THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Forget About Currency - with Jenna Kutcher

Episode Date: August 13, 2019

You can have ALL the money in the world but TIME is your most valuable asset. Trusting in the PLAN doesn’t mean that the plan is always going to be easy. Sometimes you have to weather the storm and have FAITH that it’s all happening FOR you and not TO you.   In this interview, we touch on topics that have never been discussed before on this show and we dive deep into the darkness that Jenna encountered with her devastating struggle with multiple miscarriages. Jenna shares the super-power she used in building her brand and business and how all of it came from the heart. She gets real on the dynamic of her marriage and how she and Drew keep it all together. Many of us are so FOCUSED on taking care of others, but when you are on an airplane the flight attendant always says “if there is a loss in cabin pressure, put on YOUR oxygen mask before helping someone else.” This is because if you don’t take care of yourself FIRST, you cannot help anyone else. You can’t pour from an empty cup! Typically our own worst enemy is our inner dialogue. This episode will teach you how to SHIFT this dialogue and make a choice every day to EMBODY these words not just speak them. We both shed a couple of tears in this interview. It’s a POWERFUL and MOVING conversation that we all can gain a lot from.  

This is the Edmire Show. Welcome back to Max Out everybody, I'm Ed Mylett. My guest today is an educator, a photographer, a blogger. She's the host of the unbelievably popular gold digger podcast. She's a mother and a wife, but even beyond that, my favorite thing, she's a self-proclaimed mac and cheese lover. You didn't know I knew. So this is Jenna Kutcher, everybody.

Thanks for being here. Thank you. I'm so excited. I am too. We've had a great day already today, everyone, and I'm really excited about this because I have a legitimate, successful, young, female entrepreneur here today to discuss some strategies with you all. You've just been successful at so many things.

I think you're remarkable. Well, thank you. I'm just showing up doing the best I can. So, if that's working, it's working. It's working. Yeah. Start it out with a... with getting into business for you, start it out with like you buy a camera on Craigslist

or something, right? Is that how all of this starts? Every bit of it. So take us through that a little bit. So I went to school for business, and I kind of, I had this idea of success. So to me, success was a business suit, high heels, corner office.

And I used to tell people, gosh someday, suit, high heels, corner office. And I used to tell people, gosh, someday I'm going to have this corner office and my husband's not going to work and I'll come home and I'll kick off my high heels and I'll have dinner ready, which is so weird because it's not really like a common female vision. And so I get into corporate world and I hated it. And I was so disappointed that I hated it because where I'm from, you get a salary and benefits, like you've made it.

Like that is making it. And I felt disappointed where I was like, I thought it would be better than this. And I think that follows you through everything. But at the time, I was planning my wedding with my college sweetheart Drew, who's my husband, and I have always just loved pictures. Like pictures to me, it just like just brings you right back. And so I was like,

I'm gonna buy this $300 camera and I'm gonna take pictures while we plan our wedding and long story short. I just was passionate again and I feel like the corporate world sucked so much from me. And it wasn't a bad company or a bad, it was, it was just not for me. I didn't like climbing a ladder that I didn't want to climb. I didn't want people telling me what the next level was if I didn't want it. And I think I saw people glorifying busy and that was it. And so it all started from a camera.

Amazing. And that would have like And so it all started from a camera. Amazing. And that went into wedding photography and all that. One thing I noticed about your Instagram page, and everybody you should check out, what is your Instagram, by the way? It's Jenna Kutcher. OK, it's easy. And you should check it out because for men and women,

particularly women, it's beautifully done. Thank you. It looks beautiful when you look at it. Is that conscious on your partner? Oh, so conscious. And from what sense? So branding to me has always been just so fascinating. Yeah.

I mean, I analyzed logos and typefaces and colors. And like, if I had any other job, like even I was walking in your house and I'm like, that arched window. Yeah, you do. You probably walked by that a million times a day and never pay attention to it. And I pay attention to all of that.

And so being a photographer, the like editorial side, if things to me is so important. And I wanna draw people in because it's pretty, but I want them to stay because I'm talking about something. So for me, I'm analyzing all these little details. I was like, I wanna give Ed feedback on his brand. You should.

Because to me, you can attract and repel, and a lot of times we just do things because that's how we've always done them. But for me, everything is intentional. What would you give me feedback on? Oh, you wanna know. Oh, why not? Let's see what's everybody here, and I wanna hear it.

So when I look up Ed Mylet online, and I understand that it's part of the vision and the messaging is you're selling a lifestyle. But you know what's so different is like you should be selling your heart. Thank you. And the way that you show up, the reason why you have the following you do, the listeners you do is because of your heart. And so I think it gets lost in the lifestyle.

