THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Ed Mylett - 10 Keys To Maxing Out Your Life

Episode Date: August 8, 2018

I’ve been blessed to have had tremendous mentors and great experiences throughout my life. I believe that success leaves clues. I’ve learned from a lot of my mistakes and a few of my successes. I’ve had the privilege to be interviewed on hundreds of programs. I wanted to distill them down to 10 strategies for a blissful, successful and fulfilled life. These 10 Keys are some of the rules, ideals and beliefs I’ve taken away from these life experiences and now live by religiously. Take a listen, and write some notes down because these are things you can implement NOW, to change your life FOREVER.

This is the Edmila show, fitness, finances, and family. We all know someone right now in our life where we have who's not ethical, who's not a good person, who's winning, and you're like, I can't believe they're getting it right? Why can't I? I'm a good person, I treat people while I'm honest. Most people's will to win is for sale. Most people's will is for sale. The win is for sale. Grab a snack and chew on today's lessons from a man who went from growing up in a middle class family to building one of the most successful financial service businesses to now being

one of the top motivational speakers in the world. He's Ed Mylett and here's my take on his top 10 rules for success. Okay, let's kick it off with rule number one. My personal favorite, alter your beliefs. There's this governor on our lives, and it is a governor, and it's your identity. It's this internal, it's what you think you're worth, it's what you think you deserve. And the problem for good people, see, we all know someone right now in our life Or we have who's not ethical who's not a good person who's winning and you're like I can't believe they're getting it right Why can't I I'm a good person I treat people while I'm honest here's reason why by the way the unethical person eventually

Karma You reap what you sow comes home to roots, but if you're a good, this is so important people understand this because it took me a long time. A good person in any endeavor will only take from it what they think they deserve, what they think they're worth. In other words, if there was a pizza here, you're a good person. You don't take all 12 pieces. A good person thinks there should be an equitable distribution. I'm a little bigger so I might take seven or eight, you know, and I would arm wrestle you for it. I don't know about that, you're a moose. But long story short, what is, is that you, a good person will not take more from the table of life

than they think they're worth or they think they deserve. And so you have this governor on your identity. So what happens is our, it's like a thermostat. Our lives get going. We start doing really well. If we're a 75 degreeer and our life gets to 85 and 90 degrees, unconsciously we go, we don't know we're doing it. We start to cool life back down to get it back

to where we're comfortable. That reverse is also true when things start to go really bad and you're broke and you're struggling, you find a way to heat your life back up to what you think you're worth and you deserve. So the way we alter our life is sure we got alter our behavior and our relationships and our circumstances, but the only way it's permanent is that we alter that governor, that thermostat and we

start to believe we're worth 85 degrees of life, 95 degrees of life, 110 degrees of life. And there's ways we can alter that. How do we alter it? Couple different ways. A, one is what you just said, is that you put yourself in circumstances that are demanding of you pass what you think your capacity is and when you succeed at them, you build a new water line. You do. You throw yourself out there past where you're comfortable and you do an 85-degreeers behavior and you knock it out of the

park and you go, your brain starts to believe it. Repetitiously, when you start doing that, you build a new line. Now you're 85 degrees. That's number one. The second way, though, is association. If you're around people and whatever that endeavor is, if it's a sport you're 85 degrees. That's number one. The second way though is association. If you're a round people, and whatever that endeavor is, if it's a sport you're in, or if it's a business, or your faith, or your peace, if you begin to associate with people who live in that space at a higher temperature than you, through association, you get heated up.

And so if you're an athlete, for example, you're a 70 degree athlete, and you start training all the time with 85 and 90 degreeers Your identity through osmosis goes up if your person is trying to improve their faith in their life or their their personal Peace about them you all know this you've seen it when you start to hang around people that are a little bit more peaceful than you or meditate a little bit more through that Association over time the thermostat changes in that area and so it's both behaving in certain way and then your associations is really changing. I believe that. Rule number two, don't sell your will to win.

Most people's will to win is for sale. Most people's will is for sale. The win is for sale. They can be bought. I can't be bought. So if we give you a just, most people, if we give you just enough money, if there's a certain dollar amount,

you'd stop working hard. We get a title, we stop working hard. We give you a car or a plane or a house. Or we have the book, bro. That's the book. Is that the book? Yeah, that might be the book. That is the book.

It's a book. You're a will to win is for sale. That's right. And I decided once I realized that because I watched it happen with people in their body and their finances and their family and their faith, whatever it is, I'm not for sale. So there isn't a place you're going to buy me.

