THE ED MYLETT SHOW - 3 Rules To Master Self Control | Ed Mylett

Episode Date: November 16, 2024

Mastering Self-Control: 3 Rules You Need Today! Ever feel like your goals are within reach, but self-discipline keeps slipping away? In this episode, I’ve brought together some of the most powerful voices in personal development—Eric Thomas, Monica Aldama, Tim Grover, Ben Newman, Ryan Holiday, and Sam Acho—to tackle the fundamental rules for self-control. Self-discipline isn’t something you’re born with; it’s a skill you build daily. So together, we’re laying out three game-changing rules to help you focus, stay consistent, and reach the next level. First, I share a rule that transformed my productivity: identifying and eliminating “discipline stealers.” Whether it’s getting lost in sports highlights or scrolling on social media, these little distractions drain our focus and stop us from moving forward. When you understand what’s stealing your focus, you can cut it out and start making real progress. Eric Thomas digs into the power of “getting real” with yourself and committing to self-discipline. He shares how he had to face his own habits head-on to become the success he is today. Ben Newman talks about sacrifice and why real discipline often means choosing the harder path when the easy one is right in front of you. Tim Grover breaks down the mindset that made legends like Kobe and Michael the best in the world—the relentless pursuit of self-mastery and mental toughness. The next rule is about making discipline a habit by scheduling your priorities. From the outside, it might look like I’ve got ironclad self-discipline, but the truth is, I’ve built routines that keep me focused and performing at my best. Monica Aldama talks about her experience coaching college athletes and the importance of structure and accountability in keeping them focused on their goals. Sam Acho emphasizes that discipline isn’t just about scheduling work; it’s about making time for relationships and personal growth too. Finally, it’s all about keeping the promises you make to yourself. Ryan Holiday shares insights on how small, consistent actions are the foundation of self-mastery. Start with keeping small promises—whether it’s completing your morning workout or shutting off distractions at work—and let those victories build up your self-control over time. Key Takeaways: - Identify Your Distractions: Recognize and eliminate the things that drain your focus, so you stay on track. - Schedule Your Priorities: Treat self-discipline like a muscle and build routines that make high performance natural. - Keep Promises to Yourself: Start with small promises and let them grow into powerful habits of self-control. This episode is your roadmap for developing self-discipline that sticks. If you’re ready to cut out distractions, build routines that support your goals, and stay true to your vision, these three rules—and the wisdom from these guests—will set you up for success. Take action on these rules, learn from these legends, and start unlocking your full potential with the discipline to achieve your biggest dreams! Thank you for watching this video—Please Share it and get the word out! What part of this video resonated with you the most? Comment below! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Rushard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward slash ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top

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I'm not gonna say that. Say it. All right. Let's save Christmas. There it is gonna say that. Say it. All right. Let's save Christmas. There it is. Only in theaters November 15th. This is The Ed Mylet Show. Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show.

Be sure to follow The Ed Mylet Show on Apple and Spotify. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. So let's take a look at how do we expand our capacity? How do we increase our self-discipline? For me, and what I would recommend for you, is that it starts out by taking an honest look and audit at the things that take away from our self-disciplines. What are the things that rob you, that steal you from your disciplines? So in my case, for example, I'll give you some things that rob me of my disciplines, that take my focus away, take my attention away, that make it more easy to do than the things I need to do.

For me, some of it's television. And in my own case, it is that. Like, I really do enjoy Netflix. I'll get captivated. When I wake up in the morning, one of the things I used to do is I would do a little bit of a morning routine, but then I'd find myself flipping Sports Center on. A lot of the guys can probably relate to that, or you flip on one of the morning TV shows. All of a sudden, I've lost 30, 40 minutes into this abyss of things that really don't matter at that time.

It's funny, my wife would say, haven't you already watched these highlights last night? You're watching the same exact highlights again the next morning, and I'm like, she's totally right. So for me, it's been sports, it's been Netflix, it's been watching sports on television. This robs me of my self disciplines. Another thing for me is worry.

Believe it or not, the emotion of worry or the emotion of fear steals my self discipline because I'm captivated in a problem that really hasn't even existed yet, probably won't exist, but I've given my attention and my energy off the task at hand. See, there's this fallacy. I've had people on my show that have taught this

that you can multitask. The truth is there's really no such thing as multitasking. Your brain can only hold one process and one thought at one time. And so this idea that you can do three things at once, like I'll have the TV on in the background, but I'm gonna write an effective chapter of my book. That is not true.

That TV on in the background steals some of your self-discipline from you. For you, some of you, it might be that it's a worry addiction. It might be addiction to a relationship, but these are the things you have to make a list of the things. For me, in a given day, what takes my self-discipline from me is worry, fear, and the process of watching screens, fear and the process of watching screens, watching screens, scrolling through Instagram, scrolling through TikTok, watching YouTube, watching sports on television.

So I've made lists of things that are my self-disciplined Steelers and I haven't eliminated them, but I've reduced them and I schedule them in non-productive times. So it's not that I can't watch Sports Center. It's not that I can't scroll TikTok or Instagram. I can do that. But I have to schedule it in times that don't take away

from moving the needle. You've got to do moving the needle activities in your life. The most successful people do the highest impact things possible at any given moment or any given day. And the people that lose or that produce subpar results or average results, they still work very hard, but they don't do the needle moving things. So in my fitness, for example, one of the needle moving things is drinking water. That's a self-discipline that is required of me to stay in my peak physical state in every given

day. I'm going to show you in a minute how I make sure I do that. And then I eliminate and I make a list of the things that take that away from me. One of the other things is I have to do breath work. I have to control my breathing. I love yoga now. I'm doing a lot of yoga and I have had to, what is it that eliminates that for me? One, it's getting up too late. Two, it's turning on that television and watching sports. So I've made lists of the things that robbed me of my disciplines. The second thing in self-discipline is this, show me your schedule, show me your day timer, and I will show you your life. If you show me your schedule today and what you do consistently and again, what you have scheduled, because what you schedule is a priority. Okay. So if you show me your schedule, I will show you your life a year to three years from now, based on today's schedule.

So second thing is self-discipline is scheduling the things that matter, literally putting them in and having a time for them scheduled on a regular basis. This may seem trivial, but it's not because there are things I need self-discipline for me. One of the areas is like my personal friendships and relationships, even with my own family. And so for me, if I'm not careful, I won't have the self-discipline to make sure those aren't just maintained, but that they're growing and evolving in a way that's beautiful, that those people deserve in my life. And although this may sound orchestrated, I schedule those things that that schedule makes me look like I've got self-discipline.

Okay. But truthfully, it's just scheduled. So I have things in my calendar that says text Bella call Max call mom. I have scheduled these things in my calendar. When I'm in my schedule, I will do the things that are in there. So a lot of times we just schedule our appointments, don't we? We just have appointments and, don't we? We just have appointments. And that's all we have an account or at the end of the day,

I didn't make my contacts. I didn't tell the people that I love that I love them. I didn't do the amount of emails I was supposed to do. I didn't take the time to write the chapter of my book. I didn't craft my social media captions. Things need to be scheduled. That's where self-discipline comes from. And then the third thing is I've built the habit of keeping the promises that I make to myself. The process of self-discipline

is like a muscle that you can grow. And so I think the mistake many people make is they start with these huge things that they think require self-discipline. And unless they do these huge things, they lack it. Whereas I believe you start in the micro, you start small in life, and that's what builds the real discipline. So this may sound crazy, but I have eliminated and written down the things that take my self-discipline away. I have scheduled the things that make me look like I have self-discipline. And then third, I start with the small promises I can keep to myself. And then third, I start with the small promises I can keep to myself. And that's to this day, 25 years later on this journey, 35 years later on this journey, I still schedule things. I still do little things that create momentum because momentum, as I've said before, is a magnifier.

Momentum can make an average ordinary person like me produce superhuman results. So I create what might be considered artificial momentum every single day. So let me give you an example of that. I make my bed every single day. I've been doing that for many, many years. That seems insignificant, right? Because I could pay somebody to make my bed every single day. That's not why I do it. I do it because it starts my day with discipline and it's something that I can control and I can maintain. I have a routine that I do, whatever your routine might be for me, it could be the cold plunge or my prayer time or my meditation time, my

stretching, my scripture reading. I do these things early in my day. These are promises that I can make to myself that create this identity of a self-disciplined person when the truth is I am not one. I have not been one, but I have created an identity of a self-disciplined person when the truth is I am not one. I have not been one, but I have created an identity of a self-disciplined person. Let me give you another one. I lay my clothes out the night before for the following day. I do this whether I'm staying in a hotel room or whether I'm staying at my own house.

I know that sounds insignificant. It is extremely significant because now I've done something that I told myself I was going to do and it's done. And when I wake up in the morning, I'm in autopilot mode. So these small things, the second thing I do, the third thing I do, I have a big, a gallon of water that I pour the night before. And when I get up, I drink half of that water.

It doesn't matter if you drink 10% of it, but it's something to start my day. Woo, self-discipline. I've done it. When I point my mind as a weapon at the small things in my life and I start stacking those up that I do over and over and over again, now the medium sized tasks are disciplined and the big ones are disciplined. And so I'm going to tell you that I don't think anyone has natural discipline. They build structures around them. They build systems around them. They schedule them and they eliminate the things that take from it. And over time, they build this identity where they seem like they're incredibly disciplined people.

