THE ED MYLETT SHOW - 7 Signs You’re Not in Control of Your Life | Ed Mylett

Episode Date: February 21, 2026

What if the most dangerous thing in your life isn’t failure… but the fact that you’re not the one driving? In this mashup episode, I’m bringing together two men who know what it feels like to lose control of their lives and then fight their way back into the driver’s seat. Darren Waller and Rod Carew open up about addiction, pressure, identity, faith, and the discipline it takes to reclaim your life when it starts spiraling. I share a story in this episode about a terrifying cab ride I took with my daughter. For 25 minutes, we were completely out of control. Someone else was driving recklessly, and we were just passengers in the back seat. That experience became a metaphor for something I see all the time. So many people are not actually driving their own lives. Their fears are driving. Their past is driving. Their addiction to approval is driving. Their anger, insecurity, comparison, or trauma is driving. And they are just along for the ride, hoping it does not end in a crash. Darren Waller talks about what it was like when addiction was behind the wheel of his life. From the outside, he was living the dream. Inside, he was losing control. He shares how recovery forced him to confront what was really driving him and how taking radical ownership changed everything. Rod Carew shares his journey from humble beginnings to Hall of Fame greatness, and how discipline, faith, and personal responsibility kept him focused when the spotlight and expectations could have easily taken over. This episode is about awareness. You cannot fix what you are unwilling to face. If you are reacting instead of choosing, if your emotions are dictating your behavior, if you keep repeating the same patterns and calling it bad luck, there is a good chance you are not in control. And the truth is, until you decide to take the wheel back, your life will keep zigging and zagging in ways you do not want. I want you walking away from this conversation asking yourself one powerful question: Who is driving my life right now? Because once you are honest about that, you can change it. You can grab the wheel. You can slow things down. You can choose a different direction. But you cannot do that if you stay in the back seat. Key Takeaways The 7 signs you may not be in control of your own life How fear silently dictates your decisions and limits your future Darren Waller’s journey from addiction to elite performance Rod Carew’s discipline blueprint for staying grounded in success Why radical ownership is the first step to real freedom How to move from being reactive to being intentional The one question that can instantly shift your trajectory This is your wake up call. You were not born to sit in the back seat of your own life. It is time to take control. 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ←  ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FACEBOOK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LINKEDIN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WEBSITE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Edmiler Show. Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Edmilet show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Hi, everybody. Welcome back to the show.

So today I want to share an experience with you that I had recently that really made me reflect on life in general and how we all operate our lives. And so here's what happened. I was on a daddy-daughter trip with a dad-daughter trip with. my daughter, not that long ago, Bella. We were in Boston, and we had gone out to dinner one night. And after dinner, we called a cab, and a cab came and picked us up. And when we got in the cab, I could tell this guy that was driving the cab was an odd dude. He was kind of agitated and fidgety. And we both kind of looked at each other and kind of smirked, thinking this could be interesting.

And it really got interesting. And so I'm going to tell you this story, but I tell you this story under the premise that it made me look at life in general. And being, in control in our life or who or what is in control and how terrifying it can be in our lives to feel out of control. And frankly, in my work, so many people I meet are not in control of their lives. They're not in control of their emotions, their behaviors, and something else is always driving what they're doing. When you can uncover who's really driving in your life, what's driving the way you behave, what's driving the results of your life, you can have a significant breakthrough. And believe it or not, this evening, I had one. So here's what happens. Bella and I have

dinner. And it was a great dinner. So great to be able to get away with just one of your children at some time. And so we just had an incredible experience and that ended up being a great weekend. But this night was terrifying. And so we get into this cab and we begin to drive and immediately this guy takes off screeches out. I say, hey man, you know, hang on a second. I've got the most precious commodity in the world back here with me, which is my daughter, right? And this is, This guy starts to accelerate. And my daughter and I ended up being on a 25-minute ride that was one of the most terrifying experiences of both of our lives where we were totally out of control and at the mercy

of this person. I don't know if you ever had a cab ride to some of these cities, but sometimes it can almost be funny. You're sitting back there going to crazy things they'll do. Sometimes it's so scary, you're almost laughing. I don't know if you ever had that experience before in a cab, but where they're just driving crazy and cutting people off and not breaking and running red lights. And if you ever did that yourself, or even if you were riding with the front of your car, be like, hey, slow down, take it easy. You're going to kill us here.

For some reason, these things happen in cabs I found in my life. But this one was a totally different level. And so he hits the accelerator so quickly. We're both thrown back into the seat where it and I can't move forward. And I'm trying to tell this guy, because there's a cage, you know, between you and the front. Hey, man, slow down. And my daughter starts laughing, I think out of fear. You know, that giggle where you're kind of scared. and I start kind of laughing at first as well. We find ourselves doing over 60 miles an hour in the beginning of this ride on one-way streets in Boston. I don't know if you ever been to cities like Boston before. These are one-way streets. You should be going 15 miles an hour maximum. It's dark out. The lights aren't on. Her and I don't know the city very well, and we're doing

60 miles an hour. We almost hit a parked car. Then we take a left, almost hit an uncommon car because he took a left turn onto the wrong way of a one way, and he's zooming out of it. We're doing 60 miles an hour. And everywhere we went around corners, around bends, the car's almost skidding, and we're both yelling him, stop, stop, and he's not. He thinks because we laughed in the beginning,

but somehow we're enjoying this, and he's actually doing more of it. And it gets to the point where we end up zooming towards this fork in the road, and now we're doing about 80 miles an hour. on a road that should be maybe 15 miles an hour maximum. And what happened throughout this ride is we lost total control of our lives. I mean, complete control. We are at the mercy of this person driving.

And you know what it's like when you get in a cab. I've never met him before. I don't know his background. I don't know what drugs may be going through his system. I've got my daughter back here whose life I'm now in fear of. I'm in fear of my own life at the same time. And we're going so fast. We're jammed in the back by these seatbelts.

this was not a normal crazy cab ride. This was something else. And it was a terrifying experience to be totally out of control. And this pilot, this person driving up front owned our lives. Our entire lives were in his hands and they weren't in very good hands. And when I tell you that this is the most crazy ride of my life, we ended up pulling on to the on ramp of the freeway going the wrong way at one point, heading on to the wrong way of an on-ramp, certainly towards our deaths. This just happened. And he catches himself, throws it in reverse, does about 30 miles an hour in reverse where we're weaving back and forth the wrong way now, and then back. And we end up flying. You can probably picture what this experience was like for us. And now I'm yelling at the guy.

You know, you can imagine the words coming out of my mouth. But he's not stopping because he's so worked up, probably whatever was in his system at the time, and we finally pull up to the valet at the hotel. We were blessed to be staying at a pretty nice hotel, and I could see the valets could see us coming, because you could hear the engine roaring from a couple blocks away. You can picture this, and it's dark out, it's raining a little bit now. You can hear our car coming. And we finally corner around the hotel, and he screeches into the valet. And of course, we spent those 25 minutes totally out of control in our lives, someone else driving everything. And as a control freak in my own life, it was a terrifying experience. So I will get into what

happened after that, but I had my daughter get out of the car. I said, Bella, get out of the car. And me and this man exchanged a few words. It wasn't really very intense because I was still in such shock. Frankly, in hindsight, I wish I was more aggressive with him. And I paid the fare and I shut the door. And here's what happens next. He takes off out of the valet, full speed, and now I'm telling the valet. I'm in the middle of telling the valet my daughter and I what this experience just was, and we watched the car. He is still within sight distance of the valet. And he hits a car head on. Then he hits a parked car. This was within eye shot of where we were, about 35 to 40 seconds after he dropped us off, he was in a very serious car accident.

Now fortunately, by the way, we're just out of the car. So my daughter and I were seconds away from being in that accident. Now fortunately, the people that he hit ended up being okay, and I believe he was okay. And I tell you all of that story because I believe it was a tremendous metaphor for our lives. Number one, it was a terrifying experience. The terrifying part wasn't necessarily just the fear that we were going to hurt ourselves or be killed or hurt someone else, but it was this notion of being completely out of control and something and someone else was driving everything.

And I think a lot of people's lives are that way. If you could picture that car ride, I want you to picture your life. And I want to ask you a question, because that crash, is inevitable if something or someone else is driving things behind the scenes in our subconscious mind or in our emotions or even spiritually. We were seconds away from that crash. And my fear is that so many of you, including myself sometimes, have something or someone else driving and that we're not in control of our choices and our decisions and that we don't do a self-audit regularly enough to say, what's driving my behavior? What's driving these results I'm getting? Who's

really in control here? Am I really in control of my life? My in control of my decisions. My in control of the choices that I'm making. And more often than not, someone else or something else behind the scenes subconsciously and sometimes even consciously is in control of our lives and we live our lives out of control. Before I get into some of the teaching that I want to share with you, I want to ask you a question, do you really feel like you're in control of your life? Do you really feel like you're in control of your choices. Or far too often are you a passenger in the backseat of your own life? Out of control. Zigging and zagging dangerously through your life, maybe even more dangerously than most people know. Maybe more on the edge than most people could ever possibly understand or realize.

And I have to tell you, those experiences are terrifying. Not only in that car that night, and what ends up happening at some point is there's a crash. And the carnage can be terrible in our lives. And so let's ask ourselves together today, myself included, who's driving right now for you in your lives? Are you in the backseat, a passenger in your own life, and something or someone else is driving most of your life in control of too many aspects of your life? And so let's look at what some of those things could be that may possibly be driving things. Number one, are your fears the driver of your life? Is that who's in control? Is that who's really driving who guides things? And you're a pastor in their back seat sort of being thrown around out of control because your fears drive your

choices and your behaviors in your life? Could that be what's driving right now? And if fears are driving your life, ultimately there will be a crash. If fears are driving your life, you are in the back seat of your life, not in the front seat driving, not in control of your life. And Fears could ultimately be driving most of the choices you're making in your life, most of the feelings you have in your life, and most of the results of your life. For far too many people, the front seat is being driven by their fears, and they're in the backseat at the whims and choices and decisions that their fears make on their behalf. Maybe it's not your fears.

