THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Damar Hamlin Given A Second Chance In Life: Faith, Football and Fighting Back

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

What would you do with a second chance at life? Damar Hamlin's story transcends the world of football, marking a pivotal moment not just in sports history but in the narrative of human endurance and divine intervention. Damar collapsed on the field during an NFL MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL game in January 2023. He went into cardiac arrest after taking a blow to the chest during a tackle. The world held its breath. But his story was far from over. Through a miraculous recovery fueled by quick action, unwavering faith, and a collective outpouring of support, Damar's life was saved, and his purpose magnified. But Damar’s story doesn’t end there. Because eight months later, Damar stepped on the field once more to play the game he loves. In one of the most profound conversations I've had on this show, Damar opens up about his extraordinary journey back to the field and how his brush with mortality has reshaped his outlook on life.  Here's what you'll uncover in this incredible episode: Damar's firsthand account of that fateful day and the miraculous series of events that led to his survival. The instrumental role of faith and prayer in his recovery The emotional moment of communication with his family after regaining consciousness Navigating the waves of notoriety that followed his recovery and the challenges of being thrust into the spotlight. The profound mix of emotions experienced upon returning to the field and the internal transformation that ensued. Insights on dealing with imposter syndrome and the universal quest for authenticity and purpose. Words of wisdom for those facing their darkest hours, sharing the light of hope and the power of perseverance. This is one of the most uplifting and faith-based stories you’ll ever hear. If you wonder if you can overcome the odds in your own life, look to Damar and his example, and you will undoubtedly be INSPIRED just like I was. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Transat travel moves us this is the end my show all right welcome back to the show everybody so the man that we're gonna talk with today is very important man to me. There are not five people on planet earth that I would rather speak to today than this young man. And my dream list for people that would be on this podcast, he is at the very, very top of the list. Because he's a story of resiliency, faith, strength, comeback. And you all know his story. On January 2nd, 2023 with about five minutes and 58 seconds left in the game against the Cincinnati Bengals. My dear friend here,

tackled wide receiver T Higgins who was running with the ball. He hit Damar and in the chest with his helmet and Damar made the tackle as he always does and he got up after that tackle, stood up for a second and then collapsed on the field and in that moment our country was captivated and literally hundreds of millions of people were in prayer for this precious young man. I don't know that I've ever said this and meant it more. I am so grateful that you are here today and welcome to the show, Demar Hamlin.

Good to have you here, brother. Man, thanks for having me. I appreciate the intro. You've talked to some of the biggest and the best across the road. So to be in that top five, I actually wanted to talk to, it's an honor. So you know so to be in that you know top five that you want to talk to um it's it's you know it's an honor so i'm glad to be here glad to believe i i'm not sure you're not number one

um i just use a little wiggle room there but i have to tell you and the reason is is that i just believe in some strange way damar i know this sounds crazy to start the show with it, but I almost feel like God blessed you with this opportunity to express to people things that really only you are qualified to express. So without getting into every single medical thing that happened, we're gonna save that for an incredible documentary that he has coming out with my friend Bo Flynn sometime hopefully this year. But take us through your recollections of that moment, the game. I'm sure it was like any other game for you, but was there, what are your recollections

of that moment if you have some? Well, first, you know, definitely, shout out the boat. You know, that's my guy. That's really my guy. You know, and I mean, you know, just leading up to the game, I remember it was a it was a it was a very big game. You know, and that's that's that was the the lead of everything. You know, it was for the number one seed in the AFC.

And, you know, that was all that was on my mind. We had the number one seed at the time. The Bengals were the number three seed, but they had, they won the tiebreaker with the Chiefs. So if they won the game, they would go to the one seed. But I wasn't worried about any of that. I'm just worried about, let's get this one seed so we could finish up the regular season

and then get a bye week. It was my first full season in the NFL. So my body was season in the NFL. So, you know, my body was like, you know, super banged up. I'm making 10 to 12 tackles a game, you know. So I'm like, let's do whatever we can to get this bow week in the playoffs. So, you know, all week, I just remember a great week of practice. I was super motivated, just like every other week. I'm locked in. I like to trust my instincts, but you don't get to use those instincts

if you don't know what's going on in the game. So, I'm a super student of the game. I watch a lot of film on my own time. I dissect notes that my coaches give us. And I was super locked into the game plan for that week. And the atmosphere was set. It was the most watched game on Monday night football. And like you said, it truly feels like a blessing from God.

Yes, in a unique way because the platform that, my platform that he's magnified, because all the work that I'm currently doing was all in vision already. It was all in processes already. I was just in a small space planting the seeds already before everyone was paying attention. But I always had big visions and

big goals of working myself, whether it was through hard work of a long 10-year career of having success in the NFL and then having this platform, or if it was by the grace of God, seeing that I was one of the soldiers on the frontline, really doing good work. And he hand picked me, he hand selected me. He brought me through some traumatic things, you know what I mean? But he used me, he truly used me. He brought the world together in love and prayer. Man, I have people that said they were atheists

that have never prayed in their life. You know, that told me that they got down on both of their knees and prayed for me to, you know, see another day. I mean, I don't know what's more powerful than that. You know, I don't know what I would have been able to do in my life to have an impact on people that would have had that much meaning. You know what I mean? Because that meaning right there is a lot bigger

than just football. That meaning is a lot bigger than just accolades and just trophies and even bigger than the ultimate goal in football, which is to get a gold jacket. I think to truly have non-believers take a second to where they see the man that's created this whole life all because of me. And that's that that right there. It truly makes me feel special.