Remember this for a second. Your brain is always trying to conserve energy. It's always trying to conserve energy. It's trying to build a habit. It is trying to do this so that it doesn't have to work to think. And so the more you do these little things, your brain wants to continue to do them. It's not just a muscle, it's how the brain functions. Because now that it's just stuff that you do every single day, it doesn't have to think about it anymore. And under pressure in life, we act reflexively. about it anymore. And under pressure in life, we act reflexively. Under pressure, we act reflexively. So if your reflex is to have these habits that serve you, your life becomes

very easy. It also frees your brain up to be much more creative and innovative and energized and aware than people who don't have discipline. See, the benefit of discipline and self-discipline is not just that you get these things done, it's that your brain's not having to work so darn hard. See, when you don't have self-discipline, when you don't have things you do early in your day, when you don't keep promises to yourself, when you don't schedule the things, right?

When you don't do those things, when you don't eliminate the things that rob you of your self-discipline, not only are you not getting stuff done, you're more tired. You're more physically exhausted. Here's the fallacy. People think self-discipline, people that get up, that work out, that do their stuff, that make their calls, that have these relationships, that are sending out a bunch of emails, that are making a bunch of contacts,

they're tired. That's not the case because after a while, this is automatic. Their brain's not having to think about it. It's just what they do. It's their routine. Your brain, on the other hand, if you're not disciplined, isn't nearly as organized. So it's having to work to think through, to get back up,

to start over, to restart, to get going again. It's constantly having to work. And what you're doing is you're depleting yourself of the energies that could have gone towards creativity, focus, awareness, and intentional activities. Does that make sense? So actually, undisciplined people are more tired at the end of a day than disciplined people. And that's what I found. They say, you're 52, you're working harder than you've ever worked in your dad gum life. Why? Because I have built all these structures around me and eliminated most of the things that take my focus and

discipline away so that I am wired man with a ton of energy to create and innovate and think and be present in the moment because I have self-discipline and self-discipline is a process, is a habit. It is not something someone's born with and it's not very complicated. What has to happen is you got to do it for a while. But now the idea of not working out in a given day makes me sick to my stomach. I can't even imagine not working out. But way back in the day, I had to schedule it. I had to eliminate the sports center. I had to have the glass of water next to me. I had to have my workout clothes laid out the night

before. I had to make my bed. Then I had to do my... Do you follow what I'm saying? These things make the discipline part look much harder than it is. It's actually autopilot for me now. I don't have to think about it. So there's all these benefits to having self-discipline. And I want to share with you like almost my manifesto for self-discipline. And it's quite old. So if you're watching this, you'll see this magazine. And if you're not, I'm going to give you a gift that you're here on the audio anyway. But here we go. This is from Newsweek magazine a little while ago, June 18th, 2001. So at the time that we're recording this, and by the way, stay focused in growth day

all the time. This is one of the best things you can do is being an environment that's conducive to self-discipline that fosters it. That's what we're doing here. Right. This right here, what we're doing, this place you're doing this at creates self-discipline because the environment is constantly feeding you things that create the habits and rituals that make your life easier. But here we go. June 18th, 2001, Newsweek cover, Tiger Rules. I have carried this magazine, two of them,

I have two copies of them, with me everywhere I have gone on business trips for 22 going on 23 years. I have read what I'm gonna share with you thousands of times because it's about discipline, self-discipline, and the mindset that comes with being self-discipline. Tiger rules. This was the prime of Tiger Woods' career. One of the most disciplined people of all time. Now, when I say discipline, in his sports life, anybody who knows anything about sports, know the sports part of his life.

In his prime, there was no more disciplined athlete in the history of sports. Would you agree with me on that? In his prime, in his sports life, there's never been an athlete more disciplined than Tiger Woods. And I wanted to be what he did in golf. I wanted to do in the business part of my life.

And so there was this article and I've carried it now for almost 23 years, okay? Here's what it's called. The dominator, the dominator. And it's five rules for Tiger Woods domination and self-discipline. Would you like to know what they are? Because this article, the dude who read this article 22, 23 years ago, didn't have the mindset of self-discipline. I had the desire for self-discipline. I had some of the habits, but I didn't want to just do well in business, do well in life. I wanted to dominate. How many of you would like to dominate? I mean, go from average ordinary,

not just to win in, but dominance, dominate in your life, whatever that area is, dominating the love parts of your life, dominate in your emotions, dominate in business, dominate in the financial part of your life. Maybe dominate your former self, but be dominant in your life. At the end of this life, now is dominant, right? I wanted to do that. And I don't think that that's a male or female thing. I'm talking about being great, becoming a goat, doing something awesome. And here's what happens 22, 23 years later. Stay with me on this. It's so awesome. I'm totally the guy that started 22, 23 years ago is totally unrecognizable to me, to the man that I am today. Would you like in 22 or 23 years, 25 years from now to look back and go, I don't even recognize that person. It's the same integrity, it's the same character,

it's the same loving being, but I've become something so dominant. I've become almost like a machine. People look at me, you know, you heard audios I've done in the past where I say there's unaware people, that's one type of person, you don't wanna be them. There's motivational people who can motivate you. They play on your motives. If you do this, you'll get a Lamborg motives. If you do this you'll get a Lamborghini, if you do this

you'll get a house, if you do this you'll get a relationship. They play on your motives which is a very it's a good thing a lot of motivational speakers out there motivational friends of yours. The third level is inspirational. Inspirational people take it to a different place they can motivate you. They make you become aware but But they talk, they speak to your spirit. The root of inspirational is to be in spirit. These people are special. These people, you feel something when you're with them and you're around them or you hear them communicate. And then even from there, there's another level. That fourth level is aspirational. Aspirational is not only did you motivate, you made me aware, you motivated me. I'm inspired, but I want to be more like you.

I want to be more like you. To me, in the sports world, Tiger Woods was not only motivational, and he was incredibly motivational. He was inspiring. You would feel things when he would win, but he was aspirational. I'd like to be more like him in my business life. I'd like to be more like him in my business life. I'd like to be more like him. I wanna be a dominator. So I aspired to be a dominator and I know you do too.

You wonder what the five rules are? I'm gonna give them to you. These are the mindsets, not just the behaviors. These are the mindsets of a self-disciplined person. So here we go. Here's what he says. Here's the article by the way. You believe I still carry this thing?

Here we go. Number one, genius is 99% perspiration. Perspiration. I had to hear that. I had to have someone give me permission to work really, really hard. Now what they do in this article, by the way, is they interviewed other dominators.

So they interviewed Martina Navratilova, the great tennis player. They interviewed Joe Montana, the incredible quarterback football player. They interviewed Wayne Gretzky, the greatest hockey player of all time, all talking about Tiger and their similar mindsets. So this isn't just Tigers. This is the dominator mindset. Ninety nine percent perspiration. It begins all the dominators agree with good old fashioned hard work. There's no magic pill.

No such thing as effortless grace at this level talent is a given but Tiger works harder than anyone out there. And that's why he's kicking butt says tennis great Martina Navratilova winner of 167 women's titles including a record nine Wimbledon's every great shot you hit. You've already hit a bunch of times in practice. The vast majority of athletes have a much lower tolerance for preparation. It's not the pain. It's simpler than that. Listen to this. It's not the pain. It's simpler than that. Practice can be boring, says Joe Montana, who led the San Francisco 49ers to four Super Bowl wins in the 80s. A lot of guys say, yeah, I watched two hours of game film last night and that's enough,

but they're not really studying what's going on. They may as well have been watching television. Tigers habit of pounding golf ball after golf ball long into the twilight, often during tournament play has already become part of his legend. This was 23 years ago. During his so-called slump earlier this year,

Woods claimed to be working on something special for his new swing in the Masters. People rolled their eyes until he won the Masters. Montana, like Woods, understands that such preparation pays off biggest and critical situations, moments when a bout of nerves could disrupt even the most basic play. Dominators can be wondrously creative when they have to be, but they're also geniuses of simplicity. In his famous fourth quarter drive to beat the Super Bowl champion, Bengals, Montana threw nothing but short passes. No big strike, no fireworks, and no mistakes. No matter who you are, no matter how good an athlete you are,

we're creatures of habit, says Wayne Gretzky, hockey's leading scorer and four time Stanley Cup winner. The better your habits are, the better you'll be in pressure situations. I think I said that. I think I said that about 10 minutes ago when I said under pressure, you react reflexively. And so although these great people that you see have these unbelievable geniuses in creativity, what they really are are greatest at the fundamentals and they grind and they hit more golf balls and everybody else. They throw more passes, they watch more game film, they make more contacts in business,

they talk to more people, they see more people. And that number one rule gave me the permission and the habit of I've got to become self-disciplined if I'm going to be a dominator. And these are habits and rituals and routines. Everybody on the PGA tour could hit golf balls. There's nothing special about that. It's who hit the most with the most intention with the most focus Tiger Woods did. And that's why Tiger Woods became Tiger Woods and everybody else became everybody else.

So if you want to become aspirational level for these self-discipline mindsets and thoughts in addition to the structural things, I said earlier are the keys. How good is this? By the way, thousands of times I've read Tigers rules on domination. Number two, let the other guy get nervous. Gretzky and Woods have one more critical thing in common, an almost creepy ability to keep their cool. Believe it or not, the bigger the game, the calmer I got, said Gretzky. The dominators let the other guys flinch, the other guys get nervous, and that becomes a weapon on their behalf. I was comfortable because other people were nervous as Yankee

great Reggie Jackson, Mr. October, a title he earned with a startling spring of playoff runs, including the 1977 World Series in which he homered a record five times. Sooner or later you're going to rush and you're going to make a mistake and I'm not going to do that. That helps explain why Woods playing in a gentlemanly sport where the rivals directly can't affect each other's play has nonetheless become known for rattling his opponents. Being paired with Woods is akin to when the disciples tried to save their boat during a storm, only be distracted by the sight of Jesus walking on water. You're not only aware of his superior skills, you're also dealing with a whole new set of variables, such as bigger galleries,

oohs and ahs, etc., etc. So, listen, guys, what about you, your peers in your industry? Anybody getting nervous? Anybody worrying about you? Anybody abstaining late at night thinking how they're going to compete against you? Do you get people under pressure to crack and flinch? Or are they not concerned about you at all? See, in business, not only did I want to have the hardest work ethic, but I wanted people to think, man, I've got to be at my eye game to beat this dude. I wanted the people around me that were on my team to want to rise up to the standard that I was setting at any given time. I want everybody else to get nervous and flinch and under pressure. I was cool and calm.