Maybe it's some other person's opinion that you're worried about. Maybe it's judgment still from parents. I have a very good friend of mine who told me recently, she said, I'm still trying to get the approval of my dad, and my father's been passed away for 15 years. Is it some other person's opinion that's driving the choices? You're afraid of the hate you might get from them, the criticism, the ridicule, the frustration? Do you live with someone whose emotions are on edge all the time, and you're afraid of their anger? You're afraid of them lashing out.

You're afraid of their judgment. You're afraid of their emotions ups and downs. roller coaster type person in your life, you're afraid of them. Maybe you don't phrase it that way, but you don't want to offend them. You don't want to work them up. You don't want to poke them too much. Or maybe you've got a parent or a friend or a group of people that you're afraid of their judgment and their opinion, what they'll think of you if you really were authentic and vulnerable about who you are and what you want and what the emotions are that you have in your life. So you wear a mask, you pretend to be somebody that you're not to please these people.

Is some other person's opinion driving your life? Is it both of them? Is it your fears that drive sometimes? And then when your fears decide to get in the passenger seat, some other people's opinion, they're driving now, but you're still on the back seat totally out of control. By the way, sometimes we fear the opinion of an imaginary person who doesn't even exist,

but we're just worried about what they're going to think. even know who they are or what they're thinking, but we don't want to mess it up. And that's a person who lives out of control, just zigging and zagging out of life, half the time going the wrong way, throwing it in reverse. Really scary way to live our lives, yet so many people live an unexamined life. By the way, I think to some extent I'm talking to myself. I'm a control freak. I know that. and I know that in that car that night, I didn't like not being in control. But I do know that there's been times of my life where there are other things that control me. I wonder, why did I make that choice? Why did I say that?

Why can't I get control of my emotions? Why do I keep falling into this pattern? So I relate. Let me ask you this. Maybe it's not fears. Maybe it's not someone's other opinion. Maybe it is. Maybe it's just an old story that's in control of your life.

There's a story you keep telling yourself about your past, about someone who hurt you, or some harm that was done, or some failure of yours, and you just keep this old story going, and it's controlling your entire life. It drives everything you do to this day. Some old story that you just keep carrying and carrying and carrying. My mom did this, my dad did that, my sister this, that divorce, this person hurt me. It may even be a true story. But that old story is driving the car of your life, not your. you. You've allowed this story, true or not, let's just assume it's true, to control your life. And until you let go of that story, until you surrender that, yes, that happened, but I'm going to

create a new story, I'm going to tell you where I'm going, that old story keeps driving. And by the way, that old story, you know what it does? It takes you on the same road, the same time over and over and over again. It's like having no navigational equipment, no steering wheel, no brake, no accelerator, it's just on autopilot. It's like having an auto-driven car, but you don't even need to be driving. And it's just this story just drives your life, and it's been driving it for too long. So maybe it's an old story that's driving your life. And that story's in control of your life, not you. Let me say this halfway through on these different choices. You were born to be in control of your life, you and God, you and your higher power,

you and your faith partnering together. Your fears aren't those to be in the front seat driving your life, with you in the backseat, some spectator being thrown around, afraid. Other people's opinions, parents, siblings, friends, imaginary people that don't even exist, their opinions, shouldn't be driving your life, but behind the scenes. Let's just be real.

That's who's driving. That's who's in control. This old story that you keep telling, stop. It's control. your entire life. It allows you to make no new turns. See no beautiful new vistas. Take in anything brand new because you keep repeating the same story on the same track and the same map. So last week, I'm on stage speaking. I got a new shirt on. Got a bunch of DMs from my friends that were there going, you're looking pretty fly, Milet, you're looking pretty sharp. Then I get

off the stage and the producer says, hey, I like that button up look on you. Guess where I got it all from? Quince, it's true. It's a great place to buy clothes that look good, feel good, and it's affordable. And there's the biggest thing. I'm not breaking the bank this year on clothes and I'm probably sure you don't want to do that either. So that cashmere sweater you're looking at, you can get it there ridiculously soft. Doesn't cost a fortune. The button up shirt I was wearing last week, that's where I got it. Let me just tell you something. I also like this. If it doesn't fit, send it back, they'll send you the one that does. They're awesome. I'm getting, I don't know, 50% of my wardrobe now, all from Quince. So refresh your wardrobe with

Quince. Go to quince.com slash ed for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too, by the way. That's quince, quince, com slash ed. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com

slash ed. So you know what, everybody, I really appreciate the comments about I've gotten a lot leaner and built more muscle this year and it was really intentional. And I was thinking, how can I get ahead on my fitness? Because I already pretty fit and worked out. And it was how I'm eating. And that's where Factor came in.

Factor doesn't ask you to meal prep or follow recipes. It just removes the entire problem. Two minutes, real food, bam, done. And so once I started eating healthier and using Factor, not only did I get a lot leaner, but I built more muscle. And the truth is, guys, I had more energy. And what I love about Factor's already made by chefs, designed by dieticians and delivered to your door.

You should be in Factor's world, just like I am. Head to factormeals.com slash my let 50 off. And use code my let 50 off to get 50 off your first factor box plus free breakfast for a year. Offer only valid for new customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with factor. Maybe it's not an old story. Maybe it is. Maybe it's your emotions that are in charge of your life.

Do you have a tendency to get to sadness too quickly? quickly? Anger? Anxiety? I think in my case, if I were being honest, I think many times my emotions have taken the front seat and they've driven. I've allowed my emotions to be the driver. I've had a propensity when I was younger. I think anger, I'd have these outbursts. Maybe some of you relate to this. And then later I feel so bad. Why was I so worked up? Why did this emotion take over and drove for that entire hour of my life, that entire day, that entire week of my life? That life. Maybe some of you wake up and you have this pattern of sadness, this emotion keeps popping up, and it's in control of your life. It takes the decisions or the lack thereof that you keep making.

Maybe it's anxiety. I don't know which one it is, but these emotions are in control of your life. Not you. They drive your proverbial life for you. It's a scary thing, isn't it, when you feel, if you're one of these people where your emotions start to, you go, you know it, right? It's coming. And these emotions start driving and you're not in control and you can't stop it. You can't turn it off. And then later you look back with regret and you're frustrated with yourself. I think a self-audit right now, some self-reflection, some examination as I'm talking, there are emotions that are driving? Is that the driver that's so scary? That cab driver that night was pretty name. scary, right? Maybe anger is your cab driver. Maybe sadness is your cab driver. Maybe anxiety is your

cab driver. Maybe your old story is your cab driver. Maybe other people's opinions. Maybe it's your fears. But when emotions drive our lives, we are an out-of-control human being. And by the way, even those of you that hang on for those rare moments of total joy, total bliss, those little fractional moments that you're going to get, let's just be honest, one to five, maybe 10% of the time at best in your life. You're going to hang on and delay all of the great things in your life just for those fleeting moments of some little, you know, hit of bliss as opposed to you being in charge of your life and allowing yourself to experience the emotions you want anytime you want. You dictate the story. You dictate the opinion. You push away the feet. You push away the

fears. You choose the emotions. The emotions don't choose for you. Maybe it's not that. Maybe who's driving is your lack of belief. Maybe it's your lack of self-confidence and belief in yourself. And that lack of belief, that lack feeling that you have for yourself is really in control of your life. That's the cab driver. The cab driver of your life is, I don't believe in myself. So that I don't believe in myself is the cab driver. It drives every choice I make. It's why I avoid taking risks. It's why I don't date or I don't see people or I don't start a business or I don't really go for it in my business or I don't start building my personal brand or I don't write that book or I don't give that speech or I don't reach out to that person that I want to reconcile with. My lack of belief

is the cab driver of my life. I'm totally out of control if I'm being honest because this lack of belief is going on behind the scenes. It's this loop that I keep running. That's who's really driving my life, not me. So is it your lack of belief? Maybe it's not. Maybe it's not lack of belief, maybe it's just your patterns. You've developed these patterns in your life of thoughts, most of which were installed in you when you were very, very young, and you have these patterns that you just keep repeating over and over. I think of a few friends of mine, and why does it surprise us when someone behaves like who they are? You know, I have a few friends I think of recently. Like they made some choices that, you know, they've always made these choices. They just,

You know, they can go for five months or a year or eight months being a better version of themselves, but ultimately they do the same thing they've always done. They go back into the same pattern, the same choice, the same self-destruction, the same pain they cause other people, the same selfishness, whatever it might be. Their patterns are in total control of their life. And so they can go a little while. It's almost like an alcoholic who's like, I can quit for a month, I can quit for six months, So I can quit for eight months.

Eventually that pattern comes back again. And so are your patterns, the cab driver of your life? Are they the ones in charge? Do your patterns eventually come back and they kind of rule the roost? What about this? Maybe you as a child is still in control of your life. Things that happened to you when you were a child, the thoughts you had as a child, the mindset, the identity you developed as a child, the five-year-old you still in charge, the eight-year-old you still in charge, the 12-year-old you still in charge.

