THE ED MYLETT SHOW - 7 Ways to Crush Fear and Activate the Genius Within You | Ed Mylett

Episode Date: November 29, 2025

The Hidden Power Inside You Is Far Greater Than the Fear In Front of You In this mashup episode, I am bringing you two of the greatest minds on the planet when it comes to transforming your inner world and tapping into the genius that already lives inside you. If you have ever felt stuck, overwhelmed, afraid, or unsure of your next move, this conversation is going to shift something deep within you. John Assaraf and Dr. Caroline Leaf break down the science, the psychology, and the spiritual truth behind why fear takes over our lives and how to reclaim the control that is already yours. This episode is not just information. It is a roadmap to unlocking the next version of you. John Assaraf gives you the exact strategies the most successful performers in the world use to break free from fear and activate the Einstein part of the brain instead of living controlled by the Frankenstein part. He explains why your nervous system reacts the way it does, how to stop the fear response in real time, and how to create inner patterns that align with success instead of sabotage. His step by step inner sizes will help you calm the circuits, shift your focus, and turn fear into fuel so you can take immediate action toward your goals. Then Dr. Caroline Leaf takes you even deeper into the mechanics of the mind. She reveals how your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are actually signals from the nonconscious mind trying to guide you toward healing and growth. She walks you through her powerful five step Neurocycle process that helps you rewire old patterns, break free from anxiety, and build new mental habits that create clarity, peace, and confidence. Whether you are dealing with stress, trauma, overwhelm, or a lack of direction, her framework gives you the tools to rebuild your mind from the inside out. This episode is more than just teaching. It is an activation. You will hear how to slow your thoughts, regulate your emotions, and shift your identity into the person you are meant to become. If you apply what you learn today, you will not only conquer fear, you will unlock a level of genius, intuition, and personal power that has been sitting inside you waiting to be released. You were built for greatness. You were designed for expansion. And this episode shows you exactly how to step into it. If you are ready to take back control of your mind, strengthen your identity, and create the life you know you are capable of, this conversation is your turning point. Lean in. Take notes. Apply what you learn. Your genius is waiting. Key Takeaways How to deactivate the fear response and regain control of your emotional state Why your brain defaults to survival patterns and how to train it for success The two brain circuits controlling your reactions and how to switch between them Dr. Leaf’s five step Neurocycle and how it rewires unproductive thought patterns Why awareness creates freedom and how to use it to build new habits How visualization and repetition reshape the subconscious mind Why your beliefs and identity determine your outcomes Tools to reduce anxiety, create mental clarity, and activate peak performance ⁠👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ←  ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FACEBOOK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LINKEDIN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WEBSITE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 

This is the Edmiler Show. Hey, everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Edmielette show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Here's our first guest. All right, welcome back to Max Out, everybody.

What an honor it is to be with this gentleman here today and to share him with all of you. I guess probably the thing I admire most about him is that he came to the space, I think, similarly to how I did, which is that almost reluctantly, he was a person building businesses and becoming successful in the real world, applying the things he was learning from personal development and making those things a reality in his life. And then after he had business success, being sought after enough, he decided to start to teach the things that had helped him become successful. And I love that there's a track record behind the incredible things we're going to cover today.

multiple time New York Times bestseller company called Neuro Jim that you're going to fall in love with everybody. A bunch of different books. This recent one I read in two days called Inner Size. I highly recommend you all get this. Most of you are probably familiar from him for the first time

from The Secret. He's one of the stars, if not the star, of the secret. A bunch of different books. The answer, so many great things. And it's an honor to have him today because I consider him on earth one of, if not the greatest expert on the brain, on the inner mechanics of the brain, mindset and peak performance. So I know it's what all of you want to talk about. So I have

John Asaraf here with me today. John, thanks for being here, brother. And it's so good to be here and thank you for giving me the honor to be here with you. Pleasure is mine, as you know. We're going to go right into the good stuff here with this man. There's too much gold there to kind of go to generalities. Well, we were doing this during the COVID pandemic. And people will watch it at any given time it could be two or three years from now but i want to talk about fear to start a lot of people are afraid right now and uh whether they've lost a job and they're afraid it's not coming back they've lost money their business is going potentially backwards maybe they've lost the fitness they achieved and some of the weight they had lost is

return uh possibly and in inner size you teach these first two exercises and if you could talk about Take six, calm the circuits. If you would start, we're going right to the good stuff, right? Plus, everyone's going to want to get the book after we do this. So could you talk about fear and some help that you could provide people in that regard? Sure. If everybody could imagine for a moment you're driving a car and everything's going great. And all of a sudden, a light pops up on your dash.

Now, the average person won't take a hammer and hit the light to turn it off. An average person will take a look at what is that light? Am I low on windshield wife fluid? am I low on air and my tires? Is my back trunk open? What's going on? So just like the signal in a car is meant to make you aware, fear is a trigger in our subconscious mind

that real or imagined danger has percolated in our brain. And so fear, there's nothing wrong with fear. We can actually use fear as fuel. Now, I like to give people visual. So imagine if you have, you know, two parts of your brain. There's many more, but imagine these two. We have the Einstein brain and we have the Frankenstein brain. And when fear gets activated, let's assume that that's our Frankenstein brain going,

what if, what if you get hurt? What if you lose money? What if you die? What if you get embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, or judged? And so why does Frankenstein even get activated? Because we're not born with those fears. And so if we're not born with those fears, that means that something in our brain is triggering this reaction automatically without our thought.

And that is what we call is the fear response. And we also know that that fear response causes something called the sympathetic nervous system to activate, which causes us to want to fight, freeze, or run away. That's just the absolute reaction at a biological level of what. what is happening. Now, when we want to deactivate that sympathetic nervous system, there's several what I call our inner sizes that we can do that actually gives us more control, more power, and the ability to reactivate the Einstein part of the brain. So inner size, number one, is really, really simple. It's called take six, calm the circuits. So as soon as you

catch yourself in a state of doubt, fear, worry, anxiety, stress, that means that Frankenstein's activated if you just took six deep breaths in through your nose as slowly as you could and then you exhaled as if you're exhaling through a straw in your mouth, if you just did that six times, that very simple inner size would deactivate the Frankenstein brain and allow you to reactivate your thinking, imagination. Einstein part of your brain, and then you can do the second inner size, which puts you right back in control, and that one I call is AIA, AIA, which is now a matter of awareness, awareness of my thoughts, emotions, feelings, sensations, or the behaviors that I've just taken, or the one I'm afraid to take, and in a pure state of awareness without judgment, blame, shame, guilt, or justification. Let me repeat. Without any judgment, shame, guilt, or justification of the feeling or the thought of the behavior, now I'm empowered

again because now I can observe. And now in this observational mode, I could say, okay, what's my intention, let's say for the next 10 minutes? Well, my intention is to be happy. Great. My intention is to be productive. Great. My intention is to, you know, take action on this one thing that's going to help me towards my goal and dream. So in the awareness and in the intention, then if I say, what's one small action step I could take towards what I want instead of what I don't want? So all of a sudden, I've interrupted a fear pattern. I've created this state of awareness. I've set an intention and now I'm taking action towards what I want versus being paralyzed by what I don't want and a fear that may or may not be real. So awareness is what

actually gives us choice and choice is what actually gives us freedom if we make the right choices. So good. So guys, the reason I wanted John on was because these are actionable steps that you could take. You need to go get intersize because these are actual exercises that will change your life. And I love how John arrived at this space. I want to go back, because we just got pretty heavy there. And now I want to go to a little bit of a lighter space, but both of you and I have had mentors that have entered our life. We didn't come from perfect families, loving families, both of us, but not perfect families. And by the way, I don't know that that exists yeah I think that you know a dysfunction is normal that's normal

if you had a functional family that's not normal that's not normal right and I guess to the extent that the dysfunction you experience is probably part of these things we have to undo and we'll talk about beliefs in that regard in a minute but you're this guy Mr. Brown I've heard about Mr. Brown for years but it's hard to imagine a man has become a multi-million I mean just so you know, John's built five, six different multimillion-dollar companies, one of us on four billion in revenue. He's taking a company public on NASDAQ. I mean, he's about a very accomplished man here. But Mr. Brown was one of the catalysts for that. John was kind of a screwed up youth there for a while, making some bad choices. And you have this moment where you're talking about

goals with him. Yeah. And he asked this incredibly powerful question. And it, I mean, honestly, I've been in the space 30 years. I've worked on myself a great deal. I understand the mechanics of the mind. But sometimes the most basic things have the most deep impact on us in our lives. When I read this story, I must have told this story probably 35 times the last two weeks to people. So if you'd share that, I'd really appreciate it. So if the person watching and listening can imagine a 19-year-old kid working in a shipping department of a warehouse, hating my job at $1.65 an hour back in 1980. This is April of 1980. On the side, I'm selling drugs. On the side, I'm doing breaking and entries. On the

side. I'm part of a small little group of kids who got adept at shoplifting and doing all these stupid things as a kid. And I knew that my life was either going to, you know, I'm going to go to jail or the morgue at that time. One of the two is going to happen because we're doing some pretty, pretty heavy stuff at the time. It was just getting more and more and more advanced and more riskier. So my brother, who's a tennis pro and a coach at the time, asked me to come from Montreal to Toronto to meet one of his clients. And his client's name is Mr. Allen Brown. So I took the train 350 miles for lunch with this guy

and to see my brother for the weekend. And as I went in to, I went right from the train station to lunch, my brother introduced me to Mr. Brown. He's cordial, very, very nice man, very kind. He asked me, so what are some of your goals? I'd say, I'd love to buy a car. I'd like to move out of my parents' house. I'd like to get a better job because I'm not making enough money doing that.