Remember this self-discipline. One of the things that comes with it is in a sense of emotional control. You don't get too high and you don't get too low. See self-discipline people maintain emotional control. That's what they're saying in number two here. And I've learned that skill. I used to get very up and very down. Well, listen, when you're very up,

your disciplines crack, right? And when you're very down, it's very difficult to be disciplined. But when you can stay somewhere in the middle, up and down, maybe 20, 25%, it allows you to stay self-disciplined in those moments. Number three, don't just dominate, intimidate. Yeah.

Tiger's repeatedly said that intimidation is a part of his game, but that's once he's on the course, he's thinking about nothing but his own shot making sure once he's on the course, but what about when he's getting dressed in the morning? I love this by the way. It's no coincidence that Tiger and off Tiger often pulls out a blood red sweater on his Sunday charges, just as it wasn't by coincidence that Tiger often pulls out a blood red sweater on his Sunday charges. Just as it wasn't by coincidence

that Dale Earnhardt preferred dark sunglasses and drove a black and white stock car that looked like a 200 mile an hour pirate ship. Reggie Jackson during the 77 World Series was the last Yankee every day to take batting practice. Just before the Dodgers took the field, he claims he didn't care if they noticed, but you could tell he was watching.

Before one game, Reggie crushed about 45 out of 60 balls over the fence. That night he walked on four pitches in it first at bat and then hit three home runs. Bob Gibson, the Ferocious pitcher from the St. Louis Cardinals, took intimidation a step further. He wouldn't even talk to guys on the other team,

especially if they were hitters, says Gibson, who had a baffling 1.12 ERA. So here's what I'm saying here, is what this means. You have to have the mindset that you are not going to think like everybody else, that you're going to think differently. And I'm letting you weigh on the inside here of self-discipline. This is deep, deep, deep, deep into it. But if you keep thinking like everybody

else thinks, right, you're not going to be great. And I know this stuff isn't always pretty to hear, but I'm going to tell you right now, this is what winning is. These are the little subtle thoughts that when you're, hey, good to see you, good to see you. But in your mind, you're like, they ain't getting to me. They don't have to play it at this level. They don't know this game. These are all the things you start doing all this stuff. Plus what I said in the very beginning, eliminating the distractions, scheduling the right things. You got to be kidding me. Moving needle activities next, the big stuff,

starting with simple practices that build self-confidence and build momentum. How about number four? This is huge, guys. Have a sense of the historic. You hear that? Do you have a sense of the historic that what you're doing is something great? I tell my family since we're gonna do something so amazing, you guys aren't gonna believe when we get there. We're doing something awesome. This is a team of destiny. This is a company of destiny. The Milets, a family of destiny. In a sense of the historic,

this gives you a context to what to be self-disciplined. Does that make sense? Why be self-disciplined if it's never gonna mean anything? That's the problem. One of the reasons we're not self-disciplined is that it's never gonna mean anything. Who cares? No one's gonna notice, it's no big deal. What I do doesn't matter. It does matter. It's just your dad gum lie.

It's just the story of you. It's just your family name. It's just your reputation. It's just what they're going to talk about when you're going to win a World Series or a Masters Golf Tournament or just be the one in your family and change your family forever, you got to have this sense that you're making history. Because by the way, you are. You're making some type of history. If you're a faith based person, you know, someday you're going to account for there's going to be a history of your life. And even if you're not, you got to believe somewhere along the road, there's some record of your existence. So you're making history. So you might as well have a sense of it. And we have a sense that that history is going to be great. Instead of average and ordinary, you begin to automatically become compelled to be self-disciplined. If you lack self-discipline, there's nothing compelling you to have it other than wanting it. But if you have a sense of the historic, that's totally different. So he says this, do you have to be have to be win the big ones to be a dominator?

It's a subject of eternal debate amongst sports fans, but it shouldn't be. Tiger is the proof. He's at the head of a heavenly crew of athletes, not because he's won five of his past six tournaments, but because he's won five of his past six major tournaments. Every athlete says he wants to win major championships, but Tiger doesn't just want those moments of glory. Listen to this. He has an innate sense that he can't be a legend without them. In our lives, there's going to be a bunch of every single day meetings, every single day encounters with people, and they seem inconsequential.

But when you have self-discipline in these meetings and in these encounters with people, in your relationships, in business, in the gym, whatever it might be, on an everyday basis, every once in a while, there's going to be a big one show up. And you're ready for it when it happens because it's your habit. It's because it's your discipline. But when you aren't day to day prepared, here's the truth in life. When you're doing something historic or when it's a big meeting, most times you won't know it until years later. But if you look back at your life right now, the person you're married to is probably a

chance meeting, right? Or something you weren't even sure was going to be significant to me. The business you're in, the company you work for, probably you weren't even planning on working there or even being in that business. See, our dreams often show up in life in packages that we don't picture that we didn't dream of. And so it's that day to day staying ready and being ready until the important meeting comes, the major appointment comes,

the major relationship comes. I always say that you're one more meeting, one more decision, one more relationship, whatever it might be, one new emotion, one podcast away from changing your life, but the hook is you will never know when it's actually happening. Okay, you will not know when it's happening until it shows up. So you're not going to know when it's the big one. You'll only know after you've done it. Now there are times in life you're like, this one really matters. You will not feel the pressure in this one really mattering

when you've been great day to day and self-disciplined all the way along the way. You've heard great athletes say, it's just another game. It's not just another game, but the great ones can perform just like it's another game, just like it's another meeting, just like it's another appointment. Whereas the average ordinary, the ones that fail, feel the pressure because they haven't been disciplined consistently throughout their life

or their business or their fitness, and they blow the big one. And it's true in life, the difference between winning and losing is so small. It really is almost too scary to talk about. is so small, it really is almost too scary to talk about. If I look back at my own life, the very few occasions and meetings that took the massive difference in my life, it is scary to think about had I not shown up and performed in that meeting, or I had not done the right thing on that first date.

It's amazing even in your own life, isn't it? And so that's why day to day being ready, day to day having self-discipline, day to day having these habits and the mindsets to go with the matter because you never know when it's coming. And the fifth one, this is big. This is why a 52 year old is just fired up today

talking to you. You ready? Never ever be satisfied. Never ever be satisfied. Most athletes work the hardest when they're trying to reach the top. So do most business people. Once they can get to that $100,000, they worked hard.

Once they get to that million dollars, they worked as hard as they can work. The great ones work even harder after they get to the $100,000, harder after they get to the million, harder after they're famous, harder after they've got a big following, harder after they get that promotion. They work harder in their loving relationships after they've got the one that's the one. But most people work hardest to get them. And once they have them, they don't work as hard to keep them or to grow it. The great ones work even harder after they get what they want, who they want. Wouldn't you love to be in a relationship with somebody who works so hard to get you and then once they got you worked even harder the rest of your life to keep loving you.

When you love in business, someone who had a goal to get to a million dollars or $100,000 and when they got there, they worked even harder. But we all know in life that's not true for most people, but the great ones, the dominators, the goats, the self-disciplined people, they work even harder when they get there. So most athletes work the hardest when they're trying to reach the top. But Tiger has seemed only more committed to improving his game since leaving the competition in the dust. Woods won his first Masters by the largest margin in history in 1997. But he knew that he wouldn't reach Jack Nicklaus Mark of six green jackets without a jolt of his game. So he spent the next 18 months literally retooling his thunderous swing. And it goes on to give you more and more examples about that.

Talks about Michael Jordan in here and compares him to Michael Jordan. But I want you to think about that in your own life. Those of you listening to it. How hard did you work when you were totally broke? And now that you're not, do you have that same hunger in work ethic? How hard did you work to lose that first 20 pounds to get in pretty good shape? But are you working even harder now to get the ultimate health and vitality in your life? How hard did you work to get your spouse or your girlfriend or your boyfriend in your life? Are you working even harder now to love them more? Because that's what the dominators do.

