THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Christina P: Beyond Comedy

Episode Date: August 16, 2022

This week you will LAUGH, LEARN, and be incredibly INSPIRED.My guest had an insanely difficult childhood and still went on to have tremendous success in so many areas of life.How do you overcome pain? A difficult childhood or relationship?How do you navigate career and family? Etc etc This week I’m honored to share with you the truly incredible Christina Pazsitzky.At the end of the show I think you’ll feel like you went through one of the most enjoyable therapy sessions you could possibly ever imagine.I have followed her work for a couple of years now, and I think she is one of the MOST TALENTED ARTISTS in any field I’ve ever seen.She is married to stand-up comedian TOM SEGURA and has two boys, so you can guess how crazy that house is most times.  Although you’ll crack up at what she’s got to say, much of Christina’s humor is rooted in some pretty HEAVY ISSUES. Much of the world’s great humor starts from places of pain, and as you’ll hear, Christina is no exception.Christina has taken those DARK, EDGY PLACES with no safe place that scared her as a child and turned them into EMOTIONAL INSIGHTS that can’t be faked. Try growing up with a mom who was borderline schizophrenic and a dad who’s been married five times! She was able to take those extremes and turn them into INCREDIBLY RELATABLE OBSERVATIONS.Pay particular attention to Christina’s KETAMINE TRIP after breaking her ankle in four places. It’s one of the most powerful stories I’ve ever heard, especially after tying it into the story she tells on her Mom Genes special.You’ll also hear Christina’s take on going to THERAPY for 12 years. Spoiler alert! In a completely sane answer, she’s a big fan of it.Expect to LAUGH.But also be prepared to DROP A TEAR or two…That’s the essence of comedy.And the essence of Christina P.Enjoy!

This is the end my let's show. Hi everybody, welcome back. Fired up. I reached out to this woman to be on my show after I experienced her work. I haven't done that in probably two years, I was telling her, I said, I want you to come on my show. Then I found out she followed all of my friends and peers except me in the personal development business self-help space Wherever you want to call it. I think that this is one of the most talented artists and any craft on the planet today

And that's why I wanted her here. Stay here. I mean it She has a special out on Netflix right now called mom jeans Which I've watched four times including last night with my kids and we were literally belly laughing, falling over. She has a hugely successful podcast with her husband, Tom Segura, call your mom's house. She's got another podcast called, Where My Mom's At. And I cannot wait for this hour

because I want to know you and I want you to help a bunch of people. So Christina P, welcome to the show. Oh my gosh, thank you so much for having me. And yeah, when you reach out to me, I was like, who is this maniac? And then I took a dive, and then I started listening to your podcast,

and I'm like, dude, I know why you reached out, because it's game, recognize game, homie. That's right, that's right, homie. You and I are on the same frequency, I feel. Yeah, I think so too. We raised a little different, you know, and different. Well, yours comes out and being so funny. I just, you guys, if you haven't seen mom jeans, you guys, it's, it's, uh, make me emotionally even talking. I don't know.

It's so good because it's, it's art. Like you, you will laugh really, really, really, really hard. And then you're going to really think about your life, though, too. And, uh, it's a beautiful hour. Ah, well thank you, I'm glad that you, I'm gonna make me cry. Damn it, what are you crying? Do what I do at the end. These are feelings, I know, you and your feelings are so connected.

Well, I think by the end, we'll be really connected. How did, I mean, you're connected to yourself. How did you do that? Thank you. Work, you know, I think maybe when you're raised where you're disconnected from who's raising you, you have no choice but to maybe find a way to connect somewhere and that's usually either

with yourself or with God or something like that. And so I think you become really like self-aware and self-reflective when you might not have a connection with one of your parents, don't you think? Oh, 100%. I mean, I spent my childhood hiding from my parents. I was an only child. And so it was, you know know in my room with the record player

Or watching these sitcoms watching television and studying how supposedly normal people behaved me too, right? And you're like, oh is that is that how families act are they nice to each other? It's so weird. Did you think that growing up like I wanted like I would look at other families and go Oh like they just sit there and talk with each other and no one's drunk No one's yelling. Everyone's, is that, are they faking it? Did you think that? I 100% did.

And the first time I visited my husband's family, my future in-laws, right? I remember them being, like, talking to each other and being like, how was your day? What'd you do today? Oh, did you do that thing that you said you were gonna do? And I was like, wait a minute. You guys, you ask each other? Yeah, me you were gonna do? And I was like, wait a minute, you guys, you ask each other?

Yeah, me too. Yeah, or the sister was like, Mom, can you bring me a bowl of cereal? And I was like, if I had even requested that? Me too. I'd be like, well, get you it on cereal. What's your f***, crazy? I heard you start writing any stuff.

No, it's okay. I remember the first time I went over a friend's house and they like sat at a dinner table and the mom brought like fruit over to the table. I was like, wow, this is, you guys, we ate on the floor. Like, it wasn't, and by the way, I have a great mom. I had a great dad too, once you got sober, but that took a while. So I want you to describe your upbringing a little bit, and I want to get to know you.

And by the way, everyone, you're going to really, I think, fall in love with her today. And also, there's going to be a lot of insights on how you can change your own life. Everything we do here is can change your own life. Everything we do here's like, change your own life. And I know, if you know Christina P. at all, like she does really funny stuff most of the time and it's light, but there's a depth to you. See how much a lot of comedy. And I love comedy because it's the best public speakers

in the world, and that's one of the things I do is I study you guys and how you do it, but there's depth to you that I've not seen in anybody else. Oh. In anyone else. And I think that's because you're upbringing. So you have two parents. The good parent who you speak highly of is who this is the good one, by the way. And so as I understand it,

you're the good one your dad has been married five times. Is that right? Is it five? Well, you know, there's a little factual fudging here and there, but yeah, a few times. Is he really married to someone that much younger than him? Is that actually a true story? Or date someone younger than him? Younger, yeah. I fudge a little. Yeah, everybody does. Yeah, it's for comedic purposes, but the, but the gist of it is yes. Your dad was a player.

Oh, I mean, well, yeah, I'll give you the stats. So parents are Hungarian immigrants. They escape from communism 1969. They get married at 19 and 20 and leave their country at that young age. Can you even imagine being like, I'm out. Let's escape. Escape communism, bro. They go to Canada.

They have me in Canada and then we move to the US in 1980. By then their marriage has just dissolved because my mother is mentally ill. She's a borderline, but back then nobody called it anything. We didn't know it and she later became schizophrenic. And my father is an alcoholic obviously to deal with his, they know they had horrendous upbringing. It's not their faults, right? They divorce and then it's me alone, ping ponged between my mentally ill mother or my alcoholic, sex addict, father. Wow.

Right, but you know it, because your parents stayed together. I'm not sure what's worse. Well, mine was redemptive because my mom was well adjusted. My mom was there and was solid. The reason I probably connect with you is I picture your dad, maybe not all that much unlike my dad.

And then I'm thinking though, if I didn't have my mom, and then you having a probably even more disconnected mother. Yeah. And I literally, I'll be honest with you, I'm watching your show. I wanna make sure I do a great interview with you today because I actually feel like this can care for you from watching you, which is a comedy special. I've be honest with you, I'm watching your show, I wanna make sure I do a great interview with you today cause I actually feel like this can care for you from watching you, which is a comedy special,

I've never laughed harder either, but when you were speaking and doing your show, I was picturing you as a little girl. I was actually picturing it with your mom and how scary that might have been sometimes seeing her not be functional and normal and losing her temper and stuff like that. What can you tell us a little bit what it was actually like?

And out of your off stage, what's the real? Yeah, it's, I'm like I'm still on therapy. You know, it's just to let people know. Like I've been in therapy for 12 years and then I feel like just now I'm getting into the actual trauma work, where you feel the feelings of terror that you had as a child. And I had terror and fear because there was no, there's no safe place when you're like that.

Right. So my mother would become, I remember one time, she made these lunches for me and then I didn't like. It was like hungarian lunch and like, like salami with butter. And I take it to school and I'm like, I don't want to eat this. You know, I'm going to make you funny me because I'm a foreigner. And so I hide the sandwiches in the bottom of my book bag because I don't, I can't throw them out because I feel too guilty about throwing them out again trouble. And I can't tell her that I don't like the sandwiches. I can't throw them out because I feel too guilty about throwing them out again trouble. And I can't tell her that I don't like the sandwiches. I can't tell her because she'll get mad. So I hide a bunch of, I eventually have a stock pile of like 14 or 15s, kind of my hands are sweating

you tell me a story. And I hid them in my closet. Well eventually the stench of 14 or 15 salami and butter sand which is caught up. And she found them. And it was a rage. And it was like, you know, everything, my anger. And then, and then she kicks me out. And that's the beginning of like, kicking me out to go live with my father. And my dad's house wasn't a lot better. So that, you know, because alcohol and girls and party and all that jazz. So it's basically like, I'm betrayed everywhere. I go, I look and I don't have a safe place and it's scary and terrifying. What's your day to day like then? Are you always scared?

