The Dumb Zone FREE - The DumbZone 6-10-24
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The Dunza, Dunza, Dunza, Dunza, Dunza.
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The Dumb Zone.
All right, all right, all right, all right, all right. I inadvertently hit that dumb zone stinger, but then it kind of worked.
It did work.
Hey, thanks, man.
You're the best.
Happy Monday.
Me.
We don't have any Blake today.
It's just me, Dan McDowell.
Hey, I'm Jay Kemp.
Nobody else wants to.
We have video man.
We have intern woman.
Nobody else wants to.
We have video man.
We have intern woman.
I refer to her as a woman, don't you?
Is that good?
Why do you laugh at her being a woman?
Well, she has a name, but I do agree with you that I am not a fan of calling adult females girls.
Yeah, you don't want intern girl. The infantilization of the female
has always been odd to me.
Although you've wanted her to call you daddy.
No, no.
In fact, you and I have talked about this.
I think that's like the weirdest sexual kink you can have.
It's a weird bit from the past, for sure.
I think some people still do it you can call me blake jones i can call you there you go yeah then you'd be in that little facebook club with blake but i mean you know dudes who
i don't know if they request it or like it or something
it's weird.
But it used to be a part of pop culture.
I've told you that in the past.
Yeah, mine's not on, but...
The movie Freaky Friday.
The original Freaky Friday.
Yeah.
Which is from sometime before I was born, but it was...
When they switched bodies.
So the mother is now in the body of the daughter.
The daughter had to call dad for something.
Or excuse me, then the mother called dad for her husband
for something later in the day that she needed to take care of.
And she called him daddy and he's like,
oh, I kind of like that yeah i don't
so that was like embedded into my young brain right and that's the whole reason of wokeness
right you want to just change some of that stuff that's the whole reason not the whole reason but
you know no i i know what you're saying though and as i've told you before and i still maintain
uh my my generation changed this.
Right.
Mine acknowledged it, but was like, it's all right.
I don't know.
The one before yours was like-
Hardcore into it.
Yeah.
We would like young women.
Right.
Rock songs, everything.
Right.
She's barely 15. it was like yes hell yeah
right let's have a song yeah and then yours yours yours did a little bit we started though
we started into realizing the milf is a better deal yeah and then mine was like you took it to
the next level what if we just make it a whole a whole category right we didn't have the term milf uh we did have some
terms i think uh me and the buddies it was a dm look at the dm that's a doable mom doable mom okay
yeah and it was like oh yeah i'm kind of more into the dm than i am the the girl my ds yeah so DS. Yeah, so. Wow.
So, yes, but then your generation said, you know what?
You guys are kind of right here.
Let's take it.
It's like any invention, innovation.
You take it.
Spread offense.
Yeah, yeah.
You see, there's something good here, but what if we named it?
Yeah.
And then.
Expanded it.
Made a whole genre all about the MILF.
Like, that didn't exist before. Yeah.
And then they took it too far with the GILF. Like, let's
just slow down. But I don't think anybody actually
Do a search. I mean, it's out there.
But
I think it just goes to show that
my people are the most
pro-woman.
Like, yeah, I mean, your whole,
your generation is making all my favorite movies
from when I was a kid, just all women.
Like, why can't just the Ghostbusters be guys?
Right.
Oh, Star Wars has to have a lady now.
She's going to be saving the day.
We all know that can't happen.
Women superheroes.
I mean, our women superheroes were like Wonder Woman.
But she was totally hot and stuff, too.
Right.
That's the only way.
I'll tie you up and everything.
Make you tell the truth.
That was her big thing.
Was it?
Yeah, the lasso.
She lassoed you.
You had to tell the truth, I think.
I don't know anything about the lore of Wonder Woman.
Well, that's why Rachel's here.
Do you?
No.
See?
They're their own worst enemies.
I think I just realized I have no idea what Wonder Woman is.
Not positive either, right? She like a phenomenal set of cans.
Yes, that's part of the whole thing.
But canonically-
Can there be a flat Wonder Woman?
No.
Well, I mean, I think, you know,
my idea was when they remake it,
they just have it be Kevin James.
Why is that?
Like if we're going to do this
whole bit, like, let's cut it both ways.
Oh, okay.
All right.
I mean, then
before you know it, then LeBron will be in the WNBA
if we start doing that.
That's what I've heard from multiple politicians.
Yeah. But I just
don't know, like, you know, I know
vaguely what Superman does does right like he was born
on another planet he can fly yes he's got superhuman strength right he gets his power from
our son yeah i sort of know what batman does maybe there's revenge and is really strong and stuff
yeah i don't have a clue what wonder woman does i mean she fights crime that's
for sure it looks like based on the youtube video today she skateboards yeah but and she uh gives
young dan some of his funny feelings helps him come of age as it were where young dan learns that
you don't want to use soap you want to use some kind of a
hand cream that's more moisturizing the soap will dry everything out do women know about that
how young boys have to discover themselves and and how to discover how to discover
To discover how to discover.
Elaborate.
Well, at first you're like, well, anything will work.
But then through a process of elimination,
that probably usually involves like dry skin.
Yeah.
And scaling.
If you do it too often. You can call it that if you want.
Which we do. You do eventually figure out. You can call it that if you want. Which we do.
You do eventually figure out.
You have a kid, right?
Mm-hmm.
Boy or girl?
A boy.
You'll get there.
I'm terrified now.
Yeah.
How old is he?
Four.
Okay.
Almost five.
Well, if it was young Jake, you probably have another two or three years.
Young Dan, you probably got another good 15.
Six, seven, yeah.
At least.
Jake matured early.
Unfortunately.
Which is why he likes the old lady.
I had the internet.
Yeah.
Want to meet Rachel?
We do got to do a weekend check.
I don't have much from the weekend check but i do have
my daughter is now back in town my uh younger daughter woke is uh is woke and she's fully back
in town yeah she uh came back from france immediately went on a little mini vacation
with her friend whose parents have like a a thing in florida
probably a house condo whatever yeah so then she she went there for a week and now she's back
for good went to chan's last night oh heck yeah because we do love a little chan's mongolian grill
fantastic and one thing that i saw when picking up because i pick up food every night for the
family you pick up from chance uh no no no okay just making sure because i feel like you want
that bad boy hot off the grill yeah we did a chance we used to pick up during a pandy
but um you know everybody did that yeah so we we always do the Chan's. I called you a hero at that time.
We do the Chan's Andes chaser
because Andes right around the corner.
Nice.
And so maybe a little Chandys,
a little Chandys Sunday night.
Not going to play?
Well.
That's all right.
I think it plays for you.
They don't all play.
I don't think that everybody's doing Chandys,
but.
So,
but when picking up food a couple nights prior to that, it was like, I think it was Friday and we had been inside all day.
And do you ever like just really enjoy the 100 degree heat to where I just want to sit and bake in it for like four or five minutes.
So I was picking up food from Duff's.
Ooh, nice plate.
Who's that for?
The wife gets the chicken wings from Duff's.
Sometimes I'll get the veggie burger from there.
Okay.
But Eden and I opted to go next door to the Poke Bowl place.
Eden and I opted to go next door to the Poke Bowl place.
So as I'm walking out to vehicle, I decide, oh, man, I need to just sit in the heat.
This feels really good on my bald head, and I've just been in the cold all day.
So I sat out on the bench for like five or ten minutes just soaking in the heat outside of Duff's.
Okay.
And so now I'm people watching, which is always fun.
And this couple... Yeah, the diverse crowd you can see at the Duff's in Southlake.
Well, this couple parks, and the dude gets out of the car,
and he hustles around the front of the car
and opens the door,
and then the lady gets out,
and then they walk into Duff's.
And they were our age, right?
They're, I don't know, 30s, 40s.
They didn't look exceptionally old, okay?
So they just seemed normal.
They weren't 80.
Yeah, they weren't like you would think, you know, that's like from a bygone era.
Yeah.
They were black.
I'm just trying to paint the picture, so I don't know.
Is there any other-
Why'd you lean into that so far?
But is there any other reason?
I don't think you would even consider this.
The I'm going to park, walk.
And they weren't like really well-dressed.
It wasn't like prom or a.
Yeah.
They're going out for an.
They're going to Duff's.
Yeah.
They're both wearing shorts and like a concert t-shirt.
One of like, they just looked ratty, but I've just not seen like, like me.
They look normal.
They looked like me.
Yes.
I would not.
like me they look normal they looked like me yes i would not um but my my mom and stepdad do have like a relationship that's that's not that far away from this like my mom despite the fact that
she's been self-employed from about the time she was 16 years old i can't tell you how many times she's ever pumped her own gas.
She doesn't open doors.
Ever.
That could be difficult.
Like she'll stand and wait?
I mean, she does,
but if my stepdad is there,
he's opening the door.
He orders for her.
Whoa, that's something. So yeah, I would definitely, he's opening the door. He orders for her. Whoa, that's something.
So yeah, I would definitely, I'll open the door for sure.
I just do that as a matter of course, but probably because I was raised that way.
But ordering for someone, like does she have to tell him what she wants in advance or does
he decide?
No, it's not like that.
She tells him.
No, it's not like that.
She tells him.
And again, she's made her own money for pretty much her whole life.
Yeah, she's like... Extremely successful.
She's vice president strong or vice principal strong woman, right?
Pretty much, yeah.
Yeah.
But she has very old school proclivities, I suppose.
How old are you, Rachel?
30.
Okay.
So how do you fly on all these things?
Well, I'm just learning we're the same age.
Like we're all around the same age.
So I'm taking that in right now.
No, my husband does not like open doors sometimes, but not constantly.
Yeah, I meant we're all in the same age group.
We're not 80.
An 80-year-old might open a door for somebody.
So he says he likes to say that, like that we're all the same age.
Like we went to high school together.
But it's, I mean, he's not even close.
It's okay.
But anyways, I will open the door for anybody, really.
I don't even really feel like it's a male-female thing.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll open it for a dude.
If I'm there first.
That makes you bi.
You're a bi door opener.
There you go.
The weirdest part, though, is when it's a dude and he's too far away.
That is always awkward.
Like, you're waiting, like, should I wait?
And then he starts doing hustle foot.
Yeah.
He's like, oh.
Or you hope he does.
I actually hope he doesn't.
Yeah.
But, like, when he starts doing little.
Yeah.
I don't like that too much, but.
That's a pretty uneventful weekend if the biggest thing that happened to me was i saw a guy open his car door for a lady but i do i do he was
driving he ran around i do understand what you're saying about just a few moments in the heat because
uh i went and did something that every parent should do way more than they do, which is I got a real car wash at our old haunt, Dan.
That's like an hour and 20, hour and 30 minute job.
But like.
Did you go take a walk?
I did.
Yeah.
I took two or three walks.
Like every 20 minutes.
The one down on 26?
Yeah, yeah.
Great Fine Highway?
Across from the Tornadic Sams.
Yeah.
Like every 15, 20 minutes when I'm sitting in their waiting room, I'm like, I got to get up and walk.
I'll walk down the street and go to Academy or something.
Just to hang out.
Yeah, walk through.
Do a little browsing.
Maybe try and find some kairi gear
i was trying to find a kairi jersey tee to wear this week not the shoes uh not the moccasins
i did not go inside academy but i did walk through the academy parking lot okay and it was like 98
degrees outside it was three o'clock in the afternoon. Yeah. But I still just have to get outside and I can't just sit in there and watch college baseball.
Yeah, it's amazing how many people will just sit at the car wash for that hour.
And talk.
Yeah.
Like people are just having small talk.
Then there'll be a guy on his phone.
On speaker.
Yeah.
Horrible.
But that car detail though oh my gosh and it's not even like a full detail the full detail you have to like drop the car off do you
get like but do you get the uh interior done and it's all like it's the only reason i'm there
it's kind of it's kind of greasy or something like the stuff they wipe it off with and i love it
do you i don't know what that is, but I love it.
So you're ready for a nice drive to Austin?
I am ready for a nice drive to Austin.
I am free of veggie straws.
What is that?
Is that for little kids?
It's like, they almost kind of look like Cheetos, but they're way less dense, like wafers almost.
And they call them veggie straws despite the fact that they're just made out of potatoes.
But they make them green, and you're like, hmm.
And orange.
Yeah.
Kids eating a veggie, they're not.
It's 99% of a potato chip or a Cheeto, those are just crushed up is a potato a vegetable
well it grows in the ground so yeah right yeah but i mean that didn't fly when i was a kid
is a tomato a fruit yes
but these things that you see right there, both sea salt and cheddar flavored, it's like someone fed them through a wood chipper and then just dumped them in my car.
And it'll be that way in a week.
We used to be full of Cheerios.
Cheerios are, yeah, it's a big player.
Because you're trying to keep the kids healthy as long as you can until they realize Cheerios suck?
Blair. Because you're trying to keep the kids healthy as long as you can until they realize
Cheerios suck? Until they realize
like, uh,
what if I had the ones that have marshmallows in them?
Ooh, I,
we've never. No, no, no, it's just Lucky Charms.
Lucky Charms. Basically. Oh, okay. But like when
they figure out like, but you know, like the brown
parts sucks.
Yeah. Yeah.
Cheerios, then I think it was an era of
goldfish, but we never did the veggie shows. I don't know if they were around, but I think it was an era of goldfish.
But we never did the veggie shows.
I don't know if they were around, but I will tell you, dude,
especially with all these late night sports,
I will crush some goldfish.
And Nutter Butters.
I don't know.
I bought them for my son.
Nutter Butters.
I haven't thought about that in forever.
I know.
That's what I feel like I feel like. I'm not a sweets guy.
But yeah, like the fact that I'm having to be up at 10 o'clock, maybe a little something,
something making me hungry.
Goldfish have been a big player over the last couple months.
So I got my car washed.
That's pretty much all I did.
We went to
Splash Pad Saturday.
Went to Wall Ball Park. Had a
double park day.
Because when
it's 100 degrees outside, you literally
just have nothing to do
other than get outside with your kids.
It's a long day. They don't just
chill out. But where's them out?
That's the whole goal.
Just make them tired enough so that they'll fall asleep.
Splash pad rules, though.
Dude, it's $3 per person if you're a resident.
What is that?
The park in Grapevine?
The one over by the elementary school.
Dove?
Parr Park?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dove Elementary?
Parr Park is down in Colleyville.
Are you sure about that? Nope.
You may be right. Pretty sure it is.
But it's the one that you're thinking of.
Yeah. There's a park and there's a spot
behind it. At Dove Elementary. Yeah.
And it's...
We were there for two and a half, three hours.
Yeah, they've made that thing
so much better than it was when I had little kids.
It does look like it's had a facelift.
It's awesome.
Both kids love it, really.
What's your deal, Rachel?
So Rachel is our first official intern.
Yay.
Yay.
Yeah, no deal just trying to make blake proud you are not the traditional age for an intern if you're 30
years old because most would think of that as like some kind of a college kid i am a college kid
okay you're a college lady. I'm a college lady.
You're a non-traditional student.
I am.
Yeah.
Thank you for saying lady.
Yes.
Man, I hated my stepmom went to college about the same time I was going to college.
And my dad would brag on, you know, her grades and all this and another A and this.
And then they look at my 2.3 and 4.0.
Yeah.
And the thing was, OK, yeah.
You haven't figured it out.
I got.
Yeah.
But you live at home with this is all this is your whole life is going to college.
Yeah.
Now you might have more going on.
This is your whole life is going to college.
Yeah.
Now, you might have more going on.
But she also did have a little kid and all that.
But she didn't have to have a job and all this other stuff going on.
Anyway, I hated it because it was always like, oh, look how well she's doing.
