The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 6-3-24

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneSpecial guest comedian, Jimmy Nelson, joins the crew, bringing his unique brand of humor and insights. Jimmy shares some wild stories from his time as a firefighter, including some of the grossest things he's ever seen on the job. The team also welcomes musician Grady Spencer, who bravely subjects his new single to a review by Dan's brutally honest daughters. The results are both hilarious and insightful.In the sports segment, the team covers the latest in the NBA playoffs and the NHL, discussing the Dallas Mavericks' journey and the Dallas Stars' recent playoff performance. They also touch on the impact of recent weather on local animal shelters and the bizarre world of stock market glitches.Blake wraps things up with a review of the latest viral stories, including a WNBA controversy and a look at the world's largest Cybertruck meetup. It's an episode packed with laughs, insights, and the kind of offbeat charm that makes The Dumb Zone a must-listen. (00:00) - Open (25:48) - Today in Twitter: Oilers chick, political rap video (37:45) - DFW Sports: Stars, Mavs (01:14:42) - Viewer Mail (01:28:23) - Roast Twins (01:50:37) - News (02:03:30) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week.

Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program. The Dumbs Up. So she tells me everything's fine, I schedule an appointment with a fertility clinic, but do you want to do the collection on site or at home? And I was like, pardon? They're like, oh yeah, you can just do it at home and mail it in. And I went, I'll do it on site please.

That's the correct response. You can't mail come. That seems like a real Oklahoma City bomber move. I don't need the mailman, I know him, he's nice, Jared, he's a good dude. I don't need him handling my semen anyway. Like what am I going to do, I'm going to hand him the mail? I'm going to hand him the mail. I'm going to hand him the mail.

I'm going to hand him the mail. I'm going to hand him the mail. I'm going to hand him the mail. I'm going to hand him the mail. I'm going to hand him the mail. I'm going to hand him the mail. I'm going to hand need the mailman, I know him, he's nice, Jared, he's a good dude. I don't need him handling my scene in any way, shape, or form. Like what am I gonna do, I'm gonna hand him a package and be like, sit on that one, gotta keep that one warm. Gotta incubate that bad boy. Alright Jared, have Monday, Jake. Same to you, sir. I'm Jake Kemp.

I'm Dan McDowell. Are we going to do this every time? I wanted to be the first one this time. You can be first every time. In fact, that's what I tell her. I'd rather you be first. Yeah. You're a respectful man.

Then you can get busy. It's so gross. Delayed gratification. Okay. Anyway, welcome to the dumb zone if you've never been with us before. I'm Dan. No, we already did. I'm Blake.

Yep. Open. Business. Four. And the open that we had today was a comedian who's in studio with us right now. We're in our studio, our downtown Dallas studio, trying to figure out where we are. Home away from home. And that comedian is sitting right there.

If you're looking at us on YouTube, you can see him. Ah. Or you'll be able to see him. He is Jimmy Nelson. Hello, everyone. There we go. He's got a sweet muzzy. Thank you, thank you.

And jokes about cum. That's what I got. That's what I'm bringing to the table. You sound like a firefighter. That is accurate. You don't sound anything like a firefighter. I know. How many times did you have to make a deposit?

To the... I did that like 10 times. Did what 10 times? The fertility thing. Oh, okay. No, I only did it once. It was just that fiery? It was, man.

Yeah. Yeah, I did it once. It was just that fiery? It was, man. Yeah. Yeah, I did it once. She got pregnant afterward. The cup? Yeah. I actually have a joke about that where I was just like C plus semen. That's what I got. Yeah.

Because it was just right down the middle of the bars. I'm like, that's fine. That's fine. You want the doctor to walk in and be like, I've never seen this before. Yeah. The cup got pregnant. It's like we can visibly see them swimming. Bunch of Navy SEALs in and be like, I've never seen this before. Yeah. The cup got pregnant. It's like, we can visibly see them swimming.

Bunch of Navy SEALs in here. We don't know what's going on. It's off the charts. I had to do it several times. Yeah. And there was a couple times where I was telling these guys about it. The first couple times I did it, the clinic was right down the street from my house. And they didn't offer me the opportunity to mail it, but they did say I could pick up the cup, do it at home, and bring it in.

But you have like 15 minutes. Yeah, that's a tough. It's like fast and furious. The parking lot? Yeah. What are you doing? Yes. That's a crime in most places.

Yeah, and there were like protesters outside in the parking lot. Nothing gets me going like Palestine. That's what it is. They were not protesting the war in Palestine. I don't know when this was. When was it? It was a few years ago. It was an interesting

experience for sure. Probably George Floyd. There you go. I think it was actually just abortion related, Blake. Most protest things do get you going. That's true. No matter what it is, you can probably work one up. That's true. At the protest. He's sitting next to a guy with a nice muzzy who we'll talk to at length later.

He is Grady Spencer. Hello. Remember Grady? Or you don't remember Grady. He emailed us. Yeah. He wanted us to review his music. Yes.

And I told him, we don't do that. Right. We know people who do, though. Yeah. I have somebody who's in my house that's very opinionated, and they might like to review your music. Yeah. And so they will later.

I can't wait, man. My two daughters. Yeah, I'm pumped. No, you're not. No, I think it's going to be words of encouragement, well thought out. Right? No, you never know. Highly constructive.

Yes. Dude, like, they're really just going to take me to the next level. Yeah. I can feel it. I just said, give your honest opinions. Yeah. Yeah, it's going to be great. I'm excited to be here. Thank y'all for working with me on this. And you got to compete

with Jimmy for sweetest mustache in the studio. I've lost. There's no competition. It's just straight up. Those both look pretty great, but the Jimmy, the little tail at the end. The little tail. Down turn, yeah. It's very firefight end. The little tails, yeah. The downturn, yeah. It's very firefighter. It is very firefighter.

Or Air Force, perhaps, like a pilot. Which one's gay or who knows? Jimmy, are you aware of the idea that Dan believes that nobody respected firefighters until 9-11? Strong stance. Okay. I think that was our time to shine, you know? Yeah, I think pre that, though, it was like, oh, there's a firefighter versus cop game? Yeah.

Like a hockey game? Firefighters typically win. Oh, it's the guys who couldn't become a cop versus the cops. Wow, bold as dance. I'm just saying that's what it was in the year 2000. If you take the civil service test and you don't do great, cop. You know, cop. That's fine.

They need bodies, just warm bodies. Interesting. I didn't know you guys had a comeback to that. If you don't have a crime in the past 10 years, you know, here's a gun. Go do something. Please don't rough up any minorities, please, on camera. That's the only. Just kill that body cam.

I was wondering. Or golfers. Did 9-11 inspire you to become a firefighter or did the television show rescue me? Oh, wow. Okay. I think it was a 9-1-1 Lone Star. Yeah. That did it for me.

Yeah. Rob Lowe. Just a beautiful cast of characters together. It's about inclusion, really, the fire service at the end of the day. I mean, he was just watching the Super Bowl and then 9-1-1 Lone Star came on right after. Now, the real story's not as cool. My oldest brother is a fireman as well.

So, I just kind of followed him into it. Boy, I was hoping he wouldn't say, my oldest brother died in a fire. Yeah, yeah. In 9-11. I've been seeking my revenge ever since. It's fire. Do you guys recall when 9-1. I've been seeking my revenge ever since. It gets fire.

Do you guys recall when 9-1-1 Lone Star did a Snowmageddon episode? I've referenced this before. I've watched the first four episodes. It's the funniest thing ever because they find somebody who's frozen, and Rob Lowe goes to do CPR, and the guy's chest caves in. I've seen the clip of that, actually. That's awesome. It's quite spectacular. I've been trying to get my station

to watch that because if you watch it as a comedy, it's hilarious. It's so much better. Especially if you understand fire service stuff. It's so ridiculous. I can imagine. No one will get on board with me though. It's kind of disheartening at times. Need more comedians

in the firehouse. The fireman's schedule? Is it great? I love it. What is it? 24 on, 48 off. Okay. One day on, two days off. We should look into that. Yeah. We adopted... Do like three shows in a day or something? Then you get two days

off. What did we adopt? We adopted the... What's his name's schedule? Oh, Angelo? Cataldi. Angelo Cataldi schedule. Yeah, we go Monday,

Tuesday, Thursday, Friday. We go to Atlantic City. But we don't have a driver yet. Not yet. No. You do,

because you took the train here. Yeah. We have an intern. She could do it. We do. She's got a driver's license. All right, I want to lead off the weekend check.

I want to tell you guys what happened to me on Saturday because it just seemed like a regular cool weekend, and then it turned into the greatest Saturday night that any man could ever have because as I'm leaving for the gym on Saturday. Book club. It's Saturday. Drinks.

She says to me, okay, I don't know if I'll see you. When are you going to be back? I'm like, what? I had no idea. She goes, I'm going with the girls to the Dave Matthews Band concert. Oh! Four-hour ordeal. Brother, you are in the money.

She's coming home all sauced up, too. Yeah. And so now I didn't even have to do the thing I must have done months ago when she said You know the pretend thing I could just Show my excitement Because she can't get out of it

200 bucks And I was like ah Okay Alright Excellent Where is it I did say where is it? You know I love- I did say where is it, because if it was Grand Prairie, that'd be a little close.

She can get home pretty quick if she needed to. It was Dallas. It was Fair Park. You were hoping- Oklahoma. Oklahoma. You were hoping- We'll have to stay overnight.

Get a hotel room. Make a night of it, baby. Yeah. You know what? I hope- I want you to be safe. Are you going to be okay to drive? Yeah.

Yeah. That's a good one. You should have been like, you know how much I love DMV. Why didn't you invite me and really sold it uh she probably did invite me a long time ago and i was like that's probably true yeah uh but it was a glorious moment uh now i did not get that joy of anticipation throughout the week and the planning are you married jimmy yeah rolling over the different possible scenarios in my this is something we talk about a lot like my wife's going to be out of town in two weeks for two days. I already have all

48 hours planned out. See, that's the thing. What a treat. And now you have that two weeks. Every day, you feel a little better. A little bit better. A little bit more excited. Yeah. But you will never get the jolt of sudden realization. I got a shot of hair realizing that, oh my gosh, tonight, it's totally free. and this came out of nowhere. I thought I was slogging through another Saturday. I think what it comes down to is you have to have a very poor memory. Yeah, that helps a lot.

You could have had a three-month build ahead of you. You just forgot four different times that she told you. Yeah. You just forgot like four different times that she told you. Yeah, yeah. Because I don't think Dave Matthews just like rides a motorcycle into town and pops up at Gypsy Tea Room or something. Yeah. This is probably planned out quite.

Then I didn't wake up when she came. It's not like, and I didn't do anything. What'd you eat? I just went to bed. I don't know, whatever I wanted. Yeah. That was the point. That sounds pretty sweet.

Was there a game plan? Is there like a thing you're like, all right, we're getting wing stop and jerking off in the living room? Surround sound? If I wanted to, I would have. On the TV. Yeah, I could put it up on the big screen, which I think is weird. It is weird.

The big screen porn? Yeah. I also think the little screen is weird. I think the phone is weird. Never really understood your stance on that. I just feel like porn belongs here on the computer. Okay. On the laptop.

Where your camera's covered. Where the camera... Look. He's a tape. He has a tape. Yeah. You can buy these online. These little tiny...

I know because you know. I gotta line it up. I just don't want the government spy. I had a weird situation on Friday night. We went and stayed at a hotel in Fort Worth and went to dinner with some friends. Saturday morning,

whenever we were leaving, I noticed this hotel is called the Sinclair. It's a very old building. They have a podcast studio you can rent. Really? Yeah. in a hotel like in the no in the lobby there's like a a street facing booth yep with two mics and like a roadcaster and it's like 115 bucks an hour that's so smart and i guess you are a comedian and you're coming through and you want to do your show or something but i would think you would just have no just your own road equipment

the influencer i guess yeah we can stay at the sinclair we're recording our podcast here it's really good pub for them i mean it was nice it's small but it was nice and yeah it's just right there next to like the restaurant it just says says podcast studio in a nice font outside. Very weird. Did you go in and bust off a half hour? Yeah, I did some stars. If you prorate the price down, I only need 30 minutes for this one. Right, yeah.

I have 10 minutes on Gaza. So what does that run me? Really grinds my gears, that Gaza. Yeah. I just thought that was weird. You know, we've talked about seeing podcasts mentioned on commercials now. They're everywhere, Jake. That's what I've heard, yeah.

The barrier to entry is low. That's what I've heard, yeah. We do ours in my living room. I've seen. Yeah. So working on the backdrop, slowly but surely. We got actual dining chairs now. I saw.

Big update in the Nelson household. So I think the production quality is going to be taking a step up here soon. We're working on our backdrop. So somebody sent me this. This is Mark, day four, sent me the Dr. Phil mug. Primetime. Says for my weak coffee leader. Your take on the day mug.

Dr. Phil Mugg. Primetime. That's for my weak coffee leader. Your take on the day, Mugg. Of course, someone named Stedman had sent us this last week. Yep. The Chisholm Trail. Yep.

See it? Yeah. Have you ever thought that was funny when you drive by that, Jimmy, or no? Are you like, oh, there's this Chisholm Trail. Yeah. Is it a Chisholm Trail Is it a Jism thing? Yeah and see that's the thing I've lived here my entire life I used to go to Chisholm Trail Park

I used to have friends who went to Chisholm Trail schools And it never occurred to me That it sounded like Jism Until I met him I just thought that's the funniest street in DFW Number two And what's number one? Brown Trail.

Brown Trail. Ah. I think we can agree on that. It's a good one. It's good if you live there, but yeah, Chisholm Trail is... And then you want to show this? Oh, yeah. This is what we got.

Do you remember the guys' names at the remote we were at last week? Or is this two weeks ago now? Boy, how could I forget? They were my Wiley buddies. We showed up to Dustin Clanton's house. Can you see that on the video? Or pull it down a little bit, Jake. There you go, yeah.

Somebody made us a nice... That's some good Photoshop skills. Whoever did that. Yeah. A super bad mock-up. It's really good. Any stories for us, Blake? I had a long weekend because we had a Halo Major over the weekend.

