THE ED MYLETT SHOW - 10 Things to Stop Doing to Maximize Your Life

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

What If You Had One Week Left? In this emotional solo episode, I explore one of the most profound questions we can ask ourselves: What would you do if you had one week left to live? Drawing from my personal experience with Kobe Bryant the week before his tragic passing, I share the impactful lessons I learned about life, love, and the legacy we leave behind. Pain can travel through families for generations until someone decides to stop it. That someone could be you. We’ll explore how to confront the hardships and traumas that life throws our way, reminding you that while it may not be your fault, it is your responsibility to change the narrative. I’ll give you the tools to stop waiting for the perfect moment, to stop expecting it to be easy, and to start leading your life with purpose. Whether it's in your relationships, career, or personal growth, I want to push you to make the necessary changes now—before it's too late. Key takeaways from this episode: The importance of living with urgency and intention How to stop waiting for the perfect moment and start taking action Lessons from Kobe Bryant on love, family, and legacy Why stopping generational pain starts with you The power of self-accountability in overcoming obstacles This episode is all about facing the hard truths and embracing your responsibility to change the course of your life. What I learned from watching Kobe Bryant isn't just about success or hustle—it's about being present, loving deeply, and living fully, because you never know how much time you have left. If you had just one week left, who would you call, what would you fix, and what regrets would you erase? Don’t wait for pain to define you—choose to break the cycle and create a legacy you’re proud of. Let’s make sure that when it’s all said and done, you can say, "I maxed out my life." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down, growthday.com forward slash ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way the way he's asked me I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start he's got about five thousand ten thousand dollars worth of courses that are in there that come with the app also some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content and they're

on a regular basis like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app and I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're gonna get a free, tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also.

So go to growthday.com forward slash Ed. That's growthday.com forward slash Ed. This show is sponsored by Airbnb. So you guys know I travel a lot, and I to tell you, I've been having a hard time staying in hotels because frankly of the noise. So I've been staying at Airbnb's when I go and it's a much better experience. So the last time I'm staying in one, I'm like, wait a minute, this is a great deal for me, but it's a great deal for who owns this place.

And it occurred to me, I had to turn my homes into Airbnb's and now it's generating me revenue when I'm not there. Your home may be worth more than you think. Find out how much more at airbnb.ca. This is The Admirelent Show. Welcome back to the show everybody. So I'm so excited about today's topic because I get a chance to answer your questions. And one of the dominant ones has come in. I'm going to cover today. Before I do that, just real quick, thank you.

I just wanted to say thank you to all of you. The show's been exploding. It's growing like it's never has before. And that's because you share the episodes every single week and the interviews you've been sharing, but particularly my solo episodes here, like the one we're doing today um i'm just very grateful for that so thank you so much you know we're going to talk about today is pain and life and they're actually two separate things but they can become interconnected so there's some life lessons in today's show and there's some pain lessons in today's show you You know, pain will travel through a family

until someone decides it stops with them. And my prayer for you is that you're that person in your family. So, you know, I often say that I want you to become the one in your family, and for a lot of people, that means becoming successful or, you know, achieving your dreams, and it can mean that, and it does mean that. But most importantly is that generational traumas, generational curses, challenges stop with somebody.

Pain will continue to travel through a family until somebody stops it, until somebody gets something for their pain and changes things. That one person can change that family forever. And I just want you to know that I believe you're that person if pain has been traveling through your family or through your life. And by the way, what family doesn't have pain? What family doesn't have a little drama

or trauma from time to time? But some of us, it's more dramatic than others. And I'm not gonna get into my story again today. It's well-documented. If you don't know it, you can watch another episode. But I wanna tell you about one family that I was blessed to observe and get to know a little bit. And it's a story that I've not told very many times,

but I wanna share with you today. Most of you don't know this, but I was with Kobe Bryant the week before he passed away. The week before he and his daughter were tragically killed in that helicopter incident with several other precious human beings. So I was with Kobe that week before.

