THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Be the One Voice That Changes Someone’s Life

Episode Date: July 10, 2025

Have you ever thought about how one word from you could shift someone’s entire day, maybe even their life? In this episode, I break down what it truly means to become an encourager and why the wo...rld desperately needs you to step into that role. This isn’t about throwing out empty praise or casual compliments. It’s about choosing to infuse courage into others with honesty, specificity, and presence, and in the process, watch your own confidence and self-esteem rise. I share why encouragement is “oxygen for the soul,” how it creates ripple effects far beyond what you see, and how it becomes a seedbed for your relationships, your leadership, and your purpose. We talk about how encouragement isn’t tied to someone’s results but to their effort and character, and why you need to be the person who notices and speaks into the small moments others overlook. It’s not just about making people feel good; it’s about transferring belief and equipping people to believe they can take the next step in their climb, even when they can’t see the top of the ladder themselves. If you want to stand out in a world full of critics, this episode will call you up to be different. This is your moment to decide to become the kind of person who changes lives, one conversation at a time. Key Takeaways: Why encouragement is about “infusing courage” and not just complimenting others How encouragement builds your own self-esteem while lifting others The difference between flattery and authentic encouragement How to encourage effort and character, not just results The ripple effect of becoming an encourager in your family, friendships, and business Practical examples of encouragement that build others’ belief in themselves When you finish this episode, choose one person to encourage today. Watch how it changes them—and how it changes you. Max out.   👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈   → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ←  ➡️ INSTAGRAM   ➡️FACEBOOK   ➡️ LINKEDIN   ➡️ X   ➡️ WEBSITE      Get my exclusive Monday Motivation training in GrowthDay, the world’s #1 app for advanced mindset and personal development. Visit https://growthday.com/ed. This show is sponsored by GrowthDay.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is, how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down, growthday.com forward slash ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way the way he's asked me I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start he's got about five thousand ten thousand dollars worth of courses that are in there that come with the app also some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content and they're
Starting point is 00:00:37 on a regular basis like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app and I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis and I do. So go over there and get signed up. You're going to get a free tuition free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward slash Ed.
Starting point is 00:00:56 That's growthday.com forward slash Ed. Advantage Gold is giving away a free copy of Rogoff's book to anyone who schedules a one-on-one precious metals appointment. You'll discover why gold is becoming the number one hedge against a global currency ship and how to move your IRA or 401k into physical gold. Tax and penalty free. Get your free copy today while supplies last. Text WIN to 85545.
Starting point is 00:01:21 That's WIN 85545 or go to Advantagegold.com data and message rates apply performance may vary you should always consult your financial and tax professional. This is the Enmirel show. All right welcome back to the show everybody very excited about week's topic. I think you're gonna love it. I think you're gonna want to share today's episode. I want to talk to you today about becoming an encourager and you know, this is not something really ever discussed in leadership or personal development and self-help and quite frankly, I don't have a lot of talents or skills, but many many years ago I
Starting point is 00:02:05 Frankly, I don't have a lot of talents or skills, but many, many years ago, I decided, I made an intentional decision to become an encourager of people. You do that, you're one in a million in the world because most people aren't encouraging or if they are, they're not conscious about it in any way, shape or form. So I want you to really lean in this week because I'm going to throw so much out. You know how we do the podcast here. This is like a course every single week and so I want you to think about this. Do you want to be unique and do you want to stand out in the world and really make a difference in your private or business life? If you do, if you could start to just become intentional about being an encouraging
Starting point is 00:02:40 person and by the way to me what encouraging means is to infuse courage into another person. When we discourage, we remove courage from somebody. Most people live in the middle. They're neither. They're not overly discouraging, but they're not over the top in their encouragement of people. And the main reason most people aren't encouraging of others is they don't believe they have enough value to encourage somebody. They think, well, why would anybody care what I think? And you would be blown away how much there are human beings right now, there's somebody right now in your life or that you will run into in the next 24 hours who just a little bit of encouragement from you could
Starting point is 00:03:21 completely change the trajectory of their day and potentially their life. And you may be the only person that comes into their life for years who even breathes one word of encouragement into them. And I'm going to talk about all the things that change in you when you become somebody who looks to encourage. So the first thing is you've got to become intentional. I'm going to begin to encourage people. I'm going to give you the distinctions between flattery and encouragement
Starting point is 00:03:47 and compliments and encouragement. Those are different things. But if you wanted to know if I have a private superpower in my life, it's my ability to connect with people. If you've watched my interviews, you'll notice I encourage them as we're progressing through the podcast. It's not even a strategy anymore. It's just a part of who I am.