And he says, well, I understand you're also getting yourself into a lot of trouble. I was like, yeah, yeah, I am. I'm going to embarrass now that my brother told him all this way. And he said, listen. He said, what are some of your bigger goals and dreams? I said, I don't know what you mean. He said, listen, you know, having food on the table and why you buy a car and all that

stuff, that's all nice and dandy, but what do you want to do with your life? And I have no idea, I said. And so he gave me this document, this sheet, it was the 1980 goal setting guide. And on it, said, of what age do you want to retire? How much net worth do you want to have? How much money do you want to make a year? What kind of lifestyle do? What kind of charity, charitable things do you want to do? I'm like, what the F is this? I'm 19 years old. When do I want to retire? I want to get a damn good job. Forget about retire. They said, listen, take a few minutes and go and write this stuff out. So I sat there and I wrote, I want to retire at age 45. My net worth,

I want to be $3 million. I want to make $250,000. and I want a Mercedes Benz. I want a house, you know, at the beach. And I just started rifling off this stuff. And I gave him back the document. And he goes, these are really good ideas you had over here. So where'd you get these ideas? I said, well, I like watching the TV show called Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. And Robin Leach shows all these nice homes, kind of like your lifestyle, Ed. And I said, I want that kind of a lifestyle. And he says, listen son he says all of this is possible i'm going to ask you one question and the answer to this one question will determine whether you have it or you don't and the back of my mind i'm going

come on give me a break one question i said sure mr brown fire away so he says are you interested in having this kind of lifestyle achieving these things or are you committed and i said Mr. Brown, what's the difference? And he said to me, he said, son, he says, if you're interested, you'll do what's easy and convenient. If you're interested, you'll allow your stories and your excuses and the fact you went to grade 11 and left school and the fact that your father's a cab driver and your mother's a, you know, a seamstress at a store, you'll come up with all of the stories and reason and excuses why you can't. He says, if you're interested, all of the obstacles will be big. than your vision and your goals. He said, but if you are committed,

you will do whatever it takes. You will upgrade your knowledge. You will upgrade your skills. You'll develop the beliefs and the habits to match the vision and the goals. He said, so son, which are you? And I said, a little scare. I said, well, Mr. Brown, I'm committed.

And he just smiled. He reached out his hand to me. me and he says in that case son I will be your mentor oh boy so good and I was like wow that's great what does that mean he goes well I will teach you because I've made all of these goals that you want to have already I've already done those 10 times over he says the first thing I need you to do I need you to move from Montreal where you live now to Toronto and I said move from Montreal to Toronto, I don't have a car. I don't have, I don't have a job in Toronto. I gave him all these he said, stop. He says, there you go, already giving me excuses. I said, I know, but this is the

truth. You don't know. Right. He says, son, he says, here's your first lesson. First, you set the goal. You make a commitment to achieve the goal. Then you figure out how you're going to do it. So I said, fine, fine. I'll move to Toronto. And he says to me, great. The second thing, want you to do is on May the 5th, there's a new real estate class that starts. It's a five-week course, nine to five. I want you to enroll in it. It's 500 bucks. I said, excuse me? I said, 500 bucks. And you want me to go back to school? I failed English. I failed math. They kicked me out. I was happy. They were happier. I don't have the money. He says, there you go again. Look how fast you go back to your story. I said, I'm like, Mr. Brown, I'm not very smart in school.

I didn't do well in school. And I started to give him the story again. You know, stop it. Are you interested or are you committed? I said, I already said on committee. He says, good. Then make the decision. We'll figure out all the rest afterwards.

So long story short, Ed. I made a commitment. I said, fine, I'll do it. My brother said, I'll lend you a hundred bucks. I had $60 in the bank. My wife won me some money. My father lent me some money. May the 5th, 1980.

Okay, 40 years ago, I got my first day in real estate school. Five weeks later, I passed the test. And some people may want, how do you remember these dates so clear? 40 years ago? And the answer was, on June to 20th, 1980, I passed the test on my own. You remember that? Ed, I cheated to get out of high school. One of my friends gave me the answers to all 50 questions on a multiple choice

so I could get out of high school. Amazing. Amazing. The first test I passed on my own. And here it is 40 years later, and it affects you right now telling that story. Yeah, it's like, it was the first time I felt proud. Wow, brother. That's, wow.

You guys, 40 years later, millions of people helped, and it still affects this man to this day. You should be asking yourselves right now, what a great story. you guys, are you interested or are you committed? I made a video today. It's not going to be out for a couple days, but I made a video day about dreams. And I think people sometimes think, I don't have a plan so it disqualifies me from the dream. That's not the case. My biggest dreams, we always want to plan and a strategy. But my biggest dreams, I had no flipping clue how I was going to get to

them. No clue. And what happened was, though, if I got committed to them instead of interested in them, the people, places, things, situations, circumstances begin to reveal themselves and you find them you attract them as part of the secret that I learned many years ago from some guy forget his name oh there he's there he's in front of me so you're a hundred percent right guys and so you got to ask yourself are you interested or are you committed to what your dreams and your goals are there's this thing you touched on there about beliefs another place where I consider you a guru was about the beliefs the subconscious brain to the subconscious mind that there's a difference

between those two things too everybody but you have this great thing where you took your real estate agents that were doing a certain level of production and you worked on their subconscious. So tell them a little bit about that. And then talk to us about beliefs. How powerful are they? What are they? Why do they matter? So I'll start with the story first and then I'll share beliefs and then what to do. So we have some practical things that you can start doing today. So back in 1987, when I bought the franchising rights for remax of Indiana, I have no idea how to build a company. I was 26 years old. But I had another mentor who I invested $75,000 to become his partner

to have the opportunity to learn from this man who at the time was worth probably $100 million. And so I was very, very keen on learning. And I didn't know how to build a business. I didn't know anything other than how to sell real estate. And I set a goal to generate $1 billion a year in sales. And I set the goal for five years in that. the future, not knowing a billion dollar goal is like mind-boggling, big for me. And there was an interview the second week I was in Indianapolis. I moved from Toronto to Indianapolis for this opportunity. And I was interviewed by the Indianapolis Business Journal, and I said in the interview,

that I had a goal for a billion dollars. And the reporter said, are you aware that there's two companies that have been in the state of Indiana for 80 years, 100 years, the other one, and they haven't hit a billion dollars in real estate sales in all of these years. And I said, yeah, I know, it's Graves and Tucker, and you can let them know that I'll be the first. Right. And as I said that, I almost felt like I put my foot right in my mouth

because I didn't know how I was going to do. Right. Long story short, five years later, we sold enough franchise, we created enough agents. We did $1.2 billion. And we were stuck, which is a great place to be stuck. And I was asking myself, how is it possible that I'm training these

agents with strategies with tactics with selling skills marketing skills we were like the gurus of here's the books here's the cassettes here's the trainers here's like out of the deep end and the agents who for example would make 30,000 dollars a year kept making 30,000 a year the agents who made 50 kept making 50 the age who made 100 kept making 100 and so I realized that they weren't missing the skills or the knowledge there was something else at play and what helped helped me from the age of 19 to 27, 2830, was every single day, and I still do it today, and I'll share this with you in just a little bit, every single day. I was priming my brain with the beliefs and the self-image required to achieve the goals that I wanted. So I got 75

agents together who agreed to pay $3,000 each of be part of an inner game training. Forget the out of game, the inner game train, we worked on affirmations, visualization, mindfulness, meditation, listening to our affirmations on our vision, on our cassette recorders. We had, you know, little cassettes we put in our cars. And so I had them work on their self-image and self-worth and self-esteem and to develop the beliefs that we were going to imprint or impregnate into their subconscious mind by listening to these audios every single day, twice a day and while. they were driving and those 75 agents over six months increased sales by

one hundred million dollars my gosh we didn't teach them one thing about selling more well we thought about changing their identity and their belief structure so that it matched the goals they wanted to achieve and then I said holy shit this works even for other people not just me so we started to teach that to all of our agents and we created these cassettes with these recordings on them of the beliefs that we needed them to believe, the self-image that they deserved, that they were good enough, they were smart enough. And we went from $1.2 billion to $4.5 billion a year. Wow. Within four years. Wow. And that's my beliefs. And so, guys, that's a belicit.

A little bit of beliefs and believing in a new self-image and identity in a new story. Gosh, so good. You're going to tell us about beliefs, what they are. So if you think of, yeah. So when you were born, were you born with, beliefs? No. Were you born with any habits? No. Were you born with any fears?

No. No. So from a neuroscience and neuropsychology perspective, a belief is nothing more than this. Imagine that you're born and your brain is made up of a hundred billion marbles. And every time you have an experience or somebody says something to or you read something or you watch something, these marbles make these connections. And the connections that are reinforced go from conscious connections to subconscious connections. And once these subconscious connections are made and reinforced, they run the show 98%

of the time. So a belief is nothing more than a reinforced pattern in the brain. And our conscious brain can choose what we want when we're in that part of our brain, but our subconscious mind can't choose its program from the age of zero or three in the imprinting years, three to about seven or eight the modeling years, and then eight on, it's the experiential years. And so if you have these powerful beliefs that you're good enough, you're smart enough, you're worthy to achieve the goals that you have, if you have these powerful beliefs, you are able to achieve any amount of income you choose no matter what the amount is. You just need to learn how. So if you have these empowering beliefs, you have brain coherence between conscious and subconscious. What if you said, okay, I want to make, let's just say $100,000 a year or a million. It doesn't make a difference. And I asked you, What do you need to believe about yourself to achieve? So I need to believe I'm smart enough. Good.