And for so many people, if I watch a demo reel and there's your jet in this home and all that, I can't relate. and there's your jet in this home and all that I can't relate. I still can't relate to this day. I mean we live in this little suburbia place in a home that we're so blessed to own but but a lot of people that follow you, they just want to make another thousand dollars. They just want 10 hours back with their children and so a lot of times when you level up and I'm feeling this right now, I'm feeling this in my life is like,

you feel this need for importance and more and showing these things. I mean, I'm wearing like target today. You know, I'm like, oh gosh, like is Ed's wife gonna have designer, which she doesn't? No. But you feel this like next thing

and what I've realized and I think what the secret is and we'll talk about this I'm sure is is that we need to paint the possibility that our people can understand Wow You know, and so we're painting the possibility that our peers get there there Yeah, and so sometimes it's like we have to go backwards and I really felt that a lot when I went from six figures to seven figures Yeah, so you, by the way, I want to first thank you for that. You're the second person I told you I'm maybe going to be with an agent now,

and identical feedback. She goes, I was surprised when I met you. You're like nothing like your brand, and I went, well then that's a problem with my brand. So I think probably I had an initial brand in the beginning, and then I've made all this content. And I just sort of assume everybody knows that's who I am. And I've not sort of altered the jet. Yeah.

How muscle-think. I'll help you, I love this. So thank you for that. And that is really critical because you've done that. This one has become a self-made millionaire. But I would say self-made because I've met Drew. He's obviously a huge part of this. He's right upstairs with Kristianiana now and Conley right now.

You call Coco, right? Your baby. We got so much, there's so much I want to get into about you. I think you're remarkable because, and I pride myself on this too, where you're unique is the breadth of your content. Jenna's content goes everywhere from, how to start a business for $5,000,

to how to make your Instagram page go right to mother stuff to lifestyle. I mean, it's amazing and it's so good. Like your content is so good. So I want to give the gift to people today of a little bit of it. So you go from zero to a million dollars a year plus an income on all this stuff. What, how'd you do this? I mean, that's a broad question. But how did you do this? I mean, that's a broad question, but how did you become you?

Most people listening to this would like to grow their following and influence somehow. How'd you do it and what would you tell them to start with in doing it? So my first thing is, is if you have a follower, you have influence. So I hate the term influencer. When anyone uses it, I'm like,

we are all influencers. My gosh, if you're waiting to start your message, so you've 10,000 followers, your message should be started now. Somebody the other day scrolled all the way back to the beginning of my feed. Yeah. It is hilarious. But I've never deleted a thing because I want people to see the transformation, but I also want them to see that eight years ago, I was talking about the same things I'm talking about today. How this all happened is because, and I think that you can relate to this is I,

I put it all out there. I mean, I talk about cellulite, I talk about wrinkles, I mean, I talk about this stuff because we're all thinking it. And I think it started as a coping mechanism because I was afraid that people would call me out for it. So if I say it first, it doesn't hurt as bad. Wow. If I say, look it, I see my cellulite there.

I see those extra pounds. You can't say that in herk. But what it's become is a true celebration. Like I feel better today in my skin, in my business, in my body, in my life, because now I own it and like it's me. I trust that, but I think over the years I've just shared it all.

Was this intentional? Because you have this ability to monetize on your business and I don't feel like you're monetizing. So I know this is sort of an inside baseball type thing here but is that intentional of you? Did you start out? I'm on Instagram. I'm going to profit from this or it started out in this mode and it's just sort of over time turned into a business that you're running. So I heard two years ago that the average millionaire has seven revenue streams and I made eight. It was every piece of my world is so intentional, but I never approached things because of that.

What I think my gift is is that if I care about something enough to sell it to someone, I'm going to tell it like I would tell a friend. The way that I write, the way that I share emails, the way that I pitch anything to is, who really needs this? How do I communicate that? Because I'm doing a disservice if I'm not actually getting through.

I'll jump on Instagram live and put on my makeup and talk to people about something I'm selling, but it's because I care like I if this is for you I don't want you to miss this I genuinely care about that and so yeah, I mean it's all intentional But not every post is for every person not every selling point is to make a sale on every one It's just to make sure that I hit the right people with the right lesson How does the average person watching this, who says, you know what, like, I'm at my job right now.

I'm in this corporate thing. This sounds cool. Yeah. You know, like, okay, you control your time now. You've made seven figures, got a great husband, a great baby. Yeah. And they're like, I have no idea what the heck I would do though.

Yeah. How do I start a business, you know? And that's like, that's no idea what the heck I would do though. You know, how do I start a business? You know, and that's like, that's a question I don't ask enough on the show of somebody and you are perfect for this. What would you say to someone? I was like, I wanna get out of this. The corporate ladder I'm climbing,

no matter how high I get, it's up against someone else's building. I get to the top, someone else owns the building, right? That's the problem. That's not a challenge. If you're in the world and you want to be there and you're loving it, wonderful. But for many of you, you're like, I'd like to get off this ladder eventually. What would you say?