Oh, double XP weekend. No. Uh-oh. Halo Major, it was in London. So I was waking up at 5.30 to watch matches. Oh, my God. Like a golf fan. After staying up until about 3.

Playing Halo. Who is this guy? A nerd. FaZe Clan is back. They took the London Major. Optic came in second. Didn't play a really good Grand Finals, but they did beat out Space Station. You watch as other people play video games. And Shopify had a really

good tournament. We had a cheating ordeal. Oh no. A guy from Complexity, Spartan. Fucking Complexity. I know. Br had a cheating ordeal. Oh, no. A guy from Complexity, Spartan. Fucking Complexity. I know. Brought his own hard drive. Classic. And was trying to soup up his setup in front of everybody. Right there.

So he got disbanded. That's ridiculous. Dick. Have you seen, isn't there some kind of a Dude Perfect is teaming up with a video game thing? Why do you do this? What is it? I don't know. Oh, I thought you knew.

No. You're the Dude Perfect guy. You're the Dude Perfect and the video game guy. Oh, I forgot one other thing we lost. What did we lose? After 75 straight with no losses, we lost in the playoffs yesterday. No way. Your flag football team.

To who? They were good. New team? Old team with some new faces. Get some bringers in on you? Yeah. Not the God guys though. It was not the God guys.

What was the score? We lost by a touchdown. It was a tough day. The heartbreaker. It was a heartbreaker. Was that? We got absolutely fucked by the refs,

which... And I'm not even making that up. I know, but every team that loses says that. He's flag guarding. He's flag guarding.

They don't call the flag guard. This guy's played before. You can tell. Probably on a firefighter team. No, this was a co-ed league we had years ago. We lost in the championship because they had a... Is yours co-ed or no? No.

So this was like a female. His is not gay. We're playing real flag football. Like real men. But they had Every third play A female had to be involved in the play But the team that won

Their quarterback was a female And so that negated the rule But she was like a college football player And had a cannon Did she throw underhand? Can I ask you a question? Was she Asian? She was not

Big old white girl Because I have been absolutely cooked by a couple of asian females in flag football men's flag football and blackjack tables just stay away from them that's what my dad always said now did you guys it was a tough so the at the end of the first half uh they were allowed an extra play, which they scored on because the ref lost count of how many plays there were left in the half. The flag was pulled probably a smooth

second and a half before the pitch was made. And you know that you're in the right when both guys involved in the play wink at you afterward. What's this ref getting paid? They scored and both ran back down the sideline and winked at me. And then at halftime,

I walked over to the ref and I was like, you know, he knows what happened. And then the guy joined me over there and was like, I was down 35 yards ago. And the ref's like, I didn't see it. Oh, he did admit it to the ref then? Oh, yeah. And we lost. Now, were there any other moments in the

game that you could have played better? They're good. But they won by one score, and they got gifted a free score. And then after the game. Did you guys protest? Some people did. How's the team's Instagram looking today? We had to put a closed parenthesis on the streak.

Finally ended. After the game, their quarterback was probably the only guy out there who's my age. Older guy. And everyone else on their team was pretty cool. He was not. He was not acting like he'd been there before. Well, he hadn't. You guys have won.

Yeah, it's true. And he, like, hugged me in the like dap up line and like squeezed me and was like yelling in my face and i was very close i would love to see that kids are out of town i'm thinking i got time to go to jail yeah yeah yeah i got a day i can burn yeah what kind of squeeze are we talking here? Like, aggressive squeeze? It was sarcastic. Oh, man. Everybody else was doing, like, a dab up, like, bro hug, whatever.

And then he, like, put his arms around me and was like, how does this feel? He was laughing. It's aggressive. You got assaulted, bro. That's an aggressive move. Did he whisper in your ear? It is flag football, my friend. It's Sunday.

But much like me dealing with the police, personal growth, I walked off. Wow. Okay. And said, I'm just going to drag this guy tomorrow. I guess, yeah. I mean, they won, though. They did win. Did you play your team, Giannis?

You asked me the same question last year, Eric. Okay. I don't live by this creded on your job no right so every year you work is a failure yes or no no every every year you work you work towards something towards a goal right which is to get a promotion to be able to uh okay remember this is a couple years ago when yannis bounced in the playoffs they asked him if it was a failure. He said no and then went on to detail how you just can't fail in sports, basically

is what he said. If you try. Yeah, and then the internet lauded him for it. Like, oh, that was so great. So refreshing. So awesome. You know what? That's actually how it works with Jimmy's job, too, is if they just try to put out the fire, but everyone dies. Right. Then it's fine.

When you're on stage, a comedian, as long as you're a tempting joke, it doesn't matter if it's funny or not. The pat on the back is for the attempt. That's what it is. You gotta go out there, try your best. Yeah. Did you want to...

Oh. Moment of silence for Jake's team They lost their That was the moment The pressure was too much Are y'all going to hang it up? I actually was thinking about quitting Until yesterday

Now it's like there's just There's no way You can't go out on that note? No No effing way Okay so you will Dedicate this season To the troops

To getting the chip back Yes And that And then you will Well what was your first one? The troops You'll dedicate this season to getting the chip back. Yes, and that. And then you will, well, what was your first one? The troops. And then possibly retire after the championship next year. Tom Brady at go to a different team, win the championship, go out and be like, that shit was all me. Yeah.

Turns out, I don't know that there are any other teams in the league that would accept me, both based on age, that shit was all me. Turns out, I don't know that there are any other teams in the league that would accept me. Both based on age, athleticism, and race. Ah, okay. Next year we do the championship? Full video? Well, this is just a regular season game, right?

It was the playoffs. We're done. They're done done. That hurts. It was game one, too. First round? I mean, you were the top two. Yeah, we lost to the four seed. 1v4. Tough break, man.

Yeah. Also, a moment of silence for Larry Allen. Rest in peace. Did he die? Cowboy great. Did you know that? Mm-mm. Are you serious?

52 years old. Yeah. Sucks. You you serious? 52 years old. Yeah. It sucks. You're the producer of the show. It's a sports show. Yeah, there's stuff going on. It's kind of like what we were talking about last week, like on the different playground myths.

Larry Allen was like a straight up- The Sasquatch. He was a superhero on the elementary and middle school playground. Couldn't he lift like a thousand pounds or something? I think he put up 225 like 70 times. He bench pressed like 650 pounds. And I don't even know if this is true, but when I was a kid, I heard he beat a primate in a fight. Yeah, the fifth graders seemed real convinced that it happened.

Yeah. I believe them. Seriously. Probably once a year, I will. Chuck and a bobcat. Easy. I will watch him running down that linebacker. Oh, yeah.

We were playing it earlier today. Once a year, I will go back to that. We have that? Yeah. It's like the most athletic play you've ever seen somebody this size make. Yeah. Troy throws an interception. Love those guys, by the way.

And then Larry Allen, actually, watch him. Look at him go. He outruns Troy Aikman. Easily. And he was 200 pounds heavier than Troy Aikman. He's on that Katy trail just trotting around. So you think maybe steroids and just everything? You know what's weird?

You think he roided up? I mean. Like a lot of big offensive linemen end up dying in their 50s, right? Yeah, it seems like it goes one of two ways. Like you either end up your heart explodes or you turn into Joe Thomas. I was about to say Joe Thomas. Where you weigh like 190 pounds. Like three years after you get

out of the NFL, you look like me. I think Larry Allen played with a dip in. Oh, 100%. He was a double lip guy. Weird for football. Got a lot of downtime. Troy said that he did it. Did he really? Yeah.

They were asking him about... It was Sean and Mino, but I don't remember why this story came up, but they asked him about some sort of... Oh, it was... Who was the... Somebody got in trouble for some supplements earlier this year.

Got suspended. But anyways, Troy was like, it was just Copenhagen for me. Okay. Good answer. Yeah. Probably sideline only Also in kind of cowboys news

Justin Jefferson signed the biggest contract ever For non-QB Yeah, 110 guaranteed 40 million a year Price of the brick going up Yeah, and Jerry has been saying they're going to wait On the CD thing to kind of see how everything else Shakes out, well that doesn't seem like a great move Yeah Yeah, and Jerry has been saying they're going to wait on the CD thing to kind of see how everything else shakes out.

Well, that doesn't seem like a great move. Like, don't wait for the best receiver to set the... Well, it worked out really well whenever they waited on deck. Yeah, not a lot. And, yeah, it's working out again. Great. Yeah. It's like, fuck it.

Trey Lance's plan. Did you want to start with, like, some star stuff, or you want to do today and Twitter? What do you want to start with some star stuff, or do you want to do today and Twitter? What do you want to do? Let's do some today and Twitter. Yeah. I'm going to play you a couple videos that I found over the last couple of weeks. Let's pull one up here.

What is the acronym? What does that spell out, Blake? Today and Twitter would be TIT, right? That's right. Isn't that creative, Jimmy? Technically could be a segue into Starz Talk because they haven't won since that woman. Oh, yeah, man.

Did we cut that video off? I think we might get it. I can. Does that get you flagged on YouTube? Okay, yeah, the Edmonton hockey fan. I have it in my bookmarks if we need it. I bet you do. I bet you do, yeah. the Edmonton hockey fan. I have it in my bookmarks if we need it. I bet you do. I bet you do, yeah.

For research purposes only. I was just watching it Saturday night over and over and over again. On the big screen. Yeah. My wife walks in. You know, it's weird. The plastic bag's still on my head. Shit.

I hate to say this because I'm not like a prude by any means and I'm very much for women being able to express themselves however they should choose. Sure. God bless her. But I'm not going to lie to you. I think about my daughter when I see that.

Yeah, that's gay to do. Because I have daughters too, and maybe it's just an early thing. Maybe she's just so young that you need to move past it. Maybe. Because you're going to have to move past it. I know. And I'm never going to be like cleaning the gun guy. That's why you don't want your daughter to be too hot.

If she's not that hot, she's not going to be flashing her jugs. You know? I mean... If she's just mid, you don't want her to be too hot because you want her to be kind of like, you know, she'll have a real career and be respected in all of work. Or she could be a mid-girl that has something to prove. You know, she's got a chip on her shoulder. Yeah. Like, that's the Oilers chick she was pretty hot i would say that was a very attractive woman right pull it back up i haven't seen i guess i haven't seen her face yeah we're going patreon on this one go um yeah okay so uh my first today in twitter clip is the reality show clip and uh this is

something i saw on twitter a couple weeks ago. I believe this was a reality show that actually never aired because the network or whoever was going to pick it up decided this is going to cause too much controversy. And I wanted to play this for you guys. I'm not a woman. I was born as a man are they hooked up yes

as soon as she said i am not a woman all the boys start to laugh and that's when I thought shit but they weren't her words Miriam's final reveal was written that was scripted they overheard a conversation about how they would work but she said them so they become her words you know I was born a man is what she said so the image of the thought I just fanci born a man, is what she said. So the image of the thought, I just fancy the man. Yeah. She's quite attractive. She? Yeah.

Yeah. I don't like the true crime setup for that interview at the end. It was like a serial killer. It was. How did that never air? Why? I think. That's awesome.

I think what they ended up doing was making like a show about the reality show. Okay. ended up doing was making like a show about the reality show. Okay. Like because it was too I don't know if traumatic is the word but. Kick her ass or anything did they? No I don't think they like curbed her. Okay. But yeah like that guy had

Would you have relations with her? So this is why I wanted to bring it up. Look how hot she is. Yeah. I mean she's pretty hot. And if you didn't know, would you feel bad afterward? Do you have a good time? I think I'd have a good time. Then you had a good time. Yeah.

Well, we got to put labels on stuff, man. Yeah. They had a show. I forget the name of it. I think it actually aired where it was one of those dating shows, like Bachelor type. But it was a gay show, but they had straight contestants that had to pretend to be gay.

And then if one of the straight guys won the show, then they got the cash prize. So they just have to play it up? They had to pretend to be gay. And it wasn't like this this was too long ago, or it was for like 15 grand or something. Pretend to be gay. So if it was too long ago,

it wasn't a, we're going to give you this suite to hook up in either. Because that seems to be a new thing, right? Like Love Island or whatever, they basically have an F room. They do. Hey, we're going to go in the F room, an F. On The Bachelor and Bachelorette,

they wait until the end. The fantasy suites. How many of those chicks did Flavor Flav bang? Wasn't that like a rehab show? It's a real rehab element of it. Brigitte Nielsen, I think.

Is that her name, Brigitte Nielsen? Yeah, I thought so. I thought it was Bridget. I don't think so. Am I wrong on this one? I think it's spelled that way, but it's fancy that way. She's from somewhere weird. Okay. Hi, Sweden. Ohio.

She's from Ohio. Yeah. So my other one real quick, it's political, Cizan. You excited about this, Dan? Oh, yeah, man. Let's go. Let's vote. Let's get out the vote.

Over 34? oh yeah man let's go let's vote let's get out the vote over 34 saw his fox and friends interview yesterday morning where he's like you know i can technically win this bitch from jail trump yeah yeah i was like that's awesome hell yeah i love all the news like on social media and there's always a good comment where it's like being a felon and being the president's pretty big flex though, right? Yeah. He basically said as much yesterday in his Fox and Friends video. So I don't even really know what this is. It's a music video. There's a woman named Valentina Gomez who is a Republican candidate for Congress. And she appears in this music video. If you want to play this, Rob, Hi-Rez is the name of the rap artist.

The track is called America First where they provide their conservative values. Yes, of course it starts with hashtag free Trump. I got love for every nation. I got love for all races. I got love for all religions. Got love for so many places. No love for a politician, a congressman,

or a senator. If the country that they put in first ain't the United States of America. No love for these politicians with corporate interests in other countries. Only one that I service. God don't serve men. I don't serve me. All right, so you see what we're doing here. It's just a basic MAGA rap song.

But if you want to fast forward about 45 seconds, you will see when the Congresswoman, the hopeful. I never tell all the people to raise my net worth. The Second Amendment is there to always protect my first. I'm a better rapper than Lupe, and I don't even have to curse. Let's keep the American dream alive and put an end to old lies. BLM raised billions and what did they do for black lives? Politicians promise you the whole world, then they backslide. What happened to Hunter's laptop?