Write down, I am smart enough. What else do you need to believe? I need to believe that I am worthy. I need to believe that I deserve this. I need to believe that it's possible. I need to believe you write down five or six or seven beliefs. They're just words on a sheet of paper. Now, let me stop for just a moment.

I'm going to tell a story and come back to this. I want you to imagine that somebody tapped you on the shoulder sometime today and say, hey, I work with Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks in Hollywood, and we have this new script, okay, that if you get really good at this script where you could read it in front of a camera without the script, we'll pay you $10 million. Now, I want you to imagine you've never seen the script.

You don't know how to act, but they said to you, we're going to give you an acting coach. We're going to give you everything you need to memorize the script. We'll give you everything you need to act it perfectly. What would you do to take that script that's on a piece of paper that you've never seen before? What would you do to take that script to make it yours for you to own it? And the answer is you'd probably read it like what once? Would you read it maybe 100 times, 200 times, 500 times?

You think you might role play with somebody while you're holding the script in your hand? Do you think you might research the role? Do you think you might take a camera and practice it? And do you think that if you practice it one time, 50 times, 100? times, 500 times. You can finally put the script down and you can get in front of the camera and go, boom, here is the script. Do you think you could do that? Well, guess what? A script that's on a piece of favor that you don't believe with practice, you start to believe. So what happens if you take a belief system and you start to imprint it into your subconscious mind initially through conscious repetition. But there are ways to access the subconscious mind that we know today that are faster and easier than just doing it. consciously. And so you take a vision of you achieving your goals and dreams. You take the beliefs you need you, learn how to manage your emotions a little bit better, and then you develop the habits, which again are nothing more than neural patterns in the brain that have been

reinforced. And when you learn how to deactivate the destructive ones and activate constructive ones through space repetition and reinforcement, now you are resetting your default way of being. So a belief is nothing more than a reinforced pattern that if you learn how to deactivate it and create a new one, it's like a software upgrade for your brain. Wow. So, guys, what he didn't say, so good, John. Thank you.

Guys, this is stuff that you pay thousands of dollars for, but you, by the way, can get in his book and you get here because I know him for free. But, guys, what he didn't say is beliefs are necessarily true. No. Thank you for me. And this is important. You know, I've told you many times, everybody, that your thoughts aren't necessarily true. Your beliefs are not necessarily true. They're patterns reinforced over time.

And so if you could create this new script that's reinforced these patterns over time, that's a conscious way of doing it. Give us one key. He said, we know now there's subconscious ways to do it that are faster and more powerful. Give us one that is a new hack to do this. So one that everybody's heard of, and very few people do, unless you're a professional athlete, astronaut, or Navy SEAL, is visualization. Yes, thank you. Simple, simple, simple. I know you had Phil Mickelson on in the past and I watched and if you think about visualization is simulation. Now, here is the difference. Whoa, that's good. Okay, go ahead. So, visualization is simulation. So when we close our eyes or even if our eyes are open

and we start to use our Einstein brain, the imagination, we now have just activated one of the biggest centers of our brain, the occipital lobe that's connected to the motor cortex. It's connected to the motivational circle, the nucleus of condoms that releases that dopamine that makes you feel good, that makes you want to take action. So if you visualize yourself achieving the goal, if you visualize yourself behaving in ways that match the new belief, if you even visualize the words, or you take the words on a sheet of paper, and you read them, run your right finger across it, run your left finger across it, close your eyes, see it and feel it, your brain is creating a mental movie with the words. And as it creates a mental movie with the

words, that's happening in your subconscious mind. And when you give the subconscious these instructions, a couple things happen because of the way the brain hierarchy works. Number one is survival, but then number two is safety. And then number three is energy conservation. Now, when you do something 20, 30, 40, 50 times. It takes about 66 days to 365 days of repetition to override an old habitual circuit, not 10 days, not 21 days, 66 to 365. So if you visualize yourself achieving the goal, feeling the success that you want to feel, seeing the belief on the screen of your mind, you are actually creating a neural network through the science of neuroplasticity and the networks that you reinforce become the most dominant networks.

And since your brain wants to conserve energy, if you do this on a consistent basis, your brain says, okay, you're doing this so often. Let me just make this automatic. Let me set aside the old beliefs. Let me replace it with the new beliefs. And now you've deliberately and consciously evolved yourself. My gosh. So, guys, it's patterns.

John, thank you. All pattern. Guys, John used a word earlier, which was coherence, and it can fly by. But when you've done this hard work, and I say fun work, by the way, on your subconscious brain, on your subconscious mind, what happens is now when you set that ambitious goal, there's a coherence between what's lying underneath you and what's on the surface. And that's why you know people, you all have someone you know that when they point their mind at something, it's almost like a weapon.

When they point themselves at a dream, they draw it towards them. Part of that's energy, part of that's vibration. But a big part of that is coherence in your brain. And so you've got to do this difficult work that you might think is difficult, which, by the way, is fun, is easy. And it's really just a matter of patterns and taking control of your life. Taking control of the things you do, you can literally, everybody, change your life. You can change the external parts of your life by changing the internal or the inner sizes that he teaches part of your life. That's why I do this show is what we're talking about.

Can I just piggyback on something? Please. Since you picked up on the word coherence, and you mentioned the law of attraction earlier, for the people who think that the law of attraction is, you know, think, believe, and you're achieve. First, I'm going to tell you that's bullshit. So let's call this.

I love this, man. I love it. But I want you to think of your brain just a little bit differently, and think of it this way. Let's say you love rock and roll. And let's say rock and roll is on. station 95.5. If you're on station 92.1, that might be classical. If you're on station 98.7, that might be punk rock. But a 92.5, that's rock and roll. So imagine coherence just means locking your electromagnetic spectrum of your brain. Lock it and load it on exactly what you

want. So what's the vision? What's the goal? What are the beliefs? What are the emotions that create coherence, so you're locked and loaded to the frequency of the universe that is matching that goal, part one, part two, is when you get locked and loaded, you've actually activated the Einstein brain, connected to the motor cortex, connected to the dopamine release in your body, and when that happens, okay, now you're in coherence, but there's another part that happens in this Einstein part of the brain. That's actually what the latest neuroscientists, psychologists are thinking is connected to this GPS part of our brain, to the frequency of where all of the tools, resources, people are that resonate with that frequency.

So we've been evolving for, what, two and a half million years, this homo erectus to now 108 billion humans on earth with a brain that's been changing and growing. And my belief is we're just scratching the proverbial surface, when we talk about, you know, little quantum mechanics or quantum phase with entanglement, how we're all connected, we're all tuning into the frequencies that are us and within us and all around us. Now when we learn to use our brain better, it's just mind-boggling how we can achieve goals and dreams that we thought were impossible to achieve before. This is the fun part now. To me, this is the fun part. And by the way, when you see two people that are vibrating at frequency like this, you get an interview like

what you're experiencing right now, everybody. Like we both have done lots of interviews and we know when we're in the midst of a great one. And everyone, I just want to be clear, please follow John, please. And if you're listening to this show or watching it, share my show. My gosh, people need to know this. You know someone you care about or believe in or love that should be hearing these things. A couple more tips.

And then I want to talk about something pretty serious at the end if you don't mind because you're just such a pleasure. But one of the ways that you can do some of this work, many of you know about vision boards, and we can have a competent person talk about that. John, I can have you touch on that a little bit. But John goes even deeper into these accomplished boards, I think you call them. And he's got a crap board, which I've never flipping heard of in my life. And again, guys, you're just not going to get this anywhere else.

So could you just, these are strategies that are real, that work that we both do. So there's two prolific entrepreneurs who, are now in this face that are saying these are the things we do and isn't it ironic that we both do them and we're both addicted to them and we both attribute it to our success so please talk about that brother so um i have my vision boards and i actually have my exceptional life blueprint that i've created it's about 50 pages of my prayers my rituals for my spiritual growth health wealth, my money story, my intermission, my outer mission, you know, some of the stuff, you know, either that I have or that I'm creating. And so I create these visual representations to trigger

the biggest part of my brain called the occipital lobe and to activate my memory center. So I have vision boards for what I want to create. So I'm giving my brain the exact instructions so that not only it focuses helping me achieve that, but most people don't understand about vision boards or creating goals in writing that are specific, is that your brain is a deletion and distortion tool as well. So if you give your brain the instruction of this is the stuff that's important to me for health, God, spirituality, charity, fun, experiences, my children, my mother, my father, myself, whatever it is. And you say, this is what I want to trade my life for. Delete and distort everything else. Now all of a sudden, you're using your brain as a deletion and distortion

organism in order to be able to help you hyper-focus on what you want. So part one is get absolute clarity on what you want. So your brain helps you eliminate what you don't want. Part one. Part two, right? Part two is I tend to be a goal. seeking guy, right? And I used to not celebrate the small stuff. And I used to just like, you know, find a bigger goal, bigger goal, bigger goal, more, bigger, bigger, bigger. And somebody says to me, like, are you going to slow down just to enjoy some of the stuff that you actually have done for yourself or for people and your family? And I was like, well, let me create an accomplished board. So good. So good. So accomplished board, you pass that test on your own. You pass that test on

your own 40 years ago. Celebrate that. You helped this person who was challenged and celebrate that. You know, you did this for him or for her or for yourself. Celebrate that stuff to remind yourself because I'm tough on myself. Like I'm like I'm let's come on. Let's go. It's a go. Let's go. And sometimes I forget the stuff that I have done, the stuff that I do do that I need to remember. So I created an accomplishment board and a list. So I can just go to it when I feel like, holy shit, am I smart enough to achieve that next thing? Am I good enough? What a lot of people don't know, Ed, is when I was a kid, I used to feel like I wasn't smart enough. And when I was a kid, it helped me back. And today, I still feel like I'm not smart enough. And that fuels me to get

smarter. So I use it. Like I said big goals. I go, God, I don't have the skills. I don't have the knowledge, but I can figure it out. I've got contacts. I've got friends. There's books. There's Google. There's YouTube. There's holy mackerel. I don't need to have all the specialized knowledge anymore. So I have accomplished. But also, you know, crap board is what conflicts are happening right now? I often say that there's only four things that are holding you back as a human being. Only four. There's not 25. There's four that are the core. One is if your vision and goal is bigger than your self-image. Okay?

