THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Destroy The Victim Mindset, Build Generational Success, And BE A LEADER Feat. Jeezy

Episode Date: December 7, 2024

BREAK FREE AND LEAD YOUR LIFE! Are you ready to dismantle the victim mindset and step into your full potential as a leader? In this transformative Mashup episode, I sat down with an incredible lineup of voices who’ve faced extraordinary challenges and emerged as leaders in their own right. Together, we explore what it takes to lead yourself, your family, and your community—no matter where you’re starting from. Jay "Jeezy" Jenkins opens up about his journey from survival to self-realization, sharing how he overcame trauma and self-doubt to become a generational example of resilience. He dives into the mindset shift that helped him escape cycles of violence, build generational success, and inspire others to dream bigger than their circumstances. His candor about self-soothing through destructive habits—and his decision to choose healing instead—is a lesson in personal responsibility and leadership. Les Brown, a living legend in personal development, reminds us of the power of forgiveness and how anger can cloud our decisions. His story of facing deep pain and turning it into a legacy of inspiration will give you chills. He challenges us to confront our darkest emotions and use them as a stepping stone to greatness. From a different perspective, Maria Shriver highlights the challenge of carving your identity in a family of legacy-makers. Her insights into earning self-confidence, embracing vulnerability, and redefining feminine strength will resonate with anyone striving to make their mark without losing their authenticity. Lastly, Damon West takes us into his rock-bottom moment—being sentenced to 65 years in prison—and the resilience it took to rebuild his life. His story is a reminder that your circumstances don’t define you, but your response to them does. Damon’s transformation from convicted felon to a sought-after speaker proves the power of discipline, self-awareness, and purpose. Key Takeaways: - The importance of healing from trauma and leading with humility and vision to inspire generational change. - Why forgiveness—of others and yourself—is critical to unlocking your potential and moving forward. - Balancing toughness and tenderness to find your true voice, even in the shadows of giants. - How to turn life’s harshest lessons into tools for rebuilding a life of purpose and integrity. This episode isn’t just about advice—it’s a call to action. You’ll learn what it means to lead your life with clarity, courage, and a commitment to others. Whether you’re battling self-doubt, generational limitations, or the need to reinvent yourself, the wisdom shared here will guide you to become the leader you were meant to be. Tune in now and take that first step toward building your legacy. Thank you for watching this video—Please Share it and get the word out! What part of this video resonated with you the most? Comment below! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Rushard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward slash ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top

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So go to growthday.com forward slash Ed. That's growthday.com forward slash Ed. This is The Ed Mylet Show. Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow The Ed Mylet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. I've been talking to this man about having him on the show here for, I don't know, like

six or eight months. And you would think, well, you having him on the show here for, I don't know, like six or eight months. And you would think, well, you want to have a mom because he's this Grammy nominated artist that everybody knows. And it's not really why I wanted a mom. I wanted a mom because this man has dimension and depth. He's a really unique person because he's obviously very talented, sold millions and millions of records, but he's got this dimension and depth because of his life experience and because of his work on himself and personal development.

He's also got a book out called Adversity for Sale, and it's really, really good. I read the entire thing in two days. So GZ, Jay Jenkins, welcome to the show. What's up? How you doing, my brother? What makes someone become a leader in the street? So I get that you function, because so far, change the word streets and call it business. And guess what?

101. Someone who wins in business has this unbelievable ability to survive through all of the lean years. And they have a crazy ability to operate in chaos that most people don't have. In fact, I don't have a lot of abilities. But one of the things I always say is, one of the things I hold my hat on is, I operate well in chaos. Now, there's

a negative to it that somehow I keep wanting to produce more chaos in my life because I'm so comfortable in it. By the way, you got a little of that bug too. No matter how things go, I'm going to find a way to create chaos. Because when it gets cool, I'll be like, oh. Right. I'm not comfortable when things are comfortable. Right. Because it almost feels like you know something's gonna come. But to your point when you asked how did someone become a leader,

it's funny because Master P was in my, he was my therapist before I even knew who he was. Because I listened to him and I watched him and I saw him move because you gotta think, coming from where we come from, those are the only entrepreneurs we really knew that were very successful. All our parents were either hustlers or worked in factories.

My mom cleaned houses, just minimum wage stuff. But then you see in Master P and these guys, and he's mobilizing all these people and putting them in positions to live out their dreams. And you sit back and you go, okay, that's a leader. And then you see someone like Tupac who's a revolutionary, he's going against the grain of the fabric of what they're telling us where we're from.

Like you can't be this, you can't do that. He's going against all that grain. And that to me, that's a leader. You know what I'm saying? So these are the people that I'm listening to every day because they're my therapists at this point, right? So like how people listen to you as a podcast, some people like just to be entertained, These are the people that I'm listening to every day because they're my therapists at this point. Right? So like how people listen to you as a podcast,

some people like just to be entertained, but you have some people out there listening to your show that are hanging on your every word because they know that you know the way. So they would consider you a leader. And the thing I learned at an early age is, I didn't mind sitting down being a fly on the wall listening to the older guys.

You know, the uncles, the cousins, just the guys in the neighborhood. And a lot of my peers didn't see the value in being around older people. It's kind of like, oh, that's your uncle, it's your granddad. But older people always had that wisdom and that knowledge. And I had a thirst for it at a young age

because when I came back from living abroad, I started, cause my palate was different. I was eating sushi. You know what I'm saying? I was eating tuna nigiri, you know what I'm saying? Yellowtail. Now they throw me back in the hood and my palate's different.

I done seen the world and it's, you know, I know there's beaches and there's all these things out there, and I gotta go back to this town with the population, it's 3,000, maybe 32 on a good day. I mean, we got two red lights, and I'm trying to explain to my friends in school, like yo, there's beaches out there, there's this and that, and everybody's kinda like,

what are you talking about? Never seen these things in person. So it sounded like you was you know just making all this up and I and I got in my mind at that moment that I have to get back to that because that's my life and the reason why that life was taken away from me is because my parents separated and divorced. My dad was in the service so my mom went back to the hometown and my dad continued to you know do his tour as a staff sergeant in the Marines. Staff sergeant.

Yeah. And so when we went back to there, of course, my mom had her things and all that stuff going on. And it's crazy because the trailer that we grew up in was no bigger than the studio room. And I paid $3,500 for it, right? And that's what we lived in. You know, my room was probably, you know, the size of a bathroom in a, like, you know,

you can barely even breathe in there, right? And for me, that was reality. So it's like you took it out of this life where you got all this opportunity and you put in this place. And I'll never forget it, like my whole mindset switched from being a kid to survival.

I gotta survive, I gotta figure this out because if I don't figure it out, this will be my life for the rest of my life. Unbelievable. Right. This explains to me, I really introduce you the way that I view you. There's a dimension and a depth to you.

And now that I'm understanding your life story a little bit more, it's because there was dimension and depth to your early life. You really had two really different lives when you were a very young man. And now you had multiple lives as an adult. The other thing you have after meeting you,

it's the thing that I have in all my friends that I admire the most. And then I'm just unpacking for everyone success traits. Because I really believe to a large extent, the streets so to speak, which I don't understand, that's why I'm asking you, is a metaphor for life. It's just an exaggerated, compressed metaphor. And you have another thing that I think the guys

who make it out, and also women and men who make it in business have, you have a very unique, nuanced combination of a lot of presence and confidence with a ton of humility still. You're not arrogant. You don't think you know everything. You have a thirst for knowledge. You listen to my stuff.

You read, you still have that thing. That is a combination. You show me someone with a bunch of humility and they're humble, with no confidence, I'm gonna show you someone life's gonna run their ass over. You show me somebody with a ton of, and you've seen this in your business too, ton of confidence but no humility.

They eventually believe too much of their own prescriptions. You agree with that? They eventually, they crap out because they don't have humility. They don't wanna keep growing and learning. They think they know everything. They think they're never because they don't have humility. They don't want to keep growing and learning. They think they know everything. They think they're never gonna lose or make a mistake. Well, that's the issue because I've learned,

and that's one of the reasons why I really wrote the book, because I wanted people to understand that I was selling millions of records, like millions and millions of records, right? Some of the biggest artists in the world, Rihanna, Jay-Z, Kanye West, Mariah Carey, all these different people, but I was at the lowest point of my life.

You know what I'm saying? Like I was at the lowest point of my life. You look at photos you can kind of tell. Yeah. Explain. Because, you know, God works in mysterious ways. It's just like, he helped me figure out that this was the thing for me. I kinda got forced into it

because I tried to do what Master P did in the beginning as I tried to sign people and put people on. I wanted to be the CEO, the boss, so to speak, and it didn't work that way. And I was left with a studio, no artist, and not a lot of money, right? So I had to figure it out myself and I began to do music myself

because I always had a love for it and I started to work my way through that and what I realized is like, I wanted to bring everybody that I could because that's just what you're told, right? You're told that you got to keep it real, like you gotta be, and that's what I went by, you know what I'm saying?

Because that's what's in my heart, to do the right thing. And when I started to get some success in it, and started to move around the world and see different things, now mind you, the life that I was living before that was serious, serious. Put it this way, everybody that I was running with that was serious, like serious. What do you mean? Put it this way, everybody that I was running with

either got life for 30 years, which is probably one of the biggest stories since, I mean, since El Chapo. You know what I'm saying? And you were waiting to get arrested yourself, right? Yeah. You feel like everyone around me is going down. Oh, I was going down.

I was depending on it. Like I had it in my mind. Like I got myself, when I walked out the door, I made sure that I was looking good, because if I feel like if they got me, I just had to look the part. You gotta think I'm selling millions of records, and I'm waiting to go to prison in my mind.