It truly makes me feel touched. And you know, I'll be forever indebted. But I'm continuing on to do to do the work. What a great answer man, what a great answer. A couple things struck me about that game, I was watching the game and obviously prayers for you, not really knowing what had happened but knowing something was really serious. Speaking of faith, I'm sure you've at least watched the playback a couple times but but one thing that struck me, because we're going to protect some things for your documentary, but one thing that struck me was

no one had an answer. So, well, this beautiful young soul was laying there. No one had an answer. Coaches didn't have an answer. The officials didn't have an answer. We'll talk about Denny Kellyton in a minute. Thank God he had an answer. But even the TV broadcast, remember they kind of threw it one point to Booger McFarland and he's like, I just don't know what to say but to pray. What was interesting to me was that situation that God used you in. It seemed to me, I'd like you to speak to this because I'm sure in reflection you've heard this from other people, the players were very emotional, so everyone knew something was

really serious but it's interesting when we get to the end of our own understanding in life in other words we were at the end of our own ability to understand what did everybody go do they went and prayed players on the field people in the television studios people at at home. And it was almost as beautiful to some extent example of our acceptance of our own understanding of events. We almost have to surrender and have faith in those moments that everybody, as you said, from every walk of life seemed to reflect and just say they were praying. Do you ever thought about that part of it that one of the examples of it is just we don't understand what's happening here and so we sort of surrender to something greater than ourselves.

Yes you know and I learned that lesson early on in life you know is when you don't know you have to give it up to God you know and you you have to use faith and you have to use hope and you know faith doesn't work if you don't do if you don't do the work as well and sometimes the work is praying you know so that's that's a common ground that you know as people that we all kind of have had an understanding of you know some have you know relied on it more than others but you know i think it's fundamental um force it for everyone you know know, to truly grasp that, you know, and when we don't understand things, pray, you know what I mean, and go to a higher source. And even when you do, you know, we never do, you know, even when you think you do, still give it up, you know what I mean? That's how I've always kind of lived my life, you

know, a lot of things would stress me, the journey of just being a young kid, having a dream, having a goal, and no one in my community ever reaching or achieving or coming close to this goal. So I didn't have the proper guidance. So that gap of not knowing if I was doing the right things the right way, if I was doing enough, if I was doing enough, if I was doing it the right way, or if I, you know, just all along the lines of going enough and what it took. It created a lot of confusion in my world and it created a lot of anxiety because, you know, I wanted to achieve just success and making it to the NFL and being able to take

care of my family and being able to take care of my family and being able to give back to my community. It created a lot of anxiety within those spaces because I wanted to achieve my goal so bad. So the only piece that I found within that space, you know, was doing my research, you know, having idols, you know, having people that are already doing it at a high level how I wanted to, you know,

maybe just they weren't in my personal life to be able to show me. But you know, the biggest thing that I relied on was, you know, my prayer, you know, my faith, you know, giving everything up to God because, you know, God is all knowing he's all understanding, you know, and we don't we don't have the answers as much as we assume we don't have the answers. So that's what I've been relying on you know since a young kid you know a very young kid. Just figured things out. You also though, you also relied Demar on another one of God's children or a team of them and in our lives people you know I think you would agree that God will send people into our lives that can literally alter them. I'm sure you knew,

I think Denny's the assistant athletic trainer. I'm sure you knew Denny before. I doubt you, and this other group of people, I doubt you ever thought how important they would be at some point in your life, but why don't you tell everybody about him and I assume your gratitude for him and the other people that really intervened in the moment where you needed them the most. your gratitude for him and the other people that really intervened in the moment where you needed them the most? Yeah, well, you know, I knew how important our training staff was to my career. Obviously, because, you know, without the training room, you won't be able to go perform how you need to go perform every given day. You know, I go in there every day and I get stretched by Denny before we start our meetings, before I go eat my breakfast. And, you know, that's kind of our moment. That's kind of our alone moment to one another.

We don't really say too many words during that stretch period, but it's just the comfort going through something so traumatic together. And it's just a moment that I appreciate every day and it just allows me to reflect on how far I've come. It's a crazy experience. I have a truly appreciation for the entire Buffalo Billsburg organization because from the second I walked

into the building, they've treated me world-class. They've treated me like a son that they have truly cared about and specifically to my athletic trainer staff, you know, I definitely want to give everyone a shout out. You know, we got Denny, Denny Cullington, we got Nate, to Bonnie, Marissa, Joe, you know, they truly all had a hand in, you know, being my care team, you know, and making sure that, you know, I can keep showing up every day into the building. So I have a super duper special relationship with them.

And sometimes on my downtime or off days, I'll just go sit in my trainers, sit in Nate's office and just read a book. You know what I mean? And just and just that's my alone time. But, you know, the training room is truly a safe space for me within the world, you know, not even just my building. You know know I truly feel my safe is you know when I'm in Buffalo and I'm in that training room with my trainers because you know they experienced life with me a little bit differently so I'll be forever indebted to them as well

yeah so it's reported everybody that Denny you know issued CPR to Demar when he was on the field. And it's been reported that Demar was in cardiac arrest during that time. And this is the most fascinating thing about you, brother. So as the story goes, you kind of wake up a little while later, a few days later, tell everybody the first thing you say to your family when you wake up. Think about this, this man's life was potentially ending there on the field that day and he wakes up. Do you remember what you said to everybody first? Yeah,

