THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Ed Mylett - Unlocking Your Success Code
Episode Date: February 1, 2017In this audio I discuss the keys to building a recipe of success in all different areas of one's life. Art and science of peek performance. The process of thinking correctly and developing perfect hab...its. How the reticular activating system(RAS) works in the brain and much more
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Morning, this podcast is intense.
It's for bold visionary dreamers with a passion and guts to become a champion.
Welcome to Unlocking Your Success Code, everybody.
This is Ed Mylett, and it's my honor to get a chance to spend this time with you today
and share some thoughts and some insights with you and you actually unlocking the code
to your success.
I'm excited to share these ideas with you.
It's been a long time since I've got a chance
to share with folks exactly what my philosophies are
that I've learned over the years
and have helped me think correctly in business
and then act correctly as a result.
And so the good news for you is that
you already know what your success code is.
You've unlocked it many times in your life
and many different circumstances. Maybe you've forgotten it, maybe you've forgotten parts of
it, and today will be a refresher course to remind you exactly how you've
performed at your peak in the past. And as we begin today, I want you to think
about that. What are some of the great successes of your life, some of the times in
your life where you just performed at your peak, you nailed it, was a talk, it was a
test, it was an athletic endeavor, or something that you did, a conversation that you had, where you just nailed it, it was just your peak,
it was the best, you couldn't believe it was so good.
And that's when that code has all come together, it's also like a recipe, it's throwing in the
right ingredients that put together the perfect meal or the perfect performance.
And that's what we're going to discuss today.
And I'm going to do it in more of a free flow type setup.
I'm not going to give you one of these things where the top 10 things you got to do to be this or the top eight or
the 21 laws of I just don't believe in that. I don't think there are just a fixed number
of eight or 10 or 21 and those seem to be kind of all marketing strategies. I just want
to have a free flowing conversation you and I as friends me sharing with you a little
bit of the things that I've used to help myself become successful to the extent that I have
and things I've learned from my associations and my friends.
And really today is about you, it's not about me, but I think you should have some context
as to why maybe I have some qualifications to share this with you.
I was a millionaire before I was 30 years old.
I had risen in my company, which is one of the top financial services distribution companies
in the world.
By the time I was 30, I was in the top three of all time in that company, went on to make multiple
seven figures of income and then multiple,
multiple seven figures of income, and had a chance
in that company because of some of the success,
my teammates and I had to be asked to take on a larger role
in the company where I helped move the entire company
strategically with the tactics and some
of the inspirational strategies as well,
and just day-to-day moving of the company
and became the agency chairman of that firm.
And then through that success, I've had a chance today moving of the company and became the agency chairman of that firm and then
Through that success. I've had a chance to build some of the great friendships of my life outside of business with some of the great Athletes that you know by name in the United States and top CEOs of companies
Entertainers etc become part of my mastermind part of my friendships that I've learned from them and even from time to time
Believe it or not many of them asked me for counsel
I've counseled with some of the top CEOs in the United States, top NFL quarterbacks, baseball
players, hockey players, actors, entertainers that you would know have asked me to share
with them some of these concepts.
Or if they're going through something, work them through it and they've done the same
for me.
So I've had a chance to have this play itself out in my life, both in the business that
I'm in and outside of it.
And I know that these strategies and these tactics work.
And I think some of them will refresh you for you.
But I think in many ways, some of these will be new to you and said maybe a little bit
of a different way.
And really what we're talking about today is we unlocked your code to success.
For you, how is it that you think?
Have you ever thought about how you think?
Isn't that interesting?
Do you ever think about how you think? Isn't that interesting? Do you ever think about how you think?
And what is the process of thinking?
I'll submit to you that thinking is the process
of asking and answering questions to yourself.
That's how it works.
And so if we're gonna change the way we think,
we've gotta change the quality of the questions
that we ask ourselves.
And so what I'll do today is,
I'll share these ideas with you.
I'd like as I talk with you for you to be reflecting on how you think and how you act
and what's worked for you in the past and what changes you might need to make.
Maybe you'll listen to this 15 minutes at a time and take notes and come back the next
day and listen for 15 more minutes.
Maybe some of you take it almost like drinking out of a fire hydrant.
You're going to listen to the entire recording all at one time.
Maybe you'll listen to it many times.
But I would challenge you to be reflecting on you
as we talk about that, because I said earlier,
this isn't about me, it's about you.
So let's start.
Let's move forward.
Let's get you to the next level.
Let's make a shift.
As we begin, let's think about this for a second.
In five years from now, you will certainly arrive somewhere.
It's not a question of whether you're gonna be
somewhere five years from now.
The only question is where will you be? Where do you want to be five years from now? And
if you can answer that question with great clarity, with great specificity, you have already
beaten 99% of the people you'll be competing with to get there. Because most people in their
lives are what I consider to be wandering generalities. They're not clear on where they're
going, whichever way the wind blows, they react all of their lives
rather than anticipate the difference
between winning and losing in life.
Most times is being able to anticipate what's coming
because you're clear about where you're going
as opposed to reacting.
Few days ago, I was playing a video game with my son.
He's just a video game expert.
Many of you probably relate to this
and I never played a lot of video games growing up.
And so he hands me this game console thing
to play with the joystick, if you will, and I was a kid.
And he beats me in this football game, 48 to nothing
in the first quarter.
I don't know if you ever played a video game
with a 12 or a 13 year old, but you've got no chance
if you're over 20 years old.
That's just the bottom line.
And he just continued to beat me as if I wasn't even there.
And if you've done any video games, any kid,
you know what I'm talking about.
And it occurred to me as we were playing this game
that i was reacting to everything that was happening and he was anticipating what was happening and that's the difference in the game of life as well the champions the winners anticipate what's next because they've got a clear game plan clear thinking confidence clarity of thought
those that lose constantly react to a disagreement a a setback at work, a conversation,
an emergency that comes up.
They're constantly in reactionary mode
and they find themselves in five years
just sort of floating down the river of life
and they end up wherever they end up.
Winners take control of their lives
through their relationship with God, if they have that
and their relationship with themselves
and their direction and their clarity.
And so as we begin today,
where do you want to arrive in five years?
Are you looking right now for a transition to the next level of your life?
Or are you looking for an all-out transformation?
You say, add, I don't dislike where I am, I hate where I am.
I've got to move to the next level.
I've got to transform my life to a completely different place.
Or maybe you're listening to me saying, you know, things are going pretty good.
I'm looking for a few keys to take it up a notch,
to go to one more level, to go to the next place,
the next station, as I climb my climb,
whichever one it is, a transition or a transformation,
we can get you there.
So let's take a look at the quality of your life
as we begin, and again, I'm gonna just free flow
through things at you.
You know, really thinking is almost like software
in your brain.
For many of us from time to time, if you ever use an older computer how it's slower or it doesn't really react
the way the new ones do, it's amazing what technology can do today. Sometimes we just
need to update the software in our brain, update the thinking. It's not that we think wrong.
It just needs updating for today's standards, for today's world, for the modern world we
live in. You know, you can't get in today's world and be a peak performer with an old software system
running the computer in your brain.
You gotta have an up-to-date modern computer system,
modern software system, which is your brain.
So let's begin with what all champions do.
What we really want, you correct me if I'm wrong,
but I think you just want the quality
of your life to be better.
You wanna be happier.
At the end of the day, you can take all personal development. You can take all of it and distill it one thing. You want to be happier. At the end of the day, you can take all
personal development. You can take all of it and distill it to one thing. I want to be happier.
If having more money makes you happier, wonderful. I have a material thing to make you happier.
A better relationship. Your body is better. You just feel better about what you're contributing.
You're getting recognized more. Whatever those things are, they're to make you happier.
And so, if you look at your life, I'll submit to you that the quality of your life
day-to-day is the quality of the emotions that you experience.
I mean, if you're on a daily basis,
you're experiencing happiness, joy, fulfillment,
contribution, peace, ecstasy, passion.
If you're just delivering all of those emotions
to yourself on a daily basis,
if you're experiencing those things,
would you agree with me hour by hour?
One hour you're happy, the next hour is ecstasy, the next hour is contribution, the next
hour is peace.
You'd have a wonderful life.
On the other hand, if most of the days you're experiencing depression, frustration, stress,
worry, lack of confidence, shame, rejection, if you're getting that most of the time,
those are the experiences that you have,
the emotions you have on a daily basis.
The quality of your life is not as good.
So if you think about it, our lives come down
to the quality of what our emotions are.
Day to day, what we need to do is
improve the quality of what we experience emotionally.
The three things that deliver on those emotions
are the quality of the relationships we have,
the quality of our beliefs, and the quality of the questions we ask ourselves.
I.E.
Are thinking.
Let me say that to you again.
The quality of our life is made up by the emotions we experience.
There's no question about that.
And what makes up those emotions is the quality of the relationships we have, the relationships
we have with other people, the relationship we have with ourselves, the relationship you
have with your higher power, your Lord, your God, if you have one, those
relationships, the quality of those relationships, if they're great, make us very happy, if
they're not so good, it's difficult to have all of those positive emotions.
Second thing is the beliefs that we have.
What do we believe about ourselves?
What do we believe about events when they happen and what they mean to us, which we'll
discuss a little bit later?
What do we believe about life in general, our purpose for being here? What do we believe about the when they happen and what they mean to us, which we'll discuss a little bit later? What do we believe about life in general, our purpose for being here?
What do we believe about the reason we were put here?
What do we believe about what something happened in our Dean means to us?
And then lastly, is the ongoing dialogue in our head, the thinking that we have, the quality
of the questions.
If all day long you're asking yourself, what are these people thinking about me or, or
I can't do this, or I wonder if they're going to think I'm silly for performing this task, or I hope I'm not going to get rejected,
or if you're worried about all the time, those are the questions you're asking yourself.
The quality of your emotions are going to be very good.
But if we can program the right questions that you ask yourself, you can begin to think
like the CEOs that I know, think like the top NFL quarterbacks that I know, think like the
best entertainers and athletes in the world, some of the great philanthropists in the world.
If you can begin to think like them, maybe even think a little bit like me to some degree,
maybe to some degree, the quality of your emotions will improve.
And so what I'm telling you is changing your life on the outside is about changing the
inner game on the inside, changing how we think, changing our relationships, changing our
beliefs.
The outside world that we experience is driven by everything that happens inside our brain,
inside our soul, inside our mind.
And so what we're going to talk about is how do we do that?
I think you're going to get great value out of this today.
People say to me, well at the end of the day, you've seen a lot of people win and lose.
In my business, for example, I've seen all different kinds of people win.
I've seen smart people win.
I've seen people I wouldn't consider to be very smart win.
I've seen tall people, short people, fat people, skinny people.
I've seen multiple ethnicities, religions, win in business.
I've seen people with incredible skills win.
I've seen people with incredible skills lose.
I've seen people with mediocre skills win in business.
People say, well, what does it come down to?
Then, if I can just give you a one word,
and it'll surprise you, but I think that one word is confidence.
I'm telling you, the people that win are confident,
they expect to win, they deserve to win in their minds,
and the people that struggle regardless of their background,
regardless of their skills, lack confidence.