So everyone has a superpower. Most of us are too close to our geniuses to recognize it's that. So when you can get people to speak into your life and to share those genius spots, to remind you what you're good at, what you're passionate about, what you've experienced, I just shared with some of my students the other day, I said, if I were starting over, if I were that girl back in that window, windowless office, what kind of things were happening in my life? I was training for a marathon, I was getting married. I could teach people

about the things I was learning about. So when you think about life, so much of it is either things that we're learning or experiences we've had. And we've gone through something that we've cared enough about to learn more. I went through miscarriage. I had to go gloon free. I mean, there's like a million things I could impact the world with. But to me now, I either learned it out of necessity or passion, but I never recognized that it's a gift, that it could help somebody. And I always say this, that time for me is my currency.

I'm done with money. Like I have more money than I ever thought was possible. I don't want for anything, but time is what I want for. So if I could save somebody time, that's where I'm showing up. So what could anyone do today that could save someone else's time or heartache or give them joy? You could teach someone how to macrame,

you could teach someone how to cook freezer meals, you could teach someone how to manage your time better. Like I think the problem with the business world these days is everyone feels like they have to come to the table with something that will make someone else money. So do I. But they're not realizing that the gift of time should be the selling point on everything.

Boy, no one's ever said that, Jen, on here. You're 100% right about that. Yeah. I also think that they think I have had, I should have already had to make millions monetizing this for it to have value. You got to be one step ahead. One step ahead. I think one of the biggest learning moments in this for me was when you're going through our fertility struggle and I was just sharing what was happening as it was happening and it was looking back now.

Like it was like a bleeding wound. It wasn't a scar. Like I was showing up in like the mess. But then I started to see like, you know, I'm doing all this research and I'm working with doctors and I'm trying to figure this all out. And if I can just start sharing it, it could change the world. And I just think that there are so many things that that life has brought us that have let us to learn or to ingest or to become or to get better at. And we just think, oh, I don't know, everyone knows this.

Right. No, everyone doesn't know it. And you're so right. So I look at everything as how can I save people time? Because to me time is money, but time is like life. You know, it's funny. When. You know, it's funny. When you say that, it's funny. I think that that's kind of what I do.

Like my content typically is saving someone the time of going through all the experiences I've had to go through to acquire whatever knowledge on a topic that I, that's really good. All right, some pinpointed stuff here. And then I want to talk about if you would some stuff that's more specific for women. And all the men, you need to listen into this part when we get there.

But before we get there just for a second, let's give them a couple tactical things. I want to grow my social media. Yeah. I want to grow my social media period. That's my objective I'm listening. I'm going to go through more of them just that in a second everybody. One or two things because you're really good at this. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Show your face. Okay. I did an experiment where I committed to showing my face for 30 days in a row on my feed. Okay. My engagement doubled. Hmm. My group. No, my engagement tripled. My growth doubled in one month. Wow. Because a lot of times we're consumed with showing up perfect and pretty and all these things.

People don't know whose voice they're listening to anymore. People don't know why I should care. And here's the thing. I don't think that I'm the most stunning woman in the world. I got so much confidence by showing up and committing to, you know, here I am today. Here's a picture of me doing life. I got memories that now looking back,

and I'm like, dang, look at it, like we were eating pizza, and like, what a great day. But I also got the chance to recognize that I matter. And I think that that connection is so often lost on social media. And so the number one thing, I challenge everybody watching and listening, go through your feed and look at the post I have the most engagement.

And I will bet you your face is in them because people care about you. Whoa. 100% right. Even a goofy face like mine, when my face is in it, it gets more engagement. That's brilliant. OK, next thing.

Yeah. Here we go. I'm thinking of starting a podcast or a blog. A, should I? Who should? And if I do either of those, how do I get anybody to see it? Yeah. That's a toughy. Yeah. I mean, we do both in my business. I think they're both, they're blogging is not dead. Let me just put that out there. But I think what we have to look at is what is your lowest barrier to entry. What excites you? What are you going to actually commit to? Because the problem isn't the platform. The problem is you keeping a promise to yourself. And so I think a lot of times people go so gong-go and they're like, I'm going to send out one email a week and I'm going to blog three times. And

then all of a sudden, two weeks in, you're either burnt out or you're like, this is way harder than I thought. So don't worry about what the method is. Pick the platform that you're actually going to follow through on. You can expand, you can grow, you can evolve, you can change. But I think what's so important is that you start sharing your message. Even if it just starts in, here's my challenge

that I do every day. This is good. Is I challenge myself to share one minute of my day every day on Instagram stories. Whatever that minute is, if it's me with the baby, if it's me talking to the camera, just one minute. Let people in for one minute. You're going to get more comfortable. But it's not about the platform, it's about the promise.

