The Dumb Zone FREE - The Dumb Zone 8-1-24

Episode Date: August 1, 2024

Hear every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to our Patreon - Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneIn today's episode, Dan, Jake, and Blake dive into a mix of humor, controversy, and unique insights. We kick things off with a hilarious and awkward interview with former President Donald Trump at the National Association of Black Journalists conference. Then, we explore the bizarre world of the "Human Centipede" trilogy with a detailed review that will leave you both horrified and amused. We also touch on some local Texas news involving unethical adoption practices and a Ponzi scheme targeting senior citizens. Don’t miss this rollercoaster of an episode! (00:00) - Open (19:56) - Sports: Cowboys, Olympics (01:00:20) - Viewer Mail (01:18:16) - Eden reviews the Human Centipede trilogy (02:00:39) - News (02:26:24) - Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm Dan McDowell, long-time professional broadcaster. Why subscribe to our Patreon podcast? Well, perhaps you support our struggle to get out from under the oppressive thumb of a man. Or, objectively, if you sign up at patreon.com slash the dumb zone, you will get the two episodes per week that are available on all podcast platforms, like this one, plus an additional two episodes each week that are exclusive to Patreon. So subscribing on Patreon gets you four episodes per week.

Oh my, what a bargain. Now, on to today's program. The Dunza, Dunza, Dunza. Gold medals in skeet shooting. I got a couple of me's gold medals in skeet shooting, but not that kind of skeeting. But I do skeet, skeet. Okay, you say. Oh, skeet, skeet, motherfucker.

You say. I've never heard that before. Oh, yeah? That's why they heard that last Olympics and were like, we should get this guy on more. Dude, it is so much more. It's the Snoop Olympics. It's every night.

I saw him fencing. Yeah, he fenced last night. He swam with Phelps. Oh, he swam? Yeah, he swam with Phelps. Oh, he swam? Yeah, he swam with Phelps. Two potheads. That's honestly exactly what I said to my wife when we watched it. I was like, they definitely burned together.

What happened to Sha'Carri... Richardson? Is that the person that they suspended for the pot? Yes. For herb? For a little herb? I'm Dan McDowell. I'm Jake Kemp.

I'm Blake Jones. This is the Dumb Zone. Business. Show number 209. 209er. Think. You guys don't even care, so I'm not going to look into it. Nope.

We are broadcasting from high atop my garage today. It's August 1st. Do we have a monthly business review today? Today, no. Tomorrow, perhaps. Is that okay in the world of business? Well, I think the record would reflect that we've done it on the first fewer times than we've done it not on the first. I'm just asking now about the world of business.

We're coming off of Business Wednesday. Yeah. So I got a lot of terms in my head. You're going to optimize? Are we in Q4? No. Dude, I hate business. I can't tell you how much I hate just talking.

Some of my friends in the group chat give me shit for not working on Wednesdays. And I'm like, I would do anything to replace this with a show. I was more tired yesterday. And I didn't leave my house. You were in your little Nintendo chair all day. He was all dark. I just wish you would call it Xbox instead of Nintendo. That'll get him to change.

You got something against the Japanese? No, we've just updated since then. You can call it the PlayStation chair if you want. The PSC? No. PlayStation chair? No, we got it. The no is for him.

You're on some sort of weird letter-based marketing thing right now, and I'm just going to let you do it. You'll run out of steam. That's why I know. That's why I'm not going to stop it. Were you wondering why Blake looked like he was using that chair, not just for gaming yesterday? Maybe for a little...

I don't know. He might have had his VPN fired up because I noticed we were taking the day off. Blake mandated we take off the Bobby Althoff's birthday. Okay, that was a private conversation. I'm really, really glad this is not being put on me. Right. No, you know he's stoked on Bobby Althoff and that fake. Oh, no.

No. The fake porn. Clearly fake. Wait, what? So we're broadcasting from high atop my garage. That means we have a sit-in. Like if we don't have a sit-in, for instance, tomorrow, the sit-in bailed for some reason. Instead of had enough.

So we said, all right, well, look how mobile we are. We'll go down to our Dallas studio. We'll do the show there. So look forward to that tomorrow. That's a tease. But we have a sit-in. His name is Nico. Hi, guys.

Nico. Hi, Nico. That's a cool name. What's your real first name? Nicholas. I would go Nico. Hi guys. Nico. Hi Nico. That's a cool name. What's your real first name? Nicholas. I would go Nico. That's a cool. It's like the Spanish version of Nick. Last name? Pizzarello. Pizzarello. That one's cooler than the first name for sure. Don't you think that's an awesome name? Your name is Nico Pizzarello? My name is Nico Pizzarello. Really a fake name. Central Casting? What work are you in? It's amazing. AV. Okay. That's not as cool. I don't own a pizza place,

unfortunately. I mean, you should. I really should. I feel like with that name, you either have to be in the Italian restaurant industry or be an arms dealer. Nico Pizzarello. Did you ever get called

the pizza man? All the time. Still do. I love that. There was a dude on my football team that our receivers coach called the pizza man. Now, his name had nothing to do with pizza. He was just an Italian guy? No.

He always delivered. Ah. Okay. All right. Wasn't racist at all then? No. He was just a good player. Yeah.

We also have Robert here. You see Robert back there and we got a microphone sitting in the back. Robert, not worthy of applause apparently. Nope. Definitely not. Along with his friend, Dustin. Friend, right?

Yes. You're not like partners? You don't cohabitate? Yeah, we don't talk about that. Okay, all right. And why is he here? Did you say it's his birthday? It is his birthday. It is my birthday.

Here, a little applause. Look at that. It is my Jeff Heath birthday. 38? All right. Okay. Now, Robert is here because last week, if you recall, we did a video bit. Or was that even this week?

I don't know. It all runs together. It was last week because then my wife wanted to use the chainsaw over the weekend. And she comes in. She's all mad. And so this was our latest argument is, why did you break the chainsaw? And I'm like, that's not the correct phrasing of the question. Um,

like I didn't, it's like how maybe, and I mean, I wasn't excited to answer that because it was, well, I gave it to Jake cause I got fired up cause he was going to chainsaw a microwave. Yeah.

And so that wasn't much of a better answer, but she said, why? And then I got to deflect that into, hey, let's argue now about your phrasing here of this. Solid move. Yeah. Like the kick save. And I'm like, why? You think I did this intentionally?

I would perish. Do you think it'd be fun to be married to Dan Blake? No, because I know it's not fun being married to me. I mean, I'd do the same thing to my wife. You could do whatever you want, though. You want to go off for a week with the girls? I don't care. Yeah, but you want to lob grenades my way?

Oh, yeah. Fight's on. Why don't you tell her to hop back on that lawnmower and pipe down? So Robert emailed after hearing about the wife and the sitch. He said, on the epi Monday, you mentioned how Jake intentionally broke your chainsaw. I want to offer a brand new best in industry battery chainsaw. Are we talking like JD Power and Associates? For free. So he's speaking our language here.

Pro bono. Yeah. Not sure if you've replaced yours already, but I have a new Makita chainsaw, if you would like. And then he put a little link to makitatools.com and the products and all that kind of stuff. And that's Robert. Now, it says here, you're sales development manager. Are you working for Makita? Yes, I am.

Okay. So you got this stuff all over your house. Yep, for the last 12 years. Okay. Do they have, like, all lawn care and all that kind of stuff? We do. We do have the biggest selection of OPE. So the same battery will fit the?

Yes, sir. 350 tools. 350 tools. Okay. I was just thinking about, like, an edger, maybe a trimmer, and now you're up in the game. Yes, sir. It's funny to think about because if you remember,

we went to that guy that was in a similar position with Hershey's, and he had every type of candy, and he had them in boxes. And he's like, yeah, when people come over, I'll just let them take whatever they want, you know, like in his office. And then he has just weed eaters. Like his kids' friends come over and they're like, you want a chainsaw? Yeah. Another guy had like nerd ropes. Yeah.

Not as cool maybe, but I mean more practical. More practical, way better. I would rather have the chainsaw than. Sure. We're still working on those Reese's Animal Crackers. Those evaporated at my house. That is an innovation that I did not see coming. Yeah, it's a slow burn.

That's American-made, baby. Yeah. Well, thanks, Robert. And for all your electric tool needs, we're going to send you over to see Robert. He's in sales. It says here, fire rescue services. What does that mean?

I actually cover the fire rescue industry for Makita in the U.S. I primarily call on fire departments and work with firemen, emergency personnel. They use electric chainsaws now to get out of... It is a battery revolution going on, Dan. Do they have an electric

jaws of life? They do. Actually, those are called e-draulics. I like it. That's a battery revolution going on, Dan. Do they have like an electric Jaws of Life? They do. Actually, those are called e-draulics. I like it. That's a solid marketing move. Okay. It makes sense. You know, if you think about how far electric, if you can have an electric F-150,

that you would be able to get the same power out of an electric chainsaw or et cetera, you know, the gas-powered used to be. Are you drinking a cold brew of black? I was. I'm spitting in it now because of my bad habit. He's the manliest man I think I've ever seen. Yeah.

He's got boots downstairs. He sells chainsaws. He dips and spits. Yeah. Got a nice-looking beard. They also, these two guys, pursuant to something we've talked about in the last month, coach travel baseball. Damn.

Yeah. You just check every box. Yeah. There's got to be something. Then there's us. There's got to be something we could find. I went to a violin concert. So I heard.

Sounded cool. I'm having people teach me how to throw a baseball. With my lack of manliness. On today's program, we do have some sports. We have some Cowboys. We have Olympic Jake. Remember, it used to be Olympic Dan. Now Jake is so stoked on the Olympics.

Get out of here, old man. I thought about, I might do this. Would you guys want me to play for our break today? And then you don't want to take part in it, but it's a four-minute break. It's Marty B's Black Olympics. Why not? Like the original.

If you don't want to listen to it, skip it. Yeah. So we'll have that. I'm promoting that. And, of course, it ends when he's on the medal stand in an act of defiance and protest when he lights on fire an American flag. That's right.

No, that's his brother did that. His brother did that. And then I want to promote coming up after the break. I want to put your guys, your broadcasting skills to the test because I have not prepped you for this. So you need to adapt on the fly.

You're going to have to just use, again, reach down into the skills that maybe you haven't dusted off in a while, but just to be able to do something you're not prepared for. We're going to do a movie review and in the den will be my daughter, live in person. Oh no. Your mortal enemy. The person you fear the most, Blake. Oh no. I'm not far behind.

The person you fear interacting with the most. Why is he doing this? I don't know. I feel like if we had HR, I'd call him right now. She was up here yesterday and I was talking about let's review Human Centipede. God bless it. And then decided let's just do it live. We can outvote him. He's too powerful. I mean, if you don't want her up here, if you don't want something that people might want to listen to, that's fine. That's all right. I mean, I guess

we'll just go with your idea. I wish I would have dressed differently. Of bumping the MBR. I mean, I guess we'll just go with your idea. I wish I would have dressed differently. Of bumping the MBR. Anyway, that's after the break today. Don't let it get in your heads. You guys are pros. You guys should be able to team up and destroy her. As I've told you, it's scary enough having her up here,

but I have time and time again reiterated that I want us to just have an indefinite moratorium on anything related to human centipede. Dating back probably seven, eight years now. Well, she's seen the trilogy. Yeah. And she's going to break it down for us. She was on with us on the old radio show. Remember when the Try Guys were in the news? Mm-hmm. Because one of them loved his wife, but then was unfaithful or was flirting or

something. Yeah. Anyway, she's heavily online, so she can update us on what's going on online. I'm going to beat her down so bad with kid terms. I'm breaking out Brett. so bad with kid terms. I'm breaking out Brett. Hey, man. Just do your thing. It's funny.

Gotta go down swinging, Blake. Lucky that it's not this week. Gear up. Because this was like last week. I wrote this note down, but I got thinking about it when we were going to book her for today and I was backdating. Like, okay, everything's cool, I think.

You can only know this if you have a house full of girls. I think, Robert, you just have boys, so you don't get this. You married Nico? Yeah. Okay. One three-year-old boy. Three-year-old boy? Yeah.

So you won't really get this either. I like what you did there. You let him say it. Yeah. Keep going, keep going. Yeah, that's nice. But if you have a house full of girls, and especially girls that grow up more than, you know,

three years old, five years old, it's very comical to watch a fight develop. When the fight started with, so it was just a regular conversation but it was with one of the girls against the other girl was how come there are no tampons in the house because I have to rush to

target and it was just a it was all cordial everything was cordial and then it just like escalated real quickly and they're like really bickering. And I'm thinking, do they not know? Don't they see why this fight occurred? I'm putting it all together.

You're saying, if you need a tampon, then it's obviously that time. And the thought is that the arguments happen more in that time. And then I'm watching it unfold. It's like a nature documentary. It's amazing. Yeah, I could see that. And I'm just out.

And then, of course, when one storms off, then I got the older one. I'm talking about my wife and my daughter. The older one, which is my wife, you would hope, upset that I didn't jump in the fray to defend her point of view. I don't know. It's like – but you don't know how many times over my life I've walked into a room where something's happening. I have no idea what's happening.

And then I get in trouble for not – because we have to show United Front on these things. I'm like, I'm Switzerland, baby. But a lot of times I'll be like, I don't know, I think the daughter has a point here. And then if I even intimate that. No, no. Also, I feel like the answer to why are there no tampons in the house is pretty simple.

It's like, because one of us used all of them. Right. I don't know. Well, then it's upset about Why are there no backups? You know, you got to get a backup for the backup, Blake. Are we recording? Double, triple recording? Oh, yeah. Okay.

Yeah. So anyway, I didn't know if Nico would be happy or not that he's going to get to be a part of his sit-in is going to be with the daughter. Maybe not. I'm not sure yet. Maybe you don't care.

I'm not sure. Yeah. I mean, sometimes you might book a sit-in, and all of a sudden Brandon Aubrey is sitting next to you. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Sometimes it'll be a girl talking about human centipedes. It's a wide range. Yeah.

And then I have one note regarding our trip. We're going on a trip. Going on a trip on a little rocket ship. No, no, no, no, no. Little Einstein. So we're going to California on the DZRV. We're leaving on Sunday. I went to my trainer, Max, and he said, he's like, do you still have those bands?

Like, I bought these, what do you call them, resistance bands? Probably. Probably. It depends on what you're talking about. Are they big or are they small like you would put them around your ankles? They're a variety of sizes. You could do curls with them? Yes.

Okay. There's one that big, but then there's a couple that are, you know. It's like I bought a pack of 10 different sizes years ago, but I've only used one of them ever. Yeah, that happens a lot. And he goes, you still got those? Hey, bring them on your trip. I'll give you a workout that you can use those.

And I'm like, oh, cool. And he goes, and then I joked about doing the chappy method. I said, Jake said he was going to bring some kettlebells and we might stop for a roadside workout. He goes, FaceTime me, man. I got something for you guys. I'll put something together for you guys to do real quick. He's so cool.

He is very cool. So I thought if we do have internet capability, let's do it. Okay. Yeah, I have two. Let's record that on the road. So we'll have a kettlebell. I got my resistance bands. I'm sure Rob and the driver will love us.

We got to stay in shape, bros. Even if you can get what is called a micro workout, Dan. Yeah. Just grab a little 15 minutes while we're getting gas or something. How about a little walk? Why not? I mean, isn't walking good for you? I'm trying to walk every morning.