Confidence.
I remember when I played baseball as an average athlete,
I played high school, no one wanted to play in college, and I remember seeing guys played baseball as an average athlete. I played high school
no one on to playing college and I remember seeing guys go on to play to the next level with that we're not the best players
That I had played with growing up or on my teams, but they were the guys who thought they were the best
They were the guys who expected to get a hit in the right time
They were the guys with the most confidence if you've ever been around any professional athlete
They may come across humble. They may awesthucks you, they may seem very nice, but I'm telling you inside they have tremendous
confidence.
That's how you can perform in the crunch time.
That's how you earn the starting job.
That's how you get a scholarship to play college football is to have great confidence.
So what I want to try to help you do is be happier.
And I think one of the ways we can deliver that to you, in my opinion, it's probably never
been said in all these personal development tapes this clearly, is
to have more confidence. So let's go into thinking for a second as we shift. And again,
15 minutes at a time, you could stop this right now, just reflect on what we've covered.
Or we can continue down the road. There's a lot more coming. So these thoughts that I say
are physical is really, really interesting because there's a book called As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
I just want to read to you one excerpt here. He says every man is where he is by the law of his being the thoughts
Which he has built into his character have brought him there and the arrangement of his life?
There is no element of chance
But all as a result of a law which cannot error
This is just as through of those who feel out of harmony
when their surroundings as if those who are connected with them.
Man is buffeted by circumstances so long as he believes himself
to be the creature of outside conditions,
but when he realizes that he may command the hidden soil and seeds of his being
out of which circumstances grow,
he then becomes the rightful master of himself.
So he's talking about as you think becomes your life and he's right.
And so we're not talking here about just positive thinking.
If you just think positive, you just think great things.
I've never bought into that.
I've never believed that.
I think it's great to think positively, but there's a lot more.
What we're talking about here is tactical strategies that help you manifest the right things
in your life through.
If you have a relationship with God, the two of you partnering together, we're talking
tactical strategies.
And then, of course, at the end of the day, effort, work, putting in the hours required
to win.
Nobody wins by working less.
I categorically disagree with the concept that works smarter and not harder.
Do both.
Because those of you that just work smarter and not harder will be defeated every time by
those who work smart and hard.
One of my very good friends is a couple of them are pretty well known guys in the football
world that I've talked about earlier.
And one of the things I know about them is they're incredibly smart guys when it comes
to their position, but they also invest the most hours.
And that's why they beat the guys who are just also talented or just put in the hours.
The combination of hard work and ability is what wins.
So it's both.
Now all change is either how we feel or our actions.
We can only change two things, how we act and how we feel.
So first thing you got to do is you got to believe it's possible.
As you listen to me right now, you've got to believe it's possible for this transformation
for you.
You are always going to be limited by what you think is possible.
In fact, you're getting out of life right now exactly what you think you deserve.
That's hard to accept sometimes to believe.
You mean this horrible thing, these emotions I'm experiencing right now,
this is what I think I deserve.
I'm telling you, I believe that to be true.
Maybe not the exact specific situation that you're going through,
but the overall scope of our lives, the overall way we feel about it, the emotions we experience are what
we think we deserve and there's patterns to it. And so if you're going to go win in business,
you got to be confident. If you're going to win in business, you got to be happy. If you're
going to win in business, you have to have great relationships, great beliefs, great thoughts.
And then you have to take great action. You got to have confidence. So when we talk about these
things, realize all of this filters through into business and winning. Okay. All changes, either how we feel, it's our confidence or
our actions. You got to believe it's possible. If you just want to go to the next level, you got to
believe it's possible. And again, what have you done in the past to win when you got your degree
in college or you scored a touchdown in football somewhere or you ended up getting the date that
you wanted to go out on or passing an exam or whatever it was or you ended up getting the date that you wanted to go out on,
or passing an exam,
or whatever it was in your life,
getting the job that you wanted at one time.
What was the formula?
What was the recipe?
And we'll go back through these things.
One of the things we have to believe when it's possible
is we also have to drop something
what I call learned helplessness.
Learned helplessness is believing
that other people control our lives,
that we're helpless, that somehow how other people control our lives, that we're helpless,
that somehow how other people treat us or talk to us, or whether they do or don't give
us opportunities is what's going to determine where we go.
Other people don't control your life.
That's called learned helplessness.
That is a negative, incorrect, flawed, faulted belief.
I want you to hear me.
Other people do not control you in your life.
They can't control how you feel. They can't control how you feel.
They can't control how you think.
And they will not control your beliefs or your emotions.
You got to drop this learner tell us,
well, so and so didn't help me.
Or I didn't catch a break there.
Or they did this to me.
People don't do things to you.
Okay?
I want you to think about something.
What if everything that happened in your life?
I mean, every single thing wasn't happening to you, but it was happening for you. What if you believe that
everything that happens to me is happening for me, not to me, or through me? Things
don't happen to you. I promise you that. Things happen for you. Through the seed of
every adversity, there is something planted for you
to do something great with it and positive.
And I know that sounds hokey,
but if you're gonna go through life believing
that things happen to you,
you will constantly be a person who reacts.
But if you can begin to go through life
with just this one belief that things happen for me,
we are in traffic the other day.
I'm one of the most impatient people on planet earth.
My wife is one of the most patient people on earth.
I don't know if any of you can experience this,
but if you have a person who's sort of an aggressive driver,
which I am from time to time,
my wife just goes through terror
having to drive in the car with me.
And so we got behind somebody, it was going very slow
and I was frustrated, I wanted to go around them.
Maybe some of you can relate to that.
And for just that split second, they were doing this to me.
Mr. Personal development here, Mr. Thinkrite,
none of us do it all the time.
None of us are perfect.
I fall down every day in my thinking.
I make mistakes every day.
These things we're talking about today
are one of the great lessons for me.
As I'm giving them to you, they reteach me.
They remind me of things I mess up every single day.
None of us are perfect.
And when you listen to these things,
I hope you don't think, oh, these other people
have it all figured out.
Man, they think so perfectly.
They act so perfectly.
Human beings are flawed.
Human beings make mistakes.
It's about life is about getting off course
and getting back on.
That's staying on at 100% of the time.
What a boring life we would have if we never got off course.
If everything was certain, if everything was predictable.
So I'm off course all the time off course
more than most people probably.
The problem is because I know all this stuff,
I know what I'm off course
and it's even more frustrating.
But having said that, we're behind this lady
and it was just driving me crazy
and I couldn't get around her
and my wife, Kristian says,
and she goes, you know,
did you ever think just for a second
that maybe God put her in front of you to slow down
because up in front of us there's an accident
waiting to happen and maybe we're slowing down to miss it front of us, there's an accident waiting to happen.
And maybe we're slowing down to miss it.
I said, you're crazy.
Get out of here.
This positive mumbo jumbo.
But I gotta tell you, about 10 minutes later,
I finally got around this lady
and we ended up behind a car that was swirving
so bad on the road.
It was late at night.
They were swirving on this windy highway we were on.
And I'm telling you, I'm not sure of this,
but the person looked to me like they probably were drinking and driving. And that
person could have caused an accident. You know, thank God they didn't. But it was
just amazing that she had just said that to me. And then 10 minutes later, we catch
up to somebody that maybe could have done harm to my family. And in that car,
had my wife and my two children. My entire life was in that car. And if
anything that mattered to me was in that car. And so I think we all need to know
things happen for us, not to us, even
though it doesn't always look like it at the time. Eventually, that's usually revealed
to us. So let's get into out of this learned helplessness stuff. I talked really about life
being certain. I want to throw something at you a concept. I want you to consider. What
if I told you, I think the quality of your life is directly proportional to the amount of
uncertainty you can handle at one time. Everybody wants things in life. You think about it. We always want things
predictable, uncertain, and in a box, and perfect. I'm telling you that's boring.
I think the quality of your life is how much uncertainty you can deal with it
once. I'm serious. You think about some of the most fun experiences of your
life. There was a ton of uncertainty involved. Whether it was the first date with
somebody, or your wedding day, or a graduation day, or some achievement you had
going into a game,
or an exam, all this uncertainty was there,
and then you pulled it off.
Or something fun you've done,
like going on a roller coaster,
or down a waterfall, or the first time you went fishing,
or the first time you did something of any type
that you fell in love with.
There was uncertainty everywhere.
And that's how you got to start to look at business.
You're going to go prospect somebody,
you can't hope for certainty.
What makes us alive, what makes us happy is the uncertainty.
We don't know what's going to happen.
You have a meeting at your office, a big group meeting.
You don't know what's going to happen.
That makes us alive.
Your quality of your life is how much uncertainty
you can handle anytime.
The happiest people I know are constantly seeking situations
that are uncertain and uncomfortable,
whether it be for fun or for business.
In fact, successful people are addicted to uncertainty.
You ever meet some of these athletes
who played in these big games, all their career,
and they have 15 year careers,
and every game's uncertain,
every place uncertain, you never know.
And then it's over.
And then they get into a humdrum, routine lifestyle,
every day's the same, and they're miserable.
They don't just miss the competition.
Competition is uncertain,
but they miss the uncertainty of it.
They miss not knowing, they miss experiencing things. Things that are certain, you don't just miss the competition. Competition is uncertain, but they miss the uncertainty of it. They miss not knowing.
They miss experiencing things.
Things that are certain, you don't really experience.
You experience uncertain things.
So constantly I challenge you.
Put yourself in situations where it's uncertain.
You'll be the most alive you've ever been.
And long term, even when you get wealthy, put yourself in situations where it's uncertain
and you'll be happier and happier and happier.
Call it your life.
Uncertainty is one of the biggest things I think direct proportion to how happy we become.
Get uncomfortable.
Now, one of the things most people avoid to win, let's just get right to it, is rejection.
What most people believe is rejection is a negative.
Regretion is some process of people being negative towards you.
And I'm telling you that I think you need to begin to look at rejection is something that is uncertain,
that is fun. See, if you get addicted to what other people think about you, this is connected very
closely to learned helplessness, as if other people dictate how happy you're going to be. See,
I'm telling you that rejection is progress, and in life, progress is happiness.
As long as from an event you've learned something,
I remember early in my career going to prospect somebody
to get them interested in my business
and me just messing it up so bad and embarrassing myself.
And then afterwards, you know, getting in the car
or reflecting on it myself and thinking, okay,
that was embarrassing, that hurt a little bit,
but then really beginning to go, okay,
what did I learn from it?
What mistake did I make there? Where did I lose control of that conversation? How could I handle that better?
The next time someone asks me that objection, how am I going to answer it better? And as I look back at it now 23 years later,
it was those experiences that improved me. Had it just gone well, well, that would have just been another person to
miss, but I wouldn't have gotten any better. In baseball, when I played, if you hit 300, you were one of the greatest hitters of all time.
Well, that's failing seven out of 10 times.
The key is when you do fail, the seven times
is going back into the dugout and go,
okay, what did he throw me there?
Was that a curve ball on the outside half?
What was the pattern?
Did I get out in front of my front leg?