And it's mostly about the promise you keep to yourself that you have a story worth sharing, that it's valid, and that you can actually keep up with something. Okay, so the Goldigar podcast, I want to talk about it. What's made that the success that it's been? Because it's one of the most popular podcasts in the world. Why? Well, let me let you in on an insider's secret. I record that in a closet.

Like an actual closet with boxes, my computer is propped up on a stroller box. And you can't really get into the door because there's stuff there. I mean, it is a small closet. This is not a walking closet, okay? That's incredible. The podcast is what it is because of that.

Because I never lost where I started. I mean, I started that podcast recording in my car. And to this day, I record in a closet so that I can be close to my baby. And if she needs me, I'm right there. And so that is like the core of it. And I choked with you today. I said, we were driving over here.

I said, babe, you think we should get the Uber black? And he goes, I don't know, much more it is a cost at a hundred dollars You know we've never lost that piece of ourselves. It's so everything is so humble about what we do I record on a hundred dollar microphone. I love this. It's not about the method. It's about the message Wow and so I don't want a fancy studio and I don't want a producer and I don't want any of that because that wasn't the beginning. And so the beginning of it was just to show up with the stuff I wish I would have had. And that's what it is to this day.

The top podcast in the world out of your closet. It's awesome. It's awesome because I think everyone's thinking they have to have all of these conditions. Oh, yeah. You have to have an ocean in the background. You have to have all those things. And I started my podcast. Now it's changed, but I started my podcast on a hundred hour mic. And in my clause, I started my podcast on a hundred hour mic in my office and I just

started talking. And the first two I did, I didn't even record. I forgot to record. Right? So like I did it. That was so good. And the first two I did, I didn't even record. I forgot to record, right? So like I- I didn't do that, that was so good. And the next two weren't as good, you know, you try to do it in a second time.

But same exact way, I just started talking. I'm like, I didn't even have a podcast once, you know, in the very beginning. So we're gonna shift here a little bit because I don't ever ask things that are sort of gender specific. Yeah. But I want to.

Yeah. Because I think that's where you get deeper answers. So give this massive army of women that follow you. What is the, what are the things right now that you get asked the most? Like what's, what are women struggling with the most as it relates to their life becoming an entrepreneur? Like there's lots of women's, women's, there's lots of women watching and listening right now.

What are they saying to you? This is what's on my mind all the time. It's what's bothering me. What is it? I think right now my heart is so much in the motherhood and career mix. And I think that that is such a hard place to be, you know, the whole idea of balance, it just doesn't exist.

It's not a thing, nothing will ever be in balance and learning that and learning it every single day is something. But I feel like women are told that you can't do both. And you can't do both well. And I have to tell you, I think I'm doing them both well. I think I'm an awesome mom and I'm having the biggest year of business ever and I've only worked a couple months part time. And I think what it is is it's presence and it's creating space for presence. So when I'm with my daughter I'm'm with her. And when I'm working, I'm working

and trust me, I think it's been the hardest trying to figure out. I mean, recording in a closet tells you, like, it's freaking hard to figure out what that looks like. But I think there's this message that you're less than either way. And I had a lot of fears going into becoming a mom. Even with our three year struggle, I thought, is something wrong with me? Am I meant to do this because I was worried that I'd be held back. I was worried about sharing my husband.

I was worried about so much. And I just, I want women to know that you can do both. And there's nothing is going to be just this fine line of perfection. It's going to be messy, but it's so worth it. I think the other message is just that she's already doing it. Women have this competitiveness that we're taught to compete with women from an early age.

I think, I think if you asked a woman, this is weird. But if you asked a woman, does she check out men or women, we look at women to measure ourselves. Whether it's the size of our body, their growth, or anything, we're always measuring ourselves up. And I think so many women have this fear that she's already doing it. Why should I teach Instagram when Jenna cutters out there teaching it? They don't realize that they know something or that they can do it in a different way. It's scarcity versus abundance, I think.

Do you think that's why there's so few women in the Instagram personal development, the life strategy space? Is that a real one? Because it's already been done. And they think she does it better than I could do it anyways. Well, because men don't think that way at all.

Never. It's a good point. And I just feel like so many women, they don't feel like they can compete so they just don't do it. Wow. I would not know that. Yeah. You talked about your, that's really interesting because I've wondered, you're just making me think. Yeah.

