THE ED MYLETT SHOW - High Performance Habits for Guaranteed Growth w/ Brendon Burchard

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

“DID I LIVE?” “DID I LOVE?” “DID I MATTER?”Those are the questions BRENDON BURCHARD asked himself after surviving a horrific car accident when he was 19.  He has spent the last 26 years searching for those ANSWERS.  Those are also a few of the questions we’ll try to answer on this week’s show.  Brendon’s been on before, and so many of you made it one of the most watched episodes ever that I knew it was only a matter of time before I had to have him back.  Since the accident, Brendon has become a 3-time New York Times best-selling author and a thriving online teaching pioneer with videos that have racked up 400 MILLION VIEWS and earned hundreds of well-deserved accolades.To CHANGE means to GROW!In this episode we’re going to dive deep into the NATURE OF CHANGE and how factors like AMBITION, DESIRE, NECESSITY, and ESTEEM can drive YOU to change… or not.  He reveals the single GREATEST integrated personal development environment I’ve ever seen…AND no conversation with Brendon would be complete unless we talk about HIGH PERFORMANCE HABITS and EFFORTS OF IMPACT.  It’s GREAT WISDOM…simply great wisdom.Here’s a huge takeaway from this week’s episode.The QUALITY OF THE QUESTIONS we ask ourselves determines the quality of the LIFE we end up living.Start by seeking answers to the questions Brendon asks, and then KEEP ASKING other questions that matter most to you.

This is the Ed Milach Show. Alright, welcome back to the show, everybody. I have an icon here today. A barf, maybe the most perfect time ever to have the perfect person at the perfect time I have sitting across from here right now. And you know, when I got into personal development, everywhere I would go, this man's name would come up. I'm sitting at a Dodger game with Larry King one night,

and I'm describing what he goes, you know, Brennan Brushard. Everywhere I would go, and I thought, when I heard your name, this dude must be in his 60s because he's a legend already. And then when I got to research you and get to know you, I'm like, my sky's even younger than I am. And then we did a podcast together

with just blew up and went all over the internet, and I'm like, I'm gonna have him back on again. So Brennan Brushard welcome back to the show And my let it's an honor man. It's really an honor. It's been so great getting to know you and Coming in today and seeing this all put together like this like all right Ed Pretty cool. Yeah, it gets me out pretty cool our first show blew up so big and I have to tell you getting to know you And we become really good friends lately and You have a unique energy and in fact you have an energy of like nobody that I know and I didn't know where it came from and then

Recently we were somewhere together and you told a story and I think you meet someone like you you've affected millions and Millions and millions of people for decades You're also sort of a leader amongst the leaders in personal development. Other leaders look to you for advice and counsel and guidance often. I see many of them do it. And to think of where this actually started and where you were, I think we'll just give people unbelievable hope and really some insight. So take us all the way back to where this journey started for you. Yeah. Well, in the personal development journey, it began because I needed a lot of development.

So did I. The story is, you know, I was a 19 year old kid and I had fallen deeply in love with my high school sweetheart and we thought we were going to marry. And so she wanted to go to college and I just wanted to do landscaping. You know, I just wanted to work, you know, in my small little town in Montana that we were growing up and I didn't have these big crazy ambitions to reach people and inspire people.

I was just happy. I was always a very simple man, very simple. She wanted to go to college, okay, I'll go to college. So I hitched a U-haulul to the back of my 1988 Nissan Centra. I weld it myself, put in, you know, little six by nine U-Haul's, you put all our stuff in, we drove over the continental divide to University of Montana, and Missoula went to college together. And in our first semester, she went outside the relationship and cheated. And I don't know about you, but if you've ever had your whole identity tied up into a relationship and then that relationship falls apart, you fall apart.

Yeah. And that's what happened. I didn't have the emotional tools or maturity to deal with it. So I felt deeply into depression. My best friends who were always fun guys, they couldn't get me out of bed. I didn't want to go to classes because I didn't know what I want to do. So I signed up for all the classes and she was there. So I just stopped going to classes, which I guess is not abnormal for a college freshman, but.

