The Dumb Zone FREE - The Stars advance past the Jets and The Dumb Zone crashes a wedding | DZ 5-19-25

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

Get every episode of The Dumb Zone by subscribing to the show at DumbZone.com or Patreon.com/TheDumbZoneWe're coming off a big weekend where the Stars advance to the conference finals and we crashed a DF's wedding. Jared Sandler joins us as the Rangers split with the Astros and their fans let him know about it. Then we've got a Mexican Naval boat striking the Brooklyn Bridge and some NFL teams mocked the Cowboys in their schedule release videos (00:00) - Open: Weekend check (36:23) - The Dumb Zone crashes a wedding (56:16) - Jared Sandler: Distaste for Astros fans (01:28:05) - Sports: Stars advance past the Jets (01:49:43) - NFL schedule releases mocking Cowboys (02:02:01) - News: Mexican Navy ship hits Brooklyn Bridge (02:23:26) - VM birthdays/Today in History ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

Hello, I'm DFW's own Danny Bayless letting you know that you are about to hear a free podcast of the dumb zone. But if you'd like to subscribe at dumbzone.com, you will get four shows per week plus the weekend wrap up and any bonus epi's like our business Wednesday interviews. Oh, you'll also get our DZTV archives again, that's a dumb zone.com to subscribe. Now on to today's program. The Dumb Zone. What did you waste all day this weekend? All day on a nice Saturday of sports at a car dealership? You're an idiot. You could have gone to fairlease.org. There is no car dealership for you to go visit. You could do this all from your couch. You could do this all from your bathtub, I guess.

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get more for your trade at fairlease.org. It is important that you click request a quote and then select the dumb zone on the how did you hear about us. It would be frankly cruel if you're listening to this right now and did otherwise. Like if you went on there and typed in like CNN's five things, that would be...

Yeah, I agree. That would be... Yeah, I agree. That would be terrible. Yeah, but they're a Texas based company. Help the dumb zone. Help Fair Lease. Help yourself, really, really. What do you mean, but? That didn't even...

They're not going out to CNN. They're going to Texas products like us. That's a good point. You backed it up. Just like they will. Yeah. At fairlease.org. The proceeding and the following content

are brought to you by no puppet productions Says here her claim to fame is being in sports illustrated for having such massive sweater dogs It's insulting to call them sweater puppies according to her daughter She got me too to buy Jerry Jones at a Cowboys game. Yep Jerry Jones at a Cowboys game. Yep. Jerry Jones pointed at my mom's chest and said, that's great, that's fantastic. While he was in the suite. Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright.

Alright, alright, alright, alright. Why don't you two just get a room? I never listen, I'm gonna listen. I wanna listen. That's our dynamic, we fight and then we make up. That mustache. Why don't you two just get a room? Hahaha That's our dynamic, we fight and then we make up That mustache Mustache makes make up sex What a mustache Hello again everybody, my name is Dan McDell

I'm Jake Kim I'm Blake Jones We got Clayton here as well CK. We have a big Monday program for you. I don't know. It's a fair size Monday program for you. Last week of school. Oh yeah?

Yeah. I don't know if this is a back or not, but I think if you look at the things that are back lists, they pretty squarely line up with just stuff that Dan has been on for the last 10 or so years. I think we've done away with kindergarten graduation. Small bottoms? No, well, I don't know.

I feel like fake butts are going out. But I don't think the squat-centric female workout is ever going anywhere. That's an interesting observation about this list because it's currently Dodgeball, Alcatraz, Pete Rose, and HBO Max. Yeah, and the first person I ever heard yelling about why are they having a graduation for kindergarten was Dan, when I was like 20. And I was like, yeah, that does suck. What are you, idiot? It's like having a graduation for kindergarten was Dan, when I was like 20.

And I was like, yeah, that is, that does suck. What are you, idiot? It's like having a kid. Yeah. Like you stayed alive to five in modern America. It says it's Somalia. It's not you're not a child rebel soldier. Like if you graduate from college,

that's kind of like an accomplishment. Some people don't make it through college. Yeah. Some people, yeah. Not for everyone. The ultimate don't make it through college. Yeah. Some people, yeah. Not for everyone. The ultimate accomplishment is not needing it though. He gets invited to go speak at colleges without finishing college, like an NBA player.

But I mean, you go because it's been four long years and late night studying. Somebody paid money. And even the high school in a similar way, the journey through public, kindergarten, it's the easiest year I've ever had. Yeah, if you had to rank them. Stack some blocks.

It'd be near the bottom. What do you remember about it? They don't even grade. You can't tell me one thing you did. No. You can't fail. I don't even think you can, you can fail. You can, ah. You can decide, you know what,

you're not ready yet to move on, but it's not like that doesn't happen very often. There's no test. There's no test that you have to pass. And then that summer you get your GED for kindergarten? Right. Like you work a little extra harder? You have to smoke.

Caller some stuff? Smoke cigarettes. Anyway. We're calling it Kindergarten Awards, folks. We're doing awards. We're not doing graduation. Oh, so we did today? Yeah.

So most likely to be in Hustler? No, it's all bullsh. It's, they do come up. You have to give everyone an award then, kind of. Yeah, but they make them up, and I was a little confused because there's four classes, I don't know, 20 kids in a class, and after the first class, they're all unique.

Like this kid gets the Zebra Award because they were Z-bravest when it came to this particular project. Actually, they were fire and you guys are a-holes. They were good. Good for me. That wasn't good. Well, okay, you had to do 20 of them, right?

But then I realized I'm like, but they're going to a second class. I'm like, there's no way they have 80 bars This bag and like the first kid of class two was the zebra. That was like the last kid of class I'm like, okay. I see what we're doing here. There's one eagle. We got one goldfish one shark Good. Yeah, and so they all get a little deal. It moved quick. It moved real quick. I was expecting to be late to the show today, but you know, after they read everybody's name,

you kind of just sit there. Kid would rather be with their friends, friends, than you. But to Blake's point, I did ask, I was like, yo, do you remember your first day here? She's like, no. I'm like, well, what do you remember? Nothing.

Okay, good, good deal. All right. Bet you got pictures, right? Yeah, it was cool. For the Gram, did your wife Gram your kid? Was it a controversial thing or no? Yeah, until I gave up. But I also feel like I set the tone.

Like my in-laws don't really do it. My mom doesn't do it. She doesn't post the kids on social. Yeah, it seems like someone that was older would be more concerned about that. Yeah, but they also don't have any feel for social media guidelines at all. That's why they're watching videos at max volume and Ross.

Kroger, yeah. Ross. So it's Monday, so we have Jared Sandler on the show later on. He will talk Rangers with us. He went mini Vi. And we have, in studio, we have a sit-in. Wow.

What a day. And it is a lady. She is Girl Jordan. Girl Jordan, yes. Girl Jordan. That's not what I call her. Go on. I know Blake now has your number.

Yes. So I'm sorry about that. Card-carrying member of the Beehive. She's got the shirt. Oh, she has a Beehive shirt. She does. And her name, as I've known her for many years as an emailer, Jordan Alford. Is that still your name?

In the state of Texas, no. No longer Jordan Alford. Is that still your name? In the state of Texas, no. No longer Jordan Alford. ID currently, yes, but state of Texas. Okay, so you are changing your name. Of course. Jordan got married on Saturday. Whoa. Maddie.

It was either that or a transition, Sitch. Yeah. Either or. Or like an Ocho Cinco thing. Oh yeah. I don't look like a teenage boy, it is what it is. Better world peace. Married.

Married and we went to her wedding. Yeah, we did. Three massive things happened Saturday. I got married, met everyone from the dumb zone, stars one, two, three, seven. Wrap it up right there, the, the Weekend Troika. What a perfect day. It was funny being there and your mom said,

oh, she'll never forget this now. And I was just wondering if she might have forgotten it. It took a couple minutes before Dan said, so you think she would have forgot maybe if we weren't here. Yeah, like, what was that thing we did? We had that party. I think the Starz won that day. We were outside. What was it? There was a lone star. Yeah, like what was that thing we did? We had that party. I think the stars won that day, we were outside. What was it?

There was a Lone Star. Oh, my wedding. There's still Lone Star here, I don't know what you're talking about. Did you do the, I don't know if they actually showed this on Game of Thrones, but I know that I heard that it happened in that time where like now, like, your husband has sex with you,

but everybody in the family's watching? That's consummating the marriage, yeah. So that's actually where the garter belt thing came from. Oh, okay. Yeah, so essentially the family would rip the woman's clothes off and force them to do it in front of the family, make sure that was gonna happen. Exactly.

And it started becoming a tradition more or less for the groom to take a portion of the woman's clothing toss it to the family So we're gonna we're gonna have sex later The history the history of marriages and but I mean the groomsmen they were initially Designated to kidnap the woman and make sure she didn't go anywhere Damn, I never really thought about it. It probably wasn't just like hey, you're getting married Why don't you find some some of your boys get crushed beers with? All right, I never thought of that. I want to talk about the wedding

Okay, there's a lot to talk about but I want to do like a weekend check not wedding first go for it Okay, that would be brought to us Jordan by Elite Rides DFW. Do you know what that is? I do. I use them for my wedding. Whoa! I did! Unbelievable.

I did not know this, really? Yes, I did. Okay, what was that experience? It was phenomenal. I was trying to sneak a little champagne glass in from under my dress and we're good. You don't have to do that. You don't have to hide that from me.

That's right. I think somebody had emailed us, in fact, the fact that Elite Rides, they have chauffeur licenses. Right. So you're allowed to do the drinking in there. It's okay. It wasn't a long ride, but man, I felt like a princess.

Yeah. Yeah. No matter the length of the ride, they're cool. Yeah. They're licensed. Great place to go to like sporting events or something. Concerts. Jordan loves some stars games.

That'd be a great place to go to a stars game. Then you can get your drink on and they'll drive you home. Maybe a corporate outing. You know, crazy, those things. I don't, I have zero idea what that even is. So call 844-RIDE-DFW and tell about them. Again, it's the dumb zone. It wasn't, you know, club shay-shay,

or it's very important you tell these people this. They got an app. Can you believe that? An app. They're ahead of the game. No, no, that's super tight. Promo code DZ15 for 15% off your first ride. Please do tell them the dumb zone sent you.

That is Elite Rides DFW bringing you the weekend check. I'll go quick if you want. I don't have like a ton. Friday we did the Main Street grapevine. Met up with TC and his daughter. We bought the- No wives and stuff? Wives?

I was there with wife. TC wife had a foot injury and refused all of our demands of her to get the rascal. We really wanted her to do it and to just be cruising the streets of downtown Great Fire, but she... She didn't want to wear that scarlet letter? She didn't do it. So TC and I both bought the unlimited pass and then did the math on the ride numbers

and then kept that math and hit her over. Did you? Okay. Because we had a limited amount of time. That's the goal. We walked down there, you know, so that eats up some time, but I was like, all right, we need, let's keep track here

because not all these rides are the same amount. So. Was it a million degrees? I'm trying to remember what Saturday was. It was hot, but not all these rides are the same amount, so. Was it a million degrees? I'm trying to remember what Saturday was. It was hot, but not like horrible, horrible. But it got warm, but it's the evening, you know? So, yeah, did that, and then I don't even, there was really nothing exceptional on Saturday

until the wedding. Kind of built my whole day around it. And really it was just like, hey, I can go see the guys. I can go see my fellas. And it turned out to be like a beautiful place. Yeah. Cool people. Then yesterday, I was supposed to have

flag football playoffs. There, it's a tough season to get in. Anybody in rec league in spring knows, Blake knows, you got Mother's Day and even Valentine's Day sometimes is still in there. There's just a lot of bullshit in there. And then you get, now it has to be done by Memorial Day. So we were supposed to play at two.

I got there at 1.50 and I was told we're now playing at three. Because the one o'clock game hasn't started yet. And our second game was supposed to be at four, provided we won first. Did we see lightning or something? What's going on? Yeah.

And our good friend Jerry of Mucky Duck, Scruffy Duffies, and now the local Shacks at Austin Ranch, where we'll have our summer event, he has a stepson that plays for the God Squad. Interesting. Really? He texted me on Saturday. He was like, hey, do you have playoffs tomorrow?

Did he just put this together? Yeah, and I was like, yeah, we do. It was when my stepson said he had playoffs in Grapevine. He's like, haven't you talked about a team you play against? Jerry has a stepson. Called the God Squad or mercy on your show And we yeah, he's like I think he's on that team. That's awesome. So he was there Drove all the way out there and then there were no games played on the whole day on

Gay youtube.com or whatever do they have like stepson, stepdad stuff going? Like, cause stepmom. Fascinating. Stepson is a thing. You can chime in any time you want. You're on your- How can you confirm that? I have gay friends. So they'll fire up a-

It's 2025 Daniel. I mean if you- Okay, so they'll fire up a stepdad video. Oh yeah. Hot stepdad. If you're like a 17 year old, if you're a 17 year old attractive man who is gay, and how would this work?

Like you would have to have, you'd have to have a gay dad, wouldn't you? The firewall is preventing me from going to gayyoutube.com. Why would you have to have a gay dad? Well, because your stepdad has to be down to bang you, right? He has to be like an object of your, right. So your stepdad, I mean, provided he's married to a mom,

that's a little tougher to pull off. Oh yeah, what if it was gay? Because I almost think he would have to be, because in the other scenario, it's very easy, right? You're just married to the mom, now here's the new version. Right. What were we talking about? Jerry has a stepson. Oh yeah.

I don't think he's ever hooked up with. But who knows? Sounds like he's an athlete. So yeah, I'm out there, I've already pawned off the kids, it's nap time, I have three hours set aside for myself here, very rare. And it never even like rained.

So I was- Can Trump do something about that? Like executive order- Shoot up there. Oh, the lightning thing? Yeah, if there's a lightning, how about five minutes? Let's just not do this, you gotta wait 80 minutes to... I mean, that's kind of like going in the pool

a half hour after you eat a sandwich. I never really understood what was supposed to happen there. When they say cramping, like are you just supposed to, like you gotta poop yourself? I don't know. Obviously we've all. But how often have you just been sitting by the side of the pool, regretting,

I just ate a half a peanut butter sandwich. Geez, yeah, the half-life off this thing, I won't be able to get back in until tomorrow. But much like with the lights and how expensive they are, we've all tested this, right? I've eaten a piece of pizza, getting into the pool, and been like, let's see. You don't die.

No, I once ate a plate of spaghetti in the pool. By the way, don't let us forget, when we go to that Rangers game this year, we're all taking in gallon-sized bags of food. I'm watching a lot of Rangers now, and every time they cut to the crowd, I'm like, that would be very funny. It's a full bag of chili.

If we do the thing where we get a few hundred people there, we'll encourage them. Everybody bring your own. Soup and dumplings or whatever. Yeah, we could have an impressive spread. We could. Yeah, just a bag of charcuterie bag. I was just about to say that.

Yeah. So anyways, now I'm sitting in my car, I'm geeked out of my mind, all caffeineed up and stretched out. So I just went to the gym and then. Crushed it. Called Dan, so we could have another meeting. Put on your golds, gym, little string,

tee thing, what do they call it tank top you know I work out in the tank top I don't wear it to the gym though hmm I can't do it I think of Blake the whole time let's check in with Clayton for a weekend check if indeed you have something for us um yeah I did a couple of things this weekend all right mostly on Sunday Saturday was sleep day just slept all something for us? Yeah I did a couple of things this weekend. Alright. Mostly on Sunday, Saturday was sleep day. Just slept all day Saturday. That's fascinating. Like a hibernating bear. Pretty much. You just don't get, do you get up and how does it work? Why are you trying to break this down? The master's over here to tell you. Yeah. Woke, so woke up about 10. After going to bed at? 2. Okay.

Saturday phone call with my mom. Weekly? Every week Saturday phone call with the mom. Yeah. What a good boy. I know. That's what I call him came home about 130 fell back asleep didn't wake up till 230 the next morning dang morning That's be a 12-hour siesta. That's beautiful Wow, and then what do you do? Like you're awake at you can't do it. I would like I would like to sound a sleep that long you go to water burger and you Get a breakfast to keep I mean sleep wise from 23030 Sunday morning, how do we get to now? I woke up at 2.30 a.m. on Sunday, I went to Water Burger, got a breakfast taquito, came back home, turned you into a baby.

Yeah, I saw that. We need to talk about that later. that. We need to talk about that later. And then followed along with our discord. We had some, I had to do some food stuff in there. Okay. I had to do some food stuff. The streets are calling. Yeah, we had some chicken nugget issues, the Taco Bell, we had to suss it out. I believe you, but the sleep thing though. What? So you were, from Sunday morning at 2 30 a.m. until last night you were awake? I went to bed at 2.30 a.m. Monday morning. Okay. So yeah.

Yeah. No I can't Dan, I actually, I did sleep for almost eight straight hours one night this weekend, and it requires me doubling up on sleep medication. Which I do like once every two or three weeks, but I did sleep for seven hours and 45 minutes straight.

12 is like, I would have to be on fucking barbiturates at this age to sleep for, I would have to be, and it's like put under. I got you something that might help. I recorded, my wife was telling me a story about something that happened at work. Yeah. Okay.

And it's like the LeBron app thing. Like it's just my wife talking about what so and so did at work. Dude, that's a really funny sketch idea. Cause like I see it on there all, like Walton Goggins has one now. Every it actor has one, but it's just introducing wine

instead of calm, like what would we call it? Well that's how I tell how long is like, I normally fall asleep watching YouTube videos. You can see. And then I just go back to my history and see like how many. That's amazing that you could sleep that long cause they say that's a terrible thing to do

and that's you're gonna get a poor sleep if you're watching videos right before you go to bed. Damn I wonder how he'll take this info, huh? Think he's gonna change my life horrible. No, I'm saying he's sleeping 12 hours. I don't care He's no wake up grab a five hour on my way in this morning All right pop in so all and out of control go brother But I know we had a we had a feat this weekend in the discord Tds did the nine for nine challenge

For the rangers game nine beers nine hot dogs nine innings Whoa, yeah. Yeah, that is something that is incredible. Very very impressive. What's his name? What's the name the handle tbs? Well, it's a it's a it's texas donkey show. Of course it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah, yeah. I don't know why I asked. Yeah, like, Discord, we get fun with the names, but yeah. I think I know one guy who did that before. You ever try that feat? No. I'm pretty sure, I don't know if there were hot dogs.