And let me tell you a little bit about that because I learned a lesson from Kobe Bryant that I'll never forget. Multiple lessons that day and a lesson in his passing. And I was excited because Kobe was getting ready to come on the podcast as well. And so I was doing a lot of preparation and learning about him. I ended up being around Kobe quite a bit because our daughters played volleyball together. And so a week before he passed away, it was a really interesting day. If you're a volleyball dad or any of you that had a daughter or son play volleyball, you

know these volleyball tournaments are gruelling. They're very, very long. And so if you've got a kid playing travel baseball or other sports like this, these weekends, they take everything from you. So my daughter's playing volleyball and this particular weekend, my son was playing a golf tournament. So my wife took my son to the golf tournament and I had my daughter all day. And these volleyball tournaments, we got there at about eight o'clock in the morning. And I'll just give you the spoiler alert.

We were the last match that ended at 10 30 PM that night. So I'm in a gym of screaming girls playing volleyball for over 12 hours. It ended up being almost 14 hours. And for most of the dads, they couldn't take it. And I'll tell you this story because it's match after match, then there's big breaks in between, but I'm not sure to imagine there's 30 matches going on at any given time inside an arena. So there's screaming, yelling, fans cheering, diving on the floor, shoes creaking, ball hitting the floor, you know, booze and cheers.

And then all the commotion of hundreds and hundreds, probably thousands of people in this gym talking and system noise fest. And if you're an introvert like me and like Kobe, these things were tough. And plus a fact, I mean, obviously Kobe was super well known. I've got some notoriety. So then you've got, you know, that happening. So Kobe obviously more than me. So it's just, it's a drain, you know, you're really tired.

And so much so that by that evening, the last match that started at 9.30, that ended at 10.30, by the end of the match, there ended up only being two dads in the gym. There were other dads there, but they had left with their daughters. It was just a really interesting moment that God gave me. So we were on one end of the court, my daughter played on another end of the team. And I ended up looking, my daughter was getting her stuff together and I ended up looking across and Kobe was at the other end of the gym. And so for some reason that night my eyes just caught him and I watched him and he was pretty far away. And I watched him as his daughter was getting her stuff together, he was rubbing her back as she was

picking up her stuff and putting it in the bag. And then she grabbed her stuff in the bag and I watched him hug her and he had his little one, his baby in his other arm and his left arm. I'll never forget it, he had a black and white sweat suit on and it said, mom, but on the back. And I'll never forget this. I watched him walk out of the gym that night with his two daughters, the one in his arm and his other daughter that he had his arm around walking out of the gym. And I saw it, we were the only two dads left at that late at night. And I remember thinking to myself, I need to hug Bellamore. I need to be more physically affectionate. I saw him do this. I thought, what a wonderful daddy he is and how good he is to those

little girls and affectionate with them. I also just admired that he had stayed that long and loved his daughter enough to stay that long. And I watched Kobe walk out of the gym that night. I've never forgot that lesson. I've become much more affectionate with Bella. I didn't hug her enough before that. And I'm grateful for that example that I saw. I remember that weekend when he walked out of there and it was just the next weekend that he passed away. And when I heard the news of him passing, I couldn't stop but think about how I had seen him walk out of the gym with his two girls. It just was this image, my last image of him. And for some reason I watched him that night.

I mean there's been a bunch of times where we've been in the same gym. I didn't watch him walk out. He certainly didn't watch me walk out. I didn't watch other people walk out. For some reason, I think it's because we were the last two left and I was so struck by his affection for his daughters that I watched him walk all the way out. Almost like to see if he would stay with his arm around his other daughter, I don't know.