Right. Right. But he's not getting out of bed is not normal. Not normal. Couldn't get couldn't get out of bed. Just severely depressed. That eventually led into suicidal ideation and not just thinking about like planning it and writing letters. It was there.

And then two things changed my life. One, I was always a bookish kid. I loved to read. And so I was still reading the school newspaper. And one day, my roommate was so worried about it. He'd bring me food and a newspaper. And I read the newspaper, I was slipping through it and there was this big beautiful ad.

So reading the impulse changed my life, but then there was this ad. And it was this big, you know, I still remember the ad. This ad that was a blue background, white sandy beach, turquoise perfect ocean, palm trees, and the best title in the world for a broken kid at the top is said, escape. Mm-hmm, yeah.

It said, summer time jobs for students in the Dominican Republic. Gosh. And I'm from Montana, I didn't know where that was. Right, right, right. But I knew she wasn't there. Right. So I'm from Montana. I didn't know where that was. Right, right, right. But I knew she wasn't there. Right.

So I was like, I'm going. So a buddy of mine, we decided to go down. We worked for an entrepreneur and we basically became glorified tour guides. Yeah. One night we hop into a car, my friend's driving, we go to return back to where we were staying and we're flying down the road, you know, going 85 miles an hour on this long straightaway road that just paved. And we came upon a corner that in the US, they would have had one of those big, you know, you turn-shaped arrows, watch out, slow down,

sharp corner ahead, 15 miles an hour. But we came upon that corner and didn't see it, no sign. So my friend who's driving grabbed the wheel, and it hold on. And just cranks on this wheel to navigate the turn, but it's too late, we're going too fast. So cars are sliding sideways, I brace like this. And over the next couple of moments, it really shifted every,

that corner became the turning point in my life. Literally. Literally. Because you know when you brace like that, and it's the end of your life, if you have a moment of cognition, you think about, am I ready to die? These questions or this feeling,

this impulse goes through, and I don't know what it was for me, but it's like, later on, I debriefed it's like questions. It's like that first feeling, it was like, if you're crashing a death store where you wanna know, did I live? Wow.

If this is it, did I live my life? Did I live joyously, authentically, happily engaged, appreciative, grateful, connected, and you want to know, did you live your life? Well, I hadn't been living my life. I'd been thinking about taking my life. So I didn't like the answer to that. And this car starts going sideways off

the side of the road, smashes in this little retainer wall. It was like these bricks and this rocks that they used for irrigation ditch for nearby sugarcane field. Hit that, pops the car up there, I smack my head on the side of the door, and I started seeing all these images and like these scenes of life. Of your life? Of my life. Yeah, and it wasn't, what's the fancy word? It was an omniscient.

I see little Brendan going along, getting a little bigger and bigger and bigger, and said it was like from my own vantage point, from first person, so I would see at my birthday party, there was my friends in front of me, my cake, and my mom, you know, singing the goofy song, she sings on my birthdays. And I look over and I could see my sister

on the swing set next to me in the backyard. And literally I could see her and feel a swing set and we'd be like Kirk Lunk, Kirk Lunk, because my dad had made the backyard swing set and the one pole was always There's always one pole right there always is I had that too So I could feel that and sense that and the emotion was there and so what I saw was all these scenes in my life when I was surrounded by people I loved And those scenes that you see make you wonder did I did I love?

And those scenes that you see make you wonder, did I love? Did I really love and connect with people? Cause you do wonder who's gonna miss you and who you're gonna miss. I know it sounds funny to tell it on the story of that, but you know, if you've ever been in accident, you know this all happening slow motion. All right, this feels so real and so slow motion. Well, the car hits the ground.

Roll several times, I'm not completely out. When I come to my friend who's driving, he's screaming, get out of the car, get out of the car, get out of the car, and I look over and he's got this huge chunk of his head open. He's like blood all over. His eyes are wild, like an animal. Get out, get out, get out, get out, Brennan.

