The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 7-18-24

Episode Date: July 18, 2024

Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneIn this episode of The Dumb Zone, Dan, Jake, and Blake get things rolling with a spirited discussion about the oddities of Business Wednesday and the joy of Broadcast Fridays. The trio is joined by special guest Brandon Aubrey, the kicker for the Cowboys, who shares his fascinating journey from soccer to the NFL, his experiences with the USFL, and the quirks of his training routines. The episode is filled with humor, insights, and the unique charm that makes The Dumb Zone a must-listen. (00:00) - Brandon Aubrey (01:24:46) - Hard Knocks bro GM (01:40:02) - Videos: Austin bear trap, Shane as Trump (01:47:47) - Viewer Mail (02:05:04) - News (02:16:11) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, longtime professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of the man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you'll get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week. Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program.

The Dunzo. This is for you new people. I only have one rule. Everyone fights, no one quits. If you don't do your job, I'll shoot you. Do you get me? We get you, sir! Welcome to the Roughnecks. Rattats, Roughnecks! Thank you for that. It's Paul Verhoeven's birthday. Very cool. Rico's Roughnecks.

And I knew that... It means a lot to me. I knew that would get you in a good mood. As if today being your Friday wouldn't be enough. We're going to work tomorrow together. We are, but it's our broadcast Friday. It is our broadcast Friday. And broadcast Fridays are like fun.

Top five movie for me. In fact, we did a... So we did Business Wednesday. We did a show yesterday. And I got a little feedback of, hey, this would be great if you did this. And then every Friday take off. Then you guys would have a three-day weekend and blah, blah, blah. And at first I thought, hey, that's a good idea.

But I like to sit and marinate. See that? In sync. I just thought Friday's a fun show day. Yeah. And it's probably a bad business because when we take a day off, we're grinding, bro.

So, but it's a bad, you know, people don't want to set up business calls and meetings and stuff on Friday. Knock off at noon. Yeah. Yeah. And I think also it would be tough during football season.

Right. You got your Thursday night football. Yeah. Got to get ready think also it would be tough during football season. Right. You got your Thursday night football. Yeah. We're prepping you for the big game. The slate. The college football slate. So we're not going to do that to the folks that reach out. We appreciate your opinions,

but we think they suck. Well, I mean, we thought about it. Yeah, and then that's what we came up with. Yeah, we talked it out. Anyway, so I do believe I'm positive about today's program. Good. Unlike most days. And you notice that if you're listening, then you don't notice it. You don't notice that we are in our studio.

Our downtown Dallas studio, yet to be named location. We'll tell you soon. And if you are watching the vid, oh, we're live streaming today too. Hey. Hello. Hi there. People watching us on the live stream what camera do I look at when I do that the one right in front of you oh does it

turn like red no it's oh it's pretty much right there like this main street all right anyway so we're in our studio and if you're watching the vid that's Pretty much right there, like this, Main Street. All right, anyway. So we're in our studio, and if you're watching the vid, that's short for video, Brandon. We have this, we took, we found this UFL logo, which stands for the United Football League, apparently. And there's, you could see in the background background Birmingham Stallions fans and gear and all that because they're really good. Right?

Aren't they the best? Champions in a row. What's that? Championships in a row. Three chips? Yep. A couple chips. Do soccer players call championships chips?

I don't know if anybody calls chips chips. Oh, okay. I thought someone did. Anyway, so in studio today, remember this guy? He is the best kicker in the NFL. Wow. Brandon Aubrey. Look at that.

Thanks for having me. Folks. Happy to be back. All right, all right, all right. Happy to be back Wow This never ends What an open What an open You're one of the few guys

In fact, is he the second man ever Besides us The second man ever Besides us The second man ever to Be On a broadcast high atop my garage And in our downtown Dallas studio Well You remember Dominic Robinson was the first

And it was on back-to-back shows. We very recently had Danny on in both locations. Oh. So I think that you might... I wanted to make him feel good. You called him the best kicker of all time, and I feel like you could have stopped there. That's pretty good.

I don't know about the best of all time. That would be Tom Dempsey, right? I guess. You know Tom Dempsey. I've heard the name. I've seen him in the Hall of Fame. You ever think about cutting off half your foot?

No. Yeah, he's the half a foot kicker. We'll not do that. Gotcha. The steel toe guy. What if that was able to extend your career by five years?

I guess you kind of got to do anything to extend your career, but I like my foot. Okay. Keep it. Yeah. Anyway, man, thanks for joining us again. Yeah, absolutely.

Thanks for having me. It's an honor to be the third. I wanted you to be second, but I would have called you first, but Dominic would be really mad. We don't want that. Uh, do you remember, uh, so do you know what show Brandon was in studio or in den for high atop my garage find out because i was today is show number 203 with brandon aubrey from the cowboys here and um some time ago we got this email so if you didn't listen to that program I got an email that said Dear Dan, I'm a P1 and Dumb Zone subscriber I like to support the little guy which apparently we are

I spoke with my son-in-law Brandon the Cowboys kicker and he would like to be on your show if that's something you'd be interested in of course I would like to accompany him to witness your work first hand in the den from Brent Bloom did I pronounce that correctly? 817 he gave his phone number though

so that's how this all started. They joined us up in the den. Apparently, you weren't too offended because you've agreed to join us again. That was a great time. We kind of wanted to show you, like, hey, this isn't all we are. We aren't just a couple of guys above a garage. With two poodles. Yeah, no, those poodles were great.

They are great, but you know, look. What do you think? It looks fantastic. Not so bad. Love the big head of Baker there. You got some great shirts hanging. Yep. I have a picture of Cameron Brink over here. I can't see it. Oh, well, you can imagine. Yeah.

I have a cowboy's pennant. Awesome. And some giant scissors. What are those about? Explaining our bits to people. I think it can be done quickly. We've just, as we were sitting high atop my garage, we would often say, man, it'll be great if we someday have a studio. Yeah. And we'd say, you know what we'd like?

I'd love to have a gold shovel. You ever see those pictures? Yeah. With the guys standing. Breaking ground or a ribbon shovel. You ever see those pictures? Yeah. With the guys standing. Breaking ground or a ribbon cutting. And so people, we have five gold shovels. People have given us gold shovels because we once said we wanted them. And then we thought it would be cool someday to have a ribbon cutting ceremony at our new studio.

But we need giant scissors. It is super unnecessary for you to stand up to tell that story. Well, I mean, if you have a gold shovel. See, I've been thinking about standing up a lot lately. Because of our friend with the desk? Because of, was it Mortgage Mark? I think so, yeah. So he has a couple of stand-up desks that he has offered,

and I'm going to take him up on that. And then I've talked to some different people too. Everybody who has tried the stand-up desk is like, oh, yeah? You think the stand-up desk? We have some sit-ins today as well. We have Sam Smith, Terrence Singleton, Jeremy Hager. That works, Hager? wife is uh the cookie lady the cookie oh that made the dumb zone cookies yeah awesome for the uh for the 420 event for the 420 event and that we met at the

akash show uh down in houston yeah yeah um sweet so we like your wife or Jake does at least and who else oh Eric Patterson Eric Patterson as well that's you with the stand up desk and everybody's like and I'm reading about the stand up desk and it's like oh it'll add 15%

to your life or have do you guys aware of the stand up desk yeah I was a software engineer for two years I know all about the standup desk and fantastic you had one should try an exercise ball just sitting on an exercise chair yeah does that that feels like that would be exercise though during the show it's working out your core the whole time and your back it's great yeah and i think you like don't notice it yeah right like it's because you're so engrossed in your work yeah like you're actually doing what you're doing, but I feel like it's activating your core in a way that it's not going to bother you.

It's not like sitting there and doing 100 sit-ups or something like that. So I have this bookshelf in the den, so I've been standing in the morning doing show prep. I wish I could see this. Over by where the dog bowl is, you know? Yeah. And just standing there, and it's real tiny, this shelf. So I, you know, I'm, I'm just standing up cause I'm like, Oh, this is better for me. Like I want,

I'm just trying everything I can Brandon to push death back. Yeah. Well, it's hard life and your fitness is the most important part of it, I think. Okay. Wise words from Brandon Aubrey. So you're here with Jen again. Jen has gained a little weight. What happened? You doing okay?

Maybe you should stand at the desk a little more or sit on that exercise ball. Definitely should. So you're very pregnant. I'm hoping. Or else I just really stepped in a terrible, terrible bear trap. Got less than a month now. Less than a month. What's the due date?

August 12th. Man. Day after the Rams game and preseason. Yeah, preseason game. Oh, okay. Did you intentionally time it out so you could miss a little training camp? No. Can't really plan those sort of things as much as you try.

Have you gone back nine months and said, okay, oh, that was right after the game-winning kick against... It was November. You were on a heater. I mean, all year you've been on a heater. Every night was a celebration that season. One year ago today, what's your mindset? Where that season. One year ago today, like what's your mindset? Where are you?

One year ago today, let's see. I'm probably at the star working out with no one there, then going home and kicking some footballs and just trying to get into shape. And the mindset is got to go win a job. Got to go out there, be as close to perfect as possible, and really just run away with this thing. mindset is got to go win a job um got to go out there be as close to perfect as possible and um really just run away with this thing um and luckily got an opportunity to do that and didn't look back should we reset like perhaps we should reset at least your story a little bit for

people okay um that you really never played football before a couple years ago. Right. Went to the USFL. You're a soccer star, though. High school star. Okay, so to start it out, in high school, played soccer. Club team, local club team in Dallas for the Dallas Texans. Got recruited to go to Notre Dame to play soccer. Played all four years there. Did well enough to get drafted first round to

Toronto FC in the MLS. Didn't do so hot there. Ended up, after a year, getting released from my contract. After one year? Yeah. Is that common? It's very common. Like the NFL, you're competing for a job and if you don't perform, they move on

quick. Unlike the NFL, you're competing with, I guess now kind of like the NFL, you're competing with guys all over the world. And they're not doling out four-year guaranteed deals for a first-round pick. No, no, no. They're giving semi-guaranteed, which is a little funky, but basically if you make it to June, which is the halfway point of the season, or maybe it's July, then your contract becomes fully guaranteed at that point.

Did you make a dent? I did my first year, yeah. Okay. They gave me at least that first year. And then washed out of there and ended up landing in the USFL, which, similar to the UFL, is like a Tier 2 soccer league in America. Now, is landing in the USFL? USFL, yeah.

U-S-L. U-S-L. U-S-L. Too many U-Ls. Yeah. There's a lot of United Soccer League. Is the legendary story true that Jen is the reason that you actually reached out and started looking into football? Absolutely. After soccer, retired and went to just a normal world. I mentioned earlier, software engineer for about... You got a stand-up desk. Yep, stand-up desk. I was lucky. Actually, COVID sent me home, and I got to work from home,

which was a fantastic experience. But prior to that, I didn't really enjoy it, and I was like, I'm still young. I can go play sports. You got to figure it out. Obviously, there wasn't enough money in soccer, and I kind of burnt out from soccer at the lower levels. So we were just sitting there watching football like we do every Sunday,

just like a true American. And then eventually Jen realized I wasn't too happy in the current lifestyle, so she pointed out after watching a kicker, hey, I think you could do that. And she likes to point out that the kicker did not miss the kick. I know that's been – Oh, in the legend of Brandon Aubrey, she saw somebody shank a kick and then said, hey, you could have done that.

Yeah, so very close to the accurate truth, but not quite there. Okay. But I'm sure he didn't nail it, because you'll get him right down the middle, man. I try, yeah. Isn't that incredible how he does that? That's the joy of aiming at a light post

the first two years of training. Okay, that's how you did it, huh? Yep. Just went out to a little field in Frisco. They didn't have uprights because lacrosse was taking over. Had you ever kicked a field goal before? Had you ever kicked a football before? Before that moment, no.

Like while you're sitting on the couch with Jen? Middle school. No, but it's very similar to kicking a soccer ball. It's like hitting a long ball or a goal kick something like that if you've played soccer you you'd know the motion so um the hard part is obviously mentally um staying sharp and focused and then finding your form to do the same repetitive task the same exact way over and over again. As a soccer player, you're not really, unless you're taking penalties or free kicks and even then you're not really hammering out your form to where you're hitting it the exact same way every time

because every really strike of the ball requires something different here. You're doing the same thing every time, so it might be a little bit boring at first, hammering out your process and your steps, but that's what it takes, and that's really all there is what it takes. And that's really all there is to it. Is it boring now? It's boring now? No, I love kicking it. And I don't have to do as much of the drill work I did starting up. So when I was starting up, put with just some really neon fluorescent tape in the garage, put down a path for my steps, each step, like all three of them back back and then marked it down

and then my two over marked it down and then where my plant for my first step my jab step lunge step and then the drive step all three of those steps were all marked and then um it's super important i put a little box where my plant foot's supposed to go and then a little triangle out in the area i wanted to finish after the swing and i just walked those steps a hundred times a day and made sure each step was in the right spot every time. So that's what I'm referencing boring. That was the boring part. Did somebody come up with that plan for you?

Or did you figure out the physics and the logistics of it yourself? So it took a lot of work with a one-on-one kicking coach in the Dallas area, Brian Eakin. He spent a lot of time with me when I was first starting. And he recognized quickly that I had talent. I had the ability to strike a ball, which he says he can't teach. But if I wanted to be serious about this, I'd have to spend a lot of time drilling on my own.

There's no point in paying him to sit there and watch me take those steps. So I'm going to have to have some accountability and go out there and do it on my own every day. So he walked me through what it would look like and then obviously didn't find my steps right away. So we went there through with film. He'd film me at the field until we got something that looked natural and looked comfortable and repeatable. And when we found that, then we marked it on the field. And then I kind of took that blueprint into my garage and just practiced over and over and over again. Yeah, I'm going through something pretty similar right now.

I'm learning to throw a baseball. Yeah, that's tough too. Yeah, never really knew how to do it as a kid. Yeah. So, yeah, they film me. They mark off the motion. Did you have video we wanted to play later of Jake throwing a baseball? Yeah, I think we found some video of Jake throwing.

Let's see. It's Jake throwing. Let's see. It's not me. Let's see. Get it fired up. Okay, while you look for that, I guess. How good did the first one feel? Like on the field. On the field?

I missed it, so not great. Was it preseason? Oh, in preseason? Oh, you're saying now once you've played. Yeah, yeah. And so my first kick live was kickoff for the Stallions in the USFL. It was actually the opening kickoff for the whole league. And for me, it's the opening kickoff of my career.

So every time I go out and practice, you look across the field, there's no one there. And it's like, okay, this doesn't really matter. And now there's 21 other Warriors out here. Exactly. 21 Warriors and one guy who kicks a ball. Yeah. So I was just looking out there.