Now I've wondered why that is that so few people are even in this space or other spaces. I also think that too, women don't like playing in this arena is hard. And I think I felt it so much more recently with just a lot of growth and trying new things and messing up and being in a tender season. And you see the way that women treat other women sometimes, and it's like, am I gonna go into that arena? Bryna Brown talks about it. Like, unless you're next to me, like, bloodied from the battle,

you can't have an opinion. And I, to this day, opinions matter to me. Yeah. Criticism matters to me. There's a difference between criticism and feedback, but most women don't even want to put them in a place to get that. You're right. I will tell you that one thing, and this isn't gender specific, but I don't mean to be gender specific when I say it, but I will tell you that the women that have

been on my show or that are friends of mine that have any sort of social media influence, I will say that the criticism affects them much more deeply than it does them in. It does. It does. From Fallon Taylor and I had discussed it, Christine Simmons and I have discussed it, Rachel and I have discussed it. You're you're bringing it up now. That's that's that's surprised me. The criticism is is is affects them more deeply. You talked about the three year. I hope you're willing to talk about this three year struggle. Yeah. What I love about you is like you share everything. Yeah. And one

of the things that's sort of a secret often that's not talked about really anywhere is when a woman has a miscarriage. And I know you're blessed now, but you had two miscarriages, right? Can you talk about what that was like to go through that, to go through it even a little bit publicly as well? Yeah.

Because there's millions of women that have gone through this themselves. And husbands don't know what to do. You got it. Yeah, so when we, so it took us three years to have our baby. And I think it's been so hard for me to cross over. Because so much of my audience is still in that season.

And it's been really, like, I'm just so empathetic to what that feels like, where it's like, I mean, it just holds me back sometimes of like sharing my joy, because I'm like, I know where you are in the sucks. So, we shared so much about what was going on. And I think miscarriages are lost, I'm like any other lost because it's a loss of a dream,

and it's a loss of like a possibility. And it also steals your joy for the future. So it's like, you can't ever go through pregnancy again with confidence. You know, like you never get that like positive pregnancy test again and think it's happening. And that is what like I hate the most about it is because it just robs you from future joy.

And there really isn't a lot of losses like that, because the loss usually is final, but miscarriage carries on. And so when we went through that, and when we started sharing about it, it was also really hard to publicly go through it, because so many people were sharing their stories of life with me.

And it's like, when you're at the bottom and more people are meeting you there, it was hard because it's like you want to be there and you want to say things that will help. But like, I think all you can say is, I'm really sorry this sucks because that's what it is. Was there any bizarre, we're taking the most extreme example on earth right here, but was there a bizarre blessing in there? Meaning there were. So much.

When I had my first miscarriage, this is something we don't talk about, but when I had my first miscarriage, I did not have a single person on my team. I was a solo pre- through and through. And I had had this one woman who works for me still. She'd reach out to me three different times saying, I'm a VA, I can help. You know, you're really successful as a photographer. And I said, I got this. I got this. I don't need help. And I was all of a sudden crippled with grief

for the first time in my life. And I realized if I stop, money stops, business stops, it's all gone. And I realized I was trading my time for money. Now that realization took three years, but when I look back, if I would have had that first child, I have a necklace on right now, I was two angel wings in a sea. If I would have had that first child, I would have never grown. To this, because then the second time we got pregnant, I was like, what do we want our lives to look like? The first pregnancy, I was trading time for money,

I was shooting 30 weddings a year, my husband sold wine, so he was stocking shelves nine to five. And I realized, if we have this baby, like we're not gonna be able to be there. After our second loss, I just buried myself into work. I was so mad at God, I was so mad. I was like, I did the work.

I showed up, I helped others. I answered your call, I did this. I already went through this. What, I can see the purpose in the first one and I couldn't see purpose in the first one and I couldn't see it in the second one. I was just like, what, what did I do wrong? And then I was just like, is this gonna keep happening?

Like, is this it? It's not, it wasn't it, but it felt like it. It was like, come on God, what did I do? And then the third pregnancy happened. It was like, is it gonna happen? You know, like, I don't know, it's just, so when you can show up in those shitty seasons, sorry. There's no other way, there's no other word for that, but when you can show up in those, it brought on so much support, because people wanted it for us. You know? It's like when you can see your own story being reflected in someone else's,

all of a sudden you feel like I'm not alone. I think our world just means that, you know? I think the world needs you. Thanks. And uh, this you telling that. Yeah? It's obviously still.

It's, you never get over it's you never get over it You never get over grief, you know how did it affect you and Drew? Oh I mean it brought us closer. Thank God But we handled like for me it was such a physical thing of course and so I Talked a lot about body image because I hated my body after it happened So it's so interesting to me that I even have a platform about body image because I just I love my body Now I think my body is great But at the time I hated my body because it failed to do the one thing that I was made to do

But it was it wasn't that but that's how you feel. And so for Drew, it was like, he's grieving a loss of a child, but he's also grieving for me. So it was interesting. And we had to like communicate about it and know, like, should we be talking about this? Should we not? Should we like move on? Do we not? Like, what does this look like? And so it was just, it was a lot. And then when I was finally pregnant, that was a lot. And it was just really hard for me to like feel like, are we in the safe zone?

