The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 5-9-24

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program.

Starting point is 00:00:37 The Dunza, Dunza, Dunza. What Aaron Neesmith is saying right now, that Dante stopping in front of him. We kind of saw this in years past from Chris Paul, when he would get ahead of you and just kind of stop and make the defender come on his back. Classic Chris Paul. That's what he does. Hello again, everybody. I'm Dan. And I'm Jake.

Starting point is 00:01:12 And I'm Blake. There you go. Is that what you want? We are in symmetry. Open. For business. There it is, ladies and gentlemen. Indeed we are.

Starting point is 00:01:24 It's Thursday, the 9th of May. Show number 164 for your heroes here. Doing a video today in our studio, our home away from home. We have a listener sitting in today. He is James Crowley. You can see him if you're watching the video. He's all tough and buff. Look at him.

Starting point is 00:01:51 Once fought at Fight Night. I like that shirt. I do too. Rugby guy. He has a rain gauge. Do you really? You always put a little shot glass out there, I guess. Yeah. I don't really have a rain gauge. I had a half inch the other day. That's what she said.

Starting point is 00:02:08 Deep. Oh, yeah, bro. I love that Blake is actually doing this. What's that? Rain gauging. Oh, gauging his rain? Yeah. I felt the widest I've ever felt yesterday when I mowed the ground.

Starting point is 00:02:20 That's saying a lot for you. I know. It is something. When I mowed the grass and when the storms rolled in, I told my wife, glad I mowed today. Oh, no. That's so bad. But we needed it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:02:34 You know who needs it? The farmers. Yeah. Really good. Used to be a field. Yeah, I think all the rain is, at least my wife was alleginging that's why we have these big fuzzy caterpillars all around. Like, they're... Have you guys noticed these?

Starting point is 00:02:50 Yeah. They're so prevalent. Since you said it, I've noticed a couple. Like, I see it on the road. From the car, I can see it. No way. Like, it's... They're that big.

Starting point is 00:03:00 Like, they're in the bike lane? I don't believe you're not seeing it. You live in my neighborhood. Um... You gotta stop texting while you're driving. That's all you're doing is looking at your phone, watching TikTok. While you're zooming past me.

Starting point is 00:03:13 That's true. And then she's walking around killing them. Why? Because she said that they destroy vegetation. That was definitely on the Today Show, right? Probably. And I'm like, what impact do you think you're having? She killed three of them on our dog walk last night.

Starting point is 00:03:30 Well, you know what we do is we put them in the little container. Like I told you guys about the ladybug. Just to put on display at home? Remind me of everything you're just saying. We have like a little bug container. With like air slits in it? Yeah. Slits.

Starting point is 00:03:53 Slit. Yeah. What, for the kid? So you can play nature with the kid? Play nature. That's right. Then she can conveniently put it into the microwave with that. Because it's plastic. That's right. Who she can conveniently put it into the microwave with that. Because it's plastic.

Starting point is 00:04:07 That's right. Who didn't microwave an ant? It is microwave friendly. Raise your hand if you did not microwave an ant. I didn't microwave an ant, but I did microwave my brother's Hanson CD. Oh, okay. Yeah. Did that ruin the microwave?

Starting point is 00:04:22 It did. It blew up. It blew up the microwave? Yeah. So if you put a piece of metal in there, it actually hurts the microwave? It did. It blew up. It blew up the microwave? Yeah. So if you put a piece of metal in there, it actually hurts the microwave? Correct. Oh. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:04:31 Cool. And the CD. We should do that. We have video now, and we want to do bits. Let's do it. Let's get a microwave, and let's just see if it really works. If anybody has an old one that you're going to be throwing away anyway, you're remodeling.

Starting point is 00:04:46 Remodeling. Remodeling. If you guys have a microwave, you're getting rid of, dude. You know, the other day... Or we'll throw it off a roof or something. I don't think I told you guys about this. I made a hot pocket. It's been a long time. You know who's saying the hot pocket theme?

Starting point is 00:05:11 Camille. From Captain and Camille.ille yeah she's getting mailbox money for that yeah yeah that's right but uh the people that i'm earning the the house from they apparently were stoked on hot pockets oh why they just have a ton of them there yeah okay she stopped cooking for him yeah something happened yeah exactly right the divorce i'm a big hot pocket fan man i can't from way back i used to eat the uh the stouffer's frozen pizza honestly like i looked at the the nutrition facts it's not as bad as you would think all right has it changed uh it was like a I mean I think it was a lean pocket but it was like 5% of your daily cholesterol calories wise it was like 250 what about sodium

Starting point is 00:05:53 the sodium was not good I will give you that man I feel like such a I don't know gay or whatever that's all I do is look at the I know that's the first thing you do yeah is look at the... I know. That's the first thing you do? Yeah, is look at the thing. Well, how's this going to affect me?

Starting point is 00:06:08 Same. Like, what if... Who cares? But it was so good, though. Was it? Dude, it was so good. Hey, I have breaking news today. Hit me.

Starting point is 00:06:21 Sportsmare. Batman? Hold on. Sportsmare. Sportsmare. Sportsmare Batman? Hold on Sportsmare Okay The great Jameson made this for us Because Sportsmare is on the prowl Sportsmare Sportsmare

Starting point is 00:06:40 Sportsmare He said it's version 1 So it may even improve. SportsMare. SportsMare, Eric L. Johnson, the mayor of the city of Dallas. Boy, you miss a day, and we miss a lot. Yeah. Like Business Wednesday, there's so much stuff,

Starting point is 00:07:00 because this happened on late Tuesday, I believe, May 7th. SportsM Mayor tweets, What do you say, Mike Johnston from Colorado? That's it for us today. We've got to go before this becomes a zoo. I don't even know. Why did that run? I'm never mad at it. He said that's queued up for the end of the show. So what do you say, at Mike Johnston, Colorado, to a friendly wager on the NHL Stanley Cup playoffs Western Conference second round?

Starting point is 00:07:31 If the Avalanche win, a Texas-style belt buckle is yours on me. Or the taxpayers. State your wager and let's go all in. And then he followed that up a couple hours later because Mayor Johnston, I'm guessing, of Denver or something. Yeah. Somewhere in Colorado. Like, he just pepper sprays every mayor within the area.

Starting point is 00:07:58 He says, game on. He's ready. He's the sports mayor of Colorado. he's ready. He's the sports mayor of Colorado. When, all caps, when the Avalanche beat the Stars, you send me a Texas belt to add to my collection.

Starting point is 00:08:13 He probably has that accent. If there are any surprises, you get one of my own Denver belt buckles. Deal? Yeah. Whoa, the stakes are so high this year. Belt buckles. Someone gives a flying F about the, why is this done? What are we doing?

Starting point is 00:08:33 What a moron. Can we see the sports mayor video? He's out today, I think, pimping like the opening of a, or they're. I love sports. I do. I admit it. I love sports. We now have...

Starting point is 00:08:45 What is that hat? Let's see that again. There are times in life... Let's see it. Okay. Let's play it again. I love sports. I do.

Starting point is 00:09:00 I admit it. I love sports. Just put it on a loop. I love sports. I do. I admit it. I love sports. Just put it on a loop. I love sports. I do. I admit it. I love sports. I gotta say, though... I love sports. I do. I admit it. I love sports.

Starting point is 00:09:14 Yeah, we believe you. I love sports. I do. I admit it. I love sports. I gotta get the lyrics on that little part. I do. I admit it. that little part. I do. I admit it. I love sports. I will tell you that Colorado flag.

Starting point is 00:09:33 Phenomenal. Yeah. Really good. Yeah. Like, I think our flag is pretty good, but that flag is great. So he admits it. He's going to go out on this i admit it i admit it i love sports i know a lot of people this might kind of you know i don't know if we can reach across the aisle and agree on this but i'm one of the guys who loves sport one of the very unpopular uh tenants of society

Starting point is 00:10:03 sports i love the only thing left on television that anyone will pay for. And somehow that came up. I'm the guy who loves it. That came up in his speech somehow. Because, I mean, he's reading from those papers. I think it might be regarding the women's soccer team coming. Yeah, the thing we talked about on Tuesday. So they asked me why would we bring him here.

Starting point is 00:10:22 Because I love sports. Yeah. Excuse me. Hand up. Because I love sports. Excuse me. Hand up. I just love sports. Yeah. So on today's program, we have a lot. We're going to talk to James Crowley about rugby and stuff.

Starting point is 00:10:35 Is that true? Yes, sure. You got like a bit this weekend? Yeah, we got our year-end banquet and Hall of Fame induction. I think he was pitching us to go cover that in some way. Is that right? Yeah, it was a long shot, but I figured I'd shoot it. Couldn't get credentialed.

Starting point is 00:10:52 Blake's like, no, I'm not going to some rugby banquet. He's like, we don't do weekends. Didn't say that. I'm like, fine, I'll do it. I'll do anything. I haven't been there. I would have been there two hours early. Free food and beer, so whatever.

Starting point is 00:11:03 You should lead with that. Yeah, that. Yeah. You got any website to plug or we do it later or whatever you want? Sure. Yeah. Dallas Athletic Rugby Club. Make sure the athletic's in there because we're not Dallas. We're Dallas Athletic.

Starting point is 00:11:16 Yeah. I don't know. It's a long website. We're any more athletic. Is Sports Mayor on board with you? He must be. DARC. D-A-R-C is the socials.

Starting point is 00:11:26 Sportsmayor. I don't think we've ever met Sportsmayor before. Damn. Maybe we could get him out. Lure him over with a belt buckle or something. Yeah, tackle him. Do you tackle him rugby? Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:36 Okay. Are you asking me? Who's your favorite NFL player? Isn't there like one rugby player that we all... Was it San Francisco? The Patriots had one and the 49ers had one, yeah. Was it Ebers or something like that? Okay, so you don't care. I don't really, yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:51 You just care about Dallas rugby. That's all. Dallas athletic. Athletic, yeah. Not just Dallas rugby. It is a bit weird that it never took hold in America. It's puzzling to me. I've been around it for 20 years.

Starting point is 00:12:06 Well, what are you going to do? No, I just mean like if you think about it from the standpoint of like, obviously we love the violence of the NFL. Ah, yes. Don't get all hard. Isn't that violent enough? Football fans are big suckers for the forward pass, you know? I don't know.

Starting point is 00:12:25 All right. How did you get into it? I went to UTA, and they don't have a football team, and I saw some guys over here playing flag football and some guys over here playing rugby, and I was like, what the hell is that? I want to give it a try. Man, the rugby guys at my college were wild.

Starting point is 00:12:41 Hardcore. Oh, my God. Throwing kegs. They were drinking beer out of each other's bottoms. Yeah. What? Whatever the craziest thing you could imagine doing. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:54 Is that a part of the game? No. No, no, no. It was like after the game. But Dan is right, though. That generationally passes down. The guys I know who played rugby were the wildest dudes i've ever met ripping uh yeah they're all teed up i think we were near him in our hotel in uh daytona beach

Starting point is 00:13:11 and they we were at the front desk uh doing something i don't know you know it's every room has 15 guys in it sure it's insane right um and the the rug one of the rugby guys that i knew walks down and he comes next to me doesn't come next to me but he walks up next to me on you and then uh he's holding the shower head with like the uh wall part of the wall around it like they had ripped it out yeah it was like he's like big ape animal just yeah i knew a girl in our dorm who ran through the whole rugby team in one night i believe she was uh she was not ashamed she loved the rugby guys it feels like it could kill you um well some gave gave all, all gave. Yeah, you know, you want the ultimate. I feel like his laugh just now was very indicative.

Starting point is 00:14:10 Of like, he's like, yeah, I've been there. He's met that time. I'm at a rugby rainbow party already. Whoa. Name for it. Anyway, what I want to do right now. Sure. I have this, I know we got the Mavs to get to, and Sarah Heppola will be in here with us.

Starting point is 00:14:27 Let's act like it didn't happen. Act like the Mavs game didn't happen? We can overall, but. Got a mulligan. I got some good audio I think I'd like to play from that, but I have even better audio. And that's what I want to lead with today. with today. Have you guys heard the story of the Ohio State commencement

Starting point is 00:14:45 by anyone else but me? Because I told you I want to talk about this today. No. Ohio State University. You? Okay, maybe I just get, you know, your individual feeds are fed to you and I get a lot of Ohio guys. The algorithm. I saw a tweet,

Starting point is 00:15:01 I did not follow up on it, and then you said, I'm on it. So some are saying this is the worst commencement speech ever for a graduation. And I don't know if you remember, but the previous worst commencement speech

Starting point is 00:15:17 was at Princeton a few years ago. I showed up here 31 years ago. And I was fortunate to come here from a family. You know who this is? Gary. Jason Gary. Great brothers and sisters.

Starting point is 00:15:31 I learned a lot from them, but I probably learned excellent. I think he does the strawberry story somewhere in there. The monk. The monk, the strawberry, the beautiful strawberry, because that's kind of the only bit he has. Yeah. Okay. Let's get to Ohio State.

Starting point is 00:15:47 I want you to strap in a little bit. Okay. Let's just start by telling you the guy's name is Chris Pan. He is a self-described social entrepreneur. Okay. Okay? So that's his job. When you see someone on TV like social it's you're like, what?

Starting point is 00:16:06 What does that mean? Yeah. It feels like the type of profession that you would see on The Bachelor. So, you know, sometimes it's somebody you've kind of heard of, like maybe Jason Garrett at Princeton. They kind of heard of him. He's, you know, or just somebody that's well known within the university. Anything.

Starting point is 00:16:21 Who gave yours? I don't remember. Maybe it was like maybe a former governor of ohio or some maybe john glenn just something yeah mine mine was just uh john glenn's from ohio he one of those on the moon it wasn't the governor but still yeah mine was just like go to the moon a senator but somebody i had heard of but didn't you know and then they talked for 20 minutes very boring whatever you know we just want to send you off to give you some words of wisdom to get you out there into the world so here's chris pan and here's how uh everything starts thank you president carter for those

Starting point is 00:16:54 kind words hello buckeye family i feel so at home right now um congratulations to the class of 2024 Congratulations to the class of 2024. You've all worked so hard. I'm already stopping. Why is that? Because that's too early to clamor for applause. Milk for applause. Okay, so that's going to be a theme here. Well, at least early on.

Starting point is 00:17:19 You're going to have some other themes developing. But early on, he is a milk the applause guy. So many late nights, and we made it. So let's one more round of applause for the class. Yep. And he's clapping. 18 seconds in, and you've milked twice. Yes.

Starting point is 00:17:38 All right. So there is a theme emerging. Let me jump to cut two. Okay, hold on. Can you tell me again specifically who this person is? Again, no one knows who he is. Okay. So when you are at Ohio State and you're like,

Starting point is 00:18:00 I just want you to be like, hey, I'm a student at Ohio State. This guy is a graduate and he's a social entrepreneur. Okay. Yeah, I just, I didn't know if there were. So no one, I just, I'll tell you who he is after you hear a little bit of him. Okay. But you're just a student. Okay.

Starting point is 00:18:19 There's no, it's not like he's famous on campus. It's not like he's a legendary student. It's just, he's a guy for all you know. And again, he's famous on campus. It's not like he's a legendary student. It's just he's a guy for all you know. And again, he's a social entrepreneur. Okay. And one of the early themes, which is because he wanted to take a moment and look back at it. So he's going to take another moment. As the first pandemic class, you've already learned that you've had to adapt.

Starting point is 00:18:43 You've had to be resilient. It's not what necessarily we all wanted, but we made it. And so let's take a moment and really honor, you know, this amazing experience. So, yes, he actually is taking a moment. And that's what he did there. taking a moment. And that's what he did there. All right, he's going to thank all the people in his life that have got him here.

Starting point is 00:19:10 He sounds like Brian from Ball State. I know that I referenced that last week. But he's thanking everybody in his life, his grandma, his dad. He's just leading up to some stuff. My mom, she taught me to have an abundance mindset, enjoy life, and be kind to others. Let's take a moment

Starting point is 00:19:31 to acknowledge all the people who sacrificed and supported our journey. To all the family, the staff, the friends who got us here, can we please give them a huge thank you.

