The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 7-20-24 Weekly Wrap

Episode Date: July 20, 2024

Subscribe to our Patreon! - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneThe best segments from this week in The Dumb Zone! Special guests, Charles Haley and Brandon Aubrey, the introduction to Thrash N Trash, Trump assassination attempt, and She'll Be C***ng Around The Mountain Clean Version! (00:00) - Intro (01:10) - 7/15 Open + Weekend check (27:22) - 7/17 Trash (42:53) - 7/17 Sports: NCAA travesty, Mark Cuban (58:51) - 7/16 Charles Haley + postgame (01:33:20) - 7/18 Viewer Mail (01:42:29) - 7/15 Today in Trump (02:03:25) - 7/18 Brandon Aubrey (02:21:06) - 7/17 News + Today in History (02:57:56) - Outro ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

episode four of this unnamed project we're calling the weekly wrap-up the best segments and moments from this week in the dumb zone welcome i'm blake jones and i host the mbr once a month and handle some of the production behind the scenes for dan and jake if you're new to this this will feel like a normal episode with our normal staples the open sports viewer mail news and today in history. But I got a few one-off things in between to catch you up on some of the top moments from the week. I'll sprinkle in a few show announcements here and there to keep you informed. Like next week, if you're a Danny fan, he'll be with us on Tuesday filling in for Jake. Thursday is our celebration of the one-year anniversary of starting the Dumb Zone, so stay tuned for that. And for those that hate

690s, you'll enjoy our Monday episode because for right now, it'll just be the three of us unless we can hook a certain cow of the sea. Okay, let's get to it. Let's go back to our Monday episode at Mortgage Marks, where we check in on our weekends with Danny Bayless and hear about Dan's latest fight with his wife. Moment of silence for Richard Simmons. Whoa. Did we kill him? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know that we killed him, but it was his birthday Friday, right? It was. Yeah. He made it to his birthday and then he said, I'm out. Yeah. Like I said on Friday, I didn't know he was still alive. I thought probably dead.

You thought it was AIDS, right? I think you said that. Okay. I don't know that I thought it was probably AIDS. Well, I certainly don't want to throw anything bad on your left I thought that it was Let's get all mad about it I'm not mad about it

I thought that it was Like that he had had You know that weird like conservative situation And then over the weekend he just dies Yeah He'll be missed He'll be greatly missed weekend he just dies. Yeah. He'll be missed. He'll be greatly missed.

I don't know that anybody's been checking for Richard Simmons for 30 or 40 years. I don't really know what he did. I guess he was just like fitness guy before fitness guys were like famous. No. So back in the day, there was fitness people. Like Jack LaLanne and stuff like that? Yeah. And Jack LaLanne is like all tough.

Right. And badass looking. You're like, clearly, that's a fitness guy. But so like Richard Simmons being who he was, so like richard simmons being who he was was like appealing to women yes so he was more of a effeminate it was just get moving yeah so yes he was more mean like lift weights more my body type maybe doughy probably a little better shape than me but his was just like come on on, people, let's go. And then it would be a bunch of fat ladies in the exercise class

or, you know, 40-some-year-old ladies or the occasional dude, but, you know, it was mostly just for, it was exercise for the normies. It wasn't like... You didn't have to be intimidated.

Intimidated, exactly. Yeah, by looking at Richard Simmons up there. Yeah. Yeah, so anyway, again, he will be greatly missed. Our country lost a great man and a great leader. How old? It is.

How old? 76? No one knows. Is that right? That's the thing. No one knows. No, no one could know. I think it was mid-70s.

Yeah. I mean, a guy that works out that much, a little young, right? You would expect to keep going a little bit longer. Yeah, but he wasn't really working out. He wasn't going to max or whatever, right? Maximum. Not max. My trainer.

Wasn't doing sprints. Maximum? Yeah. Like, don't you want to push it? I don't think he was pushing it. Let's do a weekend check. Who wants to start on a weekend check? I got a little something.

Go for it. Okay, then I guess I'm starting. You offered. This weekend, Danny Bayless. I'm talking to Danny Bayless. Okay. And doing a little walk, trying to get my steps in. So I'm outside.

Like Richard Simmons would want you to do. It's 8 million degrees out, and I'm walking around talking to Danny. Yeah. And I don't know. We were talking about hooking up or when we're going to discuss this or that. And I said, you know what? Maybe don't call me tonight after 7. I said, I'm probably going to be sundowning.

So that's become a new term that I've worked into my game because of the Biden-Trump debate where Biden was just all over the place. And then some people are alleging, you know what? He could be sundowning. and then some people are alleging, you know what? He could be sundowning. That's what happens to people getting early Alzheimer's or just to olds. They're sharper in the morning, but as the day goes on, they kind of lose it. And then as the sun goes down, they are fading.

So I said to Danny, I might be sundowning because I kind of had the plans of, how about a nice gummy? You know, sometimes... That's not typically what people mean when they say sundowning. I understand what you're saying. So I just, in my head, I'm thinking, you know, what am I going to do tonight? Where are we going to eat? What am I going to do afterwards? Maybe I'll pop in a gummy.

And I told Danny this. I said, that's why I'm saying sundowning. That's just my funny thing. And he said, you're gum downing. And I am now going to work that into my game. I wanted to credit Danny the first time because eventually, I'm going to say this so often that people are going to think I came up with it. It's yours. I think it's the first time that I've ever, in 25 years of knowing Dan, heard him actually laugh at something I say. I want to refute that and say that I'm in love with Dan McDowell. That made him laugh? I don't know.

I feel like I've seen him laugh at that. The more made me cry, yeah. Tears of joy. A scoop of... Let's see here. A teaspoon at night. A teaspoon at night. Okay, so then I had some issues going on with the wife this weekend.

Oh, no. So, number one. I love this. Number one. He has a list. I keep a list of every fight he has with his wife. Well, number one. We keep a list of every fight he has with his wife. Well, number one. We have a lot of lists.

This wasn't a real issue, but we were going to do some work on the pool, just do some yard work, some stuff. And it was middle of the day, Saturday. And then I said, hey, you know what? I'm going to go put on my long-sleeved shirt. Yeah. Because of another recent conversation we've had about, I guess it was Jake's landscaper that goes out there, long-sleeved shirt, long pants, giant hat. He's really. Right. There you go. Yeah. Yeah.

And you would think, oh, my gosh, darker skin. Isn't that better for you against the, aren't you? No, apparently not. And this guy who's a landscaper, he's a professional. So I'm a weekend warrior landscaper. This guy's out there each and every day thinking the best thing to do the safest thing is to go long sleeves and then we got a lot of email response on that a lot of feedback that yes indeed in in fact you know like just wearing short sleeves

in the sun it's you're going to be cooler wearing a long-sleeve shirt. So anyway, that's why I did that. She told me. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. And I said, you know, the Latino guy's doing it. She says. Here comes the Today Show. Can I bang a quick 20?

I don't feel like you said Latino. Okay. I might have said it could be Mexican guy. Anyway. You don't say. Both are right. You know, I might need a tiny modicum of support from you today. I will provide you with all the support you want.

I'm just trying to keep you honest. I need some yes ands. Yes. Got it. Got it. My wife said, well, maybe that's because they're illegal and they need to keep covered up. That is patently the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Do you think somebody's driving by with facial recognition cameras?

First of all, I don't believe she said that. I think you made that up. Someone's driving by with an iPhone. They're covering up their gang tattoos. Yeah, I think that's foolish. by with an iPhone. They're covering up their gang tattoos. Yeah. I think that's foolish. And then the actual argument that we got in.

So now we're cleaning out the shed, doing the yard work like I said. The worst. The worst. Those mud dauber wasps have their little huts all over there. You said we? Yeah.

Oh, you get some help doing that? Yeah, she was actually out there. Uh-oh. That sounds good. Can't wait for your weekend check. But you won't kill them though, right? I don't kill the mud daubers, no. Yeah.

In fact, I escorted one out of the house this morning. Put it on a little piece of paper and walked him out. Said, hey, we're going out there. What a waste of your time. The shed clean is just... Why? I need... The ecosystem needs to stay intact. He's about to die.

If I killed one of them, that could throw everything off and then all of a sudden we've got famine. Yep. And I don't want that in my... Famine. In my conscious... The shed clean is just...

You can't beat that as far as like, it's the hottest you'll ever be in your life. It's so hot in there, man. Yeah. And then you're using the blower to,

once you, and then it's all the stuff's in your face. That's, man, I should have gone. Yeah, dust. So I should have gone

and found one of those nice masks that I didn't really need for COVID. Face diaper? Yeah. I should have put a found one of those nice masks that I didn't really need for COVID. Face diaper? Yeah. Face diaper? I have a bunch of those still.

I didn't even think about that, and I'm coughing up a storm. Anyway, so she had in the shed. I don't know. You're more of a Marie Kondo guy. We store a lot of things. So if we have an old coffee pot that kind of doesn't work anymore and we get a new one, she'll save that old coffee pot. Like, I could donate this.

And then it'll sit in the garage for two years, and then we throw it away. But I need that buffer period with her. Well, we had this argument a couple years ago about the old vacuum cleaner. So she's like, don't throw it away. I want the old vacuum cleaner. Why? And I go, why? It's still workable. It's salvageable, blah, blah, blah, blah. So it away. I want the old vacuum cleaner. Why? And I go, why? It's still workable.

It's salvageable, blah, blah, blah, blah. So now it's been in the shed. And so now it has a couple of mud dauber things on it, and it's real dusty and everything, and we're cleaning out the shed. And she says, well, let's throw this away. Like it's her idea now. It was my idea two years ago when we got a new vacuum cleaner.

Yeah, you can't let that slide. But she goes, here, throw this in the recycle bin. And I go, now this is where the argument started. I go, you can't just throw a vacuum cleaner in a recycle bin. She's like, it's made of plastic. I go, yeah, but it doesn't work like that. It's got metal things inside it. And like, they just won't, they won't just take that. They're going to end up throwing it away. You're just going to cause more work for them and we were in this big argument and i felt i was right but then as i walked away i realized that i just argued really hardcore and i really didn't know i had no idea and that she might in fact be right but i kind of got up

swept up in the moment of arguing and then it it turned into a thing. It was more about the engagement than the actual product. Like, she just doubted the wise old me when I first brought it up, and then I had to stand my ground. No, you were right. Like a Major League umpire. You can't recycle a vacuum cleaner. Okay.

Oh, man. There are things that on the actual damn dumpster or trash can that tells you what the little symbols of what they all are. And vacuum cleaner is not one of them. She throws everything in that can. Many recycling centers take vacuums. Recycling centers, but not for your takeaway dumpster. Okay.

Maybe you're right. That's like glass, models, cardboard. I mean, it's really limited on what you're supposed to put in those things. Okay. Yeah. Maybe you're right. That's like glass, models, cardboard. I mean, it's really limited on what you're supposed to put in those things. Okay. Yeah, and I mean, you know what I've been saying for probably a year now. I think recycling is a fraud. Yeah, but I feel really good when I do it. I feel good when I do it too.

So I kind of ignore when you tell me that. And I still do it. Yeah. So even though I believe it, I still do it. And I rinse out everything. I know. You go cans. Yeah, you put a lot of effort into it.

Yeah. I mean, they're going to have to rinse them anyway. I'm helping them out. So how did this end up? It ends up, it's just still sitting outside. We haven't done anything with it yet. That's a bulky trash thing. Do you guys have that once a month where they come out with the crane and

pick up all your crap? Dude, branches. I would just set it out there. Yeah, just set it out there. Somebody will take it. I gotta say, maybe the guy that wears the long-sleeved shirts, he'll show up and figure it out. He can do something with that thing. The Southlake scene is quite different

because it's all automated. Like in Grapevine, they still come pick it up, put it in the back, dump it out. Okay, yeah. We have an automated recycle bin thing. Yeah. The big arm comes down, picks it up, and throws it in the back. Yeah. Whereas we have actual trash guys who will actually.

So if I put it out on trash day, that'll be fine. Because dudes, they haven't taken our jobs with AI trash yet. But you're saying the garbage trucks in Southlake, they all have grabber arms and they dump it into the hopper. The recycle truck. The recycle trucks definitely do. That's the same in Dallas too. The garbage truck doesn't. It's not the same in Grapevine though.

Yeah. Yeah. Like where I actually live, I take my son out there twice a week so that he can watch the Trashman. That's probably because William D. Tate. Well, do you put your trash out in front or in the alley? Because the alley, they're going to use guys that are on the back of the truck. But what I'm saying is they don't have like an arm. They don't have like the thing that Southlake has.

Like the truck is equipped with a different thing. Yeah. And they pick that thing up and... Now, I see what you're saying. There's like a one-person job there. Well, they have the ones that are on the rear, Jake, where you put the bin up on the rear and it lifts it over like that right into the back of it.

And then you have the ones that have the side, those grabber arms that go up the side. That's for like front of house pickup. What I'm telling you is that in Grapevine, a guy picks the trash can up and throws it into the back of the trash truck. I'm also saying that not every single truck situation may be like that. It may be specific to the type of neighborhood because you need flexibility. Maybe some of their stuff is alleys. Some of it is where you actually need a person to get out and do some of those.

So I bet they're not exclusively, you know, because that's a lot of manpower to pay. Hey, hey, guys, back to your respective corners. Will Dion lead Colorado to the CFP? Jesus Christ. Look at their title. Anyone else? Bold and Boulder. Want to chime in. Anyone else? Bold and Boulder. Want to chime in on their weekend?

I love it. I still love how Dan thinks that the murder of one mud dauber could create famine. You just really jumped about eight million steps in the butterfly effect to get to there. Yeah. I'm not going to doubt him, though. I like to think ahead. God forbid you kill two. We might end up in pestilence. Our actions have Yeah. I'm not going to doubt him, though. I like to think ahead. God forbid you kill two, we might end up in pestilence.

Our actions have consequences. I just knew that Blake had killed one last week. I haven't heard pestilence since Bible school. Blake killed one last week, so I had to save one this week to balance it out. It has wings and a stinger. If I see it, I'm going to kill it. Am I wrong? I'm'm going to kill it. Am I wrong?

I'm not going to stop you. So, took Brooks to the Rough Riders game yesterday. Nice. And thought about those minor league things that you'll take your kid to because they don't know the difference. Of course. Like we talked about with the Dallas Freeze and the Fort Worth Fire. Yeah.

So, third or fourth Rough Rider game this season. Yesterday was Bluey Night. Oh my gosh. At the Rough Riders game. How much are tickets? They can't be more than like 20 bucks. I bought four and I think it was 60 bucks. Yeah.

So it's a great deal. Hold on. Four? My parents. Okay. Who else would it be? I don't know. So you didn't go with your wife no she works weekends now okay so i'm on weekend kid duty are you guys getting along good me and my wife yeah um yeah yeah okay you want to talk later yeah i do actually. You don't have any pre-empty nest activities going on in your home like Dan does?

Things to keep you distracted from the fact that you can't stand each other? Like cleaning out the garage and the shed and arguing over vacuum cleaner recycling? No, I've resorted to more gum downing. Okay, fantastic. That way you don't go to bed mad, you know? Yeah. No, but she started a new job where she works every Saturday, Sunday.

So now the kid is my duty every Saturday, Sunday. And so now I'm trying to think of things to do outside of the house so he's not just parked in front of the television. And it's too damn hot to do anything. And can't go to the park, can't go to the splash pad, can't play outside.

The mall isn't what it used to be. No. I used to be a big mall guy with the kid. Are you sure about that? Dude, I take Malcolm to Town East Mall at least once or twice a month. Yeah. I guess it depends which mall. I'm thinking of the Louisville one.

That's the Ridge? It's now called like the Music City something and it's it's a ghost town. Or at least it was a few years ago last time I was there.

It's a lot of acreage that's air conditioned to let your kid run wild ass. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I still use it. See, that's my thing about Grapevine Mills.

You know, they have they have an aquarium. They have Legoland. They have a bunch of other BS that you can walk around through. You can kill two hours there, no problem, for very little money. Get your steps in, too. You can also get your steps in.

Get my 10K in. I bring that up because we've talked about this before. But when I'm all old and stuff and Brooks is growing up and he hates my guts I'm going to think back to the time when he was two and a half and we were best buds and how I should have

cherished that time and now I'm like god damn how slow is this weekend going how can I just get forward to Monday an hour feels like

it takes 12 hours every single week can you take another nap yeah can you no can you go play with your friends somewhere but I'm supposed to 12 hours every single week. Can you take another nap? Yeah. Can you? No. Can you go play with your friends somewhere? But I'm supposed to enjoy these times and I don't know how.

Yeah. The whole goal is now just to make him tired enough to go to sleep. Oh my God. Yes. As they say, Blake, the days are long, but the years are short. I know it. I know it. It is.