Is it anything safe? And as a parent, nothing is safe. You have a child, it's like you're never safe. And so that is like where the faith has to come in, is like, like there, I can look back now and see that there's always been another hand in all of this. But when you're in it, it's like you're in a dark building with a flashlight. And all you can see is immediately in front of you.

But it's like God turned the lights on, and now I can just see everything. I wish I could have seen it back then. You're magnified your faith then too? Oh yeah. I mean, how can you look at the world today and not believe that there's gotta be something more than this? Yeah. I mean, we are in the most magical place ever.

Right. And it's like, how could we not believe that there's someone that designed us when I look at my baby? She's taught me more about faith because I look at her and I'm like, you are fearfully and wonderfully and perfectly made. And when I complain about the way I look

or the way I show up, I'm telling God that he messed up on me. What if my baby looked at me and said, Mommy, you messed up on me? My little boy, that was so good. Wow. She has taught me more about faith because I just look at her and I think you are perfect.

You are loved. You are whole. You are enough. And I feel like God can put his hands on me and do that too. Yes. You're beautiful. You're awesome.

You're the best. No, because one of the things, you're actually making me, it's really weird. I'm just all cry. I don't really get like that too often. Just because I think those of you that have faith or want it, one of the most unbelievable things is we know how much we love our children

and I think that God can love us even more than that. It's such a powerful thing to hold onto in our life. But thank you for just being willing to share that. And for the man too that are listening to this, I think it's so important that we know that the women in our lives, whether it's our mothers, or our sisters, or our spouses, or our friends, they carry some pain with them that we're not aware

of all the time, and they carry it longer. I think, I will tell you that I think one thing on a miscarriage, Christiana and I miscarried as well, and she'll get emotional just like you do about that time. And frankly, as a man, it's not the same. It isn't. I'm emotional about the two children we have. Yep. And so, man, just know that pain and dirt is in a woman forever. And I think even the loss of loved ones I've watched in my own family feel tremendous loss when I've lost people. Not the same way as the women in my life have.

The length of it, and the duration of it, and the depth of it. So, man, just realize that. I really appreciate that. That's why I got emotional just listening to you. So, you're just magnificent. This is why this space, whatever it is, this, we get to talk to people space.

It's so important that you're not alone. You are beautiful. You are favored. There is a God. There's all this just wonderful stuff like out of six or seven million people who see this today or listen to it rather. If two people got something from it, what a magic thing we've done, right? So thank you so much.

And we have people that are here watching us raise in their hands, giving us the amen as well. So let's talk a little bit. It's difficult to move off of that, but I want to stay in the relationship space a little bit. I get asked a lot, I've met Drew, what a stud, what good-looking dude. And like just immediately both of you,

like there's just a goodness. You can just talk to Drew. You know what I mean? It's just an easy guy to be with. Fine, too, right? But I get the sense in your dynamic, you were more of the driver, is that fair to say? Absolutely.

And I am in my dynamic too. And I get asked a lot. This is a huge thing. People that are driving right now, that are the drivers, they're about to pull over and listen because they're like, this is the thing I always want to ask you when I get with people in business settings they ask me tactical business things. The one they really want to ask me is this one and like because they're like I don't

want to sell like a disloyal spouse or like I also don't want to reveal to you I'm not happy about something but here's the question you know what's coming what's it like and what's the dynamic like for you? When you're the driver and ambitious and want to contribute, want to see how great you can be and make a difference in the world and all that. And perhaps you're married to somebody who is, I don't want to call it, more easily happy or content with the status quo. And you're not content, so to speak.

I get asked this question more than any, because I think most people know in my dynamic I'm in a similar relationship, right? And my thoughts are hanging out. Thoughts, thoughts are upstairs right now with the baby. So how do you feel about that? What are your thoughts on that?

What would you say to somebody who says, look, I'm driving and I love my spouse, but they're just not driving with me on this to that extent. Or they don't want what I want. Well, this is it guys right here. So you must get this and you're experiencing it too. So we set really big boundaries in our life and work and marriage, everything. So Drew actually doesn't know a lot about what I do. And that's intentional. Because at the end of the day, I don't wanna talk about work, I wanna talk about life.

And so we have this thing where we'll sit down and we'll say, how is your day? And you get five minutes. Talk about work, whatever. It's done. Now we're in life. And we like when we go on dates, phones stay in the car. Like we are phones are charged on a different floor of our home. At night, they do not come in the bedroom. So for me, my struggle was I was like, don't you want something more with your life? Like how could like mowing the lawn bring you joy? And then I was like, don't you want something more with your life? Like how could like mowing the lawn bring you joy?