Starting point is 00:19:42 Again, we're taking moments. We're calling for applause. You've heard three of those. Yeah. And we are two minutes into the speech. Yeah, and I also just want to point out that we've done this a couple times when we're trying to acknowledge somebody,

Starting point is 00:20:00 but it is a tough look when you start clapping seven seconds before everyone else. He starts clapping, and then everyone's like, okay, yeah, I guess. All right, I guess I'll join in. We're all here. All right, so I'm listening to this, and I read the headlines. It's the worst commencement speech ever, and I'm thinking, all right, that's silly, but is this the worst ever?

Starting point is 00:20:26 Well, here's where we know we're really getting into something. I'd like to get started by moving our energy, getting our energy flowing. So if you're able to, please stand and follow my movement. Shut up.

Starting point is 00:20:46 Shut up. Wake up in the morning. Why are the lyrics so big? Carry on. Follow Chris's movements. Alright everybody to the right. Hey. Hey. Oh we got one. We got a dancer.

Starting point is 00:21:22 Tap your arms. Oh, we got one. We got a dancer. Tap your arms. Other side. All right, now stomp. Hey, hey, hey. What are the people thinking? Like, what are, like, the regents or, you know, all the stuff suits on the stage?

Starting point is 00:21:42 What is he doing? Put your hand on your heart. Take a deep breath in. Inhale. Two, three, four. Hold. Two, three, four. No one counts two, three, four.

Starting point is 00:21:56 Two, three, four. Hold. Two, three, four. So what we just did, please have a seat. Thank you. Where did my speech go? Hold two, three, four. So what we just did, please have a seat. Thank you. Where did my speech go? I don't think you wrote one.

Starting point is 00:22:11 Where'd it go? It was just riffing. So what we just did is called box breathing. Well, that's not how box breathing works. Box breathing is 4-4-4-4. It's used by the Navy SEALs to remain calm and think clearly in stressful situations. Now that we're more present, let's start with a parable. Now we're gonna...

Starting point is 00:22:29 Oh my gosh. Oh yeah. Three blind men touch an elephant. So now we do the... Do you know the elephant thing? This is fantastic. Oh, do you want to actually hear it? Yes. Do you know it? No. I didn't before I listened to the speech, I don't think.

Starting point is 00:22:46 Do you know Box Breathing? No. 4N? Old 4? So the Navy SEALs get up and sing that song to- Yes, they get up and sing. Do you want to give the elephant parable or do you want me to play? Because I didn't really-

Starting point is 00:23:02 I mean, I haven't. It's that... I think the idea is that it's like coming to things from different perspectives. So, like, you could touch, like, a different part of an animal and, like, you would think like, oh, okay, this is a deer. This is a... Or you touch a different part of the elephant

Starting point is 00:23:19 and you're like, this is a rope. Right. This is a rope. This is a... That's funny. Yeah. This is a leather couch. Right. But then, like, the sighted rope. Right, this is a rope. This isn't that funny. Yeah, this is a leather couch. Right, but then the sighted man can tell you it's actually an elephant. That's why it's important to look at things from different perspectives. Box breathing, though. Bag of bowling balls. Big fan.

Starting point is 00:23:38 But he also explained it completely incorrectly. It's 4-4-4-4. Not 2-3-4? No. Let me get up to the next portion of the speech. This is most often cited in news stories. The news stories I had didn't have he was singing three minutes into his speech.

Starting point is 00:24:03 This is the part that gets most of the play. So, you know, it's probably pretty good. My goal today is to share new perspectives that will lead you to financial, emotional, and spiritual freedom.

Starting point is 00:24:15 Blah, blah, blah. You got the elephant perspective? No. Money issues are one of life's biggest stressors. A new study shows that to have a 20% down payment for a house,

Starting point is 00:24:29 the median age of the homebuyer is in their 60s. Anyone want to wait that long? My hairdresser lamented to me that she'll be able to retire a week after her funeral, and it broke my heart. If you dream of owning a home or retiring before your funeral, then we have to become financially literate. Saving is not enough because inflation exploded after the pandemic, which is why everything got so expensive. Our government printed so much money for special projects and wars. Guess who's paying for it? The mechanics of investing are actually easy, but it comes down to mindset. The most common barriers are fear, laziness, and closed-mindedness.

Starting point is 00:25:11 Lack of resources, maybe. And understand things before other people. So I know this might feel polarizing, but I encourage you to keep an open mind right now. I see Bitcoin as a very misunderstood- polarizing, but I encourage you to keep an open mind right now. I see Bitcoin as a very misunderstood asset class. What the fuck? Asset class. People are booing. Where'd that come from?

Starting point is 00:25:37 Fine, doge. It's decentralized and finite. And then he goes on with the Bitcoin lesson. Okay. He takes a trick. So. Yeah. Crypto-com or whatever.

Starting point is 00:25:51 If we're going to work backwards here. Blockchain-com. That's right. In order to buy your house, you need to invest in Bitcoin. B60. That's right. Yes. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:02 So you wanted to know a little more about him. Now that we're at this point i can kind of tell you he's a social entrepreneur hold on uh-huh can i keep jumping in of course like i know that you and i this is the greatest thing i've ever uh brought to you you and i both love victoria our uh our hairdresser yeah he's our barber but you don't call her that um no no no no our barber our hair cutter don't call her that. No, no, no, no. Our barber. Our hair cutter. The hair cutter.

Starting point is 00:26:26 I would never say hairdresser. Yeah. Yeah. Hair artist. There's something really funny about him being like, I'm a common man and my hairdresser is still with me. Last week. He's a social entrepreneur, the founder of My Intent.

Starting point is 00:26:42 Okay. Which sells bracelets and necklaces with inspirational words and phrases. And that is profitable enough to get you to the Buckeye commencement speech. That's what you're telling me. He wrote on his LinkedIn page after media picked up on this speech, that he wrote most of the speech while on ayahuasca.

Starting point is 00:27:15 That's a tough PR look for ayahuasca. And these things are 30 bucks. I'm not going to play this one. I'm trying to limit it, but he did like a... Then he went on to explain what Bitcoin was and did a magic trick. Had the university president come up so he could, you know... Do magic. Here's a quarter, here's three quarters, and he did a magic trick, and he was pretty excited about that.

Starting point is 00:27:44 What do we got? Bitcoin. See you we got? Bitcoin. See you at the very end. I learned magic trick last week just to be able to have this moment. I learned magic trick. I learned magic trick. We've got to do some more life lessons. So for emotional freedom, I stumbled into singing as a wellness practice

Starting point is 00:28:10 after I went through a terrible breakup. Every morning I felt so much sadness and pain, I considered taking antidepressants, but intuitively I just started singing each morning. Intuitively. I'm not a trade singer, but I used it as musical therapy. I later learned that singing stimulates the amygdala, where we store emotions. It's a powerful way to release negative energy stuck in the body. Singing is also powerful for manifesting.

Starting point is 00:28:39 Is he going to make him sing again? What we sing about, we bring about. There you go. I like it. Get that on a bracelet. That is absolutely on a bracelet, right? There's no way he doesn't sell a necklace with What we sing about, we bring about. Yeah, look that up, Blake.

Starting point is 00:28:58 It's called My Intent. All one word. I'm here. So yeah, if we can get What We Sing About. Look at that bracelet. We bring about. Oh, you're seeing it? Yeah All one word. I'm here. So yeah, if we can get what we sing about. Look at that bracelet we bring about. Oh, you're seeing it? Yeah, your word. Alright, this cut It's on your screen too. Oh, I'm sorry. No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:29:13 It's just an extremely basic bracelet. Like, there's nothing cool about that at all. Okay. Speaking of there's nothing cool about it at all, I marked this and just said, I feel like he's the uncool McConaughey. And lastly, I'd love to share the power of intention for spiritual growth.

Starting point is 00:29:36 Life is a series of intentions. Each intention is a lesson for our soul to grow. Don't you feel like if McConaughey said that, we'd be like, oh, yeah, bro. Each intention. That's right, yeah. My soul could grow, man. But this nerd is saying it, and we're like, get out of here, dweeb. All right.

Starting point is 00:30:01 I have just, this cut is labeled, this is incredible. So I'm not exactly sure what it is because we've already heard these other things. A lot of incredible things, yeah. But let's just sit back and listen to Chris Pan a little bit more. Because we're about nine minutes in now, actually. Okay, remind me. 9.44. This is Ohio State's commencement, right?

Starting point is 00:30:25 Yeah. So do you have any idea? I mean, I know that you and I talked about the people that we had had at our universities, but who normally does this? Who what? Like speaks at these, right? Well, I can tell you that Ohio State has an Ohio State Speaker Advisory Committee. Okay.

Starting point is 00:30:48 They listed an original list of 79 names were originally considered by the committee. Then they pared it down to 10. Like the playoff committee. This guy was not on that pared down list. Okay. The president of Ohio State, he's very new. He's been there less than a year. What's Herbie's dog's name, Blake?

Starting point is 00:31:14 Ben. Herb Street is on the list. I would imagine so, yeah. Jim Trestle. Yeah. Former head coach. Kamala Harris. It says ice cream Jenny Britton Bauer.

Starting point is 00:31:31 Oh, okay. So she must own the Bauer. Is it Bauer ice cream? I don't know. Let's see. LeBron James was on their list. Zelensky from Ukraine. Auto parts. Guy Fieri

Starting point is 00:31:47 who is born in Columbus. Not from the auto parts. Guy Fieri. So the point is that But this guy wasn't even in the mix. And then they said they cut down on people that they thought were too divisive like Trump, Elon Musk, and kept some that are questionable.

Starting point is 00:32:03 Dave Chappelle was on their list. But they didn't know. Is that too hot to handle? But they picked this guy. Oh, he's from Ohio. Yeah, he lives very close to Columbus. Lives very close to Dayton, actually. Yellow Springs is what the town is called that he lives in.

Starting point is 00:32:19 Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you all. Ted Carter. It's just confusing to me that this guy, he doesn't seem smart. He doesn't seem like all that well read. They had Tim Cook a couple years ago. Yeah. And now it's this guy. But the president is like, okay, cool recommendations that you've pared it down to.

Starting point is 00:32:39 Right. I got a guy. I got a guy. Back pocket. We have the same hairdresser. Again, next cut label this is incredible let's just see where it is feel free to close your eyes if it helps you drop in no it's going to take about a minute but i'd love to help you find a word to guide you

Starting point is 00:32:54 through the next chapter of this journey totally optional if you want to close your eyes you'll be able to go a little deeper this is true you're also welcome it's 100% youth group. 4, 4, 4, 4. Every hit. Exhale. Two. Three. Four. Hold. Every hand. Did I oversell this? Because I was telling you guys yesterday, it's the greatest thing I've ever found.

Starting point is 00:33:36 Now, I'd love to invite you to bring to mind someone you really admire. What is the quality that you admire about this person? Like, you raised the bar last week. You had this William Pace video, and I'm like, I gotta beat that. That they're open-minded,

Starting point is 00:33:57 that they're a good listener, that they're persistent. Get on your feet, people. Now, I'd love to ask you, what is a quality or virtue you want more of in your life? Oh, my God. Think about it, Jake.

Starting point is 00:34:20 You're not giving this guy a chance. What do you want to remind yourself when you wake up tomorrow morning and you look down on your wrist? Go to my website. I want to be open with blood. Be your best self. Looking for my knife.

Starting point is 00:34:35 As an anchor for your truth. Your truth. The North Star for your dreams. The North Star. Great. How many of these can we get? Okay. for your dreams the north star yeah great how many of these can we get okay okay my dad has a coffee can full of those in the garage we're we're heading home here hold on

Starting point is 00:35:05 take a deep breath in. And let it go. Now, as an apology for talking about Bitcoin, I'm going to gift everybody. Like he read the room. He's like, all right. He sees. That was like a. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned Bitcoin. I got the booze.

Starting point is 00:35:21 I got some jeers. Yeah. Now, as an apology for talking about Bitcoin, I'm going to gift everybody in the stadium your own custom MyIntent bracelet. I don't want your... I want Bitcoin.

Starting point is 00:35:35 Wait, here's his real... So he's like, yes, I'm going to give you a MyIntent bracelet. But, listen. There's going to be an a my intent bracelet. Great. But listen. There's going to be an email coming to you with details. And so hopefully this will take you through the next chapter. So you have to put in your register.

Starting point is 00:35:55 You have to put in your data. He's in your credit card info. He's mining your data. Yes, he's getting. That's what this is all about. 100%. He's like, you know how many names and addresses I can get here? 100% what it is. That's what a social entrepreneur means? 100%. He's like, you know how many names and addresses I can get here? It's 100% what it is. That's what a social entrepreneur means.

Starting point is 00:36:06 Look at this About Me section. My mission is to help a billion people find emotional, spiritual, and financial freedom. We will heal, learn, and build a new Earth together. Should have capitalized Earth, I think, right? I mean, unless you mean new Earth like earth as a noun rather than a proper noun. Is this redundant? Using evidence-based proven approaches. Very.

Starting point is 00:36:32 Such as singing in intention setting. We will put theory into practice to be the change we want to see. I hate this guy. Yeah, no. I don't love it. He's not done. What I have learned hosting gatherings with people from different cultures is that both sides are in deep pain and grief. Pain unhealed turns into hatred.

Starting point is 00:36:55 Hurt people hurt people. But healed people heal people. When we heal ourselves, we heal the world. World peace starts with inner peace. There you go. Dude, I just graduated from a state school. Yeah, I'm just...

Starting point is 00:37:15 I'm just trying to go, like, rip a... Go party tonight, man. Peg stand or something. All right, a couple final thoughts to send you into the world last thing is when you use your voice are you causing more divisiveness

Starting point is 00:37:30 are you part of the healing can we all be the flower in the gun the word on my bracelet is the ampersand the symbol yes and bracelet is the ampersand. The symbol? The yes and guy. Yes and, that's right.

Starting point is 00:37:53 I'm all about this guy, man. It's the ampersand. All right. Want to wrap it up? Yeah, but I do have one thing I want to say, though. Go ahead. Is it divisive? No, no, no.

Starting point is 00:38:06 It's not divisive, and we're going to lift up our voices. And I got one more cut to wrap it up, yeah. Okay, so I just, the funniest thing to me about this is, like, I like going to therapy. I like that we have, like, some level of discussion about mental health and stuff like that. I would interrupt you and just say, you're wasting your money.

Starting point is 00:38:25 You should just get up and sing. Go ahead. Yeah, that's true. You tried antidepressants. That's right. It just didn't work. Stuff like this makes it so much worse. Yeah, this diminishes.

Starting point is 00:38:38 A hundred percent. Because you feel lumped in? Yes. I feel lumped in. Because you're speaking this guy's language. But I don't want to. Because you've heard this guy's language. But I don't want to. Because you've heard these terms before. I've heard all these terms before.

Starting point is 00:38:49 But that's the thing is I'm like, all right, I feel like it's good to talk to people. It's good to be open, especially as a male, et cetera. And then this guy gets up here and he's like, sing. You're not being invited to speak at any speeches. I know. Or at any commencements, I should should say they paid him an exposure i think that's what all right what oh what's your word what is a challenge you want to overcome you got this breathe faith warrior blessed hakuna matata of course all right One final cut. And this is pretty much ending the time on screen. How long did he go?

Starting point is 00:39:30 Only about 16 minutes. That's it? Yeah. He's worked a lot into the 16 minutes. It felt like it's been an hour. He's packed it in for sure. I love my experience as a chemistry TA. I truly did.

Starting point is 00:39:42 Teacher's assistant? That's what he did. You're not like a dean. Right. That's the highest level he ever got to. And so I would love the opportunity to perhaps be your That's it for us today.

Starting point is 00:39:59 Can we just delete that cut? We don't want this. I would love the opportunity to perhaps be your life TA if you're interested. Oh, my God. My contact information will be up there. I have a website. I have social.