I didn't mean to say that. It was just a crazy experience. Took it all in. Like, okay, now it's time to focus and go through those steps. You've practiced a million times. But it felt great getting that kickoff off. Didn't go nearly as far as I hoped it would. But it was in play, so we're good there. Didn't have to make the tackle. No penalty. Didn't go nearly as far as I hoped it would, but it was in play,

so we're good there. Didn't have to make the tackle. No penalty. Did you practice tackling before that first kick? No, and there's actually a YouTube clip. I don't know if you can play YouTube clips of my first tackle. It should be like, USFL kickers can't kick, but they can hit. Something like that. That's what it's called.

That's my first tackle, so you can see I clearly didn't practice because I should have been thrown out of the game. It was terrible. Head down. Head down, spear right into the top of the guy's head. I should have been ejected, but got interviewed on the sideline after, which is kind of crazy. Either ejected or –

Celebrated. Well, no, or you get paralyzed or something, right? Yeah, I got very lucky that day. All right, let's see if we can watch that video. I'm throwing a lot at him. He can handle it. Yeah, this is it. Where is he?

Where is he? I think you can find where he is pretty easily. You're getting scared? Oh, wow. You didn't fall or anything, though. You kept your feet, though. Yeah. I'm telling you, soccer players aren't soft.

If anyone tells you that, it's not true. Okay, that's what we always think. I don't have a helmet on and I'm going up for headers like that. I've made contact with other people's heads

many times. That's impressive. Yeah. Have you ever done the overacting? No, that wasn't my game style. Here's the flop.

Watch it again. Oh my. Good juice. Standing over him. Yeah, what's up bro? How many of those did you have to make? I made three tackles that year and then

two the second season. But he's not counting. NFL? NFL zero. Luckily, Bones just says booted out the back last year, so not a lot of tackles. I think there was 99 touchbacks and like seven or eight returns now that may be about to change yeah definitely changing are you worried about it no um not my

job to make the tackle if if it is if they get through those guys i'll do my best um hopefully better than that uh but you know i'm not terribly worried about it my main job is to just place the ball where it's supposed to go and give our guys the best chance to make the play. If they do that job, then we're good. I saw Kansas City was saying they might have Bucker not kick off. They're going to use their punter instead. Is that a possibility here?

No, I think they're using a safety. Oh, really? Yeah, I forget his name. Do you remember? Is it Justin Reed? Yeah, Justin Reed. Because he kicked some PATs when Bucker was hurt. Yeah, so I think their plan is to use him if it works out.

See how accurate it is. For the tackling? Yeah. The kicker can't cross the line, the 50-yard line, until the ball is caught or hits the ground. They're trying to prevent teams from doing that. And you're like, cool. Hey, I'd love to run up there with that. And you're like, cool. Yeah.

Hey, I'd love to run up there with you guys. There's a rule. They said I have to stay back here. Man. Yeah, it is wild. So have you had to change your steps? Have you had to change the prep? Yeah, so it obviously requires a lot less power on the ball.

So instead of putting out the back of the end zone, now the goal is to get it somewhere between the 20 and goal line. More of that will be determined in training camp when we go through our practices and see what exactly Bones wants. But that's like anywhere from 40 to 10 less yards on the ball. So a lot less bringing to the table, which should, in theory, keep me healthy longer. Have you practiced it a lot?

We can play this video if we want to do the breakdown. I think Rob was just calling for it. What's that? I think it's the video that NFL Media put out initially, just sort of explaining it. Because the XFL did this, right? Yeah, the XFL did it. Okay. So here's a mock-up explaining it. Because like the XFL did this, right? Yeah, the XFL did it. Okay.

So here's a mock-up of it. Everybody stands. So everybody can't move until the runner catches the ball. Or hits the ground. Or hits the ball. That's the difference between us and the XFL. And so the coverage teams and the receiving teams are five yards away from one another. And the only people that are removed from that area are the returner and the kicker.

So the returner's back around the goal line-ish? Yeah. There's a little kicker's at the 30. There's a few more nuances. They're not all going to be in a line like that. There's going to be five players in the setup zone for the return team, which is the 30 to the 25, we'll say, and then the rest of them have to be in another zone just beyond that,

and then they can have two returners back. But if there's a second returner, the guy who's not fielding the ball can't double-team block. And then there's a couple other nuances. Man, Bones must love this because he loves just – He's part of the committee that puts these rules together. So he's so pumped for it. It's going to be the Wild West.

It's going to be a lot of fun watching this. Was that committee big or was it... I have no idea. Itty bitty. Sorry. I was just laying there. The great Brandon Aubrey is with us I'll reset because we're doing a live show

What's that? Jake throwing Oh Jake throwing alright since we're doing some video fun Let's uh Oh look at that Jake is warming up So Jake thinks He's going to be able to hit 39

That's Michael Rubin Jake feels like he's going to be able to hit nine. That's Michael Rubin. Jake feels like he's going to be able to hit 70 on a gun. Where are you at right now? We haven't clocked it. Okay. He's tall. I mean, 70 is not out of the realm of possibility.

He's never really known how to throw, right? You're actually taking lessons to throw a ball. Did he do other athletic activities? I played football and basketball my whole life. i played baseball for a few years it was just that like are you familiar with like sean marion the maverick player the science player you just had like a funky shot but it kind of worked yeah that's kind of what i always had okay it was just like a weird t-rex like throw oh okay oh well that motion you showed i was like i don't know if he's hitting 70 there okay but i was showing the old one i was showing the old one and so uh i started going to like an actual baseball training facility because i want to be able to teach my son

properly i don't want him to watch me and think that that's the way to do it and i don't think that power is going to be the problem have you ever thought of sending your son to the training facility well he's two never too early yeah our long snapper is teaching his son how to golf and he's only like one and a half really yeah he's in the simulator like every day geez wow man he probably will need uh professional training at one point but I just don't want to be showing him what I grew up with. Fair enough. You want to get better as a parent. Isn't that the goal? Yeah. Be a little bit better than what you were taught.

So that's what I'm trying to do. And I really don't think power is going to be the problem. I think accuracy is going to be the issue. Gotcha. But I think if I rear back and wing it, 70 is definitely in play. I feel like that's not that big of a number. You're a pro athlete. I just like that's not that big of a number. You're a pro athlete. I just like getting all this on tape.

Yeah. Just so that when we actually do see Jake throwing. Actually, here's the video of that throwing again. No, no, no. That guy's a billionaire, though. What's that? The guy who's throwing? I don't know who that is.

Michael Rubin? I've heard the name. No. I think he owns Fanatics. Did he throw the big party? Yeah, the white party. Gotcha. Yeah, Dez goes too, and I think Mike has been too.

You ever met Dez? Branding Aubrey, not been too. I have a Dez jersey. He was my favorite player growing up. Same here. Love to meet Dez. That's interesting because you seem like a – I've always understood why it's Jake's favorite player.

Because I'm crazy. Because you're – yeah, you guys are both emotional. You have highs. You have lows where when I talk to you on the air, off the air, and just with your job, it feels like you're a down-the-middle, I don't get too crazy, I don't get too – I'm sure when she told you she was pregnant, off the air, and just with your job. It feels like you're a down-the-middle, I don't get too crazy, I don't get too, like, I'm sure when she told you she was pregnant, you were like, oh, that's great. You've always looked forward to it. Whereas I was like, what the fuck?

Yeah. Oh, my God. Fairly accurate. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe a little more excited than that, but I don't show too much emotion. Are you and Brandon, or, and Brian and brian anger like considered real parts of the team um some days is it weird like down you just hang out together right yeah is there even

a backup kicker coming to camp this year no i not that i'm aware of hopefully not okay i would suck if you showed up at day one and found that out right yeah it'd be brutal i mean how so how many kickers were in camp last year when we say going going back a year, so this time last year, we're above my garage, and you had signed with the Cowboys, but there was certainly no guarantee. What was the contract, in fact, that they signed you initially? It's three years, just your standard, no bonuses, base minimum, all the way through.

So they got me for for cheap i tried negotiating but you know when you haven't played at college at all they're not gonna give you much we tried that too yeah but you were like the best uh the best kicker in the u fl right usfl at the time oh okay sign's not helping but okay yeah um yeah they but still didn't really care yeah you're still no experience yeah see if you can do it here okay but so that three-year deal there was none of it was guaranteed though they could cut you during training camp do you actually get paid something during training camp or would you have been paid nothing uh it was nice got paid i think it was like500 a week at training camp. So that was fantastic.

Okay. Doubles this year as a veteran. So that's awesome. Three hots and a cot? Yeah. Sure. I just want to throw out that term. Two days in a row.

Yeah. We're trying to work that into our show now. I feel like the kicker-punter relationship is almost like baseball players where they just have to spend so much time doing the same thing over and over and over together. So I've always wondered, do you guys have inside jokes? Do you have bits? Because it's pretty much just the two of you and maybe Bones. Well, we have the long snapper, too, who adds a lot for us.

But we have some bits, long snapper too who adds a lot for us but um we have we have some bits um mostly kind of like every friday but do you bet each other so that's what i was getting to every thursday we have a competition thursday which is more or less a bet it's loser has to buy the winner um twenty dollars worth of scratchers um that's about all it is random competition sometimes like throw the ball at the crossbar so you can hit it, roll the ball and see who gets closest to like the star in the middle of the field. And that's what we're doing whenever other people are practicing. Are you the backup punter? I am the backup punter. Okay. How do you do with that? How often do you practice that? So before we go out and hit our field goals, I'll hit like two or three punts

and that's about it. You're like, that was awesome. Yeah. Good to go here. Just hope it doesn't happen. Who's the backup kicker? Banger. Who? Brian Anger. Oh, Anger. Okay, I'm sorry. Banger. Yep. That's his name. Yep. What's your nickname?

Bottery. Well, that's my Instagram handle, so Bob's was back in college, but it's butter now thanks to dac okay dad if dad calls you something explain smooth as butter he said it after the chargers game okay just kept calling at me calling me that uh afterwards and kind of stuck with a bunch of the staff and a few of the the there. How does the wife feel about butter? I like it. And they refer to our baby as baby butter. Okay.

Okay. So that's out of your hands now. Do you have a name for this baby? Yes, we do. Colton. Colton. I should tell everyone. Okay.

She makes you do that. That's solid. Yeah. I'm a guy who will make fun of people's kids' names. Glad you did. I'm glad you approve. Yeah. Unless it's C-O-L-T-Y-N. No.

Nope. It's solid strong O. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Yeah, let's take a look at that list. We have a list of some Today in Twitter action. Are you big on the Soch? No.

I repost a few things here and there on Instagram when I get tagged. But I have Twitter, but I forgot repost a few things here and there on Instagram when I get tagged, but don't, I have Twitter, but I've, I forgot my login a while ago and, uh, no Facebook. We've tried to delete our Facebook actually like 15 times. It keeps coming back. It's very difficult. Every week has reappears. I deactivate it every week and it comes back. I went through that. I went through that. Uh, uh, eventually. Yeah. But it took a couple years when i first started dating my current wife i put that i was in a relationship and i was working with him and he made fun of me for like well you know two or three straight months and i was like i i have to get rid of this

so it took a couple years but yeah and i do want to tell you, based on if they're looking for the video, reports yesterday on trash trucks. I'm apparently not alone at all. No. So I just want you guys to know. I got a lot of feedback. Just start it early. Your kid is going to love to watch videos of trash trucks. And they have hours of compilations on YouTube.

You never know, though. By the time Holton have something cool you know they they just kids might be into something different because my kids were not into trash trucks i know but i feel like the trash truck is timeless you're gonna have to elaborate like what what about the trash truck okay it's literally it's it's literally just a truck picking up trash what was the site danny mentioned um My son was so uninspired. Yeah. I don't want to hear that.

I want to hear what. Trash and. Okay. I can find it real quick here. Nash and trash. Something like that. Anyway, it's weird. Trash and trash production.

So we're on YouTube, obviously. And they just. We're trying to figure out how do we get our subscriptions up? How do we get our views up? Whatever. Blah, blah, blah. This guy has like 20 million views on a garbage truck just riding along, putting trash in it. Yeah.

Not just one. For an hour. So what did you take from that? Like 150 of them. I just sat there and watched it with my son, and here it is right here, Brandon. Check it out. Every about 15 seconds, they cut to a different trash truck picking up trash and my son just sits there and every single

time that a new one shows up he just goes trash truck side loader trash truck and this is the bed they play it's an aggressive metal production

and it's an hour video which has 20 million views. Yeah. So what's the lesson here? What did you learn from their video? We have to stop doing what we're doing. I think. We need to somehow be even dumber.

I never thought that would be a problem for us. This is their song? Yeah. Isn't it fun to talk to somebody who's about to have a kid? Like, do you feel wise? Like they don't know what they're in for? I sort of feel wise, but I also feel like if you talk to somebody who's never seen The Wire or The Sopranos,

you're like, man, I wish I could do that part again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I said I need that new young wife so I could have the new kids. I'll do it right. I'll do all the things correctly. Oh, no. My half-brother or whatever, my dad's son, he never got hit with the belt or whatever I got. Dad's like, I think that was a mistake on him. Because look how he turned out.

Let's make this one good. Uncomfortable laughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ladies never like that bit. It's not a bit. Jen, though, is, we should reset who she is. You met her at Notre Dame, and she was a lacrosse star. Goalkeeper, yeah. Goalkeeper.

Dang. We actually met before Notre Dame. Oh, you did? Oh, yeah, the actual story. Getting it right this time. You forget. Her parents, or her mom, dragged her to a Notre Dame Dallas Club sending away

party in the Dallas area, and my mom dragged me to it. Neither of us wanted to be there, but when we got there, we ended up meeting each other

and kind of like inseparable since then. Okay. What a story. That is an awe. That is an awe. And you had a double major?

Yes, sir. In? Finance and Mandarin Chinese. Mandarin Chinese. So you can roll some Chinese right now? I'm a little rusty. It's been a few years. Okay. Yeah. It's tough to keep it up, I guess. Yeah. Like where do you run into somebody who speaks?

Well, I used to be a flight instructor and I instructed at a school with all Chinese students. You're not allowed to speak Chinese with them in the airplane, but I would go to lunch with them or whatever before or after lessons and speak with them. You're not allowed? Yeah. Why is that? The universal language of aviation is English, so it is required by the FAA that you teach in English. Wow. Mm-hmm.

The universal language of aviation. I just want to say something real quick, okay? From the same makers of we've been going to so many people's houses who are so much smarter, so much more successful, and so much better and intelligent than we are, how are we sitting here talking to someone

who taught Chinese people in English how to fly planes? That was fun. And also this guy's in the NFL. Yeah, he's an all-pro. We got to have something better than you guys. We're going to think of what it is before you get out of here. Trash trucks taken.

The studio. All right, let's evaluate these names. Do you have that list? What is this, Blake? The studio. All right, let's evaluate these names. Do you have that list? What is this, Blake?

This is from the Utah Rodeo, and I believe these are the kids that competed. And this list started making rounds because this is what people are naming their kids these days. Which one's the first and which one's the last? Yeah, I believe their last name first. So we got McCoy. What were your finalists? You certainly had a top two or three, right?

