THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Design a Life You Love: Align Your Feelings, Experiences, and Relationships

Episode Date: June 21, 2025

👇 SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL - so this show can reach more people 👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIprGZAdzn3ZqgLmDuibYcw?sub_confirmation=1 Click the Link Below to Subscribe to my email list to MAXOUT your life (all value, no fluff) https://konect.to/edmylett 💥 Get my exclusive Monday Motivation training in GrowthDay, the world’s #1 app for advanced mindset and personal development. Visit https://growthday.com/ed. This show is sponsored by GrowthDay. Are you ready to finally take control and design a life that lights your soul on fire? In this Mashup episode, I’m bringing together some of the most impactful voices I’ve had the honor of sharing time with—Ryan Holiday, Lewis Howes, Dave “Heavy D” Sparks, and Jamie Kern Lima. Together, we explore what it means to design a life you love by aligning your feelings, experiences, and relationships with what matters most. I open up about my own journey—from conquering the fear of being a public person to the daily decisions I make to co-author my life alongside God. Ryan Holiday challenges us to stop being slaves to temptation and start putting ourselves up for review. He shares why silence is a superpower in today’s noisy world and how journaling helps him stay aligned with his North Star. Lewis Howes and I break down why doing the hard things first in your day sets the tone for greatness and why managing time differently will absolutely change your life. Dave Sparks brings it home when he reminds us that true fun comes from reaching your potential—not from chasing fleeting moments. And Jamie Kern Lima asks the kind of questions that get to the heart of what resilience, purpose, and dreaming really look like. This episode isn’t about theory—it’s about what we actually do to reinvent ourselves, build resilience, and stay intentional every single day. I share personal stories—like learning to ride horses at 52 and what that taught me about progress and joy. These conversations will help you break free from the patterns that keep you stuck and give you the tools to start creating a future you’re excited about. So let’s get after it. Let’s stop living on autopilot and start designing a life worth remembering. You’re closer to your dreams than you think—and it starts with one more decision, one more inconvenient action, one more commitment to the life you were born to live. Key takeaways: - How to align your life’s design with what you truly want to feel, experience, and achieve. - Why resilience is built through doing inconvenient things again and again. - The practice of creating in stillness and anchoring your vision through physical action. - How to harness the power of self-examination and silence to stay on track. - The importance of managing your time in mini-days for greater productivity and fulfillment. Share this episode and MAX OUT! Thank you for watching this video—Please Share it and get the word out! 👇 SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIprGZAdzn3ZqgLmDuibYcw?sub_confirmation=1 ▶︎ Visit My WEBSITE | https://www.EdMylett.com #EdMylett #Motivation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster and that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward slash ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about 5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with

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You're going to get a free tuition free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward slash Ed. That's growthday.com forward slash Ed. Advantage Gold is giving away a free copy of Rogoff's book to anyone who schedules a one-on-one precious metals appointment. You'll discover why gold is becoming the number one hedge against a global currency ship and

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Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. What we're going to talk about today very briefly is reinventing your life. And I was looking it up, people ask me all the time, Ed, can you talk, you know, give us some of the keys about how to reinvent my life. So I looked it up a little bit and I thought, what does invent mean? What's the definition of invent? Right. And the definition of invent is to create or design something that has not existed before.

And so what we're really talking about today is creating something, but more importantly, designing things in your life that have never existed before. And so, and then I looked up reinvent, like is there a difference between invention and reinvention? And reinvent talks about changing something, so much so that it appears to be entirely new. So today is really about two things.

It's about inventing or designing something new in our life and taking control of the design of our life and changing something, right? So it's about designing and changing. That's how we invent and reinvent things in our life. So when's the last time that you just gave yourself the gift of taking a look at your life and designing it? Now, as a person of faith,

I believe that you're the co-author of your life. You and God co-author all of the chapters of your life. And in any given time, you can grab a pen a pen a new pen and just decide you're gonna design a new chapter of your life and a new difference in your life A new direction in your life. But when's the last time you actually asked yourself if I want to do that What are the things I want to change about my experience? You know recently I've had some very good friends pass away at very young ages. My friend Jesse Lee Ward passed away at 34 years old. And I just think sometimes we think we have forever to get around to deciding our life to be the one that we want,

or we have forever to change things. But what if you don't have forever? What if that needs to start right now? Like this second, as you're listening to me or watching me today, start to ask yourself the questions that matter. When's the last time you gave yourself the gift of what do I want my life to look like? And am I truly one of the designers of that life? Do I have any input, any control over it? And I'll tell you that I believe you do. I believe God gives you free choice and free will in your life. You do have free will you do have choice you do have input along with God's blessings in your life and So ask yourself this question just as we begin today

What do you want it to look like? so specifically What do you want to feel in your life? What are the emotions you want to experience more of going forward? What would you like to experience? What are the emotions you want to experience more of going forward? What would you like to experience? In your life, what memories do you want to build? What achievements and accomplishments do you want to have in your life? What relationships do you want? What do you want to look like? Where do you want to live? What do you want to drive? How do you want to feel? What do you want to have matter to you? First thing when you wake up in the morning, what would you like to feel in the morning? Have you ever asked yourself that? Like right when I wake up, what do I want to feel?

Do I want to feel excited and grateful and proud and looking forward to my life? Or do I want to wake up and feel worried and angst or boredom or stress? What do you want to feel? When's the last time you took control over that? How would you like to spend the hours of your life? Where would you like to retire someday? What are the things you want to do for other people? Just begin to ask yourself and take an inventory of these questions. It's such a great gift. You know, dreaming is free. It doesn't cost you anything.

Yet so few people give themselves the gift of just dreaming again. Just designing again just creating again. I Mean this idea that some of you would dispute whether or not you have any control over the design of your life You have to look no further than your own body Is it God's will that you're 50 pounds overweight or not strong? Is that God's will or do you have some choice over what your body looks like? Of course you do. You have choice over the food you put in your body. You have choice over the working out you do or don't do, the cardio you do or don't do, the disciplines that you have. Now, are there things out of your control? Could you get

a disease? Could there be a genetic issue in your life? Yes, but so there's this balance between destiny and design. But all we can do in our life is pray in our lives that we have some insights into the direction and the destiny that we should be pursuing. But at the same time, we should take control over all of the things that we can design, that we can change. And so how do you want to live? Who and what do you want around you? Begin to ask yourself this. And I'm going to recommend a few things to you.

You know, there's this notion in personal development that I talk about a lot too, which is to be fully present. You hear that a lot, don't you? Be present, be in the moment, live in the moment, find more presence. Don't worry so much about the past and don't look into the future so much. And there's a lot of validity to that, but I'm going to say something that if you're going to reinvent your life, one of the things that you have to do is to have a compelling future. You ever have a morning where you wake up and you know that night,

you've got something cool you're going to do. Like you're going to have a dinner with a great friend or a romantic evening with a loved one, or you're going to go to a ball game or a concert or a comedy show or see a movie you've wanted to see. Doesn't that expectation that looking forward help you get through the morning? Doesn't it? Of course it does. Or if you've ever been about to have a family and you're, if you're a woman you're pregnant or if you're a husband your spouse is pregnant, that looking forward to something.

I think human beings need to live in the present, but this notion that you should have no forward projecting of what you're looking to have in the future is someone who's gonna have a formula for not being very happy. I think human beings need something to look forward to. Even in your faith life, like if you wanna break that down, if we're gonna get really honest,

you know, part of whatever your faith is, whether you're a Christian or a Muslim or you're of Jewish descent, whatever your faith might be, isn't part of that faith, the promise of the future in heaven or paradise that you have something to look forward to beyond where you are? Of course it is. Of course that exists. And so a human being that needs to live fully present, yes, but it also has something they look forward to that they're working towards. The other thing is that progress is power. That you find me a human being who may not be where they want to be, but they feel like they're making progress in getting there,

I'll show you somebody pretty happy. So I think the first step is to ask yourself what do I want to design and what do I need to change? But then the next thing is progress. To look forward to something and be making progress. There's all this data now that studies the brain about dopamine, which is our pleasure chemical, that essentially says this, that in the pursuit of your goal, in the making the progress towards something that you want, that you have a greater hit of dopamine in the brain, much higher levels than when you actually achieve it in the present moment. That actually there's a crash of dopamine that happens after the achievement that falls

off the earth, it just goes away. And so this pursuit, this idea of progress, of growth in our life is such a requirement to peace and happiness and bliss. So yes, be in the present, but you better be making progress towards something because that's when you're getting all the dopamine and you got to be growing and changing. And here's the thing about growth and change. I want to say something to you. Human beings underestimate their capacity to get good at something that they get

fully intentional and immersed in. I mean, they begin to dedicate a full focus in something. Human beings have an amazing capacity over even a short window of time like a year and getting great at something they were no longer great when they get completely committed and dedicated towards it. So one of the things I want to recommend to reinvent your life is not only things in your career that you want, benchmarks, achievements, give yourself the gift of all of that, but what's something new you could try? Take you all the way back to when you were a child Why are children so happy? Well, I think one of the reasons is they were most recently closer to God that number one. Number two, they haven't learned all these patterns of limiting beliefs and had all these people project their small mind and their small thinking their small way of life. Also as a child, you've not had the accumulation of rejection and let downs just yet,

but there's a few other things too. So all of those, if those are things that make us happy, then the elimination or the reduction of those would make us happier now. So we can reinvent, we can reinvent that, but there's a few other things that children have. They don't want to be present, don't they? At the same time, when you were a child, you weren't just fully present. You were looking forward to it, weren't you?