That is crazy to me. And I'm drinking, I'm drinking, I'm self-soothing, I'm doing all these things, and I was like the most depressed I've ever been because a lot of those guys that didn't go started to see my success, and this caused an all-out war. So you gotta think I'm this hot new artist,

I'm moving around the world, I'm doing all these things, but I'm at a real war with real people that have real finances, real resources, and they're the state. This is not local, right? And I'm dealing with this everywhere I go. So normally when a person goes on the stage

and performs in front of, you know, I'm on tour with Jay-Z. You know, we're doing 60,000 people a night, and he has no idea what I'm dealing with. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, you know, when I get off the stage, you know, I'm back in Baghdad. I gotta get ready for whatever.

I gotta make sure, like, and I have to move militant, right? So now I gotta make sure, cause now instead of just being an artist, I have to be, you know, damn near a general. I have to give my troops orders and tell them how to move and what to do. And it's like this is every day of my life. You're worried you're gonna be a Tupac at one point.

You gonna get incarcerated or you gonna be a Tupac? Yep, I have 1,000%. And the thing, it took me, and I was depressed and didn't know what depression was. I had post-traumatic stress and didn't understand what that was. I had a level of anxiety that was unreal. I didn't even know what it was.

I just knew that all I had to do was keep drinking and keep smoking, and that's how I was gonna deal with this. And you talking about somebody who was getting up at 8 a.m. I'm popping a bottle of Cristal. That's how I'm starting breakfast off. You know what I'm saying? By lunchtime, you know, I'm drinking tequila. You know what I'm saying?

And you know, at night, I'm still going out and I'm doing all lunchtime? You know, I'm drinking tequila, you know what I'm saying? And you know, at night I'm still going out and I'm doing all these things to self-soothe, but I started to realize that like, I'm running and I can't run that fast anymore. Like I'm thinking I'm getting away, but it's catching up. And it wasn't until my third album, which was The Recession, that I woke up and I was just like, hold up. I'm not in prison, right?

I'm alive and I got a chance to be a superstar. And let me embrace that. So I immediately went in, started YouTubeing about health. Now I'm drinking water, I'm exercising. And by the mind, mind you, I couldn't get a trainer because I don't like to be told what to do, so I was thinking YouTube myself, and I lost 60 pounds. We're gonna put a photo up right now for the YouTube.

Yeah, I lost 60 pounds, and it was crazy because I was doing this show for the Recession Tour. The first show I had was in Boston, in the House of Blues, and it was funny because normally when I did all my shows, it would be all, and I don't mean this like, you know, like, I mean, like it was, in my shows, it was the gangsters, killers, and the robbers. That was the front row.

It was no women. You know what I'm saying? And when I dropped that 60 pounds ad in my first show in Boston, I remember it like it was yesterday. I came out and by the second song, I looked at my security like, yo, what are you doing? They're throwing stuff on the stage.

And he looked at me and said, boss, it's bras and panties and stuff. And I was just like, oh. So I'm like, yo, this is different. It's awesome. And I promised myself, like, I wasn't gonna go back. And then I just started to get on this journey of just trying to like, I did myself I wasn't gonna go back. And then I just started to get on this journey of just trying to, I did what I did in the neighborhood,

which was start to sit around older people, get outside of my comfort zone, and just have conversations with people who I wouldn't normally have a conversation with. And just ask some questions, because I started to understand there wasn't bias, right? And they would give me honest answers. And I started my journey to healing around that time of course I didn't have you

know podcasts like yours and stuff like that but I just was getting little bits and pieces of information and trying to figure it out right and that started me on my journey and that's when I started to really come into my stardom and start to understand but mind you the whole time I'm doing this I'm like okay this is cool but I don't think this is a life for me like I got to figure them and to start to understand. But mind you, the whole time I'm doing this, I'm like, okay, this is cool, but I don't think this is a life for me. Like I gotta figure out how to establish myself as a businessman. Because with this, one thing that I did understand

and I don't think a lot of people understand is that the music and the reason why rap was one of the biggest genres last year is because music became the streets, right? And that's why so many people die in it. That's why so many people are incarcerated in it. Because all the street guys after me started to figure out, Jesus was in the streets.

I know him, I know Lil J, I know he used to be over there. I'm going to do that, right? And so everybody started to get in music, music, music. And then the next thing you know, the music was more violent than the streets. But I saw that coming, so I'm going to do that. And so everybody started to get in music, music, music. And then the next thing you know, the music was more violent than the streets. But I saw that coming, so I'm like, I gotta figure out how to do business, because I don't want to go through this again.

Oh my gosh. Brother, that's striking what you just said. Because now that you say it, I've obviously observed that happening, but you to be on the inside of that. I was picturing you walking out, you're touring with Jay-Z in the beginning, and you're looking at the front row, but you to be on the inside of that. I was picturing you walking out, you're touring with Jay-Z in the beginning and you're looking at the front row

and you don't know if any of these dudes are there for you. Oh right. That night, that's amazing to me. And then the fact that dudes like you then brought guys into the business who were already living that type of a life and it sort of transformed the industry from guys who talked about this stuff

to guys who actually lived this stuff. And this is the trip part, This is where it came in. I knew early on that I was in a position of leadership. I understood that more so than the artist. That's why I never claimed the rapper role. I was like, I gotta figure out how to do this to be an example for the people that come from where I come from, because I'm not gonna stop here.

It's like being in the street. You don't wanna start petty hustling, and then now all of a sudden you got this connect and you just stop there. I don't wanna go to jail there and then now all of a sudden you got this connect and you just stop there. I don't wanna go to jail there. You know what I'm saying? So what I started to notice is that,

and even now, and the reason why I feel like it's more my purpose and I have to lean into my purpose to show this generation behind me, how do you evolve in it? Because just imagine when I got in, it's just like Jordan versus LeBron, and things like that. You gotta know that this generation

is getting a way different type of money. So that comes with a way different type of power. So they were able to do things that we couldn't even do. And they're able to, just say for instance, when you got money to throw around like that, you can make a lot of bad things happen. You feel what I'm saying?

And if your mindset isn't to lead people the right way, then you already know what that is. And I do wanna say this because I don't wanna sound like that I just had it figured out. Before, everything before the Recession album, which was maybe like four years, five years of me doing music, I absolutely led hundreds of men the wrong way.

Right. Right, they would do anything for me, right? They would jump off a cliff, they would do anything. And I was out of control. And I didn't know where I was going. My GPS was not working. So I led them to where I started to figure out if we keep going straight, we're gonna fall off a cliff.

So let me figure out my life. Now mind you, when I started to figure out certain things about myself and started to change things about myself, I don't think everybody around me was a fan of that. Sure. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, because people probably benefit from some of it, right?

The other thing too is that I just want to acknowledge one thing about you It takes a lot of I mean it sounds like an overhooked word But like it takes a lot of courage to say what you're saying I decide to make these decisions because you could have continued to go down It's hard to change things when the external results of your life are going pretty well. Yes. It's so difficult to do but external results of your life are going pretty well. It's so difficult to do, but the internal part of your world was terrible. But the external part of your world is going so,

it's so difficult. Listen to me, when the external stuff's going well, but internally, you know this is not right. I'm not happy, I'm not living right. I'm not, this is not my legacy I wanna have. It takes major, you know what, to go, I'm gonna stop this right now, even though it's producing money, it's producing fame,

it's changed a lot of things. And sometimes things in life that are working for you, you think, well, that's why I'm successful. But maybe you're successful in spite of some of the things that end up making you win, right? Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify.

Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. So, hey guys, I've been talking about Element for a long time. You've got to get hydrated. You've got to get your electrolytes. And I do that with Element, as do just about everybody that I know that's doing these mixes in their drinks. And so it's great when you want to cool off. what if you wanted to drink a hot drink right well guess

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and products have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration these products are not intended to diagnose tree cure or prevent any disease or condition this show is sponsored by better help listen it's the time of year where you want to make the next year one of the great years of your life one of the things you should probably consider is therapy most Most successful people and happy people that I know are either in therapy or have been in therapy because it helps them get clarity, helps them unwind some things that are holding them back

and it gets them focused on the things that need to move forward. So whether you've got major trauma in your life you need to work through or just a lack of clarity and focus in your life that you'd like to get more clear on things and a sense of direction in your life, therapy is a great way to do it and that's where BetterHelp is so great for people to learn different things and that's where

BetterHelp comes in. So if you're thinking of starting therapy give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, it's convenient, it's flexible, suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist. You can switch therapists for any time for no additional charge. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash ed show today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp.h-e-l-p dot com slash ed show. I was thinking about the violence thing. You said a really good friend of mine.

Um, it's kind of a well-known thing was renting the house to pop smoke when he got killed and that he was, they were the owner of the house that he was renting. And I was thinking about when you were just talking about that, how that industry that you're in still, to some extent, is really dangerous for these young people still. It's a real thing. This is not for the cameras, is what you're saying.

And social media makes it different, because it's easier to attract people, it's easier to. That's exactly what happened in that case. Yeah, it's different. And I don't, I remember I had a party one time for Puff in my compound in Atlanta, and I didn't even know Papa, he was standing like maybe where you are right there.

And when I heard it, it just hit me different because I can only imagine this kid who's getting out of Brooklyn, who's got this chance to start up and then you die in the hills of LA. Just think about that. It's almost like backwards. You would think you would die where you was at.

And the reason why I lean into it so much is because they have to see an example of someone grow up in this. Because when I sit back and I think about Tupac, like, it's confusing because he was before his time, but I can only imagine what he would have been like if he was still been here and made his 50s or wherever he's at.

And I've been one of the lucky ones that have, you know, and I'm not gonna try to dumb it down to nothing. Like, what I've been through, I don't think the average man can go through that. You know what I'm saying? And not just from the things that I was into, but just all the people that I've lost over the years, I can go into the thousands.