well I didn't say it, I wrote it out because you know I had breathing tubes in my mouth. I wasn't even speaking yet probably for like another few days. That's another story, you know, ending up pulling my own breathing tube out. But I, yeah, I was a warrior moment and I was trying to get back. But yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't speaking yet. So, you know, I wrote it out and I asked, did we win? That was the first, you know, that was the first thought that came to my mind. I had remembered that I was playing in the game, and I was unsure of how I got out of the game and how I got to the hospital

and how I'm just in a hospital bed. But just that competitive nature and just that me thinking about my brothers and the people that I line it up and go to war with every day. And like I said, I knew what was at stake walking into that stadium. You know, I wanted that number one seed because I wanted to get that bow week in the playoffs

and, you know, play two more games and go get a Superbowl. So, you know, the first thing I asked was, did we win? And it was just pretty much me just, you know, that's just my competitive nature. Me thinking about the people that I put blood, sweat and tears into the game about, and you know, just me caring about my peers and my team. So, hey guys, as you know,

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For instance, there's the sneaker peeker who darts their eyes between the road and their texts. There's also the I got a ticketer looking upset because he just got a ticket for using their phone while driving. What about the fast scroller who can't drive five minutes without updating their social feeds? Or the nightlighter who has that mysterious glow illuminating in the inside of their car after dark we've all seen them does sound familiar doesn't it

if they remind you of yourself or someone you know rethink your behavior before you find yourself becoming the fender benderer the veering off the rotor or worst of all the driver who killed someone put the phone away or pay. Paid for by NHTSA. I want to ask you this. So first off that blows my mind. Not how did I get here? Not what happened? Not am I alive? Am I in heaven? You know where am I? It's did we win? I just want everybody to hear that just for a second right? I mean that gives you an idea of this man's character. At some point, and by the way I'm glad that you cleared that up because I think you're on a ventilator for three days, weren't you? Three days?

Yeah, yeah. A couple days, three days. Yep. At what point do you, walk us through this, everyone in life, you went through, Damar, you went through, you know, ultimately everybody's greatest fear, right? And their greatest fear for their child. Now I've read a lot about your mom and dad. What an amazing family you come from and and the way that you were raised and that, you know, Damar was always known, you guys, as just like this giving, kind, good person. In fact, Damar, I should tell you this. I won't say which teammate it was, but I had a house for sale before this happened and one of your very well-known teammates was looking at buying one of my houses and believe it or not, before this happened with you, your name had come up in conversation with me. And we were talking about, you know, because I said to him, I said, you're such a good guy.

He goes, there's good dudes in the NFL, man. There's good guys everywhere. And he ended up naming three guys on the team that were the good guys. And you were one of the three names that he gave that day. So I'm just curious, when did you figure out what happened? And then what is that, what's that moment like where you eventually wake up and you go, oh my gosh, I'm sure at some point it dawned on you or someone finally explained to you what happened.

What does that feel like? Does it feel like it's a movie you lived in? Does it feel like it didn't really happen? Is it shocking? Like, what does that feel like in those moments? Well, you know, my mindset was kind of, you know, as an athlete and you know how I was raised, my mindset was, you know, always, you know, whatever we go through, let's find a way to get through it and let's get to where we see ourselves being in the end. So, you know, to where we see ourselves being in the end. So, I figured out things through my family,

through my doctors, through my peers, through my friends who were there. And I actually had a kind of like a back and forth argument kind of with my dad in the hospital when I was kind of like starting to get back to myself a little bit more because, and he was 100% right by explaining this to me, but, you know, I wasn't there for, you know, everything that they experienced of the situation. So I had to have a respect for it. You know, I had to learn and get a different perspective for the situation, even

outside of my own perspective, even though I'm the one that's going through it, I had to respect everything that my mom and my dad just experienced by just even seeing me like that. So that was a journey in itself right there. But I learned through just seeing her, just seeing her and, you know, I was, I couldn't turn the TV channel where I was seeing myself on every single channel, literally one through 56.

So you know, actually I found the love for motocross. I found the love for motocross. I actually, you know, I learned a lot about the sport, you know, for seven days. And, you know, it actually takes a lot of skill. It's not easy. It's very dangerous. It's a lot of it's a lot of bicycles and a small track. And, you know, that was the only thing on TV that I could watch without having to hear about my situation, which is why I explained the relationship that I learned with motocross because, you know, I couldn't turn left or right without having to run back into it. You know, even

like you say, man, three days or whatever. I truly haven't, you know, I truly haven't revisited all the details, you the details of my situation directly, just because it still feels so so to me. And like I said, as long as I'm focusing on the part of understanding the blessings that I received and understanding the responsibility that comes off of it, my main concern right now is just being thankful know, being thankful every day, you know, to be able to just be able to take that deep breath, man.

I take 10 deep breaths before I get up every day just to keep myself grounded and remember, you know, where new life started for me. You know, so yeah, just being able to remember, you know, the blessings that I received and knowing the responsibility that comes with them. I've just been letting that lead my focus. And I know there will be a time down the line where I truly, truly, truly, truly, truly wanna know more and I want more answers and they're there for me.

