THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Define Your Own Success w/ Gabrielle Reece

Episode Date: July 21, 2020

Your ability to change, grow, and adapt in every area of your life will determine your measure of success! Author, athlete, mom, wife, and Nike’s first-ever spokeswoman is here with us on The Ed Mylett Show to share how she has been able to define success on her own terms! She is a New York Times bestselling author, professional volleyball legend, Co-Founder of XPT - Extreme Performance Training, and the host of the Gabby Reece show. She has been able to achieve success in so many areas of her life by chasing fulfillment over happiness. I’m so excited to bring you the knowledgeable and beautiful powerhouse, Gabrielle Reece! Juggling family, business, fitness, and friends isn’t for the faint of heart! So what's her secret to success? With her father passing away when she was only 5 years old, and the instability bouncing between living with family friends, Gabby breaks down how she used her childhood experiences to fuel her ability to be a great mother, wife, businesswoman, and friend. In this electric interview, Gabby shares her secrets from how she, and husband Laird Hamilton, show up to WIN in both their family and business and how that translates into wealth, wellness, and successful relationships. She even reveals why she tells her husband, “Don’t treat me like a wife!” We also get REAL about business. We discuss how to know if it’s time to pull the plug on your business idea and how to leverage recurring revenue. Gabby even breaks down her military-grade underwater weight training workout and how she uses her training to develop muscles that help her succeed in EVERY area of life! “I don’t have the balls to go against the universe,” Gabby says. “I’m just a good steward of opportunity.”

This is the AdMirelet Show. Welcome back to Max Out, everybody. I have a really unique woman on today's show. And you guys are going to love this. Most of you know who she is, but hopefully we're going to use some aspects of her life and personality that maybe you're not as familiar with, but hopefully we're doing some aspects of her life and personality that maybe you're not as familiar with, but she's an author, athlete, she's got, she's a host of the Gabby Reeshows,

kind of gives you an idea of what her name is. She's a mother, she's a wife, she's an entrepreneur, athlete, first ever, I think female spokesperson for Nike, I think, that's right. Hey, you're going deep now. Hold on to your mother first, so Gabby Rees, thank you't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

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I don't know. I don't know. I don their life. So as you know, I've had people from all different walks of life on here. You're unique. And the reasons I think today people are going to be so fast is because you've really done that even though you've got a ton of humility and you're funny and you're going to, I love you kind of dry, self-deprecating sense of humor that everybody tells me about. But you've done that in multiple areas of your life. And so, it's got to be some secret to some of your success. So let's talk about it. You ready? I'm ready. You already looked reluctant.

Like you're even like calling me here. I think it makes me reflective, you know, because it's like, you know, when you want to answer questions based on where you are today, not the one that you, you know, you've spewed out a hundred times. Yeah. And I hear that. I'm like, oh, I wonder what that is, you know.

So talk about that just really quickly, because I want to spend most of the time in the current you. OK. But I was reading about how you grew up. It's not normal, right? I don't know what, you know, like I always say, I always wanted really like no joke, like leave it to be ver normal, because I grew up in sort of what

would be perceived as not normal now that I've lived enough time, long enough time, then you go, okay, what is normal? Because maybe you can relate to this, you know, both my husband and I, I think we both grew up different and very similar. I grew up in the Caribbean mostly. Not a ton of structure from two to seven. I didn't live with either one of my parents. I lived with neighborhood friends, childhood friends with my mother that were kind enough to take me in. My father died when I was five during that time. Then you think going like, oh, I'm going to create normal. I'm going to have a really stable environment. My kids have grown up in the same two houses. Then you like, then you have all other challenges or other things that you thought, oh, you would avoid by having these other standards. So it's been an interesting journey into what,

you know, my desire for balance or normalcy. Yeah, I wondered that because, by the way, Gavin's husband's layer of caramel to everybody, if you don't know. Why the greatest big wave surfer of all time? Also an entrepreneur, also a really good look at dude. Like scary, good looking couple when you look at these two. I mean, like, not fair. No, like, no, just not fair. Like, how do you compete with that? Both of you guys.

But setting that aside, you brought it up or I wanted to ask you first, because when I, I, we have some mutual friends. And so obviously I knew you from your athletic career, your modeling career, I knew, you know, I knew the public you. The thing that surprised me about you, surprised in a pleasant way was this sense of normalcy that you seem to have in your life and how dedicated, frankly, of a mother. You are first and wife, but seems so dedicated in that part of your life.

Do you think that's because there was a lack of stability and structure when you were young? Yeah, I think that's definitely part of it. I think you're overcompensating for my lack of. And I really was like, I really don't want to blow it as a mother. And there's a lot, there's sort of like a great amount of insecurity around like trying to do it the right way.

Because I always say if you had a mom or parents that taught showed you love and discipline, you would then know that you know how to administer that comfortably. And I think for me, believe it or not, because in some ways I think I am, I can be kind of a hard-ass, but when it comes to my kids,

I'm always hedging like, oh, okay, if I'm too intense or too tough on them, well, they not know that I love them. Where I see people who've had a really beautiful example of those two coming together, and they have no problem being like to their kids, like, hey, suck it, but you know, I love you. They don't put their head on the pillow going like,

you know, so I think there was that, and I think quite fun, it was layered. I'm certainly dedicated to him and to our family. Yeah. But I'll be honest, what's interesting about having a partner like Laird is, that's kind of the unspoken rule, if you will. And so there's an interesting thing where people are like, oh, you're very dedicated wife. And it's like, yeah, I am. But also, I'll be forthcoming and say, I have a partner that shows up in a real way. And so the silence, you know, invitation,

slash expectation would be in your way, your language, hopefully you're on the same page. Yeah. And so what that does is you prime that pump, right? And you're constantly flexing like, hey, no one's telling me anything, that wouldn't work, but I'm gonna really show up because I see this person in there showing up. And then that just becomes the gear. Yeah, he didn't set it, but there's a standard that is just sort of set by his conduct. Now I'm curious, what do you think makes a good mother?

Because I said you're a good mother. What do you think makes one? You know, that's like a moving target that question. I think here's what I know. I think if you can be here for your children and you can love them and then what I've had to learn is to listen. Really listen, not listen and fix, just genuinely listen to that person. And also, like realize that these people are here on this planet, separate from you with their own journey, and that might make me wildly uncomfortable as a mother, because part of it's like, I wouldn't choose that for you.