How do I make an adjustment the next time I get up?
And that's progress.
So being rejected is an opportunity to improve.
It's an uncertainty and it's an opportunity to improve.
Why you react the way you do is that your life
is too dependent on what other people think about you.
In fact, most people's lives are dominated
by the thoughts of other people.
They're constantly thinking about what other people
are thinking about them.
Let me give you a key that someone said to me earlier
in my career. Other people aren't thinking about you. They're thinking about what you're thinking about what other people are thinking about them. Let me give you a key that someone said to me earlier in my career.
Other people aren't thinking about you.
They're thinking about what you're thinking about them.
But if your life is dominated by the thought of what are they thinking about me or trying
to get other people's approval, you'll be unhappy.
And that's how most people live their lives is to get other people's approval rather than
their own, rather than gods, rather than having a clear plan of what makes them happy or
what their standards are, they seek approval from other people.
And so then the fear of rejection is exaggerated so much because their whole life is dictated
what other people think about them.
I see this happen in business where people avoid rejection.
If you're going to win in business, you've got to accept the fact that there is rejection
and rejection is progress, progress is happiness, and you can learn from it.
But if rejection is, if your whole life is dominated
by what other people think about you,
what that really means is you're not taking control
of your emotions, you're not taking control
of what you think, you're allowing them
to dictate your life, and now you react all the time,
instead of anticipate.
And I'm telling you, that's the great failure of most people as they worry too much about
what other people think about them.
Other people aren't thinking about you.
I promise you, they're thinking about what you're thinking about them.
If your life is about impressing other people, you will never fill up that hole.
But if your life is about you and impressing you and satisfying you and sat in a few have
a relationship with God, satisfying God, that's what matters.
Not with the outside world.
This cast of characters, which is everybody else outside
of your family and God,
they eventually go away in your life.
They won't be at your funeral.
They won't be at the end of your life.
All these people you worry about every day
whether they think about,
if you prospect them in your business and they say no
and you giving them all this power
to emotionally affect you, where you won't prospect them because you're so worried about what they think.
Or you won't get up and speak because you're so worried about they think or you won't go on an appointment
because you're worried about they might reject you.
You've given away total control of your life to people who aren't going to be significant at the end of your life
or even in the middle of it.
It's giving power and control of your life to other people.
And that is a formula for losing.
And it's the number one thing people
who lack confidence do.
Confident people worry about what them and God think.
People with lack of confidence worry
about what everybody else thinks.
And I see it in rejection in business,
and I also see it in these other ways,
even people that win or so addicted to what people think.
I, everyone struggles with that to agree,
I want people to like me, I want validation, it's nice.
But it's not what my dominating thought is,
it's not what drives my behavior,
what drives my behavior is my goals,
what drives my behavior is my beliefs, my confidence,
my mission, my obsessions, or what drives my behavior,
and me trying to do the right things by me and my God,
not by what some stranger thinks, or someone at a meeting.
And so I want you to begin to challenge yourself to get out of that mode and get into you and God and get into the mode of being approval there,
being rejected and worrying about it is an addiction to other people's approval. Don't give yourself
that addiction. It's an emotional dependency. If your emotions are dependent on other people,
you will always, always end up being unhappy.
Let me set it to you again.
If you're emotionally dependent on other people's approval,
you will always be unhappy.
You will never fill it up.
And if you're emotionally dependent on getting approval
from people that prevent you from prospecting
or working hard in your business or going on calls,
you will lose because you're too worried
about what other people think about you.
So get out of there.
Don't do that anymore. Okay, here we go. Let's talk about your mind for a second here.
We can only receive what our mind can accept. Let me say it to you again. You can only receive what your mind will accept.
So right now you're really getting, as I said earlier, what you're willing to tolerate.
You can't get more out of the outside part of your life that your mind can conceive of.
And so that's why it's important. People say, well, be a dreamer, have visions.
It is important to do that
because your mind paints pictures.
Thoughts are physical things.
When you think you actually have caused action to take place.
Believe it or not, I mean, people sometimes
will say, I don't know about all this
mumbo-jumbo thinking stuff.
And then I look at them and they're some
of the great thinkers I know.
They just do it unconsciously.
Thoughts are like magnets.
They attract things to you.
They're physical.
When you actually think of something like,
I'm gonna have this or I wanna do that.
Believe it or not, the first thing that happens
is you actually create a new space
that didn't exist before you thought it.
And then what happens is your mind goes to work
on trying to fill up that space with proving it to be true.
And so thinking is awesome, thinking is powerful,
thinking is an action, thinking is physical,
and thinking is the process of asking and answering questions.
And so I wanna challenge you,
you will only get that what your mind can accept.
And you know what, you're only gonna get
what you allow to continue.
If you're one of these people listening to this today
and the conditions of your life are not what you want
or the conditions of your business
are not what you want them to be,
you need to stop allowing that to continue. You need to stop allowing that to continue.
You're the one allowing that to continue.
Nobody else is.
And so if your business is too small or you're not growing the way you want to do or you're
not making the income that you want, you're the one who's allowing that to continue.
You are.
And you've got to be the one to change right now and say, my mind is going to accept abundance,
my mind's going to accept more.
I'm going to get exactly clear on what that is, which I'm gonna teach you in a minute.
I'm only getting what I tolerate,
and I'm only getting what I'm allowing to continue,
and I'm not gonna allow this to continue anymore.
By the way, here's what's great.
Beliefs drive our life.
These thoughts, these beliefs we have,
drive our life, what's really crazy is,
whether your belief is totally insane,
or completely realistic,
it's what your life will end up being about.
I've watched people in my life dream and think incredibly
insane things at the time about what will happen in their lives,
and I'm telling you that eventually your life
becomes about those insane thoughts you have, good or bad.
And so you got to get into a mindset of this.
Are you gonna be somebody who's a scarcity thinker
or an abundance thinker?
Are you gonna think all the time about what's not there,
what you don't have, what resources
you're lacking, what things you don't have, what support you don't have, what people,
what systems you don't have, or you're going to be an abundance thinker and think about
having abundance in your life.
I believe you have a God who wants you have an abundant, rich life.
I also think that in my life that abundance ought to be to glorify him.
But having said that, I meet people all the time,
especially in religious circles
who are scarcity thinkers.
They think about what they don't have.
They think about small.
And I don't believe you are put here to do something small
in your life, you're put here to do something great
with your life.
We are successful in our life to the extent we can shed
our limiting beliefs.
I come from really the harder family
succeed and I actually I'm a believer that someone who comes from a very
successful family, they have some negatives about that but there's also resources,
connections, etc. I also think when you come from a very poor family, you've got
one of these situations where you know what you don't want. It's painful enough
that you won't tolerate anymore. Fat Mac and Max has this great saying where he
said, that which you do not hate,
you will eventually tolerate. And so one of the advantages of coming from poverty is you
hate it. You don't want to be in it. You won't tolerate it anymore. One of the harder places
to succeed from is actually the middle because it's not too painful. And yet you don't
have examples of greatness around you either or resources. I come from kind of a middle-class
family. And so I had to really work on shedding my limiting beliefs about being wealthy, about being
successful, but anybody really caring what I had to say, but anybody wanting to follow
me because I didn't have a situation that I hated I was moving away from.
It was decent, but I didn't have examples and role models of greatness in order to have
resources.
Many of you listening to this can relate to that.
You come from an okay place.
You know, the great enemy of doing something extraordinary
and great is doing something good,
or coming from a good place.
If you're listening to this and things are good,
you really need to listen
because you're gonna have to work double hard
to move out of good to get into great.
So we gotta shed our limiting beliefs.
You gotta ask yourself,
what are some of the things I believe
that are limiting me?
You know, about yourself, about your business that you're in,
what are the limiting beliefs you have? They're probably not true. And by the way,
even if they are true, it doesn't serve you to believe them. Remember, even having
a crazy insane belief manifests itself eventually. So you choose what those beliefs are. You
got this thing called a subconscious part of your mind. The subconscious mind is the
prover. Let me say that to you again, the subconscious mind is the prover. Let me say that to you again, the subconscious
mind is the prover in your life. It's never been worded this way probably to you before,
but it is going to try to prove your correct all the time. Subconscious is your best friend
if you use them right or her. She is constantly trying to prove you right. So if you believe
small things, scarce things, challenges, worries, fears, rejection, all that other stuff,
your subconscious is going to prove you right rejection, all that other stuff, your subconscious is going
to prove you right.
If you believe other beliefs, your subconscious will go to work on proving you right.
That thought you have, that belief that opens the space, subconscious is going to go try to
prove you right all the time.
And it is correct every time.
If you believe you're fat, subconscious mind will go to work on making sure you're fat.
You believe your rich, the subconscious will begin to work on taking advantage of every
situation around.
If you believe you're a taken advantage of person, the subconscious mind will prove you
right.
If you believe you're blessed, the subconscious mind will prove you right.
So you choose what are you?
Are you blessed?
Are you strong?
Are you powerful?
Are you a force for good?
Are you relentless?
Are you a giver?
Are you a contributor?
Or are you these negative things?
People take advantage of you.
You don't have what you need around you.
You're out of shape.
You're not all that powerful.
Nobody cares about you.
See, your subconscious is going to prove you right.
It doesn't change reality.
What the subconscious is, is a filter on your world.
It's a filter.
So what the subconscious does is once you believe something, it filters out all of the things
that would prove you wrong.
And it will go to work on filtering in to your life, the things you will see and experience
to prove you right.
That's how powerful it is.
It is a filter.
When you believe you're going to build a big business and you're going to get a big team
of people or you're going to build massive income, the subconscious begins to filter out
for you.
All of the things that would prove that not true, it's going to help you avoid seeing. Literally circumstances, places, and things that would prove that wrong. But if you believe,
well, people don't want to follow me. Your subconscious is going to go prove you right. It's going to
bring to you. You're going to see people constantly who don't follow you. And you'll miss all the
ones who would. The subconscious, if you believe for a minute that I'm going to be wealthy, I'm going
to attract great people into my life. Your subconscious goes to work on shedding all of the people out of the filter who wouldn't do well,
who wouldn't respond well, and starts to filter in the people who will.
That's how it works. You can have two people having dinner together at the same table.
They could be in the same business. I've watched this happen.
And they're sitting there at the same table in the same business.
One person believes I'm a great prospector, I'm a great recruiter.
The other person doesn't.
The other person believes finding good people's difficult or you got to get lucky.
That's what they believe.
Three tables down on the other side of the restaurant, there's a conversation happening
and that person is talking out loud about exactly what your product is, exactly what your service
is and how badly they need it.
If you're in a business where you recruit people,
let's say, for example, and they're talking about,
man, I gotta get out of this job, I've got it.
They're not paying me enough money,
I don't get recognized.
I wanna do something on my own.
They're both within ear distance,
shouting distance of the same conversation.
And I'm telling you, the person who believes
they're going to attract great people,
hears that conversation, and their mind filters out
all the outside ambient noise in the room, and they hear it, and the person who believes you get lucky or they don track great people, here's that conversation and their mind filters out all the outside ambient noise
in the room and they hear it.