It's so true just how much everyone tells you, like, it's going to go by so fast. Cherish it. I know it. It's so true just how much everyone tells you, like, it's going to go by so fast. Cherish it. But when it's happening, you just want it to go by. Yes, I just need this to be done. I need you to go to bed. NCAA comes out in two days. We need to prep.

By the way. Today at 3 o'clock. I was going to say. So if we could wrap this up. I was going to say, Dan. We're losing him today. You're jumping right on? No, I was going to say. So if we could wrap this up. I was going to say, Dan. We're losing him today. You're jumping right on. No, I have stuff to do.

But tonight, I'm thinking I'm going to take on the Texas Tech Red Raiders. We're going to play it to Amon G. Carter. I think that's the game I'm going to go with first. Anyway. You pre-bought. Yeah, I got the deluxe edition. Yeah. I got early access.

Yeah. So we show up to Bluey night. And, you know and they have like Bluey stuff to do between innings, but the main attraction was you can get your picture with Bluey. Yeah. Which is a guy in a suit from 6 to 8.30. Like the one that I talked about, or like an actual Bluey? No, it's just a guy in a suit. Okay, but we talked about this news story

where people freaked out about it, right? That was a month ago. It was just a black guy in a bluey coat. I don't know if that was necessary. How did you know? Did you open up his food hole to see who was inside? It was just a very poorly constructed costume. Yeah.

I mean, it was so obvious that it was just... They had promoted it at a restaurant and everybody thought it's going to be like... I just imagine him like... Sponsored by Bluey Incorporated itself and have a real... Oh, okay. I just imagine his costume... But it was like a guy who had put together some stuff. His costume looked like Eddie Murphy as Gumby.

It was exactly. It was super, super shitty. Yeah. And like the one that I went to, it's called Camp Store in Dallas. Like that was bluey. So is that what you got or? It looked like a legit bluey. And so we walk into the restaurant. It's got a bluey backdrop. And see, now you got or it looked like a legit bluey and so we walk into the restaurant

it's got a bluey black backdrop and see now you got my head a bluey backdrop and it's a big bluey and all the kids are standing next to him you take pictures you know look at the line it's not that bad it's like okay let's go the line extended outside and around the park. With the heat. In the heat. And from what people were saying, hour and a half long wait. Oh my gosh. So we watched some baseball.

Because I was not going to wait in that. That's tough. People love Bluey, man. Jesus. So my one event from the night. Malke's into it, right? Yeah. Yeah. We watch probably two to four episodes a day yeah awesome so sat behind guy that wanted to uh score the game oh no he wanted everyone to know about it because he brought his little notepad and did you tell him

uh you're really sad that you didn't become the producer of his show? Like the electronic notepad thingy? Like you got? Thank you, Danny. The Remarkable? No, this guy, pen and paper. Well played. Old?

Man, like 40? Okay. Pretty young. Interesting. But really played the part well. Had a Rough Riders Evan Carter jersey. Had Texas flag Crocs.cs played the part perfectly yeah and uh pen and paper and then at the top left you know he writes the naturals versus rough riders uh temperature start of the game 98 degrees time of first pitch 606 i mean he was keeping all

of it but he did not not keep the pitch count, which I thought if you're going to do it, you need to do it. If you're going that far. Because I was watching him. I was like, okay, MF3, you better pay attention to every pitch. And he did, and he was looking around, talking and stuff, and I realized he wasn't keeping balls and strikes. He was just keeping the result of the at-bat,

which I thought, you're not doing it. You're not doing it the right way. This confirms what I believe about people that score games, that go to games and sit there with their score pad. They don't want to do it. It's for show. It's for show. They're just trying to get pussy. That feels like the worst way to try to get pussy of all time.

All right. Danny may be on to something. A lot of parents at this game, it's bluey night. A lot of couples. A guy sits down, he's talking to the couple next to him, and it's just bro to bro, and he's cursing quite a bit.

So scorekeeper man taps him on the shoulder, hey, we got kids around. And I thought, like, I was waiting. Are we gonna throw down i was waiting how great would that be and the second it took him to respond felt like you know a minute and a half because i'm just like okay what are we gonna do here yeah yeah yeah he's like okay yeah sorry okay and he stopped but man scorebook man i i would never do that he's also local police sure citizens arrest sure he's there for the people. Yeah. But I don't know if I would ever stop somebody

from cursing in front of my kid. I'm not about that at all. No, I would think you'd have to, if you then want to talk about it later or something, right? You don't. I don't move. I don't know. I'm not going to stand up for the betterment of the crowd, I think.

Yeah. I'm more concerned about my kid cursing in front of other people. Not in front of other adults. Have you dealt with that at all? Oh, yes. Yes. Do you curse in front of your child? No, but he picks things up because his mom really loves hip hop.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So right now his current favorites. Cursing is the least of your worries. Yeah. So right now his current favorites, and it's only, the first thing is the least of your worries. The N word. Exactly. Yeah. You know, right now his current favorites,

and he only will do it when he's number one, really angry and trying to get a reaction, or if he's trying to get some type of attention. But his top two right now are, fuck it and come on, bitch. I've told these guys about this. At least they're funny. I have cursed in front of Nora probably less than 10 times in my life.

My wife has done it quite a bit. It's always the wife. It's always the woman. Always. But there was a time pretty early on. It might have been two years ago. I think she was three where I started saying, fuck it in front of her. And there's something about like the consternation of it that she just loved.

And she would just, and like use it properly. She would just go, fuck it. Fuck it. There's nothing just go, fuck it. Fuck it. There's nothing cuter, by the way. And the only way – You got to be proud of her for using it properly. I know, but the only way – like Blake talked about this a little bit ago with Brooks. The only way that you can eliminate it is to not react.

Yeah, ignore it. Impossible. But the first few times, I was like, God, that rules. Yeah. Fuck it. I still can't stop laughing at it. No, no. Every time it's funny.

Brooks has picked up, damn it, dude. He'll say that all the time. Well, I have a feeling with NCAA 25 coming back. He's going to learn some new words. Yeah. Curses haven't emanated yet from the Blake cave, but give me more time with NCAA. And I'm sure that time will come. Let's keep with the theme of family stuff and skip ahead to our business

Wednesday show with Danny again, where Dan basically says your family will never learn to pick up after themselves. And Dean goo introduces us to thrash and trash. I did want to tell you guys that yesterday, remember I told you I did a little TV before the show? Of course.

And I was able to get there real early and pitch my really funny hat idea to Steve Noviello. Which he loved. Because I was on the road early because I had to drop off my wife and kid at the airport.

Oh, yes. And they are in Ohio right now. They're at Grandma's house. Wow. For how long? And I couldn't do Grandma's house because I got a small business to run and shows to do and who's going to play the sound and all that kind of stuff. You're welcome. So, yeah. So I just said, can't do it. We're not pulling in the dough just yet.

Let's get it rolling. I'll go next time. I said, I'll be in Cleveland in September. Yeah. Which I will. I'll go next time. I said I'll be in Cleveland in September. Yeah. Which I will. What's interesting about that is that you've told me that in September you're going to spend most of the time not doing the show but hanging out with your family and her family.

That's what they all believe right now. And then once I get there, it's like, man, I'm really busy. Anyway, yeah, daughter's gone for three days and then uh wife is like feels obligated to stay longer because she hasn't seen her mom since last summer i don't feel that that same thing towards her mom or my mom um can i meet rose because we'll talk you can meet rose for sure that'd be great we. We have, we're going to have Rose on. We're going to talk about JFK Jr., bro. I would like that. Or just Sly Stallone.

I would like both. I mean, she loves both of those things. Do you know about Rose, Danny? Is that your mother-in-law? It's my mom's best friend. Okay. She's like 81.

She's real stoked on QAnon stuff. Oh. She's into RF on QAnon stuff. She's into RFK Jr.? JFK Jr., actually. JFK Jr., yeah. She thought he was coming back to Dallas. Oh, I thought you were like, so she's a libertarian and loves Rocky. She loves...

She's trying to put the pieces together. She loves Trump. Okay. She does love Trump, but once a month or so, or whenever there's a huge summer blockbuster, Rose and Dan's mom go see it together.

Oh, they go see anything. No, they go to... It doesn't have to be a huge movie. In fact, I talk to my mom once a week and she will bitch about the movie that Rose chose that week and it's blah, blah, blah. I don't listen.

How many takings can they make? A call with my mom is eating innings. I'm a guy who will just get on there. Get out there. I'll just listen to her. We talk. I check the phone in a while. Like, oh, 45 minutes?

Ah, you know what? Then I come up with something. Yeah. That's fair. So what, you know what? Then I come up with something. Yeah. That's fair. So, what do you have planned? Man, last night was great. So, what I did, Rick Arnett taught

me this many, many years ago. Rick Arnett, the host of the teabag. What, using your left hand? Stranger. He did not teach me that. Sit on it. What I did was sit on it he says sit on your hand yeah it makes it feel dead interesting good god dead you got to use the right hand to click and the left uh there you go you got to have a click hand maybe someday they'll just have that in our brain waves where we can move on.

You need a high-speed scrubbing hand. I can two-hand it. That's what Neuralink's all about. Yeah. Scrubbing. Anyway, Rick Arnett's theory was, and I didn't get this until I had a wife and kids, and they lived with me for a while and I really enjoyed the leaving like now. So he said, what you do is you clean the house right away

and then you live in that clean house and it will just be clean while they're gone. Now, you can see I haven't really done it up here, but I did clean the kitchen last night and now there's just going to be three plates to clean every night instead of me having to just do because i'm kitchen guy and everybody just knows oh i can just cook a five course meal and throw it all here and uh i you know i won't clean it because somehow it's magically cleaned when i get up in the morning and i have um my doubts about

how often your wife is cooking a five course meal. Well, whatever she does. But yes, I understand what you're saying. So the point is that you don't have to rush at the end of it. Like whenever your parents are coming home and you're like, did I leave weed in the... Nah, I mean they don't need it cleaned up but it's not... I want to live in a clean... I never live in a clean

environment. Yeah, that makes sense. Because there's always something there. There's always a kid's thing or the wife's thing or whatever, but now it's like just my little system down there.

But the problem is you clean it. What do you mean? Why don't you just let them live in their own filth? Because then I have to live in it too. But then, okay,

but it's the... Like, I've tried these games. They'll be like a... Games. Like, it'll be like a... It's not as obnoxious. Like a piece of poo will be sitting in the living room on the floor.

And I'll just be like, I don't want to pick that up. It won't be a piece of... It'll be a ripped up paper or something. Or something the dog chewed up. And like, I don't want to pick that up.

I'm just going to protest. I'm not going to be the one to pick that up. And I'll just keep watching it for three or four days and I'm like, God damn it, and then I pick it up. Because I'm like, I just for three or four days. And I'm like, God damn it. And then I pick it up because I'm like, I just, it's my problem.

And I realize I have to change the way I feel about it. No, they did not change their behavior. I'm not going to change their behavior. But you don't think that at some point they'll have a breakthrough of like, no, he's been waiting for the break. No. Okay. So they're ready to live in filth.

They don't mind it at all. But I'm going through what you went through like 10 or 15 years ago because I will let the house accumulate because she has to see how bad this looks. She just has to. It doesn't work. The other day, every cabinet door was open.

The sink was filled to the brim. And then like- I have to have the drawer fully pushed in. If she leaves one of her drawers two inches open, I'm like, get that out of here. But I came home in a good mood and immediately got

pissed off walking into the kitchen. And you have to realize that's for you to change. How do you leave a bowl of cereal with the old milk in it just there? The dishwasher's empty. Why don't you just rinse and put it in there so we don't have to do all this later? But what gets me is we have, play Vivaldi, we have two sinks in our bathroom, and all

of her stuff will just spill over into my side. And I'm like, okay, not my hair straightener, not my makeup bag. And so I will do the line of demarcation and just scooch over. It's the most passive aggressive thing you can do where you just like look for the 50% line of the counter in the bathroom and I clean my side off and I move all of her stuff back over to her side. But it's all in a perfect line. Literally like there might as well be like a ruler there.

Right. Like showing that's your stuff? Get some painter's tape and actually put down a divider. And write on it? Okay, so you're telling me I have to take this matter into my own hands. I'm just going to have to clean it all the time. Yes. That's terrifying news for me. Were you not aware of this, that it was a cluttery person before?

Danny, they tell you, you know, communication and come together and things will get better and you can talk it out and still grow. No, no, no, they don't. People grow into who you want them to be. No, they don't. People are who they are and they're never going to change. Yeah, who's ever said they're going to grow into what you want them to be? Like, that's the biggest lie.

And it's the biggest lie for ladies thinking that they're going to change you. That's the biggest lie for ladies thinking that they're going to change you that's the problem yeah you know if you if you met him because um you were his secretary or assistant and then he started uh sleeping with you you know and he was tired of his wife well you'll be that wife at some point it's funny too it sounds like to a man, all four of us, I'm the same way. That the roles are typically the other way around. Yeah. That the guys are slobs. I'm the same way.

The problem is they started letting him vote. What's that? Then they let him vote, yeah. They started letting him vote. Pretty soon they're going to be driving. I'm the person that if I'm cooking, I clean as I go. I'll clean before I eat. When you're done eating, there's nothing

worse than having a huge, massive pile of shit to deal with after your meal. I'll clean as I go, whereas when Malcolm's mom and I were living together, it's totally the opposite. Yeah. We're just too good. There's a problem with trying to live up to the standard. I'm not like... We're just too good. We're too good. There's a problem with trying to live up to the standard that we...

The highest standard. I'm not a huge fan also of having like kids stuff out all the time. Same. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. Like I understand some of it's going to be out. There's a basketball goal. There's not much I can do with that.

Same. The house is much smaller now. See, that I just kind of accepted for I don't know, eight or ten years. But what I do is like, I put it in a line. You know what I mean? Like, okay, here's the thing, the little thing that he pushes himself around on. Here's the basketball

goal. Here's the, he's very into mowing. Oh, yeah. Same. So, I just, I like to line them up so that at least when you look at it, it looks like there's some level of organization here. Yeah. Boy, they always do love domesticated type things as a kid. Dude, speaking of that.

I want to sweep, sweep, sweep. I got to tell you about something that happened this morning. So I'm pretty sure every dad or mom has experienced this, which is that your kid is obsessed with the trash truck. I live it every day. When you hear it coming, you take the kid out there. It was the same way with my daughter. You take the kid out there. My son is so obsessed with it that this morning, my wife first found it and then i watched it uh afterward there is a one hour and

15 minute compilation on youtube of just trash trucks picking up trash bro there's not there's not we watched it for 45 minutes and every it's it's like a 15 wants to watch it yeah there's like a 15 or 20 second shot of a trash truck picking up trash. And every single time one pulls up, he just goes, trash truck. Your son, Carter's how old? Almost two. Almost two. I've known about...

It's not just a video, Jake. It is a fucking... Kristen said there were like a hundred of them. Oh, it's a network and it's called... The main one is called Thrash and Trash Productions. Thrash and Trash Productions is what I watched this morning. And they have this badass death metal opening to it. Let me see if I can.

I wasn't planning on playing any audio. No, you got to see. This is, they will, there's probably a thousand of these videos. And Malcolm has gotten to the point where he knows the different models and makes of these particular trash trucks. Okay. Whether they're side loaders, front loaders, the different types of grabber arms that they have, where the hopper is located. He's all into that.

He's a little over three, so he's had a lot of time to process this shit. Let me see. He's a little over three, so he's had a lot of time to process this shit. What do you see? What do you see? It's a trash truck. It's a trash truck. Yeah. Here, let me see if I can pull up the start of the... Yeah, we need the intro.

Yeah. Yeah. It's literally An entire network We used to watch Baby Einstein You guys are watching Hold on You guys are watching

Trash Truck No I'm not paying For premium Here's the Here's the beginning Dan Yes It's the

It's I use You don't get any ads No They're gone It's great Alright here's the Beginning Dan Why? You don't get any ads? No, they're gone. Huh. It's great. All right, here's the beginning, Dan.

It's literally just garbage trucks. Yeah. Narrator, there's no guy. It's people all over the country. Just doing trash. I've seen their videos in. Yeah, and this guy compiles in them. It's just people on their iPhones that hear the trash truck coming. How many views?

This one has 21 million. Jesus! We could have done that. I've seen a number of these, and like Jake said, they're usually anywhere between 10 and 20 seconds long depending on how long the pickup is for the trash. You will see the guy that's filming, there will be two other motherfuckers

with cameras doing their own videos. Not even the one that gets uploaded. How many subbies do they have on their YouTube page? Let's see here. I'm one of them. It says 199,000. So y'all need Trash Truck Wednesdays instead of Business Wednesdays. I watched an hour-long video of one job that this big-ass trash truck pulled up to,

and it was somebody that got evicted from their home, and everything they owned, I guess, had been sitting out there for a month. The city decided to do something about it. And I watched them for an hour fill up this trash truck with desks, chairs, mattresses, clothes. Sometimes there's like a Christmas tree. Yes, and they'll crush them. I mean, I like watching them too.