I probably did it without, yeah, I don't know about the eating part. Tuesday? Yeah, you have to stay on schedule. Back in the old days, going to a game, why do you go to a baseball game? If not to drink a beer every inning. David Robinson of Ticket Ticker fame, I believe,

once did his updates every, maybe two innings, doing that beer inning. Oh, that's awesome. It's the old days, man. My non-wedding weekend, not too exciting, but I did want to show you, since we were at Fox 4, oh, I guess, you know what I did yesterday? I did a lot of stuff. Behind the scenes, we're trying to get ready the the Dumb Zone generic summer event presented by Qualis Roofing which of course is Saturday June 7th the local

shacks at Austin Ranch you will be there? I'm gonna make it one way or another I am currently a stay-at-home wife so. From what I understand you live in Houston though. I do that's that's four hours for you guys of course and drop the hat. They might have the bullet train going by then. That's fine. Oh well. There's a fun story about that. Anyway, the generic event, yes. Qualis Roofing is bringing it to us and we've got supporting sponsors as well now. They're all up and flying. Community Mechanical, Texas Trident Garage Doors, Fair Lease. Have you ever heard of FairLease.org? And Silverback Construction. So that's, we got all of them on board,

but behind the scenes we're trying to get stuff together. So actually when you show up, there's, it's gonna like work. Uh, and apparently you can't just do that like the Friday before. You can't do that on just June 6th. So Yeah, no, we're fired up looking forward to that. I Watched the new superband trailer Remember the my review of the first Superman trailer. Yeah, it was like a stupid little dog dog

There's not an as much dog, but there's still, any dog is way too much dog. So they had like some action figures in there, or action scenes, you know, quick this and that. And like one time, you know, Lex Luthor or somebody bad guy is like got Superman. But then the dog flies. What are we doing?

I can't do it. What are we doing? I'm going to have to watch this movie. It's not canon in any way, right? Like did he have a? It might be something in a comic, but who's reading that? Cause it's like a little Maltese or something.

Maybe like my grandpa in 19 whatever, you know, read that comic. Dude, Superman gets infinitely lamer if you give him a little lab talk. Well, and the dog somehow has powers. And it's just nonsensical. Like, it really does make sense, scientifically, that Superman has powers.

You have to understand. He came from the other galaxy. It's the sun. It's the sun he gets his powers from, and that makes a lot of sense we all get a lot from the Sun Thank you son of life. Thank you son. Yeah people have not been Appreciating it. I've noticed no we don't talk about the Sun Yeah, yeah, like if you didn't have that Sun think I got you'd be bumping into everything mothers get a whole day The Sun's just up there putting in work. Yeah, but yeah

Superman I'm gonna have to see it because I feel like now I'm kind of like the guy that I have to do it I know that's how I feel about the new Jurassic Park, which looks like absolute dog poop, but I'm like Okay, I got brand new glasses wait. Did you not see the last episode of the boys? Where the flash was really unhappy with his movie trailer He didn't quite know what to do about it. Why would you just do a drive by insulting one of the great TV shows of our time? It is a great TV show. And you know what? That is actually a plot line, Blake.

It is. Thank you, Jordan. I respect you. Oh, yeah. Let's not get out of control here. But our buddy, John Kukla, who works at Fox Four, was taking in the show and he said, hey, I saw the Ernest stuff. He gave some thumbs up. He liked the Ernest stuff we did. We were talking about the Ernest movie series and how I reviewed all the trailers.

And he said, Fox 4 actually has a history with Ernest. And we have a couple of videos to prove it. And Clayton will now play one of them for you to prove what I just said. And it is Ernest who... Hey,... So yeah. Just class. That James got him away with numbers ain't he Vern? Hey Vern, I believe the Suds will stay on it better over there. Know what I mean? So yeah, just class. Ernest. Just pure class. You wanna play the other one? I don't know if the other one's I was like, Ernest meets Boat Power. Can enhance it too much, but Ernest definitely Was just recording.

Hey Vern! Oh, he's alert. Vern Hussle, get that old TV antenna fixed. Put this in here and that in there and that in there and this in here. The Channel 4 news is about to come on. the James and Paul the channel for news team a great bunch of guys know what I mean Furner and they put them off the ladder Classic yeah, I don't know how you could not love it and then I got Was this Friday Saturday morning? I don't know. I got new glasses. Did I tell you I went to the eye doctor last week couple weeks ago Anyway, went to the eye doctor a couple weeks ago.

Got brand new glasses. Do they look exactly the same as my other glasses? Yeah, pretty much. There was a lot of debate on whether or not you'd go clear because I think you could do it. I think you have light enough hair. You look smart, and by that I mean weak. So you've, but you have like, you have the perfect look for clear glasses. But those are sick though, why, you're not happy?

No, I just wanted to... They don't look any different to me. I feel weird because everything I do and get, like I've kind of like found a lot of stuff that I like, and so then I just get another thing like that. Dude, I'm set. And I feel like this sucks that I'm not evolving and changing.

Oh, I don't like that. I don't like where you're coming from there because I feel like we're both, you eat the same thing for lunch every day. I know, and I'm criticizing myself for it. No, don't, accept it, this is good. Like, shouldn't I have red glasses now? Shouldn't I?

Well, I mean, I guess, but it's about finding the model. I have 13 of these shirts, and like five or six pairs of these shorts. Every underwear is the same. Yeah, no. Make it easy. Yes, I find a shirt I like, and I'm like, you know what? I gotta buy seven of them.

Yeah. I find a- All of history's great to think about it. My sleeping shorts. You know? I, it's a, you you gotta find one that you like. So you might have to do some trial and error, you're buying one, ah, this sucks, what,

and then you find one and you're like, all right, I gotta go buy eight more right now. Yeah, that's my move. And that is my whole life. I have 22 pairs of aviators. I refuse to deviate, I understand. Okay. Well, women are the same way.

If we find something and we like it, we just get it in another color. They do have the other color option a lot more available. And I did, at my eye doctor, I saw this. They had a thing that says, now available, we now offer Ray-Ban Meta AI glasses. Visit us today to learn more. So I don't even know what that means.

Did you think about it? I jotted it down and I'm going to look into it. He'll have smart glasses one day. What does that mean? I don't really know. I mean, I've watched like, you know, the demos of it, but this is kind of like what we were talking about last week with the remote control. I think about this all the time.

I just don't really think it's happening. Cause like the VR technology, I'm not saying it's not prevalent, but it's not in day to day life. We were thought to believe that by now, just everybody's walking around in altered realities. I just don't see that ever happening. And the glasses are kind of like a dip of the toe into it,

but I'll tell you what, it's on all of us to make fun of people with those glasses to keep this from happening. Like just, that's again, that's hopefully one of the, if there's anything good about Trump being president, it's that if you do some dumb shit like wear robot glasses, everybody can make fun of you, and culture and society is not like, that's bad. You should be made fun of for that, you're a human.

At the CES show, they look pretty awesome. They can do a lot. And if you're already a glasses wearer, having your- Expand, what are they? Well, like your GPS can be on your glasses, or if you're, big one, if you're traveling in a different country, like subtitles for what people are saying.

That's the one we're talking about. Or looking at a menu, you got nutrition facts. I don't know, I think it will blossom into something at some point. Can you turn, can you make them beer goggles? Somebody will make that app, yeah. Just turn it to 1.30 a.m. Yeah, turn a three into a seven or whatever, you know.

Make every woman Indian for Dan. There you go, not everyone. Yeah, because when the iPhone and iTouch first came out, they were still trying to figure out the technology, so the early apps were like, pick the right urinal. Like they haven't, they weren't like. Right, yeah, it's like hot dog, not hot dog. Right, they weren't polished yet, so yeah.

One of the first apps for smart goggles will be beer goggles, I'm sure. And Blake? First let me say that Dan Henry is a treasure, because I was up watching storms with him last night. Oh, okay. And just.

Jack it off? He was jacked off. Sleeves rolled up? There was a rotation above McKinney, he had Jack it off. Okay. And just for him to be in front of a green screen and talk about storms for 90 minutes, no break. It's incredible.

That's his thing. He trains, that's why he puts in all those hours training. But no stutter, no somebody give me some help. It's just, look at here, rotation here, look at this velocity couplet right here. But see when it's gonna twist to the north, that means it's dying off. The warning will disappear in five minutes.

He just, he's the man. It was great. But Saturday morning I was up before dawn. I had my hard hat, my construction vest, my gloves, getting ready to do some charity work. And I did some charity work, guys. For the Christian Women's Job Corps of Greater Arlington. For the women. We shot a 58.

Oh, okay. He played in a golf tournament. Oh, okay. Yeah, I see. I was like, what was he doing? I played with Chappie and Saroy and Saroy's ringer. How many jobs did you give out that day? Six as of right now. Okay, good. Yeah.

Okay. We raised enough awareness. Awareness per job. Yeah, so shout out to Raymond for helping us out. Is that fun? Yeah, it's, I don't know your beaten level by your dad, but when I see him once a year, it's, I don't know, you're beaten level by your dad, but when I see him once a year, it's amazing. He never meets a stranger.

No, he's doing the show at all times. He's always doing the show. He walked up to this group of ladies on one T-box and asked if they had fried catfish. And just got the conversation going. That's great. Just to be kind. Yeah, I know, that's what I'm saying, just why, why, why? That was always my question, why? Boy, I know, that's what I'm saying, just why, why, why, that was always my question, why.

Boy, I talked to him, I don't know, it must have been Sunday morning or something, and it was like he had seen young Tiger, or young Bryson maybe. My dad's just like, Jesus Christ, man, Blake's power. He's like, I don't get it. He's like, he says he doesn't play because he can't play enough to be good, and it piss He's like, he says he doesn't play because he can't play enough to be good

and it pisses him off, so he just doesn't play. I was like, that sounds about right. He's like, but I don't know, man. He's like, the load, he's coming through. He's like, he put at least six, seven drives over 300. Like, I don't know, cool, Dad, I have this thing to tell you about. He's like, I swear to God, he was just crushing the ball.

And dad, I have a master's. We could not get to another topic. I'm like, all right, I'll re-rack on Monday. On one of the T-boxes, there was a photographer that took a group photo. She goes, you know, three, two, one, snap. And Chappie said, did you go to school in Texas? She said, yeah.

I said, counting's really good. I knew that Texas would touch you right. Dang, man, he just doesn't stop. He's an animal. He just doesn't stop. Glad y'all had fun and raised awareness. Should we get to the wedding of the century? Sure, yeah.

I think It should. Because I think that's what it was. Last century we had Princess Di, I believe. Yep. People give it that. In this century we had Jordan and some guy that we don't know. Kyle. He was very confused by us.

Yeah. He's actually very threatened by you guys. No. You know, he is because I listen. He should be. Well, he should be. He's actually very threatened by you guys. No. You know, he is because I listen. He should be. Well, he should be. He gets off work. I'm currently at stay at home.

And I have you guys on the second that a podcast comes out. And I turn off all the electronics and you guys are immediately, the first thing he hears when he comes in. So he's just, who are these men in my house? Well, and then all of a sudden, who are these men in my house? Well, and then all of a sudden, who are these men at my wedding? Yeah, so, and I think we took a picture with you

before they got a picture of him and you. He couldn't invite his cousins because they saved spots for us. Wait, we're not getting into that. As we walked off. Are you on Lone Star number two here? Number two, I'm switching between blue and red. Okay, well let's say that our wedding of the century talk

is brought to us by Lone Star Beer. Let's. You can go to lonestarbeer.com and get some sweet merch. When you put in the code DUMBZONE21, you can get 21% off said merch. And we've had a couple dudes like, hey, yeah, I bought merch. I didn't use your code, I just bought it.

Love Lone Star. You know, Lone Star knows that we sent you there when you use the code, so we I bought merch. I didn't use your code. I just bought it. Love Lone Star. You know, Lone Star knows that we sent you there when you used the code, so we're all winning. Like, except Lone Star. They're the ones not winning there because- Don't get the discount. Yeah, they don't- You mean you're paying full price.

Yeah, but the point is- They have cool shirts, and they're 21% off. 140 years of brewing in Texas, Jordan, can attest. Oh my gosh, yes. We had Lone Star beer out at your wedding. So yeah, so we got a liquor license and we were allowed to bring any alcohol that we wanted in. So we bought cases of beers, obviously Lone Star.

So everything that's left over, we've got like 20 Cors and 15 Millers, handful of Bud Lights. No Lone Star. No Lone Star. No Lone Star. I managed to snag four and I had to hide them from everyone else. Hot product. Dude, phenomenal.

I love Lone Star. Whether you guys were there or not, I would have had it there. I can feel that. Well yeah, because you didn't. I can attest because you didn't know that we were gonna be there. No, I didn't. It was a very big surprise.

Your mom emailed us asking us if we would consider showing up. And initially I gave the what I do. Like I don't know, often I don't know what I want to do until that day. Quite often, yeah. And so I said, uh, maybe. And so I emailed her back a maybe. Thinking, I'm probably not going to go to this thing.

You know? And then I saw that it was Jordan Alford. I was like, boy, that's a, that's a strong listener. Somebody who has supported us over the years. Your mom even attached some audio to an email where you were calling into the camp pound one year. Oh yeah. Or no.

No, well I've called into the camp pound. It was bracket Dan, I think. I called into bracket Dan. Breaking down how you could win some money. You guys got me through the work week. All the time. So then I talked to the guys and they were like, yeah, I think we might be able to pull this off. Why not? We're

not, I mean, why not? And Blake's like, I mean, she's hot. So that was really the... I didn't get that intro. That was a pleasant surprise for me. Just in case there's a bunch of people thinking... Mainly because it means the mom is gonna be hot. That's obviously why I was there. Well Jordan has emailed me in the past about the mom. Yes. And I think it might have been one of them was for her birthday. Mm-hmm. But it was the fact and I did I read all of this on the air but I your mom was in Sports Illustrated. Yes. Says here her claim to fame is being in Sports Illustrated for having such massive sweater dogs. It's insulting to call them sweater puppies, according to

her daughter. She got me too'd by Jerry Jones at a Cowboys game. Yep. Jerry Jones pointed at my mom's chest and said, that's great. That's fantastic. While he was in the suite. Attached is the cover article and a lovely drawing the reporter decided to tastefully doodle of my mother's ginormous baby feeders that are all on display in her bitch cave. Even though I did not inherit those juggernauts of jugs, those celebrated calcium cannons, those phenomenal fun bags. I was instead inducted into the itty bitty

titty committee hall of fame. She's given me the next best thing, genetic sports depression. Oh yeah, it's 1A1B. I can always buy boobs, but you're either born to be a cowboy fan or live a healthy normal life, so thanks for being a legendary boob owner, or okay, that's for your mom's birthday anyway.

Anyway, so clearly Jordan and her mom have a really cool relationship. Did you guys ever have the teenage daughter, I'm against my mother thing? And then- No, not once. Okay, it doesn't feel like- I mean, she was fully supportive of everything

that I've ever done, all the phases I went through as a kid, and I can only aspire to be half as great of a woman as she is. Hell yeah. So she says where your wedding is. So what would be half of Sports Illustrated? So you're like in like Avid Golfer or something like that. I don't know, a sports podcast?

Yeah, this is kind of half of that to be honest, yeah. Okay. I'll take it. So Saturday evening, it's at the Arboretum, and I'm looking at this thing starting in the morning, because I love my radar. I think this does happen, must happen when you get older, because my mom, that's all she talks about.

But now I'm thinking, okay, I got this thing to go to tonight at about six. Ooh, let me watch the radar go. Oh my gosh, it's six. It's gonna be red over Dallas. Like we got thunderstorm warnings. We got, oh, we got Lone Star number three. Here it is.

Did you know how they do bits on the? Oh yeah. That's the best part. I didn't even know. What is it, on the inside of the? I was a red girl for so long, so. What does it say? I don't know. It's like, here, that's what the audience says.

I don't know what this is. Okay, on the inside of the bottle cap, it says bits. All right, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out later. No, we got more important things. Anyway, so six o'clock or so, we're watching, but anyway, I did go look at the venue you were in, looked like there was some indoor stuff there,

so I'm like, oh, okay, even if it rains big, clearly they're going to have this wedding. And we're heading out there and it was raining as we were heading out there. Oh, some other things you should know, Jordan, girl Jordan. Yes. So a lot of talk behind the scenes on what to wear.

Oh, here we go. This is my favorite topic about weddings all the time. Go. So I had talked to your mom during the week. We ended up exchanging digits. Nice. So now I talked to her and what's the scene? She's like, you're gonna stay, you could have dinner,

you could be there for it. And I'm like, you know what, we're gonna just do the pop-in. Let's do the pop-in, we'll mingle just a little bit, surprise, and then we're gonna pop out. So don't have a dinner for us. She's like, oh no, it's fine. No, we don't want that.

We're just gonna pop in. It's just cause we already paid for it. Oh, I didn't realize that. Well, a lot of people canceled last minute as per weddings, so. Yeah, and I would have too. Does that happen, Lon? I think it does, yeah.

I remember my wife being upset about it. Oh. I would have liked to have. I knew you guys probably wanted to get out of there. I was free, but like, you leave me there by myself with a bunch of strangers in an open bar, like it's probably not like the super best idea. I just thought it would be too weird. I just thought it'd be too weird. You leave me there by myself with a bunch of strangers in an open bar, like it's probably not like the super best idea.

I just thought it'd be too weird. These three guys who are the radio guys or whatever. Yeah, yeah. It was weird enough without. It definitely was. Having left at the time we left felt weird enough. Anyway, so we're talking off the air and Jake's like, look, I'm gonna wear a suit.

And I'm begging him. Suit? If we all wear shorts, dude, then it will look like, hey, we were just guys that were there. We pop in and we pop out. Then we would fit. And he's like, I'm wearing a suit, dude. And I go, why?

And he said, I have an image. I didn't hear that. Ah! It looks sharp. You didn't hear that because that was our first conversation and then I called him back like, dude, come on. It's so weird too because like, Dan and I are on the phone or talking to each other

like almost every waking moment and he almost never tries to convince me of anything. Like anything I say, he's just like, okay, yeah, that's what you think. I was like, dude, I don't know, I'm wearing a suit. I'm not really like shorts guy. So to me the other option is like I wear slacks, dress shoes, I'm not shorts guy at a wedding.

All right, you're wearing them now. I'm not gonna wear, so I was. I mean, or be warm to your wedding. I thought just. Now Blake got the pass cause I knew he was doing the charity thing with Chappie. I was, I didn't even think obviously any of y'all were gonna come once I saw it. He was in charge, I was't even think obviously any of y'all were gonna come.

Once I saw that he was in charge, I was like, that's fine. But yeah, Dan called me back. He's like, I mean, why not? Why, why? Did you know he was coming? No, I didn't know any of you were coming. Yeah, so it was a thing. Now I learned.