You can't get me. There's not a stop, a place, a destination where you're going to get me to relent, to quit. I want to improve. That doesn't mean I don't struggle with my motivation from time to time. Yeah, yeah. Doesn't mean I don't get confused or down. Of course I do, but I'm not for sale. You can't buy me.

And you know this too. We see a friend's of ours. Even guys in their 60s, they sold their company for blah, blah, blah. Now, they golf nine days a week or whatever, you know? That's fun, but they're for sale. They were bought. You were bought. You were for sale. I'm not for sale. Rule number three, serve people. Everything in your life happens for you, not to you. I'm just a huge believer in that. And so on my baseball dream ended, I had an injury, probably gave me a premature end to occur.

That would have ended anyways in hindsight hindsight because I played with enough great players That I kind of know there was a gap in just God-given ability level not work ethic But I think to be the greatest there has to be some precivity for it and work ethic, right? And so I kind of maxed out my limited abilities And so when I got released I ended up moving back home with my parents. I couldn't find a job I was depressed. I spent about a year at my parents' house just broke in every way, financially, spiritually, mentally, physically. I remember my dad came home.

My dad had just got sober and my dad said to me, hey, I met this guy at a meeting. I got you a job. You get your ass down there tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. You're getting out of this house, you're getting a job. And I'm like, okay, I have a college degree. I'm being picky for a year, watching Mori Povitch reruns every day on TV and Jerry Springer. I go down there at 6am, I walk in, I said, hey, my name's Eddie Mylet, I'm here for the

job, they're like, what job? I remember this vividly, right? And I'm like, I don't know, they just told me you'd know. And they go, well, we have no idea who you are and we don't know what the job is. They said, do you know who's hiring you? I said, I don't remember. And they go, well, then you need to come back. And I go to the door and I go, well we have no idea who you are and we don't know what the job is. They said, do you know who's hiring you? I said, I don't remember. And they go, well then you need to come back. And I go to the door and I go, wait a minute, his name's Tim.

They're like, there's a lot of Tim's. And I go, well, I know he must be an alcoholic because he was at a meeting with my dad and I said, oh, drunk Tim. We know Tim, right? And where I was was a place called McKinley Home for Boys. It was a group home, well, a campus of group homes. All my boys were awards of the court. They were moved from their family either because their parents were incarcerated,

killed or were molesting them. And I ended up in Codd-Jate. Codd-Jate, I had 12 boys. They were seven to 10 years old. Now I walked through that door that morning, not even knowing what the job was, and it transformed my life. I mean, in an instant, brother. I just saw these eyes, these little boys,

and they just wanted someone to love them and believe in them and care about them. And I'd have this big belief that people that go through any dysfunction in their family or abuse as a kid, I think our eyes are different. We just have these different eyes, man. And so I could connect with these guys. Mine wasn't as severe as theirs,

but I knew what it was like to have that kind of anxiety and that kind of stress and that kind of pressure put on you as a little boy. And I became like their father. I was there with them on Christmas and Halloween and the birthdays and I lived with them. And it changed my world because in that instant, I went from being this athlete who was ego,

recognition, significance, gonna get rich, it's all about me, always when you're a good athlete, you knew this growing up, it was always accolades all the sudden in that incident became about serving people Making a difference. I'm like, oh, this is what makes me happy. Oh, I was actually born to serve and help people crazy No one that never happened playing baseball and while I work there two years into it the financial business that I'm in came along And I started in a part time and I was the rare young business man who approached the business world from a place of service and giving and not making money.

And ironically, the more I served people, the more I made a difference, the more I contributed, the more I was rewarded financially. I didn't do it for that reason, but that's what happened. So that's how I got into the business was actually, and again, my dad wasn't an alcoholic. He's not at that meeting. I don't get that job. And if he wasn't, if it wasn't alcoholic, I wouldn't have connected with those boys. So all of that in hindsight happened for me, right? And had I met the financial business before that, I'd have flown out of it. I'd have been about ego making money and when that didn't happen, I'd have left. And so it all happened in the right sequence.

Rule number four, overcome struggles. I kept my job at McKinley and part time I started in the financial services industry and started to build a team of people and started to get my licenses and that transition. And I struggled like every upstart entrepreneur does. It takes like three to five years until you really get a few clients, you know. And in any business, I don't care if it's financial services, tech, or dry cleaners, ultra-pronors, the first five years is just full of false starts.

You get a go and then you don't. You get a go and you take a step forward, you take three back, it's constant false starts. It's constantly thinking you have it going. It's constantly negotiating in your mind the price you're paying. Is it worth it? Should I quit?