So he gets out, I don't know if the car's on fire, I don't know what's going on. I try to get out, but the car is smashed on top of me. So all I got is that kind of parts of the windshield in front of me, this little opening, so I smashed through that. And I stand up on the hood of this car, and it's the first time I kind of look down at my body, and they're just blood everywhere. He's screaming something at the side of the car, and I'm just, you know, I'm in that shock moment, and that terror moment, I look down, and I see the blood going off in my toes

onto the hood of this car, and I'm terrified. I'm just terrified, I think I'm gonna die. And I see the blood going off of the hood of the car, and I can't even hear him anymore, and I'm just in this weird space. And I look down and I see this reflection in the blood going off the hood of the car and it makes me look up. And there's

a bright, big, beautiful moon that night. It was magic. From this moment of fear to looking up and I connecting and for me was connecting to God. It was just this moment where I felt peace. I felt like I was going to be okay. I felt like I knew I was going to be okay. Later on called it life's golden ticket because I felt like the big guy upstairs, you know, saw this kid wondering if you lived and loved and mattered because when I looked down at all that blood, I just thought, did I even matter?

It's, you know, if this is it. And I felt like the big guy was like, Hey, you're still alive, you can still love, you can still matter. But now, kid, now you know the clock is ticking. And that was it. That was like, whoa. This is a second chance. I got a change. I got to just, I just, it just, sometimes some people to change, you know, they, they need a smack in the head. That was me. You know, I don't want to ruin the story, but I lived.

My Kevin, my friend, he lived, you know, it was a terrifying experience for both of us. We got out of the country. We ended up getting back home. And when I got back home, everything was different because now I knew life. I got it. That the end of our lives were going to ask, did I live? Did I love? And did I matter? Maybe some people ask other questions to might ask to was a good father Was I a good servant was a good leader was a good son was I you know You can ask all these questions. I feel like that fits under those categories though That's under love was a good father, right? Yeah, I think you I think you sum it up with those three pretty well, brother Yeah, so we're 26 years from that night and

Every night I go to bed and I ask, did I live today? Did I love to die? Did I matter today? It's not like every night. I'm like, yes, I'm, you know, I'm being, yes I did. But the nights I can say yes to the most of those questions, the nights I sleep the best. And those formed by accident, which I didn't know at the time, a very intentional life. Yeah. Like people, so you were talking about my energy, it's like, it's because each day I'm gonna live. Like I am going to have more fun in most of my days and most people.

You do. Even though I go through the same thing. You do. We were talking to you yesterday, it was like seven zoom. Yeah, yeah. Right? But I had a blast on those zooms.

Yeah. You know, today I was driving over in the Uber ride over here. I had a blast with the driver. The producer, lady who walked me in here, her and I were just laughing out front. Like I'm just gonna have fun. And that's from that, did I live? Cause I wanna live joyously and in the moment

and be present. And I love people, which you know, like I think that's one thing. That's for sure, that's evident. Has always connected us. And you definitely matter. Thank you. You definitely matter.

You matter to me. I'm just, I, the second time I've heard parts of that. And it just gets me. I have to tell you that there is something special about you. I just, I want everyone to listen to that story. Obviously, it's a dramatic story and it's an emotional story. But I want you to think for a second through Brendan the possibilities of life that he goes from, you know, basically writing letters to end his own life to then on this trip and on the hood of that car looking up at the moon and then from that moment of his life

just those two things alone to go I want to die. I want to die. I want to live. I want to live, right? Just that to then actually then living from the hood of that car that night to the millions and millions of people you've reached and each one of them is an individual soul. So not everyone listening is going to reach 50 million people whatever the number is you've reached. But they might reach three or one or they may reach someone who reaches 50 million people. And the possibilities of life you embody to me. That story of Isaac, you can go from that, that you're almost going to bleeding, watching your own blood on the hood of a car, going around that corner,

to not knowing around that corner is a totally different life for you. It's just, it's such, it's amazing you end up in this space and that incident is the perfect metaphor for change in life. Now let me ask you this, here's a tough one. People listening to this say to themselves, I wanna change too, but I would prefer not to get r rattled around in a car and have to get near deaf to do it.