Not the adult, well-read, someone listening to personal development, listen to the best in the world, listen to me right now. Not all the stuff you've learned, but it's your patterns, or it's you as a child that's in charge. And this little girl or little boy is still in charge of your life rather than this grown, strong woman who's capable of taking charge and being the driver, this grown strong man who can make new choices and new decisions and create a new life and treat people differently and feel differently. That's not who's driving. That's not who's in charge. You're in the back seat and the five-year-old U's in the front seat driving. Nothing scarier than a child driving the car of life. Nothing scarier than a child. Can you imagine a seven-year-old driving that cab through Boston that night? But so many of you, the seven-year-old you,

is driving you through this entire life, this nine-year-old, this five-year-old, this two-year-old. Time for that to stop. And then lastly, you know what? Maybe there's just another person who's in control of you. Maybe there's a person in your life that you've allowed to take control of you. And those of you that are in that situation, right when I said it, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Those you that have a girlfriend that's living like that or a buddy of yours that's living like that, you know exactly what I'm talking about. This other person controls them. They've allowed this

other person to take control of their life, to be in charge of their life, pleasing them, not offending them, making them happy, making them comfortable, pulling them out of their emotional turmoil, tried to avoid that person's emotional outburst or their ridicule in their life. So many people have entered a dependent-type relationship, a codependent, type relationship with a friend or a loved one, their significant other. And the truth is, that other person's in control of your life or their life and not you. And you weren't born to have another person control your life. Nobody is that important that they should be in control of your life, nor should you be in control of their life. And maybe if you're that type of person who you have

this propensity that's going to control people, maybe you need to evaluate that today and say, what am I doing to this person in their life? And if you're being controlled by another person, you've got to ask yourself, when did I surrender control to this person? And how do I get this back? Because all of these things are equally or more scary

than that cab ride I had that night. Because all you got is this one life. All you've got is this one life, this precious life that you were born to do something great with, that you're supposed to be born to help other people, to live with great emotions, to make great contributions in your life, to have tremendous memories. Not every moment of life is supposed to be blissful and perfect.

But the truth of the matter is, you should have more bliss, more abundance, more success, more wealth, more contribution, more memories maybe than you're getting right now. And it's a scary way to go through life. I want to challenge you today to evaluate what I've covered, to get out of the back seat of your life, to stop allowing your fears, other people's opinions, old stories, your emotions, your lack of belief, your patterns, your inner child, or another human being to control your life, and you step forward and get in the driver's seat again. And so that these crashes don't keep

happening. This journey of life is supposed to be a rather beautiful one where we have these awakenings and breakthroughs and discoveries and understandings, I like to say that I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. Whatever that means. For some of you, it's the expansion of your contribution, it's the expansion of your emotions, it's the expansion of your wealth, the expansion of your company, the expansion of the relationships you have, expansion of the difference that you can make. But none of those things are possible if you aren't in the driver's seat, if you aren't in control of your life. And I don't want you to be standing around waiting for that inevitable crash that we saw at the valet that night. You weren't born for that. You were born to do something beautiful and

magnificent with your life. And so I hope today you take an evaluation of who's really in charge, who's really doing the driving in your life. And as I've listed these different drivers in life, these different things that can take control of our lives, that you eliminate the ones that impact you the most and you switch seats and you move them to the back seats, not like they're always just going to go away instantaneously. Let me be very clear. When you make decisions like this, they don't just disappear. But if you can move them to the back seat and you step forward in the front seat, now you're driving and they're spectating. They'll do their best to climb in that front seat from time to time. But if you understand who they are and you're aware of them,

you can move them back there anytime you need to and you can drive the results in the emotions of your life. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So this is an interview a couple years in the making. We've been going back and forth trying to get this scheduled for a while because I'm a huge fan of this man. He's an NFL football player. He's one of the best tight ends in the NFL. And we will talk a little football today. but really today has very little to do with football and everything to do about changing your life.

And this man's done that. He's immensely qualified. I think he may be the most interesting athlete currently in the world because of his background, his trials and tribulations, what he's had to overcome. And then the way that he expresses his message and his content, I think is going to leave many of you today with a memory you will not soon forget.

And so New York Giants' tight end, Darren Waller finally Welcome to the show It's great to have you Oh man it's a perfect time Man yeah we've been working on this But I'm so grateful to be here You got a quote

I want to ask you what this means By the way I've never done this before I have guys listen to the show Where I read someone's quotes back to them That's how good they are And I'm sure you took these from other places But you live by them which is what matters to me May your choices reflect your hopes

Not your fears What do you mean when you say that And how's that manifest itself Yeah, I would say that, you know, the life that we want, I feel like the circumstances that we want, the state of mind that we want is all like reflected upon, reflected from the choices that we make on a day to day. And I feel like, you know, at the very beginning, the choices that I make, I have to be able to trust myself and respect the choices that I make. And from there, when I do that, I feel like I can look to the future with hope and, like, maintain a vision of, like, what I want my life to look like. And, okay, like, that's the mountaintop. It's like, all right, what are the choices that are in the individual steps that are going to take me to get there and just keep those things as simple as possible?

Like, what can I get to, what can I do today in this moment or within this hour that can, you know, move me closer to or, you know, create the heart and the mind and the framework in me. to handle that success or handle that level of anointing, like, what can I do today to move me towards that? Because a lot of times we can look at that mountain. I'm victim of it too of like, man, that's super high up. Like, dang, I don't know if I'm going to get there. And what if I fall off? What if I don't make it? What are these people going to think about me? And you start to do things out of making sure that you don't look bad or making sure that you don't slip or making sure that you don't lose when really, like, there are certain losses and failures that need to happen along the probably to help you get to where you want to go. And that's with that hope. That doesn't always

mean that everything is going to go your way. But it does mean that you're moving in that direction and learning the things and just live in a real life of like everything's not always going to be wins. Everything's not always going to be positive. But I can, if I'm maintaining that hope and that faith through those circumstances is what's preparing me to make whatever I want, whatever vision I have to become reality, I guess. Yeah, you got to ask yourself, everybody, if you're listening to this, how many choices do you think you make on a daily basis out of fear? And how many do you actually make out of hope or your vision or your dream? Be a really interesting thing to ask yourself. Because your autopilot is one or the other. And I will tell you that I think

90 plus percent of people, their autopilot is to operate to avoid pain or out of fear. And he's raising his hand. And it is not out of dream, vision. I'm actually doing a podcast on this later today. It's not out of the ladder, which is dreams, hopes, faith. We don't make our choices unconsciously that way. It's something worth looking at. And what if you could just change that by 20%? That 20% of the time, at least you moved out of hope and faith and dreams. How do you deal with doubt, Darren?

I mean, I got to think, first off, being a top level athlete, there's a lot of doubt. Sobriety, there's doubt. Coming out and doing this today, you know, putting yourself out on social media like you do daily, teaching these lessons. I'm sure not everyone's like, that's amazing what you're doing and wondering whether or not, you know, like you said, you've made some mistakes. I have these thing I'm doing right now where I say there's four Ds that I think the adversary or the devil uses to get us off our dreams. And the four are discouragement, doubt, delusion, and delay. Doubt's a huge one. There's probably not a human watching this today or listening to it who does not struggle

with some degree of doubt. And when they look at a dude like either like 6-6, 250, super handsome dude millions of dollars accolades he probably has no doubts does he and how does he deal with him if he does man that takes me to one specific moment there was a 2020 season which was my best season and i had a 200-yard game that year we played the jets and there's like only six dudes at my position in the history of the league that have done that and i remember you know you play sunday monday is like a lift, watch the film, then Tuesday's your off day, and then Wednesday is your first day at practice out of the game.

And we're at Wednesday in practice. I'm lining up routes on air against like no defender out there, just catching the pass, just getting warmed up. And in my mind, I'm like, all right, like, got to catch this, don't drop this pass. I'm like, I just came off a 200-yard game where I caught everything that was throwing at me. Could not be stopped.

But here I am on Wednesday, like, I hope I catch this pass with no defender covering me. So it's like, even in the midst of success, and doing a lot of great things, I'm still battling that doubting mind because it was widened me since I was a kid of like, I don't know if these people are going to accept me. I don't know if I'm,

you know, safe here. I don't know if my performance is ever going to be enough. And then it's like you do a performance that is not just more than enough, but historically recognized. And I still am like, I hope I catch this pass in practice. Like, it's a real thing.

And it constantly has to be revisited and and sat with honestly, like when it's when doubt comes like I'm I was used to numbing it like with pills, with drinking with women like whenever when doubt comes in. But it's really sitting with that doubt and being like, well, why am I afraid of that? Like what does like what is the worst possible thing that could happen? And am I, could I handle that? Like, you know, so my points at me and last or says something in the comments like because I fail like can I like what about that scares me so much? And now kind of point you to more towards answers. So, So it's something I'm going to unpacking in my life.

That's fascinating to me that you have 200 yards against, you know, the best defenders in the league and all these schemes. And by the time you got 80 yards, they're scheming to shut you down. So you end up getting 200. And now you're worried about catching a pass in the air with nobody covering you, right? And one of the lessons from that that I've learned, Darren, because, you know, my work with athletes, but just humans is a lot of us think, well, failure causes doubt. And it does. But one of the great triggers of doubt is progress. When you're making progress, it's a huge doubt trigger because now you're going into uncharted territory.

And what starts to happen in your mind is you start thinking the tools that got me here aren't going to get me beyond here. And it starts triggering these doubts. So just remember this, everybody. That's why most people don't succeed long term. Because their results start to exceed their identity. And what they do is they cool their life back down. They're like, I'm going to doubt myself right back to where I'm comfortable. 200 yards.

I've never done that in an NFL game before. Let me cool this thing back down where I get 40 next game and drop a couple passes, right? And if you're on audio, he's nodding like smiling because progress is a great trigger of doubt in your life. It's a huge one. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes.