And the person who believes you get lucky
or they don't attract people never hears
the same conversation.
I've watched it happen over and over again.
There's a part of your brain, I have it in other recording
that I do call the reticular activating system of your brain.
And what it does is it basically keeps you sane.
It sheds out everything in your life.
It gets rid of everything in your life that's unimportant,
so you can actually function.
That's why you could breathe.
That's why you don't feel a blood rushing
through your left ear.
You don't feel the hair on your head,
or you don't see all the stimulus around.
You go crazy with the particular activating system.
Does it only find for you that which is important to you?
It's a function of the subconscious mind.
And so if you're looking for something with passion,
I mean, you single guys, you're looking for a beautiful girl
Don't you notice every beautiful girl that's in a room?
But you've ever been with a guy who doesn't care about that the same people are walking around they don't even notice them
I notice that even with my son my son is not yet quite hit puberty
And it can be the cutest little girl three or four years older than him walking a room
He can't notice anything because they're not on his radar yet
I know in three years on that same girl walks in the room,
something tells me he'll notice her
because it'll be a part of his subconscious mind
that he's looking for it.
I think you know exactly what I'm talking about.
It's the same thing in algae.
I have another CD where if you ever bought something,
let's say you bought a brand new car.
You bought a brand new white Honda.
All of a sudden, isn't it amazing how you can be driving
on the freeway and there are white Honda's everywhere?
You see them everywhere.
Were they never there before?
Of course they were, but because you own one because it's important to you now you see
all of them.
They can be three lanes over, wrong side of the road, taking a right turn down an alley.
You see the white Honda, don't you?
But they were there all the time.
The reason you see them now is they're part of your subconscious and your reticular activating
system.
So that's how important focus is.'s how important beliefs are people say well
I don't know about all this personal development mumbo jumbo. Well, I do I
Do I know in baseball a guy who thinks he can hit a curveball and sees it over and over again
Mashes curveballs and I know a guy who thinks he can't hit one and avoid it never hits one
I know that when you buy something new and it's out there
You see it everywhere and it was there all the time and you never saw it before because that system focuses
it out for you. So this subconscious is a prover. You will experience that which you are deeply
convinced of in life. I've watched this with powerful people that I know. My mother-in-law
is one of the most incredible, strong women women of faith you ever meet in your life.
She prays every day multiple times a day,
or husband was a lay minister,
one of her sons is a pastor, just an incredible,
y'all probably knows somebody like Patricia Lewis,
my mother-in-law, she's just good.
She's going to heaven, you know what I mean?
And she is constantly looking for God's goodness in life.
She points it out to me all the time,
we'll be walking, she'll see some,
oh God is so good.
Or she'll see, she'll notice someone helping someone
I don't see at a grocery store.
A man opening a door, isn't he good man?
She notices good things everywhere.
Anything good that happens, she left the gym one day
and I ran into her in the parking lot
and she says, man, my legs felt great at the gym today.
She says, God's so good, he's keeping me healthy.
I wouldn't even be thinking like that, right?
But she notices constantly God's goodness in life.
And so her life's abundant.
She's got this positive belief.
She goes through the same day you and I go through
and she sees 3,000 good things.
They were all there for me and you,
but because it's not our root belief, we don't see them.
I've also seen people the other way.
They think, oh, this is a negative or people are stupid
or people are mean or you name it
and they find it every day.
And don't you know someone like that?
You say, gosh, how do you see this stuff every,
what is wrong with you?
The truth is, their subconscious is proving them right.
And here's what's worse, beliefs are like a table.
So once you have the belief, it's like the top of the table.
But then your brain goes, your subconscious goes and finds the first reference. So for example,
when Patricia thinks God's good, she's got this belief, it's the table. Then she sees the first
example and it puts a leg under the table. Then she sees another one later in the day. And then she
makes this perfect meal and that's God's goodness giving her that. And she gets all of these references, they become like legs under a table, they anchor
it and becomes firmer and firmer and firmer and harder and harder to break.
And so the more you believe something, your mind will find references for it and add legs
to the table and it becomes stronger and stronger and stronger.
So we really do experience what we're deeply convinced of.
Subconscious, by the way, can't think for itself. It just draws to you what's congruent with your basic beliefs. It doesn't think
for itself. It has no mind of its own. It's your mind. It draws to you what is congruent,
consistent with what your deepest beliefs are. So, you got to get through things like that.
People say to me, well, how do I make that shift? Well, a lot of people go through
life just hoping for things. Don't they? It's hope things happen. But when you believe something deeply that you deserve it, that
you've worked for it, or you're worthy of it, or maybe you have faith, hope is a beggar.
Hope is a beggar. It begs for things in life. That never wins. Hope is not a strategy. Okay?
Faith leaps over things. Hope's a beggar, faith leaps over things.
You want to conquer something, have faith, have belief,
have conviction, have confidence.
You want hope you're gonna lose.
You need faith, you need belief.
Don't buy into the theory that you have no choice.
For example, in business, I watch people say,
boy, I've tried the business or I've tried your business
or I've tried this business and, you know,
I've talked to millions of people and nothing happens. Really? Millions? Really? Let's really
look at how many people you've talked to. See, most businesses, what I believe about my business,
for example, is it works. And I know it works. I've proven it and I've watched thousands of people win.
So I have no doubt, I have zero doubt that the business I'm involved in is the greatest business
model in the world. I know that. That's not just my opinion, although it is my opinion,
I've seen facts bear this out.
And one of the reasons is,
is that I know that our business doesn't work the first time
or the first three times or the first eight times.
Most businesses require a large sample size
to prove their worth.
In my business, my belief is if you run
a large enough sample size, you win. Now, if you run a small sample size, you talk to six or 10 or 20 or 30 people,
you've run the odds, the risk is you could lose. But if your business eventually talks
to 300 people or 400 people between you and your teammates, I have no doubt in my mind
whatsoever that with a large enough sample size, you win. So one of the beliefs I have in
my businesses, with a large enough sample size, with. So one of the beliefs I have in my businesses with a large enough sample size,
with enough contacts, with enough experiences, you win.
And that's why it's so important.
There's a belief I have that talking to a lot of people,
getting over this fear of rejection,
believing you win and talking to a lot of people
does two things for you.
I want you to hear me on this.
Number one, this is big.
Number one is that large sample size proves my business
to win and probably would prove years to win. Small sample size, you'd run the risk of losing.
But large enough sample size with the right beliefs, you're going to win in my mind.
The second thing is there's a huge difference between knowledge and exposure. Huge difference.
See, I've seen a lot of people, a lot of knowledge lose. I
don't see people with a lot of exposure lose in my business. One of the reasons you want
to get out there and get on a lot of appointments in my business, in our business, we do field
training and we do one-on-one appointments. The reason you want to get out on a lot of
appointments is one that sample size increases your chances of winning improves. The far
more powerful than that is you get exposure. You get experience. You show me somebody with
tons of exposure to something and I will show you somebody who's You get experience. You show me somebody with tons of exposure
to something and I will show you somebody who's going to win. I'll go back to this NFL
analogy. You see all the people all the time they study film study film. They have a lot
of knowledge. They get to the NFL, getting out. There's a whole different deal. You get
out there with a big speed of an NFL football player. You see these rookie quarterbacks all
of a sudden it's a lot different, but you watch an NFL rookie. Typically if they can get
in three games, five games, 10 games, 12 games,
maybe the second and third season,
more and more exposure things slow down.
They get more belief.
They believe they can perform better
and they ultimately do.
People with lots of exposure win,
people with lots of knowledge don't.
And so that's why large numbers matter in business.
You're gonna get more exposure and more experience
and most importantly, you're gonna get tons of sample size
to win as well.
And you know what, as you go out and start your business,
whatever it is you're in,
if you're going to be starting a business,
just so you know, let me let you know on the front end,
people aren't gonna believe in you.
So if you're addicted to other people's beliefs
or impressing other people or other people's approval,
you're gonna be out quickly because they're gonna reject you.
They're gonna be jealous of you.
They're gonna be haters.
There's enough stuff out there now about haters
and how that works.
If you're gonna do anything great,
you better know your self-it's right.
You better go get a bunch of exposure quickly
so that the business moves from your head to your heart
and my business, I know this.
You can do 8, 10, 12, 15 appointments the first month
and our business, you will love it.
You'll see the goodness we do for people.
You'll see the difference we make.
And then what other people say can't rock your world because you now know you're convicted. It's in your heart, you will love it. You'll see the goodness we do for people. You'll see the difference we make. And then what other people say can't rock your
world because you now know you're convicted. It's in your heart, not your head.
See, knowledge is in our heads, exposure and experience moves to our heart.
And all millionaires were laughed at. All billionaires were laughed at.
Let me just tell you that story. If I was laughed at, I was rejected.
I had family members ridicule me. I had people try to talk me out of the business.
Tell me go get a real job.
Why'd I go to college and do this?
And they're all laughed at.
And by the way, as many people as you think
are laughing at you, there's more.
Behind closed doors when you're not there,
they're still talking bad about you.
So get over it.
Even when you win, they're gonna talk bad about you.
Heck, in my own company, people talk bad about me.
They talk bad about everybody.
Jealous people talk bad.
I know that if people aren't talking about me,
I'm not relevant. I don't care what they think. I care what talk bad. I know that if people aren't talking about me, I'm not relevant.
I don't care what they think.
I care what I think.
I care what God thinks.
And so all millionaires were laughed at.
And persistence pays.
These large numbers pay off.
If you can take daily, massive action, persistence pays and you got to take daily, massive
action.
That's progress.
It's moving towards something.
I want you to have a share of belief with you that I have. No problem is permanent. As long as you're taking massive action towards its resolution.
I also think that any problem that comes up, this is a belief I'd like you to hold. There's always three options.
I don't know matter what people go through, whether it's a business problem or a life problem.
Sometimes it feels like there's no way out. I'm telling you that for every problem,
there are three options, a minimum of three options.
And so whatever you're going through, or when you go through, go back to that belief,
share that one with me, that there are three options out of this problem.
There are three places I could go write them down and begin to experience which one of
those feels right to you.
And when we're going through problems, one of the things I want to challenge you, if emotions
drive our lives, I think one of the most powerful emotions you can experience, maybe the most
powerful is gratitude, is to be grateful.
It's the antidote to almost all fears.
It's the antidote to almost all pain.
If you can be getting to five things you're grateful for, my mother-in-law Patricia, I told
you better.
She's just such a grateful woman.
This is an emotional one for me, but I've known my father-in-law since I was a little boy.
And since I was very little, and then I was very little and then I dated my now wife
Kristiana through high school and so I've known him you know I'm 35 years something like that and so I
was very close to me our families are very close and they had a love affair marriage they were the
kind of people in their Mary they I'd walk in sometimes to pick up Kristiana for a date and they'd be
slow dancing in a living room I'm not kidding you they're just one of these you I'm telling you they
were just in love and it was a beautiful relationship they had.