Yeah. I'm steps man now, dude. I know. Do you know I'm neighborhood walk guy now? Yeah. Like every morning. I was on the phone with you guys this morning getting my, just a little 1500, a little dusting.

This is the most old man. Unbelievable. Once you view walking as exercise, it's really trouble. He puts out the neighborhood sign, too, at Christmas. Yeah, that's true, too. You are the neighborhood old man. I am. That's tough.

I'm the guy that will stop, if I see you washing your car. I'll be like, hey, can I drop her off? Yeah, I love that. All right. Well, if you guys don't have anything else, it's time for... You want to do sports? Yes. Oh, yeah, I like that.

So we'll do some Cowboys and Olympics. Neither one of them too terribly interested in right now until we get to camp. But there's a couple things I heard from current or current that then became former and are now current Cowboys, and then another former Cowboy, current Jet, Tyron Smith. So I've been seeing videos out there, and one of them in particular was from John Machada. And it was from the day of the first padded practice, which was that yesterday or Tuesday? It was this week.

And based on my three or four times out there, there appeared to be less than half of the amount of people that I would normally see in the stands. I mean, normally those stands are full. Yes. And not only are the stands full, the opposite side of the field where there aren't bleachers, those would be three or four deep. Yes. Where people are yelling, you know's there's there's like psychopaths there would be tons of people over there there's almost no one over there and the stands are pretty sparsely populated which may mean it'll be easier for us to get audio because as during the walk-off usually guys just go right over to the fence and start signing stuff and you're kind of like waiting

so um i've seen a bunch of videos that looked weird to me, and then I heard this from Zeke. And I think his first camp interview since being back. He's on the field. It's kind of a gangbang situation. Did it feel the same coming out here the first time? What was it like compared to what you remember all those years that you came out here in your first time with the Cowboys? First of all, I got to tell you, he's a cartoon character to me.

I think he's much blind because of his contract, but I really miss the Zeke. Like, that's a classic Zeke drop right there. All those years that you came out here, and your first time with the Cowboys? I mean, it seemed like it was a little bit less people than the last couple times I've been out here. But, I mean, yeah, felt the same. You said less fans? Look here.

And then Zeke just kind of shook his head. So we got the clearance follow-up, and he's like, uh, yeah, it appears like not a lot of fans here. That's certainly not what the Cowboys want to hear. No. And then I saw a very brief clip of Tyron Smith talking to the Jets website. It looked like it was like a Jets podcast or something on the team site. And he said something that piqued my interest and my attention,

so I went and found the full clip. This is from about a month ago. But, yeah, it kind of goes in with what Zeke said. So we got to come full circle here. You're a Jet. You come in East. You were in Dallas for 13 years. You grew up in California.

You went to SC. What do you think the match, not just here in the organization, but you coming to New York because everything that you're about is putting a hard hat on and going to work yeah and this is what the city was built on yeah yeah um no you guys you know spill something great here um try forgot to answer the question but like um yeah it's with any kind of football team it's you said, it's putting the hard hat on. For me, it's just different. For me, you know, being in Dallas for so long and, you know,

coming to the East Coast and being a part of a team, you know, for me it was just like, you know, forget them, you know. You got the Giants over there, you know. But it kind of shows you a different mindset, you know. You got the Giants over there, you know. But it kind of shows you a different mindset, you know, when you come here. And as far as, like, you can tell the city is backing this team. Yeah. And you can tell this, you know, everybody around here is excited for what we can do. So you could read between the lines and hear him say that, you know,

out there the fans are ride or die. The city backs the team. And he said it's different in that way. He was also swerving all over the place. Because it's a weird question. It's not a weird question. It's just a hard question to answer. Well, I don't think it was a question.

He also tried to paint New York City to be like Pittsburgh or Green Bay. Or even Philadelphia. Just the whole hard hat. I don't know. That's not what I first think of with New York City for sure. No, but I do think of it as – okay, there's a difference between like Manhattan and what you think of as like the gritty, hard-nosed, blue-collar part of New York City. Yeah, the unique guy.

Because Dallas doesn't really have any of that. Yeah, no. What this is to me is it's the annual former cowboy. Read between the lines of what they say, and now we're evaluating. This one is the city kind of and the fans. Other times it will be the focus on football. Cole Beasley did focus on football when he went to Buffalo. Hell, Zeke might have.

I don't know. Yeah, there was another one recently too, I swear. Yeah, but they leave here and it's, you know, man, you just get here and it's weird. You go to camp and it's all about like practice. It was Dalton Schultz, remember? Ah, yeah. Dalton Schultz was like, yeah, you'd be working out and they're just walking people through.

It kind of felt like you were in a zoo. People just walk through to the practice field. They walk through the weight room. They're looking through glass. That was another one. You're right now that you say that. It does happen every year. Yeah.

Yeah. So, I don't know. It's really tough for me to gauge how this year is different than other ones because every time I do, I think I'm being really myopic. You know, the whole this is the craziest offseason or the craziest camp ever. I think I've said that five times, and it can't all be the case. It can't – you know, when they got smashed by the 49ers the first time,

I remember thinking no one's going to care about this at all until they're back in the playoffs. Everybody was so beaten that year. Like nobody's going to care about the team and the season? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're right. We're going to be right back in it, aren't we?

For sure. It's also pretty rare, though, that you have a situation where your head coach and your quarterback are both on the last year of their deal for a good team. Bad teams have that happen. Good teams don't have that happen very often. It definitely doesn't happen to the Cowboys. That's

weird. And you know the fact that... I wonder what they're going to do with Dak, man. Just because usually there's more smoke with the, it's going to get done, it's this and that. Even like the CD smoke the other day. That feels like it's going to get done sooner.

Yeah. But the Dak thing, I wonder if they're letting him play it out and go, dude. Yeah, I mean, if they let him get to the market, he's only going to be more expensive. Obviously, Trey Lance can't win the backup. Dude, Trey Lance looks terrible. And I know it's just training camp

clips, but... It's hard to tell. It's not like Dak looked great that first year, but it's not good. Wouldn't you think by now, if you're the number two overall draft pick, three? Two. I feel like it was three, but I could be wrong. I think I say two all the time two overall draft pick, three? Two. I feel like it was three, but I could be wrong. I think I say two all the time, and then you correct me to three. Either way.

Let's settle this once and for all. There's no way to find out. That's the answer. The point is, it's really disturbing that he couldn't elevate to be the number two by the end of last year. Now, Cooper Rush knows the offense. When he did fill in, he was 3-1 or 4-1. So it's like, okay.

Kind of misleading, but yes. They weren't asking him to do too much, but you're right. You know. He's a classic backup quarterback that you can kind of say, I trust you, kind of. But I would think, man, this Trey Lance is really showing us something. And, you know, I mean, Romo, undrafted, was pushing Drew Bledsoe in practice. You know, like after a while they had said, man, he's wowing us in practice.

He wows us in the preseason. Maybe that'll tell us a little more once we see some preseason games because I'm sure Trey Lance is going to play a lot. But here's the thing. Even if he does and he's good, again, there's not a single part of how they've handled this that has been correct. Because even if Trey Lance looks awesome and they're like, maybe this guy is our backup and the future starter if we can't keep Dak

because it ends up going to $70 million instead of the maybe $52 we could have got him for last year. Trey Lance won't be on a rookie deal. Even if they just bring him back for his fifth-year option. That's, what, $25 or something? $24, $25. You're not getting the benefit of having a rookie quarterback deal. And then if he's any good. In the same way that they never got it for Dak because they were still paying Romo his dead money.

And if Trey Lance is actually any good, he's going to want a new deal. Yeah. And that'll start at 50. Yeah. Or at least 40 what Daniel Jones got. Like they could get him now for 40. Trey Lance? Yeah.

Right. So I don't know. You're probably going to be decent enough this year. You're not picking in the top ten, I wouldn't think, unless there's a massive injury. So you got to go find a quarterback in the later portion of the first round, and you're just going to start there? No.

You have to give Dak whatever he wants. And you're always going to have to do that. That's why you should have just done it earlier so you didn't find yourself in this ridiculous situation where you always think you're smarter than everybody in the room. Hear me out. Shut up. What if they could get Shador Sanders around 20,

let McCarthy go, bring in Dion, Fix this culture once and for all. Yep. Zimmer's already the DC. They have a really good relationship. They are very tight. Mike Zimmer was like an analyst for Colorado for a year. Deion can fix this mess. It's not a mess.

It's a mess. They've won 36 games in three years and made the playoffs three straight seasons. People are spoiled. Man, I'd love to see Deion here. How great would that be? I think you would come. I think the only things that could make you happier are Tiger Woods coming back and winning the Masters again.

Or possibly Mike Tyson somehow knocking out a current-day boxer. Anything I dream of seems to happen. I wanted Kyrie. Or Belichick OC. No. Stop. Come on. By the way, Zach Wilson was the number two overall pick in that draft.

If you want to talk about a mess. Belichick and Saban, co-head coaches. There we go. I'm going to strangle you on that RV if you keep this up. How great would that be? You know it'd be fun. I guess. Bet you for fun?

I thought, based on some betting odds, I saw that Nick Saban was going to be the VP pick. He was at like 200 to 1. For Trump? No. Oh, for Kamala.

Yeah. Which is very funny to me. I would picture him more as a Trump guy, yeah. Which is very funny to me. I would picture him more as a Trump guy, yeah. Which is very funny to me because it's 10 different reasons it's ridiculous, the most of which is if you think Nick Saban is answering to anybody at this stage of his career, especially a woman. Who talks like she does.

It's not happening. As I was looking for that Tyron audio, though, I did find one other thing. Completely unrelated to the Cowboys, but this is just kind of cool because it's kind of the thing that you're describing, Dan, the former Cowboy talking about the team in reverse. I think we kind of at some point took for granted what Tyron Smith is, that he's just like a.0001% athlete

that's ever lived. You know, he came in the league at like 20. You know, yes, he missed a lot of time, but still, the guy's a freak show, and the Jets are finding that out. This is Brees Hall, the running back. Do you ever find yourself just watching Tyron Smith at all? Because everybody's always talking about him. Yeah, you just look at him, bro.

Yeah. Do you ever find yourself just watching Tyron Smith at all? Yeah, you just look at him, bro. You look at him like the first day I saw him, I had just walked in the locker room to grab a pair of shoes or something. I think he had just got done working out. He had his shirt off, and I was like, how is he 300-something pounds with an 8-pack? It's crazy. But he's like, seeing how big he is, how lean he is and everything, and how he still works out like a young dude, it's crazy. But he's like, seeing how big he is, how lean he is and everything, and how he still works out like a young dude, it's crazy. That Jets podcast where the other clip came from, 30 minutes, 15 minutes of it

were just about how do you do this? His hand is like a baseball mitt. Yeah, and he talked about how he grew up doing manual labor and grip became very important. And that also he said he could never gain weight. So no matter how much he ate, he just wanted to gain muscle. He couldn't gain fat. He couldn't get himself thick, thick.

So he's just like, all right, well, what if I just become the strongest person that you've ever seen and I have these giant hands? I haven't even been registering that. They're in awe of him up there. I haven't registered that as a big loss, but I probably should. Well, that's because Tyler Smith was pretty good last year. But it would be better if you had both. Well, Guyton's been good from what I hear.

You've still got two starting offensive linemen who have never played a snap in the NFL. It's fine. But it's not a mess? Maybe it is a mess. So I have a quick story on Tyron Smith if you want it. Absolutely. Yes.

Just to confirm that last bit of audio, I have seen Tyron Smith naked, and yes, he does have an eight-pack. Yeah. Did he give you lube? No. It would have been a lot easier if he did uh so his uh his rookie season every rookie that comes to the nfl they're automatically entered in the the drug testing program so i did nfl drug testing for one year or let me rephrase that i did nfl drug testing for one person then when i found out what you

actually had to do i was like no i'm, I'm done. But literally shirt off, pants off, sit there and watch the dude pee. How did you get into that? You have to watch the pee go in. You literally sit there. You stare at his wiener. Yeah, because of the wizard nader. Okay.

Baby arm holding him. You have to like take your pants entirely off. You can't just. I didn't have to, but he did. How'd you get into that? I had a buddy who was doing it. I was looking for extra money, new family. He's like, hey he did this. How'd you get into that? I had a buddy who was doing it. I was looking for extra money, new family. He's like, hey, do this.

We get paid, I can't buy you 100 bucks every test or something. Dang. Was he at your house? No, it was at his house. That's wild. Yeah, that is. Like, would you want to hire a gay dude? Would a gay dude want to apply for that?

Like, oh, this would be great. What? Like, you know, if your job was to... Watch a woman pee? No, it's the old... I'd be fired up about that. No. Yeah, I guess watching the pee is not that part.

You'd have to have certain fetishes then. Yeah, I guess there's a very narrow... I was just thinking as a kid growing up, you're like a playboy photographer. Like that's like my second thing. Baseball player, playboy photographer, if I'm saying the top three

professions that I want. Major League player, always first. Of course, you're a man of integrity. Playboy photographer, always second. Yeah, I don't know.

That is weird though. We'd heard about people, the guy who used to have to get Zeke's would always have a hard time tracking him down. You've heard that, too? Yeah. The guy either couldn't get a hold of him, or there were rumors that he was paying him.

And Tyron is the guy you watched? Yes, Tyron. And is it just you two? Yes. Well, and his girlfriend or wife at the time was there, too. Really? Yeah. So she's standing there.

She wasn't in the bathroom with us. She was just in the bathroom with him. I have to be here and you have to strip down. Pants at the ankles, no shirt. Did he know that going in or did you have to explain this to him? No, he was familiar already. Damn. Now you talk about Zeke having to be tracked down.

The worst one I ever heard of was Dez. Really have to see like obviously we know who des brian is right but you still have to see like their license photo id whatever to check them off he would never have a photo id he was always late missed he was on the drug program for from what i understand don't know can't confirm but for a couple of years, just because, not that he ever tested positive, but he just couldn't remember his ID, missed tests all the time. And you get it, that's like one strike? Yeah, you miss so many and you get added another year. That checks out, right? Yes, of course it does.

Is anybody like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that? No, of course it does. He's growing now, though. He's into crypto. He really is. Just don't ask him about it. If we're moving to Olympics, I wanted to say today Olympics is brought to us by Factor. Are you familiar with Factor meals?

I very much am. And I am very impressed. And, Blake, you've had these before, right? Oh, yeah. Like, you've had these before, right? Oh, yeah. Like, you've subscribed to this before. Uh, so right now, though, you can get 50% off your first blocks, uh, box, your block of boxes, and, uh, 20% off your next month with a code, DUMMZONE50. Wow.

Which would indicate the 50% off. Yeah. At factormeals.com. They sent us a couple of batches of these. Dude. Yeah. Why would I spend my time on the weekend now preparing my own meals? Because I'll make my own food sometimes, and it's just the same meal every day.

Factor, no prep, no no mess and it's absolutely delicious yeah they've got calorie smart protein plus keto but here's where it really helps out it helps out if you have two children who are small and if you want to try to make dinner one of you has to try to corral the kids and the thing is they're probably going to eat something different anyways so you're just having to makeral the kids. And the thing is, they're probably going to eat something different anyways. So you're just having to make that and then make that. I've done other meal prep kits before. The thing is, you still have to make it. You still have all the mess.