You'll never miss an episode that way. Welcome back to Max Out, everybody. I'm Ed Milet. And today I'm extremely excited to share these thoughts with you because I think what we're going to cover today, be the single most important thing that will lead to you reaching the ultimate version of yourself your optimal results your max out level of play or not ever getting there and so it's that important to me you know people ask me often what were some of the decisions and choices and areas I focused on that made

the biggest difference for me in my life and today's topic is the thing that I would probably give you the gift of first and that is the power of your identity see I believe the most powerful force in the world is to be consistent with The thoughts, ideas, concepts, and beliefs you hold to be true about yourself. And that is what identity is. Identity is the governor on every single area of your life. It literally sets the temperature for all of the conditions of your life. Shakespeare has this incredible quote that says,

we know what we are, but not what we may be. And the who you may be is going to be dictated by your ability to alter your identity. Because you are going to always be consistent with what you believe you're worth and what you believe you deserve, or what is your identity? Your identity, the best analogy I could give you is like a thermostat sitting on the wall of your life. It sets the entire temperature for the conditions of your life in multiple areas.

And so most people think their life is dictated by external circumstances. They spend their entire life trying to control what is outside of them. You've all heard the great saying that people in 12-step programs talk about about learning to control the things they can and letting go of the things that they can't control.

And the fact of the matter is you cannot always control the external factors that are impacting you in your life. The good news is it's the external things in your life that do not dictate the direction or the ultimate destination of your life. That is a fallacy. Listen to me when I tell you this. External circumstances do not dictate the ultimate destination of your life. It's an internal game. You and your faith, your God, are what will control the direction of your life, not the external things that are impacting you all the time. time and this identity is that internal thermostat it sets the temperature just like a thermostat sitting on the wall of the conditions of your entire life let me give an example of how the thermostat of our lives works the best analogy i could give you is exactly how one works in the room i'm sitting in it sets the temperature of the room and so the external conditions don't impact

the internal temperature of this room because that thermostat regulates the condition of the room so if we open the door in the windows in this room and cold air blue in here the thermostat would kick on wouldn't it and heat the room back up to 75 degrees so no matter what hit it it regulates the temperature of the room the reverse is also true of a bunch of hot air blue in the room if we open the doors in the windows the thermostat would cool the room back down and regulate it to 75 degrees guess what that's exactly how your life works once you accept this truth it is a fact that is not the external things that are happening it's the internal thermostat too often in life people don't work on changing their identity they're always working on producing external results

have you ever known somebody who was wealthy and no longer is have you ever known somebody who made a bunch of money and no longer does how about somebody who was in a great relationship and that relationship no longer exists how about someone who got in great shape that is no longer in that shape again if your results begin to exceed your internal thermostat you will find a way to cool your life back down to what you believe you're worth and you're comfortable at your identity you'll think it's coincidental oh I was this accident happened or this appointment canceled or this circumstance took place it's

not coincidence all of those things have happened because you set the thermostat of your life and you've regulated what you're going to get isn't that incredible that you can learn all the talents the behaviors the skills the tactics all the strategies that I teach you but if you don't alter that thermostat internally you could have all of the skills of a hundred degree producer and you will live a 75 degree existence because you will turn the air condition of your life on back down to cool it where you're comfortable it's also true by the way you've seen this in your own life maybe you've

had something really good going in business before you've got momentum it seems like things are happening great and then you wake up four five six months later and you've cooled your life your business right back down to where it was before maybe you'd save some money at one time and then coincidentally your car broke down or a bill happened or there was a run of birthday parties and all of a sudden that bank accounts back to where it always was it's not coincidental you've cooled the conditions back down again and so you've seen this happen maybe you've gotten great shape at one point but your identity wasn't that fit a person and you've cooled it back down to about what you're comfortable being this is true in your faith in your relationships by the way

you have multiple thermostat settings you have one in your faith you have one in your fitness one in your money one in your happiness right one in your business life so there's multiple identities we have the reverse is also true there's been times of your life where the circumstances the conditions were terrible you thought you'd never get out of it you're never going to eat again again well guess what you ate again didn't you and you heated your life back up to that same place again so you've proven this over and over in your life haven't you so have I so has every single human being the governor on our life the

regulator of our life is our identity which is the internal thermostat that sets the temperature for our life so the key in life is to learn all the thoughts the skills the tactics and the strategies that can heat our life up in the areas that matter most to us but if we don't simultaneously Change the conditions of our thermostat. Change what we're comfortable living at. Change our identity, our worth. Change the thoughts, beliefs, concepts, and value we hold to ourselves.

We will cool or heat our life back to that regulated temperature. And so I'm telling you, the overall key to changing the external conditions of your life is changing that internal thermostat setting. So that's what we're going to talk about some strategies on today. Just being aware that you need to alter the thermostat is a, life-changing, liberating condition. I cover this in very specific detail and hashtag Max Out Your Life, my book. It's a quick read, 100 pages.

I wrote it so that every page has strategies on it, no fluff. If you want the book, go to maxoutbook.com. If you put in the code Max Out, I'll buy the book for you. So I cover this in detail there, but I want to cover it in detail right now with you as well. What you need to be doing is becoming aware of how important it is that you adjust this thermostat setting as you produce better results, as you start to learn new skills and strategies and tactics see you can move from an average business into an extraordinary business with incredible opportunity but you will produce the

same results you're getting in the average business if you don't change that thermostat setting up to 95 or 100 or 120 degrees of what you believe you're worth the thoughts concepts and beliefs you hold true to be about yourself so it is the regulator on our lives and it's the main thing I work on with my private coaching with some of the elite performers I work with in business and athletics and entertainment and politics is me working with them on changing that internal thermostat where we can heat it higher and higher and higher

so that they can produce the results and the conditions of their life stay and exceed those levels all the time in fact in my own life I'm always working on myself confidence I'm working on my tactics and strategies my ability to influence right my thoughts all of those different things but the thing I'm most obsessed about that I know is gonna get me to the ultimate version of me is constantly elevating the temperature in the areas that matter to me adjusting that thermostat setting higher and higher and higher and higher so

that I can get those conditions to match it because it always will you will always get your thermostat setting always in your life so can I give you any insights as to how to change that thermostat setting I can let me give you a couple the most powerful way and the easiest way to change your thermostat setting is by adding people to your circle very close proximity that live at a higher temperature in that area than you do for example in your faith let's just say you're a 75 degree or in your faith you've already seen this you can't possibly begin to regularly associate with good

godly people who pray regularly who try to live righteously and they're 110 120 degrees of faith in their life and not have that proximity heat you up now you won't get to where they are you'll get to somewhere between where you are at 75 degrees and they are at 110 over time you become a hundred degree and you alter the thermostat setting through association same in business if you and I were to hang around each other every single day and let's say you were a 75 degree or in business hypothetically and I don't know that about you but let's just say you were and I was a

150 degreeer and we hung around each other all the time don't you think through that association regular especially if you had two or three or four people like me in your life that just over time you don't even feel it you're at 80 you're at 85 you're at 90 you're at 95 and that's where you are we understand the power of this with our children because we know at school the teachers have influence over them they're mentors but the people that really have influence over our children are their friends because they're around them all the time and so we know it sets their temperature this is true in in fitness if you're

75 degree of fitness at every meal every day at the gym all your associations hypothetically speaking were with someone who was shredded and fit the way you wanted to look at 150 degrees you know over time you get heated up and so you can't be with someone every day you can't be with them all the time but the key is to get more proximity in the areas that matter with people whose thermostat setting is higher than yours. I am a product. You are listening to me right now because I've been so obsessed

with this concept of adding new associations to my life that live in the areas that I want to improve in at higher temperatures than me. It's my obsession to this day. I'll give you a secret. One of the reasons I even do my show is I know that I'm influencing many of these guests in the areas that matter most of them through our proximity.

And in some cases, they do it for me. And so I'm obsessed with the power of association but I don't just associate. See, all personal says, yeah, you're the five people you hang around. Kind of. You really are the five, the ten people you hang around if you're conscious all the time of studying them, of observing them, of asking questions, of the fact that you should be altering your thermostat setting.

That's when it really moves. It's not just hanging around. It's consciously and intentionally spending time with people where you allow it to impact you, where you study them, where you really. observe them where you're open to their influence there has to be a level of trust before you can do that where you surrender yourself to them but it's not just being around them it's intentionally being around people that alters that thermostat setting so power of association is the main way to do it second way to alter your identity is in a short window of time behave completely differently and a 30 day window of time

in your fitness life you shock your system into eating or training completely differently than you used to in your business life you make a hundred times more phone calls a hundred more contacts you do something in a very short window of time that shocks you into believing my gosh I could never go back where I was before you trick your brain into believing you're different there's this part of our brain that always wants to be consistent with what we're worth well if in a short window of time I begin to behave completely differently your brain begins to believe you deserve something differently when you begin to do the things nobody else is

willing to do you begin to believe you deserve the results nobody else deserves to get this is important all because it changes the water line it's almost like a water line in the pool if you raise it it leaves a new mark you've ever seen that before in a lake or a pool we raise the water line a short window of time and it just changes the mark in your life it changes the thermostat setting so you can alter things in your life in short bursts and I do this often in an area where I really need to change like right now I just started back on a really seriously deeply committed

fitness journey I want to get back and passed where I've ever been in fitness in my life so I'm going to some of these new associations I'm gonna train with a new group of people because I've been training alone I'm going back to training with some people that are fitter than me men and women that are fitter than me that's my first combination that'll alter my thermostat setting our proximity and secondly I'm going psycho the next 30 days I'm going psycho I'm altering my nutrition of my diet dramatically my workouts dramatically and I'm gonna shock my system

in the next 30 days into changing the water line changing that temperature setting that's the second way you alter identity all the thermostat setting so that you alter the external results. I've said this to you before as well. See, beliefs are so important to guard because once you have a belief, your brain goes to work, and I've said this in another audio video, where your brain has to go to work to prove your beliefs to be true. Your brain literally goes to work on finding the evidence to prove you right. And so that identity, you're constantly reinforcing it.