I got off the phone with Jake like I lost. I realized, all right, this guy. She's left me. He is, and Jake is the same way. He often will, if I really ask, because I don't ask for anything. And so if I really say, come on, dude, he usually will, all right, dude,

I'm gonna support you, my good friend who did shows without me for. Ha ha! What is that? I haven't used that one. No. Not yet. But yeah. You're right. So now I shifted't used that one. No. Not yet. But yeah.

You're right. So now I shifted my focus. I call Blake. I'm like, dude, you don't want to wear a suit, do you? He's like, no. Hell no. I go, OK. I knew.

And now I got him. I go, if two of us are wearing. He's like, yeah, I wear shorts. That'll be way better. He goes, I'll be your guy. I go, you're my guy. I know this. I love Blake. He's great. He will. He's like, yeah, I'll wear shorts. That'll be way better. He goes, I'll be your guy. I go, you're my guy. I know this. I love Blake.

He's great. He will, he's the best. I knew it. So I'm driving there feeling great. I was wearing my business shorts. Right, but you're- They were my gym shorts. I'm wearing gym shorts today

because I'm going right to the gym. And I figured I could wear my gym shorts and like sell the, I just right to the gym. And I figured I could wear my gym shorts and like, sell the, I just came from the gym. What? Well, so. But, because your mom also said there's like a theme, it's black and red. Yes, blacks and reds.

And so then I thought I could wear my Brandon Aubrey shirt, red and black shorts or something, it'll be funny. Yeah. She wants bits, she loves bits. And sports. Well anyway, so Blake, I'm driving there feeling real confident because my good friend, Blake, he's the guy. I can always count on Blake. So I get there, Dan and Jake get there early. And Blake, we're waiting to get there five or 10 minutes, right? 15 maybe.

It was a while. we were there early. Blake shows up, pulls up, steps out of his car. He's wearing long pants and a nice shirt. And I was wearing khaki shorts and black t-shirt of which I have like eight of. Yeah, yeah. And I didn't know this whole back story. So he's wearing button down black shirt and khaki pants, so not a suit,

but still you looked really good. You looked sharp, dude. Really good. I had a belt on too. Yep. And very impressive. So now here I am. It looks so much worse.

Guy with shorts, you guys look good. You got a hat on. We all walk, I did not wear my hat. He looked like he managed to somehow grace us with his presence. Yeah. You got a hat on. We all walk. I did not wear my hat. He looked like he managed to somehow grace us with his presence. Yeah. At my wedding.

What was right. So now what are you thinking? You know what? I was so taken aback by everything in the moment with the rain and how everything just kind of moved so quickly. OK, so let's leave that. So as we start walking in, finally Blake shows up and whenever he damn well pleased, we start walking in and we see there's a wedding,

but we're at the Arboretum. And that doesn't mean it's your wedding because the Arboretum will have multiple weddings in one evening. Oh yeah, every single venue was booked that night. So we're like, well, oh, but that's her building. Maybe that's not her wedding. And so we're texting with your mom and the guy

she set us up with to text with, Dwayne. Oh yeah. Good dude. Yeah, so then anyway, the wedding is happening because I guess the rain delayed everything. We wanted to get there after the wedding, during cocktail hour, we'll talk for a little bit, and then we'll go. But the wedding is happening,

so now we go walk into the food room, and just kind of have to stand around and wait for a little bit until the wedding ends. Then we see the wedding ends, and you guys are walking for pictures. Mom walks over. You weren't in the audience? You didn't watch me recite my vows?

No. I vowed to always let him play golf. Oh, you did? I did. We were, yeah, we were, it all worked out time-wise very odd with the delay. We probably could have walked up there, but then we didn't want you to see that we-

Oh, you would have upstaged my wedding? Yeah. Okay. Honestly, we were like, okay, if we wanted- I wanted to be there to object. I didn't, yeah, we thought about it. I was like, hold on, I hadn't seen her until now. We wanted to go inside, but I'm like, dude, if she looks up here, she's gonna see us. So we're walking to the building,

and Blake does the deal where he just thinks if he doesn't look over there, they can't see us. He's like a two-year-old. Just keep your head up. Prove me wrong. And I'm like, dude, there's people looking back. He's like, uh-uh. No one saw it.

Straight ahead. So then we go in there, we wait, but we didn't get to hear the vows. So mom walks over and is like, oh, you made it, blah, blah, blah. And she goes, well, let's go, let's like, you're walking away from where you get married and you're going to like some beautiful tree,

flowery area to get pictures. Right. Cause mom had said, there's going to be like 15 minutes of pictures or so, then we'll bring her over and surprise her. Well, she's like, well, let's go surprise her now. Like, ah. So she's walking with bridesmaids.

Family. Family. Husband. And new husband. Yeah. The freshest of husbands. Yes. Like they just said their vows.

Everybody's cheering. There has not been one picture taken of her yet. Well, I mean, you know what I mean. Yeah. Like the official pictures. Of Jordan Zimmerman. So we walk over there, we start walking there, and then she sees us and is all excited and stuff right and we hug and

everything's fun and and didn't seem upset that we were upstaging anything you didn't know now husband I would love to interview this guy well what's he supposed to think he's standing there then she runs over screaming happy she's wearing a wedding dress she's trying to hold it up and not get it dirty and all this. And then she's like, oh, let's get a picture, let's get a picture. So now we're taking the first picture. Of the new bride. Photographers very confused.

Super confused. I tried to explain to them what was going on. And seriously, there's this group of people of grooms and bridesmaids just staring at us like, what is this? And then she's like, I want you to take, do the garter thing. So I did the garter, threw it behind me and the husband caught it.

With teeth. Yeah. We turn and we're walking off. And I said to the boys, I said, on a scale of one to 10, like us walking up mid ceremony being a 10, this is probably a seven or an eight on how big of an asshole I feel level. We just kind of slumped away, and then it's like,

oh, now she's gonna go with her actual family. I felt like a jerk. No, I'll tell you what, Run The Ball Guy over here did his best to save the ceremony, and I love that. We had the song? The song, yes, we played the song. I asked, I definitely hit up Blake like a week and a half beforehand.

The exit for the weekly wrap up. I love I've actually been trying to learn that on the harp. I play the harp passively. I don't know what key it's in though. So if I can get like the sheet music for that, that'd be good. We know a guy. James can do that. All right, let's get that.

Anyway, so what does he think? Is he just. All right, let's get that. Anyway, so. What does he think? Is he just like, okay, you're into it, whatever, it's cool, or is he annoyed? He doesn't care, he's so passive, and it's great. It's great. So, I've learned that, first off, I need to treat my husband the way Dan wishes he could treat women.

It's great. So anytime that he starts bitching, I just, how about you go ahead and fire off them shorts? Okay. Easy, very easy. Men love to be objectified. They really do. They do.

It's easy. They really do. I just want to be- You can get them in a good mood in a second. Just wanna be meat. Yeah. That's it. Whatever you hate as a woman, men are going to love.

I mean, I have. Your name is already Jordan, and I just wanted to know if you'd be interested in just being on the list of interviews for my Jordan Hudson at some point. At some point, actually I was going to, the printer broke, I was going to make contract. Yep.

So I could put my first daughter in the running. Oh, we're going with daughter? I mean, I feel like I'm too old. Because you'd be too old. I'm too old at this point. I've passed my prime. I'm past the age of Leonardo. Belichick's girl is 24.

I mean, she's younger than me. Frankly, the whole threshold is younger than your kids. That's what it has to be. Yeah. Cause that's where the things get really- It's gotta be jarring. Yeah. It is, I guess Belchek's dating grandchild age.

Yep. Yeah. Well, almost. Somewhere between child and grandchild, midway. Cause his son's like 36 or something? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, he's 50 years older than her

Yeah So you can thereabouts clearly be a grandpa. Yeah, you work it out by then anyway So not you you're saying daughter not you I mean Okay Come on. No, no, no, we'll talk. Yeah, but uh, it's a verbal contract at the very least I do want to know what do you think of the whole, so in retch, at first you didn't notice it, but like the fact that I wore shorts, are you?

I'm just very aware of who you are as a man. I've always been aware. You've always been blase. You're the trickle down theory guy, so. You don't shower, she didn't expect much. I didn't expect much. But I did wear the nice shorts. You did. I will respect that. And you know what? I didn't see a single stain on the black shirt. I like that was fresh. The freshest black shirt. I think you had,

I have to, I have to take it where I can get it. Loved it. Jordan was hilarious because she's getting married. This is a huge thing. And as she comes back after the pictures, all she was thinking about is, like, she's yelling at people. Why can't we get that, the stars game on that TV? And then you got a guy from the venue like, OK, I'm trying to... I don't want to hear try.

Hulu, what's your Hulu password? It's for Disney Plus. We have the bundle. Like, she's screaming. Like they're trying to find the Hulu, what's your Hulu password? Yeah. It's for Disney Plus. We have the bundle. Like, she's screaming. Like they're trying to find the Hulu password. She's like, it's the same as at Disney. And then she's walking over. She has, like, a bunch of papers in her hand.

And it's, like, got brackets on it. And... I'm the commissioner. Which is very attractive to me. Anything with brackets. Mm-hmm. Uh... Yeah. And so you attractive to me. Anything with brackets. Mm-hmm. Uh, yeah. And so you have some kind of a hockey playoff pool.

I'm the commissioner for the entire Discord. You're stoked on hockey. Stoked on hockey. You're going to be a hockey mom, you think? You know, I mean, it's hard enough to do it in Dallas. A little something in the cup. At least with stars, right? Houston?

Probably not. Yeah. Are the arrows still there? Ooh. I used to love the arrows. I have to check, honestly. I'm not a Houston fan. I don't subscribe.

I am simply there, just. Well, that is actually a good segue. I have more on the wedding later, but we've kept him waiting. Go for it. Sports, baby. Oh, is Jared ready? Mm-hmm. Go for it. Sports, baby. Oh, is Jared ready? Mm-hmm.

Oh. Yeah, I never know. I didn't know. Why didn't somebody say something? What time is it? Oh my goodness. We had so much momentum. We did. We did have momentum.

What now, though? Jared, can you be brought to us by Ownwell today? I can. I'd love to. Well, Ownwell.com slash the dumb zone Jared is where we have all been saving tons of money. I actually got an email from ownwell. They're saved me $1,969. Whoa. Took me just a few minutes. I paid them a couple, a few hundred bucks. Of course I pay them. I get my money back.

86% of customers get a reduction. And you don't pay unless you're part of that 86%. So there is no reason not to do this. We've had a lot of feedback from various customers of different advertisers. I've never gotten more feedback than Owen will. And we're talking serious cash here, Dan Matt you know Matt Dallas I do says he and the trucker signed up for own well in less than three minutes

Appraisal reduction of $85,000 tax bill discount will be $1,757 bill discount will be $1,757. Good God. Yeah. He said that would be 183 free months of the Dumb Zone podcast. So there you go. Thanks to own well own well.com slash the Dumb Zone. Sign up. Hey, Jared, what's going on? Guys, I think we, uh, we're an own well family now because of you guys. So look at that. Thank you very much. Trusted at the very highest levels of sports entertainment. Just keep that in the air. Oh man. Are we doing theme or no? Oh,

we don't have to. I just, I felt like it was either gonna play or no. Yeah, I think you're just gonna talk to Jared right now for a little bit. All right, so, okay. That's the opposite of that. Yeah. Sorry. We're still getting to know how to do this thing.

So Warped Tour. You ever give a good warp tour, Jared. I don't view you as much of a warp tour guy. No, I never went. I really wasn't much of a concert guy until a few years ago. So, uh, I missed out on a lot of that stuff. So you met Eric Nadel suck up to Eric, the man of concert music too. No, our, our concert tastes probably a little bit different. But yeah, I just was always like, if I'm going to spend money, I want to spend it on sports related things, which is very narrow minded and

and whatnot. But like I just I had the I'm sure some people feel this way about sports or it's like, why do I need to pay money when I can watch it on TV? Well, with music, I was like, why don't, why do I need to pay like a ridiculous amount of money, sit through an opener, deal with traffic and crowds and I can just literally press like my mouse and play it on my computer. But now that I've gone to concerts, I realize what I missed out on my wife last year for my birthday surprised me. I knew we were, we had an off day and I knew, I thought we were maybe traveling somewhere, but I didn't know. I woke up, she had bags packed. We

flew to Vegas, saw Pearl Jam, which was like a bucket list thing for me. And it was like a less than 24 hour trip. That was pretty cool. So that's, I do appreciate the concert now in ways that I did it before. There's something to, nobody really wants to talk about it, we will, but sometimes concerts, most of the people there, like when will this end? But nobody wants to say it. You're at least thinking about it a little bit. So yesterday's loss, that's a tough one, Jared.

I'm gonna take the positives out of the first six innings of work from Jack Leiter. I don't know, I saw some people doing bocce questioning today. I mean, who knows? But that's a tough one. That is a tough one to blow after that. How did you feel about Leiter yesterday? And just him in general right now.

Yeah, I thought he was great. I was a little surprised by the Astros approach. feel about Leiter yesterday and just him in general right now? Yeah I thought he was great. I was a little surprised by the Astros approach. I don't know why they were so aggressive early. Like if I'm facing Jack Leiter and not that it's going to work because he is throwing more strikes this year and he's been good, but I mean Leiter had the most first pitch outs of any pitcher in a start in Major League Baseball so far this season with yesterday and that allowed him to go deep. I had no issue with them bringing him back out, you know, a few reasons.

One, he'd only thrown like 76, 77 pitches. He'd allowed one hit and the one hit he allowed was on a pitch that wasn't even a strike. It was just a pretty impressive job of hitting by Yiner Diaz, the solo home run in the seventh. But I mean, the reason I bring him out is, yeah, he looked really good. Pitch count wasn't, like maybe if it was 87, that's a different story. If it was 83, maybe it's a different story.

I don't know. They also have all sorts of data that shows the quality of each pitch that allows them to get a sense of when guys are slowing down or not. So, you know, obviously the data didn't suggest anything in that regard. Let's look at what actually happened. He gave up two blue pits, you know, very easily could have been out.

So, I mean, as a pitcher, you can't control where the ball is hit. You can just try and control whether or not there's contact and the quality of the contact. And he got weak contact. But the other thing is not that they knew what was going to happen to Chris Martin, but I don't know that they knew exactly what the deal was with Luke Jackson. And they had used Robert Garcia. They had used Chris Martin the day before.

I think they, they probably understood where their bullpen was at. It was like, Hey, the guy's pitching great. He's only allowed one hit. That's the bottom of the order, right? You know, it wasn't like he was going back through the heart of the order again. It was the bottom of the order, right? You know, it wasn't like he was going back through the heart of the order again. It was the bottom of the order. Let's let him have a go. And so I, you know, sometimes those decisions work.

Sometimes they don't. Obviously the end result of the game, you know, wasn't favorable and yeah, like I'm flipping pissed about it still, but I have no issue with the decision to bring Jack Leiter back out for anything. So I think it was a game in Boston where cameras caught Jack Leiter talking to Iovaldi and DeGrom and just three buds on the railing talking, pitching, whatever. And Dave Raymond and Bassett were just talking about the importance of Jack

Leiter getting to be around those two dudes on a daily basis. So part of Leiter's uptick here, could you say some of it is related to who he's surrounded by right now Yeah, I think it's a combination. Yeah, that absolutely I definitely think that he has he is better because of his time with those two and I'm glad you brought up to Graham as well because of all he gets a ton of credit for the The asset he is in the clubhouse. And it's pretty like above and beyond impressive.

But Jacob deGrom came here with this like shaky reputation because he didn't pander to the New York media. He's beloved in that clubhouse and he is a great teammate. And it's actually been a total pleasure to be around him from my perspective. And I know his teammates adore him. So the, the two of those guys, yes. I also think Jack is open-minded to that stuff, right? Like I think, I think in order for you as a player to benefit from that, you got to

be willing to listen. And Jack is maybe in some ways it could hurt him at times, but he's very analytical and very thoughtful. Um, I think some guys are here's ball throw ball. And I think that works for some of those guys. And I think other guys maybe can overthink. I think Jack probably is so good at like self assessing that he even can recognize after the fact, you know what I was overthinking there.

Like talking, pitching with Jack is really impressive that one of the most enjoyable parts of my job is getting to talk baseball with these guys who, who play baseball at this like superior level, but also in some ways understand baseball in a way that's unique and not, not every player does right. Some players are just so gifted athletically. But Jack's a guy as you can imagine growing up in the lighter household. He understands baseball and understands pitching and I think that has played a huge role. I think mentally what he went through last year at the major league level like didn't face him in the slightest. I think he is so prepared for the fact that baseball is hard and he is going

to have crappy starts and it's not going to be perfect from the word go. And I think he is really good at understanding, hey, this is what happened last start. This is why it was good. This is why it wasn't good. And I'm going to work on it. And I think being open-minded to all of that stuff is a huge part of any player's growth. But I think that's specific to Jack for sure. I'm not trying to make this whole thing about him. He did just go yesterday, but it's interesting that because he's not, he's not thought of as a guy with like plus a stuff or specifically velocity, right? So it's interesting because he's the former athlete's son, but he's almost having to get by on more of the mental side of it,

which is usually not the case for the former athlete's son. Does that make sense? He's not, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, sorry if I just. Like it's just interesting to be that Jack Leiter is a guy who's, you know, he's the former athlete's son, but he's the guy who has to be like a crafty arm.

He doesn't have really anything overpowering. I mean, I was reading guys with the athletic before this year saying they didn't know if he had a major league future because he didn't have an outpitch, you know, like he for sure was no longer an ace. So yeah, I just never thought of him as like the crafty pitcher.

Uh, and a, so yeah, I just never thought of him as like the crafty pitcher. Well, and I mean, listen, he, I think he's the hardest thrower on the team. Uh, just because, you know, the Grom is, you know, maybe not pumping it a hundred as much as he could, but I don't, I don't know that I, I don't know that I would say like, I think, I think he's crafty. I think he's, he, he wins on the mound between the ears, but it's not like he doesn't have good stuff. I mean, he's got a really good fastball that plays well in the zone,

or plays well up in the zone, and he's got a slider that I think will only continue to get better. Like, I think he's going through a lot of the progression that young pitchers go through. And remember, this is his first full year in the big leagues. Last year he got a taste of the big leagues, but it wasn't until the end of the year when he got like any kind of consistent run. It was, Hey, we're calling you up. You make the start. We're sending you down. Oh, Hey, we're calling you up to pitch the first game of a double header. And then we're sending

you down. Oh, we're calling you up in this, you know, last second because this guy got hurt. So, you know, this is his first real opportunity to have runway to pitch, to assess, to work, to do it again, to pitch, to work, you know. Uh, so I, I do think that intellectually he is allowing himself to make up for the fact that he's dealing with some of the inconsistencies from like a physical standpoint, the consistency of his slider and understanding like the Boston start. He talked about how he was trying to be too fine with two strikes. And when you're in a two strike advantage count, you've got the guy on his heels.