Oh, for names? Yeah. So the second choice, we only really came down to two, was Trenton, Brian, Aubrey, which is snap, hold, kick. Snapper. Trent. Punter. Brian.

Kicker. Whoa. Okay. We just thought it was his name. I do like that. I said it as a joke and Jen actually liked it and I got scared for a little bit. Did you reach out and did either of you veto anything? Oh, yeah.

We went through lists like this all the time, probably thousands of names and we came down with two. Okay. Because my wife wanted Kylie really bad. However, back in that era, I had interviewed a porn star named Kylie Ireland on the air when I worked in Youngstown, and it was the only porn star I had ever met. And then every time, I just couldn't do it.

Like that's what would, it reminded me of that. So we had to go no Kylie. It's a great use of the veto. Yeah, and she really appreciated that I did veto. Yeah. I think my favorite's number five, tuckin'. The bit is you need to just change the spelling of something that's kind of normal you need a while i don't know i mean that used to be the bit but i mean

ryler bronc is not a normal name draxton is not a normal name see haze ryler haze is not i mean i could guess i could maybe see haze for a girl or hazel. Yeah. Perhaps. Who knew Lars was still around? Raygun. Raygun. And also his last name is Steel. Raygun Steel. Okay. Kind of cool.

Never heard so much malarkey in my whole life. You pretty much have to have Charles Bronson play that guy in a movie. I feel like Cash Sweat is a pretty sweet name too. That is a pretty. They're all pretty sweet. They're just very extra. Hayes Hunt. Tibbs Thomas is going to have a country album in 10 years.

Or a 102 mile an hour fastball. Either one, yeah. Do you guys believe that a name can actually shape the way you are? Never really thought about that. Like if you name someone a shape the way you are. Never really thought about that. Like, if you name someone a certain name, you know. Like, my parents named me Jake, and I was just destined to be, like, a massive douchebag. Yeah.

There's really nothing I could do about it. I was like, this is my name. Like, I'm just going to be a white douchebag. Okay. When you put it that way, you turned out pretty well. Thank you. I appreciate that. So what are your vices?

My vices? Yeah. Ice cream and video games. What are we playing? Heck yeah. Right now I'm playing EAFC 24. Just got back into soccer, watching the Euros in Copa America, so I figured why not play the video games too.

What was the story about that recently? Looks like Soapy loves it. What do you mean? Wasn't there like a stampede or somebody broke into a stadium? You guys know what I'm talking about? There's been a lot of fights at Copa America. At the final, Argentina versus Colombia in Miami,

a bunch of fans, I don't know how many exactly, basically without tickets stormed the gate and broke down pretty much the door and the escalator. And when cops and security tried to pull them out of the stadium, they started crawling around vents and just got into the seats. And ticket holders that actually had real tickets weren't able to get in because they're at capacity. So I ended up delaying the game like a full game's length to get it right. Dang. Soccer fans are nuts, man. Oh, yeah. Well, Shakira was performing at halftime.

Well, then there is a reason. The combo. A regular reason for that. See, I was thinking of the vice thing. Like, I didn't know. You chew? No. Drink?

Yes. Okay. The chew thing is interesting because I really enjoyed the video from camp last year where Young Wei Ku was offered a zen. I don't think I've seen this one. By a fan. Oh, really? Like, while he was doing autographs at camp and he just popped one in and went back out there to kick.

Just choose a big player in I guess all sports, right? But football for sure. Especially the ones who don't, no offense, have to run a lot. Well, I'm surprised when you see the linemen with a big chew in. So weird to me.

We had a player in the USFL who would have two or three in on offense, offensive lineman. See, I thought of this last night because my wife's out of town, my wife and kids. So they went out of town. It's great. He keeps telling me this just to make me jealous. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like the fourth time that he's told me this. He wants you to come over. Again, yeah. I'm trying to leave the door open. But, and I was trying to, because these guys are like, well, why is it so great? And I'm like, I don't know, man. It's just like because you can do anything you want and

that doesn't mean I'm doing anything, though. Like, I'm getting to bed early. I'm watching what I want. I'm going to the place that I want to eat. It's quiet. No one's at, it's quiet. House is clean. If I don't want to finish this show, I to eat. It's quiet. No one's at, it's quiet. House is clean. If I don't want to finish this show, I won't. If I do, yeah, I cleaned the house when they first left so that now I live in a clean house.

And then I was thinking last night as I'm washing my couple of dishes, because now all I have is three dishes. But I had my can of chew just lying there. And pouches. I don't want to, you know, not going too crazy. And the dip cup. And I was like, wait.

I was about to pick it up to put it away. I'm like, why? So it's still there waiting for me tonight when I need to fire one in. Like an old friend. Yeah. Like, the house is mine. Oh, yeah, for sure, baby. I would say the,

I would say I left the lid up or the seat up on the toilet except you guys know I sit down. You sit down to pee? No. Thank you. Okay, future you. Jer says yes.

Future you are going to sit, remember this day, and you're going to be sitting there and you are going to sit Remember this day And you're going to be sitting there And you're going to be Although you do stand up desk So maybe you're just a guy Who stands up for everything

That's an extra step to sit down Sookie says no Yeah but then you could You could read You can relax Make sure that everything goes well Like you're not getting anything on the Yeah it won't go all over the place

You know It's really like Also yeah he's right I the tile. Yeah, it won't go all over the place. You know, it's really like I think. Also, yeah, he's right. I think a big part of it is once you have a kid, you're like, I mean, I really only have to do the number one. What if I sit down in here? I could take five minutes. And I could take five minutes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad definitely did that trick. He disappeared to the toilet all the time. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes that's your only place. Yeah. Because disappeared to the toilet all the time. Yeah. Yeah. He just wanted a moment. Yeah. Because that's the only place you can actually say you can't go in there while he's in there. Yeah.

Very early on, Nora learned the word privacy because she would open the door, be like, what are you doing? And I'm like, privacy. It's going to be privacy. Are you guys stoked on the Olympics? Not so much That didn't go anywhere Did you do anything big this off season?

Like any travel? We took a baby moon to Manhattan Beach A what? Baby moon I did that I don't know what that is It's like a trip before the baby kind of makes you.

Oh, a honeymoon type. Yeah. Like one last trip. We went to Grand Cayman. Nice. And the coolest part about it was your wife can't drink. So she has to be. But you kind of can, a little bit at least.

Now, do you do the solidarity thing? No. Okay. I tried it for about a week. It didn't work. I mean, why not? It's not like she's out there doing steps, three steps, and then swinging the leg. Why don't you come out here and kick one from 50?

Yeah. She has made one from 19. Okay, so you do. Honestly, probably more than I could do right now. Old PAT. That's pretty hard. But she's a right now. Old PAT. That's pretty hard. But she's a former college athlete, though. Still hard.

So we're going out to Cowboys training camp, and we thought maybe we would be able to hook up with you, talk to you out there, maybe do a bit. We've done bits on the field in the past with, like, who was throwing us passes? Stephen McGee. Stephen McGee. Stephen McGee would throw us passes.

I fell down and did not catch one. I think you were shirtless. I was probably shirtless. We did punt returns. I think it was a year that we saw Dez. Speaking of Dez. Yeah, it was not Dez. No, no, no.

This one year Dez would stand at the 50 and have the punter pump me a ball, and he'd catch it. And he'd hold it, and then he wanted to see how many he could catch. It was Pac-Man. It was? Yeah. I swear. And then Wade tried to do it?

Yeah. Wade tried to catch? Yeah. It was on hard knocks. Wade Phillips? Yeah. Pac-Man caught like seven punts at once. Okay.

It was pretty amazing. It was pretty amazing. And I think we just tried to catch one. And Wade's just like. Pac-Man caught like seven punts at once. Okay, it was pretty amazing. It was pretty amazing. And I think we just tried to catch one. And Wade's just like, he caught one and then caught a second one. Have you ever caught a punt? Yeah, it's part of my job now. Well, not really part of it, but I enjoy catching punts. So when my punter's warming up, I go out there and try and catch as many as possible.

I can catch like four or five. And do you punt back to him? No. To practice? No, I catch him and put him in a nice pile for him. Turn around, then I can catch like four or five. And do you punt back to him? No. To practice? No, I catch him and put him in a nice pile for him, turn around, then I jog over to the other side, catch him again, put him in a nice pile. And he doesn't do anything for you.

He holds. Oh, that's right. He makes my job really easy because he's very good at holding. It's pretty much the same exact look every time. Is there a fake in the books? I can't tell you. That means yes? It's

bones. Yeah, there's 18 fakes in the books. I was going to say, there's an entire separate section. Alright, here's a fake when we're at our own seven yard line. He's like, yeah, well, why not? See, look at Wade. It's tough for the audio version, but how excited Wade is

about, like, Pac-Man's catching punts. He's got to caught another one. Boy, shorts have certainly changed. Yeah, they really have. What do you mean? You see how big and bulky they were? Yeah, I mean, those guys look like white chocolate. What was this, 07?

Yeah, like you've just got the calf-length short on. Is the football locker room a lot different than the soccer locker room? Yeah, it's way different. The football locker room, most guys are black. Yes, but went through college. Oh, went through college. Yeah, so all the guys went through college. They have a similar shared story, shared experience that we can all relate to versus soccer you have guys coming over

from europe guys coming up through the academy system you got guys that went through college guys that speak italian guys that speak spanish it's kind of big melting pot and sometimes it gets a little clicky but football i feel like outside of your position groups that you're friends with all your position groups, you're friends with then the defense or offense, us, like the special teams. But then, like, you interact well with everyone else too, which is nice. And soccer, sometimes there's just a little bit too much difference between players for that to happen.

That makes sense. I never thought of that. Was there a time that you thought, now I feel more a part of the team, like was after making a big kick or something like that? I joke I still don't I feel more part of the team like was after making a big kick or something like that where I joke I still don't really feel like part of the team because you guys mentioned earlier like special teams we're kind of doing our own thing so the three of us hang out all the time and we are a little bit isolated but yeah I'd say I didn't really feel like I hadn't made the team until about week three, maybe week two, the Jets game.

Even like going into halfway point of the season, it's kind of got to make all my kicks just to make it here for next week. You're working as a kicker for the next week because nothing's guaranteed. Like you said, no money in my contract, no point in the year does it become guaranteed like it did in the MLS. So, I mean, if you get hurt or, you know, you just don't perform well for a couple weeks in a row, then who knows, they're looking at other options. You still on that deal? Did they rip that up? No, no. Why would they do that?

Oh, I guess. Because they're really cool. That's usually how it works. Yeah, no, I guess the point was, hey, we're taking a chance and bringing you to camp. You're going to sign this three-year deal. Yeah, and you'll sign whatever they put in front of you when you were in my situation. So I'm grateful for that opportunity. And hopefully, you know, you just keep it up, right?

Absolutely, yeah. Go out there and keep doing it. Keep earning the next week. Like you've never really, even since your other stops before the NFL as a kicker, have you ever had a slump? My first year wasn't

really anything to write home about in the USFL. It was probably like 83-84% on field goals, but they had a big issue with footballs that year. Like they put chips in it and at 84%, I was all USFL for kicker. Cause the balls, if you would kick them straight, the chip would be either on the left or the right.

And if you didn't have, it worked out with your ops, your snapper and holder to put the chip on the same side every time it would kind of tail left or tail right. And if you didn't know what side that was and you aimed down the middle, it'd be kind of tail right on you or. And if you didn't know what side that was and you aimed down the middle, it would kind of tail right on you or left. So, like, I had the ball, so it would tail left because I have kind of a natural little bit to the right. So, I'd fight it there, and then I'd aim, like, just right of the center line.

So, I ended up adapting to the ball, and they got rid of it about week four, I think. But by that point, the kickers were, like, one for seven, one for eight. It was a rough start for kickers there. So I'd say that would be the learning curve more than a slump. That's so fascinating. Like he's basically like a physicist. Yeah, but even a chip, I can't imagine a chip is that heavy. Well, they put a PVC pipe around it.

It's like the punters, you know how the punters punt like the panel versus we hit the kind of the seam i do not know that okay so kickers hit like the seam behind the laces maybe a little bit right or a little bit left of it but the punters hit the panel of the ball and the pvc pipe was in one of the panels and it was bruising some of the guys's feet starting off in the year so not great for punters or kickers to start off the year, but they got it fixed pretty quick. Okay.

Four weeks, though. Yeah. And that's why that YouTube video of his tackle was called USFL Kickers Can't Kick, But They Can Hit. Because everybody was missing a lot. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's why it was titled that. So what was going through your head when you

missed your first ever nfl kick because it was an extra point wasn't yeah it was an extra point um i just wasn't mentally locked into the game at that point um and kind of rushed out there so this the backstory um i had the opening kickoff the giants are driving they get to about the 20 yard line our 20 yard line they stall they're sending out um Graham Gano for a field goal and it gets blocked I'm sitting there just watching like oh this is gonna be my first field goal to see on the field I want to sit here and actually pay attention and watch and see what he does so I have my cup of water my helmet's on the bench and I'm watching it gets blocked we run it back for a touchdown and I'm like oh that means I got to go out there so I threw my water down grabbed my helmet and sprinted on the field and just kind of rushed through my process didn't really go

through the process because in the back of my head I'm thinking okay I only have 35 seconds I spent 10 of them messing around getting on the field so I got I got a rush so I got rushed and got set but then the referee reset the play clock like he's supposed to I'm just sitting there waiting for all of the celebrations to end everyone get off the field I'm just sitting there waiting for all of the celebrations to end. Everyone get off the field. I'm just sitting there staring at the ball, like in my ready to go. So I wasn't, I just wasn't ready. Um, I had never seen that situation before. And, um, instead of like sitting there and thinking, oh, that sucks. Like I can't miss again. I'm going to lose my job. I just kind of with bones who sat me down and be like, okay, you weren't ready for that. Uh, let's talk through a process. If that happens again, what again what it looks like and what you need to be doing and don't put your helmet down on the sideline so uh luckily we got

a pick six that game maybe like three drives later and same situation i was ready to go and we put it through so learning learning situation um just wanted to sit there and process what went wrong and how to fix it as opposed to like focusing on what happens if i miss another one or whatever so it wasn't like you were saying thinking in that 30 seconds while you're waiting for the celebrate you weren't like this is my first ever kick no no okay it's just there's a rhythm to kicking field goals i'm running out to the field i have my process uh you think like i said you have a full play clock so we kind of know around like five to ten seconds is when the ball is going to be snapped and when i'm going to kick but um on extra points that timing can get a little funky so for me it's honestly a little

bit harder getting the timing right on extra points because you never know how intense people are going to celebrate or if the referee is going to some refs will reset the play clock if the celebration is taking a little bit long some will just let it run and if they're still on the field you got to start your process and i would imagine especially if it's like a sudden change yes type of touchdown not like just a regular drive right included yes not only isn't me it's the punter long snapper offensive line they're not on the field is when when we score on offense, the offensive line's out there, but you have the offensive line running on, you have our defense running off, and guys staying on the field, really celebrating.