Let me give you an example of what I mean. If you believe a certain worth about yourself, a certain identity, that is a certain identity, that is a impacts the type of action you're willing to take. So if there's a goal you've got set, it doesn't matter what it is, pick a goal. To the extent that you believe it's consistent with your identity is to the extent that you will make an effort towards it. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy, however, because what happens is if your identity is here and the goal is there, you will only make an effort congruent with what you believe you're worth. And so that limited effort you make produces the result not consistent and it reinforces the belief.

It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. So you set a goal that is inconsistent with an identity you're working on. You will only make an effort consistent with the identity, which you'll get you to hear, doesn't produce the result, and it reinforces this belief you have about yourself. So it's important as you set new goals, as you set new visions, that you also upgrade your identity simultaneously. You're in process of upgrading it because that identity impacts the effort you make, right? impacts the will you put towards it, and that will is reinforced by the lack of result. And so it becomes this self-fulfilling prophecy. So your mind has this belief.

It wants to prove to be true, and it starts to find references. So if you believe you're 75 degrees, it's going to start finding legs to put under that table to make it immobile so it can't move to prove you right. And so our identity equals our effort, and the challenge is that effort produces the result. And so this identity has everything to do with the effort. you make which produces the result which will reinforce the identity or the lack thereof so it's critical that you upgrade identity with your new visions and goals the next layer of this is you need to stop what's no longer needed in other words there were behaviors and thoughts you've had in the

past that were needed to produce the results you currently have but you need to stop what's no longer needed maybe you're continuing a behavior in your life that's no longer needed maybe you're continuing a thought or a worry that at one time was needed but no longer is maybe there's a stress or an anxiety or a belief you're holding true to be about yourself that maybe you needed at some point in your life that you no longer need it could be something to protect yourself from fear to protect yourself from harm or to serve you in getting through a certain circumstance but if we're not conscious of dropping a thought or a behavior that's no longer

needed we take old thoughts old behaviors that serve an old version of ourselves into trying to become the new version of ourselves so ask yourself that question what do I need to drop that's no longer needed is it a person is it a thought is it a behavior or is it an emotion one of those things you probably are carrying with you from the past but maybe you needed to get through a circumstance maybe you needed to get through a relationship through a setback through a failure or just to produce the results you currently get but that thought that behavior that emotion that person is no

longer needed for you to go to the next level of your identity the next level of your performance the next level of yourself and then finally is this if you're stuck you're stuck in a story that's where you're stuck there's a story you're telling yourself that doesn't serve you anymore and you have to evaluate what that story is I'm serious right now if you say Ed I'm kind of stuck where I am but what you need to do is you need to alter your associations you need to do something in a short window of time no question about it you definitely need to evaluate what is no longer needed and evaluate the story you're telling

yourself there's all kinds of stories we tell ourselves that don't serve us anymore this is critical maybe it's a story about your past a story about your parents a story about a previous relationship a story about a success you used to have you keep talking about that doesn't serve you to get to the next level if I can be real with you whatever you've achieved up to this point that story you keep talking about every second you spend in that old story about what you've achieved your degree some business you had one thing you were real successful at in the past every time you

live in that story you're stripping time and focus from the new story what's the new story you're telling yourself you can't have a new identity without a new story what's the old story you keep a being maybe it's not a success maybe it's a failure that you've had it was a business setback it was the market turned it was the economy it was someone who did you wrong a relationship that let you down a business partner who wasn't consistent a failure you've had a port decision you made a mistake you made in your life and you're repeating this story to yourself simultaneously trying to create a new identity you can't take that old story into the new identity

one of the things we have to do to create a new identity is to begin to tell a new story what's your new story who are you now what are you all about now where are you going now what's this new version of you see here's what's amazing at any point in your life you can just decide to write a new script. You can decide to become a whole new character. See, the leading character in the story of your life is you. And guess what? You and God control the script. You could write a new script at any time you want. Listen to me. At any time you want, you can simply decide to be a new character. I'm strong now. I'm beautiful now. I'm handsome now. I'm bold now. I'm funny now. I'm smart now. I'm going there now. Stop telling the old story. Here's the truth.

Nobody cares. No one cares if you had a failure. No one cares if you've had a setback. No one cares if you had a victory. And none of those failures, none of those setbacks, none of those victories. And that old character you keep playing is the very thing that will prevent you from becoming this new version of you. It's a story if you're stuck. It's an old story you're telling with an old character that was last year's version, last decade's version. Who's the new character? What's the new script? What's the new script? What's the old character? What's the old character? What's the new script? the new story I must tell you I have a lot of weaknesses a lot of things I do that don't serve me but this identity thing I get this it's the key now there's a lot of little mini things in life that matter there's never one thing if you said what's the key I can tell you it's my addiction and my obsession to working on my identity it's the thought of mine that dominates most of my thinking that's number one so I'm conscious of the concept that's huge just being aware of the concept will put you light years ahead of 99.9% of it.

Just awareness of the power of identity. Just now you knowing about the thermostat puts you in the 0.1% of all the people on the spinning earth right now. And then the next thing I'm really focused on is always adding people to my life in the areas that matter to me that live at higher temperatures than me. The second thing is I'm constantly doing things in short bursts of time to change the water line. I'm also super obsessed with dropping what's no longer needed.

There were certain things I needed to think and do and say or people I needed to be around, emotions I needed to have that got me to the place I'm currently at. I'm evaluating all the time. What is no longer needed? What emotion? What anxiety? What thought? What belief?

What person? What behavior is no longer needed in my life? And then lastly, I never tell the old story. I don't like telling the old story. I'm constantly trying to write the new script. become the new character in my life and it could just be the new emotions it could be the new beliefs I have it could be the new story the new place I'm moving but I'm constantly retelling a new story all the time I'm constantly obsessed with writing

the next chapter of my life not reading the previous ones the happiest and most fulfilled people don't read the past chapters of their life whether they're good or bad they are writing new ones all the time these are the keys of changing the internal thermostat of our lives and ultimately are the keys of changing the external circumstances of our lives very short intermission here folks i'm glad you're enjoying the show so far don't forget to follow the show on apple and spotify we have all the links in our show notes you'll never miss an episode that way now on with the show today we're going to talk about how to build unlimited self-confidence and the reason that i'm covering this topic today is probably more than any other topic i've been

getting asked lately about the struggles people are going through with self-doubt, not believing in themselves, negative thoughts about themselves. And I believe the solution to self-doubt is to build something bigger than that doubt, which is to build our self-confidence. And one thing to know about the fact that you doubt yourself is one, I struggle with it as well. One of the reasons I've had to go learn to build all these tools for myself is because in my life, my baseball career, my academic career my business career my speaking career I've been riddled with self-doubt that creeps up all the time in our lives am I enough am I good enough do I deserve this is this something that's part of my destiny should I be doing this and if you're a

religious person I believe the adversary if you believe in the adversary I believe the adversary's greatest tool that he could use against you to get you to lose in your life is to get you discouraged and doubting these are two of the most chaotic things that the adversary can do to us or that we do to ourselves in our own minds is to get ourselves doubting, to get ourselves discouraged because you can't win when you doubt and you can't win when you're discouraged. What I found out though about self-doubt is that you don't overcome it, you build something bigger than it, which means you build your self-confidence and the greater and greater self-confidence get, it minimizes the impact self-doubt has on us. Now why is that

so important? It's important because you have to understand one thing about the doubts and the negative thoughts you have about yourself. As hard as this is to accept, these are not your thoughts. You weren't born doubting. You weren't born discouraged. You weren't born thinking negative things about yourself. Those were thoughts that were placed in you and given to you by an external source at some time in your life. It could even be our parents. Don't do that. Be quiet. Sit down. Be a good boy. Be a good girl. Maybe it was criticism you received as a little one that you may not even remember to this day. It could have been a school teacher. It could have been ridicule at school from other children. But when you were young in your formative years, these negative thoughts about

yourself were planted in you by an external source. That's so powerful to understand because these things you think you believe about yourself that have become really true to you. You don't even really believe they were not your original thoughts. But the power of belief is so incredible in our lives. It's so insidious because when we have a belief about something, even if it was given to us by somebody else. Our mind goes to work on proving to us that this belief is true. A belief is almost like this table right here, just the top once we get it.

And what our mind tries to do is it tries to build legs under the table to reinforce that belief. So somebody told you you weren't enough, or you weren't smart enough, or pretty enough, or fast enough, or strong enough, or you don't come from the right place, or you're not in the right culture, the right race, the right religion, the right height, the right IQ as a young person,

or you were put down and these beliefs were given to you, what happens is your mind tries to prove beliefs true, so it finds references. So once you think it, your mind finds an example of your life where you weren't enough, another one where you weren't enough, you weren't smart enough, you weren't pretty enough, you weren't handsome enough, you weren't strong enough. And it finds these references and it builds like a leg

and multiple legs under table and pretty soon you can't move it. And it's stuck in there as a firm belief. That's why we have to guard our beliefs so proud. Because our mind goes to work on finding these legs, these references, which are real experiences in our life, to prove to us that that belief is true. And so although you may believe it to be true about you, these doubts and negative thoughts you have, these were not your original thoughts. That's a powerful thing to understand because you weren't born this way. You weren't born doubting. You were born perfect.