You don't need to be perfect in those spots. And I think he's learning a lot of this stuff. I think he's trying to figure out, you know, on a start, all right, when my slider's not good enough, what do I do? Whereas in AAA, you know, even in AAA, your slider might not be good enough, but guys are going to swing and miss it, but not at the big league level. So I do think that as he gets more experience, you're going to see more like good stuff. But I think that, you know, for right now, what he's got between the years is helping him tremendously.

And, you know, the no major future thing is odd. I understand why people maybe were like, hey, I think he's more of a reliever. But I just don't see that the way he's improved his change up, adding the running fastball, which plays really nicely with his four-seam fastball. I think he has demonstrated, if nothing else, he's a starting pitcher. Now, he might not be an ace, but maybe he's a number two. Maybe he's a really good number three. I don't know, but he's definitely a starting pitcher as long as he can stay healthy.

He does have good stuff that can play well. It's just trying to develop a little more consistency with it. Before we get to actually let's get to trivia and then we could talk about some stuff and then you can reveal the answer. But how about that? Let's do some trivia with Jared Sandler every week. Sandler every week. He will give out a patented question. And I'm I'm I'm now looking for trivia to send you because I know you love trivia.

I sent you something last week. I hope you enjoyed. Yeah, I did. I did love that. It took me a day to actually watch it, but that was awesome. That was really cool. I think you're not talking about the John Boy. No, John Boy was a,

they had a good breakdown on DeGrom. Oh, the trivia question you sent me. Yeah, we're gonna use that. I forget, so I tried theme the trivia questions that we use on the show for like the opponent or whatever. We're gonna use that later in the year. I already have that on my calendar. So you schedule that trivia like Blake does sit ins.

He's got a sit in schedule for September already. He's you got trivia scheduled for then. So if I steer like a good trivia question that relates to like the Padres and we play the Padres on July 4th, like I will send an email now that you can schedule emails, I'll schedule an email to be sent a week prior with that trivia question as a reminder. Yeah, anyway. It's so, so, so proud, yeah. No, it's awesome.

Anyway. This is the guy's hunting story. Yeah, there's a good John Boy, I don't know if you saw it, but John Boy breaking down, DeGrom had a ball called on him. Two, really. He was really upset.

And apparently that very pitch, every time he has thrown it in his history, like John Boy went and found, every single time he has ever thrown that pitch has always been a strike. That was very well done. So he knew that that's the perfect spot. That's why we need some robots.

All right, go ahead, Jared. We're giving away a pair of Rangers tickets to someone in the chat. Yes. The live chat to someone in the chat. Yes. The live chat right now on the YouTube. So the Rangers play the Yankees tomorrow. So it's Brett Boone and Aaron Boone in the same ballpark in uniform on opposing sides. And the Boones are one of six three generation major league families. So three generations of players, right?

There are a few other families, three generations of a mix of players and coaches and front office, whatever. I'm just looking for, there are six three generational families in major league baseball that have produced major league players. The Boons are one, who are the other five dang Jesus that's

tough yeah I can only should we say like if you get three of them then you I mean I don't know like how hard do we want to make this I didn't ask you guys for your choices yeah two of them Jordan is in the beehive what do you say I think I think two out of five would be pretty good three would be impressive you guys are fine I honestly I don't want to guess but I'm not I can come up with a bunch of twos like did Bobby you okay I got one no no a bunch of just father son oh yeah you know like I but if like Bobby wits dad played, I don't know. Yeah. Did dusty Greer play or

did either of the dummies have sons who also played? Dummy Hoyt or. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's a good guess. Jordan, congrats on getting married. Thanks, brother. Um, all right, so we'll get married. Thanks, brother.

All right, so we'll get to that in a second. I wanted to ask you about what's it like to go viral, bro? What, oh, the Houston Stops? Is that what that go viral? Oh, man, that's what I do. I didn't know I could go like that. You're on there ripping Astros fans a new one. Yeah, they saw. And it's really funny to watch.

Honestly, let's just brass tacks here. I lost, I'm betting on all these games now. Little small bets, underdog fantasy, right? It's promo code dumb zone, I love it. You make small bets, it's good for baseball. It'll keep you interested, right? Like, hey, I wanna watch through the eighth inning. I need to see what Jake Berger does here. First of all, we bet the under on, or excuse me, the over on Jack Leiter first inning pitches,

cause man, he struggles. The Astros are going to make him work for it. He threw like four pitches in the first inning. Jared screws me out of the gate. So everything's after already, right? Well, first of all, I just want to make something very clear. I am not a part of any sort of insider trading. No, he's not. I did not. You asked me an indirect question that had nothing to do with gambling. I swear-

I just said that pitch counting has been a challenge for- People could actually look at the text because I ask them questions in a way I'm like, all right, so what do we know about this guy? Like who do you think can work? Because you have to ask about the Astros or the opposing team too you have to place one on both sides yeah you should stop now I'm not aware that I was I'm aware that I was contributing to gambling I'm not guys seriously I ask him questions about the teams they're playing I've never said anyways so my alright fine I'll just completely

baseball my point is is that yesterday when that thing went south, after he had danced his dance on Saturday night when they had a 2-1 lead in the series, I was more crushed about that for him than anything I had going on. Because I know he's a guy who, once like he's on the team, he goes viral Saturday night for calling out

the Diken North fans, the Astros talking trash. And so the only reason I was still watching that game, it had nothing to do with wagering, it had to do with I know this means a lot to Jared. And that was a tough one, pal. I appreciate that. I know you were thinking about Saturday night

whenever you saw the three run bombs yesterday. Oh, 100%. I even had a follow up tweet I was gonna definitely put out there. Like, Demaris almost went through this. You go up and down. Like, when James Harden came back, everybody's like, what happened to this guy?

What happened to this guy? And then James Harden's good to get, yeah. You're now in that mix. But they're saving that, because if they rally and win this division, you guaranteed that they will not win the division. That's right. Yeah.

He didn't gamble on it or anything. You can hold me to that. I did it. No, I did not. You can hold me to that. You can hold me to that. But I'm going to, this is a winning fight for me because the coolest part about this is I just don't care.

Like if Astros fans are like being mean to me and my mentions and some of the stuff that they say, like I don't really look and the times I do look, it's just kind of funny. So like I, I genuinely, this is not a, this is not something I do for like clicks or I genuinely can't stand the Astros and I can't stand their fans. But like in a sports arena, right? Like I have friends who are Astros fans. I like them just fine.

But like when they're in Astros fan mode, they act like they invented baseball and I don't like that. Also, also this is like sports are fun and rivalries are fun. And what what makes rivalries fun is like the s talking right? The like the going back and forth. And so you're going to call this dyke in North Brian McTaggart, just so you can get a few clicks. So you can make a little extra money, you know, on top of whatever you make for MLB.com and you're going to act like you're not a homer. I see your tweets,

brother. You're a homer. I'm a broadcaster for a team. I don't have to be objective. Like I can have a little bit, you know, one way. But yeah, I, I, you know, it's just like, I get it. I understand, but like I'm having fun. That's all, that's, that's all this is. It rivalries to me, like organic rivalries. And this is an organic rivalry. They are awesome. Blue Jays Rangers in 2016 and 2017 after the 2015 postseason. That was like, that was like, you have like life when you played that, right? That was like, Oh my gosh, this is awesome. I love it. I love that out to that gets booed vociferously whenever he, you know, is playing it in Arlington. I love that Alex Bregman got booed, like not be anti them. It's just, that's, that's, that's a part of what makes this fun.

Rivalries are great, and yeah, I'm having fun with this. But I genuinely cannot stand the Astros. I absolutely, every single day, I check to see if they're playing and what the score is. And I get excited when they are losing. And I get really excited when they're getting their ass kicked. And I'm gonna be really excited when they suck again, because this is all cyclical. And then their fans who act like baseball started in 2017,

have a nice reminder that it doesn't always work this way. And that this ridiculous dynasty that they're in the middle of is going to come to an end. And I really do believe that, like, let me tell you something, a part of what's frustrating about splitting the four game series, the Astros are not that good. Like the Rangers Rangers the Rangers lost two games to a team that is just bleh and Maybe that says something about the Rangers will find out But they should have taken three or four from the Astros. They're just not that good It is not the Astros that we have seen the last several years How are you gonna attack them in the years whenever they're cheering for the Yankees? Oh, all right. I like that. Yeah

Cuz he whatever who's change. What are you gonna do when Robert? when Robert Ford retires and they call you I That's funny I've been asked that I have no desire to Robert Ford is a radio play-by-play guy you gonna turn that down Yeah, no. Yeah, he'll turn it down. Yeah, sure he will. No, first of all, I am in a great spot. I love where I'm at. I have zero desire to live in Houston.

I'm dead serious. I talked to Emily about this. We've discussed like, all right, hey, if this team called, would there be, this is before this year, right? And I have zero desire to leave. Do you wanna list all the places you would not work? Do you wanna give us that?

That'd be worse for you than... No, that list is longer. There are only, guys, I'm super fortunate. This is my home, this is my hometown team. I mean, think about it, Dan. How much more would you have to be paid to leave your hometown team? I'm no, I'm serious.

Like if you're Jared, I mean me, I grew up here, if I made 20% more to live in Houston, I don't know that it would be worth it. Everything else would be way more of a pain in the ass. What if we doubled your salary? Maybe, I mean there's a number for everybody, but I don't know that Houston is doubling Ranger money. Dan, you guys, you and Bob faced a decision a few years ago,

right, that became somewhat public? Yeah. I understand that, but like, No, I've never. There were things that were important to you. I've never done anything for more money. I'm an idiot. I'm a moron.

He's super good at that. Like we took less money back in 2013, and yeah, then Dan and Jake didn't exactly clean up either. But we're working on it. Anyway. Let's win some tickets. Do we have any answers? Can we actually start guessing?

Yeah. Yeah, we've got plenty of answers here. You guess first. Oh, absolutely not. Jordan girl. I can't even come up with one. Oh, okay. No.

All I can- This is impressive. It's impressive that he came up with five. All I can do is the Bells. Okay. Right? Gus Bell, Buddy Bell. Gus Bell?

Tito Bell. Yeah, David Bell, Mike Bell. David Bell. No, the Bells are correct. Is there other easy one that I can't, that I'm not thinking of Larry Bones I love how you're you're rhyming the names like thanks man couldn't it couldn't possibly be like Stephen Bonds

It's gonna be Larry and Barry. Yeah, I mean, I know that I don't know if it counts as MLB time I can't remember the league but I think Rugnedo Doors grandfather Rugnedo Door and his dad Rugnedo Door both play. And his uncle Rugnedo Door. Yeah. No I can't think of any man. What do we got? There's okay you want all the answers? Yeah. Okay so you got the Bells and you got the Boons. So one that might be a little more familiar. So Jason Worth is the grandson of Ducky Schofield. So the Schofield Worths, that's a that counts. Dick Schofield, Jason Worth and then Ducky. There's the Kessinger's, Don, Keith and Gray, the Hairstons,

Sammy, Jerry, Johnny, Jerry Jr. and Scott, and then the Coleman's, Joe, Joe Jr. and Casey Coleman. The Hairstons would have been- I would never have gotten any of those. The Hairstons I could have seen Dan getting. Uh, no. But the others, there's no chance. Did someone get it?

Mm-hmm. Pretty quick, too. Wow. Orton's was on the nose, but man. There is the internet, of course. Tyler was pretty fast. Okay. Well, congrats to Tyler,

and congrats to you, Jared, for going viral. Send us a picture when you go to your mailbox and you get that viral check. I wanna see what it is. Yeah, I'm sure. I wish I had a paper like that. Probably similar to the trending check that we got once upon a time.

But where are we going? Are we on the road now? What are we doing now? He couldn't go to New York because he has business to tend to. That's why he looks so, that's why this has been such a tense episode. Oh, forlorn?

Is he's all backed up. Yeah, I, oh. What are we doing? You're on. Hi, Emily. Who's that, I wanna see her. She may not wanna be seen. That's your wife?

Yeah, I don't know. Tell her to come back. Yeah, tell her to come back. Come back, come back, come back. Just have her wave. Come back, Jake. Keep spinning. Hi, Emily., come back, come back. Just have her wait. Come back, Jake. Keep spinning. Hi Emily.

Good to see you, friend. Now this is super awkward now, huh, bud? He's kinda like. Yeah, he had headphones in. No, I can say, I don't care. Okay. Yeah, I don't. Do you want me to share why I'm not in New York

and not gonna be in New York? It's fully up to you. We're along for your journey. So, no, I mean, listen, we've been very open about my fertility stuff. So I've got to go in a cup sometime in the next few days. Our egg donor is in town and we're working on creating embryos with her egg donor. She'll have an egg retrieval. We'll find out today,

whether that's going to be Wednesday, Thursday or Friday. And, um, whenever that is in line with her ag retrieval, I've got to go into a room and I know Jake's detailed this experience before on his end, but I've got to go donate some sperm. But Jared's just watching 643 double play. Yeah. Hey, I don't know, baby.

Elvis and Beltray having like that funny video. Pop up. watching Bel-Trey, Elvis and Bel-Trey having that funny video. Pop up. I'm watching just highlights of the Astros like in some twisted world. His BDSM is just watching Astros World Series highlights. Just fantasize about when Corey Seeger comes back. Yeah, no, maybe two weeks of Jock Peterson

we got in the books here. Don't think of Corey too quick. Yeah, no, maybe two weeks of jock Peterson. We got in the books here. Don't think of Corey too quick. Yeah. Yo, yeah. Yeah. So, hey, can I can I tell you, Jake's probably talked about this. So there's a lot of fascinating parts of this process.

And I've done it a few different clinics. So there's different setups. Emily's laughing. She hears this. So some have like a Roku and they've just got the apps for the various porn vendors, uh, some go magazine. Uh, but like, I, I remember the first time I went in and I don't know why you're filming me, this is going to be on video. I can get you a copy of this.

Uh, she's filming. I went in. Yeah. And I remember I went in and I was like, I don't want to go too quickly. Are they going to judge me if it's like way too quickly? Yeah. Yeah. But then like, are they also going to judge me if I take too long?

But what's he doing? They make you. Yeah. So it's a very and you got to clean that area. And the there's a you have to clean like whoever was in there last. You clean that. Well, they clean that. But you've got to clean your you got to clean like whoever was in there last. You clean that. They clean that. But you've got to clean your you got to clean

your junk in your hands and everything. You don't want to be contaminated here. And then also, I don't know, Jake Sandler. Yeah. And you've got to abstain. You've got to you got to. Yeah. You know, you can't have a release. Yeah. They like looking at the squinting. Is there something in there? Okay.

Well, you joke about that, but like, it's, let me tell you something. When you shoot a layup, when you go to lifetime and no one's around you, that's easy. What if you were to try and make a layup with LeBron bearing down on you in front of 20,000 people, not as easy. Line the green and see if you can stripe that thing, Blake. Yeah, it's when you gotta go in this cup, which let me tell you, they do not make these cups the right size.

Yeah, what are we doing? What are we supposed to? I've been there, I've done it. This is enough, what is this? The one taco salsa cup. This is half a cup. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's crazy.

Like, give me some margin for error here and like Directions and I need to be protected. Yeah, cuz like There's so much. I mean frankly, there's like an anatomical like gravity thing having here. I like Somehow you have to get that thing down. Yeah It's just no natural way. You don't want to feel like you're at the fair, like just shooting hoop. I don't know, it's messy.

It can be. So Godspeed. Well, good luck. You'll be doing that in the next couple days, huh? Yeah. You're just not sure when. And then I will rejoin the team after that. But Ted Emmerich's gonna be,

Ted Emmerich is in Saundersville, New York right now. He told me he was doing a little pre and post. the team after that. But Ted Emmerich is going to be in Saundersburg, New York right now. He told me he was doing a little pre and post. Did not know that. That's why Jared had to go viral before he left. Like, listen, boy, what if he humblebillies him? Humble Billy Hayes. Ted is such a better. There's no like.

You'll be calling Houston. Yeah, you'll be. I'm sorry sir. I just said that because I work for the Rangers. I mean, Jared Sandler trash can plus down there. I love Houston. I mean, Jordan lives there.

It'll be great. No, no, no, no, no, no. I can't stand Houston. I would never live there. Don't, don't. Houston is the Yankees of the South. Don't. Okay.

No matter what. Well, someday you might show this video to little little Jake little little lighter well based on your rhyme with Jared apparently okay I mean you got Barry and Larry so maybe it's Herod or something I don't know okay god forbid you pick a name that doesn't rhyme all right man well this has been a lot of fun. Yeah. Good times, man. Enjoy a couple days. Hit them straight. There's Jared Sandler.

That's good. CFLs. Of the Texas Rangers. TRFL. Texas Rangers for Life? I don't know. Anyway, let's now move on and do a little bit of sports, and then we'll take a break. Just a little at least. Brought to you by Qualis Roofing. You see those storms last night? They put the Q in DZGSEQ.

Okay, yeah. They are the supporter of the, they're the sponsor. Presenting. Presenting sponsor of the Dumb Zone Generic Summer Event, which will be Saturday, June 7th. But yes, those storms last night, if indeed you got hit hard, if indeed you, hey, you might wanna just call them just in case.

Have them come out, you haven't had your roof inspected for a while. Free. Yeah, free roof inspection. They'll throw a dumb zone t-shirt your way just for doing that. And if you end up getting a roof, they'll pay for a sit in on your behalf. You don't even have to get married. And you don't like us.

Get yourself a Traeger grill, which is probably what you should do anyway. Quas GC dotcom, I think. I'm not looking at the copy. Yes, QualisGC.com. That's all off the dome, bruh. Yep. 817-500-9008. That I am reading, I'm looking at the thing.

I don't have that just memorized. I don't have any numbers memorized. That's okay. Like I have zero phone numbers memorized anymore. You don't remember what Domino's used to be for forever? Do you? Oh yeah. Okay, no.

You have to be smart, you're pretty. That's true. Yeah. Anyway, Qualis Roofing brings us sports today. And I think our top story, Jordan, what would you say our top sports story should be on this Monday morning? Stars win game six.