So some refs will reset the play clock, some will just let it run. So if it goes down, you'll see a lot of delay of games. Not a lot, but a few delay of games on extra points on sudden change just because the kicker is like, I don't have time, so we're going to take it five yards back, back which is maybe i should have done in that first one um but i'm sure they would have loved that yeah right your first one yeah first first to wrap take the delay a game if you still miss it they're like what is this kid doing have you ever had one where you had to because you'll see occasionally in the nfl the uh

the clock is running out we spike the ball but now there's 10. You run out there, and they barely kick. The Mayday, those are very rare. There was two of them in the season, the whole NFL last year, that I can remember. Both of them were the Broncos in the same game. He made one and missed one, I believe. I haven't had one, but we practice it every week. That is just going out there being an athlete.

You don't get a chance to take your steps. You just really look at the ball, feel like you're in the right spot, and then go. How do you simulate game conditions in practice? That is hard. You really can't. The closest I get is the live reps with the team in practice on tuesday or on wednesday one of the days but uh it all runs together right they the whole team is there watching you um and you hit six or seven field goals in a row and that really simulates

the pressure um but you can't really simulate the whole game like that it's it's really tough especially when you're on your own you can put as much pressure on yourself to make every kick as you think you can, but it won't simulate a game rep. There's no replicating that. Have we seen this sound at training camp sometimes? Like all the players will get around and they're screaming at you and just trying to throw you off your game. Do they do that?

They do mojo moments out there. Love a good mojo. That's right. So what's that? It's just coach plays one of the game theme songs and then everyone's supposed to run to the field he's at and he just announces what the situation is and what we have to do. So a lot of it will be red zone, offense versus defense,

ones versus ones, or made a field goal like the one you're talking about where you just sprint on the field and kick one real quick with a running play clock. Or, like, it's 20 seconds we have to go 40 yards and score a touchdown to win the game. So it's just like a moment where instead of being on two fields split apart, doing your drills, everyone's there watching. So it's just like a moment where instead of being on two fields split apart doing your drills everyone's there watching the music's playing usually the fans are into it pretty good so those are the high stress moments he's trying to create to replicate the games.

So unlike that first extra point miss where you were kind of caught off guard if they are driving end of the half end of the game whatever are you over on the sideline kicking into that net yeah absolutely um on offense i'm catching snaps from trent the long snapper when we're on our half of the field he likes to get three punt snaps uh and then after that bangers punting into the net until we get to about 50-yard line. We get into field goal range. Then I'll start hitting into the net on third down or second down, depending on how fast or what the situation is. If it's like we need to hurry, I'll hit on second down,

one into the uprights, and be ready watching third down. And if it's kind of just like the beginning of the first quarter, beginning of the third quarter, no real tempo to it, I'll hit one. After second down, right as the third down play call is looking like they're going to go. So I'll hit one then and then watch the play and run out. Was there a tough place to kick last year? Yeah. San Fran, Philly, Washington, Buffalo were all pretty tough.

Just the conditions of the field, the wind in those stadiums kind of whips through, which is why I like kicking here. We've got a nice dome, eliminate that. And Oxnard's tough too. Oxnard's tough. You don't really feel it on the field, but above the tree line, you get that ocean breeze that pushes in. It's a little trickier than you think because even below the tree line,

it's like a stadium. It makes it kind of like a bowl. The ball is traveling one way with the wind, and then above the tree line, it might be a different way. There's no flags above the tree line to judge that, so you just got to go out there and practice and kind of hope you don't hit a gust or see what it looks like before you go out for a period. Or that you get fired.

Yeah, I imagine that's frustrating because that's your tryout. Yeah. It's probably the toughest condition you've had to get in. Oh, and they're good about that. They know. And I had another kicker there to compare against, and I did better than him every day, just slightly better than him, and then started getting more and more better,

and they released him. And, you know, at that I thought it was it was pretty early in training camps for the first um before the first preseason game so I thought they might be bringing in a veteran to really secure the the kicking position and really have a competition um carry out through the whole training camp but they brought me into the office after they released Tristan and said we're gonna go you, we want you to have every opportunity to get opportunities in game. So we're gonna bring you, you're gonna be our only kicker for training camp.

If you do well, it's your job, if not, we're gonna bring somebody else in, but you, you are the guy. Was this Coach McCarthy or Jerry or Steven? It was Bones. Oh, Bones, okay. Interactions with Jerry, they've been fun? Oh yeah, so first time I talked to him was at Oxnard.

It was going into our first mojo moment, which actually came before our first field goal period. Because Bones was trying to give us some time to work with our operations and kind of get the snap hold kick all worked out before going into field goal period. But Mike wanted to have a mojo moment for kickers it was like 50 it was long long balls so that came before um the first field goal period and jerry as we were walking out there uh for the mojo moment stopped us both and said hey uh there's a lot of guys watching you don't fuck this up but he was joking he he He laughed it off after giving us a straight face for like three seconds,

said, no, we brought you in here. We have a picture of that moment. It's really great. He's laughing so hard, and Brandon's looking at him like, oh, my gosh. Yeah. Awesome. You getting the new college football video game? I might get it during training camp, see how slow things are out there. You'll have some time. You're not a college football video game um i might get it during training camp see how

how slow things are out there you'll have some time you're not a college football fan though didn't we determine you've only been to one notre dame game yeah i'm not a big college football fan uh i i like the pro game better so yeah i've always been better well i guess they both yeah both now yeah but i've always liked pro sports better than college sports in general. I just felt like the best athletes and the best performances are in the pro game. The farther the kick, the better you are. Yeah. Explain that. It's illogical.

I don't know. I just lock in a little bit more for those, I guess. But I think the only thing that is any different are the extra points. Everything else is I got one blocked in close and then one hit the upright after like kind of the mental letdown of having that streak and i kind of for we had the game in hand it was kind of wrapped up in washington and i let myself kind of feel the moment of the streak ending too long um and hit hit the upright because I wasn't necessarily locked in.

But I don't think I'd necessarily change anything when I go beyond whatever long is in this statement. But for me, nothing in the form changes beyond a certain point. And when I go out in pregame warm-ups, that's where I figure out what that point is. So don't really attempt field goals beyond that range unless it's like a game winner or end of half I don't remember how the streak ended I'd remember the streak so you had the most consecutive field goals to start a career yeah in history it was Washington week week 18 last game of the year or was it yeah last game of the year. Or was it? Yeah, last game of the year. And it was just the first field goal of the game from like 36, right hash.

And it was blocked up a gap. Should that even count as missing a field goal? I'm positive I came in that Monday and was like, that should not count. But it does for the stats. Yeah, I mean, it's not an individual stat. I mean, it's a team stat. You have 11 guys going out there making the field goal because their job's harder than mine.

They've got to block 300 pounds. Some of them have to block two 300-pound guys. They're doing the real work. I'm just kind of getting the glory for it. Natural grass? Turf? That's a tough question for me. As a fan who likes healthy football players

and a teammate of a lot of football players grass as a kicker turf because it's consistent it's consistent and they don't beat it up uh in in the games back to that washington grass is awful right yeah i mean i feel like i mean this is completely made up in my head but i I felt like as soon as they're out of the playoffs, they're like, why bother? Yeah. Not even take care of it. Well, back to like a year ago today, and you're not even in training camp, I guess, yet. No.

When did you get signed? Like, did you do mini camps and all that? July 3rd. I missed all of the off-season training activities and mini camps and all that. Okay, so you were barely a cowboy at this point. Yeah. No, I showed up. My first interaction with the team was getting on the plane

and didn't realize there was a back entrance to the plane, so I'm in the last row of the plane, and I walked on the front and walked past everyone with all my bags, just trying to get through the aisles and made a nuisance of myself. But I got there, and I made it to camp. So you sit in the back? Oh, yeah. Kickers and punters?

No, all the rookies. Bangers and so Brian, he's been in the league for 13 years, so he gets first class. It's all by seniority. So I sit in the back back because I was the last one on the plane, last to be signed. So do you have a consistent row of people you sit by? Yeah, it's the same.

We travel all the practice squad, so I sit back there last year with the training staff, equipment staff, and practice squad. Okay. That's humbling. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So this year you don't know yet, but you're up a little bit.

I might move up two rows. Yeah, okay. There needs to be an all-pros section. Don't get greedy, but maybe two. Yeah. What are we doing on the plane? Usually watching a movie or taking a nap. On the way home, try my hardest to take a nap,

but gosh, sometimes you just can't do it. Yeah. Flip on another movie. A little rowdy? No, it's not rowdy at all, actually. Most people try and sleep, but it's just so late. We play all these night games. Yeah, that's true.

And my body aches. It's like, it's hard so late we play all these night games that's true and my body aches it's like not it's hard to fall asleep on a plane yeah especially when you're a taller guy it's just a normal it's a normal 737 triple triple seven she's the playing yeah she would know what's so she did that uh in english by the way i I'm going to be clear about that. A year ago, though, when you do go to training camp, what's your relationship like with this guy that I know this guy wants the same job I have, but I've got to spend all day with him? Yeah, it was good. We had a nice working relationship.

Brian said he was pretty irritated with us being so friendly with each other. If he made his kicks, give him a little handshake, say, good job, that sort of thing. We're friends, talked off the field. So I really wish the best for him, and I think he's a great guy. But at the end of the day, only one of us are going to be there, and we both knew that. So why make it painful on each other?

Why try and be an asshole to him? I know you can barely affect a kicker's or maybe it depends on the kicker you can get in their head maybe and make them miss one or two more kicks but then i'm thinking about that too like i just go out there and do my job and he was cool he wasn't doing anything no no mind games better make this anybody on the other team ever try to get in your head? Maybe I don't know I don't hear them The Lions game I heard

Some lineman I don't know if it was offense or defense On the sideline just screaming I don't remember what he said She says Eagles I don't know You can't hear anything out there Specifically

I was telling you before I guess we just veered off I don't know. You can't hear anything out there specifically. I was telling you before, I guess we just veered off. We've done bits at camp before. That led to Des Bryant not catching punts. Somebody else did. But yeah, we were hoping maybe we could hook up, do some kind of a bit. I don't know what it would be.

Maybe it's could we beat Jen's length in field goal kicking. Please do that. You feel like you could beat 19 yards? I'm way more confident in being able to throw a 70. Okay. I mean 19 yards doesn't sound like a lot. It's not from the one yard line so it's really not far but it's still challenging. Shortest possible NFL kick. It's really at that distance can you get the ball off the ground? That's a question.

I'll put a cup on and let him kick me in the crotch or something. Oh, you don't want that. That would be a lot more palatable for me than actually attempting to make it feel cool. Than trying to do something athletic to look bad at. I'll try. Are you guys going to be out there,

Jen? You and Dad and Mom dad mom no i won't be there because oh wait she's kind of got a thing going on yeah that's right hopefully bernie makes it back for the birth we'll see about that but i think my parents are gonna go out possibly for a day or two to oxnard so okay and do you have to like inform bones like hey man the due date and we talked about it be leaving yeah we talked. Yeah. We talked about it in length, um, actually in last year's exit interview with both McCarthy and bones. And they're on board with getting me back here after the,

uh, the Rams preseason game. What's an exit interview. Like probably great for you. Yeah. I mean, it was nice and easy this time. I've been through a few,

uh, in the MLS and, uh, U S U F U U u usl not that one the soccer leagues that weren't so great they're like well you you were okay but these kids are way cheaper than you and they do just as good as you so we're gonna go with them and those those suck uh you they ask for your feedback on what they could do better um but after they just cut you you're like just leave me alone.

Yeah, what's the point now? And with the Cowboys, to your point, it was good. It was just asking how the season went, how I adjusted. With Coach McCarthy, he said you did really well. Can you do it in McCarthy voice? No, I'm terrible at it. Making other people's voices. Okay.

Just thought you might have one. Yeah. Well, he just said you did well. We're happy with you. Obviously, keep doing what you're doing. We're not going to mess with anything. And he asked if there were any comments or feedback, and I didn't have anything for him.

Just brought up pregnancy. I'm going to need some time during training camp. And he was really cool with it. He's really a family-oriented guy. He's been awesome. Yeah, time out the next one to be during the Super Bowl, and let's was really cool with it. He's really a family-oriented guy. He's been awesome. Yeah, time out the next one to be during the Super Bowl and let's see how cool he is. Hopefully that doesn't happen.

Didn't somebody have to leave the Super Bowl once or like right after it for a childbirth? Yeah, yeah. Somebody like left on the field right after the game. I think it was like two years ago. The Rams, right? I think so, yeah. Two or three years ago. The Rams, right? I think so. Two or three years ago.

Did he let you ride on his back? What? Did I ride on his back? Yeah, I've always wanted to ride on Mike McCarthy's back. He's a big guy. Oh, no. He just seems like a guy who would give a really great piggyback. Maybe if I make a game winner, I'll run

and jump on it and see if he likes it. I think you should. I think he will like it. I think he'll love it. We've always been amused by Jerry's love of how big McCarthy is. He's a big old boy. When they hired him in the press conference, all that kind of stuff.

You never got that. You never got the opening press conference. We've signed Brandon Aubrey and here he is to the media. I like it like that. You never got the opening press conference. We've signed Brandon Aubrey, and here he is to the media. Like it like that. Yeah. He can do the one-day contract one day. To retire a cowboy. Well, he might just retire a cowboy anyway.

Let's not have him with another team already. The wife doesn't love that one. Yeah, I mean, you're from here. I mean, that's got to be really weird, too, just in your hometown to be – Absolutely. Picking ass. Yeah, I know. It's crazy the way it worked out.

I saw what you did. The number of little things that had to align to end up in Dallas is just incredible. Did you have other teams that reached out? Yeah, yeah. We had the Commanders, for one, and as a Cowboys fan, that would have been a little tough. Non-starter? Well, no, because they're paying you to play football. Okay. The Commanders, for one, and as a Cowboys fan, that would have been a little tough. Non-starter?

Well, no, because they're paying you to play football. Okay. You do that. It's just Cowboys offered, so I'm like, I've got to go to Dallas, obviously. Yeah, okay, so that was basically it. Yeah, pretty much it. If it was any other team and the Cowboys, you're like, okay. Well, there were some workout opportunities, but I have to go out and work out with four or five other kickers and earn the job from that point to then compete with another kicker in camp.

The Cowboys opportunity and the Commander's opportunity were the two most realistic pathways into making a starting job. Do you have an agent? I do. Okay. That seems like a pretty easy job for him. Is she sitting right there? No. Seems like an easy job, though.

It's not like he got you any more than the minimum. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's a tough job to start with where I was at, but he's great. Just to get you in the door. He could have written in an all-pro bonus or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. He does a lot of other stuff other than just the contract, too. He's a busy man.