That's why I say that that training room is truly a safe space, because I can walk in there and I can have in there and, and you know, I can, I can have a conversation of knowing direct more details whenever I want, you know, but that's, that's my main focus right now, you know, staying, staying, staying focused, acknowledging, you know, the blessings that I received and the obligations that come with them. That's interesting to me that it's that fresh, you still,pping for the interview because you know the event happens and in your life it's every day of your life but for the average fan they go on with their life but they never forget that moment. I mean like I remember what happened when you

know I'm old enough which is crazy but I remember you know when 9-11 happened I remember where I was when the OJ11 happened, I remember where I was when the OJ chase happened. I remember where I was, I remember where I was when the incident happened with Demar Hamlin. I mean, it's one of these like handful of moments of my life. I remember where I was. And, but when I was prepping for this, I mean, everybody that's a casual, kind of a casual fan, when I was prepping for this, it blew my mind. This was barely a year ago. This was barely a year ago yeah this was barely a year ago for some reason to me I was a couple seasons ago and everyone that's a

casual football fan let me just tell you how remarkable this man is he played in the NFL last year he got back on the field and played in the NFL he played five games last year are you I mean we're gonna get in all the details of everything but cardiac arrest on the field, he was resuscitated. This man comes back and plays football in the same calendar year. Like first off, how remarkable is he and how good is God? Right? Like absolutely amazing.

Literally. Okay. Say that to you, tomorrow. Are you like, what in the world? Even when I say that back to you, is that part of you? Like, I can't believe that. I mean, like, you know, it's, I live it every day and I know how hard it was, you know, to actually do it, man. I remember just all the emotions of everything just kind of hit me and I was just crying tears driving up to a football camp, you know, because I had, I've had

a thousand emotions, you know, running through, you know, I was scared. I didn't want to go through everything I went through once again. That was never my main focus because you can't move forward focusing on the negatives, but it's the reality of the situation. I had emotions. I had fear. I had anxiety. I had all of those emotions, but I seen, like I said, the obligation, and I seen everything that I was standing for, and I knew how my journey of just continuing on, it inspired so many people across the world, and it still does till this day.

And to be able to stand for that, and to be able to be the example behind that was more powerful to me than the negative emotion of the fear and the anxiety and things like that. But it does sound crazy to me. If you were telling me this story and I was unaware, I would definitely be like, no way. There's no way somebody did that, especially a contact sport. And then like, you know, people touch the stove and

realize it's hot and won't ever do it again because they know what happened to them, let alone someone, you know, redoing the same thing that took their life away. Right. So, you know, it's, it's, it's literally, literally one of the most inspiring real life stories of all time. There is no way that night watching that football game, had I told everybody watching that game tonight and if you hadn't seen it you can go YouTube the clip or whatever, but I was gonna tell you and I said to you in this calendar year this man will be back on a football field tackling somebody again. That is, if you

wonder in your life if you can overcome odds and adversity, if you can come from a low place and climb back, you need to look literally no further than this guy right here. Literally no further. And that lesson you just said about, you know, the dream and the hopes of what you could do for other people was greater than your fear. It's such a great formula to overcome things in our lives. I got to ask you this though. I mean, if you don't mind being a little bit personal, that first tackle you're out of practice, the first tackle, right? That first time, you had to have some trepidation about that, right?

There had to be some part of you or is it just like I'm back? So what I've always done, I've done this 2 billion times, or was there, was that next tackle slightly different? Yeah, you know that was That was how I anticipated my mindset being like I'm back and you know, it won't be about anything But uh, it was the furthest thing away from that So, you know, it was a journey like I said man going up and going into football camp I shed in tears driving on the road because of, you know,

felt like, you know, there was nothing in my life that made me face my fears like that. Nothing in my life made me face my fears like that right there. But, you know, getting into the first time I hit, what I did do a good job of with my trainers was prepping for every moment, you know, and even down to, you know, when I first decided to play meeting with, you know, our upstairs and just getting the right, just getting the right rehabilitation in, in, in place, you know, getting the right therapist, you know, being able to make sure that whenever we get to this position in the fall or training camp where I'm tackling and doing all of this again, you know I've already had the proper steps to lead me up to it the right way so with my trainers you know we were practicing tackling you know kind of through all the off

season throughout the summer even before you know we got into pads and when we got into pads the first day the off day before that you know I was out there with my trainers you know tackling dummies and doing things like that just to kind of to prep it in but um you know, I was out there with my trainers, you know, tackling dummies and doing things like that just to kind of to prep it in. But, you know, once I got into the field with my teammates, before I could even make a tackle, you know, my coach sent me on a blitz in practice the first day I passed. He sent me on a blitz the first play, you know, I love my coach, you know, I love it, you know, I love the mindset, you know, I love it, you know, I love the mindset, you know what I mean? Like, let's see what I got. But so, you know, it sets me on a blitz. And, you know, the lineman went down and I kind of came way too free, you know, and every time that you

come free like that, there's going to be a line coming around and hit you right in the ear hole and try to throw you off to the field and to the stands. So, you know, I came down and I seen that line and go down really fast. And I'm like, OK, something's up. Something's wrong. I'm in the backfield way too fast, way too free. So here comes Dion Doppins, you know, our one of our best tackles. And it just air holds me and I'm doing everything I can to like anchor my legs. So I just don't go flying. You know what I mean?

So that was like the first that was my welcome back to football moment right there. So, you know, that even before tackle, let me know that, you know, if I could withstand that right there, I'll be okay. God gives you an ear hole tackle for the first time you get contact. But my first, my first tackle tackle, I think was in the preseason game. Um, and you know, my mindset was, no, game. And my mindset was, God got me. God got me. I'm also here with the people that saved my life.

So if worse comes to worse, they got me as well. And just once you cross those lines, that was the best part about it all. I would really have a lot of anxiety on the sideline, you know, maybe two yards of getting onto the field. But you know, once I actually took that step and were on the field and it's down set hut and whistles are blowing and people are running around, I'm just playing football again. I was free.