The Dallas Stars have moved on. Heck yeah. Which, you know, I was thinking about it driving in, Stars win game six the Dallas Stars have moved on heck. Yeah, which You know, I was thinking about it driving in listening to the pregame show and stuff That was kind of weirdly a must-win, wasn't it? Yeah, it felt like it like they had lost so many games in Winnipeg and just the You know, the difference seemed to be very big. So yeah, you were saying, just the home away splits. I don't know, it was a small sample size, but at some point it's too stark to ignore. So yeah, it started to feel that way, for sure.

Did this dominate the whole wedding party? This was all you seemed to care about moments after uttering your vows. It wasn't so, so okay. So because of the rain delay, which I, by the way, absolutely loved because I love always been a huge fan of the rain. I would have gotten married in the rain, but people wouldn't have watched anyway, because of the rain delay, we were late for the game and I had brought a projector and it was left somewhere somehow. And that was the only concern is I wanted to make sure that we got CPuckDrop.

Well, we didn't see PuckDrop. And so people were keeping up for me on the phone. And it started, it's obviously started stressing me out. Run the ball guy over here. We doing our best with the, with the MC that we had. And he whispered over to my mom, should I help, would it be rude if I helped? She said, go help.

We did our absolute best. But by the time puck dropped for period three, we managed to get it. And that's, I mean, you know what? It's like the last two minutes of basketball. That's all that really matters. Third period, that's all that really matters. Third period, that's all that really matters.

And in the second period, you had checked off your, I hope we don't feel bad about beating this guy whose dad just died goal. Got that one out of the way in the second period. Was not aware of that until after. It was super, the pregame was a lie. You started reading about it during the day. They were focusing on him a lot in the warmups.

You know my bit on this. Had they won, this would be pointed to as this was the moment, this was why they won. They won it for him. But since he scored, they can still do the like, well, I mean it was his dad he did his part so the narrative works there. We didn't have an opportunity to kill everyone's dad. But we would credit this event had they won. I did think of you. So now do we blame the guy? Because that actually brought them all down too much.

So can we blame this guy, his death, on their loss? Because I think that morning he was probable to play. But I thought if he didn't play, I wonder what Dan would think about that. I mean, would you? I would probably play. Yeah, for sure. Okay. I mean, everybody would play.

There's no one that wouldn't play that was bullish to even say it was probable. That's the kids. What if it's your, would you do your wife? Personally, yeah. Would you Frank Retzke it? I think a lot of guys wouldn't. But they grew up with my dad

and he was instrumental to my development. And what would my dad want me to do? Would he want me to sit out a game and be all Sad like a pussy Yeah, or you want me to all out for some pussy. Yeah now What would your wife want? That's that's interesting. What if your wife died? The day before so I can let me tell you at least this, whatever you choose, it's wrong. Because society is going to be, I mean if you're an athlete of any note,

even this guy, Shoffley, if he didn't play because of something like his wife dying, you would hear about it. I wonder if they would cancel the whole game. Or postpone the whole game. If somebody's wife died in an accident the day before. That's a good question. Hmm.

So, Dak misses the wild card game because his wife died. Who was the golfer who was willing to pull out the second that he heard that his wife was going into labor, who was that? All of them. All of them? Mickelson way back in the day, somebody recently maybe.

There's been a couple recently, she's right, but Michelson did like a graduation too that you were roasting him for. Yeah, that was a little too much. Yeah. But yeah, so what happens if that happened to Dak? That's crazy, man. I don't know.

Yeah, anyway. Also, sorry, I just was just thinking about the Cowboys in the playoffs. I got kind of fired up for a second there. It's fun to think about things that will never happen. Yeah, it's like, yeah, you'll watch a Mother-in-law video or something. Sure, it's not really going to happen.

But I'll watch the video. Anyway, so yeah. I got home in time for time for really it was like midway through the second And you catch up in the third oddger was incredible that one save the diving across the back across is The damnedest thing I've ever seen I Don't know man. I'm fired up. I feel bad for ace burpee don't but I Wish we could Ace Burpee. I don't. But I wish we could get our boy, I wish we could get Tyler on again.

It's been a while. I'm so happy for that dude. I kinda think we could, but. Yeah, I'll see what I can do. Probably not till after the playoffs. But just the fact, you know, we talked about it last week of the group they have. I saw Toronto got eliminated, and there was it last week of the group they have. I saw Toronto got eliminated,

and there was a lot of talk of what they have and haven't been able to do with their core four. And the Stars just kind of stuck with Jamie and Tyler. Now, they also had massive contracts that they probably couldn't move and no trade clauses, but sometimes things still happen. And I mean, those guys have been here for a long, long time and have been in different iterations of,

I mean, I saw a video of them when they were, when Tyler first got here the other day. It just- Make you sad, like little kid. It just made me feel old. Yeah, yeah. I remember when he came in studio, like right the week after he got here,

and he's like 19, he's a baby. And now it's just weird. It's weird to be on the same team that long. I mean, he's not Dirk because he started elsewhere and he's not on Dirk's level, but Jamie and Tyler, especially if they're able to win, they might be like in the top 10 or 15 athletes in the history of this city. Like they'd be in the top five stars, right? I mean, you would have Madonna for sure.

And then you would have probably Darien Hatcher and excuse me, Zubov. But I'm trying to think if you put a goalie in there too, you're gonna get four out of that. I think Jamie and Tyler have gotta be next. They've been here forever. Yeah, that would be a great story. They've been to a cup. They've been here forever. Yeah, that would be a great story. They've been

to a cup, they've been to a couple conference finals. If they eventually win one, I mean there aren't that many champions in this city that were with the city almost their whole career. Okay, so you're not counting like Belfort or something? That would be hard I feel like, or like Dion almost would be hard. If you were talking about like other sports, like you need to be the whole time of your prime with that team. No, whole's definitely not. Neuendijk, no.

Especially how they've gotten pretty close. That's what I'm saying, yeah. Over the years, these guys. I think about that toast shot from, he had set up Jeff from the Stars, had set that camera up at the top of the dressing room, and that one shot from, he had set up Jeff from the Stars, had set that camera up at the top of the dressing room. And that one shot from the bubble that they have of Jamie still sitting there,

that's one of the most powerful sports images I've ever seen. Well, you'll be seeing a lot again if they get to the finals. Oh yeah. And I remember, we were talking to Tyler every week through that, they're playing golf simulator, and it's all, I don't know,

I just feel like you go through that together, and it's tough to think of two guys that in my sports career I'd be happier for after the long grind. We've got a sensible time zone, right? Is that right? I think so. The latest is eight, I think. What's the schedule? Seven tonight, seven Friday, and I think two o'clock. Tonight, right away?

No, excuse me, not tonight. Wednesday night, Friday night, and then Sunday is two o'clock. So very manageable. Barely managed to get over your hangover by two. What are we on, three? Three lone stars thus far? I've got one left. Okay. We're halfway through.

I've gone power through fast. Okay, yeah. We're pacing ourselves now. It's my wedding week. I get to do whatever I want. It really is. Jake, Blake understands. It's almost your wedding month maybe.

She said Jake and then he's like, well he understands two of them. I'll make this about Blake instead. It's almost your wedding month, maybe. She said Jake and then he's like, well, he understands too well. That's a correct one. I'll make this about Blake instead. It's his birthday week. So quick hit on the NBA. Dude, first of all, I'm so happy for the Knicks and Jalen Brunson.

I'm glad you thought that, because it feels weird for me to be happy for the Knicks, but so am I. Right, not really the Knicks as much as Jalen Brunson. I'm glad you thought that, because it feels weird for me to be happy for the Knicks, but so am I. Right, not really the Knicks as much as Jalen Brunson. You know what though, the more you hear about it and think about it, I mean they are the Knicks, it's New York, but they've been bad for so long

that they kind of have an underdog, down trodney fan base. But they also have a beating of an owner who you don't want to root for. They do have a beating of an owner who you don't want to root for. They do have a beating of an owner and yeah. It's sad to know that he'll be happy because he seems to be a bad dude. But they took that that was a big risk to pay Jalen Brunson what they did pay Jalen Brunson. Sure. It's big big risk to go trade for Cat. Big risk to go trade for Mikhail Bridges. They're letting, they're letting it hang. So I don't have any, I don't know,

how can you not like Brunson? But the fact that they knocked out Boston, I mean, I really truly believe that had Luka just been on the Mavs, they'd have a really good shot to win it all right now. Right now. Yeah. Clearly getting by OKC, who knows, maybe they are just a juggernaut, but Denver took them to seven games. You telling me that Luca and the Mavs,

they thought they matched up well against them last year. They got better. Well, both got better, but so. They got the mental thing, and Luca's a killer, and I think Luca would be pissed to even be in the conversation with SGA as far as this guy's going to win MVP this year. And I didn't win it last year.

Like, I feel like that would have fueled it all. Yeah. And the other thing too, about Denver is they just look so worn out because Yocuch has to do everything, but the Mavs had the advantage of having Kyrie. Right. So you just kind of balance it out till you get to the postseason, and then you figure, Yocuch has nothing left,

and how could he? But then, yeah, you mentioned the Boston thing. That's, that is, I wouldn't say that it makes me feel better, because they got a ring, and you don't want anybody to get hurt, but they're so screwed. They are so screwed and it just reminds you like how quickly anybody any fan base can have their hopes just ripped away from them it's just that theirs happened by chance and

ours happened by act but think about it like Tatum's gonna be won't be right next year miss a whole year that team costs like a billion dollars to fund. He might not play at all. So, yeah, I can't watch the NBA right now without thinking, fuck, this was it. Yeah, I know. Just anything NBA, I said this last week, it just makes me sad.

But it is interesting. Maybe I'll put pen to paper later this week. But a long time ago, back when I was doing studies on the worst retired number in the NBA, I also got into arguments with Bob about the fact that everybody would always say, and I got here when the stars were really good with Mike Medano, and I was new to hockey, but I would always hear, toughest championship to win is in the Stanley Cup. And toughest, like it's just said as if it's just well known. And I suppose if you want to talk about a physical grind on you in a short amount of time, then you might have an argument. But when I looked at the four major sports leagues and who could win an NBA, like the NBA was the toughest championship to win because when a team got good, they would tend

to stay good and it's hard to knock that team off, which means it's very tough for the other 29 teams to win. There was not, like the NFL turned out or Major League Baseball even, were kind of the easiest championships to win. Easy in the sense that it's always a different team so that your team might win it this year when you start the year out. And that's what the NBA has now turned into.

This will be the seventh year in a row with a different champion. And I'm going to have to look to see when was the last time seven year if ever because even from the inception of the NBA remember the Celtics were winning it all the time back then the 70s I guess looked like one where well no Boston won a couple in the 70s yeah and you you called this out before I remember anybody else calling it out and it's counterintuitive on its face, the idea that player empowerment and super teams would result in more parity.

But that's basically what's happening. Because that was a criticism of player empowerment. And if players can just go join each other, they're just gonna dominate. They're gonna just win the league every year. This won't be fair. But yeah, the way it's played out is no, players are just going here and there and they're not all doing a Durant and joining the Warriors who are already really good. But yeah, it's been, it'll be seven straight different champions. And I think just on a quick

look, it looks like that's never happened in the NBA before. Yeah. That'd be seven years in a row. Seems like a really good time to just get rid of your superstar to make sure you have a chance in there every year. Like what if you had Michael Jordan but now? Seriously, this makes it worse. Having a superstar is that much more valuable whenever there is availability at the top. And having one that you know, like, he'll be like- He'll stick around.

He's a- it's a decade superstar, not like maybe two years before. Even this superstar who we've wondered, could he be just the guy on a team. Yeah. Anyway... Let's take a potty break. Hey Claire, you remember that one time the Frankles got me that huge car accident settlement? Oh Cornelius Falcon, how could I forget? Yeah, that was super dope.

Was that a fart? Please stop talking. Frakul and Frakul. You're listening to The Dumb Zone. Got a direct message from a listener. Uhhhh, let's see here. His name is Eric. And Eric is a father. And he reached out to me and he said,

Hey Jake, I doubt you'll ever see this. I was wondering if you would dare to share this on the podcast. Excuse you. I was wondering if you would share this on the podcast. Excuse you. Excuse you. Share it on the podcaster X. And he sent me a GoFundMe. So he has a son who is 15. And his name is Brandon and he probably doesn't have

a whole lot of time left to live. He has Duchenne muscular dystrophy. So he details some of the things that they've had to do to deal with this, cash out the 401k, you gotta get a special van, special bathroom, whatever. So anyways, we donated some money and we're gonna put the thing in the show notes if you'd like to do the same.

I was thinking like, yeah, it's a very sad story, but it would suck if he was like a Stars fan. Like if you've got Duchenne muscular dystrophy and then they acquire Matt Duchenne, fortunately he's not like that prominent of a player, but you just have to imagine, just imagine like in 2016 if there were tons of kids in the Metroplex suffering from childhood Prescott,

then it was like terminal. And all of a sudden they're like, what's this, now we got this guy in town. What was that? I said, how big was Lou Gehrig in the time? Well, yeah, it wasn't called that at the time. So anyways, yeah, he seems like a good dude, good family. We want to help him out, so we threw him a little paper.

And frankly, it's your money, people. We're just giving it back. Yeah. All right, so we still have the news. We have Today in History, and we have closing remarks with Jordan Zimmerman. Right? Is that weird?

You know what? Not as weird as I was expecting it to be. Do you know there's a Major League Baseball player named Jordan Zimmerman? I'm bigger than him. I better be. He won 19 games in 2013. That was it? Okay. Feels like a lot. Nationals? Yeah. All right. Okay. Now I've got competition.

Yeah, there's a guy named Jordan Zimmerman. Now you're the girl Jordan Zimmerman. I'm gonna be the last. But you're definitely going, so you never thought I'm not going to change my last name. Nah, I'm pretty traditional. I mean, I'm not working right now, so I'm doing everything at the house. I'm cooking, cleaning, mowing the lawn. Fire the shorts. Fire the shorts off. So man is making good money. Man is making great money. What does he do? So he's in a... He creates power for Urquhart and his plant actually makes so much power that they and his plant actually makes so much power that they power off the entire refinery

for Shell in Houston. And it's just him lifting weights. That's how he powers it himself. He gets on a VersaClimber and just. Where did you get that beehive shirt? I made it. You made it yourself. I made it, a car-tearing member, baby.

That's a great answer, and also, what else was it gonna be? Well, I don't know, is Raymond selling beehive, low-cut beehive shirt? Low-cut, crop-top beehive shirts, get on it, Raymond. E-6 sportswear. Yeah, you were very self-deprecating with the tiny committee that you claimed to be on, but it feels like... Average, I mean, but...

It's just when you're standing next to Mom is what... Yeah. That makes you feel... You stand in shadows. It's a shadow I don't think I'll ever get out of, and that's okay. Okay. Shadow I'd like to get into. There you go. Just a quick hit, the Phillips 66 Big 12 baseball championship returns to

Globe Life Field May 21st to 25th. Catch all the action as teams, top teams battle it out in Arlington for the conference crown. Tickets on sale now at globelifefield.com slash big12. Yeah man, that's a fun one for the kids. That's called a quick hit. Yeah, get into the ballpark, right? Sure. On the cheap. Are you interested in any, in at least talking about the NFL playoff, or excuse me, the NFL schedule release videos, or do you want to save all of that? Uh, I have watched mine. So I had a big idea that we were going to do a lot on the NFL schedule release videos. And my brilliant idea was, man, this is gonna be great, cuz I watched the Giants one.

Do you have the Giants one that you could pull up? It's because they were bagging on the Cowboys in the way that they thought was funny. None of these was funny. None of these are funny. I watched all of the Cowboys' opponents, and they're all bad. And are we not, are we doing it? Yeah.

Anyway. Sweetheart, I can guarantee it. Yeah. So they got a big fat lady. I've never said this before. That lady's not fat. But this is gonna be my year. She's fat. Jordan, what do you think of that lady? She's not fat. I don't know.

She's no Jordan. Well. But she, I tell you what she is. She's comically over the top Southern lady for sure. Big fat, comically over the top Southern lady wearing a cowboy's cheerleader's outfit. Yeah, and just. And pouring out of it. And she's a little bit of a fag. comically over the top southern lady for sure. Big fat comically over the top southern lady wearing a cowboy's cheerleader's outfit.

Yeah, and just. And pouring out of it. Yeah, pouring out of it for sure. The whole thing, it reminds me of Eminem's Jessica, what was it, Jessica Parker? No, who did he make fun of? Eminem? Yeah, Eminem, he had a music video.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jessica Simpson? Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson. I mean, that mama wasn't necessarily large. She's larger than Jessica Simpson. It's Dan. Don't get bogged down. She's pouring out in the right areas.

No, Jessica Simpson complained about a lot of things in that book that they made her lose weight and all that. And I just thought, you know what? Let's talk to the radio executives or music executives to get their side of the story before you start complaining. thought, you know what, let's talk to the radio executives or music executives to get their side of the story before you start complaining. I don't think she's over, I don't think she's overtly overweight. I think they're just trying to poke at sensitive spots. The thing is sometimes you have to just keep that

plan in her head so that she'll be worried about it. Right. She's eating a burger. It's in our post-nups. What was your post-nup? There's a weight clause. Oh, nice. Very nice. Hmm. Is that normal?

No. It's very Tony Romo. There's going to be a weight clause. We haven't fully written it out yet. OK. Okay. Anyway. So, the thing is, I thought I had a great idea. I texted you guys about it yesterday morning because I watched the Giants one. We watched the Chargers one, which we also

have and we could break down a little bit if we want. I don't know if we want to here, but the Chargers, just the Chargers depiction of cowboys. Cause it is very funny. You could play it right now if you want to, Payton. There's an Eric Clayton, there's no thing. I was thinking of his grandfather, who was one of our original directors of the show. That's right, three generations.

And three generations of Kimbros have, but Payton Kimbro really is the guy who That's right. Three generations of Kimbrows have. But Peyton Kimbrow really is the guy who started it all. But if you want to fire it up, so the Cowboys, the Chargers had the Cowboys fans coming into the stadium, something falling off of the roof, the Fire Nico guy lip-syncing, and then they've got Demarcus Lawrence and Micah Parsons kind of fighting with a war of words on the field. So they were—and the sun, you can't see. So, you know, I thought, okay, this is great. I will watch all of the cowboys' opponents and watch how they bag on the cowboys, and that will be our angle. This is how we'll make this thing different.