Hold on, let me see. I feel like the trash truck is a black hole. Trash truck. Another one. Another one. Here we go again. 40 minutes. Your journey has begun i like how we question why the children love trash trucks but we're all grown men talking about

trash trucks it's very true most of those kids want to be trash men when they grow up but how many percentage wise actually fulfill their life goal you know i don't know i mean i don't think it's a bad job. A great job. I think they have probably a pretty strong union. Yep. Good benefits package. Pretty good benefits.

Yeah. Work out. You get to work out. Yeah. You're done by like noon. Yeah. But yeah, those guys are heroes, man. Malcolm sees, he knows them all.

Of course. It's the same guys. So they're all waving and honking the horn. it's uh it's a whole they're fucking rock stars to him yeah so yeah i needed to kill 45 minutes with him this morning and i'm like let's just watch people do um waste yeah incredible gotta admit the kid loved it and that song kicks ass before we get to some sports want to remind you that there's a few tickets left for the dumb zone day at the ballpark if you'd like to swing by our broadcast location and catch a midweek rangers game with us check the show notes i'll put the purchase link in there for you seems like we're gonna have the whole section to ourselves so should be a good time

with some fellow dfs good sports segment for you right here as we learn what is and isn't a travesty in college football. And it seems like Mark Cuban reads Jake's articles. A lot going on sports-wise right here on DFW. Yeah, I mean, probably if you had to clock the overall composition of where does the most sports take place. It would have to be here. Well, I'm saying this week for sure.

Yeah, yeah, but I just mean in general, right? Like the Big 12 was always here. Now the SEC is here. The college football playoff is always here. Like at the Gaylord, I think they go put on the ice jackets and go through the ice sculptures. It just seems to all kind of happen here most athletes i would say out of any other metropolitan area we're always in line for march madness or yeah it seems like yeah for sure so the thing i was thinking about that's so weird about this is it is a complete wrecking of the childhood that I grew up with as far as football goes.

Texas and OU going to the SEC. But at the same time, now Texas and A&M are playing again. So it's sort of both at the same time. Like it's bringing something back. I mean, I remember my entire childhood was we watched the Cowboys on Thanksgiving. Wasn't me. All right. We watched the Cowboys on Thanksgiving,

and either Texas and Texas A&M play Thursday night, Friday night, or Saturday. This year, they're going to play on Saturday that weekend. We're getting that back, but at the same time, Texas now has a conference game with like... Florida. Florida and Ole Miss. It's so weird.

It's awesome. Do you think it is? Don't you? No. No? Uh-uh. Why? Because, like you said,

it was... Why? Why? It was geographical. I texas playing baylor you if you were a texas fan you knew baylor fans you knew texas tech fans you knew aggies you knew sooners i don't i don't know of old miss fan like that it's just it was based on geography and it used to be fun because you had people that cheered for teams because they were nearby. And it really tripped me out the other day. I was looking. I guess I'd forgotten Cal joined the ACC.

That's weird. So a cross-country flight for a conference game? Well, I mean. That's insane. USC and the Big Ten. Same thing. That doesn't compute with me. No, it's messed up,

but the schedule, there's going to be some tougher games on there. Oh, not just tougher, way bigger. Yeah. I mean, Texas is going to play at LSU at night. Or LSU is going to play at Texas at night, and it's not going to be like a week one or zero, one, two, three week. It's going to be like something that matters for the conference championship and especially now that the

conference football playoff is being expanded you can probably still get into the playoff with three losses so it's not just like oh okay this team it's almost it's the nfl now it is yeah that's just what it's becoming and that's i don't, as a kid who grew up going to Big 12 championships and going to four or five Texas games a year, that's just gone. I guess when I say it's awesome. It's gone and it's never coming back. When I say it's awesome, you were just describing that Aggie is going to play Texas again. That is pretty awesome.

That's certainly awesome. That is pretty awesome. That is certainly awesome. That is pretty awesome. Like, I always thought they should have tried to preserve that when Aggie left. Just to... We're still going to schedule this every year. Well, I mean,

the only reason it's happening now is basically because of an arranged marriage. They don't want to be doing this. So they're not doing Bedlam anymore, right? No. Yeah, that does suck. It does suck. And I loved going up to Lubbock and watching whatever.

I don't know. Texas Tech or Baylor and Texas Tech. Yeah, Blake's right. You know a Red Raider. Yeah. You know someone who went to Baylor. The only people that you really know if you live here probably are LSU fans. Like, you have LSU guy, right?

Oh, my God. Annoying guy in the neighborhood, yes. If you're an LSU guy, you're probably the annoying guy in the neighborhood. Go Tigers. Like, three blow-up things every Saturday morning in the yard. He flags. Like, he's all out. Probably got the things on the car.

Like, yes, if you're an LSU, you know he's an LSU fan he's all out probably got the things on the car like if yes if you're an ls you know he's an lsu fan there's no doubt but outside of that like i didn't grow up knowing any like alabama fans i didn't grow up knowing any florida fans or old miss fans or yeah whatever the hell vanderbilt yeah and then, like you said, being able to travel too, you know. Yeah, for sure. You can't go to a game. That's like the biggest part of college football to me. Are you looking forward to Alabama fans?

They seem awful. Okay, so I will tell you this. I've told this story before, but I don't think he started, but one of the first games that my brother ever played in was in Tuscaloosa. And my parents said that they were awesome. Like that they were super, super, this is again comparing it to LSU.

That they were super sweet. They were super kind. They treat it like a, like a, you know, formal party. Everybody dresses up. People have suits on. They're not mean to you.

But they're also expecting to win. Yeah. I think that helps. Obviously now, they have a new coach, so that could be a little bit different. But my parents were just like, we've traveled to 20 different cities to watch them play. These people were super, super kind to us. Boy, I forgot there's no Saban. Yeah.

That's really weird. It's weird seeing him on TV. He's great. He is great. You think so? He's really, really good. He's a lot more honest than I thought he would be. You know who John McDade is?

Refresh my memory. Apparently, he is the SEC coordinator of officials. And he had a press conference yesterday. And they were talking about just some things, like penalties for the defense clapping to try to emulate the offense's signals, whatever. They were just doing a lot of mundane stuff that is somewhat interesting, though, if you like football.

But then this question came out. I thought you guys would like to hear this. Hey, John, this may not be of wide interest to a lot of people around the SEC country right now, but Texas coming into the league, a lot of Sooners wondering about horns down is there a stance on what your officials will call moving forward on that do you feel that that's an accurate question like a lot of Sooners are wondering it's only the Sooners um well yes i think it's accurate yes i think blake is right okay yeah yeah you know if it's going to be an issue the signal it's it's going to be under the playing rules for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Wait, was it? Yeah. It was penalized in the Big 12 then? Yeah. What, if a player did it? Yeah. Yeah, okay. And we've talked a lot about that in our officiating group since I've taken over in the 2020 season. And to be on Sportsman Like Conduct, I'm asking my officials

to use a framework of judgment where the act to be a foul needs to be in one of three buckets. It needs to be taunting an opponent. It needs to be a travesty of the game. What? That's a travesty. Travesty.

Pretty subjective. What could that possibly mean? Travesty of whatvesty. Pretty subjective. What could that possibly mean? Warns down. Travesty, what do you put a football in your butt? Pull your wiener out? Yeah. What is a travesty of the game? That would be impressive, though.

It needs to be a travesty of the game, or it needs to otherwise compromise our ability to manage the game. What's a travesty of the game? It's just a phrase. I asked my officials the act itself needs to be offending to the census. If you took that act out of a football stadium and did it in a shopping mall or a grocery store would it offend the census to a majority of the reasonable people in the area? Right, that signal would not. Right, you might have some people that share that signal with you

you did that at a grocery store or in a shopping mall depending where you are so it's very much we're going to evaluate it in context um i could see a scenario um it's i want to be very cautious about using hypotheticals right but um i could see a scenario where an opponent of texas makes a big play in celebrating with his teammates possibly going back to the sideline, they're giving the signal. It's not taunting. It's not making a travesty of the game. It's not affecting our ability to manage the game.

So the answer is no. We're not going to penalize it. Unless you do it in somebody's face. Exactly. While they're laying on the ground. That's taunting. But if you give them the finger. Then, yes, that would be considered the...

If you're in the grocery store... Think back. Someone did this to me in the grocery store. The old dice roll. The dice roll, yeah. What about... Oh, man,

if we were in the media, we could have been... If we were there. Next question. What about... Licking the V? The peace sign with the tongue in between.

That's a missed follow-up. The tongue is moving. Yeah, and it's right in between. I would like someone to ask about the football in the butt. Then we just keep throwing out different scenarios. The most insane thing about that is that, I don't know what that guy makes, but it's a lot. And he said, you know, this has been a topic of conversation with me and my officials.

For four years. These people, these adults, these adults sat for years and sat there and talked about this, deliberating it like it was whether or not we should invade Syria. And it's a hand signal. That's great. That's insane. It did not make the video game. Sorry Sooners. Oh.

Horns Down did make NCAA 25. Okay, so you're rolling with it. How's the team? When did it get released? Tuesday, right? Or Monday? I could have played it Monday at 3 o'clock. Okay, so you've been sitting on it? You've been heavy into it?

I haven't touched it. Whoa! Too busy? Are you worried your kids aren't going to be fed? Because of the dishes and the cupboard doors open? Some of it, yeah, just a little busy. The other part is I've just been hurt by football video games so much in the past decade. Oh, no. Oh, Blake.

And right now, it can't hurt me. Like, right now, it's perfect. How have you been hurt? And it's awesome. Like, you've been disappointed? Like a travesty? Yeah, just a travesty. To the game?

No, just every year. Madden has sucked for like a decade. I get excited for Madden. And it's like, this year will be different. This year it'll play better. It'll feel better. And it's just horrible. With Madden, did they ever actually have Belichick as the coach?

No. That never happened? It was always some fill-in guy that looked like a three-year-old. Yeah, and it was Griffin. Did he not sign the whatever? He never signed it. That's correct. And it was the same as when the NBA had video games in the early 90s and mid-90s.

The Chicago Bulls had Scottie Pippen and SG number 23. And Barry Bonds wouldn't be in the baseball game either. You could never play as Jordan. Barry Bonds is always John Dowd. Yeah. That's why Hakeem Olajuwon and Houston Rockets were the best team. Yeah. I'll get to it eventually, but I am...

So right now it's pure. I'm nervous. Yeah. Right now it's pure. You walk by the dining room table and just look at it. Right now it's as great as you think it is. Come play with me, Blake. Yeah.

Have you looked up any of the snubs for the backup quarterbacks? They have a third-string quarterback from Virginia. He has a 12 rating. He's a 12, yeah. I have seen that. It's amazing. Is that Sh... I'm going to get the name wrong, but it's some cat, like Schrodinger's cat.

Breaking Bad? Yeah. Is it alive? A little bit. In the box? If you don't see it. If you don't open it, then it's alive? It's quantum physics.

Yeah. You paid extra to get it early, right? I did. Yeah, now you're not even... That's a travesty. Oh, one thing. One other sports thing. Oh, go ahead. Sorry. I don't know that this is for sure

true. I was not aware that D Magazine had comments. It's always a good idea. But it does appear to me that someone who uses the exact same image

as Mark Cuban on his Twitter profile and the name Mark Cuban has commented on my article. Oh yeah? Which I don't know how this happened. It took off a little bit. It might have been that our good friend Robert Sturm decided to

retweet me. Obviously, him and Cubes have some level of relationship. Yeah, what's the comments? Because the article is about Mark Cuban. Where is he? What does he do? And he follows me. I have to dust him, as we've said, even though he follows me.

He just said, when you hire someone, you help develop them. And if they get good at their job, as Nico and Finn are, you let them do their job. When they need help, you help them. If they aren't good or if they weren't good at their jobs, you would hear from me much more. But fortunately, they aren't just good. They have been great at their jobs. Are we throwing shade at Donnie Nelson? I don't know.

He was very visible during Donnie Nelson's entire tenure. Exactly. Entire tenure. And I don't know that this is for sure cubes, but I wouldn't put it past him to... Of course not. He sees everything. Yeah. I don't know. I just wanted to tell you that I think Cuse...

No, that's really cool. But that still doesn't explain why he's not at the trophy ceremony and all that. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't... There's really not any... Let's get him on. ...any explanation here at all. And it's not like he's pissed off.

He wasn't like, hey, F you. No, no. That sounds like a fair explanation if that's the truth. It wasn't a Lamar Odom type call. Yeah. But... And like I said, I didn't even know that we had comments. But Kirk Henderson, who's a Mavs guy, hit me up and was like, hey, I think Cuban might have commented on your DMag article.

I mean, how hard is it to create a profile and grab an image as your profile picture and make a comment. That's really hard. It's easier to swim in a river of shit. Seems to me if you're going to go to the trouble of doing that,

stealing the avatar, creating a name and a unique profile posing as Mark Cuban, you would do it to stir up shit. Yeah, you wouldn't do a well-thought-out response

saying, I think Nico and Kid are good at their jobs. This is too mindful of a reply to not be legit. This isn't a Kevin Durant situation. Exactly. Kevin Durant. Do you want to remind those of you interested in buying your way into Day 1 status? We have about 40 slots left.

Whether you were late to the party or affected by the Patreon cutoff, Venmo at the Dumb Zone 69 bucks, and you can be a part of the illustrious day one club. All right, let's get to Charles Haley. I'm not going to play the full hour we spent with him. Just going to give you the good parts. But really quick, things got off to a sideways start hold on to your seats this is from our tuesday july 16th episode would you practice the same as

like it's a game well i didn't do that practice shit okay you weren't it wasn't that no no you were there for sunday hey hey bruh wasn't it it Korean? I didn't get paid for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. But let me stop lying. You choose when it is. Yeah, I did get paid for Monday and Thursday sometimes. But, you know, hey, no. The thing that I've always wondered about you is, you know, this is something that I've said about Des. It's something that I say about myself sometimes, like with my own mental health struggles.

about Des it's something that I say about myself sometimes like with my own mental health struggles do you feel like you could have been as dominant as you were without being a little bit sideways mentally do you know what I mean like there's times where I feel like no I don't know what you mean well I feel like are we talking about my mental illness are you talking about me being bipolar yeah what are you talking hey what sideways illness? Are you talking about me being bipolar? Yeah, but I'm saying— What are you talking? Sideways. What does sideways mean? I guess bipolar, but I mean being someone who was relentless and had a passion for violence, it made you a very dominant player.

Bruh, let me give you something. I'm the calmness in the midst of the war. That's where you feel at home. I knew every defensive play, everybody positioned on every play. So that chaos part you're talking about, hey, sometimes, you know, you go up and down. Yeah. But that had nothing to do with my body or work on the field. Now, in the locker room or out at practice, if I go out there,

somebody step in that zone, you know, where that arm reaches on, maybe they get hit in the mouth or hit in the balls. But you know what? I'm okay with it. It makes sense. I just, you know, it's interesting to me that. See, you're a type of guy, man, that make guys, people that have mental illness don't want to deal with it when you say. No, no.

You know. Trust me, I talk about it a lot. Well, you know, the way you talk about it, because you know what? Mental illness struggles, man. You know, I do a lot of work with that. And it's hard. And it's been inspiring for me to listen to you talk to him. Especially when you're dealing in the minority realm where Hispanic, blacks, and other minorities, men, we're taught that men don't cry.

Right. Hey, we don't seek help. Put it down. Ever. Yeah. So I didn't seek help. Put it down. Ever. Yeah. So I didn't know nothing was wrong with me. I just thought that, you know what, that's what I was trained to do. You know, I always thought myself as a good Marine.

Give me my mission, get the hell out the way. So I had to learn that that's not the best way now. And so I take my medication, and that gives me about 30 seconds to a minute to think before I react. Now, do I still react the way I used to? Sometimes. And sometimes, you know, I think about and calm down. Doesn't have to be perfect though well well this part of my life i always say i'm i'm i'm awesome with the king you know i believe in peace i used to be malcolm x if you touch me i'm gonna knock your teeth out you know so hey

it is what it is i prefer to deal with it by pushing it all deep inside. You do that. And never. You be you. Yeah, never let it come out. Everybody else, you know what? Seek help. Emotions did fizzle, but it did stick with Jake overnight, and we did a little post game the following day. Hey, can we quickly promote something for tomorrow? Yeah.

A guy who can kick. Yeah. A cowboy that hopefully will not get mad at you about mental illness. I'll address that if you want. If you want. I don't think he was mad at me. I think he was Charles Haley. Dan's been in those crosshairs before.