You still have to make it. Yeah. Dude, this is two minutes. These are better than the meal prep options that I've had before, and it's two minutes. Man, I had a couple bangers in mind. That's sun-dried tomato chicken, the queso fundido with the... Here's another thing. I've never had cauliflower rice that I liked before.

Theirs is good. It's fantastic. They have 35 different meals, more than 60 add-ons to choose from every week. You'll always have new flavors, so... I just can't tell you how happy I was with Factor Meals. FactorMeals.com Yeah, my wife was thrilled too.

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It's just nice. If you don't like the red meat, you got the shrimp and blackened salmon as well, but you got filet mignon. They got breakfast. Nutritious options. Let's see. What did I have over the weekend? I think I had one of the cavatappi. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let's see. What did I have over the weekend? I think I had one of the the cavatappi.

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Time for Jake Olympics. I did one of these yesterday that I knew was going to be used. This is thanks to Jameson. Jameson Productions. Alright. We'll close with the audio.

There are a couple of Olympic stories that I wanted you guys to be aware of. First of all, a follow-up. Apparently Chase Budinger was like the number one volleyball player in high school. Yeah, didn't pick it up late in life. No. Chase Budinger, former NBA player.

He was the co-MVP with Kevin Durant of the McDonald's All-American game in basketball. Bounced around, drafted in the second round. I don't know, seven, eight year career. Bench player. Decent career. And is now on the men's Olympic beach volleyball team. Actually saw him competing the other day. And it does make sense because he's massive.

He's huge. Tall guys are good at volleyball. But we thought it was a deal where he just decided, you know, hey, what if I... Like, Herschel Walker was not one of the best bobsled people in high school, whatever a bobsled person is called. However, because I was disappointed that that didn't fit the bill of my multi-sport athletes to get you guys excited,

I did find, let me see the guy's exact name here. I have it on this. There's a guy named Eddie Alvarez. He is an infielder in MLB. Bounced around again. He was at the Marlin for a year, the Dodgers for a couple years. I don't believe he was drafted, but he's played in a handful of major league games. Most recently was a non-roster invitee to the Red Sox in spring training. I do not believe he made the 40 man.

is from uh he is from miami son of cuban immigrants and before he before he started committing to baseball he represented the united states in the world junior short track speed skating competitions as an ice skater at the age of like 14. Is that like the Apollo Anton Ono Short Track you say? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, he won gold. The cool one. The cool speed skating.

Where they can get in big crashes. Didn't make the Olympics in 2010, but then he did, and at that point he went back to baseball in an attempt to give his knees a break after years of chronic pain. Because you don't really think about how that sort of speed skating

would just destroy your lower body, and particularly your knees. Yeah. Grew up as a competitive rollerblader, doing tricks and stuff, and some guy was like, you should try ice skating. Were you into roller blading?

Fruit booting? I thought that was your bit. Nah, bro. I roller bladed for hockey. Yeah. But, nah, I never just did it. Okay. You never just went to the park?

No. No, and I don't – we called it inline. Yeah, fruit booting. That's what the skateboarders would call the rollerbladers. Because it's gay? They didn't like that? It's open to interpretation. Yeah.

All right. But healthy. Maybe it's healthy. I thought of more of myself as an inline skater. Rollerblade, to me, implies there's a break on the back of your... You don't have that like in hockey. Okay. Roller hockey was really big here.

Really, really big here. These guys, though. That was my thing growing up. Playing roller hockey. I was on a travel team for that. Oh. Yeah. As I was telling you the other day,

one of the more competitive leagues was at Mount Asia. Do we have a film of that? That'd be great. Maybe. I don't know. As many pictures as my mom took and videos as she took of us when we were little kids, I don't know that she took many sport videos.

And that one wasn't because I sucked. I was actually very good at that. Okay, I was wondering, is it because... They just burned the tape. They had all the videos taped space saved for Joe. For Joe, yeah. Or they just taped over your stuff. We don't have a blank tape for Joe.

That's the easiest one. I'm sure he didn't score in this game either. Let's just record over that one. He fell down again. I was a very good goalie, Dan. Big. Big kid. So a couple different controversies here in, uh, the Olympics. One of them is there are two boxers, female boxers competing. Um,

one of them who won, I want to say this was today in 46 seconds. I don't know how to say her name. But I'm going to go with. Imani Khalif of Algeria. Born woman. Identifies woman. Competes in women's boxing. Not trans. But she was disqualified in 2003. After failing an unspecified. Gender eligibility test.

From the IOC. What you have here. Which we've seen in track before, not boxing, I don't think, there are some women who when they take a test, their testosterone is so high without having taken anything that they disqualify them from competing as a woman. So she hasn't failed like a drug test. And she says, I've never taken anything. This is just how I am. Yeah. She kind of looks like a man.

And that's the, I mean, I would think some men have much higher testosterone, right? Sure. Yeah. So that's just. This guy over here. Yeah. He's a real man. Sells chainsaws.

Yeah. But yeah, that's the thing is like I wonder if I would I would uh if they tested me for the Olympics could I compete as a woman my tea is so that would be awesome Mrs. Danielle McDowell what we wanted to do I wanted the box I wanted to box this lady right here. But yeah, so all the right-wing Twitter accounts are just going nuts over this. Because in particular, Imani, if that's how you say her name, she's kind of killing people. Does she look like a dude? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, pretty much. But, so your libs of TikTok and all these super super far right accounts that are really anti-trans, they're all like, this is so dangerous. You're letting a man beat up these women, and some of the women she's beating are like, I don't know about this. What's the deal? She was disqualified last year, but I guess the testing requirements are different, and some people are speculating like, oh, she failed because she has an XY chromosome

and that's indicative of a male. But she's like, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. Like, there's females on my passport, which I think it's pretty tough to fudge that. You can see her when she's a little girl. Uh-huh. And she looks like a little girl when she's five. What do they do if you're born with

both parts intersex some people are right i don't know pretty rare but it did only reason i know that uh word off the top of my head is because it came up in this story saying she's not that either oh okay like she's a woman she just beats ass just a very manly woman yeah and i would guess that a lot of the top female athletes are... Higher in testosterone? Yeah, you would guess. I don't know. Yeah.

So the woman that she fought today... That's a tough one. Straight up quit. Yeah, and see, this is the problem with getting your news from Twitter. I had no idea on the background of the story and thought, yeah, this is a trans dude or whatever. But yeah, I had no idea she was born female and all that. Yeah, and the other person I believe is Japanese. Same situation, but they haven't really commented on it at all.

What, an ass kicker? Yes. She's awesome? Yeah, and she looks like a young Asian man. Mm-hmm. Yeah. But apparently, same deal. Like, she failed the deal last year, but she's a woman.

Yeah, what do we do about all this? Yeah, I don't know. It's the... I guess it's the problem with... Well, I don't know. I was trying to think. Damn. It's the problem with just well, I don't know. I was trying to think. Damn. It's the problem with just, you know, you have a competition.

It's not the strongest person in the world. Now we have to draw some line somewhere. Yeah. We thought it would just be easy enough to say, okay, whatever you're assigned at birth, that's what you are. Well, maybe it's not that easy. Like maybe you could be too... I guess Michael Jordan's testosterone was probably

a lot higher than a lot of guys. Yeah. Not than yours. So the other controversy, this actually... Like Tyron Smith. Yeah. That guy's got more tea than anything. The other, I guess, controversy actually

happened on Tuesday, so we haven't been able to talk about it yet and it has to do with some infighting in the USA women's gymnastics community this made my head hurt did you see this did you hear about this Kev so the women won the all-around gold on Tuesday. And Simone Biles posted on her Instagram account something that said,

like, doesn't work hard enough or no work ethic, blah, blah, blah, as a caption. And that got people to go back to the comments made by Michaela Skinner, who used to be her teammate. She was her teammate in the Olympics last time. In fact, she was the one that replaced her when Simone Biles had the, quote, twisties. Do you remember that whole bit? Mental health. Oh, yeah. That was big.

Yeah, it was right in that time when we're just like, does this mean that they're weak? Whatever. Yeah. We're just like, does this mean that they're weak? Whatever. But apparently they're not all that friendly anymore because in a now-deleted video from July 3rd, and I've seen most of the video, it's Skinner sitting there just talking.

I think she's taking some questions, but she's talking about the state of U.S. women's gymnastics, and she said, Besides Simone, I feel like the talent and the depth just isn't like what it used to be. I just noticed a lot of girls obviously don't work as hard. The girls just don't have the work ethic. Oh, okay. And said that, you know, kind of said, hey, you know, whenever I was coming up,

they would really get on our ass. You know, they were aggressive. They would yell at us. They were very hard on us. And now it's not that way. She's basically doing, you know, the aggressive they would yell at us they were very hard on us and now it's not that way she's basically doing uh you know the wussification of gymnastics so even in gymnastics yes even in women's gymnastics yeah we're saying that back in my day yeah and uh so yeah simone did not forget that and so after they won and there's a photo of all five of them together she's like lazy

no work ethic yeah right and um you know then people were like man these two women really hate each other oh she's really throwing some shade there um before i play the audio one other quick thing that has become a common theme in my home, when this is on and she's watching it and I'm kind of in the background, and it's also a pretty common theme on Twitter, and this is why women are women's own worst enemy. So whether it's gymnastics, whether it's volleyball, specifically beach volleyball, specifically beach volleyball, I have now heard my 36-year-old going on 66-year-old wife say,

I just don't understand why they have to wear those bottoms. I'm kind of hearing her. And I'm like, look, if they put on volleyball shorts that are like booty shorts, that's just going to be just as bad. My group chat brought up how one of the beach volleyball teams was wearing leggings and how lame that was. Like the women? Yeah. But it's still tight. Yeah, I saw somebody say that was woke.

Yeah, they can't win. The Olympics have gone woke. You definitely cannot win. You can't win. Show me a little lip down there. You definitely cannot win. You can't win. Show me a little lip down there.

But, yeah, I mean, I'm like, I don't know. It's probably because that's what works best for them for movement, you know. If I had the ability to work out like dudes do at the combine where you just don't even have to wear shorts and you could just wear, like, tights or sliding shorts, I would. It's more comfortable to just not have stuff get in your way. It's uncomfortable to be dressed like that. I don't know. It's uncomfortable because you're worried about people seeing you.

But if you're not worried about people seeing you, then you just don't care. And if you're a beach volleyball player, you're like, I don't care, I'm hot. But it is funny to watch the cameramen because they definitely know what they're doing. Yeah. Some have been out of control. Yes. Like the low shot on the track and field. Yeah.

Come on, dude. Yeah. We know what you're doing. Yeah, we get it. All right. So I feel like the people who are announcing the Olympics got a memo. And I believe I've noticed this before, which is that they know that a lot of people watching, 99% of them, they don't have a clue who any of these people are

outside of Simone Shikari and the U.S. women's national team, right? Maybe Katie Ledecky. But if you're watching men's gymnastics, that was another question my wife asked last night. Why do you think men's gymnastics is not more popular? Because they're ripped. They're maybe the strongest people at the Olympics. And I was like, what do you mean?

It's because people think they're gay and they think the women are hot. How simple do I have to make this for you? The horse thing is pretty awesome. Dude. Did you see that one, dude? Yeah. The American guy? Yeah. Yeah, he American guy? Yeah.

Yeah, he's asleep over there. He's asleep, and then they just wake him up for his one event, and he's got his glasses on, and he just goes up there. Destroys? Yeah. Like, that thing is, yeah. What horse thing? Pommel horse.

Yeah, where they're flipping around, and the leg's going its way. I mean, it's incredible. Do you feel like he really captured the... Yeah, it's just incredible, man. The rings? It's incredible. Do you feel like you really captured the... It's just incredible, man. The rings. It's amazing. She's like, why do you think this is really impressive? Why aren't more people into this as opposed to the women?

I'm like, it's very simple. They know that you don't know the men's gymnastics competitors, so they have to dumb it down for me on my couch, the wing eating beer guzzling American. Also, they lunch bailed this guy. Every moment of every day of every workout, he's the first one in, he's the last one out. Guys are resting, they're stretching. He's over there just pounding away morning, noon, and night.

Also a dirty set up. And it shows in his gymnastics. Also a dirty set up. And it shows in his gymnastics. Amazing. You said how big he is, Tim. I mean, he's the gymnastics version of an offensive lineman. He is so big, but he makes his gymnastics look so light.

Okay. An offensive lineman. Now I get it. Yeah, yeah. Do you understand now? Because they'd already said earlier they'd said, this guy is pretty big for a gymnast. And I thought, oh, I get it. And then they're like, I don't think you do.

You know how kick returners are compared to offensive linemen? That's what I'm talking about here. I don't think you do. I'm going to have to put it in football terms for you. But the fun did not stop there. This guy uses every – Oh, no, no. I didn't flip.

Let's go to this one. Small hop on the landing. That might have been considered one foot or less. I tell you what, so much attention on Hashimoto and Bohong as the favorites. They're kind of the Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, if you will. And here comes a young Patrick Mahomes. He might not win today, Tim, but he is going to win plenty

of titles in the future. He is something special. Okay. They were told, look, football is king. Yeah. And if you relate anything to football, people will get what you're saying. Yeah. Now, I'm going to have to teach you guys.

Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers, they're quarterbacks. They've been around a long time, and they're really good. You're saying the guy who calls gymnastics doesn't – Did not know this, yes. Patrick Mahomes is like the next good one, but he's really young. So let's just use that. Yeah.

First of all, I'm going to be on the lookout for this because I think this probably happens every night. First of all, I'm going to be on the lookout for this because I think this probably happens every night. But second, the analogy doesn't really hold because when he gets to Mahomes, he's like, he may not win today, but he's going to win in the future. I'm like, this guy's already the best. He's won more recently than either of those other two guys.

A lot more. But he didn't win his first one. I guess. I thought the analogy was fine. Yeah. A lot more. But he didn't win his first one. I guess. I thought the analogy was fine. Okay. You get it. Now you know about Hachimoto. Yeah.

But yes, I can't. If I'm watching skateboarding, it's like, this guy's the Luka Doncic of skateboarding. I wouldn't rule it out. I would not rule it out at all. So there's my Olympic audio of the day. All right. What's that? I feel like somebody just got in a car accident.

That's a car accident, bro. What's this? Oh, somebody just got in a car accident, and now they're doing the first thing you should do after you get in a car accident. Are they just hitting threes? Three. Yeah. They did the air code.

They did 214-817. They did 214-817, and then they're just like, just bang the three, three, three, three, three, three. Hello. You got a partner here. Gene Burkhead on with you. Hey, is this a receptionist? No, no, no, no, no. Hello. You got a partner here. Gene Burkett, I'm with you. Hey, is this a receptionist? No, no, no, no, no.

I just said you got a partner. Is this an automated line? No, no, no. I'm a real human. Well, I need help. I'm with Frankel and Frankel. The Frankles are out right now. I'm Gene Burkett.

I like your shoes. I'm here to talk to you. Yeah. Hey, thanks, man. I feel like the insurance companies are out to get me. Thanks, little, man. I feel like the insurance companies are out to get me. Thanks, little guy. But I feel like the insurance companies are feared by you. Oh, yeah.

Hey, I heard that you guys had only collectively been in business for about six or seven weeks. Hold on. I'm in court right now. You're out of order. You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order. They're out of order. You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order. They're out of order. Okay, I'm back. You know, forget

that point I made about your combined experience. Did I do the right thing here by calling you right away whenever I was in a car accident? I called 214-817 and then I just held down the three like a child. That's right. And eventually I got you on the phone. That's right. That's what Franco and Franco, they make their number real easy.