Always do you have, were you not a confident kid? The reason I ask people, you know what I'm asking you this? Millions of people listen to this and be like, okay, there's a piece of me in her. I really believe this in life. If you really want to impress everybody, just show them how perfect you are. If you want to connect with people and help them, show them your imperfections. For sure. And you and I both do a really good job of that. And so you're this little girl. And I just picture you bouncing from these two dysfunctional people. Yeah. And with no other even siblings to grab onto and say, okay, they love me. They'llal people. Yeah. And with no other even siblings to grab onto and say,

okay, they love me, they'll protect me, nothing. No, but you know who I did have along the way were sensible adults, teachers that I liked and that I could speak to. I had American, I say American, because like, you know, I'm an alien in the sense, you know, this too is a child of an alcoholic. You're an alien because you're different and you know it

and you can't tell people at school like, what's going on at home? Because you know that that's a secret you must keep. So I would go to my friend's house, I lived at my friend's house, but the time I was 12, I was out. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, the time I'm 12, I have this epiphany that I'm alone.

Truly alone. And a next essential, like I was a latch key kid, so I was physically alone, but that I was an adult truly alone. And an existential, like I was a latch-key kid, so I was physically alone, but that I was an adult. I was gone. So I would try to stay at my friend's houses and get the f*** out. But how did I, I'll tell you what I did know at that age, is that my suffering?

You know when you're like, you know you're suffering, but you don't really know as a kid. You don't know. It's all you know. But I knew that there was something inside of me that was resilient. There was some magic that you know what I'm saying? I would watch Pipi Longstocking.

Yeah. So did I. And it was like because of those characters, because of the mythologies and the, whatever it is, I was glomming on two stories. I would pretend to be that person. Like, my life isn't this, I'm Pippi Long. Isn't this fun?

I actually turned it into, I'm living with my single dad and he makes me eat on paper plates, but I can cut my spaghetti with scissors because I'm Pippi Longstocking. Like, I turned it into a fun thing. Yep, yep. You too? Yeah, I think that, look,

stuff's over said in personal development. Everything's happening for me, not to me. I don't know if I was the first person to say that or the third, I'd like to think I was the first. But sometimes that stuff's easy to say and hard to apply. But I do think like, I became really resilient

because of it. I became, I really, you know, in the business world, I've made a lot of money. One of the ways I've made a lot of money is like two things. Both of them, because my dad was a drinker. One, I have learned to be really read people well, be present with them. The reason was I had to figure out when my dad was coming through that front door, which one was I getting? Was I getting the sober one who was going to be okay? We're going to have dinner and play basketball or was it the drunk one? And, you know, maybe my mom and sister should go upstairs. So I would read this man and that I didn't know Napoleon Hill says and think and grow rich.

Love that book. Me too. It's the second best book ever written on personal and other than the power of one more which is sitting next to you. And but in that book, he says, on the other side of temporary pain, you meet your other self. And I met this version of me that wouldn't have existed where I'm really good at reading people and being present with them. And then the other thing I'm

decent at doing is communicating. So were you and because I had to learn how to talk to my dad when he was in those states so that I could change him just a little bit or even move certain ways I would move, little did I know that those two things were forming this version of me that I would use someday to help millions of people. And I watch you, and I watch your ability to have like insights into human beings' behaviors, and how they move and operate, how they think, and then your ability to communicate. And I think some of that's got to be part of the blessing of going through what you went through. Suffering. Suffering makes you funny, makes you clever, makes you resourceful. Everybody I know, like you, most of the guys I know that are hugely successful didn't graduate from

Harvard. Yeah, right. Me too. Or crappy at school, and had horrible upbringing. Isn't it interesting? It's the secret sauce, isn't it? It is. Yeah. It is. But I think for me, my father loved comedy and good humor. So I was watching Richard Pryor when I was little and Eddie Murphy, and Saturday Night Live,

and Cheach and Chong, and this was my education. And then the truly tasteless joke books I would memorize those because those would be in the bathroom. And I would tell those jokes to my father or to my schoolmates at school. I would go to school and like third grade. And I would repeat these jokes that are, you know, by today's standards, completely verboten, right? Like blonde jokes and Jewish jokes. And then I didn't even know what what they were. But I knew that people laughed. And that's how I could get out of stuff.

And I also, I became entertaining to my dad so that I wasn't a burden. Interesting. See, if you right now in the middle of this, like, took a minute and went over to YouTube and watched Christina, you'd see this, like, I mean, I'm not saying it's the compliment. You just see this very powerful, very together, very,

to walk out on a stage, any stage, and to own it like you do. There's a command, there's, there's something. So I don't know if you've done a lot of interviews like this, I don't think you have. No, we don't talk. Comedians are generally like, let's talk about our farts. Right, but comedians are also usually

pretty dark people in your life, right? Would you agree with that? I think that's one thing most people wouldn't know. My friends that are super funny or that do it for a living. There's a, I guess I call it a darkness or a pain or something they're moving away from most of the time in their life. Is that true? Well, here's the deal.

The funnier you are, the more you've embraced the darkness, in my opinion. It's the funny, the funniest ones or the ones who know it's there and don't push it away. That's what personally, my taste and comedy has always been Bill Hicks or Carlin or these guys, I love Greg D'Roldo, he passed away from drugs, but these guys that could really harness the darkness

and go there, I don't give a sh** out cook. What's the difference between cooking and cooking? I don't care. Shut up. Tell me the real, you know? So yes, but here's what I would argue is that most people are dark. There's everyone has the shadow itself

and comedians aren't always afraid of going there. But you're accountant, you're a lawyer, you're dentist. Guess what? They're dark too, probably. Only true're accountant, you're a lawyer, you're dentist. Guess what? They're dark too, probably. Only true, yeah, bro. But you haven't looked, you don't want to peak. Mm. If I'd have met you at like 12th.

Oh. Who would I be meeting? Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, you do you though, you do you two, okay? Okay, okay. Okay, so so 12 I started smoking cigarettes already Started wearing all black

I was already School was kind of not interesting. I Want to hang out and smoke cigarettes listen to punk rock. I started I want to go to night clubs by 1314 I'm in goth night clubs and like doing, yeah. Just kinda angry and confused. Go back a minute, I'll tell you me. Yeah. Is it really true that you were in bars with your dad

when you were a little girl? That's actually true, that's a true part of your life. Yeah, that's about parts true, 100%. Your father would take you out to a bar at six, seven, eight years old and you would be dancing to white lines in bars. Is there some truth to that. Yeah, it's all true.

So that part's true. And that's why I actually paid out of my own money to license that Frankie goes to Hollywood song. I went with the end. I, it's so, I'm so screwed up because I know about all these things. I'm like, damn, she must have paid for that to be at the end because that ain't free. I thought about that last night.

I paid so much money because that, because Netflix paid for my crazy outfit, which is unfortunate. And they paid for this crazy outfit, which is unfortunate. And they paid for this New York City. It was like huge, huge budget. And then I was like, and I want Frank and goes to Hollywood. And they're like, it's the perfect end now. Yeah.

You guys got to go see this. But so that, I'm going to stay there. So I go to, so so my dad, my dad goes to party. And, and you know, back in the old country, you don't, there's no babysitters. So his dad would take him to the bar. I imagine is what happened. That's it.

That is what happened. And so I grew up in bars and nightclubs very early. So, third grade, I've actually really fun memories as a kid going to these bars and dancing and dancing to the 80s music, which is the best, dude. Like, I really looked out in that regard. And I have a vivid memory of dancing with sailors. And there's literally sailors.

They're at Fleet Week of whatever, and I'm a little girl, and that song, Monimoni, comes on. And do you know what the hidden chorus is? Hey, mother, effer, get, get, effed, and they, and here I am. Everyone yells it. Yeah, and then I was like, what?

Oh, and that I'm chanting it, like, but it was fun for me, and yeah. You thought white lines was a coloring book, so. I did, I had no idea what that it was about cocaine. I was so little. And then I'd go to school the next day and I knew to keep it a secret. You knew.

So there's something you do. I want, this sounds really corny, but I'm listening to the part of your act. And I like, I want to hug this little girl. I also just picture you at your age and me at that age and what I was doing. What are you into at 12? Well, at 12, I went the other way.

Well, first, if you let me at 12, yeah. If you let me at 12, you would meet a really shy kid. Really shy, really introverted, no confidence whatsoever of any type, but I was good at baseball. And so I kinda went the other way. I was more like straight lace, never got in trouble. It was afraid to become what I was seeing in my house.

I was afraid. My dad was still drinking when I was 12. So I kind of became more like an athlete type, I guess, but I wasn't like one of those athletes where like I was a cocky athlete. It was just the only thing I was any good at. It was the only thing. Like, it was the one place I went where I was like, oh, I don't completely totally suck here. I know it was bullying me there, right?

You know, I would worry. There was worries like I would worry on game days if my dad was going to show up to a game. And if he did, was he drunk? If he was at the game, was he going to say or do anything? Sometimes I feel bad because I'm describing these times and I know my mom listens to my show and she's like, was it really that bad? And I'm like, I don't know.