How come you can't be doing that?
And I'm like, you don't understand all the social pressure I have. It's really high.
To get high, to get drunk.
It was Long Island Ice Tea Night last night.
Right.
Yeah.
Nickel beer.
Yeah.
So mine.
Trying to score ladies.
The two things I have on this were my dad went to college when he was like in his late 20s.
And did like phenomenally.
But he'd already been kicked out once.
And I'm like,
that doesn't count.
Like you don't get to be like,
so he wants to brag about the time when he kicked.
He did awesome.
Yeah.
It's like,
all right.
Yeah.
You know,
I had like a 3.8 over a 60 hour period.
And I'm like,
yeah,
but they kicked you out the first time because you had a negative 0.8.
Kind of like the Kyrie of college guys. out the first time because you had a negative 0.8.
Kind of like the Kyrie of college guys.
Exactly.
You figured it out.
Yeah.
The second thing, though, and I'm not saying Rachel's like this, but it's the citizen in the college course that just asked too many questions.
It's always somebody who is about her age.
Oh, yeah.
Ruining it for all of us.
Yeah.
In there.
Like sit in the front.
Really eager.
Yeah.
They really care about their grades.
Not high.
Right.
No.
They didn't go to bed at 4 a.m.
and just wake up after three hours of sleep.
Splash a little water on your face
and show up here.
And they just like ask
incessant questions usually good questions but i just don't need it
no that's not me i'm happy to hear that most traditional suit i do remember ej
the non-traditional student who lived in our dorm he was 28 in a dorm in a dorm? In a dorm.
Is EJ the same one that I just heard as I'm going back in time about the crabs?
No.
Okay.
EJ wasn't involved in any crab situation. I was like, I can't remember who with the name of the person who you had to ask for help.
EJ was quite, was quite.
It rules she knows you had crabs.
Yeah.
Your dad flicked them on some other person too. That's very true. uh, was quite, it rules. She knows you had crabs. Yeah. Well,
that flicked them on some other person too.
So that's very true.
It's very true,
but he's not sitting here right now.
No,
he's not.
Um,
no,
EJ was for a creepy dude.
He wasn't foreign.
Oh,
he was a creepy dude though.
And I just remember it really stood out to me because I was 18 and he's 28.
And it was near the end of the school year.
And he said he was really fired up because there was a lot of tours coming through.
So, you know, it would be current college or high school seniors.
That's extremely creepy. We're on tours and he said it was awesome because he got to scout
the
fresh batch of
the new batch of
freshman pussy.
That's just awful.
And just coming out of EJ's mouth,
it just felt, and I knew him for the year
and I thought he was like... I'm going to be totally
honest, it didn't feel good
coming out of your mouth. But he was like I'm gonna be totally honest it didn't feel good coming out
of your mouth but he was like really excited about it I mean we would go like we would go
like yell at the parents but there was no like intent behind it yeah and you were probably
one or two years older than them at most or E Or EJ was, you know, a good decade.
Yeah.
But that was a fun time, like going down to the quad on Friday.
But if EJ was 60 yelling at a 50-year-old, nobody would say anything.
I'd be like, oh, okay, yes, he should be going after her.
It's a normal relationship.
So that's why I'm now standing up for EJ.
And that's very big and bold of you.
Who never had crabs and i'm trying to
think since i'm online i'm at arizona state but it's fully online would that just be like only
fans or porn if i were to like try and score of some nature like right i guess it's equivalent
i think i think you would probably have to yeah i mean it's in the it's in the digital around
campus like looking for like is there's any like specific to Arizona that would be weird it would
be weird you are heavily online I just saw you arguing with your husband online what he just
said he said uh asked about uh Dan in a book recommendation because the Stars were doing
poorly and he's a huge Stars fan
and he was like going online acting like
he wasn't
a Stars fan.
I was like, hey, listen, I will take all the
Stars stuff out of your office and
I don't know. I have no
idea what she's saying right now.
Like their little argument about
like, so you're a hardcore Stars fan and he is too.
Not hardcore.
I mean, middle.
I'd probably say Cowboys, Stars, Mavs, Rangers.
That's my like order.
What's your order?
Me?
Yeah.
Rangers, baby.
That's right.
That's your number one?
All baseball.
Not Cowboys.
I have never.
Wings.
I've never had an online interaction with my wife.
I feel like that's how it should be.
That's a brag.
Mark it down for the brag.
I think she does have a Twitter.
Like, do you think she's keep watching you?
Maybe.
I think once a long time ago. doesn't tweet me though a long time ago
my wife hit me up for a facebook friend request and i never said no oh you left it on red you
didn't even say no yeah i'm new to it and i and we weren't like in the same room it's not like i
like tweeted him as he's next to me. But people do that, though.
Somewhere else.
And I was just like, I saw it online and thought it was wrong.
It was fake.
Hashtag fake.
Yes, and you need to tell everyone that he was wrong on that.
I didn't think it was everyone.
It was on a thread in a comment.
You're on Twitter.
It's everyone.
It's the world.
Oh.
It's Trump. It's Elon.... You're in, you're on Twitter. It's everyone. It's the world. Oh. It's Trump. It's Elon.
Oh. I mean, potentially.
Potentially.
I don't know.
Never again. Oh, come on.
Just be yourself.
On today's program, I just
want to alert you for what's coming up.
I now care. Speaking
of being online all weekend.
About women's basketball.
I now care about the women's Olympic basketball team selections.
I am pissed, and we're going to talk about that,
but first we're going to do Mav stuff.
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, let's go.
It's okay.
How about this?
Ball, give me, give me, give me the ball because I'm going to dunk it.
Ball, ball, ball, ball, ball, basketball.
Give me, give me, give me the ball because I'm going to dunk it.
Hey, there was one other thing I did this weekend that I wanted to make sure you knew about.
I listened to a lot of Grateful Dead.
Oh, really?
You're trying to figure out the whole catalog?
Yeah. Got a lot of emails. Dead. Oh, really? You're trying to figure out the whole catalog? Yeah.
Got a lot of emails.
What's your favorite song?
Shakedown Street.
So that's a real thing?
There's a song named that?
Mm-hmm.
You've seen him in concert.
I heard that too.
I have,
but I don't remember anything
from that night except
leaving the keys.
The balloon?
Leaving my key in the car door.
And yes, sucking on a big giant balloon and then exhaling it into the balloon and then sucking it back again.
Double up.
Yeah.
Fantastic.
And people telling me at the time, oh, that's like you're killing a whatever, 100,000 brain cells each time you do it.
Yeah, okay.
Whatever, bro. I got cells each time you do it. Yeah, okay. Whatever, bro.
I got plenty.
Look at my hand.
See it go across like you could follow it back and forth.
Anyway, game two.
It's over.
Mavs at Boston.
Come on, man.
It's over.
I don't want to hear this from you.
It's over.
Let me start you with this then. If you're going to say that, I want to let you hear Kyrie from his post-game
press conference. So they've really made their identity here. They want to take care of home
court. And now it's our job to go home and do the same. Being in the finals before, down 0-2,
I have a little experience in this.
Didn't play particularly well in the first two games in that series, too, that I'm referring to.
So now I'm just really leaning in on what I've experienced, what I've learned,
and some of the lessons I've been able to make sense of in how to come back in this series
because it is going to be a possession-by-possession thing,
and it is going to be the hardest thing that we've ever done.
So I think we got a great feel, a great experience here in Boston,
what the finals is like for our group.
And now we go home, kind of shake off the cobwebs a little bit
and just be prepared for another fight.
How do you feel now?
I feel like I am happy that he's on the team.
I feel like I'm happy that he's the one who's saying those words that his teammates can hear.
But I just think they're outgunned, man.
It does really feel like not only outgunned, like talent-wise.
Yeah.
Like they've got, like rank the top whatever, five.
So that's what I was going to say.
Eight, ten players even.
I was thinking about that this morning.
I was going to ask you
who's the Mavs third best player?
Sometimes it's Lively.
He might be the third most important.
PJ put up
27, 29, 19
in the Oklahoma City series.
Certain games it was him.
Yeah, yeah.
I could get to like six with Boston
and I could grab you a guy
who you wouldn't even have to think about
would be the third best player on the Mavericks.
Is it Derek White?
Is it Chris Stops?
Right.
Drew Holiday leads him in scoring last night.
He's an NBA champion.
I mean...
The Mavs clearly have the best player yes I would still
say clearly but Kyrie hasn't played like he's one of the top five players in this series and it's
really weird to me because because they're going to need that they need kind of like Kyrie and
Luka to go berserk one two or one three 1-3 as far as best players in the series.
And the weirdest thing about it is, from the Kyrie standpoint,
he's just been so mentally strong seemingly for the last year and a half with his team.
And maybe a lot of it's bullshit.
I don't know.
But he says the right things.
And he looks rattled.
Yeah, and he's kind of jawing with the fans.
Don't love that.
It's like he got in that game that he said he's not going to get into.
Like, that's Luka's game.
Yeah.
When Luka does that, I'm like, okay, that—
Like, Kyrie is the calm guy that doesn't care.
Exactly.
Like, when Luka's mouthing off, it would be like if you got in a fight.
They'd be like, well, that's the other guy.
Yeah. I'm not the calm guy you're not the fight guy you're luca and i'm kairi and they're fighting or he's fighting
like demons that concern me to be honest so maybe you'll be better whenever they get home
and then the other thing about it is you're not going to be able to beat a better team shooting 25% from three.
Yeah, well...
Yeah, and we
kept thinking, Boston won't
shoot lights out like they did in game one.
They don't have to.
And they didn't. And that's the concerning thing.
Yeah.
Kyrie is now 0-12
against Boston since he stepped
on Lucky the Leprechaun.
I thought it was like 14.
No.
Still, I know he hasn't won, which is hilarious.
Let's rank the things that people care about.
So the star.
I was not aware that Lucky was in that.
Didn't Baker Mayfield plant a flag?
That was a pretty big deal.
That was on.
At Ohio State or something?
At Ohio State, yeah.
Any, this, yeah, you know how it is.
No, I don't.
Like, I don't think that, like, if Jalen Brunson stepped on the Hornet.
Has anyone done that in the White House?
Everybody would freak out.
What if Putin stepped on the presidential seal that's in the White House?
Yes, the Hornet would not make anyone, yeah, the Maverick logo.
Don't care.
Just don't care at all.
logo don't don't care just don't care at all but then of course you know he did have to kind of
say something in the post game uh after game one saying that it wasn't that loud and i do think it was louder yesterday yeah it's i mean in the event that they get back there it's
gonna be even louder was that the first time they lost two straight in the playoffs?
Or did they lose two straight against?
No.
I don't think so.
They haven't lost two straight in forever.
Regular season included.
Yeah, they just didn't look like nearly as good of a team.
And Boston's defense is insane.
And it seemed like their thing is I mean they're clearly playing it differently than
you know the
all three other teams
previous opponents have in the playoffs
where they're not doubling Luka at all
they barely even help
and so now
the Mavs are not making any corner threes
that's one of their big weapons.
I looked that up this morning, and I don't think I was aware of this fact.
They had the highest percentage of their shots as corner threes of any team in the NBA this year.
What do you mean?
10% of any shot is a corner three or something?
It was 12.
Okay.
Yeah, but it was the highest percent of any team in the NBA.
They've taken seven through two games, and they've made one.
And they're not, there's no lob game either.
The rim is just not there.
Which is another, like those are two big options.
It's the two options.
I mean, Luka can hit from mid-range,
and that's why he can still score 28 to 30 points.
But I was wondering in the first half,
when Luka was going nuts, he's got 20 points,
they are kind of saying,
okay, you beat us then,
which is weird,
because it's like these other teams that double him,
he still gets his 30 against all that
right and now they're saying okay but he's got to work so hard even to get his 30 without being
doubled yep and he looks kind of exhausted by the end of the game yeah which seems to be their game
plan like yeah okay go nuts in the first quarter go off off, King. Yeah, and we're going to make you guard on the other end.
Yeah, they're attacking him at certain times.
Yeah.
So, I don't know.
There's a reason they won 64 games.
And it looks like Kyrie's great defense isn't what it was against this team.
Yeah, and I mean, his defense, it was never really great.
It was more like cheeky.
You know?
It wasn't like he's locking anybody down
on the perimeter.
He's just part of like a team defense effort
and occasionally would get his hand
into passing lanes and
get out on the break.
That's the other thing, too.
It's not just that they're not hitting any threes.
Their transition game sucks right now. And part of that is the fact that the Celtics aren't missing.
I mean, they didn't shoot great from three, but overall the Celtics offense looks like
pretty functional. And the Mavericks, for whatever reason, they're not a team that runs unless they get stops.
And I've always thought,
you have a 6'8 point guard.
He rebounds the ball really, really well.
He's huge.
He can make these 45-foot passes.
I've always thought they should be a team
that plays faster.
But if you're not going to play fast...
They kind of were earlier in the playoffs,
weren't they?
They did increase the pace, and they did it down play earlier in the playoffs weren't they they did increase the pace
and they did it uh down the stretch in the regular season also but for whatever i mean they were slow
last night they were slow they didn't hit shots they didn't get to the rim
they were just outgunned and probably outcoached also.
I don't know whatever Jason Kidd's bit was of like,
hey, that's what Jalen Brown does.
He's their best player.
Was he trying to anger them as well?
I guess if that was the move over the weekend, but.
So that's throwing shade at Jason Tatumum i guess didn't seem to work even if he's right
as a two-way player i mean jalen brown's fantastic but i don't know i thought that was a weird move
from kid yeah and then the supporting cast like no's, despite the fact that I guess people are making fun of ESPNs,
I kind of like them getting dragged left and right on their halftime show for lack of content.
It's just, it's like mostly just ads.
Two complete minutes of analysis to their pregame show where one of them was saying that he's expected Hardaway to have a
big night. And he got the DNP. I was almost wondering, hey, let's try Hardaway now.
I'm with you.
Because Maxie comes in and just is, he's been horrible. It looks like he's hesitating to shoot.
It looks like he's hesitating to shoot.
When he does shoot, it's not even close.
Josh Green, we're giving him some play.
I think it was.
He's firing up brick after, like, it feels like these guys,
in the end, you're going to say, yeah, okay, they finally got some NBA Finals experience.
That's good for them.
Like Josh Green, you know, he won't be that bad next time.
Even Derek Lively, to a certain extent.
You know, like, it's bigger.
Everything is a little bit bigger.
And the Celtics have done this.
Right.
And that's their goal.
They know if they lose this series,
it would be a huge disappointment.
It's not good enough just to get there. Whereas the
Mavs, like we talked before the series,
they're going to be
fine. This is a huge victory.
Everybody's getting extensions.
Let's re-up the GM,
the coach.
In Boston,
they're going to wait on extensions to see
because if they don't win the title, we're not sure we should keep this coach.
Or if you've been extended, you might get traded.
Or we'll buy you out, one or the other.
And that's very different from the last three teams the Mavericks have played.
On one hand, the Clippers are washed and backsliding.
On one hand, the Clippers are washed and backsliding.
The next two series, you're talking about two teams that they had already outplayed their paper.
I mean, maybe not the Thunder because, you know, they won a bunch of games, but they are still super, super young.
And nobody expected the Timberwolves to be in the Western Conference Finals, like, at the start of the year.
They have a 21-year-old superstar.
They'll be fine.
Boston needs to win now. Same thing with them.
That was their thing with the Mavs.
I think the Mavs thought,
this could be our time.
We've been to the Western Conference Finals.
Kyrie certainly has.
But you can't have two for 15
or two for 16 from the, quote, others.