And then I was like, well, what's bringing me joy? How do we figure this out? And so a lot of times we'll poke fun at it. So I'll be like, oh, I just mowed my lawn because I was recording or writing an email funnel or things that fire me up. And we have to look at things in a way that supports each other. But for me, he has been such a big support,

where I'm like, you are behind all of this. But him being a stay-at-home dad, he's had to humble himself because people will be like, oh, and so what do you do? And it's like for him, I'm like, he has the best dad in the world. He buys groceries and makes sure I eat lunch and things like that. But for me, it's like honoring that contentiveness while also not letting it stall me.

And so it's like seeing that contentiness and trying to find that within myself in that moment, but also encouraging him to strive for more. What does that look like? And it's like this ebb and flow and this give and take and there's seasons of both for us. But I think a lot of it is so much about boundaries. He doesn't need to care about what I'm doing.

He's to care about me. And I think a lot of times we find our value in doing. And so when we can remove that from our relationship, that's when we actually feel value. Break through huge moment, last 15 seconds, you just said, big time, massive thing you just said, massive, one of the best things ever said here, ever, ever, ever, ever. And it was the end of the sense at the end of the answer. And here's what it is. I love this. So good. We get validation too often from what we're doing

as the achiever and it's magnificent that you can be with someone who loves you for your being. What a blessing and a gift. Like, wow, that's huge. Also, I must second the concept that sounds controversial, that your spouse doesn't need to know everything going on and what you do business-wise all day long. Yeah.

By completely agreeing to you. I don't need to make him care. He cares about me. Yes. You know? And that's what you let that go, when you don't come out with a laundry list of hears that I did today. And you say, here's what fired me up today.

Yes. Then you're inviting them to be excited with you. By the way, a long-term relationship, the person loves your being, not what you're doing. This is huge, huge. How empty would it be to be in a relationship for someone who only loves you for what you were doing? Now, in a perfect world, they love what you're doing

and you're being. But there are a lot of people. Exhausting. To be exhausting. And a lot of people in relationships just based on what you can do, just based on what you're doing and you're being. But there are a lot of people. It'd be exhausting and a lot of people in relationships just based on what you can do, just based on what you're doing, what you make, right? What you look like, right?

Instead of your being and so there's a blessing there as well. That's like such a great answer. So, I'm one of my favorite answers ever on a very difficult, nuanced topic because I know for a fact it's still an issue for you. It's an issue for you. It's an issue for me as well. And that word honoring is also beautiful as well.

Couple things about you that I'd like to ask you because I think women will relate to it and men. What are you insecure about now? So you've talked about having previous insecurities. I know, right now. Right now, the back. It's not I'm too much. But you're too much. So isn't this interesting? Yeah. You go from the not enough. Yeah. To the too much. I'm too powerful. I'm too unemotional. I'm too driven. Now that I

am pulling my seat up to the table with men and saying I'm here and I I know things and I I'm smart and I am brilliant and I'm smart and I am brilliant and I feel confident in saying all these things. Now I'm worried that I'm too much that women... Only a woman would think that, right? Yes, so women are taught that being strategic is being conniving and I'm amazing at strategy. Oh, I love strategy. Ooh, I love strategy. And I have been told that, you know, I'm too unemotional about business. Business is business.

I handle business unemotionally so that I can be emotional in my life. So when I make decisions about business, I am so unemotional because that's how I need to do it. But yeah, my greatest fear. I mean, someone just, a week ago told me like, I'm too much of a powerhouse. I'm too, I'm too out there. I'm too bold and it's like, so I can't be not enough. And I can't be too much. So where do you fall?

It's interesting. No, we're no men with them. Men don't think that. No. That's why I'm so glad you're here. Thank you. I know more and more people have said, please have more powerful female entrepreneurs.

I clearly always want to. But I also am careful of who I have my audience exposed to and let them influence them. It's why I researched you, I watched you for a long time. And then I found, and I think most of your followers are women, but I gotta tell you something, your content affects me. Like you're one of the podcasts I listen to

and I don't listen to very many. You're one of the blogs I read, and it's because of all of the different types of content. So even today, we've gone from Instagram to blogging, to podcasts, to miscarriages, to relationships, body image, and insecurity, right? So we've gone through a lot, and I just think your magnificent.

I really do, and I feel like there's so much with you that I wanna give like an open answer. And so if you had a message, this will be my last question. But if you had a message that you could give to people, and I think what everybody wants, they think they want a business and maybe they do. They think they want to be thinner or more muscular,

and maybe they do, they want a relationship, maybe they do. But what I think everybody on earth wants is they want to be happier. People just want to be happier. And I think more than ever, with all of the benefits of social media and access to information, access to people, we know more about medicine and diet and nutrition

and the brain and all these things. But I'm not so sure that there's not been a time ever in humanity, and that's why I think we're so needed. People are less happy. People are just less happy. If life is measured not on ocean from, by the way, if you live ocean from, it makes you happy, go get it, right? That's great.