And in a couple years back, Howard went in for a pretty minor thing in the hospital. And
as Patricia was sitting there next to him, he was actually reading the directory for the
church that week and watching the Bears game. So as a man, he was doing, he was doing three
of his favorite things. He was sitting there with his sweetheart. He was reading the directory
from his church and he was watching football.
And in that moment, he asked her to grab something,
she looked down and he passed.
He passed away there, sitting right with his sweetheart.
And when he passed, you know how most people
just devastated when said,
and she was very sad for the loss.
But I remember her telling me, she says,
Ed, it was the same day.
And she says, Ed, I'm just so grateful
that he's in a better place now.
I'm so happy for him.
I'm so grateful that God took him without him going through a lot of pain.
And I remember her just beginning to list for me all the things she was just grateful for.
And I thought, what a powerful emotion, what a powerful thing to get through this.
And I started to look at that.
What are the things I'm grateful for?
And I'm going to share with you a strategy a little bit later that I think is going to
help you tremendously in that regard.
But whenever you're going through something, take a pause and what am I grateful for right
now and this one, I'm grateful to be alive.
I'm grateful for my family.
I'm grateful for this relationship.
I'm grateful for this or that or another thing.
And gratitude is the antidote to most pain in our life.
And you got to stop playing the game of victim.
Okay.
Success is inside, not outside.
Play the game of happiness and faith and abundance.
Okay, in life, there's really only two things.
There's your reasons for doing something in the results.
Everything else is sort of BS, isn't it?
There's your reasons for doing something
in the results, and there's no waiting to win.
There's no waiting, there's no preparing,
there's no getting around, and there's no excuses.
If you're gonna win, you gotta be a no-excuse person.
They just don't come out of your mouth. They just don't happen. They don't exist. There are no excuses. If you're gonna win, you gotta be a no-excuse person. They just don't come out of your mouth.
They just don't happen.
They don't exist.
There are not excuses.
Because once you begin to make excuses for failing,
you permit its existence.
Once there's a reason why you're failing,
you permit it to exist.
You tolerate it, you pacify it.
There are no excuses, and there's no waiting.
You show me two people.
One person who's getting completely dialed in and prepared to do
something.
You show me another person who just throws themselves in and gets aggressive.
I'll tell you the person that's going to win most time is the person who doesn't wait.
And don't worry about events in your life.
Worry in the Bible, Bible talks about worrying being a sin, but I'll tell you a thing about
worry that's such a difficult thing.
And I've struggled with worry.
I'm the kind of guy I'm so obsessed and focused.
And I always want to make sure I've thought through
what could go wrong.
And that's a negative thing because then my mind
it allows the space to open up where things could go wrong.
But one of the horrible things about worry,
most people listen and say, man, if I could stop worrying,
you're never going to stop it.
But when I begin to worry, I literally in my mind
and sometimes I always say stop it.
Stop it.
What am I grateful for right now?
One of the horrible things about worry in our lives
is it makes you live through an event
that hasn't even happened yet.
You think about it.
You worry about an event, right?
The some situation that's going to happen.
You live through the event as if it happens emotionally.
And most times, the ones we worry about don't happen
or aren't as bad as the way we live it,
yet we have to go through it and live it emotionally
That's one of the great
Determents to worry is it forces you to live through a terrible circumstance that maybe won't even happen
Or won't happen to the extent that you believe it so don't do that
That's a process of rejecting yourself don't reject yourself the great winners in life are their own biggest fans
They've got an embedded belief they deserve to win.
They're worthy of it.
The reason hard work and throwing yourself into work matters is not only do you get a larger
pool of numbers to win by, but the other thing that happens, we only get out of life what
we believe we deserve.
Bad people are willing to go win when they don't deserve it.
They'll steal, cheat and move, but if you're a good person, you will only win and get what you think you deserve.
Good people will never take more than they deserve it.
If there was a pizza, we're all gonna be eating right now
and there were 10 of us in the room and there's 10 slices,
a good person will only take one slice
because that's what they deserve.
Everybody else deserves their nine.
A bad person will take two or three, won't they?
Well, in business, you only take from the table
that which you'll deserve. In life, you only take from the table that which you think you deserve.
So that's why hard work and out working other people matters. The reason that matters is,
not only to get a larger sample size, but it starts to happen when you're busting it, when
you're getting up earlier, when you're making more phone calls, when you're seeing more people,
when you're staying later, when you're working harder, something happens in your little
subconscious mind, the prover, and what happens is your subconscious starts to go
wait a minute.
I'm making more calls on those other people.
I'm out working those people.
I deserve to win.
I deserve better results than them, and then your mind goes on to prove it.
And so that's the power of hard work.
The power of hard work isn't just the numbers.
The power of hard work is it changes our belief.
If your person says, well, I want to change my my belief I can't just think myself into a new belief one that's a limiting belief and not true
But two I'll even let you accept that for a minute
But I promise you if you go do a hundred more calls or a hundred more appointments than another person
You'll be done. You'll say I deserve more than them and your belief of what you're worthy of change
We only get what we believe we're worthy of so So that's why hard work, Max, is don't ever reject yourself.
Don't ever get down on yourself.
There's enough other people that you can't please out there that are going to talk about
you.
The last thing you need is the enemy inside.
The enemy inside taking advantage of you.
That's you.
Don't do that to yourself.
You can't please everyone, so don't even try.
I've tried it.
You can't please everybody.
I even had somebody the other day
who's a very good friend of mine say to me,
you be careful, you're starting to try to please everybody.
He even said to me, he said,
I'm not so sure even though you talk about this
all the time Eddie, I'm not so sure.
You're not trying to get everybody happy and liking you.
Maybe you need to revisit that.
And I did.
And I think maybe even me,
I've trended lately into that place
where I want everybody happy. I want to please everybody and it's physically impossible and it's exhausting. I need to please me and if you have a relationship with God
You need to please God
There's a cast of your life
You know your life is almost like a play and what most people do is they live another person's script
See most of these beliefs you have about yourself, you acquired them when you were defenseless.
You acquired them when you were a little boy or a little girl, and circumstances happened
or parents parented you a certain way.
Different events took place when you were young and they shaped these internal beliefs
that we have about ourselves when we're defenseless and young.
It's not to where adults that these beliefs start to play themselves out.
That's why it's so important to listen to something
like this and say, I gotta take an inventory.
What do I really believe?
And what would I like to believe?
What beliefs would serve me?
What are the things I need to believe about myself
to have the life I ultimately want?
Not the ones I got when I was five years old,
or eight years old, or 11 years old,
or two years old, or six weeks old,
that affected my subconscious.
I'm an adult.
I'm gonna take control of what I believe.
And what most people do is they let other people
write the script of the lives.
Many of you are probably in a career
that your mom or dad wanted for you.
You went through school and you ended up doing something
that mom or dad or someone else wanted,
but if you were to choose, you'd be doing X, Y, or Z.
If you could live your dream, you'd be here or there
or another thing.
Most people live a script that was handed to them
at some point in their life, or a script that was handed them even
later in life. Well, I got divorced. I went through this. So this is sort of what I
do now. That's someone else's script. You write the script. That's what you were
put here to do is to do something great. You control the script of your life, not
somebody else. You can change a script anytime you want. There can be a rewrite
anytime you choose to. Our lives are like a play. There are cast of characters in it,
and you're the lead character.
And you get to decide, listen to me.
You get to decide what the script is.
Are you gonna be the hero or the goat?
Are you gonna be the person who gets stepped on
or you can write the script?
You can be the person's, I'm the hero.
I'm the contributor.
I'm the giver.
I'm the lead character.
These other cast of characters are here to help me put this movie together, to put this
play together.
What happens is once you know who the lead character is and what you want the script to look like,
listen, listen, listen.
Your subconscious mind and God go to work on attracting you the rest of the cast, the rest
of the set, the rest of the script.
But you gotta take control of it.
Most people just go through life with someone else's script
and some character other people helped create.
And you get to choose.
You can start at any time.
There's like 86,400 seconds in a day.
I think that's the right number.
And that gives you 86,400 chances to start over.
At any point you choose to, you can do that.
You can write a new lead character with a new script
and your mind will go to create a new cast around you.
And in like most movies when it's over,
there are three or four main characters, aren't there?
And then there was everybody else
who was in the background, you couldn't name.
In your life, what matters is the main character you
and these three or four main characters that'll be in the script of the movie of your
whole life. That's who you worry about. You don't worry about this thousands of other people
that are in the cast whose names nobody will ever remember. Most people live another script
based on some other character people created and they worry about the larger cast of thousands
of faceless people and what they think. Rather than a great
life as somebody says, I'm the lead character, I'm the hero, I'm the heroine, I write the
script. These are the three or four main characters that matter. These thousands of other people
in the background who go nameless who are, you know, cast member number three, blankety
blank number four, like you see at the end of a movie, I'm not worried about what they
think. They're the main characters of someone else's movie, someone else's script. You gotta stop worrying about them.
That's the cast of your life. And by the way, right now, who's the main cast in your life?
Picture their faces. There's probably two to four to five, maybe six people that are the main
characters of your life. Picture their faces right now. If it's your children or your grandchildren
or your spouse or a mom or a dad or just picture their faces for a second. Who the
main characters of your life? How much do you love them? Who do you want to appear
as in their life? Who do you want them when your life is over to say this was
who my dad was? This is who my mom was. This is who my son was. This is who my
daughter was. And they be again to explain your character is that academy award worthy?
Or is it just like an also ran character people forget?
Were you put here to be one of these people who just passed through the world and no one really remembers?
Or are you one of these people that eternity will remember and by the way, I'm not talking about being famous. I'm talking about just making a difference.
I think if you affect one other life, you were a worthy character.
If you help one other person change their life,
well, then you're worth it.
So you decide who that character is,
and do it for the main cast,
do it for the three or four main people in your cast.
Don't worry about it, boss.
And even that main cast may question you at first.
And that's okay.
The way the adversary tries to get after us
if you believe in that stuff is they try to attack us with the people we love the most get after us, if you believe in that stuff, is they try
to attack us with the people we love the most who reject us.
When I started in the business, I could tell you that my parents were not real sure about
this thing.
In fact, many times questioned me about it.
There are some of the main characters in my life.
Even Kristiana, there was a few times in the very beginning where she wasn't so sure this
was right for us.
And those experiences made me stronger.
Those events happened for me not to me.
Let me explain to you why.
I was doubting it too.
But when I was challenged by Christian
or challenged by parents,
I was forced into a situation to defend what I was doing.
And in the process of defending it to them,
even though I didn't even believe all of it,
I became stronger and more convicted of my beliefs
just by saying them to them.
So those rejections, those inquisitions by them
happened for me, not to me, and made me stronger. In hindsight, they were great. Okay. Now, by and
large, we get what we expect. So you got to raise what you expect from yourself. Let me give you
a challenge here. Begin to raise your standards for yourself. Raise what you demand from yourself.
Raise your standards. And this is how controversial. Inside, lower what you expect from others. Raise what you expect from yourself and inside, I'm not saying it's a leader
don't demand high standards. What I'm saying is inside, you raise what you expect from you,
you raise the performance you expect from you, you hold yourself to an even higher standard,
but you expect lower things from other people because other people will always perform less than
you expect them to. And if you begin to depend on other people in your business for your success,
you are ultimately in that dependency state again and could lose.