Maybe it is worse when I describe it now because it's all I knew, right? Like it's all I knew. And my dad did end up getting sober. And so there's like the reason I'm in this, like you can change yourself space as I watch my old man do it, right? So I'm like, I watch my hero do it. But probably if you met me then, I don't even know that I'd be that much different than I am now. I think when people meet me now, they're like, I kind of expected, you know, I don't know, you'd have more of, I don't even know that I'd be that much different than I am now. I think when people meet me now, they're like, I kind of expected, you know, I don't know, you'd have more of, I don't know,

like that front that people have that are successful or whatever, I still, I'm like, hey, man, I'm working on myself. And there's certain environments I'm comfortable in. You put me in front of 15,000 people on a stage. I'm completely at home and I own it. You put me in a cocktail party with like six or eight people. And someone's right here and I'm like, yeah,

I gotta, yeah, I gotta You gotta make the go the rest like I'm constantly trying to avoid you said that you know, Tom's a little that way Yeah, my husband's an introvert like that. Yeah, he's not the life of the party I think I'm a lot more fun at a party than he is from the bar experience seriously like you're used to being social I love party. Yeah, and and it's also culture like My that we're Hung, so like on Sunday, we have a party, everybody comes over, are you telling dirty jokes, you're drinking,

give me off, you know, it's like this, I was never like shy as a kid, because my mother pushed me into acting when I was four. So I was like, yeah, I was auditioning and already kind of a show business. And then I think around 10 or 11, I do like a pilot and then I'm like, I don't wanna be an actor. This is for the birds, this is, I'm depressive. And that's actually what I was around 10 or 11, I do like a pilot and then I'm like, I don't want to be an actor.

This is for the birds. This is, I'm depressive. And that's actually what I was going to share with you. So by the time I'm 14, upside down, this is when I get super depressed. Because now when you're a mess in childhood, guess what? It comes back and adolescence. And now the drum, I really, so I'm 14 years old. I'm goth, I'm cutting, right?

I'm cutting at my arms just to feel some release because I'm so depressed and I'm sitting in the room in my room, just try to try to hide from my parents and the reality. And I, you know, you're confused. You think you're being dramatic? Like, is this really true? Is my family this wonky? Or like, I don't know. Am I, am I, I must be messed up because

you know, like, I'm the one that's flawed. So by the time I'm 14, I'm convinced it's me and not them, and I'm suicidal, and life is like, I have straight D's. I remember, like, I just decided to stop going to school. I just decided I was in ninth grade and I was like, I'm not going anymore. Then I just stopped going. I was like, no, thank you. I stopped going. Then I had straight Ds, I remember,

and I eventually went back and I was failing on a school. Then one day, I just went nuts in the bathroom stall cutting. I was just like, oh, and I just cut, I just went crazy. And this friend of mine, this girl I had been friends with and we had a following up, whatever, like she found me, she took me to the office at school. Oh my God. Yeah, so dramatic.

And then my mom came to get me and she saw my arms and then she started to hit me. I remember, she beat me and I was like, oh my God. Yeah, and I was like, just put me in a mental hospital. Like I begged them, I'm like, put me away. I think something's wrong with me, put me away.

And my mother worked for a psychiatrist and I think she's just worried about putting me in a mental hospital or whatever, like that it would stigmatize me or mess me up worse. So she kept, she was like, no. I didn't see a therapist yet. She's like, but do you wanna go to Catholic school? And I was like, yeah.

I mean, she showed me this brochure to this old girls Catholic school. And I was like, yeah, okay. So I went to the nuns and I loved it. I f***ed, I loved it, man. I had a mohawk at the time, like an orange mohawk. And I remember this nice head nun, the principal goes, listen, sweet Asian, come and sweet Asian,

goes, it doesn't have to be the color God gave you, it just has to be a God given color. I just, I died of brown and I hid my mohawk and I grew it out and I could put my book bag down and nobody would steal it. And by the time I graduated, I was like a leader of this retreat and I just flourished because of the boundaries and the,

it was an all-girl school too. So there was like, oh, I don't have to be cute. I'm wearing a uniform. I can just be a little girl again and I reverted and I was able to be safe. And that saved my life. Say your life. Catholic school saved my life. Saved your life. Catholic schools saved my life, yeah.

Yeah, it's pretty amazing to see your face right now. You know, this is mainly audio. I wish everyone could see your face. Yeah. So just thing to see you talk about that time. Think about your mom there for a second. So she loved you. I mean, she was trying with the limited capacity she had to help her

daughter there, right? I mean, did that ever dawn on you that I mean, she did love you, right? Yes. Yes. No, obviously too. A lot of what I say for comedic. It's no good if they're shades of gray. But I actually think you really feel it. Like, I actually think you, let me tell you what I mean by that. I really do feel these things about my dad. I feel guilty about feeling them because I know that that that's not wasn't his intent. It was his... You feel guilty about having negative feelings towards him? Yeah, I do because I love him so much.

I know he loved me so much. I've got to the other side of it now where I can, and this is so good for everyone listening to this who goes through these things, but I don't, I think it's okay that I feel it. I feel sometimes weird that other people know I feel it because I don't want them to think that of them. You don't want I think it's okay that I feel it. I feel sometimes weird that other people know I feel it because I don't want them to think that of me. You don't want them to judge him or you?

Both, both. I don't want to be judged for feeling that way. And also, like, I do know that my dad hurt people, hurt people, right? So I know that I was operating out of something that happened in his life, in his upbringing, same with his dad and so on and so on. But I feel weird about the fact that there's this man I love so much, but that these things did happen. I do feel this way.

You know, I have both feelings. I remember what it's like when I didn't feel good about them. And I remember what it feels like when I do. And I, and in your case, your mom was trying, but so when you went there, when you, Catholic school, does that when you start to change permanently or do you end up reverting back? Like, when do you become you? Right. So, so that's a good question. So, so also before before I go there, I love what you say about having

two simultaneous feelings. And I think that's what you learn in therapy is that I can love and hate my mom at the same time. I can love and hate my mom at the same time. I can love and hate my dad at the same time. I can thank my mother for all the wonderful qualities she had. She was fashionable. She had flair, she had timing. She was funny. She's crazy and you're the **** too.

Yeah, you see. You know what I'm saying? Like, my dad too is just like funny, anti-social, brooding, independent, resilient, brilliant, not. Does it ever dawn on you and I'll let you keep going? That'll be end up raising, because you're really humble. But does it ever dawn that these two people

raised a daughter who now, I mean, let's just be real. Like you're one of the more, I mean, you're gonna roll your eyes, I say this, but you are one of the more influential people on the planet in terms of your show and your reach and your husband and you. So fine, I don't even feel that way. Yeah, I know you don't even.

But you feel that way. No, not at all. But it's ridiculous. But you are. And so these two totally dysfunctional human beings. No, really raised this single child together, right? Right. And then you end up, I mean, I'm picturing you cutting yourself.

I was going to be like, you're terrible. But like, I was, by the way, I went through the stage where like I was so depressed. I don't know if I was, I just, I used to think, what the heck is life about? Why am I living this life? What is this, is this worth it at all? So that goes into that. Yeah, and I did you have that too. Yeah, man. So the darkness. So, okay. So, hold on. Back what you're just saying, how did they raise someone? I'll tell you why because it makes me sad because my parents are wildly awesome people who

had a bad go of it, man. Could you imagine being born in communist hungry? No. It's after World War II. So, the country's already been ravaged by the Germans, the war, war, awful poverty. And now the Russians come and destroy your country. And it's a nightmare. They have nothing. So I always think of them as this pure potential that just got destroyed. So I know that they've got the makings. Oh, but how they just had my life.

Yeah. Damn it. I loved how they just had my life. Yeah. Damn it. Yeah. I lucked out. They had your life. So you lucked out being raised by the two of them compared to what they had. 100%. 100%.

And here's another lucky thing I had. Money. Now, we weren't rich. I'm not saying I was rich. It's food every day. You have to worry about where meals were coming from. No, not like that. We were like middle class.

And I think back in the 90s, there was a middle class, right? Yeah. And I hate when people poop who money. It makes me bonkers when they're like, you need money, isn't everything? That's not everything. But it's awesome. Yeah, and the lack of it is horrible. And it sucks me in breath. Right, the lack of it's horrible.

Yeah, so it changes, so it gives you choice. So the fact that I was educated was a huge blessing. Now, I barely eats my way into college. Right? Barely got in, man, but I did. And then once I was out of the house, I was getting straight A's and I was like, oh, I'm not an idiot. It's just that I was in this place that I couldn't study

because everybody was screaming and yelling and it was a bad environment. And that's when I found philosophy. So I started studying philosophy and that changed my life. And that's when I was like, oh, I have a brain. I'm not just like a screw up who tried to kill herself in ninth grade. And I was always trying to outlive that stigma, being a loser.