Whether it's that personality trait that you're either permanently in or temporarily in, or that conduct, or like there are certain moves, we have three daughters, one is an adult, one is 16 and one is 12. So we've had some opportunities to get into deep parenting. And it's, so I think it's that. And beyond that, I think a good parent, a good parent is willing to grow and change. And I don't know when my kids are a little, little, that that was a concept I was familiar with, but then when they became teenagers,

it's like you're reminded they're here, give you this next opportunity, if you take it as uncomfortable as it is To continue to grow and I feel like then you can bring that growth into this next part of your life I totally agree with you. It's funny that you say that I just made a post about it the other day Just because I think I said something along the lines like changing your mind is actually a strength. It's not a weakness And in changing the way you parent is a strength not a weakness and it's not a weakness. And changing the way you parent is a strength, not a weakness. And it's funny. I think sometimes people think that it's, you know, somehow this strength, I'm rigid

in what I believe. I'm rigid in my expectations. I think being a parent's more like an art form than it is necessarily a science, right? It's kind of both. I think being married is too, don't you? Yeah. And I think you're pivoting and adapting. And I think it's like what season is it, what time is it, what's going on in that person's life, what's going on in your life. And I think when we do that rigid setup because I could have that inclination, I use that hyper discipline, that hyper grind, think to like have gotten me so far.

And then you realize, oh, but if I'm really going to be a powerful or have a chance at any glimmer of wisdom, I have to be pliable, I have to be able to take constructive criticism. And I also have to let everybody kind of really be who they are. And that is, that has been very difficult. And then it's all there's something really liberating because we can't control it anyway. And so I feel like once we stop, then somehow there's a freedom in acceptance of like, wow, even this sucks a little or I'm uncomfortable. Why is she doing that? And it's okay. Okay, I got to, I got to, I'm so glad you just said that. Okay, I'm gonna face something. Rarely, when I'm like researching to do the show,

and by the way, I do all the research myself. I was researching things about you and things you said. And, you know, it's public information that you and Laird at one time almost were divorced. Right? And I was watching a recent interview with you and you had said to her, it was Danica Patrick, you had said her, I don't know, you said, I don't, I think we will,

but I don't know if Larry and I were married in 10 years. And let me tell you what was interesting. When I first heard that I went, oh wow, that's terrible. And then I'll be honest with you. I thought about it and I thought, what a really insightful thing to say, because I think when you're not, when you're looking to keep everything in order the way it's always going to be, to some extent you lose your presence in the moment, and it gives you much less flexibility in your life to really grow and change yourself. In other words, if you, everything's predictable or the nature of your relationship, the nature of your life, and as humans, we all want to kind of gravitate towards certainty, it's always going to be this way, it's always going to be like that. I know you want to

be, I know you probably will be, but I want you to know, it's one of those really rare moments. I thought about it last night, woke up last night knowing you were going to do this today, and I reflected on it again, and I thought, wow, there's some, I don't know if it's bizarre, some beautiful power in that way of thinking almost. Do you know what I mean? Like it's, I guess for me, it was, it allows you to be more present when you're not trying to take control of the future all the time. Does that make sense? Oh, it does. You know, I, again, because of my childhood and I, by I by my nature, I really want to set up rigid. I do. What's interesting is I chose a partner who is really quite different, like so disciplined, but I'm talking about like, this is a person who follows weather. So they actually

want to have the feeling of the flexibility of when and now we've got apps that tell us whether so we have senses of things coming a week in advance, but let's say when lared was younger, it was like, I am free even though listen, I have layered schedule, his book is right in front of me, and at times I'm like, tomorrow you have this and that, but it's wanting that sense of freedom, and this is what I say about the marriage. I'm gonna wake up every day,

and I will do my best and work for that day. And beyond that, I don't know what else to do. It's kind of like I have friends who I saw and then maybe the marriage just didn't work out. And then it was like the train left the station and then they're like, wait a second, let's talk about it. And what I do realize is the time to get on the train is like when you're in it.

And it's the same with training, just because I literally trained for 30 years literally 33 years of my life I still have to get up tomorrow and try to make better good nutrition nutritional choices and train because it's sort of an ongoing I think you're right. I think you're 100% right. It was one of those statements Like at first I heard I went and I don't like it. I don't know if there's that's a weakness. And then I thought about it, why is that the one area of everybody's like that they somehow have to predict the entire future for? I kind of think it's

beautiful to want to know where it goes assuming you're going to be together. But it allows you to work on the train when you're there like just so you know helped me and I think we're hearing this. I know right now people driving or watching this, they're debating this in their mind. Is that a healthy thing? Is that not a healthy thing? Which is what I want the show to do. We thought provoking.

So, it's not a lack of dedication. Like I am focused, but I also, we don't know what life brings us. And also, I don't want to have something happen in my life that takes me out, out, because I was so stuck to an idea. Like, I don't know. No, no, no, I, this is going deep. I like it and I agree with you. So I'm going to talk about you and Larry for a minute. Okay. Well, I'm going to go to business too, but I watch an interview with him and he kept calling you his girlfriend. And I love this because I think you should always be courting who you're with. I think that's what he

meant by part of it. I think there should always be, I get interviewed a lot of people ask me, you know, what makes a relationship work? I said, well, everyone does get trust and communication and all that. But if you don't have chemistry, if you don't have something physical as well, that matters, right? Where maybe at some point in a relationship, it's not gonna be everyday, sex every single day, but it's intimacy, it's touching, it's hugging, it's holding hands,

it's something where you treat one another like a boyfriend and girlfriend, and then I watch interviews with you and you almost like made a face if he called you as wife and not as girlfriend. What's that all about? I told there a long time ago. I said listen, I'll do everything a wife. I cook, Laird dinner. He likes to be, he likes, he likes dinner. Like he wants me to cook him dinner. I like cooking. It's easy. It's as one of his languages, whatever. And I'm like, I'll organize your business life. You know, don't treat me like a wife. And because, you know, when I hear people discuss their partner,

like, oh, the ball and chain, or, you know, I don't know who I'm gonna ask them, it's like, I hope I'm never that to anyone. And the other thing I tell men is if they, if they just have a child with their partner, that the worst thing you could do in that moment, like let's say, have a new baby. And the guy walks in and he's like, how's mommy doing? I want to punch you in the face. It's like, you know, like, you're there, you're nursing, you're stomachs, you know, soft because you just had a baby and you still are an individual person.