Depend on you.
Depend on your performance.
And whatever they deliver is a bonus.
So life's not about that.
Another thing is this, I'll say to you, I meet people all the time and say,
hey man, this is great.
You know, I went through this or I'm overcoming that or I did this or I struggled here
or this life is not about overcoming and struggling. That's a flawed model of the world. I mean
a lot of times I say, Hey man, I say, how are you doing? Hey man, just fighting the
good fight. You know, another day and another dollar battling through something.
That's a flawed mindset. If you believe you're constantly struggling through
things or battling through things, your mind will constantly attract struggles and
battles to you. You all your life, you'll be overcoming things, all your life, you'll be stepping over obstacles.
That's not what life's about. Think through that. Many of you have that mindset.
I'm battling. It's a struggle. I got this.
Well, guess what? You've manifested that in your life because that's your flawed mindset.
You probably raised from somebody who thought that way too.
I'll tell you what champions think. Life's not about overcoming or struggling.
Life's about growing, learning, contributing,
happiness, faith, achievement, progress, winning, peace.
That's what life's about me.
I'm not overcoming anything.
Things are happening for me.
I'm about winning.
I'm about peace.
I'm about contributing.
I'm about getting it done.
You can't have this flawed life model
where you believe you're constantly overcoming something
or battling something.
That's not how it works.
By the way, don't endure your life.
Enjoy it.
Life's not about enduring your life.
Life's about enjoying your life.
It's about being happy.
It's about contributing.
And finding out what makes you happy
and then doing it over and over and over and over again
is the key to a happy life. So, let's talk for a little bit about what makes us happy and then doing it over and over and over and over and over again is the key to a happy life.
So let's talk for a little bit about what makes us happy.
Number one, set some goals.
Everybody says it.
Set goals, set goals, set goals.
Well, the first thing I want to challenge you is set goals is if you possess them.
Meaning people say, well, I want to get skinny.
Now that's not right.
I think a goal needs to be, I will weigh 185 pounds or
I want to get rich. No, I will acquire a million dollars by June 10th, 2015. Be specific,
specificity to goals and not generalities. Very specific. Your mind can't go to work on
filling in a general picture. I want to be rich. I want to be happy. Nope. Define it specifically.
Your mind goes to work as a precise model
when you're specific with it.
If you're in a business where you produce sales,
I want to do a lot of sales next month.
No, I want to do 15 sales, okay?
I will do 15 sales next month.
I will have 15 sales by October 1st, 2015.
Whatever that is.
There's a scripture that I like that I want to share with you
and it's Romans 4.17 and it says,
I have had made the father of many nations before him whom he believed, even God who quick
at the dead and callers those things which be not as though they were. See, you can call
things as if they are years now. There's proof of that in everybody's life. We move towards
what we picture and we attract what we feel worthy of.
And so you've got to believe you deserve it
and you've got to have a specific goal of what it is.
So I would challenge you begin to write through
the specific things you want.
If you were to look at my goals, they probably bore you.
But they're very specific.
I will acquire X amount of money.
I will help this many people.
I will do, and it's a specific,
it almost looks like a to-do list, my goals.
But flaw of all goal setting, and you should read your goals out loud, I believe in that.
I believe in the power of saying it out loud, it reinforces the picture.
When you're reading your goals, picture them as if you have them.
It creates a picture in the subconscious that it goes to work on filling in.
So when I read something, if I were to say, I'm going to weigh 185 pounds and be ripped
in muscular, as I'm saying it, I'm picturing that body. If I'm going to acquire a million dollars I'm picturing that bank account statement
or I'm picturing what that would mean. So as you begin to picture something the mind
goes to work the more specific it can be and the more it's visual the more your brain goes
to work on it. The biggest mistake people make when they set up goals though is they
don't have the juice behind it. They don't have the driver. Goals for the most part without
reasons are impotent. They're dead. You just have stuff you want to do written down. What gets us
to do something in any endeavor is emotion. Sometimes in business, I even hear people say,
well, I don't want to be too emotional in business. Really, everything's about emotion.
Even being cool and calm is an emotion. And so, of course, there's emotion in business.
Now, I don't believe in motivation necessarily, because I think motivation moves you towards motives,
low level stuff.
I believe in inspiration, which is more of a spiritual way
to move towards something.
It's a much more powerful and enduring way
to move towards something.
We want goals that pull us, not push us.
Inspiration pulls us.
We want to have things that pull us, the compel us,
that grab our heart, that grab our attention.
And way we get ourselves to have that pull power is with deep emotional reasons that we
write down next to the goals that we read also.
You show me somebody who wants to be and say great health, for example, and they've got
deep emotional reasons for it.
I'll show you somebody a thousand times, maybe 70,000 times more likely to achieve the goal.
You give me two people with the same goal.
One person with massive emotional reasons, somebody who just wrote it down.
Who do you think is going to win?
Who's going to overcome objections?
Who's going to pile through rejection?
Who's going to keep fighting?
Who's going to run the larger numbers?
Who's going to believe they're worthy of it?
The person with the reasons.
What gets us up at a bed in the morning are our reasons, not our goals.
Our goals don't get us up. Our reasons for having them.
Reasons are usually people and emotions. Let me give you an example about that in my own life.
I have an uncle who died at 50 years old of a heart attack. For some reason when I was at his funeral,
he was one of those family members I kind of resembled. I don't know if you have someone in your family that you kind of look like.
And my family, he was my godfather and he was my dad's only brother. And I looked like him.
People used to say that I reminded them of him.
So when we were at his funeral, it was a very sad thing.
Father of a young family, a great family,
and all the children have turned out wonderfully.
But it was a 50 year old man had passed away.
So it was a very sad thing.
Something came over me though at the funeral
where I thought, you know, I was 30 at the time.
You know, I should probably get my heart checked.
Now I look like him, obviously runs in the family.
When we get back, I think I'll go get checked.
It's interesting how the reticular activating system
and the brain work.
So now I'm flying back, the actual flight back
to California from Boston with my wife.
And I'm listening to music.
And up on the TV, the Oprah Winfrey shows on.
And I'm listening to music, I'm not really looking,
but all of a sudden, my mind keeps catching this TV screen
because I keep showing a heart on it.
Did you hear what I just said?
They're showing a heart on it.
All of a sudden, hearts became important to me.
Three weeks before that same show at a but on,
I would have looked at it and looked away.
But now my reticular activating system
has made hearts important to me and I noticed the show.
Is that incredible?
How much the brain works that way
when something becomes important, it finds it. As we talked about earlier, I'm easily unplugged my music and I plug my
headset into the airplane's audio system and I listen to the show and she was discussing this new
exam they had where they can scan now. They're very common, but they can scan your heart for
plaques and the arteries. I thought, well, gosh, that's incredible. So I ended up writing it down
and ended up scheduling an appointment when I got back to LA with this specific scan
she had on the show.
It's pretty incredible that I noticed it
because of the reticular activating system.
Immediately, my mind went to work on finding resources
to deliver to me this space I had opened in my mind.
That's how it works, everybody.
So I go and I do the exam and after the lunch,
you do the exam and then you go take a lunch break,
you come back and meet with the doctor
and it reviews it with you.
And of course, I went out and had a burrito at lunch, which is great for somebody with a hard issue.
And I come back and thank God that the doctor was somebody who understood moving people and
getting them to have reasons and didn't just deliver information.
What this doctor could have done is just sat me down like an average doctor would do.
An average business person just present information to me.
Ed, here's your scan, here's the issues, here's what you got to do, here's the prescription, goodbye. That's what most people do in business, too, don't they? They get Add, here's your scan, here's the issues, here's what you gotta do, here's the prescription,
goodbye.
That's what most people do in business, too, don't they?
They get down, here's our presentation, here's what we can do for you, and here's the
proposal.
And they wonder why people don't do business, when people do business, because you fill
an emotional need.
People get recruited or bought into businesses because you fill a need that's emotionally
in them.
And so what he did, he was smart, he walks in and he sits me down and we begin to visit
for a minute and he says, hey, so the ladies up front told me that you're kind of a successful young man
and this was when I was about 30 and I said, well, thank you very much. He goes, you probably live in a big house,
huh? And I said, I live in a decent sized home, sir. Yes. And he still hasn't shown me the lab work, the scan,
either. And he says, okay, because let me ask you a question. You got kids. I said, yeah, I've got a
little boy and my wife's pregnant with my daughter who'll be born here in a few months. And he says, okay, he goes, let me ask you a question. You got kids. I said, yeah, I've got a little boy and my wife's pregnant with my daughter who'll be born here in a few months.
And he says, that's great. He says that daughter, I bet she's going to be special to you. I said,
yes, sir, she will be. He goes, you want to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day?
You don't say that to a dad. Do you fellas? I said, well, of course, yes, sir. He goes, I want you
to listen to me very carefully, son.
You continue down the path you're going with your diet
and your exercise.
Some other man's gonna walk her down the aisle
on that wedding day, you'll be long gone.
Whoa, right.
You think he got my attention there?
You think that's a emotional engagement?
I said, oh, okay.
He says, let me have about your son.
He goes, see a good boy.
I said, yeah, he's smart.
He's doing well already.
He says, you won't be there when he graduates high school. I said you bet you wouldn't be a great day
He says you won't be there
Someone else will be there and he says and by the way just for the record
I bet this big house you got how'd you feel about some other guy having breakfast every morning with your kids married to your wife now
Because you've been gone probably the guy will walk her down the aisle and probably the guy will be there a graduation
I'm sitting there getting mad. I says, well, not a minute. What's
in that dad gum scan? I want to know, right? What did he do? He built up all my reasons
before he gave me the diagnosis and the prescription to fix it because it's not just
the information. It's the emotion. So I'm sitting there going, I want to be there for this
daughter. I don't even have yet. I want to be there for my van. I certainly don't want
some other guy running around my house and married to my wife.
And so he says now, let me give you the good news.
If you do exactly what I'm going to tell you with your diet and some of the medications
you're going to be taking, you'll be there for her wedding day.
You'll be there at graduation.
And I'm sure you'll be married to your wife living in a great place.
I said, well, give it to me, right?
And he immediately told me what I needed to do
with my weight loss and my diet and my nutrition
and some medications, et cetera.
And you know what?
I didn't leave there with any doubt in my mind.
I was gonna do every single one
because he gave me massive reasons.
My goals was to get to 185,
but my reasons was my daughter's wedding.
And so every morning, some mornings when I got up
and I didn't really wanna go to the gym,
you know, it would get me up, not some goal written on the page, but the emotion of making
sure someday I was at Bella's wedding.
Reasons is what moves us.
Reasons is what engages.
And thank God I had a brilliant doctor who understood reasons.
And so that's the same for you.
Whatever it is you want, you attach emotional enough reasons to it.
You'll do whatever it takes.
And since that day now, it's been 13 years later, there have been very few days where I was supposed
to work out that I haven't worked out
and very few days that I haven't taken the medication
or done the nutritional program that I was on
because I have reasons to do it.