Starting point is 00:04:06 It's who I want to be that when I get to heaven someday, I want there to be thousands if not millions of people that I've encouraged. I hope this podcast does. If you count the podcast then we've got you know maybe a hundred million people who have had the blessing of encouraging. So let's just think about this. Number one, there is enough discouraging people in the world and enough discouragement, which, by the way, is to remove courage from somebody, that we don't need any more of those. When you encourage, you literally are infusing courage into somebody and, believe it or not, yourself. Let me say that to you again.
Starting point is 00:04:37 When you encourage others, you have elevated yourself. You've elevated your own vibrational frequency. You are acting more Christ-like when you encourage, and you are elevating your own self-esteem. You want to have a hack to increasing your own self-esteem, your own self-confidence? Simply encourage other people. See how you feel. Not just the first time or the third time, but the 33rd time. When you begin to be a human who operates in the world as someone who looks for places and situations to encourage others. Watch what happens to the way the world begins to respond to you and how you feel about
Starting point is 00:05:13 yourself. George Adams said, encouragement is oxygen to the soul. Your soul as the encourager gets that oxygen as does the recipient. So, number two, what's the difference between encouragement versus flattery? True encouragement, listen, is specific, it's honest, and it's focused typically on effort or character, not just results or appearance. See, most people, they think, well, I'm encouraging. Hey, you're awesome. You're amazing. That's not specific. That's a compliment. That's flattery. That doesn't hit with most people. Okay? If you only exercise a positive message to somebody when they perform,
Starting point is 00:05:59 that's flattery. That is not encouragement. Encouragement is not focused on the consequence or the result ever. It's focused on the effort or the character of the person. And let me say something to you. When you encourage somebody about something specific about them that they intuitively know to be true, you have made a connection with them that maybe less than five people in their life has. What I mean by specific is
Starting point is 00:06:26 Things like hey brother I just want to tell you I admire you so much for how deeply you love your family and how willing you are to sacrifice For them specifically this situation I saw you in now that person if they say intuitively I do love my family. I will sacrifice for them It multiplies it by a factor over a hundred in my mind when you tell somebody something they hope to be true Have a hallucination that's true about themselves maybe a glimpse into and then you say yep It's true. You've connected them as a leader You have connected with them in a way that no leader probably ever has as a parent as a friend as a stranger
Starting point is 00:07:05 leader probably ever has as a parent, as a friend, as a stranger, when you say I see this in you and they go, you know, I kind of have always seen this in myself as well but no one's pointed it out. Now you're connecting with them in a very unique and authentic way that almost nobody ever has in their life. I really want to challenge you to be specific with your encouragement which means you need to take the time to truly be present with someone and read them and perceive them. Number three is you have to have the courage to encourage. Actually, my opinion about it is that if you're a believer that you're actually seeing Christ in them,
Starting point is 00:07:34 that most people intuitively kind of have a hunch that they've got two or three things about them that are special, but the world never notices it. Nobody ever acknowledges it. I mean, if you're a singer, if you're Beyonce, clearly your gift is very noticeable or if you can dunk like LeBron James, right, or hit a baseball like Aaron Judge, those skills are very easy to see or someone's got incredible intellect and they get straight A's all the time. But for the vast majority of us, our talents, our giftedness, our Christ in us isn't noticed by most people and it's never pointed out to us and we never feel great about ourselves.
Starting point is 00:08:13 And the other thing that happens is because we operate in the world this way and we don't encourage other people, we don't feel great about ourselves. And so what really number three is this, what you really require is courage. You have to have the courage to encourage. You have to have the courage to do it because it's a little bit awkward at first. It's a little bit odd. It's not appearance, right? It's not that, oh, you look beautiful today.