And I watched it. And then he was gone a week later. And I wonder to myself, what if someone whispered to Kobe when he got in the car that night with his daughters, Kobe, you have one week left to live. One more week, Kobe, make sure you tell him you love him. Make sure you hug him a bunch. Make sure you get everything in line. One

week, Kobe. What would he have done? Who would he have called? What would he have fixed? What would he have reminisced about? Well, what do you thought about? And what about the night before that helicopter, if someone was, Kobe, you have one day left to live. I kept thinking these thoughts and picturing him with these two precious girls of his. Kobe, you have one day, Kobe, one day. I promise you that as young as he was

and as successful as he was in and out of basketball, Kobe was an incredibly successful investor, successful in the music and movie business. I promise you probably the last thing on his mind was that he had one day left. Probably the last thing on your mind is that, Kobe, you have one more day. Who would he have spent the time with? What would he have thought about? Who would he have called? Who would have been close to him? What would have mattered with the NBA championships have mattered?

Really? I have a feeling that the trophies wouldn't have mattered. I don't think he would have said, bring me my trophies. I think he would have said, bring me my family. Let me call my dad. If I got anything to fix with them, let me fix it. bring me my family. Let me call my dad. If I got anything to fix with them, let me fix it. Bring me my family. Bring me my babies.

Bring me my wife. Bring me my closest friends. Wouldn't say bring me my money. Bring me my cars. Bring me my MVP's. Bring me my championships. I don't think that's what he would have had brought to him. And what about an hour before when he was driving that day,

Kobe, you have one hour. They got on the helicopter, Kobe, you have 20 minutes. What would matter in those moments? What would matter? I tell you that story and my thoughts about it for two reasons. One, just to honor him and to let you know that I learned something very special from watching him. Most of the great lessons in life are caught, not taught.

He didn't say a word, but I watched it and it made an impact on me. His passing made an impact on me, not because I was a fan, but because I'm a man. I'm a human being. I'm a dad. I'm watching that. Kobe, you have 20 minutes left. Who would he have called? What would have mattered to him?

And I say that to ask you this week, if you had one week left, what would you do? What would you think about? Who would you call? What would you regret? What would you want to fix? And why not just do it now? If you had one more day left, what would you do with that one more day? Who would be around?

This immediately tells you who matters and who doesn't. What would you worry about? Would you worry about anything? Because you can't take your problems and your worries and your fears with you. Who would you fix something with that you need to? Who would you express something to that's gone unexpressed? What pain that's traveling through you or your family would you eradicate and fix if you could? that's traveling through you or your family, would you eradicate and fix if you could? And so right now, you probably don't just have one more week, but you might. You may not just have one more day. I have a very good friend who's in the personal development space that many of us knew very well named John Ruland. John's a young man in his forties, wonderful human being, one of the most generous giving people in our space. And I got a message

last week that said, John passed away on vacation. I said, what? And the phone started to confirm it. I promise you that when John went on that vacation with his family, he wasn't thinking, I have one more day. The hour before he passed, I guarantee you he wasn't thinking, I have one more hour. God bless him. He was such a good man. I'm sure his children weren't thinking, I have one more day with daddy, his precious wife. I have one more hour with daddy. We don't know. But in your case, what would matter to you? Who would you call? What would you fix? These things that happened to you when you were young, if they were traumatic, It's not your fault. Let me say it to you again It's not your fault

It's not your fault but it is your responsibility because you're most qualified to eradicate that pain from your family and To change it forever. You're most qualified to help those that you used to be that have gone through their own type of pain You're most qualified to help those that you used to be that have gone through their own type of pain their own type of it's so Fascinating to me that I got that lesson from Kobe Bryant all the lessons you could get right of toughness competitiveness The black mamba mentality, you know Hustle work ethic note just famous for his early morning workouts. And that's not what I got from. I didn't get any of that. I got how to be a better dad. You don't know what your example is.

You don't know that becoming successful in one area, how you can affect people in other areas of their lives. Isn't that incredible? I already do work hard. I already am competitive. I already am intense. I already have a mentality. I enjoy.

I didn't learn any of that from Kobe Bryant. I'm inspired by what his example was, but I didn't learn any of that from him. He taught me about being a dad and he didn't say a word. It was his presence. He was at every damn game. He coached basketball, his other daughter that he passed with. That's what I saw. I saw the affection. I got the lesson. He stayed late. He came early for his daughter in the arena that night. Isn't that amazing? That's what I got from the great Kobe Bryant. But I also got this feeling of what if I had one week left?