But if life's measured on the difference you make, how much closer you get to God, if the other measurement is happiness, I feel like a lot of people think they could do better in that area. So, there's a hard question, but I'm just curious, someone said, I just want to be happier.

What would your answer be to them? Which is where I start? This is what I think. Talk to yourself the way you talk to your loved ones. It's that inner dialogue that is controlling us. And so many people, if the words that you were thinking about yourself today were to show up on these walls, would you be proud of them?

And I just think that, especially for women, but for anyone, what is that inner dialogue telling you? When you look in the mirror, when you think about the way your brain works, what is that self-talk? And I feel like it's so crazy to me now when I can look, okay, question. Have you ever done this? You look at a past picture of yourself and you remember the insecurity you're feeling when that picture is being taken.

It's not just women. Yes. And I look back at these photos and I'm like, if only I knew how beautiful I was. I'm beautiful right now and it's not just about being beautiful. Like, if only I recognized how happy I was. If only I saw that. If we could change the way that we talk to ourselves and instead of highlighting insecurities and all of that, and we just sat in that moment and said,

like, right now, I'm healthy. I am loved. I'm right now I'm healthy, I am loved, I'm worthy, I'm enough. And it's not about mantras, it's like just encompassing that. But I have had to change that dialogue in my head every single day. You don't love yourself all of a sudden and like it's smooth sailing, it's waking up and making that decision

and saying like I will be kind to myself. I will love myself the way I love my daughter. I will, you know, like, I will control that conversation today. And it just, man, like, I believe anything is possible for me. And I also believe that, like, I am in control of my destiny. And I believe that I am beautiful. And I believe that I have a gift to offer the world. And I believe it's a disservice for me to shy away from that. And I believe all that. Like I hope you can feel like I am here. I earned my seat at the table and I'm not going anywhere.

And so if I can continue to just say that, and believe it, and let other people see that when you do that, when I step into my power, I let other people see that when you do that when I step into my power I let other people do that. That's it. General, that's magnificent. By the way, that's it. That's for men and women. Yes. But as you were saying it, do you agree that women are women treat other people so well they don't care for themselves the same way. Selflessness thing. Yeah, I do. And we've had to learn that.

I mean, everyone says this, but I literally paid attention when I was on the plane yesterday. They said, put on your oxygen mask before helping others. Women are the last people to do this. We run around and take care of everyone else and we wear that with a badge of honor. Like our depletion means that we're doing it right and it's like no no no we're doing

it backwards. And so yeah I mean being a mom in like like literally keeping my child sustaining my child's life right now. If I don't take care of myself it all falls apart. So yeah I listened to the flight attendant and just smiled when she said that yesterday because I'm like, you can see that on memes and quotes. But if you don't really, truly understand that you cannot help others until you've helped yourself, you cannot pour from an empty cup.

How are you filling your cup up today? Thank you for today. Thank you. It's so good. I know? Thank you for today. Thank you. It's so good. I know. It's so good. Can you feel it? I'm like, so when is part two?

I know. That's what I'm thinking. I don't want it to be over. Honestly, like it's so good. I've learned a lot today. Thank you. Listen to me. I learned a lot today.

I love this. I don't care. I'm so blessed that I get to do this and makes me, I'm just really grateful that you are here and I'm grateful that I get to be here with you. So, you know those moments where you're like, this is a memory, this is one. Me too.

Thank you so much. I love today. All right everybody, she got to me. Reminder every day on Instagram, I run the max out two minute drill. Don't forget that. I wanna engage with you closer, fastest growing, by a mile, personal development,

life strategy, business, leadership, whatever you want to call my account. In the world, and here's the reason why, because I connect with you every day. We pick winners every day. What do winners get? They get coached by me. Would you do one 15 minute call?

Anything. Wow, 15 minute call with one of my guests like Jenna, tickets to C&E speak. Some group just wrote on my jet with me, Max Algear, my book, all kinds of cool stuff. And here's how you win. When I make a post on Instagram within the first two minutes, you just make a comment within the first two minutes. If you miss the first two minutes, just make a post on every post every day. At the end of the week, we add up to people just comment anytime. 10 hours later, 15 hours later, we pick a winner from there. And then we also pick a winner, a third winner, who just makes a comment on other people's comments. So make your own comment in the first two minutes. If you miss the first two minutes, just make a comment any time every

day and comment with other people so you're engaging, communicating with each other. I read them all, I comment to about a thousand devil them a day, so I'm pretty engaged with you. And that's how I get to keep bringing you magnificent people like Jenna. Follow Jenna on Instagram and also her Gold Digger podcast. God bless you everybody and max out. This is the end of my show.