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ConstantContact.com. Very short intermission here folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. So this is Eric Thomas as you all know and in my opinion you guys know that I've been speaking for a long time. I think this is an anointed, gifted, incredible communicator. So we're both free now but you talk a lot about how important routine is to getting you to freedom, right? So speak to routine a little bit,

because we both agree about this, you say it in a more powerful way than I do. But for someone listening to this, talk about routine. Because everyone wants to be free, one of the challenges, they act free before they are. You know what I mean? Like there's a certain amount of disciplines and routine and habits and rituals you gotta have that could get you free before they are. You know what I mean? There's a certain amount of disciplines and routine and habits and rituals you gotta have

that could get you free at one point. Talk about that for a second. Yeah, I'm gonna say honestly, man, I came to the realization one day, and again, love my biological father, much respect for the person that raised me, but I realized at some point, when I looked at my family's history,

I was like, some things I don't want. There's some things I want, but there's some things I don't want. And then I remember having to say one day to myself, like yo, you are your father's child. Like yo, even though he didn't raise you, even though in the beginning you guys had, whatever little stuff y'all need to get through,

E, don't lie, you are lazy at times. You know what I'm saying? Like E, you are super social and you'd rather talk than work, you know what I'm saying? I just had to grow up one day and just be real with myself and just say, E, the only way you're gonna be successful is you gotta discipline yourself. You know, when you look at a horse,

I'm talking about a thoroughbred, it still needs that, what is that thing called that they put on it? It still needs that, what is that thing called that they put on it? It still needs that without, you know, you can't, you gotta control him. You know, he got a lot of juice, got a lot of energy. He can go for it, but you gotta hone that. And so I realized like, yo, E, you sleep in,

you play video games, don't lie to yourself. You are powerful, but you have some vices. And you have some vices that take you down a crazy road. Like you are your father, you are your grandfather, you are your mother, you are your grandmother. Like it's real. And so I started saying, okay, E, you gotta discipline yourself. And this is for me, this ain't for everybody.

I start getting up at three o'clock in the morning. It's like, yo, you're gonna have to get up a little bit earlier because you didn't finish school. You didn't take care of your business. So you can't get up the same time another man who gets up who handle his business. So you need to get up at three if you're going to catch the greats. You got to get up at three. You got to go to bed early. This is why I said I never drank or smoked because the men in my life who did it were extremists. Had an uncle who died. So roses

of the liver. You know, I had other uncles who drank, and my father, bless his heart, but he was strung out on drugs for about 14 years. And I was just like, yo, E, you can see that they don't know how to do it casually. Like, they ain't social drinkers. Like, they ain't social on something. They taking it to a whole other level. And so for me, it was like, E, you gotta discipline yourself.

You're not gonna die if you never know what alcohol tastes like. But if you taste it, you might have the same experience they had. So you just gotta discipline yourself. You know I do vegan most of the time, you know what I'm saying? And I tell people I love fried chicken. I love macaroni and cheese. I love a lot of desserts.

But in my family it's diabetes. So it's like, yo, if you do what they do, then you're gonna get the results they got. So yeah, chicken is good and macaroni and cheese, the way my grandma make it is great. And yes, the pound cake is phenomenal. But if you wanna be with Dee Dee for the next 30, 40 years, and you wanna be able to walk, you know what I'm saying? You don't wanna be on the cruise, I was just on the cruise,

and a couple people was on the motor scooter, you know what I'm saying? People with the canes and the walkers. And I'm not mad at them, but I'm like, I wanna be able to walk at 60, at 70. I wanna be independent at him, but I'm like, I don't want that. I want to be able to walk at 60, at 70. I want to be independent at 80 if I can be. So I'm going to have to make some sacrifices now for the long run.

I would drink pop every day if I could. Is everybody hearing this though? Like, I mean, listen, all of us that want to win, like you already said, like I got to get up at three o'clock and if I'm going to catch the greats, cause I started with some deficiency. Successful people are very self-aware. Like they don't BS themselves, right?

Like I have laziness too. I love laying around. I love sleep. No, but before, I wouldn't have got to sleep here if I was just me. I had to get these rituals and habits and disciplines. And people think sometimes they listen to me and they're so intense.

Like these dudes are freaksaks I'm not a freak But you know what I said because it makes it easier for them to say I can't do it if they freaks then I can't do that They're out. You're exactly right. I'm not gonna give you that out. Neither are you like I'm lazy I gotta get up early I gotta get up because if I don't get up by like I get up at 435 But if I don't get up by then I will be in bed at 8 o'clock. I have to get up I have to move my body. So I'm with you 100%. My guest is Monica Aldama, who you guys all know from cheer.

She's also got a new book out called Full Out. So Monica, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I have to make a confession. Before I watched the show, I didn't think cheer was a sport. I didn't. I'm looking at, you know, pom poms and whatever I've seen in a movie before. And then I watched this. These are unbelievable athletes, incredible and the danger level of what you all do. So just quick education on cheer, but then we're going to get into like lessons on life and coaching and leading people in business too. But this, when did this change? Like where have I been? All star cheer is like this thing that sort of turned it, I guess a little bit, right?

But like just, if people haven't seen the show, explain to us how this is a, an absolutely very detailed sport. Yeah. I mean, cheerleading has definitely changed it over the years, even from when I was, you know, a cheerleader myself, when I, I, uh, cheered in the late 80s and around that time, late 80s, early 90s, all-star cheerleading came about and that really changed the industry in its entirety. We did competitive cheerleading in high school,

but it was on a much smaller level. And what happened with all-star cheerleading, we started seeing where these kids were trained from basically birth or really like three years old, you could have an opportunity to compete and they, um, so they created these opportunities for people to be coached by really great coaches. Cause you know, in school cheerleading, a lot of times you have your science teacher that's the sponsor and it really is not at there's no education behind it so there's no coach that's qualified to really get you to the

next level. For myself, I did gymnastics until I was able to do school cheerleading so I think that's what a lot of people did they had a gymnastics background if they were interested in it but anyways it just, it provided this platform where kids could come in and like grow from a very young age, just like with club baseball, you go and you start travel ball and you're playing at an elite level from an early age and all start shooting. And also, uh, you compete many times throughout the year.

So your experience is just every single year, you're gaining more and more experience. So by the time you get to me at college, I saw from the time I started until now, just the evolution of the talent was growing and these kids were coming more and more experienced. And of course it made my job easier, but definitely All-Star cheerleading changed everything about cheerleading and hopefully cheer changed everybody's opinion of it because it definitely competitive cheerleading

is not your pom-poms and your sideline, you know, just trying to look cute. It's mind-blowing everybody. If you haven't seen the show, one, the discipline level, the athleticism and frankly the danger level of the athleticism and frankly, the danger level of the precision of what they need to do and then it comes down to about two minutes and 15 seconds for the whole deal is just compelling. The stories of the the way it's done, it's so funny to tell you Monica, I'm a dude right? The way I found out about your show is I'm golf and you're playing with dudes like hey you see the Laker game last night, you see this, you watch Ozark on Netflix, you know and then over and over guys like have you seen cheer on Netflix I'm like what the hell are

you cheer like and then they're like bro you need to see this it's unbelievable and you gotta see this coach and I'm like finally about 11 or 12 different men on golf courses told me this I'm like I gotta see it and then it's one of these things like you're gonna binge it you can't the stories of these precious kids that are there and Monica, it's just... it's awesome. So I just want to acknowledge the show. It's so so good but so is this book and very rarely do you get someone who's won 14 national championships write a book and say let me show you about my formula, my recipe for leadership and again this applies as an entrepreneur for you one on one in your life. You as a parent, you're gonna love this book. But I want to go to some of like,

this is the foundation. Chapter one is called discipline as a gift. And then you talk about something called, so here we go, guys, there's like, if you're driving in the car, you're wish you could pull over. You say you call it compassionate discipline. And it's a perfect description of what I observed of you in your coaching style. So just talk about that a little bit for a minute, compassionate discipline and why it's a gift. Well, you know, I think discipline is a good thing. And I think structure is a good thing and expectations. And a lot of times, you know, people come from all different backgrounds, and they don't really have those at home.

And those are the things that really can take you to the next level. And but also being empathetic and being able to relate and make them feel like you care about them because at the end of the day, people are going to go that extra mile when they feel appreciated and when they feel like you care. And so obviously I'm a mother and so my perspective is how would I want someone to treat my child? How would I want not only my child, but how would I want someone to speak to me? You know, and so I try to discipline with a mutual respect and I'm not a yeller. You know, I think a lot of people think of being tough and discipline as yelling and you know, we see the typical

football in your face and I like passion too and we can have those moments of passion but I think the biggest part is there needs to be a, there's a big learning curve when 18-year-olds go to college and they're off on their own for their first time and they need the rules and they need to be held accountable but they also need some understanding and some love and I think it's just a great combination for people to want to listen and want to do better and you know yelling doesn't do it you know you have to have a combination of something else. You do that really well. I want to go a little deeper on it because I'm just thinking

about different moments in the show where even in the season one, one of the first shows where the girl's gonna be at the top of the what I call the pyramid hurts herself and you're like we're gonna have to take her out and put someone else in and, and you, these situations happen in business all the time. Most people avoid confrontation in life, even in their marriage, they'll let it stack and stack and stack. You have this really interesting thing because you're firm and you're incredibly truthful, right? Very, very truthful, like, but yet you do do it in a loving way. Do you ever step back and like, if you have an emotion, like you're upset with them, do you ever like let it breathe a minute

before you communicate? Do you have anything you do? Cause that's to me, maybe your great strength. And the other one we're gonna come up with in a minute is what this loving, very candid feedback though. Most people don't do either one of those things. Are you conscious of doing it that way? I mean, yes, I think so. Because I think if we especially with

coaching, if I am not direct, it can lead to confusion, or expectations that are not real on their on their part. And I, I would want someone to be honest with me so that I and even if it makes me upset, I mean, I can deal with it and I can move forward. If I'm constantly in a state of, well, maybe I, you know, maybe I have a chance at this or maybe I'm, you know, that's unfair. I think to them, if you give them direct feedback and expectations, and then it gives them very specific goals to work for, know what they need to do. If they don't make that,

what do I need to do to make that? Well, to be honest, this is where you're at. I don't know, I just would want someone to be honest with me and not let me sit there thinking that I have a chance at doing something when the reality is if I don't have this specific skill or if I'm not working on this particular thing, I'm not going to be able to get that spot. Also it gives them a goal like I said to work for if they know that this is the one thing I'm missing let me go and put some time into that and work on it but like I said I really honestly have