Because everything's new. You're learning and changing and growing. You're making progress all the time, whether that be in school or a sport you picked up or something you were learning. As a child, you were starting to make progress and grow and change and try new things because everything's in front of you

This is something as an adult we begin to rob ourselves from where there's nothing new. There's no progress. There's no growth. There's there's no change There's no real difference. There's nothing to look forward to in our life. I mean think about when you were a kid I remember when I was a young boy I remember thinking I can't wait till I can learn how to ride a bike. And the dream of learning to ride a bike and do that. And I remember when I got to like 12, 13 years old, that anticipation of, oh my gosh, someday I'm going to have a car and be able to drive. Remember that? Or someday I'll be in school where I won't have my own schedule. I'll be in college. I'll have freedom of my time. Or when I was, you know, 18 know 18 19 years old I can be legal to drink at 21 right and even in college there's a happiness

level or in youth because you're looking forward to what your career is going to be and what your life's gonna look like and then at some point we just get into our life don't we and now there's not as much progress there's not as much growth there's not as much change there's not as much growth. There's not as much change. There's not as much designing. Listen to me Anything you want to get great at that you become fully passionate about and fully committed to and dedicate a lot of time to You will get great at there's this study out That's out right now that a human being who picks up a new hobby who dedicates three hours a week to it for a year regardless of what the hobby is finds themselves in the top 5% in the world in that hobby within one year because most

people dabble most people don't do anything most people don't get creative at all most people change things at all they don't design things at all so this is how you reinvent your life try some new stuff get a new design get a new dream recall check in with yourself, do an audit. Is my old dream still my dream? Is this thing I thought I wanted what I want anymore? As I get closer to it or further from it or I have it, is it what I thought I wanted?

Is this progress still juicing me? Or is it time for a new design? Time for a new change? Time to reinvent or invent yourself? You should be kind listen to me All of the structures of your body are being reborn all the time You could look you can Google it your lung tissue is redesigning itself on a very regular basis So are your bones your skeletal tissue your cellular structure is reborn on a very regular basis So should your spirit so should your mind its nature?

For it to be reborn the lung tissue you currently breathe with will not be the same tissue it'll be literally totally different a few years from now same with your digestive tract same with your skeleton it remakes itself same with your skin same with your cells the body sheds the old and reinvents the new it redesigns itself it recalibrates itself. It changes itself. This is nature.

But it's not nature to do it in our mind. It's not nature to do it in our spirit. So how about this? You get clear on those things. Really intentional. How do I want to feel when I get up in the morning? What are the emotions? Who are the people?

What do I want to look like? What do I want to see? I haven't seen. Where do I want to go? I haven't gone. Who do I want to connect with? What's my body going to look like? What's my energy level going to look like? What do I want to be good at? How do I want to feel about myself? What memories do I want to create? This is how we begin to reinvent ourselves. Take an inventory, take an audit. What things that I used to want, I don't want anymore. I don't want them. What progress do I need so I'm getting that dopamine hit and then the more I achieve it my vibrational frequency picks up it's a muscle I build and all of a sudden you know the scary

thing those of us that are listening to this they're watching this that know that what I'm saying is a hundred percent true. You can increase your vibrational frequency so high when you start drawing things into your life that you want that you actually have to start to really be careful about what you think about because you're gonna draw that into your life as well. A lot of people right now listening to this that have been achievers or have had good things happen go he's right because it is a muscle. I got to the point in my life many times where the things I thought about that I reinvented that I focused on that I got to the point in my life many times where the things I thought about that I reinvented that I focused on that I got

Intentional about I drew them into my life And I got so good at doing it that I had to start to be careful that I didn't start to focus on my problems And my worries and my fears Because I got so good at drawing what I thought about into my life I started to draw right to me my fears and worries because you increase your vibrational frequency And so again I can talk about energy and vibrational frequency. And so again, I can talk about energy and vibrational frequency and not understand that there's a blessing, not understand

that there's a grand design for our life, not understand that you can have all the best plans in the world and God still has his hand on your life. I get all that, but just like in your body, you have free will. You have free will. You have choice. Yeah, being present matters, but having something to look forward to in life is the juice of life. This be present thing is getting a little bit overcooked for me. And you know exactly what I'm talking about. I don't want to just be present every single second of my life. I actually want to take some time in the present to think about the future. Any of you that are raising children, can you imagine telling your kids just be fully present. Don't think about your future at all. Don't think about any of your choices. Don't have any dreams.

Don't have any future. Don't have any vision for your life. Of course you should. Your whole faith, if you have faith, is predicated on doing things in the present, but understanding there's a promise for you in the future, and you get to look forward to it. So this self-help stuff that I'm a part of about being fully present, like everything, the pendulum has swung way too much to the other side, and there's not enough people future dreaming, designing, creating a life.

You're the designer and the architect of your life along with God. Now, back to this, you underestimate the power of what you could be doing if you were fully focused on something just even in one year. Remember that. Someone who dedicates three hours to a new hobby or business or routine within one year

is in the top five percentile in that in one year. So I'll give you an example of my own life. Like my business life's gone pretty well. You know, there's things in my life that I would want to change, but I have picked up a couple new hobbies this year because I want to grow. I want to have something to look forward to. So two of them, one is I'm learning Spanish, which I talk about on the show. And I'm excited about the fact that I'm getting better. I've dedicated more and more time. I was just in Costa Rica and when I was down there I was using my Spanish pretty

well. The second thing is just totally random, but I decided I wanted to learn to ride horses this year. I'm 52 years old. I wrote, I rode a horse for 15 minutes when I was eight years old with someone holding onto the horse. It's the only time I've ever ridden a horse in my life. Now I'm lucky. I mean I bought this island that I own and and what came with that island was these horses and I understand not everybody's blessed enough to own one. But by the way, one of the reasons I own the island that I own is because all of my

life I've been a dreamer. All of my life I've been designing my life. All of my life I've been praying for guidance and comfort and strength and blessing and understanding. Most all of my life I've been working my ass off and dedicating hundreds and thousands of hours towards my businesses that would eventually provide that. I'm always asking myself what do I need to change and what do I need to create? So this stuff I'm teaching produced the fact that I eventually got to the point financially where I could own this Island. And what came with that Island was some horses.

And the first few times I was down there with the horses, I'm like, Oh, these guys give me peace. They're so beautiful. They don't judge you. They don't care that you're rich or that you're poor or that you've made mistakes in your life or that you're perfect. And so I started, I literally went on Google and bought three books and then I started asking friends of mine who owned horses and then I took some horse riding lessons and then I took riding lessons from someone else and I've learned the difference between a bridle, right, and a halter. I've learned how to saddle a horse. I've learned English and Western.

I've learned the different pressure points on. I've learned English and Western. I've learned the different pressure points on the horse when you're riding them. I've learned how to hold the reins correctly. I've learned double reins. I've learned single reins. I know the difference between a gallop and a trot. Right. I've learned how they feed. I understand their shoes. I understand. I didn't know what shoes were. I didn't know it. And I look back now eight months, all the things I know about horses that I knew nothing about. It's like hundreds of different little things, right?

Like tons of really good friends of mine that are in the horse. Then I bought another horse. Then I bought another horse. Now I know the different types of horses. I know how to care for the horses. I'm still a really crappy rider of horses because I'm eight months in, but imagine what I know that I didn't know eight months ago. I've, I've learned a lot about horses in a year, like just the terminology. I'm probably in the 5% out cause 95% of people know nothing.

Now I'm at the bottom of the 5% tile, but can you imagine in another year with another hundred hours of riding, how much more I'm gonna know and You know what's true I Think I'm enjoying horses more than some of the best riders in the world because it's not about that. It's about progress I'm getting a dopamine hit. I've probably read 30 books on horses now I've worked with three different trainers I've worked with three different trainers

Isn't it's awesome and I'm 52 and it gives me something to look forward to it gives me this vibrational frequency that I'm growing And so maybe that sounds crazy to share that with you, but it's been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life and humbling See the older we get The more we don't want to look bad. The more it will become a collection of patterns and behaviors and thoughts. And our life just sort of goes on repeat. We drive on the freeway and we don't even need to think about the exit we get off of anymore. It's so autopilot.

We just do it and we're at the house. And then you go, how'd you get home today? And you don't even remember. I don't want to get home to heaven someday and not have anything to remember in my life. And metaphorically, and literally in many people's lives, they're just now going through the patterns and the emotions. They do the same five or six things with the same five or six people and wonder why they're not happy because they haven't reinvented anything. So pick a new business, pick a new hobby, pick a new interest.

Start painting, start listening to different music, start doing something to just reinvent you. Because guess what? As I said earlier, you're being reinvented all the time on the inside. Digestive tract, lung tissue, your organs, your bones, your cells. What about your spirit? What about your mind? Now, how do I change this, Ed? Here's one of the things I found out. Watch this. Create in stillness, trigger and anchor in motion. So let me tell you what I mean by that. Get still, get quiet, listen to your spirit, let your intuition begin to speak to you. In my case, let God begin to speak to you. Get very quiet, get very still, give yourself the gift of some meditation time

or some quiet time or some alone time and just allow it to be. And I think you'll begin to hear things and feel things that were always there, but the world's too noisy around you and you're too caught up in your patterns to do anything about it. You know, this is great saying that says the average person dies at 25. We just don't get around to burying them and putting them in the ground until they're 75 or 80 Don't be that person anymore You can be reborn and become alive again today

So get quiet and ask yourself these questions And then once you start to get some of those answers you trigger and anchor them in motion Because life is physical you anchor and trigger things in your physiology So what i've done is i've actually really loved to get quiet and ask myself, what would be something I'd be interested in? What should I like to try? What would I like to experience? And then once I've got a vision for what that is, then when I'm moving, when I'm doing my cardio at the gym, when I'm walking somewhere, right?