I feel like by the end of it, it was totally cool. We had a big hug at the end. I, you know, I don't think that was like a bad interaction. I think the only mistake you made was bringing up how a bipolar person is bipolar and how it could have been negative.

That's where I felt like maybe he felt attacked, but I understood your question. What I was saying, though, was that it could be positive. Yeah. Like that if you're the type of person who has, you know, some slightly wrong things in your brain, sometimes it can actually, I've always said this, like I said, about Dez, that that actually fueled him into being the person that he was, successful in the field that he was. So the point I was trying to make is,

if your job is to be pretty irrationally violent, is there a chance that maybe that helped you in that path? No, I thought your question was great, but your approach of bringing up his bipolar and then just calling it sideways. Here's my analysis of the whole thing. A euphemism for it, I suppose, rather than being like, hey, you nut.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This has to do with yesterday's interview with Charles Haley, if you haven't heard it. It's a pretty good one. Brandon Aubrey tomorrow. Yes. Brandon Aubrey. The best kicker in the NFL. I have less concern about him getting mad at me about questions about mental health.

But I was analyzing this after the fact. Maybe I was talking to somebody about it. And I don't think he's quick on his feet. And he even went on to explain to us he's not really good even reading. Right. But he can memorize certain things. Then you were like, here's a book.

Yeah, okay. It was Good Night Moon. It wasn't that... So... I haven't thought about Goodnight moon in a long time been a while so I do I don't think he's quick on his feet

I think he has his thing and he's I know what I'm going to say here and then when you kind of throw something else at him and it turns him to a different way

and then he's trying to analyze it real quick and I think his default is I'm on the defensive yeah and so he tried to analyze what you said and maybe he thought perhaps you were making light of it just because he heard mental health and like you said sideways and just whatever so like but you're right also i don't think it ended it's just a wild ride look we had other parts of that interview were a wild ride yeah somebody else texted me like it that sounds exhausting to be a part of it and you're gonna sleep great tonight so um so maybe the deep stare into your eyes was him processing trying to figure

out what it is you actually said yeah like I said, he was staring through me. My intention was certainly not to make light of anything that he's gone through at all. You were saying mine was. Yeah. What are you, sad? What are you, crazy? What are you, bi? What does that mean?

Because some people that are afflicted by that. How do you have three personalities? I thought you were bipolar. That's a great point. There we go. Back to the rest of Charles Haley as he gives his thoughts on some of the current Cowboys and why his charity is angled toward

kids reading. You had two interceptions in your career. That's a lie. I had more than that. What are you reading, man? Just looking at pro football references. Tell me how many you had then. I don't know. Okay.

I just didn't know if anything stood out, like was it batted down pass type thing and you catch it up in the air? They might have hit the receiver and bounced off and I got it or something like that. It's just odd for a lineman, a guy with a bunch got it or something like that. It's just odd for a lineman, you know,

a guy with a bunch of sacks to have that. See, you catch me at the end of it where I played linebacker at the beginning. I was going to say, this is not a lineman. So, you know, you have to – I'm a hybrid. Okay. I did it all. Yeah. You understand what that means?

Not really. I don't understand what that means. You can put your hand on the ground or you can stand up. When my hand on the ground, I got very little. I only have a few plays. But when I'm standing up, I got a lot of responsibilities. I have to know. And I knew at the 49ers, we had 20 base defenses, 20 red zone defenses,

10 goal line defenses, then specialty things. I had to know that, and I knew it for every player, every play on the defense because knowledge is power. And it gave me an opportunity where I knew that this corner was going to be up, so if I jump inside, I know I've got help outside. that this corner is going to be up. So if I jump inside, I know I got help outside. So you have to take chances,

but you can't do that if you don't know where people are at on the field. It's like a chessboard. As someone who grew up watching you as a kid. You still look like a damn kid. Well, I appreciate that. No one else actually says that. I thought they might have a bottle in here for your ass. Wow. To me, Micah reminds me of you in a lot of ways.

How? Because he's a hybrid. And because he can put his hand in the ground, he can drop, he can stand up. When did you see Micah put his hand in the ground? They did it quite a bit the first year. He put his hand from from i mean that down to there like he was actually a 4-3 end for a little bit the first i don't know six seven games before i think it was demarcus lawrence got hurt so to me i just feel like he's athletic he's he has the

ability to cover he has the ability to go get the quarterback. To me, he reminds me of you a lot. If you disagree with that, then I understand. I'd rather people say he reminds them of LT than me. I'm an A, bro. He's not like me. In what sense? I like the fouling part of the game.

You don't think he does? I think his arms are short. He got more speed and mobility than I did. And so he's able to use that. But for me, I wasn't fast. I was quick. And so I studied players more. I knew what step they're going to put their feet together

where I can just run over. Get the leverage. Right. And I never lifted weights. And I just think he's more of an LT type of a player than I am. And I studied LT, and I talked to LT all the time. And I always wanted to understand how he could do some of the things he does. And it was, you know, he had a different set of skills that I didn't have.

And that's what made him the greatest pass rusher ever to play in the game. Do you think it's weird that Micah has like a podcast where he just talks about his team? Are you aware of this somewhat media controversy? Hey, man. Hey, to each his own. To each his own. But I would have definitely listened to the Charles Haley podcast in 1995. Hey, to each his own, man.

If he thinks that's going to make him have teammates that respect him, and that's going to lay it on the line for him, then be you, boo. What don't you like about today's NFL? It's soft. Hell, if Jerry be broke, he wouldn't be $10 billion. I would have had a billion dollars if I had played against this league, man. First ballot, for sure. And, you know, I would have even – I would have played 16 years

because they don't chop. They don't – the backs can't hit you like they were doing me. That's because that's how my back got popped is, you know, I was engaged and then wham. Some rules. And so all these rules, they changed all these rules, not only for the offense because, you know, everybody played a 10-0. They just wanted scoring.

Scoring. They wanted scoring. They wanted to see big plays. And our thing was, you know, run the ball, take up all the time on the clock, take nine, ten minutes off the clock, score. You know, they don't want that anymore. They want to see high-flying games, and that doesn't add up to – the guys, you know, when you see defensive players that are on top of that game,

they're the players that play with violence. And you'll know them when it comes. Yeah, but like you said, they changed the rules also for offense. So would you even be allowed to do all these things? I was going to say, I don't want you to get mad at me. You might have made a billion, but I think you might have been fined like $250,000. Given today's rules, I think. Hey, you know what?

When the game is on the line, playoff time. They don't call it. No, when playoff time comes, like Bill Walsh said to me when I was a rookie, he said, within the first five plays, I want that quarterback on his back. So I'm going to get me 15. And that quarterback is going to realize I'm coming. So he's going to be looking out the corner of his eye.

And so if he's looking at me, he ain't looking downfield. Interesting. So, yeah, I would have got fined. But it would have been worth it. It would have been worth it. And you have to look at it like that. What are you going to bring to the game that's different? And how are you going to bring to the game that's different? How are you going to hold your teammates

accountable? That's what I want Michael to work on. It's being that leader, being that person to say, you know what? Follow me. Follow me. Then reach down and pick them up.

I would reach down and pick them up one time. After that, I would hit them in their balls and say, you know reach down pick them up you know i i would reach down pick them up one time after that i'll hit them in that ball so you know what hey because hey it's time for you to bend over not not fall down you know so i gave you one chance already yeah yeah so you grew up in a small town very small my town still segregated whoa whoa yeah Whoa. Yeah, that seems extreme. What's extreme? Where is it? Gladys, Virginia. Okay.

Why is it extreme? Just the whole, you know, I thought segregation ended a while ago. What is Highland Park? 2022. What is Highland Park? 2024. It's quite segregated, actually. Yeah, I guess you're right.

Oh, shit. Oh, I thought that was um oh so you came from like highland park hey bro you you your community was like highland park i do is go to railroad track you know where blacks will cross the railroad track and white they ain't over there you know it's a ain't shit change but today but i know that you were you don't know shit. You were famously... Well, I've heard you talk in the past.

Hell yeah. Jasmine loves... And you're right. It's the green room. The green room pissed him off. Oh, no, no. I'm sorry, Dan. We got you new waters and everything, man.

Yeah, Todd told me... Todd already done kicked me once. This is where we offer a gift. No, we got you a dumb zone. You want that cup? We get each and every one of our guests a coffee cup, tumbler. So that means that I'm done? No, no, no.

No, no, no. I'm just saying I'm trying to calm you down because you're yelling at me. I'm not yelling. I'm just kidding. Anyway. If you're going to cry, man, you know, you're yelling at me i'm not yelling i'm just kidding uh anyway if you're gonna cry man you know um you got you're in your sensitivity no i told you i don't cry i will push it inside you go no i'm just a guy who cries hey they'll give you a minute go to bath for a month

they will um you talk do i yeah i i'm gonna give you the gift of me not talking why yeah because less of me is more of a gift what do you got for charles haley i'm just charles is you've always fascinated me just like jake you i grew up watching you as a kid are you going to be really astonished at how young i look like you were with jake he said no what oh no i had a drink on that you know you're just you've always that's a win for me it's a win for me right there. You've just always been such a fixture. And I think all of us who really just love football and can't stand this current state of shit that the Cowboys are,

we go back to the 90s. We hold on to what that was because that was real football. That was real men playing the game. We're winning 13 games a year here. 12 games a year? 12. Yeah. Okay, but he was playing football.

I mean, why win the playoff game? Yeah, why? Is that that important? Who cares? Hey, guys. I think that the Cowboys have been on the right track for years. It's just they're missing – you know, Dak needed a big receiver, a tall – like Alvin Harper, who they can throw that 50-50 ball to and go get it,

go up in the air and get it. Most teams have that guy. And playoff time come, people don't show up. That got to force the ball in because guys can't get open. They get locked up man-to-man with linebackers. because guys can't get open. They get locked up man-to-man with linebackers. I know y'all guys would like to point at that because y'all not students of the game.

Y'all don't look at on the plays, is the receiver getting open or what is going on? What's causing it? You know, what's causing it. You know, it ain't Dak decision-making or it's just players not standing up. You know, when playoff time comes, hell. And I do blame Dak a little bit because he does not hold those guys accountable at practice. And I yell at him about that all the time.

But I've never been around a quarterback that did that anyway. But I thought that, you know, he has to really make these guys be accountable. But this year I expect different things from these guys this year because I think that they've got an offensive line that can protect them. I don't know what type of running thing it's going to be, but hopefully these guys can knock people off the ball. But I look forward to this year. I think this year is going to be very interesting.

Although Philadelphia, oh my God, did they put some pieces on the board, didn't they? Yeah. Oh my God. The 49ers, Jesus Christ, they got more toys on offense than you can ever believe. That's interesting you bring up San Francisco because I wonder, like, which organization do you feel more of a connection to at this point of your life? Like, when you go back, when you go to Arlington or you go to San Francisco or wherever their stadium is now, Santa Clara or whatever, which one do you feel closer to? Well, it's here because I'm here. You know, I go to the stadium.

I know the janitors. You know, I hug. You know, I go in, and all the people who work in the doors, they are the same, man. And we hug. We talk. And, you know, I really like they're my teammates, And, you know, I really like they're my teammates.

And I really enjoy game day because I get to see them. And they're happy to see me, you know. And it's, I don't know. I miss team. That's the part that I miss about the game is being a locker room round team. I don't miss the physicality. I don't miss dealing with stupid people. Hitting people in the balls. I miss that sometimes.

That's part of the team thing. I think I hit Kenan Norton in his balls because he was talking too much and I had a headache. I do that with Dan. He questioned my manhood. I said, bro, and I had a headache. I do that with Dan sometimes. He questioned my manhood. I said, bro, I worked on a farm. I used to cut them out.

This is light work. Yeah, so hitting them don't mean nothing, bro. I cut them out and ate mountain oysters. So I said, you're having a good day, bro. When San Francisco traded you, did you have extra, like was that, were you upset about that or were you happy?

I was depressed. I created the mess and then I was depressed because it happened. Did you have the self-awareness to say, I created this, or was that only upon later in life? No. I swung that damn plane ride, and I realized I was leaving the team,

the team of the 80s, to come to a team that hasn't done anything. And I didn't know anybody here. I didn't know anything. I had no expectations. I was just depressed because I put myself in this situation. And I'm going to tell you, when things happen, it happens quickly. And then when it's over, then you're going, oh, shit. And then when it's over, then you're going, oh, shit.

Hey, you can't put the back in the bottle. But the great thing was is I think if Jerry Jones hadn't met me at the airport when I got off and, you know, took me that long ride to the Marriott that's only a mile away that took about 45 minutes to get there. Oh, my God, Jesus Christ. I knew everything he ever did in his whole life. I'm going like, damn, I'm still trying to forget it. And I'm going like, hey, I'm going like, is he ever going to shut the hell up? I'm going like, damn. Oh, Jesus, help me, Lord. Hey, and he just kept, and then when I was getting out the car,

he says, Charles, look at me. You know, I'm, you know, look at me. I look, he said, hey, I got your back. Then I stared at him because I wondered, did he understand what he just said? And because nobody's ever told me that they had my back. And I'm going like, shit, now I respect this man more than anything. How did you get motivated? What kind of a coach could motivate you? Because, and i'll tell you the background a little bit okay is like when i when our kids

were learning to read or learning everything you know as they're little yeah and then i thought about what would be best for them and then we would talk about different nfl coaches and you have her tony dungy type who seems to be you know centered and will just speak uh and then you have some that'll scream at you and uh that's how they motivate you and i always thought the screaming coach was terrible i didn't like the correct coach correct because and then my analogy would be what if your kid that's how your teacher like they didn't get their math right and so they just berate them in front of the class and scream at them and you're an idiot and same thing you know reading or whatever they're screaming it you would hate that teacher you would not allow that with your kid so why do

we allow it why do we allow these people who are nfl coach wannabes to be little league coaches screaming f you at your at these little kids that's my background i'm wondering uh that's a long way to just say you know what what do you believe in as a coach, what's the best coach that ever could motivate you? Okay. I'll tell you why, so you understand. So I went to college reading two to three grade levels behind. And so I went to reading writing lab. I wrote this paper, and I gave it to the lady to look over,

and she go, oh, my God. And I'm going like, damn, I hit it. And she said, no, this is a paper of a 10th grader. And I yanked it out of her hand, and as I'm running out the room, I'm like, shit, I don't want to go back to class. I don't want to work on a form. I don't want to go to school with cow shit on my feet. I don't want to have to get up at 530. I don't want, you know, it was so many things that I didn't want. I had to turn around and go in there and ask her for help.

And she said, I will help you, but I won't write your papers. And I said, yes, ma'am. So I had to sacrifice going home in the summer to see my mom and dad. I had to stay there the whole summer just to catch up. And the hardest damn thing I ever did in my life was get my college degree. But I got it. I earned it. Nobody gave me nothing.

And I still fight the fight because I can't sound out words. I have to memorize words. I have to memorize how they're spelled because I have that. And it hurts me because when I read in front of people, I get nervous. So this thing is painful for me. But yet, the only way I can get through it, I got to go through it. And so that's why I started Tackle Tomorrow. And I gave James Madison my Hall of Fame bus because I want every kid to walk through that damn door to understand. Understand one thing. It's not a right, but a privilege. So get your degree. James Minus took a chance on me.

James Minus took a chance on me. I feel like I need to applaud. I know. You're supposed to be crying, bro. I push it all deep inside. Okay. And then get back to what you're saying is I hate coaches.

Coach yelled at me, I'm done. That'll turn you off. That'll do the opposite of what they are into. Well, if I was little, I may not have anything but to have to listen to it. But as an NFL player or a college player, oh, no. Oh, no. You're going to know real fast that you ain't going to ever do that one again. Because I don't understand.

You know what? I understand English. Have you hit a coach in the balls? You know, when I used to ride my motorcycle sometimes, you know, it would jiggle because, you know, you're hitting bumps in the road. That's about it. Okay. Did you ask, what question did you ask? I asked if you've ever hit a coach in the balls.

I thought you were talking about my motorcycle. No, Jake had said if a coach yells at you like that, they'll learn. But you know what? if a coach yells at you like that, they'll learn. But you know what? If you ever go to a game, if you go to a game, just one day just go to a soccer game or something that's close by and just stand there. You'll hear parents talking worse about that kid than that coach ever will.

Yeah. Oh, you're slow. You got to get faster. Hey, I'm sitting over there going like, it ain't going to be one day I put my kid down. And then I always, my kids, they understand what dad going to ask. What did you do good? What did you do bad? And how are you going to fix it?

That's it. When they got in the car after the first couple times, they said, Dad, my touches wasn't that good. Dad, you know, I got tired. I need to run more. Hey, I was like, you know, you get shocked, man, if you allow them the opportunity to tell you what they did wrong. But most parents, they want to tell them what they saw instead of allowing the kid to tell you what they saw. Now, if my kid, you know, I might add a little something to it, but I'm not going to berate them, you know. And especially that day when they tell me that, the next day or the day down, I'm going to say, maybe you should work on this too.