Who would matter? And it's crystallized my life a lot more. I'm really a little bit different since that experience. I can't tell you that I've completely changed or that I even needed to be dramatically changed, but it affected me and it's why I'm sharing it with you. I want it to affect you. I want you to picture being in that gym. Like I was, I want you to picture one week left in your life.

One hour left, one day left. Who matters to you? If there's something to fix, don't wait. So silly, don't wait. So whatever you're going through right now, I want to say something to you. You can handle it. You got this. It's not that overwhelming. You and God are bigger than this. So what do you got to do to change your life? What are some tips? I'm just gonna give you some things not to do this week. Every week I come on here and I say, do this, do this, this could help, this could help,

here's an idea, here's a suggestion, here's something that worked for me. And again, I say all the things I say and teach all the things I teach out of mistakes I've made, out of lessons I've learned. I'm going through this life just like you are, trying to get better, trying to learn, trying to improve, trying to quit making the same mistakes, trying to be happier, trying to be more influential, trying to be more successful, trying to be a better friend, a better father, husband, whatever it is in my life, a son, a brother. So this week just here's a few things to stop doing. Okay?

Number one, stop speaking negatively about yourself. Stop it. Words have power. You gotta stop doing it. And by the way, I'm going to always tell you where I make mistakes. This is something I do. I love to be self-deprecating and make fun of myself. One of the reasons I do it is I think it helps people become comfortable with you, particularly if you've become a little bit successful or whatever, you know, you're well known. I think when you poke fun at yourself, people are more comfortable in your presence.

And I also just think some of these things about myself, but I've taken it to an extreme too much. I'm constantly talking about how I'm not smart or I'm not good looking or my new thing is I always say I'm old, I'm old, I'm old. And finally, friends of mine say, would you stop saying you're old? And then I've been sick. I've had some significant health issues and they're like, stop talking about dying. Stop saying you're not going to be here. Stop it. And so I'm going to say to you, stop speaking negatively about yourself. Words matter. They have power. They have influence. They shape your life. Words have a vibrational frequency to them. Truth vibrates at the highest frequency, by the way. Truth when it's spoken, but negative words have a negative vibrational frequency and will affect your success.

It will affect your lack of being able to attract the right things into your life, and you will attract things to confirm those negative things you say. Their thoughts are magnets. Words are magnets. They attract to them that which they say and feel and vibrate as. Stop speaking negatively about yourself. Dallas, I bet in 40 states actually. I mean just everywhere. Obviously I travel a ton and while I'm away I host my home on Airbnb. It's a great way for me to make extra income and I love that I get to share my home with other people. Most people don't realize their space could also be an Airbnb. It's super flexible

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It shows that faith is not a significant role in your life that you don't have faith things are gonna get better And again, I'm speaking to me. I have been a worrier most of my life And the only way I've gotten out of that worry and changed it and I still struggle with it to some extent as I remember When I'm worrying I am NOT living in faith I'm not living a gratitude and I'm especially not living in faith. I Doesn't believe it. I mean if I shouldn't be worrying if God's got his hand on my life. I shouldn't be worrying if he's got me in the palm of his hand. I shouldn't be worried if I'm favored. And so stop worrying. That's number two. Three, stop waiting for somebody

else to save you. Stop it. The government's not going to save you. This is such a crazy time for me in the election. I'm watching people say, I can't wait to hear what they're going to say to change my life. Has any politician ever changed your life? Any of them, even your favorites. You loved Reagan, you loved Obama, you loved Trump. Did any of them really change your life? Of course not, because politicians don't change your lives. Other people don't change your lives. Collaborating with other people can change your life, but stop waiting for somebody to save you. Someone's not going to come along and save you. You're going to have to save yourself. You're going to have to pick yourself up. You're going to have to get to work. You're going to have to take total accountability and responsibility. You have to stop waiting for your boss, your business partner, your mentor, your coach, your politician, your dad, your mom. They're not going to save you. Okay? You're're gonna save you. Stop waiting for somebody to save you. You'll be waiting to that very end with one more day