Yeah. What is the likelihood I'm going to be an All-Pro in year one? What? Just ask for it. Throw it in there. Yeah, I mean, how about an $80 million bonus if I am the best kicker in the NFL? Now, this off season two, you got the key to the city of Plano. Yeah.

What does that even mean? It means I can open any door in the city of Plano. Yeah. What does that even mean? It means I can open any door in the city of Plano. I always thought it meant like any vending machine. Did you ever hear about having a skeleton key? Like a janitor? As a kid, that was like the big thing. For sure. I loved to have a skeleton key.

I could open anything. I could get a Snickers or a Coke. It doesn't matter. I had very low aspirations as a kid. Yeah, well, that's awesome. That's the only one you didn't get. Yeah. You got your workbench. I got a workbench and I have a fireplace.

Those are the things I want to grow. There's his key. Yeah. Okay. Mr. Plano. They named a day after me in the city of Plano. When is that? Free sandwiches that day? Like May something?

It was May something. May 22nd maybe? Now is it every May 22nd or just that? Just the 2024th. Oh. Or 2024. Did you guys like the eclipse?

Loved it actually Should I answer that seriously? Yeah Yes Yeah I did I thought it was really good You know this idiot left town? It was lame

Where'd you go? He doesn't know it was lame You weren't here It was awesome I saw pictures and videos We were here We did a live stream It's not the same

Brain tell me what it was like When it was dark for three minutes. It was incredible. He's underselling it. It was dark and slightly cooler. It was like November and April. It was cooler. What if it would have happened during a kick? It happened during a kick? Yeah. It happened during a kick. Good thing we're inside. You would have had to. Good thing we're inside. You would have had to use VR to prepare or something.

You are inside, but does that sun ever get in your eyes? We do a good job of picking the side that it won't. Okay. But sometimes, yeah. It's usually fairly close into the end zone by the time the second half rolls around. So, no, I haven't had one where it really affected me. Okay. And if you did, you're not allowed to say that because – I have not been instructed.

The word is that Jerry won't put up curtains because it looks cool or something. I don't know. Right? Every year there's always fans concerned about that. I don't think this is going anywhere either. We'll use it as an advantage because we're used to it, right? Yeah. There you go.

This guy knows what he's doing. I'm trying to help you when the media starts grilling you after one of those games. The light ever does get in your eyes. Oh, the sun was in my eyes. Sorry next one you can't say that brian anger could hit that scoreboard every time if he wanted right absolutely yeah it must be a weird scene yeah um so a lot of the punters that are younger haven't really been in a stadium like that come out and warm-ups and try and blast them straight up into the scoreboard and i just think it's bad practice for them to get out of their habits of picking out their corners and really hitting, like,

a nice average between hang time and distance. So, like, Banger doesn't try and do it, but he could do it whenever he wanted. What's the farthest kick, like, in practice? Not running, but with the regular steps. For a field goal? Yeah. We call that a field goal. Do I have wind at my back? Boy,

now you're going to add all these caveats to my, what seemed to be a simple question. Let's say indoors. Indoors? The air conditioning is behind you. The air conditioning's behind me. Is it a game or is it just practice? Because I get a little juice in the game. No, not in the game. No, no, no. When you're practicing. You practice probably like

70 yards. 70 yards. What did you try against New England? New England? It was like right before half, right? Yeah. They didn't. No? They sent me out for 66, but somebody jumped offside and or false started. Someone false started, moved us back five yards,

and then we didn't try it from 71. You would have liked to um i don't think so i mean at that time i had the street going i hadn't missed it that's right baseball player that doesn't want to play when he's hitting 400 or 300 or something what's the longest you can you have kicked with like a running start like a kickoff start i don't even measure that. It's out the back or it's not out the back. So, I mean, I put a few through the uprights throughout the season.

Usually if we're AT&T, hit one or two a game through the uprights. And how long is that, 75? 75 yards to the upright. And then like probably like goes like 82, 83 yards if I had to guess. Okay. I don't want him to kick me in the balls anymore. Yeah. Are you watching Hard Knocks?

Not yet. Saving it for training camp. Okay. The off-season one with the Giants? Yeah. Yeah, I've been just watching that. I've seen a lot of clips about Saquon Barkley and whatnot. That's really the main stuff.

Yeah. Or at least I've only watched the first couple episodes. I think there's three. And it is pretty fascinating. Yeah, I just started watching that receiver show. What do you think of that? I think it's awesome. I love the insight into people's preparation.

Like, you get to see five of the best receivers in the league and what they do and how they maintain their game. So I love watching that stuff. I've seen the clip of, like, is it Devontae Adams complaining about his quarterback? Yeah, I feel bad for him. Garoppolo? Mm-hmm.

He's like, damn, he can't get me the ball. You ever hear any of that on the sideline? Not with the Cowboys, of course. No, no. The other sideline all the time. Yeah, everybody's very happy. All right, man. Well, it's great having you in studio.

Yeah. We appreciate you coming. I know you were going to hang out for the first half of the show, and I think we're about there. But we'll run into you again, hopefully at training camp. And I guess if we don't. We're driving. You're driving?

In an RV. Oh, my gosh. That sounds like a brutal time, but. Yeah, it certainly does. Good luck driving? In an RV. Oh, my gosh. That sounds like a brutal time, but. Yeah, it certainly does. Good luck. Yeah. Thank you. But it's what we got to do year one, you know?

Sometimes you got to sit in the back with the practice squad players. Yeah. You know, the Cowboys have a media plane. Maybe you guys can get on that. Yeah. Yeah. They're letting us be there. Yeah.

And that's pretty much what we're going to accept. And if we don't see you, then I guess it's good because we got Colton on the way, right? Absolutely. Hopefully he stays put where he's supposed to until the 12th. My wife would complain. Well, she only complained when one person did this. And it was my mom. But my mom just felt it was okay to put her hand on her belly.

Yeah, that's not good. And my wife did not like that at all. Is that something that you've had happen to you? Not really. I mean, I've had it happen once or twice, but for the most part, people are pretty good about asking first. And then do they have the funny... So you weren't upset when I did it earlier,

when I first saw you. Does everybody have the funny quip? That, ah, tell us his brand. Like, they feel the kicking. Oh, yeah. They always say, ah, he's a kicker, isn't he? Yeah. And you're like, yeah, yeah.

That's a good one. So original. Yeah, that's a good one. All right. All right, man. Brian, or excuse me. Oh, come on. I was thinking of Banger. Brian, or excuse me. Oh, come on.

I was thinking of Banger. I can get Brian on. Brandon Aubrey, thanks for joining us. Jen, thanks. The Blooms, thank you. And yeah, we'll do this again sometime soon. Absolutely. Thanks for having us.

All right. The Dunza. Dunza. we'll do this again sometime soon absolutely thanks for having us alright the dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza

dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza

dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza dunza You're listening to The Dumb Zone. So we're back. Everybody have a good break? Great break.

I didn't get to go potty. You can go now if you want. Right there. Hold on. You close your eyes to pee too? Oh yeah, I close my eyes. Especially when you have to go this bad. So many bits.

A little mini-o. Every time. That was cool, wasn't it? Yeah. that guy's awesome man he's great he is awesome at some point he will almost certainly tire of us but that day is not today yeah so what do we have for the second half of the program guys we have the news i have a couple videos I'd like to play. Wait, what? If you want to get to news, we can.

No, no, no. I'm just asking for a rundown. I thought that'd be funny if I played that, Blake, but I guess not. Russell Westbrook's going to the Nuggets. Whoa. Oh, okay. I had heard that. I mean, it's a trade and buyout.

Was it possibly? They're trading him to Utah, and he's like, no, not happening. So Denver took that poison pill, huh? I guess so. Wait a second. Explain. He's going to be traded to... From the Clippers.

From the Clippers to the Jazz, expected to clear waivers and sign with Denver. Okay. Which I kind of love. Yeah. Because I don't think he can help any team anymore. Yeah, we were talking about him here, perhaps. No, you were. You were.

Right, and you guys were papooing it. Yeah. Pretty out on it. Yeah. All right. What's the Kyrie deal? Did you guys see that? Broke his hand?

Doing what? Who knows He said training Shouldn't that feel like a bigger story? Like he had surgery to repair a broken hand Yeah what's his timetable? I feel like that's the sort of thing You can get back from pretty quickly

But I mean yeah We had the Dak boot a week ago, and now we have the Kyrie hand. That's right. Dak was seen in Florida or something with a boot. It was somewhere beachy. Somewhere beachy. I don't know if it was Cancun or Cabo or Florida.

Galveston. It probably was not Galveston. Bachman Lake. It did kind of make me sad seeing all the Cowboys at Tyron Smith's wedding realizing that he's not here anymore. Yeah. Are you guys interested

in a little Hard Knocks? I thought about playing it while Brandon Aubrey was here, but then felt like we had other stuff. So what he was talking about, let me just play the Saquon stuff, because it is kind of interesting. So this is Bro GM. What's his name?

Sean? Joe. Shane? Shine? Shine. Joe Schoen. And man Shine? Shine. Joe Shone. And, man, he's... He's very bro.

He's very bro. He's very young. He's... Okay, so here he is calling Saquon Barkley's agent, and then it'll transition to him actually calling Saquon Barkley. And it's agent, and then it'll transition to him actually calling Saquon Barkley. And it's funny, too. I told you this seems to be a show about how great he is, and it's just showing him being all badass,

and he's walking up to the podium, and he's going to say some stuff. So they show him getting ready to make this phone call, and he's sitting at his computer. He's sitting at his desk making this phone call, and you could see from behind him on his computer is like a football game playing unnecessary so he's just sitting always watching a football game yeah like i don't know what game it was i don't know what the situation was but somehow there's a game playing on his desktop that's why we'll put just background videos of like Cataldi.

Right. Just radio guys talking in the microphone. Yeah. Yo. Ed Berry, what's up, buddy? What's shaking? Oh, not much. I've been dealing with this for a long time since last November.

Here's what I'm worried. We offer him something. He gets a little pissed off because it's not what he wants. We offer him something, he gets a little pissed off because it's not what he wants, and then some other team comes in a million over us, and he's pissed at us. He feels disrespected. He's disrespected, so he goes. That's an interesting just mindset

that that's what you're dealing with too with the pro athletes. It's not just kind of offer the most money. It's since you've been here, you have to make the offer good enough that he won't even look elsewhere. The funny thing about that is, typically the team that you played for,

they know you best. Their offer is probably the most accurate one you're going to get. They've seen you in practice every day. They know your medicals. They've seen what you can and can't do. Another team doesn't, so they typically have to outbid and overpay.

They've dealt with him last year where they did try the franchise tag and it went as it goes these days. He was not very happy with that and said he was going to sit out and all that kind of stuff. Right. Yeah. I'm going to let him go to the market and you just want to keep your word and say, Hey, you know, he said he wants to be a giant for life. You know, the chance of being in the ring of honor. There's, there's a lot of things out there that it's so funny to hear big that

like, you know, I i mean he could take a million more a year or the giant's ring of honor i mean that coveted spot right and then you could uh you could just pay your mortgage with the giant's ring of honor yeah go down and cash my ring of honor check hey you know he said he wants to be a giant for life you know the chance of being it's it's fun okay let me even back up and play it again. I just wanted to make sure you'll keep your word. He said he wants to be a Giant for life. I heard him say that.

I'm going to let him go to the market, and you just want to keep your word and say, hey, he said he wants to be a Giant for life. The chance of being in the Ring of Honor, there's a lot of things out there that he's got to take into account. I think he can still play. It's just you of things out there that he's got to take into account. I think he can still play.

It's just you've got to get the value right. And you look at the data. The data is like it is what it is. That's why I'm asking like in your room at night when you're by yourself, are you like, I wouldn't mind if this kid battles? Yeah, I'm torn. I'm torn, Ed, because I still think he can play, and I think he can help us. But I didn't want to come in at a number because I really don't have a great idea where the market is.

That's why I'm going to let the league tell him what it is. And, hey, if you want to come back and be a giant, let's try to find something that makes sense. Like, we're close. Then let's have a conversation because, again, I do think he was our best offensive player. Yep. Okay. I appreciate it. All right. I'll shoot you a text after I talk with him. Okay best offensive player. Yep. Okay. I appreciate it. All right. I'll shoot you a text after I talk with him.

Okay. All right. Thanks, Joe. Thanks. Okay, bro. We'll circle back. God, everything about that just... Just fire you one off.

I don't want to use the word cringe, but everything about that felt cringe. Yes, I feel like saying cringe feels cringe, but... Yeah. Like, hey, when you go to bed in your room at night right is that is that how do you feel yeah and then also as you kind of pointed out like the hilarious thing of saying uh are you going to keep your word and then telling somebody what their word was you know what i mean yeah remember when you said that remember when you said that are we gonna stick to that i mean i guess if you want to be a liar. I wouldn't want to be a liar, but that's you.

You know, I mean, you'd live for it. You want to piss away the Giants ring of honor? Go ahead. Now I think we're calling Saquon. Uh-oh. Hold on, pause. Yeah, can we guess what he says to him? Okay, yeah, that's what I wanted to do.

I don't think he calls him Saquon. I could be wrong, but I feel like. S-dog. S-dog. S S-Dog. SQ. Quan. What's up, Bar? Quan Dog.

What's up, Bark? Barks. He doesn't say hello. He says sup. Sup. All right, this is interesting. How does he greet his best offensive player? Hello?

Saquon. It's a letdown. It's a letdown. It's a letdown. I agree. Saquon. Yeah, what's up? You doing all right?

Hi. You in Jersey right now? Okay, now I love all this because now it's just all a bunch of small talk, and really there's only one reason this guy would be calling Saquon Barkley. You in Jersey right now? Yeah, I'm in Jersey right now. Like, listen to the reaction of Saquon to the small talk. He knows.

You in Jersey right now? Yeah, I'm in Jersey right now. How's the off-season been? You doing anything? What are you, us talking to Brandon Aubrey? Reading any books lately?

What shows? What's on the iPad right now? How's the off-season been? You doing anything? Yeah, I've been good. Traveled a little bit, but just starting to get back into the aquatic off-season treatments.

Yeah. All right, so I just talked to Ed. So that was the extent of the small talk. Yeah. All right, so I just talked to Ed Berry, and I think just mulling over this, the right thing to do is let you test the market and see what your value is. I don't want to do the franchise thing or all that stuff again.

I don't want to go through that. We've both been through that. If you really want to be a giant for life and you're interested in staying here and coming back. Passive-aggressively reminding him what you said in the press. Yep. If you really want to be a giant for life and you're interested in staying here and coming back. Passive-aggressively reminding him what you said in the press. Yep. If you really want to be a giant for life and you're interested in staying here and coming back, just see what your market is and then have Ed come back to us,

and we'll see if we can come to an agreement. All right. I appreciate that. Does that sound good? Yeah. Can you give me your word on that, or you're not going to give us a chance? So really, what is the word that he's supposed to give you? So he said a lot of stuff.