Starting point is 00:40:14 I would love to hear from you. I would love to be a part of the conversation. I've already been a part of so many conversations. And if you would join me for one last celebration, And if you would join me for one last celebration. As we remember, the world is a dark place. But if we all shine our light, the world will be bright. What?

Starting point is 00:40:37 Oh, no. And feel free to stand if you're called to. Thank you. And feel free to stand if you're called to. Yeah, look at all the regents in the back. He's going to make them clap. I'm going to let it shine. This is kind of your whole life. You've lived this, right? You lived all those therapy words? Okay. This is amazing.

Starting point is 00:41:26 Cosby wasn't available. Oh, my God. This is an old that had a decision to make. How do we reach these 20-year-old kids? Ah. And it's a guy that's out of touch. That's what they landed on? Yeah, they're not going to listen to Kamala Harris.

Starting point is 00:41:43 They're not going to listen to a CEO. Let's get a social media guy. They're not going to listen to Bill Nye. And, of course, they're way going to listen to Kamala Harris. They're not going to listen to a CEO. Let's get a social media guy. They're not going to listen to Bill Nye. And, of course, they're way off the mark. Yeah. You might as well just have Logan and Jake do all of these, right? Every year. Don't you think?

Starting point is 00:41:57 Your Dude Perfect guys are going to do it. Exactly, yeah. Don't put that out there. That's going to happen. Yes, they'll speak at UTD next year. Dude Perfect will do the A&M commencement. That's a great call. That's a great call.

Starting point is 00:42:12 That's a really good call. Boy, where's the odds on that? Man. Before Manziel makes the PGA here. Right, he's got a few more years. The death of force racing. Ah. Well, it's hard to go anywhere from that.

Starting point is 00:42:27 Can we listen to some Shane Gillis or something? Like, I need a palate cleanser. Let's do a little of this real quick. Hey, everybody. It's time to answer some of today's viewer mail. Or just read it. I don't know. I got one from BL who says,

Starting point is 00:42:43 Please give DF and my son Jack Lieber. You know Brett Lieber? BL? I do. Good dude. Happy graduation shoutout. He graduates tomorrow. Now, he realizes you may be upset with this, Jake. This is not a birthday shoutout. But number one, he is BL.

Starting point is 00:42:59 And number two, he says he's graduating from Texas State. Nice. I mean, who could do that? Yeah. Nice. The DL draft. I mean, who could do that? Don't just hand those out. Did he draft? Julius Jones.

Starting point is 00:43:15 Julius Jones. Number one overall. No, somebody else did in our league. The Landry Cup? The Landry Cup, our fantasy football league. It's great because it's full of Cowboy fans who will certainly overrate and reach on any kind of league. Troy Hambrick. Oh, man.

Starting point is 00:43:31 Zeke may be a second-round pick this year just because he scores a lot of touchdowns. That'll be the rationale. I mean, he's the finisher. Happy birthday to Ryan Pratt from Kate and Tyler, his wife and son. That's all she wrote. That's pretty cool. A bunch of bits. Straight to the point, yeah.

Starting point is 00:43:52 I like that. Pictures. Okay, why don't you? No pictures. James Crowley. Also could have been a thruple type situation. With wife and son? I don't know about that.

Starting point is 00:44:08 Although stepson is certainly in the mix. Yeah. If my documentaries that I've watched are any indication. Did I ever tell you about, I think I suggested to you the book, Everybody Lies? Yes, I believe I bought it just on the list on the shelf so uh it's weird like i i think the guy like doesn't jack off because he's like 90 of the porno that i surveyed on the internet says stepsister or stepson. Like people are into... What's the word for it?

Starting point is 00:44:50 Taboo? Yeah, but like... I mean, I've never searched. Incest? Arkansas stuff? Yeah, but it's like nobody actually thinks that. Oh, yeah. So he viewed that

Starting point is 00:45:04 and was like incest is a massive taboo problem in America. No, it's actually not. How did he get 90%? I think it was a content analysis of just running the titles. Or his own search history? Perhaps, yeah. I don't know. He's doing research.

Starting point is 00:45:22 Can I get a shout out for my Marty Turco birthday? 35? I will get woken up in that special way. By that, I mean my wife has committed to getting the child ready and taking him to daycare so I can have a lazy morning. Hell yeah. My leaders are the occasional whistle from Dan when he says a word that begins or ends with the letter S. Could we get Drop Beth to be on the lookout? with the letter S.

Starting point is 00:45:44 Could we get Drop Beth to be on the lookout? And his other leader is the lost episode, the same week that Blake decides to go to the zoo on Business Wednesday. Is there a correlation? Who knows? This is from AOL Chet. Dear Grand Poobah, please wish good dude Tucker Harding happy birthday.

Starting point is 00:46:05 He is a day Peyton Manning subbie. Okay. It is his Dorian Finney Smith on the Nets birthday. I don't know the Nets. I thought you were Mr. Basketball. On the Nets? He was there for half a season. Really?

Starting point is 00:46:24 Where is he now? I do think he has one year left, but I mean, they were... He got hurt. 28. There you go. Nobody could possibly know that. His leader is the bass drop after Jerry tells draftees they're a cowboy.

Starting point is 00:46:41 Dude. We need to find a way to replay that. And Blake's recording skills. He demands more high T Jake from his favorite recreational and comedy podcast, No Puppet, Jeremy Hardegree. I got you. And I have other stuff, but we have a lot to do today. So we will have to get to that human centipede email later. Come on.

Starting point is 00:47:10 Sorry. We'll have to do that tomorrow. But we have the video. Can we do it? Can we do it? Never? You have a human centipede video? I won't watch it.

Starting point is 00:47:24 Do you want one? You just said I have the video. Okay. Give me a second. No, no, no, no, no. We're not going to do it today. No. Because we have sports.

Starting point is 00:47:33 We have Sarah. Is Sarah here yet? She said she just parked. She just parked? All right. Let's do sports for a few minutes, and then we'll get to Sarah. From the wonderful world of sports, Radio Sports Scoreboard. Because we have Mavs. I know you want to ignore it, Jake.

Starting point is 00:47:51 But you can't. You write for D Magazine. I do. And Eric Johnson wants us to talk sports. Look, he admits it. Yeah, he admits. He loves sports. He's one of the few.

Starting point is 00:48:06 I love sports. I do. of the few. I love sports. I do. I admit it. I love sports. Man, I got to be honest. If you just go back to the first four or five possessions of game six against the Clippers, Luka looked really, really busted. Then he just turned it on.

Starting point is 00:48:26 Yeah, so look at a bad game again. Dude. But actually, like, what was this? Even the numbers at the end didn't look... No, you couldn't even be like, oh, it's a bad game for Luka, but he's got 38 and... Right. 38 and 6.

Starting point is 00:48:39 No, I mean, he had 19 points. He looked hobbled. What about the allegation that SGA intentionally tripped him, but it wasn't called? Dort. Oh, was it Dort? Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.

Starting point is 00:48:56 On like a three-point shot and then did the old kick your foot out, which I thought we've outlawed. Or at least we've outlawed that as far as that being able to be a way to draw a foul. I would not be surprised, given the way that the NBA works, if Luka has like 20 foul shots tonight. Just because it just feels like it's almost like with the Cowboys, where if everybody starts talking about something, it feels like the league, their infrastructure,

Starting point is 00:49:26 the institution starts to overcorrect and respond to it. I would not be surprised by that at all. And it's already a thing with Gildas Alexander. He's already known as a guy. He's like New Harden. Oh, my gosh. You're right. You told me before the series.

Starting point is 00:49:42 It's so annoying. That second quarter was unbearable for me. It's so annoying. What did he have, 15 free throws at half? I think so, yeah. And Kyrie said it after the game. It seems like they called it like a regular season game. 10 at half, I want to say.

Starting point is 00:49:58 But in any case, yeah. Yeah. My observations on the game was, first of all, that OKC fan base, it's weird. I thought of you because before the game, they did like blue columns, right?

Starting point is 00:50:18 Blue, white, blue, white, all the way around. And until a couple days ago, I thought that was really cool, but now I just think it's lame. Why? I actually think they know how to do a coordinated bit. I haven't previewed this, but we can play it if you want. Like Mavs fans do not know.

Starting point is 00:50:32 No. Like Jake even said. Jake, you guys went to the game and didn't put on the Mavs. And I'm part of the problem. Yeah. 100%. Because you dress for, you don't do it, but people are there to dress to see and be seen. And, well, I can't just wear this crappy t-shirt.

Starting point is 00:50:45 It just seemed like the equivalent of you have a family vacation t-shirt that everyone's wearing. Yeah, yeah. That's their whole fan base. It's very bachelorette party. And do you note that they don't get up during the game? No. They don't move. There's not people walking in and out.

Starting point is 00:51:02 They're set. It's amazing. When you see the, like, so I think it was game six. Start of the second half, Mavs Arena's half full. Like, people are all getting their whiskey, getting their drink, whatever. People are in their seats. The game will still be going on. Yeah, but in Oklahoma City, people are in their seat at the start of the second half.

Starting point is 00:51:25 Here, like I said, I haven't previewed this, so maybe this is a little bit dicey, but a good listener sent this to me. What is it? Pre-game. We thank you for a day of family fun and great competition. We pray for all those affected by the recent storms in our state. We pray this and many blessings in your precious name.

Starting point is 00:51:51 Amen. Oh, man. Tornadoes. So, yes, they have a pregame prayer, and the place gets deadly silent. That was really silent for 20,000 people. The place is deadly silent. And, in fact, they don't seem to play

Starting point is 00:52:06 the rock and music, the rap and stuff as much as other... It's not as much. Watch that tonight. It's not as much. It's some, but it's not as much. You're right. Does SGA have no tattoos?

Starting point is 00:52:22 I don't think so. So that kind of fits? What? Just the whole Oklahoma City vibe. You know, if you're going to play there and you're the guy without tattoos. I didn't know if you were trying to say he's Canadian or what, because he is Canadian. I don't know.

Starting point is 00:52:39 He's an NBA player. And NBA players nowadays, it's a very big oddity. Aren't there a handful? Can you even, is it like 10 or something that don't have tattoos? No tattoos. I just remember Dirk

Starting point is 00:52:53 was one of the very few. Yeah. Even at the time of his retirement. And I always thought that Kobe? Just kind of cool. Did Kobe ever have a tattoo?

Starting point is 00:53:01 After rape, he had tattoos. PR? Post-rape? Or AR? No one says after rape. After he raped the girl in Denver, he got tattoos. Jeez! Peace! That's part of his community

Starting point is 00:53:17 service or something. Yeah, Luke was bad. Hit his first three and then just missed... Did he miss everyone after that? At least everyone in the rest of the half. Yeah, and that's a weird thing. What? Just the

Starting point is 00:53:32 shooting splits are so bad. I mean, this is by far the best year that he's had from deep. I mean, he's hitting it like 38, 39%. Arguably, he was the best shooter in the league this year outside of Steph Curry. Like, if you combine volume with efficiency,

Starting point is 00:53:50 and for that to just go. Over the whole postseason, he's 17 for 74. That is just god-awful. And it's been a mix, you know? It's been spot-ups, it's been it's been a mix you know it's been spot ups it's been step backs it's been catching shoots and nothing is falling and it wasn't just the shooting for me it was just he just started deferring to Kyrie I mean players would look at him to pass on the ball and he would just wave him away and so he wasn't right and and that was with four days. Yeah. Four days rest?

Starting point is 00:54:25 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now you got two. I mean, this is kind of the night, like you said, not only might he go to the free throw line a lot, but the Luka M.O. is now he will rise up and just have a monster game. Like in game six.

Starting point is 00:54:44 And also the day after, or is it the day? Is today when they announced the MVP? Today. And he got third. Yeah. I thought for sure he's going to get a second. So did I. Distant third.

Starting point is 00:54:58 Pretty far off. Yeah. I think I can't cash in on that bet anymore. It's okay. But it was great value. We're all pulling for you. You had him to show. So what do we have?

Starting point is 00:55:09 Iron Eagle. Grand Hill. And Grand Hill. And Iron Eagle, I know he's the golden boy and everybody loves Iron Eagle, and he's got a sick reference right here. Donchich. Door hits the deck. Williams.

Starting point is 00:55:24 Glides in. It's in. High flyer. 74-67. It's like we're at the Arsenio Hall show. Oh, take it back. You can hear the dog pound. Woof, woof, woof. What a dork.

Starting point is 00:55:48 Do you have any idea what that means? Do they bark at the... 30-year-old Blake. No. Yeah. I didn't think you would. You do. Of course. Arsenio Hall.

Starting point is 00:55:55 I was a big fan of that show. That made me feel cool. My mom used to let me stay up and watch it. Yeah, you had a hallway at Texas State. Do you recall that, Dan? Remind me. God, this looks so bad. So in your rental house or something?

Starting point is 00:56:14 Look how bad that is. Yeah, why do you want to show us that? Making me horny. Come over there and crease that crease. No, my house in San Marcos, there was a hallway that connected one part of the house to the other, and we hung up a picture of Arsenio Hall, and we called it Arsenio Hall.

Starting point is 00:56:45 I love it. I also love Grease That Crease. Never heard that before. Why did you write that down? I did. Yeah, why? I'm going to incorporate it into my game. For sure.

Starting point is 00:56:57 When I write something, it helps me remember it. Sure. Tension. Okay, Grant Hill. He's got puns. Lou Dort. What do you know about him? He's got puns Lou Dort What do you know about him? He's very good at

Starting point is 00:57:09 Defense Defense He's real big on defense So here's Grant Hill Thought of this the night before perhaps I'll tell you, Ian This defense is swarming Look at the Dortra chamber right here

Starting point is 00:57:21 No good, Grant. No good. Okay. Did he and Ian fist bump at that moment? Oh, my gosh. Ian's like, fuck. Actually, it was probably a moment of jealous. I get like, oh, man.

Starting point is 00:57:37 I wish I thought of that. Yeah, he went back to the TV truck, and they were like, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Yeah. They were loving that. Excellent. And here, they're having lots of fun. Looked like he might have maybe stubbed his toe a little bit, planted real quick.

Starting point is 00:57:54 May have rolled his ankle. Always driving. Ooh, planted there. Collided with the right foot of Derrick Jones Jr. So the left ankle of Gilgis Alexander buckled a bit. Wallace at the free throw line. Shouted at 78% on the season. He's moving fine.

Starting point is 00:58:16 He's 25. You know, they recover quickly. What's the age where you no longer recover quickly? 51. You very much internalized that. I just thought that was... Yeah. It was the one big moment of...

Starting point is 00:58:32 Yeah, that could be a drop. 51. Yeah, okay. Absurd. Anyway, we do have a guest coming up, and we got another game coming up, right? How do you feel about tonight? Not good at all.

Starting point is 00:58:48 Oh, no. Not good at all. It just depends on Luca, man. If he feels like he did the other night, then no, the Mavs have no chance. Yeah. So we'll see. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:06 It's as easy as that. I feel like you could really use a 38-point Kyrie game. Well, that would really bolster your article prediction too, right? Thank you. You said this was Kyrie's series. But, I mean, I actually do believe that. Sure. I actually think, like, okay, Luca's hurt. It's not going to get better.

Starting point is 00:59:26 They have a second superstar. What if he could just win them a series over the course of nine days? Do you think that's interesting that like his first half and second half splits are so. Yeah, it's like we were talking about the other day. I don't know how to make sense of it. They were talking to Jason Kidd, I think, in one of the quarter breaks, asking him about that. And it's like now it's just a big storyline.

Starting point is 00:59:51 Yeah. That, hey, can you get him going in the second quarter maybe? What if we start that? And you know what's funny about it is even the game that Luke, again, to go back to game six, they ran the first like three sets for Kyrie, and he didn't really even score. Didn't he have like 10 points in that game? I don't recall that.

Starting point is 01:00:15 Not game – maybe it was game five. Again, I'm not – But it was the game where they ran like a few things for Kyrie like early on. And he didn't end up having like a super, you know, box score productive game. But it was clear that he was the reason that they won. Yeah. They need that. And we could use a hardaway night.