It's really going to pop. No one else bagged on the Cowboys. Everything else sucked. Denver had little kids riding sheep, little, like real, actual kids. This wasn't a cartoon. Mutt & Bustin is what it's called. That's okay. I didn't know what it was.

Very southern thing. So they're riding sheep wearing different teams helmets, and that's how they would indicate. The Kansas City had a Chief's Cab where the driver would ask trivia questions, and the answer was going to be Dallas. Yeah. That was not good. Did you say it was cash cab? I just said it was called chiefs cab.

Okay. Yeah. I'm pretty sure it is the cash cab guy. Cause I watched that one too. Ben Bailey. Yeah. Um, anyway, New York, the giants had one where they were doing stereotypical characters and making fun of people.

What they, it was like the city, and that was why they had that. Anyway, but no one else really did anything, man. There was a lot of really long bits, bad bits, is that your experience too? Did you not find like anything like good? No, and the other thing too is, multiple teams, it wasn't just the Cowboys, did like two versions.

And what that means is neither one of your ideas were good. We've all been there. Yeah. It just means neither idea is good. And the Chiefs did one with, because I know that was on your list, but I watched it, the Chiefs did one in the cab, and they also did one with like kids,

where there's kids sitting around and they're doing like Pictionary. And it's, they're not good this year. I did not, there are a few we could go over if we wanted to do it at length, but I feel like this bid is either running its course or it was a down year. Well, it doesn't hurt that we all rushed

to see the Chargers one. Which is the best. Yeah, we now know. Yeah. I think it's running its course because how much different stuff can you do? Well, it's that. And the longer the video, the worse it is because they're just trying to explain themselves too long.

I mean, how long was the Cowboys video? The Cowboys one's terrible. Yeah, well, obviously. It was four or five minutes, wasn't it? The golf course one. Yeah. Atlanta did like a Mario Kart deal that was pretty sick. Oh yeah? Yeah.

That's what you have to do. You just have to find IP. Just figure out a way to make it look like something people have seen before, the only way to do anything, and try that. Philly had a true give up, but they're allowed to do anything and try that. Philly had a true give up, but they're allowed to do it because all they had was the theme to the 2001 of Space Odyssey or our unboxing music,

you know what that is? Yeah. Dun-dun, anyway, but as it is slowly revealing a Lombardi trophy and then they just put up the schedule and then they walk away. They're like, that's all, that's all we're gonna do. Yeah, look, you get the whole off season off. Because you're obsessed with these,

you would like the Titans one. So maybe we just need to make the decision on whether or not we wanna do the full thing or not. Cause the Titans one is called, it's a spoof for a medication called schedule Rizzi instead of sky Rizzi. Oh That's good Do you want to break it down in full tomorrow? Okay. Yeah, I'll do it tomorrow

It's because a lot of them suck, but that one's not bad severance the Ravens tried to do severance But I don't get it and oh, okay. I don't know I'm gonna have to go watch it So I can evaluate what do the Browns do then we watch the Browns. I didn't do that. Oh, okay. I don't know. I'm gonna have to go watch it. So I can evaluate. What did the Browns do? Did anybody watch the Browns? I didn't do that yet. What was theirs? Just cause I always wonder what the really bad teams

in horrible situations, how are they trying to? I saw a couple bad ones. Can they at least be good at that? Can you at least employ? Right. It says massage therapists. Ah, okay. Okay.

And as you pull up the taint, then you... Well, I don't know what it, I didn't watch this one, but maybe we need to, because it ranked very low on all these lists. Somebody I saw did the ice in the face, like morning routine challenge. Oh yeah, yeah, they hired the guy. They hired the guy. Yeah. See, that's probably key to some of these.

Yeah. I didn't know the Cash Cab guy. And so maybe that makes it better if I knew who that was. It was. I didn't know who it was, and it was just a bad bit. Yeah. But if you knew, then you got a little member berries. That's what's so hard about, I mean, Cash Cab was on TV, but still.

That's what's so hard about, I mean, Cash Cab was on TV, but still, that's what's so hard about making stuff from internet culture. Because you're going to put, as an NFL team, all your eggs in the basket that Jacksonville Jaguar fans have seen morning routine guy and know why it's funny. It's very hard to tell. We no longer have just the mono culture. So you said one was spoofing drug commercials? Yes, the title was like called, it was just, yes.

I just want to play this because I want to do more on this in the future too. And this is recorded just like kind of off my phone by the TV, okay? But I'm watching, what's that show on Channel 27 that we love? Family Feud. Family Feud.

I was gonna say that DZTV. DZTV is my second favorite show on Channel 27. On Every Night at Nine. That's right. Family Feud though is great. That's what I'm watching every night now. Oh yeah, I've had a phase. It's just, Steve Harvey, I've also found this.

He looks awesome whatever he's wearing. I would love to be able to wear anything that he wears, but I could never. No. But if it's a pink shirt, pink tie, and black, like whatever he's wearing just looks great. He's a great looking dude. He's a great looking dude.

Steve Harvey, and he's really funny. You wore a big suit on you. Big suit, I love it. But we were talking about the Browns and we had a little taint joke there. You're talking about the, anyway, I've never heard this before, but Family Feud does, will air a-

It's a little racy. No, they'll air a drug commercial on you. Oh, okay, yeah. My God, will they? They know their audience. Yeah. So anyway, will they? They know their audience. Yeah. So anyway, this is what I heard. If you have heart failure or chronic kidney disease,

Farsega can help you keep living life because there are places you'd like to be. Serious side effects include increased ketones and bladder urine and bacterial infection between the anus and genitals, both which may be fatal. Okay, so yes. Yeah, just say it. Blood or urine bad.

Yeah. Just side effect though. Yep. But yeah, then it's some kind of a bacterial infection between the anus and genitals, which is, of course, Yeah, it ain't your... The taint. Yeah. Taint the ass, taint the butt. Your perineum.

Yeah, and then it could be fatal. So you better, you gotta keep down there. Keep an eye on it. Are there people really, are there men not keeping track on that? What, like looking down there and making sure there's no bacteria? I don't know that I'm like scouring it for bacteria.

I would if I could. If they made a taint douche, I would use it. and making sure there's no bacteria. I don't know that I'm scouring it for bacteria. I'm not asking you to do a swab. If they made a taint douche, I would use it. If there was a thing that every couple days I just kinda squeezed down there, and just made it smell good and not be gross, I would do that. Some husbands don't have women looking down there. We're not firing our shorts off when we get home.

Well, you know what? We need to interview her in 10 years and just see. 10? That's a good point. Five? You're saying give it a- That's weak. Just pull it back.

Are you guys going to have kids? As soon as he's ready to be a bandit, I'm ready to be a chili. All right. I like it. Blue with humor. We are cooking. OK.

Today's news will be brought to us by Lucy. You like Lucy? Do you have any Lucy? Lucy.co. slash dumb zone. The groomsmen took all the Lucy's. I tend to have a mummy at all times. We had them at their little like gathering party and there were none left. Lucy.co. slash dumb zone. Promo code is dumb zone, you get 20% off your first order. Listen, a lot of people, I probably owe an apology,

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Is he in hospice? He is not quite in hospice, yes, but he's announced that he has an aggressive form of prostate cancer. He's not quite in hospice yet, but he's announced that he has an aggressive form of prostate cancer. Just that adjective always gets me. He looks very old in the post that he made. I listened to some.

Wasn't he just on The View like last week? Yeah, pretty recently. Is that where he got it? From who hosts that now, Chewbacca Mom? I think so. You know, there's a book, Jake Tapper wrote a book that's out right now about really like the last year of Biden.

And much like Najee Marshall was on a podcast recently that Jason Gallagher, our friends affiliated with, and I'm not gonna listen to it, because I just don't. I don't need to hear him talking about Luca, making me sad. Along those same lines, I don't need to read a book detailing how everyone in a certain political party knew that the president was like drooling all day and

Then we're just like let's just try this. Let's put them on TV and see what happens Nothing important at stake here. It is really weird. Let's give it a go put them up there. He's just like It's really amazing The most one of the most memorable nights in my life. I can tell you that. Somebody talked to him before that happened and was like, fuck, yes. Yeah, they were like, yeah, I want him to debate Donald Trump. This is, it's our best shot, here we go,

go give it your best, Joe. And he's like, I guess, man. And you know, there are people that fault him. Yeah, I was gonna say, do you discredit him on this at all? I don't know, man. It's a very complicated situation. Could you have talked him out of it? Didn't seem like it.

Didn't seem like it at the time. It talked him into it. It took that spectacle, though. Yeah. Where, I mean, five minutes in, people are texting each other. It's over. Because you know five minutes in, people are always texting their side anyway. Because you kind of know how these things are gonna turn out, but not

that one. No. So he looks, like I said, looks very very old in this photo. How old is he? What is he, 84? 84? 82. About to turn 83. So the type of cancer he has, I guess it's spread to where I think I heard someone say at five years it's 37%, so he probably isn't gonna make it too much longer, you wouldn't think it very complicated. If you're 82, you're always thinking that, right? Yeah. So it's not, this isn't like tragic.

No, and he's lived a life too, man. He's had some tragedy. They learned her. No doubt. From losing his first wife and I think a couple, one or two kids in a car accident. Oh really? Yeah. He's been nice to his other kids though.

Yeah, he's like. One of his kids has been nice to his other kid's wife. Yeah, that's what I mean. He gave a... signed a seal of approval. He did. He signed off on that. No word on whether he signed off on that Chinese prostitute jerking him off with her feet while he was smoking crack.

Who's that? Hunter Biden? Top five video of all time, man. You've seen that video? Oh, I mean, they're all out there. Well, that doesn't mean you have to look at it. Who's that, Hunter Biden? Top five video of all time, man. You've seen that video? Oh, I mean, they're all out there. Well, that doesn't mean you have to look at it. It's a political news story.

Did you use that for a donation? No. No, but I don't know that the laptop was out there yet, but I would have considered it just from a historical standpoint. Like, if you want to get your kid into politics, maybe you, does that help? Yeah, no, well, I mean, I have the one that I use saved

and if that's any indication, I have a cornerback, the old kind. All right, so there was a bit of a nautical disaster up in the northwest over the weekend as a Mexican Navy ship crashed into the Brooklyn Bridge. Can we back up for a second? You don't think they have a Navy? They got a Navy, huh? Cool.

No, I mean they've gotta have a Navy. Would you really think? They've gotta protect the Gulf of America. So when I saw this picture, I thought this was a joke. I thought this was an onion article. Yeah, because it looks like the Conquistador from Six Flags. The Conquistador?

Conquistador. I can't believe I've never made that joke before. There's so many times writing the Conquiftador. We can watch the video if you want so you can get kind of a feel for this. It's like a show ship. And it's way too tall. And were there people standing up there? Yeah, lots of people.

People were up on the mast, several rows of masts, 19 injuries, two sailors dead. If you see you're heading that way, do you jump off the mast? I don't know how you're not, yeah. They're about to hit the concrete? Yeah, I think it comes all the way to the, I mean, it stops there. Oh, OK. What do we have, drunk pilot?

You know, called captain, not a pilot. You can't pilot a ship, right? I would have, I think I would have not called you on that. The last report I saw from this morning, it doesn't, it just says it's, the ship experienced a mechanical malfunction, it was moving in the wrong direction, and the current took it under the bridge. It was not supposed to be headed in that direction.

It has sails, though. How is it mechanical? and the current took it under the bridge. It was not supposed to be headed in that direction. It has sails though. How is it mechanical? Yeah, I don't know if it might be gussied up to look old. There was some wind at the time. Yeah, I don't know. Okay. I just feel it.

There's tons of cars on the bridge. I know that was pretty wild. Yeah. Where were the deaths? People on the boat? Yeah, one, it said one cadet and one sailor. Oh, so we just watched people die right there. Yeah, yeah, and you were laughing a lot.

Faces of death. It is a pretty big flag. But here's the thing, two deaths, 200 survivors. So it's... But they were just Mexican naval. Yeah, that's a cool looking ship. They get an Air Force too? I bet.

Space Force? No way. We gotta be one of one. No, well, it depends on what they call it in other places, cause you know, like Russia and China. They got astronauts and stuff, but do they have fighting astronauts? That I don't know.

Man, so. That I don't know. Man, so... That I don't know. You know how they all have the graduating signs in yards and everything? My kid just graduated, zoom and come love from this high school. The neighbor across the street from us has a kid in the Space Force. Hell yeah. What do you do? Do you put it out there?

Like if your kid were the number one... Cadet at Space Academy? Yeah, but I'm trying to think like in high school, what's like a nerdy thing they could be... ROTC. Yeah, that's part... but maybe you could... I'm trying to think of like chess club or something. Hey, chess is cool. Yeah, but like, do you celebrate it the same as like... does he want like a football style thing out front? Like you had the softball style thing for your daughter. If she was in robotics,

like would you have put that out there? Probably, but it feels different. Space Force, I can tell you this. Yeah, you have to pretend that you're into whatever your kid is into, even when you think it's suspect. But if you put out your son's like, hey, Marine Corps sign or whatever,

the neighbors are walking by like, phew. Hell yeah. Tough guy, you better watch my wife. There's space force? So that's, what'd you do? Oh, you're a bike cop? It's the bike cop of the military. Now, yeah.

In the future, this'll be the thing. You think? Oh, we're gonna have the starship troopers. Starship troopers? We're gonna have the real Star Wars eventually. Let's see here. When will the first battle in space be? Yeah, it'll be-

Like, will you be alive? It will, it'll depend on what that means, right? Like, are you talking about manned aircraft firing at one another or they're fighting on a planet surface somehow. Cause if it's just like, blow up a satellite, you blow up our satellite, that's probably already happening. Yeah.

But I think gravity is really gonna be our challenge for Well I wonder why ground combat. That is interesting. So Russia is trying to kill, who is it, Ukraine. Does Ukraine have its own satellite that Russia could just go pinpoint that and just blow it up? Like how come they don't do that? They probably do that to some extent.

Yeah, I don't know. There may be some that are protected by the West. I mean, I know Ukraine uses Starlink, Elon's internet. That's new. Generation kill in space, Jake? I don't know how you do it. You just gotta have to- There's gonna be space marines. Yeah, someone's gotta wear the halo.

We talk a lot about deportations these days in the news, and there's a gentleman in Harris County, it could be a woman, that's a man, that should be deported from the state of Texas. They're suing Waterburger with a claim that Waterburger failed to act in accordance with the appropriate standard of care causing him to suffer personal injuries. This is not Clayton. This is not Clayton. It is not Clayton. It is a man who is suing Water Burger

because he ordered no onions and they put onions on his burger. Listen, we've all been there. Okay, no, I'm actually one of those people. Onions make my mouth swell. I don't eat onions. I'm pro-onion. I scrape them off.

I respect the onion, just can't have it. I don't like eating, I don't eat onions on burgers. I'll eat onions. I'm pro-onion. I scrape them off. I respect the onion, just can't have it. I don't like eating, I don't eat onions on burgers. I'll eat onions in recipes. Grilled onions. Yeah. The point is, it's a sue water burger. Well here's the thing, I was thinking about this this week. How do onions and deportation go together?

Because we're big water burger fans. He should be deported from, you shouldn't be allowed to be in Texas if you're going to sue water burger over some little mistake like that. It's a Chicago company now. It hasn't been the same. You're still allowed to be in Texas if you're gonna sue Waterburger over some little mistake like that. It's a Chicago company now. It hasn't been the same. You're wrong. I think you're 100% wrong. You're a million percent wrong.

I actually went Thursday. I'm not willing to fight about it and if you have another comment on it, I don't wanna hear it. What I do wanna say is that Waterburger's great and I was thinking about this this weekend. Waterburger, are they happy when they get a really stupid thing like this?

Yeah, that's why I'm doing the story. It puts them in the news, it gives them more publicity, and you get most people thinking, this guy's an idiot. Why would you attack something that I love that's so dear to my heart that is as Texan as Sam Houston? This guy came out here thinking he was Aaron Brockovich. You know, he's fighting for the people and everyone's like, no.

No, not here. Uh-uh, buddy. Yeah. Pick the wrong one. What a burger will pull a bit on you. Yeah, I love what I'm. They're pro-bit. They are so pro-bit.

They are so into bits. A man in Arlington, 29-year-old man, was arrested last week for a 2020 murder. Now this is otherwise not really news, but I found this one interesting because he lured his victim by posing as a woman online. Oh, that's a good bit. Well, you can get me that way.

No doubt. I could be talking to multiple murderers right now. I don't even know if I care if I ever found out it was a dude why yeah I was flirting with me online. I'm like, alright, it's great The time at the time it was cool and this guy really knows how to push my buttons. Yeah Absolutely. I got a raging hard on No one just has a mild one right it's always got always gotta be raging. No, it's the same as cancer. No one's ever like, this cancer tends to run the ball

in first, second down, kind of throw on third, take what the defense gives it. It's always aggressive. Cancer never punts. Unfortunately. But yeah, they say that this guy, he robbed a guy and murdered him, and he posed as a woman online looking for dates

to lure him to the scene. I guess, I never really did the online dating thing, but is that something people were worried about, like getting robbed? Yeah, so one of my friends told Blake about that. I was in a lingerie bikini company, and one of my friend's photos was used as catfishing scheme for quite some time, and she caught a lot of flack for it, unfortunately.

But it's terrifying. But also, do you think you would be able to distinguish between like, oh, there's no way this hot chick's actually into me, or this is AI? If you were out in the dating world right now. I don't know. I don't know, I feel this is completely egomaniacal, but I feel like I'm weird enough to where

I would be able to tell if I was having a conversation with a robot. I feel like I would too. Now, but what he's saying is a different story, which is it's not a robot. It's a person. It's a dude. It's a man. But I feel like you would be able to know

whether you're talking to a chick or, I don't know. I feel like there's vernacular that women use versus men that I feel you might be able to catch on to, especially if it's in romantics. Hand wallet, stuff like that. Yeah, you know, fire the shorts off. Yeah. I mean, I got someone named Selena who wrote,

hi, nice to meet you. I saw your profile and was attracted by you, so I sent you a message. Can we get to know each other? I hope this doesn't bother you. That's the Selena you were telling me about? So I don't think that's AI at all. Apparently she's Asian.

She's 37, it says here. Alicia, what was her name? That's right up your alley, bro. Selena. Okay, so Selena, a traditionally Hispanic name. Yeah. She doesn't look Hispanic. Well, I don't know.

It's hard to tell, though. And I think she's just really into me. I mean, it seems like that was very conversational. And there's a lot of people that would see my profile and be like, my gosh, let's send him a DM. Never listen to his show or anything. So yeah, except. profile and be like, my gosh, let's send him a DM. Never listen to his show or anything. So yeah, accept and start. So you were like a lingerie model?