It's given me longevity, it's given me focus,
and it's made it easy.
I don't need discipline to make my goals happen.
I need reasons and so do you.
And then the third thing you need with goals,
is you got to write out a detailed plan
of how you're gonna do it.
You have to have the goal, you have to have the reasons, and then the plan of how to do you. And then the third thing you need with goals, you got to write out a detailed plan of how you're gonna do it. You have to have the goal, you have to have the reasons,
and then the plan of how to do it.
So I had the goal, which is to get my weight to 185,
there are many other things.
I had the reasons, which was my daughter's wedding
and being in my own house with my family and not gone.
And then third, he gave me the plan, didn't he?
That's how I've stayed healthy.
And that's how your business will stay healthy.
That's how your life will stay healthy. That's how your life will stay healthy.
That's how every part of your life, that same formula, I learned it from them and I've applied
it to this day.
So vision, have a vision that creates something that excites you that's compelling that pulls
you, have it followed up with emotional intensity and review it every day.
They say now why is 70,000 times more powerful than how?
Is that incredible?
70,000 times more powerful than how. And goals
are not promises, they're commitments. And so have them written down and make a real decision.
Okay, the next thing I want you to do is you have to make a real decision if you're going to change
your life. How do you know if you've made a real decision? Once you say I'm on a way 185 or I'm going
to get 10 recruits this month or I'm going to write five sales or whatever it is. How do you know you
made a real decision? You've made a real decision if you've immediately taken an action. A real decision is
proved by immediate action. If it's not a real decision, it was just a passing thought.
So the minute you decide something, take a quick action. If it's, I'm going to get 10 recruits
this month and immediately make one phone call. The only way to change your life is to make real
decisions. And I'll tell you that there are two major decisions that I think you need to make.
Right now. The first one is why and the second one is your detailed plan, how? Third, raise your
standards. Okay. And the last thing I want to tell you is we cannot sustain the image or a goal in
our mind. It's not consistent with our beliefs about ourselves or our limitations. So when you got
these goals, you've got these reasons, you've got this plan, now you're going to work on your belief,
you can do it. Your belief, you can make make that happen your belief that your power enough to make it happen and have somebody to be accountable to whether
That's a mentor or a role model or even if it's God, but account to somebody
So you got someone to answer to and you must know what you want clearly before you can ever become aware of how to get it
If I didn't know what I wanted that day with my heart which is to get healthy and to get those plaques under control I could have never gone to get it. If I didn't know what I wanted that day with my heart, which is to get healthy and to get those plaques
under control, I could have never gone to get it.
Okay?
And so don't have input and goals, have real goals.
Number seven, once you're clear, there are vast resources.
And I think you'll find out in life
that they begin to appear to you.
There are people, places, things, circumstances.
I mean, think about whatever, I know in my business,
everybody's got to access to the same system.
Everybody's got to access to the same marketing material, the same products, the same compensation
plan.
Why do some people win and some people lose?
The people that win or do the things I'm describing, the people that lose don't.
And you know, one thing you gotta do is yourself is you gotta stop separating from yourself
the fact that who you are is not what you have or what you've done.
Who you are is totally different than what you've done in the past or what you have.
You aren't what you've done. You aren't what you have. You aren't what you've done.
You aren't what you have.
You're who you really are and there are two different things and who you are is going
to change what you have and what you've done.
The other thing I want to recommend you do is you begin to have affirmations.
Affirmations are just things you say to yourself out loud daily that reinforce these new beliefs
about yourself.
What they do is they create repeatable imagery in your mind and emotion.
So use a little bit of this for example. I mean I don't care what your
affirmations are. They can be whatever you want to say them. You can say I'm a
great prospector and recruiter. One of the things I say I'm an athlete, a peak
performance athlete. One of the reasons I say that out loud every day is how would an
athlete eat? How would an athlete perform? If you really believe you're an
athlete, would you be eating McDonald's all day long? Would you be eating fast food?
No, athletes don't do that.
You could say, my expertise allows me to be competent in my career.
I quickly and easily discover people's needs.
I bring out the best in people.
I have powerful energy that people want to follow.
I'm in charge of my destiny.
I create my own experience.
I am courageous and love taking risks.
I love uncertainty.
I love to prospect.
I am one of the great
prospectors of all time. Whatever it is, there's hundreds of them. I allow myself to make
mistakes and learn from them. Rejection is progress. Whatever you want to say, you begin to
read these out loud every day. They begin to reinforce things to you. And then one last
thing I want to share with you on this is the idea of rituals. We really are what we do.
We really manifest in our lives,
not just what we think,
what we think is what causes us to act
and how we act produces results.
So there's the thinking and the beliefs and all that,
and then there is the actual actions we take,
and actions are rituals.
Things we do repeatable every single day,
or what make a difference in our lives.
What we do consistently over and over
is what produces our results.
Now, what we do is depend on how we think.
It's what gives us the freedom to act, but rituals or what you would call habits are what
drive our lives, and they're powerful and they're unconscious.
In fact, Duke in 2006 did a study that said 40% of the actions people perform daily aren't
even actual decisions, but they're habits.
Think about that for a second. 40% of everything we do, we don't even actual decisions, but they're habits. Think about that for a second.
40% of everything we do, we don't even think about.
It's habitual.
It's scary and impressive at the same time, isn't it?
But that's what Duke said.
This ritual thing, this habit thing
is a mind-blowing experience.
They now know more and more and more how habits work.
And I'll tell you, it is an amazing, amazing thing.
I'll read something to you.
The process in which the brain converts a sequence of actions
into automatic routine, which is known as chunking,
is how habits are formed.
These are dozens, if not hundreds,
of behavioral chunks that rely on every day.
Some are simple.
You automatically put toothpaste on your toothbrush
before sticking in your mouth, don't you?
Some such as getting dressed or making the kids lunch are a little bit more complex.
This is from a book that I just finished reading called The Power of Habit. I want to give credit
to Charles Duig, the author of the book, and he talks about how incredibly powerful habits are.
And I challenge you to get the book and read it. I want to give him a shout out and a chance to
have you acquire the book. I think it'll blow your mind. But one of the things he talks about in the book that just is incredible, they actually
know the part of the brain now where habits are stored.
It's in the basil gangly a part of your brain and the front part of your brain is where
you store habits and things you do over and over again.
And you have to think about it.
You're very habitual.
You do a whole bunch of stuff you don't think about.
I'll make a bet.
For example, he's talking about toothpaste there.
I'll bet you that when you get up in the morning and you go get ready, that almost every single
day, you do the same sequence of things. If they're men, they shave before they brush
their teeth. But they usually don't do it reverse every day. They either brush their teeth
first or shave. When you get into the shower and you grab the soap, believe it or not, you
probably soap the exact same part of your body and the exact same sequence without thinking
about it every single day. Is that not incredible? You're not thinking about that. But when you get up in the morning, what's the first thing you do? Maybe you hit your body and the exact same sequence without thinking about it every single day. Is that not incredible?
You're not thinking about that.
But when you get up in the morning, what's the first thing you do?
Maybe you hit your knees and pray.
Then you go get a cup of coffee and then you brush your teeth and then you shave.
I don't know what you do every single day.
But I know this.
It's the same every day.
And you don't have to think about it because it's a habit.
It's something you've done over and over and over.
And this book will talk to you about more specifically how to form new habits.
But here's how powerful habits can be.
He studies this guy in the book named Eugene, and I'll mess this up a little bit, but the
summary of it is, is Eugene was a guy who ended up with a brain disease where it ended up
functioning his brain like Alzheimer's, where he lost almost all memory in his brain.
He had nothing in his brain that he could remember.
He couldn't remember who his kids were.
He couldn't remember the names of people that were around him.
And when you would sit in his living room and you'd say, Hey, Eugene, can you draw me the house
here and how to get to the bathroom? And he could not tell you how he gets to the
bathroom or where the bathroom was in his house. Yet, when he needed to use the
bathroom, he could get up, walk, take a left turn and find the bathroom. He couldn't
explain it to you consciously, but he could get there. And it fascinated the author of
the book of the book
and the study is how does he know how to do that?
It's because habits happen on a cue.
So when a cue happens, it pulls the habit part out of your brain.
So the cue habit, like when you wake up in the morning,
boom, you wake up, boom.
That cue signals you to go in habit mode.
Put the toothpaste here, shave there, soap there,
blah, blah, blah, and you move into habit mode
without having to think.
These are powerful and they can be destructive at the same time.
If your habit in business isn't serving you, if it's not get to the office, boom, pick
up the phone, make 20 calls.
If it's to get to the office, walk around, say hello to everybody, check email, do completely
useless things, then you lose.
The person with the best rituals or habits wins.
So they study this guy, Eugene, one day they tell me, so you need to keep an eye on him
because he doesn't remember where he lives. He can't even draw a map of the house.
Well one day his wife went into the other room and she leaves, he comes out, Eugene's
gone.
She can't find him.
Panic sets in.
Can you imagine?
It's like an Alzheimer's patient.
He's gone.
And she knows that he has no idea how to get home.
He can't draw a map of their own house or where the bathroom is, never mind, get home.
She goes searching all over town, can't find him, can't find him. She's in
tears. She comes home and he's sitting in the living room. She says, you gene. Where did
you go? He didn't know. Well, how did you get home? He had no idea how he got home.
And it fascinated her. A few days later, the same thing happened. He left and came back hours later.
But he couldn't tell her where he'd been.
He couldn't remember.
And he had no idea how he got home and he couldn't draw it.
So finally, one day, the researchers came over and let him leave and followed him.
And they followed him many, many blocks away.
And then finally, they grabbed Eugene and said, Eugene, let's go home.
Do you know how to get home?
And Eugene said, I don't know how to get home.
Do you know what your house looks like?
He had no idea.
He said, well, can you draw me a map to get there?
No clue.
And then Eugene started to walk home.
He looked at a stop sign and took a right.
When he saw that stop sign out of his basil,
gleaned in his mind, it pulled out the habit
of turning right at the stop sign.
And then when he got a little bit closer to a mailbox,
he knew, oh, this is where I go left at the mailbox.
And he walked straight home
and into the front door into the living room.
And when they got there, he still couldn't tell him
how they got there.
What it was is that along the walk home, there were cues
that pulled out a habit in his mind.
The cue stimulates the habit,
whether it be the stop sign or a mailbox
or a car in a parked
driveway, he could find his way home based on these habitual cues.
You have them all over the place in your life that cue you to go to into habit mode.
The key thing is starting to be conscious of what those habits are.
From a work standpoint, what are your habits when you get into the office?
What are the cues that get you to move?
What are the new cues you need to get you to form new habits?
And you'll find that these habits drive everything in our life. We are our rituals. We change our rituals in
our habits. We change the outside results that we get. Take control of your habits. I'd
recommend this book on how to form new ones. It'd be longer than this is required here.
