THE ED MYLETT SHOW - A Practical Guide on How To Change Your World with John Maxwell

Episode Date: June 22, 2024

Get ready to transform your world with this FLASHBACK MASHUP episode featuring insights from John Maxwell, Jay Shetty, and Me! In this episode you'll learn the secrets to real, lasting change, how to harness the power of your values and use them as a foundation to turn your world around. Join us as we dive into practical strategies and actionable steps, including: The importance of starting with your values. How to create transformation tables and build social trust. Why great intentions can be a powerful catalyst for success. The concept of being a possibilist—balancing reality with possibility. The three keys of leadership that sustain long-term impact. These are the tools that will equip you to become a positive force for change in your own world. This is not just theory; it’s proven, real-world advice from the greatest leadership minds of our time. Grab your pen and paper—this episode is packed with transformative knowledge that you can start applying today. Don't just listen; get ready to change your world! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

When your celebration of life is prepaid in advance, it becomes a gift from you to your family later, because no one should have to plan for a loss while they're experiencing one. Paying in advance protects your loved ones and gives you the peace of mind you deserve. Let us help you plan every detail with professionalism and compassion. We are your local Dignity Memorial provider. Find us at DignityMemorial.ca So hey guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now? Maybe stunted in your progress? Well if you are, I want to recommend a place for you to go called Growth Day. GrowthDay.com forward slash ed. It is the number one personal development app on the planet.

It's got all kinds of high performance techniques in there, courses, accountability, journaling, live speeches from some of the top influencers in the world, including me. It's an overall environment to change your life. Growthday.com forward slash Ed. This is the end. I think when people hear that, they think, Hey, you say in the book, anybody can transform their life, but does that really apply to me? Can anyone actually change their world?

And I'd like you to speak to that. And I love the question. And I think that here's, here's where the miss is. I think that most of the time when we're talking about positive change, we leave it to others because we really don't think that we're probably capable of doing it. In fact, I call the book Change Your World, not Change the World. Change the world's too big. It's overwhelming. So I'm just asking people to go into the world. I mean, you know, your family, your friends, maybe a few people that you work with, but I'm asking them to go into that world

and become a positive influence, positive force with the people around them. And what really excites me about the book and our time together today is that the book has no theory in it. It's all proven work. I'm not throwing out a book and saying, I think maybe if we did this that we could change our world.

And I'm not hyping people or pie in the sky stuff. We're not going to Disneyland today. It's just stuff that it works. And I know it works because I've been able to see it firsthand. I've been able to lead it.. I've been able to lead it. And to be able to put a book like this in the hands of any person, and have them not have a false promise, but have a true promise that they can really make a difference with someone else,

is just an incredible feeling. So I can say, you know, I've written 86 books. So that's a few. And by the way, that's no, hey, Ed, when you think about it, that's no big deal. You've gotta be old. You've gotta be old. If you're not old, you can't write 86 books.

So I tell people, no, relax, take a pill. It's not that big of a deal. You just have to be old to do 86 books. But of the 86 books that I've done, this one is the most fulfilling. It's a timely book. It's very timely,, it's very timely, but I'm very excited because what do leaders do?

Leaders offer hope in the darkest hour. And honestly, when crisis comes, you separate the players from the pretenders real quick. And so we're in a crisis and I'm giving an opportunity for all of us to be players. You know, I noticed, John, I noticed that, by the way, on the book, I was gonna ask you that. It didn't say change the world, it said change your world.

That was one of the things I actually wanted to ask you about. And so you kind of started out there. And like most of John's books, guys, it goes right into the granular, like, here's what you do. And on that hope topic, you have this great term in there called a possiblist. You need to become a possiblist. And on that hope topic, you have this great term in there called a possiblist. You need to become a possiblist.

What is that? Explain. Don't you love that word? I love it. I love it. It took me about a month to learn how to say it. So let's start. I got it out of the way early in the interview.

I'm like, I'm gonna say this correctly early. Yeah. I could write it before I could say it, but I love it because what this, a possible list is a person who doesn't deny reality. I mean, they don't have their head in the sand. They don't say, they're not just an optimist and everything's good and everything's gonna come out okay

without any kind of substantial support to their statement. A possibleist sees reality, sees the downside, but also sees the possibility. And by the way, I think that's the I think that's what a leader is. I think a leader sees reality. In fact, you know, Max DeBree says the first responsibility of a leader, Ed, is to define reality. So we don't do our people a favor when we leave reality. In fact, I think reality is the foundation of building a dream. I watch people try to build a dream without reality, and I want to walk into their life and say, it's not going to happen.

You've got to, the foundation is reality is solid. Now you can build something off of it. And a possible list is a person who says, this is very difficult time and this is not going to be easy. And it's not going to be quick. And it's not going to be even sometimes simple, but it can happen. And I'm not only believe it can happen, but I'm going to make it happen. And in other words, a possible list gets involved.

It's awful easy to be an optimist on the sideline, but when you've got to go in the game, all of a sudden that optimism isn't going to show anything in your game. You've got to be able to provide the resources and support to make the game a winner for you. So I love the word because it says we're going to, we're going to, we're not going to deny reality, but we're also going to not deny possibility.

Yeah. And you know, some people they go to reality and lose possibility and some people go to possibility and lose reality. A possibleist says, I take both of them with me. Does that make sense? Totally makes sense. I have not heard it said that way, because I talk a lot about operating out of your imagination and not your memory or your history.

I think a lot of people just keep operating out of their memory and their history. They don't give themselves the gift of being what I call a possibility thinker. And I love possibleist. It's so beautiful, because now what you've added to that, though, that is really valid is, you also have to define reality.

I think a lot of times these, you know, you is really valid is you also have to define reality. I think a lot of times these, you know, you gotta dream big, you gotta have possibilities, but defining where you are is the place you're going to begin. And what I love about the book, actually for me, you know, I'm trying to, in my life, you know, I have different businesses.

And so as I was reading the book, I'm like, this really applies to turning around this one particular part of my life and my business. And I was fascinated because John lays foundations guys, it's steps in this book. And I thought it was interesting that really you start sort of with values and that that's sort of the foundation of transformation. I think this is valuable because if you've been hurt through what's going on in

the economy right now and in the world and you're like, where the heck do I begin to turn my world around? John recommends you start with getting clear again on your value. So talk about that a little bit, John, because it's beautiful. And I not read that anywhere else. Well, thanks for bringing that up.

And if it's OK, I would like to give all of your people a behind the scenes. It's not in the book at all. But I'd like to give context. I'd like to pull back the curtain for a moment. Because I gotta go clear back to 2002. And if you go back there, I mean, if you picked up the Time Magazine in 2002,

they summarized that year as the year of distrust. Because all I gotta do is say Enron, okay? That was the year when corporate scandals were rampant. And, and what we said we were and what we were was not the same thing. And employees got hurt and clients got hurt and corporations just went belly up and all kind of bad things happen. I was writing at that time for Time Warner, and Larry Kirschbaum, who was the CEO of the book division of Time Warner called me up to New York City. We had a long dinner.

And he said, John, I want you to write a book on business ethics for us. I, we just really need this voice in America right now. And I told him, I said, I can't. And he said, why, why can't you? I said, because there's no such thing as business ethics. And he looks at me and he said, what do you mean? Look what's happening in the business world? I said, I know, I understand that. But there's still no such thing as business ethics. I said, there's just ethics. Just ethics. It's not

business ethics. It's not home ethics. It's not community ethics. It's not relationship. It's, it's ethics. And either you have them or you don't. And by the way, if you have them, they work in business. Oh, happy day. Okay, we're cooking. You with me? So he gets it real quick. And he's, oh, I got it. He said, well, can you write a book on ethics? And I said, I'm not sure. He said, okay, you're holding back on me again. And I said, how do you write a book? I mean, ethics is all about doing the right thing for the right reason, regardless of the situation. I said, how can you write a book on ethics

when there's no truth or absolutes? I mean, in a world of relativism, how do you get anything substantial? And I said, you're gonna have to give me a little time to see if I can write the book on it. And so I went with my research writing team. We talked about it a lot. And we finally came up with an answer.

So I wrote the book on ethics and the answer was very simple. We wrote the book based on the golden rule. Treat other people as you'd like to be treated yourself. And our research team found out that every religion in the world and every culture in the world has the golden rule. So it's not like I'm telling them something they don't already know, or probably haven't even embraced. So we wrote that book. And it was a game changer. I mean, I was interviewed by Chicago Tribune, Wall Street Journal, I went to West Point, I mean, I went to places and they said, talk to us about,

and all of a sudden the light turned on in my life. And I realized back in 2002, that the golden rule was just nothing more than a good value. This is a good value, treat others as you wanna be treated. It's a good value. All of a sudden I thought good values can make us become good people if we learn them and if we live them. And so I began to, although I trained leadership skills

and everybody knows that, I developed leaders. I got that part. I said, I wanna do more than help people with leadership skills. I wanna help people not only be trained leaders, I wanna help them be transformational leaders. And transformation is an inside job. It's a values issue.