You know I'm always strapped up. Gun rights are women's rights. Feminists been sold a lie. You can mess around and find out. Play stupid games, win a stupid price. God bless the whole USA, even the ones who hate me. I'm still fighting for you today and no super pack paid me america first america okay yeah it's an elected official uh she's on her way

wow she is uh i believe the missouri secretary of state who was running for congress in uh in missouri god hey look firefighters jimmy cool Then a cop. Cop. Not a smile. That artist does not look like what I would imagine someone who would put out a song like that would look like. He's looking very. Modest Yahoo's down roll back right now. Yeah.

He's trying to get new audience. Have you seen him lately? Yeah. Didn't he like shave his beard? He looks terrible. Yeah. Yeah. He don't look good.

He looks very bad. That's wild. But that's Elaine, though. Like, ethnic MAGA guy. Oh, my gosh, yeah. That's a great call. The lady, right? Yeah, sure.

She's Latina. Attractive Latina lady. Yeah. That's going to get you going. Yeah. Look at, I don't know that Eric Johnson is MAGA, but if the wind blew that way, he'd go there, wouldn't he? Oh, yeah. Wasn't that a year ago he switched?

Yeah. He was like, yeah, I'm getting yelled at a lot. Right after the election? See what's going on. How's he doing, by the way? Oh. Doesn't he send some boots or something? I haven't checked on Sports Mayor.

Technically, Jimmy's boss. His Twitter. Yep. Yep. Did you guys get to meet the mayor? I got this cool Sinbad blanket. I think that's fun. His Twitter. Yep. Yep. Did you guys get to meet the mayor? I got this cool Sinbad blanket. I think that's fun. Divert.

Yep. Yeah. We're getting a pay raise, so that's good. So God bless him. Yeah, it's probably all him. Yeah, I've just noticed Twitter, if we're doing today in Twitter over the weekend, is just celebrating Gay Pride Month. It's just heated up.

So that's kind of fun in this day and age. It used to be just kind of a thing that started happening without half the world just SNL over it. Just kind of like, well, it happened and it was corporate and we all kind of knew, okay, they don't really care, but they just want to try and get all the people. And now, though, everybody gets criticized for doing their gay pride stuff. It's awesome. It's fun. Yeah, I think it's once the brands get involved, that's where you know you're just going to get – it's not going to land.

I was actually texting my wife and another couple yesterday we were in DC one time around this time we went to a Rangers Nationals game and there was a pride parade that day on the weekend and it was really really weird because so there was like a Lockheed Martin sponsored like a like a Wells Fargo sponsored float. Okay.

And the parade, I actually saw this yesterday. I thought of this yesterday because I saw like a Palestine protest like disrupted a pride parade. Oh. similar to what happened that day that we were there where the parade got stopped by a bunch of LGBTQ people of color who said that normal pride was not as inclusive as it should be. Okay. And like that it was

too corporate and too... Yeah. Here you go, dude. I was gonna make a joke of like, suck a dick, brought to you by Halliburton yeah but lockheed martin was actually a sponsor of this event i swear to god yeah he just put it on the screen and we were just watching this as like cis white people like looking around like i don't understand anything that's happening around me right now probably drunk smoking a cigarette what i took

away from twitter and their gay pride stuff is I guess I never really looked before. And maybe it was because the wife was out of town or out of the house. At that tab? The Britney Madonna kiss was really, really hot. Bring it up, Blake. I thought it was just like a peck. It's something worth looking into Yeah, okay As the month goes on, we'll try to follow that story

Okay That's how we're celebrating? Yeah You want to slide into This sport? You want to slide into this sport? B-b-b-b-b-basketball. Oh.

We should give hockey first up, right? Since we're done with them? Or they're done with us? Yeah, that one sucks. Like you said, since the lady bared her top, the Stars lost three games in a row. I think they had not lost three games in a row with Pete DeBoer as their coach. In the entire term?

Yeah. I did not know that. Yeah, it sucks. I thought, you know, I think back to like the bubble year and just that image of Chubbs sitting in the locker room. Do you remember that? No. Like, what's his name?

Jeff Totes? Toast? Totes? Yeah. Like their incredible video photographer guy. And he made a documentary about the bubble run when they lost to the to the lightning was he just sitting there all sad yeah yeah uh ben's just like the last guy in the locker room and it's like he knows

and uh we were talking about that it's not a winner i don't know if it's that it doesn't have what it takes but it's just you think about him and you think about Tyler and getting to the stage that they are in their career, and it's like, dude, you're not going to have that many more prime opportunities like that. Yeah. I mean, they're a pretty good team. You're not going to be the one seed too many times,

or whatever they were. You would think they'll be back. Yeah. Well, you would think so. Yeah, they were the one seed, yeah. Those guys are nearing the end. So, yes, their draft and development system has been awesome. Yeah, they got a bunch of good young guys.

Yeah, for sure. They've threaded the needle quite a bit. But Jamie's not going to have too many more chances. No, and I guess also not too many more chances where they're at this level. Yeah. They're already being relegated to the 7th, 8th, 9th forward. Did you see the Kalasha situation?

Yeah, I have that audio here somewhere. DeBoer's entire post-game thing after Game 5 was pretty testy. I understood both sides. 100%. Yeah, DeBoer's obviously...-game thing after game five was pretty testy. I understood both sides. A hundred percent. Yeah, DeBoer's obviously. They're both doing their job. Yeah, for sure. But, I mean, I've followed Tim a long time, and he is a huge hockey guy.

Yeah. I thought it was interesting. Actually, one of our listeners went back through Tim's Twitter account and was like, here's all the times where he was posting from a Stars game. Like this year. Which is a lot. A lot. And not just when they've been good.

No. But that's a very- That's a hockey thing, though. That's a very popular thing to do with media is if I haven't seen you here a lot, and it's a pretty easy thing to do when you're in the conference finals. Because more and more media show up at each round. Yeah, Rick used to do this a little bit. Like if you remember, he would do it to,

what's Sunglasses Guy's name? Sunglasses Guy? From ESPN? Oh, Matt Mosley. Matt Mosley. Yeah, Matt Mosley would show up at like two or three Mavericks games a year and Rick would just shit on him.

And the other thing, too, is like we know for a fact the stars are not real thrilled with the fact that DMN doesn't have a beat reporter. Right. When when I used to do the stars postgame show. I kind of remember thinking that as well. Like I was pissed if my regular seat was taken because now it's the playoffs. Yeah. And I'm sitting up there in the press box. That's the seat I sit in all year. I mean, I wouldn't even think that about like with the Mavericks.

Eating your ice cream. Oh, yeah. When the Lakers or the Heat would come in. Yeah. And it's like all of a sudden, I have no seat. And now I'm that guy. Like I'll show up when the getting's good. You can just play this. But whatever. In sports.

Someone has to be the guy that just shows up once a year. Am I unmuted? Yeah. Okay, let's try this. Well, it's just not playing, folks. Why can't you guys hear me? I'm on audio box go. In the drop box?

I can play it. Pete, as much as you're praising the Oilers, did you not think it was kind of a lifeless second period for your team after falling behind and just kind of putting no pressure on them at all? Yeah, I mean, listen, there's always things you can do better. You know, I'm not, you know, you can sit here and question our character if you want. You haven't been around all year. I haven't seen you here all year.

So, yeah, well, you are. That's what you're doing. So, you know, I'm not going to do it. You know, you go ahead and write whatever the fuck you want. Third rule on the right, Eric. I thought it was interesting, too, that Tim followed with, I will. Okay. Like, I don't know who you think you're talking to.

Tim Kalashar has been around. Yeah. He is not one to be intimidated by anyone. Yeah. And that sounds like a very harsh question, but that's just Tim. He's doing that to everybody. The only pushback I would provide for Tim's question is just sometimes i get annoyed with that like it's very bbc style like leading question like think of the way that you say that

like here i'll back up how did you tell your parents that you're gay yeah exactly like he like do you still beat your wife type thing you know know? Senator Wright. Pete, as much as you're praising the Oilers, did you not think it was kind of a lifeless second period for your team? Like right there, you know? I mean, it's a great question for drumming up interest. Well, to tell you the truth, though, I mean, some coaches like that stuff. Because they can motivate the media? Well, some coaches like it for the reason that Pete DeBoer used it,

which was, I'm going to side with my guys and not question their character, even though it wasn't a question of their character. It might have been a question of effort. Yeah. Or if they seemed lifeless. But some coaches like that because it does. I remember talking to, was it Ken Hitchcock? About like in different cities?

Yeah, just like the whole thing of the reason... He said the reason he was such an asshole is because the media was not. Like if you played in Montreal... Or Boston or Philly or something. The media does that for you.

The media can say your players aren't giving effort. This was a game they could have won, and then the coach can go, hey, don't ever question my team, and now it's us against the media type thing. But Dallas is usually kind of rah-rah type media, and they're not asking these questions. They're not asking the questions in the scrum in the locker room. They're not holding them accountable so that the coach has to hold them more accountable. At least that was his explanation for why I'm an a-hole.

No, it makes sense. It makes sense. But then, yeah, after last night, I don't know how many times you guys have watched that McDavid play, but it's freaking black magic. He's very good. It doesn't make any sense. It's like having a Luca.

Pretty much, yeah. You know? Exactly, where you just watch the clip over and over, and you're like, I'm not really sure how this happened. And Dallas doesn't have one of those. And they didn't get elite three years, two years ago, playoff otter.

So, it sucks. I think it would have been something we would have all remembered for the rest of our lives if they could have both made it to the finals in the same year. Would have been cool. I mean, even this far you're going to remember it because you've never... Yeah, but I'm also not going to pay attention now

to the NHL finals, Stanley Cup final at all. No. Like, I honestly kind of forgot who was playing in the East until this morning. I was like, oh, they closed it out. Who the fuck are these guys? Is Van Beesbrook still there? Plus the chance at the three, the three-peat,

the Dallas three-peat. Oh, man. Ranger stars, Mavs. That'll never happen, right? Of course not. I mean, the chances of twos. Boston got pretty close a couple times. Boston with three?

I feel like there were years where the Patriots won and the Red Sox and the Bruins were both very close. All I'm thinking about is that shitty kid who went to 20 parades in the first... I wonder what the record is. It would have to be... You're only using three teams, so you can't use New York and add two teams together. Right. But you could use New York and just have their best team that year. In a calendar year, what's the best overall record? And now, so will the

Rangers had a regular season record that wasn't that great. Right. Yeah. But you've got to add those wins in the playoffs then. Yeah, and if you remember, I did this. Or maybe even weight the playoffs heavier. Which I did not do. Give two wins for every win or something, yeah. But still, even the Cowboys won four games. But I mean every city. Yeah, yeah.

You did this for the city of Dallas. Certainly this is the best Dallas has ever had. Yeah. Or four sports. Three sports. Four sports. I think I did all four. I mean four.

I don't think the Cowboys were contributing too much to that overall score. Well, no. They got the playoffs. Their regular season was outstanding this year. That's the thing. They've won the third most games over the last three years, right? Yeah. So you combine that with a World Series title, a finals appearance, and a semi-final.

It's got to be up there. And then, of course... The wings. And then, of course, the wings. That's right. I was like, are we talking about the Red Wings for some reason? He's got the hat on. Check the hat.

That's how Mayor Eric Johnson got the Dallas Wings. So for what, seven years? Or how long has he been mayor? He's been talking about bringing a sports team to Dallas, and he finally did it. He got the Wings to move to Arlington. To move from Texas Hall to Arlington. Don't we have a women's soccer team now, too?

Isn't that a new thing? We do. How do you know that? Because Eric Johnson was- Oh, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. From I Love Sports. That's right.

Had a press conference where he was telling us all about... That's right. ...the women's soccer team. In fact, I have that whole thing cut up. Are you... Were you at least vaguely aware of all the WNBA controversy over the weekend? Dude, I love it. I don't know.

There's controversy. Oh, yeah love it. I don't know. There's controversy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're trying to turn the WNBA into like a cultural race war. So someone named Chenity Carter gave her what? A hip check or just what would you call it? That's a, yeah. I would say a hip check, a very aggressive one,

after like running up behind her and yelling you bitch it was after her team and who knows no one really knows yeah when they wound the clip back a little bit further she was barking at her a little bit etc but they had scored caitlin clark is waiting for the inbound pass, and this girl runs up and just smashes her to the ground. Yeah, I mean, it's a form tackle almost. Chicago Fire? I was about to say, yeah, what was the head coach's name there? Because this sounds like a so-and-so coach team.

It's the team that Angel Reese is on. I did know that, but I forgot the name of the coach. Because Angel Reese was fined for not doing the post-game interview. And they have a history, if you remember. That's the only reason I really know who Angel Reese is. Well, no, I guess she was a pretty good player on the LSU National Championship team, right? Yeah. And got crossways with.

But also, like. Not going to happen, buddy. Yeah, yeah. Part of the, you know, that video is Angel Reese really fist pumping and going nuts on the bench after her friend Chanity Carter knocked down Kaitlyn Clark. Teresa Witherspoon, by the way. Of course. Jake lost that about one minute when he was

By the time we got home from Tyler. Jake had memorized every WNBA head coach. It ain't gonna work, buddy. Clearly does not have that now. Yeah, Channity Carter, and now the internet is kind of after Channity Carter. I'm just reading some of the bad stuff. She got cut by Atlanta after threatening to beat up her own teammates. Okay.

The Sparks picked her up and waived her mid-season for poor conduct. Ooh. Okay. Now she's beating Kaitlyn Clark's ass. I guess she also said on social media,

like, what has she ever done? She doesn't do anything but shoot threes. And probably elevate everyone's salary. Yeah, get you on a charter. Get you chartered flights. We're doing arenas now.

Yeah, we're doing arenas. That was a popular rebuttal to that video was, I guess you can fly commercial from now on. Yeah, all our dads used to be in attendance. Now we got 19,000 people showing up to games. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it's part of the league getting bigger, right? This is going to happen.

What? Oh, like actual things happening? Yeah. People talk about? Yeah. There's going to happen what oh like actual things happening yeah people talk about yeah there's going to be news stories like this this sort of stuff probably happened somewhat before but everyone's like who cares yeah who somebody knocked who down yeah but now that the sport is getting bigger people are paying attention i saw a clip the other day of a guy uh who he fades based on cycles. What does that mean? I don't know either.