So how did you receive Jimmy Johnson's style? Because, because you know his is was you know in your face holy shit hey man i ain't never seen nothing like that man hey i if he was like that in college jesus christ no wonder he brought everybody from miami to um to the Cowboys from that coaching style. I've never in my life experienced anything like that. You know, you couldn't win by enough points to make him happy. You know, he would just be screaming, man. He'd get up on the arm. I'd just go sit in my locker, man.

I ain't got time for none of that crap, man. It was on. Hey, he just went the hell off all the time and then the next day all them idiots that did stuff wrong he'll line them up in front of everybody and take their money and dog cuss them in front of everybody and i'm and then this is the one this. I feel like he's having memories right now. I know. I'm like, we're in a safe space. Hey, but what got me the most is they said the meeting started at 8 o'clock.

What time did the meeting start? The paper. On the board, it says 8. On the announcement, it says 8. On the announcement, it says 8. But if 95% of the players are in there at 745, the meeting starts at 745. Anybody who comes after that is late.

And they take your money. Now I got a question for you. What time did Charles show up at the meeting? Later than 745. Huh? Later than 745. What time do you think I showed up? 8? 8 o' eight eight o'clock yeah hey i tell them in a minute words have meaning we asked you to be here at one you guys were here at one o'clock we were i told you we're not fighting i got a micromanager

back there you know he loves you too dan oh okay, cool. Oh, God. He was telling me all these great things about you, and I'm going like, man, you got a man crush on Luke? Yeah. What, man? I'm like Prince to him. Yo. Todd loves you. Charles thinks I look young.

Yeah. Okay, so did the hype live up, though? Everything he was hyping up about Dan. Yeah, has it all paid off for you today? In fact— I think that, Dan, I think you must be nervous, because Todd told me

a lot of other stuff, but I understand. It wasn't like a Jerry Jones ride to the hotel type tell you a lot of stuff, was it? Might as well, man. Jesus Christ. Todd don't stop talking, bruh. Hey, Todd will start talking about

that dirt that's outside his window and how it got out, man. Hey, he's a very knowledgeable young man. I love that we talked about that different stuff, man. Sorry, I interrupted you. Go ahead. No, no, no, no. I like that. Good. Then we're going to like each other a lot.

Yeah. No, I just like that you got into different stuff. We've had you in studio in the past in a different... We were over at a radio station and we had talked about... I don't know. It's kind of like...

I've heard you talk about a lot of things, but I feel like today I've heard you talk about some stuff I've never heard you talk about before. So I appreciate that. Because you never asked. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, you talk about before, so I appreciate that. Hey, because you never asked. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, you were nervous. No, I probably was focused on your giant hog in the past.

You were scared to be over here, bro. You're going like, yeah, that brother might pop. I believe at one time we had you in talking about Jeff Perlman's book. Who is Jeff Perlman? Perlman wrote that book, Boys Will Be Boys, is it called? Yeah, I think so. And there was a lot of focus on the size of your hog in the book. Who was Jeff Perlman? Perlman wrote that book, Boys Will Be Boys, is it called? Yeah. I think so. And there was a lot of focus on the size of your hog in the book.

See, I don't understand why men would act something like that. Yeah, well, it was in a book. Are you envious? Well, if you must know. Hey, I just want to know. If you must know. Hey, so I guess when you go buy hot dog, you get nervous, huh? Yeah, oh my gosh.

Yeah, if you just are barely average. When's the last time you had a hot dog, brother? You must be nervous. Oh my God, what is that? Oh Jesus, help me Lord. Man, you're the best. Those interested in learning more about Charles Haley's charity or interested in his golf tournament on September 10th, visit TackleTomorrow.com. We do need a palate cleanser after that. Let's get to our

Thursday, July 18th episode for the first time, where during viewer mail, Dan plays a version of a song you've probably never heard before. Oh, yeah, wait a minute, Uncle Hotmail. Hey, Uncle Hotmail. Uncle Hotmail, look at me. Is there any mail in your box for me? Yeah, I looked at our daily run sheet that we share now. And all that's on there today is Brandon Aubrey and mail. I don't know if we're sticking with it, but it's our Friday. It is.

That's why. And because it's our Friday, guys, I have a bunch of birthdays. People getting them in before the weekend. Today, July 17th. Oh, this came in yesterday. I missed it. Good DF Jeff Martin's birthday. Not sure how old he is, not sure

his leaders, and I'm not sure his DF number because I'm not gay. Oh. We enjoyed talking about all the tea when the cumulus stuff went down, so thanks to help making us feel like schoolgirls again. DF number 1604, like the spare highway, Max. So Jeff Martin, it's his birthday.

Uncle Hotmail, birthday shout out to Barrett, who finally becomes a man on Saturday the 20th. His leaders are Jake and Saroy. finally becomes a man on Saturday the 20th. His leaders are Jake and Saroy. Okay. Both long-time XP1s, day one Glens, and now recent converts to whatever the hell this thing is. Good question.

That is from Sean, who says, P.S., more Saroy. And then I have Dear Dan and Jake. Please give a shout out to my good friend and fellow dumb, dumb cumster. Jeez. It's hard to shock me. I kind of like it. It's the play on cum dumpster. Yeah, no, that's super.

I got it. Oh, you guys got it? Oh, yeah, for sure, baby. Yeah. Raymond will have a dumb cumster shirt in a half hour. Oh, I don't know if we need that. Oh, no, guys, I'm shocked by this one. Are you reading the bad word? It was just

jarring, is all I'm saying, as it were. A little Trump in there. Make Bush's great again. Anyway, the guy, dumpster guy, is Jason Heisler. His heroes are Dan, Jordan Shipley, and Letarian.

Jordan Shipley. Wow. Do you know he was roommates with Colt McCoy? No way. Yeah. Only child? No. He actually had a brother who was also, I believe, good friends with Colt's brother, Jackson and Case.

That's from Jared Reamer. They would go fishing together. Reamer, the Fort Collins DFDC. P.S. More Danny. The one guy wants more Saroy. This guy wants more Danny. What do we do? The fuck is that guy's name?

Uncle Hotmail, I am turning Pat Tillman on the Cardinals times Anfernee Hardaway or Pat Tillman on the Sun Devils minus Brett Maher. My leaders are the buying a single banana from the grocery store. 47. Then heading home with the potassium boost to moose my wife while wearing a bomber jacket. This is from Nick Sia.

He says, I vaguely remember y'all talking about the story of Anthony Kim cashing out on an insurance policy, and one of the implications was that he was not allowed to golf for a certain amount of time, even recreationally. Anyway, I am wondering if you two have looked up a recent picture of Anthony Kim since he is now back and on the live tour. He looks a bit worse for wear.

I would appreciate you dusting off one of your 20 or so investigative reporting hats and giving us a follow-up. And then Nick says, more 690 guests bullying. Oh, more 690 guests bullying the Reddit LGBTQ plus community.

Is that a picture of Anthony Kim? The gallery is reacting negatively to this current picture of... My goodness. ...Progo for Anthony Kim. Would you trade, you now look like that for the rest of your life, and worse, because you ain't getting better, for the $20 million insurance policy that he had or whatever? Probably so, yeah.

And I believe Liv might have bought out the policy, so he's still making more than that. But I'm just saying, you have to look exactly like Anthony Kim. And worse. Right. And somehow you have to explain to your kids. Dad, why aren't we Asian? I'm like, don't worry about it.

I paid for your college. Yeah, look, he looks like a badass right there. Yeah. Anna K, right? He does look like Salt Bae. You know Anna K? I do. She says,

it's our best friend Stephen's 39th birthday. Our must mean her and Pedro. She says, my leaders are whoever can get the traffic on Dove Road to stop being a bitch at 5 p.m. every day. And Dan's censored version of She'll Be Coming Around the Mountain. So, I don't know if you guys even know what this is.

Oh, I know. Many years ago, I was concerned about the future, the health of our children and their morality and these dirty songs that I heard. I heard a dirty song on one of our kids' CDs. Maybe it was Lori Berkner. I don't know if you guys are into Lori Berkner. But that was a big deal when I was little.

I'm aware, though. And apparently I had offered a censored version of one of these dirtiest songs I've ever heard I went back and found that and I thought the editing was poor my editing was poor back then so I redid it we can So now you can play... This is like Kidz Bop. Now, your parents won't be offended when you're in the car and playing kids songs? Six white horses, huh?

You might not have realized there's like six different verses to this song. Hey, a celebration. A pat on the back. Really, it is different when you think about it in that context. That's what I do every time. Because the around the mountain thing doesn't make sense. But having some cake and ice cream? You do get excited.

If it finally happens. Okay, you know, I mean, maybe a promo code for a pajama company or something? This is very accurate, though, if you've ever seen the sexy time we have at home. That sounds really dirty. When she... Itch, scratch, yum, yum. Lick, lick. Toot, toot. That sounds really dirty. Lick, lick. I did not know that there was a lick, lick line. Can you imagine that?

I will do that. Hey, hey. Like they're so amazed that you finally got to that point. Here's some cake. Here's cake. There's like a big sign. Mission accomplished. Hi there. Itch.

Scratch. Yum yum. Whoa. Back to. Okay. Can I tell you I was on top? Oh my. If you're looking I was on top? Oh, my. If you're looking for some Dumb Zone merch,

head to dumbzonemerch.com where we have some politically themed stuff for you to check out. And speaking of, they shot at a former president. Should probably talk about it. Two days after the incident, here is our Monday epi with Danny

breaking down what could have been, why Twitter is such a bad or good place after something like that. Today and Trump. Yeah. Is what we get to now. Yeah. And I feel like my headline from this, the Trump shooting over the weekend, is kind of like what we've done today is indicative.

I mean, just the fact that... We're mirroring the national conversation, right? Like, we didn't leave with it. It feels like it happened, and then it's like, oh, yeah, that was a story the other day. Yeah. But, well, what about the River Seine? And Caitlin Clare, like, you've just kind of moved on real quick.

Mark Cuban. I feel like growing up, that would have been the biggest story, and everybody would always be talking about it. I swear to God, I'm not positive my wife knows to this second that it happened. I told my mom about it. I was telling you this morning. I told my mom about it last night, and it happened on Saturday. Yeah.

I'm serious, though. My wife, unless she has watched the recording of the Today Show News, because she will just sit there. She's on Dexter right now. I think she started Dexter Friday. She's on, like, season three now. First time? She's never done Dexter yet.

No, no, no. She's like, why'd you tell me this was good? It's so great. She's watching Dexter morning, noon, and night. I envy her. But that's the way we watch TV too is we don't scroll.

We don't fire up the news. We just watch what we plan to watch. Sure. And there's no real sporting events on. I didn't watch any all-star stuff yet.

Did you guys? I watched Dude Perfect ground out. Did you watch Dude Perfect play a little softball, celebrity softball or whatever they do? When? Why?

I don't know. I mean, it was sent to us a lot. Yeah. Kobe, Cody, Coley. They're the future. In fact, if you want to make this a politics segment. And here's the thing. He grounded out to Kane Brown,

who was once hired to play the halftime show by Charlotte Jones. Kane Brown's on the list. Kemp's been? Yeah. He once got lost on his own property. He did. Started tweeting about it. And that's weird?

I would think so. Yeah, you get lost on your own property and need help. I worked with a guy that, you know. Well, yeah, that was weird because your own property and need help. I worked with a guy that, you know, might have happened to you. Well, yeah, that was weird because that was like a quarter acre. I think Kane Brown was on probably 100, but yeah. So anyway, that's, I mean, I don't know. What was your, in fact, so Blake texted us.

Yeah. Saturday. And if I am to look at my Jake and Blake text thread. Which is a rarity. I don't text you guys very often. Well, I mean, it's often very show related. Blake texted us and it says, could you imagine if they killed him? This was Saturday at 546.

That is honestly how I found out about this. Well, I thought, is he talking about, we had been on a text thread earlier that week, and it was about, like, you were texting about some guy who had a snake at his house or something, and I was like, is he talking, are we going back to the snake talk? And then Jake said, I can imagine it. They can't imagine it.

And I thought, you know what? Now I don't think I should jump in. I was going to jump in and go, what is this referring to? Is it the snake? And then so a couple hours go by. And I wasn't really locked into Twitter, I guess. That was probably around Saturday dinner time. Hours go by, and I wasn't really locked into Twitter, I guess. That was probably around Saturday dinner time.

So now we're having dinner, and we're watching a previously, you know, a show that has not been released in a decade or something. You know, that's the way we watch our TV. So now I didn't know until that night kind of when I just, I'm going to fire up my phone, let's take a look at Twitter, and I'm like, oh, Blake was texting that Trump was shot. And then, of course, following it all on Twitter is an interesting ride as well in today's day and age. To, you know, speculation, who was it, this and that.

I wanted to ask you guys that when we came in today, does it feel like this should be a bigger deal than it is? And if it's not a bigger deal than it is, why? Is it because of who he is or because he was just grazed? I think part of it is just the media culture that we're in. Everything moves so fast, and you just kind of move on from things. I would be very interested to see what history books are going to look like in 2050. Because previously, there was one thing that happened per year.

Yeah. So it's like, oh, well, and this year, well, this is what happened. Yeah.

Or maybe they still boil it down to, cause things just get lost over time. Exactly. That's, that's kind of what I'm saying. Yeah. I think if he had like taken a bullet and lived and had to get surgery and big emergency situation, I think it would be a much bigger deal than getting grazed in the ear.

The crazy part about that is you're one inch away from that becoming the biggest story in the last 100 years of American history. biggest story in the last 100 years of American history. But since I... Well, I'm just trying to see if that's hyperbole. A little bit, maybe. You know, Kennedy was a pretty big deal. Yeah, but I mean, right now, though,

like a guy who's running for president a second time after he's already been president and everything feels like this... Now we'd be arguing over little things. ...tender box, tempestuous situation Now we'd be arguing over little things. Tender box. Tempestuous situation. It would be up there. Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm following it online and now I'm like, oh, okay. Somebody's saying, oh, no, it doesn't. It was glass. Yeah. They shot the teleprompter. And it was glass that hit him and cut him. And then it's... Okay, so... Will we ever know?

I will tell you this. As I showed my mom this, and I told you this this morning, she immediately was like, this is fake. Now, is she pro-Trump or anti? I would say she's pro-conservative, anti-Trump.

Okay. And there's a lot of people like that that will still vote for Trump, though. I don't think she would vote for Trump, but I understand what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. But I think she is a religious person who shares a lot of the values of the Republican Party, who also hates him. Yeah, okay. But I showed it to her last night, and she's like, that's not real.

I mean, it looks. The second I showed it to her, I'm like, Mom, what are you saying? That was the initial conjecture that was all over the social media sites pretty much immediately after it happened. And I don't, maybe tell the family of the fireman that died

that it wasn't real that it was fake or the two other people who got wounded like seriously wounded or yeah this was put on by Trump hey shoot my ear

that's a pretty big risk shoot my ear Jesus can you be the greatest marksman of all time despite the fact that we've now heard reports that he was kicked out of his rifle club in high school

because he was such a terrible marksman? The 20-year-old? Yeah. I don't know. I just think people's brains are just so cooked. Yeah. And it's, you know, obviously there are people that would be yelling

that a whole school shooting was all faked somehow, and there was actors. Like, let me just say, it's the greatest live production ever if that was somehow faked because it looks like a Hollywood production. Like, is that real? Like, did he really then just pump his fist and the flag is behind him? And it's like, this is a campaign photo for sure. I mean, the first thing you must have thought is, well, there is the next president.

There's just no way around that. Unless Biden somehow skydives without a parachute. And I don't know what he, like, it's kind of like if Biden can walk up the stairs without, you know, tripping, then we're going to be like,

yes. Oh yes. There's, there's, there's his thing. He didn't fall off a bike. Yeah. He,

he rode 10 whole feet. I, I, I, I don't know what else to say about it other than, I mean, obviously, I can't stand the guy. I can't stand his politics. But that was like the most baller thing I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah, it was like badass. Have you seen some of the memes? Fight. Fight? Fight. As he just gets clipped in public with an AR-15. Guys who used to be Secret Service guys are people like, no way, if it was real, you don't let him expose his body then after that.

There could be another shooter. How do you know there's not another, blah, blah, blah. He's a big dude. I mean, that was the problem with the female Secret Service, right? She only came up to his nipple. How are you going to protect him if you're that short? Beautiful nipple. It was badass, though.

That was great. Part of the conspiracy theories is also that they had secured a number of rooftops around there. Right. Except for that one. Well, and did you see the video where people saw him crawling on there? Yes. You could see him. Except for that one. Well, and did you see the video where people saw him crawling on there? Yes. You could see him.