Yeah, and you need—
You're just not going to have that.
But you also need fourth quarter Kyrie.
What we came to know is the big closer.
Especially if you're able to keep it semi-close late.
Which it was.
They were outplayed for 42 minutes of that game last night.
I know they had a lead early, but it never felt like they were the better team.
So if you're going to be able to get it to five late,
you're going to have to have him take over.
And yes, that was a foul, by the way.
It was a horrible goal.
It's not why they lost, but...
Well, let's rewind.
The early P.J. Washington foul
that they challenged, and they lose that.
You would have liked to have that one back.
But that seemed ridiculous.
I don't even understand.
I'm with J.J. Redick on that one.
Yeah.
I don't understand that rule at all.
Yeah.
So if you block a ball, but the hand is part of it, that's hand is part of ball.
That's good.
Right.
But in the process of blocking it,
then the ball comes loose and you now must somehow magically take your hand
away from his hand.
It is a matter of like,
it doesn't make any sense.
Centimeters.
Yeah.
Expecting somebody to be able to do that and codifying that in the
rule book feels pretty ridiculous to me as well so i mean they went to break pretty quick they
but it seemed like the analysis uh the uh jj at least heading to break seemed like he was
saying yeah handball that's that's going to be overturned.
That's going to be overturned.
So now you don't have the challenge for later.
And now what are we talking about?
That's the, is it the Derek, was it PJ trying to dunk?
It was PJ.
PJ.
Yeah, Derek White block, where he was actually pushed in the back as well.
And would have liked to hear some analysis from JJ and Doris on that one.
And they never really called it out.
Mike Breen did when they were going to break once.
Which I thought was cool.
Like he actually showed, hey, you know, that we were all going nuts about like three minutes ago and no one said a word.
Let's take a look at it.
And who knows?
I mean, there's 50 seconds left and that makes it a three-point game.
So you still need to stop.
You still need at least one bucket, if not two.
But to me, that was obvious.
Yeah, and so, yeah, let's see. Before the Mavs
9-0 run,
it was
again, Kyrie trying to take over. I'm
looking at two. Kyrie missed three.
Boston makes two threes around
him. Okay, then they go on. They
take a timeout. Then they go on the run.
Then yes.
The P.J. foul that wasn't called.
Jalen Brown hits
a two to make a seven-point lead.
The Mavs call a timeout
and
oddly enough, come out of that timeout
and apparently during the timeout decided
let's just give up and not even keep trying.
Yeah, let's just... In this league.
Like, why not?
Let's, let's, for all we make fun of Garrett for banging timeouts,
let's just, let's just do some quick fouls and make them.
Yeah.
If they make the free throws, okay.
Are we worried about the spread?
What are we doing here?
It was weird.
They're not going to win.
They're not going to win.
But you would kind of like to see. They're not going to win. They're not going to win. But you would kind of like to see.
They're not going to win.
However, in game one, they had a Kyrie three that could have cut it to five late in the game.
And last night, if that P.J. Fowl either gets called or he converts that dunk,
they're down three with less than a minute to play.
They're not that far apart,
but they're not near as good as Boston is.
I saw this, like, I thought I might have sent you this
the other day, but I saw this Will Smith clip the other day.
This is, I know, like a really weird left turn
where he said the difference between 90% and 100% is 50%.
And it like really, really spoke to me.
Like you can be good, but if you want to be great, the difference between good and great is not 10%.
And that's how it feels watching the Mavs and the Celtics to me right now.
I mean, it's like Luka versus Kyrie.
Kyrie's really, really good.
But the difference is not a little bit.
There's a superstar and there's all-stars.
Yeah.
And that's how it feels.
It feels like the Celtics are at 100%, the Mavericks are at 90%,
and it doesn't feel like they're 10% apart.
Right.
Which is why it's inequitable the amount superstars
even get paid.
You think they're overpaid,
but...
You could pay them
as much as you want.
Yeah.
That's how much they mean.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
I mean, look.
They fought him hard
all the way, Shoopy.
I still really like...
I like PJ a lot.
He's going to be here.
Yeah. I like having him. I like PJ a lot. He's going to be here. Yeah.
I like having him.
Yeah.
It's huge.
I think he's...
Matrix-y.
He's a keeper.
I like Derek Lively a lot, but...
PJ's young, too.
Is he really?
Yeah, I think he's like 25.
Oh, wow.
Gafford?
25.
Gafford actually look good? they're in good shape going forward it's just it's just the west is going to be tough so is the rest of the west and yeah you know the biggest thing though is uh
and i feel like we're already like shoveling you know the dirt on their grave which perhaps is fine. Pivotal game three.
Very pivotal then.
They needed a year like this for the chill-out-on-Luca-leaving front.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, they got bounced in round one.
I mean, hell, last year they missed a play-in.
Right.
No, things are very positive.
But.
It can change in a minute.
It's the NBA.
You are looking at a, you are looking at a historically great team.
Boston?
Yeah, as far as their numbers are concerned.
Out of control.
And.
And yeah, who's the, the former Buck?
How the hell did they get...
Drew Holiday?
Yeah.
I mean...
They had a stat.
They're like 33-1 when he scores 14.
He's a phenomenal player, man.
Yeah.
I don't know how Milwaukee ended up screwing that up, but...
Well, wasn't that to get...
What's his name under the cap?
Yes.
Not Giannis, but to get Dame under the cap, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that also harkens back to something we talked about on Friday,
which is their old coach is their GM,
and he apparently is also a really good GM.
Yeah.
So, you know,
they're not getting out of this hole.
There's no way that they beat the Celtics
four times in five games.
Going into that game,
do you think KP was the finals MVP?
Did you place a wager?
No.
But I was thinking, man, I should have placed a wager last week.
Was it more than $25?
Thank you, Rachel.
I think he was...
He wasn't the odds-on favorite going into the game,
because I did check.
At least...
But he had bumped himself up quite a bit.
Who's the Finals MVP right now?
Jalen Brown.
Okay.
Right?
Maybe that's who Kidd has money on.
Right. That's why I had to say that.
Yeah, no, it doesn't
feel great. Which is fine.
It does feel great that they're there, but
would love...
Yeah, that's the whole thing. Get one.
You got to get one.
And it can't be game four.
No.
Can't be your one.
I was having this conversation with myself about the Stars a couple weeks ago of like,
you know, if you're down 3-1 or you're down even 2-1, but you got your one in game three, like it feels so much worse.
I mean, statistically, it's exactly the same.
Yeah.
But it doesn't feel that way at all.
It doesn't even feel close to that.
They'll probably get one.
Yeah.
Do you think they'll win tomorrow?
Don't they?
Is it tomorrow?
Right?
Is it Wednesday?
I think it's Wednesday.
I think.
Do you think they'll win Wednesday?
If the game's Wednesday, I don't think they'll win tomorrow.
It is Wednesday.
I don't necessarily think they'll win.
At all?
Like right now, it doesn't look like they will.
But you never know.
They'll only hope you would have.
They need Luka to go off and Kyrie to go off to.
The second point is the one that you're going to have to have.
Yeah, if Kyrie's not going to be the Kyrie we've seen,
then they will not win a game.
Yeah.
Because Luka's going to be Luka.
It's just so weird to me that the Kyrie thing, like,
faded based on what seems to be, like, a mental block.
Their whole team looks big.
Like, you know how Luka's big?
They're big.
Like, versus Kyrie.
Like, yes, all their skill guys all look big.
Yeah.
Jalen Brown is huge.
Jason Tatum is long.
And where does KP?
So, KP is here, and he was the second best player on the Mavs.
What is he there?
Four?
And Al Horford is 50.
And he's playing great.
Doesn't have to score at all.
Just shows up and, as I said this morning, Al Horford just has to be Al Horford.
And then I got to deal with this motherfucker Peyton Pritchard hitting a three to end my run late in the third quarter.
The bank shot off the, yeah.
What is this guy doing?
This guy looks like, he looks like Boston to me.
Yeah.
Like he just looks like South Boston to me. like he just looks like south boston to me
and now i just have to deal with this guy too that was devastating
because you would kind of cut the yeah what it was eight yeah yeah you cut the lead to eight
peyton pritchard and then he puts that in don Don't want to see it?
Here's a little Luka postgame.
Taking it all on himself.
Mike Leslie, WFA.
Luka, later in the game,
it seemed like you guys started to be able to get more people involved, but for a while there,
first and second quarter, even into the third,
it seemed like it was heavily you.
What did finally start to work
and how can you guys get more people involved
offensively earlier on in the game?
So you're saying in the third, there was less people involved?
I'm saying in the first half, it was mostly you, and then you guys eventually started to get more people involved.
What eventually worked?
Yeah, I mean, obviously it didn't work because we lost.
But, you know, at the end of the day we gotta make some more shots you know I think my
turnovers and my missed free throws causes a game
so I gotta do way better
in those two categories
but at the end of the day
we gotta make shots to win them
to win the game
I just like that he always does that
he's like my missed free throws
my turnovers
and
you know without those things they're a
lot lot closer yeah well he was getting his pocket pick left and right you've no doubt but they're
also uh not there if they don't shoot 24 from three with him going four for nine yeah yeah
what's the non-luka guys how many threes did
non-luka make i think it was two for 15 so i appreciate that he does that
like so also not the reason they lost anymore we can't have josh green shoot
and and and jayden hardy just seems a little too small to have any effectiveness when he is in
there it's especially in this series, yeah.
Like, they try it. But he certainly can't do
anything defensively. And then they throw
Exum out there. Yeah, the
Exum, that was the one. He'd have the one shot.
Yeah, but
Exum can't play. No,
I really do think
it might be time to dust off
Tim Hardaway, and let's just see.
Again, I don't hate it.
You're out of ideas right now, aren't you?
Just let him go out there and chuck.
I don't see any reason why not.
Right.
I feel like the starting lineup can just stay the same.
Yeah, of course.
Instead of me giving
combined 13 minutes to uh hardy and
josh green or hardy and exum and then it you mean throw greens minutes in there too and you're
probably up to like 2022 yeah call call hardaway into the office tell him look we need it we need
it now let's go invite his dad invite your dad yeah when does he
play well is it his dad's in the building yeah i mean i don't want anybody to like actually pull
the numbers on that because it feels way more like a narrative than something that's quantitatively
based no let's do it yeah i mean i don't see any reason why not. But the problem is going to be the same problem that it was the other night,
which is Tim Hardaway, Maxie Kleber, Josh Green.
To an extent, I would say even like PJ and Derek Jones Jr.,
they work because Luka gets them open.
Right, and that's not really happening.
That's not really happening. Their shot quality numbers
are super, super poor right now.
And even Luka's
shots are difficult ones that he's making.
Yeah. Like Kyrie can go get that
bucket. I'm not worried about that.
I mean, he's missing, but he doesn't
Kyrie doesn't rely on Luka
for offense. Right.
Everyone else does. It's been this way
forever. Reggie Bullock.
PJ can move around a little bit.
Yeah, I mean, he's got
bounce, for sure. But certainly, all the
guys off the bench need Luka.
I mean, Hardy
can kind of trade a little bit.
That's the only one you have
left that might be able to just
play eff it basketball.
When Josh Green comes in, he needs Luka. Maxey needs left that might be able to just like yeah i mean when play effort basketball when josh green comes
in he needs luca uh maxi needs luca he's made a lot of people a lot of money like they're spot
up guys yeah but i don't know i mean if you want to do break glass in case of emergency on sim
hardaway jr i'm with you because i don't know what else they have right now is Boban available?
start Boban
isn't that the play you make?
remember that?
in the playoffs?
it kind of worked
it worked a little bit
I got some audio from the broadcast crew
here they're going nuts about Luka
you know they did the obligatory
they played some Luka clips of him
which is
very cool. That's a cool era that we live in
now, that everybody
has tons of video. Like, we never had
tons of video of Dirk when he was nine.
Right. And now you got
Luca playing against 14-year-olds
when he's nine. Yeah. And it's awesome.
So here, they just
played that video package, and then they
kept talking about him
and then they said something uh they gave a little shout out what i've always been impressed with
with luca is his poise from day one in the nba this is a guy who's seen every single coverage
he's been in big moments prior to even getting to the nba it just feels like he always rises
to the occasion.
Remind me again who was picked before him, first and second.
Do you remember?
Why do you have to bring that up to us?
Okay, I'm only putting this in there because they're attempting chemistry.
It's just not going anywhere.
Do you remember?
Why do you have to bring that up to us?
That's not nice.
DeAndre Hayton was number one. He took it literally.
Shot clock at four.
Defensive three seconds.
So one shot technical.
Again, following a loss, this team has been terrific.
And he has led the way in that department.
Mark Folliwell, who is the terrific Mavs play-by-play announcer
for many, many years, he named it.
It's Luka Magic, and you see it all the time,
the way he performs.
Everybody trying to stop him, he just finds a way.
Go ahead.
I didn't know that mark followall was credited with
that nickname is that true um i have certainly heard mark say it and if mark is credited with
it no i've heard him say it that's awesome a ton yeah i didn't know where that originated
it doesn't feel to me like the sort of line that is unique enough to where one person could yeah yeah okay
could be ascribed as the author of it but perhaps i'm wrong about that it is it's not so it yeah
it's just i don't know i i i've never i've never thought of that as like a like i'm sure mark has
like a ton of different.
He's got to take that with you, right?
I mean, I know that came from Dirk, but he's used that before.
Luca Magic, I feel like just about anybody.
I was surprised to hear Followell get the credit.
Probably come up with that.
But also.
But if he deserves it. If you want to wind it back even further than that,
it is very funny them trying to uh force a chemistry set
there uh well of course it was uh deandre ayton right these three do not mix at all and like i
thought she didn't used to mind a breen and doris alone i didn't either and the thing is i don't
mind jj right but there's something about the three of them together that just does not work. And I thought it was weird that Doris wanted to shade Bagley and Aiden right there.
Like, I don't have a problem with it.
No, but it was all weird.
It was all weird.
Yeah.
It was all weird.
Yeah.
Here is Breen trying to get hip with the kids.
I think he's been watching some Kevin Burkhart for tips.
Although Tatum didn't shoot well again,
eight assists in the first half for Jason Tatum.
And for the Dallas Mavericks, 40 of the 54.
Catch that?
Nobody's doing DB.
We're calling Doris Burke DB now.
DB. We're calling Doris Burke DB now. DB.
Kind of highlighting the cleave there a little bit, I thought.
Old Doris.
We got to just let you know, don't forget that I'm a woman.
She just wants to make that perfectly clear.
We got it.
We got it.
I'm going to address your second point in a moment.
The first thing I will
say though is that she absolutely needed no
prompt to speak right there.
DB.
Like the sentence ended and then he's like, DB.
Bring it, DB.
I don't think that...
Rack him.
As it were, I don't think that
she should be shaded for showing it a little bit because like
dudes wear like tailored suits if they're ripped yeah we don't see their ridge though
yeah I mean they might not be the ridge but it's like Van Gundy doesn't wear like a JJ Reddick suit
but JJ Reddick doesn't get accused of being like a whore.
What about a suit?
If it showed your six pack,
you just cut like the Zeke shirt.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
But that would be worse.
That would be worse.
I would agree with that.
Hey,
I'm not anti-Cleave.
Let's not start painting me with that brush.
I'm just pointing it out.
What's up, Doris? I'm a mutt. Well, nevermind. I'm just pointing it out. What's up, Doris?
I'm a mutt.
Well, never mind.
I'm not going to say that.
All right.
We have new fun.
Doris Burke has a phenomenal bottom.
And yeah, she's not showing that off.