And you said a minute ago, I wanna pick that apart a little because some people do need a dramatic moment, but if someone's listening, how does, this is such a broad-based question, but we got two pretty good guys at it sitting here, we might as well work on it together, right? How does one begin to change? What is the catalyst for that?

How does one in your opinion begin to change? Well, you know, in the old books of personal development, I always answered that by, it's either inspiration or desperation. You know, I'm a little more, I guess, framework driven than that. I think that at some point all change. It's inspired by ambition. Which is funny because people today think ambitions is bad thing.

But ambition, whether you call it desire or drive or you feel like you must or in psychology, we call it psychological necessity. I feel like it's necessary. Like it's necessary now. There's no choice, there's no going back, there was a threshold, there's something, not everyone needs a car accident. Cause you know how many people have told that story to,

you know millions of people in person live on stadiums or arenas or you know 500 million people on video views now, you know, it's, it's um, I'm sure a lot of people say, I was in a car accident too. You know, my car accident was even more dramatic than yours, you know, because they lost a limb or they were disabled or, but I didn't change. Yes. I didn't change, Brendan.

Why? And ultimately comes back to psychological necessity. And we can think about it a couple of different layers. One layer is that you are the way that you are because of what we all call the comfort zone, right? There's comfort in who we are, how we be, how we behave, I should say, are natural strengths, talents, ability,

just who you are. Already, that's just your comfort zone, that's how you are. But what happens for other people, there's a layer above that, and they shift because now there's a demand zone. Circumstances demand you change. Your dreams demand that you change.

Something external demands that you change or you place the demand on your own shoulders because you want a different kind of life. Most people are scared to demand anything from themselves. And most people when a demand hits them, it feels like an obligation. And they fight it. They resist. I don't want that. You know, you're at work. Don't give me more stuff to do. How dare my manager ask me more? You know, they fight. As soon as the demand approaches them, it's a threat. Other people teach themselves because they're into growth. A demand approaches them. That's that's challenge. That's character development. Let me see if I can rise to that.

So they approach to demand. And how we view that as a threat or as a challenge is a fundamental mindset or choice of attitude. And then above that, there's another layer, which is why don't people change? And which you, oh my gosh, every episode you do, I feel like there's a master class on that. And that's what we call the esteem zone. Okay. A esteem zone. A lot of people have, you know, comforts and abilities, they could be remarkable.

They have a natural talents. Other people have lots of demands on top of them. They still don't change why. A steam. Yeah. How they view themselves, value themselves, express themselves, relate themselves to the world. They, even though they have so much opportunity or so many natural talents, because how many

gifted people do we know, who never potentialize that gift? So many. Because they're a steam, they're value of themselves, they're view of themselves, their belief in their ability to figure things out is so low. That it doesn't matter. You could give them the greatest challenges, resources, tools, support, but no one ever cared for them. And they never taught themselves to care for themselves.

Here you go. So how can they change? Yeah, care for themselves. Can I add to that? Yeah. I think about your story and I think of two things. I think of number one, the meaning you took from it. It's not the events of our lives that define us. It's the meaning we take from the events. So,

you could have taken from that event. My gosh, thanks God. You have my girlfriend cheat on me that I went away to college with. Now I try to get a break and my car crashes and you almost kill me. I'm doomed. I'm doomed. I never thought about it. I never thought about it. Of course it didn't. And that's why your life is what it is, Brendan. Many people would have taken that event and said, here we go again. I'm doomed. Bad things happen to me. Over and over again, tragedy.