You know, peoples, you know, the hundreds of funerals, the just so much. And what it did to me is, and what I've been working through now is, and we were talking about Louis earlier, like me and him, we really talking about it,, like me and him been really talking about it, just like, you know, it numbed me. Like, I couldn't really understand

what emotions were, right? Because once you lose people, and I talk about it in the book a lot, you just get this thing like, well, it wasn't me, so I gotta keep going, because you're running. You're just trying to keep running and staying alive. And over time, I just got this thing where I felt like people were complacent, you know what I'm saying?

Because I just tried not to get too close or try not to show too much love because it's almost like you just never know. Brother, in a weird way, this conversation's happened at such an interesting time. Without being personal, I will say Andy Fercell is a really good friend of mine. We were talking this weekend about,

not the same thing, but connected to it. And we were both talking about how, even at this stage of our lives, we're just running and we're running and running and running and running. And although, not for the same reasons, but all my relationships, I feel like, as I'm in the middle of this run,

have just become really surface. There's no depth to my relationships. And it's just like, I'll get around to it, I'll get around to it, I'll get around to it. We were both saying, hey man, we're best friends, we don't even see each other anymore. It's on the phone, you all right bro? You all right bro?

And then a year goes by. And that's a part of life. Everyone's gotta evaluate in a different way. Not the same thing as what you were going through. How much of your life are you putting on hold because you're in this run that maybe like some of these other things may matter more, your friendships, your relationships,

your the things in your life that matter. You said GPS earlier, you got this thing that you write about, about your something GPS. I want you to do. My mental GPS. This is so good, I know what it is, but I wanted you to be able to say it. Right, right, in my former job,

I've been very successful, right? And then we call them plays, you'd be able to say it. Right, right. In my former job, I've been very successful. Yes. Right, and we call them plays, and one play, you could be almost, you could have millions of dollars, and in one play, you send your money to the wrong place, you could be broke again. Yeah.

Right, and I went through that so many times, of like having it and not having it. Did you? Having it and not having it. I never robbed or took anything from anybody. I always was priding myself on getting out and figuring it out. And when I started to notice, even when I lost things,

I would get it back like tenfold, right? Because I always had integrity. My grandmother raised me, she's a Christian woman, very serious, Sunday schooled a whole nine. You're such an interesting man. You're so interesting. Used to speeches the whole nine. But I really had a good heart.

I just got caught up in the streets, right? And one thing that I started to realize is if I just keep my integrity and my name is good and my reputation is good, I can always figure out how to get it back around. Because one thing that I did learn about like in business, if your reputation is good and you're a good person and you pour into people, no matter what it may be,

even at your hardest time, somebody might just point you at the right person or send you in the right direction because they know you're good. And the reason why I call it mental GPS, you know, I feel like there will never be a time in my life where if I lost it all tomorrow, that I couldn't get it back, right? Because I know I understand it

and I know how to get back where I left, right? And then to keep up on that, to keep on that path. And when you from where we from, when you lose it, you know, people go bad, you know what I'm saying? Not like Wall Street where they jump off buildings, but they'll rob their brother. Like they'll take from their, you know, they'll take from their best friend, you know what I'm saying?

They'll, and not just take, I've seen, you know, situations where people murder their best friend, you know what I'm saying? And not just take, I've seen situations where people murder their closest friends, you know what I'm saying, or kidnap kids or whatever. And it's just like, we ain't a life like that. It's hard not to, because the sad thing is like, the culture respects violence more so than money. And it's just like, either you're gonna be a leader that leads with evolution,

or you're gonna be a leader that leads with violence. And that's how it works, you know what I'm saying? So there's not a lot of leaders that lead with evolution, right? Because those are the ones that, something you ever heard, like when we talk, we say, wow, the good guys gotta go. Those are the ones that get killed. It's interesting you say that, the ones that we say wow the good guys gotta go. Yeah, those are the ones to get killed

It's interesting you say that the ones that lead with evolution end up experiencing the violence, right? Yeah, you know We're both thinking I was thinking a dr. King right away Some of these kids and you know, like Nipsey Hussle great one of my great great, you know Nipsey also He's trade books. He was he had a heart of gold and when you look at his situation, you can't help but think, like, how could, you know, like,

this was somebody that was pouring back into the community, but he was leading with evolution. Right? And the guys that lead with violence, you know, end up being in these situations where, you know, they live longer. You know? As a result of that, I watched an interview you did,

and you said, I really don't trust anybody. And then the host pushed you a little bit and you're like, well, that was my former life. And I watched it and said, nope, he still doesn't really trust anybody. Like if we're being really, really honest, like let's just cut to the s***. I don't think you really completely trust anybody

even right now. You're absolutely right. But I find myself opening up more and being transparent. But I still have to keep what kept me, even though it doesn't serve me that much in this life, I'm learning to trust and to understand and to get only quality people around. Because once you have only quality people around,

it's easy for them to show you that they can be trusted to a certain extent. But I will tell you that 98% of people that I've led in my life have burnt me, some type of way. You know what I'm saying? And to the point where I'm just like, I already knew that was gonna happen. Why did I even go there?

And my reason I think for not trusting is I've never, outside of my grandmother, I've never experienced someone who gave me unconditional love. And I never experienced someone that gave me full transparency. And I used to live out of survival and fear, but I try now to live more out of love.

But I still can't, like Nipsey Hussle, I can't think that I'm exempt to what is going on because I'm still a part of that culture. So I have to still, it's almost like being a soldier. If you go to Afghanistan or whatever and you come back, you still have that mentality that I gotta protect myself and my family if something happens, because I know how to do that.

I knew today was gonna be good, but I didn't know it would be this good. No, I mean it, and I'm gonna tell you something, when you're this honest, you pull honesty out of me and other people, and here's the truth. So I'm not a part of that culture, but I'm a part of life. And I think that, again, I think that culture

is like a microcosm, a compressed version of what the rest of life is about. And if I'm being really honest, if I'm being really honest, same with me. I think even saying 98 is a generous number. Right, right, it might be like 99. 9.7324, right? And I think what I landed on was

I'm gonna be trustworthy, but I'm pretty guarded with my trust and life has proven to me that, and by the way, what's cool about that conclusion is that it's caused me to try to search for where can I trust, and for me that's God. Right, right, like I don't put my faith in a man. I gotta tell you about that too.

Please do, because that's what I've reached to. Please, go ahead, what were you gonna say? I mean, I must say like, I don't know what's been going on with me lately, you know what I'm saying, in like the last year, but I used to pray all the time because my grandmother taught me to pray. But I never heard anything, right?

I never, but like lately, like I might be like meditating and he talks to me constantly. I love it. And I'm serious, like to the point, like it almost scares me sometimes, right? And you know, I, to the point, it almost scares me sometimes. Nobody's perfect, right? So as long as I walk with God, I know I'll be good, right? But people, and the type of people

that he's brought in my life, it's crazy. You wouldn't believe the type of people that call me, check on me or whatever. And a lot of them don't understand where I come from and what I've been through. So, they might not understand some of my mannerisms sometimes, but I make sure when I'm with them, I let them know that I'm really there for them

and they're there for me. But what I've noticed and you said about trust is like, I trust that God is gonna make sure it's good, but I still gotta watch the front door for us. You know what I'm saying? I can't let anybody in the front door. Cause that's our sacred space. And, you know, it's so interesting

because you look at any part of life, I'm quite sure anybody can say that they don't really have people that they can trust. And the thing about coming from like where we come from, especially where I come from, I can't even say that about some of my closest family. You know what I'm saying? And it's just like, you would think you can trust your

uncles, you would think that you can trust, you know what I'm saying? And all these different things. And my older brother died when we was younger. So I had to be the oldest, right? So I had to kind of jump out there here first and my experience with it Just put me in a place where I Just put up all these boundaries right and What I'm starting to notice lately is that you know that wall that I put up, you know

It protected me, it kept everything out. I mean, it kept everything out. Well, it kept everything in, but it also kept a lot of stuff out. So a lot of my blessings that were supposed to come to me, they were out by the wall, because I was blocking them, right?

So I didn't take the wall down, I just took the first three layers off so I could see over the wall. So I could see. Look at that. That's such a perfect description. By the way, that is such a perfect description. Because if you don't let people in,

you are keeping out so many blessings in your life. I think it's almost like for me, by the way, taking a few of those bricks, those levels off the wall is exactly what I've done. You're saying things that either I haven't had the confidence to say or the ability to say that I totally agree with. I love when I'm talking to somebody and I'm like,

cause it makes me, it hits my heart, like that's truth. Like you know what I mean? Like that's truth what he just said. That's what I've done too. And almost a little bit, other than with God, I trust but verify. I don't have to verify with God. That's already been verified for me.

And I also trust God will bring people into my life that can get close to me. But I also believe there's free will, there's free choice, and he's gonna teach us lessons in life. There are Judas's in our lives. That's part of the stories of the Bible, or whatever your faith might be. There's that.

There's also though, it's really interesting, you could've written a book about a lot of things. You wrote one about adversity. And I'm like, because this is a ton of topics you could've done about overcoming limited beliefs, overcoming your environment, because you transcended an environment, which is very rare in life.

Why is adversity the topic of the book and why did you think this is the thing I wanna talk about? Oh wow, that's a great question. That's what I pride myself in. You know what I'm saying? I would be that adversity specialist if you will. That's what keeps me going.

That's my purpose. My purpose is to continue to evolve no matter what, but to continue to give that information back to my culture and to my people, and to be an example of what it's like to come out of that. Because every situation that I've been in, and it's funny that we was talking about God, I don't care how crazy it got,

he always put somebody in my life around the time that I needed some information or a ear or a connection or just a process, it never fails, right? And I truly believe that he does that for me to show people that you can maintain your integrity and be a solid individual and still survive. Right?