Starting point is 01:00:39 Keep saying that since December. Yeah. All right. The Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza

Starting point is 01:00:47 Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza

Starting point is 01:01:03 Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza Dunza-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUNZA-DUN you made the wrong choice. If you're in a wreck, make the smart choice right away.

Starting point is 01:01:10 Frankel & Frankel. Chosen by the people, feared by the insurance companies. Call Frankel first. You're listening to I take a deep breath, get real high, and I scream at the top of my lungs. You're listening to... One more time, a little louder. Wake up in the morning. I take a deep breath, get real high, and I scream at the top of my lungs.

Starting point is 01:01:44 All right, everybody, to the right. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Left, hey, hey, hey, hey. Oh, now the left. Tap your arms. All right, we're done with that. Oh, wow. I'm abrupt.

Starting point is 01:02:02 Because joining us now in studio, along with James Crowley, who is here for rugby. Or what would you say? What are you here for? I'm here for rugby. Dallas Athletic Rugby Club. 25th anniversary season. Hall of Fame banquet this weekend. Now, did you want us to, like, promote the banquet?

Starting point is 01:02:20 Like, people go to the banquet? Or you just want people to... It's open to the public. Are you just trying to raise awareness? He's just here for big rugby or big rugby. I support big rugby, any rugby, but preferably our club,

Starting point is 01:02:31 Dallas athletic rugby. We are currently and always recruiting players and supporters. How do you think I'd hold up? Really? Well, really well. There's a place for everyone in rugby. We're the most inclusive sport in the world.

Starting point is 01:02:44 That's what they tell the people who suck. There's a place for everyone. Do you have flag rugby? Jake would want to play flag rugby. There is flag rugby as well as touch rugby. Play a lot of touch. You know who you're sitting next to right now, man? Two anywhere. I do. We were introduced.

Starting point is 01:03:00 Introduce her to the people at home. To the people at home. The great Sarah Heppler. Tap of applause. Come on, everybody. One more time. Yeah, one more time. Four in, four out.

Starting point is 01:03:22 To the left. I said hey. Hello, Sarah Heppler. Hi. Was that Jake doing karaoke? That's what I thought it was. Perhaps. You'll have to tune in to find out.

Starting point is 01:03:32 Oh, I would, except nobody gave me a subscription. Yeah, well, it's YouTube.com and it's free. I subscribe to your effing podcast. You keep saying that like it was a trade we did. You know, you don't appear on my podcast. What do you mean? I what? You don't appear oning podcast. You keep saying that like it was a trade we did. You know, you don't appear on my podcast. What do you mean? I what? You don't appear on my podcast. No. I appear on your podcast.

Starting point is 01:03:52 Right. Have you been asked, Dan? No. That's a good point. She doesn't want subs. Oh, I do. They're not looking for subscriptions. Believe me. I'm a sub driver. In fact, the last radio station I was on doesn't exist anymore. I was on The Freak in Dallas last Thursday and on Friday.

Starting point is 01:04:11 Yeah. That's right. I did actually hear. Sometimes I listen to you guys when you make it free. I was on Thursday and you were on Friday. And then they never did another show. They died. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:23 You wiped out that one. I killed Quick. Did I ever tell you that? Congratulations. What did you do? I did a column, a weekly column with my friend T.C. Fleming and about

Starting point is 01:04:39 six months in, they folded. That's great. So what was that? Dallas Morning News? Yeah. Or was it like an observer? No, I think it was a DMN product, right? It was. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:53 Yeah. It was. It was their, you know, it's pre-internet, really. The internet is what killed Quick. You know that. Yeah. It was essentially their attempt to compete with Alt Weekly's, who had the tabloids that you would get for free when you were standing in line.

Starting point is 01:05:08 And then suddenly everybody had a phone in their hand instead and didn't want anything to do with this trash. I think it's bizarre to the younger generation that we used to pick up these free tabloids and read them in line, but you didn't have anything to do. You know know what's interesting about that is we had uh we had michael mooney in here the other day oh my god he's the best he is the best and something that we didn't really follow up that much on with blake was blake was super confused about the concept of classifieds wow is that right like we started we we went down the path of you know talking about talking about Hold Fast and getting into the Backpage stuff. But Blake was like, what is that?

Starting point is 01:05:52 Like, if you need a, where's a garage sale going on this weekend? Yeah. Right. Go to the class finds. Yeah, I mean, it makes sense now that I work backwards. Because in sitcoms, I don't know if you need an apartment, you open the newspaper. But I just never really made that connection. Like where in the newspaper would you find this?

Starting point is 01:06:08 Yeah. Who needs 10 chickens? That kind of stuff. Go there. I had no idea. Yeah. Have you ever seen those videos on YouTube or TikTok where it's teens sitting around a rotary dial phone

Starting point is 01:06:22 trying to figure out how to use it? I have not. They're amazing. They have no out how to use it? I have nods. They're amazing. They have no idea how they work. Okay, that sounds funny. VHS. Yeah. Yeah, my kids are always fascinated.

Starting point is 01:06:33 Speaking of. What do we got? I was hoping she brought gifts. Oh, Sarah brought gifts. I brought gifts. Oh, yes. Ew, look at that thing. That is great.

Starting point is 01:06:43 Now, again, I'm going to get up your ass here Sarah You can't call that a gift when Jake paid you for it That's not the only gift There's three other things in there Jesus Christ Well well I will back out of the ass Which I have gotten up into This is a

Starting point is 01:06:58 Doritos themed Football landline phone A football phone It is a football phone Could you get that hooked up I'm going to try They have a hard line in here somewhere The rest of it is for you though

Starting point is 01:07:13 Oh it is And I just yelled at Sarah It's for both of you I bought you gifts Now one of them was paid for But the other ones are from my heart. Oh, okay. And so, okay, because I know that you're huge Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders fans, I've gotten

Starting point is 01:07:36 you a collectible trading card. Trading card? That is from 1981-ish. It's Suzanne, I'm sorry, it's Stephanie Schultz. That's awesome. She's a big deal. You know, she was famous. Really? Yeah, she wrote, the Schultz sisters all wrote a tell-all book called Deep in the Heart of Texas that talked about all the cocaine and crazy crap that was going on on the cheerleader squad.

Starting point is 01:07:56 So they kind of got exiled ultimately. Just for cocaine? Well, they weren't doing cocaine necessarily. They were telling stories. But they were debutantes from the Lubbock area. Yeah, I don't do cocaine necessarily either. Let's just put that up here. Smells great.

Starting point is 01:08:11 Yeah. The big shelf. Yeah, so that's a collectible. And then this is a... Oh, a Hot Rod magazine, because obviously you have to have a Hot Rod magazine. March 1969. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:24 50 cents, Hot Rod. Phenomen. Yeah. 50 cents. Hot Rod. Phenomenal. Yes. I do like these old magazines. That's a good bit. And. Was that the month and year you were born?

Starting point is 01:08:34 I believe so. Okay. I wasn't born in 69, Blake. Oh. Conceived. I was born to 69. That's right. Through 69.

Starting point is 01:08:44 Now what do we got here? This says Neiman Marcus on it. Yeah. I'm classy. That's right. Through 69. Now what do we got here? This says Marcus on it. Yeah, I'm classy. That's just cookies. Oh. Can we eat these or will we be hallucinating by the end of the show? No, you can eat them. And you'll be hallucinating. I was going to say, those don't feel like exclusionary

Starting point is 01:09:00 options. Can alcoholics eat pot cookies? That's a really interesting, controversial topic. You know, AA... First of all, yes, obviously. Because I feel like pot would help you chill

Starting point is 01:09:14 the F out. You are high wire act. You're always ready to go. Me? Yeah, you're just like... You're trying to get me on pot. That's what this is about. Yeah. On pot. You're here... That's why we got you in studio today. I don't know how to say it. What do you say yeah on pot you're here on i don't know that's why we got you in the studio i don't know how to say what do you say on dope use weed i don't know you understand how those don't feel like substantively different to me on pot use weed on dope yeah i don't know yeah i mean like the aa thing is nothing i just think it i'm i'm here

Starting point is 01:09:42 for big pot you're here for big rugby yeah i'm here for big pot. You're here for big rugby. Rugby, yeah. I'm here for big pot just to try and say there's some good things about it. Look into it. You know, Jake. Have you looked into it? I'm going to be talking to you now. Okay. I'm here.

Starting point is 01:09:54 Yeah. Yeah. How you doing? I'm doing well. Good, good. Doing quite well. Yeah. The AA path is nothing.

Starting point is 01:10:02 Like, I don't even think they want you to drink coffee. No, they don't care about that. But here's the thing about AA, and it's very similar to religion in this way. It's based on a book that was written by a man who was dead. Do you know who owns the original manuscript of that? I do, because you've told me many times. Jim Irsay, who owns the Indianapolis Colts. Yeah, because he's an alcoholic. He paid like $9 million for it. He's a dirty drunk. Wow. He's more than that. Indianapolis Colts. Yeah. Because he's an alcoholic.

Starting point is 01:10:25 He paid like $9 million. He's a dirty drunk. Wow. He's more than that. That's his Bible. Yeah. There's a book that I often get for, like, when I go do talks and they want to be like, oh, hey, we got you this gift.

Starting point is 01:10:38 And there's this book that is the original manuscript reproduced with all the scribbles in it. And it's, you know, oversized. The margins. Yeah. I have like three And it's, you know, oversized. The margins. Yeah. I have like three copies of that if you ever want one. Yeah. No, no, no.

Starting point is 01:10:52 I'm just saying it might be helpful to both of you. We don't need to quit any. I can quit any time I want. I absolutely can. You can't get addicted to that. No, the truth is, guys, I don't like pot. It doesn't suit me. It doesn't suit me. It doesn't suit me.

Starting point is 01:11:07 It makes me very paranoid and kind of sunk into myself. Yeah. So... Dance. Okay. Hey, fine. Everybody can do their own bit. I actually do not care.

Starting point is 01:11:21 But what I do care about is the great Sarah Heppela. And I have been wondering, Sarah Heppela, world famous author, New York Times bestselling author, Dallas Morning News employee now, right? Yeah, that's true. I have been wondering, what if you married Michael Cera? What would your name be? Oh, that's such a good question. Yeah. Has anyone ever asked you that before? No, but I've thought about it.

Starting point is 01:11:44 Have you really? Literally. Like, would you stay with heppola well yeah professionally you couldn't professionally you'd have to uh change your last name but i would love to go by sarah sarah on the documents now let me add okay you're here today because we wanted to first of all invite you to our uh new studio our possible home away from home. Look, guys. Because you refuse to travel out to the Dragon Den. This is way too legitimate for the two of you. Agreed. That's why we got Video Man over there.

Starting point is 01:12:12 He's the guy that did all this. Yeah. Or else we'd be sitting above my garage. Correct. That's our capabilities with a phone videoing us. We actually had that. Possibly a Doritos football phone. That's right. I just think that

Starting point is 01:12:28 you look really high-powered with that. Yeah, I feel it. When you guys do audio stuff, like if listeners call in or whatever, even if it doesn't work, I want you to be on the Doritos. So you're holding that. Yeah, I don't think you have to worry about that. You're saying

Starting point is 01:12:44 you're going to do it. Yeah. There's no doubt. Yeah. Just to be clear, I got these at Dolly Python. I was at Dolly Python on Saturday, and I was looking for a little something-something for you guys. That's when I got the Hot Rod magazine. But I saw this thing, and I texted you and said, gosh, if I were more generous, I'd buy you this Doritos-themed football phone. And Jake just popped in on a Saturday. Holy shit.

Starting point is 01:13:06 Yeah. How much is it? So it's yours now. Yeah, it was totally affordable. It's 35 bucks. Totally affordable. What is Dolly? Python.

Starting point is 01:13:17 Yeah. It's like a thrifty type place in Dallas. Kick-ass vintage store on Haskell over in East Dallas. Okay. But you wrote something for Texas Monthly. I wrote the cover story for Texas Monthly. And I'm very confused. Sure.

Starting point is 01:13:32 Because you write for the Dallas Morning News. I know. Now that feels like competition. Like you write somewhere, but then you write somewhere else, and both people can pay you. They're going to sue me? Well, in my experience that can't happen uh but apparently you had that carved out i had that i had i got grandfathered in and you were allowed to do that so uh let's talk about what you what

Starting point is 01:13:56 your new bit is or your uh big article well it's it's a it's a big uh Were you guys familiar with the show Cheer? I was, yeah. My experience with it was my wife watched it. I think Jubb, George Dunham, actually talked about it on the morning show a little bit. That sounds right. And then Jerry got in trouble. Jerry got in trouble?

Starting point is 01:14:25 Isn't that the name of the kid? Oh, Jerry Harris. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, when you said that, I thought you meant Jerry Jones. No, no, no. And I was like,

Starting point is 01:14:30 oh, what did he do? Yeah, that is typically what we talk to her about. What's the Jerry Jones crossover? But like, it sort of like bubbled back up whenever he got in trouble. There was a fan favorite.

Starting point is 01:14:43 Dan, have you ever heard of this show? Yes. I know it was a huge Netflix. Dan, have you ever heard of this show? Yes. I know it was a huge Netflix thing and just never, it was on my list and I never did it. Fair enough. I mean, you know, it's, just so people who are listening that don't know, I can tell you that it's a docuseries.

Starting point is 01:14:59 You know, so it's based on the real life Corsicana cheer team at Navarro Junior College. And they are, you know, total beasts in the cheer division. Now, when a lot of people think cheer, they think about like rah-rah, you know, like maybe the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders or they think like high school cheerleaders. But this is like Cirque du Soleil kind of stuff. Yeah. You know, it's really intense.

Starting point is 01:15:23 I don't know if either of you have ever gotten a chance to see. They used to run it on like ESPN2. Oh, okay. Like they would. The Daytona competitions? It just basically looks like gymnastics. But it looks like. It's incredibly intense team.

Starting point is 01:15:37 But it's team gymnastics. Yeah. And it's also done vertically. Yeah. As opposed to horizontally on a mat. That's true. You know, so it it's and it has really sort of like incredibly like gravity defying formations so it's pretty dazzling to watch i

Starting point is 01:15:53 have to say i didn't care about it at all when i watched cheer um but then i got really sucked in and not only is it is the sport itself dazzling but um but the human stories that it the that greg whiteley is the name of the guy he also did last chance you do you all know that show of course yeah okay so he's he's a great filmmaker and he did this and you know you get those personal stories of hard luck dramas right so all the kids that have come up in poverty or parents died or whatever there was this one fan favorite named Jerry Harris. Everybody loved him. I mean, he's just adorable.

Starting point is 01:16:27 They were on Ellen DeGeneres and Ellen was like, you know, Ellen hired him to work the red carpet at the Oscars. So he's like talking to Brad Pitt and stuff. And then it comes out that there's an FBI probe into him because he had a correspondence with 13 year old boys that was inappropriate he was 19 at the time and he you know to make a long story short he he goes from fan favorite to basically like internet's whipping boy and big time villain really fast and then he's serving 12 years in federal prison which is not even this is jerry this is jerry and i didn't even get have chance have time to like get into this story but i think there's like um by the way this is something that got cut out of the final the 13 year old that filed suit against him um is now 19 and was

Starting point is 01:17:19 recently put on the ineligible list because he was having an inappropriate course correspondent with a kid under age it's the hurt people hurt people dan yeah that's a tale as old as time right yeah yeah so uh that's the big scandal that people know about cheer but there have been many many other scandals that have trailed the team for all these years. I think it came out in, what, 2020? 2020, is that when the pandemic hit? Yeah. Yeah, end of 2019. And the scandals have just been like popping up again and again and again.

Starting point is 01:17:56 Excuse me. And I started to do a story about the coach, Monica Aldama, a year and a half ago. And the idea was to do a story after the scandal. Monica Aldama, a year and a half ago. And the idea was like to do a story after the scandal. Like, OK, the show's done. Scandals are over. Let's just sit down.