My relationship crashes. Now my car crashes. Now my experience crashed. You didn't do that. What happened was, as you took a meaning from it, that it was a golden ticket. You even have a term for it, which is a beautiful term, which by the way has resonated with me. And the way you got that golden ticket,

the way you took that meaning was the questions you asked yourself. So the quality of our life is oftentimes the quality of the questions. You asked yourself standing there, did I love, did I live, do I matter, did I matter? Those are powerful questions that shaped what it meant for you and shaped what your life meant for you and shaped what your

life meant for you. And so I think both things are true. What you said is 100% true. And for people listening to this, if you want to change your life, you have to change what things mean in your life. Most importantly is the esteemed thing. Change who and what you mean. Start to ask different questions about yourself and you'll get different answers. People say, I got to change the way I think. Okay, what is thinking? Thinking is the process of asking and answering questions to yourself. That's what a thought is. And so if you can change the question, you can change the answer, you change the meaning, you have a chance to change your life. And I feel like the powerful part of that story is, did I live? Did I love? Did I matter? Since you said that to me a long time ago,

I ask myself that often and it guides me. And so I think if you're sitting here, going, what are the questions? What am I great at? What are my dreams? Right? These are the, what are my talents? What are my proclivities? What do I enjoy doing? What emotions do I want to have? What do I deserve to what are my proclivities, what do I enjoy doing, what emotions do I wanna have? What do I deserve to have in my life? And I think if you begin to change those questions, it asks them enough times, because the story you tell yourself currently,

you've just told it a lot of times. You've asked the questions a lot of times, so it's become your narrative. You've built neural pathways literally in your mind that you've deluded yourself into believing this is who you are. But the truth is, there's been many versions of you. I'm looking at you. There was this version of you that was the in love young college guy wanted to be a landscaper. Yeah. Then he goes to college.

Then he's the depressed you. Then he's the car accident you. Then he's the live love matter you. Then you became this unbelievable speaker you. Then you became the personal development you and the coach you and then the coach to the coaches you. And you and now I look at you and now you're like this software business Moulge will pioneer guy that and I think one of the things In this world today is people need more tools. They need more resources. I Think winning and I've argued with this even Tony Robbins and I have argued about this But I think winning is as much and virulent environmental as it is mental and Tony would say no you can overcome your environment

Absolutely 100% true, but if you can create a great environment around you Yes, then you're more likely to succeed sure people have overcome their environments I did as a child you've overcome different environments But the fastest way to win is to be in an environment of winning. Take an average player, Adam to a perennial team like the Lakers of the Yankees, they just play different with that uniform on a good clubhouse versus a bad clubhouse. And you've created something that you're, I wanted to why you did it number one, because now you're business mogul, Brendan, right?

Software mogul, Brendan, but he's got something called growth day, guys, that I'm gonna let him describe to you, which is the single greatest personal development environment I have ever seen in my life. For someone to create change in their emotions, their body, their business, their mindset, their relationships, you name it, you've created growth day.

What made you do growth day? And this is like the next version of you, I suppose, right? Yeah, another version of me, because even in our own lives, we have different versions of ourselves. You know, I'm the dorky Montana kid at the dinner table, having a glass of wine with you, and then we can go out and coach Olympians. And then we can come and have a podcast.

We all have different sides of our expressions, but you know what happened with growth day was for sort of 15 years, I just built my brand, you know, six books, 20 online courses, you know, hundreds of millions of video views and downloads and mostly all our seminars and conferences. So those were all going great. And then the pandemic hits. And two things happened in the pandemic. The first thing that happens is we have to stop all of our seminars. And there was an environment, as you were talking about, at our summit, there was so magical.

And all of our, you know, thousands and thousands of customers and attendees, they're just like, oh, you got all my know, we love that. We got to see these amazing motivational speakers. We could have this experience. And, and where you got all my know. We love that. We got to see these amazing motivational speakers. We could have this experience. And where's that all that going to happen now that we're locked in our houses? Um, second was I was part of Kajabi. Um, that story of being their first, you know, investor and primary driver of their customers. We had a $2 billion valuation during the pandemic.