And you know, that was a beautiful feeling. That was a beautiful feeling. And it just, it made me remember how much I appreciate my teammates. Because you know, the people that you're out there playing with, I underestimated how much that you truly do it for them and that you truly, you know, have to bring 11 people together as one. And you are not out there alone.

That was the biggest thing. Even though I went through this situation, I wasn't, I'm not out there alone. It's not one versus the other team. I'm out here with my teammates and we're all trying to do the same job together to reach a common goal. So, you know, man, I've always been a team player and I've always, you know, loved to, you know, put the team's needs and the team's goals ahead of, you know,

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slash MyLet that's spelled B-A-B-B-E-L dot com slash MyLet. Rules and restrictions apply. Brother, this is just an unbelievable conversation. I just have to tell you, I'm sitting here. I appreciate it. Do you know Inky Johnson? Do you know who Inky Johnson is? I do. I actually do. Yeah.

Yeah, he's a good friend. He's been on the show a couple times. Anyway, he was sitting in here with me just a few weeks ago. I just have to tell you, I think Inky's one of the great speakers in the world, if not my favorite. He's also one of my favorite people. Yeah, and a lot of you may not know this, but Inky was playing at University of Tennessee. He was gonna be a first-round pick, took a hit, lost the use of his arm, couldn't play anymore. And he's paralleled that into, I'm just telling you right now, once football's over a decade from now, whenever you're done playing, you're gonna be one of the top motivational speakers in the world. I can already tell from watching you right now, once football's over a decade from now, whenever you're done playing, you're going to be one of the top motivational speakers in the world. I can already tell from watching you right now, you're

going to change millions of people's lives. By the way, this interview is going to change millions of people's lives, and you'll use this clip in your sizzle reel when you walk up on the stage and speak, but I got to ask you this, just specifically, how has it changed you? How has the experience changed you? Clearly, you were a guy of faith before. Yeah. But you don't go through this exactly the same on the other side.

How has it changed you? Yeah, you don't, you really don't. It's changed me in a number of ways. You know, the first ones that stand out to me is, like I said, the obligation that comes with the blessings. So, you know, realizing that, you know, it made me want to clean up my life. It made me want to appreciate, you know, first and foremost, it made me want to appreciate my health.

So, you know, just cleaning up my life, you know, healthwise, getting getting proper sleep, you know, getting proper nutrition, you know, things that you already do as an athlete, but, you know, kind of prioritizing them on a different level. It made me appreciate my family a little bit more, made me appreciate all of the free things in life, you know, it made me appreciate family, made me appreciate love, made me appreciate peace. It's made me more emotional. I cry more. I cry more now, you know, than I ever had. And that's something a guy named Murphy Jensen,

I'm a tennis player who dealt with cardiac arrest. He told me that it did the same thing for him. And you know, me being me, being me, you know, I haven't really been emotional since I was a young kid so it was it was real surprising to me as they like started to creep up on me um but it's something I've embraced you know because I just have a special way of appreciating life now um it's changed me in a number of ways you know that's a question that I would definitely want to deep dive like dive deeper into because I've adjusted

a lot of my life. But one thing about it with the new platform and the world wanting to pull me in a thousand directions, I'll continuously always bring it back to my faith because I wouldn't even be here without it. But it made me truly focus on my one relationship with God and allowing that one relationship to sort out the other ones, to truly allow me to let me know who should be in my personal life, who I should do business with, who I should have my fun with, who I should do things for, who I shouldn't. I've allowed that one relationship to got all my other ones.

And that's what truly allows me to have peace because I didn't have it for a while because, you know, I was still trying to do for everyone in my past. I was trying to do for people that I felt like I owed, you know, I was just all over the place. I was all over the place every which angle. So, you know, once I truly focused on our relationship

and I asked that one to sort all the other ones, everything kind of got smoother. You know, and I talked with, you know, obviously a real profound safety, Ronnie Harrison. And, you know, I told him that same kind of story. safety, Ronnie Harrison. And I told him that same kind of story. And he told me, like, he was so happy to hear that that was my focus. And he told me how I take it to the next step is I try to implement that into my teammates.

And I try to implement that into the locker room and try to have that same effect that I'm having in my own life and other people's lives. So that was just real powerful to hear, you know, just from, you know, someone older. I always respect, you know, the people that came before me and I love advice, you know, so that was just real powerful to see that, you know, even when I can take it to another level. I don't know why I'm crying, but I'm crying. I'm not sure why this moment's got me that way. I appreciate you. Yeah, appreciate you. Man, you got me right there.

Sorry about that. You know what I'm curious about is, do you have any imposter syndrome about all this? You know as my platform grew, more and more people started listening to me. You know, I was like, man, if they knew how much of this stuff I'm still working on trying to figure out me you know I was like man if they knew how much of this stuff I'm still working on trying to figure out you know everyone's looking at me for advice and I'm still trying to figure out this or that or the other thing and it took me a while to accept that God will use my imperfections and the things I don't know and the fact that I'm more like most people than not to connect me with them that I don't have

to be I don't have to have every answer I don't have to know everything um I finally can you know dawned on me that it's okay but all that I'm not perfect you know they don't have it all figured out is there any part of you that's like God why me like I mean I'm still I'm in my mid-20s I'm trying to figure all this stuff out myself is there is there any part of you that feels that way or do you just accept the anointing and the calling and you go with it? You know, um, maybe two times over this last year in two months, have I ever decided to like, you know,

let myself have a feeling of why me, um, you know, it's natural, you know, it's, it's super natural. And you know, a lot of it came with football because I truly loved the game of football. You know, football was truly my piece away from the world. No, I would go to practice. I would have so much going on in my personal life in college, like arguing with girlfriends and dealing with class. And I'm probably arguing with my parents about something.