You know, without doing anything that would go against who you are as a man and then your legacy. Because, you know, when you think about some of the great leaders, they did great things, right? But their integrity is what kept you locked into them. Because you got people that's successful, but they did a lot of foul things. And when you hear people talk about them,

you're like, wow, I never knew that. And adversity to me is that small glare of hope. Because if I tell you what I went through in this book, your life might be totally different, but you might be up against the same odds. I can tell you that that's the truth. My life is totally different than yours. But I see great storytellers tell me stories

with a you meaning. So as I read your work, I didn't grow up like that, but I have my version of it in my life. And so the lessons in the book, the lessons in this conversation, I don't care what someone's life story is, these are facts. Like you said something so important

that God has sent you that person when you needed him. The information, the insight, whatever it might be. I want everybody to hear this man said this, and the reason that I want you to hear it is he does that for you too. The difference is you need to be in expectation that he's going to and aware that he's going to because he has probably sent those people to you previously in your life and if you're not aware he's doing it or open to the possibility he's doing it, you will miss them. You will miss them. It's like that analogy of the people

that are sitting on the roof during the flood. Someone comes by and says, hey, jump on the boat. Nope, I'm waiting for God to save me. Somebody else comes by in a boat. I'm waiting for God to save me. Third guy comes by in a boat. I'm waiting for God to save me. Then they drown and they get to heaven

and they go, God, I thought you were gonna save me. He goes, I sent three damn people in a boat. Three boats in a pump. Get in the damn boat, right? And so there's some, you have to be an expectation that God is gonna send you a blessing at some point. But if you're not looking for it and expecting it, you don't hear them or see them or feel them

and then you miss them. You have to be in a good place too though. You have to be in a good place with yourself. I really realized that, cause there was times that I wasn't in a good place with myself and it was just a bunch of noise. I let things on the outside of me control my emotions, how I felt, you know what I'm saying?

I just had to come to a place where, and I'm not there yet, of course, but I just started to understand what peace was like, to get a little taste of that, and I started to understand what going inward was about. Because the minute I started going inward, everything changed, right? Because now I can't fault anyone in my life

for what they've done to me. I have to look inside and see how I reacted or what I've done to contribute to that, right? And I can't blame anyone else, right? And for me, when I started to understand that is when things started to slow down, right? Because I wasn't present. I go have conversations with people,

it's all on the surface. Yeah, it's all good, whatever. I'm gone. But then I started taking time, like to look people in their eyes and be like, are you all right, man? How you feeling? Like, what's going on?

And I started to have conversations where I wasn't leading all of the conversation. Like, you know, just tell me, how you feeling, what's going on? And when people came to me, and I pride myself on having a lot of advice, that's just like my thing. You know, I think I'm like,

the therapist among the crew. You know what I'm saying? But I ask them. I ask them now, though. I say, you know, one is, do you want me to just listen? You know what I'm saying? Two is, do you want me to tell you what I think? A three is, do you want me to just listen? You know what I'm saying?

Two is, do you want me to tell you what I think? A three is, do you want me to side with you? Because I can do that too. You know what I'm saying? So I can be like, oh, that's crazy. That should have never happened. And I start to understand because where we come from, it's hard for somebody to tell you how they really feel.

It took me until I was 40 to tell somebody I was sad or I was depressed. You know what I'm saying? Think about that. Or I don't feel confident about this, you know what I'm saying? Or that I might be concerned. Because when you're that guy, you have to- Can't show weakness.

Yeah, you can't show anything. You said earlier, I'm depressed, I'm drinking. I'm drinking a bottle of champagne in the morning, booing a tequila in the afternoon. You're eating, you're heavy. You're stressed, you're worried, you're running, you're running, you're running. Is there any one thing you did,

or was there any one moment, or was it just an accumulation of things where you're like, that's enough, I can't do this anymore? I would say this, I didn't have a purpose before then. I was just chasing money and trying to get out of my situation. And he did that, God did that for me. He took me out of my situation.

And I'm four albums in, about eight million records sold. Like, but what am I doing for him? What, how am I continuing his message? What am I doing? He took me out of a situation where I could have had a life sentence. It was there. I still don't know how I, Josh, that by the way,

I think about that all the time, but it was there. I still don't know how I, it's not that by the way, I think about that all the time, but it was there, right? And I've lost, you know, so many people and I sat there and I'm just like, yo, like, you know, right now, I'm the issue. I need to work on myself because the things that I have going on inside of me is no way to lead anyone, right?

And I'm making music. So I got millions of people listening to me and listening to what I'm saying. I'm not a saint, but I do got common sense, right? And it's just like, I'm saying things that might affect people in different ways. But I'm like, and my thing is the audio gotta match the video, right?

So I'm saying, you know what I'm saying? I'm saying this stuff, but I'm doing something else, right? And I gotta get on line with what I'm saying this stuff, but I'm doing something else. And I gotta get on line with what I'm saying. So now I'm walking into, and it was the scariest thing in my life. And by the way, just to be clear, I was met with a moment where I knew it was a moment. Meaning I was, my first album came out,

I was selling, and this is a Statue of Liberty Texas, by the way, anybody listen, I'm good. I talked to my lawyers about it. And I had to make a, I had to make a decision, which was one of the biggest decisions, I had to make a decision, what I was gonna do,

because I was trying to balance the streets and music, and I had some small piece of success and I had to walk away cold turkey from the streets. Now mind you, that mean depend on music, right? And when I did that, I had three of those next-tailed turp phones, that's what we used to talk on, and all those phones had a lot of money on them. Like people owed me money.

And I woke up and I just said, I'm not doing this no more. I put the phones in the bag, threw them in the trash bin in my building, and I walked away, right? And that was like my first, like, okay, I'm gonna do this music stuff. Now mind you, about eight months later,

I'm performing at a show and tear my vocal cords. Now I can't talk. at a show and tear my vocal cords. Now I can't talk. Oh my God. I got a record deal with a major label. Oh my God. I can't talk. I got shows booked up from here to 2000 whatever. I can't go on the stage.

And that was the first time he humbled me. He humbled me. He humbled me. He humbled me. And I had to really look at this and go, I'm so close. This could happen, what do I need to do? And there was just a lot of praying, a lot of confusion. And then he let me live.

I got a throat surgery that I didn't have insurance at the time, imagine, I had Lamborghinis, all this stuff and no health insurance, imagine that. So I had to pay for my surgery with cash and then I got back out there and I started the same thing. And then that's when he hit me again with Bell's palsy. Oh my God.

He hit me with Bell's palsy in my face. For real. He hit my face. I got crooked and my mouth was, and it was like my eye was shut. Was that from stress? That was God. Cause he let me live again,

and I went back out and started doing the same thing, and was going about it the same way. And after that, I was just like, you know what, man, I gotta change something because I've been too blessed. You know what I'm saying? And now I'm looking at it and I'm going like, the next thing might not even be something I can recover from.

And that's what started me to just start to understand that I gotta start fixing some of my ways and It first started with like a lot of my personal stuff I would do like, you know, just you know, I came from a situation where if you sit down with somebody It's like sitting down and you're being interrogated. I'm not gonna tell you the truth I can't you know said it's like it's against the code and it might get me in a lot of trouble But then I started to notice that a grown man should never lie Even if it's gonna get him out of trouble. You know what I'm saying?

So now I gotta change this. You know, and that wasn't easy to do because I was taught to say whatever I had to say to get out of any situation. And now I'm having to work through this. And that was like the first step and then it started going on different steps, different steps.

And when I got to a place where I started to, to answer your question, when I got to a place where I started to to answer your question when I started to Realize that I got it. I got to do some work. Mm-hmm, right? I didn't know where I didn't know where to start I just started YouTube and stuff talking to older people Telling I had my business partner nice been my business partner for like 20 years I'll just go sit with him and tell him what's really going on like man. I got about five people trying to kill me Like I got beef for these guys over here and that, and then this is happening.

That was, I was in the shootout last week, and now this is that, and I gotta go to California, and this is happening, and he's just like, okay, okay, just calm down. Okay, what are you concerned about most? And then we started to work through proms, and he's like, okay, well, have you ever thought about reaching out to them and just having a conversation?

But my thing was, they're the opposition, so I gotta press, because I can't let my guys think that I'm trying to sort all these things out. And I just start to understand that there is a such thing called conflict resolution. So that started to help me out a little bit as far as my life.

And now I got in a space where I started having a little peace, and I was able to start working on myself, like my health and reading books and just all these different things. And that thirst for knowledge came back in, because I hate learning in school. When I was in school, I dropped out of school

in the sixth grade. I got my GED when I was in boot camp. That's crazy. Right, and then around that time, it just hit me again. I just had this thirst for knowledge. And I just started going around asking people questions. And think about this now. It went from me asking somebody that I knew

that worked at a restaurant that I just felt like had some type of prestige. From that point to me calling John Maxwell and going, hey, I got seven questions I need to ask you. You know John, he like shoot them at me. To that, to Robert Green, to Robin Shermer, to all these different people. Tony.

Tony Robbins. And all these, and not to name drop, but it's just like, I'm getting this information now to give back to the coach. Because I'm able to go outside of my comfort zone and get it. But this stuff helps me with my life as well. Like we was talking about Lewis earlier.

But I've always been that type of person. So to answer your question, I got the information from the people that I respected at the time that I was able to mingle with. And I don't come as a, you know, my reputation exceeds me. I mean, like I don't come, and by the way, the most gangsta's guys weren't from are the coolest guys you ever see.

They're not loud, they're not boisterous, they're like Denzel and American Gangsta. They're real smooth, but they will reach out and touch you. I gotta tell you, this is like an all time great conversation, it's all time great conversation. A lot of things about you that I noticed, one is like how self-aware you are. Just driving out here, it's like, I think you were here today,

like there's millions of people where we're like, oh my God, this is unbelievable. But at the same time, lately on this show, God sends me the right person in that seat for me. Like I've got some stuff going on in my life right now that's not great, and some of it's betrayal stuff with other people like we're talking about. However, I was just talking to somebody,

actually someone who's producing a TV show I'm doing right now. Literally before you got here, I was driving out here, and I said, I wanna figure out what God's trying to teach me with this lesson. And that's one of the things you said earlier, is like, what am I supposed to be learning from this? What am I supposed to be, I'm not gonna get nothing,

Eric Thomas says all the time, you better get something for your pain. And the other thing you do very well is a lot of times when you begin to teach things you're learning, you begin to own them more. So a lot of you that are learning things, listening to the show, you don't teach it enough to other people.