They're there for you. They're there to fight for you. Are you guys based in Hong Kong? They're right here in Dallas. Even better. DFW. They're going to fight for you and get you what you deserve. Well, I'm certainly glad I called you, Gene.

No, no, no, another one? No, no, no. Damn, I was sitting on the side of the road. Someone else hit me now. Well, good thing I already have you on the phone because it seems like this is going to be a lot of work and I trust no one else but you to take care of it. Yeah, Franco and Frankel, bruv. Give them a call if indeed you get in an accident.

You can't handle the truth. Are we happy? I love that. Very happy. Okay. Wait, are we done with the Olympics? Yeah. That's when I said I was done with the Olympics. Did I interrupt you? No, I think that's why you... Okay. Wait, are we done with the Olympics? Yeah. That's when I said I was done with the Olympics.

Did I interrupt you? No, I think that's why you... I really wasn't listening. I was all geared up for that. I'm very happy you were. For a frank little spot. Let me go first. Because it relates to the Olympics.

We have a real back and forth here between Blake and Dr. Garrett. Blake went and saw a lady who plays a clear electric... Lindsey Stirling. Electric violin. She's a big deal. A lot of people know who's... What, like ephemeral music?

I don't even know the word for it. She's just an electric violinist. She's on America's Got Talent. She's hot. She playsist um she's on america's got talent she's hot she plays music that makes you feel like it's from your nintendo game that's so you went to go see her that's cute from you zach bryan man and uh wildly different wildly different but so garrett said you know he hit us up and said, hey, you know, I was watching women's gymnastics. And I noticed that one of the floor routines was set to Blake's little crush, Lindsay Sterling, and her Hello Kitty violin. And he told us that.

It's a normal size violin. And then we informed Blake of that. And Blake was like, yeah, okay, cool. I went to her show. But you're the one sitting there just so in tune with women's gymnastics that you noticed the music. Right. That was a good comeback, Blake.

What's his? A volley from Garrett. Uh-huh. While watching the women's gymnastics qualifier, I asked my wife who the musician was for that floor routine. She told me, Lindsey Stirling, which is the last concert I went to before we started dating.

Hey. Now, he uses some terms here that I think are a little out of date, but I am reading an email. Sort of like we were in court. You gotta read it. He says, so yes, by watching the U.S. women's gymnastics, I am gay, but i am gay for the usa blake is still gay for liking a woman who dances around while playing a clear plastic violin

it's not plastic hope this settles it so he's just reiterating his first point okay his first point. Oh, all right. Okay. That's cute. You watch Olympics with your wife. Yeah, I would do that. Not me who just referenced doing it four times. A few birthdays.

Hi, Dan. I want to wish my son Zachary Tan happy birthday. His leaders are the NFL on Nickelodeon crew. He's making mud. More Danny from Michael Tan. P.S. OJ Simpson killed Steve McNair.

You know, in my younger days, I would have been able to tell you who did that. She was Persian. I know that. Then she did herself too, right? Yeah. Because he couldn't leave

his family for her. Look, now they're together. Didn't she want to kill herself so she'd fall right on him

or something like that? Yeah. Yeah. Very good. Unironically, Dan the Man, I want to give

a shout out to my brother Kirk on his Doak Walker birthday. You still voting for that? No. His company offers the day off. I'm very glad

that you got it right this time. I was going to say. That's impressive. This is the first time ever literally. Oh, you're a great guy vote. His company offers the day off for his birthday but he didn't take it. What a putz. Putz? How's that?

Also, you guys talk a lot about mental health. Sometimes on point, sometimes just off center. I'm a licensed professional counselor. I've been a therapist for 20 years. Let me know if you need some input from a professional perspective. No, I'm good. Have fun on the DZRV. Logan,

do we talk a lot about mental health? It might be once a month something comes up and I'm just like, yeah, go to therapy. Let's cut that back a little bit. I would gladly do that. Yeah, we stop? Yes. Greetings, Dan. It is my fifth... A gunshot wound to my...

Steve McNair style. I hope you do it so that you fall on top of me. Me too. Me too. But don't shoot me first. But I'll let you, if you want to just do yourself... Maybe a 690 sit-in. And fall... Yeah, yeah.

50th birthday. I'm a day one DF, number 426. So close to that covered 420. My leaders are Blake's wife's aggressive nipple play and Jake's pegging kit. We're open-minded here. My wife will not wake me up in that special way, but I hope I can get put to bed with a Jake special from Michael. I don't know that that... What would be your special? I don't know.

Is he talking pegging? Maybe. That's not going to put you to bed, bud. You're going to be crying. Uncle Victor, it's my Marion Barber plus John Kitna birthday. I don't... 24... Three?

Six? Six. What was Kitna? My leaders are Baby Gronk's dad, frozen caveman lawyer, and Gash. No puppet drop. I sent 420 to the Venmo, so Jake will acknowledge this email.

More Dutch from Mason from Bridgeport. Bulls. All out. Heil Muff Fuhrer. The girls are sissies. I forgot about that, yeah. Day 8 subbie, number 3188, Travis Gafford. Oh.

Good dude. While I have not smoked a cigarette with Jake, I did host him and his very pregnant wife at a Portland Timbers game back in 2018. That was so badass, man. MLS. So cool. I knew I had picked the right leader when he referred to her as Shamu multiple times while I was taking them to the field level.

I don't recall that at all, but... Speaking of pregnancies, happy birthday and introduce you to the first official DZ baby, Lincoln Travis Gafford, born 731. 24. Nice. I like Lincoln. That's a great name. Just mere minutes from the Dragon Den.

And he has donned his first of its kind DZ onesie as his first ever outfit. He sent a picture of the baby. That's amazing. With a dumb zone labeled onesie. Special shout out to Raymond from E6 who created, listed, and shipped the onesie within a couple of days of me asking. DumbZoneMerch.com hook you up with Raymond. Raymond also created a big and tall section on

DumbZoneMerch.com at my request. I do remember Travis being a big guy. He says I am 6 feet 8 inches tall. I know what Dan is thinking but luckily for both me and my wife,

she had a C-section, so no extra stitches required. She might need one just from the fact you're 6'8". But what I meant to say was, welcome to the world, Lincoln, and happy Zero Day. Raymond will...

You contact Raymond and he'll just do whatever you want. So if you have a t-shirt idea, just contact him. He'll do it. Good morning, Titan of the Tang. My name is Kyle Myers. It is my Bill Bates slash Mike Allstott birthday. Great, dude. I've seen him whip some ass before.

Leaders are Fight Night? Just after a softball game. Interesting. Leaders are Dan Elmayo McDowell and Leather Jacket Jake watching Frasier. It really is a good show.

My two favorites. More Blake from Kyle Myers. And Uncle Hotmail, I hope this reaches this inbox from my lowly Yahoo. Business Wednesday was my Kyrie x Derek Lively birthday. My leaders are Flag Football Jake, Dan Holding Stuff, and Video Man Laughing. More Blake, Ben, number 665, day two. So close. I have a little bit of follow-up,

because we were mocking the baby on board bumper stickers, because there's, what, you've seen more of them on the road? I just saw a couple over the weekend and i thought they're back it's not a bumper sticker it's like a uh goes on your back windshield it's like a yield sign the yellow uh diamond right so i'll read the comments on you i'll admit to that and uh in the comment section it says baby on board signs are so first responders know there's a kid back there if there is an accident since you know most babies can't just let the responders know hey dill i'm back here i was like oh okay that kind of makes sense let me ask a real first responder

if that's true he says and i quote for half the cost of a sorry i have never looked for one of those signs means nothing to me if i miss an occupant in a vehicle it means i have failed my at my job that's what i was thinking so comment section shut up yeah we'll get to the bottom of this you're usually wrong you're wrong comment section we usually just don't address it you know some guy got on me the other day saying that uh capping rents is not a nationwide uh favorable policy it is. I have to study. Suck my nutsack. Where the celebration station was in Mesquite. Sorry.

How about that? I mean, think about it. You get in a bad car accident. There's a pretty decent chance your back windshield is broken. And are they like, before I look in this car, let me sort through the rubble here. See if there's a sticker on the back.

And see if I can find a sticker. And he's like piecing it together. Is it yellow? Was it yellow? I see it says B-A on this side. There's an O. Was there a picture of a baby, though? But what is this?

B-O-B-O. I don't know, dude. Let's just get out of here. We got this. B-O-B-O? What could this be? And then he can't find the other sticker. And when he finds the other half of the sticker, the baby's dead.

I have one email to read to close this out. This is from Drop Beth. All right. Now, Drop Beth told us a few weeks ago that she went in for the old breast check. I could have done that. That she had some little breast cancer. I could have done that. She had some little breast cancer. Oh, sorry.

You guys still want to have your fun? I feel like I could have probably found the lump, but okay. Well, anyway, she said they caught it early, and it's not something that's real dangerous, but I think she has... She's having a surgery here August 8th, so a week from today. Her real concern was being – hoping she could still make the Rangers day. That's our concern too. In September.

She said she has no chemo or radiation expected. But the real reason she followed up and told us this was she said she will be getting the Julia Louis Dreyfus and can now confirm, as Jake assumed or understood, you do get to choose your rebuild. Oh, really? Yeah. So if the next time Drop Beth comes in with all of our drops and she has, like, Fs.

Stormy Daniels. We're like, you know, why don't you come in every day? We'll pay. We'll pay for the gas. Why be a stranger? Good luck, Beth, with your top. This is what you call, this game is part of the Black Olympics. It's part of the Black Olympics.

Right now, we want to see who can eat two pieces of chicken the fastest. This is Mike, this is my big brother right here. So, Seahawks? Yeah, so, with the Seahawks. This right here is the Black Olympics. We want to see who can eat the chicken the fastest. Ready? Set, go. Y'all still got me.

Y'all still got me. Y'all still got me. I don't want to see nothing on that ball. Come on, come on, come on. Who won? Who won? Who won? Who won? Who won? Who won?

Who won? Who won? Who won? Who won? Who won? Who won? Who won? Who won, Sean? Who won? He disqualified for saying he won. That's like playing bingo and saying bingo before you got all four. Bob beat you, boy. That's part of the Black Olympics. Part of the Black Olympics. Part of the Black Olympics.

Who can drink the most Kool-Aid right now? Masi can drink the most Kool-Aid. The most or who can drink fastest? Drinks the fastest. Get a glass that's the equivalent to mine. Where your glass at? At the Michael Phelps man. The Michael Phelps was eating chicken man. I got eight chicken medals man. I got eight chicken medals, man. I got eight chicken medals, man, in Beijing. All right. I got to stop before I even start the contest. That's how much I can knock and drink it.

Okay. In the competition, who can drink the most Kool-Aid? Black Olympics. You got to count down this time. You got to hit start. Go ahead. Say it. Say it. On the count of three, two, one. I drank Kool-Aid for a living.

Black Olympics. I got 17 golden cups. Wait, wait, wait. Slow it over. I got 17 golden cups for the Black Olympics with the Kool-Aid. The last competition is the watermelon-eating competition. You said you were going to make that one? Let's go. All right, Black Olympics, watermelon-eating contest.

Got to do it with the sink. Come on, Sean. Yeah, go on the other side. Get that side through. Alright. Watermelon eat contest. March. You set? Go. Oh! Okay, you have some more.

Dang! Dang, guys, I'm so pleased! Dang! This is your shopping bag. I'm a little crazy. Dang. This is your second thing. Okay, and this one looks like you. Who y'all think won? You're being a judge. You're just writing to say who won. Black Olympics.

Who won, Shark? He wanted a man to look a little cleaner. What? Who won? All you did was rub it in his face. I can't remember. I just used a technique called chicken slime most. I mean the watermelon slime most. I slid the watermelon up and I ate it. Man. He disqualified.

Hey, that's the Black Olympics right here. Brought to you by Marty B. TV. Chicken. Big Brother Mike. See you out at Seahawk. Holler at your boy. Peace. Talk to you by Marty B. TV. Chicken. Big Brother Mike. See you out of Seahawk. I'll let you boil.

Peace. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. Are you guys prepared for the 2024 Olympic Games? Dan, where are they? Sochi. Yay, Paris. That's right. Dan was just there. That's the only reason he does that.

I saw so many Olympic songs. I'm glad they're doing it in a major city. Yeah, because sometimes they do it in, like, White Settlement. Well, or they'll do it in... Yeah, this time they've chosen a city. Maybe... No puppet. Well, welcome back to White Settlement, folks.

No puppet. Well, welcome back to White Settlement, folks. Anyway, so there's the full Marty B. Black Olympics, for those who needed that, on Marty B. TV many years ago. R.I.P. Can you guys tell I'm wearing a different shirt? Than you were before? I changed my shirt because you didn't tell me,

so I ran to Potbelly for a quick sandwich on the way. And then I think I got some chips or something. I just had this stain on my shirt you didn't tell me about. And so, as you know, I have eight of these same shirts. So I just went and changed. Well, how would we know? How would we notice you had chip dust? It was like a big spot right in the middle.

How come you guys won't tell me when I have something? I'm embarrassing myself in front of Nico Pizzarello. What a kick-ass name. It really is. Joining us now, guys, you notice there's a lady up here high above my garage. She is my daughter. She is my daughter. She is Eden. She has been on our program before.

She gets the applause. Of course she gets the applause. She's been on the program before. What was it for, Eden, do you recall? Nope. Must have been very memorable for you. We called you at some point. Yeah, I guess, I suppose. When you were at Ithaca College.

Yeah. Because we don't know anything about being online. Mm-hmm. The Try Guys. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, what was the Try Guys? Refresh us on that. He just cheated on his wife.

Did he definitely cheat on her, or was it like he just was kind of being forky? He definitely cheated on her. And the big deal, if I remember, is he was a big wife guy. Oh, yeah, that was his whole shtick. Yeah. He loved his wife. Was I really devoted to my wife? Yeah.

I love her. He was like, put her online and stuff. And then cheated on her with a co-worker. Just don't be a wife guy. And everybody's like, well, I'm not surprised by that. Right. No one would be surprised if I got busted. Yeah. They'd be like, oh yeah, this guy, he's a dirtbag.

Yeah. Sure. I think we asked you about lean chicken too. What? What does that mean? Were people cooking chicken? In lean? Yeah. You definitely did not ask me about that. Really? No.

In lean, the... Yes, liquid hydrocodone. Okay. Yeah, we were trying Eden out as our new social media coordinator. Yeah, because we tried one other shot at that. If we could play audio, that was a fucking disaster. Who else did we do? I think it was a lady from one of the local TV stations.

I think it was Channel 8. Yeah, and she was trying to explain some trend online. But she didn't know anything else. No. She only knew one thing she had researched. We asked her about it. And it was something real basic, too.

Like, hey, what about this other thing? What about the icebox challenge? Or the milk crate challenge? That was a low point in our show's career. But then Eden was good at it. Yes. Yeah. And then so we never had her on again.

No, we didn't. Nothing else happened online since then. No. No. What's going on online now? What's the big TikTok trend? Yeah, what's Brett? Have you seen the...

Brett? Yeah. What's Brett? TikTok trend? Yeah, what's Brat? Have you seen the... Brat? Yeah. What's Brat? Wow. Why did you waste that? You should have come in later with it. I don't care. I don't care.

That's tough. Do you really not know? I mean, I do know. It's just that they don't know. And it's like, if you don't know, then you don't know. You just know it when you see it.