There's that guy. And he's like pointing. They're like, hey, there's a guy with a rifle right there. Yeah. And it was clearly not a uniformed guy. How did that happen? What I understand is the perimeter

that he fell outside of the Secret Service perimeter and anything beyond that was supposed to be local police. Yeah. And they are the ones. And of course, you're going to get a lot of pass the buck and not my fault after something like this. I'm also not like, I'm not taking shots at local police, but those people are not the Secret Service. Yeah. They're not used to this.

They're not trained in that way. They're going to have some gaps in their coverage, but at the same time, it was a pretty small area. I'll tell you, the Secret Service isn't perfect. No. We forget that, wasn't Gerald Ford shot twice? Isn't that? Is that true? I don't know i i think there

was an attempt on gerald ford's life two times yeah i guess the only thing i would think about that is reagan was shot it is a bygone era like the the despite the fact that there are more school shootings there yeah yeah it's just because you think they've kind of eliminated the possibility that you could get a rifle into somewhere that close. Yeah, and I think also those people, like their tactical presence is highly, highly increased from what it was 30, 40 years ago. I mean, on one hand, you have like tracking your phone,

tracking the internet, all that sort of stuff. But I also just think, you know, I mean, the Secret Service used to smoke cigarettes. Okay. Now they're, like, trained killers. So I don't think this is, like, because I've seen a lot of like talk about that of like, is this going to become like a common thing?

I don't think it will. I don't think so either, but I do think the story is that it's not the big story that we think it should be. Yeah, I agree. Like you're not really, you didn't wake up thinking about it.

Like, I can't believe, you know, it's, it's just kind of like, and it's probably part of it is who he is because something different is happening with him every five minutes. Yeah. And like now it's like, okay, it's this thing. Yeah.

Okay, it's this thing. Oh, he got shot. It's like, even though it's a much bigger thing, there's always something. And it's just weird. Yes, like you said, too. If he had a bullet embedded in him that they had to get out. But, you know, you haven't really heard much follow-up on it either.

I mean, all of the, yeah, other than the cool fist in the air picture, all the other still photographs, it's kind of you equate it to like when Fabio got hit by a bird on the road. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We were kind of reacting the same way. An inordinate amount of blood.

It's like, oh, okay. I think the Fabio thing had more lifespan. Maybe. More legs. Yeah, like you were talking about that for weeks. Do you have any interest in the story of the guy,

the shooter? I mean, there's going to obviously peel back all the layers of, of who he was and how he got to be who he is. And even those things, as far as politicizing this, which is those gears started spinning immediately. Yeah.

There, there's a confliction in that that he was a registered republican but he also donated 15 to a democratic progressive organization i guess yeah like activate blue or something like that yeah so you don't really know where he falls and what will end up happening. The truth, I think the truth will be that this was just a very troubled person seeking attention. This wasn't about any real. But as are all of these shootings. He wasn't some real political operative.

Most of the shootings are that. Most of them. Most all of them. Yeah, but, you know, had this been a Hispanic guy, an illegal or whatever, that would be blown to giant proportions. Or a proven hardcore left-leaning, left-wing type person that was on an operative mission

to take out, this is the only way we can keep this guy out of office. They're thinking that that was what his line of thinking was. But now it's like, well, there's a kind of dichotomy within his identity and what he actually stood for. And he was probably just crazy. Like the guy that went to baseball practice, Dan. Yeah.

What about the thought that it could be an inside job somehow within our government? Yeah, I don't know. I mean, like I said, don't you – Who would even think that – you know what? I think I'll go to a rally and I'll be able to find an open building that I can climb up on. Like, I don't know. Especially if it's an inside operative, you're going to hire a 20-year-old with zero military experience. I would not think so.

Yeah, that doesn't seem like a great idea. Using a rifle that's probably at that distance... That is not an accurate rifle for me. Yeah, it's not designed for that type of accuracy. No, that is a close-range rifle. I'm shocked. If that was, in fact, the bullet that clipped the Don's ear,

pretty damn accurate. Pretty accurate, honestly. That's a. 308 job. You see the diagrams. If Trump had not looked right the second before, it hits him in the head, and he's dead. I can't wait to see all of the scientific post-event trajectory analysis and all of that.

That's going to be interesting. Where was the sniper that got him, the Secret Service sniper? Where was he positioned? I'm curious to know all about that. That's going to be interesting. Where was the sniper that got him? The Secret Service sniper? Where was he positioned? I'm curious to know all about that. What's that? There's an alternate angle. You can see the sniper behind him. Right before Trump gets shot, he's like,

we got to take this shot. It's a crazy timeline. He takes three seconds, which I heard everybody getting on this guy about it. In reality, you have to be positive what you're doing before you fire that shot. Yeah.

I understand that it's like... You might need approval, too. You might need approval. You might need someone in your ear to tell you, like, squeeze it. But it took about three seconds, and in those three seconds, the funniest thing that's ever happened in my life happened, and then a guy got his head popped.

God, Twitter's such a bad place after stuff like this. Oh, my gosh. Bad? I think it's the best for comedy. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I I guess, but the first tweet I read after the shooting was, they've identified the shooter. He's Tim Hardaway Jr. Just a little bit off in the finals, so 0 for 10.

Just right there. What a different world we live in. A former president. There was an assassination attempt. The future informer. Somehow able to make it about the finals. But also, it used to be taboo. THJ jokes.

But Jake, you'd get in trouble for making a joke about 9-11 two days after 9-11. And now you're two minutes after. Yeah. I will say this, though though we're getting the skits up and the skits yeah did you see the uh black twitter the black people yeah like the they did a recreation of it it's incredible it was out immediately ketchup skit yeah within an hour it seemed like well of me discovering it. Within a couple hours. Sorry. I will say, though, I do think that it's still the case that you can get in trouble if you pop off on the internet. Oh, from wherever you can get in trouble from. Yeah. Well...

Not just as a human, though. I don't just mean, like, your job. I mean, like, the government. Oh, really? Okay. I think you should not make jokes about this. That's my PSA today. All right, well.

Despite the fact that- I say do what you want. I think you can be satirical about it, Jake. I think you can use satire, but you can't endorse it or say- Yeah, I think- I don't want to say it. There are probably going to be some people that regret tweets or Facebook posts or Instagram posts that they've made over the last couple days. Did you see Biden had a speech and he said, we should solve our problems at the battle box?

With battle bots? I think it was with battle bots. I love it. Which would be great. So one of them has a saw on it. The other one has a big hammer that goes up and down. Yep. Yep.

He can't talk. All right. Well, that was pre-news. Well, I wanted to mention this. Oh. No, you're fine. It made me think about the time that TC, our friend, staunch liberal. So to TC, our friend, not TC Broadnax.

I just want to make sure you're separated. Not TC Broadnax, the former city manager. No, TC, the guy that jacks off and throws out his back. That's true. He's aforementioned. I'm not saying that Broadnax hasn't done that, but I don't know about it. We just don't know. Right.

But he did vote for- Probably has, but we don't know about it. But he did vote for Donald Trump in the Republican primary. To make him win, or to help make him win. He thought that he was a more defeatable candidate, so he registered as a Republican. Okay, so it is done. Brilliant.

My point is just that this does happen. Okay. And if TC ends up in the news, then this is probably going to be something that they mention. And he is the kind of guy that would register and then donate merely $15. And also miss. So both things that he did, right,

three things that he did all really were pretty meaningless. Or, you know, perhaps if indeed that was his goal, was to the rise of the Democrats, he did the exact opposite. Yeah. In some universe, we could have had Trump assassinated and Biden killed by COVID, and we'd really be screwed.

Or better off, who knows. Anyway, heavy on the video this week as our Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday episodes were on video. So check them out this weekend if you missed them during the week. On Thursday in our new studio, we had on Dallas Cowboys all-pro kicker Brandon Aubrey.

Again, not going to play the full hour and 15 minutes, so it's going to skip around just a bit. But here's the best of Brandon Aubrey in the Dumb Zone from July 18th. What was going through your head when you missed your first ever NFL kick because it was an extra point yeah it was an extra point um I just wasn't mentally locked into the game at that point um and kind of rushed out there so this the backstory um I had the opening kickoff the Giants are driving they get to about the 20-yard line, our 20-yard line. They stall.

They're sending out Graham Gonneau for a field goal, and it gets blocked. I'm sitting there just watching. I'm like, oh, this is going to be my first field goal to see on the field. I want to sit here and actually pay attention and watch and see what he does. So I have my cup of water, my helmet's on the bench, and I'm watching. It gets blocked. We run it back for a touchdown, and I'm like, oh, that means I got to go out there. So I threw my water down, grabbed my helmet and sprinted on the field and just kind of

rushed through my process. Didn't really go through the process. Cause in the back of my head, I'm thinking, okay, I only have 35 seconds. I spent 10 of them messing around getting on the field. So I got, I got a rush. So I got rushed and got set, but then the referee reset the play clock. Like he's supposed to, I'm just sitting there waiting for all the celebrations to end everyone get off the field i'm just sitting there staring at the ball like in my ready to go so i wasn't i just wasn't ready um i had never seen that situation before and um instead of like sitting there thinking oh that sucks like i can't miss again i'm gonna lose my job i just kind of with bones who sat me down and be like okay you weren't ready for that uh let's talk through a process if that happens again what it looks like and what you need to be doing and don't put your

helmet down on the sideline so uh luckily we got a pick six that game maybe like three drives later and same situation i was ready to go and we put it through so learning learning situation um just wanted to sit there and process what went wrong and how to fix it as opposed to like focusing on what happens if i miss another one or whatever so it wasn't like you were saying thinking in that 30 seconds while you're waiting for the celebrate you weren't like this is my first ever kick no no okay it's just there's a rhythm to kicking field goals i'm running out to the field i have my process uh you think like i said you have a full play clock so we kind of know around like five to ten seconds is when the ball is going to be snapped and when i'm going to kick but um on extra points that timing can get a

little funky so for me it's honestly a little bit harder getting the timing right on extra points because you never know how intense people are going to celebrate or if the referee is going to some refs will reset the play clock if the celebration is taking a little bit long some will just let it run and if they're still on the field you got to start your process and i would imagine especially if it's like a sudden change yes type of touchdown not like just a regular drive right included yes not only isn't me it's the punter long sna snapper, offensive line. They're not on the field. Because when we score on offense, the offensive line's out there, but you have the offensive line running on, you have our defense running off,

and guys staying on the field, really celebrating. So some refs will reset the play clock. Some will just let it run. So if it goes down, you'll see a lot of delay of games. Not a lot, but a few delay of games on extra points on sudden change just because the kicker is like, I don't have time so we're going to take it five yards back, which is maybe what I should have done on that first one. I'm sure they would have loved that.

Yeah, right? First to wrap, takes the delay of game. If you still miss it, they're like, what is this kid doing? Have you ever had one where you had to, because you'll see occasionally in the NFL, the clock is running out out we spike the ball but now there's 10 not you run out there and they barely pick the mayday those are very rare

there was two of them in the season of the whole nfl last year that i can remember both of them were the broncos in the same game and um he made one and missed one i believe um but yeah i haven't had one but we practice it every week. Um, and that, that is just going out there being an athlete. You don't get a chance to take your steps. You just really look at the ball, feel like you're in the right spot and then go. How do you simulate game, uh, conditions in practice? That is hard. You really can't. Um, the closest I get is the live reps with the team in practice? That is hard. You really can't. The closest I get is the live reps with the team in practice on Tuesday or on Wednesday.

One of the days. It all runs together. Right. The whole team is there watching you and you hit six or seven field goals in a row and that really simulates the pressure but you can't really simulate the whole game like that. It's really tough especially when you're on your own you can put as much pressure on yourself to make every kick as you as you think you can but it just it won't simulate a game rep there's no um there's no replicating that do they have we seen this sound at training camp sometimes like they will all the players will get around and everybody and they're screaming at you and just trying to throw you off your game. Do they do that?

They do mojo moments out there. Love a good mojo. That's right. So what's that? It's just coach plays one of the game theme songs and then everyone's supposed to run to the field he's at and he just announces what the situation is and what we have to do so like a lot of it'll be red zone offense versus defense ones versus ones or um made a field goal

like the one you're talking about you just sprint on the um on the field and kick one real quick with a running play clock or like it's a 20 seconds we have to go 40 yards and score a touchdown to win the game so it's just like a a moment where instead of being on two fields split apart, doing your drills, everyone's there watching. The music's playing. Usually the fans are into it pretty good. So those are the high-stress moments he's trying to create to replicate the games.

So unlike that first extra point miss where you were kind of caught off guard, if they are driving end of the half, end of the game, whatever, are you over on the sideline kicking into that net? Yeah, absolutely. On offense, I'm catching snaps from Trent, the long snapper, when we're on our half of the field. He likes to get three punt snaps. And then after that, bangers punting into the net

until we get to about 50 yard line um we get into field goal range then i'll start hitting into the net on third down or second down depending on how fast or like what the situation is if it's like we need to hurry i'll hit on second down one into the uprights and be ready watching third down and if it's kind of just like the beginning of the core first quarter beginning of the third quarter no real tempo to it i'll hit one um after second down right as the third down play call is looking like they're going to go so i'll hit one then and then watch the the play and run out was there a tough place to kick last year yeah um san fran philly uh washington buffalo were all pretty tough.

Just the conditions of the field, the wind in those stadiums kind of whips through, which is why I like kicking here. We've got a nice dome, eliminate that. And Oxnard's tough too. Oxnard's tough. You don't really feel it on the field, but above the tree line, you get that ocean breeze that pushes in. It's a little trickier than you think because even below the tree line,

it's like a stadium. It makes it kind of like a bowl. The ball is traveling one way with the wind and then above the tree line, it might be a different way. There's no flags above the tree line to judge that, so you just got to go out there and practice and kind of hope you don't hit a gust

or see what it looks like before you go out for period. Or that you get fired. Yeah, I imagine that's frustrating because that's your your tryout yeah probably the toughest condition you've had oh and they're good about that they know um and i had another kicker there to compare against and i i did better than him every day uh just slightly better than him and then started getting more and more better and they released him and you know at that time I thought it was it was pretty early in training camps before the first um before the first preseason game so I thought they might be bringing in a veteran to really secure the the

kicking position and really have a competition um carry out through the whole training camp but they brought me into the office after they released tristan and said we're gonna go with you we want you to have every opportunity to um get opportunities in game so we're gonna bring you you're gonna be the only kicker for training camp if you do well it's your job if not and we're gonna bring somebody else in but you you are the guy was this coach mccarthy or jerry or steven it was bones Okay. Interactions with Jerry, they've been fun? Yeah. So the first time I talked to him was at Oxnard. It was going into our first mojo moment, which actually came before our first field goal period

because Bones was trying to give us some time to work with our operations and kind of get the snap hold kick all worked out before going into field goal period. But Mike wanted to have a mojo moment for kickers. It was like 50 – it was long balls. So that came before the first field goal period. And Jerry, as we were walking out there for the mojo moment, stopped us both and said, hey, there's a lot of guys watching you. Don't fuck this up.

But he was joking he he laughed it off after giving us a straight face for like three seconds said no we brought you in here we have a picture of that moment it's really great like laughing you know so hard and brandon's looking at him like oh my gosh Now this off season two, you got the key to the city of Plano. Yeah. What does that even mean? It means I can open any door in the city of Plano. I always thought it meant like any vending machine. Did you ever hear about having a skeleton key? Like a janitor?

As a kid, that was like the big thing. For sure. I'd love to have a skeleton key. I could open anything. I could get a Snickers or a Coke. It doesn't matter. I had very low aspirations as a kid. Yeah, well, that's awesome.

That's the only one you didn't get. Yeah, yeah. You got your workbench. I got a workbench, and I have a fireplace. Those are the things I want to grow. There's his key. Yeah. Okay.

Look at that. Giant skull key. Mr. Plano. Yeah. They named a day after me in the city of Plano. When is that? Free sandwiches that day? Like May something?

Yeah. It was May something. May 22nd, maybe? Now, is it every May 22nd, or just that? Just the 2024th. Oh. Oh. Or 2024.

Did you guys like the eclipse? Loved it, actually. Should I answer that seriously? Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I did. I thought it was really good. You know this idiot left town?

It was lame. Where'd you go? He doesn't know it was lame. You weren't here. It was awesome. I saw pictures and videos We were here We did a live stream

It's not the same Brain tell me what it was like When it was dark for three minutes It was incredible He's underselling it Was that awesome It was dark and slightly cooler What a dick

It's cool It was like November and April It was cooler Wasn't it amazing What if it would have happened During a kick Like the temperature went down Oh yeah

It was cool What was the question It happened during a kick Yeah It happened during a kick? The temperature went down like 10. Oh, yeah. It was cool. What was the question? It happened during a kick? Yeah. It happened during a kick. You would have had to. Good thing we're inside. You would have had to use VR to prepare or something.