And it's one thing. Okay, let me give you an example. I'm known for the statement, everything rises and falls on leadership. Yep. That's the good and the ugly, the good and the bad of leadership rises or falls. You got a bad leader, it falls, good leader falls.

Now, what makes leadership rise Ed? Two things, competence, in other words, you have to be a good leader and good values and you can't divorce them. You're not gonna rise if you have great skills but you have terrible values. And if you have great values

but you have terrible skills, you can't lead anybody. I mean, the good news is they're a friend but they aren't gonna take you anywhere. And so the falls on leadership is when you have bad values and you have bad leadership skills. And so all of a sudden I realized that here we've been training people to lead in leadership skills.

And we train them on what to do and they know how to do the right thing, but we haven't trained them to be right. We haven't trained them to be the right person. I felt like John, I didn't mean to jump in, but I felt like one of the revolutionary parts of the book is the part on transformation tables, is that you make change in groups. And it made me think a couple things guys on values as I read the book and I did the values assessment myself. I think one of the reasons all of you they're trying to make change, I think if

you want it to be long termterm, start different this time. Start with your values. That's the foundation that'll be everlasting. I mean, your values will evolve obviously over time, but the other thing that happens when you take inventory of your values, I think, and it helped me, is I've been talking a lot lately about, you've got to believe you're worthy of success.

You got to give yourself more credit for your intentions. Not enough, I think everyone predicatesates I could be successful as you said when I'm completely ready or when I've got all the answers or I've got this amazing ability to execute. Well how about you deserve the win because you're a good human because you intend to make a difference. There's a lot to be said in this world right now for just somebody with great intentions and not enough good people give themselves credit for having good intentions delivering on their self confidence because they don't take an inventory of it.

And then when you set up these transformation tables he talks about you'll discuss them, but I think it begins to grow within you. And so I just think there's so many granular things like that in the book. You also talk in the book, John, you have to list them all if you don't want to, but I just think his stuff is so real There's like eight like eight streams of influence that you talk about and why they're necessary to for transformation If you want to go through all eight you're welcome to but if you could at least make some reference to it I just feel like it'd be so valuable for someone watching this right now or taking notes or Maybe they're about to pull over to the side of the road so they can write these down

The reason I love to be on your show is you know to pull over to the side of the road so they can write these down. The reason I love to be on your show is you know how to bring the best out of the person you interview. You're a master at it. You really are at your pro. And I got, I'll go to the eight strings, but you know, when you, when you, when you talked about people with good intentions, that all of a sudden we give them courage. We, you know what? We let people that have had good intentions and a good heart out of the closet. Yeah.

We let them, we say, you can get out the closet. You don't have to stay there anymore. And we're gonna give you a simple game plan that, and you don't have to start big. Do you have five friends? Do you have four friends? Do you have three friends that you'd be willing to get together with and just work through these values?

And I, I just love what you said, because I thought to myself, Wow, I wish I would have written it as good as you said it is as far as we, we just really help people who really would like to make a difference but have never had the courage or the confidence. Yeah, the thing it's always kind of had somebody else is going to have to make a difference. I'm just going to hope and pray for it. Right. And then all of a sudden, no, no, no, you can you can walk out of the closet now. And you can start doing it. And so that that transformation that magic happens there, we may come back to the table a little bit because yes, interaction, interaction, hearing other people discuss their, their difficulties and issues just really helps bring everybody out. Let's stay there for a second, John. I think it's too valuable. So it reminded me almost like if you go to church,

there's, you know, you go to church every Sunday, but then sometimes there's like a small group where you sit around at fellowship and you'll share a scripture and discuss it and then it grows and you come back. I think it's, you're right. Let's just finish that for a second. What is a transformation table specifically? And how do I begin to build one? Oh my gosh, okay. Well, it's a small group of people, you know, six, eight, you can get up to 10, but don't, you know, keep it small.

Keep it small. And it's, but it's a place where everybody roots for everybody. There's no judgment there. We don't need any teachers there. We don't even call them. They're facilitators. There's one person may say, Okay, you can you share next, but but but it's a we're in this together. And all we're wanting to do is improve each other. And so it's one for all for one, you can call us the six musketeers around the

around the transformation table or whatever you want to call. But here's what's beautiful. Here's why the table works. There are three questions that people ask. That if they can get those answered, it brings life change to them. And they always ask it about somebody that's leading them. Okay. And these are the three, when I spoke at the United Nations, a few years ago, when I did the opening session at the United Nations to all the ambassadors of the world, I spent two hours on these three questions. But these are, these are the three,

every follower ask a leader, basically these three questions. Now they don't ask them personally, but intuitively they're following for a reason. And the reason is they're looking at that person, whoever it is this leader, and they're asking the questions, first of all, do you care for me? Secondly, can you help me?

And thirdly, can I trust you? Those are the three questions. In the table, here's what makes the transformation table magic. Those three questions are answered every time you eat. This is life change. And when I'm teaching, those three questions can be asked, but I can't answer them to a crowd. When I'm reading it, when I'm writing a book,

they can pick up the book and they can be reading it. But those three questions can't be answered at long distance on a page. You can put people around the table, Ed, and all of a sudden, the trust factor begins to increase because people begin to be vulnerable. Trust is built out of vulnerability. It's not built out of covering.

And authenticity is essential. And all of a sudden you've got people helping each other and you don't have professionals helping each other. You have friends helping each other. And let me tell you something, the difference between a professional help is they'll tell you what you need to know. A friend help will say, I'll walk with you.

Wow, that's great. Oh, that was so good. I'm so glad I got Aaron in this room to get this content for me. I got my contact curator in here and it just becomes absolutely life-changing. Byron. And I want you to know, it's like social trust.

Social trust, every country that does well, every community does well, Ed, has social trust. And any country that doesn't do well lacks it. And social trust is I trust you, I trust you to do what you ought to do most of the time. And when there's distrust, I don't trust you to do what you ought to do most of the time. And if you can see,, I don't trust you to do what you ought to do most of the time.

And if you can see, we've got a trust fall in America right now, a major trust fall. No question. And somebody needs to speak about this issue. Now watch, this is huge. We have got a trust fall and we're looking at each other and we're saying,

oh my gosh, and it's, we're divided and it's you and it gets me and we got our issues and the whole problem. And we've totally lost our way. Around the table, that all disappears. You've got people that are friends and they're saying, well, let me tell you how, what happened with me in that area.

And you've got support. I mean, it's like AA meetings. I mean, there's a reason that they've worked for decades. There's a reason. There's a community at a table that you can get nowhere else. And so what we've watched is, as we've done, we've now put, add two and a half million people through these tables.

So, I mean, it's not like we tried a table last week and we wrote a book about it. Right, we think it might work, yeah. And we have story after story of life change. And the life change comes when people just are sitting around that table. And they're finding out Yes, you care for me. Yes, you are helping me. And oh, yes, I do trust you. And now there is a safe place for people to have change. Because change is

not easy. You referred to that earlier when you know, people change when they heard up they have to, they see enough that they're inspired to, you know, they learn enough that the change is not easy, but around the table, change is as easy as it's ever gonna come. Yeah. Because you're not doing it by yourself.

And that's so, it's so exciting. It's huge. You said, by the way, what you established that table is social trust in that community. And guys, listen, we're just getting in here. We've already talked about the fact, yes, you can make transformation. Yes, you need to be a possibleist.

Yes, it starts with your values. The way you go out and do that is you go out and create one of these transformation tables. These are real applicable things you can do right now that can begin to create the transformation in your world. These are real things. John, I read the book and there's a group of kind of, you know, influences, I guess you call them that are friends of mine that we've all sort of said, hey, let's get together one-on-one. And I actually took the transformational table concept. And next Friday, I'm doing that with a group of men and women that are in this group. And I said, I want to sit, I want to begin to build my own transformation table. I'm not the leader of it.

I want it to be a community. And I said to them actually, ironically, that I wanted to build social trust. And I've learned the three keys of leadership from John Maxwell. When you guys hear me talk about those three keys, now you know where I got them. So, you know, I'm coachable to John on these things because I know, and by the way, when I think of John, I think of values.

When I think of someone who sustained a career this long, that so many of us that are in this space look to as somebody that we admire, that said sustaining impact and value like John has, it because of these reasons these are the reasons why I love John so he's being humble but he's lived many of these things for years and years and years which is why he's who he is so I interrupted you on the eight streams of influence because the transformation table is so died gum good but I know that's one of the things after values that's necessary for transformation. So let's at least give them the gift of that wisdom

as well. Yeah, I will. And by the way, you just because you keep saying things that trigger me, it's your fault that we don't get to the eight strings. Because it's your fault, Ed. Because let me just say something. I have fulfillment in accomplishing things that I can do, but I have much greater fulfillment, multiplied fulfillment in helping other people accomplish things that they've never done before. And that's why Change Your World is so exciting to me because I've got this down.

I've done transformation tables. I'll keep doing transformation tables. Margaret and I took a cruise about 18 months ago, a Disney cruise, a great Disney cruise with our grandchildren. And every day we went through another value. We finished the Disney cruise. We go to four different countries. We got Mickey, we got Goofy,

we got them all running around. We've got them in the parade. We've got them doing everything. I sit down, I say, okay, cause I always do this at the end of a trip. I always ask my kids, my grandkids, what did you love? What did you learn?