And then also ultimately, I would like so much to be your partner, to be someone that you're excited about. It then like you said, it doesn't mean like sexy time every day. I've been with her almost 25 years. It's like, but it's, it's like you still can see me. Yes. That's, you know. Guys, this is one of the most huge things ever on the show.

Here's what happens. We get into these relationships we're in love. This is, be honest. The baby arrives and the man starts to, or maybe the woman participating this too, starts to not identify as an individual woman anymore, but as this mommy figure only, and this guy objectifies you that way, unintentionally,

and over time, he falls out of love because it's mommy and not his girlfriend, not this woman he's attracted to that wants to learn more about, that wants to grow, that wants to be in an individual relationship with, too, right? There's the family relationship, and then there's your relationship. And it's also the woman on the woman. The onus is like, hey, listen, and this is people don't like to hear this when you're tired and you're busy and no offense to men. But if you're working female, you are

busier than your partner period. Because you're worrying about details about your home that your husband doesn't, it doesn't occur to him. He's not doing it on purpose. But then it's like, oh, I'm too tired for sex. I don't want sex. You have to figure out a way to have sex. And then it's like, oh, I'm too tired for sex. I don't want sex. You have to figure out a way to have sex.

And so that's the only other. You can't expect the guy to be like, hey, baby. And then there's like, it's all that too. So. Huge. It's not talked about enough. You've got to have sex life as a married couple. Yeah, it's what starts to happen when it goes the other way.

So I've got to be covered that first. I don't think a lot of people thought I'm going to get Gabby Reese on my show. And we're going to go to mom and marriage first. But it's the things that I think of now when I think about you first, which to me are the most important roles in life. And these other things, the fact that you're an amazing athlete, all those other things you want to talk about now a little bit

too. So one thing you and Larry have that is unique is you also kind of work together. Yeah. And you're an entrepreneur at a really interesting time to be an entrepreneur. So in these businesses, what role do you play? Like what are you great at as an entrepreneur? What strengths? You know, I would I have done typically is Larry is the creative person. He's the creative motor and he's also the motor that is always, you know, in different ways working, pulling us along.

And I am a facilitator of a lot of that creativity into an organized template. And I think also I have a more of a communicator. I mean, Laird is a great communicator, but I think I have a, I've spent a lot of time interviewing people, writing, doing different types of communication, and also my other job is to kind of connect the dots on the brands, but also make sure that the brands are lined up with like who we really are. Yeah. And not let them run a stray or sell things or talk about

things that aren't real to who we really are. And so I'm kind of the gatekeeper of that. And I'm the one who you know keeps us on task. That's your job. So Laird Superfood is a big part of one of your brands, right? Yeah. It's a big one. And then your breathing app, XPT life, the breathing app, is actually sponsored by Show Before I use it. So it seems to be centered around fitness, wellness, because it's such a centerpiece of your life. What's so important about this superfood element, just for example, what's in it? Why is that matter? You know, for your entrepreneurs out there, what I want to say that's so important about having a company like this Which was completely by accident which was the best ones?

It was off of a habit that it was doing authentically for more than 20 years looking for performance and the great thing is I'll tell you that they we even have it sort of as part of our policy, but like no product leaves The door without us being clear about what the ingredients are, no artificial flavors that's actually plant-based. And we have our own factory, so we manufacture, we don't copack in Oregon. And so, for example, during COVID, they're up 124 percent because we don't lose, we don't skip a beat because our CEO is smart and really risk averse. And so the thing that's important about this product besides that it's from real habits that we do, like we've got activate products with like lemon and ginger

and minerals and cayenne pepper. So in the morning, get you going, whatever. We have hydrate products that are freeze dried, things like that based on layer, really wanting to be hydrated with not all the sugar and all the stuff, is that how do we take something that's real, make it taste good, because if it tastes like asks, you won't do it every day.

How does it support you through your day, be it cost, convenience, and ingredients? But the thing that's important that I realize after being in all these other businesses, IP is really important. A product, something that exists that people can hold and touch and use the way they want to use separate from you. You start to realize how important that is. And a reoccurring product, again, we couldn't have orchestrated it better, but when you start to realize, like, you're touching

people every morning, every day. That is as far as an entrepreneur and going through all the iterations that we've gone through. That's been one of the best learning curves. Huge. The second point, particularly about having a recurring revenue stream from the same client, it's a huge thing. The hardest thing in business is to continue to go get new clients over and over and over again and find the same product to a new person rather than potentially even the same person with a new product if you can also diversify too. So that's a huge point. By the way, little tip guys for me, when I'm even especially in the nutritional space

and I don't mean to knock anybody who doesn't do this. But when I find somebody who doesn't co-pack and they've got their own factory where they develop and build, that tells me they're in for the long haul and that business and that potentially they're a little bit more concerned about what actually goes into the product and the way that it's package. So both of those are super huge keys. How do you know do you think when to pull the plug on a business? I never asked that to anybody on the show. I've had to pull plugs on businesses. Listen, there's something about having an idea and you think it's good, but when every, I find that I know

when it's not attracting the right people. Like, I'll use Laird Superfors, an example, every person involved on the executive side that has come over, we got a guy from marketing who came from Conda and asked before the business was rolling. It's like, it attracted these high quality people. I've had other projects where after three to five years, it wasn't getting traction, the people involved.