Starting point is 01:18:11 Who are you? What did you learn? But the scandals kept going. And she got hit by a really big civil suit from a former student that was alleging basically like a culture of cover up of sexual assault sexual assault cover-up at the junior college. And then, you know, also it entailed this one incident that had happened back in 2021. So when that happened, Monica just basically took a big public tumble. And she was also banned temporarily from her sport by the governing body, USA Cheer. And why this whole thing is interesting to me i mean you guys have been covering sports

Starting point is 01:18:47 during the me too era me too and sports have gone really hand in hand in many ways i know you haven't done a ton of those stories but i know you've talked about baylor i know you've talked about who else sandusky i mean jerry for one well jesus i mean jerry never got me too'd, but. Yeah, I mean, I feel like it's in that same old you, yeah. Well, that's true, yeah. No, you're right, you're right. He's got. Tyron Smith. He's got.

Starting point is 01:19:12 Testified for him, but he was grabbing some butt or something. That's right, that's right, that's right. A couple of fun babies. That's right, that's right. But, you know, there have been. The Mavs, maybe. Well, the Mavs. Yeah, that's why St. Marshall is there.

Starting point is 01:19:26 Right? Because they push out... No, it's because she is the most qualified... Okay. ...executive that actually didn't have a job at the time and had never heard of Mark Cuban. She actually said that. What was the guy's name?

Starting point is 01:19:41 Tessa? Pants DJ? Tessa Erdway or something like that? Terdima Usari. Oh, Terdima Usari. What a name. Yeah, it's pretty solid. That's a power name. Yeah, it is.

Starting point is 01:19:55 So anyway, he gets pushed out. Yeah, Mavs had a whole thing. And then, oh, and remember the cheerleaders, the Mavs cheerleaders started to cover up. Yes, and we solved it. We solved it. We solved it. No more sexual assault.

Starting point is 01:20:09 And racism and sexual assault. That's right. You guys did it. But what was interesting- Chalk another one up for the white guys. You're welcome. Well, what was interesting to me was that I had been watching several of these stories over the years and been concerned about what I would call to be a little bit like wonky, like, you know, an abdication of due process or, you know, they're just people were rushing to judgment.

Starting point is 01:20:32 And it was it was in many ways, I thought, like morally catastrophic for the culture, you know, that that we were in this, you know, there was a wildfire situation. you know that that we were in this you know there was a wildfire situation and in this case in particular i happened to be working on the story with monica i thought she was going to call off the story i mean look if if if somebody were profiling me and even a baseless allegation was was thrown against me i'd be like yeah i'm not going to talk to the journalist anymore i think i'm done um but uh she called me and said, I'm meeting with my legal counsel. Do you want to come? And I was like, yes. Because you never get that kind of access.

Starting point is 01:21:10 And so anyway, this story details her fight through that to kind of make it through the public shaming of it, which was quite intense. The professional ramifications, which were also intense. And by the way, she got dropped from the lawsuit pretty quickly after it hit. You know, I think this is something that lawyers often do. They put names on the lawsuit to kind of get the media attention, and they know they're going to get knocked off. And of course, you know, so one of the things that this story is following is media malpractice, which is essentially an entire media that is

Starting point is 01:21:45 is organized around the idea of the hit piece and the the it bleeds it leads in the worst news and then once it gets corrected it's like oh we've moved on so once she gets you know dropped from the lawsuit which happens like within weeks of it hitting like there's no follow-ups in us weekly and people magazine i think i think tmz of all places did you know did that uh had a follow-up on that but even if they do it's usually not the front page it doesn't matter yeah and also people aren't paying attention to it it's like they really just want that first blast of outrage that blast of um we are really in a moment where we love tearing people down and and it's a little bit weird because it's like they loved building her up like watching her she was on dancing with the stars um you know she had her own memoir it was like oh we love her Reese Witherspoon was

Starting point is 01:22:41 was tweeting about her oh I just oh love love. And then all of a sudden there's, you know, at some point there's some critical juncture where it turns and then it's just tear down, tear down. We hate her. We hate her. She's evil. You know, and you could go even on the fan page on Reddit, which is 16,000 people that came there because they love the show, like unanimously dogging her. Based what based on what i mean you know and so third-hand information at best it was always and and you know it's always people coming in and you know lawyer here um i i i think that this or you know i heard that so and so when they you know so and then you have a couple of different confounding details, like there's a couple of former cheerleaders that were kind of wilding out on Instagram and Instagram Live. And Ladarius Marshall is his name, and he's extremely charismatic, but unstable.

Starting point is 01:23:40 And it's known. It's like part of the story that he's unstable. I mean, he told people on TikTok he was going to kill himself once you know that's the kind of thing we're dealing with but he would go on on the socials and be like um you know y'all don't know what's going on back there there they physically and emotionally abused me and you know so he's making allegations uh so all of this builds up into basically like a massive public shaming. And the story walks you through that time and kind of unwinds those allegations, gives you insight into what happened, which ones of them had merit and which ones of them were baseless. The civil suit, ultimately everybody's been dropped.

Starting point is 01:24:19 Well, by the way, the guy involved, she accused a guy that had come over from Italy like a month before. She accused him of sexual assault. He says that it's consensual. Now, we all know these are he said, she saids. But by the way, there were two people in the room. So this is a very unusual situation. Two other people in the room because it was a college dorm. unusual situation to other people in the room because it was a college dorm and um so they had witnesses which is you almost never have and the witnesses were like um no you never screamed like

Starting point is 01:24:53 the civil filing says she screamed and there was all it's like we we were in there um but anyway he just sued for defamation he sued her and he sued usa Cheer, which is a governing body. And there might be more. There might be more lawsuits to come. So this story is about viral fame and its backlash. And it's, you know, also about a culture that has gotten really horny for destroying people and their reputations. When you say that, I always wonder about that because we always say, A, we live in a moment now that's doing this or this. Or sometimes, though, it's like, hey, that's always been going on,

Starting point is 01:25:39 but we can now just see it more. Sure. You know, now that we're so, you know, we all have phones and cameras and whatever. Like, do you feel like, has this always been a thing? Yeah. But it's just more prevalent because of social media? I think we always did it with celebrities. I think what's changed is that the notion of celebrity has expanded so dramatically. There you go. Everybody can be a celebrity. And so, you know, if you're getting paid tons of money and you live in beverly hills you know build a high hedge and don't read the tabloids but also but now but now

Starting point is 01:26:13 you know monica didn't get paid for this by the way like she didn't get paid for that show like oh i was gonna ask that no yeah it's kind of like our banker, right? Oh, who did a documentary. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know that it's all that financially profitable for you. Yeah, I guess the exposure and the fact that you get semi-famous and then maybe you can springboard that into something. Perhaps you get the validation of like, I got to tell my story. Well, in the case of Cheer, they had been quite minimized.

Starting point is 01:26:47 And, you know, nobody really knew what they were doing. You know, I guess they were on ESPN2. Varsity, this is also a story about Varsity Brands, which was originated in Dallas. Their basic monopoly over the industry. So normally if you watch Cheer, you have to pay for a streaming app and watch it that way. Even though it's a multimillion dollar industry, it's actually quite dazzling. As girl dads, I know you don't like those terms. But as girl dads, I think this is the kind of thing that like, this is the kind of sports that women really, really love.

Starting point is 01:27:21 Women love watching this. And in fact, I think guys like watching it too, but they're not exposed to it. So Monica's idea was that this could be an education for people and just that they're legitimate. Because if you want to denigrate an athlete, call them a cheerleader. But if you see them, and these are tiny girls, you don't see them other places in sports. Most girls in the WNBA or in rowing or volleyball or whatever, they're like big women. These are tiny teacup five foot like dynamos. And the things that they do and their bodies are ripped. I mean, I went to a practice once and it was just like those girls, their core is like chiseled marble, you know?

Starting point is 01:28:09 When you say that she felt good about letting you continue to follow her. I don't know if she felt good about it. Well, she let you. She let me. And probably because she felt good about the fact that, hey, a lot of this is bulsh that they're throwing at me. I think she was very, very eager. I mean, she was just transparent. She wanted to be heard. She never got a hearing at USA Cheer before they banned her. Right. It's just they knew the

Starting point is 01:28:39 wind was blowing this way. Yeah. But you said some accusations did have merit. Like, what did you find that? Well, I mean, you know, for instance, the Jerry Harris situation is actually did happen, you know. But it wasn't her doing. No, no. It's just you sometimes happen to have a guy.

Starting point is 01:28:58 Exactly. And, you know, there was a fair bit of drinking and pot smoking on the team. That's something that is alleged in the civil filing. But it's a college, you guys. Yeah, yeah. A mountain of you remember going to college. And Monica is so strict. Yes, college is when we would do that stuff.

Starting point is 01:29:18 Good. It was good. She kicks them off the team if they have any alcohol whatsoever. Yeah. I told her once, I was like, that is way too strict. And she was like, well, I'm sorry, they're leaders at the school. Like they, like, can you imagine if football teams were this strict? Can you imagine? And they should be.

Starting point is 01:29:38 You know why? Because Monica's exactly right. You are leaders, you're elite athletes. You should not be drinking. But the opposite is true in men's sports for the most part, from my understanding. For sure. Yeah. All right. So pick up Texas Monthly is what you're saying? If you want to. Oh, okay. If you want to. You're almost as bad as he is. It's $10. I'm trying to help you promote. It's $10. Oh, okay. So you think that's too much. I would go to it online, personally.

Starting point is 01:30:07 Okay. Yeah. Good God. I don't get kicked back. This is the honesty that you get with Sarah Heffler. I'm a straight shooter. That's right. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:30:18 And I think it's called What Cheer Led To. How viral fame, I don't know. Upended Monica. Monica Aldama's life. There you go. I think. Thank you. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:30:32 I think just off the top of my head, that's what I was going to say as well. As we are looking at it on the screen. I feel like there wasn't enough about rugby in that. He was here before you. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah. Good, thank God. I really felt like I ate up that segment. He's here before you. Oh, good. Good, thank God. Really felt like I ate up that segment.

Starting point is 01:30:48 He's here to pimp rugby. I don't think I would be good at it. You don't think you would be good at rugby? I think I'm too little. You'd be great. Oh, well then great, let's go. Well, you said cheerleaders are little. He might have just called you

Starting point is 01:31:02 big. There are competitive women's sides as well. You can't have large chest areas if you are a cheerleader is what you're saying? It would not be a good idea. Couldn't get me out of it. Tends to not be the case. That's a really interesting thing about the difference between the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders and sort of gymnastic cheerleaders.

Starting point is 01:31:24 So Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders are unique in that they want you to have a really athletic frame, but big boobs. That's why they get such a hard time for being sort of Barbie, because it's very difficult to have both of those. Yeah, I'm always giving them a hard time. I know. I know. Girl, dad.

Starting point is 01:31:41 You guys aren't really cheerleaders, yeah. Yeah, but you're always like, Girl dad You guys aren't really cheerleaders Yeah Yeah But You're always like Get off the field Get back to my game Isn't that what you say? I am actually I have long been opposed

Starting point is 01:31:54 To over sexualization Yeah Just because I am there to watch a game It's confusing It's like There are times When I am there

Starting point is 01:32:04 For ladies You know Like let's say Your porn site That you used to be able To get in Texas to watch a game. It's confusing. It's like... There are times when I am there for ladies. You know, like, let's say your porn site that you used to be able to get in Texas. Son of a bitch. Correct?

Starting point is 01:32:10 Can you still not get it? Not sure. Haven't been there lately, but maybe Jake is indicating you still can't get it. Yeah, my wife was out of town this week.

Starting point is 01:32:19 That is ridiculous. You should have picked him up an old Playboy at the... I was reminded. Oh, I almost got you guys an old Playboy. Yeah. You could always use one of those.

Starting point is 01:32:28 You need a community... All right, next time. The community hustler we used to keep in our shared bathroom. Hustlers gross. Old-fashioned Playboys are beautiful. Yes. Hustler gross. Disgusting.

Starting point is 01:32:38 Yes. I have... I do have one. I have the Enron Playboy. Ah, the Ladies of Enron. Ladies of Enron. Yeah, it is a great one. You know the Ladies of Enron. Ladies of Enron. Yeah, it is a girl. You know what? One of the biggest sellers of all time.

Starting point is 01:32:53 Oh, I was going to say, is the girls of the... Hooters. No. That's a good one. It was college. Was it called NCAA? That's correct, yes. It was the Big Ten. The Big Ten issue. Girls of the Big Ten. Girls of the Big Ten, 77, I issue. Girls of the Big Ten. Girls of the Big Ten. 77,

Starting point is 01:33:06 I think. Yeah, that sounds awful. It's gonna be great. But I've been against it because here's my thing, Sarah. That sounds terrible. So here I am watching football. You are so wrong about things sometimes. The Big Ten, Dan.

Starting point is 01:33:21 It seems like you would want to pick somewhere different than Iowa. I might go Pac-10. I might go pack 10. Right. First of all- I might go literally anywhere else. Yeah. First of all, this is all pre-plastic surgery.

Starting point is 01:33:33 So I want you to think about the fact that these girls are corn-fed. Corn-fed, yes. Right. So I want- Childbearing. Which I am 100% not against. Yes. So just remember, we are pre-implant.

Starting point is 01:33:46 So this is special. Okay. And then I want you to think about how much you could learn from a woman's real body. That's really strangely deep. Yeah. I'm ready to learn. Where do I sign up? I'm a big fan of sports.

Starting point is 01:34:09 I know. And I'm a big fan of sex. You know me for five minutes, you're like that. But here's the thing, yes. If I'm watching a game, for some reason, the powers that be think, oh my gosh, he's not happy with just that sports. He likes it. This is why sex is better than sports.

Starting point is 01:34:28 But I got to add a little sex. I'm going to sprinkle that in there. Now, if I'm watching, let's say, an adult film, and then all of a sudden you see a – News, a news report. Yeah, an Emmett Smith 88-yard touchdown run in the middle of it. Yeah. You don't like that.

Starting point is 01:34:44 Yeah. Unless it's timed just right yeah you time that out you're like oh yes oh yes this makes sense to me it makes a lot of sense to me but but dan think about it this way the cheerleaders were there no matter what so originally they were there in like pleated skirts and button downs and all of a sudden the girls that are in this outfit that is just like not interesting to you are suddenly like wearing these you know really revealing costs like that would be interesting are you just trying to convince me that i want to like cheerleading no i should really be no i'm telling you that if you were there in the 70s you might think

Starting point is 01:35:20 differently about it i'm telling you that oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I understand. And also because we live in such a sexualized culture now. I really do. It's obnoxious to me, too. Like, when I'm, sometimes when I'm driving down the highway and there's, like, some, you know, like, Tiger Cabaret or whatever, you know, like, those billboards? I'm like, kids come along this. As it were.

Starting point is 01:35:43 Yeah, I think it's weird how many, like, kids come along this. As it were. Yeah, I think it's weird how many, like, what do you call places where you buy dildos? Oh, sex shop. Adult bookstore. Adult book. I think it's weird how many. Do they say? No, I mean adult book. I think it's weird how prevalent those billboards are.

Starting point is 01:36:02 I know. I know. And I think it's because I'm now getting to the age where sometimes I have to explain things to Nora. Right. What's that? What's XXX? Yeah. What does a sign mean? There's one called Sarah's Secret.

Starting point is 01:36:16 I've been. Have you really? I have. What is it like? What's Sarah's Secret? I mean, it's just a place. You can't tell. You're not allowed to tell. San Antonio. Victoria's Secret. Where do you think you got it? it like what's their secret i mean it's just a place you can't tell you can't exactly san antonio victoria's secret what do you think you got the the famous campground gag ball i have to give it i bought that online i have to give it to the adult entertainment people because like you would think everyone would just want to get that online like there's nobody that wants to go to a like

Starting point is 01:36:42 actual physical it's a weird experience and they they're huge. They're always huge. They are quite large. They have way too much square footage. They have way too much square footage. People that work there too. Is condom sense still around? It's time to switch gears now.

Starting point is 01:36:59 We have news and today in history coming up, but we also have Bit, right? Yeah, can I do a quick one? Of course. Ladies and gentlemen, Blake Jones. All right. Thank you.