And the more you begin to teach it, the more you actually begin to live it. People think, I can't teach any of this until I'm living it. No, you could say, look, I'm not good at this yet, but this is what I'm learning. And the more you begin to teach something, I've found in my own life,

like not everything I've taught all the time I was doing at the time, but I was honest enough to say I wasn't. This isn't me yet. Let me tell you, this is what so and so gave me advice on or what I know I need to change about me. And the more I taught things, the more I own them. The other thing I've always wanted to know about you,

because, and I know the answer because it's in the book and in interviews you've done, but of all the people you collaborated with, one of the other things that holds people back in addition to, and by the way, I wanna step back, you play such an important role in culture right now because of what you just said. There are not enough people reaching people

in the communities you come from or young people with this knowledge and information. The world's different. This isn't 30 years ago where you could just get a Tony Robbins tape. There are dudes like me, guys like you, people like John, that this information's there, but it's not what most people from these communities

are consuming on their feet every single day. And the fact that you're saying, hey listen, I come from this, let me teach you this. And this could be someone from a particular culture, particular age group, particular part of the world. That's why I do this. This isn't, podcasting is not a big source of revenue. I mean, like I got businesses.

That's real. But what it is for me is, and by the way, serious, no, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. We're in the middle of a negotiation right now. That's a whole other story. But having said that, but I want to make sure that I acknowledge you and the role that you're playing.

And again, this combination. I received that brother. Yeah, I received that. It's a fact and the combination of your humility with your confidence is crazy. It's like an honor for me everybody to introduce this man to you. Cause today's going to be an absolute treasure

with the great Les Brown. So Les, thank you so much for being here. Well, you so much for having me and you're very modest. I'm looking at the greatest speaker on the planet. I don't think you can sneak up on me. I know when I'm in the presence of greatness, I listen to you. I thank you for the work that you're doing, the lives that you've transformed and the impact that you're making on the planet. The reason I ask you this is when I introduced you as the greatest speaker that I've ever seen and by the way I think that short changes, I believe greatest teacher, communicator that I've ever seen in my life and the other one that made the impact on me was Art

Williams, so I know you would both agree, this is a there was an amazing communicator, still is, and so I met him one time and he gave me a nice compliment about a talk I had given and so I said well there's only there's two I've ever seen in my life and I said it's you Mr Williams and I said and then Les Brown's in a class all his own and I said he's so talented and gifted and he stopped me and this leads to your mother again a situation that I know about I'd like you to share and goes, he's not that talented and gifted. He's a worker. He works less works at it. This is a skill he's developed. He wasn't born with this. He's worked at it. If you knew the people I know, this guy is on the road.

He works. And then I was listening to you and this amazing your mother's this theme in your life but when you were a young boy your mother lost the ability to work and So I think the story is she starts sort of like Making a little moonshine to sort of support the family right and something happens And I think you're like ten years old something like this right and then you got to take over Would you just share this because I think everything happens for us not to us. Our tests will be our testimony and your the the messes of our lives don't disqualify us. I think so many people think this mess I'm in this divorce this business failure this choice I made I'm not proud of that I'm ashamed of it. It disqualifies me my background my

upbringing I'm disqualified. Turns out you can turn those things into be your testimony and this situation with your mom I think start triggered this work ethic in you at a young age that Art told me about. Yes, mama she started selling homebrew and moonshine and it was difficult for us at that time for her raising seven children she was injured on a job. And so she promised our birth mother that these children will never go to bed hungry. We will always have a roof over our head and clothes on our back. And a man came, I'll never forget what you're talking about. So you've done your research as much as I've been doing research on you, you and I so much alike. And this guy, his name was Cal Hoon and he knocked on the door. He said, Leslie, how are you

doing? I said, fine. Mama always said, don't ever open the door without telling me. And I said, oh, hey, mama, no, no, no, no, don't tell her. I've got two friends with me. We're going to surprise her. Open the door. And I opened the door and let them come in. And one of the guys grabbed me, I was 10 years old in the throat and hit me on the side of the head and threw me up against the wall. And he said, she's back there in the room.

And they went back there and mama was selling homebrew and moonshine and he said, pull up the linoleum and they pull up the linoleum and she kept it under the floor of the house that we were in and they brought mama out and handcuffs. I said, mama, I'm so sorry. And she said, it's okay, Leslie, it's okay. And she never, ever, ever mentioned it when she came back. And so we don't have any relatives, we adopted.

So the neighbors, they will come in and bring us food from time to time. And I would collect copper and aluminum and sometimes stand in the corner, hey boy, come over and get on the truck with older men to move heavy equipment. But years later, fast forward, man, I had it in my heart. If I ever saw this guy again, I'll kill him. And boy, you know God, for he has a sense of humor. Here I am talking to my young son, John Leslie,

who's a speaker and trainer. I said, John Leslie, anger is a wind that blows out the lamp of the mind. He said, what do you mean by that daddy? I said, don't allow anger to cover you. Never make a decision while you are angry. It blows out the wind of the mind. You make decisions and do things that you will regret later.

At this time, a guy comes over and tapped me on the shoulder and he said hello sir, I just want you to know we here in Miami are so proud of you. I had a talk show that King World had paid me five million dollars to do that Les Brown talk show. Now look, I'll never forget his face. I said to myself, oh my god, this Calhoun. Now here's my son here and I'm looking at this guy's face and put my mother in jail and man, I was just shortening the breath and John Leslie said, dad are you all right? I said, no. And he, this guy just want to shake my man. Yes. Leslie, man, you, you, you're really making us all proud. And I said, Excuse me, sir, excuse me. And I went outside. And my son said, What's going on? It's

just something you ate. I said, No, no, no. no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's the one that put your grandmother in jail. And I promise if I ever saw him again, I would kill him. He said, oh God. I said, John Leslie, you know what? This is God moment. He said, why? I said, I got that hatred out of my heart for him because you were here. I have to model what I'm teaching you.

People say practice what you preach. But God put it in me. I got to preach what I practice. I got to forgive. And forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is remembering without anger. I forgive him, but most of all, I forgive myself. Please forgive me. God for carrying this anger and hatred all these years. Yeah.

I've never told this story before. Oh my gosh. I've never told this story before. Oh my gosh. Man, this thing, you know, for as long as I've had a point, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get. That's all I got to say about that. I can't believe you just shared that with us. I, oh my gosh, your life is one of the things about you

Les is that your life is such an example of what's possible. I mean everybody, I want you just picturing this about this beautiful man. I want you, this is a, he's born, his mother ends up giving him to adoption to Mamie, he and his brother. They live in these conditions, he's 10 years old, his mother has to go away for a while, he's got to support the family. He's had all these incidents he's had to observe up close. There are other ones with his mother when she's cleaning houses and this woman claps her hands because she's got to know when her mother's in a room because she's going to steal something, which his mother would never do. This man goes on to influence millions, I mean literally millions of people's lives and then this is what's great about all of us making

our dreams come true. When you make your dreams come true the dreams of other people and dreams you can't picture also come true because then he influences this goofy dude me 20 something years old working in an orphanage and it inspires me to change my life. So it's just your life is such an example and what's interesting to me Les is it was mainly tied to mom, meaning you wanted to do something great for your mother all your life. And that was bigger, I think, than any obstacle that got in your way. I'd like you to share this with people because I think most people don't understand the power of having something big you're going after that means more to you than the pain you're going to have to go through in order

to get it. I don't think enough people set huge big goals that are from the heart. Don't you agree? Yes, you said that. I was listening to you last night. You know, Dexter Yeager, as you know from Amway, he said if the dream is big enough, the odds don't matter. And so when you say dream big, that's major. One, there's power in pursuit. Because as Jim Rowan said,

it's not the accomplishment of the goal that matters. It's what you become in pursuit of the dream in the process. Because when you have a big dream, it will introduce you to a part of yourself that you don't know right now, that you will never discover in your comfort zone. Because in order to achieve that dream, you've got to die to who you are now. I must die daily.

You must die to who you are now to give birth to who you are to become. I believe that all of us have stories of greatness in us and follow me as I say this, as this downward. We all have stories of greatness within us. In the beginning was the word, thou shall create things shall be established unto you. When shall the kingdom of God come? Seek ye first the kingdom of God, his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. When shall it come? The kingdom of God, and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. When shall it come? The kingdom of God cometh not by observation, they shall say, is neither low there, nor

low here. Behold the kingdom of God is within you, and that kingdom is voice activated. So when you speak, people who are in a dark place, you will bring them out into the light. When you speak, somebody's got a gun to their head. When you speak, they realize life is God's gift to me and I live my life is my gift to God. When you speak, someone who's depressed and feeling anxious will remember, be anxious for nothing.