So if you feel you deserve it, you can have this vision and goal and be excited about and motivated about it. You will not do what it takes to achieve. One, two, if you have limiting beliefs, if you have a vision and goal, but you have a limiting belief that you're too young, too old, whatever the case is, your limiting beliefs will drive your behavior. Three, fear. Fear of being embarrassed, ashamed, ridiculed, or judge.

Fear of failure, fear of disappointment. And we'll talk about disappointing moment or fear of succeeding and failing again, disappointment. And then the fourth one, by the way, is you're lacking the knowledge and skill required. So that actually sets up a self-doubt trigger, which activates the Frankenstein brain, which caused you to lose motivation. But most people prefer to master disappointment and comfort zones instead of mastering change. Wow. Wow. So if I master disappointment, I know what I got. I just have to deal with, well, okay, this is this what I got. And if I master my comfort zone, then at least this is the devil I know. Yes. Versus

mastering change and we know what's going on our brain under, we know what's happening neurologically, biologically, emotionally, emotionally, physically, and all of that is a skill. It's just a skill. So why not just master? Master change. Why not become an adaptationist right now in the time that you need it the most in the world? Because if you don't, then you're just going to keep repeating the same patterns that are going to get reinforced and it makes it harder in three months, six months, and six years. So master change now and make that one of your core competencies and then you master your life. Oh my gosh. You guys, anybody who familiar with my work know how much I love this

man and how much we line up on these things similarly. I love the way that you phrase things. And, guys, one thing about change, one of the reasons we hesitate to change as humans is it's an energy depletion too. Humans kind of want to conserve energy. You have to realize one thing everywhere. Then we're going to go to one more part and then I'm going to ask you about grief. But, yeah, guys, we love to gravitate towards what we're most familiar with.

We create these patterns in our life and we repeat them over and over and over again. And if you're not conscious of what they are, if you don't create new ones, you're just repeating the same life in a different year over and over. And that script that John talked about, your script is the same as it was five years ago, 10 years ago, 20 years ago, with slightly different characters and slightly different dressings in the room. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest.

Welcome back to the show, everybody. I'm so excited about today because the woman sitting across from me is the definition of brilliant. Oh, you're sweet. It's just true. And she is always the smartest person in the room and never feels the need to prove it to you. And that's the real definition of humility and brilliance combined. She's a cognitive neuroscientist and a true mental health expert. And her works made a huge impact in my life.

The last time she was on the show, you guys went crazy because of how detailed her messaging is. and her content is. And so Dr. Caroline Leif, thank you for being here today. Oh, Ed, thank you so much for that lovely introduction. I'm very, very flattered, very honored. Thank you. And I love talking to you. It's just, you're an amazing interviewer.

Thank you. Pull the beast out of me. Well, I love listening to you. She also has a new book out that you can pre-order right now, depending on when you listen to it, but you can order it at any time. But how to help your child clean up their mental mess, a guide to building resilience and managing mental health. What is, you wrote this for how to help.

your child but when i'm reading the work i'm like this helps humans right that's what it's for but so what is something a strategy said awareness of the thought helps it lose its power over you i'm using my description of it right so i've always said that now i know why yes okay what is something a tactic or a strategy or a technique that somebody can use for their child or themselves that can help this in these 63 days that you would be proposing they do okay so what you do is you do the five steps of the neurocycle because what I did was strategically look over the years at how can you actually get find the signals and do this whole deconstruction reconstruction thing so you can't do in one shot so you what you want to do is do a neurocycle these go which is five steps

and I'm going to and I'll go through those in a moment but you're going to do five steps in the sequence the first part of the sequence is the first more or less three weeks where you go through the five steps in around 45 15 to 45 minutes not more and not less in the second 42 days where stabilizing, you just do it in five minutes. So the five steps are basically gathering awareness. And notice I say gathering. So it's a very conscious and deliberate. It's not like a mindfulness

awareness, which this is beyond that. So when we talk about mindfulness, meditation, breathing, decompression, all of those are very important to prepare the brain. So what you would do before you dive into the neuropsychel and you'll see this in my box and in my app, I've got an app as well called the Neuropsychel. There's a two to

three minute brain preparation, which could be anything from focusing on Momentumori to doing a 7-3-10 breathing exercise. So it's something to just get the neurophysiology under control. Then you, all could be a meditation, a prayer, whatever. Then you move into the actual work, and I'm about to slip off this chair. Okay, go ahead. Then you move into the work.

I get so into this, into the work of gather awareness, step one. So gathering awareness is a very specific process. Everything's related. Your mind-brain connection, psychoreobiology, mind-brain body. I'm actually a psycho-neurologist to study that. connection is very ordered and sequenced and structured. And if you want something to change, you've got to follow the steps of the order. So the neuropsychles a system in that you can put CBT techniques, you can put prayer,

you can put whatever works for you, but put them in the right step. So when we gather awareness, we are gathering, like gathering apples of a tree. We're not just randomly looking at things. You're very organized. Okay, what am I going to gather awareness of? My emotions. I'm feeling depressed. I'm feeling anxious.

I'm feeling frustrated. Whatever. Just label them. related to that emotion, what am I doing? What are my behaviours? What am I doing? What am I saying? How am I doing and saying them?

So maybe it's depression and maybe it's withdrawal. Then the third thing is you're going to say, how do I feel in my body when I'm feeling depressed and withdrawing? Maybe cardiovascular issues, heart palpitating. And then fourth category is how am I looking at life in this moment? As I feel depressed, gut ache and withdrawing, I feel that life sucks. Very simple example. Those are four signals.

So you go step one is together those four Step two is to ask why Okay you're going a little deeper Why am I feeling these emotions Now you're not solving the whole problem Don't try and solve it in one day Just go as much as you can handle It's very draining

So that's why I say limit So it's why am I having these Maybe I'm having this depression I seem to be having it because of It's happening a lot I'm not sure why But it's happening five times a day Or it's feeling or it's happening once a week

Oh if it is once a week What am I having the same behaviours is why am I getting that, why am I doing that withdrawing? How often am I doing? What other things am I doing? Why do I think I'm doing that? So you work through each of those signals and try and get some more. Don't stay too long on those two steps and then you write.

Now you don't journal, you write. You dump. You literally dump what you've gathered awareness of and what you have reflected on. Because the first step was to gather awareness. The second step was to do this reflection thing. And then you dump it down on and literally remind them, just write it all over the page. I've developed a system called the method. cog and for kids it's the bubble cog and it's basically riding in a way that looks like a tree

so it's starting from the middle and it's working around in circles and branches and colors and arrows and everything's connected everything's either on a line in a bubble if you don't like doing that just write any old way but try to write dimensionally don't do it in lines try and just put it all over the page because it brings in forces the two sides of the brain to work together creates a very strong connection between the conscious and the subconscious through the bridge of the subconscious. Yeah, and it starts diving deep. I mean, it's like I can tell you now that when I work with patients that who had symptoms

of schizophrenia, this is an extreme example, just to show you how well this works, we would have them just basically medicog out, what all these steps I'm going through, and they would have one whole personality on the side, and they'd be continuing the same conversation in another hall, so you'd see the shift, and then we could show them, hey, look what's going on, and from there, we could unpack and find roots and things like that. So it's phenomenal in getting insight. Now, you spoke about introspection earlier on. Introspection, insight.

It means diving into the depths of the non-conscious. That's the most intelligent part of us. So is writing part of step two or is that step three? So writing is step three. So, gather awareness, step one. Reflect, step two, writing, step three. You're bringing order out of chaos. You're getting those three steps are taking deeper, deeper, deeper,

getting increasing your introspection inside, pulling up things that are associated. Now, that is things all over the page. A lot of it makes sense. Things may shock you that come out. Day one, not really, but as you progress through the days, more and more will come up. And, for example, around day seven, people start saying, oh, I never saw this connection. Day 14, like insight into, oh, that's associated with that. I didn't see that.

This is why I'm doing this. So there's tremendous growth. If you don't force it, you just go through the cycle. I don't want to interrupt you, but I'm going to ask you, do you think during that awareness and the writing that you are uncovering some of the things that might trigger you as well? Totally. So step four, excellent question, step four is looking at what you've gathered, awareness reflected on and written, look, what are my triggers? What are the patterns?

This has happened. What can I do? So step four is moving towards reconceptualization, reconstruction, healing, putting food on the, plant food on the roots to heal them. It's leading to that acceptance. You're not going to know why someone raped a child, why someone did this, that's their story. But that's your story. So you need to find out, I'm not crazy, I don't have a broken brain, I'm not genetically flawed, I don't have a mental illness, I'm showing up like this because of what happened to me.

