THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Flaws into Fortune W/ Nikki Glaser

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

Your MESS does not DISQUALIFY you from WINNING! When we look at the most successful people, the ones who we admire, the ones who inspire us, it's easy to believe they must have it all figured out... but this couldn't be further from the truth! NOBODY ever made it to the top without a big ol' MESS in their rearview mirror! And the most inspiring of them all are the ones who are not afraid to be vulnerable and share their mess with the world! I am so excited to have one of the most talented, hard-working, and inspirational individuals on the Ed Mylett show. She is one of the funniest voices in comedy today gracing stand-up stages all over the country. She is the host of 3 hit podcasts, an executive producer for MTV and Comedy Central and I believe she's the funniest person on the planet. I am honored to bring you, Nikki Glaser! Nikki is one of those people we all look at and admire. She seemingly has it all figured out. It seems so effortless! But as I mentioned, there is always a mess in the rearview mirror. Most people are just afraid to show it! In this interview, Nikki opens up about her struggles with anorexia, depression, and insecurity, and how she used her mess to fuel her success. From waiting to die every morning and night, to becoming one of the most adored comedians in the country, Nikki is PROOF that you can achieve your biggest goals no matter your circumstance. And the most amazing part about Nikki is that she opens up about the messes in her life that are STILL happening, including her clash with Taylor Swift and her struggle with relationships. She shares how these issues are affecting her TODAY and what she is doing to become the next best version of herself! Sometimes, it's your MESS that gives you the fuel you need to win. The mess is the human part of us and it's what connects us all together. If you have some messes in your life right now and you feel like there is no way out, this interview will inspire you and teach you that your mess may BE the way out!  

This is the Edmmerwood Show. All right, welcome back to Max out, everybody. I'm so fired up about today because we also, you know, usually there's people that want to get on the show and it's great to have them on. And then there's people that I want on the show. And then try to find people who know people who know people to get to them And I wanted this woman on because I think she's probably the funniest person on the planet But also her backstory is so interesting and the way she communicates the things she talks about I just think are fascinating and I know y'all are gonna get a lot of entertainment

But also a lot of value out of today's show. I first saw you by the way back and like five I think is four or five years ago that's you had a special called perfect. That's where I first saw you. You probably knew her then but she's got this special on Netflix called Bangin which is just blown up her entire career's blown up. She's really this is someone who's kind of her dreams are coming true, like right before all of us the last year or two. So we got a lot to talk about. So Nikki Glaser, welcome to max out. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited to be here.

And I'm so honored that you did reach out to me because although I wasn't familiar with you, prior to that, once I got researching, I was like, this guy is doing everything that is up my alley. I've already just been preparing to be on your show. I've listened to a couple podcasts. And as I was telling you, I already feel the winds of change from some of the info you've exposed me to. It's awesome to be here. And like, I don't know what kind of anything I have to impart, but I sure have lots to talk about with you. I know.

What do you need to change? Oh, I mean, first of all, I need to get a brain scan to figure out my brain health. I want to get one of those. I know, yeah, what I need to change is I need to look at, I mean, smoking pot has got to go. It just your doctor that you had on, I've been struggling with that in quarantine already

of like, oh, I'm just leaning on this a little too much. I began to say it is treating my depression, like convincing myself a lot of these things that it's really not doing. And I always reach a point with things like this. I've quit drinking before, I've tackled and eating disorder. I'm able to, I've quit smoking cigarettes. I'm going to now have to quit doing this.

And it's just a bummer to add onto the list. When it was one, you could think you thought you could get away with. That end caffeine, caffeine is also on my list. Well, that was my killer. I'm surprised to hear you say that, because that was one thing I was going to ask you later was that you would stop drinking

and then you moved to smoking weed, which a lot of people do. And it's not, you know, and I've a lot of friends of mine think it's healthier and, you know, they don't get hangovers and I don't have calories and I'm not selling that to everybody. You all know that I've never smoked weed. I don't, it's not something I believe in. I don't think it's good for your brain health, but I'm surprised to hear you say that.

But let's go back for a second. Because we're going to start all those. How are you doing? Because everyone that's watching this now during COVID, during the pandemic, some of you will see it a year from now when we hopefully aren't in that situation. But like, you've had this blow-in-up career. I mean, everybody, when someone becomes a star like she

has and she's being humble, but I mean, goes from probably struggling know, probably struggling financially to seven figures of income. Everybody knows you. You're on the Netflix Specials podcast, TV shows, deals happening all the time, and then bam, it stops. You're giving it home. This, you're at your parents house right now. I'm living, I'm, it's so wild that I am living in my childhood home where I've lived, we moved when I was in sixth grade, my parents still live here in the St. Louis County. I just, there was something about the comfort of being home. And I don't have a partner, I don't, I have an apartment in New York, but I wasn't even moved into it.

It was like, I was still decorating it. So I just was like, oh, I'll just come to St. Louis in the meantime and hang out. And I've been here now for over two months. And I love it. So I just was like, oh, I'll just come to St. Louis in the meantime and hang out. And I've been here now for over two months. And I love it. I could have to quit this house, too. I really like being a teenager again. It's very safe here. There's a deep fear. As you were even saying, like, you know, people might be watching this in the future when we're out of this. I'm like, no, like as much as I want to be out of this and get back to my normal life, which I was killing it. Like I had a theater tour for the first time in my life.

I was selling out theaters. It was the first time I've ever even worked theaters and people were going to see me at them. I've been doing the comedy club circuit for so many years. Things were just starting to like line up. I had two different TV shows in development. One only one remains of the three and only one remains. I've lost stuff, but I'm really loving the safety

of being back home and not having anything expected of me, not feeling in competition with everyone else. Oh, no one can do stand up. If I was just taking time off stand up, two months off stand up is unthinkable to me. I didn't take two nights off of stand up for the past 15 years. So two months would be torture, would it not be

for the fact that everyone else has to take it off too. So I'm enjoying this period of like, oh, everyone else is getting bad at stand up too. And kind of, I thought you did bad at it, but this is really interesting, because were you happy when all the good stuff was happening? No Like whoa. I got to be honest with you. I was pretty I was just exhausted. I took on too much I always take on too much. I'm already taking on too much right now at being at home

I'm so worried not being able to work and and having to be alone with myself for two minutes You know, I was awful, does that would be. I mean, I'm running from something that I just fill with work. And when you've worked so hard to get to a place where people are finally wanting to work with you, it doesn't even click in that I'm in demand. I still feel like there are people wanting to work with me as some just like kind gesture.

So I'm saying yes to everything. And I just took on too much. And I was, I didn't know how I was gonna make it to this, like when I was thinking about entering into like the summer months with my schedule, with my tour with two shows. I would have a show on TV right now at E. I'm developing a scripted show, a radio show,

the tour where I'm on tour every weekend in two different cities and have to fly back home on Monday to be on my radio show. I mean, it was like, I just got so depressed thing about it and I was exhausted by even the thought of it. And I was pretty miserable and my friends were like, I mean, I've hit these points in my career before where I just collapse and then I get on some sort

of antidepressant that helps me get through it and then I get on some sort of anti-depressant that helps me get through it and then I do it to myself again. I was begging for something to happen to make it all go away and I didn't know what that looked like but it looked like a global pandemic. It really was like I felt like I was begging for this in some way, and I feel bad that I'm almost scared for it to return to normal. I'm enjoying the challenge, though, of reinventing myself, because I'd really never thought that stand-up would be something that would go away.