Wow, so good. Always, because experience isn't the best teacher. You know, it's evaluated experience. Okay, all five of my grandchildren, what did you love? Goofy, Mickey Mouse, parade. Papa, we love sitting around the table with you and Mimi and learning values and discussing them.

I mean, these little kids would get around, I'm talking about all my kids are teenagers, they would get around. I remember that, I'll never forget the moment when John, my number three grandchild, in one of the values was very open and honest about a very difficult time he was going through. And the next thing I knew,

his cousins and his sister and his brother were around him and they had their arms around him and they were loving on him and they decided to pray for him. Beautiful, beautiful. Life changing. Life changing. Life changing. It can only happen at the table. Hey everyone, it's Ed Mylett and if you know me, you know I'm always looking

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intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. This quote by Thomas Edison said, when you feel you've exhausted all options, remember this, you haven't. I love that. That's the power of one more. And so I have lived this book in my life. Like I have lived this mindset and it has changed my life because I've always been just one step away, one habit away, one mindset away from this amazing life that

I'm grateful and blessed to live. Well that's the truth right? You're right and I think the great lie in life is that, you know some scriptures say well where there's no vision the people will perish. Whatever your scriptures are, really, you have no vision? If you ask the average person, you want to be happy or sad, what's your vision? They'd say, I want to be happy. You want to be rich or poor? Most people say, I'd like to be rich. Do you want to contribute or make no difference in the world? I want to contribute. Do you want beautiful memories or no memories? I want memories. So there's a vision.

Our issue is depth perception. We think it's further away than it is. And because we think it's so far away, Jay, we create patterns and behaviors in our life that perpetually keep it there. And that's what we do in our life. But what if that's the great lie of life? And what if the truth is that you're one relationship away, one meeting away, one conversation, one podcast, one interview, one new thought, one new emotion, one new tactic or strategy away from completely changing the trajectory of your life. And everyone that you and I know that we both work with, that we're blessed to work with in our lives, the truth is it was one decision,

one meeting, one extra rep, one more phone call, one thing they did that changed their trajectory. Then the question then becomes, how do I do it? And so the strategies are in the book, but conceptually, that's 100% how you change your life. Yeah, and you're so right. I was thinking about this this morning. Last year I had a double hernia surgery on the front. So I couldn't walk for about a month.

And when I say I couldn't walk, I mean like I literally couldn't move for about a month. And when I say I couldn't walk, I mean, like I literally couldn't move. Oh my gosh. It was like, I was like, I felt like I was teaching myself to walk again. Like that's how it felt. It's really interesting what you just said about how we perpetually push it far away.

I would wake up every morning and my mind or my initial mindset was like, it will be gone today. It must have gone today. Like today it will be fully healed. It must have gone today. Like today it will be fully healed. I'll be fine today and I'll wake up and I wouldn't be. And I would feel like healing was so far away. Yes.

It would be like 80% away that I was missing out on the 1% change since yesterday. You got it. Since yesterday I made 1% change. I wasn't feeling the same pain in my nerves. I was able to be flexible by 1% more. Yes. And I was missing out on all of that

because I was so obsessed with how far I was. That's the journey. And the thing, and what happens is when you live with an expectation that these one mores exist, the reticular activating system in your mind filters them into your awareness. I call it the matrix in the second chapter of the book. When you wake up believing, hey I'm one decision away, I'm one meeting away, one

relationship away, that's not hokey. Your mind begins to filter the people, places and things into your awareness. You develop something called sensory acuity. You hear conversations you weren't hearing. We've all had that experience where we're on an airplane, I can't stop hearing these people over here or you walk in a loud room But you can hear your own name auditorily over all the other names in the room That's because it's important to you and it matters you see things And so when something becomes important to you and you believe it to be true The RAS goes to proving it for you and where I I learned this, ironically, I talk about in the book,

is my father was an alcoholic and had tried to get sober many, many times. And I'll never forget it, Jay, we were driving to a baseball game of mine. My dad started crying. I'd never seen my dad cry before. And he pulls the car over and he still isn't looking at me, but he's crying. And he says, Eddie. And then he turns to me and he goes, I'm going to try to get sober. And I'll never forget this brother, he goes, one more time.

And I said, really daddy? He goes, I'm gonna give it one more try. And I said to him, I said, why would this be any different this time? And he said, never said this to me before, he goes, because I love you, and you deserve a father you can be proud it, Father, you can be proud of. You can't be proud of me right now.

And I think every great thing we do in life is one away, but it's also born from love. To talk about your book, when you love people or you love something so deeply, if that love is greater than what the obstacles might be, now you got a shot to do it. Then my dad gets sober, he comes home from rehab. I say, daddy, are you never gonna drink again?

And he said, I can't promise you that. I can promise you I'm not gonna drink for one more day at a time. And he lasted the rest of his life stacking those one more days up. And so I know the power of one more. The other thing, I also know humans can change. I watched my hero do it.

I watched my dad live my first 15 years. So I'm in a lot of fights. Wow. A lot of lying, a lot of difficult times. And then I saw this man transform. And in life, we're most qualified to help the person we used to be. And what we think in life, and I hope everybody gets this, we think the things we're most ashamed of, embarrassed by our divorce, our bankruptcy,

or maybe we've just always been average and ordinary. This disqualifies me from being successful and happy. What if that's not true? What if the hardest things of your life are the very things that qualify you? I'll give you an example. You know, my dad got sober. Somebody helped him. My dad was going to take his life or lose his family. And I didn't know who it was until months ago. Some precious human being whom I didn't know. In my dad's darkest hour of his life, Jay said, I'll help you. I'll help you. Little did that person know I'd be his son,

and I'd help millions of people, and I'd be on Jay Shetty's show, and we both helped millions of people. And the more ironic thing that this person helped my dad is what qualified them to help my dad. They were a drunk. They were an alcoholic. They at one time were a drug addict. They at one time were lying and stealing and living in the shadows. The very thing that person probably figured that disqualifies me from having a successful

life was the one thing that did qualify them to help my dad. So if you're listening to this and you've had something you're ashamed of or a failure or a setback, you're most qualified to help the people. So if you're listening to this, you've had something you're ashamed of or a failure or a setback, you're most qualified to help the people you used to be. And that person, that alcoholism, they suffered with their drug addiction, helped my dad live those one more days forever. Oh, that is the best explanation I've heard

of how pain turns into purpose. The thing that brought you down, that broke you down, that broke you down, that made you feel like you were losing everything, gave you back everything when you used that to serve the people that were struggling with it. And then there's a purpose. And if you can survive the temporary pain in your life,

and all pain is temporary. I watched my father pass away last year. He was in tremendous pain. Even our bodies are temporary. Only our souls are permanent. If you can survive the temporary on the other side of temporary pain, you meet another version of yourself,

another insight about yourself. And that's why it's so important to grow as a person because the more we grow and become a new person, we can help those that used to be like us. And that's why you and I are so addicted to growing and learning and we're curious because if you used to be a broken person and you no longer are quite as broken you Can help broken people if you used to be broke?

Financially and you no longer are you can help people whatever you do for a living at one time You didn't know about it And now you do you can help those who need to know about it and so you're immensely Qualified if you understand the power of doing one more. Oh, I love it. I love it Tell me about so let's say and you probably come up against this all the time. A lot of the people say, OK, I'm going to practice that. I'm with you, Ed. I love you and Jay. I'm listening. And I go, yes, I'm going to practice the power of one more.

Now, what I find and this is why you're so great at teaching this, because you're not teaching it as a gimmick, a glitch, you're like or like a little affirmation. This is like real, it makes sense. Like it works. People get so tied to the result that when they try it the next day and the sales meeting doesn't go their way or the pitch doesn't go their way, they go, ah, it doesn't work. It doesn't work.

Why didn't it work? And how should we respond when we fail or get rejected? Well, it didn't work because you're so attached to the outcome I coach a lot of athletes. I know you do as well and one of the things it's a really nuanced thing in life It's great to have goals. You should have goals I want to do this or that but in the moment of execution you have to separate from outcome in the moment that you're executing and Just be present and exist. I talk about this in the book. Here's what I would say, if you're gonna win long term, 95% of people have a operating system in their mind

where they operate out of history and memory. Oh, I like that. And about 5% of humans operate out of vision and imagination. So the reason we're so much happier, I believe, when we're children is we have no history and memory. So we operate of imagination and dreams and vision. But at some age, some people, it's five years old, some it's eight, some it's 18, some it's 28. They create a history and that history then becomes the operating system. So even if they take on a new behavior or tactic,

they're operating out of a pattern of thought and belief that's historic and memory based. And so the number one thing I would say is begin to operating out of a pattern of thought and belief that's historic and memory based And so the number one thing I would say is begin to operate out of your imagination again out of your vision again Create from that place if you create from that place now, you're not tied to the result in that moment You're giving yourself space to imagine and create something new in your life That I've never heard that in that language, man. That is so powerful. Thank you. You're so right about as kids

that we don't have any memory or history. So we don't have any blocks. We don't have any limits. We don't. And begin to listen to the people around you. Wow. People say, hey, you're the product of who you hang around. How do I know if they serve me or not?