and you'll look back and go, wait a minute, I was supposed to save me the whole time? And I'm talking about saving you in your life. I'm not talking about getting saved by the way. That's a different story altogether. Number four, stop expecting it to be easy. Stop it. I'm gonna tell you right now,

success is harder than you think. I watched this great interview with this guy that I think he found, I forget what he found, he found this company that I'm impressed with. And they said, well, what would you say to yourself if you had to go all the way back at the beginning, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently? And he thought about it for a minute and he says, I probably wouldn't do it. It was that hard. I probably wouldn't do it. And I actually called some of my very successful entrepreneur friends. I said, is this not true? I'm glad I didn't know how hard it was going to be because if I did, I probably would not have done it.

The truth of the matter is it's not going to be easy. It's going to be harder than you think it's hard. Trust me. It's going to be more difficult than you think. You're going to have massive ups and huge downs. People are going to let you down. Why not just accept that in the very beginning and have no expectation of this thing being easy? Life is not easy, success is not easy. And it's difficult in ways that you will not even imagine when you get there. It's mentally draining, emotionally draining.

It can be financially draining. You're gonna have to resist the temptation to not believe in people because so many are gonna let you down. I'm just being your friend right now and telling you, and it's totally worth it. It's totally worth it, but it is going to be so difficult. It's going to take longer than you think it's going to take.

You're going to have stuff happen that you cannot believe is happening. You're literally going to have days ago. This isn't really happening. You have a lot of those days. John Maxwell likes to say that a great leader is probably not going to have two good days in a row. Not for a long time. So I'm here to tell you, stop thinking it's going to be easy. Just expect it to be difficult. So when it comes along, you're like, I was looking for you. Glad you showed up. I've been waiting for you to show up. And then

when that shows up, another one's gonna be like, well, that doesn't sound very appealing to me. It's not. But listen, winning is appealing. Change is appealing. Pain stopping in your family forever is appealing. Poverty never being in your family again is awesome. Totally worth it. Making the dreams come true for your family and the people you love, awesome. Getting the end of your life and being proud of yourself, getting the end of your life and going, man, I did it. I maxed out my life is It's worth it. Every damn time. But it is not going to be easy. I'm telling you, it will be difficult. So stop expecting it. 5. Stop expecting support. You're probably not going to get it. I'm being your friend right now.

I need the support of my spouse, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my parents, my boss, my mentor. Stop it. They're probably not going to support you. Right? If you're waiting around for that, it's going to be a long wait and you don't need it anyway. That's a fallacy. Aren't you motivated enough and inspired enough or you need someone else to fill you with inspiration and motivation? If that's going to get you off your game and your focus, just wait till the rejection comes. Just wait till the setback, just wait till you've climbed up to the middle of the ladder. You're trying to get at, and you get knocked all the way back down to the bottom and you've got to climb back up again from the very beginning, three or four or five years after you're into it.

So I'm going to be clear with you. I'm trying not to speak negatively about myself. I am trying not to worry and be more faithful. I am waiting around for nobody to save me. I do not expect it to be easy. And I'm not looking for support. These are all things that our culture says to us. I need your support. Why? What's that going to actually do? Is it going to make get you to make more phone calls going to get you to get more business? No, but it'll sustain me. Well, maybe it won't be there. And if you need that, and I'm telling you, you're probably not going to get you to get more business? No, but it'll sustain me. Well, maybe it won't be there. And if you need that, and I'm telling you you're probably not

going to get it, you better negotiate that out of the price right now. I'm here as your friend and your coach and a mentor and someone who totally believes in you that you were born to do something great with your life. Like, I don't know how often I have to tell you, but I believe you were born to do something great with your life. And let me just tell you something. I believe in you enough to tell you the truth. You're not gonna get this on a lot of podcasts. But I'm gonna tell you right now, you're probably not gonna get people's support. Maybe never. In fact, probably after you win, they're gonna start talking even worse about you.