Just being a young college kid, Like my whole entire life is chaos, but I come to practice for these two and a half hours and I am at peace. I feel like I'm sitting at the beach listening to the waves, you know, while I'm at practice, because I truly love the process of getting better. You know, but to have that snatched away from you, you know, and then have the space where you truly had your peace, and now you're facing your fears in that space, and having to overcome that whole feeling, it was something that I really had to work for.

I only asked myself why me maybe two times and the whole time, and then I would always just correct myself. And, you know, I understand why, you know, I truly know that God seen me as somebody who was, you know, doing his work, you know, I was out here. And I don't I don't mean to say that like I'm the most spiritual person in the world or, you know, like, I don't remember the last time I showed up for church on a Sunday. I don't remember the last time I showed up for church on a Sunday. You know what I mean? Just my personal life is busy. I have a lovely church that I do go to back at home in the Keys Rocks, Pennsylvania.

But you know, I don't remember the last time that I showed up to church on Sunday. So I don't want to even seem like I'm this perfect person or I was this perfect person. You know, that God just selected me because I was above all else. And I'm like, you said, I'm more like everybody than I'm not. But, you know, I was truly doing right by people. I clapped for others while I waited my turn.

I learned from the people before me. I supported everyone. And I truly let my heart walk into every room before I did, with no expectations in return, you know, with no expectations in return. That's just because of how I was raised, you know, and I was truly a kid that, you know, I found God within my own personal life, you know what I mean? I grew up, I grew up a Christian kid and I went to a Catholic high school, you know, and it was like, you know, within that journey, I had to figure out what this relationship meant to me. Through that process, you know, I truly developed my own relationship

and I formatted all of the goals that I want to accomplish my life off of that relationship. And, you know, I tried to never ask myself or let myself get the perspective of why me because I know why me because I was doing the work and I was moving right by people and who better than me? And I don't wanna take credit away from no one else, but I don't know if anyone would have been able to handle the situation like this. So, you know, just thinking about that.

Yeah. By the way, you're right. I think the other thing, you know, when you look at God's work in hindsight, it always usually kind of lines up once you look at it. The other thing that's really obvious to me tomorrow, I'll just tell you, is that God chose somebody who could be a great communicator of this message. He chose a guy who's really good with words. And not only are you good with words, but when you say things, there's an energy transfer, there's an impact, there's an emotion when you say things that's rare.

When someone's gifted with the athleticism you've been gifted with and clearly the IQ you've been gifted with to also have the ability to communicate on the fly like you do is a very rare thing and it's clear that I really believe that you were chosen for this. I just really do. I have to tell you as a parent, I watched a conversation your mom had. Your mom was at the game and was trying to get to you as I understand it. Is that correct? Yeah she was it. My mom and my dad. Yeah I'm just wondering, I asked you how it's affected you or changed you. What about how it's affected the people around you and their lives or even the way they interact with you.

I'm wondering, I mean obviously the attention you got is crazy. Every athlete and famous person in the world's talking about you all the time. But I've, you know, you know this when you're a college player it's one thing you get to the NFL the world changes around you a little bit right? Like just the way the world responds to you is different. When you're not well known and then you're famous. When you're poor compared to when you're rich. So I have to imagine when you're alive and then you're not for a few minutes and then you're alive again that the way the world treats you might change a little bit. Has it changed a little bit the way the world reacts to you? Yeah, definitely, man. Um, you know, the first,

the first way is, um, people are touched. Like people are truly touched. And like some people, like people see me, they just want to hug. Like people see me, they want to, you know, tell me a little bit about their story or, you know, somebody that they know or how they were affected or some things that they're going through personally, you know? So people are touched in all kinds of different ways. And, you know, even outside of the situation,

people see my mission, you know, people see the mission that I've been on even greater now. And that's a part of the blessings because within my immediate family, nothing has changed. My mom, my dad, me, my brother, we're all still the same people. This hasn't...my mom and dad, once I decided to play football again, they're like, okay, this is what we're doing and this is what you decided to do and we're 110% behind you. Like whichever way it was, there was going to be 110% behind me. So my parents haven't changed a bit.

They're on my back just like I was in college. They're not cutting me any slack. The expectations aren't different. If I still come home and I spend some time at my parents' house, I'm going to be taking out the trash, doing dishes. I'm going to be vacuuming the living room floor. So my immediate family, thank God that everything is still the same there. But it has caused a little bit of trouble

within friendships and things like that to where some people feel obligated to be around me more. Or it's all over the place. I try to not focus on it, but when it's the personal people around you that you grew up with, that you wanted to be spending the rest of your life with, that you thought would be in your wedding, it has a little people around you that you grew up with, that you wanted to be spending the rest of your life with, that you thought would be in your wedding. Um, you know,

it has a little bit of effect on you, you know? So, but, um, you know, the people that truly love me and love me with no expectation behind it are all still in my life. They're all still the same people with me and we're enjoying life. You know, we all have a different perspective and a different appreciation for life for shortly. and we're enjoying life, you know, we all have a different perspective and a different appreciation for life for sure. Are you 25 years old, Demar? Yeah, my birthday is in 20 days, 19 days today. You guys, you're listening to a 24. You're listening to a 25 year old man with this much wisdom and perspective.