You are inside, but does that sun ever get in your eyes? We do a good job of picking the side that it won't. Okay. But sometimes, yeah. job of picking the side that it won't um okay but sometimes yeah it's it's usually fairly like close into the end zone by the time uh the second half rolls around so no i haven't had one where it really affected me okay and if you did you're not allowed to say that because i haven't i've not been instructed the word is is that Jerry won't put up curtains cause it looks cool or something. I don't know.

Right. Every year there's, there's always fans concerned about that. I don't think this is going anywhere either. We use it as an advantage cause we're, we're used to it. Right. Yeah.

And there you go. I'm trying to help you when, when the media starts grilling you after one of those games. The light ever does get in your eyes. Oh, the sun was in my eyes. Sorry. Next one. You can't say that.

Brian Anger could hit that scoreboard every time if he wanted, right? Absolutely. That must be a weird scene. Yeah. So a lot of the punters that are younger, haven't really been in a stadium like that, come out in warm-ups and try and blast them straight up into the scoreboard and i just think it's bad practice for them to get out of their habits of picking out their corners and um really hitting like the a nice average between hang time

and distance so like banger doesn't try and do it but he could do it whenever he wanted what's the farthest kick like in practice not, but with the regular steps. For a field goal? Yeah. We call that a field goal. Do I have wind at my back? Boy, now you're going to add all these caveats to my, what seemed to be a simple question.

Let's say indoors. Indoors? The air conditioning is behind you. The air conditioning is behind me. Is it a game or is it just practice? Because I get a little juice in game. No, not in the game. No, no, no.

When you're practicing. You practice probably like 70 yards. 70 yards. What did you try against New England? New England? It was like right before half, right? Yeah. They didn't.

No? They sent me out for 66, but somebody jumped offside or false started. Someone false started, moved us back five yards, and then we didn't try it from 71. You would have liked to. I don't think so. I mean, at that time, I had the streak going. I hadn't missed it. Oh, that's right.

It's like a baseball player that doesn't want to play when he's hitting 400 or 300 or something. What's the longest you have you have kicked with like a running start like a kickoff start i don't even measure that is it's out the back or it's not out the back so i mean i put a few through the uprights throughout the season usually if we're at&t hit one or two a game through through the uprights um and how long is that 75 75 yards to the upright and then like probably like goes like, 83 yards if I had to guess. Okay.

I don't want him to kick me in the balls anymore. Yeah. Are you watching Hard Knocks? Not yet. Saving it for training camp. Okay. The off-season one with the Giants? Yeah.

Yeah, I've been just watching that. I've seen a lot of clips about Saquon Barkley and whatnot. That's really the main stuff. Yeah. Or at least I've only watched the first couple episodes. I think there's three. And it is pretty fascinating. Yeah, I just started watching that receiver show.

What do you think of that? I think it's awesome. I love the insight into people's preparation. You get to see five of the best receivers in the league and what they do and how they maintain their game. So I love watching that stuff. I've seen the clip of, like, is it Devontae Adams complaining about his quarterback?

Yeah, I feel bad for him. Garoppolo? Mm-hmm. He's like, damn, he can't get me the ball. You ever hear any of that on the sideline? Not with the Cowboys, of course. No, no. The other sideline all the time.

Yeah, everybody's very happy. any of that on the sideline? Not with the Cowboys. No, no. The other sideline all the time. Very happy. All right, man. Well, it's great having you in studio. We appreciate you coming. I know you were going to hang out for the first half of the show, and I think we're about there. But we'll run into you again, hopefully

at training camp. And I guess if we don't, we're driving. We're driving. You're driving? In an RV. Oh, my gosh. That sounds like a brutal time. Yeah, it certainly does. Good luck.

Thank you. But it's what we got to do year one, you know? Sometimes you got to sit in the back with the practice squad players. Yeah. You know, the Cowboys have a media plane. Maybe you guys can get on that. Yeah. They're letting us be there.

Yeah. And that's pretty much what we're going to accept. And if we don't see you, then I guess it's good because we got Colton. Yeah. On the way, right? Absolutely. Hopefully he stays put where he's supposed to until the 12th. My wife would complain.

Well, she only complained when one person did this. And it was my mom. But my mom just felt it was okay to put her hand on her belly yeah that's not a that's not good and my wife uh did not like that at all is that something that you've had happen to you uh not really i mean i've had it happen like once or twice but for the most part people are pretty good about asking first and then do they they have the funny... So you weren't upset when I did it earlier? When I first saw you? Does everybody have the funny quip?

Like, they feel the kicking? Oh yeah, they always say, he's a kicker, isn't he? You're like, yeah, that's a good one. So original. Yeah, that's a good one. Alright, man. Brian,. All right, man. Brian, or excuse me.

Oh, come on. I was thinking of Banger. I can get Brian on. Brandon Aubrey, thanks for joining us. Jen, thanks. The Blooms, thank you. And yeah, we'll do this again sometime soon. Absolutely.

Thanks for having us. Great dude. Brandon Aubrey, who we hope to catch up with at camp here in a few weeks, where we do have a tentative plan for the road trip, if you're thinking about meeting us along the way. Planning on stopping in Albuquerque on Sunday night, the 4th of August, stopping the next night in Flagstaff, and finally pulling into Oxnard Tuesday night, the 6th,

ready for camp. For those interested in meeting us along the way or in California, hit us up, thedumbzoneatgmail.com. One final segment here in this week's wrap-up, which is a news and today in history combo, from our Wednesday episode with Danny and 690's Chad and Tuxedo John. Here's Jay with the Dumb Zone News.

So WFAA has obtained exclusive, as they call it, footage showing the moment that an explosion happened at the Sandman Hotel in Fort Worth. This story just kind of came and went. We just can't do bed. Just turn it off. It story just kind of came and went. We just can't do bed. Should I just turn it off? It's just going to sound shitty. I'll turn it off. Okay.

The dumb zone news. Are we over? Oh, no. We are not. No. Okay. You can do the news without a bed. That was such a wild story that, I mean, it could have been so much worse, man.

It could have been so much worse. And I still don't know the legal ramifications of what's going to happen to Tom Ghilardi, the Star's owner who owns that chain of hotels. My cousin works there, or did work there, and was there the night before. I was there about a week before. And then just a gas leak occurs, and this old building. That's the thing, is like, everybody wants to restore these old buildings and be like, hey, isn't this like a vintage look?

Isn't this cool? And you're like, yeah, but there's a reason why we build new buildings. The infrastructure is messed up? Yeah. And I think they had had multiple reports about people smelling gas. There's a reason why we build new buildings. The infrastructure is messed up? Yeah. And I think they had had multiple reports about people smelling gas the day before and that day. And then it exploded and collapsed. And the video footage is insane.

So this is new? WFA just got the footage this morning. What perspective? Aerial. Okay. Yeah. Like, it looks like hundreds of people should have died. Were there fatalities? I don't believe so.

I think there were just some injuries. This is like, okay, so when I say aerial, I mean it's above the lobby. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, so you can see here. Like security footage. Yeah. But like the above security footage. Shit. Yeah. So you can see like the entire... What the hell?

Yeah. Entire floor caves out. Wild. Because it was a very interesting building because it was built into an old bank. So the restaurant there was actually downstairs,

underground. And they had like a vault which you could go... You could reserve the vault and go eat there. So when the lobby caved in, it caved in on the restaurant. So in the event that this would have happened

at night, it would have... It would have crushed on the restaurant. So in the event that this would have happened at night, it would have crushed all those people down there. Except the people in the vault. Which you can see in this video now. I think the vault was probably safe. I think the lack of death is probably going to help Gilardi skate because he'll be able to blame inspectors and renovation crews and foremen on something being missed.

That's probably true. I wonder about it with, like, employees, though, because I know a bunch of them immediately filed suit. We'll settle. How long ago was that? Six, eight months? Yeah, about that. How are they

just now getting this? Do they just keep asking? Yeah, maybe it's a public records request. I'm not entirely sure. Maybe with all the Hooters exploding. There's a rash of people obtaining videos of high-end restaurant explosions. There was an execution last night in Texas that was halted by the Texas Supreme Court 20 minutes before the lethal

injection was administered. That's almost meaner than just carrying it out. Yeah, you probably kind of had made peace with it. Yeah, you're like, okay, it's happening. It's 20 minutes away. I already had my steak dinner. My Brahms, my steak. I already threw out my old porn collection.

I already threw out my porn collection. Exactly. Oh my gosh, yeah. 20 minutes. You probably cleaned your cell out. I mean, if you're being executed, they're going to look at the porn collection and be like, yeah, no big deal. Yeah. Yeah, they're always really cool to

people on death row. That's nothing. So it's a guy who was convicted of a 1998 home robbery where an 85 year old woman was killed he is uh maintained the entire time that dna evidence would prove that it wasn't you know he was not involved and i guess in a very weird turn of events the the Texas Supreme Court actually was like, yeah, we should stop this. In the fourth quarter. Is that your biggest fear? Being blamed for something you didn't

do? Oh, no, it's people thinking you're crazy when you're not. Yeah, like, I've told this story before, but there was a This American Life episode about a guy who got locked up in England. I think it was a place

called Broadmoor. And his family committed him. And he couldn't convince the people there that he was not crazy. But they thought he was. But he clearly wasn't. Because what would a crazy person say? I'm not crazy.

Yeah, the first So he was there for like? I'm not crazy. Yeah, the first step is to get it. So he was there for like 40 years. Good God. Yeah, something like that. And they're like, oh, yeah, I'm sure, dude. And that's 40 years of probably being unnecessarily medicated and just gaslighted into probably believing you're crazy. Of course.

And probably not great living conditions. You know? No semblance of family or intimacy or anything like that. You're just, like... Get three hots and a cot, though. Don't you become crazy? That's an Uncle Dan moment right there. Say that again?

You become crazy because they're giving you all this medication and stuff. Yeah, yeah. No, I think that's what Danny's saying, is that eventually you become what people are telling you that you are. That's a dad thing. Three hots and a cot. For sure. It's the brighter side of prison.

You ever heard it? Yeah, of course. I ain't scared of prison. I eat three hots and a cot. Then you get to lift weights and stuff. Get in good shape. Yeah. Free sex. Yeah, I was going to say weights and stuff. Getting in good shape. Yeah, and... Pre-sex.

Yeah, I was going to say, and apparently, at least in the UK, you get to have sex with the guards. We never talked about that video. That turned out to be fake. Fake? Yeah. Ball sack.

Turns out that was a fake. What? Write it down, Blake. Jake just got ball sacked again. Yeah, that was released... I even know that. Those two put out videos. Yeah, that was released. I even know that. Those two put out videos. The dude that was smoking a blunt next to them having sex, right?

That video? In the prison? Yeah, that was fake. Damn it. Yeah, the prison guard and that guy, they put out videos. That's their bit. Sorry, Jake. I really hate when this happens to you.

He's already worn that video out. I was going to say, I have so many memories. This is a beaten man who hasn't had Pornhub in three months, and he's trying to find any material he can. You know, back in the day, I probably was ball sacked by Milf Hunter. I was like, oh. He must be really hunting then. I thought it was insane.

He just met her at like a Home Depot. He's so good at tracking. And now they're at home. Hey, look, they're at a trinket store in Orlando. Yeah, it was amazing.

Like, he actually just met these two girls and then all of a sudden he's back at home with them. So lucky their kids aren't with them. And then it took me like a couple years later

I saw one of those ladies in like another video. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. I saw one of those ladies in like another video. I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. You saw where she started. You thought this video was real? Come on, dude. This one?

Bro. Bro. Come on. The initial video was done really, really well. And like you've seen these videos of guys who are in prison who have amenities that you didn't know that they could have, right? Whether it's a phone. Or a hot lady. Or a hot baby.

Two flashlights. Damn. This is a tough one for me. I'm not going to lie to you. Moment of silence for Jake. for me. I'm not going to lie to you. Moment of silence for Jake. Uh,

Paul. Yeah, I don't know what to say right now. How are you going to recover? There were a couple moments I think your dog just farted. There were a couple moments where I was like, man, they've been doing this a long time. So you did question it a little bit.

Not enough. But deep down, you were like, no. It's like Santa Claus. He knew it wasn't really an issue. I wanted to believe it. That's it. He's trying to believe. It's Schrodinger's cat.

If I don't look any further. Schrodinger's dong. We can cut that one, right? Nope. Nope. Nope. Cut anything. All my shit stays in, so does yours, buddy.

It felt good coming out, though. It sure did. Always does. The guys are going to die on this one. Were you guys aware that DISD had a barber academy? No. That's pretty cool. Yeah.

Well, it was. Oh. Did it blow up, too? It did not blow up, and nobody had sex with a barber there in a fake video. But it did close down. It had been operating on Main Street in Deep Ellum. And it closed down yesterday. Why come?

Money. Oh, really? Yeah. But it is kind of a cool thing. Like, you think about STEM and, like, preparing people for other types of jobs. Like, got to learn how to be a barber. Was this part of the uh what do they call those

like outreach uh uplift what are those schools called that are all over i think they're closing that one if they haven't already in deep lm on elm street i'm not sure i mean this is sort of what my the guy who used to be my agent did um with his like outreach program is what they would do is like basically kids would go live there during the week and they would provide them like job training and if their parents couldn't necessarily be involved in their life from a day-to-day basis because parents had to work and then they would i think go home on the weekend but they would teach them skills like this. You know, regular stuff.

There's times where I look back on my life and I think, I should have just learned to weld. Oh, yeah. Or be a mechanic or something. I'm not sure that I'm cut out for it, necessarily. You let your kid go to that guy's house, though? It's kind of strange.

The outreach person that's housing children? So it's not like a guy's house. It's like an actual facility. And they have trained educators there and trained caretakers. Donovan was super involved in it. I think he still is. You ever hear about people getting their hair cut at the barber school or the beauty school?

I did it many times. Real cheap haircut, right? Yeah, yeah. For me, it was free. It would be free? Yeah. Because they just wanted the kids to practice? My girlfriend in high school, who was then my ex-girlfriend, she went to, what do they call it?

Cosmetology. Cosmetology. Cosmetology school. Yeah, and she would cut my hair for free. Did it for probably a year and a half. Like at home or in the salon? No, no, no. I would go to whatever it was called.

Yeah. So it wasn't because you were the boyfriend? Like they cut anybody's hair for free? I mean, you probably had to like know the person. Okay, because I thought they offered him for like a heavily discounted. I mean, I would tip. Because you know you might get... Killed?

Yeah, you might just get a bad haircut, but you know, you can't afford a big salon or whatever. But also, I just thought I wanted her cutting my hair. I thought she knew what I was looking for, you know? What kind of tip did you give her? Just. Hell yeah. Thanks, brother. Sex. you know what kind of tip did you give her just hell yeah thanks brother sex no i mean it was it was decent you know but uh there's not that many other professions where they let you get away with it's not like you can be like hey i'm training to be a surgeon do you want me to take a fly on this one yeah come over i'll give you a vasectomy at my house.

25% of the normal vasectomy cost. I told you about... Did I ever publicly say that I got a trainee putting the thing in my wiener? What did they call that? The catheter.

We call them transvestites. No, no, no. The catheter. Yeah, and they were horrible at it. No, you did not publicly tell this And I've never mentioned it because I didn't know That you wanted to publicly talk about it

Oh is that not on the air? Why'd you get cathed bro? So some time ago I had a This is going to be awesome Some kind of a problem Whatever a little medical problem And I had to spend the night in the hotel Or in the hospital

And I wasn't allowed to eat or drink because they were going to do some tests on me in the morning and when I it was the morning and they they wanted me to uh go to the bathroom and because before they whatever they had to have urine sample and I couldn't. I don't know. I guess because they wouldn't allow, I mean, I was thirsty all night. And they wouldn't allow me to have a drink. Because that might mess up the whatever.

I don't know. They're doctors. I'm just like, whatever. You know, I can't argue with them. So now it's the morning, the nurse, and it's like 5 a.m. or something. Hey, will you do this? Gotta do this. Tried to do it.

Couldn't do it. She comes back and she goes, okay, we might have to put a catheter in you. And I'm like, what is that? She explained. I was like, oh, okay. Well, can I try it again? Well, my shift is over at like 7 or whatever.

And we need to do this before 7 because then the other doctor is going to get in and they have to whatever. Yeah, because she's got bar trivia. I don't know what she's doing. They had to have it done because the doctor was then the real guy was coming in.

Okay, all right. And so now she's out of there and I mean, like, I was having such trouble. I just, now it's in my head and it's stage fright

times a million and I got the little whatever thing. You're trying to go to the bathroom in while you're sitting on the side of the bed and i just couldn't do it bedpan or something is that it yeah maybe so i couldn't do it and like in fact um like my blood pressure thing started going way up because i'm trying so hard like i mean my heart's pumping because i'm and then she's like look you're to have to just let us do this.