Yeah, well it was mostly bikini. So I was kind of the, I was the tattooed one. So you are very heavily tattooed? Mid thigh all the way to like lower back, yeah. It's about a third of my body. It's hard. When did you start that? At an illegal age. I guess I got my first tattoo when I was 15, sorry mom. Was it just tiny? Yeah, it was a tiny little constellation, Big Dipper.

So, and after that I kind of incorporated all the tattoos and turned it into one giant piece, so. My mom tried to take me before I was 18, but they wouldn't let her. She was all mad at the government about that. She wanted you to get a tattoo? Well, I wanted to get one, and she was down. And she said, she's for it?

Do you, what do you think the percentage of people, 25 to 35, is that have a tattoo. Oh it's huge. Well because I was huge. Just walking through the grocery store the other day and just looking around and I was thinking it might be like 80%. Oh I was gonna say I was gonna if you said 50-50 I'd say that. Who at least have one tattoo even a hidden tattoo somewhere. Yeah because you got to factor in, the ones you can't see, and it looks like close to 50. The taint too. The taint too.

Right? I was just going to- One of the teams did a, it might have been Minnesota, they did a thing where they must have put out a call, unless these were all fake, but people were getting tattoos of opposing teams, and that's how you would know, it's cowboys because they were getting a cowboy's tattoo. I've got a cowboy tattoo. You have a cowboy's tattoo? I lost a bet and I got a cowboy tattoo. What was the bet?

I got the registered R trademark so I'm actually Jerry Jones' property if anyone asks. Nice. Well he's already had your mom right? I mean you may be his yeah you may legitimately be his property. Would you be upset if that was your real dad and then he just never talked to you? No, I look so much like my dad. There is no question. There is no question. Would I be upset?

What did Jerry say? That's beautiful. Looking at them can. What was the bet? It was with a male friend. I'm also a Chicago Bears fan because my family's from Chicago or Italian, that whole thing. So I get disappointed twice every week.

It's great. If the Bears won, he had to get the Chicago C around his nipple. And if the Cowboys won, I had to get the star's tattoo on my hip. So the Dallas Cowboys star on my hip. That's not where Dan thought that was. If, no, no, no, no, yeah, if the Cowboys won. Cause I was a Bears fan, right? And he was a Cowboys star on my hip. If they won. That's not where Dan thought that was. No, no, no, no, yeah, if the Cowboys won,

because I was a Bears fan, right? And he was a Cowboys fan. So it wasn't a huge L for me. Yeah, you were gonna do whatever, you didn't care. I just turned 18, I was looking for an excuse. Her saying that somebody took those photos and started using them catfish-wise. I can't remember if I've told you guys this before,

but one of the more controversial threads in my friend group, like in our early and mid-20s, my buddy who got married first, her and a bunch of our friends, all the girls went to South Padre together, and they're taking photos, not nudes, but just like hot, late teen, early 20-something college girls.

Girls Gone Wild is huge in Padre. And it was that time, and one of our buddies, like six months later, had to hit our guy up and be like, hey, there's this picture of your wife is on this porn site, like it's being advertised as the thumbnail to get into the site. And it sure was. Nice.

But the conversations we had with that guy afterward of how did you decide to tell him? This was not a mainstream porn site. This was a how did you find this? It was real seedy. Real seedy. You might just have to never tell them. Yeah, but I don't think I would've.

I don't think I would've. Especially today when OnlyFans exists so much. It's so prevalent. I swear I saw a stat that one out of six women under 30 or something. There's no way. I don't know anyone. Yeah.

Granted, I went to school from the camp in the engineering, so I don't know a lot of women. But I don't know anyone who's got OnlyFans. And I'm still sub-30. Maybe you do, but. Maybe, yeah, maybe there's a secret, secret, secret. Hit us up if you're a dumb zone OnlyFan-er. All right, there's a secret, secret, secret. Hit us up if you're a Dumb Zone only fan-er. All right, there's your news.

Cause don't you feel like, like we run the numbers and it says 95% male audience. And either that's wrong or women are just so loud. Cause I swear we hear from it. It's like 50%. The Dumb Zone news. Like and subscribe! Franko & Franko will be the sponsor for today in history.

214-817-333-3333. If I find out that one of you were personally injured, you go call the Frankos. What are you gonna do? Be upset? 214-817. Shake your fist at them? Honestly, this morning I thought about someone doing that, about someone listening to this show every day.

And then that opportunity, that golden opportunity of a car accident falls right in. How excited they'll be. Yeah, you have a real opportunity here. Jordan, if you get in an accident on the way back to Houston, in fact, I'm going to pray for that. You know what?

I hope that you do. I'm upside down on the payments right now. I would love to get in an accident and total that thing. So yeah. Get some orthopedic surgery going on. Insurance companies would try to take advantage of you. Frankel will. Hey, this accident hurt my small breasts.

I think we need to. And now I'm self-conscious, which is a medical condition. A mental health issue. Would you be into them enhancing that for you as they're doing the reconstruction? You know, I mean, if you're- Pump it up a little bit. Yo, Brittany Mahomes.

If you're in there. Fantastic. You're already in there. She did it? Those are good implants. She doesn't look stupid. I feel like you would do, I feel like you should do post-kids.

But Franco and Frankel will take care of you regardless. That is the point really. 2148173333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 She doesn't look like your thing that you mentioned. Like a 50 year old trying to look 25. She may be. So, oh, a couple viewer mail birthdays first. Let me go to current email. I'll get out of the old Jordan emails I was looking at. Jordan's got some. He's just got a bookmarked over there.

Well, no, it's incredible. It's my day, damn it. You won't believe what Hotmail can do, so you just search. It's all right there? Jordan, and then every Jordan email comes right up. Like, you don't have to wait. You don't have to filter through every single one?

If you think about it, that's what those boys died for back then, you know? I respect him for it. Dear Dan, last July I wrote you to share my wife and I's trip for my 30th birthday. Oh, this relates to Jordan as well. Oh, go on. Of educating you, Jake, and Innocent Blake of the penetrating move known as the moose. Wow. you Jake and Innocent Blake of the penetrating move known as the moose.

Wow. Because I believe Jordan once emailed me to say she's been moosed. I was moosed. I don't know if it's true or not, but I don't wanna know. I like the idea of it. Anyway, for my wife's 30th,

we'll be gallivanting across Italy. Nice. Here on May 19th. He said, I'll pull out the moose as my finisher with intentions of producing a child. Of what sort, Blake? It would be a boy. Yeah, it's a boy. Yeah.

From Douglas Waterbottom. King. That is his name. That's awesome. Yeah, it's a boy. Yeah. From Douglas Waterbottom. King. That is his name. That's awesome. Respect.

Dear Constable of the See You Next Tuesday. I'd like to wish my pal Treva McCrotchke happy DF birthday. It's her seven foot schnitzel plus Kawite Leonard birthday. Who's Kawite Leonard? Cooper Flag. Oh. She's a former homecoming queen from Colliville Heritage. She lives in New York City as a gold star gay with her V1 wife, Jerry. She's a former homecoming queen from Colliville heritage.

She lives in New York city as a gold star gay with her V1 wife, Jerry. Fantastic. And we still- Should we go? stars more often. She was one that offered her condo. Treva is trying to organize dumb ass meetups in New York city.

You look at those pictures? At Wayne and Son's Tex-Mex restaurant in the East Village during the Yankees Ranger Series. Dude. It's coming up. We gotta go. It's super, super nice. Let Blake wander around out on the balcony like Clapton's kid.

Her leaders are Jake's Let Freedom Wing Hooters T-shirt. That is a good one. The first 90%, although she thinks braces should be referred to as pecker-reckers. She wants to rename the Dragon Den to the Phallus Palace. AKA. And she likes any and all Blake-sploitation by Dan, and music by her favorite singer, Militia Etheridge. Militia?

Oh, okay, I like it. I think, yeah. I like that a lot. Anyway. That's the first person I think I knew who a lesbian, like that I knew what a lesbian was. I think they sent a picture too, so we'll put that up on the wall.

Eventually, eventually you'll be up on this wall, Jordan. You've sent pictures. I think I sent two. Where? Are we going to have room on the press lot? We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. We got some remodeling to do.

We do. Well, you all are moving studios, right? We could put it back there so that. We could see it. We could see it. And the suits from Fox won't see it. That's a great point. That is a great point.

Suits don't like us. Ah, you know. Also, I just had these come in. We have... Dear plotter of the pathway to the pussy. I'd like to wish my good friend and all around good dude Zach a happy birthday. That's from Jonesy.

P.S. Please remind Zach to stop being such a F slur on the golf course. Wow, fellas. I mean, you're on a golf course. You're kinda all in it together. And Dan, Saturday was the birthday of my buddy RJ. A late shout out would be cool. He's 40 years old.

He is still living off the glory of playing D2 football two decades ago. That'll work. That's all you need. More Julie, more handoff, more stars talk. Agreed. From Shane in Collyville. Geez, my guy.

Good dude. Have you met him? I have heard nothing but positive things about Shane from Collyville. I would love to meet him at the DZ Generic summer event. Please, come. I wonder if he'd still bring us back. Bikini girls. He did that many years ago. So today in history on Monday May 19th on this day in 1536 Ann Bolan she was

the second wife of England's King Henry the eighth. She nailed some guy behind his wife, or behind his back. Yeah, what happened? And she apologized and they moved on. They did a couple's weekend of counseling. Did a little therapy. She was beat. He realized he was the problem. Yeah.

What could I do different? Am I not listening to you enough? She was beheaded. Oh no. One of many. Unheaded. On this day in 1967, oh maybe we should rethink this space force thing. The Soviet Union ratified a treaty with the United States and Britain banning nuclear

and other weapons from outer space as well as celestial bodies such as the moon. So they're like, look. We know you think you got a loophole here. You think you're going to put, don't put a nuclear bomb on the moon. And it's like, all right, we won't if you won't. You think that includes nuclear power plants, or is it just bombs?

That's actually not a bad question, right? Because that's where it starts up there, if we have to have power Well, wouldn't you just put solar panels? I? Don't know wind turbines Yeah There's no wind on there's no wind on the moon Wind stops blowing you can't watch a TV. I know it's totally screwed the The viscosity of oil would be drastically different.

Sorry, okay, no. She's an actual engineer. Yeah, no, I just. She's also drunk, so it's like half it. No, I'm not, I've had three. On this day in 1997, Marv Albert, the voice of the NBA, was charged in an indictment with biting a woman in Arlington, Virginia hotel room as many as 15 times

and forcing her to perform oral sex. In which order do you think that occurred? Yeah, cause wasn't he, wasn't he like- You can't bite her, well, I guess you could. It depends on where everybody is. She's upside down, bro. How are you, but he's forcing that while biting her. Oh, I put a video in there of this No, no on this day in 2016. I was like, all right, let's go to the tape

Actually, I was wanted to have Clayton queued up a little bit, but just fired off. Do you know what I'm talking about? The more Valbert thing is crazy man Clayton the the video of this thing that happened on this day in 2016. Oh. Oh my god. I'm really excited to share with you something I got. I honestly didn't even know this. I went to Kohl's today. I had to make a couple returns.

This was on Instagram. Stuff didn't fit. Surprisingly, it was a little too big. You're looking at Candice Payne. Is it shame? No. No, no shame. It's all love. It's all love. Shut up.

Okay, so here's what I found when I was at Cole's and I'd like to say that I bought this for my son that would really really want it. This video was actually this long? I'm going to be honest, he'll probably confiscate it from me. Confiscate? That's a word, right? Okay, so he'll probably take it from me. She's well known as Chewbacca mom and she's just every lady you've ever dealt with at a bank That's not me making that noise, it's the mask!

Here listen. The fact that she's so energized by it. You know, I thought she was the one. Oh, look, Jordan loves it. She brought you down. She's crying. She's literally crying. You're crying. Wow.

Stupid. And then you tried to book her, and she had an agent, and she was just pissed. Oh, man, it was impossible. I got so mad about that. Shuffle Girl have an agent at the time? Yeah, because I was, no, Shuffle Girl had an OnlyFans. Yeah, she still does.

Yeah. How quickly do you have to get to fame to get an agent? Chewbacca Mom got in quick, and it was like a God thing. She was working, because she was going to be speaking at churches and stuff. The Baker Girl got an agent. Baker Girl got an agent. Shuffle Girl definitely doesn't, she doesn't have one now.

Blake wants her to come to the summer event and hit me with a shovel. Like we paid Tay Zonday to come to ticket stock once. The Panthers guy. If this goes well this year. Next year is gonna be. And we can, we know we can actually profit and stuff. Yes, we're going to use profits for bits this year. We're trying to break even next year.

Shovel girl hit me in the sack with a shovel. Wow. Mark that down. I don't know if that would go sack. I don't need it anymore. On this day. And that's true. I don't need it anymore. On this day in, that's true, in 2017, Anthony Weiner. Wow. He was a New York congressman? Yeah. He was a golden boy too. Pleaded guilty in Manhattan to a sex charge.

He was in tears as well. Apparently he had just watched the Candice Payne video. He was apologizing for his communications with a 15 year old girl. How old was Anthony Weiner? 30s? Yeah, no, no. What would you say? 17, 2017. He's 60 now. No he's not. Yeah. Wow. He's been around. Okay he's in his 50s. So as a 15 year old girl thoughyear-old girl, though, how could you... I don't know. I'm sorry. Yeah, because I think he was sitting...

Deepix. I don't remember how it happened. Do you think he caught up with a 21-year-old at 15? Okay, I can kind of see it. I get it. I don't think it was a one-time deal either. 50-something, man. Come on. On this day in 2019, Game of Thrones aired its final episode on HBO. And the worst today.

Hunter, Hunter, Hunter. Other birthdays today, Cooper Bibi is 24. Boy, he was going. He was shirred off at a Stars game. I love that we just have a very solid offensive line tradition. Of? Big guy, just being rowdy at every other

local sporting event, whether it was Travis Frederick and Zack Martin. Tyler Booker was there recently Yeah, just they go to the Stars suite offensive lineman guard immediately knows. Let me let me take this shirt off They want to see a big man's hairy boobs Brandon Carr 39 and when a cowboy goes to a Stars game, it's a big deal. They zoom in on him Look at him. Yeah stars go to the cowboy's game. I didn't even know you were here. Sorry.

Brandon Carr, 39, his number. That was a overall solid signing. Yeah. And they probably look at it like, oh my God, that was a disaster. London Fletcher, 50. Baller. So cool.

Kevin Garnett 49 overrated Archie Manning is 76 Arshon Lattimore is 29 Archie is the father of Cooper Manning. Yeah, I just don't know what to think of them Great sperm that'll be a three-generation family His sperm is so much better than mine. No cups needed. Let's see, Brandon Inge is 48. You know what Josh Loom would say about him every time the Tigers rolled in?

Yeah. Or about baseball? It's a game of Inges. Okay. George St. Pierre is 44. UFC. You've probably talked to him and didn't even know it. I Know that I talked to this MMA meathead. He's not but chin Michael Che is 42 in General I think I'm back in on him not funny, but I

do love This week was the finale the joke finale. The joke swap is great. The joke swap is great. It's always, it's a little unfair. Like you can't, there's nothing you can give Michael Che that's gonna be as funny as what you can give. Yeah. I mean, Colin's given him a few where he asked,

like he'll give him a joke about some plight of the black community. Yeah, yeah. And it's funny. I really appreciate that SNL still does that, because it feels off on a cut. Like they shouldn't, yeah. Yeah, but I think I've gone back.

Michael Che, I think, is weird because he's a comic. I don't like comics who fuck around on social media too much. I hate it, actually, because it's like, dude, just write your jokes in writing time, be funny when you're on stuff. But like Michael Che would argue with magazines that would review him negatively and this and that. It's just like, just do your thing and be funny.

Well, that's the problem with him. I know, and that's okay. He doesn't have that. Maybe you're right. Is SNL back? Or am I just old? Cause I end up watching at least half of it in some form or fashion every week. And I don't hate it.

I haven't watched SNL since 2008. Yeah, I mean. I just can't. It definitely doesn't feel quite as like in the bag for just centrist shit libs anymore. It feels like they're willing to make fun of everybody in a way that's doable, I don't know. The Trump thing is an automatic win for them though.

If you haven't seen how they do it, if they don't have anything, James Austin Johnson just goes out there and kind of does stand up like he's Trump. He just goes up there and like, what else is going on? What do we have, tariffs? And he just goes, that's just the open. I don't know who the black girl is that was doing,

she came in and did like a bit during weekend update this week. She's funny. She's funny, I love her. Yeah. Like she's got. A woe, yeah, she has like a Nigerian last name, I think, right? Yeah, she's really good. She's funny, I love her. Yeah. Like she's got. A wo, yeah she has like a Nigerian last name I think, right, yeah she's really good.

She's awesome. I like the- Keep your eye out for some black girl. I like the Latino guy they have that does the, like the over the top version of Saburo Yagante. He has like crazy, crazy over the top, like Mexican accent. I think it's good, Subi.

Shooter Jennings is 46, that is Waylon Jennings' son. So you've heard of Waylon Jennings. Oh yeah, popular name. I don't know if you've ever heard of Shooter Jennings, but looking at him today, he has an album called Put the O Back in Country. Heck yeah. Oh come on man.

I love it. So, yeah. Just thought that's an interesting lane for Shooter Jennings to be in. He's saying all you country music people are Cs, not me. I'm putting the O back in. And our birthday of the day is for Blake today. Christopher Comstock, 33.

Oh, let me just say the name you know him by, Marshmello. Oh, I do like his music. Bro, that's me. You? I've seen Marshmello a couple times. I thought he told me he's watching him in a Minecraft concert. Fortnite. I listened to Marshmello a couple times. I thought he told me he's watching him in a Minecraft concert. Fortnite.

I listen to Marshmello today. You're probably the underground, huh? What a brag there. Yeah, humble brag. It's fun music. I introduced my daughter to it. It's good for kids, because it's all happy,

and the guy's wearing a big mask, a big helmet, and they're like, what's going on over there? Gave her a little bit of my leftover Molly from seven, eight years ago last time I saw him, and we had a good weekend. Yeah, what's the half life on Molly?

More than seven years. All right, then, CPS, I need you to get involved, we're fine. I'll start with dead on this day, still dead, cause I wanna end big. We have Jackie, Jacqueline Kennedy. She died on this day. And Michael Aldrich, it says here, the inventor of online shopping.