I can't answer why I have to get to a certain level of acceptance, but at least I know why. It's not me, it's because of. And that helps you heal and move forward. So it's very progressive. It's not walking in circles round and around and around. You know, this is where you can bring in things like these all psychodynamic theory and ACD. There's a lot of different therapy techniques that people can bring in experiences from EMDR and into all these, because this is a system. into these spaces. What's the fifth step? The fifth step is an action, active reach. So you're going to, from the triggers and things like that, you want to move towards an antidote for today, an action for today. So what can I do today to keep me in a safe space? I've done the work for today. I'm not going to fall back into working on this. I've got to get going through the day. And also your brain and mind need a rest. They get tired. So it's an action. It's like a visualization, a statement, a combination, a little prayer, an affirmation. So this is where you would fit an affirmation or a CBT type.

technique like maybe a little visualization exercise or a and so it's something that you do and say maybe something as simple as I can do this I don't know how and then visualize a rainbow I mean it could be something as simple as that to an actual little technique or it could be a breathing technique so it's an action that keeps you going through the day which helps you focus on the fact that you are moving towards healing so you're removing energy from this thing because this process has brought this from the non-conscious to the And it's weakened these branches in the non-conscious it's strong and driving in the when the non-conscious and conscious are working together then this is weakened the protein branches the

chemical so I can start restructuring and reorganizing. See what I'm going to tell you what I'm thinking when you're doing this because this applies at two different people so everybody stay in here okay so those are the five steps to sort of begin to rewire yourself or change your brain the other part of me listening to this is if you're thinking I really don't have a lot of these issues of anxiety or worry depression I also think that's the formula to create a change. Like if I had a goal and ambition, I'd become aware of what I wanted, right? I'd have all these reflections about it.

I would then write about it. And I like the idea of it not being linear like a book, but actually all over the place. So that's almost like a dream personal vision board or dream board that you're doing. Then I'd think about what were the triggers I need to create to generate this state. Could be snapping my fingers. It could be seeing something. It could be walking into my office. It could be getting into my car.

It could be a particular person. So I'd use that trigger to then create that state. And then obviously the fifth would be what's an action that I can take towards this step. So that cycle can be used to uncover trauma, you know, reverse trauma, create brain health, but can also be a creative process in order to change your life. So you are brilliant because that's exactly where I started my research. 38 years ago with people with traumatic brain injuries and learning disabilities and people that just wanted to improve their life. They just wanted and it's called brainbuilding.

So it's the neuropsychon that was the first iteration. of this thing was to develop brain building. So it was helping kids learn. So getting data in, as opposed to deconstructing, it was constructing. Sure. So it's taking from the knowledge in education, you know, school to learn for an exam. Or what is the goal in your vision? So that's the brain building aspect of the neuropsychos.

This is huge right here. I got to tell you something because everyone always wants to create change. They're like, all right, do I get a vision board out? Like, do I? So this is a five-step process. It actually does it. To actually do it. Over the 63 days.

And by the way, in 63 days, you're a different human being. Totally different. I do a thing, you're talking about visualization techniques. I just share this with you, and maybe you can speak to why it might work. So everyone asks me, I don't visualize very well. Yes, you do. You just need to get quiet. And it's a muscle you build.

You know, when you decide to start visualizing your life, it is difficult. But one thing I've done is I've created, I teach it to a lot of my athletes, is I use what I call like a highlight real technique. So what I actually start with is I start. I've never said this on the show because it's part of my private work, but I want you to speak to it. I actually start by visualizing memories from my life that are highlights. So it could be, for example, the birth of my son, the birth of my daughter, a home run I hit in baseball, an award I got, a sale that I closed that was important. These are things my brain are already familiar with, to your point earlier. It's already been wired.

I've already repeated the emotion. It's already in there. And so I see those things, and those are easy for me to recall because they're familiar. And then I move to what I want. So my brain, I think, begins to think they're one big highlight real. Is there any data to prove that that's true? Meaning, I'm already visualizing what I've already, something I want. I've seen an achievement.

I've seen an achievement. And then I see the one that I want to achieve. And for me, my brain more easily sees the future when I start with things that I'm already familiar with in my past. Because I think we do that in reverse. So if we've had a traumatic, someone's hurt us in our life. we see this repeat it over and over and then we then regenerate it

in our real life with the next relationship and that's why people end up dating the same person over and over again in a different body exactly right exactly okay so I'm jumping out of my chair with with excitement because you've seen exactly the correct thing so what you've just described remember I said a moment ago

I spoke about how I'll recall this conversation because it's a great conversation and I'll build it that's what we're talking about here so you are recalling these you're calling those and you're using those to unmask your natural resilience. Yes. See?

So I actually call these insurance policies. Okay. So they literally, so when I work with a person to actually be able to build their brain, we're building an insurance policy. So you should be spending time on doing exactly that. So as you do that, you activate a whole different way that your energy flows across the two sides of your brain. You're going to the highest level of intelligence.

You unmask resilience. You increase your wisdom. You tune into the depths of your non-conscious where intelligence, pretty much your intelligence resides. Right. Because your conscious is basically a workhorse, and it's guided by your non-conscious. So what we've got to see is what is dominant in the non-conscious. Now, your non-conscious is a gentle lady, gentleman, and it's basically always looking for the things that are blocking this growing and keeping you stuck in those.

So it's on your side. But you have to tune in to what's coming up. So when you describe, when you want to do something difficult, you first think of something good. What you've done is you've listened to wisdom from your non-conscious, which is that process. You've then called those up. You've activated your resilience. You've put yourself in a highly intelligent, wise state. Now you're in a state that's more able to cope with that.

So when I work with a patient, for example, I would never start with that. I would say, okay, let's talk about your favorite moments or tell me a story about, tell me a great movie. You know, let's talk about a great book, anything. And then you would focus on that. When they were in that state, I knew that I had got their mind-brain connection. psychoneuro energy. I feel like thinking about the things that have been positive in my life or experiences creates a neurochemistry to which I can create out.

That's exactly what you do. Yes, you have. You've changed all the flow. These change what we, they increase gamma, which is a way that you want to flow. Okay. And when your eyes are open,

you want like this, what we call low gamma across the whole brain. Okay. And then there's certain other patterns. I don't go into the details. And that's got to go into a certain beta pattern and so on. Those energy waves, when they are flowing in that state, they activate the different parts of the brain to then be on high alert to respond and do what they're designed to do, which then impacts your neurochemistry, then your endocrine system, your cardio, everything then comes together. And you are in this prime state.

Your HPA axis is now on high alert, and you now are in the ideal state for solution finding. This is so good. You guys, this is why I do the show right here. So let me just give you this again. Step one, gather awareness. Step two, reflect. Step three, right, play, draw. step four recheck step five active reach which is basically what we've been describing here

what about physical movement and brain health and it's not in here but i want to ask you ask you about that i find that my anxiety and depression and concern and worry or angst is often something physically i'm doing i feel like i there's a physical nature to it and i have found that when i change my physiology i tend to feel like i've changed maybe maybe your physical body is your unconscious mind. I don't know. I'll let you answer this. But when my body begins to move in a certain way, I have found that to be a pathway out of some of the negative emotions that I'm feeling. And I'm wondering, even with children, is part of the mental health issues we're seeing that they're less and less active physically, meaning a lot more video gaming, right? A lot more stuff

on their phone, a lot more stuff on their Mac or their iPad. Whereas when I was a kid, I'm sure mental health issues were very prevalent. But we were outside playing. We were playing football. We were running around. We were running. There was nothing to do inside, right? So we were outdoors more. And I know that's not really part of what we're talking about here, but I'm just curious. Is it related? No, it's totally related. And part of, you'll see in my books, in my neuropsycho app, where all these steps are the neuropy, I literally walk you through the process. And in the children's book, the active reaches, I encourage that physical activity. I encourage, and you'll see throughout the actual five steps you can bring in the physical

activity in different ways. So basically your body, your mind stores in three places. mind, which is all around you, these gravitational fields and so on, brain, the trees, but in the body, in the cells. So therefore, that's why we have body memory. That's why when you have recall something that you get your body responds as well. So that body response is really important. Like, for example, if you're trying to get your children to talk after school and they don't want to talk and let them have a little rest, but go for a walk, start doing something. And the action activates and releases. So it's not that the non-conscious is the body.

It's that the non-conscious is operating in the body. driving system it's your mind driving so your unconscious is the thing that's always using every part of you your mind brain and body are on your side that all we have this intent this this psychoreobiological link that is our superpower that literally when we understand how to read it we can move forward so you explained you said if you feel angst you can feel your body feeling it angst emotional warning signal your body feeling it physical warning signal you you're probably not totally focus initially on your behaviors and your perspective, then you move, as you move, you start unlocking and getting an idea of, and that's fall under the behavioral signal as well.

Then it starts unlocking the others and you start getting into that space where you can work on going through this process. And then you can fit movement in anywhere. The reason I feel so big about physical stuff and brain mental health is like, take your spouse for a second. You think about the moments of your life that you feel the most connected. Let's just be honest. Some of it can be your sexual time with that.