If you ever wonder if you get something for your pain in life, one of the things you get when you survive temporary pain in your life is you get some type of insight, wisdom, talent, skill, thought, relationship. God gives you something for your pain. Clearly, he's dosed this man with the wisdom of 80 years on earth. I mean, it's just unbelievable. And I want to kind of tap in. We only got a couple more minutes, brother, I want to tap into that wisdom for a second. Somebody who's going through, they're on the bottom right now, right now in their life. They're like man I'm down right now. You know I just, nothing's working out. You know, my business just failed or I just broke up with my relationship or man just nothing I've done has been clicking for years.

I don't feel good about myself. I'm down. And this may sound like an interesting metaphor, but they need sort of a life version of CPR to get back up again. They need some life breathed back into them. Literally. What would you say to somebody who's just down right now and wants to make a comeback? What would you say to that person who's struggling with that right now? First thing I would say is, man,

you can't conquer the world in one day. So, you know, just take yourself out of that big perspective and see how you can take one step and put the right foot in front of the left foot. You know, something I've heard a while is you can't sit in the pool of pity, you know, so even when you feel that feeling of, you know, you want to harp on your your situation or your circumstances too much, get up and move. Like literally, I mean, get up and move, you know, so you can get yourself out of the film

before you get sunk too deep into it. That's the first way I would say just, you know, to deal with the emotions that come off of your situation. Don't allow yourself to sit in it, get up and move. And don't think you can just know that you can't conquer the world in one day. So wherever it is you want to be, you know, you got to take it step by step one day at a time. You know, I knew that I had to take it step by step one day at a time. I couldn't worry about, you know, trying to suit up and play in the playoffs again, or I would have drove myself crazy. Literally, I would have drove myself insane.

I had to know that it's gonna be a journey. And even through this season that I just went through, you know, people deal with ACLs and don't come back in the time period that I did, or any other injuries that don't come back in the time period that I did. So I know it's gonna be a journey. Even when some people return off the ACLs,

they're not their same selves that first season out their back. They need time. They need steps. They gotta put the right foot in front of the left and they gotta walk the journey. They gotta go through the ugly phases. I feel like I just went through an ugly phase

this whole season. You know what I mean? But I'm super proud of myself. So go through the ugly phases. Don't be afraid of it. Embrace it. That's the biggest part of it all. Focus on taking one foot in front of the right,

go through the ugly phases and just continue to try to get better one day at a time, one step at a time and write down what you feel is necessary to accomplish what you want to get done and then follow it. Make no negotiations with yourself whenever you set the plan out. Like if you say you're gonna do certain things

at certain times or with certain people, make sure you do them. You know what I mean? Hold yourself to a different standard and accountability so that you can get out of your situation. You know, you can't get out of a situation doing the same things that put you into the situation.

So, you know, that's like insanity, doing the same things that put you into the situation. So, you know, that's that's like insanity doing the same thing and expecting different results, you know, and I'm kind of I'm kind of, you know, preaching that message to, you know, a lot of my personal friends in my life, you know, who are no, they complain about certain things or they bring certain things to my attention and then, you know, they keep doing the same things. I'm at the point where it's like, you know, if you're going

to keep dealing with the same certain type of things, don't even tell me because like, don't don't sit up here and just waste all my time. When you okay with accepting the same things, I got you where you are. If you want to get yourself to a different situation, you got to do different things to get different results. This show is brought to you by BetterHelp and I'm really grateful that it is because I'm such a big believer in therapy and I actually love the way BetterHelp does it. You know therapy has a wide range of usefulness in our lives. We've got something really serious that's

bothering us, we've got anxiety or depression or we're just down. Therapy can help but you know what if we even just have things we want to talk out loud about we just want to work through. Sometimes it's just about hearing ourselves talk to another human being. Therapy can help you there as well. There's a wide range of reasons why just being introspective and working on yourself with the help of a professional is really worthwhile. And I love the way BetterHelp does it because you can do it online. If you don't vibe with your therapist, they'll switch one out with you immediately and you can get a brand

new one. Visit betterhelp.com slash ed show today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp. ed show. That's my perspective on it. That's so good. I brother, I'm just sitting here going, you got to be kidding me. It's so good. You know what you are? You're a great perspective giver. Just who you are going you got to be kidding me this is so good you know what you are you're a great perspective giver just who you are I gotta tell you today was a particularly not great morning for me and I was talking to my daughter and I said she goes how you doing today daddy I said I'm I'm not having a great morning Bella I'm not having a good day and then we hung up and I was kind of just

re, I've been so excited about this interview for so long. It's kind of like re-preparing a little bit. And then I literally said to myself, I just, everybody hear this for whatever you're going through. I said, really? You're not having a great day compared to what the day tomorrow had on January 2nd, 2023 in that moment. That's a bad day compared to me. I might a couple of meetings, not go the right way, right? And this man was in front of millions of people, literally fighting for his life. Does it give you a perspective brother,

like when you're having what was used to be a bad day, you're like, well, not compared to, like compared to what, right? Do you ever have that thought? Does it give you perspective on that? Man, every day, every day to be honest, you know, there have that thought? Does it give you perspective on that? Man, every day. Every day, to be honest, you know, there's no day where I can, you know,

allow myself to get too low anymore because, you know, I have the appreciation of life. You know, so no matter what's going on in life, just to still be here is a bust one because we all know some people who are not. And we all wish that we could have some people still with us. So no matter my situation, I'm able to allow myself to appreciate something. You know, it's hard to appreciate everything, you know, especially when, you know, for the people that are listening,