And even though you're passionate about it, it doesn't mean everyone is passionate about it. And so I also stayed entrepreneurs. You have to have that passion because it's hard to get mean everyone is passionate about it. And so I also say to entrepreneurs, you have to have that passion because it's hard to get up each day to do it, but you also have to keep a reasonable perspective about nobody cares. I always think like nobody cares

and if you can start with those two kind of polar points of view, but I think it's also in your gut, like you just go, hey, this isn't, this isn't happening. I just sometimes see people continue to try to shove this idea that was so great to them through the same prism too without pivoting without altering the way they market it. They package it. And I just, I never asked anybody the whole show 300 episodes, where I've never asked somebody when you know to pull the plug, but I know that you have had businesses that you had to pivot out of and now you've got to found your groove, you know, now I'm There's like all these things that I really want to ask you, but take you in him for a minute. I think people sometimes maybe

Let's take you since you're here. They failed to realize sort of the schedule of a top performer. So for me, the most important thing I've already told you is it seems as if you're winning in your marriage most of the time, which is by the way, I'm, you know, if I'm winning most of the time at anything I'm happy, but you're winning in that really important place and also turned something around that was going the wrong direction to. Then I'll be using mother, I'm like, it seems like she's winning there. And probably isn't feel like it every day, but she's kind of winning there. And then there's the fitness side of you, which we'll talk about

in a minute, which is critical both my life and your life, and it most elite performers know. Then there's the business part of your life, then you've probably got a social part of your life. So there's all of these moving parts. What does a day look like for you? What's the schedule? Does that mean most people might underestimate what it even looks like to be a top performer in multiple areas, what's the schedule look like? Well, there gets up first, and so then we get up and we actually sit and have a coffee together

because it will be the only time in the day that it's just the two of us being and having a nice visit. Then we go off and usually train. If I, unless I have, like for example, I have some commitments coming up being and having a nice visit, then we go off and usually train. If I, unless I have, like for example, I have some commitments coming up that will be 6.30 in the morning until 6 at night, and I know that week is a wash,

and I've already accepted that, right? But in my day to day, then I go straight to train, because so if it's get a kid off to school and then train fine, but for me, if three o'clock rolls around and I have not trained, I will not train. And I don't even lie to myself anymore. Because I can't, I don't have the output that I need for my training, I need that early.

Because I don't want to have to ask it and go in there. So I train, get that over with. And then usually it's straight to either meetings or dealing with emails. And then maybe we have to shoot something. And we have family dinner as often as we can. And then, and the other thing is layered is like a lunatic about sleep. You know, he's giving everyone dirty looks at like by 830. And I'm just like, get a life. But what you, I will say this, we open our home to people that are friends.

So our training oftentimes, our social trip is socialized is wrapped around our training, because it's too hard sometimes to do both. And then occasionally maybe it's go to dinner with a close friend to really connect. But I have found that over the years, probably 20 years, to make part of it. That's what's so great about a sauna. You and I could sit in a sauna

and have a 10 minute conversation in 200 degrees and get right to it. And now we're connected, we've connected, and now boom, we're off on our day, right? I'm just curious, how much, like months before COVID, how much social do you and he do real life? Now, there's a lot of no. Yeah, that's what I'm gonna,

I was sensing that from you. You can't show up every day for everybody and everything and then also care for yourself. And now granted, there are people who have jobs where they, like, okay, Los Angeles, if you talk to any age and a lawyer, they have to go to drinks, it's called, right? I wouldn't, like, you know, I was like, who goes to drinks? So if you're in a networking thing, I get it.

But if you want to network with us, we'll go to lunch with you. You can come to our house. We'll teach you pull training. You can go to the heat nice. We'll sit down and have a focus meeting. But I think it's about saying, you know, it's not as sexy. Like you're gonna see a lot of pictures of Laird Nion, like red carpets and movies fabulous. But that's not what we're selling. And also I think independently we each know, we're really clear about what makes us feel good for real.

And for us, that outside stuff, it's a lot of work. And it's just not our thing, you know. I love that about you because that's how we are as well. I pass on most of those things. And I just think this is a lesson. I just, it's not ever discussed either. It's like we're covering stuff that's not talked about a lot. I think if you're gonna be in a marriage

and you wanna also have a great family and also some financial success, I always worry when I'm not talking about a lot. I think if you're gonna be in a marriage and you wanna also have a great family and also some financial success, I always worry when I'm on social media and I see successful entrepreneurs who I know have children. I don't mean any judgment by this because some of it isn't necessity. So I'm not being judging, but when I see them out four or five nights a week

over and over and over again, I'm like someone suffering over this. And eventually that you might have that financial success, but you're gonna look back. Those babies are only with you till they're basically 18. You can't get to the time back. And it's rare, let's just be honest, Gabby. It's rare in my world,

but particularly in your world, the athlete sort of celeb world to show you have made. And it's something I really admire about you because I don't see a lot of that. I think it's probably one of the reasons why you are winning. I think that's a secret form. It's why I ask you how much you go out. You know what I would say to people is this.

And I'm sure you've talked about this a lot. What is success to you? And for some people, it's like, oh, I need more zeros, or I need more attention. I only need so many zeros. You know what I mean? Like, I, and it's, I'll share something, Lard said to me the other day that I thought was really important, is I need to be really clear about what's going to make me happy and

what my definition of success is, not what the world has told me. And quite frankly, there are days in parenting where I'm like, okay, all my daughters are alive and overall doing pretty good. That's like kind of the best I got today. Like sometimes it feels so crazy that I'm like, success today is their alive, you know, and no one's killing anybody. Great. And for me, success is self-care, having time to commit, to being taking care of myself. And I'm willing to work as hard as it takes to create that space to do that.

But Lerid talked to me about money, and he was like, listen, the thing for him with money is like, let's say Lerid's super-fue right now. Let's say it's doing very well. He's like, that's just a target. Like that's not a, oh, it's that money, because we also know that sometimes too much, I've seen it destroy most people I know.

And so how do you reach for the stars, say I wanna create as much wealth and what I mean is in the word of wealth, healthiness, relationships, maybe actual wealth, but not actually have it destroy me because most people don't think about it and they don't realize it could destroy their relationship, their health, or if nobody ever tells them no, then they've lost the plot. And so it's like really drilling down on, at the end of this, like you said, what am I going to think is success and being clear? I think the chase of money and I've done it and I've acquired some,

obviously a little bit, and I think that sometimes what you do, I get it for a while. I think you think I'm just going to keep chasing us and I'll get to A number. Then I'm going to get around to my own wellness, my spirituality, my health, except that number keeps moving. Guys, you hang out with the guys who have that number and then also you're around the guys with the bigger number and then they're cutting their boats to get an extra meter or five meters and it's like, exactly right. You go, these people are loaded, they can't walk up the flight to stairs. Or there's like, is anyone having fun? Yeah, yeah, you're right.