Why? What's happening? Something physical is happening between the two of you. When I want to open up and like with my children or something like that, when I really want to get them to talk, you're so brilliant because I found, you know, putting them on the couch or sitting on their bed is okay. But if we take a walk, we're brilliant. We take a walk to your point. We're changing something there. You know, even laying on the couch with your spouse watching Netflix when they're actually touching each other and laying on each other compared to when, you know, they're on one side of the couch and you're on one side of the couch and you're on.

on the other. There's just, there's a deeper connection when something physical's involved. Exactly. The other part of it that you write about in the book that I've never really looked at before, and you talk about this particularly with children. So the book is written, you know, Dr. Lease books have been for everybody. This one's more specifically guided towards children, but really everything in there. Right. Parents for children. Right. Yeah, parents and children. Right. But sleep. So if you have a child or yourself, because I know this is true with me, when I'm not sleeping, something's not so good with me typically right but it's interesting to me I never thought about sleep when it came to my children if they're not sleeping that's probably an indicator or something so

talk about sleep and children and even how it relates to each of us individually absolutely well what I've tried to do in this book is to try and find the things that I know are hot button topics to try and help parents have a and to teach the neuropsychic in such a way that it's super simple it's very practical whatever so I take areas like trauma sleep etc and I'm glad you've mentioned the sleep because there's so much scariness around sleep too because you know you've got to a doctor, one of the first things they'll say about you, is your child sleeping? Are you sleeping? And they have to sleep, well, they're going to die.

It's not quite that extreme. But, you know, it's very fearmongering. And yes, there is a valid point to sleep. Sleep is very important. But how many hours of sleep a person should sleep in a day? We don't actually know. Really? And also, people have different patterns of sleep.

So this thing that your child must sleep eight hours a day is not necessarily true. Yes, exactly. But if your child isn't sleeping and there is a persistent pattern of bad sleep, there's something going on. That's definitely what be classified under your behavioral warning signals and it's worth investigating. And that's why I actually put sleep neuropsychles into the book on things. There's different ones that you can do because preparing yourself for sleep starts when you wake up in the morning. You know, it's like when you wake up in the morning, the first thing is as the chemistry starts readjusting so that you can become conscious

at that moment to train yourself to just, what are my four signals? What am I feeling? Am I complaining? Am I feeling sad? Am I complaining? Quickly assess. Do a quick assessment of your four signals. So it's what are my emotions, what's my body doing, what are my behaviors in this moment? Like I know I'm lying in bed, but am I tense? And what's my perspective? I don't want to do today. If you can catch that, it takes you, those four things can take you 10 seconds and can

really, really prepare you for a night's sleep. It sets you into it, opens your mind that you can actually then face the day. So that's one thing. You can do, I've got a whole thing there that you can do a sleep neuropycle for children as they wake up. Then if you see there's a pattern of children not sleeping. it's to find a time during the day that's a good time either early evening when they've been to school

they've had dinner they've played that's sort of a good time to kind of work around but you can find don't do this when they exhaust it and then you can do a whole neuropsychal to try and work through what the cause could be when we don't sleep the main reason we don't sleep and a lot of people will maybe not agree with me here but the main reason we don't sleep is because we have unresolved

issues that are scared of it sure agree it changes your energy and your brain and your brain all the things are melatonin all those things, because there's so many cases, and I actually give a case in the study in the book, I was very, you know, quite a traumatic situation of a child who was abused physically and sexually from three months of age, but just could not sleep through the night. And they did everything, all the sleep aids, all the white noise, everything you can possibly do. And not that those don't work, they are definitely going to facilitate and help.

But the core issue was the child's abuse and what the impact of that, although the child was out of that unsafe environment, that you had to deal with what we were. was going on and that child was very young. So once the parent just happened to come across my stuff and do the neuropsychil and the child saw the parent doing it and sort of doing it and within four days this child was sleeping. Now this was an eight-year-old. They didn't, well, they didn't use this book because this book wasn't out yet. The child saw what the mom was doing sort of change in the mom because the kids watch us and

this was an eight-year-old and said, I want to do what you're doing. And so she adapted it as best she could and this child started sleeping within four days. So the core issue there was a trauma that was unresolved. And you said it yourself, I know, I do. If I've got something that I haven't dealt with or something's worried me or I have that phone call before bed, that's it. My sleep's gone until I've dealt with. Can I give you one with children that I think is unsaid?

And I know you're such a person of faith, so I'm going to give you what helps me sleep. And it leads to this unresolved stuff. And I just want to say this to everybody. It's prayer. And let me say why. So prayer at night is a chance for me to take my. my burdens and put them on my higher power. In my case, Jesus, but whatever your faith is, and I know you share my faith. And I wonder how many people are praying with their children

at night, because this is an opportunity for your children to probably open up. I think it's an opportunity for them to relieve themselves of their burdens. And I have found that when I have really deep, beautiful prayer, even if it's brief, that I sleep better at night, because there's a perspective that I get that I'm protected and safe I really wonder that the second thing is I want to ask you about both these so this is for adults but it also affects our children more and more our children are on their screens late at night I know it's just a brain issue so I'm not just necessarily trauma but there's all this data about blue screen time and how it's difficult to sleep I don't know if it's accurate or not but I know there's when you're doing homework it's stressful I think

people let their children do their homework too late at night and now that's a problem now it's a stressor now it's a trauma also they're on their screen and a lot of these schools put so much homework on their children this is being real yeah the school system's a problem so when your kids get home from school wouldn't it be smarter to get them a to start doing their homework earlier so they're off of their screens and away from stressful stuff before sleep also true for you as an adult and just prayer i know it's not a major part of what's happening in here but am i right that both of those things would probably make an impact on sleep and maybe then they're mental health. Absolutely.

You know, if you look at prayer in terms of any religion or any philosophy or any belief, if people don't even believe in anything, it can be seen as a way of just trying to organize yourself and then believe that it's not just me. There's something more. And we know what's common to all mankind and that's love. So, you know, to talk to a child about loveness, so you could do a loveness in your cycle. You could call it a prayer in your cycle, whatever you want. But you can actually say, okay, well, let's look at what are, what am I feeling right now?

And why do we think we feel that? And you can go through the five steps and that's your prayer. And your little active reach could maybe be in some quote, a little script or it could be a visualization of something, whatever, a beautiful quote or something like that. So that is basically a form of prayer because you're tuning into an unconscious, which is your spirit, which is your wisdom, which is your, and you're teaching a child to do that. So yes, it is a form of unloading your burdens into either you believe it's Jesus, God. loveness, whatever. I love to talk about godness and loveness because that's something that's relatable to anyone. So you kind of

step into that space and there's so much physics behind this too, and quantum physics and science behind how you're collapsing the consciousness. I mean, it's just we could talk for another two hours about that. So yes, totally, I do believe that and it'll set your brain waves to a point where your brain can start shifting into sleep

mode, which will then have a neurochemical effect on the melatonin and those kinds of things in controlling adrenaline. So it will have, it has, what I've shown with my work is that when you use mind stuff and specifically the tool of the neuropsychol, which is mind management, and as I said, you can put whatever you want in that, you are changing your psycho-neurobiology. So you're changing cortisol levels, you're changing homocysteine levels, you're changing all the

things that can keep you awake. You are getting them to the point with it. You're dropping, changing, getting brain balance with the brain waves, that kind of stuff. So it's real. I mean, that's very, very real. I don't think I've done an interview in like 45 or 50 minutes with more stuff. We've done thought trees. We've done the neuro cycle.

We've done the non-conscious mind. We've done all of these different things here. We've done the highlight reel, which I kicked in here today. If I was asked you, I get to ask you one more question. Did you want me to answer the second part of the other question? Yes, yes. What was the second part of the other question was blue screen. Oh, yes.

Okay. Bullying, social media, all that stuff. It's immersed us in stimulation. So it's good, very good and bad. it's all we need to do is teach our kids to manage it that's the key it's not going away so it's not a bad thing if we know how to manage it so it's just finding what works for you and your family in terms of blue screens and all those things there's a lot of science that supports and contradicts the concept listen if a person's worked up it doesn't matter what you do about blue screens they're still going to stay awake so sometimes people if they're relaxed enough and they're watching their film or whatever before they go to sleep it's not going to be an issue it's very much up to the individual it's how we are managing it's what you're You've got to experiment with your child and with yourself and see what works for you. Okay. That's really important.

So it's that by individual aspect. But just to bear in mind, if we don't manage the immersion that we live in, before, for example, very quick, kids would get bullied at school. That's not anything. Bullying's been around since the beginning of time. The difference is it follows them home now. It's 24. It's an immersion versus an immersion experience versus an intermittent experience. And when you have that distinction, that's what, so we have to learn to manage the immersion.