always come from a place of I want to have respectful conversations and speak to them in a way I would want to be spoken to, which is why I'm not a yeller. I don't want to feel like someone is being condescending or embarrassing me. I don't think embarrassing anyone. And of course it happens at times because sometimes we're in a moment and you know, you're going to be really direct at that moment. But for the most part, I think pulling people to the side and having these open, honest, direct conversations in a very loving way is that that's what's worked for me. And yes, sometimes I do need to take a moment. I don't know if you see them too. But you know, I'm like, you know, I need to walk outside because I don't have a good attitude right now. And it's going to probably spill over in, you know, how I start coaching in a minute. So I'm just going to go and like fix

myself. But yeah, I think that, you know, I feel like I earn their respect. And to me, honestly, the biggest thing of leadership, whether you're leading your family, your children or whatever, is they have to respect you. And so I really work on myself a lot so that I'm earning that respect. It's interesting. You use that word a lot. Use it with them. I was just thinking, I mean, I do these interviews, I get to share them with everybody, but a lot of times are for me, you know, and I reflect on myself when I was early in my business career, before I had kids, because you're intense, just so you guys know, this is an intense woman, you don't win 14 national championships, if you're not one crazy person, she's a crazy person, just so you know, by the way, I think crazy is good. I love crazy people. Weird, rich and successful, normal, poor and unsuccessful. So I like that you're crazy.

I'm crazy. But before I had kids, I think I had disrespectful conversations sometimes with people. And something about having babies, I would never want someone to speak to my son or my daughter that way. So you use that word respect a lot,

both how you treat these young people and yourself. And a lot of times as a leader, when you want a bunch of titles and you're the coach and they're a kid, it'd be easy to have a disrespectful tone. And as a business owner or an entrepreneur, same thing in business, I own this place, you work for me, you can come across as disrespectful. So I wanna really highlight that part of it.

And it's something that she does incredibly well and it's how you galvanize a group. The other thing, the second thing I think you're incredible at is instilling belief in people and getting each of them to believe in themselves and getting them to believe as a collective team as well. Is that something you think about consciously and you're always sort of like embeddedly commanding belief into people? I think so for sure. I think I'm careful with my words and it comes with that championship culture. You have to have everybody buy in not only to the program, but to themselves as well because they are at such an elite level.

If they start doubting themselves, you know, it think our culture, we, I worked really hard and having that, that culture and the athletes have always bought in and it makes my job a little bit easier because they are holding each other accountable on that as well. But I definitely choose my words wisely. And when there are in, you there are situations where we're going through something difficult or we're struggling or whatever, I have to keep in mind that I'm the one they're looking to, to know like if we're in a storm,

we're gonna get out of the storm. If we're having a tough day at practice, it's okay because tomorrow's a new day and we're gonna hit that pyramid or whatever. I mean, we go through just struggling in practice or bigger things that are happening within the team or with different people. So I always know that I have to be that support and that calm within the storm.

And so I do choose my words wisely and I try to always keep it in a positive. Like we're gonna overcome this. I mean, you saw in season one when Austin got hurt on the band show, that's never happened before. In my mind, I was terrified. I thought, I don't know how we're gonna overcome this, but I knew that everyone's looking at me. And I was like, oh, we've got this.

Y'all did amazing, like all these positive things, you know, that I'm trying to, you know, it's not that big a deal. We have this, we've practiced this over and over. That's not what I was thinking in my head. I was going through, I was going through some stuff. No, that's one big thing as a leader is not showing hurt and showing, I call it equanimity, calm under duress and pressure, right? And it's just these are things you hear all the time

and you go yeah, but do you really do them if you're listening to this? Think about your family for a second. Your family has a culture. Are you conscious of it? Because a lot of times you bring the culture from the family you grew up in into your new family, unconsciously, your little things. Like if you weren't hugged a lot when you were a kid, maybe you don't hug your kids as much. You know, there's just, there's a cultural thing. How do you build a culture by the way? I know that's a broad question, but like, you know, is that something you start out, you go, I'm going to build something here special. Is it one of these things where you want people to feel special that they're at Navarro

College? You put on our uniform, there's something special about being here. Do you think about those things or is it just like the culture just becomes a reflection of the coach? I think it just becomes a reflection because I was very young when I started. I mean I had zero experience. You were basically right out of college, right? For everybody's understanding. Yes, and I had no intention of coaching ever. I, you know, have a business degree in finance. And honestly, my ultimate goal was to move to New York City and work on Wall Street. I thought for some reason, I thought that was the ultimate goal that I should look towards. And

But I graduated college early, so I was 21 when I graduated and moved to Dallas. I married my high school sweetheart and we moved to Dallas for a year. And I was working at a computer company that I really not, it was just the first job offered to me to pay the bills, to figure out what we were going to do. And a friend of mine was the baseball coach at Navarro. And he called me one day and he was like, Hey, our cheerleading coaches leaving, you should come and apply for this job. And I was like, well, I don't know. I mean, it was, it was my, I grew up there. So I was like, I guess I could do that. I don't really don't like what I'm doing right now. And it'll be a good stepping stone.

Give me some time to figure out what I want to do. You know, so I applied for the job, no coaching experience at all. Like I said, I'd only been out of college for a year and got the job. And so I, I basically learned everything from trial and error and just studying my butt off because I was, you know, I got there and there were only 14 people on the team when I got there. And so, of course, they'd never won. They weren't not good. They were decent, you know, but they were not. Nobody knew who we were, by any means. And so I'm very competitive and I was like, you know, I want to build this program up. Like even if I'm here for a year or two, like I want to be the best because that's just, if I'm, you know, playing a card game,

I want to win every single time. That's just who I am. I'm competitive and I want to be the best at whatever I'm doing. So I started, you know, trying to learn and figure out how to do that. And I really just took everything that I learned in business because I thought, well, you know, to earn the ultimate respect, I need to win a national

championship. That's what I need to do. And how am I going to do that? You know, we have 14 people on the team. So I just started, you know, I thought, actually, this is what I did. I was like, how do I win a national championship? Well, I get the most points. How do I get the most points? Well, let me look at the score sheet. I need to maximize my points in all of these categories. How do I do that? Okay. Well, this means that we're going to need to get really good in all these categories. So I kind of started, you know, from the goal and worked backwards and tried to recruit people.

And at that time it was not, I mean, I literally was going into the weight room. I see a big guy and I'm like, Hey, would you be interested in coming and letting us teach you how to throw something? Yeah. I mean, because, you know, I mean, cheerleading, the talent pool wasn't as big because it, like I said, it was right at the start of all starts. There weren't a lot of guys, a lot of the guys that were involved, really, they got involved because their girlfriends were a cheerleader. They played football. They were like, oh, they started throwing some people around and figure and realize how, you know, it's kind of like addicting to have what else can I do? And so, you know, early on, there just weren't a lot of males out there to recruit. So we're just recruiting and really teaching the guys that, I did actually have some boyfriends of the girls

that we taught and pulled into the team. So it just started there and built, I didn't know, so like I said, I didn't go in and go, oh, I'm gonna build this championship culture. I was really just like, wait, what? I wanna win, so let me start there. And then it just started kinda coming together, but I want to win. So let me start there. And then it just started kind of coming together. But I always knew like, what kind of person I am. And I

thought the most important thing, like I said, from the beginning was I need their respect. And I need to make sure that I'm working on myself to earn that. And I want to make sure I'm living my life by leading by an example and doing what I expect them. So I really tried to make sure that in my own personal life, I was, you know, being a good person. And you know, if I expect you to do this, I'm gonna do it times a thousand.

I'm gonna show you how to do it through my actions. And so because of that, the buy-in was pretty quick. These kids were buy-in was pretty quick. You know, these kids were buy-in in because they were like, I wanna, they wanted to make me proud. I mean, I heard that so many times. Yeah. And so I really think that that was how

we started building this. I was doing my job by being a good leader and by being a good example. And they wanted to follow that example. Yeah. I think that you said so much there. You know, the first thing that you said was about being competitive. Every single person that I've ever been around,

they have a crazy competitive streak. It's this invisible thing. They're psychos. They're just, they're just different. They want to beat you at everything they do. And this is a telling lesson for you guys that are building a team. Cause she has a whole chapter in the book on recruiting.

And I think one of the things you should look for is competitive people. The second thing that she said there that just, I want to make sure we unpack because I think great leaders are sort of aspirational people, meaning they want to live a certain way themselves. They aspire to be a certain way. And then when you're in their presence, whether it's a Tom Brady or a John Wooden or yourself or any great leader, you want to make

them proud because you respect them. You start connecting the dots of Monica's mindset. Because a lot of times people just do things unconsciously very well. And, but I like to unpack them. There's this respect thing both ways, which is then aspirational. And then if you get someone competitive, they wanna make you more proud than other people are making you proud. And now you've got this thing you can't really describe, but it wins.

Yeah. And it builds a culture. I wanted this guy on a long time because his work is so unique and we have a bunch of mutual friends who keep telling me how incredible he is. I expect him to prove that to all of us today. He is a prolific author, and I call him

one of the great thought leaders of our time. We're gonna have an amazing conversation today about you with him. Ryan Holiday, welcome to the show. Yeah, thanks for having me. The chapter of the book, by the way, the title of the book, rather, everybody, is Discipline is Destiny, The Power of Self-Control.

He's gotta get it. It's loaded, loaded. So this is a goofy question, but I wanna finish with it. What actually is discipline? What is discipline to you? As I'm doing this series on the four virtues, I define courage as the willingness to put your ass on the line for what you believe in.