Starting point is 00:08:34 That's not encouragement. That's flattery. So the most meaningful courageous act you'll ever engage in is to encourage others. Words of affirmation and confirmation given to people has the potential to change the world. One encouragement at a time. When encouraging, be deliberate and be intentional. Be descriptive and be specific. Declarative. This is almost like speaking prophecy to somebody. Display. When possible, say it in front of their partner, their peers, parents or children. My friend Phil Muncie was messaging me about this and he's 100% right.
Starting point is 00:09:10 And then if you can take your encouragement to a completely different place, watch this. Talk great about people behind their back. Let it get back to them. You want to multiply encouragement? The best thing you've ever heard, isn't it? You should have heard so-and-so talking about you. Man, Joe loves you. Here's what he told me about you. So not only being encouraging to someone's face, you want to multiply it? Be encouraging about people behind their back.
Starting point is 00:09:33 There's enough of this gossip, right, in the world. This is like reverse gossip. The impact is amazingly powerful and they will find out eventually. What if you just became that person? You're encouraging about people when you're in their presence, right? You look, you're specific, you're declarative, you're descriptive, and at the same time when they're not around, when you're with other people, you're the one person who's constantly encouraging people who aren't even present. You just become a very unique and special human being like this. If there's any part of you right now that thinks, there's nothing special about me, I just gave you the
Starting point is 00:10:07 thing that now immediately makes you special. One in several million humans is encouraging to people and especially encouraging behind their back when no one's around, when they're not around and it does get back to them and it does multiply it. You want the double whammy? Tell me to my face something encouraging. Tell a bunch of other people the same thing about me when I'm not there and let it get back to me. The bottom line, the giving of encouragement has a reward. Remember this, flattery expects encouragement respects. Proverbs 18-21 talks about the power of words. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. Words can heal or harm.
Starting point is 00:10:50 Choose to speak life into others. Why do I know this? In all honesty, when I was a younger person, I used my gift to communicate, I think to do more harm than good. I was harsh. I was critical of people. I refrained from giving praise very often You had to really earn it with me and there's some power to that
Starting point is 00:11:09 But I think my words harmed more than healed and when I made that shift To becoming an encourager of people the biggest change was in me. The biggest change was the way the rest of the world responded to me I'm pretty sure I could attribute maybe 95% of the wealth I have to a date after I became an encourager of people. Isn't that interesting? So I want my words to heal people. And you go, well, Ed, that's great, you know, but most of us are just neutral. So be better than neutral, or you're gonna have a neutral life. Be better than average, or you're gonna have an average life be better than average or you're gonna have an average life There's very few things that you can control. There's your attitude and your activity and then there's this
Starting point is 00:11:56 Your overall outlook and the way that you interact with humans. And again, I know a lot of you like Ed No one cares what I think. Yes, they do Yes, they do. It matters what you think. Okay number five be present and pay attention It matters what you think. Okay, number five be present and pay attention Encouragers are listeners first notice what's going on in other people's lives and then speak into it Empathy is the seedbed of meaningful encouragement number six Encourage effort not just outcome celebrate the process give them courage to start Perseverance and growth not just the win. So I courage to start, perseverance and growth, not just the win.
Starting point is 00:12:27 So, I love to encourage people who are just in process. I love to encourage people who are just starting. I love to encourage people who are just persevering and their growth. A lot of times, you started a business, you're not making any money or you're like, right now I've lost, I think it's 28 pounds in a very short window of time. But I don't know that I really look that much different. I mean maybe I'm a little bit leaner but the fact of the matter is there's a part of me
Starting point is 00:12:51 that's growing and it's not the physical part, it's the mental and emotional part that says man I am only putting into my body the food that I said I would. I am training when I don't feel like it. I am doing all the things I said I was going to do. And so although maybe all the external results aren't there yet, the growth is happening. And it's been really cool to have friends of mine encourage me, hey man, this is great, you know, and it's not you look great. That's a compliment. That's flattery. It's hey, I'm proud of you brother. I know how bad that back's hurting of yours.