I do something physical to trigger and anchor the picture of it and allow yourself to use all of your senses. What would it look like? What would it feel? What would you hear? What would other people be saying to you? The more senses you can involve in this vision in the dream the better and then anchor it So when I'm doing cardio and working out, I'm actually picturing my goals and my dreams and my vision I'm anchoring it in my body physically. You notice I'm snapping my fingers a lot One of the things when I visualize my goals, I snap my fingers. Visualize my goals, I snap my fingers. Visualize my goals I snap my fingers. Visualize my goals I snap my fingers. That's anchoring and triggering inside of me a physiology that produces it and then the reverse can be true. When I'm not feeling like it, when I don't want to

do it, I can go to that physical trigger and it reinstates the vision for me. It reverses itself out. Let me say it to you again. Create in stillness, anchor and trigger in motion. This is something you're probably not ever gonna hear anywhere else, and I saved it for the end of the show. So I like to create in the stillness and listen to the words of the universe and have God speak to me. And for me, it's just me and Jesus having a conversation. Sometimes it's the Holy Spirit giving me some discernment and just some sense of direction. And then once I've got that, I want to start moving. And when I move, I picture, I hear, I feel that dream coming real, and I anchor it and I trigger it so that when I'm not feeling it, I can then do that cardio and it comes back out. I can do that

snapping of my fingers and it comes back out. I can do that walk and it comes back out. I can do that snapping of my fingers and it comes back out. I can do that walk and it comes back out. That's why when you work out, you go, my gosh, I'm getting clearer on my vision and my goals. I'm getting clearer on my dream. Because when you begin to move your body in a particular way and it's anchored in there, it brings it back out in reverse. And so for me, I use my body as an anchor and a trigger for my goals and dreams. And that way when I'm not feeling it in my mind, in my spirit, in my emotions, I can use my body to trigger that state,

to trigger that dream, to trigger that vision for my life and shift me back into action and increase my vibrational frequency. As you increase that vibrational frequency, you begin to draw those things into your life. The truest and highest form of vibrational frequency, you begin to draw those things into your life. The truest and highest form of vibrational frequency in the world, the highest vibrational frequency in the world is truth and congruency. Meaning that when something is true or it's congruent to what you want, it's high, it's vibrating

at the highest frequency possible. And so once you're in that zone of this is what I want, this is my truth, this is what's congruent to me, this is what I'm going to do, you vibrate at a high frequency. You draw that into your life football. You'll watch Peyton Manning was the quarterback. He'd say Omaha that was a play but it was also a trigger Tom Brady Let's f and go right it could be yes It could be whatever but it's a trigger word or a trigger move that triggers that state And so create these triggers for yourself so that when you're not feeling it, you can override your emotions with physiology.

You can override emotion with physiology. These are some of the things that I believe can help you reinvent your life. This is a never ending process. When I was young, I got taught this process called Kani, C-A-N-I, constant and never ending improvement. Constant and never ending improvement, C-A-N-I, constant and never ending improvement. And what I'm here to tell you is that this is a constant and never ending process in your life.

And the happiest people that I've meet in my life are constantly and never-ending improving. So although they're fully present they are also working hard on their future, reinventing their future, inventing and changing things, co-authoring their life with their God. And I'd recommend you do these things today to reinvent your life. I'm going to remind you of something. This is just part of the pie, by the way, part of the puzzle. You were born to do something great with your life. Maybe you've heard me say that before, but maybe you never have. And maybe no one's told you in a while.

But I want to tell you, you were born, you were made to do something great with your life. And if you're having a hard time picturing what these things are that you want to do, it probably involves serving other people. It probably involves experiencing things with other people. And you were born to help those people in big ways and small ways. You're most qualified in life to help the person that you used to be. And there's a lot of people who need you to become the new you,

because that's who you used to be the new you because that's who you used to be once you change. The more you grow, the more you change, the more you leave previous versions of you behind and that leaves a bunch of people you can help as you grow and change. So you're probably smart enough to know when something isn't working. And for me, when I'm off, even my cognitive function, I always kind of decide what's going on with my gut. So when there's things going on like you can't focus at work, your stomach's bothering you, it feels like

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Dot-com promo code Ed These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or condition. These statements and information are not a substitute for or an alternative to seeking care from your health care providers. This message is sponsored by Greenlight. So, I gotta tell you something. I've done a pretty good job with my kids in a few areas and some not so good in others, but the one I did a great job on was when it comes to money. I gotta tell you something would have been a whole lot easier if we had Greenlight. Greenlight is a debit card and money app made for families that helps kids learn

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are already learning about it. They're already using the app. It's top rated everywhere you go. So start your risk-free Greenlight trial today at greenlight.com slash ed. That's greenlight.com slash ed to get started. greenlight.com slash ed. Very short intermission here folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Dead. and to prove that to all of us. He's got a new book out called Discipline is Destiny, The Power of Self-Control, but he's written a bunch of different New York Times bestsellers. We're gonna have an amazing conversation today about you with him.

Ryan Holiday, welcome to the show. Yeah, thanks for having me. In the book, you say perfectionism is actually a vice. Yeah. Right, that's a strong term to make, right? And I think the reason most people that struggle struggle is they have a higher threshold of how good or prepared they think they have to be to take an action

in order to not take, in other words, most people I know that are pretty successful or happy have a lower threshold of how good they think they have to be at something before they'll begin it. They'll step into a space and say, I'll figure it out when I get there. And when I get there, I'll figure out the next space. That doesn't mean they don't practice preparation.

It doesn't mean I'm more confident in today's interview because I prepared my ass off for this, right? But I also know something could happen that I'm not prepared for, and it doesn't cause me to not pursue this craft. That's totally right. I think the more you've done, the more experience you have, the more confidence you have in yourself. And so you can remember how things were when you have, the more confidence you have in yourself.

And so you can remember how things were when you started, which is not anywhere close to where they were when you finish. There's a Hemingway quote, I have it on a poster on my wall. He says, the first draft of everything is shit, or anything is shit, I forget. But I did a version of it where I marked it up. Like even that sentence,

that didn't come out perfectly formed, he shaped that. And so writing as a metaphor, you get comfortable with first drafts. You go, if I don't do it because I want it to be perfect, it will never be good. And then I can't polish it to perfection, right? And then perfection itself does not exist. It's the horizon.

It's always a little bit further away. And so if you get come like, for me, it's like, I'm just trying to make something that exists, then I can edit it and shape it and change it and prove it. But if I'm so first off, high on my own supply, so convinced I'm a genius, whatever, I'm never gonna actually do it. And then it will be perfect in my head, but it won't ever be shippable.

Oh man, that's really true. Speaking of firsts, I love this. You say, do hard things first. Yeah. Why? Well, writing is the hard thing in my profession. So it's like, I don't allow myself to make up a bunch of other stuff that I do first to get then distracted.

Like, I think breakfast meetings should be illegal, right? Breakfast coffees, morning staff meeting. No, go do the work. Then once we've made some headway, then we have the luxury of going, hey, what's the next thing we need to be thinking about? Like, if you're, again, if you're putting it off, you're gonna come up with reasons

that you never have to get to it. Brother, I'm a disciplined person, I'd like to think. And here's how right he is. You actually write about someone that I work with in your book, I won't say who it is, but she used to run a country. And I work out first in the morning. It's one of the first things I do.

And the reason it's one of the first things I do is because it's hard for me. And after 30 some odd years of being in gyms, it's not my favorite place to go anymore. It just isn't. So I have to do it early in the day. Well, some of my coaching has started to happen overseas, which means they're up.

I have to get up really early to do these coaching calls with some of these people. One of them is a woman in your book. And on the days where I coach her, I don't work out early in the day, right? And I have it kind of scheduled like around 11 o'clock. I'm just being real with you. All of a sudden around 11.30, I'm on Instagram again.

12.15, I'm doing emails. One o'clock, you know what? I'll do it at five o'clock after dinner. No, this is me and I've trained for 35 years. There have been several days, I just didn't work out those days. And it's pathetic, but it's because you should do hard things first in your day.

You've proven it, and I'm evidence of it with this hard work. You're like, I gotta change. You know, I got this other thing. Then I gotta take a shower after. Exactly. Get it out of the way. Yes.

And that's how I think about it. Like, writing is the win every day for me, because that's what I do. If my thing was training people, I would do the training. Whatever the win, you gotta do that, cross it off. And then if you get to the other stuff, that's extra. Yeah. Right, it can't be you do the extra

and then maybe you get to the main thing. I spoke to the Rams a couple of years ago and they said, the main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing. Like, what is that for you? And then is your day built around it? Yes or no. Because if it's not, what does that say? It's very true.

So like, I just got a coaching call yesterday with some entrepreneurs. I'm like, are you actually moving the needle with what you're doing? And you can look at your life in your day that way. Early in your day, are you moving the needle on your day? Are you kicking the needle down the road, so to speak?

And it's just, and also you get momentum. Well, what's the thing, the way I think about it too is like, what are the things that only I can do? Right? Everything else you outsource, but it's like, what is the main driver here? For me, it's like, am I writing, coming up with the ideas? The other stuff is important,

but it's downstream from that. Really good point. And you gotta know what that is. Like the most powerful law in economics is the law of comparative advantage, right? If I pick apples better than you and you pick oranges better than me, we can't both be picking each other's stuff. We got to find our lane, stick to it.

And then that makes the whole economy grows as a result of that. So good. So good. So good. The, uh, we should have done the three hours that I told you. I want to keep going. I told him we're not going three hours. I eat in a Rogan, but I kind of want to go through. We. I wanna keep going. I told him, we're not going three hours, like he didn't really want, but I kinda wanna go three hours. I don't have anywhere to go. We won't go that far, but. So the part of the work that affects me the most, maybe it's the crux of the work,

and maybe it's only the crux of the work for me, right? I bet different parts of what you're writing about. But you talk a lot about having the, I'll use my terminology and you can correct me, the discipline to deny or pass on temptation in life, right? So it's this idea that there's temptation and someone who is, I guess, practicing more stoicism than someone who is not has developed the ability

to not give into those temptations, whatever they might be in life. The thing I have seen hurt most humans in my life has been their inability to deal with temptation. A, they become successful and now they get the temptation if they're a guy of women or the temptation of, I've saved a bunch of money, the temptation to spend it. Drugs. Drugs, whatever it might be.

Also the temptation to watch Netflix, the temptation to be gluttonous, the temptation, and this is for anybody in life, but there's these temptations that we sort of have this intuitive knowing, pull us from who we best are, that we give into every single day in different ways in most parts of our life. And the most happy and involved people I know do it less. They don't do it never, but they do it less.

Yeah, Seneca, he says, show me a man who isn't a slave, right? One to his mistress, one to power, one to recognition. He says, even the slave master is a slave to the slaves, right? The idea that like your big enormous estate, it like, do you own the company or does the company own you?

Right? And so I think deciding, like we were talking about with the phone, like who's in control, me or it? And the ability to go like, I don't do that. I'm not gonna, that's not for me. I don't care if everyone does it. I don't care if you think I'm weird for doing it. It doesn't work for me.