I say discipline is the willingness to keep your ass in line, right? This is what I know I need to do, I'm gonna do it. Wisdom is knowing what to do, right? Discipline is the willpower, the strength, the self-control, the self-mastery to do it. Seneca says, he is most powerful who is under his own power.

That's what it is. Are you, it's not, hey, do I have control over other people? A lot of people have that, but do you have command, control over yourself? That's what discipline is. I love it. He says in the very beginning of the book that in order to master anything, you must first master yourself. And I believe that so strongly.

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This show is sponsored by better help. You know, this month is all about gratitude and along with everyone we're thankful for there's another person we usually don't think enough and that's ourselves. We just get lost in the shuffle. Don't we? So many times, sometimes it's hard to remind ourselves that we're trying our best to make sense of everything.

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That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on apple and Spotify links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. The gentleman that I have on the show today has written a brand new book that I love. It's called uncommon leadership. 11 ways great leaders lead. In fact, I love it so much. I wrote the foreword. Ben Newman, welcome to the program. Ed, my brother, you know how much you mean to me and the opportunity to be with you

and I'm so grateful for you writing the foreword and just couldn't be any more excited to be with you and your listeners. Alright, we talked about routines. How about an evening tip? So my routine is mainly morning focus, I'll be candid. I think sort of like you, I'm an early riser. I want to, if I can get to win that first part of my day, I feel like there's a high probability I'm gonna win the middle, right? And probably the end. Are there things you do as your day winds down

that you think are worthy of sharing with everybody here? So I'm gonna rock the boat a little bit here on this one but I think you might be on my side of the fence here. So I'm going to rock the boat a little bit here on this one, but I think you might be on my side of the fence here. You know, if anybody really follows in, you see awesome memories with Bella, you see him inviting Bella and her friends. They're out on the boat. They're going to dinners.

They're enjoying their favorite things. It's you and Max on the golf court. It's you and Christiana traveling together. So you believe that balance does exist. That would be my belief as I watch your behavior and as I love how you show up every day. Thank you. That's a great example for me.

And it's something I've always believed. I actually have a bookend to my days. I don't have meetings at seven o'clock at night, eight o'clock at night, nine o'clock at night, 10 o'clock at night. Because if I do that and I never turn it off, my family doesn't get my time. There is no balance in my life. And I believe that you will not perform at your highest level.

I think the world has been conditioned. I'm going to grind 36 hours a day and I'm just going to grind. I understand where that comes from, but I would offer this as an example or something, an opportunity I should say. Try actually giving your family your unconditioned love and mindset. Now given, my mind might wander, there's something,

we got a big game coming up or I'm working on, there's a big talk or something. So I may sometimes my mind will wander and I'll take a note. I'm not perfect here, but I do my best to have a bookend. And so when I'm home, because I travel as much as I do, my day's over at 530 no later. And I've done that for years. Now, in the event, there's something that does come up every now and again, but it's become a standard for me. I love to cook for the family. And it actually, for me, it slows me down. So at five 30, if I start cooking, I'm relaxing. What does everybody want to eat? We enjoy a meal around the table together. That makes us better. Yeah.

And so I get up early so that I don't have to work until seven or eight at night. So greatness takes sacrifice. You have to sacrifice something if you want balance. The easy way is to follow the lead. And I'm going to be a little bit direct here because I care that much about the people listening. People easily follow the lead of the person who has no discipline and has no balance because that's easier. Hey, I'll work out when I work out, I'll do it because they're not disciplined in their own lives. Yet if you want to be disciplined and have others lead and be the example, you have got to make sacrifice somewhere. So for me, all the way back to when I was a financial advisor years ago, I had clients, Ed, I'm talking

clients making a million dollars a year. And I used to meet people at the cigar club at the risk and they would literally joke with me. I'm talking about people. They were huge clients and they'd say, Ben, it's five 15. I know you're leaving. You're about to get the bill. That's it. So they would make fun of me, Ed, but they actually respected it. They respected it. They knew they're like, this guy literally is going home at five 30. I could talk to him about something else for business, but he promised his family. He was going to be home. And so I believe if you want

balance, you have to build balance and believe that you can have it. I know it's a long winded answer, but no, it's powerful because one Bennett Ben is up so early and trains so regimented that I think it's wonderful that you share your recuperation time that you're not a robot. It took me years to start to repeat. People say, I think you're Superman or a robot. You're not even human. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. Like I like Cheetos too, you know, and I like TV and I take time off. So I love that you share that number one. But number two, again, people will listen to go, oh, well, hey, Ben Newman said I'm done at 530. So I'm done at 53030, so I'm done at 5.30.

That's not what he said. What he actually said was he gets up extra early, makes that sacrifice where his day begins so much earlier than most people, gets so much done by 6 a.m. that he can have that for his family. He's eating it for his family at four o'clock in the morning when he's getting up,

or whatever time he gets up that day so that he can have this and so it's a trade-off. I love how granular and detailed we're getting because it's one of the things that most people wouldn't know about you or me is that I do recuperate, I do rest, I'm much, I show up present because of it. We're all human and if we're just depleting ourselves all the time, we're not effective and eventually we'll burn out. ourselves all the time, we're not effective and eventually will burn out. Me and Ben been at this a long time, right? And one of the reasons, one of the things longevity demands is some form of recuperation and

separation from the grind, so to speak. That's how you do stuff. 30 years, you can't do stuff 30, 20 years. If you don't do that, I actually wake up at 2 24 and so the next level of everybody's success is a math problem. So this is the only reason why I'm stopping on this point. Look at the difference between four and 2 24 and I'm not condoning for anybody to do that. The reason why I get up that early is because that's how long my morning routine takes for me to wake up that early and to be done at 6 a.m. because that's when the kids wake up for me to wake up that early and to be done at 6am. Because that's when the kids wake up for me to be present to get them ready for school,

take them to school, watch TV, make them breakfast, because I want to have that family time. So that's why I wake up that early. But the difference of what is called 230 to four is 90 minutes. Every 30 minutes, because everybody makes the excuse I don't have time. And what I've learned is time and sacrifice when I take them back, I win more. And so every 30 minutes times five days in a week is two and a half hours, four weeks in a month is 10 hours. 10 hours is a workday times 12 months in a year is an extra 12 days.

So by waking up 30 minutes earlier, you get an extra 12 days a year. Me waking up the difference between four and two thirty is an extra 36 days. Most people work 18 to 20 days. So I'm working 14 months when most people are working 12 months. By the way, a key to, hey, I'd like to get up earlier, is I recommend that you start in 15 minute increments weekly. You nailed it! Right? So if you're a 6 30 waker, get up at 6 15 for a week then get up at 6 then get up and you'll find that it's much easier than going, we've all done that, I'm a 6 30, I'm getting

up at 4 now and you know you're just gassed by 2 o'clock every day and then you can't do it so it's breaking it down over time. So let me ask you about this person listening right now because you guys now you're getting why I wanted Ben on and why I want you to have his book, because we can go in so many different directions, but I'm listening today, I'm driving to my car, I'm on the treadmill, I'm watching it on YouTube, and I'm at a stage in my life where, you know what, you guys both have me really inspired right now, and I'm willing to make some sacrifices, but I'm in a slump and or I'm a little bit just as a loss like I

Relationship just ended or a business I had is not so good or you know The last 18 months is sort of just hit me really really hard and I'd like to start again today I know and by the way everybody you can just start again today I don't care if you've started 1,100 different other times you can start again, right? You have my permission and Ben's permission, start again. I don't care if you started again January 1st, you started again last summer, start again. But if I'm starting again, where do I do Ben?

But if you're starting again, you have to start. You know, let's take 75 hard as an example, right? A lot of people, they think, oh, well I tried it and I failed. You really only failed if you don't try again, right? If you just say, oh, I tried it, I'm never gonna, and I'm not saying everybody has to do 75 hard, but my point is that's what happens.

People try something once and they never try again. The failure of not trying again is actually worse than maybe the beer that you decided to drink with your friends and then you couldn't check the box and you miss 75 hard. And so to me, I think you bring up a great point. You have to have a willingness to start again. And so we actually in the book,

and I've been sharing this for 15 years, I call it a prize fighter day and it breaks down what are the things that you need to do personally, professionally and in your service to others every day. And when you do those things, you win. And we all know what those things are, but we choose to not every day. And when you do those things, you win. And we all know what those things are, but we choose to not do them. So if you're in a season of life

where it's been challenging to Ed's point, just like he believed in me and shared that. And now I put it in front of me every day. He just spoke that into you, stop where you are and let's build right now for you, stop. What do you need to do personally, professionally enough service? I need to eat right and I need to break a sweat,

get a workout in. You don't have to train like Ed, but break a sweat. Number two, you may say in sales, when I perform at my highest level, I gotta make, I call them points of contact rather than phone calls, text message, email, phone call. I gotta make 20 points of contact. That's when I know I'm giving my best, okay?