For stand-ups, it's always something you can never take that away from you. Once you're good at stand-up, you can always sell tickets, and if you have the TV credits, even if you're not on TV, you still have a place to work. And now we don't. So it's kind of scary all over again and I'm enjoying it. Yeah, one of the things about the reason, now you know, I wanted her on. You guys, in addition to me, so talented, like she talks about real stuff and she's vulnerable. She's willing to be honest. So I just want to go, when I do the show, I kind of like

real stuff and she's vulnerable. She's willing to be honest. So I just want to go, when I do the show, I kind of like, some eyes are lessened when someone gives one. You guys, one of the things when you, when you have a big dream, I did the same thing. I got to like my first big dream, my first, you know, whatever amount of money or big house or plane or whatever it was. And then I did the same thing. I started saying yes to everybody because I thought it was a fluke. This is a fluke. And so I'm just doing everything. And I had all this anxiety and it guys, most people aren't going to tell you this. It wasn't what it was cracked up to be. It wasn't what I thought it would be like. Because I'd see these other people that were successfully seemed like they weren't worried they were going to lose it. They kind of always expected to be there. It was never going to go away. And for me, I was afraid it was always going to go away. It was a fluke. And so I just kept working all the time. And so less than is not only do you have to have a

big dream, you have to plan for what it should be like when you get there. Like structures around you have an idea of what you really want it to look like because it's it can overwhelm you and it can be disappointing and it can be depressing. More of the famous people that I coach you guys are well-known people suffer from depression than you could possibly imagine and it is because they got somewhere and thought, wow, when I get there, now I'll be happy. When I get that special, when I get that amount of money, when I walk in a restaurant and people know me or I can pay off my parents' house or whatever the heck it is, then I'll be happy. They delay working on themselves. So I think if they can just get to a different place, they'll people know me or I can pay off my parents' house or whatever the heck it is, then I'll be happy. They delay working on themselves.

So they think that they can just get to a different place, they'll have to avoid themselves. They can keep you. Yeah. That's sound real to you. Oh, man. I mean, you're hitting the nail on the head for me because I didn't realize when all my jobs went away that I thought were bringing me happiness. I really focused on all I had to make me happy was like my dogs and my relationships with my parents

and my friends and I was like, oh, this is kind of nurtured, like this stuff that I was blocking out because I was too busy is actually like kind of, I don't need to go do an extra podcast this week to get the attention. Like I'm realizing that my, I mean, if we're going to get real, I just, I know that I have

sacrifice intimacy in relationships and like, because of my career. I've just, and my career has kept me from those things because I'm totally scared of that. Like that's really what's going on here. And I don't want to go through another one of these alone. Like I love that I was able to live with my parents right now. I'm about to be 36. I can't the next pandemic we have or some kind of weird thing that happens that we're not planning for. I want I I feel like I want a relationship and that is what I am I'm feverishly working on myself right now and taking this time to do so much work on me that

is behind the scenes that I don't get credit for, that I don't get to post on Twitter. And it's hard, but I know now that my career isn't going to go get me groceries when I'm scared. Like, I need someone. I need more than just myself. And my career is just, it's not going to it. It's it's great and I love it But it's it's I feel just like coffee just like weed a little bit of it's an addiction. Yeah They could kill me. Okay, we're going well

We're not gonna let that happen and we're going somewhere that I wanted to go so You guys the thing that makes you successful can also be the thing that can make you the most unhappy. And so her great ambition and drive and she's linked it, she's made more progress than she knows because she's already linked it to her wanting to avoid this intimacy and relationships. That's a huge distinction. Those things are good. And the thing for you, Nikki, is when this is over, is finding a way to navigate that being your work ethic and drive an ambition being a strength, and still weaving in the other things.

Oh, but you don't have to give up one to get the other. Human beings think all the time, I've got to give up this ambition or drive or these fears that move me in order to be happy. You don't, what you need to do is you need to add these other things. You don't have to lose your driver, ambition, or anything like that.

So let's talk about that from it. I want to talk about this book I saw that you're into this gift to I do deal. So it seems to me like it seems to me that that's like a running theme for you. It's like you'd like to find a relationship and you have you ever had a deep relationship with a dude or with a man? Have you almost been married before and why is it so important to you? It's important to me because it's in the past been something that's truly brought me a lot of like genuine happiness and fulfillment.

And I really do like, like sex. And I find that I don't get to have sex as a part of my life unless I'm in a committed relationship. It just doesn't, it doesn't work for me that way. So I feel like I can't do that thing that I really like to do unless I'm in a committed relationship. It just doesn't, it doesn't work for me that way. So I feel like I can't do that thing that I really like to do unless I'm in a relationship. So there's, there's a motivation there. And I, and I have had it before.

I haven't had it a lot though. Like I've, I've had one really long term relationship and we like created a show together and we lived together and all this stuff, but it never was,, but he was never wanting to get married. I was never wanting to get married. So we never took it seriously. And I'm still terrified of actually really pursuing something and letting someone in that is available.

I don't know. The thing is, I don't know what is broken about me that avoids it so much, but it really, when someone becomes emotionally available, I get viscerally disgusted with that. It makes it so I can't even try to, it sucks. It's one of the worst things about me is that when a guy starts to like me as soon as I get a guy to like me, I'm like, I'm not into this anymore and it's not, I'm not trying

to, I wish, I always hold my breath, like, I'm not into this anymore. And it's not, I'm not trying. I wish, I always like hold my breath, like please still be into him when he starts liking you. And a lot of times it doesn't happen that way. Okay, well, like, like probably 60 million people and there's probably three million listening, this are all nodding their head, like that's not that abnormal.

It isn't. Like lots of people are that way. Lots of people are married, but not happy because they got the person. And they both like being shaped. So there's there's something to that and so let's just let's stay on that. So you've tried to fill this thing up if you've done so what I can tell great parents kind of a really good upbringing. Let's or something I don't know. Seems like I watch your mom and dad interact with you. They both seem like beautiful people great marriage, dad seems very funny, your mom seems, you know, they think of your great family.

And then, but throughout your life, there's been these trends that you've talked about. You had an eating disorder. Talk about that for a little bit. You've avoided these relationships. You kinda, did you go a little too far with alcohol for a while? I did, I didn't get into drinking until my 20s.

And when I started really doing comedy and it just became like just in abundance everywhere and was kind of part of the culture. But my first like, I remember my first step of alcohol in high school and like, and being the first time I felt drunk, I remember just saying to my friends, why don't we always, why don't we always like this? Why don't, why wouldn't you always want to feel this way?

Like I had that addicts craving initially. And I remember people kind of looking at me like, what is she talking about? But I just couldn't understand why you would ever not want to feel this amazing. And so I like note that. And then as soon that developed over the years. But my eating disorder came on, like my senior year of high school.

I didn't have boyfriends all of high school, middle school, no boyfriends, nothing. I had kiss boys here and there, but it was always like really just fleeting. And I was just scared of boys, just terrified of boys. And I just still don't know how to describe it. Like I couldn't picture myself. Like my friends were making out and hooking up. And I was just like, I just can't do that. I think I was either a, you know, I was,

I was a late bloomer for sure, but like this was too late. I was just, I was just so scared. And then the second a boy started liking me that I actually liked, I liked was so nervous about it. I just didn't eat one day because I just like lost my appetite because I was like nervous. I was gonna hang out with this boy and maybe we're gonna kiss.

And, and then I just got a lot of attention for the day I didn't eat. It just showed up on me right away and people were like, you look skinny, you look great. And I was like, this feels great. And I always felt invisible. I always wanted to be an actress or have some kind of special quality and I just never really did. And I was really bummed about it and depressed about like,

I'm never gonna be Jennifer Aniston. Like that was my goal was like, I'm gonna have a sitcom by the time I'm 25. I didn't know how it was gonna happen. But I just, I was like, oh, I'm actually not that good at acting and I'm kind of overweight and like, no one really thinks I never get the parts in the school play is how am I gonna go to Hollywood and do anything.