Starting point is 01:37:11 Let's just sit back and think about what Blake Jones brings to the table. We've got some videos, video man. I have, okay, we talked about somehow the Ohio State commencement came across your timeline. I got this car salesman from Louisiana who is making waves on Instagram. Okay. And the way that he tries to sell his cars are very humorous to me. And this just kind of reminded me of some of the stuff you've been playing from your group chat.

Starting point is 01:37:40 This feels very in that vein. So I just wanted to play a couple of his videos and just kind of see what you guys think so just fire number one you do not need to add horsepower to your car so that way you can go faster down shut up your mom's my girlfriend hey this is horsepower this is a 23 scat pack come holler okay okay awesome he'll watch tiktok videos and then somehow relate that to a car he's trying to sell. All right, let's fire number two. Pick me up so we can go on a movie date. And I spent like an hour and a half getting ready.

Starting point is 01:38:11 Well, you look like shit. We got this $23 charger. Next time, JCPenney, $5.99 shirts. Get it. Okay. Okay. Pretty good bit. Apparently he's like a really, really good car salesman. We need to steal some of these things to get people to subscribe. Okay. Okay. Pretty good bit. Apparently he's like a really, really good car salesman.

Starting point is 01:38:26 We need to steal some of these things to get people to subscribe. Okay. Number three, Video Man. Feels so nice when you and I are working on the night. Bro, Grindr is rocking these days. Working on the night. Anyway, hey, we got a 25-r sst come get it where's this guy louisiana okay um not sure where but he's just very louisiana and when are we booking him i love it on the show we have two

Starting point is 01:38:58 more go ahead y'all know what the best thing you can do for your man after a long day of working? You, your sister, and a butt plug. Hey, we got a 2013 Camaro for $9,000. Come holler and bring your sister too. Bring the shit. This guy rules. Jeez. Last one. I really don't know what's gotten into me recently.

Starting point is 01:39:19 Not nutrition. Hey, we got a 24 Willys. Just came in. Come holla. Woo! Yeah, I've been seeing videos of that guy. I just wanted to share. That is a good bit.

Starting point is 01:39:31 Really funny. What is the copyright situation with something like that? Like if you put it out on Instagram, on your own Instagram, it's probably... Fair game. Right? Public. Yeah, and I think you can remix TikToks. I think that's the verbiage they use,

Starting point is 01:39:47 but yeah, he'll just, I mean, people do reaction videos all the time. I know, right? There's just no copyright for anything. No, I mean, yeah, if you put it on TikTok or Instagram, I think it's free reign. Do you want to play our other videos, which also it's kind of news,

Starting point is 01:40:02 but this is pre-news. You're familiar with the other videos? I am, yeah. The guys from Washington Media? Let's just do News News. Oh. For now. They promoted it, though.

Starting point is 01:40:18 We don't want to promote it? Yeah, we can. Video man slaved over a hot inco. Okay, fine. Okay. Can we call this pre-news? Sure. Okay.

Starting point is 01:40:27 Pre-news. Oh, that sounds dirty. Yeah. Pre-news. That's what we're all about, Sarah. Pre-me news. Yeah. So what we have, this is play theirs first, correct?

Starting point is 01:40:39 Or do we play ours first? You can play theirs first. I don't have theirs yet. Oh, all right. Well, then we'll play ours first. Let's play ours. Thank you for joining us here today, members of the media, family, friends,

Starting point is 01:40:52 the dirty public. For the Dumb Zone is set to announce their commitment to a podcast network. We don't even really know what that means, but we do know that after much soul-searching

Starting point is 01:41:08 and consultation with our spiritual advisors, we are prepared to commit to a podcast network. Dan, would you like to select one of these hats? Oh, my God. Ah! No. Hmm. No.

Starting point is 01:41:21 Oh, not that one. Do we still have that browser's hat? We actually need a drumroll. And we need a place. What does this hat say? This hat says washed. Washed media. Washed media.

Starting point is 01:41:39 That's right. From now on, the dumb zone will be under the washed media. What are you doing? Oh, that's a Trump thing. Rock him, sock him. It is kind of a Trump thing. All wash media network platforms, whatever that means. There you go.

Starting point is 01:41:51 I believe it wasn't a Trump thing. It was more of a Frank the Tank. Oh, okay. Because Bill Maher has been playing this thing where Trump goes like this. He does do that. Because he looks like he's jacking two guys off. And so he plays it on every single show to basically embarrass Trump. Wow.

Starting point is 01:42:08 Yeah. So I'm not a hat guy. We're with a podcast network. No, you're not. That's because you have such beautiful, luscious hair. I don't think that works. And he will never go bald. You've claimed that.

Starting point is 01:42:19 Yeah, I don't think I'm going to go bald. Well, Jake, can I say something? As a woman, you need a dark hat. A dark hat. Yeah, the white hat doesn't look right on you. Okay. Yeah, I don't like white hats on anyone, I think. I don't know who looks good in white hats, I'll be honest.

Starting point is 01:42:34 Do you know whenever you go do TV, they tell you your color palette? Yeah. You wear that? Rob knows all about color palettes. He was explaining that. Adam Roma, I was in this studio with him yesterday, and he was explaining how these lights. I don't know all this shit that I have zero idea.

Starting point is 01:42:53 Everything Rob does, I have zero idea how he does it. But they'll tell you a panel of eight colors that work best for you. Yeah. Does Jake have different color light than I do oh no okay he doesn't know that much um can i say something about that commercial which i really liked sure yeah it's yeah i think you guys are so cute when you try to act oh it is adorable thanks and blake was a natural blake is great yeah that absolutely feels like a shot. Like, it was not.

Starting point is 01:43:27 It was just observation. She said try. You didn't say when you act. I said so cute. I said so cute. No. So cute is not a good thing to call a guy. Hot.

Starting point is 01:43:36 No. Hot. Yeah, there you go. Hot. You guys are so manly. Yeah, play it. Wait, we can't play the whole Open for Business? This is five minutes long.

Starting point is 01:43:46 Oh, I thought he was playing the washed one. No, no, no. This thing's five minutes. You're good. I don't think we should play a five-minute thing for her right now. It's the news? It's okay. Yeah, it's the news.

Starting point is 01:43:58 Oh, you don't have the washed thing? Is this your commercial? I don't... What'd you think of it? It's really good. Thank you. So we're joining Washed Media. It's like a...

Starting point is 01:44:07 It's an internet... It's a podcast company based out of Austin. Good friends of ours. And they have announced... They announced it today on Twitter. Yeah. Well, I don't... What does that mean?

Starting point is 01:44:18 So... Go ahead. It basically means that we're going to appear on their shows, they're going to appear on our shows, and hopefully we can sell some heads. Who are they? A bunch of swinging Ds. A bunch of swinging Ds. Oh, jeez.

Starting point is 01:44:34 Ever heard of Joe Rogan? Good lord. Joe Rogan-ish. Kind of like that. Anyways, Richland Royal slash Rebel Rasheed Rice not chilling out, Dan. What does that mean? It means that we had the situation just a couple weeks ago where he was driving 119 miles an hour on the freeway on 75 in a rented vehicle. And now officers were dispatched for reports of an assault

Starting point is 01:45:06 at 2.30 in the morning on Monday to a place called Lit Lounge Nightclub over a physical assault. So he did not sit out the next couple of plays. He did not sit out the next couple of plays. That would get you kicked off Coach Monica's team. Maybe not the first time.

Starting point is 01:45:32 She's a zero tolerance kind of lady. This is a crazy story. I hate this street racing stuff. I see it and it's so uncomfortable. It's really scary. And I hate this. And I hate that this guy was like oh i got busted i'm gonna keep rolling yeah who is this guy so he actually went to the same high school

Starting point is 01:45:52 that i went to he grew up in uh in north richland hills and he played at smu and he's had like a decent start to his nfl career he's on the Chiefs, right? He is on the Chiefs. But obviously he still lives here. Correct. And is he going out and running? His running buddies, are they other sports stars? It does not appear to be. Well, one of them was like an SMU teammate, right? One of the people that was in the car was an SMU teammate

Starting point is 01:46:23 in the initial incident. But I don't think it's like, you know, big time. No, he's not hanging out with Tim Hardaway Jr. No, he's got the fellas with him from hometown. Is this the cultural fallout of Too Fast, Too Furious? Or is it the other way around? Yeah, was it already happening? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:46:44 Did art imitate life? Also, that movie came out like 25 years ago, Sarah. Too Fast, Too Furious? Yeah, there have been like 10 of them. They probably had one last year. It was nine movies ago. I'm talking about the chain, Jake. I'm talking about the franchise.

Starting point is 01:46:59 I'm talking about the way of life. Okay. Well, we just call that fast. Yeah. I just feel like in the last like since the pandemic people are just incredibly bored and they it was a big thing like pandemic yeah time definitely deep bellum yeah oh yeah and and uh like where we used to uh where we used to work like right in front of the aec yeah every friday and and Saturday and even Sunday night it would just be like a crazy amount of people just peeling out donuts. Yeah I'd take my Ford Explorer there. Yeah. It

Starting point is 01:47:33 was great. Go nuts. And you were just trying to leave after mass postgame right? That was actually street takeovers. Typically the case yeah. Which was super uncomfortable because there's like a ton of pedestrians out there uh do we know his blood alcohol content from that drive um i don't well the sun was still up we can't find out they can't find out because they ran off exactly i was gonna say like we don't know because he abandoned the vehicles all six they didn't get that's why i'll bet you three days later right yeah that's why he ran he turned himself in three or four days later. But it was like broad daylight. It was at 630.

Starting point is 01:48:10 Yeah, I guess maybe. Get the breathalyzer at home. Maybe. I don't know. But in this case, like he assaulted a photographer. His career is very much hanging in the balance. I do love the thought of you getting involved in a street takeover, because that's

Starting point is 01:48:28 so not your element. No, it's not. I don't know if you can do donuts going 15. Yeah, but imagine if you were driving in the car with Nora, and that was happening. It's like not cool. Ah, let kids have fun.

Starting point is 01:48:44 Yeah. Do you mean Nora? Are you a narc? Do you mean, yes? They bought their ticket. I mean, I think it's really creepy. I think it's illegal. She is a narc.

Starting point is 01:48:58 I know. So it's illegal? Yeah. That's, what do they call it? Rosa Parks. What is she? Civil disobedience. There you go.

Starting point is 01:49:07 There you go. So, yeah, this is a really profound act of protest. Right. I'm sure they're freeing Palestine. Right. It's all about one of them amendments that guarantees me the right. Can I be clear? To ride my hot rod.

Starting point is 01:49:21 You guys are pro street racing. I'm a guy with Hot Rod magazine. Baby, there's nothing illegal about that. That is right. That is 100% legal. I like you calling me baby, though. Appreciate that. You're welcome.

Starting point is 01:49:36 A quote from this news story. Next story here. Quote, he is the greatest world leader. That would be Steven Seagal speaking of Vladimir Putin. Vladimir Putin will face or excuse me, Steven Seagal will face sanctions from the European Union after attending the inauguration for Vladimir Putin in Moscow. What does that mean? The only reason I'm telling you is for you to ask me what does that

Starting point is 01:50:04 mean? Wait till the San Antonio City Council gets to put their stamp of disapproval on this. We're not going to show under siege. Straight to DVDs. Above the law. But he doesn't live there. The train on the way to Amsterdam. What does that even mean? You can't see that movie.

Starting point is 01:50:24 Is that what he looks like now? Whoa. He's a puffy guy. He's got kind of like paint on hair. Does he dye that? Hair for men. No, Blake, that's natural.

Starting point is 01:50:39 Where does he live? For a little while, I know he was living in Louisiana because he was like a uh like an honorary deputy stop it yeah yeah he was he was like a cop i would see that on talk soup oh wow hal sparks no how sparks did it at first. And then it was, what's his name, from Community. Greg Kinnear first did it. First did it? You're right. I'm a big soup fan.

Starting point is 01:51:10 Okay. Don't be messing with me. I won't. But I'm right about Houseparks. You've entered the dojo. Jeez, this is like talking about Noam Chomsky with this one. What? Anyways, I just think it's hilarious the idea that the EU, as feckless as they are and as toothless as they are,

Starting point is 01:51:29 they're like, we're going to sanction Steven Seagal. He's just like, okay. That's got to be actually great for, I don't know what it means to be in the news, but for him, somebody's going to rent a movie. Rentals go up 5%. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. We got one more here for you.

Starting point is 01:51:49 A company used to train dogs to search DFW schools say they found up to 30 guns on local campuses this year. Do you think that there was ever a gun at your school? Well, I didn't go to school in Texas, as you know. Yeah, but like Midwest. It brings the chances down a little bit. BB guns or something, or like hunting rifles.

Starting point is 01:52:16 I mean, speaking of a big dildo, I remember Buddy brought... It wasn't. Somebody was. Oh, I was thinking of one. Does that count? It's been a minute, though. Oh, maybe it's what I'm sitting on. The point is... Is it the flared base? It's a buddy brought one that he said was his mom's.

Starting point is 01:52:34 And it could shoot? Wait, are we talking about the dildo? I'm going to hope it was his mom's. Yeah, well... Because otherwise, like... This is stepmom's? Yeah. Where else would you get it?

Starting point is 01:52:46 I don't know. Was it a dildo or was it a vibrator? It was a... You don't learn that those are different until you're way later. Right, a big rubber dildo. Yeah. I think. I don't remember.

Starting point is 01:52:57 It looked like a dick. It looked like a wiener, yeah. Okay. That's a dildo. It tasted way different. Yes. He's killing her. Okay. That's a dildo. It tasted way different. Yes. That's ridiculous. He's killing her.

Starting point is 01:53:13 Did you have a gun at school? Definitely. I mean, I didn't. No, I'm not gun guy. Didn't you grow up in a white settlement? No. Of course, it was before, you know. Columbine and stuff.ine but but so that's

Starting point is 01:53:27 not even really what i mean we just had tornado drills yeah we didn't have active shooter nuclear fallout yeah yeah we had nuclear i'm not mike reiner i feel like that was still going on like in the 80s no i don't recall a nuclear fallout drill, but maybe there could have been. Cold War. Yeah. And the day after and all that. Yeah, yeah. I just assumed. We had tornado drills. Oh yeah, for sure. I don't recall a nuclear drill though. That's more 60s.

Starting point is 01:53:56 I recall my mom telling me about them. Yeah. 50s and 60s, the Cold War stuff. And then by the 70s, well, where did you grow up? Me? Ohio. Cleveland. So like where did you grow up? Me? Ohio, Cleveland. So, like, did you have? Go Tribe.

Starting point is 01:54:10 Okay. He changed his side, so I can't. Go Washed. What's your natural disaster in Ohio, other than Ohio itself? The economy. Yeah. The river catching on fire. The river was on fire. Probably tornadoes.

Starting point is 01:54:24 I remember going down and hiding under the workbench a few times Because of tornado warnings That's why you wanted one? That's why I wanted a workbench You know one of my dreams growing up was to have a workbench I wanted to be six foot tall I wanted to have a workbench And I wanted to have a wood burning fireplace

Starting point is 01:54:41 I just came up here With your Christmas present I've got all those three things. But do you have them here? Like in the world or just in this studio? Studio. That'd be great if we had a fireplace. Yeah. I'm going to buy one at Timu and just

Starting point is 01:54:56 drape it right back there. It'll just be a picture of it. Well, we could, of course, yeah. We could put the big screen because now they have those on YouTube, right? Just the fire going the whole time. That'd be really nice, actually. What do you guys think about, like, are you a YouTube TV user? Oh, I accidentally bought it once.

Starting point is 01:55:14 It was very expensive. Like, when they show you, like, three seconds of peaceful material? Yeah, I like that. Moment of zen. Yeah. Where? Like, when they're rejoining. Except the sound is way too loud. It's way like that. Moment of zen. Yeah. Where? Like when they're rejoining. Except the sound is way too loud.

Starting point is 01:55:27 It's way too loud. Especially the birds. So like they have like a little bit of a gap with the spot set, right? And they will like show you a little bit of peace. And it can be like the woods or like a lake. And sometimes it's just like a fire. Okay, so it's like their thing that's always running if they're not timing the break, right?