Well, sometimes. Oh, the cycle sisters. Okay. How does he know? Well, because they get listed on the injury report with soreness, and then they don't play or illness. And he's like, and you can keep track of it. I've had conflicting reports on that over the years.

Of a full season. As to whether, does that actually occur? But it's not even, we do have a female here if she wanted to weigh in, although it feels reductive. You say it's real, huh? Women say it's real. Scientists, quote unquote men, say it's not real. But that's not even what I'm talking about.

Are you kidding me? I'm not even saying, like, a sync up. I'm saying, like, that this guy was saying that I can actually tell just based on, like, a couple years of injury reports when this player is going to underperform. And then he, like, fades her prop bets. That's awesome. Heavy-duty research.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So to speak. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. So to speak. Yeah. Yes. All the Japanese pitchers follow this guy.

You got to give them big credit, right? Sure. That's a Haralabob move. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see also, I'm kind of going all over the place, but I'm scrolling through looking at my Caitlin Clark getting knocked down pictures

Jose Canseco tweeted out I did not see this he has an annual tweet every June 1st and he did it pride related? you know? I love this bit happy pride month to Alex Rodriguez

got him got him i had a i was booked to do a pride show uh saturday and i thought the booker was like because it was someone i hadn't talked to in a long time and we kind of not a falling out but like we just quit being in touch and she uh emailed me was like hey i got a show for you on june 1st you're the perfect fit i'll send you the details later are you available and i was like yeah i'm available and then like two days before the show it's uh at the rose room at s4 like a big uh drag club stage and it's just like advertised as the pride show i was like is she talking shit a little bit hey i got the perfect

you're gonna you're perfect you're our guy they going to love your mustache. Yeah, for real. And it was three straight guys that got booked on it. And we were like, are we going to get yelled at online for this? No, you're an ally. But it was fine. Yeah, we're allies. So does the fire department work around like, hey, I'm doing a show next weekend at Hyena's? So it's a great schedule to do comedy,

which I think I'm the only one to my knowledge. You get the two days off. You can usually sync it up. Then we have accrued AI time and you can dip out for a couple hours if you need to go do something. What's AI mean?

Attendance incentive. If you don't call in sick, they give you hours. You can take them in four like, four-hour increments. Oh, okay. So you can just fuck off for a few hours. Go to hyenas. Go to hyenas.

Come back. Do your bit. Yeah. Come back. Save some babies. Yep. And all that kind of stuff. What's the grossest thing you've ever seen?

Oh, grossest thing. We were talking about this on the way here. Man, there's so many like shit calls i think it's like poop and vomit are the grossest because you see a lot of gore like i've seen a fella get hit by a train fedex car uh the train always wins it's like it's like mike tyson in the 90s just don't even get in the ring with it but like the gore is kind of like i don't know it's kind of dark to say but like you become meat very quickly when it's like real fucked up but like having someone just like covered in shit you're just like god like we had we had this one call does that happen before you die do Do you actually empty? It happens sometimes. It's a real coin toss.

Okay. We had this call. If you wear clean underwear, your mom used to say, right? Or that's a cliche. It doesn't matter. Right. It was at a Kroger in the employee bathroom in the back. A homeless fellow had gone back there.

And they call us to come pick him up. And it was like out of a movie almost the timing like we me and my ambulance partner opened the swinging door and he's a fella in a wheelchair but he's out of the wheelchair he uh his he has like nubs below his knees and he's laying on his back with his nubs kicking and as we open the door he just begins shitting everywhere and he's like trying to scratch himself. And he's like, hands are covered in shit. He's got shit everywhere.

And I remember we just let the door close and just kind of look at each other. Just like, this is the toughest day I've ever had. You're just like, well, take this fellow to the hospital, I guess. That was pretty gross. Yeah. I can't imagine one word that was the worst question that's ever been asked here saw a dog just because i went to them what's that dog eat a guy one time eat a guy yeah uh welfare check on an old guy the neighbors called hadn't heard from in a long time waited about six weeks to call with at that point like just let it go yeah he's not on a

fucking ski trip go ahead and call day two you know do that for everybody i hear cats are the worst i hear the cats we'll eat you we'll eat you quick let me finish this dog story and i got one for you sir please i can't wait thank you for teeing this we talked about this beforehand he's teeing this up for me tell Tell me about the cats. Yeah. So we find this guy, and he's been dead for that entire time. But then his dog started eating him, which dogs will wait until they're starving. But then it was so long that the dog also died. And we just walk in, and we're like, God.

You're like walking into a fucking Rob Zombie movie. You're just like, what is going on? We're like, okay. And then the cat thing. One of my buddies worked for DAS, Dallas Animal Services. I thought you were about to say the cat was eating the dog and the human. It's a human centipede. Yeah. I thought that's where it was headed.

I was like, dang. Well, I guess I'm going to call him sick for the rest of the show now. Go ahead. See you guys next week. But this guy had hung himself, and he left a suicide note. And in it, it was my bitch of an ex-wife. I don't care about, I don't want to live anymore. I just don't want my ex-wife to get my cats.

And so he hung himself, but the cats could reach his shins. And they found him a couple days later, not a long time, and the cats, anything they could reach, so it was like from his knees down, was just bones. Jesus. And then he was just fully a body,

and then he won, though, because when animals eat people, the city puts them down. So she's not getting those cats. Nobody's getting those eat people, the city puts them down. So she's not getting those cats. Nobody's getting those cats anymore. The city puts them down. I was about to say that one lady cut the head off. Why is that?

Come on, dude. What do you mean? It's not the cat's fault. They've got the taste. I kind of agree with him slightly. It's not like, oh, they've got a taste for flesh like they're zombies or something. It's just being an animal. It's a hungry cat. It's not like, oh, they got a taste for flesh like they're zombies or something. It's just being an animal. It's a hungry cat. It's going to do hungry cat stuff.

Yeah, but I don't know. Once it's consumed a human, don't you feel like... You can't trust it. Just to be safe. I don't know. Yeah, I guess. Did my cat bite you at all this weekend? No.

Your cat's great. Yeah, Jake, that was not really good planning on your part, but I just happened to text you, I think, Saturday morning, and you're like, oh, hey, while you're texting me, you know, I'm not. I was going to hit you up anyways. We just. Oh, okay. He's like, would you go let my dog out? Because Jake lives now less than a mile away from me.

In fact. We just didn't want to have to get up and leave. I drove without my seat belt just to see how many times will the chime go off and it went off five times as i was pulling that's not a long drive as i was pulling into his driveway yeah you know every 20 seconds or so the chime real bad boy of podcast that's stressful that's some stress um all right, so Jimmy, I saw your one bit, which I bet a lot of people have seen, the would you rather hypothetical.

I wanted you to give that to Jake. Oh, okay. All right. Do you agree this is a good hypothetical? I enjoy them. I enjoy them. I'll do both. Okay, you get two.

The first one would be would you rather do the first 90 of a blow job or the last 10 percent would you rather do because i Because I... I thought about this for a long time. Like, way too long. Why? Because you have to do it to get out of this situation. You're going to die if you don't. You're going to die and your family's going to die.

And first... And your cats. They're going to slit all their throats in front of you. And then they're going to let you die after you watch your cat eat your family. And then you've got to suck his dick anyway. First 90% or the final 10%? So one thing you guys should know about me is, and this is like super, super disgusting, but I gag when I brush my teeth.

Oh. Can you ask follow-up questions? My wife has to leave the bathroom when I brush my teeth. Yeah. Because I get in there. Practice? I have a bad, bad gag thing. Mm-hmm.

So I think I might die if I chose first 90. And you've been known to eat just about anything. Yeah. I got to go last 10. I saw you once. You drank a friend's wife's breast milk in front of me. There we go. Yeah.

Wait, what else did he eat? He ate someone's booger? I'm whispering booger. This guy's screaming out cum. But I'm Is that a booger? I'm whispering booger. This guy's screaming out cum. But I'm like, what a booger. I think I ate Norm's booger. You remember? For sure, yeah.

Something like that. He definitely drank Norm's backwash one time. Something at the campground dropped on the floor and Jake picked up and ate it. I think it might have been your booger. Wasn't it like a piece of rice that was in your booger? Oh, a piece of rice was in my nose, yeah. Yeah, you snorted it out.

Yeah. Okay, so last 10%? Okay. I think it's gotta be. A man that'll finish a job. God bless. Call me Eckersley here. I think we'd work well together then. Because I think I'll take the first leg. There we go. Okay, well, teamwork

makes the dream work. It's gonna be a little wild There we go. Okay. Well, teamwork. Next remote. Makes the dream work. Next remote. It's going to be a little wild. It's nine times as long, though. And the worst part is like- It's not an easy answer. The worst part about this is like Dan was talking to me about this actually before the show. And he was like, I'm going to make this take forever.

That's what the non-specific person implies. You believe that you will be good at it. Yeah. You know? Or it's like- What was the second? 90 seconds. The 90% implies you believe that you will be good at it. Yeah. You know? Or it's like, what was the second? 90 seconds. Right, because I can get that going in 90 seconds, then he's just got 10. But yes, if I go 90 minutes.

If it's an hour and a half debacle. Yeah, yeah. All right. Okay, yeah, that was fun. I guess you just wouldn't know, though. I would know. You don't know what's the 90%. Yeah, and you don't know until though. I would know. You don't know what's the 90%. Yeah, and you don't know until you try.

You don't know. So, are both your parents alive? Yes. Okay. It's related slightly. So, would you either, you have to have sex with your mom, or your dad has sex with you? Jesus, dude. Is this what you do? These are just what you

rathers, you know? We're just asking questions, getting answers, investigating. Do you want to weigh in on this one? Also... That's right. Well, it'd be tough for Dan because he'd be getting gang banged by three different dads. Yeah, I got three dads. Three dads.

But if you take option two, then you're just, you're out of the equation kind of. I mean, it hurts and you don't like it and everything, but you're not delivering anything. Whereas the other way, you kind of have to be... Yeah, you're giving it to your mom. Yeah. Like, that feels like... Jesus. So it's certainly the lesser of two evils.

It feels like... It's not like you're saying, I hope that my dad... An act of omission versus commission type thing, right? And that's the only reason I think you would choose two. And the reason you... Yeah, like, would you even be able to do one? The logic's adding up. What if, hear me out. Okay.

Dan sucks my dad off 90%. And then he just does the last 10% of you. Both would you rather are done. Yeah, now we've satisfied this entire deal. My family's still alive. Let's just put a little button on that. Dan and I are both equally ashamed. Dad's happy.

We finally got dad's happy. Finally got the perfect answer. There it is. Alright. The internet exists. There's infinite access to it. It's crazy. There's no more finding a playboy in a creek, like that doesn't exist, it's just double penetration, 12 years old, you shouldn't see it, that's crazy, you know?

But I think I found a solution, and it's before every porn video, you have to click play, and a little 60 second timer starts, and just SAT question pops up on screen. I think that's a fantastic fix, alright? We'd fix our school system in a week. You'd have little kids running downstairs like, Dad, what are you, the Constitution side? I need to know right now. My little Timmy's always up there studying, wanna get in.

You can do like genre specific ones, you know? like if the kid Googles BBC, it's a civil rights question. You're learning while you're masturbating. It's a good thing. If he looks up anime, it's just a number to a therapist. That's all it is. You're listening to the dumb zone you're listening to the dumb zone the dumb zone the dumb zone the dumb zone the dumb zone the dumb zone the dumb zone what'd you say this is the dirtiest show we've ever done. It's trending that direction. I know, I thought, we're going to have Jimmy Nell. Oh, Firefighter? One of our American heroes. 9-11.

9-11, yeah. We celebrate 9-11 around here. I mean, we honor. We never forget it. We enjoy the fact that there's a 9-11 memorial in a strip mall near where Jake lives. You can see, actually, the photo up there next to Baker Mayfield. That's a Tex-Mex restaurant called Mesa. Okay.

How they got one out front? In Grapevine, yeah. God bless them. Yeah. There you go. And apparently it's because there's an airport nearby. Yeah. Really?

Don't you think it's just weird that Grapevine has an island memorial? All airports, just half of them now. And if you can see next to Mesa right there, you see an available commercial real estate. Where I feel our studio should relocate. Yeah. If we ever move. Wouldn't that be great? Move all this stuff, though?

Are you not going to play the no puppet thing? Oh, geez. I forgot. I wouldn't have done it. Now, yeah. Now it's like, hey. I got to give people what they want. You forgot me, dude.

There should be a little more me on the show. Mavs, before we get to just all the other stuff. Mavs, indeed. I did want to just play the one Luca video that surfaced over the weekend. Dude, I watched a 15-minute video. Just came up, you know,

your... the algorithm or whatever. Sure. And my wife was sitting there too and she's like, I have chills because it was this video. I got to send it to you guys. It was about. Get on the lawnmower.

Yeah. She loves the riding lawnmower, Jimmy. She, no, it was like what, just the history of Luka Doncic. Yeah. And they were showing him as like a 12-year-old dominating 16-year-olds. I told you. And then they were showing him as a 16-year dominating 20 year old. And like it was incredible. And it just, the rise and who he was. And I mean how young he

looked even when he started with the Mavs. Yeah. Like I can't believe I kind of think of him as one of the young guys in the NBA still. Yeah. But he looks, I don't know. It's an incredible story. It definitely is. And somebody sent us the article that Mina Kimes wrote when he was still in Europe this weekend. It was like, hey, have you ever read this? I'm like, dude, I've read this like 10 times. Okay, I marked it.

I didn't read it yet. Well, it basically was like the first time that I ever had heard about him. I think Damaris had told me his name, but I didn't know much about him. But it was very clear, like, when you read that, like, he's not Dirk. You know what I mean? Like, he's driving, like, a $400,000 car around Madrid when he's, like, 17.