So I just like, what am I gonna do? And then I got really good at starving myself and I got a lot of attention because I looked really good for like a minute and then I looked really scary. And then it was out of control and I was addicted to starving. Like just the quickest descent into disease.

And then by, I picked it up in March. I mean, I was a healthy lady in March and then by July, I was hospitalized. And then, and like against my will, I was just going to the hospital to do a physical to go to college that semester or that following fall. And they were like, we can't let you leave. You're gonna die because you're,

and I'm used, I was so sick. And like, my parents work in complete denial of it. So they are great, but there were some issues in childhood that I don't blame them for. They did the best they could. They were super scared and didn't want to believe that their daughter was starving to death in front of them, even though I was.

And it's something that if you're around it every day to give them credit, because I did look freaking scary. But if you're around it every day, you don't notice it. You can really get used to someone looking really scary. And then long story short, I went to college. I like convinced, I got out of the hospital.

I lied my way out of it, because anorexics are amazing liars. And I convinced I ate just enough to like make people think I was okay. And then I went to school and got to starve again. And but when I was at school is when I first started having people tell me that I was funny and that I should be a stand-up comedian. And I had no idea. I thought I was just gonna die. I was like waiting every night to frickin die because I would fall asleep starving and I would wake up and have to be starving all day again. And I was like, there's just no end in sight. And so then I was like, oh, I guess I'll try

a stand-up comedy. I don't know what this is. And then I did it one time on a show on campus. And that was it. I was like, oh, okay, this is what I can, I'm better at this than I'm as good at starving as this. And this feels like something I can actually be great at. And I have like, have a natural knack for.

I'm special at this. And then I started, I was like, then I got to figure out a way to survive and to beat this disease because I can't go on stage looking like how I look. It's just too much. So then I found a good therapist. What was that?

Yeah. I just went to the campus. I transferred to transfer to schools, went to the campus, like counseling services, found a guy. Thank God for this guy. He, and you, something you said in the podcast I listened to earlier reminded me of the session that really like helped me more than anything. Was I had a therapist who had a severe stutter. He was this guy with like just the worst stutter. It was I mean it was almost funny to be and

Diagnosed by him It would like the whole session would be him just like stammering But I really loved him because he was so vulnerable and he was so embarrassed something so embarrassing And he was like and I can really he was the first person that could understand what I was going through because he was like I walk around with this thing and people everyone's kind of like And judging me and just spit it out Whereas with me they were like just swallow it eat a cheeseburger And I just spit it out. Whereas with me, they were like, just swallow it. Eat a cheeseburger.

And I didn't know what to say. I couldn't be like, I'm trying. I don't even understand anorexia anymore to this. I still suffer with some of it. But the idea that you just can't eat when you're about to kill over and die is I don't recognize that anymore, even though I live through it,

and I don't understand it, and it's so frustrating for loved ones to go through. But he said to me, you didn't choose this disease, the thoughts that you're having that say don't eat, start to think of those as not you. Act like you're possessed. Like the, and that was the first time, like you had said that it occurred to me that my thoughts were not

true or like they didn't come from this place of like because they're there they're real like you can ignore your thoughts and you can actually make those thoughts as someone else like an infection that you have to like ignore and as soon as I had that I could stop I could start telling that bitch to shut up and be like, I need to eat right now. And I just, you know, I wish it was just that easy of a fix, but that was the first hurdle that I just opened a world of recovery up to me that I wasn't there before.

So you just really helped a lot of people. And I just thank you, number one. I wanna say this because there's so much there, but one of the main things guys is that a lot of time, someone has a drinking issue or an addiction to not eating or an addiction to eating. They think they've licked it like it's gone forever. You're going to be a part of your mind.

That person is still sitting there all the time. And so you've got to, it's never gone. It's your ability to keep it at bay or to keep it at a distance and to know it may return, and that you've got to fight that fight again. I wanted to say one thing to her, but this may be a little bit long but I want to keep going on this.

Just something to consider. So Nikki's, and by the way, one of the things she's done is she's replaced an unhealthy obsession with a healthier obsession to some extent with her career, which can eventually become unhealthy, like she said. Yes, which it is. I feel Michelson's on this week,

and he's the professional golfer. One of the top 20 athletes of the last two decades, and he's said on the show he goes, I have to play golf, because if I didn't have golf, my obsessions would gravitate to gambling or drinking or women or something unhealthy. So you have that type of a personality, which I have to, which many of you have relatives

or yourself or that way, which I have to, which many of you have relatives or yourself for that way. You've got to have these healthy obsessions. You're going to obsess on something when you're this way, because our brains have gone into this obsessive pattern. Just something to consider for Nikki, and for all of you listening to it is, as you know, I didn't make this up. Tony Robbins talks about it I do, but there's six human needs. We don't have a whole time for the class on it today. But humans have six needs, not eight, not 23, six, and they're not watching. You need them. And in any given time in your life, one or two of these needs is the most dominant. And typically those needs come from some crap that happen when you were kid, something. Yes. So those needs are the need for certainty, the need for certain and for certain. And an easy

bake oven. Oh, wait, no, sorry. I was thinking of a childhood need. Certainty. Yes. And then what was the other one? Uncertainty. Watch.

Stay with me. Certainty. Uncertainty. Those are Paul Rapskik. When you're looking in a relationship, what do you want? You want to do this spontaneous and surprises you. He feels the need of uncertainty. But you really want to do.

He's loyal on his trustworthy. He doesn't cheat on you. That's the certainty, dude. He fills the need of uncertainty. But you really want the dude who's loyal on his truck word. He doesn't cheat on you. That's the certainty dude. So you want both of them. But in life, you also have the need for significance or recognition, the need for love and connection, the need for growth and the need for contribution. So the six needs are certainty, uncertainty, significance, love and connection, growth and contribution. And any given time you're trying to fill those needs up. And so if you can just be conscious of that in your life, you're like, what am I trying to do right now? Is this to get more significance?

Is this to get more recognition? Or am I doing this to get more love? Is that the need I'm trying to fill up right now? Or is it for certainty? Or like if I don't eat, I'm certain people will feel this way about me. If I don't eat, I get recognition. If I don't eat people.'m certain people will feel this way about me. If I don't eat, I get recognition. If I don't eat.

I get a love, yeah. Yeah, okay. So what's the need that's coming up all the time? And when you begin to understand that in a relationship, why do I like this guy in the beginning so much? Because maybe he's filling up this need I have for spontaneity and uncertainty and it's new. And then man, the minute I start getting too much significance in love and connection, I'm not interested in anymore. So I'm not saying that's what it is. I'm saying it's a cool game to start to play where you're like,

what the hell am I doing? This is my addiction to recognition and significance so I run this pattern. And when you at least have that, it starts to lose some of its power over you. And you begin to understand yourself just a little bit more. So one of the other things about you, just for what it's worth everybody, that surprises me about you because you are so successful.

Everyone, she's being very human with you and then just so you know, she's on the spinning earth, one of the most immensely gifted and talented people in the world at what she does. So she's being really real with you, but then there's this other side, where there's this genius. We all have a genius. It can be our kindness, our physical beauty, our intellect, our humor.

She's got a genius. And I'm talking like one of maybe four or five people. And in my mind, number one, at what she does. But yet you care a lot about what people think about you still. I know. Like this whole Taylor Swift thing that happened. Just tell them what it is. And they tell, why are you that way?

You're a millionaire. You're famous. You're amazing at what you do. Your peers love you. And let's just be honest, guys. One of her things is she's kind of like, hot when she's a comedian too, right? Like there's an element of that.