Here's one way to just deduce this because they could be beautiful people who care about you and they might even support you. But when you're with them, what are you, you ever have those friends you're with them, you're like, you remember when, you remember, you remember, you remember that party, remember that thing. And if your friends are constantly bringing you to the filtration system of memory and history all the time, think this through. How often are those friends saying, hey, what are you working on now? Where are you going? What's your vision? What do you want to create?

And maybe that sounds hokey, but you and I have some of the, some of our, both our friends have the most amazing histories and you can't get them to talk about them. You have to work because what are they still doing? They're talking about now and where they're going. Their viewpoint in their life is being present and having a vision for the future. A formula for misery, a formula for lack of creativity, lack of productivity is constantly being history and memory. Even if it's good, it doesn't serve us and for most of us it's not good and we keep living from it or trying to move away from it. Create a new future, don't move away from the past, create a brilliant imaginative curious curious, vibrant vision

for your life. I love that. Yeah, we're always trying to create the same past. Yes. As opposed to a new future. A new future. And I find that what's really interesting about that, all the studies show that nostalgia makes us believe

that the past was more phenomenal than it actually was. If you remember that party you went to at college, it's better in your memory than it actually was. If you actually could have gone back and remembered how you felt hungover and what you broke a bone or whatever happened, but now in your memory it's beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful.

So our memory also is slightly warped of the past. No question. It can make things feel much better or much worse sometimes. No question. But can make things feel much better or much worse sometimes. No question. But what's really coming out for me right now is this idea that it's something you said a couple of moments ago and it sparked a thought for me.

I remembered a story that Vanessa Bryan told about Kobe Bryant after he passed away. I was fortunate enough to interview him around three months before his tragic passing. And she told this story and she said that Kobe would play through every injury. He would play through every pain. He would play through everything, even when the doctors and his coaches

would say, stop playing. And she asked him, she said once, why he still plays. Right. Again, going back to our curiosity, not assuming you know your partner. She asked him, why do you still play? And this is just her and him. There's no cameras, there's no, she's telling this story, but at the time it was just them two. He said it's because there's someone

who's paid for a ticket today. They saved up. And this is the only time they're ever gonna to be able to come. Maybe a son's boy, maybe a dad's brother's kid, maybe someone's come to the game, they're a lifelong fan and they came today and today's the only day they're going to get to see me and if I say I'm injured, they won't get to see me. So I'm going to play so that that person gets to see me play and then he goes and wins. Yes, and it's like that's love

That's like that's what you were saying love for something is in the present moment Also, right love is not just for the past and it's funny How important one day is man when my dad got sick my dad got cancer when he first got sick? He goes. Hey, my dad was a dude. He goes look I'll fight this one time Okay, I'll do your little chemo and your surgery but I'm not gonna pour poison into my body I'm not gonna lose my hair I'm not gonna deteriorate I'll give this thing a shot once if it doesn't work I'm out that led to eight years of him fighting it chemo radiation proton therapy surgery surgery chemo

experimental chemo and he did lose his hair, and he was in pain. And I'd say to my dad, I'd say, Dad, you're suffering so much. He said, you wouldn't suffer. He said, no, Eddie, I'm in pain, but I'm not suffering. I choose not to suffer. And I'm not suffering because I get to see my grandkids again. And I said, Dad, why are you doing this?

And he said, you only understand the power of one day when you're threatened with never having another one, I'll do anything for one more day. Get to be with you one more time. Give your mom a kiss one more time. Maybe I'll see one of my granddaughters get married. And he goes, I'll do anything for one more day. The beautiful thing is I was actually with Kobe

a week before he passed away. We were in the same gym. Our daughters played volleyball. And ironically, that day, I watched Kobe walk out of the gym. There was only a couple dads left. It was late at night. He stayed and I stayed. And he had his youngest daughter in his arm,

and he was rubbing his other daughter's back. And I remember taking note of it, because I was with Bella at the other end of the gym. And I remember thinking, I don't hug Bella enough. I need to hug at the other end of the gym and I remember thinking I Don't hug Bella enough. I need to hug. I'm no joke, bro. It's in the book I went I got a hug Bella one more time every day Not just once a day plus one more time every day. My daughter's gonna get extra hugs cuz Kobe does that What if I could have said to Kobe when he got in his car Kobe? You have one more week, brother.

Tell those that you love you love them. Get it right. Whoever matters to you, make it right. Call your dad. Make it right. Call your mom. Call your family. What if the day before you could have said, Kobe,

you have one day left? And my dad, same thing. I was with my dad when he had one day left. I was with my dad when he had one hour left. I was with my dad when he had one hour left. I was with my dad when he had one breath left. And when we begin to think of our life that way, the power of right now and having one more moment and one more minute is so beautiful. It's so blessed.

It's so big. It's so amazing. Why would we spend that minute in history? Why would we spend that minute in the past when we could be fully present in creating the future? And so, you know, I think most people think Jay everyone else is gonna die I'm never I'm not gonna die or they go I'll get around to being happy I'll get around to making my masterpiece of my life. I'll get around to my dreams I'm gonna get around to fixing this relationship that's broken. I'm gonna get around to making my masterpiece of my life. I'll get around to my dreams. I'm going to get around to fixing this relationship that's

broken. I'm going to get around to feeling those emotions. And then it's another day and another day. And they keep it in the distance until there are no more days. And I don't care if you're 18 years old listening to this, 28 or 48. We don't know if we have one more day or 100 more days or 1,000 more days.

But we know this. There'll eventually be a time where we don't have any more days. And so why would we spend the ones that are coming looking at the past? And so my dad really taught me those lessons in watching him pass away. And that's why I have a whole thing in there

of how to get 21 days a week, run many days. I get 21 days a week. We still measure time, bro. Like it's 1900. Think about 1900. If I want to get you a note, I'd have to write a letter out, stick it on the back of a horse's butt in 1850.

30 days later, you get it. That was a 24 hour day. Now I can text you in two seconds. We measure time the same way. So I teach you how to change your time so that you can make that day its maximum bliss, its maximum bliss. It's maximum productivity What's what's one more that you're working on right now?

Right now. I'm actually it's an interesting season of my life I have a TV show that you know that I did with NBC that's called change that I think is you know Has a chance of getting picked up but my one more that I'm working on right now for me and my life is my peace and so there's this guy Jay Shetty, that's a friend of mine that One more that I'm working on right now for me in my life is my peace. And so there's this guy, Jay Shetty, that's a friend of mine that introduced me and my family to meditation. And I'm giving myself the gift of, I don't just do it in the morning now, I've given myself the gift of one more time every single day of just emptying my

mind and trying to be fully present. And it's been worked for me. I've got that busy type of a mind, but I have found that my peace in my life, most of us, Jay, have all these goals of things we wanna do, and they're wonderful. And I believe in doing that. I think standards are more important than goals because, and I teach you in this book,

how to set the standards that'll get those goals. But we really don't want the jet. We don't want the hit song. We don't want the amazing relationship. We don't want the million dollars. We want how we think it'll make us feel. And what if we began to become more intentional and outcome-oriented about the things we feel in our life? And it took me a while, but now that I'm older, when I feel strong, when I feel blissful, when I feel peaceful, older when I feel strong when I feel blissful when I feel peaceful Is when I produce the physical things that I want not the other way around And so my one mores are more emotional focus most of us then I'll come up for air here have an emotional home

There's three or four or five emotions We experience on a regular basis I write about it in the book and no matter what happens We find a way even if they don't serve us to get those emotions if your emotional home is fear, anxiety, worry, depression, anger, you find a way every week to get that emotion but what if that emotional home could become bliss and peace and joy and creativity and ecstasy and so I'm working on one more beautiful emotion for my emotional home and for me it's peace. I love that, I love that answer, man. It's good to hear about what you've been saying,

like we're not living in the past, and you're like in the present, but to have you answer that question, that peace is your presence. Like that's what you're looking for. Right now. That's the present. And it shows that you're using this, like it works. You're doing it time and time again.

And I love what you said, it moves from the physical things into the subtle, into the emotional, into the deeper, right? I think that's so profound. What was that one more that if you didn't do it, you wouldn't be here today? What was one of those ones that like, ah, like that was the one that convinced me, apart from obviously your father, that you were like, ah,

if I didn't do that, I wouldn't be in my life today. I wouldn't be max out live. The first business I built was a financial business and I had had some success, Jay. Like a lot of people do in life. And then it went backwards. And sometimes you get up the flag pole just a little bit and you come back down.