It's not part of my life. And the ability to have those lines. Like I always respect people. We make fun of people who have like weird dietary things. And it was like, no, they decided they don't eat this and that's a rule they follow. I respect that when I see it, right? And what I tend to find is that that's a transferable skill.

Right, so the ability to say like, I don't do X also allows you to say, I don't do Y, right? And so sometimes cultivating that is really important. The ability to say, like there's a famous story about Richard Feynman that I tell in the book that is really important. The ability to say, like there's a famous story about Richard Feynman that I tell in the book that is the physicist. He's sort of walking to work one day and he just feels this pull like in the middle

of a morning to go have a drink. And he's not an alcoholic. He has no moral argument against drinking, but he doesn't like that feeling. That feeling of like, go do this. Cause that wasn't him. that was some part in him. And that he never drinks a day again in his life. And I think you want to cultivate that.

Like what are the things that you're sort of compulsively doing? The things that just sort of, you're powerless to do. Once the idea comes in your head, that's what you want to develop the muscle, the ability to be like, nah, not anymore. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that's really good. So the thing that pops in your mind

that's that compulsive temptation is probably the thing. That's the signal. Yes. Okay, right. And then developing the ability to be like, I can stop doing compulsive things is really important. Right? That's strength, right? Lots of strong people can lift heavy things, but then they are powerless. That's what Seneca's saying.

They're powerless over this thing. Think about some of their super powerful world leader, but they're obsessed with checking their, you know, their mentions or something, right? Or they're obsessed with dominating people, where they can't stop this impulse. And then that ultimately or inevitably tends to lead

to their destruction in some way. So is it a little bit about, and I don't know that it is, so I wanted to ask you, is it a little bit about chipping away at one's excessive? I think so. Yeah, not getting perfect, but chipping away, it's not just doing the right things, but chipping away at the things that make us less

than we're capable of being? I think that's right. I mean, temperance, the word, is about what's the right amount. So some things, the right amount is zero, right? But a lot of things, it's an appropriate, healthy amount. And beyond that point, it starts to get a problem. Like, again, like, it's almost easier to be like, I don't drink, than to be like, this is when I stopped drinking.

Right? Like, I've had enough. And this is also true for success. Like think about how many boxers can't leave when it's enough. You're right. Right? And then they go too far and that's their downfall. And so again, cultivating the ability to be like,

I decide when this stops. You're right. And when you're listening to this, you might go, well, mine's not drinking or drugs or porn or sex or spending money. Is it worry? Is it worry? Is it anxiety? Is it fear? Is it anger? Control?

Control. Good one. Control. Well, you just hit one of mine. Yeah, like the micromanaging thing. Like, you're like, why don't people like working for me? Right, right. You're not fun to work for. Yeah, yeah. It's about... I think overall, it's the knowledge of getting quiet

and more self-aware and understanding oneself. Is that the basis of the work, would you say, to some extent? And I think that's what Marcus is doing in meditations. He's talking to himself and working it out on the page. Like, your thoughts can deceive you, but when you put them down and you have to have that discussion,

you go, oh yeah, right. Yeah, I mean- Putting yourself up for review, the stoic setting. Putting yourself up for review. That's a difficult thing to do. Well, it's uncomfortable. Yeah, it's uncomfortable.

And I'm doing it lately. It's interesting for my audience to be in real time. You know, I think they're surprised often, because you know, the other part of me is like, okay, here's how you do all these things. But I'm also a work in progress. In other words, even for the audience, I don't wanna be the same guy next year I am this year

that I have not that same, I wanna, my values diminish to the world if I'm the same person. I ought to have new distinctions and new wisdom and new breakthrough, and so should you that are listening to this. Okay, beware this madness. What is that? That's the part, that's part of the book I'm like,

what is that? I'm talking about when you lose, we're talking about losing control. When you lose control over your emotions, that sort of temporary burst of insanity, anger, frustration, resentment, fear, lust, right? When you're losing control of yourself, you're defenseless in the face of that thing.

I tell the story of Sam Cassell, the basketball player. He hits this great shot. As he's running back to celebrate, he can't stop himself from taunting the opponents. And he does this, they call it the big balls dance. He acts like he's cradling these huge balls. But he fractures his hip in doing this. Right?

It is out basically the rest of the series. They don't go all the way to, they don't win the finals. The idea of like, anytime you're doing, it's not that the Stoics were against emotion. I think they were out, they were against doing things when consumed by emotion, right? Or letting emotions overwhelm you, right? So it's like, you get some, you know, rude email.

That's not to say you should let someone talk to you that way, it's not to say you shouldn't respond, but like responding with anger is not gonna improve things. So the ability to be like, I'm gonna step back, I'm gonna do this calmly. Almost everything is done better calmly. A hundred percent. By the way, I call it equanimity in my book.

Calmness under duress, right? Staying in that moment and staying in that. Silence's strength is something you say. I really wanna spend a little bit of time on this. I think that silence is, it's free. Yeah. And it's yet almost never taken advantage of by our culture anymore.

And even for me, I just interviewed Colin O'Brady. He's got a new book called The 12 Hour Walk, and the concept of it is at least put your phone down for 12 hours and take a walk and take your light. I think more and more with all the noise in our lives in this day and age, people are becoming less and less familiar with silence. They want, a lot of people have to have someone else

around them or their phone on or the TV on or the radio on or something. And silence is this free space that is so beautiful and liberating that now as humans, we don't even take advantage of anymore. I was the director of marketing at American Apparel for a long time and I sort of watched the company go, whew, and all the way down.

And the CEO would call me sometimes like two, three in the morning. I would be asleep, he'd wake me up and he would just talk to me until he fell asleep. And at first, I was very young and I thought, am I this important? What is this? Is it that he really cares about?

And then I realized this man can't be alone in those two minutes that he's falling asleep. And what epiphanies, what changes, what reflections, what awareness might have come if you could have that space. Like it's possible now to fill every second with noise. That's what your phone is. And you have to cultivate that silence because it's in the reflection that you have ideas,

you have breakthroughs. I was at a pool one time, just getting in to go swimming and someone recognized me and said, Oh, I loved your books. And I said, I wrote those books in this pool. Like I swim in this pool because I can't hear anything. Just the, you know, my ears are underwater. It's like essentially, like, I'm alone with my thoughts, and the ideas come to me then.

And you have to cultivate that silence. It's, you're right, it's free, but it's also, like, the most valuable thing in the world. It is. It's why so many people tell me, my favorite moment of the day is when I'm in bed, and I hit the bed, and I'm like, well, if that's your favorite moment of the day, it's telling you that you're yearning for a little silence,

a little quiet. I find myself, even, if that's your favorite one of the day, it's telling you that you're yearning for a little silence, a little quiet. I find myself even like when I travel, when I shut the hotel room door and I'm in there alone, I'm like, oh, this is so good. Dudes who have kids, they got noisy lives. They spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom doing what they need to do in there.

And they just sit in this little room, do it because it's just a quiet time. That audit tell us all, we have this yearning for silence in our lives that the noise is not allowing us to appreciate how much we need or we want it in our lives. Yeah, and look, that's why I like getting up early in the morning, it's quieter then.

You know what I mean? Get up before the emails have really started and then you don't have to have as much strength or willpower to ignore them. What's a practice like, what's your life look like? And I have, look at all these philosophies, by the way, to me, it's just like really great stuff. It's soicism, but it's just really great stuff

on how to live a little better life. But what's like a practice that you do daily? Is it your meditation time that allows you to sort of participate more in this quality of work, or what is it that you do? My big morning practice, my meditation practice is journaling, sitting down and writing things down, creating some space between me and the thoughts.

And like we said, putting yourself up for review. I don't wanna wake up 20 years from now and go like, man, how did I get here? I wanna be doing that reflection on a regular daily basis and catch the things before. Like one of the things I'll notice in my journal is like, if I'm saying the same thing over and over again, well, I need to make some changes, right?

If I'm like, so tired today, so tired today. If I'm writing that three days in a row, like something's wrong with the decisions I'm making in my life. Really good. And I can make those, let's make those changes now before I end up somewhere unrecognizable. I think most people, bro, I love your work.

Like I really do. It's for me. It's for me. I know I've said that three times, but I just want to express to you my gratitude for it. The, I have a really good friend of mine who's made lots and lots of money and he's actually helped a lot of people too. He contributes and gives a lot of money away.

He spends a lot of time and he's unhappy. And by the way, on the surface, you'd go, wow, married to the same person, makes lots of money, gives lots of money away. This guy's living the life, kind. He doesn't give into a lot of temptation, frankly. He's a good dude and he's unhappy and he said I just can't figure out why I'm unhappy and I said I think I know and I said by and large brother you've lived a completely unexamined life. In other words there's never been time for self-examination and so many of us even

listening to this, this might be a breakthrough moment for so many of you. You may be doing good things, you may be growing, you may have all these things, but you're supposed to be examining your life to some extent. I love what you're saying, put yourself up for review. I use the terminology of an unexamined life. And, you know, we should check in with ourselves regularly because we may be so far down a path and winning down a path

that is no longer the path that we want to be on or need to be on, but we haven't even examined it for years and years and years, if ever. So that's sort of what you mean to the extent of putting yourself up for review is self-examination, right? Yeah. If you don't know who you are, what you want, what kind of life you want, you just end up defaulting to what everyone else is doing. Or what you used to want. What you've always done. Yeah.

Right? And so it takes an active practice of questioning and reviewing and talking, not just with yourself, but also with other people. Maybe you have a therapist, a spouse. Like you wanna be doing this now when you can steer the boat, not when you've ended up somewhere and you're stuck.

If you've been doing the same thing unquestioned for 20 years, changing course is now gonna be really expensive, really difficult. But if you've been making these micro adjustments as you go, those things cumulatively shaped the direction or the trajectory you're going. Yeah, and if you don't do that, you just end up living a pattern.

Yeah. It's just a pattern. It's a pattern of thoughts, a pattern of emotions, a pattern of behaviors, a pattern of people. And it just becomes, and if we're not careful, in our lives, I write about this in my work, our minds move towards what it's most familiar with. So if you don't ever have unfamiliar thoughts,

unfamiliar examinations, this journaling or this thinking, you just have a life that's a pattern. Well, it's like, what's your North Star, right? Like, what is the thing, not just your main thing, but like, what's the value, the purpose, like, what is the main thing you're trying to do that matters, right? And then how are you tacking or tracking against that, right?