Okay. Okay. Very concise. Have you seen the thing where people throw a piece of cheese on their kid's head? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. A long time ago. Dad. What?

Dad. That was like two weeks ago, idiot. That was like four or five years ago. All right. Well, I just recently saw a compilation. Is that what you do

whenever you babysit my kid? Huh? I throw cheese on him? Yeah, it gets wet on the hands. You don't have any cheese. She doesn't know. She looked.

She's gone crazy. How do you like Jake's cat? Oh, she's cool. Yeah. I thought you loved it. I, what? You wanted a cat.

I want a gray cat. Oh, okay. cool. Yeah. I thought you loved it. I... You wanted a cat. I want a gray cat. Oh, okay. Well, I said yesterday, what if we got a ragdoll cat? You're on board. And I said, sure, I just kind of want a cat. And you said, okay, well, they're $1,000. I said, you're not allowed to have a cat anyway. I am not allowed to have a cat.

What happened? Allergies? My wife claims she's allergic, even though she lived with our other cats. I was going to say, you had one forever. Yeah. Do you think she's lying? Yes. Yeah.

I think she's somehow just, all of a sudden now she's allergic. She just doesn't like the mess and doing stuff with it. Well, I appreciate your generation for giving us Kamala Harris. Is she Gen Z? I don't know, but it feels like she got really popular. You have to be at least 35. So no, I think she got really popular on Tik TOK suddenly because people started

like remixing her speeches and stuff. No, that was Obama. Anyway, definitely remember it happening with Obama, but yeah, that's where I learned about Bratz just recently. Yeah.

The Kamala Harris edits,, the edits. Yeah, the Kamala Harris edits. Girl Boss edits. Yeah. Fan cams. I knew. Anyway... Watching the Olympics? No. I was there. I saw them building the stadiums. I'm over it.

Did you see the beach volleyball thing right in front of the Eiffel Tower? That's kind of cool. Is that – wait, what side is that? Well, it's probably to the left because that's where they were building a massive stadium. I'll just send you a picture. John Sponsler sent me a picture from there yesterday. Handsome Johnny.

Yeah, because he heard we mentioned him. So now maybe he'll hear that again. But, yeah, I got it. And I thought, oh, I'll send this to Eden. She lived right by the Eiffel Tower. And then I didn't send it to you. Anyway, Eden's here to talk movies. You're into movies, right?

That's your bit. Is it? Well, mostly horror movies. I really like. You're a connoisseur. Yeah. Okay, you and your friend Liz are really into watching all horror movies. I really like. You're a connoisseur. Yeah. Okay, you and your friend Liz are really into watching all horror movies. Yeah.

Like, in fact, I was telling these guys, in fact, do you remember what it is? We have a new Christmas tradition in our house now. Do we? Is it yearly now? Or should we watch two next year? We did one this year. What did we watch? We watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

The original. It was kind of awesome. Yeah, the OG. Yeah did one this year. What did we watch? We watched Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The original. It was kind of awesome. The original, right? Yeah, the OG. Yeah, it was good. The second one, Mom Will Like More because it's a horror comedy.

It's goofy. Horror comedy? Well, I thought it was a comedy just because of how, I don't know. You think everything's a game? Over the top it is?

Yeah, I mean, it's just the fact that it's the original and everything that follows has, you know, it was kind of funny. Everything's a bit to you. Yeah, trust us. Watch the movie. We know. Anyway, that's our new Christmas tradition.

Well, maybe our new tradition is just allowing you to pick a horror movie. Oh, joy. To watch. No presents this movie. Oh, joy. To watch. No presents this year. That's right. Do you remember being mad that your dad would make you wait to open presents until he was up on Christmas, or did you just thought that was normal? Because it's not.

Well, he'd wake up at like 11, and then he'd make his coffee, and then he'd dig out the camcorder for like another three hours. We'd be opening them at like 5 p.m. But then I started sleeping until 5 p.m. So then he couldn't get mad or I wouldn't get mad. Right. And then they're all ready.

In fact, you have not eaten breakfast today. Well, no. She's just woke up. Yeah. Which is pretty sweet sweet i prioritized the shower so you're welcome and our show oh yeah i guess okay sorry dan so um now one that you probably won't choose for the family to watch this year. Yeah, because you've already seen it. Because I've already seen it now. I told you I woke up a couple of Sundays ago and watched it before.

I woke up and walked downstairs and you've got human centipede on the TV. That was our reaction too. I'm like, dude, people get up on Sunday. They want to watch something funny, light, uplifting with the family. And he's just watching this, a shit-based comedy. Or horror movie, I guess. Which to him is a comedy. Yeah.

Not a comedy at all. It was very serious. Yeah, I told mom I was going to watch it. And she was like, no, please, no. And then I told you and you were like oh my gosh I need to get on that get on that right two different reactions

which there often is when she goes to mom or dad yep like if you want something where do you go I'm not going to mom right just go to me

I'll be like alright fine whatever I don't care so Human Centipede and is not just a standalone movie because it was that good. It's a trilogy. Well, the first one is actually called Human Centipede parentheses first sequence.

So he had these in the books. Right. He knew going in. This is just too much story to tell. This is too much for just one. So I did watch the first one. We're really doing this, Blake. Human Centipede first sequence.

It opens with a guy sitting in a car looking at a picture which looks like three dogs sniffing each other's butt. It's actually probably the only part of the movie that's worth watching. It's like the first five minutes. Because that part is so funny. You just, the pan down, you know it's, you're watching a movie called Human Centipede.

You've seen it in the cultural zeitgeist. And then the first shot is just him looking at a picture of the dog centipede in his car like he's scouting out yeah he was on the side of the road and like he was wistfully looking at it like he loves this picture yes and then later in the movie

when you finally get to go into his bedroom he has that same dog picture framed next to his bed. Just sitting there. That was his vision, his dream. His dream was a human, but he started with a dog. You're not going to start with humans. That's silly.

His thing is like, I was a doctor who specialized in separating Siamese twins, but I retired, which is so... So is he just trying to reverse history? He's trying to write what he viewed... I don't understand that. Well, in the movie, he kind of just wants a pet. He treats it... You get a cute little montage of them going and doing stuff.

Once he makes the three humans. Yeah, he's throwing a ball in the yard. They're crying. like they're once he once he makes the three humans yeah he like he's like throwing a ball in the yard they're like crying like yeah

he's making him fetch like he's taking him for a walk yeah yeah this is out in public no it's just his backyard he's got a big backyard

well it's in like Germany of course it is no one else lives there. Of course. Yeah, it's way, way in the wilderness type thing. And yes, he's got like a soundproofed underground.

Like lab? Yeah. Yeah. Lab, operating room. That's where it all happens. Because like later in the movie some detectives come sniffing around and it's funny because

they do have subtitles for a lot of things that are not English. But the detectives are speaking just in German. They don't put any subtitles. Are they? Yes.

I don't even remember. The one that I watched had subtitles for the German okay well this one didn't and I thought and I didn't ever need it because I've watched enough cop shows to know exactly what they're asking what his reaction was blah blah blah so it I thought that was intentional but you're saying it wasn't. If they had subtitles. Well, it wasn't like baked. The one I watched didn't have subtitles put in the film. It was like in post, you know? I thought out of this movie.

Now, there's a lot of stuff that's not realistic. So the whole point is, okay, so this guy, he kidnapped some people. So how did he get the two girls? They just happened upon his place because... They got lost in the woods and they had a flat tire and they did the classic horror movie thing of, oh my gosh, well, we can't drive the car at all now. It's just out of commission. We've got to...

It was pouring rain, and they just go to the first house that they can find. A rental. So you could have just... It's right. It ruined the rim. Who cares? Just drive it into town. But they didn't.

They walked through the woods. Especially... You're in a foreign country. Like, you don't speak the language, and you're just... And they didn't walk along the road. No. They walked into the woods and saying, I'm just going to walk as far as I can.

And they were like, oh my gosh, we're lost. This is the part of the movie you want to pick apart. Well, I'm doing just... We'll get there. Okay. Act one. We're building. She's a connoisseur of the horror movie overall.

And so you're saying this is a common trope and they are everyone in this movie is a really really bad actor and if you check their film credits they could get Leo no

sorry it's like all they've done or something De Niro was booked like you watch it and you're like, this is like porn acting. And then you look at their credits and you're like, oh, yeah, I guess I was right. We got a little nudity too. Like if you're into that. I would think you'd have to.

If you're into people sewed together. Why would you watch this like again if you're not into it? What do you mean? Like if that wasn't like a fetish or something? That's a good point. Why would you watch it yeah that's a good point why would you watch it the first time no why would you watch it the second time

like if you're re-watching okay like no one it did something for you yeah if you're watching it a second time I guess I watched

the second and third movies too so maybe there's an argument to be made there I've said too much I did the one thing I wanted to credit is in any movie I've ever seen they usually don't show it but this is a very real depiction of trying to drag a lifeless body

when her friend one of the at first before they sewed them together the girls almost escaped yeah and the one girl was knocked out and the one girl that didn't get knocked out was trying to drag her friend off the property. And I just thought that was very real, just showing how long that actually takes and how difficult it is. Because usually it's just a jump cut to now they're out here. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Liz was watching it. She was like, if this was us, you'd be dead.

Like, I'm out. I'm just gone. And I was like, if this was us, you'd be dead. I'm out. I'm just gone. I was like, if this was us, we wouldn't knock on... She would not have dragged you. I was like, we would have driven the car, so we wouldn't be there, but thanks. But if you got to the thing, the operating room, and she got away, she would not have dragged you.

No. She would have just said, I'm going to have to just go. Well, she knows she's weak. She knows her capabilities. Now, whenever they're kidnapped and they're trying to escape, do they already know the intentions of the former Siamese twin separator? Or do they just know they're kidnapped? Do they know that they're going to have to eat poop?

I don't remember. He does sit them down and give them a little spiel. And there's some cute little drawings. It's like the same drawings they use in the South Park episodes. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. So like he does the dotted lines on the mouth where he's going to cut them and the dotted line around the anus.

And like he's got a German accent. Yeah. Yeah. So he does somehow describe it to them. Okay. So it's too late. It's their desire to leave expeditiously. But if he was a nice guy, you think they stay?

Like, when they try to get out anyway? Probably, but I would have a little more urgency if I knew the endgame. It's two 20-something girls and then an Asian guy who does not speak. A Japanese guy, yeah. Japanese guy. And they put him at the front.

Yeah. Because, which is so stupid, because then he's like, yo, move, move. And he's like, I don't, what? What do you want? I don't know. Right, you wouldn't want the English speaker

to be up front. Yeah. Yes, he wasn't able to. Because they would listen, of course. Was that the same in South Park? Did they make the city walk guy first? I'm pretty sure, yeah. I don't remember who was in this.

Was it Kyle, a Japanese guy, and someone else? It was the city walk guy, though. Yeah, I remember him. He had to be first, yes. In fact, so the girl that tried to escape, was she third? And that's why he put her, he like said, I'm putting you third because you tried to escape.

No, she got put second because she tried to escape. I'm putting you in the middle. Yeah. The middle is the worst. Okay. And if you want to jump for a spoiler, that's the girl that actually lives in the end. Yeah.

Well, the ending to me is the... She survived. Is the only poignant part of the movie. Is she in episode two also? Episode two. Well, whatever they call it. New Hope. If you want to... You've been sent to be through a new hope

if i'll crack into that when i when i talk about the second one but uh dwelling on this ending moment it is uh probably the only other thing that i think is like worth watching in this movie. The only other emotionally impactful moment is that the guy at the front dies. Because obviously they're all suffering from sepsis. They're literally eating poop and they have wounds. So the guy at the front dies and then the girl at the back dies.

And then she's right in front of a mirror, too, so she's just got to look at herself, and then we get a fun pan out, and you're like, dang. I literally just watched this movie. Yeah, is she just going to rot there? What is her future? Okay, so they died.

They didn't separate them? No, so the detectives returned and the mad scientist had himself a gun. And they end up all three killing each other in a Reservoir Dogs type shootout. Yeah.

In his indoor pool. Yes. So like two detectives and mad scientists shoot. They all die. And now they're trying to crawl out. The human centipede's trying to crawl out. But then I think it's before they had died. And I think the Japanese guy, whatever, killed himself realizing this sucks.

Right? Yeah. I hate. Oh, my gosh. The lazy early 2000s. Of course they made the Asian guy kill himself. Lazy early 2000s trope. That happened in Hostel 2, which I was really annoyed at.

There's a Japanese girl who escapes from being tortured, and then she sees that she has a facial wound now, and she's like, okay, well, I'm just going to kill myself instantly. It's so lazy. Then girl three, the third girl, died because of sickness. Oh, yeah. But how do they separate?

Can they do it themselves? No, we just... It's like an open ending. It's like Inception. Yeah, of course. It's just like that. Yeah, of course. It's just like that. Okay, so, yeah, I don't know. Okay, yes, I'm just looking at my notes.

Yes, they gave him a dog bowl full of food. That's how he makes him eat. He treats him in a cage, treats him like a dog. And in fact, when we talk about their doing fetch and stuff, he trained them to bring him the morning paper. Oh, yeah. You're fucking kidding me. That seems very stupid.

He's just letting him in the front yard like that? Obviously, there's a paper boy or somebody that comes by every day that might end up seeing the human centipede out there getting the morning paper. Who's going to believe you? Take him to the dog park. Right. No one's going to believe that guy.

So, yes. And your description for whether you need to watch this movie or not, you said you do not. No. It's like reading the Wikipedia article, but slower. Okay. A lot slower. Hour and a half. Yeah.

And you do watch some movies through Wikipedia, right? You just... Because I'll be like, have you seen The Godfather since you're into film? I watched The Godfather with you. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. You said you weren't... I watched it with you.

No, I didn't. But most movies when I ask you if you've seen them, you're like, well, you seen clips. I watched it with you. No, I didn't. But I'm, most movies, when I ask you if you've seen them, you're like, well, I've seen clips on YouTube. Like, wasn't that the case with, uh,

not a movie, but, uh, Squid Games? Yeah. I watched that. Might have been your sister. Oh,

probably. But it was like, yeah, she saw, I saw a little recap. Like, I know, I know.

I'm good. I saw a clip. I get it. Yeah. Yeah, they'll watch every second of Love Island hey I'll talk over it the whole time okay trust I'm not listening every segment of every season uh did you love is blind no or I did one season I did the first one I liked it but I

just it fell off the plate for me I liked it I liked it a lot. I just, I like, I only watched it because Ava was watching it and I came in the room like halfway through the series and I was like, okay, I guess I'll sit here. It's playing.

It was fine. Okay, so the trilogy though. Yeah, okay. The trilogy is where we actually get a little fun with the,

with the concept because Human Centipede 1 obviously became a cultural phenomenon. You couldn't go five seconds without hearing about the Human Centipede in 2004 or whatever. Yeah, South Park. But Human Centipede 2, we open with a security guard, a British security guard, watching Human Centipede 1. And he's like, whoa, I need to do this now. And for all the residents that enter the building, he's taking them to a warehouse. And he has a little human centipede scrapbook

that he keeps under his bed. And one of the pages says, 100% medically accurate. And he cuts and pays and then his mom finds this centipede book and he's like, oh no, I have to kill my mom now. He's got all these people in there. He has like 20 people in his warehouse at this point and then this movie's a lot this movie's in black and white by the way um a real film noir version of but it's in black and white but the poop is still brown so they made that color yes okay that was a distinct choice like the red rose or whatever

okay yeah just like that that's actually kind of that's hilarious kind of hilarious it gets old um so he's gonna centipede up 20 guys like 20 people just 20 randos except no surgical training on this one yeah the thing is he tries to do it but like he sucks obviously because he's a security guard and so this one is a lot more like if you're watching it any of these movies like because you're like into gore i mean i'd go elsewhere but like if you're gonna like watch the second one because the second one he's like duct taping them together he's like stapling them like it is it is messy he and the whole time like every time anyone he does the south park thing where he like gives um them laxatives But this was written pre-South Park episode.