especially when, you know, you're going through situations where your emotions are rising and you know, you're feeling whatever you're feeling the most, but I'm always able to bring myself to appreciate at least one thing, no matter what it is, no matter if it's the ability to still play football, because that could have been taken away from me. No matter if it's, you know, just appreciating family, my little brother, my mom, my dad, you know, no matter if it's just, you know, appreciating a deep breath man or appreciating wherever I am in the world,

you know, if I'm in California, if I'm in at home, if I'm anywhere in the world, you know, I always bring myself to find at least one thing that I can appreciate and it shapes your perspective differently. It really does. Wow. Brother, I love you. I'm two things I got one last question. One I'm grateful for you. You as well. Thank you for this. This was therapy. Good well me too and millions of people. The second thing is I just as a brother I'm proud I'm shoot I'm getting I'm just very proud of you. Very proud of you. You're uh, you're remarkable. Alright, a football question because it'll be pissed if I don't ask. So are

you free agent? No. Okay, so you're on a contract? I'm with the Buffalo Bills. I'm a Buffalo Bill. Okay, because I read something today, Bill's Mafia, I read something today, you know what I'm gonna ask you about. They were like, hey I wouldn't mind ending my career playing for the Steelers, right? Is that an accurate quote my career playing for the Steelers. Right. Is that an accurate quote? Like I just make you awkward. I asked you, I didn't push you too hard on what happened on the field. So I got to like, is like people want to know what's going to happen with this young man. So we know you're, you're a bill, but is there a little party? The eventually would love to finish up with the Steelers or you want to be a

bill for life? I want to be a bill for life. You know, that's the team that truly took a chance on me and gave me opportunity you know to show what I can do you know I'm a late round draft pick throughout the whole entire draft you know I watched my name sit as the first name to best taken you know for like two three rounds you know and I'm just like will I ever get my opportunity? You know, I knew I had what it takes, you know, but, you know, opportunity,

like preparation doesn't always need opportunity. I was prepared, but I didn't know if the opportunity was gonna come. So, you know, the Bills, when they selected me, you know, I was, I was, I felt so blessed, you know, and I didn't know anything about Buffalo. I didn't know anything about B's Mafia at the time. But, you know, it didn't take long for me to for them to show me exactly who they were.

And, you know, for me personally, and then during my research as well, just seeing how they treated their players, how they treat other players on other teams, you know, like donated $80,000 to other people's team, like to other teams foundations. Like it was, it was just unbelievable of like the support that Bill's Mafia has for the players of the Buffalo Bill. So first and foremost, I want to clear all here. I want to be a Buffalo Bill for life. Cause that's the team that took a chance on me. I want to be a Buffalo Bill for life. That's the team that took a chance on me. When I answered that question,

I answered it from the perspective of, a childhood perspective, a kid that grew up his entire life. Like I told you, man, I had the dream for a long time. I had the dream for a long time, just making it to the NFL and just being able to have an opportunity to take care of my family and give back to my community, something that I didn't have as a kid growing up, you know,

so that was always my driving force. But, you know, as a kid, you know, like playing the game, always creating myself as a stealer and I always, you know, played the game like that just as a kid. So the question they asked me, I answered it from a childhood perspective. And then I also answered it from the perspective of, no, I don't want to play for the Steelers right now because I'm a Buffalo Bill. You know what I mean? Like I'm still under contract with the Buffalo Bills. And then on top of that, and then on top of that, you know, I spent five years at the University of Pittsburgh and I shared the facility with the Steelers. That's how I built a close relationship with them.

And then, so that's college, five years. And then four years of high school where we had championship games at the stadium. So I've had my fair share of time there. How I answered the question was, it would more so be a dream to finish career, then to be playing now, you know, and I'm and I say that I said that likely because, you

know, you see players all the time who have career, they'll have like an eight 10 year career with this team, and then they'll go play for this team for X amount of time. And then when they finally retired, they'll go send that $1 contract with the team that they felt most connected to and then retire with that team. So, it was a lightly answered question

that kind of like super stirred up social media. But to be honest, even through all the chaos of it that it caused, I'm just super excited to finally see people excited to see me play football again. You know what I mean? That was a great feeling. Above all those, above all the chaos it might have caused, that was just a great feeling.

You know what I mean? I dealt with so much, you know, controversy and, you know, like just craziness all year long. Just it just if if I needed to if I needed to be playing, if I was just all of a sudden just this trash player, if I just was never good at football and I'm only famous for one thing and this and that, you know, so I went through a whole year of that, you know, and, you know, just chirping, you know, I don't allow none of that to enter my inner matrix,

but, you know, it was super exciting to see people, you know, excited to see me play football again. So like, no, it turned me up a little bit, man. It made me go harder in the gym. It made me go harder in the gym those days because, you know, I'm excited for them to see what I've got in the tank too. I am as well. Take it easy on the Patriots. I'm a Patriots fan. I can tell you this is the greatest, this is please do that. This is the greatest comeback story in the history of sports and he is the most inspiring person in my lifetime in sports, and I'm so incredibly grateful that this conversation even exceeded my hopes and dreams for it. I rarely get emotional on the show. I think I'm emotional because it affects

me, but I've also got emotional tomorrow through the conversation because I've done enough of these over the last decade to know when we're doing something that's going to affect so many people's lives and that was 100% you're doing today and God working through you. So I love you and I'm very very grateful for you and thank you so much for being here today. And I love you too. Thanks for having me. Like I said, this was like therapy so you know I appreciate it. You coming on. I appreciate it being here. Yeah, so grateful. All right everybody, I I share the show, share this episode please and continue to max out your life. God bless you everybody. This is the Ed Mylan Show.