Just accept it. I'm giving you the real love today of everybody. The real truth. Okay? Don't be waiting for support. Don't be waiting for somebody to say to you, don't expect it to be easy, stop worrying and stop talking negatively about yourself. These are all things to stop doing. You ready for this one? Number six, stop waiting for the right moment. Stop waiting. The best time is almost always now. Stop waiting for the right moment. Well, once the kids are out of the house then I'm going. Well, once I get in shape, well once once I get this money together, well, once I feel like this, once I get that coach, once this thing clicks, once the thing settled down in my relationship.

Listen, it's never going to be the right time. It's just never going to be the right time. If everybody that's successful waited for the right time, there'd be very few successful people because it just almost never shows up. Timing is important in life. It really is and most of the time the right time is now. Get started because it's going to take a while. Get started because it's going to be tough. Get started so you can get your first rejection. Some of you are listening to this and you've been getting started for a long time and you've had a lot of rejection. Get up. Get up. You can't be laying there for your family. I know it's hard. I know you got halfway up the ladder and you got knocked back down to the bottom. Maybe you got three-quarters the way up the ladder.

I know it. And by the way, those people are the first that'll tell you, he's right. It ain't easy. Nobody's gonna support you. And there's never a right moment. If you've been knocked down, you gotta get up, man. You gotta get up, sister. Got to get up right now. When we're done, you get up and take an action. You get up and start over. Get up. The right time is right now. Just get it moving again, right? Let's start. Look, it's gonna take a while. It's gonna be difficult. Let's just lean in. Let's just go, okay? Don't wait for the right moment.

Seven, stop treating yourself so poorly. You treat everybody else so well, don't you? You're so kind, you give everybody else a bunch of grace, but you don't give it to yourself. You give kindness and generosity and belief and love to everybody else, and you never give yourself any. Stop being so mean to yourself. Stop. Stop treating yourself so poorly.

Here's what I found out. If you're gonna win for your family, you have to treat yourself really well. You have to treat yourself really well. Stop being so hard on yourself. Stop being so mean. Give yourself some grace. Give yourself so mean. Give yourself some grace. Give yourself some belief.

Give yourself some love. Like you extend to people that you don't even know very well. Like you extend to people that have hurt you. You are kinder, aren't you, to people that have hurt you than you are to yourself. You're kinder to people that use you and take advantage of you than you are to you stop doing that stop

it it's gonna kill your dream it's gonna kill you it's gonna kill your spirit please stop number eight another thing to stop doing stop shrinking to make other people around you comfortable you shrinking is not gonna make their dreams bigger you shrinking and playing small is not going to make them happier. Now, you growing and getting better and succeeding may make them a little bit uncomfortable. But stop shrinking your vision, your dreams, because of the small minds and small spirits of the people who are around you that may even love you. I've watched more people lose their dream and get their dreams stolen and killed because of the small minds and small spirits

and small vision of the people around them. And they shrink to conform to fit in with these small people around them. You gotta stop it. Right now, you're different than them. That doesn't make them bad and it doesn't make you better, but you're different and different is good. You're a little bit weird.

You're kind of crazy. Remember this weird, rich, normal, poor. And I don't mean rich just in money. I mean in spirit, in joy, in emotions, in memories, in contribution, a rich life comes from a kind of crazy person comes from a weirdo. And normal life is a poor life. Poor in emotion, poor financially, poor in memories, poor in contribution. And they're going to get to the end of their life and that pain will still be in their family.

Not in your life. Stop shrinking to make these people comfortable. So I get asked all the time, how did I get so much attention on social media, in my businesses, email lists, etc. I can tell you straight up, it's been Constant Contact. If you don't know who Constant Contact is, you need to know about these guys. Constant Contact's award-winning marketing platform has helped millions of small businesses, mine being one of them, stand out, stay on top of mine and

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Constant contact helping the small stand tall constantcontact.com Number nine to stop doing stop looking for security and certainty It doesn't exist The one thing that's for sure is change. When you try to cling to security all the time and keep things close to the best, hold on to everything you've got. Protection mode, certainty mode, it's the mode where you'll get hit the hardest. Stop looking for security, stop looking for certainty.