That's all I'm saying.
She needs the stand-up death.
Hey, that's all I'm saying.
all I'm saying. She needs the stand-up death.
Hey, that's all I'm saying.
She's a very athletic...
Is that NBA 2K
Doris Burke? The image
we just showed?
That is a video game
character. Look at that.
Yeah.
Okay. She's wearing Jason
Kidd's glasses. She is.
She definitely is.
So, what was it?
Reggie Miller and Stan Van Gundy spent a whole series with one HSO that caused sports talk shows around the nation to dissect that HSO.
So, this crew is going to say, hey, we can do that game too.
Everybody can pick this up after we say this.
Again, it's Derek White with the deflection, Drew Holiday with the steal.
Those two guys make so many plays on both sides of the floor.
Not just the best defensive backcourt in today's NBA,
one of the best defensive backcourts of all time.
I will co-sign that.
I will co-sign that.
Yeah, I heard that.
But that was kind of like
the best offensive backcourt
NBA history.
That became a big thing.
And I don't think this,
I think a tumbleweed will bounce across
the sports landscape
this morning.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like
Van Gundy was a lot closer to being
right
than... Well, Breen was
kind of like a, kind of checked
himself with one of the best
in NBA history. Okay.
Right? Maybe? One of? I in NBA history. Okay, right?
Maybe?
One of?
I don't know.
I don't even know how to do that.
It's a lot tougher than offense, but I don't, yeah,
I think that's a bad point.
Doris here, I think, again,
they're trying to figure this whole dynamic out.
And I feel like she's trying too hard going to break here.
Eric Lively with his first point.
A 20-year-old rookie from Duke makes it a two-point game.
Timeout ball by Joe Mazzullo.
So we'll talk about how infrequently Boston blitzes.
Al Horford jumps out on this screen.
Two to the ball.
Drew a little bit late.
Rotation late.
And Lively getting lively at the cup. I don't even know what catnip is, but it's catnip for every crew that calls one of his games.
I need to use Derek Lively's name.
They can't avoid Lively getting lively.
They love it, dude.
Yeah. What is it, by the way?
Somebody gave me
some. Catnip?
Yeah, but I was told by
the person who created
my cat that
it's not good for him.
How often do you talk to that lady pretty often okay yeah yeah it's a very vibrant community us ragdoll folks
it's like 50 50 on if they'll even react like i have one cat that does and i have another that
does not and it can make them kind of like weed either chill out or it can make them have zoomies.
The least surprising thing to me ever that this show's first intern is a cat lady.
I knew that was going to happen.
I was like, as soon as I said it.
You're a cat man.
I am.
But they love Lively Lively, right?
But they love Lively Lively, right?
So speaking of Derek Lively,
this is going to be a part of the report, I guess.
I don't even know why we have to put this in here.
But let's do a sideline report coming out of the break.
Welcome back to Boston where Mavericks rookie Derek Lively is playing in his first NBA Finals but with a heavy heart because his biggest fan isn't here to cheer him on anymore.
His mom, Kathy Drysdale, passed away in April after a 10-year battle with cancer.
Kathy was a basketball star at Penn State and really Derek's biggest inspiration.
When you ask him how he's doing now, he'll tell you not great.
He says he feels better when he's on the court.
That's when he feels closest to his mom.
But when he's alone in his room, he says, I'm lonely
because the person he would talk to, call
after a game, just isn't there anymore.
Mike? You know, Lisa, he's
talked about, he says, I have an
angel on my shoulders talking about his
mom, who is his superhero.
She passed the torch to me
and I have to carry that torch
now. Well, that torch is shining brightly with this
young man. He has been special during the regular season
and fighting through his grief
and has been special in the playoffs as well.
Irving jump shot.
No one else wants to chime in on that.
So that's why I kept that in there.
JJ's not touching that.
Yeah.
Doris is like, why are we doing this?
I'm here to announce the game.
I can kind of see both sides of it.
Here's what I don't see.
When we asked him about it, he said, why even ask him?
Yeah.
He's probably sad his mom died two months ago.
I'll bet you it's bad.
How about we just give him some space and just let him just be the great player he is.
He's like the youngest player in NBA.
Because we need a story.
Starter in the NBA finals or whatever.
Yeah, but that didn't fit there.
Pops more if I have a quote.
It wasn't like he was going off that game.
No.
Besides like maybe that one play.
He didn't have a lot going yesterday.
It wasn't like
he was terrible but he's just been deemed you know his effectiveness is a lot different in this series
i just didn't think it fit but it's kind of like we have this ready i agree with uh let's use it
at any time derrick lively does something he's just out there finally they're losing by 15 and
the truck's like all right put the camera on him. We're going to do the dead thing,
but I'm with you though.
Uh,
especially if you're like young,
if you have a parent that dies in sports,
I feel so bad for you.
Just in general,
obviously losing a parent,
like at a young age,
horrible,
but you just know they're going to bring it up every time you play.
Like if you're an Ohio State running back
and your mom thought about aborting you,
it's probably going to come up.
Ohio State?
J.K. Dobbins probably wouldn't have had to deal with that
had he just been like a guy who worked at a grocery store.
But now, and he is, by all accounts, a great dude.
Lively?
Right?
Yeah.
But I think they're trying to go a little overboard with it.
They do.
They definitely do.
Derrick Jones Jr.
He was out of bounds when he tried to save it
and goes crashing along the baseline and
checking to make sure he ran into one of the photographers, knocked her over, and just
shows what kind of young man he is, making sure that she's okay.
You know, I would have thought he'd pull down his pants and just start urinating on her.
Moments ago, Daniel Gafford was in the game, and he knocked over a photographer and then
pulled out a gun and shot her in the face.
Yeah.
And then he said he missed his mom.
That's right.
Yeah.
He said.
Yeah.
He missed his mom.
This reminds me of my mom.
I thought he'd laugh at her and spit on her.
Yeah.
But here he is, like, wondering if she's okay.
All right.
Well, what a guy.
What a guy.
You have to think of-
You know, I might like him to get back on defense.
I don't know.
I bet that's what his mom would have wanted.
That is what his mom would have done.
A standout at Penn State.
I did know that.
Which I did research and check
just to make sure that she was a standout.
Because you thought there was a chance she was
just on the team.
She scored a thousand points. I think that's
impressive.
But she's also like 22nd
on the all-time scoring list for
Penn State.
But it seems pretty good.
I'm just going to go with standout.
Yeah, let's go with that.
Alright.
The Dumbs Up.
Can I ask you something about these commercials?
I don't know what the heck I'm doing out there, Hank.
I need a little advice.
You've done like 20,000 of these things.
Tell me something.
Well, you know, Larry, everybody thinks it's easy.
It isn't.
It's an art.
Yeah.
Okay, well, look.
If you don't believe in your product,
you've got to substitute something you do believe in.
Okay.
For instance, when I'm out there and I'm pitching
the pearl cream that keeps you looking young.
Right, right.
I've seen that.
Do you know what I'm thinking?
You're not thinking about the pearl cream?
No, sir, I am not.
What are you thinking about?
America.
Everything she stands for.
You're listening to The Dumb Zone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You ever see the Will Ferrell SNL sketch where he's like a news anchor?
And it's a very serious story.
I can't remember what they were talking about.
It might have been like a baby in a well or something.
But he's just like, man, that's a kick-ass graphic.
Don't hug me. like man that's a kick-ass graphic and he just like he can't get away from how badass the graphic is to focus on the story that's how i feel about the graphic we just displayed there and the the it is badass man yeah makes me feel cool
um
you know what
you know who sent me that
is uh
our goalie's dad
oh right on
he's the one that made that
and
I told you that last week
yeah
during viewer mail
oh look at this guy
and we'll do a little viewer mail
real quick.
An old pro.
And then I've got, we've all got some HSOs.
Well, I hope you do on women's basketball.
I guess.
Weren't you telling me that Viewer Mail today was going to be sponsored by Frankel & Frankel?
I was actually telling you that. I was telling me that Viewer Mail today was going to be sponsored by Frankel and Frankel? I was actually telling you that.
I was telling you that all weekend.
When we met up, I was like, hey, Viewer Mail Monday.
Frankel, Frankel.
They're personal injury attorneys.
You want to call them immediately if you get in a wreck.
You don't want to get in a wreck.
So the other day, I had a guy swerve into me almost hit me but i already had two one four three three three three three
three and i was like do i hit this last three you just need one more and then the guy didn't hit me
they're on my favorites they are your myspace top five yeah Yeah, my, remember my daughter was yelling at me about my favorites.
And I actually moved them right above them.
So yeah, now it's my wife, you, Blake, Video Man,
Frankel and Frankel, then Ava and Eden, and Kelly.
That checks out because Ava and Eden can't help you if you get in a car accident.
No.
And they probably would just lay back.
They wouldn't fight for your rights.
The insurance company is, obviously, sometimes they try to take advantage of you.
You don't really know what your rights are.
Frankel and Frankel do.
You know, when we had our meeting with them, something that I'd never really thought about,
but absolutely makes sense, is that if you actually get into a car accident, there's kind of these fly by night operations that can figure out that you got in a car accident and they will call you.
And I was thinking about like my parents or grandparents, not to say that my parents are like old, old, but you know, they're getting close to the age where they could be taken advantage of.
And I never really thought about the fact that like people actually do that.
So you just need to call the Frankles.
If you order for your wife,
you could possibly be taken advantage of pretty soon.
That's right.
It's,
it's get out of the car and run around and open the door,
but you're wearing a t-shirt.
So yes, Frankel & Frankel, 214-ALL-3s.
Or how about this, 817-ALL-3s.
I don't even know how that works.
How do they do that?
You'll talk to a partner when you call, not just some spare.
And are they going to be in New York?
Oh, no, no, no.
They're right here in DFW.
They're located in DFW.
That's another thing.
Even some of the bigger law firms, you'll be like, yes.
Oh, no, we're Houston.
No, no, no.
No.
Dallas, baby.
Local.
Dallas.
So, Frankel and Frankel, thanks to them for sponsoring today's Viewer Mail,
which starts with, hey, Hotmail Dan,
would you include my husband in your birthday shout-outs?
His name is Tyler Porter.
He runs y'all's Discord or something?
What?
He says it's his Kareem Abdul-Jabbar minus Larry Bird
plus Scottie Pippen birthday today.
I'm not going to do it.
Our son sings the All Right, All Right, All Right theme song.
I told him your podcast is not appropriate for a 20-month-old to listen to.
Clearly, he does what he wants from Carolyn Porter.
No, I think at 20 months, you're still pretty good.
Because that's like when I call, I've said this before, but when I call Dan, I'm like, all right, I got the boy, not the girl.
And so Dan knows he can use slurs.
Yeah.
not the girl.
And so Dan knows he can use slurs.
Yeah. And I remember whenever I was
when Nora was like
young young like the time
where you still had to get up overnight with them young
I would just listen to
Come Town
like on the speaker
at two o'clock
in the morning as they're doing
Does the name of that podcast
infer that they might
be kind of dirty
I would say yes
there might be slurs
in that
I would say
that is certainly
the implication
yeah
this came in Friday
but I wasn't on top
of the email
day five subscriber
Alex here
it is my birthday
46 years old.
I just want the smallest birthday
of recognitions, which we know
stop once you have kids.
Yeah.
My birthday wish is to hear Jake say
good dude, which gets me through the next year.
That's from Alex. What's the last name?
Lundy.
Great dude.
Phenomenal dude.
He says, I also have progeria.
I think he's a good enough dude to where I can say this,
and it's going to be a little bit uncomfortable.
I knew him for a fair piece,
and then the next time I saw him, he had no hair.
That's what pro Jerry is,
right?
Yeah.
But I don't feel like he always had it.
It feels like it should be anti Jerry.
What's Jerry?
Is that hair?
That's a good question.
I've never thought about it.
Maybe it means bald.
So he's pro pro bald.
Maybe.
But,
uh,
he came to a remote that we did at a car wash one time.
I don't know if you remember that.
And I was like, it was like that weird moment where you see somebody that you haven't seen in like three or four years.
And then they show up and you're like, are you?
Did you look different?
Yeah.
Hot male furor.
This is Friday as well.
Quick 25th birthday shout out to my good friend and longtime listener, Logan Kirsting.
Wish him well as he's currently participating in one of Jake's new favorite things, getting faded at Dead & Company in the Sphere.
Damn, that looks awesome.
Is Dead & Company the new Grateful Dead?
Mm-hmm.
The Sphere does look awesome.
does look awesome.
Dude, if they ever put like a sporting
event up there, like a cowboy
game or something, I'm absolutely
going. It's amazing. You've been?
Mm-hmm. Whoa! I saw a postcard
from Earth. I don't know what that is,
but... It's an Aaron Antoff
film. Oh, okay. It is
incredible. So you can watch
a film? It's all...
I thought it's like a planetarium or something.
You feel like you're there.
You feel like you're in the film. Yes.
It does look very cool.
I almost, we debated like going
twice. Dang.
What'd you pay?
It's like $200
for both. Two seats.
There's no bad seat.
Yeah, I can't imagine.
Yeah.
But I do have, I have a couple of friends that went and saw the dead and go there.
I know Cash saw fish there.
Yeah.
Boy.
Seeing anything there would be incredible.
Boy.
Seeing anything there would be incredible.
If I ever get to that point,
I want you guys to separate me from the company.
What, if you start liking fish?
Like, I'm already not thrilled about the idea that I am telling you that I actually enjoy The Grateful Dead.
It's embarrassing.
If I come in here and start talking about fish, I want you guys to...
I don't even know what fish is.
I want you guys to call the bank.
It's P-H-I-S-H, by the way.
Yeah, I'm familiar.
Okay, I was like, if you're going to Google it.
It's the Grateful Dead, like 20 years later.
But that's what you're into now.
I know, but what I'm saying is I don't want this to be like my thing.
Because people who get into it, it becomes their thing.
Yeah, like if you're getting Cash a birthday gift, get him like a fish-based birthday gift.
And he'll be really happy.
Doesn't matter, yeah.
But I never want to be that person.
There's just like 10 songs that I found that I like.
That law office we were at the other day.
Really into it.
No, they're into the, yeah, he's into the dead.
Yeah.
Like he had the skull in his mouth.
Nobody's just kind of into it.
Yeah.
That's the problem.
That's from Charlie Weitz.
Hey, leader, I'd like to wish my brother Sage happy Lee Smith birthday.
His leaders are Jake's Lake House Table and Blake's Soft Voice.
From Zach.
Me too. First day
number 169.
Nice. And Dan
it is my Rangers
Ron Washington birthday.
Love the show. More
Julie. Less anyone else who's not
Dan or Jake from Van.
Sorry Rachel. Sorry, Rachel.
P.S.
Any chance of a watching party for the renewal
of the A&M Texas game
in November?
That's not a bad idea.
That's a great idea, Van.
I'll write that down.
When is that?
I think we're going to do it
live from the bonfire.
Dude, let's have a...
Okay. We got a fire pit out at my house. Let's make a fire. Yeah, let's have a... Okay.
We got a fire pit out at my house.
Let's make a fire.
Yeah, I'm going to leave the construction entirely up to you.
Yeah.
But, yeah, no.
We'll have our own, the Dumb Zone Bonfire.
And, Video Man, can you put just a camera that would be on the bonfire, too?
And then we'll watch the game.
And in one of the things you had the fire.
One of the things you got Akash.
You know, VJ Boyd.
Whoever. Fake Vince Young from
golf tournament.
Can the roast twins go?
There's
no way they would ever give us the time of day,
night, evening, anything.
They'll chime in from their locations.