Is this promotion you were just offered or this attractive stranger that sent you a drink in a bar, how does that get you closer or further away from that thing? Yes. I- Yes. I sometimes when I look at like major decisions in my life, like, hey, do you wanna move here and do this?

Like, hey, do you wanna take on this project? I go, when I look back and ask myself why I got divorced, is this that reason, right? But my North star is I wanna be a good spouse and father. Those, that's really important. My work is also very important to me. And these things are in a tension or a balance with each other.

But I don't want the fact that a cool opportunity is there over and over and over. You just default to saying yes to that. You're simultaneously saying no, no, no to these other people and these other things. And then you're telling yourself you're doing it for them, but you're not. You're just doing it because it's easier to say yes than it is to say no.

Yeah. Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Very good. So, yeah, I relate to that. You just end up sort of chasing the next shiny thing and not having an examination of what this means to the other things that matter to you because you don't have a true North Star. I have a true North Star in my life, but one of the things you say in the book

about this other people thing is, listen to this, guys, tolerant with others, strict with yourself. That's, if you can get to that nuance, you're one heck of an evolved human being. That's the highest level, right? It's easy to just, everyone should follow my rules, right? But it's called self-discipline for a reason, right? You only control this, like,

you only control the standards you set for yourself. And nothing will make you more unhappy than making up rules and then being upset that people who've never even heard these rules are not following them, right? They didn't sign up for this, right? You gotta be comfortable being like, this is important to me because it's important to me.

And if you wanna live your life your own way, I got to be okay with that. Uh, Cato, uh, Cato the Younger, he's this famous joke. He's the strictest guy on himself. He's fearless, he's incorruptible, you know, even though he's rich, he dresses in plain clothes, all this stuff. But his brother was the opposite. And he loved his brother. It's like Bruce Springsteen says,, all this stuff, but his brother was the opposite.

And he loved his brother. It's like Bruce Springsteen said, sometimes it's your brother, you gotta look the other way. You know, like you gotta go, you're you, you're living your life. If it works for you, it works for you. I can tell you why I don't think it's working for you, if you want my advice, but I'm not gonna criticize you,

resent you, and most of all, I'm not going to try to punish you for doing your things your way. These are all principles, just like when you hear them, you're like, yep, I'd live a better life if I did that. Yep, that would be better for me. Yep, that would be better for me. And it's a matter of, I think, reading for me, and if you don't read, you listen to audiobooks or whatever,

is a form of self-examination. When I'm reading, I might read a bit. I'm thinking, I'm read a bit, I'm thinking, I'm listening to what's being written, but I'm really reflecting on me as I'm reading the words. I think that's the most powerful way to read. On the sole part of the book, we can't cover it all, cause I wanna get the book.

By the way, again, we've covered like 2.3% now, but you say the power of giving power away, probably you've hit on the area that would be most difficult for me in terms of my evolution, would be the power of giving power away. What does that mean and what's like an application of it? But George Washington's greatest moment is when he resigns his commission in the Continental Army

and says, I don't want to be king. They said, he could have become king of America. And the King of England, when he hears this, he says, what's Mr. Washington going to do after he defeats the greatest empire in the world? And this painter says, I believe he's going to return to his farm. And he says, if he does that, he is the greatest man

in the world. To know when to step down, to know when to share, to know when someone is better than you at something, this is extremely hard and requires so much self-discipline. As majestic as that is for Washington, he repeats it again when he voluntarily leaves after two terms, but Mark Sebelius has chosen to be emperor. His father is an emperor, he's chosen,

but there's this pesky thing that he has a stepbrother. Right? And what does he do? I mean, historically, Machiavelli would be like, -"You gotta get rid of this guy." -"You gotta kill him." And the first thing Marcus does with absolute power is he anoints his brother co-emperor. And his brother also, opposite of him in so many ways, but he writes in Meditations, he says,

"'What I loved about his brother was how his character challenged me to improve my own. So he didn't try to make his brother a replica of himself, a mirror of himself. He used his brother where his brother could help him and where his brother had skills and he didn't. And he was willing to share and let him be him and Marcus be Marcus.

And he wasn't so insecure that he needed everything for himself. And I think so often we see great athletes, great entrepreneurs, great leaders, great politicians not know when their moment is over. And when, it's not to say they can't continue to contribute, but they're no longer the top spot. And if you can't, if you're so egotistical,

you can't plan for a legacy, you're gonna end up creating a legacy. It just won't be a positive one. Yeah, and by the way, that you're so right. It affects us in every day, even running our businesses too, thinking that we're the best at everything in our company, where we would give some of the control away

to someone who's actually better at these things and have the discernment to give some of that power away and let them go. Your company would grow, your life would grow. Maybe even in your family, maybe your wife is just way better at some of these things than you and you just ought to let her have them or reverse, your husband is. And I think oftentimes in life that that notion of giving the power is not easy for me. I'm a control person and it's something that that's part of my, my evolution as a man has

to be connected to that. And once you give them the power, letting them do it their way, right? So it's like, hey, you're in charge of this. Here's how I would do it, but I just want you to do it. However it works, that's on you. Again, this is tolerant with others, strict with yourself, like I'm going to allow you to be you.

I don't want, I'm not so rigid or insecure that I think everyone needs to be exactly like me. The way I do it works for me. We all have different processes, different backgrounds, different needs, skills, strengths, and we gotta respect that. You use the word insecure, but I can tell you, and it's correlated for me,

I know when I'm afraid to give away control and power. It's when I'm afraid, which is pretty close to insecure. It's when I'm afraid, like I'm afraid if I let you do this, my son's gonna go, if you handle the discipline, my wife, my son's gonna turn out to be like my dad and be a drug addict, or if I let you run this part of my company, I'm gonna go broke. I mean, these are ridiculous correlations we make,

but you have to ask yourself when you're not giving control away in your life to people around you, is that from coming from a place of fear or insecurity? Because I think most of the time, that's what you're operating out of when you're trying to hold on to control all the time. I think that's totally right. Speaking about that, we don't have too much more time

and I'm frustrated as heck about it, but I wanna go to the book a little bit more. By the way, everybody should get the book. Listen, when you read the book, a couple of things is you're gonna manage your own life better, lead your own life better. And there'll also be this part of you that you go, man, if you live in a particular country,

I live in the US, man, I wish our leaders had more of these characteristics. Man, I wish they had that one thing. You can even think of somebody, if they just had that one difference, how much greater they would have been. Their demise was that thing. You'll see these little pieces in the book.

And that could be your demise, also when you're reading the book. Ironically, you talk about Queen Elizabeth in the book. I'm just fascinated by the... You know, she... I've never spent any time thinking about this woman. Until obviously, lately, right? I've never spent any time thinking about her.

And I'm sort of fascinated when passing out, like, people really made a big deal about this. Maybe I was naive. You really write about her in the book. What is it that you loved about her so much or admired in her or characteristics you saw in her? I mean, first off, just to think she has the same job for 70 years and she shows up every day.

There is no on or off the clock. She is the queen. And unlike say Marcus or a president who has a lot of power, she has absolutely no power. Her job is her poise and her dignity, what she represents. And she has the same job for seven years. She never gives an on-the-record interview to a reporter. Think about everything she's seen, everything she knows.

Think about how wrong the press has been about her. Think about all the things she wants to say. And talk about silence. She says nothing. Because her job is to be impartial. And everything is being done in her name, literally, but she cannot say anything. But she manages to, every week she meets

with the prime minister. I think she was on her like 14th prime minister. So she is, I mean, she's personally trained by Winston Churchill. She knows so much. She is the most qualified. And she can't be like, that's a bad idea, don't do that. But she can, well, what about this?

Have you thought about this? I once heard this, right? So she has to develop how to be assertive without being aggressive. She has to keep, she has to be above the fray. She can't be distracted by the noise. And then also, I think what's particularly impressive about her, the monarchy 70 years ago, totally different than it is today,

and yet exactly the same, right? And so that's what tradition is. People think tradition is like keeping everything exactly the same. No, it's finding the North Star, the real things, and then everything else is negotiable. And they have this favorite, they have this famous motto inside the royal household, which is,

if things are going to stay the same, things are going stay the same, things are gonna have to change. And so she's malleable and adjustable about the things that don't matter. And then very firm and rigid about the things that do matter. And that's if you wanna last, if you wanna endure,

you look at someone who's been in the music business or someone who's been in professional sports or someone who's been business after business, everything's changed. And yet the core things, Jeff Bezos says, you focus on the things that don't change. You gotta know what those are, lock into them. Everything else, you're, what's new, what's best? That tension to me requires so much self-discipline.

Then you wanna talk about physical discipline. I mean, just imagine, like, she's millions of miles, shaking millions of hands. She, in 70 years, fell asleep in public one time. And she was like 85, and it was a lecture about magnets. You know? Is that right? Just the sheer toughness of this little old lady,

it puts all of us to shame. Yeah. I love that you honor, I also love your fascination with history. It's becoming a lost art form. And the more I'm, even reading your book, I'm a history buff too, but even reading your book, there's things I learned in the book.

And I'm like, yeah, that applies now. And I want to finish on it because I'm a baseball fan. So I opened up with this, but I want to finish with it. So Babe Ruth is probably the most well-known baseball player of all time. Maybe the most well-known athlete of all time, certainly pretty darn close. And you kind of in the book do this comparison

between Babe Ruth's gluttonous big ass and Lou Gehrig. And for everybody listening to this, this may sound obvious, but Lou Gehrig eventually passed from Lou Gehrig's disease or ALS, right? So, but Lou Gehrig is known as the Iron Horse. And that's sort of what I knew about him, is he just played in all these consecutive games.

2100 consecutive games. It's insane. Yeah. I don't think I knew what a great player he was. And I want you to talk about, I'm gonna give one thing away, because it just blew my mind. This dude's done, correct me if I'm wrong,

they like X-ray his hands or look at former X-rays. This dude had like 17 fractures in his hands. He broke every one of his fingers and never missed a game. That's insane. The sheer toughness that that requires, just like someone like Queen Elizabeth, to show up every day, not have an excuse, or even when you have an excuse, is immense.