It's fun. And if you neglect the family front, and by the way, a lot of young people are still don't even have children yet, but you know, you and I both have this probably too, but some of my most financially successful friends are some of the most wonderful people. During the years when their children were under their roof, maybe things weren't the way

they could go back and do them, they would in terms of just time. And now that they are wealthy and now that their children are grown, the number one negative thing in their life that occupies all of their emotions is the challenges their adult grown children are still working through right now because of the neglect potentially that took place when they are in your house. So you're actually making an investment when you're with your children and your future happiness.

Yeah. So essentially, don't you think? I mean, you don't think of it that way, but it's true. More than 100% because they actually say, right, our happiness is only, you know, how good your worst kid is doing, right? Like, however that's going. And the other thing people, if you're young and let's say you're

even single, even when I was single, I was still very dedicated to my self-care. Because then what happens is you send out a frequency that you attract other people who are doing that. They will help you in your success, whether it's the partner that ends up with you or the people you hang out with. And so it's not about these lessons or learn because, oh, I'm married and have kids. I lived a certain way. I attract a certain partner separately and together, okay. And you just hope that your kids think some of the stuff you're doing is a good idea and

they'll use it later. And that's the arc, that's the longest return of any story, right, is the parenthood. So true. And I think most stuff with kids and as an entrepreneur, even the people around you, I think the most important things are caught, not taught. And when you say that about them just catching some of it, that's most of the lessons. There's still things to this day, like even good ambat that I'll behave like my dad.

And I'm like, you never told me to act like this, but I just, I caught it. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's kind of freaks you out a little bit. Let's talk about your self-care, because I find like, I'm attracted to people who put out that vibrational frequency too, right? Like, I tend to surround myself with people

who are concerned about their, they're, they're aware of their life. There's a life awareness. They're living, they're trying to live intentionally, right? They're trying to live on purpose. Go to your fitness for a second. Obviously, you're incredibly fit. You, you, you're an athlete. I was going to say where but you are. Now, how do you train? What are some of the unique things you do that maybe no one's heard on my show before that you do for your training? You know, we do have a pool training that we do underwater, deep water with dumbbells.

That's pretty unique. I mean, like if you took Navy SEALs or some other guys, they might have versions and exposures. And actually we have quite a lot of those guys coming here and a lot of professional athletes. So, you know, I'm in an 11-12-foot pool. I have also shallow water, three-foot training where I can be ballistic. I don't have to pound my joints. I can touch the discomfort curtain a lot because I always say,

what I liked about sports was it felt honest. Like, when you go and you put a good three hours in and let's say, and go train, or like, say, volleyball practice, I would come and I would sit in my car and I'd go, okay, no matter what you do for the day, that at least felt honest. And so with the pool training, because what's so amazing is, all, I believe, all training, unless you're doing a really specific sport, should help you function as a higher, just more efficient, effective, adaptive organism. So that should bleed into all areas of your life, not just training like I train, it's like, okay,

but how is that developing you? And so the underwater pool training, some of the stuff you can't even get done if you don't relax. So there's a thing of, I feel stressed out, I don't have air. If I freak out, I'm definitely not going to make it. But if I relax and get a hold of myself, I can usually finish the task because

I'm not going to burn the extra air, right? So there are these environments where I can work really, really hard, not crush my body, make gains, but also meet myself emotionally because I'm feeling with a lack of oxygen. Wow. Can we do that? Can we go there for a minute? So underwater, I'm hoping you were to go there because I heard you researched this, but I don't know what it means.

Yeah. So underwater weight training. What does that, walk us through it a little bit. I'll give you an example. So let's say you have one dumbbell, and we have a drug called the Reese that was created by my 16 year old when she was five. You can take a dumbbell.

Let's say, layered, 45 pound dumbbell. Go down to the bottom. You blot all your air. CO2. Why? Because I'm going to get to the bottom, tuck my dumbbell into my stomach because you want to be hydrodynamic. Make a huge ballistic jump to the top.

With your free arm, you're going to rip yourself out. Make sure all your air is out. Why? So when your head pops out, one breath in, back down. So I could say, okay, we're gonna do a set of 10. Now, let's say you're gonna add to it, you could do something called the ammo box. You could swim across your pool right below the surface,

so you have less drag. And with one arm, you're stroking, and you're doing a breaststroke kick. It's efficient. You hold your dumbbell close to your body, right? Let's see, get to the other end of the pool, side to side. So 40 feet. You can get there before you touch,

maybe drop down, do 10 jumps. Right. So now you're dealing with levels of hypoxic training. So you're dealing with in deficiency of air. So you're dealing with an inefficiency of air. So you're cardio. Yeah. Again, you're not hammering joints. You can create circuits in the pool

where I can sit, I can put you on a line and make you swim with an elastic. Then I can put you on an incline. I have an incline and give you, I could give you 250 pound dumbbells and say, okay, you're gonna walk to the waters just above your head. Now, as hard as you can, you're gonna do ballistic squat jumps

and you come out quick. It isn't like the deep water one. So if I'm an athlete or an aging athlete, and somebody who wants to continue to improve and perform, how do I do ballistic training or metal training and the water is neutral? She's got nothing against you. So it's a neutral feedback. Yeah. You're ramped out today. You're stressing out. That's why you

can't get there and back without a breath. Wow. So it's this really cool environment. And we have underwater speakers. We have all these athletes there doing all these different things and it's hard, but it's just you can work so hard there and not feel beat up. Gosh, so is this anywhere else like can they go find info about this or are you going to create a program on this? Well, it is part of XPT. It's just because it's a breeding piece, right? Yeah. And it's on the heat and the ice, but it's so particular that we're very protective to make sure whoever would administer the training is because the thing is I have guys who come here they can't swim. We can get them through it. I have people here where you have to say I'm here to push you, but first and foremost, I'm your ally and I'm only going to make this a positive experience. And every person who does it. So we've had people come to our house to do it, when people come and do XPT experiences,

we do two days of it. Okay. And slowly, I would like to get, we just have to do it the right way. I love this. This is a huge business idea. I'm telling you, like, I'll do it with you. So everybody, one thing, you should,

the main business I wanted to have them talk about today was Larry Superfood, but you guys know, XBT sponsored my show before. If you're interested in what you should just said, at least go get that app, go do that. And I think all of you, like myself, and I'm going to share something in a minute, I think any type of resistance training you can start to do in water, you should be considering doing it. At least as a general recommendation, I'm going to make to everybody here. When I first met Stallone many years ago,

we were training together. I said, what are, and I'm beat up now. I've been lifting weights now for 30 years. I just came back after COVID, immediately. I've heard a tendon in my wrist. It's just, a lot of people say, well, then you're not training correctly, baloney. I've been lifting correctly for 30 years.