So, I mean, I can go for hours about that alone. But that kind of gives you. you to stay for hours. I would actually love that. Unfortunately, you have somewhere to go. I can sit here all day if you want. I know. I could stay all day chatting to you as well. Let me ask you one last question because I think people want to know this. I have a very good friend. I've been thinking about the entire interview who has a child that's just really had chronic struggles with mental health issues over and over to the point where they've done

cutting and it's gotten really severe. And that child probably, in my opinion, should be more physically active. I know they have prayer in their life that neural cycle could be a game changer for them. So I can't wait for them to hear this. I really, really believe the neural cycle could be a game changer. And I think that maybe in 63 to a certain amount of days, if it's more traumatic, you said a little bit longer, that someone can create positive and or remove negative things in their life. Balance the two together. When is, I guess the last question I would have for today is, because it's worth asking, when is it time for medication with somebody in their brain? Is that something that, you know, you must believe in some cases if someone's, you know, schizophrenic,

the potentially any medication, or do you believe medication never? When does someone take a step and the risks of doing so? Okay, so a loaded question. First of all, just to quickly refer to your friend's child who's self-harming. What is the age just very quickly? Teenager. Teenager. Okay. So that, what they need, what we all need is to feel empowered and not to feel that there's something wrong with us. And our current biomedical model will say that you've got a broken brain. And so that creates a sense of hopelessness. We also need to help our children develop psychological immunity so not just immune system like our immune system helps you know we build our immune system you build your muscles and resistance training we've got to build

our psychological immunity and what we've taken from our children in a lot of our current models is that ability to say it's okay to be a mess let's work through this mess together so a huge part of my work in the book that I've just released is about you as a parent knowing how to manage your own get your own and then model what they see they catch it exactly and then allowing a child's space, no matter what they say to you, no judgment, no compassion, but saying, listen, I see how you're showing up, I validate, I recognize, let's work through this together. Here's a system that's scientific, that we can work to you together, and the key is empowerment. You have to get a person empowered to change their relationship with

themselves. And when that happens, that's when the growth comes. The cutting the self-harm, whether, whatever it is, alcohol addiction, whatever it may be, is coming from, yes, the trauma. You can go through all the, I bet you that. child probably has had so much therapy that they can tell you why they're doing it to a certain extent. But to get the change in a person's life, it starts with feeling, okay, I am empowered to do this. It's okay to be like this. It's not me. I'm responding to life circumstances. Here's a plan for me to be able to move forward and be empowered to actually realize that my brain and my body do what my mind, I know my wise mind wants it to do. So that's a simple

answer to that. Medication is a very complex answer, but I'm going to do the easiest, quickest version up front I'm not telling anyone to stop their medication immediately because of the withdrawal it's make a quick distinction between drugs and medicine medicines are aimed to try and fix a problem like insulin for diabetes we can we can test for diabetes we can find we know there's a biological cause and we've got a drug that's fairly specific to the problem when it comes to where is a child cutting which is a behavior depression perspective of life sucks battling all the things that you describe with your friend's child, which is obviously this

is very surface what I'm saying, but that cluster of things, that is not a brain disease that's going to be fixed by a drug. That's not coming from something wrong in the brain and a chemical imbalance. It's coming from some cluster of toxic issues and things that that child does not know how to process. Self-cutting, for example, is so much pain inside yourself that it's too much inside so it's easier to transfer the pain to the cutting so that that pain detracts from the internal pain and that's an energy that's no energy's lost it's only transferred so it's transferred energy so we must transfer child's energy into being able to create safe spaces so that they can talk to us as parents not just the therapist but us as parents caregivers

people that they trust peers peers are fantastic for supporting and that will help them sort of transfer that energy so a drug is something that like alcohol cocaine and psychotropics. They fall under the same category. They're not fixing anything. They're not restoring. There are drugs. And a drug is a psychoactive substance, so it changes the state of the brain versus a medicine

is trying to fix something. So antidepressants aren't fixing chemical imbalance. That's been disproved. It's a myth. The pillars of psychiatry that are used to say that you've got a chemical imbalance, et cetera. They're not doing that. What they're doing is they are providing temporary relief.

So if someone is in such a bad state. So, for example, someone's having very extremely delusions and hallucinations, which is not a disease of schizophrenia, it's schizophrenia symptoms. So instead of saying schizophrenia, bipolar, et cetera, as a label or diagnosis, which is very unscientific and inaccurate and does this, actually does harm research is shown to the person. It doesn't recognize the enormity of what they're going through. It's rather, let's say, they describe it as behaviors because of something huge in their life. And let's look at this whole person. They don't need a disease label and a medication to validate what they're going through. It's valid enough for them to get the support they need.

A label and a drug put it in a little box and make it small, telling them the story, letting them talk going through that process gives it the size that it needs if that makes sense. So the drug, the way I would recommend drugs is to see them as drugs, not medications. And if someone's in an extreme state, temporally, like you don't, if you have a headache, you take an ibuprofen to relieve the symptoms. but you don't go on ibuprofen chronically, in other words, every day. That's how we should look at these things.

Great answer. So if someone's in a really bad way. Medicine, and by the way, she also said in the very beginning that if you're on medication, she's not encouraging you to get off of it. And if people do want to withdraw, I have interviewed top scientists in the world

that are drug withdrawal experts, and they can go and listen to my podcast and they can search through drug withdrawal and they'll have the top experts with all the resources to guide them through that process. What a remarkable conversation. It just flew by. I did.

did fly by. You're brilliant. You're exactly how I introduced you. You're very kind. I think the neuropsychel can change people's lives on undoing trauma, undoing negative thoughts, but also creating your life through the neural cycle. So guys, I'd pour myself into that. You can get any of Dr. Leaves books, but right now you've got how to help your child clean up their mental mess, which boy do we need, a guide to building resilience and managing mental health, which all of you and I need. And we have brainy, which is a toy for the kids that we've created. There's a brainy character throughout the book, Eden. We've made toys as well. So it's really something about the parent

and the child. The child can hold us up and... You're awesome. You guys, get the book. Share the episode. Change people's lives. It's that simple. We're the number one growing show on the planet because y'all share it every single week because I get brilliant people to sit across from me and we get the best from them in the hour we spend

with them. Thank you. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Edmielette show on Apple and Spotify. in the show notes. Now on with the show. Welcome back. So good to have you with me here today, and I'm honored to spend this brief time with you. I think I have something important to ask you about and for us to visit about today. So let's get right into it. What are your fears costing you? I think it's time to evaluate that. Like you and I right now, what are your fears costing you? You know, we have these weights that weigh us down in our lives, these burdens, these fears that we have.

Have you ever stopped to think about what it's actually costing you to have these anchors and these weights wearing you down, these fears? You know, people ask me all the time, Ed, is making your dreams come true, the work you put in, the sacrifices you made, the people that let you down all the dark times in your life, all the times you went broke, both financially and emotionally, is it worth it? It's a very interesting question because they always phrase it that way. is it worth it? Yet in our lives, we spend most of our times evaluating and contemplating what it's going to cost us. So let me say something to you up front. The price you will pay to become the

person you're worthy of, the price you will pay to become the real you, the price you will pay to make your dreams come true and your vision of reality and the people around you, blissful and happy, that price, and there's a severe price, is infinitely smaller than the price you're going to pay if you don't, and that others around you will pay. You know, I don't think God gave you another day in your life because you needed it. I think he added another day to your life because somebody needed you. But here's the thing. They need the real you, the authentic you, the one who's playing all out in their life

and pursuing their dreams. I can tell you, the answer to that question is, as good as you think it'll be to make your dreams come true and dreams that you can't even imagine right now, visions of your life, but maybe even more importantly, as good as you think it would feel to meet the real you, the one you were born to be. And remember this, you were born to do something great with your life, but to finally get introduced or reacquainted or reintroduced to that person. Maybe years ago knew them very well, that version of you, but things have happened,

these anchors, these fears, these toxic relationships, whatever they might be, these disappointments in our life, we've moved so far away from that person that we're capable of becoming that we don't even recognize them anymore. as good as you think it'll be to meet that person for the first time or once again. It's a million times better. Now, here's the hook. You have to start thinking like a rich person. And I don't mean just financially.

I mean rich in spirit, rich in emotions, rich in relationships. And for many of you, including me, we want to be rich financially. People ask me all the time, Ed, why do you put out all this free content? I mean, you put out the best content in the world. Everybody else charges for inferior content. You put out the best stuff, and I appreciate when people say that. and you don't really charge for it. This is free.

I do that because I believe in the law of reciprocity. I also want to make the world better. And I believe I put out enough good stuff. If someday I ask you to come to an event or participate in something, you probably want to come. I want to pour into you because I don't think God gave me another day because I needed it. I think he gave me another day because people need me and they need you. And you need to remember you were born to do something great with your life,

my brother, my sister. You were. And I want to remind you of that today. but I think it's time to evaluate what are my fears my patterns a toxic person in a relationship that I'm in with right now that's weighing me down what's it ultimately costing me because it's just your life that's all we're talking was just you just your life and by the way you're not getting out of it alive you are not getting out of this alive so all these things that are weighing you down are truly silly because at the end we all end up in the same situation where our body

eventually ceases do exist. And hopefully our soul goes to heaven. But in your case, you got to stop thinking like a poor person. And I'm talking to me as much as I am you. Let me tell what I mean by poor. Poor and spirit, poor and emotion and poor financially. See, when I was broke financially, when I would go into a store and I wanted something, I wouldn't get what I wanted. I would get what I could afford. Sound familiar? So I was a guy who would flip price tags over. Oh, it's this, it's this. And I would evaluate what it would cost. me, not what it was worth. And so oftentimes in life, people ask me, Ed, was it worth it? But in their life, they spend most of the time contemplating the cost. It's going to cost me

this. It's going to cost me that. You know, maybe I want to become the person or go to cost me losing this person in my life. It'll cost me time. It'll cost me my hobby that I like spending so much time in. It'll cost me pain and emotion and whatever it might. It'll cost me, I'd have to let go of my fears. I have to let go of my patterns. And these invisible things that weigh us down in our life. They kill us. And so there's a lot of walking dead in the world. There's this old saying that, they say it about men, but it's people. Most people die 75 or 80 years old, but they really stopped living at 21 or 22 or 23 years old. We just don't put them into the ground until they're older. Too many people are walking around like this and maybe you relate to it. Maybe you relate to

a percentage of it. These fears, these relationships, these things we worry about, these invisible man what are people going to be thinking about me do you want to get to the end of your life and if someone asked you honestly how did you live your life do you want to answer truthfully scared i lived afraid afraid i wasn't good enough afraid i wasn't worth it afraid of what other people would think about me afraid to lose people around me that didn't even love me or care about me or want me to be my best i lived my life afraid or at the end you want to say man i maxed out my life. I got all the emotions, all the memories, all the achievements, all the richness in every area out of my life. I maxed out my life. Well, I could tell you this, if you hold onto these anchors