Like, Saquon didn't say anything. He just said, well, we'll do that, and you can come back. Give me your word. Like, Saquon right now is thinking, F this guy. 100%. I am 100% gone. Even if I get offered a little bit less, I'm gone. Yeah.

We can come to an agreement. And you know what? Maybe that's what the Giants want. But they also know the cameras are here. Public perception. In the pre-meetings about this, yes. He's kind of their franchise guy he's like uh if it was zeke and dac but dac wasn't here like yeah it's daniel jones yeah no one likes daniel jones

and they've already given him like 45 million dollars so if i'm saquon i'm looking at that being like what right and you're dicking me around? Yeah. And also, Saquon Barkley, health issues accounted for, has been so much better than Zeke, it's not even close. Yeah, there's been no drop-off. We can come to an agreement. All right, I appreciate that. Does that sound good? Yeah.

Yeah, so basically he's... Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Can you give me your word on that, or are you not going to give us a chance? What do you mean? I'm still going to go? Yeah. I mean, I already told you where I want to be, so.

Okay. All right, well, let's do that. We'll go out and see what the market says. He hangs up and knows. We'll go out. I love you, man. I appreciate everything you did for the organization, you know, the two years I was here. And I'm not saying we're not going to get something done, but I think it's right if for some reason it doesn't work out that you know that the organization thinks the world of you

and everything you've done. But hopefully, you know, you go out there, you see the market and you say, you know what, I want to be here

and you give us a shout back. I appreciate you. All right, stay quiet. I'll talk to you. All right, bye. Later, bruv. That guy's a clown. Yeah.

That guy's a clown. Yeah. That guy's a clown. So this is right before, so Free Agency is episode three. I'm not fully through it. I'm through, I guess, halfway. And Free Agency is starting, so they're signing this guy, this guy, this guy. They haven't lost Saquon yet, but they're talking to the owner who, it says John Mara. That's his name. But the audio reminds me of a current president of the United States.

Okay. What's the latest hey man never heard so much malarkey in my whole life it's real funny okay let's okay go let's go back to back hold on wait what what's the latest you have the morals of an alley cat you have the morals of an alley cat what's the latest you're the sucker you're the loser what's the latest never heard so much malarkey in my whole life so you know the sequel man yeah the the scene before this too franchise too um daniel jones was was kind of funny too because this guy is like 38 or when he got hired maybe he's 40 now the gm yeah you know john mara is like 80 and has been through this a million times and then the young gm is like explaining to him the situation there and he's like i mean this is the sit around and wait time you know bro this is the time we

gotta just kind of wait i mean it's out of our hands now we got offers out there we've thrown this this this this what's the latest just on the saquon thing. I just got a text that Chicago's driving the price up and Philly's out. I don't know if that's true or not. Which I don't know. I'll make a couple calls. I don't even know if that's going to happen. I have a tough time sleeping if Saquon goes to Philadelphia. I'll tell you that.

As I've told you, just being out. I haven't been around enough players. But he's the most popular player we have by far. Yeah. Never heard so much malarkey in my whole life. So I kept this in just for you guys. Is it like a cash sound? Yeah, so the whole theme of episode three is that we're wheeling

and dealing and like it's the cards are being shown and like you're holding your cards and like they it's kind of like the little ESPN 30 second in-game bit where they're telling you about somebody's past

with animatronics or whatever it is yeah graphics um but they're doing it with real actors like they're in an old west saloon dealing and it's it's unnecessary it's unnecessary but you know well i just think it's as a football man like john mara um who came up through the ranks by literally just being the son of Wellington Mara and becoming the general counsel of the Giants right out of law school. Yes. I trust his instincts on this. Right. He's the guy that should know.

Yeah. At least Jerry put on a helmet. It's very funny, too. I have a... But you can see where the owner says, this player is really popular and makes us a lot of money through merch and whatnot. And the GM says, well, we can't have him. While Jerry is probably...

That's also true. A lot of people love Zeke. That's the difference here, for sure. Yeah, but there is also something to the idea of the Philadelphia thing. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's not like Zeke went to the commanders before coming back. Well, and it's also, though, like you said, Saquon's got a lot left. I think so.

He looks like he could damage you. I think he probably will. They weren't really worried about him. No, I mean, unless they needed a center. Because that was his last play as a cowboy. Not anymore. Well, it still is.

I suppose if he doesn't make it through camp, yes. And I'm somewhat hoping for that, just because I want that to be the thing that they play whenever he goes to the Ring of Honor. On what day of camp will we hear that Zeke is in the best shape of his life? That is absolutely coming.

Right now he's working out. Here's Zeke. His last year as a cowboy. Here's Zeke now. He just looks so much better. He's quicker. Yeah. New number. Does he even play preseason? Learn something from Belichick. Oh my. Oh, my. That's right.

That'll be the big question at camp, right? What did you learn? What was it like playing for the greatest coach in history? All right. Anyway, I think it's kind of worthy, though, watching this show. You are watching a doucher run a team, but, you know, it's still interesting. You want to do anything before mail? Yeah, I've got a couple videos I'd like to play you.

All right. The first one reminded me of a couple weeks ago, there was a celebrity golf tournament, and the reporter thought they had Vince Young. Yeah. It was not Vince Young. No. Well, our friends down in Austin, they run a network called Texas Sports Unfiltered.

And yesterday. Brad Kellner. SEC Media Days for Players. So yesterday on Keenan and Eric's show, they're at SEC Media Days. They got hit with the same thing. And it was pretty electric. So i wanted to share this with you okay so he's gonna go and get her set up and i will as i'll intro some time gonna be very texas heavy gonna talk everything texas sec media days the players are available i'm sure you heard

jeff and company talk about the fact that Jadé Barron has just been interviewed on the SEC network. Yes, he was. The Texas triumphant of Jadé Barron, Kelvin Banks, and Quinn Ewards here, along with head coach Steve Sarkeesian. But we have a special guest, someone I know is near and dear to Keenan's heart. She is Michelle Montaigne of WFAA and also a Texas ex, if I have that correct. Caroline Fenton of Yahoo Sports.

God, Kenan. Well, you're our guest today. Yes, and I'm happy to be here. Not a Texas Ex. I graduated from LSU, but excited to have Texas in the league, nonetheless. Yes, absolutely. It gets better. So what did you get out of LSU?

I graduated from LSU in 2019. Okay, cool. So you got to witness the season. I did not. So I graduated May of 2019, but my senior year was Joe Burrow's first year. Oh, my gosh. And that's when I think at LSU we kind of started to see a transition and we saw something kind of special.

So they tried to dig out. They didn't get anything. I just want to say this, okay? I am so happy that this was not two white people confusing a black guy again. Like, the fact that this just happened to a white woman is the best news I will get today, bar none. Bar none. So I don't know if you want to see it again, but it's the middle guy. It's Kenan's friend.

Hey, we have on Michelle Montaigne, who Keenan went to school with. They're best friends. And Keenan's sitting there fist-bumping like, yeah, she's my great friend. And it's not her! And he's trying to set up her ears, the headset. I like how the guy that intros

it all just kind of laid out on all of it, too. Yeah, he was using that. I mean, we're having her on because she went to Texas. Yeah, we're all friends. Yes, she was. Watch the middle guy. Caroline Fenton of Yahoo Sports. Here to Kenan's heart, she is Michelle Montana, WFAA, and also a Texas Ex, if I have that correct. Caroline Fenton of Yahoo Sports. A Texas Ex, if I have that correct.

Caroline Fenton of Yahoo Sports. Have that correct. Caroline Fenton of Yahoo Sports. That is phenomenal. God, Kenan. Kenan, what are you doing? He's your friend. Yes, and I'm happy to be.

Oh, but then you were there for LSU National Championship. So you were there for the season. No. I graduated. No. No. If somebody says they graduated in 2019, you don't think to that fall that they were there for that.

But I guess right there, they're dodging. Oh, my gosh. I was going to say, yeah, that's pretty far down the list of errors that we dealing with at that point he's trying to dig out god that's awesome yeah i'm so happy that that was a white person and then the second thing um i think we need to see shane as trump i've watched it so many times i watched the entire two hours last night what is it it's kill tony which is you know he was a part of the uh the brady roast yeah he was great yeah and i'm not sometimes their podcast is a little bit much for me it goes a little bit uh a lot going on a little bit further than i'm probably comfortable with but uh they they had a fake Biden. And kind of like what the bit that they do

is they will have people come up and do like 90 seconds or two minutes of standup. And then the panel will just basically roast the person. And like, for example, last night they had a guy who had been divorced three times by the age of 25. And so they just started asking him questions about that. They just started making jokes about that. But what they did last night or, you know, the last show was they had a fake Biden. And to me, it seemed like the fake Biden didn't know that Shane was going to be there as the fake Trump. And like when we see Shane do fake Trump in his standup, he's not in costume. We saw it on Trump speed dating. But that's really the only time I've ever seen him actually dress up as Trump.

But this was, as I saw somebody put on Twitter, this to me is the peak of mastering your craft. It's so much better. Can you believe the dog shit impersonation that SNL ran out with Rust Shooter, Alec Baldwin. Yeah, it wasn't great. It was so bad. It wasn't just cartoonish. It wasn't even close to accurate.

They ended up hiring James Austin Johnson. The guy from online, yeah. So Shane just kind of walks out. He doesn't do. Yeah, so Shane just kind of walks out. He doesn't do. Wait a second. Oh, my God.

Shane's kind of fat, so he looks very similar. Doing the dance. Love the dance. Love the dance. He's got all his mannerisms down. Yeah. The Biden guy looks funny too. Just sitting there with his mouth open catching flies. Low clap.

Love the low clap. Oh my god! Ladies and gentlemen, the real president of the United States is here. Not breaking character yet. Oh, my God. What are you guys doing? Cracking up a little bit there. Shaking hands with Biden. This is an unbelievable moment.

You've got to purse the lips to try to... Biden's mouth hanging open. Joe Biden, sit down, sit down. The hair is so perfect. Tony, what an unbelievable experience it is. What a great show this could be instead. We've got an absolute idiot here running the show. This is a moment we will never forget.

This is incredible. What a shocking surprise. The Biden guy has to put glasses on because he knows he doesn't anything like biden's yeah we had h2o we had the best numbers ever for water yeah we had h2o but yeah they went on for two hours that's awesome what's the latest you have the morals of an alley cat i don't think he knows what he said either i've heard so much malarkey my whole life oh yeah wait a minute uncle hotmail Yeah, I looked at our daily run sheet that we share now. And all that's on there today is Brandon Aubrey and mail.

I don't know if we're sticking with it, but it's our Friday. is Brandon Aubrey and mail. I don't know if we're sticking with it, but it's our Friday. It is. That's why. And because it's our Friday, guys, I have a bunch of birthdays. People getting them in before the weekend. Today, July 17th. Oh, this came in yesterday. I missed it.

Good DF Jeff Martin's birthday. Not sure how old he is. Not sure his leaders. And I'm not sure his DF number because I'm not gay. Oh. We enjoyed talking about all the tea when the cumulus stuff went down. So thanks to help making us feel like schoolgirls again. DF number 1604, like the spare highway, Max.

So Jeff Martin, it's his birthday. Uncle Hotmail, birthday shout out to Barrett, who finally becomes a man on Saturday the 20th. His leaders are Jake and Saroy. We're both time XP1s day one glens and now recent converts to whatever the hell this thing is

good question that is from Sean who says PS more Saroy and then I have dear Dan and Jake please give a shout out to my good friend and fellow dumb... Dumb cumster.

Jeez. It's hard to shock me. I kind of like it. It's the play on cum dumpster. Yeah, no, that's super... I got it. Oh, you guys got it? Oh, yeah, for sure, baby.

Raymond will have a dumb cumster shirt in a half hour. Oh, I don't know if we need that. Oh, no, guys, I'm shocked by this one. Are you leading? It was jarring,

is all I'm saying As it were Make Bush's great again Anyway the guy Dumpster guy is Jason Heisler His heroes are Dan, Jordan Shipley And Letarian Jordan Shipley wow You know he was roommates with Colt McCoy

No way Only child No he actually had a Wow, do you know he was roommates with Colt McCoy? No way. Yeah. Only child? No, he actually had a brother who was also, I believe, good friends with Colt's brother, Jackson and Case. That's from Jared Reamer. They would go fishing together. Reamer, the Fort Collins DFDC.

P.S. More Danny. The one guy wants more Saroy, this guy wants more Danny. What do we do? The fuck is that guy's name? Uncle Hotmail, I am turning Pat Tillman on the Cardinals times Anfernee Hardaway or Pat Tillman on the Sun Devils minus Brett Maher.

My leaders are the buying a single banana from the grocery store. 47. Then heading home with the potassium boost to moose my wife while wearing a bomber jacket. This is from Nick Saia. He says, I vaguely remember y'all talking about the story of Anthony Kim cashing out on an insurance policy, and one of the implications was that he was not allowed to golf for a certain amount of time, even recreationally.

Anyway, I am wondering if you two have looked up a recent picture of Anthony Kim, since he is now back and on the live tour. He looks a bit worse for wear. I would appreciate you dusting off one of your 20 or so investigative reporting hats and giving us a follow-up. And then Nick says, more 690 guests bullying. Oh, more 690 guests bullying the Reddit LGBTQ plus community. Is that a picture of Anthony Kim? The gallery is reacting negatively to this current picture of

my goodness. Progol for Anthony Kim. Would you trade? You now look like that for the rest of your life and worse because you ain't getting better for the $20 million insurance policy that he had or whatever. Probably so, yeah. And I believe Liv might have bought out the policy,

so he's still making more than that. I'm just saying you have to look exactly like Anthony Kim. And worse. Right. And somehow you have to explain to your kids. Dad, why aren't we Asian? I'm like, don't worry about it. I paid for your college.

Yeah, he looks like a badass right there. Yeah. Anna K, right? He does look like Salt Bae. You know Anna K? I do. She says, it's our best friend Stephen's 39th birthday. Our must mean her and Pedro.

She says, my leaders are whoever can get the traffic on Dove Road to stop being a bitch at 5 p.m. every day. And Dan's censored version of she'll be coming around the mountain. So, I don't know if you guys even know what this is. Oh, I know. Many years ago, I was concerned about the future, the health

of our children and their morality and these dirty songs that I heard. I heard a dirty song on one of our kids' CDs. Maybe it was Lori Berkner. I don't know if you guys are into Lori Berkner. But that was a big deal when I was little. I'm aware, though.

And apparently I had offered a censored version of one of these dirtiest songs I've ever heard. I went back and found that, and I thought the editing was poor. My editing was poor back then. So I red ever heard. I went back and found that and I thought the editing was poor. My editing was poor back then, so I redid it. We can... So now you can play... This is like Kidz Bop. Now, your parents won't be offended when you're in the car and playing Kidz songs. Six white horses, huh?