That's an emotional difficulty. Could be a relationship that was good that's gone or maybe it saved some money it's gone. Maybe you lost a bunch of weight and got fit and you gained it back for me it was my business and I called my dad it was a pretty wise guy now that he was sober and because I could tell you man I do one more rep in the gym I haven't done ten reps on a bench press in 30 years I've done ten plus one more a lot though

I haven't done 45 minutes on a treadmill but I've done 45 plus one more minute ten contacts a day never ten plus one more but the biggest one more minute. 10 contacts a day? Never. 10 plus one more. But the biggest one more was actually something else. I called my dad and I said, hey dad, it's not going. The business is crashing and I'm running out of money. Our power was turned off. Our water was turned off, Jay. We had to take my wife every morning. We'd lost our house. We're living in an apartment now. Then the water got turned off. You can't cook. You can't bathe. There was an apartment building. We had an outdoor shower at the swimming pool.

And we were newlyweds. And I'd have to get up every morning, walk down there, and I'd hold a towel up while my wife took her shower every day outdoors and brush her teeth. And then she'd switch and hold the towel up for me. And I'd walk back up to the apartment. And I was so emasculated, so ashamed, so embarrassed. And I was living a nightmare, selling a dream to everybody every day.

We can do this. A lot of entrepreneurs and people can relate in their life. And anyway, I called my dad that night, and I said, I think I need to pack it in. I need to go get a job and just, this success thing is not for people like us. And my dad goes, Eddie, you don't have to decide you're never gonna quit. He goes, just don't quit for one more day. See how you feel tomorrow.

I go, Dad, he goes, just don't do it for one more day. And I got the next day and I still wanted to quit, but not quite as much. And then I went one more day and one more day and I found myself about 30 days later, I didn't want to quit anymore. And thank God the one more I did was I went one more day without quitting. And I'm so grateful I didn't quit on my dream. Oh Ed, wow, that is like, oh my gosh man. Everything you're just dropping right now, I'm just like, I hope that is like, oh my gosh man. Like, everything you're just dropping right now, I'm just like, I hope everyone is taking notes.

If you haven't been taking notes, I want you to take a screenshot right now of where we're at right now, because that's what you're gonna have to listen to again. So take a screenshot, share it, tell everyone to go to this segment, listen to that over again, because I think what I'm hearing, you know,

is that this is a lifestyle. Like this is a mindset, it's a lifestyle. It's an everyday, every moment way to live. This isn't just in the big business you're building. This is me telling my wife, I love her one more time. This is me making sure I message my mom one more time. It's me making sure that when I'm sitting here with you, I'm always gonna have to ask you one more question.

Because you keep giving so much. No, but you keep giving so much. Well, that's what you just said. It will never end. I think people feel like they tried a lot and then they start building up resentment and like pain and bitterness towards that path. And a lot of people also that I know,

they just think that there are some people that are meant to be. I agree with this. And then there are some people that are not meant to be. That's correct. And they carry that with them. And it comes from this like, oh yeah, you were meant to be this,

or that person was meant to have it. But for me, this is where, and I heard that kind of come up in what you were saying to your dad, like it doesn't happen to people like us. How does this rule, how does doesn't happen to people like us. How does this rule, how does this principle apply to someone who's in that space?

Brother, best question ever. Because I grew up with no, we have an alcoholic dad or a drug addict, or maybe you come from divorce, or maybe your parents just didn't love you enough, whatever it was, didn't tell you they loved you enough. It's hard to have self-confidence. I was a little guy, I got bullied in school, and I just, and even at this age now, bro,

I, if I'm being completely honest, self-confidence, we all teach that it's, you know, part of keeping the promises you make to yourself. But what if you raise the standard a little higher, you keep the promises you make to yourself, plus one more. Because for me, self-confidence didn't come easy. I think in life, ultimately you're going to get what you believe you deserve.

And if you're wound up wired like me, I didn't think I deserved a lot. I didn't even have a dad who could stop drinking. I wasn't six foot four. I don't have an incredibly high IQ. There's nothing really that impressive about me, nor were people very impressed with me most of my life. So that was my pattern. That was my history. That was my memory.

And so the only... I could wait around until I developed tremendous self-confidence, or I could begin to do things every day that were small. They're not major. And over time, when I did those one more calls that one more meeting that one more book I read that one more podcast not only am I doing more reps So the likelihood of me being successful is bigger, but I started to convince myself I'm doing things other people aren't willing to do Maybe I deserve things other people aren't gonna get and slowly but surely I started to convince myself I did deserve it based on what I was doing not necessarily the caliber of my talent

Yeah, yeah, that was the difference. Yeah, you you just there's a thought I've been having recently and it's that comfort creates self-care But discomfort creates self-respect Right, like it's what you're saying. I love that. That the one more discomfort every day, that's where self-respect comes from. Yes. You don't. Great term.

Yeah, you don't start to trust yourself or build self-esteem or believe in yourself because you just say it to yourself. It's coming what you just said. You go out there and take one more meeting and see what you learn. You go out there and take one more risk, one more discomfort.

And I guarantee you, if you have a successful or happy friend whichever how you determine that and you ask them this they tell you that we're right. Yeah. They would tell you gosh that's right. Yeah. It's right and the difference between winning and losing happiness and sadness is so small it's almost it's almost scary to talk about but the good news is I think I kind of know what it is and it's this one more. Absolutely. The people that I know that are the most successful and happy have more uncomfortable conversations. Agreed.

They have more uncomfortable days. They have more discomfort in their lives. Yes, totally agree with that. But selected discomfort. But one of the other things that I'm asking from now, I'm like going into like the people that I know that I'm thinking about and can see their faces and I want them to know that I'm asking from now I'm like going into like the people that I know that that I'm thinking about and could see their faces and I want them to know that I'm asking for them a lot of the time one more in the wrong direction

can also be really misguiding. Sometimes people and I know you're a person of faith too and so so we can touch on this, sometimes we're climbing the mountain and we keep doing one more, but we're actually going further away from who we are, who we wanna be, our faith, our partners, right? We know people who've built multi-billion dollar companies but lost their kids.

That's right. Or they've become famous and rich, but their partner cheated on them. You know, like really painful stuff. And you know people who didn't do all of that and that's happened too. It's both ways. How does one use one more and make sure

it's in the right direction? Such a great question. I'm doing this now regularly because I've made some of those mistakes. And what I do is I check in with myself one more time, meaning it's important to ask yourself what matters to me now. See, if you had this conversation 20 years ago, the things that mattered to me then are so different than what matter to me now.

But a lot of us keep operating out of what used to. Maybe you've achieved or pursuing a dream and it's really truly no longer your dream. It's no longer your dream. When I was young, listen, we were going to do a podcast. You say, hey, I need you on the show. People are going to love you. You're going to get recognition. You're going to get all this acknowledgement. And that would have been my hot button, my need. I believe in the six human needs. My need was significance and recognition. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's wonderful. And so that's the button to get me to move would be significance recognition. Well, I've been blessed the last 30 years

or so of my life to have a beautiful abundance of significance and recognition. It's no longer what fills me. Now you get me to do an interview, you go, hey I really think we could help some people. My big button in my life now is contribution. There was another stage in my life, it's still there, but hey if you go there you'll grow. I still want to grow, but I know me now. Right now I'm in a season of my life that's contribution, it's giving, it's what fills my heart and I think it's checking in with yourself one more time, what matters to me now? What do I want now?

What's important to me now? What season? Maybe you're in a season where you need to rest. Maybe your spirit and everything about you is telling you, hey, it's time to feed you again. It's time to recharge. If that's the season, then answer that call. Don't play out of a past playbook.

And so for me, that's the season I'm in now. And I'm sure that in five or eight more years, you know, there'll be something else. But I regularly, on a monthly basis, you recommend it in your book so beautifully about your relationship, checking in. You have these strategies you teach about weekly and monthly and quarterly and yearly

with your partner of checking in with them. I also recommend you check in with yourself and what matters to you now. And so for me, it's a matter of checking in now so that I also recommend you check in with yourself. What matters to you now? And so for me, it's a matter of checking in now so that I don't lose my family in the pursuit of my business or lose me. Lose me. Who am I anymore? And I've had times where I'm like, this doesn't feel like me anymore. And I had at least the ability to at least acknowledge that and make a change. Yeah, and I love that you brought up seasons because I feel like no one,

and on planet Earth, we don't have the power to change the season. But you have the power to live the season well. That's right. You can either be in the, right now it's been raining, wherever we are, it's been pouring down with rain, there's all this effort. You could carry an umbrella, well, you can tell how I'm dressed. I'm definitely not dressed in my usual gear. Because I'm dressed for the rain.

I'm prepared. Because that's all I can do. I can't make the rain switch off. I can't stop it, right? Like I can't do that. And so I love hearing that you're just learning how to thrive in the season. And so if your season's telling you to rest,

you can't force the season and you have to live it through, you have to experience it. You know, I think you have to remember one thing, man. I think it's as easy as a person to forget this. And I just would love to say this because you have such an amazing reach. If you've been listening or watching the show for a long time, you know what a big believer in NetSuite I am. I've been talking about them now for years.

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like a 20-minute one I could show you too with like islands and jets and when I used to be jacked and big with my shirt off, you'd love that one. Super goofy. And so what I am not is some superstar person. And I think that's important. When you see everybody up here on the stage, they're all dressed in really expensive clothes. They've all had a lot of success. I come up here with a hole in my shirt. I'm not all that expensive.