You were born believing you were going to do something great. You were born happy. You were born believing you were going to do something special with your life. As a baby, I promise you. You had no negative self-talk. You had no negative self-doubt. These are external sources. It's so important to know because those thoughts

aren't really who you are. There's somebody else's thoughts they gave you because of how they felt about themselves. And so today we're gonna talk about how to build self-confidence and how to eliminate self-doubt. So how do we build this self-confidence? The process of building self-confidence is actually very easy, believe it or not.

Self-confidence is self-trust. Self-confidence is building a reputation with yourself. that you keep your word to you, that you keep the promises you make to you. When I meet somebody who has a ton of self-confidence, I don't look at that as somebody with a big ego. There's a difference. Somebody with self-confidence has a reputation with themselves

that I do the things I say I'm going to do. That's where self-confidence comes from. When I meet someone who is not self-confident, I know this is someone who has consistently made promises to themselves they've not kept. They've started a diet and done it for a while, but not kept it. They've made a commitment and goals to go make a certain amount of money in business.

And they started down the road, but then they didn't deliver on it long term to get up at a certain time of the morning and then they don't do it. And so they have a process and a habit in their life more often than not of not keeping the promises they don't make to other people. They don't keep the promises they make to themselves. And so the cool thing is self-confidence is an internal game. You do not need external accolades, external admiration in order to build self-confidence. You don't need any of those external forces. it's all done internally. You control this.

And you control this by beginning today to keep the promises you make to yourself. And you have to stack the deck in your favor. Stack the game so you win. It's not good enough just to keep the promises you make to yourself. You must acknowledge it when you do it to you to give yourself credit

to create confidence momentum, is what I call it. So whether that's setting the deck where you're going to get up a little bit earlier, you're going to make a certain amount of phone calls your business, a certain amount of appointments, you're going to eat a certain amount of calories in your fitness.

You're going to spend a certain amount of time with your children or your parents and you begin to do these things you say you're going to do you say simple things like i'm going to lay out my clothes the night before i go to bed every night before i go to sleep so when i wake up that decision's made for me and believe it or not the fact that you just do something that simple that you then deliver on begins to build confidence you say i'm going to stretch in the morning when i get up and you do it all of a sudden i'm not going to check my phone for 30 minutes all these habits i teach when you just begin to do the things you tell yourself you're going to do, you begin to build self-confidence, which is this reputation

with yourself. So ask yourself a question right now. What is one thing right now, one promise I can make to myself that I'm going to begin to keep starting this minute and begin to do it? It could be how often I'm going to pick up a book and read it. But you begin to stack things you commit to do and then you deliver on them and you acknowledge them to yourself. You're in the process of building self-confidence. Why is that so important? Of all the athletes I could, When my athletes are performing at their peak level, they're at their highest self-confidence level. In fact, I love when I watch some of the athletes

like coach get interviewed and they kind of do this aw-shucks, humble routine in their post-game interviews. Yeah, you know, just part of the team, you know, I got a lot, I could have done a lot better today. But inside, I know these people are incredibly self-confident people. Any of you athletes listening to this, you know, this the great athletes you know, have incredible amounts of self-confidence.

You have to believe in you when it's a battle, when you're a hitter against a pitcher, or when you're a quarterback against a defense, or you're a defenseman in the NHL against their best offensive player, or you're a golfer and you have to make a nine-foot put to win a tournament, right? You better help self-confidence.

In fact, the separator, more often than not, at the highest level in sports, is not they're a better shooter or a better putter or throw the ball a little bit faster because everybody throws hard in the major leagues nowadays, it seems, right? That separates their self-confidence. It's true in being a parent.

It's true in being a business person. It's true in every, every area of our life, the separator at the top levels is self-confidence. So now you have that first thing that you're going to commit to that you're going to deliver on. Now what I would ask you to do that now that you've done that is if you really want to build self-confidence, can you begin to extend that list of five, eight, and ten things that you are going to begin to do, that you commit to you that you're going to do every single day

to begin to stock that self-confidence. That's going to change it. Now let's go back to the self-doubt for a second. Self-doubt is the inverse of that. I don't trust me. I don't think I'm good enough. These are the thoughts placed from the outside, inside your mind. The minute you acknowledge that, that's not my thought, that's someone else's.

That's not, you begin to eliminate. I call it like scratching the CD. When I begin to have negative self-talk, negative thoughts, I literally picture, and I'm old, by the way, but I picture an old record player or a DVD, and I just scratch it. I scratch it. That thought gets scratched. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough.

I'm not good-looking enough. I'm not fast enough, strong enough. I'm not prepared enough. Once they enter, that's not my thought. That's something someone gave me when I was. as a kid and I scratch it. And I literally say to myself, scratch it, scratch it, scratch it. And over time, it's like a DVD or a CD or a record player.

Over time, that thought can't be played again in your recorder when you scratch it enough times. So I literally picture scratching and I say scratch it. I experience self-doubt, I experience negative thoughts, and I scratch them, I scratch them, I scratch them. And over time, it almost becomes funny. It's that thoughts impact on me starts to be minimized over time. Every time I scratch it, I picture scratching it like a DVD or a record or a CD, and I say it to myself.

Scratch it, scratch it, scratch it. And what it does is it acknowledges the thought. It loses its power over me. The first time it's still got some impact on me. The second time it might, but the fourth, fifth, seventh time, all of a sudden, that thought just doesn't have the impact on me anymore. Because I acknowledge it's not mine. I've scratched it. And over time, my mind just doesn't want to play that song anymore.

It doesn't want to play that movie anymore. And so that's how I begin to eliminate those thoughts in my mind. I build up my self-confidence and I scratch myself doubt. There's also this misconception from people that you are certain things, meaning some people have this misconception that I am what I possess. In other words, I am my possessions. And so they link their self-confidence to their possessions. And so they're constantly trying to acquire more and more possessions thinking that's

where they get their self-confidence from. That's how they're defined as a person. I am my possessions. Couldn't be further from the truth. It's a hollow way to try to gain self-confidence by possessing things. Nothing wrong with going for material possessions. I have all kinds of them. But I don't link my confidence to those possessions, nor am I deluded into thinking if I could just possess more things, then I'll feel better about myself.

So this is a mistake. There's a flawed thought. Number one flawed thought, I am my possessions. Second flawed thought, I am my accomplishments. In other words, my self-confidence is only linked to what I'll accomplish. So because I haven't accomplished certain things, I know that certain title, that certain award, that certain recognition, I don't believe in myself. I'm riddled with self-doubt.

I'm defined by my accomplishments. The difficult thing about that is now all your life, you're going to have to accomplish more and more and more in order to feel self-confident and eliminate self-doubt. You are not your accomplishments. you are not your possessions. You are you. You are perfect. You are beautiful.

You were born to do something great with your life. If you're a person of faith like me, you believe God made you in his image and liked this and wants you to do something great with your life, not that you are your possessions, not that you are your accomplishments. And this is the social media insidious influence it has in our lives. People are like, I don't feel good about myself. I've got this self-doubt. The gateway to me feeling more self-confidence is if I could possess more things or if I could

accomplish more things. Yes, having nice things will make you feel better about yourself. Yes, accomplishing things certainly is a reinforcement for self-confidence, but it's not the pathway to getting it. The pathway to getting it is doing something great with your life where you keep the promises you make to yourself and acknowledge this self-doubt, this self-thought, this negative talk, isn't even mine. It was given to me when it was impossible for me to defend myself as a child. and maybe it even happened in adolescence, and probably some of those incidents have happened for you as an adult. And these ones as an adult are like that thing I said earlier,

oh, it's another time I reinforced the table, I'm not good enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not prepared enough, I'm not the right race, I'm not the right gender, I don't come from the right kind of family, I don't have the right education. And we find these references as adults to reinforce these self-doubting beliefs

we were given by somebody else as a child. Flawed belief is that you are your possessions, You are your accomplishments. Third flawed belief. I am what other people say I am. Wrong. You are not what other people say you are. Good or bad.

I see too many people that if someone says something negative about them, they believe that's who they are. This is the flawed third belief. I am my possessions. I am my accomplishments. And you know what? Or I am what other people say I am. Let me be clear with you.

You are not what other people tell you you are. It wasn't true when you were 18 months old. five years old or 55 years old you are not what other people say you are so stop letting that dictate your self-confidence or fill you with self-doubt and for the record you are also not the good things people tell you are all the time don't live for likes don't live for comments on your social media don't don't do things in your life just to solicit someone saying something great about you it's a cheap shallow hollow way to try to

to gain self-esteem and self-confidence. It's fleeting, it's short-term, and it's needy. In fact, the fact that is a necessity for you to get liked, to get people to say good things, to get comments on your social media, or to do so in your presence, indicates a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence, because we know self-confidence is an internal game

where we keep the promises we make to ourselves. The fourth type of flawed thinking is, I am what I look like. In other words, if I don't look a certain way, like what the magazine says I should, or social media says I should, if I don't look like these people, I shouldn't have self-confidence. And that's ridiculous. I can tell you straightforwardly, you're beautiful as you are, especially the ladies listening to this or watching this. The world is constantly trying to get you to believe you're not enough. You don't look right.