So did they... Was he making money then? Yeah. Okay, so they pay their players at that age? Okay. Yeah, I mean, they're not making NBA money. Yeah, but... But they're making money. Money to drive an awesome car? Yeah. Okay, so they pay their players at that age? Okay. Yeah, I mean, they're not making NBA money. Yeah. But they're making money. Money to drive an awesome car. Yeah. Yeah. And he's always, so he's not, like, Dirk didn't know he was a top 10

NBA player of all time. No. He thought, if I could make the league somehow. Yeah. Like, there was a time where Dirk wanted to go home in the first year yeah and had to be convinced by both big and little whistle that you can do this and dude he was getting booed off the floor I remember whenever I was a kid like my dad and my dad's friends hated Dirk and Steve Nash. Soft Euros, white. Soft white foreigners. Even Canada.

Yeah. It's just like there's no way. It's never going to work. Luka's never had that problem. You know, he's been the best player at every level he's ever been at within a year. Two years, maybe. So, yeah. So, I just thought this was funny.

Somebody put this together from Game 5. If you want to play it, video man. Dancing on Rudy. Yelling, you can't do nothing. Here's the court link pass to Lively where Lively got attacked. Luffy yelling, come on, man. What the fuck was that, man? What the fuck are you doing, man?

Shut the fuck up, pussy. McDaniels has no chance to paint there shot of Snoop yeah he just doesn't stop. So clearly somebody on the baseline was like, you're crying the whole game. Yeah, I think they were giving the cry face. The cry fist into your eyes.

Hits the end one and he's like, who's crying now, MF-er? Have you seen the Anthony Edwards one? The Anthony Edwards one made me like Anthony Edwards even more. He hates Carl Anthony Towns. Anthony Edwards does? Yes. Yeah. But they were in the press conference together

just having all this fun. Maybe Cat's cool off the court, but yeah, he's a bitch. Ant's yelling at him like, run back

over and over. Oh, wow. He's like, just pass me the ball and then like the next clip he's like just you need to start running back wow and there's one shot cat i think shot a corner three and before it even missed anthony edwards just slumps yeah anson alpha cat is not yeah yeah he's gonna be pretty good this time will come i mean he's pretty good now but

Yeah, he's going to be pretty good. His time will come. I mean, he's pretty good now, but he's not Jordan quite yet. No, and what's weird about it is, like, Luka's never really had a series like that. Like, even from the first time they were ever in the playoffs, there's never been a series where Luka was just like, yeah, what if I just came out and had, like, 18-5 for a three-game stretch? No, his bad games are, yeah.

Triple doubles? Luka was bad. He scored 28, 10, and 9. And you're like games are, yeah. Triple doubles? Luka was bad. He scored 28, 10, and 9. And you're like, yeah, but that's not a Luka. I mean, Luka would tell you it was a bad game. He's on a different level. Yeah. And didn't we talk about this last week?

Just a guy that seems so different on the court and off. Yeah. Like, LeBron seems like the same guy. Yes. it was the night that he was. Like LeBron seems like the same guy. Yes. It was the night that he was yelling at Gobert. Kobe's kind of the same guy. Yes. I think Luka is embarrassed about what a psychopath he becomes.

Yeah. I don't think he likes being asked about it. He's sheepish off the court. Yeah. And then he gets on there and he's effing Jordan. Kyrie's kind of the same on the other side of things, where he just generally seems like a pretty chill guy, like in postgame and on the floor.

Yeah, he's never screaming at refs. Not too much. That's why if he's even questioning a call, I kind of think— Probably a bad call. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do this real quick. Oh, yeah, wait a minute, Uncle Hotmail.

Viewer mail. I already showed you some things that people have sent to our house, my house, which is now my home away from home, but it's my actual home. And I got a couple birthdays. We start with, hey, Dan, Ron Eberle here. we start with hey Dan Ron Eberle here Ron was a guy who would

co-host with my buddy Rick in Ohio that podcast remember I do and then Rick died R.I.P. moment of silence for Rick way to bring that up woo Moment of silence for Rick. Way to bring that up, Blake. Woo! Anyway, his birthday, it's his Jerry Shirk birthday.

He was a Cleveland Brown. Okay. He said, it's the third anniversary of my 69th birthday. Nice. Let's see He says a suggestion Oh good Please stop ending shows with silence After Adios Mofos

You have a wealth of listener produced gems A la mom I wanna vape and blah blah blah So Really I thought we always play that stuff you had it too I'll check what a mystery do you always you're the one who I'm pretty sure I put a song at the end of every show yeah all right well Ron Rachel's saying we do Ron is saying that you don't necessarily do that and then he's upset that he can't determine his subscriber day and number.

And he wants to know. And he sent us his email. Will you take care of that for him? Yeah, I guess. Okay. Anything else Ron needs taken care of? Yeah, I got a tip for Ron. Why don't you buy a coffin?

Oh, no. If you can't figure this shit out on your own, take a hike. I want to end with Blake being really upset because he says, P.S. more Blake. He wants more of you. All right, Ron, hit me up. I'll help you out. Well played, Ron.

Uncle Hotmail, my Maxi Kleber birthday was Sunday. My wife informed me yesterday she's taking our kids to her mom's beach house for four days during the NBA finals with the kids' friends, so there's no room for me in the car. I almost cried. I might cry for you. My leaders are Jake, Copernicus' aides. What is that?

Kimspin, you got anything? I feel like Copernicus existed quite a bit before HIV, so I don't recall. It's always got to be a first. Seven-digit lawyer bills, Blake's six-digit salary, and the three digits that old girl was getting on Jake's lake house picnic table. From day one, subby 36, James Stathopolo. Just to be clear, I actually never saw any digital manipulation in that particular scene.

It was this part. Is there any way to catch up, Jimmy, like in a 30-second story on that or no? Lake House, three fingers and a lady? Yeah, so my wife and I several years ago bought a house in Granbury, a real dump, and remodeled it. Okay. And we Airbnb it.

And one time, we're like on a canal. So the backyard is almost like the front yard. The backyard is like where everybody spends their time. There's a other house on the other side of the canal Several of them And a lady called me A lady in her 70s One Sunday and was like I need to talk to you about something I saw at your house

Last night From across the canal And I was like oh that's horrible She's like are you out here right now I'm like no you know we're renting Which is a little bit touchy anyways with the HOA. And she was like, yeah. I mean, in not so many words.

She was like, there were two women. One of them was performing oral sex on the other one from behind. And there was a man masturbating next to them. Gaffar. I know. on the other one from behind and there was a man masturbating next to them guffaw i know and i was uh i i for whatever reason i like didn't believe it was she an older lady uh the lady who called me was a grandmother like 70s can you imagine that grandpa just in the other room with a telescope like shut the fuck up meredith so uh i didn't i don't know like initially was so taken aback i didn't really believe it we called the tenants and it was a lady who had rented the house for her and her parents and her parents friends hell yeah so it was her mom and her mom's

friend and her mom's boyfriend god that would really change family vacay yes so many things are happening out there so i call i call this lady and I'm like, listen, this is super uncomfortable, but this is what I'm hearing. And they say that they're going to call the HOA. And she's like, that absolutely did not happen. We all went to bed around 10 o'clock. And so I called the lady back and told her what she said.

And then the lady said, why don't you look at your text messages? And she sent me a photo. Multiple. Hell yeah. So then I had to send this tenant a photo of her mom eating some puss i don't know which side of it she was i don't know which side of it she was on to be honest but she was involved yeah yeah and she's like oh my god

i'm so sorry and she's like we're leaving now. I'm like, I think that's probably. We're running away from this. Probably for the best. Yeah. Yeah. That's a wild one. Yeah. They pay for the whole trip? They did.

They had two more nights left. Yeah. God bless. Yeah. And they left. You could probably get something on eBay for that picnic table. Probably so. Carped out?

Yeah. Dear Comedy Fuhrer, it is my Jose Canseco birthday. Twice in one show. The Vinny Testaverde song is my leader, no puppet, from Jared Flush. Tio Correo Caliente. Yep. It is day two, number 1063's Ryan Zembower's Neil Heaton birthday. Add anything to the repertoire?

His leaders are Jake's Javier Shakespearean monologue, that bitch from the Slovenian event center, and TC's recent auction win. Blake didn't seem too impressed with the hard-earned cash I sent last week for my brother's birthday shout-out, so I doubled it this time. Oh, wow. What did he send? You're welcome.

I think $3. Yeah, a dollar for each of us. That's from Jason... That is 100% in agree. ...Mikshowski. Mikshowski. My name is Troy, day five. D.F. It is my wife's, my wife Lindsay's Dirk birthday.

Let's see. She says she likes the pod more than the radio. She says more news. Like twice a day? I don't know. She's not directing that at me. Yeah. You're the news guy.

I do news when you throw it to news. Hey, Hotmail Dan, it's my husband Phillip's Gaylord Perry birthday today. This is just getting too far. Well, it used to be that you'd guess what that number was, and you didn't even care anymore. I don't remember Gaylord Perry's number, no. His leaders are Jake's Kemp Spins and Blake playing video games and ignoring his child from Haley Markham.

And I have one email that has nothing to do with birthdays. It is a guy, we were talking about the Kemp Spin Mount Rushmore. Yeah. Jake has the ability to um

if someone has had a brush with the law or just Yeah. Jake has the ability to... If someone has had a brush with the law or just something nefarious in their background... Like if you have a scandals and controversy tab on your Wikipedia, which I assume one day you will... One can only hope. I'll remember it. Jake just knows it off the top of his head. Yeah. I'm up to almost 500 now. So you want to put that picture up? Or do you want me to?

I actually can. You go ahead and do it, video man, if you got it. Definitely belongs on the Mount Rushmore. Yeah, that's Craig Sager. So tell everybody, what's Craig Sager's Kemp Spin? Well, so Craig Sager got, I believe, a particularly aggressive form of cancer. And he – that's not the chemspin i was about to make fun of his jacket i'm glad i didn't well no you can okay wait a second um his

son actually underwent a bone marrow transplant which is apparently like extremely painful it's way more than just like giving blood and his son did that to keep him alive for a little bit. At the same time that his son and I believe his daughter were cut out of his will. So that he could leave everything to the Chicago Bulls dancer. That he married after divorcing their mother. But he had funny jackets. So everyone's like what a cool guy. But he's a stone cold prick and a bad person.

And that's what a Kemp Spin is. And that's how you make Mount Rushmore. Can I have my computer for a second, video man? Because I did want to show this to Blake. This, of course, is... Oh, no. I think I saw it. What do we have here?

This is... Dream Dodgeball. This is Dude Perfect being Fortnite. They got into Fortnite? Like they're in the game. Look, you're not

shooting bullets at people. You're shooting soccer balls. That's awesome. Yeah, I can't wait to play this. Oh, look at this part where they're shooting the word of God at each other. Look, you can play as Tyler and Tony.

Are they super religious? Yes. There you go. Dude, perfect. Isn't that awesome? Look at him. Dude, Tyler is in Fortnite. Aren't you fired up about that?

No. God, I hope my son doesn't get into it. He will. Why do you hate Dude Perfect, man? Okay, so my daughters got to review some music. got to review some music. But before we do that, we did just want to tell you that,

you know, especially with this weather out there, Jake, really can make the roads rough for you. Lots of car accidents. Yes. And what would you do if you got in a car accident? I would call the Frankels. Frankel and Frankel at 214 or 817 333-3333. And I would actually say

that if you're anywhere near Dan's vehicle on the road, have this number saved. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous because you'll be fine if you're near me because I'll just go past you and you will not have any problem. You know, it's the guy that will frustrate you that's going very, very, very slow in

that far left lane. I do go very slow. I don't do it in the left lane. So that shot doesn't even land. But if, but if I, if I pass you, if Blake passes you, everything's going to be fine. Cause if everybody drove like us, you wouldn't need the Frankel. There would be no traffic at all. Yeah.

Everything would be fine. But everyone does it. Unfortunately. Yes. need the frankel there would be no traffic at all yeah everything would be fine but everyone doesn't unfortunately yes there are jakes that will just drive in the far left lane or uh do all kinds of weird stuff uh and then they'll they'll be in the far left lane and then realize real late oh my gosh this is my exit and then they'll try to get across and then you get an accident what do you need to know when you get in that you we don't want you to get an accident no like the frankels don't even want you to get an an accident. No. Like, the Frankles don't even want you to get in an accident. But if you do...

Call them. You should call them. Consultation's free. For real? You know what I know? Absolutely free. You'll talk to a partner. Like, you're not going to just talk to a secretary or whatever.

You will talk to one of the partners. Maybe Mark. Maybe Scott. Those are the Frankles. Or Gene Burkett. Great dude. Who we have had lunch with. We've broken bread.

Great shoes. With Gene Burkett. I didn't notice we have had lunch with. We've broken bread. Great shoes. With Gene Burkett. I didn't notice his shoes. What was he wearing? Jays. What does that mean? I'm not a shoe guy. Jordans.

Oh, okay. We can just go Jays? Yeah, that's common. The room is nodding. Oh, okay. Jays. Jays was above board. Okay, I thought Jay-Z had some shoes or something.

No. Okay. Anyways. So Gene Burkett. Yeah, 817 or 214, all threes. Where's George? And they'll help you out of your car accident. And did you know, I-30 and I-35, two of the most dangerous highways in America. I believe it. And we have

them right here. All right. How about that? Dallas, Dallas, Dallas. Pretty sure our firefighters here are aware of this. Frankel and Frankel. Not like those Adler dirt bags. I don't know if we can do that or not. Unless they've been a sponsor at some point in time in the past.

I don't know. I don't know who that is. All I know is Frankel and Frankel. They're the only lawyers I've ever heard of, actually. That's right. That's who I stare at. Good work. Yeah. All right. Thanks, fellas. So yeah, call Frankel and Frankel. They're the only lawyers I've ever heard of, actually. That's right. That's who I stare at. Good work. Yeah. Alright. Thanks, fellas. So yeah, call Frankel and Frankel, like if you get in an accident. I mean, I suppose you could just call and

talk Mavs. If you just want to ask what kind of shoes he has, maybe something like that. Yeah. But yeah, there you go. That's enough of that. Now we will move on to our next guest who has been sitting in with Jimmy, and he is Grady Spencer. Meet Grady.