But the point is when we come up here, you could kind of start, because there's a hero making machine that comes with building leaders, right? We make heroes of people. It's one of the best parts of your business. One of the downsides though, is you could start thinking these people are different than you. And then if you can actually convince yourself they're different than you, then like you have an excuse not to win.

So what if we're, what if at least in my case I'm like a goofball and really average and ordinary? Would that give you a little bit of hope if you knew who I really was? yes? Okay, here's who I really am. I'm really the son of a drug addict and an alcoholic. That's actually who I am. Who I really am grew up very shy, very insecure, no self-confidence. Who I really am is I grew up in tremendous anxiety and dysfunction. And those things that are embedded in you as a child,

you never really lose all of them. So even to this day hundreds of millions of dollars I got a global express I've owned six jets I own an island I reached millions of people with my podcast which by the way some of you still are not listening to the best podcasts in the world right like I don't get it but listen to my podcast it will change your life. The Ed Milett Show. But after all of that, who I really am is that's me. I'm the son of an alcoholic.

And so, did any of you, by the way, grow up in any neglect or dysfunction in your upbringing, just curious? Any of us? I got some brothers and sisters. Wow, the rest of you have like perfect families. You're totally full of shit. So, how many of you had any neglect?

Right? So, like, it could be like divorce, bankruptcy. They didn't tell you they loved you enough, all the way up to abuse, drug addict, whatever it might be. I have a very good friend of mine. How many of you have kids? Cool. This is going to hit home.

Really good friend of mine. I met my wife in kindergarten. And I'm still very good friends, we both are, with another girl from our kindergarten class. Her name's Jennifer, I won't tell you her last name. And when my, you know, I've had a lot of cool things happen in my life. And then my book came out, The Power of One More. It's the number one non-fiction book in the world this year.

And she says to me, man, I'm so proud of you, Eddie. You know, you grew up with all that neglect in your home, and you've just changed your life and changed the world and blah blah blah. And I said, I said, Jen, I love you and thank you. But I said, I have to be honest with you because I do love you. I think you neglect your kids. She said, what are you talking about? Brian and I have been married together for 25 years.

I don't drink. I love my kids. I said, yeah, that's all the basic stuff. I said, let me explain something to you. The most insidious form of child neglect in the world, in the world, is a child who's being raised by a parent who is not in pursuit of their dreams or their potential. That's the number one form of child neglect in the world.

And the reason is, is because with our children and most things in leadership, it's caught, not taught. It's caught, not taught. Your kids are catching from you that it's OK to settle. You can be anything you want, sweetheart. At some age, they grow up and go, well, why aren't you, mama? When you walk in a room someday, everybody's going to know your name.

Well, what's up with you, Dad? You can be anything you want. You can go you can be happy. You know what your kids really want for you. They want you to be happy. And they know whether you're not you can fool them a little bit. They'll still love you. But at some point, your kids figure out who you by the way you figured out who your parents are, didn't you? They drive into school with you in the morning, they know whether you're happy. They know whether you're winning. They

know whether you're go for it. They know whether you're stretching and growing. They know know whether you're happy, they know whether you're winning, they know whether you're going for it, they know whether you're stretching and growing, they know. And you're neglecting them if you don't go for it. The good news for you is you are very special and unique that you're a part of EXP, because what you're at least saying is, I don't want to be average and ordinary.

I want to try to do something great with my life. And what we think in our life is that because we haven't succeeded before or we got something in our background, I got a divorce, you don't know I cheated here, I lied there, I'm average, I've always been invisible, we begin to disqualify ourselves and say that's why I won't win in the future and nothing could be further from the truth. I'm going to prove that to you in a little bit. Now let me give you a spoiler alert. My dad eventually got sober and spent about 35 years of his life sober,

completely changed his life. So the reason I'm even in this space where I believe human beings can change their life is I watch my hero do it. But I'm going to teach you a couple of things. I'm going to say something to you. I'd already written my book. I'd already had a lot of pretty good success. And I was laying in bed about eight months ago, and I woke up crying.

My wife's not ever seen that before. She's like, what's wrong? I said, babe, something just dawned on me. I can't even believe I've never thought about this before. I said, someone helped my dad. Someone helped daddy. She's like, what do you mean? I said, someone helped my dad. Someone helped daddy. She's like, what do you mean? I said, someone helped my dad,

when my dad was going to lose his family. My dad was actually going to take his life. And I don't even know where it happened in some bar alley somewhere, some precious human being stepped forward and said, I can help you. And that person, they didn't know it in that moment. They were doing something great with their life. They helped my father get sober. And you would say to them, they don't know that when they helped my dad, that someday I was his son.

And the ripple effect of helping that one human being has reached millions of people on all the continents on the planet. Now, why is that? Here's what's crazy, because you don't understand the power of helping one more person. You still don't get it. Listen to me. What qualified that person to help my dad?

What were their qualifications? Do you know? Here's what's crazy. The very things that they would think disqualified them from ever doing anything great with their life. You know what qualified that person to help my dad? They were also a drug addict at one time. They were also a liar living in the shadows, stealing, drinking, hanging out, cheating. The very things they thought would disqualify them from ever doing

anything great qualified them in that moment to step forward and help my father because in life you were most qualified to help the person or people you used to be. And that's the power of your recruiting model. That's the power of EXP if you get it. Put your phone down. Put your phone down. There's a guy worth $800 million talking. You are most qualified to help the person you used to be. That's the power of this model.

If you used to be broke and you no longer are quite as broke, you can help broke people. If you used to not have confidence in yourself and you got a little now, you can give it to people who don't have it. You used to not have a dream or believe you could do something, and you do now, you can help people who need dreams. Listen to me. We need leaders with vision to help people with dreams. And you're that person. And you would think, not me.

I'm shy. I'm broke. You don't know. Listen to me. That's the very thing that qualifies you. Let me tell you what you don't know about recruiting people here. This is the belief system.

You ready? Everybody wants in. They just don't know about recruiting people here. This is the belief system. You ready? Everybody wants in they just don't know it yet They just if they knew if they felt what you feel in this room If they knew about the recognition the travel the awards the helping of one another They'd want all of that. They just don't know it yet So when they're smirking at you, you know that smirk when you're trying to recruit somebody, you know what I'm talking about You smirk your ass right back at them. You let them know.

In your gut, you know, you want in. You want everything. You want all the goodies we got here. You just don't know it yet. That's a fact. And you are one recruit away from completely changing your life. Trust me, I know.

I've got about 10 of them in my whole life. And those 10 recruits separated me from being broke to being worth millions of dollars. You're looking for seven to 10 key leaders in your business. Yeah, I know the model. Now that's gonna lead to hundreds and thousands of other people, but you're really looking for seven to 10 key players.

You can't find seven to 10 key players the next 10 years. Something's wrong with you. So this is not a matter of whether you will win here, it's a matter of when if you stay. Okay? So the power of helping one more person. Here's what's funny, let me just prove to you one last time, Mr. 800 million, what a goober I am. So I'm in the business of recruiting and building people. And I'm struggling. In fact, I actually made a little bit of money for a while, but I ended up going broke. And so broke that I got married to my high school sweetheart who was my kindergarten crush.

And she literally grew up down the street from me. And I had all these dreams when we were kids. I'd walk her on the beach, say, babe, we're gonna get one of these beach houses someday in high school. You know, I tell her all these dreams. She says, we are. I said, say, babe, we're gonna get one of these beach houses someday. In high school, you know, I'd tell her all these dreams. She'd be like, we are? I said, yeah, man, we're gonna have this amazing life. And it's not gonna be like your mom and dad, and my mom and dad, something awesome

is gonna happen with us. And then we got married and reality set in. And about six months after us getting married, we had our power turned off. Because I was doing this. And you know, it can be some lean times when you're recruiting and selling on commission. And then her car got repoed.

And then my car got repoed. And that was all bad. But then the power got turned off. Yeah, that's bad. Then the water got turned off. You don't want your water turned off. Let me tell you what happens. You can't bathe.

You can't cook. And so for about a month and a half, every morning I would get up with my new bride, and we lived in an apartment complex. You can picture an apartment, you know, they got that swimming pool, that one shower. There was an outdoor shower there, and we would get up every morning and grab our toothbrush and soap and shampoo, and I would walk down with this girl who I told we were gonna live on the beach someday. And I would hold a towel up while she took a shower outside. Brush your teeth.

Then we would switch. She'd hold the towel up. And I would. Our neighbors all knew what was going on. And I would walk up the stairs of our apartment completely ashamed. What I was doing was I was living a nightmare and going out every day, selling the dream.

Some of you really relate to what I'm talking about right now. How's everything going? I remember going, unbelievable. When I'd recruit, how are you doing? Like you literally wouldn't believe it. I wasn't lying. And then I made a little bit of money and I told her, I said, here's why people aren't buying from me.