You might not have realized there's like six different verses to this song. Hey, a celebration! A pat on the back. Really, it is different when you think about it in that context. That's what I do every time. Because the around the mountain thing doesn't make sense.

But having some cake and ice cream? You do get excited. If it finally happens. Okay. Maybe a promo code for a pajama company or something This is very accurate, though If you've ever seen the sexy time we have at home That sounds really dirty

She'll be wearing wool pajamas When she f***ed Itch, scratch, yum, yum Lick, lick I did not know that there was a lick lick line. I will do that. Hey, hey. Like they're so amazed that you finally got to that point.

Here's some cake. Here's cake. There's like a big sign. Mission accomplished. Okay. Can I tell you I was on top? Oh, my. Hey, Dan, I heard y'all will be taking my birthday off.

So Friday is my Kevin Mensch birthday. 28? I yelled at him from the outfield one summer. Why? Because he sucked. Oh, come on. Shrek was just fine. And he had a huge head.

Probably doing something funny like putting a bubble gum on someone's head. It was mostly just that it was easy. You know, you're in the outfield, it's 200 degrees outside, and you could get, like, front row seats. Were you drunk? No, I was, like, 12. Like, our friends would go there and just yell at him. The Rangers were terrible.

See, I was a supportive young fan. I always felt good things were going to happen for Joe Carter. And then they did. I willed it to happen. It's true. I failed Kevin Minch. Let's see. I would guess that I'm the only DF in Memphis.

There's no way. I'm a day one or number 451. That's insane. Considering four times five equals 20 minus one equals 19, which is the day I was born. Oh, my God. From Will. By the way, because I have access to the show account as well,

so I'll see that in my Google. Yeah, who's laughing now? A lot of people are trying to buy their way into being Day 1. Yeah. Blake's a businessman. Yeah. Yeah, you mocked it. And you mocked it.

Because you mock it. Go, Blake! Yeah. Yeah, you mocked it. And you mocked it. Because you mock it. Go, Blake! Dear leaders, Friday is my birthday, so take the day off.

Pro tip, don't eat the chocolate croissant sold on the Seine Riverside from Glenn. Good. Uncle Hotmail, Josh in Salina. Bobcats. That's a layup. I know. You don't get credit for that one. That's why I said it softly.

Day two, number 1286 here. My birthday is July 19th. I'll be on a cruise. I won't hear this until I get back, but I plan on celebrating not with a moose, but by doing the Cajun hot stick. Hell yeah from Josh. So he's from Louisiana. Do you have any idea here? I don't know about that one. Cajun hot stick. Hell yeah, from Josh. So he's from Louisiana. Do you have any idea here? Don't know about that one.

Cajun hot stick? Mm-mm. Dan? I don't know any of these weird things that you guys know. He doesn't explain in there? He does not. The gator wrestle. Where you get that gator grip and you wrestle her down.

The twisted turn. You get that gator grip and you wrestle her down The twist and turn Cleveland Steamer, I've heard of that That's what we used to do growing up Dear Bracket Dan, I have a formula A birthday formula this year that even Jake can't hate on Yeah, you guys just look it up if you want Yeah, I I'm not going to... The funniest part about this to me is that on Urban Dictionary, so it'll give you this incredibly graphic definition,

and then the use it in a sentence is just, my girl loves the sensation when I give her the Cajun hot stick. Like the use in a sentence provides you absolutely no context or help with the definition like at all. Let's see. I have a birthday formula this year that even Jake can't hate on. It is my Luca minus Pat Mahomes birthday. Blake is my leader.

Let's face it. If not for Blake, this whole thing would have collapsed like a house of cards by now. It's very true. Agreed. Blake is the Travis Barker of the trio. You and Jake are genius, but it's Blake that holds everything together from Jeff and River Oaks. That's true. Well, that's a good note.

You know what I took out of this? That we're genius? You and Jake are genius. Thank you, Jeff and River Oaks. That is so true. But there's no way. Caitlin Clark looks like she keep it hairy. There's no way that they're going on to play arena tours with Scott Rayner as the drummer.

They wrote the songs, but they needed Travis Barker to elevate things. And final birthday is my friend Matthew Jowell's birthday. Some people will like that. My leaders are the tepid throat clear that Dan issues after Jake says, there's your news, to make it seem like there isn't a long delay before he hits the sounder. And Jake trying to appear that he obviously knew a fact that a 690 sit-in just said even though he clearly didn't that's so specific yeah uh the only one that i had was uh someone did tell us that during covid boober happened there was something actually called that

yeah and they got sued by Uber But it happened in Portland Because the strippers couldn't work So the strip club Some strip clubs I've actually never eaten at a strip club But I know Lou Williams has Lemon Pepper Lou

And there was there was stories that like the Magic City Wings were the best cities the best wings in the city so this strip club had good food

and they started having their women who worked there deliver it topless and they called it Boober they have an Instagram

yeah there's their Instagram their little motto is let's bounce yeah Boober. They have an Instagram. Yeah, there's their Instagram. Their little motto is, let's bounce. Yeah. Yeah. But we still have an LLC. Yeah, I don't know where the legal case stands, but they apparently did get sued by, or a cease and desist from Uber. So we have something in common with boober i wonder how

their business when wednesday is yeah exactly um but hordash is still out there for the taken hordash appears to be still available for us yeah my one non-birthday email had to do with a trash truck follow-up a guy who actually works for waste management wanted to give us a lot of fun facts that indeed they do have great benefits. They're

part of a union. I am hoard. He said recycling actually does get recycled the trucks are insane tells us that the drivers being a driver you have to get up and start your route at 4am to beat the traffic getting around and then he

says if y'all ever have a hankering to do a trash round table I'd be pumped to contribute. Now, we can only do a roundtable if there's more than one person. Thus far, we have one who is pumped to contribute, if we have any other people. And then he also says, thanks to Jake, your willingness to open up about your mental health journey helped inspire me to seek help for my own mental health struggles.

From Al in Houston. Tell that to Charles Haley. See how that goes. Then I mocked Al. Yeah. The more I thought about it after yesterday, again, it does seem like a really cool job. People come outside and they wave at you and they give you a thumbs up.

They wave, you know, people in the truck wave back at the kids. They're happy with you because you're taking away what they don't want. So it's a good relationship. Like you're not, they don't want. So it's a good relationship. Like you're not, they don't do that, like tow truck drivers don't get waved at and loved.

Yeah, for sure. No. No. They're hated. Didn't we talk about before, like the last couple years, I've tipped the trash guy at Christmas

or trash truck people. That's not uncommon. Is it not uncommon? Yeah, we'll do that. I can't remember if I learned it from you or something, but I went out there and they seemed pretty surprised by it. It wasn't much. It was like, here's, you know, 40 bucks each or something.

But it was also like, it was during a time where- 40 each? That seems a little high. Yeah. I think I was still employed. What I did was just said There's still some pizza in that box In the middle of the trash can

Alright Go trash The president has tested The real one has tested positive for COVID And cancelled an appearance In Las Vegas. Really? Yeah. What's the latest?

The latest is you have COVID, sir. Got it yesterday while traveling. Never heard so much malarkey in my whole life. Flew home to his home in Delaware. And the reason I wanted to do this story was because I thought it was

so funny the way that it's written. I think this is like an AP Wire story. It's the doctor's physician, Kevin O'Connor, not from The Ringer, said in a note that Biden, 81, quote, presented this afternoon with upper respiratory syndoms

and general malaise. And I'm like, so before that, you thought he was just like a Mensa? Like he was on top of everything? How bad does it have to be for them to be like, boy, Biden seems fucked up? Is he in a funk here? Yeah. And even like the cough and the runny nose, which he had during the debate. They're like, yeah, he seems a little off.

So COVID's still out there, huh? Dude, not only is it still out there, kids are getting it in droves right now. Really? Yeah. That just means you're going to get it and you're going to give it to me. Third time's a charm. We've been through this so many times. Yeah. That just means you're going to get it and you're going to give it to me. Third time's a charm. We've been through this so many times. Yeah.

I don't even know. Your last Vax. You'll get another Vax. I definitely do. I've had three, but I'm way past due. At least by three or four months. I always don't want to because you know like there could be a day where you feel bad the first two times I

definitely had a day where I felt bad the third time it was like nothing same here but I remember getting COVID was really really bad so it sucked what you looking at numbers no I'm just saying damn

I thought we were kind of done with it there's also a note of this story where it You're looking at numbers? No, I'm just saying damn. Oh, I thought that was good. I thought we were kind of done with it. There's also a note in the story where it says Biden, quote, gingerly boarded Air Force One and told reporters traveling with him, I feel good, which again presents the question, do they think that previously he was like charging up like he was running stairs at a stadium? Two at a time. He's doing the Rocky run up.

Yeah, exactly. You're a sucker. I'm fairly certain he was gingerly boarding Air Force One because he's 100 and he's dying. Yes, so now he has malaise, or general malaise, and he's walking a little slow. As he had COVID the whole time. See, that would have been a good explanation the day after.

They should have just come up with that. The day after the debate, like, oh, we didn't know he had COVID. Like, he felt a little down, but now this morning it's tested positive, and then that would be a good cover for, oh, that's why. Because now it was just like, well, he was tired. He had a cold. Yeah, like a cold shouldn oh, that's why. Because now it was just like, well, he was tired. He had a cold. Yeah, like a cold shouldn't do that. No.

We just need to have this debate at 1.30 in the afternoon. That's all. Before the Luann Platter special hits. Well, that's when he started changing his schedule. Yeah. Gum downing. All of these things are too late at night. So we have a bank robbery situation here in DFWw and this is the image that i was going to

put up on the screen video man um this is back out of four dash so this is a man who uh the first robbery occurred on july 3rd in garland uh there have been a couple since then. One on July 12th. That was at Forest Lane in Dallas. And he wears a really dapper outfit. Now, I think, unlike Biden, he's probably not going to get COVID because he has an N95 on.

But he's also dressed like a... Or like the guy from Roger Rabbit. Yeah, Dick Tracy type look. Smart guy, though. Look at that. So he's got the mask for sure.

Gloves, rubber gloves. And what a great bit the COVID has brought to normalize that mask a little bit. Because if you see someone wearing a mask, you're not that alarmed anymore. Right. You might just punch them and call them a dirty lib. Get that face diaper off. Yeah, but it isn't like, if they were, if this was ten years ago, you'd be like, there's clearly something up with this guy. And yeah, he's got the surgical gloves on. Yeah. Very smart, right? So you're not leaving fingerprints? Yeah, and he's got like a

fedora-style hat on. It's a little more wide brim than a fedora, but... And that's probably... That'll block the cameras from seeing your eyes. Pretty good. The FBI authorities have termed him... Derby Desperado. Okay.

Which, it's sort of like what we were talking about the other day with Operation Varsity Blues. Why do law enforcement agencies have to come up with something like that? Well, it feels like... Why do they have to sit in a room and workshop an alliteration name for every robber or every criminal and say, I love Derby Desperado. Do you guys love that one?

See, I was thinking that that would be a place for like you or me. I would be able to work on that if I worked for the FBI. What else are they going to have me do? Except for, hey, could you come up with like creative names for our operator? Oh, yeah, I could do that. Yeah, no, I think if we got drafted in this scenario, that would be what we could do. Yeah, otherwise, why am I there?

All right, what are you calling this guy? The Bits Department. I mean, Derby Desperado is a great one. But why does he need a name? Why don't they just try to catch him rather than being like, ah. It doesn't really make any sense. Are you guys aware that Elon Musk is moving SpaceX and the Twitter

headquarters from California to Texas? No. I thought I heard the space thing. Yeah, and Twitter. I didn't know that. X. X. Formerly known as Twitter. Is it because of libs?

He did actually cite a Gavin Newsom law. Governor of California. Which is really weird. I think I have this info right. Blake, you can check me in real time if you want. Gavin Newsom, who is a Democratic hot boy, governor of California, used to be either dating or married to Donald Trump Jr.'s girlfriend. Yeah.

Okay. Kimberly Guilfoyle. Yeah. That's a weird one, right? So who was? So the governor of California, who's like this young, hot shot... He was married to... The woman who is now currently

Donald Trump Jr.'s wife or girlfriend or partner or whatever. He probably doesn't say partner. What's Howard Zinn tell us? The people in power. All those elites, they're all together. They don't hate each other. They do publicly.

It is kind of weird, though, in the last couple of years, how Texas has just become like hot shit for, hey, we're going to move all of the tech companies here. Because, you know, something that you and I learned about whenever we were going through our situation was initially the reason that Silicon Valley was able to take business and companies away from MIT was because they didn't have non-competes.

And Massachusetts did. So there was like a brain drain to the West Coast because innovation was able to flourish, I suppose, without non-competes. And now people are like, well, Texas seems pretty pro-business. And we're getting spaceship companies now. Anyways, you apparently don't have just a ton on that. I just thought I would present it to you.

Of course, a can of woman. Well, I'm going sombrero swindler. Okay. Okay. That makes me really happy. The fact that you were in the lab during that time makes me really... Bowler bandit. Bowler, they'll call one of those.

I'm not upset with you at all. Okay. That's very good. Thanks, man. Very good. A woman in Corsicana was killed trying to walk between train cars. The lid larceny? I'm sorry.

No, no, no. I want you to keep going. So while the train is moving? Yes. Well, so the train cars are stationary at first, and as soon as she walks behind one, one of them starts backing up. And apparently they get going pretty quickly. Do you get nervous

every single time? Like a loading truck? Do you get nervous still every single time you run across a train track? No. Man, I do. In your car? I can't say when was the last time you ran across a train track.

Like jogging? Yeah. Because I can move. Like it's last time you ran across a train track. Like jogging? Yeah. Oh, because I can move. Like it's going at the speed of light? But I just feel like there's a... Like you might trip and I can't get up. And I just always feel like there's a chance I didn't really see what was there. There's one right near downtown Grapevine, the area that I sometimes run. And that thing shows up quick

because it's a super small train. And sometimes I'm just, well, every time I'm worried, unlike him, that I can't move. Take your AirPods out. I mean, you can hear it. We have other senses. We do have other senses.

Smell, taste. That's a good point. Yeah, lick the ground and be like, no, okay, no train. You ever put your hand on a train track just to see if you could feel the vibrations that the train is coming? No, I've never been that bored.

Oh. The Panama Pirate. The Cashmere Klepto. Ooh. You guys would be good at this. Yeah. I'm using thesaurus.com.

He's going off the top of his head. Oh, that's cheating. Of course. Why did you say that like it's a dinosaur? What did I say? Thesaurus. That's not how you say it? Thesaurus Rex. There's your news. That's not how you say it? Thesaurus Rex.

There's your news. Biden's got COVID. Who would have thought? You did really well there, though. I appreciate you. Thanks, bro. This has been a great Friday show on Thursday. Kind of.