Starting point is 01:55:48 They do this on just regular YouTube, too. They do? They do, because, yeah. And by the way, I didn't realize my YouTube is so loud. Yes. I didn't realize that was like a site-wide problem. What are we going to do? Anyways, they found 30.

Starting point is 01:56:03 These dogs found 30 guns. We could protest. Maybe. How does a dog find a gun? You want to block traffic? Is there a gunpowder smell? Gunpowder? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:56:15 I'm back on the protest. It's the same thing as when they dust your hands at the airport to find residue. What if it's a gun that's never been fired? It has gunpowder in it. So even it can smell that? Yes. Alright. Am I crazy? How about them dogs, huh? They're great. Learn something new every day.

Starting point is 01:56:33 Yeah. Alright, there's your news. I have a question. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, Sarah. Is CondomScent still around? Yes. I think so. I think so. I think so. I bought a fake ID there once.

Starting point is 01:56:49 So you remember, guys, when we did pre-news? Yeah. And it was us attempting to act, as I've been told now. Yeah, being very cute. And we were announcing that we are now under the umbrella of Washed Media. And they will be selling advertising for the program, things like that. And we got a hat out of it, too. Sure.

Starting point is 01:57:18 But we also made a video. And Washed declined to use our video for the promotion and there is a reason but uh we'll just let you watch the video and then try to figure that out but we made a video yesterday because we knew we're all announcing this and it's going to be a happy family and we were we're together with wash so here's this is exciting here's uh or wait we i'm sorry we made that video that we already showed you sorry my head My head's out. Oh, I thought it was about to happen. They also made a video. I mixed my whole everything up in my whole brain.

Starting point is 01:57:51 That's OK. So we made a video. We showed that to you in pre news. Now we're excited. It was good. Now we're in post news. Yeah. We're washed.

Starting point is 01:57:59 The guys in Austin. The swing and dee. Yeah. They made a video. Let's get a vape. The swing and deez. They made a video. Let's call them. Let's call them. J-Man. What's up, buddy?

Starting point is 01:58:14 Hey, little buddy. It's Dave. Watch media. Yeah, coach. You ready to talk into a microphone for money? I'm thrilled. Hey, congrats, buddy. We're all stoked. We're excited. Oh, no. It's an honor. You think making money is dumb I don't

Starting point is 01:58:31 You hard right now We're going to be down there soon You ready to come down here And record a podcast And maybe go eat a steak with me I'm fired up Yeah I'm ready to work Hey man

Starting point is 01:58:44 Don't cry. I love you. All right? That was dumb. Dumb Zone. The Dumb Zone. Coming to Washed Media. Baby.

Starting point is 01:58:55 What are you doing in here, man? You remember that pod, The Dumb Zone? No. Not really. Well, we signed them. They're at Washed Media. They're in the network. What's their content?

Starting point is 01:59:07 What do they talk about? They used to be on the radio. They do Dallas sports? They do a little bit of that, but it's much more than that. They do pop culture. I'm fine if it's not just three more white dudes. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:59:29 It is. it's basically i think you're gonna i already signed the company come in here like no no no they're gonna still they're out of uh we don't have room for them in the bullpen up around dallas way right that dump that dumb zone thing is a dumb deal what's that the dumb zone but we're gonna sell their you're gonna sell dumb zone. But we're going to sell their, you're going to sell their ads. Right. So we're going to help them make money. Yeah. Yup. What's the split looking like? Hard to say. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:59:49 We didn't really hash that out. We're just going to hopefully lay a goal with it. Does Rainy know about this? Is he the producer for that? I don't really, I don't really talk to him. It doesn't matter. Rainy knows. Can we get these guys benefits?

Starting point is 01:59:59 No, no, no, no, no. They're not employees. That's very clear in the ad. Can I find it on the internet here from Austin? Yeah, you can find almost anything on the internet. Dumb Zone. Wash Media. Alright, well, yeah, so that's what I was doing, man.

Starting point is 02:00:12 That's cool. When's their first episode? You want to go to Schlossky's? Yep. Alright, let's get a tray. Alright, there you go. We're with Wash Media. Now, the reason the video we showed a few minutes ago, we had a bunch of hats laid out on the table, you know, in the form of this is what, Sarah, what high school kids will do to announce what college they're going to go to.

Starting point is 02:00:40 You're familiar with that? Yeah. So all the possible places. And what were the hats? CNN and Infowars and Newsmax. Cumulus. Cumulus. I believe was one of those hats. Wow. Sure. Bold. Brazzers. Brazzers, yeah.

Starting point is 02:00:56 But I guess they actually didn't. Subway. Subway. That's funny. They actually didn't use our video and I think because of the other hat that Jake is now wearing. Oh, my God. Like, our merch guy made that. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 02:01:16 And I think Jake just told him, hey, just make some funny hats. Do whatever you want. No, I specifically called for that one. Oh, you asked for that one? Yeah. Wow. Knowing you would want it. I thought you would. I exist called for that one. Oh, you asked for that one? Yeah. Wow. Knowing you would want it. I thought you would.

Starting point is 02:01:28 I exist to make you laugh. The Third Reich hat. So, yeah, which is. I got a call from. It'd be like Frank or his brother or, you know, the Third. Or the Third. That's right. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:01:40 I got a call from our good friend Dave yesterday, and he was just like, really, dude? So we've gotten off on a bad foot. I don't know if it's a bad foot. We couldn't survive in our last place. I would not call it a good foot. Like we're too hot for this pot. Like we thought we're in this world now where there are no rules. Anything goes, and we're too hot for the podcast network that we joined.

Starting point is 02:02:06 They're in Austin. Yeah. You got to be careful. I thought it was funny. It is very funny. But the point is, we didn't choose that one. No. No.

Starting point is 02:02:14 That's a really good point. I'm anti that. That's a really good point. Didn't choose the first, second, or third. Yeah. No. And what is this? Should we have had a MAGA hat, or would that have been too polarizing?

Starting point is 02:02:27 How funny would that have been? You totally should have had a MAGA hat. Yeah. I wonder if they wouldn't have kicked it out for that. I don't think so, no. Anyway, so two dueling videos. Yeah, I liked yours better. Okay, because it was cute.

Starting point is 02:02:41 It was so cute, and it was also shorter. Had Blake. And, yeah, Blake kind of did steal that show from y'all. I'm sorry. But this one, it was really good. And Jake's performance was so cute. But you know what would have just nailed it, Jake? What's that?

Starting point is 02:03:00 If you had been talking into a Doritos, a ball phone. My gosh, if we had done that today. Hello? That would have been such a great sight gag. Wow. You're right, Sarah. You're always right. Keep me around.

Starting point is 02:03:16 Now it's time for this. Is that the outtakes? Blake, you're really good. Thank you. Did you act in high school? Well. No. Today is Thursday, May 9th.

Starting point is 02:03:38 When I came in here, the guy at the front desk, I told him where I was going, and we started chatting, and he goes, so let me ask you a question. I said, yeah. Why do they call it the dumb zone? Yeah, my, it's a bit difficult to explain to my daughter because we have internalized the idea

Starting point is 02:04:02 that dumb is a bad word. Whoops. But now she's like, is that your job? Because she sees this. Did I tell you guys about this the other day? You want a sticker? It's a naughty word. I do want a sticker.

Starting point is 02:04:14 Like my mom is way too specific with my child. And the other day she saw this sticker. Wait, way too specific with my child? Yeah, like she'll tell her things that I would not tell her. Oh, oh, oh, like an explaining thing. Yeah, yeah. So my daughter saw the sticker. It says dumb zone.

Starting point is 02:04:32 And Chappie shows things to her that you wouldn't show her. That is exactly right. And she said, so that's your job, right? And I said, yes. And she said, they used to call it the hang zone. But then the radio station was mean to you. Oh. Oh, you got to roll on that. I need to hear that. Well, I mean, I didn to call it the hang zone, but then the radio station was mean to you. Oh. Oh, you got to roll on that.

Starting point is 02:04:47 I need to hear that. Well, I mean, I didn't know it was coming. Yeah, I know. That's the problem. Hey, can you do that again? And I'm like, where'd you hear that? She's like, your mom. Oh.

Starting point is 02:04:56 Yeah. Yes. Why does she need? She doesn't need to know that, mom. How old is Nora? Five. That's adorable. That's such a cute age.

Starting point is 02:05:05 Yeah. She subscribes. The perfect age to learn about Cumulus Media's crushing power. She knows now. So on this day in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson. I was familiar with him. You've heard of him? Mm-hmm.

Starting point is 02:05:21 Blake hasn't heard of all the presidents. Has anybody? Was it Chester, Arthur? What about Millard Fillmore? Woodrow Wilson signed a proclamation. Not reading a bill. So this is 1914. I proclaim. He proclaimed

Starting point is 02:05:36 that the second Sunday in May would be Mother's Day. Oh, it's his fault. And I think, this is 1914, this was done to appease women who were yapping on and on about not having the right to vote. That's exactly right. It's like, hey, how about this?

Starting point is 02:05:57 How about a day? You can't vote, but... Give you some brunches. One day a year. Yeah. Eh, we'll do it on a Sunday, because we're already not doing anything that day. It's not like we're going to give you a dayes. One day a year. Yeah. Yeah, we'll do it on a Sunday because we're already not doing anything that day. It's not like we're going to give you like a day off. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:06:10 A little bank holiday. Yeah. Let you leave the kitchen. What are you guys doing for Mother's Day? Man, I'm lacking. Yeah. Everything is so expensive. Oh, my God.

Starting point is 02:06:22 I just bought a $60 candle at Neiman Marcus. Thanks a lot, Biden. Yeah. On this day in 2001 in Ghana. Anybody know where that is? I do. I dated somebody in Ghana. I mean, from Ghana.

Starting point is 02:06:42 A stampede by spectators at a soccer match killed 123 people. He never talked about that. No, he didn't? No. But according to the Associated Press, it says here they were only soccer fans. So it wasn't that big of a deal. What does that mean? It means soccer sucks and nobody cares that you died at the soccer game.

Starting point is 02:07:04 He was actually just reading the report, though. That's not true. I was just reading the Associated Press. That was Dan's commentary. He's got the documents, though. You said AP, right? Yeah. That's right.

Starting point is 02:07:18 And on this day in 2019, Pope Francis issued a groundbreaking new church law. What year again? 2019. Just a groundbreaking new church law. What year again? 2019. Just a few short years ago. Was it about the gays? I think it was. That's a very harsh way to say it. It does not say it was about the gays.

Starting point is 02:07:35 That's not harsh at all. I love the gays. Right. No more boy diddling. Trans. Not about the gay. Animals. Not about the trans

Starting point is 02:07:45 Pets, pets, pets, pets The law would require all Catholic priests and nuns To report Clergy sexual abuse and cover-ups By their superiors to church authorities Before that The previous church law Would require a new fresh batch of kids

Starting point is 02:08:02 To be delivered to that Batch of kids to be delivered to that. Batch of kids. That's right. And a broom and a rug for every. That's right. Those clergy get older. Kids stay the same age, baby.

Starting point is 02:08:16 It's great. 2019 feels a little late for them. It does. It does. It was required then? Before it was just recommended? Well, right. I mean, it was legally, yeah. Guys, please.

Starting point is 02:08:28 On this day in... Oh, wait. Let's not go this day anymore. Now we're on to today's birthdays. Wait, did I ever do listener birthdays? I did. Did that earlier, right? You did.

Starting point is 02:08:39 Okay. I think so. Today's birthdays include former ranger Prince F birthdays include former Ranger Prince Fielder. When Prince Fielder retired. Very classy name. He had a press conference. And this is the last question he was ever asked in any press conference. Hold on.

Starting point is 02:09:00 I think it's important to note that when this occurred, at least in my mind, he was wearing the people's court neck brace. Because injuries cut his career short. Yeah, his neck was all jacked up and he couldn't really move. Right. It's not funny. I'm sorry I laughed. A couple more. Anything else? You gotta wait for the microphone.

Starting point is 02:09:30 Do you understand what Lou Gehrig was going through in his famous speech? What? That's the last question he ever asked. He was ever asked. Was he suffering from... And his answer he suffering from Prince Fielder disease? Wow. Trey Lance is 24. Gave up his number.

Starting point is 02:09:53 For who? Come on, bud. Zeke. Oh. So that's how it works? Only so many people can have... You have to give up a number? Zeke wanted 15, and that's the number Trey Lance had.

Starting point is 02:10:07 That's the number that Zeke wore in college. Why did Zeke want 15? That's what he wore in college, I guess. That's his number. And because probably, as we surmised, Jerry just wants to sell an entire new batch of Zeke jerseys. That's why. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:10:21 And I think it is his lucky sexual assaulting number, isn't it? That's 21. Is that what I think it is his lucky sexual assaulting number, isn't it? That's 21. Is that what he was in college, right? Didn't he do that? It is great that we got Zeke back on the team so that Dak can have his buddy, and we put a bunch of money down for an aging football star. That's great, right? That's how you win Super Bowls?

Starting point is 02:10:43 That's how you rally the troops. Look how much sports Sarah knows. I just love the idea of having a lucky sexual. That is crazy. 21's too mature for him. I think he's probably grown up. Don't you think that Jerry Jones probably has a soft spot for redeemed figures? Because he sees himself as one.

Starting point is 02:11:04 That's what I think. Yeah, but you don't ever have to be fully redeemed figures because he sees himself as one. That's what I think. Yeah, but you don't ever have to be fully redeemed. No, I didn't say fully redeemed. He's not going to do the sexual assaulting anymore. Probably not, no. He's passed. John Lott is 60. Love John Lott.

Starting point is 02:11:20 Good friend of the show. Former guest, hard knock star. Sound like no lubbock fish guy many years ago what was the word he kept saying that we were dad gummit or uh dumping gosh darn no we're gonna dump that he was calling gold damn hold on cunt no it was it was james what was that? I'm just guessing. Oh. It sounded like Tourette's.

Starting point is 02:11:47 I know. I thought that was a drop or something. Did he keep saying pecker? Yeah. Oh, yeah. That is right. Yeah. I love pecker. Yes.

Starting point is 02:11:55 That's a cute word. It's like a cute old-fashioned Texan word. Doug Christie is 54. Tell Sarah who Doug Christie is. God. Sarah, Doug Christie was an NBA player in the 90s and 2000s. His wife was featured on one of those basketball wives shows. Sure.

Starting point is 02:12:15 And she would follow the team bus, the team plane. She would follow him around the country. And she actually told a story one time that whenever he would go on the road, she would weigh his testicles. What? And then whenever he would come home, she would weigh them again to make sure that they weighed not less. That feels unscientific.

Starting point is 02:12:35 Yeah. He didn't drain them. Right. But what if he masturbated? No, that was not allowed. Nope. Only to her. That was not allowed. That's right. I mean, that was like, that was the point. How can you weigh testicles, though? Calvin Murphy is 76.

Starting point is 02:12:53 Wait, wait, wait. He is with the Houston Rockers. We should workshop this. You're familiar with the Calvin Murphy Kemp Spin? Because I have it in detail right here Go ahead He won the J. Walter Kennedy

Starting point is 02:13:10 Citizenship Award in 1979 That's a yay, right? If we're going to play yay boo Okay, the yay is The word citizenship That means you're doing some good stuff Fantastic

Starting point is 02:13:24 Later, he would be accused by five of his daughters of sexual abuse. And that is a boo. Yeah, that's a thumbs down. That's a bad citizen. You're right. That's a bad dad. Did you get your citizenship revoked? There's a lot of bad.

Starting point is 02:13:49 A lot of bad. We can't just limit it to... A lot of bad. Billy Joel is 75. I love Billy Joel. Is that controversial? No, no, no. I've seen you tweet about it.

Starting point is 02:14:00 Yeah, I did. I went through a little phase. I love 80s Billy Joel. He prints money. 80s only. Only 80s Billy Joel. Well, I don't... Yeah, I don't I went through a little phase. I love 80s Billy Joel. He prints money. 80s only? Only 80s Billy Joel. Well, I don't, yeah, I don't pay attention. And cover bands.