Starting point is 00:13:22 And you're overcoming that pain and you're getting in there and knocking it out anyway That's what impresses me about what you're doing. That's a description of encouragement versus flattery flattery. Oh, you look great. Okay, go deeper So hey guys, you may notice I've been standing a lot more during the podcast and one of the reasons that I'm doing that Thank God is uplift desks. I've got one right here with me right now You know your daily work routine can really make you fatigued and that's because you're sitting the whole time. With an uplift desk you can stand more often. Also you're gonna bring better energy to the work you have when you're standing rather than sitting all the time and I didn't realize how much sitting all day
Starting point is 00:13:57 was hurting my back and just dragging my energy down, dragging me down physically and mentally. So great work starts with a great workplace. Your workday does not have to make you feel all worn out. Just go to upliftdesk.com slash ed and use our code ED to get your free accessories, free same day shipping, free returns, and an industry leading 15 year warranty that covers your entire desk plus an extra discount off your entire order. That's UpliftDesk.com. That's U-P-L-I-F-T-D-E-S-K.com slash Ed. For this exclusive offer it's only available through our link. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp and I'm really glad that it is. I'm gonna tell you why. People ask me all the time, what do all
Starting point is 00:14:39 the guests on your show have in common? And it's not all of them, but most of them. They've been to therapy or they're in therapy. I've had athletes on, business people, thought leaders, musicians, actors, you name it. Across the board, most of the people I know that are happy and successful have been to therapy. Whether you've got something really traumatic you need to work through, maybe you're just not clear and focused right now and you want to talk through some stuff. Maybe something's bugging you. What I love about BetterHelp, it's affordable and if you don't click with your therapist, you can switch to another one right away.
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Starting point is 00:15:24 at Betterhelp.com edshow. That's better h-e-l-p dot com slash edshow. Number seven, model encouragement consistently. Be the kind of person that others can count on for really honest support, not just occasional praise. I have a friend this week, John Gordon, who's got a big event happening in town and I may or may not be able to get there. It's in a few days. I just picked the phone up and messaged him, hey brother, I love you, I'm praying for you, so proud of you for putting this event on. I know how hard it is, I'm sure today's a stressful day and I just want you to know it's going to go incredible and only you could pull this event
Starting point is 00:16:05 Off I told him but I said more than that brother I'm just proud of the man you are but because you're such a great man All these people want to be at this event the speakers to support you and I could tell you that I regularly do that with my friends It's not just occasional praise. Hey, I heard you had a great meeting Whatever, you know, happy Father's Day. Happy birthday That's occasional praise on the 80 other messages. They got that day stand out Whatever, you know, happy father's day, happy birthday. That's occasional praise on the 80 other messages they got that day. Stand out, model it consistently.
Starting point is 00:16:32 Think about this. What if you just tactically, strategically, intentionally just said, okay, I heard my Let's Podcast today, I like it. I'm going to start just intentionally being better at this, okay? By the way, at the end, I'm going to encourage you, just pick one person when this is over and encourage them. Text, phone call, email, you name it. Walk over to them if they're near you.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Number eight, encourage multiplies. Encourage people become encouragers themselves. It's almost like lighting candles from one flame. One flame lights the next, next, next, next, next, next. You're actually creating a ripple effect in the world You're actually changing the world
Starting point is 00:17:08 one person at a time the ripple effect In our life is something most of us never calculate on anything that we do We don't think about the ripple effect of any of the good things we do We just think about the one person we've helped there's a ripple effect when you encourage people they become more encouraging of other people Here's a couple quotes about encouragement. This one's unknown, but I love it. A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success. So many people right now are in a stage of their life where they need you. They're struggling, they're hurting, it's not going the way they want.
Starting point is 00:17:42 And most people are waiting around until they succeed to praise them. But very few people intervene and go, I want to encourage you right now. You're making a great effort. It matters. I'm proud of you. You're overcoming. You're building resiliency. You're learning. You're growing. It may not be showing up, but I see it. I just want you to know I see your growth. I have a driver that drives me at a particular event that I speak at very regularly and he was driving me a couple weekends ago and He's a fan of mine in the beginning, but we become friends and he said Ed He said I just got to tell you I'm so proud of you and I said why because I just seen you grow in your
Starting point is 00:18:16 Faith so much. I've seen it like you probably don't see it because it's in your life. I've seen you you're just a little gentler a little gentler, a little slower, a little kinder, a little... You always were Ed, but it's a different level now. And I just want you to know, brother, I see it in you and I'm very proud of you. Now, you would think, well, he's my driver, he was my fan, and why would that matter? It mattered deeply because he had no incentive in doing it. There's no above and below in life, there's just people. And when you begin to think of yourself as below or above, you're delusional. This was a man who I have admiration for, for reasons far beyond that he drives well.