And I saw the value of software and how it could scale and be valued and reach people being part of that journey for a decade. And I thought, okay, we can't do conference anymore. I got to serve people. We got to bring them these voices. I also had had this thing called the high performance planner, which was a way of organizing your day. Everyone was saying, put that in an app. I had my courses all over here. I had courses with Oprah Winfrey Network over here. I had courses on this platform over there. It's put it all in one place. I had this live broadcasting technology. Oh, couldn't we, everyone wanted all of their personal

development in a place. Yes. They wanted a home for it. So Denise and I, my wife, were out walking one day and were walking literally under a palm tree, funny stories. And this idea comes to me like, why is everyone suffering so bad right now during this pandemic?

And I said, you know, because they've lost that access to, you know, that sense of advancement or progress or growth, what people need more of right now is they need more days of growth. They need more growth days. And I said it, people need more growth days. You want to change your life,

you need more days of growth. People need more growth days. I came to change your life and need more days of growth. People need more growth. I came out my mouth and I'm like, and literally in a flash of in like instantly I knew it was. I was like, that's it. We're gonna create a software. It's growth day, all of your personal development. So your mindset journaling, your habit tracking, your goal setting and planning, your inspiration from the live teachers, from the biggest motivational teachers in the world teaching in their life, to the best courses in personal development that we've acquired, taught, produced, to the greatest community of people.

You have 300,000 achievers from around the world in there now who love making self-improvement way of life. And what I realized was maybe because we were also displaced in some ways, even though we were at home during the pandemic, I thought we need a home for personal development. Yep. Where do you... Where do... like all of us who listen to shows like this, where do we go? Yep.

We go to this podcast or that thought leader, we have these tools over here or journal over there. It's... No one's ever integrated and put it in one place. Where you could track your notes, track your habits, learn from the best, all in one place. So that was the genesis of starting it and I didn't know it'd grow so fast. We launched on Independence Day last year.

Independence Day, July 4th, 2021, we launched it. I think it supersedes the, I mean, you both know that it does because one thing, the events are great. I do them, you do them. Everyone should be participating in them. But then you do leave, and you gotta go back to the environment you left from. Yes.

What I love about growth day now is that the environment is with you all the time. The tools, the journaling, the daytimeer, the information, the inspiration, the topic specific content that's in there and it's cool I in fact I like it so much everybody just so you know, I'm dropping content in there Yeah, and Brennan's dropping content in there and so I just think this is revolutionary. Thank you I think it's going to change the planet

It's going to change the planet because now there's a place you go and you tap in and you go I can grow whatever the area is I need today this month this week There's someone in there that's the tap in and you go, I can grow. Whatever the area is I need today, this month, this week, there's someone in there that's the best in the world that can help me. I mean, it's like nothing. It's nominal cost. It's almost completely inexpensive. So they go, they can download the Growth Day app, correct? Yeah, they can do it on their phone where they go to GrowthDay.com, they can take a free

trial and test it out, see it. One of the things I do in there is I do a daily exclusive life coaching audio it's crazy so and it expires every night midnight so people come in every day it's like sticky they come in I gotta get that message about improving life but then they can use all their their tools in there and then learn from everybody in there and um we've been blessed with you know the biggest names in the industry coming in there teaching live because they believe in the mission like you said you know I believe we can change the world because of this, because when we change ourselves and we have a system for that,

most people don't have a system for self improvement. Right, they got a morning routine, they kind of cobbled together, they got a couple of books over there, they kind of read, haven't quite read. They've got 80 downloads, they haven't quite listened to them. And if you don't have a system prompting you, you know, helping you grow, tracking that progress, we just, if you don't have a system prompting you, you know, helping you grow, tracking

that progress, we just, you don't measure, you can't improve it. And if you're not doing something consistently, it's hard to actually grow. So we've built a software that just helps you do that. It prompts you, inspires you. Most people don't journal because they don't know what to journal about. So we partnered with you, Penn's positive psychology department and some of their, you of their graduate students and PhDs to create all these research back journaling prompts. You don't want to write about no, right? Just press the morning mindset prompt.

It preloads it. Yeah. Press the monthly, you gotta review last month. Press the month of your review. The AI generates all these things for you to journal about. So it's smart and you don't have to know what to do, just literally log in and we'll help you.