Because my parents were like, oh, you thought I threw kill yourself. You know, it was like I disappointed everybody in my family. My grandmother wouldn't give me money that year for Christmas because she thought I was going to spend it on drugs, which I wasn't even really on drugs. You know what I mean? So I was like this loser in my family. So I found philosophy and I was getting A's and I was like, you know what?

Screw you, man. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna show you, right? I'm gonna show you, I'm a winner. And then I got into Oxford for a year and I went to study philosophy at Oxford. Yeah, man. Yeah, as I'm telling you, so I went from like, what? to like, I don't know what I'm going to be, but I'm going to show you my

way. Yeah, so I studied philosophy at Oxford. I come back and I'm, and I do that show road rules. I didn't know you did it at all. Yeah, a million years later. And then I was like, wouldn't it be great if I could make a living

just being myself, flash forward to podcasting? Anyway, I had this great boss after college because I had this degree in philosophy and I was such a useless degree. And he's like, he's like, you're the worst employee I've ever had. His name is Chris Abrego, shout out to Chris Abrego.

So Chris. And I, you're the worst employee I've ever had, but you're funny. Go do the ground links. That was 23. Come on. And then I went to the ground links and I was like, this is it it I found it

It's like when you find your thing you're good at yep, you found sports. Yeah, and then I'm like all right Hey, man, maybe you know, I'm an idiot. I'm a loser whatever This is something I love and once you get obsessed You know how it is like when you find your obsession. I don't care what it takes bro I'm gonna keep coming and do this put Put me in a f***ing motel six. Yep. Okay. Yeah, I'll do, you wanna go Afghanistan?

Can I do 15 minutes of stage time in Afghanistan? Yeah, do it all go. You did that? Hell yeah, I did everything. You did. Well I'm sure you did everything by any means. But in your case, so you find it, by the way, it's one of the great blessings of life. I always feel for people that have not yet found it. Yeah.

Because I feel like of all the things I got cheated out of in life, I did find some talents and skills when I was relatively young outside of baseball too, that I was like, okay, I like business, I like speaking. This is stuff I'm pretty really good at. I feel at home. I doesn't feel like a work when I'm doing it. That's the seat boom.

Doesn't feel like work when I, I always laugh when people call, you're going to work tonight? Stan, I'm like, like that's not it's never work, baby. I've had day jobs. I had 22 of them before I became a stand up. They all sucked. Yeah. Exactly. I'm gonna say work. Yeah. That's how I feel. Yeah. When were you good at it? Okay. So I think in order to know what you're what you're good at, you have to have beginners luck. I forget what book this is. Okay. Is this the 10,000 hours book? Is this blank? Not like outliers. Okay. There has to be some level of beginner's luck. The first time you do it,

you have to be freakishly good as a beginner. And I think the first time I did it, I was like, oh, okay, that wasn't horrible. I didn't completely eat it. And then I was just hooked. I was like, I'm gonna figure this out. I just looked at it as a logical problem. And like, I wanna fight my demons. I'm not a loser. I'm gonna show you, mom and dad. And then there's this point in the career where you're like,

guess what, I have everything. And mom and dad still don't care. Right. Is that not true? They still don't give a s***. Me too. Me too. It wasn't that my mom just They still don't give a sh**. Me too. Me too. It wasn't that my mom just like,

we can tell something funny. I'm 51. My mom just recently is like, wow. Like where the hell have you been? Where have you been mom? You've been all these houses and like, but it's like just lately. It's like almost like when my dad died,

my mom got permission to somewhat be impressed with something I was doing. And it wasn't like that. Like in your case, maybe I was like, ah, he's like, almost like when my dad died, my mom got permission to somewhat be impressed with something that I was doing. And it wasn't like they, like in your case, maybe it was like, ah, he's still suckin'. It wasn't that, it's just like, my parents are just very simple, it's just like, are you a good person or not? If you're a good person, great. Other than that, we don't really care what you do.

My mom walked into my first really big house, and she's like, oh my God, Eddie, what's the electric bill here? Oh, no, no, my mom, if you have to worry about that, this is not where I should be living. That's the least in my worries. Right now, right? But it's not, it wasn't a negative thing.

It's just like, are you a good person? Are you being good to other people? Great. Other than that, I don't care about any of this external stuff. I think lately, my mom's like, oh, you're really helping some people. I went to the grocery store and they have your blah blah blah. And that's the one it's different.

Like that is the one thing probably with you too. Like someone else knows you. Yeah, exactly. And then they're like, guess what? You're pretty good. I think three people tell me you're really good now. Do you have that same thing? Say for mom, where have you been?

Oh, dear mom. I love you mom, but my gosh, like it's been a while. I know, kind of a big deal. I mean, why don't you think I'm a big deal? I just, I just think it's hilarious that you see, they still weren't like, you were already doing great and they're so like. Okay, I'll tell you a great, great story.

So I finally, my, one of my first greatest, my big job in show business, I get a break, I become a writer on Chelsea lately. Really? Wow, I think, this is it, man, I'm making $1,500 a week. We're moving out of the ghetto. Tom and I were living in the Rampart division in a one-bedroom apartment in the ghetto homie.

So when I got that first check, we went to Trader Joe's and we got a bottle of whatever cheap ass champagne, I've never launched it off the patio and be like, we're out of here, man. We're going back to Silver Lake. So never launching it off the patio. I'm being like, we're out of here man. You know, we're going back to Silver Lake. So, so I had to, yeah, it is down the street. Right, so glamorous compared to where we were. And I, yes, I tell my mom, I'm like,

mom, I'm a writer on Chelsea Leighley. She goes, you know what's interesting, Oprah, is having a contest to see who can work for her. And maybe you find something better. I'm like, this, it doesn't get any better. That's it. That's so awesome. Can't be happy for me.

Never. Never. No, but then you re- but then it's a long, even when you get the validation of everybody and everyone loves you and thinks you're the best and you finally get it. Yeah. And then you go, ah, is that all there is? get the validation of everybody and everyone loves you and things are the best and you finally get it. And then you go, ah, is that all there is?

Because, wait a minute, it's still me. I still wake up. Uh oh. It's funny. You're funny. You say that my dad did say to me, I'm loving that everybody gets to hear this by the way. One thing my dad is a wise dude, my dad, he's saying, he goes, just remember this man,

whenever you get to this level of success that you think you'll be happier when you get there or that house or like some whatever, some people reading a book or whatever your show or whatever it is, you just remember you have to bring you with you when you get there. And I was like, that's really because my dad had worked on himself in his sobriety, right? And he's like, you're going to bring you when you get there. There's nothing more true in the world than that. No. Still, I'm sure you still do this now to this day. It's like, that's still me when I'm there. It's still me in the car alone when I'm driving no matter what the car is or where I'm going It's me and how I feel about me of course

What I really believe about me but be speaking to your audience because I know for anybody listening to this I think the most powerful tool that changed everything for me was my mind This is everything and I know you know this because we've read the same books. Phyllis Stiller, I read when her autobiography, the magic of believing, the magic of believing. Read that book and I started to read that when I was like 28 and before that I had read existentialism in a philosophy class and what is that about self-determinism? You can choose your life. This idea is radical, Sartre, choose choices.

And I went, oh, you're right. Life can push me around or I can move the ball. And to me, this is the biggest lesson that I try to teach my boys. Hey, man, if you don't take charge of this whole thing, it's gonna take you away like a current, right? And they don't teach you this in school really. And it makes me nutty, like you can choose, everything is a choice, everything, and read it, read a book for, and it makes me sad over then, of course, the power of more, hello. That people that the reading is like,

guess what? Humans have existed for thousands of years, And we've had this luxury of writing it down. If you've got a question, it's in a book, not Wikipedia, bro, not this Google, the whole thing, homie, cover to cover. Focus, read, use your mind, this will save you. Why don't you write a book? I know, I've been, I've been, you know why? It's a lot right now.

I've got two kids I'm trying to raise in my husband's. And podcasts and stuff. It's a lot right out. I'm gonna, I'm gonna like, I will. I don't know about what? I don't know what. I hope it's this stuff. You think so?

I think this is, so here's what I think. Yeah. I think that like you've been given all these amazing talents and your talent has given you this platform where you are well known now. And I just feel like you could write a book about how you're funny or you could write a book about all that,

but the truth of the matter is, is you're like really, your, the guy was on my show recently said, you're uniquely qualified to help the person that you used to be. Oh man. And in your case, there's a version of you and me

and about 99% of the people that are listening to this. It's some version, maybe not to the extreme of having a parent who's schizophrenic like you had or an alcoholic like I had, but there's something where they just don't feel right about themselves or they don't have direction or they just, there's life have purpose. Like, what's gonna make me happy?

Why aren't I happier? And I think that like the, that's why it's incumbent upon us to always grow because then there's another person you can go help, the one that you were before you grew. So for me, that's why I keep working on me, is like, I wanna be able to help someone who, the one that was me when I was 15, the one that was me when I was 18,

the one that was me when I was 30, the one that was me when I was 40. I just had a guy in here that very, very successful young man at 32, well I had that too. And I also know that doesn't fulfill you. And I know when I'm looking at him, I know what he's really wrestling with this, is it worth it, like what will really make me happy.