It's probably not going to exist while you're pursuing your dream. So just accept that. It's going to be uncertain. It's going to be a little bit unstable. There's not going to be a whole bunch of security in your life. I don't think you can have security and certainty and success. I don't think you can have security and certainty. I don't think you can steal second base while your foot's still on first. You got to lead off. You got to lead off the base and take a risk. You have to do that. You can't get to second with your foot on first, you got to lead off. You got to lead off the base and take a risk. You have to do that. You can't get to second with your foot on first. You're trying to be safe and not get tagged out. You're going to stay on first base all your life. The only way we get home is we got to

get moving. We got to lead off. We got to take some risks. Abandon this idea of security. I'm giving you all the stuff that I just know you need to do. Number 10, stop letting other self-help gurus tell you that everything's perfect as you are. You're awesome. You're amazing. And you know you can be better. Imagine having your child come home who you know could get A's or B's and they're getting D's and go, you're perfect as you are. They misbehave, you know, they mouth off to you. They, they don't do their chores, whatever it is. You go, you're perfect as you are. There's a point where if you believe in somebody, you say, no, no, no, I love you.

But you can be better. And the reason you follow anybody in personal development or self-help is there's this part of you that wants to grow, that wants to be now the easy way to get you to like somebody, to feel good is from just to you're amazing as you are. Well there's probably lots of things about you that are incredibly amazing. Right. But there are areas that aren't and that's called being human. Now the only reason that I would tell you you're perfect as you are is I don't have

any answers for you. But I do have answers for you. And the answer is you got to grow. You got to face it. You got to take responsibility. You got to change. You got to stop speaking negatively. You got to stop worrying. You got to stop waiting for somebody to save you. You got to stop expecting it to be easy. You got to stop looking for support everywhere. You got to stop waiting for the right moment. You got to stop treating yourself so poorly. You got to stop shrinking to your dreams. You got to

stop looking for security and then you got to face it and go I want to get better. I want to improve. I want to grow. Self-love doesn't mean accepting everything about yourself. Self-love says, I love myself enough to be honest. Like a little while ago, I gained a little bit of weight, right? Just a little. I think I said, Oh, I said, you know what? I'm a fat ass right now. I need to get in shape. I gave myself the real medicine. I was in, I was in, Oh, I put on a couple of pounds. That's not enough. No, I was like, Hey man, I'm a fat ass right now. I need to get in shape. I gave myself the real medicine I wasn't I was in oh, I put on a couple palms. That's not enough. No, I was like, hey man I'm fat ass. I gotta change this And it change it. I called it what it was and I let the pain affect me. I wanted to move away from that pain

You know what and I call myself out and I want friends who call me out I want friends who love me enough that will challenge me on my BS. I want friends to go, hey, I love you, but I don't accept this about you. You can get better at this. Stop gossiping. Do this. Do this behavior. Hey man, you were better at this before.

Hey sister, I know you're capable of more. That's real love. That's why you love your kids that way if you have kids. You would never just say, oh, you might say you're amazing, but I think one of the things in our culture today is we don't tell our kids. Hey, you're I love you You're incredible, but you need to improve at this. Stop making these excuses Life's not gonna be easy Right. Not everybody's always gonna support you you have to step up and make things happen in your life

And so stop listening to people who just confirm your weaknesses, who placate you, who appease the things that you really want to grow in your life, who confirm the worst parts of you. Don't let them confirm those things about you. You're capable of more. I really believe in you because I know you're the son or daughter of the king of kings. You're capable of more and that's a high standard know you're the son or daughter of the king of kings. You're capable of more and that's a high standard and you're going to make mistakes. That's why you shouldn't treat yourself so bad and don't talk so bad about yourself. But at the same time, take responsibility and know I believe in you.