You should lose this weight. You should gain this. This should be smaller. That should be bigger. Whatever it might be. They're constantly messaging women. You're not enough. You're not enough.

you're not enough you are what you look like and this is true for men as well let me tell you you straightforward that you are not what you look like you are your soul you are your spirit you are your gifts you are the contributions you make you are your intentions you are perfect as you are that doesn't mean we don't want to look better doesn't mean we don't want to get into shape but we want to do that to feel better about ourselves not for the accolades from other people we want to do that to feel healthier and stronger and be the ultimate version of ourselves but by no means does that mean you're not perfect as you are. By no means it means you are defined by what you look like. You are not defined by what you look like. You are defined by the content of your character, the way you treat

other people and the difference you make in the world. So the four flawed thoughts that I see most right now is I am my possessions. No, you're not. I am my accomplishments. No, you're not. I am what other people tell me I am and say I am, good or bad. No, you are not. And fourth, you are not what you look like. These are flawed beliefs that lead right to self-doubt and away from self-confidence. So the things we need to do to change our self-confidence is A, keep the promises we make to ourselves and B, very important, we must begin to give ourselves credit for those things when we deliver on them. I want you to remember this as well. There's a power to the way we use the two Bs, our brain and our body. See, self-confidence can also be a state, a physical state. It's

very difficult when you're moving your body, sitting up straight, breathing deep, deep, right? You're in that physical, strong state of being, right? Right after a workout, during a workout is when we feel our most confident because our body's at a peak state. One way to generate self-confidence is to move your body into a strong state of being. Move your body. Literally movement creates confidence. If you think about some of the peak times of your life, whether that be the fun time you may be having with your partner physically, intimately, or laughter, or peak performance running, right, or your great accomplishment. Yes, there's a commonality of the way our body is moving at that time.

If you think about the times when you're the least confident, usually when you wake up in the morning, isn't it? It's the most down, the most fearful, the most anxiety, or before you go to bed at night. These are two times most people experience the most amount of self-doubt is right before bed and right when they wake up. Isn't that interesting? One of the reasons is because of how we're moving. We're laying down.

We're hunched over. Our breathing is shallow. There's no physical movement whatsoever. This creates a state of self-doubt. right before we sleep, right when we wake up. Or if you're just kind of depressed or sick, self-doubt starts to kick in, doesn't it? Right?

If you ever had an injury and you couldn't move like you'd like to, that stagnation of the body begins to create self-doubt and strips us of our self-confidence. So moving our body is a gateway to self-confidence. And then our brain as well, we have to take control of our thoughts. We have to scratch the negative ones

when they come in and replace them with great ones. Now, I don't believe self-talk works all the time, But I believe saying I am strong, I am good, I intend, I'm a good man, my intentions are pure, I'm a good person, I make a difference in the world, I'm kind, I'm gentle, I'm generous, I'm strong, I'm faithful. Beginning to repeat these thoughts to myself and these words do generate self-confidence. I keep the promises I make to myself. I'm a man of my word.

Begin to talk to yourself and think these thoughts when you combine your brain and your body, you scratch the self-doubt. You lose those four stupid beliefs. I am my accomplishments, I am my possessions, I am what other people say I am, or I am what I look like. These are completely flawed beliefs. We scratch those. We scratch them. We understand the process of stacking self-confidence in our life.

We know we are the content of our character. And lastly, give yourself some credit. Will you please? And I'm going to tell you where to give yourself credit. And that is in the area of your intentions. A lot of my confidence comes from the fact that I keep the promises I make to myself. I know my self doubt or thoughts that were given to me when I couldn't even defend myself as a young little boy. I know that I'm not my accomplishments.

I know I'm not my possessions. I know I'm not what I look like. And I know I'm not what other people say I am. I understand the process of building self-confidence. I scratch the negative thoughts in my life. But I can tell you this. The last place I get my confidence from is my faith and my intentions. See, I know I intend to do good.

Not enough of you are giving yourself. credit for your inherent goodness and I mean this you're special in that regard you're perfect in that regard just ask yourself what are your intentions as an individual as a man or a woman do you intend to do good in the world do you intend to want to help people do you intend to be a light in people's lives do you intend to make a difference do you want to live a good life where you've helped change the world and change other people's lives you ever just asked yourself that do you because if the answer that is you know

Well, I don't spend enough time thinking about how good my intentions are. I don't want to hurt people. I don't want to do bad things. I don't want to take advantage of others. I really intend to do good. You know what? You need to give yourself more credit for the power of your intentions. There's a power in life of giving ourselves credit just for the intentions we have.

Just ask yourself that. There's two types of people in life. There's the people who intend to do harm, to take advantage of people, to cheat, to cut corners to cause hurt to others for what they think will be their own game. Then there's people who want to be a light. They want to make a difference. They want to help. They want to contribute.

They want to be somebody. They want to honor their God. They want to make a difference in the world. And their intentions are good. Too often in life, people with great intentions don't give themselves credit for how beautiful and wonderful those intentions are. And so today, just take this inventory of all the things that are wonderful about your intentions. And then just take an inventory of your faith. As a person of faith, I know that I'm

favored. I know that God wants me to do good in the world. I know that I was made in his image and likeness. There's a power to that. There's a comfort to that. There's a confidence that comes from that. Kind of a swagger. See, people aren't smirking at me anymore. I'm smirking at them. See, I know I'm not what I look like. I know I'm not my possessions. I know I'm not my accomplishments. I'm not what other people say I am. I understand the keys of keeping the promises I make to myself. I understand scratching those limiting beliefs. I know I intend to do good. I don't always do good. I make mistakes all the time. I'm not a deity. I'm not a God. I'm a man. But I intend to do good. And my guess is, so do you. Start to give yourself a little credit just for your intentions.

Know you're perfect as you are. And then begin to take these massive action steps. The final piece of the puzzle is this, is that you have to believe you deserve to win. And sometimes it's not just that we think we're good, but that we've done so much, we must be worthy of winning. See, there's this adage in life. Good people in life won't take more from the table of life than they think they're worthy of and they deserve. See, in business sometimes, short term, we've all seen this, someone with bad intentions can get ahead short term. But you always reap what you sow. Karma is always a real thing and eventually the people that take shortcuts that cheat that hurt other people that have ill intent the world the universe god sort of finds a way eventually to get them where they're

supposed to be but good people will never take more when they think they're worth which is why the mandatory requirement for good people to win is they believe they deserve it they believe they're worth winning and sometimes it's not just who we are that we need to believe in but what we've done in this sense that sometimes you've got to outwork everybody and you've got to be willing to do the things nobody else is willing to do so you begin to convince yourself man i'm doing all the things everybody else is unwilling to do so i deserve to get the results other people aren't going to get i'm doing the things other people aren't willing to do i'm paying a price that's so much greater than other people that i'm worth it that i deserve to get results they don't deserve to get because i've been

willing to do the things they've been unwilling to do. So the last piece is often self-confidence can just frankly come from outworking everybody and convincing ourselves, man, I've been doing the things nobody else is willing to do. I deserve to get the results. Nobody else deserves to get. And that's a shift in building self-confidence. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. If you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Edmight show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never missed an episode that way. Now on with the show. But let's just talk about you in finishing today. Wouldn't the ultimate version of you not brag, not boast, not tell stories about the past,

not worry about what other people thought about you, right? Take criticism very well. All the things that we've discussed today. The ultimate version of you would have none of those things, wouldn't he or she? And that would be the removal of your ego. I believe the way we remove our ego is we love ourselves and we believe in ourselves. And that way we know ourselves. And so what I want to want to challenge you to do today is just to start to give yourself a little bit more credit. And just know when you see these symptoms arising in your life, these are indications your ego's out of control and check yourself when it happens. If you have people in your life who embody these symptoms, it's often easy to see the ego things that really repel us in our life. But the fact of the matter is,

for me, every single time in my life when my ego gets the better of me, I have a setback. So listen to me, it's very dangerous to lead with your ego because I'm telling you you're getting ready for a setback in your life. Where do my setbacks come from in my life? I'm going to tell you where I have setbacks. People ask me, how do I get out of my slump? How do I break the habit that I'm in? And I'm going to tell you what it is for me because it's connected to ego. For me, I started to think I had it so figured out when things were going good that I stopped working on myself. I stopped reading the books. I stopped listening to the podcast. I stopped improving myself. And when you do that stuff, the poor result doesn't show up as you're doing it.

The poor result shows up 90 to 120 days later. So that's the problem. The failure or the setback is delayed by like 90 to 120 days in everything we do. So in business, if you're really successful right now and you got to a certain point, but you stopped the very activities that got you there, you don't fail the next day. 90 to 120 days from now, you pay the price in your life, don't you? You didn't do the work you were supposed to do. And so three, four months later, all of a sudden, business is down again. So the negative result always trails the negative behavior by about three to four months.

For me, my happiness level or my confidence level, I always, I got it going and then I I stopped reading books. I stopped listening to the right stuff. I stopped the right associations. It didn't happen immediately, but 90 to 120 days later, now my ego's out of control again. And so where my ego rears its head for me is I begin to think I got it figured out. I think it got it going. I believe my own press clippings, and I stopped doing the things that are going to get me to the next level. And three to four months later, I go, man, I'm in a slump. Man, there's a setback right now. What the heck happened? What happened, dummy, Ed Milette, is 90 to 120 days ago, you stopped doing the things required to win and so the truth is where you are right now I love you brother or sister

I want you to win I opened up today by telling you you're supposed to do something great with your life but in order for that to happen you have to do the great things now because the positive results will trail by six months to a year so negatives come get us 90 to 120 days but positives don't end up showing up sometimes for six months to a year or longer it's kind of like when you first start to eat well you might get a little bit improvement then it levels off and you're like man I'm eating well I'm working out. Why isn't my body changing? Because the positive result is six months to a year away.