I'll keep thee in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on the so that's the power that you bring and all the products that you have on YouTube that I've I mean how ironic they said coincidence is God's way of staying anonymous. I've been so marinated listening to your stuff and then you've been listening to me. Come on, look at God, what a mighty God we serve. Come on, you can't make this stuff up. That's like my honor to think that you're listening to my stuff. I gotta tell you, you guys, you know, you just get what I started. I told you all, you just have this treasure. It's like you never want to stop hearing from Les. He's just remarkable and the way you pull things and download them from all these

places is just, it's mind-blowing. I wish I were that great. You are the messenger and you are the message. This message is sponsored by Greenlight and I gotta tell you I wish green light existed when I was a kid But I'm so grateful. It's existed for my kids So, you know, we all know the old saying give a man a fish he eats for a day Teach a man to fish and he eats for life. This isn't just true with fishing It's true for parents with their kids and one of the most under taught skills in life is financial success and responsibility And as we enter the gifting season now is the perfect time to give your kids money skills

That'll last well beyond the holidays and that's where green light comes in green light is a debit card and money app for families Parents can send money to their kids and keep an eye on kids spending and saving while kids and teens learn to build money confidence and lifelong financial literacy skills. One of the most important skills in life. Sign up for Greenlight today at Greenlight.com slash Ed. That's Greenlight.com slash Ed to try Greenlight today. Greenlight.com slash Ed. What does the future hold for business? Well let me tell you right now,

you can ask nine experts, you're probably going to get 10 different answers. Bull market, bear market rates are going to get cut. They're going to cut it five times, six times. Inflation is going to go up or down. Who the heck knows? You don't really have a crystal ball. And that's why I love NetSuite because you can get some measure of control in the most important areas possible in your business. So if somebody can get a crystal ball together that would be great but until then over 38,000 businesses have future proof their business with NetSuite by Oracle. The number one cloud ERP bringing accounting, financial management, inventory, HR into one fluid platform. Easy to use. We've been using them now for over a decade.

NetSuite helps you respond to immediate challenges and seize on your biggest opportunities Speaking of opportunity download the CFO's guide to AI and machine learning at net suite.com My let the guide is free to you at net suite.com Mylet net suite.com Mylet That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest.

My guest today, 13 years ago, today, was sentenced to essentially life in prison. 13 years ago today. And then he finds himself sitting across from me 13 years later, having completely transformed his life and has become one of the great speakers on planet Earth, one of the great influencers on planet Earth and has become dear friends with many of my best friends. And it's one of the most remarkable stories you are ever going to hear in your damn life. So get ready.

Strap in and here is Damon West. Damon, welcome to the show, brother. Let's go back first. And let's just go to 13 years ago today first. We can go back from there, but let's just go to that. What does that feel like when you hear the words that you are guilty and going away? What is the emotional feeling that someone like you, only you can experience? What is that moment like in someone's life?

I've always wondered. I've never been able to ask somebody that question before. Right. No, it's like looking down the barrel of a gun and someone pulled the trigger and that's it. I mean, they unloaded on me. And what does it feel like? It feels like rock bottom. That was my rock bottom moment. And it feels like I felt like I got punched

in the stomach really hard. When you know the wind has knocked out of you, when the judge read the sentence out, 65 years, and it was like, man, they just hit me with life. And I knew it was going to be bad, Ed, because I walked back in the courtroom. First of all, the trial lasted six days. Six days is a long criminal trial

for crimes that were non-aggravated. No one was ever home during the burgers I committed. They're all meth-related burgers, property crimes around meth related burgers, property crimes around meth. Now it doesn't mean I didn't do the crime. I did the crimes and I was a bad guy because when I broke into people's houses, my victims,

I didn't just steal their property, man. I stole their sense of security. And so I deserve to go to prison. But the trial lasted six days and over those six days, the jury heard the story of Damon West. And as they heard the story more and more, they began to resent and hate Damon West. And I could see it in their eyes.

I could feel it coming out of them. And they had every right to. Because here's a guy in front of them that had everything going on in life. Every advantage, every privilege, every opportunity. And Ed, at the end of that six day trial, they went to deliberate for 10 minutes. Oh my gosh.

10 minutes, bro. 10 minutes on your life. 10 minutes on your life. 10 minutes on my life. And then I came back in the courtroom. What? They give you a bologna sandwich whenever you're in the brakes back there. People don't see this, but in the back,

they have a holding cell, and they bring you lunch, because your lunch is a bologna sandwich when you're in jail. And I'm sitting there taking a couple bites of the bologna sandwich, and the bailiff comes in and says, they're ready. And I'm like, I couldn't even chew the sandwich. My throat knotted up.

I spit it out in the toilet. Are you freaking kidding me? Yeah, man, because it's like, oh, dude, that's not good. So I walk back into the courtroom, and I have two paid attorneys, Ed. I'm a white middle class guy in America. I've got two paid attorneys. I've never had a felony conviction.

I thought I was going to get probation that day. And I thought I'd be out getting high, because I'm still an addict in my addiction, right? And so I come back into the courtroom, and my second chair counselor, the woman named Karen Lambert, she said, brace yourself, it's gonna be bad. And I'm like, how bad, Karen?

She said, well, you were gone for that brief 10 minutes. The jury sent a note into the judge from the jury room. They wanted to know if they could give you life without parole. Ed, life without parole is a capital punishment. These aren't capital crimes. I'm like, Karen, that's crazy. She said, get ready.

And the judge came back in. Damon Joseph West, you were hereby sentenced to 65 years in the Texas Department of Criminal Justice. The first thing I heard. Gosh. Yeah, the first thing I heard was my mother gasp out loud. She's behind me in the courtroom. Oh, that's a part.

You know, the sound only a mother can make when she hears her son get a life sentence in prison. And Ed, that day, there's so much going on. And after the moments over, the sheriffs are on me, the bailiffs are on me, they handcuffed me. They're dragging me out of the courtroom. And I lock eyes with my mom on the way out the door. And all I can think to say to my mom, Ed, is, I'm sorry, mom.

And I don't even know that I fully understood that. I've meant it or anything like that. But it's the only thing I can think to say to my poor mother. My father's there too. But Ed, right after that trial was over, my mother and my dad are brought in to this... They put me in this little room, it's got a bulletproof glass, and they told me to wait on the other side of the glass.

And my mom and my dad were escorted, and they feel sorry for my parents, because I just got life. And so my mom... has a conversation with me. It's a five minute little one off deal and she's just on it man and she's telling me, she's like, you know, Damon, debts in life demand to be paid. You just got hit with one heck of a bill

from the state of Texas. Cause she said, you did the things they said you did. So you're gonna have to go to prison. You're gonna pay that debt. You owe Texas that debt. She said, but you owe your father and I debt too. She said, we gave you all the opportunity, love and support to be anything you want to be in life.

And she said, that's how you just repaid us Damon. She said, that's not gonna work. And she's reminding me, she said, we raised you in Port Arthur, Texas, a giant multi-pot of a city, gave you a great moral compass, what you chose to not use. She said, so here's the debt you're gonna pay to us.

Now, Ed, here it is, man. This is the direction of my life. This is those moments that you come to and you say, this is where it changed. She said, when you go to prison, you will not get into one of these white hate groups, one of these Aryan brotherhood type of gangs, because you're scared. Cause you're the minority in there. She said, that's not going to work. You were never raised to be a racist. You're not going to start now.

She said, you will not get, she said, you will not get any tattoos while you're inside that prison. You don't have any. No, I don't have any tests, man. I mean, and I was in the joint for almost 10 years, man. These guys, they want to tattoo every inch of your body in a joint. Man, every time these guys would come up to me in prison, Wes, let me put a tattoo on you, man.

I'd be like, man, dude, I can't do it. Man, my mom said no. Yeah, because she did. Because listen to what she said next on May 18th, 2009, 13 years ago today, she says, Damon, no gangs, no tattoos. She said, you come back as the man we raised, or don't come back at all.

Oh my gosh, brother. I was floored, Ed. Yeah, your mom rose to the occasion, really, right there. Rose, and she's a nurse, man. She's used to traumatic situations, right? She compartmentalized all the pain and got to work. And I asked my mom since then, I said, Mom, what was it like for you?

Because I'm very, like I said, I wanna ask you questions today, I wanna ask mom, what was it like for you? Because I'm very, like I said, I want to ask you questions. I want to ask questions. I want to understand people in the moment. She said, Damon, what I envisioned was my son is on a gurney dying and I'm doing triage to save my son's life. And I stepped up and that was what came to me from the Holy Spirit. She said, and my mom's a very devout Christian woman.

So she said, that's what came to me. But it was like you were on a gurney dying and I've got to stem the flow of blood or you're gonna die. My gosh, so everyone, I want you to step back for a second. First thing is you're hearing this unbelievable story, right? And we're gonna go deeper on it. But I want you to know, as we go through this story, you're gonna begin to hear some of the turnarounds

and the strategies and the tactics that have produced this guy sitting in front of me, because some of the people that I admire and respect most in the world have been recommending Damon Toomey for some time. And God's just so amazing, man. this guy sitting in front of me, because some of the people that I admire and respect most in the world have been recommending Damon to me for some time. And God's just so amazing, man. We've been, you know, kind of trying to put something

together for a while and I send you a message on Instagram, I go, hey, May 18th, get there. Yeah, that's it, man. You're like, I'll come, right? And little do I know that that'd be the 13 year to the day anniversary of you getting life. And because I had no idea what the date, I didn't even know what the significance meant at all.

So God is just absolutely amazing that he sends you to me on that day. I call it God thanks the date. I didn't even know what the significance meant at all. So God is just absolutely amazing that he sends you to me on that day. I call it God thanks, man. That's what I text you, dude. You're never going to believe this. Not only is it the 13 year anniversary, it's my three year anniversary of being married. My wife and I, Kendall and I got married 10 years to the day that I got sentenced to life in prison.

You came to see me on your anniversary. Now I really love you. Thank you. And your wife probably hates me, but thank you. No, we were in Mexico a couple of weeks ago. Since that video, we were in Mexico. And so we went for our anniversary trip a week early, a couple of weeks early, because I have so many speaking engagements going on.

Isn't this good to hear by the way? Because now you guys know there's like a happily ever after at some point, but let's stay in this thing here. So, okay, you get sentenced, but let's go back. They were meth, it sounds pretty severe from what I understand happened. You had nonviolent robberies basically in your history and you were a meth addict, is that accurate?

Absolutely. Okay, so that's a long time. Life in prison was 65 years for nonviolent, you know, robberies, but let's just, you did the crime and you did time for it, just seems excessive to me and I think it is excessive, but let's go back. You get raised by obviously these beautiful parents, you're an unbelievable athlete, right?