I mean, he gets hit in the head in one game before the era of helmets, goes to the hospital, gets an x-ray, you know, he's knocked unconscious. They go, oh, he's gonna miss months. Even the pitcher that hit him goes, ah, streak's over. Next game, it's right in there. And he was like, look, I could have taken a day off.

It was that if I took that day off, that pitch would change how I play. Cause now I'd be, you know what I mean? He hits three triples that next game because he knows he has to get back in there. He can't let the excuse win. Oh, my gosh, bro. Like, and it's his relationship with discomfort and pain that made him different. Also, his...

He sort of embodies this, right? His unwillingness to give into temptation, which Ruth is doing all the time, drinking and eating. He walks into the Yankees' dugout, and they put these fancy cushions on it. He rips them out. He's like, cushions, the enemy, right? He wants it.

He wants to be tough. And look, Babe Ruth, amazing. But when you read about how Babe Ruth treated his body, you can't end his money. You can't think, what could a more disciplined Babe Ruth have done? So, you know, I talk about this, I wrote this book, Ego is the Enemy, it's the same with ego, same with this stuff. It's not that people who aren't disciplined are never successful.

It's not that people with big egos are never successful. Of course they are. Often because they're extremely talented, often because they're lucky, often because it's not like a death sentence, but it is a ceiling on your potential. Yes. And, you know, Babe Ruth's career is cut short

because he doesn't take care of himself. Lou Gehrig's career is cut short because of a tragedy. Yeah. You know, but which one did more in that time that they had, right? And- Unarguably, it's actually Gehrig. Yes.

Babe Ruth, I didn't know this. You taught me it. Babe Ruth calls the shot, hits a home run. Turns out Lou Garrick hit one that night too, right? Yeah. He's the workhorse of an athlete, which ultimately, I think over the long term, does more than the sort of, you know. You guys, his work is so damn good.

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Very short intermission here folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify links are in the show notes You'll never miss an episode that way. Here's a clip of Ed Mylett appearing on the podcast the school of greatness with host Louis house, what do you think's the biggest things that hold all of us back from achieving our dreams faster? Three biggest things. Well, one is the proximity to it. We really do believe it's further away.

We honestly believe this thing is like a 20-year thing. Because we believe that, we keep it there and we miss out on these possibilities in our life. The second one is I have a chapter in the book called on equanimity. I say one more level of equanimity. Equanimity is our ability to be calm under duress. So I said earlier, slow things down. The greatest athletes that we admire

can slow things down under pressure, they're calm. If you think of a Tom Brady, who's everybody's example in this age, is that when it's the noisiest in the crowds, the craziest, and it's the playoffs, and it's the highest stakes, for the average person, everything speeds up and they lose control.

Good friend of both of ours, Michael Chandler, fought this last weekend. It's a great win. Great win. And normally Michael, he's one of the greatest fighters in the world, but when he has been in duress in some of his fights, things speed up and he starts to do this brawl mode.

And I watched him in this fight, things started to not go his way. And he slowed things down and he started to show some Equanimity under duress and that's when things slow down and we can perform at our best so the second thing I would say is equanimity the third thing is I have a whole chapter in the book on the way you manage time and This is just there's so many heavy things in the book But the idea that still people manage a day in 24 hours is hilarious to me. That this archaic concept that a day is 24 hours

is bananas, like the 24 hour day was just made up by somebody about the sun and the earth going around each other, bills in, you know, 100 million years ago or whatever it was, and this is before there was electricity, there were cars, there was the internet, there was a smartphone. So you're gonna tell me I should measure my day

the same duration of time, I calibrate time, when the same dude didn't have the internet, there was a smartphone. So you're going to tell me I should measure my day the same duration of time I calibrate time when the same dude didn't have the internet. I used to have to do a project in high school. We'd have to go to the encyclopedia, go down to the library and research for hours. My kids can Google something in 10 seconds now and get, I can text message you instead of mailing you something that takes a month to get to you. So I've shrunk my days. My days now are from, my first day is from 6 a.m. to noon.

In that day, it's called a mini day. 6 a.m. to noon, I get into that day whatever I want. Some days are chill, some days are faith, some days are working out. But the amount, we've all had that morning where we go, I got done more this morning than I have in three weeks. So why can't that be every day? And it is, I can tell you.

So my first day is 6 a.m. to noon. At noon, the clock goes off, we're in day two. And I reevaluate really quickly for five seconds. What just happened? What did I do? What do I need to do more of? Next day is noon to 6 p.m. I'm gonna get the same amount of business, context, faith, fun, whatever it is in that ecstasy in that day. Third day is 6 p.m. to midnight. It's a third day. This gives me three days in one day. I get 21 days a week. If I get 21 days a week, you get seven. Stack that up over a month, a year, five, ten years, I'm going to smoke you in life. And I've bended and manipulated time so that my accountability is different. It's not the end of a day or end of a week or end of a month. It's at the end of a basically a six or eight hour window.

That's interesting. And other people respond to you differently because what is scarce is valuable People begin to respond to you differently when your time is more scarce when it's more precious And so it's completely changed my life the last 25 years running many days as opposed to 24-hour days huge Yeah, so those three things you're you're probably one of the best Enrollers I've ever met in Enrollment for me is the key to really accomplishing your dreams. Enrolling yourself that you're confident enough

and have the skills and the tools to develop what you need to, to have what you want, the relationship, the career, the business, the life, the health, but also enrolling others in your vision, in your dreams. Where did you learn this skill of enrollment? Of saying, I've got this idea, it's in the future. Most people think it's 30 years away.

I think it's three months away, which seems impossible. And I'm going to call these five people and convince them essentially, but enroll them in a vision that they didn't even know was a possibility in their mind. You're going to speak this vision into them, into their souls, and then they're going to say yes, vote for you, sign up for something, listen to something, interview with you, pay to speak, or whatever it might be. Give you lots of money, all these different things. How did you learn the art of enrollment? Okay, that's a great question, and in the book I have this whole chapter on leadership and vision, but like you ask the best questions, bro. I love you. So, two ways.

One, couple very special coaches that I had in my life that were great visionaries. And for some reason, I've always been fascinated with great orators, so I did my dissertation in college on Dr. King. Whatever your politics are, I think two of the great orators of all time are Ronald Reagan and John F. Kennedy, both of the different parties.

I just think they're tremendous orators. And they were great at painting these big visions. And then I read a book called Selling the Dream a long time ago written by a guy named Guy Kawasaki. And he's the guy that basically helped like Apple with Macintosh. Selling the dream? Selling the dream.

And he's a really unique dude. Yeah, I've met him a few times. Yeah, and so what the book's premise was this, is that great leaders are evangelical about their cause. They're evangelists, and they do that through public preaching, but they sell a big enough dream, so that the dreams of all the people

within their stewardship can fit inside the one they're selling. So even for you, with this whole media empire you're building, one of your big roles, man, is to sell a big enough dream for everybody that gets around you, guests, vendors, advertisers, the guys that work with you, the ladies that work with you, that it is so big and so compelling that

all of their dreams and visions for their life can fit inside that one. And then the key thing is to repeat it over and over and over. Most leaders get tired of hearing themselves talk. And by the way, this is true as being a mother or a father. As a father, my job is still a being. We're going to do something awesome as a family. I know, Dad. No, we're going to do something awesome. You as being a mother or a father. As a father, my job is still a being. We're gonna do something awesome as a family. I know, Dad. No, we're gonna do something awesome.

You're amazing. You're a superstar. I know, Dad. Doesn't matter. I'm telling them over and over and over again. Most leaders think, I gotta say something new to these old people. But the truth is you need to say something old

to new people. Keep saying it over and over and over again. Sell it big. Look at all the people you admire in your life. They're visionaries who are evangelical about their mission and their cause. Not necessarily the money or the cause. What's the cause?

Think about Oprah Winfrey. Think about Martha Stewart. Think about Dr. King. Think about Mother Teresa. Think about any leader. Think about Steve Jobs. You watch old videos of Steve Jobs? He wasn't selling megabytes.

I've asked Wozniak several times, tell me about Steve, what was he like? I said, by the way, why did you name the thing Apple? Just curious, man, what a weird name for a company. Back when companies weren't, he goes, well, and Wozniak's is almost like a savant. He goes, oh, well, really two reasons, Ed. A came early in the phone book,

so we wanted people to find us early. And Steve said, apples made him happy. And so great evangelists learned to link their cause and their mission to people's bliss. You can look at an old YouTube video of Steve Jobs and he's rolling out a Mac. He's not like, here's the speed. He's like, isn't she beautiful?

Wouldn't you like look at her curves? Wouldn't she make you happy to take her home? He's selling happiness in an inanimate object. McDonald's, number one seller of food in the history of planet Earth. The Happy Meal. Happy Meal, number one, the older real estate. They don't sell food, they sell happiness.

Their number one meal's a Happy Meal. Their mascot's a clown. It has nothing to do with food. They're in the evangelical dream selling happiness business. What's the number one thing they sell in there? Coca-Cola. You get a Coke and a smile. Happiness.

So great entrepreneurs, great parents, great people have this energy where they're selling you a dream that's big enough that you can fit inside it and the dream at the end is happiness. That's the formula. Oh man. So why do you think people are stuck on I'll never be able to be good enough to accomplish what I want, the dreams are not possible for me. What keeps them stuck though?

What keeps them stuck is this false belief system that their past is their future so they're operating out of an operating system of their memory and their past. So how do we let go of the past? Well, we have to create a compelling future. In other words, you're not going to let go of one thing until you've grabbed onto the next. You have to create a new future. You have to create a future.

And by the way, it's okay that you don't believe all of it initially, as long as it becomes repetitive and we begin to take steps towards it, right? So for me, I still have stuff from my past that's there, but this future is so big. And by the way, some things are okay. People go, why do you still work so hard? Well, I want to create a, there's still a little part of me

that doesn't want to be broke. There's still a little bit of fear. It's only, I've said- But you're not broke. Yeah, but you've interviewed some of the most successful actors and entertainers, so have I. And you get them privately and sometimes on your show, they go, you afraid it's going to go away?