Should I give in? I'm constantly, I spent the first five years daily contemplating quitting all the time. Because it's not fun. It wasn't fun. And there's just a part of you, I think, and anything you're doing when you're struggling,

is this really for me? Is this my destiny? Should I be doing this? And we misread failure from some sign. Is this a sign I shouldn't be doing it? Is this a sign I am not cut out for this? instead of looking for signs that you can win, right? And so I spent the first five years literally trying to find ways to quit, trying to find ways to get out, struggling and struggling and struggling and I went broke, I lost a car,

I had the water turned off in my place, I, you know, I had a, I bought out my first house, I ended up having it for closed-down eventually. So I'm not that house with the unicorns that you saw, right? Or my beach place, like that's all the after. People don't realize that there were just years and years of grinding and struggling and worrying in the beginning. And then I made some mental changes and some shifts that altered my life then again. Rule number five, find mentors. I knew I wanted to be successful.

I think like in most things, like they show up eventually, but maybe they don't look like the way you thought they'd look when they show up, right? So I was gonna be a baseball player. From the time I was a little boy, I was gonna be a major league baseball player. But I don't know how, yeah. Oh, four, five years old, talking about that,

no one players studying it, telling people I was gonna be one. Look at a certain way. Trying to be athletic and I'm a little dude naturally, trying to build my body up and build myself up. Well, I am. I mean, you've been, but I got little risks and I don't do Pilates, but like you do, but I do work out.

But anyway, and the Pilates looks good on you. You look younger than I do, brother. So, but anyway, I did, I did grow up wanting to be somebody and then I got a mentor when I was really young. Hall of Fame baseball player named Rod Caru, who most of you out there would probably know, grab me when I was a young man and started pouring the blood. I was probably nine. He grabbed me, started pouring belief into me.

He saw me to baseball camp, saw that I was a little guy, saw that I had some potential, I kind of swung like him and batted like him. And so I spent the better part of my youth being mentored in coach one on one by a Hall of Fame baseball player. And he has poor baseball tools into me. He poured belief. You're gonna be somebody someday. You're gonna do something great.

So I had someone in my ear I respected believing in me from when I was young. I think that helped me. Rule number six, Chase discomfort. I kind of grew up in that space that is dangerous because it's like a slowest fixation, right? I grew up what I'd call like middle class but probably the lower side of middle class

too. So I think there's, and I've told you this, I think there's an advantage sometimes you're going to bridge because you got connections and you see the right behaviors modeled maybe. When you're poor, a lot of my buddies that are successful now that were poor, they knew what they didn't want. They were fighting, they learned to struggle, they grew up sooner, right? They couldn't make excuses. They had to learn to be self-resilient. The middle is difficult because goods, the enemy are sooner, right? They couldn't make excuses. They had to learn to be self-resilient.

The middle is difficult because goods the enemy are great, right? And so it wasn't horrible, it wasn't like there wasn't food on the table, it wasn't like I didn't get a present on my birthday, right? So you kind of start to think that's what life is. No one in my family ever talked about dreaming or winning or being wealthy. Same time, it wasn't really running from something either. So there was no stimulus. The stimulus when you're poor is to either. So there was no stimulus.

The stimulus when you're poor is to get out of there. The stimulus when you're rich is to replicate it. There was no stimulus from where I'm from. And so probably the rarest background when you meet somebody that's successful is the middle. It's actually the rarest that you meet somebody. They're from the middle. And so a lot of your listeners come from that place

because most people are in the middle, right? And so I'm sort of, I think, an example of some of the things. Maybe you would need to do to get out of that space to move from good to some form of greatness in your life. Yeah, it's comfort, right? That word comfort can be a killer, right? And so that's exactly why I wanted you to point that out is because so many of us do come from that.

And also we're maybe existing in it right now. So it's true. And how important is it to stretch ourselves, it's to really kind of get comfortable with discomfort? You do, you need to do that. Malcolm X is a guy that I've read a lot about. And Malcolm X, my favorite quote of Malcolm X is, that which you do not hate, you will eventually tolerate.

And so there has to be this point in your life where what you want is so much greater than where you are, you're in such discomfort. In other words, the gap between what you're dreaming of, what you're destined to do, what you're capable of, you're aware of it compared to where you are, that tension between the two has a pull power to it, right? And so it's important all the time that wherever you are in life that you're chasing that next version of you, there's this thing I'm just unbelievably passionate about.

That is that I have this theory that I've told you this before, but that I think that the end of your life, there's this place you come to. And I'm a Christian, so I think at the end of my life, I want the Lord to go, hey, well done, good and faithful servant. It doesn't matter what your faith is. You probably are aware there's history being made or an accounting. But I also think he's going to go, hey, by the way, this is who you could have been. I think he introduces you to the person you were capable of becoming.