much longer, it's going to keep costing you. And the longer you do it, see, even these things, sometimes what holds us back is are feeling bad about things we've done in the past that we're not proud of. And we use these memories as weapons against ourselves. We stab ourselves with it over and over or someone who's cheated on us or made a mistake. We use them as weapons. against ourselves. And that's what you need to be asking yourself whether it's worth it. Is it worth it to make your dreams come true? Is it worth it to change? Is it worth it to grow? You bet it is a million times better. Because when you make your original dreams come true, you don't understand the ripple effects of all these other things you can't even think about right

now that happened. When you meet the real you, it's spectacular. You have to remember this. You can't love yourself. Everyone here, man and woman, macho man and every single buddy, listen to this. You can't love yourself. If you can't love yourself, if you're not. You can't love yourself. if you don't even know yourself, and you can't know yourself if you're not truly being yourself and these anchors cause us not to be us. I'm personally haunted with the thought of getting to the end of my life and never meeting me, never getting introduced to me. I want to meet that man. I'm interested in who he is. And I want to do the things every single day. Because once I got wealthy and I was rich and I went into a store. I didn't look at price tags anymore. I looked at

whether it was worth it and I got what I wanted. And our lives are a perfect metaphor of that. We're constantly evaluating the cost instead of whether or not it's worth it. Cost versus worth worth is a subtle difference. Is it worth it to change? Is it worth it to let go of these memories? Is it worth it to drop your fears? You'll never meet you otherwise. Some of us are held back by crappy programming our parents installed in us when we were young. Remember this. Most things in life are caught, not taught. We catch a way of thinking. We catch a way of having emotions. And we have to undergo. We have to unleash ourselves and let go of those things in our life. So what's the thing for you? What's the thing? Is it a person you need to let go of? Is it a fear you need to let go of?

Is it an operating pattern? Is it a memory as a weapon you're using against yourself? Is it just, you're just not sure? You got to remember who the hell you are. And if you've never met a you need to get introduced and you need to get acquainted because I can tell you of all the jets and islands and cool stuff I've accumulated in my life, all the accumulations are wonderful and I want you to accumulate the things you want that will provide memories for your family if they matter to you, the donations you can make, the people you can be there for, all the different things you can do when you get financially secure. All those things are incredible, but they don't bring us fulfillment. They can bring us temporary happiness and there's nothing wrong with temporary

happiness, but fulfillment. All of that stuff doesn't add up to meeting. you finally meeting you at some point in your life don't you want to meet you or get reacquainted because you once knew her there was a time in your life where you knew her or him you'll never meet them otherwise and so i have to tell you something you have to start you have to start to make a bold move in your life because you're worth it your family's worth it and the world needs you you were born for a reason you were born to do something great in small ways and in big ways in your life and oftentimes in our lives would hold us back sometimes is the stories we tell ourselves see it's not the events of our lives circumstances that define us it's the meaning we

take away from those events and those meanings create an emotion and that emotion drives our behavior that emotion of fear that emotion of anxiety that emotion of sadness or it could be an emotion of bliss, of confidence, of increase, of belief, of being guided, of being protected. But you have to ask yourself that question. See, it's not the event. It's the stories we tell ourselves. And listen to me, an emotion cannot exist long term without a story attached to it.

You've had a lot of things happen in your life that were emotional, but the story didn't stick or you didn't take away the wrong meaning. and so that emotion doesn't stay. If you're feeling one of those emotions, it's attached to a story. It's a story you're telling yourself. The emotion can't stay without the story. And the story is just the meaning you took from the event. It's just a meaning you took from an event.

So sometimes the story you're telling yourself is, I don't want to be alone, so I'm hanging on to this person that still weighs me down. Or where I'm at is good enough because I don't want to risk what I've got, and that's a story. Or I've made this mistake before. or someone hurt me and what it meant was X, Y, Z, and you have a feeling about it. These anchors are actually lies we tell ourselves that are anchored in a story that doesn't serve us that causes an emotion that sticks.

So if we change the story, either we take a different meaning from an event and say, could it have meant this? See, when I was a young man with my dad's drinking, I thought, this means our families less than and we're dysfunctional and all these things I attach to the, to the, to the, the meaning I attached to that story that was happening. And then at one point, I realized, no, what was actually happening was God was using that to teach me how to learn to be present with people and read people and be empathetic with people and believe in people and that God was using that story for me. When my baseball career ended, I was injured. It probably ended a career that

would have ended anyway, quite frankly, but I was a pretty good player. And when I got injured, I remember thinking, man, this is my only dream in my entire life, right? God does doesn't answer prayers, right? This was my prayer to do this, right? The meaning of this is I just was never good enough. The meaning from it was, it just wasn't meant to be. I wasn't meant to be somebody. I wasn't meant to do something great with my life. And I attached all these meanings to what was a pretty traumatic event. But I could have attached the meaning of that time that God's got something bigger in store for me, that there's something bigger and bolder for me. And that Ed Milet, I thought I was, was not going to be a baseball player, but the Ed Milet I thought I was could

be this other person who contributes to millions of people's lives. So, once I attached a meaning to it that what God really did was I probably would have played three or four or five more years and then been released and then been in my mid to late 20s and maybe I wouldn't have taken advantage of a lot of the opportunities that came along. So that career ended right when it was supposed to so that I could start to redirect my life in a direction. And from there, I got a job at an orphanage and that orphanage changed my life. Because of that orphanage, I met these young boys that looked just like me. These boys were all wards of the court. They were taken from their families or their families were incarcerated or dead and

had molested them at some point in their life. And so baseball ended. I'm finding myself making $6 an hour at an orphanage. And I'm thinking, God, you took multi-million dollars playing in front of hundreds of thousands of people a year, 50,000 people a night from me to be with eight children and a cottage making six bucks an hour. And that's exactly what he was doing, because what I needed to be was I needed to be connected with people. I needed to love people. And what's even crazier about it is the way I connected with those boys is they had grown up with all this pain and suffering and dysfunction in their homes. And that's what I grew up with in a different way with my father being an alcoholic when I was young. My career had to end that

exact day it ended so that I would end up in that exact house with those exact boys and they could have someone who understood them, who could see them and knew who they really were because I was just like them. I recently said to Jesse Lee on my podcast, I said all people that go through any pain in their life, especially when they're young, we have different eyes. We just have different eyes. Our eyes just say, please love me. Please protect me. Please be good to me. Please be kind. Please be gentle. Please believe in me. We have these different eyes. And I remember when I walked in there, they had my eyes. Not the same color eyes. My boys were of every ethnicity, every background.

We had those eyes. And when I meet someone who's gone through pain in their life, I see those eyes. But I found out something. We don't just have the same eyes. We actually have the same heart. We have the same heart. And every single human being has that heart.

It's whether or not they'll unleash it. Unleash the real them. Release the real them. Or will they continue in their life to suppress the real them and settle for this less than version of them, because they've created a bunch of stories and a bunch of fears and a bunch of relationships in their life that they hide in these stories, they hide in these emotions and they never unleashed the real them. I've figured this out. All I've ever wanted to do is change how I feel.

I didn't like how I felt. I wanted to change how I feel so I would accumulate and achieve and do things to change how I feel in my life. And as I've gotten older, I've realized if I can change how I feel, I can get all those things the easy way. And that's what I've started to do in my life, maybe from 40 to right now, 52 years old. So I want to challenge you today, evaluate this thought, evaluate what are your fears costing you? What are these anchors costing you? I want you to really pray about it, really think about if you're on a walk right now, you're driving in your car, just what's it cost to me? And what would my life look like, potentially? And by the way, you don't even really know. Just so you know, it's going to be so much bigger, so much more beautiful, so many small

things that are going to happen along the way of you meeting you. And by the way, what's great is you'll continue to meet new versions of you. See, when you start to live your life without all these fears, without all these people anchoring you down with all these patterns and stories, what's great about it is there's a new you that shows up every couple years. And there's this new version of you, an improved version of you, every year. One of the things I'm excited about is to meet the 55-year-old me, because I didn't die at 21 or 22 like most people, getting around to bury me at 85 or 90. No, no, no, no. I'm reborn all the time. I can't wait to make the 55-year-old me. I'm chasing that guy. When I get there, I can't wait to meet the 60-year-old me.

The 25-year-old me was nothing like the 30-year-old me. I mean, a similar character, but different life, different contribution, different thoughts. Too many people are exactly the same person they were two or three years ago. And that's what it's really costing you, isn't it? And the reason you're not happy or as happy as you could be is you know this isn't you. You know this isn't you. You know this isn't you. You know there's more in you. Deep down in your heart and your soul and your spirit. The reason you're not happy isn't these other people, isn't your boss, isn't your job, isn't your body, isn't your lack of money, isn't any of it. It's that you know this really isn't you. you know this really isn't you and it's time you meet him it's time you meet her it's time at least

you get reacquainted if you once knew them i want to challenge you to do that today i want to challenge you to step out and drop whatever that anchor is or multiple anchors are these weapons you're using these mistakes you've made these choices that you regret blah blah blah stop it that's not who you your destiny's now it's in the future it's moving forward and there's something great waiting for you and is the price worth it absolutely is the cost worth it worth it, a thousand percent because eventually you start getting what you want, not just what you can afford in your life. And here's the truth. You can't afford to get to the end of this life without meeting you because only then will you love you. When you're being you, you can meet you

and when you meet you, you can truly love you. It's time for you to step up. Remember once again, I'm going to tell you, he didn't add another day for you because you needed it. He added another day because some other person and the world needs the real you.