They go, yeah, I am. That's why I work so hard. So there's an element of that that's okay. It's creating this vision for your life that's compelling. But there's this other thing. And I love Think and Grow Rich. It's one of my favorite books of all time. Next to my scripture is my favorite book.

But you don't just think and get rich. You have to do things. And by the way, rich can mean more bliss, more happiness, more peace. But you don't just get those things by thinking. There's some things you have to do. But the most powerful part of Think and Grow Rich Man is he has this part he says, can you survive the temporary?

And if you can survive the temporary, he says, on the other side of temporary pain, you get introduced to your other self. And that other self, he doesn't say this, but that other self produces that other life. And so here's what happens for most of us. We think everything's permanent. And because we think it's permanent,

we make permanent decisions based on temporary conditions. Even our bodies, other than our souls, are temporary. I was with my dad holding his hand when his body ceased to exist anymore. His soul exists still. But if your body isn't permanent, your problem isn't, your pain isn't, you need to create a different relationship

with pain in your life. The idea that you're gonna avoid pain, I have a chapter in the book called One More Inconvenience, chase difficult, inconvenient things. Like what? Like what is something you're chasing that's inconvenient? In a given day, the phone call you don't wanna make,

the meeting you don't wanna have, driving out here, there's a friend of mine who I'd like to help me with the book. It's incredibly uncomfortable phone call you don't wanna make, the meeting you don't wanna have, driving out here, there's a friend of mine who I'd like to help me with the book, it's incredibly uncomfortable phone call for me, it's the thing I don't wanna do today, I don't wanna bother them, it's inconvenient. And for me in my life, the inconvenient thing on the page is the one that now jumps off the screen at me that I must do, for most people,

their relationship with the pain and the inconvenience is to avoid it. Avoid is most possible. Yeah, but if you could say to yourself, on the other side of this is this other self. And so whatever your pain is right now, relationships has ended financially, something that's difficult for you to do. Maybe you're trying to lose weight, whatever it might be, on the other side of that temporary pain is the other self.

I have a thing I got to say to you last minute on this topic. In the book, I have this part about pinata. And what most of us as humans don't do is we don't understand compound pounding, the relentless pursuit of something. You're making what I call invisible progress in your life. Like your show has gone boom. Everyone goes, wow, Lewis went from 400,000 to millions of subscribers. He's the number one guy.

That didn't just happen this year. This is our 10th year. You were compound pounding on this sucker when no one was doing this. Exactly. But here's the pinata thing. I go to this party, it's five year olds. I didn't even want to go to the party.

It's five year old kids. I'm like, what am I doing here? But as a good friend, they have a pinata. We've all been to them. First kid gets up, hits the heck out of the pinata like a hundred times. Nothing happens. No candy comes up. Next kid gets up, whack, whack, whack.

Nothing. Next kid, whack, whack, whack. These three now quit. They're gone, another part of the party. There kid, whack, whack, whack. These three now quit, they're gone, another part of the party. There's three or four kids left. Everyone's losing interest. Everyone's pounding on this thing.

What they didn't know is each of those blows was breaking down the pinata, although there was no evidence it was true. The last boy gets up, I swear, actually it's a little girl. Last girl gets up, she goes, wham, hits it one time, bam, all the candy comes out out and everyone celebrates. In people's lives, was it Herb Lowe that broke the candy? No, it was the cumulative shots.

Most people don't wait around for the candy. They quit before the candy comes out of their relationship, of their body, of their business, of their bliss, of their meditation. It takes time, but you're making invisible progress. If you ever start to get down or know what to do, give yourself credit for the compound pounding you're doing. You're not sticking around long enough for the candy to come out. And that's what you need to be doing if you're going to change things. What's the most inconvenient thing you had to do in the last, I don't know, 10 years

that was like, uh, that created the biggest breakthrough in your business or life. This, being a public person. Really? Yeah, speaking about. Because you didn't do this for a long time. Never. You resisted it for, until like five years ago. Yeah, about five, six years ago. This, when you're so insecure and you're so shy,

which I know is still weird for people to know, because I can be, when I'm with a friend, you get this, but I'm really introverted. And like I'm on the road, I get room service. You know, I stay in. If I was at a mall and we went to high school together, I would love to say hello to you. I'm probably gonna duck into a store and hide

just because I don't know. It's not that I don't love it, I do. I remember, I was just saying this to someone coming out here today. Oh, Rob Dyrdek and I were talking. Rob driving out here. And he goes, man, it's a lot of work having a book. And I said, yeah.

And I go, but you know what, bro? I remember when no one wanted to read what I had to write. So I'm really, really grateful for it. At the same time, that part of expressing myself and being open and being vulnerable, and by the way, I do it in droves now. I fully embrace, if you watch my social media, me, I'm like, hey man, I'm having a bad day. This is not one of these. This is a day I'm not doing crap that's in

my book. You know, I didn't do anything that's in the book today. And so I, I've embraced it fully and I love it. But the most difficult thing for sure was expressing myself publicly and public speaking anything public, public, public. And yet I'm, you know, You're an incredible public speaker. One of the best. Thank you. I thank you. And it was usually on the most inconvenient thing

on the other side of it is not just your other self, but your greatest gift is revealed to you. And so for me, most of my greatest gifts have been revealed of me doing the really uncomfortable, inconvenient thing. On the other side of it, I meet this version of me. I'm like, the whole time I could have been really good speaker.

This thing I was the most afraid of that I thought I sucked the most at might be one of my greatest gifts. That's nuts. Here's a clip of Ed Mylette appearing on the Heavy Checklist podcast. This book is heavy in the sense that you say things like winning is more fun than fun is fun.

So when I first heard you say that and I read it, it took me some time to process. Because it seems like a simple statement, right? Like it seems very like, you know, yeah, winning is great. What does winning really mean and what is fun? And I think in your book you start to dive into you you've watched certain friends and associates go this way in the pursuit of fun and happiness and success yeah and it didn't work out quite how they thought it would. Well so have you. So I say winning is more fun than fun. What is winning? Winning is just reaching your potential and whatever it is that you're doing right and I've had all kinds of friends in my life just go for short term stuff you know they want to

go to the club they want to go have fun they want to chill out and to me that might sound good for like 15 or 20 minutes but to me winning reaching my potential by the way winning at having fun like maxing out my laughter like we were doing before we started here today like every area of my life I do the reason I wrote the book is really simple my dad died and When it happened I learned all these lessons from my dad I know a lot about how the brain works and know a lot about the spiritual stuff the physical stuff and it Occurred to me man like I'm next. Yeah, I don't know when my life ends But I know I'm the next my let man to go

Yeah And so I wanted to write a book for my kids and my great grandkids that this is what I know about being happy and successful And one of the things I know is that chasing short-term fleeting fun in every area, even our scriptures all tell us this, the cheap stuff of life, the cheap things that are easy to get are hollow. And the hard things, I have a chapter in the book called One More Inconvenience, doing inconvenient, difficult things that build character is where real fun is.

Absolutely. And to me, it fires me up to know that because we're in a culture now that doesn't celebrate that anymore. We're in a culture that celebrates cheap, short-term fun, whatever you wanna call it. Well, I think fun and fulfillment are synonymous here. This is the type of fun that we're talking about.

Feeling fulfilled is fun. Going out and partying on the weekend, that may be fun for a minute, and you might have a great weekend, and then whatever else happens after that. But fulfillment, influence for good, and accomplishing things that other people haven't accomplished before, that's real fun.

It is real fun. And the other thing is this, you learn something about yourself. This may sound really serious for this, but Napoleon Hill says in Think and Grow Rich, by the way, I love Think and Grow Rich, other than scriptures, it's my favorite book. But the truth is you don't just think and get rich.

There's stuff you gotta do. So I wanted to write a book about what do you think and what do you do congruently that produce a result. But one thing I love that he says is he says, if you can survive the temporary, the temporary pain, the temporary issue you're going through, that on the other side of that pain, you get introduced to your other self.

And that other self produces another life, which is more fun. And so for me, no matter who's listening to this right now or watching it, listen, you might be going through something temporary right now, okay? It's painful, it's difficult, you're having a setback, you're not on your A-game right now. Everything in life is temporary. Being other than our souls, being with my dad, I was literally holding my father's hand when he took his last breath and it occurred to me even in those moments,

like, wow, even our bodies are temporary. Nothing you're going through is permanent. Most people start making permanent decisions in temporary conditions in their lives because they don't have the tools, the thoughts and the actions that take. And I'm like, I need to write a book. You know, humans need to know these things. Plot twist. We're turning the tables on me and I'm being interviewed by my dear friend, Jamie Kern Lima about my new book, The Power of One More. So enjoy. God bless you. First is actually a famous Ed Mylet question though, but this time asking you the question. If you had just five minutes at Starbucks to give someone advice on how to make their

dreams come true, what would you tell them? I would say let's take an inventory of what your two or three gifts are. What are they? And I don't know what they are. Well then what would people that you love say about you? So your giftedness, with your kids, if you ask someone about their kids, they're like, oh, he's fast, she's strong, she's smart, she's a good dancer, she's kind. So we need your gifts.

If we're gonna do something great, we need to know what your gifts are, your talents. So it could be your nurturing skills, your intellect, your humor, your beauty, your writing ability, your listening skills, your touch, your feelings, your intensity. Let's get your skills and once we have those skills let's figure out how we're going to use them in the service of other people and if we could do that, if we can find a way

for you to serve other people by using what comes sort of easy to you, these talents of yours, we're gonna find a way and then the other part of it is get a mentor and get around some people, get associations around you, push you to have highest standards possible. You got a little recipe to change your life So then what are you certain of? I'm certain there's a God in heaven I'm certain that love is

What makes the world better and that you will do more for love than you will for anything else in your life. And if you focus on love of what people, love of your faith, love of what you do, love is the most powerful emotion there is, and it's the one that's never talked about. It's only talked about in the nature of relationships. And so I'm certain that there's a God in heaven,

and I'm certain that love is the greatest driver in the world and always will be. What are you uncertain of? I'm uncertain of my own potential. I'm not certain exactly what it is. I'm not certain of what that's gonna look like over the next 10 or 15 years. I'm less certain now than I have been at most stages of my life, just because I'm really evaluating what means the most to me and where I wanna spend my time, which is a really good thing.