That's your business. The service, which John Wood I got to make 20 points of contact. That's when I know I'm giving my best, okay? That's your business. The service, which John Wooden used to say, can't have a great day until you've done something for somebody else with no expectation or anything in return, do something for somebody else. So you mean to tell me that you can't wake up tomorrow, get a workout in, eat right, make the phone calls, text messages that you're supposed to make

that's gonna make you successful and do something good for somebody. And so I think people have been conditioned in the world that when you fail, at least I tried. I think by not starting again, that's way worse than the falling short that you already experienced. Believe in yourself and go back to the attack

because everything you need is already in you. God's given it to you, but you got to choose to take it. And sometimes He puts you through pain and failure and challenge, because He recognizes you need to find your greatest strength. Oh my gosh Ben! That's one of those replay it right there. Everybody rewind and listen to what he just said again. You said something about God there, which is amazing, because as you were talking, I had this calling on my heart because you said about this book that you and I both love earlier and I'm just curious for you how important faith has been in your life and then also is that a common trait in most of the leaders you know that there have some

faith whatever that faith is and that you know perhaps they're willing even to proclaim it I'm just curious if that was any of the some of the things uncommon leaders have. Well, so here's what's actually pretty interesting. The book releases and all of a sudden it shoots right to the top. It's the number one Christian leadership book and it's actually maintained number one Christian leadership book. That's awesome. Since the book came about a week ago, it stays there and the publisher didn't even select that as a category for the book. Yet there are some there. There are three chapters in the book that strongly

reference the beliefs from a Christian based platform that some of the leaders have, one of which is our dear friend, John Gordon. John has actually mentored me since 2008. He led me to Christ. We're both born Jewish individuals that accepted Christ later on in life. So we're Jews for Jesus. That's why you like me,

because I'm duly protected. You know, you'll be all right. And so there's this strong faith-based message, but yes, many leaders have it. It's not a prerequisite for leadership, but you do find that it's very common. And those strong leaders, even a dabble Sweeney, right? Who it's fun for John and I, because he's worked with dabble for 10 years. I worked with coach Saban for four years. Now we go head to head, but dabble doesn't hide his faith. You know, a lot of leaders there,

they're comfortable that you don't have to agree with me but I'm gonna help you understand where I stand in life and in the book, it definitely, it's there and there's a prayer that John shared with me at the end of his chapter. You gotta let people know where you stand. They don't have to agree with you but as a leader, don't be fearful of letting people know where you stand. Oh my gosh! I believe that so strongly and I'm so glad you said it the way you said it. And of course, you know that John's become a dear friend of mine and I obviously guys, what I feel like is if you do have faith that it will help explain to people your moral and some of your standards that you that you live by. And at the same time, it's a way of defining who you are and what you believe in and what you stand for. There is a way to say, hey, this is what I believe in and not say it in a judgmental or preachy way. I'd like to think that I sort of nuanced that relatively well, that people

know where I stand yet. I love everybody, believe in everybody, but I think you kind of know where I stand on stuff. And so I just want to encourage everybody. That's why I asked about the question. How often when you speak and look when you and I go to speak oftentimes right as much as we'd like to say this is where I stand sometimes it's in our contracts no politics no religion yeah how many times do people still come up to you and say are you a man of faith Ed? All the time almost I would say almost every single time and that that's to your point that you just expressed is that you believe it in such a way that you show up with this conviction. You don't have to say I'm blessed.

You don't have to read a Bible verse. People know it's in your heart. They know it's in my heart. And the other thing I want to share with everyone listening to this if I'm an example of one thing is that God uses flawed people and I think Ben would raise his hand and say this as well that I think you all need to know that I make mistakes every day. So does Ben. I'm a sinner saved by the grace of God, by the way everybody, and I just want you to not think that because you're not perfect that you can't win. Because if you make mistakes, you can't win. I think oftentimes people think this mistake, this decision, this judgment, this thought

I have just qualifies me for being successful. I'm gonna be punished with failure because I'm human Nothing could be further from the truth. You're not gonna be punished with failure because you're a human being who makes mistakes but having a faith that allows you to reflect and Maybe even repent to some extent or grow in it is a wonderful experience to have when you do make those mistakes Is what I would say to everybody. Tim Grover, welcome back to the show brother. Thank you so much. One of the things I told Tim before the interview, this relentless and his program, his relentless program as well, I was telling him before the interview on this topic we just were, there's so many of you that have children that

are at that teenage years and they're thinking about their sport or college or the rest of their life. I so strongly believe the sooner in life someone begins to learn to think like this, the easier it is to develop those habits. And so at the end when we promote this or even Tim's book and his program, really encourage you to get your children at the right age involved in this and learning to think like this earlier in life. Their lives will be so much better earlier if they learn to think this way as opposed to the way the world's teaching them to think right now.

So I want to make sure that I've told you that. In just a few minutes we're going to tell you how you can get access to his program. We're getting, you know, I keep saying it but we're getting too soft. Everyone talks about, you know, nobody moves anymore. We're getting unhealthy. Listen, we have access to some of the healthiest foods, all the diets out there, all the knowledge. There's more gyms opening now than ever before, and why is your obesity rate going up? You have the knowledge, you know, hey, if I eat this, this is what's going to happen.

If I eat this, this is not going to happen. But people want to make excuses. I got a slow metabolism rate. I'm big-boned and all that. No, you're eating too much. All right, let's stop making excuses. All right, there are people out there that do have those conditions. Okay, we over-complicate things.

Move more, eat less, equals weight loss. There you go, yeah. And I'm pretty sure most people's bones aren't much bigger than other people's People say that's completely nonsense your bones are not bigger than my bones But it's an excuse they've heard that so they've heard that somebody Yeah, I can't lose I can't lose the weight because it's the same thing, you know when you're competing at something It's not why was Michael and Kobe?

When you're competing at something, it's not, why was Michael and Kobe who they were? Tom Brady, Dwayne Wade, Wayne Gretzky, Muhammad Ali, Floyd Mayweather, all these guys. Not because of their physical gifts. Yes, that had a lot to do with it. It's up in here. It's up in here and we can all, listen, we're not going to learn to fight like Floyd. We're not going to learn to fight like Floyd, we're not gonna learn to play basketball like Michael, we're not gonna be able to do these things,

but you can all think that way in whatever you're doing, you can all take that action, you can be that cleaner in whatever you wanna do, it starts and ends up here. It's time to recharge this and reboot this. Is there a difference at all? I'm just curious because you work with both of them. Just a sports thing. He indulged me. What is the difference between Kobe and Jordan? Was there a difference in the two? Because there's tons of similarities. Is there a difference in the two? I always say this. Kobe worked out harder. Michael worked out smarter. Is that right? Yes.

They both, they were extremely hard, but Michael was always, Michael was always smart. Kobe was, it was this constant push, push, push, push, and we had to kind of, even when you reeled them in, okay, you'd get a call at 3 a.m. in the morning, they said, what are you doing? It's 3 a.m., I'm sleeping. That's what you should be doing. Right.

Let's go back to the gym. Really? All right. And I'm like, no, it's really not a good idea. Well, here's the thing. Even if I tell him it's not a good idea, I still got to go to the gym because he's going to show up at the gym.

No kidding. Yeah. He's going to show up at the gym. Were they the two hardest workers? Yes. Your most successful individuals, it doesn't happen by accident. Right. It doesn't, you listen, there's a lot of talented people that succeed at nothing. Mm-hmm. At absolutely nothing. Now when

you have that individual that's talented, you have that individual that knows how to work hard. All right. and they have the intelligence. And this is key, this is key, because this is what's missing now with individuals. All right, you have the talent, you have the intelligence. You know how to compete, you don't have the resiliency. The resiliency. You don't have that.

When failure comes kicking your ass Yeah, all right you you crumble and you yeah, all right Yeah, you crumble you gotta have that resiliency over and over again But at some point that resiliency is got to turn into something. All right, you know people talk about all the time Oh, you build so much character from losing and, you know, from failure and all that. Listen, at this point in my life, I've got enough fucking character. I've had enough losing.

Yeah, me too. I've had enough losing. I've got enough character. All right. I've learned more from my wins. I just don't even think it's true. You always learn more from your wins. I've learned more from my wins.

You always learn more from your wins. You're cool. See, here's the thing. You cannot say this, all right, a cleaner never calls himself a cleaner. You know why a cleaner never calls himself a cleaner? Because he's never satisfied. Another individual can call themselves a cleaner. That statement you just made tells me right now, don't let this go, you are a cleaner.

You'll never admit it, your wife will never admit it, okay, but somebody else can say, when they see that, he's a cleaner. But you're never gonna be satisfied. Honestly doesn't feel like it, right? It just honestly doesn't. And it never will, it never will, because guess what, when it does,

you're no longer a cleaner, you're a closer. Right, you move backwards, right? You move backwards. You're not willing to go through the next wall. Right, and it happens. You get a lot of individuals that make that stage, right. You move backwards. You're not willing to go through the next wall. Right. And it happens. You get a lot of individuals that make that stage. They go from closers to cleaners, and they just, it's too intense.

Yeah. It's just. I watch it all the time, man. It's too intense, and you see them. They see them, you see them go back. You do. You do. Like, listen.

You're, you have, you're built a certain way. Okay, you work out to have this physique. You work out to have this physique. I work out to look this way. Your wife, everybody else does. What happens if you stop? We know. You got it. Your body goes back.

You don't have those arms. You don't have those shoulders. You don't have those guns. You don't no longer have that waist. Your body wants to always convert back to being comfortable. So true, man. So true. And we say this all the time, you gotta get, you have to be comfortable being uncomfortable.

Being uncomfortable. You said something in the book, we'll go through a couple bullet points, because you said something about the hard work. Let me just read something to you, you said here, here because I just really believe I believe all of this but he said he knew his skills were so finely tuned that he could dominate any situation you're talking about Jordan mm-hmm he works so hard and long that his body and his mind this is the word reflexively knew what to do at all times with Michael everything became automatic he repeated those same movements over and

over until he didn't have to think about anything he only had to let those all times with Michael. Everything became automatic. He repeated those same movements over and over until he didn't have to think about anything. He only had to let those instincts take over. So what I see in like professional business people is the more they've repeated these, whether it's their phone call or their script or their clothes, over and over, when pressure hits, they can act reflexively, right?