It's just stress on my joints. I'm naturally not a very big man. I've got, you know, smaller wrists my joints. I'm naturally not a very big man. I've got smaller wrist and joints, and I've gotten pretty big. I love the idea of starting a train in a pool and doing more of that sort of less, less strenuous stuff on joints.

So please everybody, get that app. And also, this had nothing to do with selling the app. I didn't even know where we go. I think. And train more in water. Go ahead. And I can, when you, when you come back, I can run you through it because there's also quite a lot you can get done in three feet of water.

That's really important. And also, especially for the male population, you don't actually have to sacrifice losing size or not strength. It's just a different way to train. And sometimes if we can rewire our thinking of like, oh, I feel just completely smashed. Perfect. It's like, oh, we can smash you, but you don't have to feel smashed.

I love it. And the other thing where I was going to with slide, I asked him, because he's obviously 20, almost 30 years over there, maybe 25 years over there with me. I said, what is something you regret that you didn't do in your training? And like almost everybody I know who's been fit for a long time, he said, I should have stretched more. Stretched.

And here I am now, I'm 49. And I've heard him, yet I've got 97% of the time I've gone to the gym to train. I've never stretched before and I don't stretch after. And I feel like at this point in my life I'm paying the price if you're younger, would you recommend people stretch more? And if you're nearer to my age or 30s or 40s begin to have a stretching program? True.

I think so. And I think actually it'd be best to do it at the end of the day. I think it's like an animal like you don't really want to maybe stretch before you train or play. I think the idea of actually breathing quite a bit and opening up your ribs and giving room for your lungs for an athlete or like a runner perfect, but stretch at the end. More of that's the case isn't it. The time of your body being warm when you begin to stretch. So I just want to hear that I've said that to everybody. Okay, got for going out low to the place. I love this. I knew we would cover all these different topics.

So I want to talk a little bit about other things you do for your wellness. So there's the fitness piece. Obviously, that's a centerpiece of your life. Are there other things you do for your self-care that people should know about that? Maybe they don't right now. There are gratitude exercise. Do you meditate? Is there anything like that that you do? I um again because like a lot of people I'm busy and I I'm not by nature like a let it go kind of person right like I have friends that just can't wait to let it go. I'm the one at yoga at the end you know when they're laying there I'm like okay let's wrap it up you know but I will say this a homeostasis, finding the middle. I am very sensitive to when I'm getting off.

So what I do that helps me and also lets my stress impact me less is, I'll give you an example, if I really am reacting strongly to something, like an overreaction, let's say, I'm like, oh, you're out of whack. Like, you're off your homeostasis, right? So if I could just encourage people, really just self-awareness, like, why are you flipping out? Does that really, so it means something's off

with, am I tired? Am I, do I have some unfinished business personally? Am I scared about something that I'm not dealing with? Because that usually is how I respond. I respond with teeth. I get super aggressive and raw when I have something in my life that's making me scared or unsettled. Because you don't you attack.

I say that I have a good sense of that balance. And even if you're driving in your vehicle, one thing I do is I find the way to make that a time that I go back down to the baseline. And because sometimes people don't have time to meditate. And I'm very good about my breathing. If people could nose breathe unless you're doing sprints, if you're sitting at your desk and you're on your computer, be mindful of nose breathing only. Try to deep, I always say to people, try to breathe deep into your belly, because if we're only breathing into our chest, which most of us are, we're ramping up, we're in our sympathetic, we're in our fight or flight, we're even just through the day you breathe into your

belly. And obviously, I'm pretty mindful, but not psycho about my food. I never really drank as an adult. I just, because I grew up around people who are so Lucy Goosey in the Caribbean that I was like, whoa, to alcohol wasn't, was never really my jam. But so I think that helps. I mean, getting to better early is the stuff we talked about. But early for you. Me, I prefer 9.30. A flare kick got about 8.30. You know, yay. That's just like, what do we like?

Three, but you know, but you know, that's the other thing is I feel this way too when I pull train. Sometimes I'm like, I'm a 15 year old boy. Like at some point, sometimes you can't just always be like, yes, dear, it's like, sometimes it's like you have to be a little belligerent to get through and have some fun and just get it done. But so I think what I try to say to people is,

the reason I exercise and eat well is so I have half a shot at being like a somewhat sane human being about like what my sane human being. Yeah. About like what my butt looks like. I'm happy that things are so, you know, staying together. You know, and I, my moods are better, my energy's better because I eat better. But at the end, end of the day, I'm actually just trying to figure out all the tools available to me to help me just be a more productive, better, kinder, better responding

human being. I think it's interesting. You forget, I mean, I was, you don't forget because you're looking at you, but you just, you have a tendency to forget, you know, that you're listening to if you're listening, right? I want the most beautiful women in the world, one of the most successful athletes and, and, you know, it's such a high profile person to have such a degree of humility most successful athletes. And it's such a high profile person to have such a degree of humility that you have.