So it's not as if you've gone through life being an unattractive woman is what I'm getting at. But I feel as if I am and I deep down I am and you can put a lot of makeup on me and get the right ring lights and have the shimmer and the, but I feel it's an illusion. I mean, there are times when I do feel beautiful and I look in the mirror and I say that to myself and I truly believe it. And then I see a picture five minutes later and I pushed off my pedestal. I mean, it, I just, I really struggle.

I struggle from early age of just feeling ugly and not comparing myself just based on looks to other people and feeling like that was all that I was worth. And it's taken me finding other paths to get the attention by being super funny. Okay, people don't look at me as much. And that's what being funny did for me was people didn't look at how skinny I was

and worry about me because I was so funny. People I couldn't didn't look at how skinny I was and worry about me because I was so funny. People couldn't didn't notice. I was like the class clown, like look over here, not at how I look like I just got out of Auschwitz yesterday. And so it was a defense mechanism. I, and then I even struggled with being known

as like a pretty comedian because I did, when I started, I was young, like I was 19 and so I was good out of the gate. Like I was decent and I had promised and I think a lot of my, like now I think, oh, I'm just successful because I was the young, pretty funny girl. And now I'm like, okay, now I'm aging. What if the prettiness goes away,

even though I don't really believe it, but that's what people say, but it goes away. Now, am I gonna be funny enough without being pretty too? Like, what's aging gonna be about? I don't worry about... I do worry about what people think about me. I mean, I just think that that's something I work on because, and I care less as I age, I really do.

The Taylor Swift thing wasn't about me caring what other people thought. It was about me caring about what I thought. See, what happened was I did, I love Taylor Swift maybe more than anyone in my age should. She just makes me feel like a young girl again. I really could have used her music when I was growing up. Like, I tend to make comedy for myself when I was 15. I just feel like that was a time I could have really used

some more guidance in my life. And my biggest dream is to have girls trading my videos, secretly, their parents won't let them watch it, but they learn stuff about what it's going to be like when they get older through me, because I yearn for any of that. And Taylor Swift has been that for me. I just love her music.

I relate to it so much. And I'm not even talking about a recent stuff. Like her song about being 15 and losing her virginity. Like the fear of that song still resonates with me. And so I love her and I talk about her a lot. And so she had this documentary that came out this past January. And it was kind of exploring, it was kind of dealing with why she went away for a year.

She kind of had too much media attention. It got too bad, too much for her overwhelmed and she went away. Not all that different than what you're describing. Yes, I really, on a much smaller scale, like just being overwhelmed. I can't even believe she went away for a year when I heard that I was like, you can go away for a year. Like, what if they don't remember you? And it's like, that's like my biggest fear. So I'm already like an awe that she did that. But then in the film, I'm watching the trailer. It dropped like January 21st or something if that are remembers in bed, watching the trailer

because I was so excited to see the trailer for this Netflix documentary. And I hear my voice in the trailer. And my voice is used in a scene to set up the fact that she like, it's too much, too many mood people having opinions about her. And I said she's too skinny, all of her model friends, I don't like it. It was just something like that.

I knew it was my voice right away. I called on my friends and I was like, listen to this trailer. I'm in this, I'm in the documentary. I'm, I'm sure of it. And this is terrible. Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm going to look like this is so ironic, I'm her biggest fan and yet I'm crashing her. And so my friends are like, that's not you.

I was like, I know it's me. I know my voice. And I waited a week till the movie came out and then it came out and sure enough, I'm in the documentary saying exactly that. And it's my face and everything. And I just felt like gross. Like it just, it wasn't, what I said wasn't funny. It was just critical.

And it was so funny to me because I judged her for the things that I would, I wish I were too scared. Like I always love when people are like, are you okay? It's like validating to me that like, I'm doing things right. Like if someone calls me too skinny, I was just projecting. I was jealous that she was so skinny.

She had model friends. It seems like, oh, she only has model friends. I'll never be friends with her. And it just like was like, it was a bad look. And I honestly love Taylor Swift. And I know that she wouldn't have, she didn't see that before the documentary. It was in the documentary. She only saw it once it was chosen for the film. But she saw it. She saw me mouthing off. And it just felt gross. So I wrote her an apology on Instagram because I knew that was the quickest way to get her to see it. And she did. And she forgave me.

And you know, I haven't heard from her since. She forgave you. She wrote back. Yeah. And she was like, she wrote, oh my gosh, thank you so much. And she wrote like, because it was all about her. She was anorexic. And I was, I mean, the irony is, it's crazy

that I was the bully for the anorexic girl. And so she even said, like, I'm so, because I even said, you know, I've suffered with the same things that she has. And I can't believe I'd be one to judge her for it or comment on her body at all. Because it was like, ugh. And I just, I wanted to clean up my side of the street.

I just wanted to feel, it didn't matter if she forgave me. I really didn't care. I just posted it and like, right after I was able to listen to her music again, which I wasn't able to listen to for a week because I was like, I'm such a bad Taylor Swift fan. She's done so much for me and I like slander her. Like, I just was consumed by just guilt that I had made someone, it'd been so judgmental and it just made me look

at my shit talking self and be like, you need to stop. You need to calm down to quote Taylor Swift. And so yeah, that's why I did it. I was just like, I don't like this side of myself. Now listen everybody, look, I wanna say a couple things on that too. That's a super cool story by the way, but I did tell you

people that I know that know you tell me like they obviously how talented you are and then the next thing is she's such a really good person and I say that I say that for this reason and I don't know like multiple people like it's the they go she's unbelievable and man she's a really good person. Why do I tell you all this? You're most of people that says you're trying to make their dream come true. I hope you've got two things at least so far. I hope you've got like 50. One, good people can win. Two, imperfect people win. A lot of you think, well, I've got this fear, this insecurity, or this weakness about me,

or this secret. I've got this secret that if everybody knew, you know, I did this in a relationship, or they knew what I do behind the scenes, if they really knew how bad or pathetic or screwed up I am, you think that discounts you from winning somewhere else. And it's not true. Most of us that won, we're pretty screwed up.

Most of us that have won. And so your mess does not disqualify you for making your dream come true. It doesn't. In fact, it's aify you for making your dream come true. It doesn't. In fact, it's a qualifier for making your dream come true. And one thing you've also done, Nikki, one of Nikki's things is that she's known as being hilarious and also like an attractive female performer. And there are men that are known as that as well.

Sebastian, Mass Galco, really good looking dude, Chris Delia, like good looking funny dude. And then there's other guys who are like, their niche is they're the big guy, or whatever guy, right? So everyone has their niche, but you've also done well, let's just be real, and a relatively male dominated space, relatively, right? They're, I think of Whitney and there's several other women

that are blowing up right now too. However, it's a male dominated space and it's also, for the most part to your point, most of the women that are doing well are younger as well. And so, what about that like? Is that, is it been more difficult as a woman or is it just to say, you're funny, you're funny? I, you know, I don't know because it's all I've known and I, the second that I start to say you're funny, you're funny. I, you know, I don't know because it's all I've known. And I, the second that I start to say it, it has to have been a little bit more difficult. But I think that I've also benefited so much from being a woman and having less women doing it

and feeling like, and having the ones that've come before me. This is what I'll say to that is that I, I've never felt like a female comic. And I'm, I didn't until recently, until the past like maybe five years, have I really embraced that and been like, hell yeah, I'm a female comic. It's the best kind to be. We are killing it. We have to, we work so hard. We, to even want to do it is like just not, women are conditioned to be stand-up comedians. As children, you're just, it to find it and to be good at it and to have the confidence to do it. It's in

the fearlessness to do it. It takes a lot. So I feel super privileged that I like even was set up to actually pursue it. But I feel like I never was like, I'm a female stand-up. Like I just didn't feel different or less than the guys. I knew I knew from watching the female standards for for me that I could be the best at this because female standards to me were better than the men. And I really they've always been my favorite. And so I just never felt different, but I do feel,

I mean, first of all, aging in this business no matter, I mean, I did pick like one of the best fields comedy, stand up comedy again, do because your age truly doesn't matter. If we're really, my looks should not matter, but it does. You get on TV more if you're an attractive looking person. It just happens that way. It sucks.