Hey, fellas. It's an honor. Thank you all for letting me chill here. So what we have had over the very organically is we will have people sit in and just sit in and watch the show for $690. This all happened because once we first started this venture, we started charging $690 per month, and we still charge that. The very low price of $6.90 per month for two paid episodes a week. You're going to get eight to ten episodes of a podcast for only $6.90, which is, it's kind of like stealing a podcast. It really is.

Yeah. I mean, a bargain at 200 times the price. So one of our listeners named Scene, remember him? Yeah. S-E-A-N. He actually sent me a check for $690 because he just wanted to support the cause. We're fighting the man. We're doing our own thing. He wants to help us out.

So I sent him back a thank you note and my phone number and said, hey, appreciate that. He lives in my hometown. So I said, if you ever need anything, give me a call. Well, he texted and said, hey, appreciate that. He lives in my hometown. So I said, you know, if you ever need anything, give me a call. Well, he texted and said, hey, I'd like to sit in on the show. So we had him on. We just talked about the fact that, hey, out of nowhere, you just sent me a $690 check. That was really cool. You know, I bet if I wonder if somebody else wanted to send us $690, they could sit where you're sitting right now, scene. And lo and behold, lots of people have done that.

So that become an organic thing where people will just pay us to just sit in and watch the show and they're supporting the cause and everything like that. So everything's great. Well, Grady also wants to support the cause and sent an email in April,

which said, obviously. how would you not be a big fan? I'll pull out the DF number right now. He said, you have your number. You know exactly when you subscribe. You read. I'll look it up. I have a screenshot. Okay.

Yeah. As a fellow small business owner, because that's what we are, I've been brainstorming on ways to promote my band's new single that we're releasing next week. Facebook ads, influencer campaigns, all gross and lame. Then it hit me. Why not pop off on a sit-in and see the dumb zone? And what he basically wants to do here is

y'all to mention and plug my band's song. He said it would take roughly 230,000 downloads to offset the 690, but maybe it'd be worth it. The business model seems broken. It is. I mean, the whole music world is broken, but yes. So actually what's interesting here is that i think i remember this as he wanted us to just play his song uh but he's saying we could have just mentioned it and just plugged it probably should have just

done that i should have just done that we wouldn't have had to go through all this we went through a lot of work man yeah i appreciate it because all the time all the many emails i think we emailed back and forth like 20 times with this guy so um i ended up calling you yeah and said you know that's just not what we do we're not going to listen to it just sit and listen to your song and i was kind of thinking like what if we hate it sure and might as well have patent you know i don't know yeah yeah uh i don't even know what you just said was that a sentence i don't know okay might as well have patent. You know, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I don't even know what you just said. Was that a sentence? I don't know. Okay.

Might as well have happened. It might as well have happened. Yeah. I don't know. That was a weird sentence. Apologies. All right. So I called you and you're familiar with my daughters.

Yes. Yeah. My daughters are both college age now. They're like 20 and 18. But they're really sweet individually. But when they get together, they just have this superpower, and they will just hammer anything that they see. They just love to watch Love Island together.

They were watching Alien this last weekend and just ripping the movie. They're just, whatever they do. They're terrifying. I said, how about if you just review, would you let my daughters review your song? Yeah. And, because we want that 690. Yeah. You know?

Who doesn't? Hell yeah. Yeah. And then Grady, for some reason, said yes. And so you heard a little of the conversation that I had with my daughters the other day. But, yeah, we got together this weekend as they were both in town. Yeah. And we listened to your song.

Why would anyone subject themselves to this? I don't know. It's just such a bad idea. Well, I think it's like, yeah like yeah i mean like i said in the email like you you know as a small business owner you're always trying to promote yourself like this is uh something that i'm a fan of already uh so yeah why not uh why not get a little run through the mud like jimmy's a professional comedian i promise you they don't think you're funny who you none my daughters probably wouldn't oh yeah oh no you don't want it you they don't think you're funny who you none my daughters probably wouldn't

oh yeah oh no oh you don't want it yeah you don't want it i do want to say that the guy that emailed y'all on behalf of me colvatolo sitting right here is a uh big fan of you guys and is a big fan of this young man right here oh wow and was actually super excited when we were walking in the door together he's like grady spencer That's what I said, too. Yeah. Yeah. So that's the beauty of it is like, you know, I don't think this is going to break my career, but it might. This could be the end.

But, you know, it's already, you know, I might have already peaked anyway. Do you have a small clip of them roasting Jake or me and Jake just to set the scene for Jimmy? clip of them roasting Jake or me and Jake just to set the scene for Jimmy? That would have been cool to ask me to cue that up ahead of time. Just asking now. On the fly. And if not, we don't have to.

No, I don't really. I mean, I have the rejoin that I would sometimes play. We could do that. You're listening to The Dumb Zone Or I mean that is stupid

I actually don't know What's worth the hang zone Or the dumb zone What's worse What's worse Eden Like you stole The name from something else The hang zone

Already a horrible name Yeah but the hang zone Already a terrible name So I don't really know That's not your thing That's like Naming your show the simpsons yeah calling it the samsons like it's not it's not really giving creativity giving yeah i think

i think what's going on here yeah dude what's what's more terrifying is i have a 10 year old daughter and she's already kind of starting to veer into this lane and i'm just like oh yeah i've already lost yeah years ago there's no way okay so i sat him down this weekend um we put headphones on and uh we listened to your song yeah and so i laid out to them the exact same thing i just laid out to you the whole history of the 690 thing how this came about and why they are sitting up here they're pretty fired up to hear that whole backstory well there was a lot of back and forth, and I cut that out here. Real quick, one of them actually is a music, like she plays music, right? She's a music band or something?

One of them was in the marching band in Clemson, but the other one's very artistic. I'm sure she's going to really pull out music theory and really attack it. Maybe, I don't know. She's not going to be nice to you, Grady. I know. Dang, dude, I'm trying to get brownie points. You never know. That's true. I never know.

Good idea. Alright, just if you want to pause it, tell me pause or whatever. I'm here for the ride. Anybody that wants to stop the audio, we'll stop the audio, okay? The name of the group is Grady, Spencer and The Work.

Stop it. My chest is hurting. We're five seconds in, guys. That wasn't even a word. That was just air leaving a human body. Oh, man, dude. I don't know if I'm ready. This is your last chance to back out. Yeah, no, dude. Oh, my God. I don't know if I'm ready. This is your last chance to back out.

Yeah, no, go ahead. The name of the group is Grady, Spencer, and The Work. Yeah, I'm good. Thank you, though. Wow. I feel like I've really been taken there. Why is everything throwing back to 1950s with the and the do you know what i mean and the work the i mean that is good luck i would not

no if i saw that name on spotify i would not listen. Like, 100%, I'm not listening. Definitely not. Like, it sounds old. Like, they've already aged themselves. They've already blocked out an entire demographic. They're a cover band. Well, I believe they play original stuff. He said he had an original song.

What's the genre? How old is he? 70 or what? Let's just listen. You tell What's the genre? How old is he? 70 or what? Let's just listen and you tell me what the genre is, okay? Ready? You ready? I'm going to need this audio for after, by the way. 70 or what?

Let's just listen and you tell me what the genre is, okay? You ready? You ready? Yeah. You can tell me to pause it or whatever, whenever you want. Stop. Okay. Hey, learn that one from Mike Reiner.

You can tell me to pause it or whatever, whenever you want. Out. Stop. Okay. Peek. All right, this is the start. I've been busy, it's been crazy. Oh, my, my, my baby got a new dress on. A little bit and a little while. A couple songs and a couple days.

Not laughing now, are you? Yeah. Let's see. Like when everyone's quiet at dinner. Oh, here we go. Oh, no. This guy started doing a touchdown dance a little early. Pause.

They got to pick if they're country or not. Dang, she's so so right She is right there Pause They gotta pick if they're country or not I was gonna say Make a choice I literally don't get it at all Cause at first I was like okay

It's like a little weird Indie the honeycombs Type beat But then he starts Putting on the accent is he just from a little weird indie The Honeycombs type beat. Yeah, funky. But then he starts putting on the accent. Is he just from Texas or is he trying to do something there?

It was giving nothing. But also I was trying to stay silent because I was like I'm going to give him his money's worth. Let me reimburse him. I'm going to do the work that I was paid for, which is nothing. I'm getting $0 from this.

We're still poor, even with your $6.90. So am I. So am I. You know what it's called? My baby got a new dress on. You know what it's called? My baby got a new dress on. Oh, my, my, parentheses, my baby got a new dress on. This is one of those songs that is, like, so uber specific.

Like, all those country songs that are, like, they're called, like, drinking on a boat, and all the lyrics are, I drove to the lot, I went to the dock dock I got on the boat I drank some beer That's what it sounds like Wait the breakdown? It's called New Dress Yeah baby got a new dress on What's the album called? I went to the store

And bought her a dress And then she put it on And then she got a new dress What's the album? I don't know anything About the album All I know about this is Thorin bought her a dress and then she put it on and she got a new dress. What's the album? I don't know anything about the album. See, you guys didn't even properly promote this right. Dang.

No album name? You could have sent that along, couldn't you? Just a single. I feel like I've heard the chorus seven times so far. No, yeah, because it's one of those songs that starts out with the chorus, and then it has like the two-second verse. I haven't even heard the verse. It works for Pink Panther, it doesn't work for this. You know?

If you want to like mid-max how good your song is going to be, really optimize it, then you have to make sure that the good parts are actually good. Which I fear we forgot. Wait, I really wish. I really wish. So mean. I like this guitar. Fair. Okay.

To my buddy. Yeah. I hate them, my baby! You're in the background. It's so... Just run through. I stepped away from the mic for a moment. Is it like the background vocals? What is going on?

Is that really what that is? That's what it's meant to emulate. That is horrend. I hate when people say that. it's meant to emulate. That is horrendous. I hate when people say that. Oh, horrendous. Horrendous. There's got to be a specific type of song. I thought you said you were just going to play us a snippet.

We've been here for like seven minutes. No, he said snippet, but he lied. Nope. Yep, nope. I mean, it really, as my mother would say, it's a bit of a dirge. It kind of just drones on, doesn't it? It does give Take Me to Church. I mean, I've really gotten the main point of the song, though.

I mean, they wanted to convey that his baby has a new dress on. Right, so he bought his little baby, which is a little creepy, a new dress. Don't know what that means. So he has money. It does make sense that these are the guys who are listening to Dad. How did we catch a straight here? It does make sense that these are the guys

who are listening to Dad. Yeah, Hundo. I mean, they kind of take one thing and they just ram it into the ground until it dies. No puppet? Not even until it dies. It's dead and they're literally smearing the remains all in the gravel. The dumb zone's dead.

The hang zone's dead. The hang zone was never alive. I hated that. And they just can't let that go, so I mean, I understand. Did you use the term horrend? It slipped out. Perhaps I may have. goes, so I mean, I understand. Did you use the term horrend? Perhaps. It slipped out. Perhaps, I may have. It happens, it happens.

Well, that's a nice one in the vocab. It's been there for a minute and it's not leaving. What are you writing? Horrend in quotes? You don't need to look at my notes. We're not here to evaluate my notes. What are you writing down? You wanted us to be mean. We're not here to evaluate my notes.

Hey, you wanted us to be mean. I did not want you to be mean. I just want you to be you. Just don't give us ammo then. So we're mean. Be better. Do better. All right, one final thing,

because I didn't even know you knew about, so No Puppet, you're familiar with that? I slipped up. I know the lore. What did you say? The lore. What did you slip up that? I slipped up. I know the lore. What did you say? The lore. What did you slip up with? I hate.

I know his company name. No Puppet. I hate that. I don't know that lore. What do you mean? What are you asking me? What does that even mean? It's called No Puppet Productions, our new company.

Yeah. Yeah. NPP. What does that stand for? No PP? Yeah, it's not it. It's like NPR. NPP what does that stand for no pee pee don't really get it it's like NPR but for babies I'm just looking for some stupid innuendo that I would have heard about in third grade

NPR but for girls NPP NPP for the less fortunate so Ava is this song going on your playlist or what? Or what? I don't know or what. Sorry, I had a little tickle.

It won't be going on mine and I don't think that I'll be checking out... The work. Oh, you remember. That's all I remember. I guess it's stuck. It didn't stick for me. I won't be checking them out.

I didn't like it. Yeah, it's going to be no for me, boss. Sorry about that. Well, there you go. Grady, Spencer, and the work. All right. Thanks. It's so good.

Golly. That's of course where they you know, when I signed off they were A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some R for the crowd. A little bit of A or some I love the reddit I want to be mentioned on the reddit

I want people to tell me to kill myself on the reddit yeah I don't even well there you go guys that's the The Rose Twins My daughter's evaluating your album I like it I like the song as well

Yeah, thank you, gentlemen Thank you You're welcome Yeah, I mean, they're not wrong I mean, that's probably why I'm not more far along in my career Because people are always like, are you country? Are you a hipster or what? But, I mean, I grew up kind of where Danny Bay bayless grew up like i think we were in the same district

playing football so like it's just how i talk so i don't know not that they would care but that's just uh yeah you can't yeah explain yourself to them i don't think there's no logic i'd like to go point by point with their criticism For sure There's no winning a debate No Like I said before we rolled I kind of figured They weren't going to like it It's a catchy song

I feel like there were times where they almost allowed themselves To say that they didn't like it But then they realized That's lame of me I'm choogy you know i don't know if that word is even still popular but like that's horrendous you know yeah it's horrendous it's giving horrendous and uh you know i'm just happy that you know that they took time out of their day to do that yeah do you feel like this is they were bitching about not getting paid also i

know oh yeah yeah yeah yeah well yeah and they were like, oh, he's so rich. I'm definitely not, so it's a small, very small business. Well, they think we're unemployed. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, no, I mean, that's... We're giving poverty. Hey, if anybody else wants whatever they love reviewed... Yeah. Maybe the next

single, yeah, or when I actually have a full album, maybe we'll do this again. Yeah, evaluate the looks of your potential fiancé or something like that. I'm sure they'll just let them review. They could review your business. If anybody feels like feeling bad for a spell, come on down. Yeah, dude, that's right. Yeah, I think it's hilarious that—

Oh, what, do you put out fires? Yeah, yeah. Cool. Yeah, I bet they wouldn't just go out on their own. You got me. Long enough timeline, they all go out. Yeah. That's true.