What was it one decision that altered the direction of your life? Is it one time you just decided to use drugs once and you just bam, you were hooked? Or what took place, what took you down the road that led you 13 years ago to this day to sitting in that room? Yeah, you know, whenever I was younger,

I got into substance abuse at a young age. My gateway drug was alcohol. It was the first thing I ever did. I got into my dad's beer when I was 10, you know? And after that, I smoked pot when I was 12. And I had a lot of character issues, man. But I could throw a football. And this is Texas, man.

Texas high school football. It's like a religion in my home city. These people are very serious about their football. And I was the man. I was a three-year starting quarterback for a 5 a school. So my behaviors never were, I never, I was never held accountable for my behaviors and I'm not blaming anybody else

for that. It's just, I mean, but I, um, I didn't, I didn't get held accountable. I was a good student. I made grades, um, got a scholarship to play football at the university or Texas. But I think the one decision that I made is that I got into substance abuse at a young age. I had no idea that I was an addict. You know, you don't, there's not a genetic test for this yet. I mean, maybe there will be one day, but I was an addict. And once I put in those chemicals for the first time,

I liked the way it felt. I liked the buzz I got from drinking. Then I wanted to try something different. And it wasn't until I got to college that I got into more hardcore drugs. I was playing football and I got injured. I had a career in an injury in 1996 against Texas A&M. I'm 20, man.

I was a starting quarterback. You played sports, man. You know how big it is until when your career ends, prematurely, you're not ready for this. It's your whole dream. It's your whole world. It was my identity. That's the problem, man.

I wrapped my identity up into something external. And I see people all the time in the world. We see people that wrap their identities up into something external, their money, their job, whatever. That's not you, man. What's you is inside you. I didn't get that back then though, Ed. I didn't get the memo, right?

So I got into hardcore drugs in 96. Cocaine, ecstasy pills, graduated college, went off to work and worked in the United States Congress, worked for a guy running for president, worked on Wall Street. Ed, I was a Wall Street, I was training to be a stockbroker in Dallas when I was introduced to meth for the first time.

But now we're back to the one decision of substance abuse, man. Once I put the chemicals in at a young age, I liked the way it felt and I chased that. You also, if you don't mind saying it, we're gonna go a little bit more personal, but I don't know if it was at the time or later, you sort of uncovered that there's probably a not very fair incident that happened to you when you were a young man as well. That you're maybe, maybe you're masking it a little. Oh, yeah, no, when I was nine, I was, I was molested by a babysitter, female babysitter, and this is, so,

but I'm careful when I, when I talk about it, I'm careful not to say that, hey, you know, this is what happened to me, and this is the road I went down because of that, because some people are really, some people have very traumatic experiences with that. This was a female babysitter that we were doing things. I was nine years old when this happened.

No nine-year-old should be doing the stuff I was doing. But it didn't affect me in the sense that it's like, oh my God, my world was turned upside down. I can't believe this happened to me. What happened to me with that is I got introduced to adult behaviors at a very young age. It's like someone lets you inside that big door. And once you got on the other side of that door at nine,

which you're not supposed to be on the side of that door at nine, there's all these other doors, but those doors aren't locked. Those doors are for adults. You can just open doors with those cause you make choices. And but I got on the other side of that door at nine years old and now there's drinking, they're smoking, they're smoking dope. There's, you know, skipping school, cutting classes, you know, chasing girls, all that stuff. I got introduced to that at a very young age.

So that- Very well said, very well said. Yeah, and so I don't- I love how you just said that. I don't wanna use it as a crutch because I know that some people are very dramatically affected by that. And I'm not trying to minimize the fact

that it did affect me, but what it did to me is it introduced me to adult behaviors at a very young age. And when I touched that live wire of substances, I liked it. I have a man here who's become such a dear friend of mine and a trusted advisor. I've only had one other person on the show three times.

So you are now breaking a record, brother. You are a ratings machine. So Dean Graciosi, welcome back to the show, my brother. So good to be here. And I have to tell you, you're the best, you're the most gracious host ever. First off, I really believe whatever it takes for you, before I tear, I thought what Munger and Buffett did

was so good, I love those two guys. But before we get that, like whatever it takes, I'm just gonna share, if you take nothing else from this podcast today, take this. Whatever it takes, if it's listening to Ed Mylett's book or Tony Robbins or something from yourself or something else. If there's something you read, if something is, if you pray, if you talk to God, if you go to church,

it's different from everybody, but whatever it takes to keep you in a space of, I'm gonna live into my inner purpose. I'm gonna tap into my full potential rather than playing small and playing scared. You figure out, this isn't a show about personal development. You can read Ed's book and lots of other things, but do something to keep you focusing on where you

can go and not sit on your hands. I was with Tom Bilyeu two weeks ago and he said during times like this people talk about fight or flight. He goes, that's not what happens here. It's the third F. They all freeze. So true. And I was like, wow, I got goose bumps. I was like, that's right. So unfreeze yourself, whatever it takes. Secondly, very good goose I was like that's right So unfreeze yourself whatever it takes second very good. Yeah, very good So so the second thing once you start realizing that we're not giving you that answer to him saying go find that answer But the other thing I love what what Buffett said he said during a recession during inflation Invest in yourself get get better at what you decide to do than anybody else because if it's he said Reich Marx or seashells get better at what you decide to do than anybody else because if it's he said Reichmarks or seashells you'll just get more the pie so if it's a deflated

dollar when you used to get to go get six because you're better at what you do I know it sounds so simple but it's like duh it doesn't stop staring at the competition let me stop talking to my friends about how things go bad you know the conversation at your dinner tables are getting different be the only one that's saying to know I'm to find the gold in this downtime. Can I say something on that as well? Yeah. I want to play off that with you.

I'm big on this quote of separation season where I'll say, hey, it's the summertime. Everyone's flinching. This is where you hit the accelerator because you don't catch people in front of you when they're at full speed. It's harder. You can, but it's harder. You catch them when they flinch, they relax, they freeze. And that's their seasons.

And usually it's seasonal, meaning like, okay, August, people start to freeze or July, they're gone, they're flinching or Christmas time. Everyone takes time off. Then there are economic cycles that are separation seasons. And I think that's where we are now. They're going to freeze, they're going to panic, they're gonna buy into the collective group think

of the world, which is this isn't the time to accelerate. This isn't the time to do it. And when they're going that way, you go the other way. The other thing that happens during these times, if you find your lane, you and I have both tremendous wealth buying assets in those times that were massively on sale. And so you have the accelerator of both your brand, your business doing well, and you acquiring things at super discounted prices,

potentially. So you have this double multiplier. Okay, so let me ask you something. You've had so much incredible success. And if we laugh at each other, where we came from, similar backgrounds. Very similar. A dad's everything.

But at this point, I feel beyond blessed with the success I've had. I know you do too. Yes. And amazing that the interview you just did I hope it's your number one. I hope the interview before me is your number one interview in history, right? Thank you. But I have a desire to work even harder right now because I know the opportunities that are coming. Me too. It's a mental like like I wish I could give it

to everyone like I'm like how do I grind? How do I make another X, X, Y and Z? Because I know that everything is on sale and everything's gonna be even more I could give it to everyone. Like, I'm like, how do I grind? How do I make another X, X, Y, and Z? Because I know that everything is on sale and everything's going to be even more deeply discounted. So whatever it takes to motivate you when everybody's sitting down freezing, having negative conversations, you should be investigating, look where the puck is going and say, how do I accumulate more cash so I can buy things at a discount? Because when it shifts that multiplier is unlike anything you could imagine.

100%. You go from doing okay to when people say, how you doing? You get that smile like, I'm feeling okay. What's that look like for you right now? Like, are you, do you read certain things? Do you journal? Are you visualizing? Are you looking for problems to solve?

Like, what's that look like for you? All, all the above. I've been, I've been geeking out on books, different books than I ever had before, because listen, we all like to learn, right? And we all grow. I'm keeping my mindset super strong, but I think the opportunities are going to come so strong and we have to be mentally prepared. I think in times like these, you do need to invest in yourself and grow yourself. If you'd have told me back in 1987 or whenever the heck it was that I got my personal power tapes and I read Unlimited Power by Awaken the Giant with Wynn and Tony's books, if you'd have told me someone like Dean Graziosi or Tony Robbins would give me their time for free

where I can learn from them, I just thought you were absolutely out of your damn mind. And so a couple things that I think you have to do during this window is you got to invest in yourself and if you can surround and change your peer group instantly with the best in the world you should do it. You and I were talking off camera. You and I are working on right now, me and you to spend a full day together to strategize about our lives and our businesses. There's a bunch of things that I want to learn from you that you and I have talked about. And so if someone can actually get that time with you for free and with Tony Robbins, that is a monster win.

And the other thing I'll say is this, great people want to accept challenges. Great people want to be challenged even in their most difficult times. In fact, at this stage of my life, one of the frustrating things for me, Dean, is that it is a smaller circle. There's very few people who challenge me. So I love when I work out with a training partner

and they challenge me. And three more, three more. I'm like, all right, you did three more, I'm doing one more. The power of one more, right? To be challenged. Today's special for me, because I get to share with you,

I just think one of the most remarkable people walking the earth, she's an amazing woman. I just, you know, I like her very much. And so any chance I get a chance to any opportunity to spend time with her is a blessing for me. And I know it'd be a blessing for all of you. You all know who she is. There's a lot of things I can say. She's a journalist. She's an author, Emmy award winner. She was the first lady of California. She's a philanthropist, but she's just a remarkable and good human being. And you're going to feel her spirit today. So I'm really grateful she's here.

Maria Shriver, welcome to the show. Thank you, Ed. I'm kind of blushing. It's all true. And there's like 80 other things I can say. You mentioned self-confidence twice pretty early on. And it's interesting. I would think that when people look at you, you come from a successful family.