Because they won't be here in November, I hope.
Something has gone horribly wrong.
And one non-birthday email, which is from Quentin, who says,
Dan, there's a series on HBO Max.
The Edge, Micah, and CJ Take Tokyo.
That might be worth a watch.
The editing is very weird, but interesting to see those two.
I think we're talking Micah Parsons here.
Yeah.
He says, also, Micah may end up being in Houston for a super team.
well i mean i was aware that uh so it's it's part of the bleacher report thing like hbo max or whoever runs that now is it discover right
nobody's gonna help me at all it sounds right but i can't remember. So they own Bleacher Report.
So you can watch Micah's podcast on HBO Max, nominally Max now.
And he started doing stuff with CJ Stroud around the time of the draft.
I did not know that they went to Japan together. But I'm in.
Actually, you did know that because Micah was
with the sumo wrestler.
And we saw CJ Stroud with him
throwing out the first pitch or something like that.
You know what? I don't think I knew that that was part of
a full series that they were doing.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But apparently...
No, he's not going to end up on a super team.
If you are a current athlete doing bits in the offseason,
there's going to be cameras following you.
Why not?
You're not just doing something and then just doing it.
All right.
Some people do, but yeah.
In general, I tend to agree with you.
Okay, more basketball talk.
Oh, can I say one other thing?
I just thought of this whenever you said something about streaming.
You can say a hundred other things.
I finished season one of The Bear.
Oh, okay.
I finally did it.
I know I told you last week that I started.
How does it end?
I'm trying to remember if I watched season two or season one just.
Spoiler?
Yeah.
Everybody want to chill for a second?
It's been out for a while.
Yeah, it's been out four or five years.
They found the money.
Okay.
And I know that you hated that.
I did hate that because it's.
Oh, in the tomato soup can?
The five ounce San Marzano's.
Yeah.
Right.
Which, how the hell did they get it put in those cans?
The money's in the banana stand.
Exactly.
I mean, to get those cans all sealed up and everything?
That's pretty amazing.
But I'm with you, though.
But it's kind of like the lottery tickets.
Roseanne winning the lottery.
But the episode before that was my favorite episode.
And then they,
it's like everyone,
right?
Like the penultimate is always a lot better.
And then the finale
was kind of like,
meh.
Was the one before,
like,
I hate the cake guy.
That doesn't exist.
There's not a dork like that
who has to make meat,
but he loves making cake.
So he's just going to make cake.
That guy sucks.
Uh,
why did you do a little thing?
I don't know.
He just seems like that.
I actually do know someone
who went from, uh, cooking on the line into baking.
Yeah, but is he sitting there at work just waxing about, oh my gosh, I wish I was baking
a cake right now, but here's your sandwich.
It's like, all right, dude.
I definitely think that exists.
All right.
In fine dining, for sure.
Okay.
Anyways, I haven't watched a full TV show in a long time, and I really, really enjoyed it.
I think it's good.
I thought it was great.
But I think it's overrated.
Do you not agree?
It's possible.
I like the star.
He's kind of cool.
He's so hot.
I guess he was in Shameless.
I couldn't stick with that.
But he is so hot and you know the weird
thing about it was uh the reason that i avoided it for a certain period of time was people were
like well it's a very anxious um nerve-wracking show and that's something that i have like uh
you know my own little issues with i actually found it to be like, this is just normal to me.
Like, I think people that don't have like major, major anxiety, like watch that show and think,
boy, this looks terrible. But I'm like throughout it, just watching it. I was just like,
this just seems. Have you worked in the restaurant industry?
I have not.
So I think... Well, I did delivery.
Oh.
I worked at a pizza restaurant for six months or so.
You, I assume?
Yeah.
I worked in the fast-paced world of radio.
Anyways, I just wanted to say
because I never watch TV shows.
I really, really enjoyed it.
So you're willing to take in a series
if it's eight episodes
and it's 30 minutes per episode?
Yeah, they're like 35, but yes.
Like tires.
It definitely helps.
I finished that.
Oh, damn.
I keep forgetting tires, man.
It's so good.
How do you keep forgetting it?
Have you finished it? I've seen
all of them twice. Like right away you watched it?
Yeah. I keep forgetting
it because I'm so pissed about this whole
women's Olympic basketball situation.
It's taking your attention.
I seriously do think it's
idiotic. That people
are upset about it or that it's happening? That it's happening. Because I do think it's idiotic. That people are upset about it or that it's happening?
That it's happening.
Because I do think, I mean, look, we don't care about women's basketball.
I'm starting to care a little bit more.
But I am really.
And I used to.
Oh, yeah.
For your lady.
I used to.
Oh, yeah.
For your lady.
But I am really interested in this whole Caitlin Clark situation because she's like the Steph Curry of women's basketball.
I remember when we first heard about her three or four years ago,
and she's launching logo shots and scoring 50 a game or whatever she was doing.
Yeah.
So that's pretty amazing.
And it's pretty amazing that she's elevated the women's college game up to a
point where that gets better ratings sometimes than men's college basketball.
I think it's really amazing that they're selling out arenas across the WNBA
just for her games.
Like you'll get four,
6,000 at another game and then 22,000 when she's there.
Like, I think it's awesome.
It is.
Like, I still might not be into it if this continues,
but like it's clearly she is the reason.
It's Tiger.
Yeah.
Now, she isn't dominating like Tiger was right when he hit the scene.
He started winning every tournament right away, too.
That's true, too.
It's a different sport where it typically takes a little bit more time.
But she's still really, really good.
Men's or women's.
Yeah.
So in the first half of her first ever pro season, she's arguably worthy of being on the team.
You might pick and choose and say, I don't know, look at the stats here.
Like if I just base it on just total stats, there are 12 women that are better.
But then what if I could put a little something on the scale?
Right.
And so they say she didn't make it.
This from USA Today column on Friday.
Says that two other sources,
both longtime U.S. basketball veterans
with decades of experience in the women's game,
told USA Today Sports
that concern over how Clark's millions of
fans would react to what would likely be limited playing time on a stacked
roster was a factor in the decision-making.
If true,
that's an extraordinary admission of the tension that this multimillion dollar
sensation who signs autographs for dozens of children before and after every
game has caused for the old guard of women's basketball.
The two people spoke on condition of anonymity
because of the sensitivity of the matter.
I want to say a lot of things to parse out there,
but the fact that you nailed anonymity.
Thank you.
Wasn't expecting that.
Saw the word coming.
All morning.
Didn't think you'd get it.
Sitting in the mirror practicing that one.
I mean, look, I don't know anything about this sport.
I don't know who else was worthy.
But if it was arguable and the scale tipped based on the idea that they were worried about how her fame
would impact
the reception of the games and her playing
time. I think that's ridiculous.
Yeah. I think it's...
Well, you can argue
that there is at least one person on the
roster that a lot of people are pointing out
shouldn't be there is Diana Taurasi.
Isn't she like 40?
She's 42.
And she's already got five gold medals.
She's won five of these bad boys with the women's team.
She's pretty much on as a legacy, lifetime achievement.
She doesn't piss anybody off if they play her for five minutes a game.
Right.
I'm sure there's a ton of huge Diana Taurasi fans
that are upset that she's not getting every ball fed to her.
It seems like a massive, massive misstep to me.
Let's think of the Dream Team.
When they first started allowing men's pros to play,
that team did have some legacy guys that probably
weren't one of the best 12 in the game at the time, like Larry Bird. I believe he was a shell
of his former self. He had had back surgeries. He was on the very tail end of a career,
but he's Larry Bird. And they knew we're going to win every game by 50, no matter what we do.
Just like the women's team knows right now.
The last time the women's team lost a game in Olympic basketball,
a game, was 1992.
Are you serious?
Yes.
Well, obviously, I'm out of my depths here because that stat is shocking to me.
They destroy everyone.
So, you know how the rest of the world caught up to the NBA?
Yeah.
And the U.S. Olympic men's team?
The women of the rest of the world have not caught up.
Not even close.
Facts.
Had no idea.
Facts indeed. um facts had no idea facts indeed so yes the end and that dream team you know who else they had on there christian leitner that didn't fit at all like in retrospect it really didn't fit because
he ended up kind of being a dud in the nba but at the time it was a big deal he was a big deal. He was a big deal in college basketball.
He was about to become a pro.
And so, hey, yeah, let's put the best college player in the game.
She is the most marketable.
She is the most well-known.
Like, she is the reason you would watch that.
Are you going to tune into a women's game now?
It's less likely.
Right. I also don't did you tune into any women's uh ncaa games uh before this year did you ever tune into a woman's ncaa game i have never
watched a women's college basketball game that she didn't play it right so this year you did
like hey let's see what this is all about yeah yeah
i yeah i don't know i think it's uh it's a weird it's idiotic and it's really been a big discourse
what it is is uh it's something that's very common in sports military i suppose it's common
in life in general but it's like trying to make Dez carry Roy Williams pads.
It's like, no, I'm every bit as talented as you are just because you've,
well, you're older.
You've been in the league.
No, I don't.
I, I'm not a huge fan of the, uh, I think psychologists would call it the
appeal to authority.
Like if that's the only thing you have over me,
it's just, oh, you've just been doing it longer.
That doesn't make a ton of sense to me.
Oh, do you have that picture that I gave you for the video?
So this was a thing on Twitter that kind of said,
here's who is keeping Caitlin Clark,
the highest scoring women's player in college basketball history off of team
USA.
So what's the implication here?
Well,
this feels like we're,
we're doing a race thing.
Yeah.
That's,
uh,
the selection committee.
Is,
uh,
not white.
No.
Generally.
And.
The middle photo.
She is white.
I mean, I also feel like they could have found a better photo of the coach.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, they.
Feels like a.
If you're on one side of the game, you're going to try to also get the photos
that make your side look better.
So I don't know if that plays into it at all,
but I think the WNBA seemingly across the board
has been heavily criticized for a lot of the way
they're handling Kaitlin Clark entering the WNBA.
Like, they just don't know what to do with this.
Yeah.
The only thing I would say that I've,
I've observed from afar and it's very afar.
She seems like she's handled it super,
super well.
She seems great.
Like every question she's answering is.
And,
and I was kind of surprised by that because after the very, very limited amount that I've observed her playing basketball, she seems like a real asshole as a competitor.
And sometimes those people, let's say like Draymond, when they get asked questions about things, they're standoffish.
They don't, you know know they want to make their uh
opinion in a very you know forceful way she seems like an incredibly competitive
asshole which i love but then when she's asked about it outside the lines kind of like luca
or you know most of the the all time greats,
she seems to just be like,
I get it.
I wish the best for everyone else,
which is cool.
And not how I would be at all.
News.
Sure.
Let me look at,
Oh no,
no.
Are we doing that audio in the news
which one from the big man or is that outside news let's do it in the news if you're gonna play it
well here's jane with you make the call so news i did want to play you one video in the news before we get to the big man.
This occurred in Oregon over the weekend.
This will be the bull video, video man.
The bull video.
That's just what I titled it.
You're fun.
So, have you ever been to a rodeo?
Yes. Some time ago. In Texas? Yeah. Or was it at home?
Yeah, I think it was the Mesquite Rodeo. Sidebar? They used to like routinely beat the brakes off me on the shake joint in the ratings every Sunday morning.
What does that mean?
It was like somehow they had like Mesquite Radio or Rodeo Radio.
You're not talking
K-E-O-M, Mesquite High School Radio?
Is that what it was?
I just remember there was like something related
88.5 Mesquite High School Radio.
And they would get like a 12 on Sunday mornings.
Really?
Yeah.
I'm like, what?
Sean and I are just like going over our notes.
Like, how do we keep losing to this Mesquite?
I think you're right.
I think it was Mesquite High School Radio.
That used to be my home for 70s music and stuff.
For the Golden Saturday?
A little Super Saturday night?
Saturday Night Fever?
What you're referring to?
They would play that?
No, they just played
hits from the 70s.
Like, this is back
20 years ago.
I don't know what they play now.
Something that people pervert
more than the shake joint.
Is essentially all that I know.
So, uh...
Just one time, Mesquite?
That's the only time you've been?
Yes.
Once ever.
I've been a bunch of times.
Yeah?
Yeah.
I don't know if it was a growing up here thing.
Video man, you?
It must be.
Rodeo? No?
I remember
and I keep saying
we should get my stepdad on.
Let's do it. Let's just have him sit in.
I think he'd be great.
He could open the door for me.
He would do that.
He was very involved in the rodeo, like when my mom met him.
That sounds pretty vague and weird.
I think he was like, I don't, you know.
Can he rope a calf?
There was definitely a time where he could.
I don't know if he could now.
I mean, it's 30 years later, but.
He seems to be a real complicated onion, that guy.
Cop, rodeo.
Yeah, just orders for your mom.
But he seems like the coolest guy I've ever met.
He's awesome.
Yeah.
He's awesome.
Like, the way you describe some bullet points you put on him,
I'm like, I wouldn't like that guy at all.
But then you met him.
And then I meet him, and he's, like, really cool.
I could see why your mom's into him.
It was the cop and rodeo thing where you were like, eee.
I don't know.
I mean, I'll let him order for me, though.
It's kind of you.
So at this event in Oregon, a bull escaped,
and we're going to watch the video now,
and then we're going to talk about it.
I know I'm green. Hold on. I'm sorry sorry i forgot to tell you lee greenwood's playing no way
yeah yeah and then they're not going to want the bull to be free i'll bet
no no but he's not going to care i do root for the bull at these things
it's kind of sad, you know.
So we got a bull.
It's a small rodeo.
The old turn down the thing and hear the crowd.
Take that.
Now he's in the crowd.
Wow, he just leapt over the...
Now he's knocked over a park bench.
Left over the fence right into the crowd.
Now he's tossed a human being probably 10 feet in the air,
and they can't stop it.
But he seems to leap over the thing and gets out into the concourse
and kind of knows where the exit is.
Yeah, it does.
It does.
Now he's over by, like, the brewery tents, you know?
She's having a good time.
Yeah.
Did they end up with the tranq gun or something?
What did we do?
It was secured next to the livestock holding pins by our, quote, rodeo pickup men and immediately placed into a pin, which feels like PR speak for we tranqed it.
Yeah.
Is the guy who was flipping over okay?
Yes.
Two people transported to the hospital due to injuries
but nothing
like fatal.
It really did. That's credit to that
bull for figuring out, you know what, I bet I could jump
this fence.
Because if you don't get there. And
all of them have the physical
ability.
It's the ones with the mental ability that figured out.
And they're like, hey, wait.
Why am I staying in here?
There are no bullets in that gun.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Does that guy have PTSD now?
You'd have to figure.
Just standing around.
Yeah, because that guy wasn't even in the arena.
He's just out getting a beer.
Talking.
I think it was a woman.
I do think it might have been a woman. Yeah, she's just out here hanging out. Talking. I think it was a woman. I do think it might have been a woman.
Yeah, she's just out here hanging out, and it's like, whoa!
He flipped the lady?
Yeah.
Oh.
Yep.
Did you go to a bullfight in Mexico?
No.
I went in Spain.
Saw him kill it.
It's...
It's not...
I would not say that it's underwhelming,
but there is a component of it
that they don't really tell you about.
Like they drug it.
I definitely think they drug it.
But in addition to that,
when you see like the big badass,
which he's 5'2", he's not big, the matador, the bull has already lost so much blood.
Because they have like three fluffers.
What does that mean?
It means they go out there and kind of like...