We need the urine sample. I'm like, all right. So now she comes in 10 minutes later with some guy. And now he's... He puts the mop down. Well, no, he's going at it and stuff. And she's like next to him. They weren't really conversing too much, and I'm just, you know, looking up, and it was like, ah!

Like it hurt. Jesus. And I thought it just normally hurt, and she's like, oops. Oh, no. The literal last thing you want to hear. From any medical professional. Right. And then she starts talking to him. She's like, no, no, no. Here's thing you want to hear. From any medical professional. Right. And then she starts talking to him.

She's like, no, no, no. Here's what you want to do. And then she kind of starts talking through it. And it was evident that this was the first time he had ever done this. What the fuck? So, yes. There has to be training. And then there was just a little would be a drop of blood

for the next... Train on a rubber dick, not you. Well, maybe they did. I don't believe it. But there always has to be a first person. Everybody's got to go to the regular season at one point. He has a first brain surgery.

Yeah. I just imagine like jamming the straw trying to get the paper sleeve off in the fast food restaurant. That's kind of like... Yeah, that's what you're doing. So did she get it in? Oh, then it was fine. It doesn't hurt, right?

It's weird. If there's already a cut there, then it does kind of hurt. Yeah, of course. Because I remember I had to get a catheter. It was a small cut, but all you need is a small cut. But you bled, didn't you? Back surgery. Yeah, there'd be a little blood and cut. But you bled, didn't you? Back surgery. Yeah, there'd be a little

blood and everything. But they did that when I was already under. But the thing was in when I was awake and I remember being so terrified knowing that they were

going to have to remove this thing. It felt good. Like, I enjoyed it. There was a sense of pleasure in having the catheter removed. Because it's a tube that goes all the way up in your bladder, and you just feel it slide out, and it's like...

Dan, it's kind of fun. I don't recall that. Well, yours was all butchered by me. There was a scab on it. Scab? God. That's a bottom five word. There's your news. The Dumb Zone News.

Do you have the music? Bring it down. Or the analytical skills. Want to see if my music works here? Hold on. Do you want me to just do it? You have Today in History open? It'll load.

The Dumb Zone presents Today in History. I appreciate your courage, by the way. We've never talked about that. I feel like I have, but I've wanted to talk about it many times. I must have told the story to enough people that I thought we did talk about it.

I tell that at parties now. Yeah. I got a scab on my... Hey, Dan's got a funny story. Yeah, I got a scab on my... Hey, Dan's got a funny story. Today is Tuesday, July 17th. Wait. It's Wednesday, isn't it?

But you had the date right. Okay, I must not have changed the... For some people, it's Thursday. Well, why are you here? You're supposed to be here on a Friday. For others, it's Thursday. Well, why are you here? You're supposed to be here on a Friday. For others, it's Tuesday. This is Wednesday. Tomorrow's my Friday.

What a treat. Anyway. What a surprise. Let's see. On this day in 1914, Giants outfielder Red Murray was knocked unconscious by lightning after catching a fly ball that ended a 21-inning victory over Pittsburgh. Incredible. They won 3-1.

He is uninjured. Babe Adams was the pitcher for Pittsburgh back then. Pitched all 21 innings. Dude. That's no Paul Skeens right there. Without a walk. There's no way that's true. That is the longest non-walk game in Major League history.

I feel like he got through five or six and the umpire was like, fuck it. It's like I'm not calling another ball in this game. And it still didn't work. It's like the umpire naked gun. On this day in 1978, Doc Medick of the Rangers helped save the life of a 61-year-old fan who suffered a heart attack just before a game at Baltimore. Oh, I can relate. Medick. a game at Baltimore. I can relate. Medic. Heart attack, man.

I can relate. Who was a medical student. Interesting. And his last name is Medic. Doc Medic. Yeah. Administered heart massage until help arrived. Hey, nobody massaged me. On this day in 1981...

Do you feel like that's an advanced form of care for cardiac arrest? Heart massage? Just heart massage. I'll just rub on it. You've got to get the happy ending. See, I'm a doctor. Hey, I'm in med school. I'm a medic.

On this day in 1981, 114 people were killed when a pair of suspended walkways above the lobby of the Kansas City Hyatt Regency Hotel collapsed during a tea dance. What is that? I don't know. That's what I took away from this, too, this morning. I was like, where was the pole? What's a T-dance? I was going to say, I have a guess, but none of them involved 114 people being lethally...

We all remember where we were. This is one of those moments like, perhaps if you're really old, the Kennedy assassination. For me as a kid, I would say the Space Shuttle Challenger. Others might say 9-11.

This is probably going to be like when Ryan Dunn died or something. Ryan Dunn, 100%. Tea dances are events organized on Sunday afternoons in the U.S. gay community. They were a place for singles to meet. The name alludes to traditional tea dances of the English countryside. That does sound really gay. So does the story say, but they were just gay people? It doesn't, but you can tack that on.

Okay, we all remember where we were when? Dallas Wings center Liz Cambridge broke the WNBA single game record for points scored. Hell yeah. In a 104-87 win against the New York Liberty in Arlington. How many points did Liz Cambridge... Cambridge? How many points did she score in that game? I'm going to try to give a realistic answer.

I know I've been the funny guy or whatever. Right, right, right. I'm going to say 34. 50-7. Because if they got to 102, she didn't have 9.

So you think 34 was the highest scoring output in like 30 year history? I don't know. Has the WNBA been? No. Anyway, it was 53.

I'm going to say 33. Wow. That's impressive. 53 points. Especially since, if I understand it, they don't have a three point line. I don't know if that's actually true.

I don't know either. They probably do. Of course they do. Oh, they do? I just don't know the rules really at all. I know they made women's basketball in college play half-court until like 50 years ago. Do you think Kaitlyn Clark is shooting logo shots just for the fun of it? You know, we can get the ball closer. It's all the same. I've heard recently they've discussed the fun of it. We can get the ball closer.

It's all the same. I've heard recently they've discussed the possibility of adding the four-point. That's right. Especially given the influx of hotter women in the league. Are you sure about that? On this day in...

Come on, man. You've got to keep up. A couple of weddings on this date. 1954. Comedian Groucho Marx. He's 63. Not a chance. Less...

How old was Eden Hartford? Less points than I guessed on Liz Cambridge. He's 63. She's 24. Whoa. Why are you surprised by that? I was just thinking 30. It was the 50s, dude.

So is this just an American bit? Because on this day in 1990, Palestinian leader Yasser Arafat at 56 gets married to Suha Tawil. She is 15. No, no. 53.

4. She's 27. Oh, okay. I thought you misled me a little bit with the is this just an American bit. I'm saying, is it? The answer is no. Apparently not.

This is a universal bit. We can all join together in loving to bang young chicks. I will not join in that. The world all together. If we had some illusions or something about the fact that for most of history, people have been trying to have sex with people 50 years younger than them as males.

Yeah. I couldn't get past the fact that I have generational gap. We can't make the same inside jokes about Rocco's modern life or something like that. What, have you tried? No, I couldn't do it. No. Because of that fact. You know? That's why.

The only reason why. Because you love talking about Nick at night or whatever. It's true, though. After you're done. That's a single anecdote. It's really more like the liminal in-between spaces where you have to fill time by referencing something. I don't want to hang out with their dumb young friends. Yeah, you do.

Do things. Have you guys never seen the You Don't Want to Be Out Here thread? I think it was when Del Curry and Steph Curry's mom got divorced. This guy had a long thread of like, You don't want to be out here. It's different now. Oh, Del didn't want to be out here. It's different now. Odell didn't want to. He's all afraid of the world he stepped into.

It's like, look, they're going to make you go to yoga. Well, you don't. You're probably going to have to eat sand or something at some point. You don't want to be out here. How many food pictures can you take? Yeah. Well, you're right on the friends aspect. Because every once in a while,

the younger girl that's way mature and evolved beyond her years, that's the anomaly. Because she's got ten friends that are idiots. And you have to go meet them. Yeah, I don't want to be out there. What about meeting her dad? Yeah. What if you're meeting a dude your age? That's cool. Or younger than you.

Younger than you. That's the holy grail, right, Dan? Yeah. The dad who's younger than you? Isn't that what we're all shooting for? Come on. Dude, you want to go smoke a ball? I'm about to Bone your daughter

And it's like Your daughter's friend Yeah Josh Hamilton Josh Hamilton's mom Yeah Birthdays today Former star

Louis Erickson Is 39 I was a fan. Yeah. My wife was a big fan. Is he Sagan trade? No, I don't think. Maybe you're right.

I thought that sounds right. Okay. I thought they played together. Matt Perk is 34. The Rangers first round draft pick in 2009 that ended up. My dad worked with his dad. Going back to the draft, right? He was a Boris guy, and he never panned out, but he...

You were correct. Did he ever get his money? Nah, I don't think so. I think he went back the next year, and by that point, his value had sort of tanked. He ended up with the Fort Worth Cats or something? Yeah, and I think he got hurt or something like that. But yeah, his dad was super, super involved in it. And yeah, he worked with my dad.

Mason Rudolph is 29. Dan. He was taught a lesson by Miles Garrett. Oklahoma State. Derrick Henry is 30. What could have been? Thought he was coming, huh? Bought a house in Dallas.

Where is he now? Baltimore. Huh. Scott Norwood is 64. We got Zeke. I've left. Vern Lundquist is 84. Name him Vern.

Did he just retire? I like him. I always heard he was a really great dude. Yeah. Vern Lundquist is 84. Name him Vern. Did he just retire recently? I always heard he was a really great dude. He looks jolly. Impossible to be called jolly if you're skinny. Good point. It looks like you would want to call him ruddy-faced.

Yeah. I don't even know what that means, but it looks like he fits that. I want to ride on his back. But happy birthday to him, for sure. Luke Bryan is 48. Jake. Again, it's Zach Bryan. My bad.

I'm not a fan of Luke Bryan. I never have been. I don't intend to be. David Hasselhoff is 72. Good. Good. One of the funniest videos I've ever seen in my life. That's the way you eat a hamburger.

Hell yeah. I'm pretty sure it was like from Wendy's. In-N-Out? He had the young wife. Oh, yeah. He was in-N-Out all the time. He was in studio with us. Oh, yeah.

That's right. That's the only thing I out all the time. He was in studio with us. Oh yeah, that's right. That's the only thing I remember about that interview. He said it's great, it's like hanging out with your daughter except you have sex with her. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Then we high-fived. The funniest part about that video, I think

one of the most beaten looks you can ever possibly have is jeans, no belt, no shoes or socks, and no shirt. Eating a floor burger. Just your belly. Somehow it's even worse because it's on carpet. Like if it were on linoleum or hardwood. And the way he's pawing at it. He can barely support his own weight.

The meat with just the square of cheese slightly adhered to it. Oh, he drops it. You know barely support his own weight. the meat with just the square of cheese slightly adhered to it gets, oh, he drops it. You know it's dripping off the top of his head. I know that carpet's a mess.

We've all effing been there, too. I just didn't have my kid filming it. Recording you and posting it. Usually you're over

a sink like a rat. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Camilla Parker Bowles is 77. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. Camilla Parker Bowles is 77. Man. Root.

She's the queen of England. Yeah, but... She's a root. He had his eyes set on her for a long time. That dude must have been blind. Robert Romanis is 68. Blake? Mm-mm.

You know who he is. I got nothing. That's Damone from Fast Times. Oh! Andre Royo is 56. He wrote for the Chicago Sun-Times, I think. A famous columnist. So you're going with Mike Royko for Andre Royo?

No, that's Bubz from The Wire. Bubz. That's right. Poor Bubz. Marina Oswald is 83. Still with us. Can you believe it? Actually, I didn't look it up this morning. But I think she probably is.

I don't think she lives here anymore. Didn't Bubz actually have AIDS? Yeah. No, wait, wait. No, he got the test back and he was okay. Waylon had AIDS. Ah, taking character acting. Yeah.

But he was actually one of the only characters on that show that found redemption. Cory Cotton is 37. Oh, his brother, Kobe, is 37 as well. Oh, jeez. Oh, his brother Kobe is 37 as well. Oh, geez. Oh, Mike. Uh-oh. Grounding out to end All-Star Games. Or Celebrity Softball All-Star Games.

How's your boys' obsession with Dude Perfect these days? Those two are from Dude Perfect. The twins. Obvi. Have slowly phased out Dude Perfect. I just want to be super clear about something since we've been talking about kids today. His son watches Dude Perfect and goes to gymnastics.

Mine watches Trash Trucks. I'd like to see those two together, though. Because they're both little maniacs. I would love that. Brooks is not on Carter's level, I don't think. What do you mean? Kid fights? No, I think Carter's energy is...

He is the maniac. In my experience of being around Brooks, he does have a very sweet side to him. Carter breaks stuff. He's Little Blake, man. Yeah. He looks... He loses episodes and...

He seems stoic. He puts some boppers on those kids. Doesn't get too high, too low. 100%. And mine is Little Me. Let's get all the boys together in a room and just see what happens. I would love that. Throw a gun in there.

Oh, my God. Go on. Just, my God. Go on. Just see what happens. Born on this day, now dead, Rosa Lumpkin. She died in 1991. She was born in 1876. Damn, wow. They say that she was 115 years old.

Are we buying 1876 birth records? Man, anything within like a 15 year period of the Civil War. And given the name, it was probably some lump had a kid, so we named it Lumpkin. Is that where Blumpkin came from? It might be.

And Gordon Gould, he invented the laser. Okay. It's generic. Which is an acronym? Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah, but I can't remember right now. Self-contained underwater breathing.

Laser. Laser. Did you guys have, like, for Dan and for Danny, did you guys have, like, a laser Danny, did you guys have a laser pointer era? Or was that after you? I remember the era. I mean, it was a big thing for me. Because it got banned.

Oh, yeah. People were trying to... Shine them at airplanes. Shine them at movies and stuff. Shine them at people's eyes whenever they were driving. Yeah, kind of like in the auditorium at school or something. Yeah. Put one on somebody up on stage.

Yeah, and you would hear like a... Big trouble for that. Yeah, you would hear a story about a kid of like, dude, he brought down a Delta flight. It was all bullshit, right? Of course it was. Of course it was. Why did they ban it?

I heard Sully had to fight through that. But, you know, I think there was even like a point where the NFL actually had to deal with this a little bit, right? Were people training them on players from the stands? Yeah. Kickers. Which that makes a little more sense than I just brought down a 747 or whatever. Died on this day. We have Dorothy Dix. Died on this day in 1887.

She created the first mental asylums. I'm sure those were very caring and kind. Give them a lobotomy. A lot of talk therapy. So all these loonies were running around. I was like, what do we do with them? A lot of role playing, probably.

I hate that we lost the word loony. Tycob. Modoc the elephant died on this day in 1975. He was a doctor.

The oldest known non-human mammal died at the age of 78. The oldest known non-human doctor. Now are we

believing that? There's no way. Was it an elephant? Yeah. Mammal. I feel like, don't whales live at least that long sometimes? Yeah, but they're not documented. They're undocumented. Yeah, how would you know? They're just flooding the borders. Undocumented.

They're all rapists and murderers too. Sitting as I was. But like turtles live to be over 100. That's not a mammal though. I know. Stealing their black whale jobs. Yeah. And Walter Cronkite

died on this day as well. Was he a good person? I think so. I think he'd be on my Griffey list. And that was Today in History. I don't recall

ever hearing any Me Too stuff. I was just thinking about it the other day. John Wayne-ish type. You trying to kimp spin Walter Cronkite? No, I'm not. It was just, I was just thinking about it the other day. You trying to Kemp spin Walter Crosby? No, I'm not. It was just,

we were talking about Johnny Carson the other day and it made me just think about like, there's nobody who watched Johnny Carson and was like, this guy's a wife beater. Right.

Like I watched him growing up and was like, this is my America's Dad comic. Yes. And then you find out that he was just like, another guy. Yeah, but most of America's Dads were smacking their then you find out that he was just like another guy.

Yeah, but most of America's dads were smacking their ladies around too. That's true, yeah. That's a very good point. Bill and Johnny. They got a little lippy. Yeah, yeah. Lippy.

All right, that'll do it for this week. Coming up on the show next week, Jake will be out Tuesday, so it'll be a Danny and Lawrence Rosales combo covering Leather Jacket Jake. Business Wednesday will be back in its normal spot next week, and then we'll have a special show for you Thursday, recapping

the best moments from our first year in the Dumb Zone. Best segments, best guests, clips, drops, and a look back at some of the first episodes to see how far Dan and Jake have come. And then we're microwaving a CD on Friday. Fun week next week, and then we'll wrap it all up again next Saturday.

I really do appreciate you listening to this. Enjoy NCAA this weekend, my bros. We'll talk soon. Thank you.