You're my dear friends. I'm allowed to say this. You're beautiful, articulate, successful person. I would think self-confidence was really something you had. Is that something you've struggled with or had to work on yourself in your life? Yeah, I think anybody I try to say to my kids self-confidence, you have to earn self-confidence. You have to earn self-esteem. Nobody just bestows it on you and says, here it is, you know, take it and go. I think particularly if you are in a family where people are excelling at the level they were excelling in my family, it's pretty big, you know, excelling. So I was pretty much everybody in my house and in my cousin's era, they were everybody was running for president. So, you know, that's how people were excelling. So I think you, you have to, and I would adjust that to maybe everybody in your

family is a doctor or preacher or, you know, a pastor, whatever it is, a real estate person, everybody, I think has to find their own self confidence and earn it. And I was an only girl, four brothers, and I was raised in a very testosterone dominated arena. I knew that if I wanted to get my parents' attention, if I wanted to single myself out in this larger clan that I was in, I was going to have to find my own thing. I was going to have to work my ass off and I was going to have to develop my own self-confidence in who I was, separate from being somebody's niece or daughter or cousin. And that was a really driving force in my life and has been, you know, for pretty much all my life, you know, that I would be my own person, my own name, my own journey. And that took a lot for me to craft that out.

But with it came self-confidence. Yeah. Thank God you did that because I don't, I don't know that if you don't, I think you can't give somebody something that you're not experiencing. It's pretty difficult to give you, give the gift of that. And thank God you developed that because you ended up creating a family

that was very similar in the sense of achievement and public achievement and those things. And I've met your children, one of them, Patrick, I know far better than all the other ones, but they all seem to have that same sense of contribution, making their own way. They've sort of modeled your, Maria has this very beautiful nuance of very strong, but

a kindness that comes with it simultaneously. And I think that's reflected in your children too, but they've all made their own way and are making their own way, even though they come from a family that's achieving. True, you probably had to instill that in them. Well, I tried to talk to them about that. I tried to acknowledge that that was going to be challenging for them, that they had a very famous last name. They came from, they had famous parents, they came from kind of a long lineage and people

would assume certain things about them and that I understood that, that I had come from the same place. That might be something their dad hadn't understood because I think it's very different when you're the one making the legacy. Yeah. This is the one inheriting it and having to uphold it and then trying to carve out your own version. And so I grew up in a legacy. I grew up with a family that said, here, look what we've done, match it, deal with it, honor it, take care of it, uphold it. What are you going to do with it? And then I think Arnold built his his own legacy, right? And so our kids

have had to deal with like, okay, here it is. Do you want to honor it? Do you want to uphold it? Do you want to have anything to do with it? Do you want to be free from it? And so I've tried to have that conversation with them, you don't have to have anything to do with this if you don't want to. You can go off and do whatever you want to do. I think we were both very united in saying to them, you don't have to do what we're doing. You don't have to do what your grandmother, your grandfather did, but you have to do something.

Yeah. You have to find some way to give back to the world. You have to work. You have to develop a work ethic. You have to craft your own life, design your own life. But you don't have to carry what your dad's done, what your mom has done, what your grandmother, your grandfather have done, if you don't want to. If you do, great.

I think, I mean, I'll interrupt you Maria, but I really think this is so important because the people that listen to the show, by and large, are people that are breaking, they're becoming the one in their family for the most part. I call it the one where you do sort of change your family tree forever, right? You're an achiever. And so most of you, you know, maybe you're not going to be the president or the governor, but you're the breakaway person in your family. And then if you're going to be raising children in that environment, this lesson's huge that these conversations have to happen. I noticed even with my son, Max, when he was younger, I started to sense this pressure that I wasn't

putting on him, but our conditions put on him that he had to live up to what dad did, or if I have an average life, it's going to be miserable because of what I came from. And, and I remember having these conversations with him very similar to what you've had. So you parents that are listening to this, that are the achiever in your family, this is a really, really big deal. And if some of you don't know, I mean, you know, Marie was, was first lady of California when Arne was the governor, and then she's also a Kennedy and a Shriver. And so there's a lot going on in that family. And, uh, you know, when you have

uncles that are the president of the United States, there's kind of a, it's kind of a big version of what we're describing in our lives. But I just wanted to ask you that. And on that, it's like, I'm going to go to your books because I just recommend everybody's, you should read these books, many of them. And by the way, you should read her Sunday paper every Sunday that comes out. It's awesome. It's your personal development person. There's so much richness in this experience. And Maria approaches it. She said testosterone earlier, she even reminds me sometimes dial that down a little bit, you know, there's a there's a there's not a lot of, I think often in

self help personal development. I don't know what I would call it. I don't really believe in these things, but sort of a feminine energy to the same topics that brings a nuance in a perspective, don't you agree that's different from someone else? And you bring that. Well, thank you. And I think I just wanted to pick up on your thing about you're speaking to quote, the one,

people who are the one in the family who are breaking away, the achievers. I think there's so many ways that we don't talk about to quote break away or break a cycle. And it doesn't always have to be in being the quote successful one. There are so many different ways to break a cycle of silence that might exist in a family, a cycle of shame that might exist in a family, a cycle of shame, anger, all of these things that exist in families, there's a way to break those cycles as well

and be the one in that respect. So the one isn't necessarily the one making all the money. It's the one who is following their path, I think who has the courage and the bravery to chart their own course. And I think that's really, you know, when we talk about feminine strength, I think for I grew up in a time my mother was certainly an incredibly strong woman, started Special Olympics, was tough, but she dressed like a man. She only had male friends. She went to work with a briefcase like a guy.

She was fighting all the time to be at that table. She smoked cigars. She only just kind of, you know, she was a force, right? And I came into journalism when there were no women in it, right? And women were coming in and you had to wear a power suit and you had to work twice as hard. And if you had a baby, you had to come back in a week

and you had to do a lot of things that perhaps this generation doesn't have to do. So I think what is the model of feminine, all encompassing feminine strength? And I try to speak a lot to the ideal of holding these qualities of tenderness and toughness, strength and sexiness, feminine beauty and vulnerability, but also being aware that anger is in there,

strength is in there, intelligence is in there, as is, you know, these other kind of more traditionally feminine qualities. And I think that's the conversation when we think about feminine power that I'd like to be having this generation and others to have. So it's kind of being able to take care of yourself, but also need someone else and lean on someone else, and be able to celebrate care of yourself, but also need someone else and lean on someone else and be able to celebrate your femininity and your sexuality,

but also hold your ground and have boundaries. And these are things you learn through life, but that was not part of the conversation when I was in my 20s or 30s. By the way, I don't think, first off, everybody listening, you need to go rewind that part back and send that to your favorite woman, not listening to the show right now.

I by the way, I want to just say, I don't think it's being said right now very much, which you just said, which is why you're so so important. I think people know you. I know the multiple sides of you. I think a lot of people are getting exposed to this side of you. Maybe on my show for the first time, this, this person who really reflects on life really cares about human beings. And I think there's, I don't know, I think one thing we share in common is like, we, we,

we take our life seriously, I don't take myself, maybe sometimes I take myself too seriously. But I do take this gift of being here, pretty darn seriously, like I want to, I always call it maxing out, but I want to contribute as much as I can. I want to grow as much as I can. I want to pause as much as I can at this stage in my life too. That's become much more important. But one thing I did do because my dad was good at this,

my father could care less about material things, achievement. It was not even really discussed. It was who are you going to be? Not what are you going to be? And I, that's something that my dad said over and over. So I'm researching more about my friend here and I read this quote. You said, I've learned that asking ourselves, not just what we want to be. I'm like, this is my father said this to me, but who do we want to be is important at every stage also of our lives. And she has this book called Just Who Will You Be, right?

But would you talk about that? And this changes, Maria, wouldn't you agree at different stages of our lives? But not enough people ask the question. I think absolutely. I think, you know, it's a good time to ask it coming out of this pandemic. We're all very different people than we were before this pandemic. How are we coming out? How are we taking the gift of coming out and going out into the world? What have we learned? How have we changed?

What did we notice during that time? Who checked in on us? Who did we check in on? Who turned out to be important? What turned out to be important? So I think it's you know, I used to always say that I noticed growing up in a political family, it was the only profession that penalized you if you changed your mind and still does, by the way, doesn't allow for you to have been affected by life to change the

mind, you're always putting all always putting, oh, you're a flip-flopper, you're a changer. And I don't want to, you know, to me, what's really troublesome, somebody at 50, who's exactly the same as they were at 30. Me too. That's a problem because that means that for 20 years, nothing made you think, nothing made you reevaluate,

nothing impacted you. How could that be? How could that be? How could that be? Right. And so like in that last book I wrote, I've been thinking, I write a lot about all the things that I was wrong about, that I've changed my ideas about. Because life has happened to me, right? My parents are both dead. I got separated after being with one person for 34 years. My kids are grown up. They've left their house.

I've achieved certain things in my journalism career that propelled me. So I've got to be different at this age than I was in my 20s. That was one of my questions, Maria. What is one thing you used to really believe about life that you no longer believe? Just one thing. Oh my God. What I mean, I used to think that, you know, weakness was kindness. I used to think that, you know, being gentle was a sign of weakness.

I used to believe, oh my God, I have so many things I used to believe. I used to believe you had to earn your way into your parents' heart. I really believed that. I really believed that if I did well in my professional career, that my parents would love me. And if I didn't do well, they wouldn't. I was wrong about so many things. I believed that divorce was a huge sin.

I believed that I grew up as a Catholic, I believed that priests were infallible. I believed that women should be secondary citizens in the church. So today I'm angry at my church. I believed that the Democratic Party was the only way. I resigned from the Democratic Party. I believed, I never believed I'd be

sitting here single at my age. I would have thought that that was like, what's up with that girl? That she's single at that age, you know, that she'd not have anybody who loves her. What's wrong with her? So there's a lot of stuff that I thought if I were that 30-something year old, 35, 40 year old girl looking at me that I would have made a judgment about.