That's why I've really, I've started fostering this like broadcasting talent. I see my, I see age happening. I know what happens. TV opportunities drop away. I'm looking at it realistically and I'm like, well, I need to get good on radio. And I want to get good on radio. I don't want to be on TV for the rest of my life. I do like TV, but it's, as a woman,

it takes a lot more out of you. Hair and makeup and like worrying about staying thin enough or whatever you think is gonna make it make you work. Like, radio has given me just a freedom and podcasting that I chose on purpose. Like I saw it coming. Like I was like, oh, I'm 32. If I'm good at, when I'm 42, I want to be really good

at something that doesn't involve me having to be young Really? Radio You think about those things? I think about the few. I mean, I already thought about this pandemic. My whole act has to change now because the act I was doing, I was going to take a new special this year and now With my new theater tour that I took out that's on hold, but I was talking about oh, I feel like the end of the world

Something weird's coming. I got to find a guy with a bunker. I was like, that was my whole joke line was like, I need to find a guy with a bunker. I used to say on stage, if you can show me that you have four fifths of a bunker planned, and I know that you do because you would not be out tonight unless you knew that bunker was good to go with just a little bit more time.

You take surviving the end of the world seriously. If you could show me the blueprints for those tonight, I will blow you. used to offer that I was like let's start a courtship now because I want to live And I just I just Want to be prepared. I'm a prepper in the sense that like You just want to find a guy who's a prepper like that, but I'm thinking about I'm thinking towards the future and what I will also say is that I I'm thinking towards the future. And what I will also say is that I am so lucky that I don't care about exposing the really awful sides of my psyche and my history.

I mean, let me be honest. Some of these things take a couple of years before I have like a distance enough from them to be like, you know, I wasn't talking about being bulimic a month out of being bulimic. A few years down the road, I'm like, yeah, I was bulimic. I can admit to you that I used to throw up after meals. And that's something I never thought I could admit.

Just like being the bed, I remember in fourth grade, third grade, peed the bed. And I remember thinking if anyone finds out about this, I will have to kill myself. I remember thinking that as a third grader, like my life is over. So for me to be someone who stands on stage and talks about all of this stuff

and used to just fear it more than anything, fear my secrets getting out, it's so freeing. And I'm like, I just feel so grateful that I don't care about being, and my parents are sometimes embarrassed for the things that I share. And my friends are sometimes like, why would you say that?

Or I remember Natasha Lajero on my, I had a show about sex on Comedy Central called Not Safe. And I remember one time I was talking about like, anal sex. And Natasha, who is, I was one of my favorite comedians, when I look up to so much and years ago, I was like so excited to have her on my show.

She was just like an older sister type. And I remember her just going like, did you just say you have anal sex? And I go, oh yeah, I go, I kind of like talk about that. And she goes, you do? Like her just being like, even a comic who I think is like so open was like easy. I remember her being like, and I go,

oh, I didn't know that you weren't supposed to. So I, to your listeners, like, I start sharing those things that you're like, you think you just do because I'll tell you when you start sharing them, it is such a load off when you find other people who relate to you. And that is what I've found it to be very healing sharing things on stage that I think that are just me

because I've learned time after time again of sharing those things, it ain't just me. And it's, and the awareness of the things, the awareness of the fact that I mean, I talk openly about like having, like still eating issues where I can like eat six protein bars in a sitting, you know, just like do something weird like that and like waking up with rappers in my bed and not the good

kind, the kind that starts with a w and just it's so real because that's really something that was up until recently occurring on a nightly basis. It was so embarrassing yet I was talking about it openly and by doing that, it made me like have to look at it a bit more. And like the joking about it made me go, okay, this is kind of you've been, you talk about this a lot. This is obviously something on your mind. And so now I'm like, I'm actually taking steps to deal with it. So in being so open has actually helped me like get past a lot of things. You were cool combo of the anal thing and then the rappers in your bed back to back.

Yeah, that's the kind thing and then the rappers in your bed back to. Yeah. That's the kind of porn I watch too. Here we go. Rappers with a woman lost in a gym. Oh my God. So listen, anal aside, there's a lesson. Or anal aside, that's the neck. That's going to be my memoirs.

That's your new special. That's my, that's my new. Right. Nobody's side. She's making an smash. Yeah. Right. No, but aside, she's making an unbelievable point here, because this is why, here's one thing, y'all try to hide your flaws.

And I do it a little bit too, but I pretty vulnerable about stuff I'm screwed up on all the time. Why do I do that? Well, one, it feels better for me to get it out. That way, when I do make other mistakes people are like, ah, I said it was perfect. But the other part of it is to you guys,

one, it connects you with people, because they're screwed up too. You're listening to this, because there's a little piece of you screwed up. I'm doing this show with her, because there's a little piece of me screwed up. I learn from people like Nikki, right? There's one other little thing,

when you're vulnerable with people and tell people, even on your social media, you're like, well, I'm a nurse. Why would I tell people about what I'm afraid of? Let me tell you why. People root for you. Yes. You wanna build people root for people they connect with.

They root for people that don't think they're perfect. And so one of the things Nikki's established is like, when I told people you were coming on the show, seriously, they're like huge fans. Not like, yeah, she's funny. I like her stuff. They're like, I love her. There's a big difference, you guys.

Even the biggest compliment that happens for me is when people say, I love his work or you're show-made a difference. I love that. But when someone says, like, hey, I really relate to him, or I connect with him, people keep telling me when I said you're on, they're like, I love her. That's because of these things that you're describing.

I'm just curious. you said the radio thing. Do you know what you want now? We know you want to be in a relationship, which I'll last in a minute here. But career-wise, is it to be a, is it like you're good friends with Amy Schumer? Is it to do what Amy's done or is it to do what Amy's done now, which is have a family? Right. I don't really have goals. I don't know. I would love to hear your take on that. I'd rarely have like goals in terms of, I mean, I have

certain things like, Oh, I'd like to host SNL one day. I always wanted to be on a Howard Stern, Cross Set Off. Short-term goal goals, like I do, like, oh, before the end of the year, I'd like to do this. But in terms of like lifetime goals, I would just, I wanna be in love again, at some point, career-wise, though. I've done like everything I wanna do. Like, it only can just get, I just wanna do things that bring me happiness

and bring me closer to people and help people. I think that is, I wanna make people feel less alone. I kind of just wanna be the artist that I kind of needed in when I've been as desperate as I've been in the past. So I think my goal is how I can continue to do that in any way. Movies, yeah, I'll do them if they come to me. There are a lot of work. Riding and, you know, I've a scripted show coming out eventually. It's some day that I'm writing.

It is hard. And I'm stand up. It's just not that hard for me. It's like, I'd rather do that. And my agents and managers, they don't like to hear this because they would like to have me be on TV and in movies. But I just, I don't enjoy the process as much. And I've done it. You're sitting on set all day. It's cold. You're in your trailer alone. I like touring.

I like doing podcasts. I like, I'm honestly looking into doing a reality show because I'm like, my talent is not acting. My talent is being real all the time. And the show could be just my life because I'm not hiding anything already. Why not just put it on camera and kill two birds? So that's kind of my goal for this year

is to actually get a reality show on a major network. So that's the goal. A lot of my entertainment clients or friends are like that. It's interesting in that one field, you're only successful for a couple of reasons. One, you were good at it immediately, which is a rare as you know.