So I don't know how he got that. That legit is like me inventing YouTube. Yeah. It would have used like, God, internet, what have we? Boy, I wish I could just buy it here. Michael. Yeah. It would have used like, God, internet. What have we bought? Boy, I wish I could just buy it here. Michael? Born on this day now dead though, we have, oddly enough, on this day, his birthday is Peter Mayhew. On Chewbacca Mom day. Peter Mayhew is the actor who played Chewbacca. Hi, Peter Mayhew.

He actually lived like in Granberry for a while. He did. Malcolm X. Andre the Giant. Have you ever read a Malcolm X document, or a biography? No, should I? I haven't, I'd like to. Yeah.

That was a good DEI ice cream flavor that came through. Malcolm expresso. Ooh, that's a good bit. I would love for that to continue, by the way. Nicole Brown Simpson and Born on this Day Now Dead. Now, it's not his death anniversary. His death anniversary is like, I don't know if it was early August or late July. I don't know if it was early August or late July.

But his birthday is today. It was like early August, late July of 2021 he died. Dusty Hill. What's not his death day? Well, yeah. Birthday. Whatever. Of ZZ Top. Cause you guys were at camp. Yeah. What's not his death day? Well, yeah. Whatever. Of ZZ Top. Because you guys were at camp.

Yeah. Breaking into the news as we already had signed off. Dusty Hill has died. Breaking news. We were in our news segment. I need to stop down everything. Well, this is news. To let these two guys.

It's such a fascinating. What indication had these two guys ever given that they even know who Dusty Hill is? It's one of my favorite just experiments in human behavior in our career. When you decide, hey, it's time to pop on with some news, whether you're ticker guy or producer, the confidence you have to have to think that Dan and I, either one of us, by name,

know and would be moved by in any way the death of Dusty Hill. Well, I mean, you're a Texas native, I felt like you would have these. I waited until 48, I'm not asking you to do five minutes on him, just saying, hey, this guy with the beard, he played in ZZ Top He's dead. It just happened

Which one was he? So stick around for more on the ticker. He was the one with the beard And remember Frank beard. Yep didn't have a beard. No beard at all but his name is beard. He doesn't do a beard He doesn't do a beard. And that was Today in History. At some point we gotta tell, we'll just do it now. So it's really cool to go to somebody's wedding and just by you and your boys being there, they're excited, they're having a good time. What a great thing for your ego.

That's the only reason I went. So you need on the flip side of that is the classic. And it happened when we were at the Ticket, too, but this was the third level of it. Guy who comes up to you and he's like, ah, man, I've been a huge fan, been listening to you guys for years. You're like, thanks, man.

I tend to think they probably don't really know who we are as the dumb zone, but they're like, okay, I know these guys were from the Ticket. But then he's like, yeah, you guys weren't just out at the camping thing this week, huh? Yeah, I listen to you every day. Every day, I listen to you every day.

When he first said I listen to you every day, I'm like, wow, man, that is so awesome. A subscriber. I thought there was a small chance. And we were around some people who were. Who were listeners. Daily listeners, so it's like, okay, this makes sense, you know,

that Jordan would be friends with. Yeah, we didn't know the guy. I said a few minutes go by, and that's when he mentions, you guys were out camping this week, and I was like, oh no, we don't work at the ticket. We haven't worked there in a couple years. He's like, well, what happened?

I was like, oh, we have a show called The Dumb Zone. Towards the end of Dan's time there, we had a show called The Hang Zone. But we got into some legal things. Was he even aware of The Hang Zone? I wonder what that is. And see that's the thing, did he think I was Bob, basically?

There's a chance he just thought I was Bob and knows that you're kinda something. And then somebody, your mom actually, said something. Like oh, no, no, they haven't worked there in a couple years. And we're not upset about it. That's a good thing. Be reminded, most people don't have a clue who you are.

When I worked at the ticket, I would go to my wife's company Christmas party and her boss would be like, tell Ben and Skin I said hi. Yeah. I'm like, I never have, but. So yeah, it wasn't like we were upset, but the problem is the guy doesn't know that because he's instantly trying to apologize into his own body of like

because he realizes they just caught me lying they yeah he's like I listen every day and then he said that we're like oh no we don't work there anymore hey I'm well aware of who you guys and then he kind of pause for a second he goes I feel dumb and then we all just kind of paused for a second, he goes, I feel dumb. And then we all just kind of stood there for a second. I was like, nah, man, it's fine. It's all good. It's all good.

And then he kind of just turned away. And then when we were leaving, the three of us together, he was outside smoking a cigarette with somebody else, and they clearly had been talking about it. Because as we were walking up, the other guy was like, he knows now, man, he knows y'all now. The guy's like, yeah, sorry again. We're like, we don't care.

But it was funny. Yeah, I wanna have closing remarks and talk about you a little bit more about Jordan and your wedding. And it'll be brought to us real quickly by One Day Doors and Closets. It's funny, because they said, oh, we wanna throw in a couple of extra copy points. So for One Day Doors and Closets,

which is like hanging a new piece of art in every room, like seriously, go home, look at your doors. They suck. Right. You'll like then realize, man, what if I upgraded these things? Get a different color. They could help you do that. OneDayTexas.com slash promo 30 will get you two doors for the price of one door. But there are new copy points. Doors are fully finished cabinet grade paint. Ooh, that's way better. Is it? Yeah, so there's different. Because I'm reading that

going, what does that mean? That's wear and tear. That's it. They're gonna hold on. You're never gonna get they're going to hold on there. You're never going to get any like smudges or paint fingerprints or anything like that. That is so much better. Cause normally doors are okay. Sorry. No, no. She's like, yeah.

I want this because I'm thinking they just, I was just about to make a copy point. That's cabinet grade paint. Sometimes they do it with water color and you come back the next day. It's a paint scone. Like a Hentai. Nope. Wrong. Nope. Yeah, man, that's porno. You're thinking of a henna.

No, hentai. Hentai. What's the tattoo that... Henna is the tattoo. ...disappears. Hentai is a Japanese cartoon porno. Okay, well, that's not what I meant. It's okay. You're pretty. But the promo code...

But it also says the install includes everything, handles, hinges, and any other hardware needed. Everything is done. Can I make one of that? Because I'm thinking, of course it does, but maybe some people didn't know that? Not only some people don't know that, some companies don't give you that stuff. Oh, is that true? Yes. Okay, well I want to know why are these important copy points to bring up today and you guys have answered them for me Yeah, and I learned all about the Japanese thing. Yeah. Yeah This is not an ad for that No, but I don't know their website, but if you need a door to close for some privacy

No one will hear you one day doors thick door Totally thick door. We hear thick is more important sometimes. Yeah. Than the length of the door. Sure. Right? You don't want like a skinny long door.

And you need a nice thick finish too. There you go. Yeah, I'm about that revolving door, you know? Yeah, hell yeah, bro. You know what's funny is the guy emailed me at the start of the show when she was here and he was like dude you guys got to stop with all this horniness he's like it's mostly Dan but it's uncomfortable I've been horny around you I don't feel I haven't been horny at all it's just funny that the show ended with this

who me me oh I feel like people Telling people to fire their shorts off, talking about- Yeah, I know, I'll send it to your email. I have not overly horned it up with- I didn't make any- With Jordan the girl. Accusations, I was telling you about an email. I just said she's Hot Girl Jordan. Yeah. That's all I did.

She knows it, she was like a model or something. You're on. Her email signature is Hot Girl Jordan. Well, it's just because Jake kept saying, every time I would say Jordan, he's like, girl, yeah, hot. It is. Okay. Hot Girl Jordan. Yeah, Jake's just because Jake kept saying every time I would say Jordan he's like girl yeah hot it is okay Yeah, it's just by the name It's okay. Anyway, so she claims to have been moosed. Yes. She has sent us photos

They'll be on the wall, but every year on her birthday. She'll take a bath with money. Yes What does that mean to do? So we whatever our age was we multiply by a hundred In one dollar bills were throw it in a tub and we would take a little photo shoot That was a bit of a thing to do. What does that mean? So whatever our age was, we'd multiply it by 100. In $1 bills, we'd throw it in a tub, and we would take a little photo shoot. Okay. That's awesome. That's cool.

You sent me a Google Doc with, and I'm trying to remember, I should look at what it was, but the link wouldn't work this morning. I was going through your emails. Do you remember what it was that you put together for me? It might've been a while back. There were gender-altering photos of all of the head coaches at the time. And it was a...

Okay, smash or pass. It was a smash or pass deal. Okay. It was, yeah. Belichick and yeah, all of them. So that's probably... I'd be interested in seeing this, but it does say that- I'll see if I can fire it back up and send it to you again.

That'd be a great bit. But I'm very familiar with Google Drive and how you can lose your way in there. Yeah, yeah, there's a beast you have to tame. You have like seven Google Drives now. I just love that she hit the jackpot where she doesn't really have to work, and she's just like,

what NFL-related memes can I make today? Okay, so actually I made that while I was working. I was humble brag, really good at my job, so I would only be working for like four hours out of an eight or nine hour shift, so I would just, I would D around. But that was some of the stuff. It's the American way.

It is. Three hours of work on a nine hour salary. The other things I wanted to point out, just about last night at least, you didn't get to do it, but I know you've asked, you wanted to have a smoke with Jake. I did, I did. I would have done it too.

But he's, dry clean the suit, I respect that. Also Arboretum has a no smoking policy, so it was best we didn't. Even on your day? I know! We out those guys then? They were outside. It's too late.

Yeah, they were at least, I mean the whole thing's outside. I think outside the gate you're allowed to be, yeah. Yeah, maybe. I don't know if they're allowed to be, I don't care. You think, ah, cause no, nevermind. Unfortunately. Well I was gonna say, like he hates smoking. Yeah.

So it's not gonna happen. He doesn't even like vapes, man. I know. If smoking was as prevalent now as it was in the 80s, would it be able to be eradicated anymore? Pfft. Because everybody would be too... Because they would say that's liberal. Yeah, man.

That's liberal. It's a great question. Yeah, I couldn't answer that. Hey, thanks, man. Yeah, dude, whatever. Whatever you need. And I'll have you know, now this was for Jordan. Because I don't want to be like,

oh, this is always going to happen. But your mom actually offered us an appearance fee. And we turned it down. Said we're just going to come out there anyway. Thank you. Yeah. Did you seriously think we got paid? Yeah!

Fuck that, no. Well, okay, so also, so okay. No, she just, she did promise possible change. From her, right? From mom. Okay, yeah, I was gonna say, I mean, I think I've been very clear I'm after the mom here. This is a, yeah.

Maybe that guy thought y'all were horny for her mom. Maybe. Maybe that's it. Did she tell you? So you guys informed someone, the catering, that y'all weren't here, and they didn't know anything about this. She went up to her.

They were confused. They went up to her and said, your dummy friends are here? Oh. That's us. That was a good bet. It was fun, man. I enjoyed hanging out with you guys,

hanging out with Jordan. It was nice. So, hanging out with you guys, hanging out with Jordan. It was nice. So, okay, so you offered me an edible at my wedding and it respectfully declined. Yeah, I don't know. Is that in your game? No, not particularly. Okay.

I don't know, I like to have my wits about me, but I feel like I should return the favor. Jake, I got you something. Okay. So I respect that you should return the favor. Jake, I got you something. Okay. So I respect that you don't drink anymore. I find that incredibly admirable. So I got you an eight ball. Oh!

Just bring it. Boy, she's not joking. All right. I love it. I love it. Jordan loves bits. And yeah, so. I did also play the intro for my bridesmaids. That's so great. I got to, we have to get the video.

I didn't take any videos. What do you mean? That's what I asked yesterday and Jake made fun of me or Saturday night. He did. I'm like, Hey, did you guys video this? And he's like, did they video this in 2025? No, I just mean in general, everyone videos

their wedding, don't they? Yeah. I thought it was. We wanted a Videos of their wedding, don't they? Yeah. I thought it was. We wanted a video of it. We livestreamed it to the Discord. I don't know. We play a lot of video games. So everyone who couldn't make it, we.

You livestreamed it? We livestreamed it to the Discord. I need to be very clear about that. This is not on YouTube. This is not on Facebook. Our Discord. Our Discord? No, not your Discord.

Well. In general. In general. The world's Discord? Our Discord. You have a Discord. In general. In general. The world's Discord? Our Discord. You have a Discord. We have a Discord for our own little group. Yeah.

Like it's a OnlyFans type thing or what are we talking about here? Again, it's a horny. Yeah. Just a place for friends to chat. Do you wanna tell them what's in the fridge that you brought? Oh yeah.

Also everyone, since you guys didn't get to hang out much, I brought everyone a piece of bridal cake and the groomsman cake, red velvet and cinnamon vanilla. Oh, fantastic. So that's a good, yeah, got that. And then one other gift. So it's.

And you have not drank all your Lone Stars. I've got one left. My mom texted me and said you're drinking too much. It's like... Mom. Mom's been in the chat. Mom has been in the chat. Where is it? Okay, all right, okay.

Hi, Mom. Is Mom horny for Jake as well? I don't know. She actually is so... Would she cheat on... Is she married? She's married. Would she cheat on him just for a one night with Jake? It's not even... What is this cheating? It doesn't have to be cheating.

Would she just be an adult? Just a hall pass? Hall pass? Yeah. Passes, it's just life, man. Yeah, it's just things happen. I don't know. We get it.

Check the chat. I have to. So when I was a cocktail waitress when I was younger, I had two cops that came in. I was just trying to make, it was after their shift, I was trying to make some small contact with them or just chat, banter. I asked them what's the one ticket they would never write. One of them said, I'm never going to write a ticket for a seatbelt. That's your own personal thing. If you feel like you've got more control and you're okay with dying,

I'm not gonna write you a ticket for it. And the other cop said he was never gonna write a ticket for someone speeding under 20 miles an hour over the speed limit. That was my dude. Nice. That's y'all's dudes. Yeah.

Both y'all. Respect. So, traffic cop Blake, what is the one ticket you would never write? I mean, probably the speeding one. The seatbelt's also good. I like a seatbelt. I enjoy the seatbelt as well.

But. But the speeding. But I know Blake does not want to wear a seatbelt. I hit 106 coming here today. Nice. Nice. But you know, Porsche's. Anyway. You guys are not.

Ooh, Porsche. Well, you know. Porsche. Porsche. We can't call it a Anyway. You guys are not. Ooh, Porsche. Well, you know. Porsche. Porsche. We can't call it a Porsche. It's, well, I mean, if.

You're snooty like that. It's not snooty, it's proper pronunciation. Okay. Okay. It's not pronunciation? The mom can't choose between Dan and Jake. What do we have there? What is in that box?

I don't think the audio cord is long enough, so, or the head cord is long enough, so I just tossed it. As for Blake. Blake is opening a box. Blake is showing his approval with a smile. What do you think of Blake's mustache? You know what? I actually do.

Ha ha ha ha ha. Blake with a village people style cop hat and sock clack. My God, dude. Keep going, keep going. He definitely looks like a cop. with a village people style cop hat and sunclack. Oh my God, dude. Keep going, keep going. He definitely looks like a cop. But you gotta read the badge. What does the badge say? Got a badge to wear around his neck.

Special police. Special police. I love it. He's got sunglasses. Yes, he absolutely looks the part. Just with the mustache, it looked enough like it. Well, thank you for having us. You got a billy club. Well, thank you for having us.

As soon as you Reno 911, I had to. Have you ever gotten out of a ticket just for being hot? I don't think it was for being hot. I got out of a ticket because I was in college being an engineer. I was on my way to a women's engineering conference in Houston. I was running late and I was going pretty fast. I got a speeding ticket and I was telling him what I was doing and he let me go.

So I don't know if it was hot, I don't know if it was STEM related. He just believed in women and STEM. Yeah, it was so hot. This is all hot chicks don't understand what they're getting from being hot. They're like, oh, I just thought everybody that walks, when you walk into the bar,

somebody buys you a drink right away. That's part of the game, right? Well, I was, okay, so in college I was a prude. That's actually how, so that's how my husband and I met. First day of COVID that went up and I, okay. I had a drinking group, and we all had little nicknames, and my nickname, we gotta be really cool really quick.

My nickname was BBC, because my physical requirements for me to be attracted to a man were B, bald, B, buff, C, circumcised. So. Okay, that's a new one. I think I can go two of those at least. So when you're in college, there aren't a lot of bald men,

so I was just not interested. Is that a daddy issue thing? Why are we attracted to bald men? It's confidence. You beat Mother Nature to the punch line, and you knew that you were hotter than anything that, you know, you surpassed hair. You don't need hair to be hot.

Fans gonna jizz. I find that just being so incredibly attractive and confident. And yeah, so for all those mid 20s guys who are going bald, there are girls out there for you that'll think this is great. I've got to be able to lick a coin and stick it to your head. All right, well, I got to say one thing real quick before we go.

Blake, when we took our picture with her the other night, did you notice anything? No. Okay, just making sure. Because I've started doing- Was your hand hovering? Well, I kind of rubbed him. You rubbed Blake?

Yeah, and I've just started doing it now. I've done it a couple of times and I've taken photos with him and I can't do it to him anymore, but I just- Okay, I know you do the hover. I kind of like hover over, but then I just like let it fall. I did it to a listener the other day

and he was like, what the fuck was that? He's like, what the hell? Oh, you thought it was Blake? Oh, a guy, no. I told Blake, I gave you a little creep show and you didn't notice and I had to at least ask. Well, it's nice. It was nice.

I kind of caressed. Well, and because of your, you will usually hover over the female. Yeah. And so then I will be a little extra aggressive to make up for it. Yeah, you closed the gap there. Yeah.

Well, congrats, Jordan. It was a lot of fun. Thank you. I can't thank you guys enough for coming. What was your wedding night like? You finally had sex? For the first time. Yeah.

No, actually we didn't do it. Okay, cool. We were exhausted. Yeah. It was draining. But you know what? I'll put him to bed in that special way when I get home. Hey-o.

Happy Monday. Adios, mofo. We gotta go before this becomes a zoo! Thank you for watching my video. Subscribe and type for my name if you want to watch more of my videos. Poppin' up in blood is Roy Sandstone With those bedroom eyes that make the pennies fall He knows how to handle every baseball call Jared Sandler on the Tom's Zone, y'all J-A-R-E-D is so short S-A-N-D-L-E-R, so hot

Signing in the home base on the Tom's Zone show Jared Sandler's letting them know It's the Jared Sandler Show It's got a baseball tone Oh Are you new to Home Base on the Dumbstone show? Sheriff Sandler's letting them know The Jerry Sandler Show It's got a baseball tone