And so I want to grow through that. And in your case, like you've had such an amazing, I knew within about 10 minutes of watching you that you've had a different life. I just knew because let me say something about you. People feel energy and like you can make me really something about you. People feel energy and Like you can make me really really laugh, but what you really do is you make people feel emotion Mm-hmm And and and you're doing it today There's a part at the end of her special everybody where she talks about this ketamine trip that she went on and

I want to go back and forth here, but It's one of the most I don't know why I really I want to go back and forth here, but it's one of the most, I don't know why that really, when I speak, sorry, I get emotional on this. When I speak, what I attempt to do when I'm speaking is to give people who I really am, but also not just one emotion.

I want to give them the gift of a multiple emotions and also like the contradiction on them. So if at some point I can have them crying and really thinking about their life and then wanting to run through a wall and Achiever in your case laughter and all of them I feel like I've done a service where I've moved that human What is incredibly rare to do is to do both in like one moment like in the same moment somebody's feeling reflection and sadness or empathy and also laughter. And this bit you do about the ketamine trip, I've watched, we've talked about different,

I mean, you have tons of friends in comedy and I have some, I've never seen that before. There's this, there's this moment in the end of your special where it's some of the most amazing art I've ever seen before because at the same time that people are moved so emotionally by what you're talking about and watching you be emotional. The next second they're laughing and then they're back to the Southern moment. So just a little bit give them the gift. I want them to see the special. But like, now they have a pretty good sense of what you went through as a child. I mean, they have 1% of it.

You have a pretty good sense. You've turned this around, which we'll talk about in a little bit too, and where your life is now and the lessons you've learned. But like, let's go there just for a second. So, tell them what happens. Oh my God. So, yeah.

So I fell down the stairs, getting to my kid, two in the morning. I just come back off the road I was so tired. I was like sleepwalking My baby's crying and as a mom, you know, you're just like I got my baby. Anyway, I fell down the stairs broke my ankle and four places and I had I didn't even know it at the time I thought I could just get up so I called my husband. I was like babe, good over here help me and he's like Oh, you can't get up You're called my husband. I was like, babe, good over here, help me. And he's like, oh, you can't get up. You're broken, homie.

So I get into the ambulance to put fentanyl, you know, all these drugs, they straighten me out. But before they straighten my leg out, they give me ketamine. I've never done it. Have you ever done it? I have, it's pretty amazing. You've done the therapeutic kind.

Yes. I want to do that. Because what they did is they give you enough to dissociate you so that you don't remember it. And apparently it's a terrifying amount that they gave me because that's what they're like. Usually people are screaming when they give this to you, but Christina, you were sitting there smiling all the time.

So anyway, so the give me this kind of mean. And I have this wild trip basically. And the crazy part is is that happens in real life and I'm looking for an end to my special. And I was like, oh, that's the end of the special. That's the end of the special because it was my realization that everything that had happened to me, I don't buy this s*** that it happens for a reason. I hate that. That's polyanna nonsense.

But I think if you attribute meaning to tragedy, attribute deliberately, then it's redemptive. And like also this whole ride of just trying to be a kind of successful comedian. And then I have my children. And then you're like, oh, it doesn't matter. I saw my kid's face is literally and you know, you make me cry oh, it doesn't matter. I saw my kid's faces literally, and you know, you make me cry, I just talked about it.

You know when you're like, oh, this is it. This is all that matters. All this other stuff can go away tomorrow. And my kids don't care that I'm famous. They don't give a sh**. And they're the only things that really matter my husband, the unit. Yeah, now you're getting me crime, man.

But I often think back to that ketamine trip when I'm getting hung up on nonsense, like show business. I'll be like, oh, but it doesn't matter. This is what I learned. Like, it matters. Don't give me wrong This is what I learned. Like it matters. Don't give me wrong. I don't want to be broke tomorrow. I don't want it to all go away tomorrow,

but I'm not going to stress out. Right. Right. Been there, dude. Me too. Yeah. I'm not going to try to claim, like I did. Because then you find there is a time in your career

where it's all you cared about. Yeah. It's a really difficult thing to teach because you should have goals and outcomes and it's what's made as successful when we didn't have some. At the same time, it's kind of letting go of an outcome and letting things come as they might

that actually brings us the most joy because the things that are the greatest blessings in life aren't things we have to force through force, like our families. They're the things that, you know, that are the greatest blessings are our children and our families. Yeah. They're the things that, you know, go to the greatest blessings our children and our families. And yet, you still want to be able to provide for them and do significant things.

But also think you said something. I want you to stay on that story is that it's not the events of our lives that define us. It's the meaning we attach to the event. You can attach the right meaning to something or a meaning that serves you. Or change the meaning. You can change how you feel about it ultimately change how your life works.

And it feels to me like almost in that trip you were on that the meanings shifted a little for you. Yeah, yeah, because I saw my parents and I was like, I can see this person as a big bad villain and I'm the little girl or, hey, what's the lesson here? Because I'm the mom now. And you see your broken parents as toddlers. I really see them as children now who just didn't get enough love, who didn't get what

I, well, what I didn't get to, but what I'm able to give my kids now. So I just flood people and everybody walking around. You know, I don't get mad at people nearly as much as I used to because you're like, oh, you just didn't get love. Like, oh, you, your mommy, your daddy. But you actually on that trip, like, thank your mom and your dad. I did. Tell them that a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

You have to see the bit for it to make total sense. But, uh, yeah, I end up thanking them and forgiving them in the trip. And, you know, I think, I, for some reason, I'm thinking about my mom's for coats, because she, she hoarded like jewelry and like fine items. I think she was convinced that World War III was coming soon and she had to, I have to trade these things to get across the border. You're going to need, you know, she, she wouldn't put her money in one bank. It was in several, like that kind of nutty stuff.

But now that I'm wealthy and I always words like rejecting wealth, I was always like rich people are bad. Me too. Yeah. That's why I was raised believing. And it's nonsense, because guess what, poor people are bad too. It's the same deal.

And actually rich people can do really good things to help a lot of other people. And your wealth is a blessing on many, many people. So anyway, the forecote thing too, I was like, yeah, what's so bad about owning a forecote? It doesn't make you a bad person. Right, right, it doesn't. Unless it's the only thing you care about.

Yeah, I'm watching you right now. I still think you're working through thinking about what all those events of your life meant, just as I'm watching you right now. I still think you're working through, thinking about what all those events of your life meant, just as I'm watching you. Oh yeah. I had a really huge blessing happen that I was with my dad when he died. I was in the room with him.

And it's weird that we're all this is going here today with you and me, but when I was with my dad in the room, I got to see, I got my version of the ketamine trip to some extent because when I was with him, I was literally holding his hand just a little while before he passed away, but because he wasn't able to talk, and he's just, it was actually wonderful, does this extent, I got to just look at him.

Like you don't even with your parents, you have a dynamic. There's like this thing you do with people in your life. You do it with Tom. I do it with my wife. We do with our kids. There's just like this pattern of how we kind of just interact with each other. Yeah. I don't know if you've ever done this with your kids or with Tom might be different with Tom, but you ever just watch your kids sleeping. Oh my God. like every night. Right, it's different. You see them differently. Yeah.

And even your spouse, if you just see them sleeping, it's just different. They're not talking, they're not being them. They're just them. Yeah. And my dad, I had these hours with them. It was just him. And I got to thinking about like,

I got to think about him as a little boy. This is a man whose life is about to end. Kind of like what you've done. And I'm, he's an old man now. And I remember him when he wasn't an old man. I remember him when he was, looked like my age, right? I remember when he was even younger than that. And I could go back and think of him.

I wonder, my dad at 10, my dad at 5, my dad at 2. And there's this love you can have even for someone who didn't treat you perfectly the whole time that you this sympathy or this empathy for them. And I just think he's just he's a man that had a life and he and he did his best to live it his best way. And then I start thinking about myself I will be him. What do I want when I'm him when I'm there? What do I want to achieve? To do I want to have helped what do I want to felt? Yeah, what emotions do I want to have had? What memories do I want we're off air? You're talking about taking your kids to if you're you know You're blessed enough that you could take them somewhere on a vacation and like

Being in that moment with my dad gave me a different meaning to him Give my life a different meaning and that's just a real powerful thing for everybody. Listen, this is like all the events, maybe you should evaluate what they all, the things that don't serve you. What do they mean? What did your divorce really mean? Right? What did this experience with what having your children really mean? What did this person who hurt you? What did it really mean? If you can change the meaning, yeah, you can really ultimately change how you feel and then you'll take different actions in your life. And when my dad passed, I literally, you're doing this. I thought, oddly, I'm going to honor my dad. I'm going to talk about it more. I'm going to talk about what I learned from. I'll

talk about how he hurt me, put it in my book. It's in my book, all my speeches lately involve my dad and in a very beautiful way You honored your mom mm-hmm in that special and your dad you started out by telling the truth But you honored him did it ever gone on you that you were doing that No, yeah, it's unconscious. No No, I think now you're starting on you because, yeah, I'm like, oh, yeah, I guess I know because if you when you create something, it's all really unconscious, you just kind of throw stuff out and then you hope there's a through line and like, what's that going to be in? I really, what I really wanted to express as well is honoring, I think, now that you mention

it, is just that I'm not, I don't hate you, man. I ain't hate you man. I'm not at you. Because the anger, we all go through it. And like I also, one of my pet peeps about the self-help movement is like, just be happy. Do the hobby. I say, look for the joy. It's like, no, and no, sometimes you know the suffering. And you did a great podcast about this recently. Yeah, about the suffering that must come in order to have the joy. Yes. The suffering.