Thank God. Like I sucked, I didn't have any breakthrough, no one laughed. Oh, I was bad for a while, but the first time I did it, I showed a lot of promise. And I just showed promise in the beginning. I mean, it was terrible for years, just in terms of stage presence,

but it was the first time I go, oh, wow, I'm better than most people at this in the beginning. And I had never felt that at any sport or any school subjects. Okay, don't be thinking about this. I want to know something. I want everybody to have.

Everyone has a superpower. So if you're not a goal setter, usually like, because I have a lot of friends that are successful, they don't set any goals. So like, look, man, it's work, my ass off. They're superpowers. They just outwork everybody. Yeah.

What is yours? Don't be humble. Like, I get it. You have these, we all have them. You're more bold about yours. But what are you great at? Like, I'm great at, what am I great at? That's a great question. Unbelievable that you hesitate.

Unbelievable. I would say I work hard, but I don't feel like I do because all of the work I do is just showing up and going on stage. I don't sit at a computer in right jokes all day. I don't listen to my sets and go over line by line. I just kind of like jot some notes in my phone if I say something funny with my friend.

And then before I go on stage Like literally as I'm walking on stage. I'll be like looking at it like Okay, and then just like what like I just glance the work. It doesn't feel like work But I do do it every night like it's a lot it's a lot like meditation like I Meditation doesn't take any real effort for me. Like it doesn't feel like work. Yet I'm getting this immense benefit from it. So I just do it every day and stand up. The it feels so good that it's not hard for me to show up.

But I do, I work super hard. I really, I must because I get told I do all the time. But here's my super power is that it never feels like enough. And that I never have like enough. And that I never have a sense of accomplishment. It's always, it's terrible. I wish I could let things land. And I do. I've learned a little bit more like I can give it like one night or one day to really relax and be like, I can take the day off. But almost immediately I either am filled with deeper grit over what I did and could have done better

and should have done better or and thinking the next time you will not let that happen again. And so the next time I work twice is hard. I'm identical in my big speeches to big crowds. Like a media, you were great. No, my God, if we got to say this, I said that. Yes. Why'd I do that?

And my team will tell you, like, they're like, bro, you're like in misery after these talks almost. So when I'm doing it, when I'm doing it everybody, I love when I'm doing it, I'm gonna hold that work. The minute it's over, it's like, ooh, that was terrible. I can't believe I did that.

What if you were a whole thought to take with you too? I interviewed Marshall Faulkier today from my coaching group, famous NFL back, St. Louis, he's played and sang with the team there. And Marshall's like, I never, he's a hollow famer, super bowl winner, you know, MVP blah, blah, blah. He's like, I never felt great. I never thought I was amazing. I think all successful people are, there's a little unhappiness too. When I started the show, Nicky, one of the things that I was interested in because I call it max, I was like, when would all these people have in common?

Like someone who's the best wide receiver in the NFL, someone who's a presidential candidate, someone who's a worldwide famous comedian now, someone who's a CEO of a company, a millionaire, a person who rides a horse, someone who kills Osama bin Laden, all these different people, right? What do they have in common? And I was surprised. Stephanie McMahon runs the WWE. Gemini's. Yes, exactly. His design is it.

Yeah. Work ethic, goals, more what it is, a little bit of depression. Is it that attitude? Wow. And I think the reasons for achievers is we have these standards of what we think we're capable of and we never measure up. And that congruency is kind of healthy because it causes us to keep pushing, but it's unhealthy because we never really reach this place where we feel like we've made it. And here's the conclusion I've come to and I've told a lot of people this and this will

be this will completely throw you off, but what if like there's nothing wrong with you? Like what if the fact that we always think something is wrong with us or that we're missing something is the issue and I coach entrepreneurs. I'll tell you what if like you're what if you're like perfect for this moment right now Yeah, it is that you're going to get you're gonna grow into the next moment because you always do but in this given moment in the universe You're perfect for it. And you show up perfectly, and everything you need is within you right now. And what if you're not screwed up? What if it's normal to be a human

and have weaknesses and insecurities? That doesn't mean we don't wanna grow and improve to be ready for the next moment. But in this moment, I don't mean to be cheesy, but you talk about meditation. What if you're perfect right now? What if not screwed up? What if you don't mean to be cheesy, but you talk about meditation. What if you're perfect right now? Not struta. What if you don't have issues?

What if you're right now the way you're supposed to be? And in the next moment, you'll grow into that moment. Rob Deerdick was on my show, and he's one of the people that's been on the show that we became real good friends and we're business partners now. And Rob was talking about, he was sort of a single dude out there being a single dude, kind of known and Hollywood as that too.

And he goes, I just didn't want to be that dude anymore. And then in every relationship I just screw him up, kind of like, you know, I just get bored or that was enough. And he goes, I finally decided that- Are you setting me up right now? Oh wait, no, he found someone. Okay. God, I thought I'd be a part of his fantasy factory. All right. I'm going to go. Have his friends over to Rhyme. Sorry.

Sorry. I was not good. I'm going to come to you. But he said he goes, he goes, Hey, man, I just sort of accepted. Like I'm okay right now. And he goes, as I grew into the man that I was capable of becoming, the woman arrived that I was worthy of. And I thought, hey man, that's gold right there.

And it wasn't even supposed to be a relationship podcast. I don't think you screwed up. I think you're human. I think you're perfect as you are right now. And if you continue to live everybody constantly, like I just asked this mega successful woman, who's been her dad's home office in St. Louis, Missouri and has been living here too much Real has read off in this podcast. I've been eating disorder. I'm not good in relationships

You know, I said stuff that Taylor. She can give you a hundred things. She's not good at. Oh, I said What are you great at? This is one of the most successful people on earth. What are you great at? Uh, oh my God, great at. By the way, that's most humans. Yeah. And the list has to be long of what you are great at. And by the way, if you will show up in five years,

Nikki, if you keep this pattern, you'll say, you know what, everything's good, except this thing about me right now. Yes. And if that thing's always going to keep you, that's the thing, this false belief that there's some better version of myself that I'm waiting for.

Yes. And by the way, she's going to show up anyway. Yes. Always prepared for the next moment. So I'm not talking about like self love, love yourself as you are, but because sometimes that means like, you don't need to change. You don't need to grow. I'm not saying that. I'm saying, about like self love, love yourself as you are, but because sometimes that means like you don't need to change You don't need to grow. I'm not saying that. I'm saying you can't love yourself if you're not being yourself

And so just be yourself. You're awesome the way you are. Yes If you could actually give yourself that gift not just Nikki, but everybody your growth will accelerate It won't be so freaking painful to grow all the time where you're moving out of misery to get there life doesn't have to be that way Yeah, I don't think you're screwed up And I think there's a million things about you and I'm glad we just did this in front of millions of people But I want to say that to you stop that please stop Yeah, I I don't know what I mean I hear this so often that I'm so hard on myself and I don't see it like I don't know what, I mean, I hear this so often that I'm so hard on myself and I don't see it.

Like I don't, it doesn't really register to me. I only believe it because I get told it so much that I'm hard on myself and I hear what you're saying and I, but the thing that I am getting better at it because I'm working feverishly to love myself. Oh my gosh. I want to so bad And I see it and I know how I I have before before and I see the benefits of gratitude and but it's something you said Or something I heard kind of is exactly with like what you said and I always go back to it is that I'm always waiting for my life to like Take off like I'm always waiting for like I feel like I'm on the tarmac.