Let me tell you what happened. I drove to LA. I'll never forget this. I ran out of money and I went to, I had to get $20 to go to the ATM to get gas to get back home after this appointment I was going to have. And I was praying literally, Lord please let there be at least $22 in there because if there's less than 20 in my account it won't spit out any money because it only spits out 20s. And there were 17 bucks in there so I couldn't get any money out of the bank. So before my appointment, this is a true story,

just to give you a little bit of hope. Before my appointment, there's a McDonald's here and a Chevron here. And I spent 30 minutes at that Chevron begging for money for gas. No one would help me. I went over to the McDonald's and I literally walked in the drive-through line with people in their cars and I got a man to give me $10. And I told him, give me your contact information, sir, I'll send it back to you. And I did.

I got in my car back then, I don't know anybody old in here enough to remember, but I drove a Honda CRX. Anybody remember Honda CRXs? Oh, we got some people in here. Some old people. Cool. So I rolled up. My Honda CRX was a hooptie. So what I would do on all my appointments is I would park a block away and then walk to their house so they wouldn't see that I was broke. How unbelievable I was doing. And so I parked my car a block away. I went in. I gave my presentation. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. When I was done,

they go, this was great. Let us think about about it which was code for no please get out of our house so I get out of the house and I'm walking down the block and I got a turn to the right side to go where my car is on the other block and I see the glass on the sidewalk back in those days everybody was stealing car stereos if you had like a Alpine or a what was the other one? Kenwood. Now I know there's some old people in here. Alpine or Kenwoods, they jack your car stereo back in the day. But I remember walking, I had like a hundred yards to go, I'm like, well this is weird, I got a Sanyo. Nobody wants my Sanyo. And I get up there and they didn't take my stereo.

You know what they took? My passenger seat. They stole my passenger seat. You have to be really down on your luck to have your water turned off and someone pursues your passenger seat out of your car. You gotta be a very specific criminal to be in the market. I'm on the hunt tonight for a passenger seat of a Honda CRX. And my dumb ass with no water,

just begged for money at the gas station, rolled up with exactly what they were looking for. The next four months on recruiting training appointments, literally if you were my recruit, you rolled in my Honda and you sat on a rock I grabbed out of the landscaping of my apartment complex. That was your seat. And I would literally say to you, hey man, fasten your seat belt. That's the truth. I haven't told that in a long time. And then I made like six grand. I saved six grand. I said, babe, the reason I'm failing, no one thinks I'm successful. I need a Mercedes. If I were broing in a Mercedes,

some of you believe it's BS too. Man, once I start making money, then I'll recruit. That ain't how it works. You gotta recruit to make money. So I'm like, alright, so I went and looked in the penny saver. I clicked guys back there. I don't know if you all can feel my clicker, but I'm clicking up here. There we go. I'm clicking, but it ain't clicking with me. I don't think your clicker works, everybody. In fact, I now definitively know it doesn't.

So if you got another clicker, bring it to me. Anyway, so I look in the penny saver, and all the Mercedes, like, $60,000, $60,000, $60,000, $60,000. I find this one. It's $6,500. It says Mercedes-Benz SL kinda. True story, in parentheses. That might be my speed. Read a little bit longer. It's a Mercedes, it's not a Mercedes. It's actually a Chrysler

LeBaron kit car with a Mercedes-Benz body. Anybody even know what a kit car is? You're a well-adjusted human being if you don't know. I do know even know what a kit car is? You're a well adjusted human being if you don't know. I do know. And what a kit car is, this ain't a real one. This is a Chrysler LeBaron and they weld the body of a Mercedes onto it so you got a fake Mercedes. That's what this was. But beggars can't be choosers so I decide,

by the way this sucker had a stereo top of the line Jensen seven-inch motorized touchscreen on the head unit there, MB Quart for the front speakers, got infinities in the rear. So I drive down to this lady's place, she's got this car there, I'm pretty sure there was some methamphetamine, thank you, involved in her universe at the time based on what was going on there. And I said, tell me about the car.

She goes, look, I'm just gonna shoot straight with you. You can fool about 50% of the people. I said, why? She goes, well, it's two feet longer than a real Mercedes, so people that really know the cars are gonna laugh their ass off at you. And she goes, and when I say laugh, I mean like almost fall out of their own car laugh,

pointing at you. The other little glitch is the real one doesn't have a backseat. This has a backseat. Oh, also the heater blows full time and it's August, so that's going to be an issue for you too. I go, anything else? She goes, nah, that's probably about it.

She goes, by the way, you seem very persuasive. You might be able to persuade 70% of the people. I said, all right, I'll take it. I'll give you five. She goes, give me six. I got $5,500. She goes, give me six. I got 5,500. She goes, deal. Oh, she says, this is the power of one more.

She goes, oh, by the way, one more thing. I go, what else could there be? She goes, well, you know like a regular kit car? I go, no, I don't know what a regular kit car is. She goes, well, a regular kit car like the body's welded on to the LeBaron. This one's not welded on there. I said, well, how's it on there?

She goes, Zilkla. I go, what did you take your hand? I literally said to her this. I said, ma'am, please remove your hand from your methamphetamine-infested grill right now. Okay, what did you say? She said, it's a Velcro on there. I said, wait a minute, so what you're telling me

is I have purchased a fake Mercedes Velcroed together with the heater blowing vehicle from you. She says yes honey you have. She goes oh by the way one other thing when you pull up to a stoplight don't give yourself enough leeway where you don't break fast because if you break fast the front left headlight the Velcro suits it'll fly out into the intersection. True story. Hey Forbes magazine named me the most fastest growing man in the history of social media three years ago. Let me just tell you something if there were cell phones and social media back in the day I would have been three billion times more viral because let me tell you why. Number

one I was driving a Velcroed fake Mercedes. But better than that, more than 100 times in Mr. 800 Million's life over here, I have rolled up to the intersection too quickly. Whoop! Headlight out into the intersection. More than 100 times, just to give you hope, I have run out into an intersection

and stopped four-way traffic. In my menswear house suit suit and my JC penny shoes and I picked up my own imagine you pull up to a light just minding your own business and you watch this headlight fly out into the intersection and then some dude gets out of his car runs into the intersection stops the traffic picks up his own freaking headlight with Velcro on it runs runs back to his car, sticks it on there, and then jumps back in his car again. You imagine how viral that would be? By the way, about 25 or 30 of those times, I shut the door too hard and it fell off. And then I'd

have to get out of my car and Velcro it back onto my car. True story. So, what's my point? By the way, just for fun, just for fun, which one's my car? Is my car the silver one, say I, or is my car the blue one, say I? Blue's mine, huh? Wrong. How do you know? Look at the front left headlight. See the gap for the Velcro?

You can look at it right now. Bam. That's my car. I drove that car for five years. The third year I drove it, I made $770,000. The fourth year, it got stolen. And the criminal went five houses down from me, figured out what it was, got out of the car,

left the keys in it, and rolled on. In the fifth year, in the fifth year, I sold that car to a dude on my team for $7,000. His name's Rob Day. It's a true damn story. And he's worth about $100 million now himself. How about that? So why do I tell you all that? I ain't no superstar. Hope I gave you some hope. You got a little hope right now? Say yes. So, what the heck did I do? Let's talk about it for a minute. First things first, I made one decision. I don't want to live life on a merry-go-round.

Most of the people that are giving you crap about doing this, that don't get why you're doing it, they chose to live their whole life on a merry-go-round. Just see the same stuff, slowly but surely, every day of their damn life. Same people, same places, same things, same thoughts, same everything. You've decided by doing this, you don't want to live your life on a merry-go-round. Let me tell you what you're going for.

Excuse me, go back. You're going for this. You're going for... Hopefully this will go. Let's see. You can play that. No, it doesn't. You're going for...

It should. Play that, guys guys click play. There we go You've decided just so you know, you're living on the roller coaster It's gonna go up. Whoo. You get to the butterflies coming back up and down fat And when you get watch someone get off America, I'm like, yeah, that was great. Let's do it again Watch someone get off a roller coaster. Yeah, baby. That's the life you've chosen. But it's gonna go like this. I'm 52 years old, I'm still on the rollercoaster. Nine weeks ago I had a heart attack backstage before I spoke.

Nine weeks ago. Unexpected things are gonna happen to you in your life. Right? But guess what, I'm here today. I've lost 30 pounds, I gotta lose a little bit of muscle. But I've done it. Here's what I've developed in my life. Let me tell you what I've developed in my life that's worked for me. I've got two skills that I've made the money with and the influence. I want you to hear this. Napoleon Hill says in Think and Grow Rich

that if you can survive the temporary on the other side of temporary pain you meet another version of yourself. You can survive temporary pain on the other side of temporary pain. You get to meet another version of yourself. You can survive temporary pain on the other side of temporary pain, you get to meet another version of yourself. It's a pretty powerful thing. I only have two talents. I'm not particularly smart. I'm not. I'm well-read, but I'm not particularly bright. I don't think I'm wired with a whole lot of self-confidence, maybe even to this day. Yet I coach some of the top human beings in sports, entertainment, politics. I'm one of them.