I really believe that. That the end of your life, you're going to get introduced to the person you could have been. You were destined to be that he made you to be. And so I'm chasing that dude. Every day I'm chasing that dude, that's the pull power for me. Every decision I make, the things I go through in my life, whether I'm going to go to the gym, whether I'm going to make a phone call,

how I'm going to eat, does it get me closer to that guy? Because I think the best end of a life is well done by the Lord and your identical twins with that person. The bad end of a life would be, I meet this man I could have been and were total strangers. I mean, we're just complete opposites. I know nothing about this guy. There's no familiarity at all.

And it means that I went down these easy roads. I took the comfortable road. The comfortable road will never lead you to the person you were destined to be ever in your life. And so if you don't become obsessed with chasing that person, you end up never meeting him. Rule number seven, master the art of persuasion. Persuasion at anything.

So if you want to persuade your children, if you want to persuade someone to take a look at your children, if you want to persuade someone to take a look at your faith, if you want to persuade someone in business, if you want to persuade someone to help you in anything or help them in anything, it's real simple for me, monster belief. And so you can't transfer to me that which you're not experiencing yourself, right? So you can't give me a, people are always trying to come up with a magic word, the magic clothes, the magic this. And there are words you shouldn't, me that people are always trying to come up with a magic word, the magic clothes, the magic this. And there are words you shouldn't, shouldn't use in persuasion.

No question about it, right? There are think there are words that are more effective than other words. And clearly to be successful in any business, you need to know what those words are in your business. But the best persuaders, the best motivators, the best speakers, the best physicians, the best school teachers, the best parents are incredible persuaders. And what they do is they come from a monster place of conviction and belief that they can transfer you to, because people respond to energy,

much more than they do words. They respond to what they feel, not what they hear and see, hear and see are real low level influencers. Energy, spirit, transfer of energy, is what people respond to. And so I'm cognizant all the time of getting in a state of total belief and certainty about what it is that I'm going to represent or speaking on stage about a particular topic

and then transferring that energy into people. And that seems generic or hokey, but it's actually what great persuaders do. In fact, if you're listening to this, you think of anybody that you know who's incredibly persuasive. They may have great words, they probably do, but fact, if you're listening to this, you think of anybody that you know who's incredibly persuasive. They may have great words, they probably do, but it's something you feel from them, right? And that's the difference between a great doctor and a so-so, Dr. Great Doc says,

here's the prescription you're out of here. Another one, they can't work or not. I don't know. The other one, you leave their feeling that you're going to be healed, feeling you're in good hands, you feel their certainty, you feel their confidence. Say, when you hear a speaker,

if you're buying real estate from somebody, but it's not just buying things, it's a great pastor in a church. A great person, if you do TM, who's taught you TM, it's their certainty, it's the energy you feel. And so for me, it's always getting to, I have to really believe what I'm saying. I have to really feel it to transfer to.

Rule number eight, get up fast. You and I have watched with every successful person that we know. Everyone gets hammered, man. Everyone gets knocked down. You miss a close. Someone changes their mind. You get rejected in an interview. You lose your baseball career, whatever the hell it is. It's not whether you're getting knocked down. It's not even whether you get up. Everybody eventually gets up. Everybody gets up.

Yeah. It's the time you're on your ass. It's the time you stay on the mat. So what happened was my dream got squashed instead of laying around for six or eight months. I was up immediately like that day off the mat. Now my eyes are open. Your eyes are closed when you're on the mat. So the longer you stay on the mat, just because you've been defeated,

you've now become blinded as you said and it's a preventer from getting any other opportunity or blessings in your life. So the key is getting your butt up, like literally getting up and opening your eyes again and chasing again. You're gonna get up. See, my as well do it now. Rule number nine, rely on your habits. Here's the thing that I get asked all the time. How did you stay motivated all the time? People ask me that all the time and the answer is I didn't and neither did you to

become successful. The separator in life is really important. People think the most inspired motivated person wins. Not really. It's the person who can work on the days that are not inspired and motivated. It's what do you do when you're not feeling great? What do you do when it's not your best day? How do you do that? Carries you through as rituals and habits. So when you're fatigued, when you're tired, when you're under pressure, you react reflexively.

And so successful people rely on habits and rituals, not just their inspiration and motivation level. Of course, we're both professionals at being motivated and inspired. But that's not every day, every minute. And so what do I do? I work on the days because my habits and rituals carry me through.