And I'm like, once I do this, then my life, then I'll be in there. And it's like, no, this is your life. Like this is this like, there's no ramp up. This is the show, bitch. And so like and just knowing because I had like, I'm at I could have used you a week ago. I was a week ago Tuesday. I had taped Conan on a Monday and I always kill it on Conan. It's just like something I care about

so much. He's the reason I got into stand up in comedy in general. I love him more than any performer ever. And so when I go on his show, I take it very seriously and I prepare and I plan and it always goes off without a hitch. And I usually am like, great afterwards. I'm like, did everything I wanted to do, let it go. There's something about doing it over Zoom. The comedy, I didn't get the crowd, the roar of the crowd, and I felt like I bombed. And I just couldn't, I just left the meeting after we finished

and I just was like crying all day. My parents were like disturbed by how upset I was. And they're like, we heard you. It sounds like you, you know, they had their ear up against the door, listening to me with Conan in here. And they were like, you did great. I'm like, no, I missed this. I forgot this.

I didn't even set that up. Just could not, I mean, it was like just unwanted thoughts coming in of like, and I would be, I was on a run and I remember just going, God, because I would like scream into, and a guy mowing his lawn would be like, why is that girl just like screaming? Cause I would remember something else I forgot.

It was plagued by it. And then I don't know what happened, but I did just have what you said, which was like, that is, I did the best I could. Like that was meant, I was meant to show up that way. If I know I could have maybe worked a little bit harder, but you didn't. And that was meant. And now you can grow from that the next time.

But the beating myself up afterwards was brutal. And it almost makes me think like I can't handle doing this job anymore. Because if I always am just so mad at myself after every accomplishment I have, what is, what's, what is this worth? And you don't need to be, I'm 15 next year, and I'm you. And let me tell you something, sister, I know so many people like us, and you don't wanna get where I am,

because what you just said, actually, well, maybe it's kind of emotional, because this is your life, and you will get to a place like where I am, where I have had all kinds of like accomplishments, so to speak, right? And I go, man, I should have been kinder to myself all those years.

I should have been kinder. I should have enjoyed it more. Enjoyed it. And the reason we run these patterns in our life, everybody is it gets us something. We don't do anything because it doesn't provide something to you. You think it only provides you pain, but there's this other sick part of us that goes, I've always been this way, and look, I'm kind of producing some results. So if I let go of that, beat

myself up thing. If I let go of this anxiety thing, if I let go of that whole like I suck thing, then I won't have my driver, my hunger anymore. So I, you hold on to that pattern. Yes. And the truth is that I give this analogy of my wife, who's, who I met when we were really little, like, five years old. And so I've known her a long time, and she's crazy and weird, and all that stuff. And it's what makes it interesting, right?

But what, she has this very weird thing she started to do, like a year ago, which is when she eats pleasurable food, she, like, moans, like orgasmically, like disgusting. It's very weird, but like she's being, mm-hmm. And she's hot. So when she does it around the kids, I'm like, you're creeping the kids out, right? I'm like, she does it.

I'm like, doing it again, I'm like, yeah. So we're out for my birthday. We're at a restaurant. We walk in. These two dudes are already checking her out. No, she's check outable. And I'm like, I'll give them one look. If they look at her twice, I'm at time, there going to be an issue here, right? So, you know,

sitting next to her. And I'm like, great, these poor guys, and sure enough for food comes, and she's, oh, my, his heads are going to blow off, right? And I'm like, babe, it's at least on my birthday, like, stop. She's like, am I doing it? I'm sorry and I'm like I go Why are you doing like and she says it just tastes so good and chose the more I enjoy it the more I want another bite and I went oh Wow, that was good and I'm always thinking about my material right like you are And I went that's really true The truth in life is, is that just because you

enjoy something, you're not going to lose your hunger. In fact, your brain gets a dopamine hit, your brain gets a dopamine hit and goes, I want to do it again. I want to do it again. I want to do it again. But if you keep cheating yourself from the dopamine hit, from the happiness after you walk off stage, you will end up where you're almost at now where you're like, I'm burped out. I don't want to do this anymore. Yes. I need to start growling and moaning when the crowd is cheering and enjoy it. That's really, I love it. First of all, I love to see how you develop material in a very similar way to stand-ups of like, that was interesting what you just said. It was kind of quippy. And it really makes a lot of sense. Like that was a beautiful moment to take it. I instantly got where you're, that's, it's,

it's so true because I, I need to start enjoying it. I really do. And, and I think this quarantine is actually forced me to, to reset. I'm so grateful for it because I do, I want to enjoy all of these things because you're right. If I keep robbing myself of just the sense of accomplishment that once made me wanna even do this in the first place, I mean, the first time I went on stage, I was like, the laughter and the clapping, it just made me feel this high. And I don't even let that end anymore.

I can't, no wonder I wanted my life, wanted something to take it away. No wonder I conjured a global pandemic. You did, you probably created it before. So listen, I love that. I got, I want to say something to you that, guys, that Nikki's just rare that she's telling you the truth, but just so you know, about everybody that I talk to

that's producing big time results, struggles with these same things. And so do many of you. And it's normal and it's okay, but you don't need to judge yourself about it. It doesn't make you weak or weird or strange or less than. And if you'll just stop doing that and just accept that you're great in this moment and you'll get better in the next one, they'll give you some peace. It will give you some peace. I, something my therapist said that is exactly what you're saying is when I catch myself with

that, that the first thought, my first instinct is to just shit on myself and deboling myself instead of going, instead of changing the thought, if I look in the mirror and I go, ugh, instead of going, no, you're beautiful and like lying to myself because clearly that's not where I'm going to really, I can't really get there and believe that. You just go, huh, I just said that I, I just looked in the mirror and said, uh, that's interesting. And you just start clocking when you do it. And then you can start to notice, don't judge it because that's already, it's going to make you beat yourself up more. I've just been noticing more the self talk, the negative self talk.

And just being like, huh, and, and there's something else about just someone recently said to me, some therapist, I talk to, was that your first thought is out of your first instinctual thought is always negative. Is fight, fight or flight is always like anxious and negative. And maybe that thought isn't real, isn't truthful. Maybe always just skip the first thought because I tend the first thought, thought tends to be extremely mean. I'm like no, what you're doing is really powerful Everybody just observing your own thought it losing some of its power over you and then the other thing too It's just so y'all know you'll notice you have more of them earlier in the day And so a lot of times it's hard to get out of bed in the morning for some people and again

That's also normal. It's the time of the most people that they suffer the greatest amount of depression is upon awakening. It's in that mode of fight or flight exactly what you just said. So I'm gonna tell you something like I just interviewed one of the funniest human beings on earth and we have one of the most serious damn conversation. I know I when you were setting me up to be funny. I was like I don't know that I'm gonna be I mean I'm in a different, but I can switch between both. I think it, I think it, like, I think if you ask me what I was really good at, it's being able to be funny, obviously, in right jokes. I'm like, I just have a knack for that, but I really, I'm not scared to get away from

jokes either and to try to talk about real stuff. I'm gonna give you an assumption about you and I know that we'll become one of these right now. Here's an assumption I have about you. I bet you're an amazing friend. I bet that you're unusually good friend because people that are really hard on themselves are usually unusually kind to other people.

And so many of you that are a lot like Nicky or a lot like myself, get yourself some credit. I bet you're unbelievably kind to other people. And so many of you that are a lot like Nicky or a lot like myself, get yourself some credit, I bet you're unbelievably kind to everybody else. And if you could extend yourself the gift of like 20% of the kind of people, you'll be a lot happier. And these sort of people I don't like, it's just bizarre, you know, like I- It's not a bad thing.

It's not out of fakeness, I just said like, you know, I just done out of sort of, it is true. It's so bizarre. It's such a fatal, such a human flaw that you can't be as nice to yourself or to your family as you are the stranger. It's true, but in a, by the way, we do it on families too.

It's not fatal though, just so everybody can. Right, right, right. And the other way, as much as I just said that, we're gonna do one more question, but if you get a chance, and I just said she to do one more question. But if you get a chance, even I just said she's so nice to other people, if you get a chance to watch this woman in some of these rows like the alleyway.