That's why. But if you stop eating well, if you stop working out, you're 60 to 90, 120 days. Your body's bad again. Same with our lives. If we're doing something great with our life, it's going to take us six months to a year to see the positive result. And so don't let your ego get in the way of saying, man, I'm doing all this stuff and it's not working. There's a delayed gratification coming. The same time, if you are winning right now, don't stop doing the things that got you where you are because you're only 90 to 120 days away from a setback. This is how the ego gets us. And so I want to remind you, in conclusion, you're supposed to do something great with your life.

You're supposed to contribute. You're supposed to win. But that starts with today loving yourself, which is believing in yourself, okay? You can't be yourself if you don't love yourself and you can't love yourself if you don't believe in yourself. And so today, start to love yourself again. I'm not about self-love. That's not what I'm talking about. You know, some thought, I love me, I love me.

You know, Stuart Smalley, I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. Gosh darn it, people like me. That's going to get you nowhere. Do things that are in congruence with who you really are. Do things that are the removal of your ego. You know what says you have no ego? You're willing to do the work every single day on yourself and in your business,

even though there's no result. That shows no ego. Ego is, why would I keep doing it? There's no result. Or ego is, I got it going. I don't need to do it anymore. more. You want to know you don't have an ego? You want to know you got your act together? You're doing the work right now to show how much you love yourself, how much you believe in yourself,

knowing the delayed gratification is coming six months to a year or maybe longer from now. I'm here to challenge you to start living like you love yourself, living like you believe in yourself, because you can't love yourself if you're not being yourself. And the real self, the real you takes all the steps to care for you, all the steps to improve you, all the steps to grow you. So you know you love you. You know you believe in you when you begin treating you like that. And treating you like that means you don't gossip about other people. You're not addicted to what other people think about you, right?

You're not some victim. You know better than that. You're not someone who needs everybody else's permission to win. You're not waiting around for results and not doing the work. You don't stop doing the things that help you win. So today, start doing the things that improve you confidence-wise, listening to people like me, following me on social media, listening to the right podcast, reading the right books, in your business, doing the things you know you're supposed to do.

Let me tell you what I know about you in your business. You're not confused about what you need to do. If you're a school teacher or you're an entrepreneur, if you're a mom or a dad, if you're a pastor, if you're a young person who's studying and wants to get into college, you're not confused by what you need to do. There's no confusion on what you need to do. There's only the decision of whether you're willing to do it and to do it consistently and to do it even when the results don't show up. even when the results aren't there, are you willing to do it? And if you are making progress, you are getting good grades,

you are leading your church, you are moving your business forward, you are flourishing at work, do you have enough lack of ego to continue to do the work required to get to the next level? That's the separator. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes.

Now on to our next guest. Welcome back to the program, everybody. Today is a special day for me. Like, it's a surreal day because not only is the man to my left, a Major League Baseball Hall of Famer, he's got 3,000 hits. He had 388 one year. He's one of the all-time greats of Major League Baseball, but he's been one of the all-time most influential people in my life as a young man. He became a mentor to me. I haven't seen him in decades, and now he's in my living room on my show, which is just going to be an incredible experience.

We're going to talk about his amazing life. This will be one of those shows where if you're driving, you're going to pull over because you're going to lose your breath a few times. about this man's life story, what he's learned, his lessons, and the incredible experience and journey that his life has been. So everybody, this is Hall of Famer Rod Karu. Rod, thank you for being here, brother. Thanks for having me. It's so good to have you.

What is your takeaway from, you had a near-death experience, you had a heart attack, you've had a heart transplant from a child who you were kind to as a young man. You've left Panama where basically you had this huge dream to play in the major leagues. You couldn't even watch it on television. you listen to it on the radio, then you're in these stadiums. What are you, what have you, what is, you've had this experience. It's just, it's, you have to read one tough out and I'm not promoting a book. It's just, this is not fiction.

If this was a movie, people go, this is like a Disney movie. Forget it. There's no way this is true. It's corny, except it's actually true and I'm actually sitting here with you right now. And you know, it's, when I was a kid growing up, every time that I took the field to play baseball, it was like I was better. than everybody else. God had given me this talent and say, here, this is your gift for me. Work at it and continue to better yourself. And I did. You did. I took extra bad in practice every day of my 19 years in baseball. Extra every day. Every day. And also the day that I retired,

I took extra bad in practice. The day you retired, you took extra bad. You did one more. One more. Because I was given this gift, and I didn't want to just say, okay, you know, it's all over and done with. But I still had that energy inside of me that I wanted to do more. That's incredible to me. I'm writing a book right now called The Power of One More.

And so the fact that you say this, it's something I learned from you. Yeah. Is that you don't remember this, but we'd be hitting. And even if I hit a good last one, you always go, let's do one. one more and we'd hit one more. And I have taken that since I was a little boy into, in business, I'm gonna make one more phone call. If I'm running on the treadmill at the gym,

that's 30 minutes ago, let's do one more minute. And the fact that you're now telling me that you retire and you took one more round of extra batting practice. I was never satisfied. I knew the gift that I had. And I knew that I probably could have just gone through life and being a mediocre hitter. But I wanted to be the best.

You want to be great. Yes, I wanted to be in the class of Willie Mays and Hank Aaron and Babe Ruth and Jackie Robinson and all these guys. And you are. You know, it's interesting to me that people that are listening are watching this right now. They've been given a gift of some type as well.

They may not be aware of what it is yet. When it's an athletic gift and it's baseball and there's millions of people, it's kind of obvious. Hey, I've got this gift. I'm going to become the best. But there's little gifts. There's an opportunity. There's a new position at your job. There's a chance to improve your financial. There's someone you could meet. And it's that treating it as precious and doing the extra. Because I'll bet you played with, we won't name who they are, but you played with other guys who had a gift similar to yours. Oh, yeah. And they didn't take the extra batting practice. They didn't work in the offseason. And I used to tell this one player in particular, you are going to be out of this game by, age 32. I says, God has given you everything. You can throw the ball as well as anybody you can hit,

you can run, you can field, but you're not using it. He says, well, you know, it's okay. I says, no, it's not okay. You've got the talent. Strive to be greater than some of these other guys that don't care. Yeah. You know, but he was out of the game at age 30. He really was. Really was. And you had this unbelievable career. How many, you have seven batting titles. Right.

So, guys, in fact, correct me if I'm wrong. The batting title in the American League is now the Rod Carew Award. They've literally named the batting title every year after this man sitting here. Am I right about that? That kind of means you were pretty good. Yeah. And my buddy, Tony Gwyn, who they named it after in the National League. Who's a lot like you.

Left-handed, didn't hit for a lot of power, had to grind, had to work hard. Incredible student of hitting. And we worked the same way every single day. We were working on something, you know, because so many young players can look at videos and they want to pick everything or pick themselves apart. You know, instead of looking for one thing that,

okay, I'm going to look for this so that I can go out and spend some. time working on it and getting comfortable with it and making the adjustment to make myself better. Would you always be learning even late in your career? You've already hit 388 one year. You've led the league in hitting all these times. Were you still trying to find those little inches to improve upon all the time?

Every time I went out, it was to improve myself. I'll tell you a story about Nolan Ryan and I had this thing between us. Okay. I'm number fourth on his strikeout list. I've got, you struck me out 29 times. Okay. But I ended up hitting 300 off of him because when I first came up to the league, I used to hold my hands up high.

You did? Yeah. You didn't have the flat bat? No, my hands were up high. Okay. And so that's why I know. and struck me out so many times because I tried to hit that high fastball and there was no catching up. He's bringing a heat.

Oh. And so I decided that I've got to make an adjustment. Wow. So for about three weeks, I took batting practice, extra batting practice, sitting on a stool that swiveled. Okay. And that kept me down. That's why I developed that unorthodox. Wait, you're telling me your whole hitting style that you're known for, was born out of an adjustment to be able to hit against someone like Nolan Ryan or actually Nolan Ryan. Yes. And so, you know, I would take extra BP and I stay down.

I couldn't come up. And I did it for about three weeks. And then the first time I faced Noli, I got two hits. And then the next time I faced him, I got three hits. And I remember this one game, he threw me a change up and I bonded it down and third. third base line for a base hit. And he came over towards first base and he's rubbing the ball. He says he's supposed to hit swing at that pitch, not Bunnett. I said, I got a hit, didn't I? So people that don't know, Nolan Ryan's one of the all-time great intimidators, no-hit machine

threw hard. It's unbelievable. By the way, how many guys throw hard nowadays? The amount of velocity now, guys come out of the pen throwing 99, 100 miles an hour. It's unbelievable when you guys throw hard. The difference is they don't do it consistently. They don't throw strikes consistently. They're not pitching today. They're just throwing. Throwing, yeah.

You know, and anyway, to go on with the Nolan story, we were playing this game in Minnesota and he was pitching. First time up I get a bass set. Second time I go up to the plate, and he's yelling at me from the mound. Stand up. Stand up. And I say, no. Bring it down. And that's how I developed that unorthodox style of hitting. That's amazing to me. Because I had to make an adjustment. Wow. You know, and I made the adjustment. And greater things started happening. It's amazing to me how critical that point is in every area of our life is just making adjustments. Like for me, even in my speaking, when I was a young man, I'd speak on.

there's a certain style of bravado and intensity. And over time, I thought, and mainly the people I would reach were young, intense males. And then I started to think, I'd like to reach a broader audience of people with my message. I had to make an adjustment in the way I communicate. Now my audience is actually more women than it is men. And I attribute that to the adjustments. In business, it's constantly, Mike Tyson has that great saying where he says, everybody's got a plan until they get punched in the face. You have to make adjustments in life in business. If you're listening to this, maybe there's adjustments that you need to be making that you're not aware of, that you're not thinking about, that you're not thinking about

in advance.