So this was, they just both in tandem. Great minds think alike, I guess. Right. We saw the release date was like within a couple months of each other. So neither one of them could have seen the other. No. Yeah. I can't remember what I was going to say. But yeah, they're struggling. one of them could have seen the other. No. Yeah. Yeah.

I can't remember what I was going to say, but yeah, they're struggling. The whole time, he's literally, he's like, like he's literally blowing raspberries the whole time. He's giggling. He's like dancing around. At one point, he's like, ew, Loki smells bad in here. And I'm like, bro, what are we doing here?

There's one very famous scene that I won't describe because it's bad enough to even imagine it. But it is crazy that the most famous scene from this movie, it's completely unrelated to the centipede. The centipede is not even in this

scene well that's a leading statement yeah yeah i kind of want you to describe it now okay so it i'll start and you can stop me whatever there's um one of the people he brings back is a pregnant woman and at a point he thinks that she dies so he like puts a blanket over her and I'm like whew thank God like I wow I really thought they were going to put the pregnant lady in the peat like I

was sweating I was sweating but they don't but at some point during the movie it turns out she's alive and she gets up and I'm like, oh no, Chekhov was right. Chekhov's pregnant lady. She's relevant. And she, like, I seriously don't want to describe what happens. Does the baby fall out? Yeah.

The baby does fall out while she's trying to get away and something very unnecessary happens to it. The baby does fall out while she's trying to get away, and something very unnecessary happens to it. The baby crawls away. No. That would be nice. I would love that. Okay. No.

Okay. Does the baby end up on the peat? No. Oh, my gosh. I don't know. Is it like a little tail? Just hanging. Just hanging out.

Yeah, no. And then they show a time lapse of how it grows up. Goes to kindergarten as it... Gets into Yale. Yeah, ends up getting married. That's a great college essay. So how does that one end? Why do we need a third one, I guess, if we're going to wrap up with three?

Is this only Survivor ever? Because you said no Survivor from episode one yes he is as I said he's obsessed with human centipede he actually like calls all of the actors from the

first movie under the guise that he is a casting director for Quentin Tarantino. And, I mean, the first movie, like, says at the beginning, like, produced by Quentin Tarantino or something. Oh, it does? I think they're, like,

I'm pretty sure they're, like, boys or something. Okay. Or maybe, I think, maybe I'm thinking of Eli Roth. I'm thinking of Hostel. Okay. Anyway. Also, a slaggy movie, so. I'm thinking of Hostel. Okay, anyway. Also a slaggy movie. I love Hostel. Hostel's pretty funny.

But anyway, he only gets a hold of the girl who was third in the centipede. Don't remember her name. Jenny or Lindsay. But he puts her at the front of the pede and she's she becomes kind of our heroine you know okay so he actually gets the first actor but it's okay it's a movie within a movie yeah yeah yeah and um i mean people are dying left and right in the pede like no one's happy to be there at one point like since it's so shoddily constructed, like, it rips in half. And, like, they're all wandering about.

We got multiples. And he actually, he has a cute little centipede in a little tank because he loves him so much. And she, like, somehow, I don't know how he gets in an altercation with the centipede. Like how can you not take the centipede in a fight? That's crazy. Like they're on all fours.

Very poisonous. Anyway. They are. Not this one. Terrifying. But she grabs the centipede and she grabs like the funnel that he was using like to feed her laxatives or whatever. And she makes the centipede like

crawl up his butt. And it's like, okay. And then the movie just kind of ends and you're like, why did I watch that? That seems to be a theme here. Yeah, I gave this movie one star. Compared to episode one? Two stars. Compared to episode one?

Two stars. Oh, episode one got two stars. Yes, I know. And episode three, we sink even lower than we thought possible to the half star ranking. The concept of three is that the doctor from the first movie is a prison warden in Texas, and he's super evil. I thought he was dead. No, this is a different universe. This is a different guy.

He just looks a lot like him, but it's the same actor. Okay. And his accountant is the guy from the second movie. And the whole time they're both trying to do... The security guard. Yeah. The whole time they're both trying really hard to do southern accents and they just

can't. They just cannot bring themselves to. And so eventually like halfway through the movie they're like, oh well I'm actually a German immigrant and I just love America a lot. And I was like, they definitely shoehorneded that in after they filmed for like 10 hours and we're like, okay, bro, it's just not working.

But they had all the film already so they couldn't recut the scenes. Yeah. The funniest part about this is that really what happened was they just couldn't find anybody else to be in these movies. But if you've already done it, it's like doing heroin a second time yeah like i mean i already did the first or the second centipede movie yeah this can't hurt my career anymore i might as well catch a check i mean they're not good actors so yeah like they're getting booked yeah yeah it's not the human centipede holding them back the director like contacted them and they're like,

you literally don't have anything else going on. I know you don't. But it opens with them, of course, watching Human Centipede 2. Of course. We've established. Yeah. And the German guy is like, you know, you look a lot like the guy in that movie. And we're like, oh, director Tom Six, you know, you look a lot like the guy in that movie. And we're like, oh, oh, director Tom

Six, you funny guy. And in this universe, Tom Six is, like, loved. Like, everyone's like, oh my gosh, like, he's such a... He's like Coppola. Oh my god, yeah, Tom Six, the director of Human Centipede 1 and 2. Okay. I love Tom Six.

And, um... Anyway, there's... This movie is stupid. Like, the whole time... Whoa. This one. Whoa. Hey. This one is more stupid. And the whole time, the warden's just super evil.

And the accountant is really hung up on the idea of a human centipede because he's like we have behavior the warden is like stressing out because the governor of texas is like you need to get this prison in line you're not up to the the staff yeah you're not up to codes or whatever and he's like oh no oh my gosh like what am i gonna do like he literally like is constantly killing his inmates like he breaks someone's arm for no reason you get to you get to you see someone get castrated like you see sack it's bad it's not worth it um but eventually he gets swayed and he's got his little his little doctor friend um the the prison doctor i guess and he's like fine we're doing we're doing the human centipede and he's like the the doctor he's like um yeah i guess like I mean, I've reviewed the tapes and it is 100% medically accurate.

So I believe that we'd be able to pull this off. And they contact Tom Six and Tom Six cameos as himself. And he's, everyone is like asking for his autograph. Like everyone loves him. That's awesome. And he's, he's like, yeah yeah you guys can use my ip or whatever on the one stipulation that i get to watch at least two people get sewn together and it's it's like okay bro like sure clearly you're also nothing but time. So they start making the centipede. Crazy stuff happens. There's dream sequences.

The German guy's acting the entire time is genuinely insufferable. That is actually probably the worst part of the movie. The mad scientist doctor? It is so difficult to watch like like you can't even like close your eyes you can't even plug your ears like that because that's just not watching the movie at that point but you're acting must be pretty bad if it's distracting enough to distract away from people being sewn together and eating each other's yeah yeah but they're like this is this is a perfect solution to bad behavior so they sew together like all of the inmates and then they they show the governor and he's like what is this

oh my gosh like why did you do this and they're like low-key this was a good idea so whatever um and they also they've evolved in this movie they have something called the human caterpillar which is for the uh life sentences which is where they cut off your arms and your legs and you just lay there okay on the dirt and tom six the director like walks in on a surgery where they're like they have like a hacksaw and they're sawing someone's arm. Like there's blood everywhere and he throws up on the glass and he's like what are you guys doing? And so he's like this

That's too much for him. He's a pillar of morality now. Yeah. He's like trying to distance himself from his own project. Yeah. Which is weird. Anyway then the warden is like oh my gosh like I want to kill myself

like this sucks bro like the government is not going to fund this this is awesome like I did all this work I put all this time and money into this and now I have to disassemble the peed he's oh by the way in this movie they do refer to it as

the peed yes so you didn't make that up i was calling it the peed pre uh number three pre number three but i i was very pleased that they call it the peed but he's like i'm gonna kill myself he's got like the he kills the doctor because he's mad at him which is weird because the doctor like let him kill a patient in front of him like he literally just goes to a hospital bed and like suffocates someone and then they have to revive him and then he kills him again and it's like what are you what are you doing he just lets anything slide but um then he's gonna kill himself but then the governor walks back in and he's like, you know what?

I changed my mind. This is a great idea. And this is exactly what America needs. This is what we will do to prisoners if they act up. No, this is just all prison. Oh, the whole prison. Yes, this rocks. This is criminal justice reform.

Yeah, we're going to implement this ASAP. And he's like, yes. And then he turns to his little accountant guy who had the idea, the guy from number two. And he's like, oh my gosh. And he like hugs him. And then he shoots him, obviously, because he wants all the cred. Obviously, yeah. Yeah.

And then I guess he lives happily ever after okay that's how it ends yeah and this this movie um like on letterbox it's got the little blurb about the movie and like what it says at the the top is the second movie it says% medically accurate, like touching on the little scrapbook. This one says 100% politically incorrect. Oh, yeah. Which I was like, I guess. Like, is this supposed to be like, oh, this is for Republicans. This is America.

Like, I'm like, you're Swedish? Like, no one, no one. one the first two everything else made sense up until then yeah I'm like okay like nobody in like politics is like we need to stop um people getting sewn together ass to mouth. It's not a big issue. It really baffled me to say that. It's kind of a critique of the prison system. I'm like, who's this movie for?

It's so bad. Half a star. Half a star. It's not even worth reading the Wikipedia article to see what I wow skipped over but yeah

I don't I'm not gonna watch them I know the whole story yeah don't need to well there you go guys hey the review of the trilogy

we've talked about this for years you've talked about it like this is a culmination of a decade you can talked about it for years this is a culmination of a decade a decade worth of talk I told these guys the other day

I hate horror movies I'm terrified I have nightmares I told them the other day I'm going to go the rest of my life without seeing another one the rest of your life? there's not one that you've enjoyed? No.

The Shining? Oh, absolutely not. Absolutely not. That's crazy. I was telling them that I did want to watch something. You said something that related to something she brought up, but it was Cannibal Holocaust. Oh, don't watch Cannibal Holocaust.

Oh, really? I thought you said like that. I told you not to watch cannibal holocaust that's one of the guys started the director got tried yeah he got it was so like realistic it's it's got like found footage elements to it and it was so realistic that he got tried for murder because he made all the actors sign an nda to not appear in any movies for like a whole year. So people would actually think they were dead? Yeah. But then he just like brought them to court and he was like, here.

Okay, don't watch it. It's a good story. No. Or that story that you just told was good. Yeah. Like the history around it's interesting. Like what it's done for horror is interesting, like inspired things like Blair Witch.

It's like pretty much the first found footage movie, but soundtrack, banging. Look up Cannibal Holocaust soundtrack on Spotify. Actually, super good. soundtrack on Spotify actually super good but and the special effects are super impressive but the first half of this movie is super boring the second

half of this movie is very very gory and there is like real animal death in it so if you don't want to see I mean it's all done humanely. So like they like it is.

People are very mad at it, obviously, because like they used it for art. But trust they used all parts of the buffalo like they ate them. They did eat them. The native way. They did. They worked with real natives on the set and they they were like, here, and they were like, we love eating monkeys. But this movie's also like super racist.

Obviously. It's a different time. Well. It was. Well, yeah, I guess. You can say that about any time. Beginning of this pod. Times have changed.

Things have changed a lot in the last couple hours. Who knows? Check Twitter. Well, thanks, Eden. Anything you would like to say to the Dumb Zone Reddit? No. No chance. You haven't been there lately?

No. You did say Liz checked it. What is wrong with you people oh Liz checked it just because I mentioned that somebody left the comment saying like if they were my daughters I would kill myself which

is pretty funny alright now you can depart if you want and we say thank you and applause or you can hang out while we do the news and stuff. I think it's time for lunch, I heard. Okay. Well, thank you.

Thanks again. Of course. Of course. Here's Jay with the Dumb Zone News. You want to come back over here, Nico? Okay. Chime in. Jay with the Dumb Zone News. You want to come back over here, Nico? Yeah. Okay. It is not my intention for us to

play audio every single time Trump or in the previous case Biden speaks and sounds hilarious but we lost Biden which sucks. I was really looking forward to a second debate because it would have been somehow worse than the first. But we lost him.

We are working towards... Blake and I have our ears to the ground after Kamala's Atlanta appearance the other night. And this dates back to her appearance on the BET Awards where she's like, girl, they not like us. She said that another time too. She has. And then last night she had Quavo from Migos out there.

Yeah. And she used a line from Quavo like, as my friend Quavo says, walk it like you talk it. So we're going to keep an eye out for those. Walk it like you talk it. So we're going to keep an eye out for those. But for today, I saw some people, some journalists that I follow on Twitter, hemming and hawing about this in the days leading up to it. It is the annual National Association of Black Journalists conference.

So the controversy was a lot of people were saying you should not invite Trump. A lot of people within their – it's a professional organization, right? Do they usually invite? They invite both candidates in an election year. Okay. Now, I don't know if he's done this before. Maybe he skipped out in 2016. He wasn't really the presumptive nominee until pretty late in the game, you know? But in any case, they invited him,

and a bunch of people were really mad about it because you're not really going to be able to fact-check him in real time. That's what's awesome about him. They say at the beginning, like, we're going to fact-check him in real time on social media. It's like, yeah, we're going to fact check him in real time on social media. It's like, yeah, but nobody's going to see that. The video is what's going to get picked up by, you know, network and cable news, and then you're not fact checking that. So Kamala, I guess, had a prior engagement as she's trying to ramp up a campaign that started, I don't know, two weeks ago.

And she asked if she could do her part her appearance over zoom and they said no like they would just put her up on the big screen like you were going to be in court and they said no i do think they're going to do something small with her in september from what i gathered but trump trump's there and this is an audience of pretty much 100 black journalists and the three women that are on stage with them are female black journalists. One from ABC News, who's the one he gets real crossways with, as you'll hear. Harrison Faulkner from Fox News, who he has a pretty good relationship with, obviously. Don't know the agency of the third lady, but it's not Fox News.

It's another middle or center-left news outlet. But this is a situation I haven't seen him in before. The rallies are great because he goes up there and just kills. Feeds off the energy. Hits his beats, feeds off the energy. He's very, very rarely speaking to a crowd that has anything close to disapproval of him. Even at the debate, you know, they keep it pretty calm in the back. The moderators try to be very down the middle.

And, you know, he can just body bag whoever he's next to because they're trying to be, you know, a normal person. And he's just like, shut up. And so this is the first time I've ever seen him in a situation where he's kind of getting pressed a little bit. And he's getting pressed by black people, frankly, and black women. And it got off the rails pretty quickly. It started about 30 minutes late. Which will come up throughout this. He says it's because the equipment sucked.