And so for me, here's how I look at my life and my day. If I can control the first 30 minutes of my day and the last 30 minutes of my day, I have a whole lot better chance of the middle of my day being controlled. And so I'm a freak about the first 30 minutes of every day. It's really about the first 45 minutes and I'm obsessive about the last 45 minutes of every single day. That gives me some illusion in my mind and measure of control. The other thing it does, it delivers to me habits and rituals that serve me.

That I do every day that are consistent. It gives me comfort in stormy times. That ocean out there is raging at the top right now, right? The waves are crashing. At the bottom of that ocean, it's completely calm. At the bottom of that ocean is the habitual part of the water. It's the part of the water that stays the most consistent. That's why it's so calm, okay? So when you see someone out of control, their emotions are up and down all the time. This is someone who is without

rituals and habits. Successful people have those. And so they do. And so it keeps me calm, it keeps me comfortable. And rule number 10, the last one before a very special bonus rule is be a champion. This morning was very unusual. Number one was the water was unusually cold this morning, a bonus rule is be a champion. water this morning. It was freezing and when I had to get in there to make a decision, how do I get in? Do I kind of take my time where I go my feet in first, kind of get adapt and then come out, get adapt, go back in up to my waist, get a little warmer, then come back in up to my neck, you get the deal. But all that would do is extend the pain. All that does is logical, it makes sense. Don't go until you're ready, take your time. But really all that does, What does that really do?

That extends the pain And so I didn't do that. I did what the pros do, right? Which is what people do in every endeavor that are champions as I ran food right in headlong right into the water Right you dive in. Boop. There's a shock But then you get adapted so much more quickly than you could possibly imagine and then you're off to riding the waves Well, the same is true in business. The champions and everything. I don't care if it's your fitness, if it's your family, your faith, you name it. The way that you get great at something because you dive into it and get adapted quickly and you'll be surprised that your ability to adapt and

navigate your way through success. The average people in everything, frankly the people who lose are the ones who constantly take their time. They're too logical. They think, well I can't do this until I'm ready. If I'm not ready, I'll mess it up. And I don't want to get it's too cold. It's too freezing. For the truth is in business, that's not how it works. If you go slow, you're extending the time you're in pain and worse yet, well the champions have already dove in, got acclimated time you're in pain and worse yet, well the champions have already dove in got acclimated. They're out there riding their waves making progress. You're still on the shore deciding whether you're going to get ready to get ready. And so if you're an entrepreneur, if you're a business owner, you're somebody getting associated with my firm, which is a wonderful decision, by the way.

But if you're going to decide that, you've got to decide that and go and trust the fact that you have your instincts, your background, your training, your mentors, the system around you. And that's true whether you're an entrepreneur in my business or you're one of these firms that I've spoken to on the outside. I want to encourage all of you if you're going to get in, get into business and go, you'll be amazed at your capacity to evolve and to adapt and to succeed. Financial, my formula is this and you're never going to hear this because there's all this stuff on social meeting about borrow, borrow, borrow, borrow. First off, the Bible says, oh, no man, nothing.

So I didn't get rich by creating debt. I can just tell you that I don't care about what type of debt you have. But the one thing financially is you do not want to borrow money if you can minimize it against a depreciating asset. If you borrow money for something that's going to appreciate like a home or an investment property, I'm pretty cool with that, although I still think you should be careful with debt, but I see far too many people borrowing money against something that depreciates, like cars that they don't need to have, just to impress other people, right? Or clothes they don't need to be wearing.

And so don't, on credit cards, don't borrow money against stuff that goes down in value as much as you can. The second thing is, live below your means. Any person listening that can get financially independent, you have to pay yourself first. So believe it or not, as crazy as it sounds. When I was broke, I still found a way to pay myself, save $25, save $50. Because if you can't save money when you're making a little bit of money, you are not going to save money when you make more money. You think you will, but you won't. You'll continue to spend it.

And so there was literally a year, when I started to make money, you want to get really wealthy? I made several multiple six figures one year and we lived in a $700 a month apartment. I just saved and saved and saved and saved. Because my confidence in business came from my ability to acquire and save money over time, which took me a while. But to me, peace of mind is saving and cash.

Cash is king. Not enough people are obsessed with saving cash. And so live below your means. Don't borrow money against stuff that depreciates and save money. And here's a biggie. Start reading about money. Start to familiarize yourself. Pick up some books on finance. Start to know what you're talking about. Save your money. Here's

the last thing. Only put your money in something. If it's $50 or $50,000 that you completely understand. If you don't understand it, set it in the bank until you understand. Because too many people are investing in stocks, mutual funds, crypto this or that. I'm not saying don't invest in those places. Those are good places potentially to invest. But if you don't understand them, your money should not be in there. You're not a professional gambler. You're a saver and an investor. That's probably my biggest ones on saving money.