I just think it makes me wanna even root for you even more. But I'm, it isn't humility. Listen, what is it? I think when you grew up the way I grew up, you're just aware that you would like things to be nice. And when they get nice, which means like, hey, I want to college on a scholarship to play volleyball, right? All of a sudden, when these things started

showing up in my life, and still to this day, and this is very true, I am so clear that there are opportunities. And I am so clear, like when people talk about grace and all of that. So what happens is it isn't humility. It's that you're kind of clear enough, you haven't gone lost your mind just because you've lived in certain worlds that you're not clear, that it's a door that's showing up for you and you're fortunate, go through it,

bust your ass, take care of it. But it's not like, oh, it's humility. It's like, and also listen, I don't have the balls. Like, I don't have the balls to go against the universe. You know what I mean? Like, the universe is going to be like, oh, idiot, you need to learn that lesson. It's like, for sure. Like, on. So half of it is like, I'm just trying to, you know, yeah, the universe has slapped me back many times when Mr. E. West started to take over for sure But but I think that's also there's these little secrets that we have about ourselves that we don't know

And I think one of them is this about you. Let me say why I Think that some people have success in little windows in their life And then they don't exemplify what you just described That ego takes over and they begin to think it is them. Maybe they don't grind as hard. Maybe they don't get after it as much. Maybe they're not as good a listener. They start to lose some of the things that got them where they were. I think that's how, that's one of the little secret things of how you've been able to

go from athlete to model to mother to wife to entrepreneur, is that piece about you. But you think it is not humility. What about this? I'm gonna ask you, I just talked to Blake Mikoski, told me to tell you hello. Oh yeah. And he said something that I relate to. And I wonder if you've ever had this.

Because of that thing you just described. When good things have come your way, I think this is a secret that sabotages some people in their life if they get it gets the better of them. And it's why maybe they don't continue to progress. I struggled with a little bit when I wasn't as happy as I could be and I was successful almost with like a shame of some of the good things that happened for me. Absolutely for you too. And Blake had said that he did as well. And I think that's a secret thing that happens for people.

They almost begin to feel shame by it. If you're not careful, I guess the better of you, you'll go out of your way to remove the goodness in your life so you don't feel the shame. Yeah. And you almost begin to sabotage the success you've had. Do you relate to that at all? That is really important what you're saying.

Because, and that's why you have to be a good soldier. You have to keep your head down and say thank you. And if someone asks you for help and you can, you should. And, you know, I watch even Laird. Literally like Laird, you know, he used alcohol to medicate, definitely for the first 10 years of our marriage, because he felt so shameful that he got to do what he really loved to make a living.

When we lived in Hawaii part time, and it's a hard place to live, and he's very sensitive. And I've had the same thing where you go, well, why do I get to? Why do I have the freedom, any form of abundance? And then that's the way I have had the relationship with it is that is when you talk about grace and that is when You understand you don't really deserve anything. So you take that off and it's not you. Oh, you're so smart. Okay, great No, you are smart enough to see opportunity work hard be a good steward of the opportunity and Like I said, and if you have an opportunity to help your tribe or community in the way that is real to you, whatever your skill set is, do it.

So good. God, I'm going to enjoy this so much. I like the ones that I do where they help me. And that's what today is. I mean that, so thank you. I want to talk to you last thing. I want to talk about social media, which it seems like we're going to do in all other roads, but you just made the face. So what's that face me, number one? I just think it's kicking our world's ass. I know it's kicking my ass as a parent and my kids ass, for sure.

How so? Well, the world, you know, we used to have our own experiences of like the radius of our world, our block, if we travel, what have you now we're getting this kind of snippet of everything all at one time, some of it accurate, some of it inaccurate. And then now we've got our children who are getting hardwired according to this and also, you know, you're only supposed to get input from so many people and it was like 150 people max, right? And if you decided to take a public job, then you were going to get it from the newspaper maybe occasionally. Now, every single individual can have input from people they don't know who don't care about them. And then they're hardwired for the dopamine, so they're into the, you know, the slot machine part of it. And then as a parent, trying to navigate because you can't just put, say, well, don't do this. We have to figure out how to teach them how to use it.

So it doesn't hurt them. And so it's really a lot, I think. How do you use it? I use it as a tool for my business. And I try to, if I could be honest, I try to make it as close to who we are. Like so we're not depicting something so off without being gratuitous, because I think that, you know, you're always walking the line

between saying, ham, and open up, and I'm gonna be really forthcoming and even be gratuit. Like, my kids, they're always walking the line between saying, Ham, and open up, and I'm gonna be really forthcoming, and even be gratuit. Like, my kids, they're bigger now. Some things, it's actually not my story to tell. It's theirs, right? So it's like trying to just be mindful of that. But I use it, I use it as a work tool.

I'm curious how much of it, by the way, I couldn't agree with you more on all of that. And it's a reason I asked it because obviously, I have a pretty significant social media presence. It's quite a question. It's well, it's part, but I use it for business, but it's part of, I initially thought it was a way that I could serve more people and help more people.

And it has done that. It's also begun to dominate even my life. As a grown man, I still find myself, I've been vulnerable with my own audience here, but I still find myself even now, I'm 49 years old, and a pretty good life overall. I still find myself attaching some of my worth to how a post does. I mean, I went through a phase where that didn't matter, but now I find myself on there maybe more than I should be, carrying a little bit too much about what's happening on there.

And it has started to creep up even with me on an addiction of some sort, of just checking it is what I think I mean. Are you pretty cognizant of that? Are you on there much? Are you on there too? Are you on there too much? Do you think even for you? Yeah, I am. And I do better certain days than others. But certainly, because I'm the one, like, Larry doesn't go on social media. So I do his social media

mind. He's way smarter, you know, like he's like, yeah, okay, idiots, like he's down the road. However, it is a tool. And the other thing you said is important. There are things about it that could be used so positively and powerfully. The problem is, is most of us aren't using it that way. And it could be a resource, but not really. Now it's become something else. So I'm conflicted a lot and it's something I'm always checking.

So I appreciate what you're saying, because I think most people are contending exactly with that. If it became a part of my life, Gabby, where in the beginning it was really, and by the way, still is, I think overall probably still it's a net benefit to the world compared to a negative. Yeah. It's getting really close. And it's funny.

There was a couple days last year where Instagram didn't work. They were two of the richest days I had had in years. And I sometimes have these fantasies that it's just gonna become irrelevant and I'll go away and I kind of root for it. Because I think once you're in it and of it, you want to be relevant, you want to help people

still. But it's something that I've not asked anybody on the show, but I had also read some more recent. I kind of play it down the middle there a little bit. I do. You have to get huge risks there, are you? Is that still the case? Yeah, no, because unless you want to have a nuanced conversation with me and really talk

about some stuff, like real, I'm not going to do that on social media because there's so many intricacies and subtleties about relationships and aging and business and entrepreneurship that I'm not going to, that's not where I'm going to play a lot of that out. You can do it, which leads right to where I wanted to plug something. You can do that on your show though, right? Yeah. So you go a little deeper there. Talk about your show just for a second. Why do you do it? Well, you know, it's funny.