That's true. That's fantastic, man. Yeah, that's exactly what I was hoping for. Okay. Because we play frat parties sometimes and things like that, and I'm looking around, and I'm like, this is not hitting. Like, I wish it would hit, but the money pays. So I'm like, well, we'll just keep doing it.

We know a little something about that. Yeah, y'all know what's up. Yeah. Yeah. Doing stuff and it not hitting. That's right. That's why you got to build an ecosystem, you know, just where people like you. That's it.

Well, yeah. You mentioned something the other day. I was like, I think it might've been a jab at Patreon by 80% of questions about that later on about small business stuff. But, um, I think you said it off kind of under your breath.

Oh, what? Mad with like Patreon. Yeah. What Patreon they take. Yeah. I've heard a lot of story. I don't have a Patreon,

but what is it? 80. We get 82%. I believe so. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard a lot of stories. I don't have a Patreon, but. What is it? 80. We get 82%? I believe so. Yeah. Yeah. Of your. I mean, yeah.

That's pretty. Yeah. So they're doing numbers like y'all. That's substantial. So they take 18%. Yeah. Yeah. It seems like they take a lot, but I mean, what are we going to do?

That's true. Start our own Patreon? Dude, that's me. Yeah. We tried to start our own radio station and look where we ended up. I mean, this is pretty legit. I mean,

this building, I've been in this building once before. I was like, well, these guys are doing it. So, um, yeah,

this is awesome. It's really cool. Hey, thanks man. The backdrop is well ironed. Well, yeah. It looks great.

Steamed it out. Yeah. Sup Rob. Yep. Looks great. Yeah. No, we don't,

it's good to have girls like that, I think, though. They keep you. Keep you humble. Yeah. Like, we should bring them. Yeah, I hear you got, oh, this is a great studio. I'll bring them in. Yeah, yeah.

For sure. You really want to know. For sure. Yeah. I mean, I think that's, like, the main reason you have a wife, right? Yeah. Is just to shit talk you. Yeah.

Keep you straight. Yeah, and be like, you're nothing, you're a loser, I could do better than you. Right. Some of those felt specific. Theoretically, yeah. You have a tiny, yeah. Alright, let's move on to this.

Because there was a request for more of this. So one thing that we don't really think about with the big weather over the last week is how this affects the animal population. The All-American Dog Shelter in Denton County, this is in Pilot Point, had over 50 homeless dogs. Like, I guess they just get out. Wait, they become homeless because of the weather? Yeah. Like people, like the power goes out or they. Fences get blown down.

Fences get blown down is a big, big part of it. Tree falls on your house. My power went out yesterday. It was only for like 20 minutes, but I was not expecting that to happen a second time i heard a lot of people in dallas went out again yeah yeah you guys ours was out for six hours or something kick back on but he lives down the street and his was off for four or five days hey isn't it true that you want to live near a fire station that's what i've always heard because that grid the power will never go out.

I've heard stuff like that, or by a hospital, things like that. But we have all backup generators. So when our power kicks on, the generator kicks on, and it's like a big diesel thing in the back hidden somewhere. Damn. So I'm sure hospitals have similar setups. That's what the fire department has, backup generators. Yeah.

Okay. I feel like that's definitely true. That makes sense. You know, there's that really cool-looking fire department has back up generators. Okay. I feel like that's definitely true because when I, you know, there's that really cool looking fire department by Yates. Like the real modern one over by where we live. Oh, the grapevine. It's a grapevine one. Yeah.

When I drove by there the other day, every street light was out. Everything was off. But they had lights. Yeah, it might be the generator thing. That makes sense. Yeah. That would make sense more than like the whole grid. It's being connected to it or something.

I don't know. Yeah. Why did I think that? I thought that. I've heard that before. I have heard that. During the freeze. Yeah. Yeah, the freeze.

Because I think people that live near the children's hospital, like that's important. What a bold stance you made. Are you sure? Why should the children's hospital get priority a bold stance you made. Are you sure? Why should the children's hospital get priority over our street? Think they're better than us? I pay more taxes than they do. That's true. Sick kids don't pay shit.

No. No. Anyways, shout out to dogs. Oh, yeah, yeah. Dogs are homeless. The news news i was asking you guys about this this morning uh i was very confused by this story um but there was apparently like a glitch with the stock exchange today did you see this i saw that like 99 down on all these blue chip stocks yeah like berkshire hathaway's like grade stock lost 99% of its value over a 15-minute span.

It went from $600,000 to $115, and a substantial number of people noticed this right away and made a couple hundred million dollars on a $500 purchase right away. Really? And then they delisted it. So it was just a glitch. So where does that couple hundred million come from? Where does it go? How do they get it? What do you mean?

The people that made the money? It sounds like it was like- There's a glitch. They make $200 million. Who? Where? Where is it? How do we get it?

Well, we don't. How do they get it? You buy it at a certain price, and then whenever it skyrockets back up to its normal price, But I mean, if it really goes down, that's because people have sold it, and there is actual exchange. Or there's a problem. Yes. But if this is a glitch, where does the $200 million come from?

I'll bet the government just prints more that's a problem in the first place that's right that's why i just saved gold in my uh shelter my storm shelter i uh i just buy uh gold trump coins oh from. From Fox News. That's perfect. I noticed there's a particular member of our gallery laughing pretty hard at the idea of so many hawking Trump coins. What do you mean? Perhaps based on...

Pass. Oh, okay. Pass. But what do you got there, Chief? I forgot. Grady brought us... Yeah, I got merch for everybody. But what do you got there, Chief? I forgot. Grady brought us... Yeah, I got merch for everybody. So good.

I got everybody. I'm going to put on my Grady Spencer merch. Thanks, man. A woman in Arlington, if we go back to the weather, died while trimming branches over the weekend. She died doing what she loved. Cleaning up. she died doing what she loved cleaning up 62 year old woman was trimming a tree that had fallen on the roof when one of the limbs snapped

that trim on trim crime got her I see where the daughters get it from the guys walk around locked and loaded like that yeah he's on his game today it's the hat that was actually he put the hat on and felt the power yeah it's actually the second person in arlington who had died uh just that week guy died while trimming a tree in arlington after he hit a power line let

me tell you something i'm calling help it's just not even like it's not even a question i'm calling help. It's just not even, like, it's not even a question. I'm calling these guys. Or I'm sending my wife out to do it. You're like, oh, two birds, one stone. Yeah, you know. Remember how great that just Saturday night was? What if we just made that live? All Saturday nights.

Right. Next thing you know. But that would ruin that Saturday night. Cats eating her shins. You know, that'd be the problem. Well. Just, you know, can you imagine all that Saturday night. The cat's eating her shins. You know, that'd be the problem. Well. Just, you know, can you imagine all the stuff you'd have to go through? Yeah, call everybody, plan a funeral.

Yeah, you don't want to do that. Cash out the life insurance. I bet by like a weekend you're like, this fucking rules. I don't know. And she would say the same thing about me, too. Oh, yeah. If she was able to get rid of me without having to tell my kids that she divorced me, she would. Yes, and cash in with the life insurance.

Yeah, but who's going to change the input from the cable box to smart TV? I'll tell you what. That's funny, because when I met my wife, she didn't know she had an HD television. Oh, it was all like blurry? Yeah, I was like, what is this? Where did you get this? And she's like, well, it's channel 8. And I'm like,

go to 1008. You have an HD television. And she's like, whoa. But the frustrating part is they don't really notice. I remember when HD was brand new new i thought it looked weird like you'd put football games on and be like it's a little too much see like this is hey i don't need to see every blade of grass yeah now you watch old highlights from like 2009 filmed on a fucking game boy what's going on right now but i told you my wife's addicted to TV. Yeah. Riding the lawnmower

and TV. And so since we're out internet this week, somehow, she has figured out, it must be through the daughters, that she can hotspot the TV onto her phone.

And she never can do anything, technology-wise. But because TV was out of her life... She'll figure it out. She figured it out, yes. By the way, I started Beef. So good. The show?

Yeah, I don't know. It's definitely very, very good, but it... It's very tense. As advertised, makes me extremely anxious, which is something I don't really need a ton of help with. That's like that. What's the Adam Sandler gambling movie? Uncut Gems.

Like you can't watch that, right? I did, but I don't want to see it again. Very tense. Yeah. My dad was bad with technology. And I remember he they got netflix at their house and he just thought it was like a magic thing that had all the movies he's like he'd call me and be like hey i want to turn netflix on and i'd have to walk him through the steps to get to it and then he was like all right now uh play the godfather and i was like uh they don't have godfather on netflix

and he's like what is this bullshit then like it's not just infinite on Netflix. And he's like, what? What's this bullshit then? Is that just infinite movies for you? And he's like, all right, turn it off. That sort of felt like it first when Netflix first came out because it was Blockbuster, right? Yeah. I still have a DVD of It's All Gone Pete Tong. I don't know what that is. Is that because you ordered the Netflix through the mail?

Shut it down. Y'all can just keep those DVDs you have, I guess. Blockbuster? No, the Netflix mail service. Blockbuster did it for a minute. They tried to copy the model. They might have done it first. I don't recall. The mail bit? Yeah.

Is it true that Blockbuster had a chance to buy Netflix? Of course. I believe so. Okay. Big focus of my thesis. Oh. Was this at school or were you just doing a little manifesto action? Yeah, no, I moved to the woods for like a summer. I dug a hole to live in.

Blockbuster missed an opportunity. Are you guys into watching these Cybertruck fail videos on Twitter? The world's largest Cybertruck meetup will be occurring Let me pause this video

which is very annoying. Gatesville, Texas Which is like in central Texas. Gatesville, Texas, which is like in central Texas. Gatesville, it's not too far away from Austin. But like, just imagine the dork factor. Like I saw one of them get stuck in like a river over the weekend. Like imagine having a car that everybody just wants to shit on the something, the second something goes wrong with it. But a lot of people are getting them, though, huh?

I don't like the idea of a car meetup for new cars. Right. It should be like old muscle cars and stuff. We have a family friend that fixes up old Studebakers. That's cool. And it's specific. It's a weird community. You got to kind of hustle to find stuff that's original.

It's neat. It is. Hey, we have $150,000 laying around. You guys, too? Sweet. I thought there was a recall on those. Did they not have to send them all back? I know some of them definitely had some electrical problems,

but I'm not aware of a full recall. It was like a piece that slid over the gas pedal, and it was like they lubed it up with uh like cooking grease or something like something crazy and it was like a mass recall damn you guys ever like act quickly on the recall you get that letter from like do i actually react quickly no i get the letter i got yeah i'm pretty sure i'm like 18 months in on one right now where they're like, you need to get this fixed. I'm like, well, I mean, I haven't noticed it being a problem. Yeah, and then you bring it in and you're like, they're like, oh, yeah, hey, while you're here, actually, this is wrong, too.

Yeah, and you know what happened? I called and they were like, it'll take three days. And I said, well, I'll just never do that. So will you be providing me a rental? Like it's your screw up. Yeah. And they're like, absolutely not. I'm like, okay, so I need to pay a few hundred dollars for a rental car while you fix like this drive shaft that you screwed up at the factory.

That you said is the problem. Yeah. Now, this has gone very poorly for me one time because I got one about my seat warmers. It was a Volkswagen Passat. Is that what that car was called? Passat, yeah. And the seat warmer literally burned through my pants. Oh, my gosh.

Got to pay extra for that normally. I know, right? Yeah. Like, it burned through the seat. And I'm like, what's going on down here? And I look down there, and there's just, like, my pants are, like, smoldering. That one I should have gotten fixed. Did it, like, could you turn off the seat warmer?

Yeah. Oh, okay. But I was already burned. Yeah, yeah, okay. We should do a class action suit. You don't even know what that means. My pants are hot and I have mesothelioma. Right.

Join forces. There's your news. Yeah, the news. The Dumb Zone zone news like and subscribe the dumb zone presents today in history i should have bought some of this stock i know blake why didn't you tell me i didn't know about it you told me about doge I didn't know about it You told me about Doge Yeah we did okay on Doge

I feel like I missed Doge, Bitcoin Like GameStop GameStop had a big morning as well I believe somebody sold like their shares For like 115 million dollars God damn it You ever meet anybody who's really into that? Yeah

Like my brother Speaking of manifestos Like we'll talk to you for two hours about GameStop. He's convinced that it's essentially going to be like the new currency. I'm not even kidding. He owns a lot of it. He believes in it. I like that.

So if it's not a new currency, he's in trouble. I think it's trending that direction. I'm curious. There was an open mic comedian, I forget his name, but like hadn't quite established himself yet. I don't think he was working much, but he was super into the GameStop thing

and he would show people the account and he made like $6 million. Damn. And then he held on. He hodled? He hodled, lost all of it. I don't know if he just kept holding and now he's up again.

Maybe. Follow up again. Maybe. He can follow up with the guy. This might have a good ending. We don't know anything about money. Nope. So today is Monday, June 3rd. Happy Pride Month, guys. Thanks, man.

Let's see on this day in 1895 Roger Connor hit a home run to become the all time leader all time leader in home runs in 1895 had 7 like for his career

yeah I'll go 25 122 he would retire with 138 career? Yeah. I'll go 25. 122. Wow, okay. He would retire with 138 and Babe Ruth passed him in 1921. And then, you know, everybody else

passed him too. Yeah. On this day in 1962, Air France flight 007 crashed while attempting to take off from Orly Airport near Paris. 134 people on board. 132 were killed. I was trying to decide this morning, would I want to be one of those two people?

Because it's one of my dreams to be the sole survivor of a plane crash. There we go. My wife's uncle has survived seven. He was a big game hunting guide in Alaska. He's an old man now and cleans carpets and doesn't do this anymore. But he was like a big game hunting guide in Alaska. So they're in those little bush planes and the ones that land on water. And he just crashed a lot of them.

One time he landed on Kodiak. Was he flying it? Yeah. He crashed on Kodiak Island and couldn't get rescued for like three days. So he just had to like stay in the little thing with like bears crunching around. Jesus. Seven. Tom, Tom, look him up.