They lance it?
they lance it well they like put they look like uh uh bowling pins but they stab them in the back with it and then the bull by the time the matador gets out there he's not in peak condition he's
emmett smith with the cardinals by the time the matador gets out there and then then he just kind of does like a little show and dance
but the thing is like effed up at that point so it's like a high wire act working with a net
it seems like that he knows you know he's going to be fine yeah and then yeah why is that fun to watch
uh by the end of it i wouldn't say it was fun to watch.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I just wanted to go.
If there was a chance that guy could die, though, you might be into it.
Those first few guys, I thought there was a chance they could die.
But the last guy, the matador, has a sword.
And the bull has already lost a considerable amount of not only blood, but dexterity.
And then they just do it like right
behind their neck.
And they just...
And then
they hook it up
to horses, which feels like...
Like drag it around?
They drag it out of the arena.
But I remember watching this. They do like 10 of the arena.
But I remember watching this.
They do like 10 of them in a day.
Yeah, see, these sorts of things right here.
If you're watching on YouTube.
Those are all like stuck into their back.
And so then this guy's just got like the cape and he's throwing it around.
And this thing's like, I've been out here fighting four other guys for an hour and a half.
But it did feel like a really cool moment for the horse though.
Is there like,
now I win.
That's your silver lining.
Yeah.
You're always looking for that.
That's right.
I feel like I really bummed the intern out.
Not really intentional.
Do you think Blake would fight that?
Do I think Blake would fight a bull?
Just kick it.
He's all fired up about fighting a bobcat. Yeah.
That is a good callback.
Okay, so do you guys remember just a couple weeks ago the insane storms we had?
Boy, do I.
You have internet, right?
Internet is back.
You got it on Friday.
We had to stop the show four times so you could get internet.
Things are humming.
But you would never know.
You would never know.
Seamless.
Encore.
You're familiar with Encore, correct, Dan?
Sure.
Says that that May 28 storm was the worst in city history.
The worst in its 112-year history in terms of outages.
If you recall, there was like 700,000 people without power.
Yeah.
That was the worst they've ever had.
Which is a lot worse than being without internet for a week.
That's very big of you.
But didn't it feel like the ice storm was worse?
Apparently not.
Well, that's a great call.
Apparently not.
Because it was like okay weather.
Like, I mean, it wasn't too hot, too cold.
It was rainy.
They're just saying for power outages.
I think that's all they're basing it on.
Although, I'm with her.
I would have thought there were more than 650,000 people without power during Snowmageddon.
Yeah, maybe they're just being superlative with what's in front of them.
Because they were doing rolling blackouts.
Like, that was ridiculous.
So ridiculous, I had to go stay at Cash Sorori's place for a few days.
I had a baby.
Oh, everybody's got to one-up me.
You had to warm up bottles.
Oh, you're going to one-up me. You had to warm up bottles. Oh, you're going to one-up.
Dan was having highball old fashions.
Well, I was too at the time.
And gummies.
Right, as my wife and daughter were, I guess, collecting snow from outside and pouring it in the toilet so the toilet would flush.
Yeah, Dan had a weighted blanket.
Look, I had to get up, though,
and walk a couple blocks to the
station.
That was pretty cool
because then I just went and did the show from your house
once you had power back
because I didn't have power
and I'm like, well, why are you...
Oh, so I was in downtown Dallas and you were at my house?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because the roads were still pretty jacked up.
Yeah.
But I could make it to your house.
Yeah, I couldn't make it home.
You just couldn't make it home.
Police are investigating a situation where hundreds of plastic bags containing anti-Semitic flyers were found scattered
around a flower mound
neighborhood on Saturday.
They were in Ziploc bags.
What did it say?
It's just your basic
hateful
anti-Semitic content.
I mean, I could read it for you but curious i think it was
around pride the top part of this one says every single aspect of the lgbtq plus movement is jewish
i don't really know any gay jews
all right i'm jewish so i'm thinking i know one black jew
dude she just one-upped us twice yeah
she immediately like i was like man that feels like something you shouldn't say and then she's
like well i can yeah no i'm she's jewish which means that we can kind of say whatever we want.
I don't think that's how it works.
Oh, no?
Go for it.
I mean, I don't want to say anything, but...
So they also, following that slogan, put a bunch of notable figures in the Jewish community,
including Harvey Milk and other politicians.
Like, they're pictures. Gay. Was Harvey Milk and other politicians. Like, their pictures.
Gay.
Was Harvey Milk Jewish?
Apparently so. Doesn't sound like a Jewish
name. So what are they saying? Like, they're saying
LGBT, they're saying
pride stuff is bad.
And then also... And the Jews are bad
too. Let's, but what if we
team, it's kind of like a
like a chocolate and peanut
puff type thing. So it's just one
neighborhood and flower mound and
someone printed up like a hundred flyers
and
then, but then, yeah, so you can
see it right there. A rainbow yarmulke
would be dope. And then threw
them like all over
town.
Yeah, I don't know. I guess the end result is what's happening right now it gets that's what they want it was ignored i guess my thought is like if the news didn't
report on it at all then they wouldn't get what they wanted that's true my thought is just like
the type of person like you didn't print that at home most likely.
Well, maybe you did, but it took some time.
Yeah.
And then you had to buy the bags.
And then you had to take them to people's houses.
It's just like, is that like I was at the splash pad Saturday.
Hitler did a lot more.
There's a lot of people just worried about other people.
And like what other people think.
And do and like whatever.
It seems really strange to me to spend like your weekend being like,
I got a message I want to get out.
Read it.
And I'm going to put this in a bag.
And take it to your house.
But also, it's an interesting framing of the story too that
this is a story, it's really, framing of the story, too, that this is a story.
It's a it's really this is being mean to Jews.
But like, it's not really being like cool to gay people or anything, but they're like, yeah, yeah.
But like, if we call you gay, it is.
That's bad.
It is in the order of operations here.
Anti-Semitic is before homophobic on the headline.
But I don't know, that might be like a phonetic thing.
But also anti-Semitic, that's really bad.
Homophobic, I mean, I can see it, but it's bad.
You know, like, that's kind of the framing of it.
I got by with one thing.
Look, we're not into gays either, but you probably shouldn't do it. I'm pretty sure if I would have been like, I got by with one thing. Look, we're not in, in the gays either, but, uh,
I'm pretty sure if I would have been like,
space is super Jewish.
Right.
I don't think I would have seen the next day.
Right,
right.
Oh man.
That was one of the lines.
It's super gay.
They're like, we could make her Jewish.
They're like,
don't don't don't.
Yeah.
Uh,
one of my wise elders from our former uh radio station uh very early on was like look dude
there are a lot of things you can joke about
i would not joke about this if i were you
because at the time that's all i was doing, you know? So I can say...
That's a joke, by the way.
I was not doing it.
No, you're good.
I wouldn't have bothered you.
I actually got separated from a girl in elementary because I was Jewish.
So they would not let us be in the same class because she was German.
And literally, I mean, if that would have happened in today's
time, that would not have flied. But literally, we were not allowed to be in the same classes
or playground or anything. Like, did one of the parents initiate this or?
They said, don't talk to her. She's Jewish. And I was the only Jewish kid in the school.
That's insane. And it was really hard. Our parents had to explain like
you can't go to her birthday party or a
birthday party she is at.
Wow.
Yeah, that
feels like it would
have been in the news if it
happened. I'd be talking about it right now.
This was in... Well, we are
talking about it now. Well, yeah, but I'm saying
if that happened now,
like, I feel like there would be a WFA
or a Fox 4 NBC DFW story about it.
I'm only half Jewish.
Is that possible?
Well, my mom...
So you could go to part of the party.
Right.
Christmas tree, Hanukkah presents under.
But, I mean, you could go to the birthday party,
but you had to leave before...
No, if she was there,
her mom would not.
Yeah,
exactly.
Yes.
She had to wear a full piece bathing suit.
Christmas tree,
Hanukkah presents under.
Feels like a little greedy.
Win,
win.
And I didn't mean that in any way.
But yeah,
that was a story that I just still look back and I'm like,
I don't know how that happened.
I should stop now.
That's going to do it for the news because I just walked into that one.
Okay.
The Dumb Zone News.
I don't even really know what Hanukkah is, by the way.
Hey, do you have the cool graphic you played at the end of the break?
I'd like to hit that.
So 12 days, right?
How many days?
Eight.
Eight days.
Eight crazy nights.
Eight crazy nights.
As Adam Sandler would say.
Adam, yeah.
I'd like to fire that and let us pause for a second, okay?
Don't fuck me.
Okay.
Hey, before we get to the big man.
Yeah, we forgot to play the big man in the news.
Yeah, it was my bad.
I was just telling these guys.
I just got like one of the weirdest DMs I've ever received in my life.
A doable mom?
Great callback.
I'm a big Tim Legler fan.
Just because he's like a big Mavs homer dating back to like February.
But I've never received something like this before.
This is from the All NBA podcast.
And I suppose the fact that I'm mentioning this right now means I'm probably not going to do it.
But it says, hey, Jake, I've enjoyed following your coverage of...
You're allowed to read like a DM somebody sends you, right?
Yeah.
Unless it's asking for your number.
No, no.
Which I do all the time.
Hey, Jake, I've enjoyed following your coverage
of the finals and regular season.
Great work.
Celtics look incredible.
Wanted to write and introduce myself.
I'm a person's name.
I produce the all NBA show with Tim Legler
and Adam Morris or Maris. I'm not sure. show with Tim Legler and Adam
Morris or Maris. I'm not sure. We're doing a mailbag
episode, but we're only trying to get questions from
other media members who are covering the finals
and really know the team well.
Is there anything you'd like to hear Legs talk
about regarding this series or any topic
you'd love to hear him and Adam touch on
for tomorrow's show? We'd be happy
to shout you out on the show and promote your work,
of course.
That's interesting. It's super's super so they're kind of like thing they want to present it as if these other media members are asking tim legler for things that's kind of the way that it seems
so they'll be like oh look at all these guys just coming to me for my knowledge. Right.
Like Jake Kemp.
Of the dumb zone.
Yeah.
That's weird, right?
It's very weird.
Like, I thought you were going to say you were being invited on the show.
I'm like, oh, that'd be great. When I first saw it, I was like, okay, cool.
Like, I'm starting to read through it.
I'm like, yeah, I'd love to be on your show.
We're inviting you to ask Tim a question. That's pretty much what it is. Mighty Tim. Who I think is great.
Yeah. It's interesting. It's just kind of a weird media interaction, I suppose.
Dear Tim, how do you think we could get more subscribers for patreon.com slash the dumb zone?
Let's let you write it.
And then I'll reply and see if they read it.
I could clip the audio.
Of course.
Dear Tim, don't you think we should let Tim Hardaway Jr. cook?
Yeah.
Love. Love. Love.
Love.
Jake Kemp.
Jake Kemp.
Of the dumb zone.
Did he address it to like the dumb zone?
Does he know you're the dumb zone?
Or does he think you're in terrestrial radio?
My guess is that this is D Magazine related.
D Magazine.
Damn.
So many respected entities floating very close to us, but...
Not us.
We can't get that respect.
Yeah.
Okay, so, yeah, you want to play the big man?
Yeah, I mean...
We don't like to follow all Trump stuff, but when there's a real funny thing...
We could literally every day if we wanted.
I used to do this.
Get close to...
Are we going to do any kind of stream
involving... I think we should.
Like a debate stream? The problem with
the debate stream as opposed
to like a cowboy stream is
we can do cowboys without having to hear
the commentary. With debate it's kind
of the whole thing.
Maybe we just...
I do think we should have a separate show where we just break down the whole thing.
Okay.
Like, we play video, we play audio, and we do that, like, as a separate thing than a regular Dumb Zone episode.
Pause.
Because a lot of people aren't going to want to listen to that.
Yeah.
But I think a lot of people are.
Make it a whole hour, two- uh at least okay because i've done this before it's
called bonus content that is called uh premium premium bonus premium bones triple but uh
he's back out there he He's going to win.
We're going to have to deal with all this again.
Whether that excites you
or pains you, I don't know.
We can get that wall done.
You know, there's a wall.
There was always
kind of a wall already.
Which is one of the funniest
things. If you go down there there's a wall yeah um
so this is it's actually kind of an old but right now it has a revolving door on it we're
gonna stop that yeah no actually right now what happens is um uh hondurans walk up and pull a book out and then they they're around and they get into the country like that
oh like the uh yeah the secret thing yeah and then it spins around and it spins them into a
luxury hotel and uh they have a uh into a college at a luxury hotel where they have unlimited supply of gift cards.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yep.
It's great.
Private jet, travel.
That's exactly.
And yes.
You could only hope to be so lucky as a Honduran.
Yeah.
With a book.
You know what I need?
Several of my friends to be turned to caravan.
Yes.
I'm sorry.
I just snorted.
All right.
So let's play this video so let's play this video let's play let's play
this video uh and we can just enjoy the greatness that is the big man back on the oh on the beats
what you have to know is so because i went through the audio or the whole thing just to find it
not just the clip that's on twitter we try to do a little bit more. We may be dumb.
But so what they're talking about here,
I think this is a common thing,
is electric power.
How ridiculous.
Like any power that's not like... Fueled by gasoline and cum.
Right.
It sucks.
So if it's wind, darling,
that's terrible.
It's not manly.
But these electric vehicles, he'll be like, you know what?
They're mandating that everybody be an electric vehicle in the next two years.
Yeah.
Or else, they're wanting us, we have to give up our other vehicles.
This is what the Democrats want, is they're making you, they're enacting a law that says you have to be an electric vehicle by 2027 um so if you don't
vote for me you're gonna have to drive an electric car which the weirdest part to me about it is like
the intersection of the trump version of conservatism and like elon musk right he wants
everybody to be in electric cars for sure yeah uh and he's on board with trump so
yes there's a lot of uh you're gonna find in politics there's some intersecting some things
that just don't make sense but so what he's going to go into here is he's going into uh a boat
that is battery powered yeah and i think that's where we pick it up and you go out at two knots that's
essentially almost like two miles an hour i say how long does it take you to get out there many
hours and then you're allowed to go around for 10 minutes but you have to come back because the
batteries only last for a very short period of time so i said let me ask you a question and he
said nobody ever asked this question and it must because of mit my relationship
to mit okay very smart yep i gotta i got a lot of things i gotta say here one i mean obviously
as a student of this game this conversation never happened that's not unique to trump they all make
up like a i was talking a little timmy you know they all make up these fake interactions um if you're watching on video the
crowd is amazing there's a woman uh wearing what i can only describe is like what i see college
baseball players wearing now is sunglasses it's like a new version of the Oakley blade. Curious.
There's some flat bill hats. There's a guy who has a Trump shirt on that is stylized like an ACDC shirt with a lightning bolt below it.
There's a guy to his right who has like the most finely manicured, completely white goatee I've ever seen in my life.
completely white goatee I've ever seen in my life.
There's a guy to the bottom right with a sleeveless shirt on
who I think is eating a turkey leg.
And even if he's not, I like to imagine that he is.
Hammo Trump hat.
What about the guy in the bottom left corner?
How did I end up here?
Yeah.
And then to top it all off uh just the fact
that he does the it's probably my relationship with mit because when i think mit i think of two
things goodwill hunting donald trump you think the white goatee is a big player in the trump land
yeah yeah there's another guy with a white goatee in the back player in the Trump land. Yeah.
Yeah.
There's another guy with a white goatee in the back.
Yeah.
That's what I mean.
Yeah.
No,
I think it's a,
it's a huge player.
Yeah.
All right. Sorry.
Questioned.
And he said,
nobody ever asked this question and it must because of MIT,
my relationship to MIT,
very smart.