Starting point is 00:18:59 He's actually somebody who's prayed for me, he's encouraged me to read more scripture. We're actually both reading the Bible cover to cover this year together, we decided it. He's a friend and I think one of the reasons we bonded as friends is I started early in our relationship encouraging him and you know what that made him? It changed him into an encourager all the way back full circle to where now he encourages me and I'm mentioning it of all the encouragement I've received in the last month on my show to several million people That meant that much to me It meant that much to me. So yeah, there's no below or above in life
Starting point is 00:19:32 We're just humans and a word of encouragement goes a long way number 10 what encouragement is and what it isn't It's not flattery as I said or empty praise. It's truthful specific and life-giving flattery as I said or empty praise it's truthful specific and life-giving life-giving you're breathing life into somebody Encourage effort as I've said growth and all of that this quote by dave willis Just keep standing out to me be an encourager. The world has plenty of critics already man I gotta tell you something more than any time in human history. I believe there are critics I believe it's our culture to criticize to tear down There's a whole industry out there of making fun of people online These people build nothing
Starting point is 00:20:11 All they do is tear others down The best news that spreads around the world is bad news More than ever you could stand out a few and an encourager. There are critics everywhere They're a dime a dozen. They're losers. They're losers. You remember the cool guy in high school that was always kind of a funny dude who made fun of everybody? You know that guy? He still works at a liquor store in your hometown, doesn't he? Because people who pull people down, it's really funny in the moment and they go nowhere in their life
Starting point is 00:20:46 People who are neutral typically stay neutral in their lives People who elevate who they are as a being and encourage other people they go to the top They go to the top. I want you to go to the top So here's an example of how to do it instead of saying you're amazing say I admire how you keep showing up of how to do it. Instead of saying you're amazing say I admire how you keep showing up even when things got hard. Okay? When you encourage someone you equip them to encourage others. This creates a culture where people thrive not just survive. If you're building a company, if you're a leader become an encourager of people and not performance, effort and character. Now you've created a culture in your company where encouragement takes place. You've elevated the vibrational frequency, the performance of your company like that.
Starting point is 00:21:28 And if you do it consistently over time, as I said earlier, here we go. You're now building a great company. I love spiritual and biblical truths to tie in. Theologians 5 11, listen to this. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up. It's right there. So be specific. By the way Take all the scripture stuff aside and let's just say what does science tell us? Well, let's figure this out. Let's take a look
Starting point is 00:21:53 Verbal encouragement enhances physical performance It turns out a study published in the Journal of Sports Science has examined the effects of verbal encouragement frequency during maximal exercise. So it measured the frequency of encouragement during maximum effort exercise. They tested it. Participants who receive verbal communication every 20 to 60 seconds showed significant performance in VO2 max, exercise time, and perceived exertion compared to those who receive no encouragement or encouragement every 180 seconds. This suggests that frequent verbal encouragement can lead to greater maximum effort during physical tasks. If that's true physically, we definitely know it's true mentally. You imagine that?