And I want her to be able to be the one to teach you or Charles to be the one to be able
to teach you. But I will tell you this is everything. Most people have no idea what their capacity
is if they could take control of their habits. Your capacity, by the way, when you focus on one thing, one
endeavor, one focus, one air of your life, you want to improve is massive. Human beings
have an incredible capacity. Once they decide, I'm changing this area of my life and they
focus on it completely with beliefs and goals and reasons and new habits. You have a massive
capacity to have change and master an area of
your life.
It's never ever a challenge when someone decides to do that.
They can fix it.
And it's all about what I call identity.
It's about our belief we can do it.
I, in my other CD, I talk about the fact that identity is like a big thermostat in your
life.
If you walk into any room, there's a thermostat in the wall.
It's set at a certain temperature.
And in our lives, our identity, our beliefs about ourselves, what we believe were worth,
is that thermostat in our lives.
And so if you walk into room and it's set at 76 degrees, the whole room's at 76 degrees.
And if it gets a little bit hotter, the thermostat kicks on and cools it back to 76.
If it gets a little bit cooler, the heater kicks on and gets it back to 76 degrees.
And our lives, our identity, what we believe about ourselves, are the thermostat that govern
everything in our life.
So if you believe about yourself,
I'm about an 80 degreeer.
I deserve about 80 degrees worth of results.
That sets the temperature of your life
and no matter what you do, no matter how you act,
no matter what you behave,
if life starts to get pretty good
and your income starts to go up
or you're a little bit happier,
your weight loss has happened
and you don't change what you believe about yourself. You just take actions. to get pretty good and your income starts to go up or you're a little bit happier, your weight loss has happened.
And you don't change what you believe about yourself.
You just take actions.
You don't change what you really believe you're worth.
You ever seen someone lose weight and gain it back or make some money and lose it or build
a team and it shrinks or get a few sales and go back to normal.
It's because they didn't change their identity.
You can never exceed your identity.
The most powerful force in the world is to be consistent with what you believe about your identity. You can never exceed your identity. The most powerful force in the world is to be consistent with what you believe about your identity. And so if you don't change that,
what happens is business starts to get pretty good. You'll turn the air conditioners on
of your business life unconsciously, you will. And all of a sudden, you'll cool things
back down to about where they were before. Conversely, if things start to go pretty bad
and you can't pay a bill or, you know, your income's lower than it should be, you'll
heat things back up again and get them back up.
Humans always get what they think their thermostat set at.
They always get their identity.
That's why you see people who lose a bunch of weight and then all of a sudden you see
them three months later and they're kind of back down to about where they were before.
They can't even explain to you what happened.
All of a sudden they got really busy one day and had to have McDonald's or the car broke
down so they couldn't go to the gym for three days.
They think all of that is circumstantial but it's not.
It's your mind going to work on delivering for you exactly what you think you're worth.
It's never circumstantial.
It's never by chance.
It's never by mistake.
It's always by your identity.
So the key in our life is changing what we believe we're worth.
If you can get that thermostat to begin to believe you're worth 95 degrees of fitness
or 95 degrees of happiness or 95 degrees of wealth or 110 or 120.
As you move up that thermostat, you will attract to yourself the habits, the behaviors, et
cetera, that deliver that within a certain range for you.
It's the governor of our lives.
How do we change it?
It's two big ways we change it.
One, associations.
If you're an 80 degreeer and you run around with people that are 120, 140 degreeers, you
can't help but heat up your thermostat to being around them.
The other way is you do a massive amount of work in a short period of time.
This alters the thermostat.
It alters the temperature of our lives because we believe we're worth more than we used
to be because we've done things we've never done before.
Okay.
Last couple of things I want to share with you is asking yourself the right questions we
talked about this in the beginning.
And I told you that we begin to attract to ourselves who we think we are as the thermostat goes.
One of the things that Anthony Robbins taught me years and years ago, and I want to share
these with you, is these questions that I ask myself.
I told you in the beginning, thinking about asking and answering questions.
Tony shared with many of us years ago the power of asking yourself the right questions
to start your day and end it.
This is from Tony Robbins.
I want to give my good friend Tony credit for this, but Tony recommends that you ask yourself seven powerful questions in the morning. And I would
say by and large 90 some odd percent of the days that I learned this 25 years ago since I've done
this. And it helps control my thinking. It helps me know I'm in charge. It helps me know, feel
blessed. It gives me gratitude. So these are the questions that Tony recommends that I actually do
when I wake up in the morning. Number one, what am I happy about in my life right now? What about feel blessed. It gives me gratitude. So these are the questions that Tony recommends that I actually do
when I wake up in the morning. Number one, what am I happy about in my life right now? What about
that makes me happy? How does it make me feel? Just ask yourself in the morning that.
Two, what am I excited about in my life right now? What about that makes me excited? How's it make me
feel? So I've started my day out with two powerful questions. What am I most happy about? What am I excited about?
Third thing, what am I proud of in my life right now?
What about it makes me proud?
How does that make me feel?
Number four, what am I grateful for in my life right now?
What about that makes me grateful?
How does that make me feel?
What am I enjoying most in my life right now?
What about that do I enjoy? How does it make me feel? Number six, what am I committed to in my life right now? What about that do I enjoy? How does it make me feel?
Number six, what am I committed to in my life right now?
What about that makes me committed?
How does it make me feel?
Seven, last one.
Who do I love?
Who loves me?
What about that makes me loving?
How does that make me feel?
What about every day when most people roll out of bed,
the first thing that goes to their mind
worry, what do I have to do today? What am I worried about today? What do I have to overcome? They
literally start their day in a negative mindset the first 20 seconds they're awake. Well, what if you
could roll over and wake up whether you go into a prayer or a thought or whatever it is, but at the
end of that you start the day by programming your mind to be thinking the right thoughts, the happy thoughts, the winner's thoughts, because the quality of our lives are
our emotions, and we know that that has to do with our thoughts.
So if you started every day, ask yourself, what you're happy about, what you're excited
about, and you say it, what you're proud of, what you're grateful for, what you're enjoying
the most, what you're committed to, and who do you love, and who loves you.
You started your day right.
You started moving in the right direction before you've left the bed.
And I've tried to do that for you.
And it made a massive, massive difference.
I was the kind of guy woke up worried, woke up stressed, woke up tired.
And it's made a huge difference.
And then in the evening, three powerful questions before you go to bed.
When so will you go to sleep at night before you hit the pillow?
What have I given today?
And what ways have I been a giver today?
Two, what did I learn today? Three, how is today added to the quality
of my life? How can I use today as an investment in my future? And these are the questions that
I actually imagine you go to bed every night, say, man, what did I give today? And what
ways have I been a giver? What did I learn today? And how is today added to the quality
of my life? See, guys, what starts to happen when you ask these questions
is that your mind begins to anticipate
you asking yourself this and all day long,
it tries to find more of it.
It tries to find more about what you're happy,
more of what you're excited about, more of what you're proud of,
more of what you're grateful for,
more of what you're enjoying, more things to be committed to,
more things to love and people to love.
It helps you find more things to give, more things to learn, and how your life has higher
quality.
Your mind begins when it's a pattern, when this is your habit, when this is your ritual,
your mind begins to dominate and think this way over and over again, and all day long,
your mind is finding the answers to these questions.
It knows you're going to ask yourself that night, or the next morning.
It's a wonderful one of the things
and you'll see your dreams will change too.
You'll begin to dream about different things
and think about different things as well.
The last couple of things I wanna share with you is this,
get your uniform dirty.
When I played baseball, one of the things
that the coach always says, get dirty, get dirty.
What that means is you gotta bust it.
All this thinking is great.
All of the getting in place, the right mental imagery,
and the goals, and the abundance,
and thinking straight, and all that's awesome.
But you then you just got to get dirty.
You got to do the dirty dirty.
You got to make the most calls.
You got to see the most people.
You got to bust it.
You got to outwork everybody
because that's at the end of the day what wins.
The people that win are the most confident
because they've done the most work.
And the ones who do the most work are the most confident.
It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's a loop that never ends.
You show me someone who's taken thousands
and thousands of thousands of batting practice.
They're gonna have more confidence
than someone who's taken two.
It's just a big difference.
And so I wanna challenge you to do that.
Because at the end of the day,
we don't attract what we want.
We don't attract what we'd like.
We attract who we are.
We attract into our lives, people, circumstances,
places and things, you name it, that are who, and things you name it that are who we are.
We attract to our businesses who we are.
You wanna have a great leader in your business,
be one and you'll attract one.
And be a contributor, be someone who gives
and gives and gives and gives.
There's one of the chauwges in the United States
around this great survey just came out.
A surveyed a large group of children in India.
The question was very simple to these kids in India.
What is it you want to grow up to be?
They're 10 years old.
What is your goal when you grow up?
What do you want to be?
And the number one answer in India
was a software engineer.
These were 10 year old kids already focused
on doing something great with your life.
The same question was asked to the 10 year olds
in the United States.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
The number one answer, famous.
Famous.
We live in a culture today that is so dependent upon
what other people think about us.
And the selfies and the pictures and this,
this, this, about other people think
it's an obsessive culture.
It actually makes it much easier to win.
Technology has fed most people's fears and weaknesses even to a greater extent.
So those of us that are about winning, contributing, making a difference, standing for something,
concerned about what we think, concerned about what our God thinks, concerned about doing
something great, or a smaller and smaller group, because there's so many people that just
want to be known or liked or famous or not rejected.
I think that was a telling story about the
United States. The decisions we make, not the conditions of our life shape our destiny.
You can make a decision to be a new you, to write a new script, to be a new character,
to develop new beliefs, to develop new habits, to change the thermostat. You can make a decision
to get your uniform dirty. You can make a decision to be concerned about what you think
and not what others think. And there's a format to be happy. Format in life is very simple if you want to be happy.
It's when your life conditions that you're living meet your blueprint or your expectations of your
life. When you have high expectations and blueprint for your life and the conditions end up
matching that, you're happy. And when you don't have that, you'll be unhappy. So it's about making
something great happen in your life. You change your emotions, you change your life.
As a friend, let me finish by saying this.
I hope this has helped you.
This is clearly one of these things.
You have to listen to over and over and over again.
But if I could say one thing to you is this,
be good to yourself.
You deserve it.
You were born to do something great.
There are seeds of greatness in you. See, I don't know if you believe in something bigger than you or not,
but I can tell you this, if you go take a spoon out of the ocean, you pour it into a cup, you drive it home, that little part of the ocean that you poured into the cup,
that little part is still part of the ocean is in that cup, because that's where it came from. If you believe you come from something greater than you, if you believe in a higher power,
if you believe in God, if you believe in that, where you come from, there's always a little
part of that in you.
There is greatness in you.
There's the DNA of greatness in you.
You're supposed to do something great to give.
You were born for a reason.
You were.
You're worthy of it.
You deserve it.
Be kind.
Be patient. Be demanding. Be relentless. Be obsessed with doing something great. reason you were you're worthy of it you deserve it be kind be patient be
demanding be relentless be obsessed with doing something great but above all be
good for yourself and friends let's make your life a masterpiece you're worthy of
it and the world needs you to be the best you you can possibly be God bless you
take care Follow it on Twitter, edmila.com and Champions Forum podcast.