Some people say it's because he was stalling, whatever it is. This is the first question from the lady from ABC. And this set the tone. Mr. President, we so appreciate you giving us an hour of your time. I want to start by addressing the elephant in the room, sir. A lot of people did not think it was appropriate for you to be here today. You have pushed false claims about some of your rivals, from Nikki Haley to former President Barack Obama, saying that they were not born in the United States, which is not true. You have told four congresswomen of color who were American citizens to go back to where they came from. You have used words like animal and rabbit to describe black district

attorneys. You've attacked black journalists, calling them a loser, saying the questions that they ask are, quote, stupid and racist. You've had dinner with a white supremacist at your Mar-a-Lago resort. So my question, sir, now that you are asking black supporters to vote for you, why should black voters trust you after you have used language like that? All right, how do you think this is going to go? Yeah, that's not setting a good tone. That's not running the ball on first down. No, it's not.

This is the flea flicker-based offense right here. Well, first of all, I don't think I've ever been asked a question in such a horrible manner, a first question. You don't even say, hello, how are you? Are you with ABC? Because I think they're a fake news network, a terrible network. Damn. And I think it's disgraceful that I came here in good spirit.

I love the black population of this country. I've done so much for the black population of this country. So he does have a few supporters in the crowd. Overwhelmingly, people are like, oh, or booing him. But, yeah, that's how he went in. As you heard him say there, he said that he's done a ton for the black community. You can judge that based on your own assessment. But he doesn't just stop there because he can't.

So this is just a few seconds later in that portion of his answer. Mr. President, we so appreciate you getting... Oh, no, wait, I gotta keep starting this over. I think it's a very rude introduction. I don't know exactly why you would do something like that. And let me go a step further. I was invited here and I was told my opponent, whether it was Biden or Kamala...

He still occasionally does Kamala. Is that, that's not how you say her name? Kamala. Kamala. He says Kamala a few times, but he does still like to say Kamala because it sounds more ethnic. Okay. I didn't know the pronunciation myself. I was told my opponent was going to be here. It turned out my opponent isn't here. You invited me under false pretense. And then you said you can't do it with Zoom. Well, you know, where's Zoom? She's going to do it with Zoom and she's not coming.

And then you were a half an hour late. Just so we understand, I have too much respect for you to be late. They couldn't get their equipment working or something was wrong. I think it's a very nasty question. I have answered much respect for you to be late. They couldn't get their equipment working or something was wrong. Mr. President, I would love if you could answer the question on your rhetoric and why you believe that black voters can trust you with another four years. I have been the best president for the black population since Abraham Lincoln. That's my answer. Better than President Johnson who signed the Voting Rights Act? For you to start off a question and answer period, especially when you're 35 minutes late because you couldn't get your equipment to work in such a hostile manner, I think it's a disgrace.

Dang. Change the subject. That's a good bit. That's wild. Yeah. And that's the start. That's the first five minutes condensed down to about two and a half right there. Yeah.

And he's just like, your equipment sucks. And he would not stop talking about it. I'll play a little bit more of that later. But then this is one that was a big headline. He knows the trick. Blame the engineer. You're going to pickle blame the producer. Something doesn't work.

Who is this guy? You're going to pickle plain the producer. Something doesn't work. God, who is this guy? Well played. So one of the women, I believe it's either the first one you just heard or the other one that's not from Fox News, references the fact that many Republicans on Capitol Hill have been calling Kamala a DEI hire. She was only hired because she's a woman. She's only hired because she's black.

She's only hired or put in this position, nominated, presumptive nominee, because she's a black woman. Obviously, Biden did her no favors on that front when selecting her as vice president, when he flat out said, I'm going to find a black woman. Doesn't help.

I mean, the fact is she has a pretty accomplished career. You know, stack it up against most people in Congress and you would find they're very similar. Even Cuban didn't say that, even though we know that's what they were going to do when they hired their next CEO. Yeah. So she asked him that. He's like, well, what is DEI is the what is the what does that mean to you? And they get into a pissing match about that. And then despite how weird that first part was, this to me is both the funniest and the weirdest thing that he did yesterday. Do you believe that Vice President Kamala Harris is only on the ticket because she is a black woman? Well, I can say, no, I think it's maybe a little bit different so uh i've

known her a long time indirectly not directly very much and she was always of indian heritage and she was only promoting indian heritage i didn't know she was black until a number of years ago when she happened to turn black and now she's black i love the way he says it I love it I love it black only promoting Indian heritage I didn't know she was black until a number of years ago when she happened to turn black and now she wants to be known as black so I don't know is she Indian or is she black she is always identified as a black woman when she went to a historically black college I respect either one but she obviously doesn't because she was Indian all the way. And then all of a sudden she made a turn and she went, she became a black person. Just to be clear, somebody should look into that too when you ask a continue in a very hostile, nasty town.

So that's a weird one, man, because obviously, you know, I'm not smart enough. No matter how many times I read it, I watch videos on it. I'm not positive that I could give you like a breakdown of race versus ethnicity. But race is primarily how people view you based on your physical characteristics, right? The very smart people would say race is a construct. Yeah. Because it's not real. It doesn't actually construct. Yeah. Because it's not real. It doesn't actually

exist. Exactly. And then, just read word for word here, ethnicity, more categorization based on culture. So you're either religion or language. So that's one thing. Then also, you know,

nationality. She's an American. But the weird part about it is he seems to be unaware that there are mixed race people who can grow up with two different upbringings, right? Like you could have a parent from Louisiana and a parent from New York, and you're going to grow up with two very different, like if you had an Italian and like a French Cajun parent, you're viewed as white, but you also would probably at times have experiences that are more in line with someone in New York or someone in, you know, back country Louisiana.

And then there's the fact that, you know, J.D. Vance's wife is Indian or is an American who has Indian, I know, J.D. Vance's wife is Indian or is an American who has Indian. I think she has Indian ethnicity as that kind of doubles as a nationality and ethnicity. Again, I'm I'm in over my head here. It's just really weird to be critical of. Again, she went to a historically black college. So that's at least 40 plus years ago. I don't know. It's just weird.

That's a weird play to make. How old is she? I think she's 60. Really? Looking good to you, huh? Yeah. She does look good. Would she immediately be

the hottest president? Hottest female president? Yeah. Yeah, I get... Obama's a nice looking guy. He is. Like if you were to say, I gotta be with a guy.

And Reagan obviously was a snack in his day. Yeah. By the time he was president, he kind of looked a little... A little older, but still distinguished. Yeah.

Kennedy. Of course. Oh, Kennedy, yeah. Yeah, I'm just thinking of... Yeah, I gotta sleep with him. Because Yeah, I got to sleep with him. Because really nobody before like 19 – How about John Adams? That guy.

I don't know. Not when he was played by Paul Giamatti. I was going to say, that's the only thing I know about him. That's a weird one. It's a weird one for people. George could pop his teeth out for you. You know, and then even like I saw on Fox News, because I was going to them for the coverage of this yesterday, somebody was like, you know, her dad's Jamaican.

She's not really African-American. I'm like, yeah, well, I mean, at some point those people who are in Jamaica probably have decisions to take from Africa via, you know, a certain trade that was occurring. So I just don't think this is a political winner, right? I think it's weird because, you know, I have Polish and Irish heritage. That's where my ancestors came from. That's why you're a from. But I mean... That's why you're a dumb drunk? Yeah, exactly.

Nobody would look at me and say, oh, what, today you're Irish? You know what I mean? It just doesn't happen to quote-unquote white people that often. Yeah. Especially if you're not like Italian, in which case you typically will say,

you know, people say, oh, I'm Italian, but you're Italian in ethnicity, but nationality. I just think it's one you just don't touch. I just feel like... I don't think he's winning anybody over by being like, hey,

it is probably one of those things. Were both your parents directly slaves? How many hundreds of years though, now that the earth is... He's heating up. So interconnected. No, we're all going to be one. Globalization.

Right? We will be one caramel color or whatever eventually. You know, we'll all be. Not if I can help it. It's going to be 500, maybe 1,000 years. But the fact that we can get from here to there. Yes. It was having to live in different total regions

that made us all like this, but now we can travel all over the earth. So it's all going to just mix up. So somewhere along the line, they will be looking at our history. They will look at us and laugh at it just as much as we laugh at people in the early 1000s or something, right?

And just how mundane and simple and stupid those people were. Burning witches. This will be like burning witches. But we don't have audio or video of them. I know. Right. But this will be like burning witches. They'll be looking at it going, I can't believe this existed.

Like, what were they arguing about? A couple more quick ones here. This was something he said at the debate. He doesn't have a great answer for it when pressed on it. My message is to stop people from invading our country that are taking, frankly, a lot of problems with it. But one of the big problems, and a lot of the journalists in this room I know and I have great respect for, a lot of the journalists in this room I know and I have great respect for, a lot of the journalists in this room are black. I will tell you that coming... They're all like, yeah, dude, you're at the National Association of Black Journalists.

A lot of the journalists in this room are black. I will tell you that coming from the border are millions and millions of people that happen to be taking black jobs. You had the best. What exactly is a black job, sir? A black job is anybody that has a job. That's what it is. Anybody that has a job. And they're taking the employment away from black people.

He doesn't want to say, I kind of only view you as capable of doing low level. Yeah, but he clearly that's what he means. And the last one I have for you here is pretty short. I could have pulled five of these, but he was doing it the entire time as he's blaming their equipment. And he's, for some reason, blaming the lady next to him who asked the first question for all of it like she definitely didn't set the equipment up and he doesn't blame this on

harrison faulkner but the lady who he doesn't like he's like your equipment sucks uh this was this is an attack on a political opponent i have another one where i have a hostile judge we have you for a limited time sir i'd love to move on to different topics. No, excuse me. You're the one that held me up for 35 minutes, just so you understand. If we can move on now to the state of the race, sir, I want to get back to the campaign. He can't just not insult somebody. He's like, yeah, well, maybe you should get a new road rig.

Stuff sucks. So, again, who knows? It probably doesn't matter. I don't think it did him any favors with particular, uh, communities, but I don't know. I don't know.

It didn't look good. It was just weird to see him so uncomfortable, like on the, on the, on his back foot, you know, for whether you love him or hate him or whatever. Very rarely do you see him kind of being like,

I don't know really how to handle this right now. Yeah, because even in a debate, you'll get some people on your side, if there's a crowd. And then when there's nobody there, there's just no... Like you said, there's never really an anti-crowd. Yeah, and it has rules.

The moderator will actually jump in. They'll cut your mic off. This was an open-ended. Yeah, and it has rules. The moderator will actually jump in. They'll cut your mic off. This was an open-ended Q&A. Sounds fun. Yeah, it was... It was interesting. The owner of a Texas adoption agency facing charges

unethical adoption practices. She's an attorney of adoptions international incorporated her name is jody hall she's accused by the sheriff's office over in tarrant county of quote paying money to multiple pregnant tarrant county inmates for the purpose of placing their unborn children up for adoption with her agency. Because, of course, the agency makes a lot of money off of an adoption, right? You know, talk to anybody who's gone through that process is not cheap. So she's steering them towards a certain agency?

Hers. Yeah, okay. Yeah. But she's not paying the girls to get pregnant pregnant It's like, look, you're already pregnant Because that was Was it Honduras? River Bob Yeah, Honduras

I think they shut it down I'm going to mess this up But one of those countries down there It's south, right? Very good One of those countries down there actually shut down adoptions because evil white Americans were heading down there and paying girls just to get pregnant, to have a baby,

so that they could then take them for adoption. But they would pay them, you know, a couple hundred bucks. In Chili's gift cards? Yeah they would pay them, you know, a couple hundred bucks. In Chili's gift cards? Yeah. And then they, you know. That's a big business, man. Give this card to the PGA store. No, it is.

You know, I mean, trying to get pregnant is a big business. That's just, if you got that desire. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely have seen, I don't know if it was like a YouTube thing. That's just, if you got that desire. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely have seen, I don't know if it was like a YouTube thing. I've seen documentaries for sure about shady adoption processes all over the world. And it does. It feels like it's all shady.

Frankly, a lot of times it is the affluent white American. A lot of times. Not a whole lot of adoption going on outside of... Unless it's like you're adopting somebody in your family. Yeah, yeah. Either tragedy or something like that. Yeah, there's who... You can't afford to get in that game. Yeah, and I don't know how popular it is

in other countries, but... Yeah, that's what she... She thought she had a little scheme here. She's like, look, you already got the baby. You know what they're going to But, yeah, that's what she thought. She had a little scheme here. And she's like, look, you already got the baby. You know what they're going to do to it, don't you? Why don't you send it to me? Yeah. Probably a pretty good sell.

Yeah. Well, we wish her well. And our final story, also in Tarrant County, prosecutors sentenced a woman, 65 years old, Deborah May Carter, for her role in a Ponzi scheme. I said Ponzi like I was saying Bonzai. Ponzi scheme.

A Ponzi scheme involving senior citizens and retirees. Now here's where things get interesting. Like I said, she just got sentenced. Life in prison prison she's 65 now the person that she ran the Ponzi scheme with

was a former Christian radio host named William Doc Gallagher he's 83 now so you know 18 year difference Christian radio host she was his mistress like current or like back in the day Christian radio host. She was his mistress. Like current?

Or like back in the day? This 83-year-old still got it? Yeah, I think so. All right. I think so. So that doesn't even seem like an age difference when you're that age. Yeah, that's an interesting question. It's like 20 years.

Now, I mean, it is, but for example, my dad is 66. Okay? He doesn't seem that different from when he was 56. But if I think about my grandfather when he was 83. Way different than 63. Yeah. Yeah. So even though it seems like, look, you're both old,

I'm just basing it off my own personal experience of my dad still seems pretty vibrant. And with it, you know, but at 83, I don't, I mean, he'll... And I guess you never know. Like, Trump is 80. I was about to say. Biden's 80. Biden and Kamala. If Kamala's 60.

That's the same difference? Close. They seem like they're from three different generations to me. They don't seem even close in age. The Biden thing has really reframed everything to me. They don't seem even close in age. Well, the Biden thing's really reframed everything

about age conversations in this country. Because that one thing I didn't play, they asked Trump about it. They're like, look, we know that what happened to him happened to him, but if you're elected, you'll still be president when you're 82, the age that he's about to be. That'd be older than

he is now. And he's like, yeah, but look at me. Are you serious? Hit the ball far. It is true. People age differently. You're like, he doesn't look. He doesn't sound old. Nearly the same age.

And it's funny because people will say like, well, because they're trying to do like the cognitive disability or impairment thing with him now because now he's the old guy. And I'm like, come on, guys, let's be serious. cognitive disability or impairment thing with him now because now he's the old guy. And I'm like, come on, guys. Let's be serious. Yeah, the guy, what he ran eight years ago was doing the same stuff he does now where he mixes up names or whatever. He, for some reason, goes on these tangents about Hannibal Lecter. I still haven't figured out why he keeps mentioning Hannibal Lecter.

It's really weird. Really weird. But have you seen the theory? Hit me. That he's getting confused, but he put it all together in a confusing way, but then he likes the bit now.

That people would say these are migrants seeking asylum. Oh. Oh, okay. And that he didn't really get it, and he thinks that these are people from insane asylums. Because he did say that. That are escaping,

and they're just flooding into the United States. And so then he put together insane asylum. I've seen insane asylum in a movie. Hannibal Lecter, that's a guy who was in insane asylum. That actually makes a lot of sense because he did, in the last two speeches I've watched him in, say these are people that are coming up from, they let him out of insane asylums. Right. But someone seeking asylum is not that.