Starting point is 00:22:36 This is tangible, scientific, VO2 max, performance, the outlook on the performance as well. Weights lifted, times recorded, cardio, extension, etc. All measured, all goes up when there's verbal encouragement every 30 to 60 seconds compared to none or infrequently every 180 seconds. So if you're not a scripture person and you're a science person, you need to be an encourager. Leo Biscogli has said, too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, all of which has the potential to turn a life around. To turn a life around. Number two, you want some more science stuff? Here we go. Peer
Starting point is 00:23:15 encouragement boosts self-efficacy and performance in children. Research involving children performing endurance tasks found that those who received peer encouragement reported higher relation-inferred self-efficacy and demonstrated improved physical performance compared to those who did not receive encouragement. This highlights the role of social interactions in enhancing self-belief and task performance. We'll talk about self-efficacy a little bit, but this is basically your ability to lead yourself. Number three, check this out. Study again, Newcastle University. Visual cues of being watched encourage positive behavior. A study conducted by researchers at Newcastle University discovered that displaying images
Starting point is 00:24:00 of staring eyes in a cafeteria led to a significant increase in patrons cleaning up after themselves. This phenomenon rooted in nudge psychology suggests that subtle cues implying observation can promote pro-social behavior. Why does that matter? When you encourage, it tells someone you're watching and when people believe they're being watched, everything about them changes. Morally, ethically, exertion, effort, and performance. Even to the point where they just see eyes on a wall and a cafeteria, they're twice as likely to clean up after themselves because now
Starting point is 00:24:41 they believe they're being watched. Why? Almost everybody you meet feels invisible. They walk into a room, no one notices them. No one greets them. If they do, they get light, welcome, good to see you, how's your day? If best human beings get flatter, you look great today, I love your smile. That's weak Encouragement is what we've talked about earlier. It's deeper Lisa Brevere said this you've been given the rare opportunity to breathe belief into someone else Just think about that right now you holding the power of your hands to any other human being to breathe belief into them Into their soul my driver did that. Thanks, Frank.
Starting point is 00:25:26 Very much, brother. I love you. Number four, praised. This is science. Praised focus on effort encourages a growth mindset. Carol Dweck has great stuff. I love her work research. Her research says that praising effort rather than an innate ability fosters a growth mindset.
Starting point is 00:25:44 Children who are commended for their hard work are more likely to embrace challenges and persist through difficulties as opposed to kids who are praised for their talents. You're so smart, you're so pretty, that's hollow. You work so hard, you overcome difficult things so often. I'm so proud of you. You see the distinction?
Starting point is 00:26:06 It's right in the psychology. Number five, encouragement enhances enjoyment and reduces perceived exertion. A study showing sports science students revealed that teacher provided verbal communication during strength and endurance exercises not only improved performance, but also increased enjoyment and reduced perceived exertion. This underscores the psychological benefits of encouragement and physical activity. Alright, last thing on this. Social support improves performance and lowers perceived difficulty. When someone's encouraged, the difficulty of the task in front of them is reduced in their mind.
Starting point is 00:26:41 An experimental study found that participants who viewed images of supported individuals while performing a hand grip task exhibited better performance and perceived the task as less difficult compared to those who viewed it images of just complete strangers. This demonstrates the effect of perceived social support on performance and effort. So all of this adds up. I said early that encouragement enhances self-efficacy. Here's the concept of self-efficacy. Individuals who are positively persuaded of their abilities are more likely to exert effort and persistent tasks even when faced with challenges. Encouragement serves as a source of this positive persuasion, thereby enhancing an individual's belief
Starting point is 00:27:24 in their capacity to succeed. Today's show is sponsored by Strawberry.me. So you know this, I'm a big believer in coaching, especially when it's from a reliable source. And I think most people should have some interaction with somebody who's helping them get better in their life. So if you're waking up every day and you know you're capable of a little bit more, but you're not really sure how to get there, listen success doesn't just happen. Most successful people in the world don't figure it out on their own. They
Starting point is 00:27:48 have a coach, they have mentors, they got coaches, they have people guiding them every step of the way. That's where strawberry.me personal coaching comes in. You'll identify your obstacles that are holding you back, you'll develop a step-by-step plan, take action and confidence, you can be held accountable if you want to. Knowing you have a dedicated support staff, a coach behind you every step of the way. Instead of relying on guesswork or waiting for the right time, I've had a personal coach for a long time and it's helped me tremendously in my life. You know, I love that Chinese proverb, if you want to know the road ahead, ask those
Starting point is 00:28:17 coming back. That's what a coach can do for you. They've got the directions many times in your life. Go to strawberry.me.ed and claim your $50 credit. That's strawberry.me.ed. It's a foundational aspect of being a leader. So why? What are the psychological mechanisms? Here we go. Self-esteem and emotion regulation. A study published in Frontier Psychology said that positive parenting behaviors including encouragement were linked to higher self-esteem, better emotional regulation, and adolescence. Here's what that basically means. Your kids are less likely to act out when you encourage
Starting point is 00:28:49 them regularly. Period. Behavioral activation. Research indicates that courage is associated with the behavioral activation system, which is a sensitive area that rewards and motivates individuals to approach positive outcomes. Encouragement can stimulate this system in your brain, therefore promoting courageous behavior by enhancing the motivation to pursue goals despite potential risks. Absolutely, self-efficacy is a psychological concept that was introduced by Albert Bandura and here's essentially what it means. Your belief and your ability to succeed in a specific task. Listen close as a parent or as a friend or as a spouse or significant other.