Let's see. It is Thursday, July 18th. But if you're listening on Friday, yeah, let me read all the info for all the days you might be listening to this. All the birthdays in the next three months. Anyway, today is the 200th day of the year. Wow. How about that, guys?

All right. We made it. He said we'd never make it to 200. On this day in 1925, Adolf Hitler published the first volume of his autobiography, Mein Kampf, which apparently means my struggle. And how much of it

do you have memorized, Dan? Well, you got one fan over there. Let's see. On this day in 1969, Senator Edward Kennedy left a party on Chappaquiddick Island with someone named Mary Jo Kopechny. She was 28. I don't know how old he was in 1969, but probably much older.

Not 28, yeah. His car goes off a bridge into the water. He escapes. Kopechny drowned. And this apparently was such a big scandal that... He was never in the government again. He, well, he was never elected president. Okay, yeah.

But yes, he was... What you're saying is true. What I'm saying is a bit... Elected to... Still elected to Congress, Senator, whatever. Oh yeah, for the rest of his life. Basically until his death. And when I was

like a lame centrist lib like in my late teens or early 20s, it was like, you know, salt of the earth, Ted Kennedy, he'll go have a drink with someone across the aisle at night. He's just that stand-up of a guy. Then later you learn,

he left a woman to die in a car. That's basically what that succession scene is based on. I was going to say, is the Kendall Roy thing based on that? 100%. That's great. Art imitates life. On this day in 1991, Mike Tyson meets Desiree Washington,

a Miss Black America contestant at a pageant rehearsal. Then they go to the Boxers hotel room. The gallery is telling us that that photo was Robin Givens. Yeah, that's Robin Givens' video, man. There's a 0% chance that without them here today we would have corrected that error um i didn't see him put up the picture but i would have said there's absolutely no way there's a picture of tyson and desiree washington together that was really good saw the good faith we got from playing the austin video where we confused a white woman That was really good.

Saw the good faith we got from playing the Austin video where we confused a white woman. All that's gone now. It's pretty much erased. Had a good 30 minutes. Yep. On this day in 1994, a 62-year-old woman from Italy gave birth. Whoa. 1994. Her egg was artificially inseminated by sperm from her 63-year-old husband.

What a weirdo. Who would do that? I wonder if we can take a look at this. The baby. What was the name? Her name was Rosanna Della Corte. Let's see. Her husband was Mauro.

And on this day in 2008, Billy Joel played the last concert to be hosted at Shea Stadium. And who pops up on stage with him? Paul McCartney, who perhaps played the first concert ever at Shea Stadium. I doubt they had a concert there before the Beatles. I can't find a current picture. Sorry. That's too bad. Never really got Billy Joel.

My daughter loves Billy Joel. I only like 80s Billy Joel. That's a good point. Today's birthday is Miro Hyskin and is 25. Good dude. He was born just after the Stars Parade in 1999. That's a great note. Thanks.

Jamie Benn is 35. He recently had a benessence remember that bit i do um and he needed it after like one of the most embarrassing local sports moments of all time what was that shoving mark stone's head into the ice. Yeah. I apologize. In a playoff game. Ending their season effectively. See, he doesn't even remember it. That's how much people forgot about it. People don't forget. His name was Mark Stone.

Here's something weird, BaseballBlake. Torrey Hunter is 49. Joe Torrey is 84. Wow. Here's the other note. Okay. Wow, it gets better. Yeah.

They are both one and two in today's edition of War Games, where I look at everybody, the birthdays on a certain day and then i always will look for well who's got the most war on this day and it will always this is my fun game that i play with myself every morning where i can determine oh look so and so his war is only 22 well that's a pretty low day for today's birthdays. However, my question to you is, who is the leader? Torrey Hunter with his 19-year career or Joe Torrey with his 18-year career? What say you? Light the phone with me. Yeah, lifeline. Did you know that Joe Torrey was a player? 18-year career. What say you?

Yeah, Lifeline. Did you know that Joe Torre was a player? I don't think so. Yeah. I have a Lifeline. Go ahead. Let me just go with Torre Hunter. You didn't even use your Lifeline.

You used your Lifeline. Why did you ask? I looked at my help, and they kind of gave me shrugs. They gave you the Tori Hunter? Not a seam head. Well, the answer is not Tori Hunter. Oh no, man. Darn.

He has 50.7 war. Joe Tori 57.6. Both still pretty impressive. I would think Blake would know that. Thanasis 57.6. That's both still pretty impressive. I would think Blake would know that. No. The Nasus Atentacumnampo is 32. So close. He's the chappy of his office.

Kind of trachs, yeah. Paul Verhoeven is 86. Bitches leave. Starship Troopers. Total Recall. RoboCop. RoboCop. Richard Branson is 74. He is a, says here, business mogul, and he invented Branson, Missouri.

That would be such a departure for him. John Herman is 62. From widespread panic. Can't help you there. Wendy Williams is 60. How you doing? The question today is, is Wendy Williams hot? I'm going yes.

Did someone just say she's shaped like the letter P? Well, she's built like a linebacker. I say yes. The hottest linebacker out there. Like, minus the globes up front. No. I think he's probably right. Globes go a long way, bruv.

But she does have, like, an oddly flat ass. No. I think he's probably right. Globes go a long way, bruv. But she does have like an oddly flat ass. Yes. It's like a double back. Again, she's the letter P. Also, remember, take all that makeup, all the eyelashes and all that hair and stuff, because you got to realize she's Hollywood. That's hours upon makeup. Yeah.

She don't look like that every day. Such a harsh critic of Wendy Williams we have here. Kristen Bell is 44. Married to Dax Shepard from The Good Place. I think she's Elsa, Rachel?

She's Anna. That's what I was trying to remember is if she was Elsa or Anna so big player in my home Dan movie director Jared Hess is 45 what movie did he direct Napoleon Dynamite

okay I should have known Elsa Pataki is 48. Says here, Fast and Furious films. And Vin Diesel is 57. It also says here, Fast and Furious films. Born of the Stay Now Dead, John Glenn. Which one is this?

Who's John Glenn, Blake? He circumnavigated the earth. That's okay. Not even close. Who was that? Well, this is another oddity on this day because it's the birthday of John Glenn and Glenn Hughes. Okay. Glenn Hughes is the biker mustache guy for the Village People.

Okay. Right, Jake's leather jacket. Yeah. That's right. You know what? We have a picture of Jake in Village People outfit. Is this still on our Facebook page? Yeah.

Pull up our Facebook page, Rob. And dead on this day, still we have john paul jones apparently it says here revolutionary war commander what'd he ever do i thought he was in the monkeys or something or okay so i just want to point something really funny that that just happened here uh and i experienced this whenever I did a bit at camp one time, but he was in Led Zeppelin, but the two of them who are not white were like Beatles or something. Because if you talk to enough guys who are black of a certain generation, you realize that they have like three, they know like Sweet Home Alabama,

not exactly sure they could give you the artist. ZZ Top. ZZ Top and like The Beatles or something. Yeah. There's a picture of Jake up on our screen in the biker outfit. I kind of killed that. Yeah. Yeah.

Pretty hot. Beatles or something? That's my default. That was awesome. All right, so it is time for closing remarks. So who's who? Of course. Who do we got?

Of course. So, we got? Of course. So, Silky. Silky? Yes. Government name is different. Okay. Because I introduced you guys as something different that Blake told me everybody's name. Oh, that's all good.

Silky. Yes. And? Easily the most ripped listener of our show. Easily? I don't know. They're both pretty ripped, but Silky will post a thirst trap on you. Yeah?

Yeah, if need be. Okay, well, we could have that contest sometime. You know, whatever ripped dudes want to send us a picture of themselves with their shirts on. Oh, no. I'm game. I'm game. Yeah. Okay, what's your name jeremy jeremy no no cool nickname or p1 jare okay yeah uh my wife was the one who made those cookies for y'all oh okay yeah those are awesome man she made a another little cookie cake for you

as well that you brought today? Yep. Oh, yeah. We got gifts. Yep. All right. Where do we got it? And you guys? I'm Sam. Sam?

Sam the Austin P1. Sam. Oh, Sam the Austin P1. That's a legendary name online, right? For sure. We're all familiar with him. And? Eric.

And Eric. And then Eric went through all the trouble of booking this, and then he got relegated to the end. Wow, that's tough. That is tough, man. You went to tech, right? Okay, yeah. I knew we didn't interact about tech before.

We have gifts, and we have videos. So this is the cookie cake that your wife made? Is she in the baking industry? Yeah, she is in the baking industry. She runs her own business. Okay, nice. Can she help industry. She runs her own business. Okay, nice. Can she help with business?

Someone please help us. We have a little picture. We probably can't hold this up for the camera, right, because... Here, I'll take a picture. Yeah. There's a picture there. It looks like Jake... Is that Jake puking after the pizza challenge appetizing that's

on the cake fantastic and then a picture of me as andy reed at the super bowl beautiful um where so these are the both of our highlights of our career jake puking as he tries to eat, what, three pizzas? Should have been thin crust. I know. I let everybody down. I know. I let myself down, my family, my friends, you. I don't hold it against you.

You could eat that. The troops. Yes. All right. And we have, geez, he's got a whole stack of boxes. Let's go, man. Let's go, Silky. Okay.

Eleven and a half. We have shoes. Don't open it yet. Don't open it yet. Don't open it yet. Wasn't it Hari Maris the other day? Yeah. I'm Todd.

And now these other? Twelve. Twelve. Twelve. All right. So what do we do? You never know. Do you want to count it down?

Do you want me to do a brrrr? Is it all the same? Yes. It's all the same, but we wanted to hook y'all up with a little bit of swag because I'm really big, a big shoe sneaker head. Okay. And outside of the Jake's Air Force 1s, white, kind of beat up, clean. There's a lack of a shoe swag here.

A fair but unnecessary shot. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. At least they're not the all blacks. But, yeah, true, true. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. At least they're not the all blacks. But yeah, true, true. The criminal shoe. This is something to help y'all swag when y'all go out to Oxnard to where y'all be looking clean, nice, and everything.

And y'all are going to represent. You're saying my swag needs help? Yeah, I mean, black Asics are cool if you're just going out and about, walking around. But if you don't want to get roasted by the twins, you're going to need something. So check them out. If you think I want to get roasted by the twins, you're going to need something. So check them out. If you think I can avoid getting roasted by the twins. Oh, my God. Each one.

I got some Lucas, bro. Some Luca twos. Wow. And I got the colorway that's, you know, it's suburban dad enough to where it's not too flashy, but at the same time, you guys look fashionable. So, hey. Y'all are going to be clean. Thank you enough.

Y'all are going to be clean very well. That's awesome. Should we wear them all on the same day? Every day? Absolutely. If you want to look uniformed and like your serious podcast, I would. Wow.

Those are incredible. I would never have actually bought these for myself. Exactly. That's the point, because none of y'all would have bought them because of the swag. Fantastic. Now y'all got some Riz. Drip.

Whatever else the young folks say today. Aura. Wow. We're dripping with Riz. Yes. What a day. Thank you, Soki. Yes.

Anytime. Thank you guys for having us out. It's been amazing. What was it like to meet Brandon Aubrey? A highlight of your... I mean, yeah, definitely a highlight. Cool guy. Very down-to-earth, chill.

Just regular, you know? Cool. Does anyone else have closing remarks? Yeah, I mean, you guys are all here. One thing. I know we've met a few times, but do you remember the first time we met? Was it off the record?

It was fight night 2018 Okay That was Luca's rookie year We had just drafted him Did you smoke with Jake? Yes I smoked with him and his wife So we were outside smoking a cigarette

And you remember you had your Luca jersey on And some guy thought he was a soccer player and you called him a dumbass that was our first interaction he deserved it she still talks about it to this day

go ahead you want to grab the mic so I emailed Jake this I don't know if you remember or not I want to bring it to the group and like if you get or not. I get a lot of emails. But I want to bring it to the group. And, like, if you get back into flag football, I told Jake, I think the football team needs to find some better competition. I mean, we just lost.

Yeah, but y'all ran through the league so many years. How many consecutive was it? I don't know that he wants a chance. 75. Yeah, you're probably right but i'm not really in charge but we have gone out and played you know you'll do didn't you did you play in college yeah unt right yeah so we have gone out and played in some tournaments where pretty much everybody on the opposing squad played at the at least d1 level or d2 level i suppose and we'll do okay but we lose like in separate tournaments it's you know it pretty much comes to end but the problem is like

those teams practice and like my guys show up super hungover they're 25 we have no plays other than the four concepts that they know how to, like, drill into the ground. And then we'll go play these teams where they actually practice and don't show up hungover. Yeah, we talked about this, and I play flag for – I didn't play at Silky's level, obviously, but I play flag for a lot. But you've got a quarterback that played D1 ball. Yes.

That's key. Oh, nice. Yeah. That could be a difference. He was like a three-year starter at San Diego State. Yeah, that's key. It's the only reason we went. What did you play?

Safety. Okay. Any good? No. No? I mean, I was enough to, you know, be on the team and everything. Made the team, got on the field or no? Yeah, yeah, just special teams, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, you just – it's a different level when you make that jump from the high school level to the college level. I mean, and then the college is a pro is even bigger. There is that big of a jump to where, for example, your idea of being the gunner, I got to do that. So I got to live out your fantasy, and it's not even all that overrated. And look how athletic I am in comparison.

No offense. Yeah, it's – I just, you know, hey, I keep it real. First it's the AF1s. I straight shoot. I'm a straight shooter. It's no offense. So you're saying the dream that Jake had, hey, I can't be real. First, it's the AF1s. I straight shoot. I'm a straight shooter. There's no offense. So you're saying the dream that Jake had, like, was so far from reality?

Like, even that? I mean. Like, he's already said it. He already said it. Maybe a D2. He could be a gunner for, like, D2. Like. Maybe.

Not Texas. Maybe, like, Arkansas Pine Bluff or something. Fuck it. Well, thanks, guys. This has been awesome. You know I love you, Jake. I do, and I appreciate it, and I will put the Air Forces in the washer

as soon as I get home. I think that would ruin them even more. Adios, Lofo. Truly when you walk right on by and I'm just freezing All of the time you try to find someone to hit me like you And I'm not the type who likes to rush in but I want to I don't know, but it feels like I do And I was frozen when you walked in the room Cause every single word, it just makes my stomach turn cold I don't know you, but it feels like I do

ប្រូវាប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ប់ Closing time and we spent all night talking You and I just, one more thing I want to be that guy Tell you how I feel that every single time I just freeze All of the times I try to find someone who'll hit me like you And I'm not the type who likes to rush in but I want to I don't know, but it feels like I do And I was forced and we walked in the room Cause every single word that just makes my stomach turn Cause I don't know if it feels like to lose

I was frozen when you walked in the room Cause every single word just makes my stomach hurt I don't know what it feels like to do But I want to hear that guy