Oh, I know. That's so funny. That's so funny. That you said I was nice to get friends. It's fun. Now, by the way, this is adult comedy. Everybody's going to tell you. Okay. But like, like very adult, your 10-year-old should not go, I think it's okay to say,

you can think you're to group me. We don't want the 10-year-old to go watch your stand-up special right now. Do we not? No, not banging. But I think the 10-year-old should not go, I think it's okay to say, I think you're to group me. We don't want the 10-year-old to go watch your stand-up special right now, do we not? No, not banging, but I think the 10-year-old could watch a roast and sneak it and not understand most of the things. But yeah, my stand-up special, if girls are curious about sex and want to know what it's like to be an adult woman, I think that's okay for them to watch early,

like 13, 14, once they're starting to, I just arm women with an education and what, what's, because it's all built under the guys of like, I had no idea about sex. I was so scared of it and here's what I found that it is. And it's, cry, fall on the floor, some of it funny. And by the way, and I'm a dude and I'm telling you, it's hilarious, but I've never watched my wife laugh like that.

Oh, that's what I hear a lot of. That's so nice. You really never, I mean, never. All right, last thing, we've talked about all these things that you need to improve and grow on. You finally admitted like one little thing that you're good at. I have loved today.

Me too. And like, just so you know, when it comes out, which be very soon, you've helped a lot of people. Just hope you feel good about it. Thank, you've helped a lot of people. Just, I hope you feel good about it. Thank you. You've helped a lot of people. I want everybody to go follow Nikki first before I ask her the last question.

I hate when people stick to the end of no one's there. So where do you want them to go follow you? What's the best place to find you? Yeah, you can find me at Nikki Glazer on Instagram and Twitter, but Instagram, I'm mainly, that's like where I'm most active, and then Nikki Glazer.com, I'm on tour, everything's rescheduled, but there are tour dates up

that I hope are happening. And I have a podcast that I do daily, that's just for a temporary time, but subscribe to that and I will, I'm gonna have more news coming soon. But if you enjoyed me on this, you'll definitely enjoy my podcast. It's every day and it's like just 20 minute solo episodes where sometimes I call friends, but

I just talk about all this stuff and kind of like it's like a diary entry. So it's called you. It's so good. You guys in the flow of it is awesome. And I'm a dick. Thank you. Thank you. I know so much about you. So I know when people, that's why I say when people listen, I'm like, I don't tell me you listen if we ever meet because I can't, like you saying that you listen, I'm like, oh no, what do you know? And I say, I say stuff on that thing. Like you don't meet strangers a lot. Like if they followed your stuff,

you are not a stranger to them. Like I feel like I know a lot of shit about you. You do, you know more about me than my family or some of my friends. I mean, I really get intimate on those podcasts. I just love podcasting. I feel like such an intimate connection to my listeners. And I just, I just feel such an intimate connection to the podcast I listened to. So I understand like what it means and what I want to offer people who listen because I, because I enjoy

it so much when people are just authentic and like, you're like, what, this is wild what they're telling me. It's just so that's what I try to to give them super gifted you guys and give the experience didn't work out. She's gifted and talented. All right, you are successful. Thank you. And if you had a chance to sit down, someone ran into you to Starbucks and said, Nikki, can I have like five minutes?

I have a dream. I want to build a business or I want to, you know, begin to the entertainment industry or whatever. I want to go get my master's degree and I don't know where to begin to make my dream come true. You've made many of your dreams come true, right? Many of them. Yeah. What would your advice be to somebody who had a dream in their life, whether they're 22 years old, 12 years old or 52 years old?

What would you say to them? Quit drinking. That, honestly, if you are someone who needs gets hungover a lot, and you've like, get that out of your life, get anything that's like disabling you unnecessarily out of your life, because I do think my career went to the next level

when I quit having hangovers. But in general, it comes back to what we were talking about before. I always tell this to new comics. They always want to know, and this isn't just for comics, but this is truly the ticket, I think, is like work hard, obviously, but be cool to be around. Be, be, have, be cool enough that people that are more successful than you want you around, when the comic comes to town,

as the comic who comes down, offer to find me good vegan restaurants, don't be annoying, but just be like, offer to drive me around if I need a ride. Just be nice and cool and not annoying yet. And people will bring you around, people will want to help you.

I'm artists are lonely, we're lonely. And so when we find someone who's cool, who respects us and wants what we have, but isn't like too grabby and is just a chill person to be around, God, we want that person in our corner. And then we bring you to, that's how I got ahead, that people thought I was cool to hang out with and brought me on the road.

I wouldn't have gotten those opportunities if I was not fun to be around, no matter how funny I was, I was a good hang. So work on that and also squeaky wheel. My dad always taught me, just be, remind people you're around. Don't convince yourself that someone's going to ask you to do something or someone's going to think of you for a job. I give jobs all the time and I don't think of people even, you know, it'll happen months

later. I'll be like, oh, he would have been been great for that job but I haven't heard from him for months but the guys who are constantly like if you have any work I love to do like it's and it's not annoying it as long as you're not always being like do you didn't write back to me and like I just squeaky wheel but a not an obious squeak, like a pleasant squeak is very important. Those are the two things. I love that. And be pleasant. You just described, I didn't get you any vegan food or anything like that, but that's

exactly how I got Nikki here today. Yeah. I am, didn't hear back and I went to somebody else, I went to Heather Moddingham and I said, look, I need to meet her. Do it now. And I'll treat you. I'll get you someone so you get me her. That's awesome. No, it's that my life, I'm a squeaky wheel. So yeah, you are. But that's I wouldn't I get too many requests to do podcasts. And I just at some if they

coming on a day where I'm like not in the mood or I'm overbooked, I just like can't even look at it. I won't even write back. I'll just like I can't deal with it. But then someone writes to me is like I vouch for this guy at it. I won't even write back. I'll just like, I can't deal with it. But then someone writes to me and is like, I vouch for this guy, go, and I was like, oh yeah, of course, I didn't even give it a shot. But yeah, you gotta be squeaky. I'm squeaky all the time. I really do. I practice what I preach, even to this day

with the success I've had. I'm still hitting up people. Me too. I'm gonna get on a call with Whitney Cummings right now because I'm like making a decision and I have the ability to make this decision on my own, but she's someone who has had more experience in this field. And we're not really that great. We're friendly, but I just texted her today, like, do you have 10 minutes to give me some

career advice? And she's like, yeah, lady. And so that's what I'm gonna do. And it's kind of uncomfortable, but okay, you know, like she hasn't answered that I wouldn't have. What was that? I'm on the show. So you guys listen, I don't care who you are. We have a list of people that want to be on the show, but I wanted Nikki and I got

squeaky to get here. So that was great. Thank you. I loved today. I did too. Today was a long day and it was on my counter. I was looking forward to it and like I just really enjoyed it. And you helped so many people.

So I just want to say thank you for being here. Thank you. No, it helps me so much. I don't think I need to go to I can. I can. Yeah, I don't need to go to therapy this week. I feel like I could skip a session here for you. I mean, that would be a plan to know.

Yeah, I know we're friends now. It's so cool. Thanks for having me. All right. Hey guys, remember this. I run the max out be planned to not be here. Yeah, I know. We're friends now. It's so cool. Thanks for having me. All right. Hey, guys. Remember this. I run the max out two-minute drill every single day on Instagram. So when I make a post, you got two minutes. You make a comment. You can win. If you don't make a comment in the first two minutes, reply to other people's comments, or make a comment every single day on all my posts. And when you do that, you can want to write on my jet,

take it to see me speak, get coached by me, max out gear, all kinds of cool stuff. So engage with me on social media and go follow Nikki as well, okay? God bless you guys, max out. you