But I'm uncertain of what that'll look like. I don't know whether it'll be as a public person. I don't know whether it'll be in business, if it'll be as a speaker, as a coach, as a behind the scenes person, I don't know yet. I'm at that stage in my life that once this stuff is sort of the stage that I'm in right now, I've got some time I'm gonna get clear

on the next 10 or 15 years. I need to do that again. I need to re-up my vision and my imagination. Because everything you do comes at the price of something you could have been doing with that time, right? Exactly, you know that. It's so big. All right, this comes from at Gloria Williams, Everything you do comes at the price of something you could have been doing with that time, right? Exactly. You know that.

All right. This comes from at Gloria Williams, which by the way, I know who that is. This is Oprah's pedicure. She also owns a couple of businesses, Footnanny. She says, Ed, is it okay to work on two dreams at once? It is. Yes. The answer is yes, it is.

But I will say this. There's this, it is absolutely okay to do that if they're both really dreams, right? But one thing we need to be careful of is that there's this fallacy that, let's talk about money, let's use money. So can I have two dreams? Absolutely. I'm working on more than one dream at one time. So yes you can. Having said that though, you have to be great at something. And there's this thing that's out there that millionaires have multiple streams of income. That's a fact that's not true. And you know this as well as I do.

Most millionaires got wealthy by building one dream first. And then when they got there, they diversified. It's gonna be really hard for you to compete. Let's say you wanted to be a baseball player, just for example. You're gonna be a baseball player and a piano player, but I'm playing baseball all day long, 100% of the time, obsessed with it, getting better, growing, and you're also doing this other thing, I'm going to kick your tail every single time.

So in business, if you're doing five businesses and I'm getting great at one, you're going to have a hard time competing against me on that one because I'm obsessed, I'm all in, I'm after it, I'm crushing that one thing, and you're really spreading yourself very thin over here. So it's, you got to be really, really careful of not getting, of costing yourself greatness at one thing because you're spread out to two or three or four different things. Can you do two things? Yes, but be really careful about that. All right, at luckygirl71 says, Ed, how do I overcome overthinking and get out of my own head?

I don't think you're overthinking. I think you're thinking incorrectly. So I don't think you can overthink. I think you think you're overthinking, but what you're doing is you're in a thought loop that doesn't serve you. And so I have a whole chapter in the book about what are the thought inventories

that you need to take. Thinking, so there's a whole chapter on this. Thinking, what is it? Thinking is the process of asking and answering questions to yourself. So the fact that you're thinking, overthinking, that's not really what's happening. You're asking yourself the wrong questions.

Because you're asking yourself the wrong questions, you're getting these thought looped answers that loop you into other thoughts and questions that cause you not to take action. So you don't need to stop overthinking. You need to start asking yourself different questions, which will produce different answers, which is now called a new thought.

And so in the book, I go through what some of those questions need to be that can change the pattern of the loop you're in of incorrect questions and incorrect thinking. And the book will help you with that. All right, Sarah K. What is resilience and how do you build it? Resilience is something that's already within you. Resilience is your ability to overcome circumstances. You already have it. You wouldn't be here without it. You wouldn't have got where you are in your life without it.

But it is a muscle. Doing hard things is something that we get better and better at doing the more we do it. I have a chapter in the book called One More Inconvenience. And what that means in the book is that sometimes in our lives we avoid inconvenient and difficult things. When you begin to chase inconvenience, when you begin to chase things that are difficult,

when you look at your day even, most people avoid the inconvenient thing. When you become a person who does the inconvenient stuff, this is what you do really well, you do the inconvenient thing in your life, all of a sudden that monster gets minimized over time and people will call you resilient. But what you've really become is somebody who is just

willing to do the inconvenient thing. Your whole career, most people would term you as a very resilient person because you overcame all those no's year after year, and some of them very painful no's in your life. But the truth is, as you were overcoming them, you would do one more inconvenient thing, take one more meeting, one more call, one more no,

and those were all very painful and inconvenient. But the fact that you would always choose the inconvenient thing, Jamie, is why you're sitting here. So it looks like resilience, but what it really was was the muscle of being willing to do the inconvenient thing that almost no one else thought you should do, especially after the previous inconvenient things didn't work out. But the truth is, resilience is doing inconvenient stuff over and over and over and over again. Do you ever get nervous and hide from the attention?

Yes, all the time. Yes, yes, yes, you already know the answer to that. Yeah, like I get room service when I'm out. If I'm in a mall and like I might have seen you from high school, like I'm so introverted, I'll go duck into a store and hide. My family will tell you, when we go to restaurants as a family Probably never have I been the one to walk up to the hostess or host and say hey We're the Milets like just even that encounter is something I avoid doing my wife does it every single time My kids do it every it's just trips people out of how much I avoid and by the way What's really weird about it is I love people so I get into an uber first thing I always say is tell me your

story and I want to hear their story I want to know everything about my uber driver the other day man this guy was awesome he's from Lebanon you would judge this guy his car wasn't really nice tell me your story Lebanese man has a kid at Yale and Harvard and a son going to Stanford and he drives the uber to help supplement on top of their college loans and he comes from Lebanon this whole Yale and Harvard and a son going to Stanford. And he drives the Uber to help supplement on top of their college loans. And then he comes from Lebanon. This whole car ride, I didn't want it to end,

he's telling me about what it's like in Lebanon and that it was a diverse area where he lived. It was actually a gated community. I'm like, I didn't picture Lebanon looking that way. He goes, well, where I lived, it was at one time and Jews lived here and Muslims here and Christians here and we came to this country for a better life. Yale, Harvard and Stanford.

Are you flipping kidding me? This is a remarkable man. So I just love learning about people. I love it. I've seen that. I've been in an Uber with you. Yeah, you know, I'm talking about. I've seen you ask the guy in the story.

So I'm super introverted, but I want to know people too. Yeah, yeah. All right, final, final, final thing. By the way, this is so great. It's been a great interview. My favorite of all time. I'm so grateful because- I'm grateful for you.

I love you and thank you for doing this today. I love you and your community and everyone listening loves you. And I'm grateful for them also for being part of this. And I hope everything here blesses them. You know, and gives value to their life. I'm gonna call this last part, the power of one more challenge.

The power of one more challenge, Ed. Okay one more challenge Ed. Okay here we go this is rapid fire. One more piece of advice you give to everyone listening. That you're closer to your dream than you think and that you were born to do something great. You're one decision away. You're one meeting away. You're one podcast away. You're one book away. You're much closer than you think you are and if you begin to believe that you're gonna find the things in your life they're gonna get you to that place much closer than you think you are and if you begin to believe that you're gonna find the things in your life that are gonna get you to that place much faster than you believe you can get there. That's just an absolute 100% fact. One more thing you'd want to break free from that you haven't yet. I

want to break free from my inability to tell people no. I want to break free from that my lack of saying no to things. I need to begin to say no better and not feel so guilty when I tell somebody I can't do something for them. I want to break free from that, my lack of saying no to things. I need to begin to say no better and not feel so guilty when I tell somebody I can't do something for them. I have to get better at that. I have to for my own peace and sanity. Me too. And I bet a lot of people listening. One more talent you'd want that you don't currently have.

I would love to be able to sing, to create art, because I admire that talent so much. And I think it's such a beautiful gift that if I could have that talent that would be super cool. One more person you get to interview on your show. Who could I interview? One more person you haven't interviewed yet that you'd want to interview on your show. Okay. Oprah Winfrey. Tom Brady would be right there too and that's gonna happen I'm whoo Oprah Winfrey Tom Brady would be right there too, and that's gonna happen. I'm gonna make that happen I would like to interview Tom Brady. Yeah. Yeah. All right one more place you could travel to where would it be? I've never been to Italy. I would like to go to Italy and see Italy

We've had trips scheduled there and then our kids were being born or you know stuff like that's happened So I would love to go to Italy and see Italy. We've had trips scheduled there, and then our kids were being born, or stuff like that's happened. So I would love to go to Italy for sure. One more fear you could overcome, what would it be? You wanna know something crazy? Being broke. I'm still afraid of it. I'm still afraid of being broke. The first thing that I thought of, I've got a lot of fears,

but one of them, no matter how much wealth I've acquired or accumulated, I still have this little program running in there that I don't wanna be broke. And that crazy. So that stuff, when I was little, when my dad might leave, I thought, my mom worked in the home. My mother was a homemaker. So when my dad would leave, I would think,

oh, we're gonna be broke. And then when my water got turned off and all that happened I went, oh my god I'm gonna be broke the rest of my life. So I would love to lose that fear. Okay, if you have one more day on this earth, God forbid you're gonna have many more years on this earth. Like one more day on this earth, how would you spend it? I'd spend it with my family. I would spend it 100% with what my dad did. My dad's one more day was with his family. He had his wife and his children with him on his one more day.

We were the ones surrounding him. It was the perfect one last day of a man's life. And so that would be mine for sure. I would be with them. One more meal, what would it be? My mom's spaghetti. Eddie's spaghetti would have spaghetti. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that ironic?

I would have my mom's spaghetti for sure, which just made me some recently, and I ate like 140 pounds of it in a day. So mom's spaghetti. And one last thing that you want to share for anyone wondering how your book, The Power of One More, is going to impact their life?

It'll impact all of you differently. I wrote it for a diverse group, so whether you're a mother, it can help you be a better mother. There's chapters in there on parenting. Athlete, you're an athlete or a coach, it'll help you. If you're an entrepreneur, you work somewhere, you wanna change your body, you wanna change your emotions, you wanna be happier.

It will impact many of you differently and different chapters will resonate with some of you more than they do the others. But when I was writing the book I was thinking about all of you and that's why the book is so deep and diverse. Maybe it's too deep and diverse in some ways as I've told you, but I wrote it thinking of all of you. I wrote it, the creative process is this, I surround myself with great books but I prayed a lot writing this book. I prayed a lot. I had my scriptures around me when I wrote. I had my powerful books because the books have energy and I wrote it thinking about all of you. I can tell you

that with the most sincerity I have is I wrote this book truly to try to serve as many of you as I can and that's why it is so diverse and has such depth to it. This is the Ed Myron Show.