I believe in you enough as your virtual friend here to say, hey, not everything is perfect, right? You got to change some stuff and you know it and I know it and let's do it together because you're capable of it. And I think those are the things you need to stop doing in order for the pain to stop traveling for your family and to change your family forever. It's your responsibility and I just have to tell you that you'll find a way. You're built for this. You're capable. It's just a matter of time if you stop doing these things and you make the decisions we talked about earlier. There's a little boy at McKinley when I worked there. Most of you know, I've talked about another podcast. My real main job was I worked at

McKinley Home for Boys. Sorry. It makes me, that part of my life changed my life forever. And there was a young man there, well, this was so many years ago, I'm not going to say his name, I almost said his name. He had been molested by his uncle and sexually abused also by his father. And so he was nine. You know, I had learned about his story and I had got to know him by his father. And so he was nine. You know, I had learned about his story and I had got to know him by being there. You know, I took these boys to school every day.

I was there on Christmas day when they'd opened their present, one present. I took them trick or treating. I was there when they went to the dance. If they got rejected or got a chance to have a dance or they were like my sons. Almost said his name again, just precious boy. He's become a good man.

And I remember he and I were walking out of his baseball practice. I had gone to get him at baseball practice and we were walking back to McKinley's campus. And I said, you know, man, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. He says, he says, what? Penny? I said, none of this is your fault." He says, he says, what? Penny? I said, none of this is your fault. Do you hear me?

And I leaned in. I said, hey, I love you. It's not your fault. He said, it isn't? I said, no, it's not your fault. But you are responsible for your life. You're responsible. And so you need to start treating these kids back at the house better.

It's not your fault. And it's also not an excuse. You got to stop. You got to treat these boys better. You need to be the example. And he told me we were walking back. He goes, you know, I want to be the example. And he told me we were walking back, he goes, you know, I want to be like you. I want to be like you. And I said, Hey man, there's a bunch of things

about me you don't want to be like, but I appreciate that. And I need you to be a leader. It's not your fault, but you are responsible for your life. And I really believe that was a pivotal conversation in his life and mine. In his, all I know is he's turned out to be an incredible young man. Actually, middle-aged man now almost. He's got a great career and a wonderful family, and I'm very proud of him. in my case, I realized in that moment that I had a responsibility to be an example, to try to be better, to try to improve that.

Sorry, it makes me emotional. That more eyes are watching you than you realize. And that I had to stop making excuses for myself and my life. And I'm pretty glad I did that. And in your case, hopefully just sharing that story with you and the stories I've told you today, give you a little bit added incentive

to know more people are watching than you think. And when you become successful, they're really going to be watching. Let them underestimate you right now. Maybe they don't see you coming. Maybe you're you right now. Maybe they don't see you coming. Maybe you're invisible to them. Maybe they don't think you're a threat. But I can promise you, if you stop doing the things we talked about today and you start

doing the stuff I shared with you, you'll be an example in ways you can't imagine, just like Kobe was for me. In ways I guarantee you, for most people, Kobe's the MVP, mama mentality, competitor, champion, all that stuff's great. I'm a better dad. I'm a better dad. And on those last days of my life, whenever they are, I want to be able to look back and go, I gave it my best.

I maxed out my life. I stopped doing the things to hurt myself. I tried to grow and get better. And ever since me and that young man had that conversation that day, I've been on fire with trying to get better and be a better person. And I screw up all the time. But I'm really glad we had that conversation. And I'll thank him.

I know he's watching today. Hey, I hope you're glad we had this conversation today. I hope it moved you a little bit. Hope it shifted your thinking. Maybe got to you emotionally a little bit. And maybe you'll want to share it with somebody that you care about. You'll find a way. You're bigger than whatever you're going through you and God are and you're gonna do something great with your life because

you were born to. Alright, God bless you everybody. Max out. I'll talk with you next week. This is The Ed Myron Show.