He's not on the socials. Seven. Tom, Tom, look him up. He's not on the socials. Yeah, so I think the question is, would you rather be one of two? I mean, I know one of one is your goal. Or would I just rather be one of the dead people? Or would you rather be one of ten? More people to eat? Well, I think the issue is that if it's one of two, you're going to have to do all of your stuff with that person.

Yeah, but one of ten, you're probably going to get together every year or have some kind of a... You will have a bond with those ten people somehow, right? That'd be fun. I don't know. I feel like if it's one of two, you're going to definitely be connected at the hip. And what if they suck, you know?

Yeah. What if it's a lady, though? What if it's your soulmate? Yeah. What if it's a lady, though? What if it's your soulmate? Yeah, what if she's hot? And then she's like, Yeah, I don't know, but what if she's hot? What if she's not hot,

and this is how you learn to quit judging a book by its cover, and you fall in love? Like, violent, shallow howl. But if she is hot, she's thinking what you just thought. Like, oh, they suck. You know, you're thinking this is great.

She's all hot. Yeah, want to do stuff? I mean, we both survived that crash, and she's like, eh, no, you know, no. Like, this is her hypothetical thing on having one of us. Yeah. And on this day in 2006, the Dallas Mavericks advanced to the NBA Finals for the first time in franchise history. Everything went very well after that?

In the long run, whatever occurred then got us Luka. Okay, that's an interesting butterfly effect that I suppose we could wind all the way back to Christ times. But yes. Today's birthdays. Don't you feel like six and a half is too much, by the way? What's six and a half? The spread for game one? Yeah.

From what I understand, the Celtics are heavy favorites in the series. They are. So, home game. But still, it seems like six and a half is a crazy number. Why don't you smash that? You certainly already have. So, home game. But still, it seems like six and a half is a crazy number. Why don't you smash that? You certainly already have. Didn't you bet on them to win the finals a while back?

I did. What'd you get? I'm on that, too. It was in, like, March. But it was later. Yeah, it was pretty good. I mean, they were, like, ninth or tenth. It was not high. Yeah, you probably did way better than me.

But you probably put less money on it, too. Throw a hundo down? I win a hundo. I nibble. Nibble, okay. What'd you do, 20? Yeah. What's that going to do for you?

Yeah, that's pretty gay. He'll put 100 cents on a game. Yeah. We put $2 down just to have some fun. That's exactly that. Me and the boys giggle about this thing. I think I've actually said that exact same thing. Honey, I won $8.50 today.

Wow. Hey, I like it. I like it. I have Luka plus 610 to win finals MVP, and the Mavs just plus 500. I also lost a lot of money on the Stars, though, so. Really? It was like 25 bucks. Oh, okay.

A lot for you. Yeah. Don't bet on hockey, kids. Hockey's hard to pick. You just never know. Anyway, today's birthdays include Fogle's alter ego in Superbad. If you look at the McLovin license,

6381. Yeah, McLovin is 43 today. Former Ranger Carl Everett is 53. Dinosaurs? He did not Wait I could be confusing him with another No no no I think he didn't believe dinosaurs existed

Correct And I think believed That God put the fossils there To throw us off That's not like an entirely uncommon belief By the way But I think he's the first one I ever heard spout that. I heard it in church.

Oh, wow. Yeah. And I believe Gabe Kapler went and did some interviews with him for us. Just Gabe and Carl Everett. I'd like to find those. Travis Hafner is 47. What happened to him? He went to Cleveland.

That's a guy you might have forgot about right there. He mashed. He did. Roids? Probably, right? Probably a good chance. It was in that era. Yeah.

Rafael Nadal is 38. Oh, Al Horford, 38. Ageless. What's he going to... What problems will Al Horford present for the Mavericks? He's a good player. I mean, he's still pretty effective. They probably bring KP off the bench.

That's how good he is. Oh, really? Well, KP hasn't played in like over a month. I know, but... You would think that Chris Stapps Porzingis could. I'm looking forward to seeing him. It's going to be weird. The Kyrie thing is going to be insane.

Like just all the videos over the weekend were wild. He's hated there, right? Oh, yeah. Didn't they yell the N-word at him? But that's Boston. That's what you do to black boys in Boston. Boys will be boys. Anderson Cooper is 57.

Vanderbilt. Silver Fox. Some say gay. It's between him and God. Why were you looking at Blake like that? For a really long time. Did you know that he's a Vanderbilt? I don't even know what that means, no.

Like one of the legacy families of America. Cornelius Vanderbilt. His lineage. Railroad fella. Railroad, yeah. It was just one of those things where I remember whenever I realized, probably sometime in college, like every single famous person you see in media,

you never had a chance. Like they either grew up in Manhattan, you know, they're somehow a descendant of a Rockefeller or a Rothschild or a Vanderbilt. The Monopoly men family. Exactly. And you're just like, look. Are there any baby Corneliuses out there?

That's a good question. Yeah. Because that was my dog's name, as you know. I think it made a shift and they'd all be black guys now. For real? Yeah. That's actually a good point. I think so, yeah.

Doctor. The more you know. It has decreased a little bit, but. Doctor Jill Biden is 73. Quick. I'm having a heart attack. Call Jill Biden. Raul Castro is 93.

Is he in charge now? The brother of Fidel. I believe he's in charge of Cuba. The good ones always go young. And Jason Jones is 51. The former daily, well, maybe current, but I haven't watched it since Jon Stewart left, Daily Show correspondent. He is married to Samantha Bee.

Remember she had her like minute? The Bee Report? Yeah. Oh, I know this guy. Born on this day, now dead. Jefferson Davis. Why don't you put your gun in that pile? Giordano Ventura.

Was he involved in a Coop fight? Coop Newberg fight. I don't think so. We conflate like three different. Young deaths. Young Latino pitchers. And I don't believe so we conflate like three different young death young latino pitchers and i don't believe he's one of them or i we say this every year but he's not uh the subject of that argument steve dalkowski was the inspiration for bull durham he's the the player he died from covid and uh larry mcmurtry born on this now dead. He said that extremely flippantly. He wrote

Lonesome Dove and stuff. The Last Picture Show. Died on this day, we have a bunch. We have Nicholas Appert. Died on this day in 1841. He invented airtight food preservation. Alright. Before that, you just left your sandwich lying there. Wait. Like, bags didn't exist? Airtight.

Airtight? Yeah, but, I mean, isn't a bag airtight? I guess you get, like, twisted. Not any bag. I mean, this bag isn't. Like, this bag right here. What do you call this airtight? Yeah, that bag probably is. Why did you only eat half of your sandwich?

Because I ate half of it on the way here and I'll eat half of it later. And why didn't you throw it in the fridge? And why did you go corner to corner? Let's see that sandwich. Pull that sandwich out. Let's go. Sandwich.

Sandwich. Oh, I thought you'd show. Whoa. You do do the diagonal eat. So you start at the, I can see that, yeah. What's wrong with that? You hold the little triangle there? Well, if I'm going to eat half of it,

I just feel like I would just eat it. It does look like an ape ate part of it. Yeah, it's just like mama. You take tiny little bites? What is this? I didn't know you eat like you open envelopes. You eat like you bet a dollar on games. Like I'm driving along.

Like how do you only have time to eat half a sandwich? It's a half hour drive. I had breakfast and then I ate half the sandwich. I'll eat half of it on the way home. And yeah, Ziploc bags were not invented in 1820 or whatever the hell. 1800, bro. Okay, but what I'm saying- There was slavery.

Yeah, he's right. Like in the slavery era, they don't have Ziplocs. And they were there fanning off the sandwiches. All right. Yeah, that's how they preserved them back then. Finish your sandwich. You guys all leave me alone. Died on this day in 1989, the Ayatollah Khomeini.

Tully. Yep. Oh, Tully. This day in 2009, David Carradine died of accidental autoerotic asphyxiation. You always use a spotter. You got to. Everyone knows that. Yep.

Would you be my guy if we were on a road trip and you were in the next room over if I just said, Hey, bro. Hey, I'm going to crack the joining. Just come check on me at this time. Without a doubt. Wouldn't even have to think about it. That's how much you mean to me.

To have a friend like that. Rue McClanahan died on this day in 2010. What was her bit? She was on Golden Girls. Oh, that's right, yeah. She was known as the whore. I remember that. Blanche. Blanche. Jack Kevorkian died on this Girls. Oh, that's right, yeah. She was known as the whore. Yeah, I remember that. Blanche. Blanche. Jack Kevorkian died on this day.

That show got very popular with, like, when I was in college, all my friends who were female, like, binged it. I think generally, like, now, I think college-age girls are familiar with that. It's not a bad show, so whatever, but it was just weird.

Look how hot she is. She was the whore? Oh, yeah. When you're 80, you're going to be like, that's hot. I don't know. Well, the whole point is you're just looking for somebody that will just do it all the time. And Betty White wouldn't do it. Betty White was too pure.

She was a prude. Yeah. Andrew Gold died on this day He sang Lonely Boy Muhammad Ali And F. Lee Bailey Ooh O.J. He defended O.J.

Good lawyer right? I mean I think There was a time when he was considered a good lawyer, but I'm also pretty sure he's been disbarred for like two decades now. Did he do like the famous Cleveland killer too? Ariel Castro? No, no, no, no. Like back way before OJ, 20 years prior to that.

I'm trying to remember. Some doctor. It became like a TV show. God damn it. It's time now for closing remarks. Huh? It became The Fugitive. Maybe.

I mean, this seems like a fact that... All right, I'm going to look that up while you guys... He was the guy that came to the basis for Con Air. Yes. I believe that was it. It was that. And Face Off. I do.

I put those movies together in my head as well. Like, that's a box set. Part of the Criterion Collection, I believe. Absolutely. So, let's let Jimmy. You want to promote any gigs? I see you're like. Yeah, for sure.

You're busy every weekend, it seems, at least for the next five weekends. Yeah, a few. Thursday. This is actually Thursday at Dallas Hyenas and June 22nd at Dallas Comedy Club. I'm doing shows with former Dumb Zone guest Lawrence Rosales. Okay, great dude. Yeah, funny guy, funny comedian. Loves heroin.

He is a big meth guy. Oh, meth. Was it meth? Yeah. Okay, I don't want to. But then, yeah, June 6th, that's the first night of the playoffs, so that'll be, we'll see what happens there. And then June 14th and 15th, I'll be featuring for Sarah Colonna,

Hyenas in Dallas, and then June 27th and 29th. What does I'll be featuring mean? I do 25 minutes before the headliner. So there's a host, a feature, and then the headliner. Okay. The sandwich is delicious, by the way. You glad you finished it? I got like a third of it left.

She's married to a punter. The punter for the Seahawks. Who's that? John Ryan? Wait, who's this comedian? I was telling you about this over the weekend. Sarah Colonna. She was on our former radio station a couple times. Yeah.

She's very funny. Okay. Sarah Colonna. She was on our former radio station a couple times. She's very funny. You wouldn't say if you thought she sucked before you opened your forehead. We can't really trust what you're saying. I think she is funny. We'll play some of her comedy. There are subjective things. If it were my $50 I had to spend on a night out,

who would I choose? But baseline, she is funny. June 27th, 29th, I'll be in Houston with Chris Porter. I don't know. What do you mean you don't know? I was saying Houston people. You got Houston folks tuning in? Sure.

Okay. Houston improv with Chris Porter. What do you got? Man, I... So in 1954, Sam Shepard was found guilty in the murder of his wife, Marilyn, in a case that was one of the inspirations for the television series, The Fugitive.

Sorry if you had something to promote. That's good. I was curious. That's in the 1960s. F. Lee Bailey was a resident of Rocky River, Ohio at the time. He was hired by Shepard's brother, Stephen, to help in Shepard's appeal. Okay. He successfully argued before the time. He was hired by Shepard's brother, Stephen, to help in Shepard's appeal. Okay. He successfully argued before the U.S.

Supreme Court that Shepard had been denied due process winning a retrial. A not guilty verdict followed. So that's how F. Lee Bailey got on the map. He was the president and they took over the plane? Yes, that's how that happened.

And then they swapped faces. Sorry, on to our next closing remarks. Yes, yeah. Are you going to stick with the name? Yeah, I think I have to because, you know. Don't listen to his daughters. Yeah, yeah. It's a fine name.

Yeah, we, yeah, you know df nation knows no boundaries so um at the end of august september we're going to be on tour we're gonna be hitting at atlanta charlotte um festival up in rhode island and then three dates in uh colorado so it'll be denver um greeley colorado springs and uh if you have time and want to listen to the new song and you're in Colorado. So it'll be Denver, Greeley, Colorado Springs. And if you have time and want to listen to the new song and you're not a 19 and 21 year old female, I'd love for you to stream

New Dress. It's streaming everywhere now. And yeah, I hope you enjoy it. And yes, I'm not 70. I'd be 40 actually But pretty close I guess Man do you guys see this Oilers fans titties?

Alright thanks guys Adios Mofo My baby got a new dress on If I die I hope she gonna hear this song Cause she's so pretty, I've been busy It's been crazy and downright wrong

Oh my, my, my baby got a new dress on A little bit and a little while A couple songs and a little while, a couple songs and a couple days, a couple more and a hundred miles, buddy boy, you know I'm gonna find that way. find their way Oh my my, my baby got a new dress on If I die, I hope

she gonna hear this song Cause she's so pretty, I've been busy, it's been crazy and downright wrong Oh my my, my baby got a new dress on. Here we are, there we go. It's pretty high, I'm pretty old.

It's pretty hot, I'm pretty old I wouldn't trade for anything As long as I can hold the hand that wears that ring I said, oh my, my, my baby got a new dress on If I die, I hope she gonna hear this song Cause she's so pretty, I've been busy It's been crazy and downright wrong Oh, my, my, my baby got a new dress on Oh, whoa, baby got a new dress on. Oh, whoa, baby got a new dress on. Oh, whoa, baby got a new dress on, yeah Oh, my, my, my baby got a new dress on

If I die, I hope she gonna hear this song She's so pretty, I've been busy It's been crazy, now right wrong Oh, my, my, my baby got a new dress on. Oh my, my, my baby got a new dress on. Oh my, my, my baby got a new dress on.