He goes,
I say,
what would happen if the boat sank from its weight and you're in the boat and you have this tremendously powerful battery and the battery is now underwater and there's a shark that's approximately 10 yards over there.
By the way, a lot of shark attacks lately.
Do you notice that?
A lot of shark.
I watched some guys justifying it today.
Well, they weren't really that angry. They bit off the young lady's leg because of the fact that they were not hungry,
but they misunderstood who she was.
These people are crazy.
He said there's no problem with sharks.
They just didn't really understand a young woman swimming now
who really got decimated and other people too.
A lot of shark attacks.
So I said, so there's a shark 10 yards away from the boat, 10 yards
or here. Do I get electrocuted? If the boat is sinking, water goes over the battery,
the boat is sinking. Do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted? Or do I jump over by the
shark and not get electrocuted? Because I will tell you, he didn't know the answer. He said,
you know, nobody's ever asked me that question. I said, I think it's a good question. I think there's a lot of electric current coming through that water.
But you know what I'd do if there was a shark or you get electrocuted? I'll take electrocution
every single time. I'm not getting near the shark. So we're going to end that. We're going to end it
for boats. We're going to end it for trucks. We're going to end the whole battery thing.
We're going to end the whole mandate, son.
We're going to end the whole battery thing.
So wait, MIT, I'm very smart.
So you think of me, MIT, and my question is,
if the boat sinks because it has this battery,
so now I'm in the water, in the ocean, I'm guessing,
because there's a shark.
Yeah.
Right?
Not a lot of sharks in lakes.
So I wouldn't get electrocuted if i swam 10 yards over there but i'll be electrocuted because water electricity yeah and can travel through
water i also have a question about why this battery is just sinking this boat is it just
because it's just the weight of it?
It's so big.
It's going to sink the boat.
Well, how did it, like, even get to the two knots?
Like, he is right.
We looked it up.
I didn't know.
But how do you get two and a half miles out if the, like, okay, for example, if you have a boat
and I put
a thousand pounds of
like cement
bricks on it or whatever, right?
Okay.
Do you think it's going to make it two
miles before it sinks? A thousand pounds of
feathers. Well, it depends on if they're electric or not.
But don't you think it sinks a thousand pounds of feathers well it depends on if they're electric or not but don't you think it sinks right away i didn't go to mit and and neither did he and i also think uh the first time i heard him do this
my reaction was it absolutely rules that like
half of his statements are just
stuff that I would have said on the
fucking playground.
Oh yeah.
Hey, I was thinking this.
Bro.
I was thinking this the other day. Sharker electrocution.
I said a lot of shark.
I watched some guys justifying
it today. Well, they weren't really that
angry. They bit off the young lady's leg because of the fact that they were not hungry,
but they misunderstood what Oji was.
And so we completely glossed over that part.
Sharks don't get angry.
Ask how it feels.
They misunderstood.
They didn't know Oji was.
They just eat people because they think that they're seals.
Also, to me, now if we are playing shark or electrocution.
Which I'm down to do.
Like, I'm not president.
I think I'm going to go shark because electrocution, it seems like, that's that.
You're definitely going to die.
The shark might be interested in something else.
You at least have a chance.
There's a chance that if the shark attacks you, it could
realize who you are. Yeah.
As he said, they didn't realize
who she was. Because of the fact that they were
not hungry,
but they misunderstood who she was.
The shark misunderstood who she was.
Like halfway through, there's a chance
the shark is like, oh my god, it's Dan
McDowell.
Where have you been, dude?
I haven't.
And they release, whereas the electrocution.
He's like, I'm a subbie.
I haven't subscribed yet.
Day three, bud.
He gives you his subbie number.
Yeah, it's possible.
Oh my God.
What's Blake like?
Will he really not travel with you guys? could jake don't block me that's like pound for pound the dumbest thing i've ever heard in my life
uh it's one of the greatest things i've ever heard well i mean i i i would agree
yeah i think it's both It can be all of them. Yeah. The Dumb Zone presents...
And the most amazing thing is that those of us who think that his policies suck,
the best we can come up with is a guy who's even older who I don't think could eat an ice cream.
Yeah, it's tough.
Yeah. I mean, what can you do? yeah it's tough yeah
i mean what can you do
today's to the dim zone i could tell you a really funny story right now
but all right this is a free episode right is that gonna change the story well
like you wanna this is such a good story one time i was making
people pay for it so this this this is only going to land for uh for rob because he worked in the uh
the politics game but uh yeah yeah that's a good okay i thought he was gonna leave he's like if it
doesn't work for me then one time i was having a conversation with my friend and my other friend, TC, and it was very late at night.
We were at a bar.
No way.
And that's exactly what we concluded.
We were like, well, I mean, what are you going to do?
That's what we're left with.
My friend said, you know, what you can do is wait until a bunch of them are practicing baseball.
The old congressional baseball game callback.
Look, you hire a shock jock, you're going to get shocking stuff.
You can't be upset.
I'm relaying a story.
Right.
You're a newsman.
That guy did wait until a bunch of them were practicing baseball, though.
Which is, look, there's a lot there.
So they have hardball games.
At like 60.
Members of Congress are playing fast pitch hardball games? At like 60? Members of Congress are playing
fast-pitch hardball?
Now, tell me
you know I could sit one of them down.
I would hope so.
Thank you.
But I can't even imagine
them having a congressional softball
game. Right. Let alone,
you're actually playing
real, full,
real hardball.
That's difficult to do.
You're telling me? I don't want to do it.
I'm a ball player now.
None of it made sense.
No. Especially the part
where that guy showed up with a gun.
Then he has a gun that they all
want to
ban or where that guy showed up with a gun. Yeah, then he has a gun that they all want to...
Ban or forbid or... So did they enact legislation after that or no?
I don't think so.
It's Monday, June 10th.
Hey, we missed 6-9.
Didn't you say you did some funny 6-9 content
for our...
our soc?
Yeah, I told everyone happy 6-9 day.
They should celebrate by subscribing for $6.
Rachel realized that when she was with her husband in that particular...
No.
On 6-9, I mean.
That's when she realized it.
I'm sorry about him.
Sometimes he finds the line and and then he's like...
Look, Rachel, you hired a shock jock.
Yes.
Oh, is this what you put out?
Mm-hmm.
So what are you doing for us, Rachel?
You're doing some social stuff?
You're doing some editing?
Yeah.
Whatever Blake needs me to do.
Yeah.
Sounds pretty vague.
Also sounds...
There's a lot.
Like you should talk to HR about that. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Because I know how Blake is. No. Yeah. Sounds pretty vague. Also sounds. There's a lot. Like you should talk to HR about that.
Yeah.
Because I know how Blake is.
No.
Yeah.
I thought creating that was kind of cool for the 6-9 day.
Like the opportunity presented itself.
Look at that.
You and I wouldn't have thought of that.
No, I wasn't.
You guys are the talent.
I was getting my car washed.
Well, someone else was washing it for you.
Getting it washed.
It's also like the only thing that makes me feel like how Dan feels about getting a pedicure.
You don't like having somebody wash your car?
I love having my car cleaned.
Oh, when you go out and you have-
I feel real slavy.
No, it feels good.
When you get the tip.
Yeah. Give them the tip and they walk out. And now it's like, it's
just like a
collective
of tips. Did I tell you this?
I got a white lawnmower and I love it.
I don't feel bad. Yeah.
You kind of have to.
Yeah.
Okay.
I felt bad when I had a Hispanic guy mowing my lawn.
I don't.
Hey.
Oh, my God.
I thought you meant the color of the lawnmower.
No, no.
A guy.
It's great.
It's a white lawnmower.
No, I mean.
No, like a guy.
I've told you this before.
That's where you don't like the pedicure thing.
Yeah, it feels if there's a Vietnamese lady.
It feels subservient.
Yeah, just.
Yeah.
I won't do a shoeshine.
I can't believe people that do the shoeshine at the airport.
Dude, weirdest thing ever.
Nobody was doing it, but there's a shoeshine thing at that car wash.
And I'm like, who's just sitting here doing this like double dipping on the racism like hey i just want someone else to know that i'm
way better than them as i told you uh when we got we we get our house cleaned every three weeks i
think yeah um and they are not white we We used to have a Caucasian
female who did it.
And the
shift in how I act
once we got
the Latino crew,
when they get there, I start
cleaning with them.
You have to clean before the
cleaning people.
So you got to do that either way.
But when they get there and they see me like doing my little computer work.
Is that how you do it?
I'm like, dude, I don't think that they think I'm working.
Yeah.
So I will get up and start like cleaning just so they can see that I respect them.
Right.
Oh.
I mean, it might backfire.
They might actually be thinking, he doesn't think I'm doing a good enough job.
Didn't think about that.
It's a good point, though. They're not respecting my craft.
Yeah.
What a tangled web.
It's tough, man.
White men.
White lawnmowers.
White men have it the toughest, is what we're saying.
Everybody else can just hire whoever they want.
They don't feel any guilt about it.
Right.
So today's Monday, June 10th.
On this day in 1692, the first execution resulting from the Salem witch trials in Massachusetts took place as Bridget Bishop was hanged.
Just can't believe it's real.
The guy behind looks very unsure of what he's about to do.
Well, probably a witch.
The guy's raising his hand in the back.
I object.
Dude, think about that.
We're like less than half a century away from people being like, probably a witch.
On this day in 1950, 16 months after a near fatal car accident.
If it was fatal, then he wouldn't have, Ben Hogan wouldn't have won the US Open.
Fort Worth Zone, right?
Yes.
I think so.
Has it been more than 16 months for Tiger?
He was in a near fatal accident.
Will you please just stop betting on Tiger?
I can't, man.
There's a lot of Tiger memes going around.
You see the latest one?
Yeah, I don't know.
He's playing poker or something?
No.
That's tough.
Blackjack?
I mean, I know he's partied like extremely, extremely hard.
Yeah.
And he has like pill face.
Yeah.
He's all puffy.
That's the other thing too is like, and I don't think he's puffy just because of like partying.
I think he's puffy because of fillers.
What do you mean?
Like Botox stuff?
Yeah.
I think he's had a lot.
On this day in 1977, James Earl
Ray,
he killed Martin Luther King Jr.,
the king. He escaped
from prison in Tennessee with six others.
A lot of respect, right?
Got recaptured three days later.
Yeah, I would say if you make it more than a day.
If you get out of prison.
Yeah.
Imagine that high, though.
I mean, they built it to keep you in there.
Yet you somehow, just a little old you, you're just some guy.
Like a whole government built that to keep you in there.
Let me ask you this though.
Along the lines of your,
I want to be the lone survivor of a tragedy.
Do you feel less cool
as more people escape with you?
Do you know what I'm saying?
Like if you get out on your own.
Yeah, that's a real baller.
Yeah.
But if you're a part of like a...
Like Andy Dufresne.
Yeah, yeah.
But if you're a part of like a prison break,
I don't think that feels that cool.
Probably more of a chance you get away, though.
Swarm them.
Flood the zone.
Yeah, you're probably right.
But they didn't get away.
They didn't get away.
They got away for a couple days.
On this day in 1991, 11
year old J.C. Duggard
Duggard?
Of South Lake Tahoe,
California, was abducted
by Phillip and Nancy Garrido.
She was held by the couple for
18 years.
Raped repeatedly.
Had two kids
with Phillip,
and then was found by authorities.
And yeah, if you were wondering,
she's a nice looking lady.
Oh, no.
No, she's, yeah, she's.
Wasn't thinking that.
I don't know, so I wanted to,
you know, I want to date a former prisoner of war.
This one might be too far.
This one just might...
For the second time today, I'm going to say big of you.
This just might involve too much...
Trauma?
Trauma to deal with me.
Yeah.
Like, I don't think...
But the whole prisoner of war, i'm thinking you can get over that
yeah and the other thing i've always wondered about like the pow thing is
it's not all created equal like there have to be some pows that are just like look you just
can't leave dude yeah or lady they don't beat you and rape you and stuff. Right.
In this case, I
doubt there will be... The whole 11-year-old...
That's a little much. Yeah. That's a little much.
Now, this day in 2016, two
things happened. One, singer
Christina Grimmie,
a finalist on The Voice,
an NBC show, was
shot to death during a meet-and-greet.
What?
After a concert in Florida by an obsessed fan
who then killed himself.
I've never heard this story before.
No.
But I gotta say,
like, there's the guy
who killed John Lennon.
Yeah.
It's pretty low rent to be like, I'm obsessed with somebody.
I'm going to kill a final, not like the winner of The Voice.
Yeah.
Do you know what I'm saying?
Oh, I know exactly what you're saying.
Yeah, John Lennon, bro.
I mean, come on.
Respect.
That got me.
I was obsessed.
That's a Beatle. Yeah. We're all obsessed with John Lennon, bro. I mean, come on. Respect. That got me. I was obsessed. That's a Beatle.
Yeah.
We're all obsessed with John Lennon.
Yeah.
Like a whole society was.
It feels like telling everybody that Brooks Bollinger was your favorite football player or something.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's good that he killed himself.
And then on this day as well uh in 2016 same thing actor michael jace sentenced to
40 years in prison for shooting his wife april man that was a that was a wild story he's uh
on the shield right he is i probably met him julian he didn't kill me just like when i met
deshaun Watson.
He did not make me do anything to him.
That was a super weird story because, well, I mean, there's obviously like the fact that he killed his wife.
But he was just like such a tortured person on the show.
And then it was like, turns out he was actually like for real crazy.
Yeah.
He was a...
I mean, what are you going to do?
A closeted homosexual on the show.
If you remember, that was, like, his main story arc was that he was tormented by that.
I would like to have the time to go through that show again.
Dude, you're telling me.
Now, what if he was gay and Jewish?
Well, now
I have a flyer for him. Yeah.
Here, bro. Look at this.
He's telling you gay Jews aren't Jewish. Yeah, who's that flyer
for? Yeah, I don't know.
Still telling you. I don't know.
Birthdays
today, Anthony Hitchens, 32.
Dorrance Armstrong, 27.
Two former cowboy
greats. Peter King, 67.
Good friend of yours.
He went to Ohio University, but I've never met him.
He's only 67.
Yes, I would have thought Peter King was older.
I 100% would have gone 77.
Dan Fouts, 73.
Legend.
Kate Uptops, 32.
Cheap.
That was a cheap line, you say?
I've seen compromising photos of her, though.
Oh, was she in the Apple leak or whatever?
Yeah.
Is she still with Verlander?
I believe they are.
Are they married?
I believe they're married, yeah.
Hey, way to go.
Bill Burr, 56.
The great.
The absolute great.
He came out to like a, we had a remote somewhere and he just joined us.
I can tell you exactly where it was.
Were you running the show back then?
I was doing the top 10 back then.
All right.
But it was at Ozona on Greenville.
Yeah, he and I, he had problems with me at first.
But it was electric though.
Yeah.
It was like basically, you know, it's actually interesting.
The Spider-Man.
We've had a few, yeah, we've had a few comedians on over the past couple months, and those are the first
three times I've ever seen you deal with a comedian
where they weren't like,
what are we doing here?
Why does this guy suck?
But Bill Burr, it was
great content.
Dude, that was so long ago.
Yeah. It was before he
was on Breaking Bad, I think. For sure, before
that. For sure.
Rich Hall is 70.
Fill me in.
Baseball?
Who? I think Rich Hall.
I don't know who that is.
Oh, wait. I also don't know who it is. I was thinking it was Julia Louise Dreyfuss' husband, but that's Brad Hall?
Who the hell's Rich Hall?
I mean, you're reading his birthday.
Look it up, Rachel.
I mean, it just says comedian, but there's nothing really of note here.