Starting point is 00:29:31 Love is entry level. Belief is the big leagues. See, I believe almost all parents show their children love. Most do. Almost all people give one another love and an intimate relationship or in a friendship. Almost nobody transfers belief. When my kids left my house when they were growing up, I said by the time they're 18, I will have transferred my full belief into them.
Starting point is 00:29:57 Not just their abilities or their pretty or smart, but how they work, their character, how they treat people, how they listen, what type, how they treat people, how they listen, what type of a friend they are. When Bella would run out of the house, I'd say, be a leader, be a leader, not a follower. Max, you're a gladiator, you're a champion, you're the greatest of all time, constantly encouraging them. Measure yourself right now as a friend, as a husband, wife As a father as a mother as a leader in business Forget the love part. How good are you at transferring belief?
Starting point is 00:30:31 Regularly consistently specifically authentically as a human being You want to shift your life shift this think of it this way Two people may have the same talent, same training, same opportunity, but one with high self-efficacy is more likely to try in the first place, persevere through setbacks, bounce back after failure, and stay motivated. There's a direct correlation between someone being encouraged and their self-efficacy. This is where, you know, things like encouragement is one of the ways that you help people build self-efficacy. But when you say I believe in you, you've got what it takes. You're not just making someone feel good.
Starting point is 00:31:11 You're giving them the psychological fuel to believe they can succeed, which is the seed of courage. Think of it this way. The ladder and the light. It's a great metaphor. Self-efficacy is like holding a flashlight at the bottom of a tall ladder for someone else. Each rung represents a step towards your goal. If your flashlight, which is self-efficacy, signs only on the first few rungs, you might hesitate. You can't see the top and fear of doubt sets in. But if that flashlight signs all the way up, you believe, I can climb this. It's possible.
Starting point is 00:31:46 It'll be hard, but I've got it. I can see the steps. Now imagine someone standing beside you saying, I've seen you climb before. You're stronger than you think. I've got the light held here. Just take the first step. That's encouragement.
Starting point is 00:32:02 Encouragement doesn't build the ladder for you, but it helps you aim your flashlight higher and that changes everything. So self-efficacy at the end of the day is the inner belief that says, I can do this. And when someone is encouraging you, it's like they're helping you point your flashlight all the way up the ladder. Suddenly the climb isn't so impossible and it feels worth trying. I want you to be a flashlight in people's lives. And I went out of my way today to tell you that if you wonder maybe why I've had the moderate success that I've had in my life, many of the rich friendships I've had,
Starting point is 00:32:37 and why most of the time I've got pretty good self-esteem and self-confidence as someone who grew up with none and struggled with it a lot in his adult life. I can relate it all the way back to something I've talked about with you guys before which is the power of my intentions. But if you peel that layer back one more and you look a little bit deeper intentions to do what? My intentions are to be an encourager of people to believe in people to love people My intentions are to be an encourager of people, to believe in people, to love people, but all of the above, not one of the three. I don't wanna be a neutral human being.
Starting point is 00:33:11 I wanna be somebody who changes people's lives in big ways and small ways, whether it's on stage in front of 25,000 people or a podcast that goes to several million or if I'm in the back seat and it's my driver and I talk it with one another. It's the same formula be an encourager Alright everybody. I hope today helped you please share this
Starting point is 00:33:29 Okay, if you're not getting the podcast early get on my email list at my light comm you get the podcast before everybody else Sees it. God bless you max out

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