And I just didn't want to leave people thinking like, I'm this rageful adolescent because I'm really, I'm not mad at them anymore because once you become a parent, you're like, oh, okay, yeah, they got it. Me too. I'm mad at my dad sometimes. Yeah, but sometimes, yeah. There's, I'll think of something. I'm like, I can't believe he did that to me in some situation. But my overall view of him isn't that way. My overall meaning. Yeah, but sometimes there's I'll think of something I'm like I can't believe he did that to me in some situation, but my overall you of him isn't that way my overall. Yeah. Why do you think by the

one ask you some stuff? Yeah, go ahead. It seems to me that you have a great marriage has been a long one. Yeah. Right. And I watch you talk about I watch stuff close. I'm weird. But I watch you talk about Tom. And after all this time, you really love him. Like you really love him. And I love the jokes you make about football and food and sex and all that. It's hilarious, right? But like you really love him. And you seem to be like an unbelievably dedicated mother.

So you come from a crappy marriage of your parents. You come from crappy parenting from your parents, yet you've become the opposite of that. Did you like, did you like, think this is what I don't wanna be? Yeah, and I also think it's not healthy who I am actually, because I think my shrink would be like, you're just doing the opposite of what they are.

I'm living in reaction to. So like, thankfully I made wise choices and I've made good choices, but like maybe that maybe this is over-shooting. Am I too perfect? Am I trying to be too perfect? I don't know, but yeah, part of that is going like why get multiple divorces? Because guess what? Most of the time, most of the time, both my parents ended up marrying some version of the first one. Yeah, that's the truth.

Same person in a different body, so most people date and do in their life. Yeah, so you guys didn't do any work in between these marriages, because nobody went to therapy, so like why trade up? Why lose half your money? And then,

How long you been in therapy? 12 years. And as you think it's really helped helped you because I think a lot of people out there think I'm not gonna talk to somebody because it's embarrassing or there's a stigma or With the heck is some other normal human being gonna help me out with my stuff with but it's worked for you, right? Yeah, well is it an embarrassing? Yeah, is there a stigma? Absolutely will people think your nuts sure? Well your family think you're a complete idiot and will people talk crap to you about it? Yeah, who cares? They're not in my head. F'em. And that's nothing you get in therapy is you go like, oh wait, why am I living?

Because nothing when my ketamine trip taught me is that this is it bro, this is this is it. And I'm 46 so I'm on the other end of the of the hill now. So it's like When are you gonna start living? When when are you gonna when are you gonna do it for you? Mm-hmm and like a therapist a good therapist knows the map your friend doesn't know the map out of your own nonsense. They know the map let let the let the captain take you I agree right totally I also think that's why I like listening to something like this. This is a form of therapy for people to learn.

Oh, for sure. You're helping, I think you kind of know you are too. I'm watching you. You're helping millions of people work through some stuff and you may not be the same situation, but it can apply. They get wondering too. So now you become, the other part of you is you become this like incredibly successful person and you're married to an incredibly successful

person. It sounds like you guys are great parents. Is it, I've asked this a lot on my show because it answers very, does it, is it worth it? Like you're well known now, like you're well known, you're show. There's a lot that comes with all that too though, right? There's like a momentum you don't want to lose. Yeah. Do you worry like this could go away?

And what's it like to now be real too? What's it like to now be on the other side? All these years of Crack and Open Champagne, I got 1500 bucks away from Chelsea Handler, right? All the years of you're making nothing in standup, nothing, right? And then you just, you know, this is life is happening. And like you're like, well, I'm 30 now and I'm 35 now. And I'm blah, blah, blah.

Like I'm wondering like now that you're kind of on the other side of it. Is it worth it? And do you worry about losing it? Yeah. Is it worth it? Apps are **** lily. Yeah. You know what? Don't listen. It's a hard man. Williamson say this. Being a winner is that's a better

problem to have than not being a winner. Do you know what I mean? Like, oh, I got a problem. I got a state of successful. Great. What a great problem to have. Right. And like the I remember when I wasn't successful and I didn't like that feeling way more. Me too. So the thing of like, how can we keep this up? Like, it won't last forever.

That's the nature of my business. That's okay. We're making it rain now. We're putting it away now. I'm investing and when everyone's sick and tired of me, I'll go away. And it'll be so freaking super-spective. Yeah, like, okay.

But I love it, man. Listen, I suffered for many years to get here. And my rise was slow and steady. I did not have the overnight thing. So that was a blessing. You're in a quitting? Yeah. Weekly. Well, you're a standard comedian. It's the hardest. It's the word. It's like literally you're the you're the best or the worst or the best or the worst

It's the push pull right? That's why I'm so it's sickly Charged by it because it's your it's your alcoholic parent. It's your borderline mom. I love you I hate you. I love you. I hate you so I'm I'm I'm wired for this yeah And then I'm like I don't want to do hate you. So I'm wired for this. Yeah. And then I'm like, I don't wanna do it, forget it. I'm just gonna stay home forever. I'm gonna stay in Texas and just, you know, fish with my kids all.

And then I get, and then I get an itchy beehole and then I gotta go tell jokes again. Speaking of itchy beeholes, just so you do a little bit of something in the special, just tell them what a Milwaukee milk shit is. Tell them, tell them. Okay, what's the bit? Now I got to remember.

Do you remember? So, I'm sitting on the toilet. You're doing number two. I'm drinking, I'm drunk. Okay, I'm taking it down with my toddler sitting on my lap. Bonus points if you breastfeed at the same time. That's the, come on man. That's the bone walkie-mochi.

Come on, you got a dog staring in the eye. It's dog staring at me. Baby on your lap, your breast feeding. Yeah, and that's the That's how I take a dump. Come on. That's legit right there. That's truth, right? It's the truth and then the part what's it mean to tell you some my wife doesn't get comedy Yeah, so we watch all these specials. I'm like because I love it and I take her to different clubs And I mean she didn't even think blesses heart. I took her to Norm McDonnell Then I'm crying laughing and she said I just don't get it I'm like what is wrong with you? Right like yeah, but you

Deal were like the bit you do on where like okay, we don't I just pull my sweat pants down down I'm not a sex. I mean she was legitimately falling off the couch crying laughing And I'm like I don't know what you're laughing at cuz you don't relate to any of this Just so you know I don't know what you're laughing at because you don't relate to any of this. Great for me. You know, but I'm not trying to sell everybody on seeing your stuff, but I just think it's like, I think it's just absolutely the best. I think you're my favorite. Gosh, you're my favorite.

You're my favorite. I know, you don't handle them very well. You should come and see me perform. I want to do that. I'll give you guys some free tickets. Well, that'd be good because I can't afford those things. I want to, I got a couple more things to ask you about. Yeah, I'm just writing it down so I don't forget. Yeah, okay. Yeah, please invite me. I want to know a little bit about how you are now as like a mom. So, first of all, you don't have a kid's

number one. And then like, are you, a lot? Do you do you allow yourself to like enjoy it? Are you always like, am I doing the right thing? Like I could be asking when I was raising my kids, I was constantly like, that didn't do that right. I didn't do that. That's good though. I'm not she's a really good mom. I'm like a half ass dad. Like I'm always like not even really good enough at it in my own mind now. And now mine are leaving me, but I'm curious as to what kind of a mom you are now. Yeah, so I over-correct a lot. We don't, I don't have what looks healthy at all. Like, what do you mean?

Like, because I didn't, I grew up so severely weird in the sense like, okay, we're foreigners, we're Hungarians. And then I'm a living alone with my borderline mom or I'm living alone with my dad. And so I'm literally like, I don't, I remember watching movies with my husband and having to ask him, why did that person react that way in that movie?

Like what feeling is that? Yeah, and he's like, well it's because she was mad. And I was like, hmm, like I didn't understand a lot of dynamics. So I've actually had to learn to identify right feelings and like, I sound like a sociopath but I'm not. It's just that I have a hard time feeling feelings. And then no reference point.

Yeah. So I ask my husband a lot, like, is this normal? How did you guys do this growing up? So I check in with him a lot about the kids. Like right now, um, kids are cursing a lot. I don't like, I probably shouldn't let them say that word. That's not good. So I lied it.