Starting point is 02:14:09 70s Billy Joel is fantastic. Didn't he do like a, I don't know, like 75 night a year residency at MSG? They have his number retired. And he had like a- There's a banner hung up for him. Yeah, yeah. Right? Numbers retired And he had like a helipad

Starting point is 02:14:27 Oh yeah I read the New Yorker article It was fantastic It's a really really good article Like literally Dan Yeah I read that too Fly over to MSG from his place in New Jersey every night Yeah and then he was like out He was back home within 15 minutes

Starting point is 02:14:42 Of saying goodnight He would be already there You're not even at your car yet He's back home within 15 minutes of saying goodnight. Yeah. He would be already there. And it's just 100K. Like, you're not even at your car yet. He's back home. Right. It's pretty awesome. Do you think they'll get us a helipad for downtown Dallas here?

Starting point is 02:14:56 We don't even have parking. You know, that's the thing. You could get a screen from Timu. I was shocked. It's hard to get parking here. Tell me about it. You know what I think about the ball thing? If you had danglers.

Starting point is 02:15:09 Dangling balls? Yes. If he had danglers, you could get a decent weight on it. Just one of those fish skate. Yeah. So after the shower. They'll come and raise them? Not after the pool.

Starting point is 02:15:20 Right. That's right. Sanja Sohn. I can honestly say I've never heard the term danglers. Is 60. She was on The Wire. Remember her? Oh, she played Kima.

Starting point is 02:15:35 She gets shot. I met her. Did you? Yeah, I met a bunch of them at the Washington Correspondents Dinner once. I crashed it. Them? Oh, come on. It was WireCast members.

Starting point is 02:15:51 Ghost Face Killa is 54. Can I tell Jake because he's a Wire fan? Oh, you're the guy. Jake is the Wire fan. Wait, you're the guy that likes the Wire? Yeah. It was also Clay Davis and Marlon. She.

Starting point is 02:16:03 She. It was pretty awesome. Love Marlon. She. She. It was pretty awesome. Love Marlon. Ghostface Killa. Ghostface Killa, 54. That spawned a really cool Dirk nickname. Ghostface Drilla? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:16:16 I was thinking the other day, I really love the nickname Slim Reaper. That's funny. I don't think he likes it, though. For KD? He doesn't? No. He hates it. Really?

Starting point is 02:16:24 That seems so cool. I agree. think he likes it, though. For KD? He doesn't? No. He hates it. Really? That seems so cool. I agree. Yeah. Or the tarantula. He probably doesn't like being reminded that he's so skinny. Yeah. He couldn't bench press 135. I would love that.

Starting point is 02:16:34 I want to be called the Slim Reaper. But it's like hot girls want to be told they're smart. Not the fat old guy. Hot girls want to be told they're smart. Just looking at me funny. And smart girls want to be told they're hot. I'll keep that in mind. Yep.

Starting point is 02:16:47 It's good advice. Andrew WK is 45. Grover's one of your showers. Grace Gummer is 38. Is that why you're listening to that song, Video Man? Oh, he was listening to I Want to Party? He was jamming out to Party Hard earlier. We had him on the show a long, long time ago.

Starting point is 02:17:06 He was great. Really? Yeah. Yeah, it's very Larry the Cable guy. He's a very suburban white guy. The whole thing is just a work. Right, yeah. Which is awesome.

Starting point is 02:17:20 Yeah, he's just got pictures of him as if he was smashing a brick into his face. He's kind of amazing. I'm kind of fascinated by him. Yeah. Good dude. Maybe. Who's great? Grace Gummer is the daughter of Meryl Streep, and she was on Mr. Robot.

Starting point is 02:17:34 Oh, my God. She's 38. What? She was so great in that show. Oh, you liked her? Yeah. I would have kept Streep if I were her. Dom, right?

Starting point is 02:17:46 I don't recall her name I think it was Dom Great show though Do you think she just wanted to be herself Be her own Yes but Gummer's a tough one Or is it that her dad's name is Gummer No fair enough I mean probably so I'm just saying

Starting point is 02:18:00 Streep is a pretty name You don't understand that your name is Gummer, right? I had a buddy. Meryl Streep? No. Dan has a buddy. It was my friend in Ohio. I don't want to get more detailed than that.

Starting point is 02:18:20 But he said he once got a gum job from a lady who popped out her. No. I swear to God. And? He said it was the greatest thing ever. Really? No interference. Like, she was not, like, old, old.

Starting point is 02:18:33 She was, like, in her 40s or something. She was, like, a meth addict? I don't know. Why didn't she? Somehow she didn't have teeth. Wouldn't that hurt? Maybe she talked back too much. Jeez.

Starting point is 02:18:45 It is Ohio. It is Ohio. It is Ohio. He told her twice. And Lisa Ann is 51. The goat. The porn star. She retired. I just, the goat.

Starting point is 02:19:00 She's the greatest porn star of all time. The porn star. Capote. How are those things even related? Capasote. Okay, yeah. She's Day greatest porn star of all time. A porn star. Capote. How are those things even related? Capasote. Okay, yeah. She's Nalen Palin. Oh, she's Nalen Palin.

Starting point is 02:19:11 Oh, well, then I can see. Well, she retired from the porn and had breast reduction surgery, which, as you know, is like slapping God in the face. That's right. You pulled video from her, right? Did you ever consider that, Sarah? Yes, when I was 18 years old. Because your jugs

Starting point is 02:19:32 were so giant. God, this is sexual harassment. It really is. The thing about it is that when I was 18, I had big naturals. I don't think I've ever heard that. It'd be cool if you could give it to somebody else.

Starting point is 02:19:47 I know, but the 90s were kind of like a Kate Moss. Everybody was flat-chested. See, here's the thing. I tried to get my mom to let me get a breast reduction. And she was like, no, not until you're over 18.

Starting point is 02:20:08 She's like, look, these will come back. Everything is cyclical. No, she was. Dudes are going to love them. No, she was always worried about my back. And then, anyway, it doesn't matter. But I didn't get, and I'm glad. And it is important to know that these things go in and out of fashion.

Starting point is 02:20:25 I've been really enjoying Sidney Sweeney's Big Naturals comeback. Yeah. Same. Yeah. I haven't noticed. No. No, you shouldn't. I respect her as an actor.

Starting point is 02:20:37 No, I know. You know, she's really smart. She's got some big ideas. Guys, huge ideas. And they bounce. Born on the Stay, now dead. We have John Brown. Says here, abolitionist.

Starting point is 02:20:51 Oh, yeah. So I feel like he... Yeah. Burned some shit down. So what does that mean? What was he trying to abolish? No, abolitionist. He was a slavery abolitionist.

Starting point is 02:21:02 So he was trying to abolish slavery? Slavery, yeah. So is that the start of cancel culture? Like he's trying to... Woke. Nice. Okay. I like it.

Starting point is 02:21:19 Woke John Brown. I don't know if I'm going to recover from that. It's fine. We're done. We are pretty much done. Okay. Any closing remarks? Sarah, thank you for your first visit in our studio.

Starting point is 02:21:36 It was fun. It's a pleasure to have you in person. It's good to be here. It was nice. We're going to hook you up with a Sub If we can ever figure that We just can't figure that out Yeah

Starting point is 02:21:48 Okay well here's the other thing When Dan first called me We'll have to give you some money too Yeah He was like He was like I would never ask you to do this And not pay you Right

Starting point is 02:21:57 And then that was a month ago We're up against it Dan is going to lie to you a lot Get used to this Oh okay Any final closing remarks James? Yeah Banquet's open to the public

Starting point is 02:22:11 It's at Community Brewery I brought some community beer for you Also I wasn't lying when I said big fan You're a big inspiration as well I was drinking my What are you showing her there? I was drinking my non-alcoholic beer over here Day 352 for me

Starting point is 02:22:24 Oh hell yeah. Hell yeah. I'm plugging the community beer here. They do have a non-alcoholic that will be available at the banquet. I always find that interesting because I saw you at a party once and you're drinking a non-alcoholic beer

Starting point is 02:22:40 and I just feel that's... You thought that I was cheating. I just don't know. I mean, it doesn't... What's in it for you? If you quit smoking pot, would you smoke something that doesn't have THC in it that felt like pot? It's a fair question.

Starting point is 02:22:52 A couple things that I'll say. One is that pot doesn't have the social kind of trappings. Yeah. So when you're at a party and you're drinking in a Dixie cup and everyone else has a beer in their hand, it's very conspicuous. Because I don't like drinking either.

Starting point is 02:23:05 Uh-huh. And I have found, I stole this from someone else who said, if I tell people I'm an alcoholic, that can stop the conversation. It will. But if I just say, yeah, I'm just not into drinking, it's like, what? Come on, man. What happened? Come on, man.

Starting point is 02:23:21 Dude. Yeah. Yeah. I don't do good with moderation. The other thing is that I am one of those weirdos that genuinely loves the taste of beer. I do too. Especially like, I haven't tried community, but athletic beer, non-alcoholic beer is terrific. It was not an acquired taste for me.

Starting point is 02:23:39 Yeah, it was not an acquired taste for me. It was like fish to water. Did you ever black out? Me? Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of the water. Did you ever black out? Me? Yeah. That's kind of the point. After a while. Okay. I didn't know.

Starting point is 02:23:52 Just like in Sarah's awesome book, which is a New York Times bestseller. I never knew this before, but a lot of that is about your body weight and your size and how much... Yeah, and genetic predisposition. Girls are more predisposed to black out. Yes, they are because... To blackout.

Starting point is 02:24:06 Yes, because it processes... Works perfectly for us, doesn't it, guys? Jesus, no! You didn't have to rub your beans. No. A little bit less. No. But yeah.

Starting point is 02:24:15 No, sir. It became a challenge or something for a while. I've gone 10... It was a challenge to you, like, how much can I drink? Almost 10 years and nobody's made that joke. And you ruined my streak. You knew what you were in for. You bought your ticket.

Starting point is 02:24:32 You could say I was asking for it. Sorry, James is still talking. James, are you Irish, Scotch-Irish? Yeah, Crowley is. Yeah, that is a blackout culture right there. I'm just going to tell you. As somebody that is part Irish myself. I'm offended by that right there. I'm just going to tell you. As somebody that is part Irish myself. I'm offended by that.

Starting point is 02:24:46 I'm Irish. We are a blackout people. I mean, that doesn't make sense. I mean, our favorite holiday. Oh, wait. Maybe it does make sense. Yeah. Are you done with closing remarks?

Starting point is 02:25:00 We've pimped the rugby stuff today. when we've pimped the rugby stuff today? We are the only club in Texas that has our own, that we own the field, our own property. And so you can come up there, come up to Wiley if you're up there. Wiley! I drive by it all the time. Bring the kids.

Starting point is 02:25:19 We have youth leagues. We have female sides. We have touch. We have flag. We have something for everybody. The rugby gardens, You can look that up online. Rugby gardens. What else? What else can I say about rugby and community? The banquet is Saturday 7 to 11.

Starting point is 02:25:32 If you show up at the door, I think I got 10 or 15 seats left. I brought four with me if anybody wants one. Okay. And you won't be using your drink ticket, right? No, no. You'll have a bracelet that's open tap for three four hours so why did you like what was like did you have like a bottom moment because

Starting point is 02:25:50 sarah wrote her book lots of bottom moments yeah give us a nice give us like the last thing that you want a few tops uh the last tim collishaw he has said what it was like tripping down some stairs and yeah having a i thought his was like i thought his was like thepping down some stairs and having a... I thought his was like... That's Child's Play, yeah. I thought his was like The Arrest. Did you read Kalasha's book? No. Okay, he wrote one about it. He like woke up like 45 minutes away, right?

Starting point is 02:26:14 Something like that, yeah. Or in a car on an FM... Yeah. They're like, where are you? Done that. Got kicked out of a few places. Kicked out of concerts. Yeah, he fell down stairs on like Christmas Day or something and spent Christmas in a

Starting point is 02:26:27 hospital because of it. Oh, that sucks. I would say I blacked out once in my life. Do you think you did? A hundred percent. Okay. Yeah. He's in a blackout right now.

Starting point is 02:26:37 No, I mean, I just- I mean, I passed out, but a blackout- Yeah, maybe that's where I'm mixing up the two things a little bit. There is one time, and I did grow up in a different era for sure, but I might have even told you this in the past. One time I was out, you know, whatever, drinking and everything, and then ended up at home, and I woke up the next day, and it's like the car was in the garage.

Starting point is 02:27:01 How did that happen? And I drove home, And I have no idea how that occurred. That scared me enough to... That is one thing societally that we can earnestly say has improved. People don't drive

Starting point is 02:27:20 drunk as much. Unless you're named Rashi Rice. And then you drive it 120 miles now. There we go. Sorry, James, I did interrupt you. I don't think he was exactly fired up about the

Starting point is 02:27:35 direction of things. Oh, yeah. Let me tell you about all my bottom moments. I had a couple where my wife recorded what I was saying. Oh, that's brutal. I was blacked out, kind of passed out, but I was still talking.

Starting point is 02:27:54 Okay, so she was on you to – She was definitely an ally. She's a partner. I had talked about it for years. I was sober in my 20s. I was sober for five or six years, and I learned how to my twenties. I was sober for, uh, for five or six years and I learned how to manage it. Uh, turns out I didn't, but did your wife not drink? Uh, no, she, not when I met her, but she does drink and she's a responsible adult. I mean, I think

Starting point is 02:28:17 that's the key there, but, um, turns out I'm pretty like, uh, what do you call it? Um, compulsive about a lot of stuff, not just alcohol. Alcohol is just very accessible and acceptable culturally. So now are you, like, really – do you have to replace it with something else that you're really hard for? Oh, yeah, I try to replace it with all kinds of stuff. Rugby. Yeah, rugby.

Starting point is 02:28:40 Ideally work or something productive, you know, I try to focus on – Were you a dirty drunk when you were at fight night? You fought at fight night? Yeah, I wasn't drunk when I fought, but I definitely pounded a couple Corona lights while I was there. And yeah, numbed my chin a little bit. But yeah, drinking all the time,

Starting point is 02:28:59 drinking during the day, whatever. And did you read Sarah's book? I have not, no. Okay, but you did know at least the first passage. Oh, God. Yeah. Definitely as much as you guys have talked about here. Right, for sure. And guys. Don't shake your head! It's one guy.

Starting point is 02:29:14 It's just him. You put it in the book! It's a bestseller! It's a hook! And I listened to yours as well. It's the greatest hook in book history! Do you know how many interviews I've done and people were just so delicate about that topic? Yeah. Not here.

Starting point is 02:29:28 And then you just came in. We're keeping it real here. You know, I'm promoting your book way better than them. Somebody's going to listen to that interview and be like, okay, maybe I'll read it. I'm saying it's the best hook in book history. And you're going to have to go buy Blackout by Sarah Heppola to find out. After you come to the rugby banquet on Saturday at Community. That's right.

Starting point is 02:29:50 And get Blackout. Look at all these plugs. Get Blackout. Less than right. Not the way to promote the book. We're going to have a merch table. Check us out at Wash Media. Sell some of your books.

Starting point is 02:29:58 That's right. Yeah, YouTube.com. Crankle. Oh, I got shirts for you guys, too. Dorito phone. Prosper Ford. Rugby shirts. You guys are just saying wordsito phone. Prosper Ford. Rugby shirt. You guys are just saying words now.

Starting point is 02:30:07 Yeah, pretty much. I brought an autographed picture of myself, too. Okay. All right, we got to go. There's our ender. Adios, mofo. No Puppet No Puppet Nope, nope, Puppet

Starting point is 02:30:42 Nope, Puppet Nope No Puppet No Puppet Nope. Nope. Pops it. Nope. Pops it. Nope. Pops it. Nope. Pops it. Nope. Pops it. Nope.

Starting point is 02:30:49 Pops it. Nope. Pops it. Nope. Pops it. Nope. Pops it. Nope.

Starting point is 02:31:05 Pops it.

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