How'd that happen? I got two talents. Want to know what they are and how I got them? You curious? Let me tell you how I got them first. Yeah, let me tell you what they are. I love people. and I'm really present with human beings when I'm with them and they feel something. I read them

well. That's why my podcast is different. You can see someone get interviewed on one show and on mine, it's totally different. Matthew McConaughey said, man, hey man, I've been interviewed 3,000 times in my life. This is the best interview of my life. Just happened. I have a presence with people and a love for humans, and I read them real well. There's an energy you'd feel if you were with me. You'd probably feel like you're the most important person

in the world, because I think you are. I want to remind you something about you, just so you know, no one's told you in a while. You were born to do something great with your life. Like, just listen to me. You were born to do something great with your life. Like, just listen to me. You were born to do something great with your life. And you may not know it when you're doing it. Just like that guy that helped my dad get sober.

He didn't know it at the time, but he was. I'm good with people. Second thing, I'm a good communicator. Those are my two skills. That's it. That's it. That's it. Let me tell you what they come from. Did I mention I was the son of an alcoholic and a drug addict?

Comes from that. I have a mom and three sisters, and when my dad would go on these drinking binges, he would say, hey, when I'm five, you're the man of the house, boy, you take care of your mom. Your sister's when I'm gone. I would literally sleep on the inside of the house, boy. You take care of your mom, your sisters when I'm gone. I would literally sleep on the inside of our house blocking the front door so the bad guys couldn't get in.

The Bible talks about the sins of the father. When my son Max was born, he grew up in a loving, beautiful home with an unbelievable mom and a decent dad in me. And when he was three years old, I found him sleeping in front of our front door. It's caught, not taught. It's in your DNA. It's in your legacy. Whether you're happy, whether you win, whether you're prosperous. So when my dad would come back, I would have to read my dad when he would come through the front door. I had to read his physiology, his language, his tie-tied. I didn't know whether he was drunk.

Because if he was drunk, I would say, mama, go upstairs and take a bath, and take Mimi and Andrea and Erica with you. And I would be left downstairs with this man. I will never talk about what would happen when I was left down there with him. Never will. But I would have to read him.

So I became unbelievably present with people in that moment. But I would have to read him. So I became unbelievably present with people in that moment. Little did I know God was giving me the gift of that terror and anxiety and worry that he was developing in this little boy, the greatest gift he would use in his life to reach millions of other human beings. On the other side of that temporary pain, as a grown man, I would use that skill to change lives and to make lots of money The second thing that would happen is if my dad was drinking mama would go upstairs

If he was sober, we would just have dinner But most of the time if he was drinking I would have to then talk to him and change his state in his physiology I say daddy. Yeah My whole goal was for him not to get to the liquor cabinet Because if he went to the liquor cabinet Even though he was already drunk my dad would have eight beef eater gins back-to-back Well, I thought every dad did that in fact in baseball. I wore number eight my entire career because of that I Was familiar with eight I see eights everywhere because of that

So if he was I had to try to get him away from there, so I would tell him hey daddy Yeah, how was your day? That was all right. I'd say, well I hit a home run in baseball and I hit a triple to left center. I got a 93 on my spelling test. You did? Yeah, where'd you hit the triple? I was left center and I slid in head first, Jimmy's tag was laid. It was? That's awesome. So did you have any good meetings daddy? And I would get him over the couch. He goes, well, I was one of them was.

And if I could get him there for an hour or so, he'd sober up and nothing bad would happen. And I could have mama and my sisters come back downstairs. Those two skills that surviving that temporary pain. See, all pain is temporary. Everything in our life is temporary, with the exception of our souls. Even our bodies are temporary.

I was with my father when he passed away. I was holding him in my arms two years ago. And I watched my dad leave, even though his body was still there. It's all pain's temporary. If you can survive it and you can know that, on the other side of every pain you go through, you will develop new versions of you. This market's not real good, is it?

Some of you will quit because of it. Some of you won't recruit. Some of good, is it? Some of you will quit because of it. Some of you won't recruit. Some of you will make excuses. Some of you will go, nope, I'm gaining market share right now. I'm gonna cash all the checks in two years when things turn around. Because on the other side of this temporary pain, you'll meet something.

Let's talk about transformation. So you recently lost your father. I did as well. I think we lost our dads around the same time. I'm very sorry. That's okay. It's okay. So he actually lived sort of two lives.

Like you, like I researched, you know, your life. And when I think you were 15 years old, he got sober, right? And he basically transformed into this whole other person. And I'm sure that had a lot to do with your personal transformation as well and your ability to believe that people can change, right? So can you talk to us about that? You nailed it. So my belief that human beings can change is not a belief, it's a knowing.

And it's a knowing because I watch my hero do it. First 15 years of my life, my dad got sober seven days before my 15th birthday. And I told you it was 420. And it was nine days after his birthday. The rest of my life, my dad never celebrated his actual birthday, always celebrated his sobriety birthday and I believe human beings can change and no they can't because I watched my hero do it first 15 years my dad didn't live right did not live well at all last 35 extraordinary best life I've ever watched be lived and so I know people can change and it made a huge impact on me though my dad got sober but

there's the one mores, like out of the book, those lessons started with his sobriety. We're driving, never seen my dad cry before, we're driving to a baseball game of mine and he's crying when he's driving. I'm like, oh no, what's going on? And finally he pulls over and he goes, hey, I'm gonna go try to get sober one more time.

Cause he had tried many times. And he said, I'm gonna give it one more try. There's a chapter in the book called One More Try. I said, Dad, what would be any different this time? And he said, I'm gonna lose everything. Your mom's taking you and the girls, so I'm gonna lose my family. And you know what, you deserve a dad you can be proud of.

Your mom deserves a husband she can respect. And then he got sober. I said, Daddy, are you gonna stay sober forever? You're never gonna drink again? He goes, I don't know. I'm just not gonna drink for one more day. And there's been so. I said, daddy, are you gonna stay sober forever? You're never gonna drink again? He goes, I don't know. I'm just not gonna drink for one more day. And there's been so many times in our life, so we think everything we have to decide is permanent.

The truth is very few things are permanent. We both lost our fathers. Their bodies weren't permanent, it turns out, right? They were temporary. And most things are temporary. So in business, many times I was gonna quit. Because this idea, never quit, that's a hard thing to make,

but a lot of times I went, you know what, okay, I just won't quit for one more day. See how I do tomorrow. And then the next day, I just won't quit for one more day. And those one more started to really stack up. If I could tell you something that's new, that is just a new breakthrough for me, it's a long answer, so I apologize,

but I wanted to share it with you because I already love you because the way you prepare. So I'll share something extra with you. I wrote this whole book about all these lessons. It's a very heavy book, you know, like there's a lot of detailed stuff on your brain and confidence and identity and time management and leadership and equanimity and it's heavy. It's not, this is not like another book. Like, you know, most books are just another book. It's the same book. I agree. I read a book like, I read two books a week because of this job, and I felt like it was new stuff. Thank you, yeah. Like, I'm just, I love Think and Grow Rich,

but about every book I read is like the same derivative of it, like in someone other's words, and I'm like, I already read this book. I already read it. I stopped reading it, right? Yeah. This isn't that. But, I woke up about two weeks ago,

it's been three weeks now, and I woke my wife up and I said, babe, and I was pretty emotional, I said, babe, I want everyone to hear this, you can just remember this the rest of your life, it's not even in my book. I said, babe, someone held my dad and it never occurred to me before. She says, what, she's waking up,

I said, someone held my dad. The most important decision of my entire life is my dad getting sober. It's why I'm talking to millions of people, our kids, our grandkids, millions of people I've reached. Some precious soul helped my daddy in the darkest moment,

most shameful down moment of his life. Some human being rose up in their humanity to that moment and saved our family. And I don't know who they are and it never occurred to me before and I said babe it goes a level deeper. What qualified this person to help my dad? The thing they were the most ashamed of and embarrassed by they were also an alcoholic and a drug addict at one point so the things they were the most ashamed of most embarrassed by that they think

disqualified them the most from winning because most people listen to your show, they're like, yeah but I'm young and you don't know about me but like I've done this stuff I'm embarrassed by. I never did this well. I broke up with my boyfriend or girlfriend or my first business failed. Not me, I'm disqualified. The very things you're most embarrassed about, ashamed of or think are average about you are the things that are qualifying you to change people's lives. This person, imagine when they were drinking,

driving, drunk, making the biggest mistakes of life, little did they know they were preparing for that moment to change my dad's life and mine and then millions of other people by extension the ripple effect. When they were doing drugs and stealing money and lying, they were preparing. It's your humanity, it's your frailties, It's your weaknesses. It's the things you're most vulnerable when you share with other people and then show them how to do something better that changes people's lives. When you leak your weakness, like I'd start out, I'm dumb.

I'm not the dumbest guy in the world, but I'm not the smartest guy in the world. People go, I can't believe you say that about yourself. It's what helps me connect with you. If I had a 250 IQ, you be like well this dude's amazing of course He did it. No. I got a 760 on my SATs. I'm a C plus student I'm not I was not you know I didn't run a 4 4 40 like I'm just an average guy and you know what that's what prepares me to help you and So that person's drug and alcohol addiction is what prepared them to change millions of people's lives. So never disqualify yourself.

Wow, that was powerful. I had chills while you were telling that story. I love that.