I wanna always support and endorse things that can change people's lives and I know this does. I just know that it does. Go to growthday.com, go download the Growth Day app, you'll be glad you did. You have my recommendation on it. I'm gonna be in there as well. And I'm grateful you had the vision to do it because here's why. What are the comments you have to make to change

your life? Okay. You have two of the best people in the world here that you're listening to today act this. And I thought about this lately because you become very wealthy guy. Your exit from that could job idea wasn't bad. Plus you've made millions and millions of dollars in your life. You know, I haven't needed to work for money now in 20 years, yet I still have crazy schedules and 18 hour days and all these other things. And I think I figured out what it is that you and I have in common.

And that is that I was never about a particular place for me to get, even though I dreamed of different places. So I had places I wanted to get. I wanted to save my first $100,000, you know. And I wanted to make my first million in a year or make a million dollars or Pay off a house free and clear or retire my mom and dad I had places I wanted to get to yes, but unlike most people

Those were just like leading indicators that I was doing the right things They weren't final destinations, right? And I think too often in people's lives these places they get there like I make and then they cool it and that they it was a Final destination for them and recently I was talking to a friend of mine and I said I think I know what it is and I said now I'm going to start talking about it more and it's this it's that I'm Addicted obsessed with the expansion of my being with the growth of my being of me as a man of my emotions of my capacity of my being. With the growth of my being, of me as a man, of my emotions, of my capacity, of my memories, of my ability to contribute and support people, the amount of fun I can

have, the expansion of me. Yes. And I love that word expansion. Yeah. And I, I, I really feel like the commitment I would love for all of you to make that are driving right now, running on the treadmill. And by the way, you're kind of doing it a little bit already just by being here. Right. And by the way, you're kind of doing it a little bit already, just by being here. Being here, right? Is that the rest of your life is the expansion of you. The expansion of you as a being, as a man or a woman.

Aren't you, don't you feel that way? That's gotta be what your jam is. That's it. Are you sitting here? Well, there's two things there, I would say. Okay. Add one little element to it. First, that is the greatest of human desires

after safety and insistence is growth. And because you give someone everything else, but then you take away growth, they're miserable, right? Because look at what happened during last couple of years when it wasn't expansion, it was constriction. Saying house, don't go out, be scared. Constriction doesn't feel good.

That's why the mental health, you know, dilemma went, you know, 10X in the last two, three years because people were constricted. People want to grow and expand. And so that freedom is a primary human drive. Yes. That freedom to become more of who you really can be and do the things that bring us passion and joy and fulfillment, of who you really can be and do the things that bring us passion and joy and fulfillment, that expansion in that direction is necessary to the human spirit. So and to me, that's back coming back to my framework a little bit. That's the esteem zone. But there's one other element because the seam zone, that's expanding our sense of being.

That's growth. There's one little thing above that. And that's why some people never change is because we know some people, they expand their esteem, but they expand it only in the sense of ego or achieve contribution and service. Yeah. Service. Like the people who keep going and driving and the vision gets bigger and bigger, not because it's the vision for their personal brand.

No. It's the vision of impact. It's the vision for people personal brand. No. It's the vision of impact. It's the vision for people. Yes. The vision for their team, the vision for their culture, the vision for the industry, the vision for the future, the vision for that underserved audience. It's service. Yeah, I'm glad you say it that way because I think I take that for in my own life that's

sort of where I've been for the last 30 years. That's why I said when I said the expansion of my being, my ability to give, my ability to contribute. It's the only thing in my life that's never not felt great permanently, meaning when I've got a jet or a house or money or whatever it is, it feels good for a while. And by the way, you should always have those things because they do create safety and you can make a difference

for yourself and by the way, if they're gonna have nice things in the world, you ought to have them, if you can have them. But the staying power of how good it feels, shrinks over time. And I think the more you get these things, the less cool they stay, the duration of time that they're cool shrinks too. The first time I did something really cool

is like, man, that new car lasted a long time. Then the next one less. And then eventually it's eventually it's like it was good for like four days Right, you got a car you got a garage full of 20 of them. You're like, okay, it was good But the the serving another being yeah helping another person that has never gone away Right, it is never ever since the graces that our heart of service cannot be satiated And so for you and I like like we were people of faith, we believe in God, it's like, well, you know, God's still expanding the universe.