I told my little one that the word, Dornet is the worst word in English. Like, Dornet. Yeah, and I'm like, Dornet. Anyway, I over-correct. I'm done having kids. I'm like, don't it? Yeah, and I'm like, don't it. Anyway, I over-correct. I'm done having kids. I'm too old to have more, and I'm too exhausted. But yeah, I worry that I'm doing it wrong every day.

I don't know what, I know what I wanna teach them. I have thought about that. Like, what's the goal, dude? Is it to make you a good student? Hell, no. We all know that. The most successful people, they're not straight A students.

And especially in today's world with academia, like it's a different environment. Yep. So like, What do you want them to have? Failure feelings. Let's try that first and foremost, resilience. You get up.

I just started my six-year-old skateboarding, take him down to the skateboard park, because he's a wild man. and I'm like, let's put that into something, you know, like find what you're good at Forget what you're not good at. I wish someone had told me earlier my parents had the wherewithal to be like, hey, you're not good at that Don't worry. You're not gonna be an opera singer. You're not gonna be a gymnast Effort. Why was I trying so hard to do stuff I couldn't do? Really good advice. I agree with you. God. There's so much stuff I'm not good at.

I would have just checked the box for me early. I'm not going to work with my hands on cars. I'm not mechanical at all. I can't do math and science. None of that stuff. That's all off the box. My scope is pretty limited. You might as well get pretty good at this stuff over here.

You get two or three things. I agree with you. I want my kids to be super confident, but have humility. For me, it's a little different for the confidence. Some of their confidence comes through their faith to some extent. I don't want them to have. I want them to believe that. But the biggest thing is I also want them to be really good communicators. Yeah, that's the point. I think it's hard to get through life if you can't communicate. I don't think it has to be spoken word. It can be written word, but to be able to express themselves, you said feel communicate. I don't think it has to be spoken word, it could be written word, but to be able to express themselves. You said feel things, I agree with that,

but then I was able to express it. I think thinking too. Oh yeah. This need to be. Independent thinking. I think that's the rarest thing on the planet right now, don't you, with all the programming? Forget about it.

And the scariest part is that this younger generation who is endorsing the policing of other people's thinking and speaking, talk about dangerous stuff. Yeah, wow. They don't even know what they're blowing apart right now. Yep. They're so indoctrinated. So, yeah, thinking.

Your industry is the most under attack for that right now. Woo! It's like independent thought and expression. Is it ever? But can I tell you I think we're coming to the end of it? I sense that there's enough comedians pushing back and Thank God for Netflix standing behind Dave Chappelle Because if Chappelle goes down really we all go down. I think yeah, I used to head of the head of the committee

There's a hierarchy. I didn't know that. Oh Dave Chappelle. Yeah, well Well, yeah, there's a few big ones, right? You know Joe. Oh, Dave Chappelle, yeah, well, yeah. There's a few big ones, right? Right, Joe Rogan, Dave Chappelle. Yeah, I certainly hear those names a lot lately. I heard Rogan's gonna start a podcast. We awesome, I bet he'd be pretty good at it. He should try that out. He should try that out.

He's a clever guy. Yeah. He adapts. What advice, let's go through a couple things. Sure, I'm enjoying today so much. I don't want to end that's what I want. You don't have to. What advice would you give through a couple things. Sure. I'm enjoying today so much. I don't want to end that's what I want. Me too. You don't have to.

What advice would you give to somebody right now? I was like, hey, I'm meat or end or my child are in a dark place. You know, I'm not happy with my own life where I've got a child who's really struggling with just dark, unhappy, you know, why should I do anything? Type thoughts. The teenager? Yeah, anybody, if it could be a person listening to this too, just themselves are 33 years old.

They're a mom with two kids. And they're like, I'm not as happy as I thought I would be. And I'm just not feeling like I wanna feel. That's a hard question, but I'm wondering what your answer would be. Oh my God. Yeah. Well, for the teenager, I mean, really at that age, all I wanted was for someone to put their

arm around me and go, what is it? What is it? Me too. Yeah. What's going on? Are you all right? Yeah. Because I think that's just what they want is to be heard and seen and, right?

Wouldn't you've loved it if some adult? Thought about that exact scenario, Christina, a lot. Wish someone would have just said, hey, are you okay? Yeah. You think all right, and it'll be okay. Well, when high school doesn't last forever and you'll be 18, you'll get out of this house and you'll go on.

Man, I do wish that. Yeah, also what I really resent it as a teenager when I was like, goth and weird is like, oh, you think you know everything. Oh, you think you ought to so smart, like the anger projected at me instead of like, something's wrong. I think I sent something's wrong, are you okay? Empathy, kindness, love.

Yeah. Would have been better received. Agreed. What about to the person the grown up older one? Yeah. Man, get your ass in a therapy. And especially now, I mean, I know you do ads, I don't know if talk space is one, am I going to plug anybody? But it's so ex it's so accessible. And it's on such a scale. It's not just for elite You know bougie people in Beverly Hills. It's for everybody. Yeah, you just have to talk don't hide don't isolate That's what you want to do when you're depressed is right isolate each of your feelings whatever your feelings

But the dark if it's really dark man Talk to someone right like even if you have a good friend, as you can say, can I just tell you what's going on? And oftentimes for me, just talking out loud and hearing myself think out loud is almost as valuable as what any therapist would say back to me. Not as valuable, you should go see a therapist. But if you're not going to do that, just talking, even like this Yeah, I kind of said some things that I am surprised that came out of me Did you it all yeah, and now I didn't think we'd go this deep. Yeah, I didn't I didn't go this team I like it though me too, and I like to say some stuff, but I'm like hey, I think I'm gonna think fit through a little bit more after we're done

That I said are you gonna edit it out? Is it matter like I'm gonna take anything out of here. Yeah, I feel like I Think it's super rare that two people who outwardly appear to be successful, whether we are or we aren't, right? Like, just like have an hour or two there go, man, I went through this, I went through that. This is how I did it. That's what I did.

It's like a very rare thing. This, what we're doing right now, and I don't mean to be rude, you got an unbelievable podcast, Joe does, I was kidding. It is unbelievably rare that two people that have outward success of some type, go, hey man, let's just keep it real for an hour. Right?

Here's how screwed up I was, here's how I used to think, this is what I did. Because I, for me, let me say something. You know what, my 14 year old butt could have really used, or my 22 year old butt to listen to this today? Seriously. If I were driving right now and I had a 14 year old,

be like, just listen, it's gonna be, it turns out everything's gonna be okay if you do some of this today. Seriously. If I were driving right now and I had a 14 year old, be like, just listen, it's going to be, it turns out everything's going to be okay. If you do some of this stuff, like had I had this right here today, what you and I are doing, I don't want, wow, I'm not alone. I'm not totally crazy. Turns out other people are hurting too. Other people don't come from perfect houses. Other people struggle with their thoughts. Other people have pain. And there's a couple things they did to work through it. And guess what? Both of them have produced pretty cool marriages, pretty cool families, pretty cool influence in their life.

So to me, that's incredibly valuable what you're doing here today. And I don't know, I've heard a lot of your stuff. I've never heard you talk about any of this stuff before. Or something like this. So I've heard you joke about it. But I haven't heard you talk about it in depth like this before.

So I'm like really, really grateful for it. Yeah, maybe I should start talking about it again. I did for a minute and then I got, I don't know, I got over it. I think I got like, you know, where you're just like, I don't know, I'm done talking for now. So maybe I'll go back to it. Well, here's why. Most successful people, I talk about this in the book.

Most successful people operate now currently out of their imagination and their vision, not their history and memory. And that's a formula for bliss. Like, you're now, it is hard because like you are building a beautiful family that you have dreams for and visions for and you have a career that you have a vision and a dream for. And so it isn't easy when you operate out of those creative places to go back and go, okay, here's what it was. It's painful. It's like, and to us, it becomes routine. Yet my vision and your vision and your dream for your show or your career serves like three people today, right? So in this sense, having history and memory is what serves people in our own lives.

And this is such a huge distinction. I don't spend almost any of my normal life. Do you think about history memory? And what I'm in therapy I do, but my day to day is what's my vision for the show, what's my vision for my business, what's my vision for the book, what's my vision for my dreams,

where I wanna go, what we wanna do with our kids and our family, that's where I spend my time. But in order to serve people, I work out of my history and memory from time to time. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. You and Tom aren't sitting around every single day talking about when you were nine years old. It comes up, but you spend probably most of your time, what are we doing with the kids? What do we have for the show? Where are we going to do this? Where are you touring? What's the new thing we're going to create? Of course. That's so good. That's a no course for me and you. Yeah.

But I think oftentimes when people get too much into self help, they think this is where you live. And this isn't where I live every single day. Maybe this should be in the beginning of the show frankly because it's an important lesson, right? And that's probably why you're tired of talking about it because you don't spend the time there. Yes, because there's a time in a place to regress and to feel and to get sad and to

cry about your childhood. And then that's why therapy is only 50 minutes, not even a full hour. And your shrink is like, all right, bitch, get back out of the world. Go do it. Yes, I'm crying and go get after it. Yes, and I agree. I think there's a time for feeling. And I think we're in a lovely era that celebrates feelings and introspection.