And their instincts take over. And your average person has not put in that background work. And so when pressure hits, they flinch, they miss, they stutter, they stammer. It's not reflexive to them, right? So one of the big differences is their ability to get to, it's an automatic reflexive process through the work, right?

Yes, you know what? Your greatest athletes, all right, your greatest business people, all right, your most successful individuals, and whatever they people, alright, your most successful individuals and whatever they do, I'm talking about teenagers, teachers or whatever, okay, you know what to them, thinking is? Thinking is a distraction. Thinking is a distraction.

They're so finely tuned. Everything becomes, is no longer a reaction, it's a reflex. Alright, so when they're actually thinking about something, they're actually not on their game. You're right. You're right. Okay? They're not on their game. If you have to think about this movement, you've got to think about this, you've got

to think about what you do. No, when something happens, it's like, but in order to get that state, you know how many years and years of preparation it takes not to be able to think, and you hear this about all the time in athletes or kids all, just go up to the plate, don't think, just swing the bat, okay, just shoot the ball. No, it doesn't work like that. That's years and years. That only works if you've had those 25,000 hours of the work in, right?

Exactly. For those of you that are getting into a business or you're in a business, you're already good, you can't work enough. You can't get so good at your craft. The more and more reps you do, the more reflexive something becomes under pressure, and the more you train people over and over and over again so that when they're under pressure, they react reflexively too. That's how you build a team, right?

Yeah, it's just like, all right, I'm going to give a little example here. I don't know how long we've been going for. Everyone's driven in a car. You got a passenger next to you. So let's say you're driving, okay, and you have a family member sitting next to you, and all of a sudden you hit the brakes. What's the first thing you do? Reach over and protect the person next to you.

You don't think about it, but that's what cleaners do. That's cleaner in business business and everything they do. Exactly. What's a closer's going to do? A closer's going to hit the brake, and then he's going to look over to a person. Are you OK?

Yes. No. They already know they're going to be OK. I got to make sure everybody else is OK. Oh, that's awesome. I got to take care of that person. How good was that? I'm so excited because today is really

about changing your life. And if I could just define today, it's about changing your life and if I could just define today It's about changing your life effect if I could define my whole program It's about changing your life and today we get to get right into the heart of it with a man Who's done that in his own life comes from a remarkable family NFL football player incredible motivational speaker Sam Acho welcome to the show brother. I'm so glad to be here Ed, thank you. So good to have you. A couple other questions I wanna say before we even move off the first darn chapter

is you talk about, you said in the book, you said this book at its core, I'm quoting from it, is about taking things that are broken, systems, situations, people, culture, like what we saw in 2020, systematic things in our world, and you say, and working towards making them whole. Sometimes brokenness is on the outside, cities, countries, and communities

in which we live, work, and play. Other times that brokenness is within, and until we address the things that break our hearts, the things that bring us pain, we won't be able to do what we were put on this earth to do. And you ask, what breaks your heart, and then you go into some other questions. That's not normal in a dream book.

Why do you have that in there? Because this is not a dream book. This is a overcoming book. Overcoming the obstacles on the outside, but also overcoming ourselves. Before you make any kind of change, we could use that word, you could say prog, whatever word you wanna use.

You need to address the insecurities within you and the brokenness within you. And sometimes that brokenness came from people close to you. Maybe it's family members, maybe it's like a dad who was present or wasn't present. Maybe it was a mom who was there, maybe wasn't there. Maybe it was siblings, maybe it was something that happened as a child

and all of a sudden, like your worth that God gave you, that inherent worth, I remember when Jesus gets baptized, heavens open up, this is my son, in whom I'm well pleased. There's another verse in Matthew 18 or so where they're given an example about paying taxes and all the things and they're asking Jesus, should we pay, should we not? And essentially he's like, man, the sons are free,

y'all are good, but we're still gonna pay. But it's like, I'm God's child. I have inherent worth and value. And somewhere down the line, I set that aside and I started to believe a lie. The lie that either I wasn't enough, or wasn't good enough, or wasn't smart enough, or I was too much.

And God said, nope, you are who I made you, but I need you to set aside the lie and pick up the truth. And so this is not a dream, oh, you know, dream, babe, all these dreams come true. No, this is, hey, that's why this book was hard for me to write. It was hard, like, it was hard. My first book, I'm not saying it was easy,

but the words flowed out of my heart. This one was very challenging because I have to address some of the stuff inside of me. The subtitle, following your fire to heal a broken world. Like I talk about man, that God given fire, sometimes it gets put out. How do we reignite that match? And so life is hard and dreams are real.

And if we wanna go and live out those dreams or even find them again, we have to go back to those places and address those broken pieces inside of us. There's a story, I don't remember the verse right now. I'm telling you, man, there's a story in the Bible about the potter, and it's like this dude, he's making this pottery and he messes, like the potter messes it up.

And you think, oh no, I'm done, I'm screwed, this is horrible. And then it goes on to say, well the potter, as he kind of slips and messes up the clay, he makes it into something different that was pleasing to him. So it's like, dude, I messed up. It's like, no dude, God still wants to,

not even can or will, he wants to use you. And oh by the way, it brings him great joy and delight. I think he likes to use some of your things that you think disqualify you. Bingo. And you talk about this in the book. And I'll be honest with you, I'm reading the book going, man, because I'll give you a quick example,

and then I'll let you talk about it. My dad was an alcoholic and got sober when I was 15 years old, stayed sober the rest of my life. So one of the reasons I believe so deeply humans can change their life, I watched my hero do it. And not too long ago I woke up in the middle of the night, I had written my book about my dad and the power of one more. And I woke up crying.

And my wife's known me since we were little kids. She goes, what's wrong? And I said, someone helped daddy. And she went, what? I said, someone helped my dad. I never thought about this before. Some precious human being helped my dad in the lowest moment of his life.

He was either gonna take his life or lose his family. I don't even know where it happened, a bar, an alley somewhere. Someone helped my dad get sober. And she goes, that's incredible. And I said, that person has no idea that they did something great with their life. The ripple effect is, I'm his son. I've reached millions of people.

They probably have no idea. The more amazing thing is what qualified this person to help my dad. They were an alcoholic at one time. They were a drug addict. They were a liar. They were a drug addict. They were a liar they lived in the shadows God repurposed their mess and Actually used the things they were the most ashamed of to change other people's lives and change their life So oftentimes what we do you're right this worth gets stripped away

and then we start using our mistakes or our failures or our averageness even as like these disqualifiers from our future when the reverse is actually true, right? Isn't that the case? That is 100% the case. There's a point in my book, and I'm saying this because I just found this out. I talk about this lady, this older woman named Cindy, like 80, 70 year old, six year old woman,

and how in the book, and this is, it's great, but I didn't know this until now. So I talk about, man, she had a friend, and her friend, white woman, grew up in Houston, and kind of like race and things, and different water fountains, and she had a friend who essentially, Cindy's working on learning more about race,

and George Floyd, and she has this friend, and this friend's like, oh, I don't like black people and this and that. It was like, you know, she's like old school thinking. And Cindy stood up to her and said something and I wrote in the book and that's sometimes the cost of change. And I was like, maybe Cindy lost a friend that day. I don't know if she did or didn't.

Well, I sent her a copy of my book and she read it obviously. And I told her about that section and she said, hey Sam, thank you so much for writing this, but this story actually does have a happy ending. Because my friend, after that conversation, we stayed in touch and all of a sudden, she's learning more about people who look different

than her, who think differently. And all of a sudden, because of me, like saying something and saying, hey, let's actually learn, now her story is changing. Who knows about her kids and her grandkids and her great grandkids? And so this idea of our mess, even I go back to my friend doing stuff on TV,

like I was hurt by hearing this guy who was my teammate say, man, why would you say that? And, but he confronted me. And I get a chance to go and, and I said, I was going watching, did I say it or not? But even go and say, hey, let's talk about this. Cause I don't ever want to be that kind of person. I don't want that to be, and if it is, I'm sorry,

and I apologize, but it's almost this deal of places where we're afraid or we feel broken, God wants to use for his glory. Well, you literally say, I'll let you finish this sentence. Everyone, I want you to hear this. This is like, this is gonna go viral, this sentence right here.

Because no one phrases things this way You are the answer to someone's prayers Come on. You are you are you're Your action Your movement Your discernment Your touch Your platform your discernment, your touch, your platform, is what someone has been waiting for.

And you have no idea. Yes. You have no idea. That dream that you have, that you've been a little bit timid about and trepidation, there are people on the other side of those dreams. Yeah. Like your dad. That's exactly the other side of those dreams. Yeah. Like your dad. That's exactly the example I'm thinking of. I'm telling you man, like your dad wanted,

he didn't want to be an alcoholic, but there was someone who said, you know what, I'm going to go talk to this guy. That person was an answer literally to my prayers as his son. Literally. That's, I'm reading your book and I was getting emotional. One, there's actionable things. At my age now, in my experience, I put things through my, do I believe that meter? Do you know what I mean? I'm 51, and everything I'm reading, I'm like, that's right, that's right.

That's a way better way to say it. I've never heard that before. That person, and by the way, I know who they are now. Ironically, I can't say his last name because it's an anonymous program, but I'll just say something interesting. My name's Ed, my dad's name's Ed, my grandfather's name's Ed,

and the person who helped my dad get sober is Ed. That's not a very common name anymore, right? And so I actually know who this person was. This is the Ed Myron Show.