I started interviewing people in 92 or 1993 for MTV Sports. And what I really liked is I got to meet all these really kind of high performance people. And I don't mean like famous or I just mean like people like doing something. And to your point, I was like, oh, I'm learning and that's why I joke about Joe Rogan. It's like, oh, okay, let me sit in my studio and have the smartest people in the world come to me for the funniest and Joe's just getting smarter and smarter and smarter and

and getting inspired by these people and having real conversations and putting stuff out there that's pretty cool. And so for me, this is why I do the show. I've always interviewed people, my whole career, usually it was television short form. Now the idea of talking to people who are good at what they do, but here's what I know. Part of that, you can kind of phone in, like there's things I could do,

let's say I'm having a bad day, I could still go to a shoot or go to work and show up and no one really know. Now what I want to do is talk to people who are really good at what they do and ask them how they're managing their life because if I feel like if we could have more of that balance and share those exchanges, it's like being a parent. I've had people tell me things as a parent

that helped me so much that I, if I hadn't been open about where I was at, I couldn't have gotten that help. And so it's just trying to keep that dialogue open, saying like, hey, there's so much greatness in life and we can be great and we're human and it's messy and sometimes we don't know and that's okay too. And just having those conversations.

I listen to very few shows and I listen to a few of yours in preparation for this and you don't need me to tell you this but I'll tell my audience this. She's incredible at this and it's one of those shows where I can tell you if you listen to mine first but then go listen to go listen to Gabi because it's she does something I like to do she ask great questions, but it's more of a dialogue like what we're doing right now on her show And it's wonderful and it'll help you and you're making a difference with it And so I just wanted to I wanted to make sure that we covered that in the show I feel like we're doing that with this interview today too, but I got one more question because this flew by Thank you in advance by the way And everybody go follow Gabby Show,

to Gabby Re-Show, go make sure that you follow her on Instagram, take a look at Laird's Superfood, if it's right for you guys. XPT's been a part of our show already, so you guys know about that. So thank you, number one, before I ask you this last question. This has been awesome. She's smiling, everybody, that's on audio.

I thank you. I think it's it's very sweet and you know they're just communicating. I really appreciate it. Thank you. She's so she's not it's not humility evidently. Okay. So I get to run into you at a Starbucks and I'm somebody listening to this show and you know what I'm not as happy as I would like to be and I'm somebody listening to this show. And you know what, I'm not as happy as I would like to be. And I get five minutes with you or 30 minutes with you. This is a really difficult question. I usually serve up a easy fat pitch to head out of the park on the last one, but with you, I feel like there's so much in there that I want to make sure that we've got as much out as we can. And someone just said, look, I'd like to, I'd like the next many years of my life to be happier. You know, I arrived listening to this today,

I'm driving in my car and I've enjoyed this conversation, I've learned some neat tactics and strategies and enjoyed the conversation, but I don't find myself as happy as I'd like to be. And I want to be happier. What would you say to that person? What advice would you give them? What message would you give them? What message would you give them?

You know, it's a really interesting question. I think one thing I have learned also except like the basics about certain pillars of scientific, you know, information about self-care is I don't give advice. What I do, I would say to the person is this, first of all, maybe happiness shouldn't be the goal. I think a sense of peace or a sense of purpose and fulfillment. That might be not only easier, but also maybe more realistic. I think happiness kind of rolls in and out one, too. I think it would be asking this person, is your exterior life a reflection of who you feel that you are inside? Are you getting to express this person inside into your outside life,

whether it's the relationships you have, the work that you're doing, just the ways that you get to express yourself. And people have the answer inside. And then the other thing would be something that my coach coaching college taught me, which is always about personal accountability. We can always blame everybody for everything. Believe me, our parents' sock and we didn't grow up and they wanted to be three inches tall or I wanted to be three inches shorter, whatever. Like what you know I always say play the aces. So like look at your deck, what high cards do you have? And also what ways could

you sort of do it better And if you've got habits that are not serving you in this piece or happiness Why are they there? What's why are we why do we have them and how can we slowly start to get them out and and just kind of provide that real conversation with people and provide that real conversation with people and remind people too that sometimes it's okay to go talk to someone to go outside of ourselves to get that help because it's hard to do, but that if we don't have people in our life that can support us in our own quest, it's going to be really hard to do. I don't care if it's Ed himself who's a powerhouse. Part of his success has to do

with that he has had the right kinds of people around him saying you can do it, yes you can, good idea, bad idea, and we just can't do it alone even though it's sort of our path to walk. I want to do this again. This flew by was this flew by so much I would I would you come back and do this again can we have you back. Are you kidding I love talking to you and I and I love talking about this stuff because for I'm muddling through it like let's not kid ourselves like I'm muddling okay. Yeah I'm muddling too and I feel like that Joe Rogan that you described earlier that same version but today really blessed me. And I kind of knew what I said since,

but I'd like to do this again, and I know my audience going, yes, please have her back. So we're gonna have Gabby back. We're gonna wait a little while. We're gonna use the breathing room, but we're gonna have you back, okay? And if we wanted to talk about crushing it and stuff like that next time, we can't.

We don't have to be, you know, so lifey, if you don't want to. I kind of like where we were, but we can talk a little crushing it. You're definitely capable of that too. Gabby, thank you. It was awesome. Thank you. Hey, everybody, make sure every day you follow me

on Instagram, run on the two-minute drill, max out two-minute drill. So I can engage and collaborate with you. That means follow me there. When I make a post, it's every day, five days a week, 7.30 Pacific, 1030 Eastern. Make a comment in the first two minutes and you register to win.

If you miss the first two minutes, make a comment in other people's comments. If you miss that, comment in every post, I make every day, we pick winners, we get coats by me, my guests, fly on the plane with me once in a while, get tickets to see me speak, get my book, gear, all kinds of cool stuff, just so I'm connecting with you.

So go head over there and do that and share the show with as many people as you can. God bless you. Max out. you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you