However, let's get on with it now. However, let's get on with it now. Right, let's get on with living. Let's get resilient again too. Let's get a little kick in the pants. Come on kiddos, enough crying, right? Yeah, a little tough love is okay too. Yeah, because the truth is you got where you are because you've just worked your ass off at it.

Yeah, don't. And like, you know what makes me crazy too? Is everybody's like, I'm being like you know it makes me crazy too is everybody's like I'm being you know What's the word I'm looking for Can't remember where I discriminated against and and everybody's everybody's so hateful now and this and that and you're like Oh, no society's great now 20 years ago when I started to stand up comedy Do you think anybody wanted a hero girl tell jokes? No, society's great now. 20 years ago when I started stand-up comedy, do you think anybody wanted to hear

a girl tell jokes hell to the know? And do you know how many people told me I would never succeed? Have any club owners told me I wouldn't succeed? There's an entire chain of clubs in Canada that wouldn't book me because the owner says quote, I don't book women. That's how crazy it was.

Whoa. Yeah, so it's like, I don't know. I also feel like anybody listening to this, like you're capable of whatever the hell it is. If you're obsessed, go, dude, go. Don't listen to everybody. You're not victimized. I don't believe in this victim. Shit.

Well, since you say that, because like, we're talking about, my, not, no, it's 50-50. I was gonna say all my favorite, most of my favorite comedians are women. Now that's not true. It's about 50-50. But I do think about people like Whitney

and Nikki Glazer and yourself and Margaret Cho. I love this part. I love this part. It's the tiny little Asian lady who did the stand-up special pregnant? Allie Wong only my BFF I love her so much. I think she's unbelievable. She's amazing. Allie Wong is the bomb right? Like I just I just I think more and more I was like wow like maybe it's that I'm a little bit older too but like for me having an appreciation for like the women's

perspective and how funny it was and the Milwaukee milkshake and these other things that stand out. Let's be honest, I've watched a whole bunch of Netflix specials all the time in different comedians I go. I've DM'd one person in my damn life and said, I want you on my show, which was you. How long, a couple of last things? How long did you go in comedy or entertainment in general

before you had a big financial breakthrough. I just want everybody to hear this because they're sitting there going, hey, I've been an entrepreneur for two years and nine months. And I am still not a millionaire. You know, don't you think, like people's time frame of like how long it's, how quickly it's supposed to happen? Like, hey, Matt's been, you know, it's only like 30 months

and I'm like, I've thought by now we've finished. I know. How long were you doing from the, I know, it's the million, like, you know,'s been, you know, it's only like 30 months. And I'm like, I've thought by now we would be finished. I know. How long were you doing from the- No, it's the million, like, you know, Gary Vaynerchak, obviously Gary. Yeah, I know Gary. I did a speaking engagement with him, said. Oh, yeah, I know Gary. I love Gary, because he's got that Russian dad, you know. Yeah. You know, he's always like, you gotta take,

you know, he's always talking. It takes time. Yeah. Okay, bro, it's a marathon. Yeah, it's a marathon. Anything worth doing. How long was your marathon? Okay, I'll tell you. Okay, so shoot. Let's see, I start doing stand-up, I'm 26. I mean, literally probably the Chelsea lately, era. My last day job was 2006.

2006 was a day job. Meaning, I worked with it. You had to do something else in addition to comedy? Literally, so I worked at... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, really? Yeah, so I think so, hold on. Wow. I'm not even, that's not even accurate.

I bet 2010 is when I become a headliner, so 2010. But by 2000, no, I'm sorry, I'm not wrong, 2009 or 10. It's when I first started making money. And I start in, oh, I started at 26, so I'm all in my, I don't know, I can't see, but about 20 years ago I started. That's insane. Yeah, long time to be broke,, 20 years ago, I start. That's insane. Yeah, long time to be broke, dude.

Yeah. Literally, I'd work a day job. I'd work 10 hours, eight, whatever, 12 hour days, and then go to the clubs. That's just to learn how to do stand-up in LA. Then I want to become a feature act. That, you take the leap of faith and you get a crummy job that lets you take off weekends when you can't get the work and now you're featuring in Florida or wherever. So the last job I have my day job is like 2010.

It's at the Girl Scouts of Greater Los Angeles. I'm featuring from time to time. I'm on Chelsea lately on the round table, right? So I get a spot. I was so broke, I had to go to the store and like check out clothes is what I would say from like these nice, you know, like $100 shirt and I leave a tag on.

Take the tag on. I wear it on Chelsea lately, return it immediately because I couldn't afford it, and then go work at the Girl Scouts the next day. Oh my gosh. So, yeah, so people will come in and be like, weren't you on Chelsea lately last night? And I was like,

and now I'm working at the Girl Scouts. That's freaking crazy to me. So you're on the E-Channel on Chelsea Show. Yeah, as a round table. With a shirt you're about to return the next day. Yeah. And on the each channel on Chelsea show. Yeah, as a round table with a shirt, you're about to return the next day. Yeah. And go back to work. And like so because you

spent so long not financially successful, do you worry now it's going to end too soon? No, because Tommy and I have been very responsible with what we've done with our cash. And like it's an I believe we've invested it wisely. It's it's it's accounted for we've always been when we had two hundred dollars we were always responsible with two hundred dollars.

I love that so yeah, I say in every marriage there's there's savers and spenders right yeah your marriage is toast if you're both spenders. You might have a chance to one's a spender and one's a saver but if you're both savers, you'll probably be ending up okay. You don't have no matter how much money. Because same thing, always like, I made 200 bucks, like 12 bucks when I do a mutual fund or something. It's like, yeah, always did that. Well, was that rich dad poor dad?

I'll never forget where he was like, always pay yourself first. Always pay yourself first. And that's the first time I'd ever heard that. I was like, oh snap, yeah. It's really, really good stuff. Put that into something, man. I, I, um, I knew this would be really good today, but I didn't know that we were gonna go this deep,

nor did I know that you're gonna be willing to, I don't know if you call it vulnerability or not, but like, like you just, I really believe that when people go see you, most of them probably already know you, but when they go see you and then they hear the actual story of your life and who you really are, I just think it's unbelievably inspiring.

There are people that say inspiring things. Very rarely do you encounter someone who's like an actual inspiring being. Oh, my goodness. And when I met you, when I saw you rather, I thought this is an inspiring being. I have this radar. It's hard for someone to inspire me anymore because I've been so saturated in this space,

so to speak. I saw you, I went, that's different right there. That's different. She's special. And you confirmed it. Actually, you extended it to me today. Really grateful for you. Thank you. I really appreciate you seeing that. I really appreciate you seeing it to me today. Really grateful for you. Thank you.

I really appreciate you seeing that. I really appreciate you seeing it, seeing me. Mm-hmm. Because I think it's like, it's game-recognized game, homie. Thank you. You know, if you've been through it and you've come out of it, you see one of your comrades and the same with you when I started listening to your podcast,

I was like, oh yeah, dude. He's been there and he's out of the darkness. I want everyone to go follow you. By the way, her podcast is freaking hilarious. Oh, good. Both of them, but like the one I've listened to the most is your mom's house. Like it's just, by the way, it's not quite as clean as it was here today. Everybody.

So just want you to all know, and neither is the special like you just need to prepare for some adult sensitive topics. Yeah. But like, where do you want them to find you anywhere? Like, yeah, I love Instagram. I'm at the Christina P on Instagram and then go to ymhstudios.com for all our podcasts. So ymhstudios we brought out to Austin.

And we have five different podcasts that we operate out to Austin. And we have five different podcasts that we operate out of Austin. There's two bears, one cave with Birdcrisher and Tom Sigerrand. My husband, Danny Brown just got his own show. I have where my mom's at. And there's like Tom Talks, Dr. Drew after dark. And it's just a fun, it's a place where we can say what we want, like much like here, you know. And if you want to still experience an alcoholic at work, you get bird-crusher.

So, a shirtless one too. A shirtless, hugely bear-looking human that's hilarious as well. Like, their stuff is just the best of the best. I'm really grateful you did this today. Oh, I'm so happy we did this. And you, you helped lots and lots of people, including me. Want to have you back on when you have another special on? Yeah. And I do want to come see you perform. Yeah, please do.

Man, you come see me speak though. Oh, I would love to. Yeah, I would love that. I wish you would do a little bit of that. I know. I think I think maybe maybe we'll get something cranking on that. Let's do it. Because you could reach so many people with your story. Anyway, go check out mom jeans. You guys Just trust me. As long as you make sure you're ready for some adult humor, make sure maybe I don't know, do you want a five-year-old watch in there? No, no children. No children. Adults only, please. Please share this, you guys, this episode today. I really feel like if you know anybody who's trying to move out of some form of pain in their life, that today's show is the show that they should be listening to and that you share with them because you're just not going to get to people talking about this stuff very

openly, very often to this extent. So anyway, love all of you. Continue to max out your life. God bless you. This is the Aton Mylethal. This is The Edon Myletch, shall.