Hey, listen. I was confused by that, too, when I was 13. Yeah. But you often think of him as, you know, if you were 13 and had a billion dollars, you might. No doubt. I would eat McDonald's every day. You'd eat McDonald's every day? You would get the movies edited into just the fight scenes and all that, you know?

Yeah, that's true. It's a good thing 12-year-olds don't vote, because you would crush in a landslide. Alright, there's your news. Got him. I wait until he really leans back. I'm always leaning back. It's gotta be easy to do.

You're just like Brian Dayball, man. I am. You were up Dayball's ass the other day. I know, but I'm me. Dayball's supposed to be like... I don't know. Ran out of steam there. Today's Thursday, August 1st.

Happy August, guys. High school football starts this month. High school football returns. Can't start a diet today, though. It's Thursday. When's your first game? Thank you for asking. August 30th.

We're about to lose Blake. At Toyota Stadium in Frisco. Wow. Big kickoff. I thought you weren't doing outside interest this year. You know, the road to state starts now. Incorrect. The road to state starts now. Incorrect. The road to state started when summer started.

Spring football? Yeah. Spring football, whatever you want to say. The road to state started when last year ended. Did you play football? If you can count it at a private school. You can't. You played high school?

Yeah, we had 19 kids on the team. Oh, wow. So we couldn't even do like a full 11 on 11 we had never heard of such a thing we had to do half line which is why it doesn't count what'd you play everything what position yeah on a team like that you're tied in defensive in middle linebacker kicker gunner i mean just you have to do everything why didn't they just is there a tap six six, man? My school does that now. Okay, I was going to say,

that number, you should be in six. We should have. But we were playing other schools with like 30. Yeah. Preston Wood had 50. It wasn't fair. To answer your question, yeah, I'm not going to let Argyle go.

That's my baby. So you're not doing TCU? No. Which bums me out. Sorry, man. It's all good. Sounds like it. Bigger and better things, am I right?

On this day in 1936, the 11th modern Olympic Games opened in Berlin. Everybody was cool. Chancellor Adolf Hitler presided over the opening ceremonies. He intended to use the Olympics to showcase his Aryan athletes and was furious when Jesse Owens, a black American, emerged as a star. And then Jesse Owens was treated like a hero when he returned to the United States for defeating Germany. He was not.

He was met with racism. Well, he certainly had never had to work another day in his life because he was on a box of Wheaties. I don't know the particulars of the story so I can't continue the bit but I imagine it was something pretty sad. He might have cleaned the

office where somebody worked. On this day in 1961, in honor of the 11th Modern Olympic Games also happening on this day, Six Flags Over Texas opened in Arlington. It was the first park in the Six Flags chain. So how about that? All right. On this day in 1966, Charles Joseph...

Wait, hold on. Back up. What? Read that again. Six Flags? Yeah. Just read it again for me. It's the day that Six Flags over Texas opened in Arlington, Texas.

Okay, and you said it was... The first park in the Six Flags chain. Okay, for some reason I thought you said the sixth park, and I'm like, well, that would make no sense. Sorry. It makes plenty of sense that it started in Arlington. Yeah, of course. Everything starts in Arlington.

Where dreams come true. 1966, Charles Joseph Whitman went on an armed rampage at the University of Texas in Austin that killed 14 people. He was on the clock tower of the main campus building. He had also killed his wife and mother hours earlier. He was a Marine, I think. I believe he was, unless Full Metal Jacket is lying to me. Oh, yeah, you're right.

Because they were saying that's... That's Marksman. Yeah. I think they also did a look at his brain, too. Like a scan. There's a lot going on. Like a scan. There's a lot going on.

On this day in 2007, the eight-lane Interstate 35W bridge in Minneapolis collapsed into the Mississippi during rush hour, killing 13 people. Man, I remember that. Just the images were insane. What year? 07. That's also how I first learned that 35 went all the way to Minnesota. I know. I had no idea.

I was like, whoa. Cool. It really is interstate. And on this day in 2021, rapper DaBaby was cut from Lollapalooza's lineup following crude and homophobic remarks at a Miami music festival. Rolling loud. Yeah, he had about a two-month run where it looked like he was going to have some staying power.

Yeah. He had a feature with Dua Lipa, and she had to condemn him. You don't recover from that. You really don't recover from that. You really don't. Today's birthdays. Former Cowboy Bobby Carpenter is 41. Barbie. Picked off Tony Romo.

Former Cowboy Quentin Coriata is 54. Who was the other Ohio State? Was it A.J. Hawk? They had two Buckeye linebackers with long blonde hair at the same time. Had to be. Yeah. What do you mean they had? The Cowboys?

Ohio State. Oh, Ohio State. Yeah, probably. Edger and James, 46? Dude. One of my favorite players to watch. Miami? In his day.

Of course. He might have been on the seventh floor crew. Today's War Games winner is Madison Bumgardner. He is 35. War Games winner, somebody had emailed me asking about this. It's just the birthday list I look at every day

on baseballreference.com. This is my own game. It's stupid. But I just kind of scan up and down. Hey, I don't think it's stupid. Thanks, man. I looked for the highest war of that day's birthdays and today it was Madison Bumgarner.

Who was second? Oh, it was actually somebody you've heard of. I hope that the listener who was so intrigued by the full scholarly process behind this is satisfied. It was very close, as a matter of fact. So, Madison, 37.3. Adam Jones, 32.6.

Orioles center fielder. I don't know if you would have had him in that order. I probably would have. Simply AJ10 kind of flamed out pretty quick. Played in Japan for a little while, I think. Yeah, dude. And Bumgarner had like three. I bet he had three six or seven plus war seasons

to get you a prime of the career. Depends on if we're talking B-War or F-War. Greg Jeffries is 57. Who? He was 19.4 War. He, when I was a kid, he was on the cover of Sports Illustrated when he was still a prospect.

And that's how you learned about people. And he would swing the bat. He was a switch hitter. He would end up being a Met. And he would practice swinging the bat underwater. That's right. And so guess what I did? Guess what little Danny did?

He found himself a pool. And would swing that bat underwater. But just like the Herschel Walker workout that I also read in Sports Illustrated, I did it once. That's how training works, I think. I figured, well, I did it. But apparently Greg Jeffries would do it all the time for hours at a time. I think I thought Bumgarner was better than he was.

You know his second best season was when he was 21? That's the year... World Series? It might have been that year or the next year. I'm trying to think of how they ordered this year. But yeah. 21 years old. Had a 4.5-4 season.

So he did not have 2 or 3 seasons with 7. No, I had a 4.5-4 season. So he did not have two or three seasons with seven. No, he had a 4.4, 4.9, 4.3. No, not as dominant as I remember, though. Evgeny Malkin is 38. Mike Emmerich is 78. Chuck D is 64. Coolio is 78. Chuck D is 64. Coolio

is 61. He invented rap. Mm-hmm. Or perfected it. Your receptionist lady that says okie-dokie also says Coolio. Oh, yeah, probably.

Coolio! Adam Duritz is 60. I don't know who that is. Count yeah, probably. Coolio! Adam Duritz is 60. I don't know who that is. Counting Crows. Oh, God. That is my least favorite genre of music. How would you...

What genre is it? So it's not grunge. It's around that same time a little bit later. But I heard an ad on the ticket the other day for the pretenders you know the cranberries all that shit i hate hate hate that like 90 i don't even know what year you would call it but it's has no balls. I think I was a DJ during that era. It sucked so bad. I remember introing Cranberries. Yeah.

And it's kind of like what the- Is that like Linger? Yes. That- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, God. No thanks. Hey, good morning, everybody. Damn it. This is Accidentally In Love from the Cat and Crows. Yeah, this is... God.

All I can think about is, like, a movie with Meg Ryan in it. You know what I'm saying? This is the opening credits. Yeah. She's just looking for love. Walking through a park right now. Yeah. Ugh!

This is... Dude, I can't handle it. I would rather listen to current country day music than that. Tempest, Bledsoe is 51. That is Vanessa on The Cosby Show. And Jason Momoa is 45. Recently separated from Lisa Bonet. That was a nice May-December. Were they Siamese?

Okay. I like it. How old's Lisa Bonet? Yeah, I guess she's got to be much older than 45, huh? Yeah, I think they were like 15 years apart. Or she's 56, but still, it's pretty solid. For the lady man? Hollywood hunk.

Yeah. And you go 11 years older? Born on the state now dead William Clark of Lewis and? William B. Travis Texas Somehow a hero But he was the commander at the Battle of the Alamo And they got destroyed

Hell, they're on though Let's check that body count, bud Herman Melville The author of Moby Dick You've probably read that I attempted to read it probably about 10 years ago. I got it on the shelf somewhere. And you're just like, this sucks.

Couldn't do it. It sucks. I'm like, you want to read classics sometimes. Like, all right, I'm going to culture myself. I'm going to learn something. I'm going to be smart. People that know have read this. But then you realize that it's like the Celtics in the 50s or the Beatles.

Yeah, yeah. There just weren't anybody else doing this. Yeah, this book is not good. And then I read that it wasn't famous when he was alive. Like it was after he died. Closterman, right? Was it Closterman? The other one.

The other author of that generation that we – what's his name? Chuck Palahniuk? No, he's fiction. No, no, no. He would be on with Simmons. God damn it. I'm going to have to look at books on my shelf.

Now, I'm mad. I don't know. Not Klosterman. Oh, Malcolm Gladwell. Yeah. Okay. Don't you find those guys? Yeah, yeah.

They're not the same, but in the same kind of era they both emerged. Yeah. We started jerking it over both of them. Oh, my God. These guys are...

I do like them. Yeah, I'm a big Closeman fan. Gladwell's okay, but yeah. But I think it was a Gladwell, but it could have been Closeman, who is more of this... I'm actually almost positive it was Closeman, but I just wanted to move the show along. Yeah. Who had said that, at at the time it wasn't popular and it's weird how some things

we look back at history and it's like oh, he must have been great. He died before he, I believe before it ever really blew up. Right, and then it blew up because of the time and communism and stuff. It's like, oh, okay. Do you think he died penniless?

Definitely. I love that he died penniless? Definitely. I love that term. Penniless. It's like, well, here's a couple pennies. You feel better? Yeah. Nicholas. Nicholas.

And Nicholas is sitting right here. How about that? There's crazy stuff there. Maria Montessori. She receives much of my money. No more for now, though, lady. She's going to public school next year? Yeah.

Taylor Negron. He is the pizza delivery guy in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Okay, delivers it to Mr. Hand's class. That's right. By the way, just got an email from a local pizza place giving me a little happy birthday deal. Oh, yeah? Look who's dropping a hint that their birthday is on the horizon. I got one today about how their terms and conditions are changing.

I'm like, why would this ever affect me? Well, because you could end up in a human centipede. Like on South Park. And Jerry Garcia. Dead on this day, still dead. Calamity Jane. Deadwood. Corey Stringer.

That one hurt. Oh, yeah. You know, actually, it hurt, but also paid out significant dividends for me and my body. Yeah. Because once somebody dies from heat at practice... Were you in high school at that time? I think so, or around there.

And your coaches are like, damn it. We now have to take water breaks. Yeah. We may have to not stay out here for three hours on Labor Day. I definitely brought Corey Stringer up to a lot of my coaches at the time. Yeah. Hey, you know, Corey Stringer died. Yeah, that's a fun one.

Because he was weak. Yeah, weak. And died in 2020 on this day, that's a fun one. Because he was weak. Yeah, weak. And died in 2020 on this day, Wilford Brimley. Ah, the line. Who was not at the age he was when he filmed Cocoon. But he was much older. But who can tell? He was 85.

He was also the Quaker Oats commercial guy. Yeah, he got diabetes. Okay. And all I do is... Do you know that's what I do now? I told you that... I think I told you I was starting that. Diabetes?

No, no, no. I eat oats every morning now. That's my breakfast. Oh, yeah. I'm really worried about the road trip because I eat the same thing all the time. Yeah, you're... That's why those factory meals are sweet

because it is already prepared, healthy and stuff, but then I can have a little variety. But I have the exact same breakfast every morning where I cook some oats and then I put some frozen blueberries in it after I cook it. You should try the overnight oats. I don't know what that is. You guys know what that is?

Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Take like a mason jar and put your oats in there. Milk, protein powder, maybe a little bit of yogurt. And you can put your fruit on there the next day. But it like just makes a thing that tastes really good in the morning. So you don't cook the oats? No.

No. But it marinates in the stuff? Yeah. Huh. Yeah. Maybe I'll do that on the brochure. You can go peanut butter in there too. Yeah, Google overnight oats and you'll see some interesting options.

It's very simple. In fact, why don't you start with the ones at Eatsies? Those are really good as well. Really? They have overnight oats, yeah? Those are really good as well. Really? They have overnight oats. Yeah, that are really good. Okay. Will do. Will they build one of those tonight?

Are you going to go to breakfast with me every day, Blake? Yeah, do you want to? Why can't I? It's early. It's my game. Okay, well. Although I do like to prep in the morning. I see you guys don't as much. I'm not going to dignify that with a response. Anyway, we are at the point of closing remarks,

if indeed there are any. Nobody seems to be jumping up. Robert? Dustin, anything? Well, thanks for the chainsaw. I will say that, Robert. Should we take it? You're welcome.

Oh, we're taking it. It's right there. No, no, no. Should we take it on the trip? Oh! Who knows? You never know when you're going to need it. Who we'll run into.

Yeah. Maybe we'll need it to fend off a stalker. A criminal of some sort. a drug deal gone bad. You ever see that scene? Of what? Scarface. Oh, my God, yeah. It's with the chainsaw. But let's make the current version.

We'll make a lady Scarface and we'll use an electric chainsaw. Yeah. We'll make it woke Scarface and we'll use an electric chainsaw. Yeah. We'll make it woke. Woke Scarface. Yeah. Nothing, Nico? You just want to chill? One thing.

Just thank you guys. I've been listening to the ticket forever. Y'all have been such a source of consistency and levity in the hard times. I'm just very grateful for y'all. That's awesome. Do you approve of Blake's... And thank you. Do you approve of Blake's technical proficiency here? Yes. So far, so good. Yep. I like just very grateful for you all. That's awesome. Do you approve of Blake's technical

proficiency here? Yes, so far so good. I like what I see. Well, you'll know for sure if you see this show up as a notification in your email in half an hour or not. Looks good. It hasn't crashed yet. There are times it doesn't make it. Alright, man. Well, thanks, Nico.

Got anything? I was just just gonna say i didn't want to interrupt earlier when y'all were talking about horror movies on christmas i can do you one worse than a horror movie the first year my wife and i were married she wanted to watch boy in the striped pajamas what is that it's a very sad hol movie. Oh. It's a holiday to be thankful, I guess. I also love your hat. Thank you. I did have to take it off when your daughter came in.

I was like, oh. What does it say? It's a Titleist hat. Like, if you just look at it, you assume it's a Titleist hat, but instead it says titties. In an American flag font. That's a very Lake hat. I love it's a Titleist hat, but instead it says titties. In an American flag font. That's a very Lake hat. I love it. All right, well, we'll see you tomorrow.

We got to go before this becomes a zoo. Adios, mofo. I can't stop this feeling Deep inside of me Girl, you just don't realize What you're doing When you hold me In your arms so tight Dream that we move, everything's alright

I'm hooked on a feeling I'm high on the leaving That you're in love with me I'm hooked on a fucking tool