I don't know who that guy is.
No, that's not...
How to lose your money the right way in Vegas.
All right.
Dump that whole thing.
Can we dump things?
Can I tell you a funny note from his Wikipedia page?
Kemp Spin.
SNL? Richard Hall was born
in Alexandria, Virginia and
grew up in Charlotte, North Carolina.
He claims to be
of partial Cherokee descent.
I just think that's a funny note.
I wonder what we could claim that could get on our Wikipedia.
Don't you get free college, though, if you're like partial, even like a tenth?
I'm so close.
They get free college and a hotel room at the Ritz.
That's right.
Yep.
And yep.
I remember like actually trying to check on it when I was a kid.
Just because you're all kind of...
You can look at Jake and be like, I don't know.
My mom's grandmother looked like a native to me.
And she, you know, had that background.
Yeah, and you got that dark hair.
And I was like, okay, well, how close are we?
Yeah.
Not close enough.
Frankie Faison is 75.
He was on The Wire.
F-I-I-S-O-N.
Tim Van Patten is 65.
I knew him as a kid as he was Salami in The White Shadow,
but then he became somewhat of a notable director, I believe.
I think he might have directed the finale of Sopranos,
but I could be wrong.
Don't look that up.
I won't.
Kate Flannery is 60.
That's Meredith from The Office.
Elizabeth Hurley is 59.
Really weird career arc. Elizabeth Hurley is 59. Really weird career arc.
Elizabeth Hurley?
Just like there was a time where she was like the hottest woman in Hollywood.
Like hottest getting good roles or hottest like she's just good looking?
I feel like she always played a MILF.
Like she was always...
She might have been before time.
And she was married to Hugh Grant.
And then she just,
I mean,
when's the last time you saw or heard anything about her?
Yeah.
I hope she's doing okay.
Me too.
Rapper.
The DOC is 56.
Dallas.
Actor DJ Qualls,
46.
Do you know what happened to the DOC?
Mm.
I don't know the specific medical condition, but he got...
Progeria?
No.
He got something that basically killed his vocal cords.
Probably bad if you're a rapper.
So he wrote everything for Dr. Dre.
Ah.
And a bunch of other people too because he was
Ed Lover?
Ed Lover?
Thank you, Bob.
We're just having a good time.
Sasha Obama is 23.
One of the Obama kids. Yep.
Born on this day, now dead, Judy Garland.
Why do you moan?
No.
No, sorry, no.
That's Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.
I know it was Dorothy.
I just thought of, I know she had a hard career, like of what she went through during the...
Yeah, I believe there's a documentary.
I mean, it's the way it was.
I mean, she was like pills.
Like they were just forcing her to not eat, take pills.
And that's just how...
It's the first color movie, right?
But I'm sure they weren't sexually harassing her or anything.
No, very respectful.
Everything was fine.
Probably not.
Fine with that.
Treat her with respect.
Speaking of treating your
actresses with respect,
Hattie McDaniel, born
in this day and age, the first African-American
actor to win an Oscar. It was in
1940. And what that
did for the nation is it kind
of opened everyone's eyes to, hey, wait.
Have we been
treating a certain segment of society wrong?
Let's change everything.
Hold the phone.
And then after she won that Oscar,
certainly she was just showered with riches.
They actually said,
please move into my neighborhood.
They actually didn't let her go to the ceremony.
I'm reading here.
Hold the fort. Hold the fort.
Hold the fort.
They said, why don't you just sit there with Jesse Owens?
Your heroes.
Because I don't think he was treated very nicely when he got back either.
I think that would be a safe assumption, yeah.
And also born on this day now dead.
I forgot he was not alive.
Marion Barber, MB3.
And Marion Barber has what we'll put on the video screen right now,
what's considered to be the greatest two-yard run in NFL history.
Do you remember this?
Of course.
Like it's from their own five-yard line.
Tones roams.
Yeah, we should watch that again.
Watch Romo, his whole action there.
He's looking for a face mask.
He hands off left.
He complains to the ref.
Then he tries a really poor block.
What's he going to do?
Anyway, though, Marion Barber ended up running 10 yards back,
or at least 10 yards, maybe more.
Like, he ended up running, what, 50 yards?
Probably.
To gain two.
But he didn't get a safety.
No, he didn't.
That's the key.
And then I think, I don't remember if it was the same day,
but then he took a gun into a church.
Marion Barber did?
Look it up.
It turns out being a running back who's known as the barbarian
might result in some issues with your brain.
In 2014.
Was he the guy with, not Julius Jones, who was the fastest?
Felix.
Felix Jones.
Did they pair those two up?
No. Mary and Barbara? Who was his cohort?
He had a running back cohort that
Mary and Barbara would come in to pound it.
Tashard Choice, maybe?
I feel like I know what you're talking about.
I feel like it was Felix Jones. You might be right.
We would use him for the...
But we need some short yardage.
I mean, in college
it was
Darren McFadden.
Right?
Darren McFadden was with Felix Jones.
Yeah.
They were mates.
Now, I thought in Fort Worth once, there was a bad guy with a gun,
and a good guy with a gun came out and shot that bad guy with a gun,
so you want to have a gun in church.
It's happened
before, yeah.
And also died on this day, still
dead. What?
Let's see. We have
Ray Charles, we have Gordie Howe, we also have
Margaret Helt. Ray Charles, real
heroin success story.
Really? Well, just the idea that you
can be that smacked out.
I didn't know he was into heroin.
Ray Charles?
Yeah.
Am I wrong?
The Blind?
Yeah, dude.
You never seen the movie?
What's the movie?
Ray?
I've never seen the movie.
No, if you're saying in the movie Ray he was into heroin, I'm going to believe it.
He used it at the age of 18 to cope with his brother's death yeah he had to have people like tie him off it began with marijuana commonly
referred to as a gateway drug nobody ever talks about the good part of heroin that's what i'm
saying this helped rick charles get over his brother's musicians of all time did it make him
blind i think he was already blind um but I don't, I wasn't there.
He couldn't see.
Like,
I knew what blind meant.
Just kidding.
He,
but,
but that was the thing
is like to,
to be addicted to heroin
and to be blind,
like somebody has to
do it for you.
Yes.
It's hard to find a vein,
right?
Yeah,
exactly.
You should see that movie, dude. It's really, really
good. Jamie Foxx,
right? Mm-hmm.
I love Jamie Foxx. Me too. And, you know, he can
sing quite well. He can
sing, he can dance, he can act.
It feels very legit.
Is he been doing okay?
There was something that came out that he was in the hospital and then...
I think it's because of the vaccine.
Oh.
That's what they say when anybody dies.
Yeah.
I love it.
And then you get both sides.
We're going to get...
Yeah.
Are we going to get shadow banned?
We're going to lose our YouTube channel.
I want to get shadow banned.
Do you think Pfizer will do a commercial?
We could get Travis Kelsey.
Ooh.
And Taylor Swift.
I've met her, though, in 2007.
It feels like with your...
She does that a lot.
You have a Taylor's version cover on your laptop.
Mm-hmm.
So I feel like you're really stoked on Taylor.
I've been following her since she was the opening act for the opening act for
Brad Paisley here in Dallas.
So I knew her before anybody else knew her.
So there's a chance that you could end up in today in history one day
as a person who killed a pop star than yourself.
Yeah, because she's obsessed.
Yeah.
But that's a good one to be obsessed with.
It's much better than third place on The Voice.
You killed Taylor Swift,
we'd be like, cool.
Taylor Smith.
Taylor Smith is a former intern of ours, actually.
I think now that would make,
we'd laugh at that.
Like, you shouldn't kill Taylor Smith.
She's not as famous.
That signature that I have is from her debut album.
And I looked it up.
It's worth like $6,000.
Because it's her original signature before.
She was like big.
She was, again, opening for Jack Ingram, opening for Brad Paisley.
And she wrote, I love Rachel on my t-shirt and signed my pink Razor phone.
Look at that.
That story's so old, it involves a Razor my pink Razor phone. Look at that. That story's so old it involves a
Razor. Pink Razor phone.
What do you think that's worth
in this room though? Because anything is only
worth what somebody will pay for it.
This room, probably not.
I'm not going to do any slander
right now. Jake's daughter would probably
think it's cool. I bet Jake's
daughter wouldn't care at all. No, she would.
Would she really? Big time. I've already lost the plot on that one. She wouldn't care at all. No, she would. Would she, really?
Big time.
I've already lost the plot on that one.
She wasn't that impressed when she met me, and I was thinking, okay, that just means she doesn't want to meet anybody.
You're saying Taylor Swift.
Smith.
I would say most people she's pretty excited about, actually.
Okay.
It might have just been you.
Yeah, it was me.
Died on this day is Margaret Helt.
She is the hairdresser who created the beehive.
Okay.
That feels like one that's not coming back, but... A lot of things do come back.
Mm-hmm.
Do you think wearing a rug will ever come back?
Like, Terry Bradshaw went bald, and he wore a wig for quite some time. You know... Are you asking wearing a rug will ever come back? Like Terry Bradshaw went bald and he wore a wig for quite some time.
You know.
Are you asking for a friend?
Yeah, no.
I think it would be.
Do you think it'd be absolutely awesome if you showed up with a toupee?
But no, I think that.
Let's pitch more.
I think that probably technology has advanced to a point where people are not doing it anymore.
Because even like that thing that Witten was doing, everybody made fun of him for saying that it was makeup.
It kind of was makeup.
I think it's called Topic.
The fake hair thingy?
Yeah, but it's...
Look, I don't really know what it is,
but I know it's like the thing that
Brian Urlacher was pushing.
He was on the station a couple times.
And now Dan McDowell.
Why not?
I think you gotta have a little something to work with, though.
Well, I might.
I might have like a ring.
I'm sure I have a norm ring.
Could start playing.
But I don't think I have anything on top.
I'm never going bald.
There you go.
Yeah, my husband, when we met on Tinder and on his profile pictures, he had hair.
And when I met him, he was bald.
And I freaked out.
And he still is bald still bald yeah it's funny
that is a little bit shysty though it's because he's funny there's so much like if if you saw a
chick uh on tinder and then when you met it was clear that she had had a breast reduction
okay no that would be Yeah, but she's funny.
She's like,
gotcha.
Whoopie cushion.
I mean, my friend convinced me to call him back. I was like,
no, no, no. And now we're married.
That must be weird
to be a lady
because you really have no
idea about the size
that you're worried about.
Like, we got a little bit
of a roadmap.
If you would have let off with that,
it would have been great.
I was like,
why did we keep this?
But yeah,
that's how Tinder works.
The episode's nine.
I mean, at least we get a little idea.
We're into jugs.
Oh, okay.
I can see your jugs
even under the shirt.
Dude, I think...
I'm thinking that's going to be a good thing once I see it.
But then, you know, I drop my pants and she's like, oh.
It's like-
I think-
Hold on.
I've thought this for a very long time.
My readers.
The-
Don't do that.
The male obsession with size of penis is extremely latently homoerotic like more guys are worried
about it yes than girls i think so i think once you get to like average most women are just they
want to be like emotional with you i think i'm sorry if i'm delving into female psychology here.
Sounds like she's saying no, actually.
I'm looking for a hog.
I'm still thinking back to where you talked about watching a porn where the guy was like critical at the end and you're like, don't do that to her.
Like defending her.
Yeah.
Nobody wants that.
I don't think it matters that much.
And perhaps that's just what I tell myself,
but I really don't think,
I think it's weird how much guys care about it.
Like, I think there's a reason for the term
dick measuring contest.
And it just means like dudes being like,
sup?
So what I'm saying is you're fine, bud.
How big you packing, bro?
They all love it, Dan.
That's what I'm telling you.
You're fine.
All right.
They think it's great.
And that was today in history.
Probably a long episode.
Extremely long.
We did pause a couple times.
We might be a little bit short tomorrow, though.
Yeah, tomorrow we're going to be at Washed Media in Austin.
Mm-hmm.
And so why are we doing that?
Because they are our media partners.
I believe they technically own us.
Okay.
In some form or fashion.
They demanded that we do a show in Austin, and we just said, whatever you say.
Whatever you say, sir.
We'll be there.
Thank you, chef.
So you like when they call everyone chef?
It's yes, chef.
I've been saying it a lot.
I had to do it.
You don't order chef.
Yes, chef.
Yes.
I worked for like Wolfgang Puck.
Like, I mean, there was...
Look at this.
It's very...
We need a full Rachel episode one day.
Yeah, we need a full who is Rachel.
We've got penis opinions.
Steven Piles.
That was the big one.
Is that a good way to end?
Yeah.
Kind of went out with a little bit of a whimper.
Yeah, no, no, no.
Don't do that.
What would Blake do?
What would Blake do?
You know what I'm going to end with?
If you want to stick around and hear it, you can.
It's just two minutes.
I put a little montage together.
I listened to some of the washed guys,
and they were reading dumb zone Reddit comments.
And so we'll just let you listen to that.
And then tomorrow when you hear us,
we will actually be at their studios.
So it's circling back is the name of the podcast,
right?
Fantastic show that we're going to be on.
And that's who was talking.
So,
uh,
we'll let Matt Brunig chime in. Ad mofo and then uh here we go uh we launched
a nice little video the other day uh announcing uh that dumb zone is officially a podcast that's
affiliated with wash media it's a nice partnership and i think it'll be mutually uh beneficial as uh
most partnerships are so their listeners i assume are pretty excited about this too yeah
you know it depends on where you look.
Yeah.
So no, they're so excited that I've actually isolated some comments from the Dumb Zone
subreddit.
Do you mind if I read some of these?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, let's see.
Talking about how funny we are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This one actually directly talks about how funny we are.
It says, is Washed Media supposed to be a comedy podcast network?
It was not clear from the video.
Huh.
Someone said,
we had someone try, they initiated their loading phase. I wonder if
we got them. It said, personally, I tried circling
back a few weeks ago and thought the guys on that were
conceited, over-laughing douchebags.
Someone said,
someone actually agreed with the above take. They said,
subscribe based on Jake's appearance on their
show and tried listening to a few episodes.
Thank you for your time.
You gave us a shot to earn your business,
and that's all we can ask for.
So to those last two, thank you.
I think he gave us a really good compliment
based on the couple episodes that he listened to.
He said, all I can say is that they sound like
they'd get along great with the Dude Perfect guys.
Well, the final thing just said,
I felt like the dumb zone was really coming alive
with a fun cast of characters during football fall
streams. Now,
Jake's douchebag pals from Austin
are likely to spoil this kind of vibe
in the future. Yeah. Wouldn't be the
first time I spoiled some vibes for people.
They call us the vibe
spoilers. Yeah. I like
being the loudest group of guys whenever
you walk into a bar and just spoiling the vibe for everyone
except your core.
I feel like we're vibe amplifiers more than anything yeah right we're the type of guys we're the type of guys who show up to the bar immediately ask the bartender if he
can change the channel yeah and then we just loudly talk and then we'll put like 20 in the
touch tones and leave yeah that's us that's what we do that's what we do yeah i'm glad that they're
excited about this like just
as much as we are major shot to the dumb zone and their listeners is that a vocal minority uh
minority i don't know if it's a minority i think based on the subreddit it was pretty 50 50. so a
good representation i'll take 50 50. yeah yeah, I'm just glad there's a conversation.
And here's the cool thing, and you don't have to listen to our show.
No.
That's one of the things.
We're not going to embed Dan and Jake's show into the middle of our show.
Nothing they say can hurt you like anything in the TFM comments could hurt you.
Yeah.
We were born from a different, cut from a different cloth, different breed.
They don't make online personalities like us anymore.
No.
We're different.