That's right. And you could stop to, you know, at planet number, you know, thousand, but no, it's like, still building galaxies and universes, it's still expanding out. Whether you believe in God, or you just think that's just like some big bang, amazingness, right? It's that you can be, I can, I can satiate you with a chocolate cake right now, right?

You get done with your, oh my God, too much chocolate cake. Stop. I please know more food. But in serving others, that is, that's what makes us uniquely human. That we cannot be satiated in our service. How do you think someone figures out how they best serve people? People just say, oh, that's theoretically awesome. How do I, sir? I don't know what, I ask you hard stuff because I think you're the most qualified.

Like you and I in a room, we got to ask the hard stuff of each other, right? Like, yeah. I think most people are like, yep, I got that. I want to do the growth thing. I got that. I got the whole, I should be serving people thing. Not sure exactly what my jam is in serving people. Yes. I have my version of a weird pathway there and I'll give you mine, but give me yours first. How do I know how I best serve people?

Yeah. Tough question. It is if you try to answer it. I don't try to answer it. I think it's destined. I think God has a plan. I think you have been uniquely equipped through your life's journey by the struggles, the difficulties, the heart breaks, your parents, you know, the efforts, the goals, the dreams. Yeah, you manifested a lot, but you didn't know that person was going to show up in your seminar

room that day. You didn't know that person was going show up in your seminar room that day. You didn't know that person was gonna show up in your office that day. You didn't know that person who needed to hear this message right now Curred that you did not know that interaction of where your service would go would apply to that person Like I never knew that my story of a car accident would be an ed my lets head one day So I believe what we do is we take our life's journey and what we're good at. And we try to apply that for some goodness, for some cause, for something that impacts people. And its ultimate impact, who it reaches, will change. So we all can point to parts in our life.

We did something pivotal. Something happened and someone says, thank you for that. That made a difference to me and we go, it did? Really? I never knew I was gonna write a book. I would tell my stories to people and they're like, you gotta write that down, I go, I do.

Me too. Me too. Yeah, right? So I never knew I'd do a podcast. You should do a podcast where now I should. So I know some people, you know, I both know people, they can architect it out from age seven. Yes.

They had that vision, they were gifted with that and everything else, the rest of us. And most people, they go through a little bit of a meandering journey in life and they get feedback from others about how they've impacted them or about what they like or they have a passion, they hobby and they put it out there and and it has Resonance. Yeah, and what we're really doing is we're following a resonance. I agree. We all think we're following a plan that we've made.

I actually think we're following resonance. We're following some feedback that the universal God is giving us. And if we can listen and tune into that and tap in or meditate or pray and feel that guidance. I think that's when it's a different flow. Then when it's like, I have to do these things. I just want to come back to what you were saying about the cars and everything else. Most people's first taste of success actually came from scenes of desire. I have a scene of being on that beach with my spouse. Or I have a scene of that car.

Or I have a scene. And car or I have this, they had a scene and then they get to the scene and they're, they realize, I'm living the scene of my dream. Yeah. But then at the end of the night, they got to, okay, what's the next scene? So we have to keep manifesting these scenes, which are really goals, we're manifesting these goals. But the journey and where that destination ends up, I think is that's a little more divine or guided or if we just, you might call it feedback or resume.

Well, let's talk about some of that feedback because we agree on that. Some of that feedback that I think you can get is actually I'm going to give you guys a little stimulus to maybe part of your path. I totally agree with that by the way. I think part of that feedback is through admiration. Meaning if you think about people that you admire in your life, oftentimes there's something about them that intuitively you think similarly may exist in you. What I mean by that is like one of the people that I admired most in my life was Dr. King. Now, Dr. King was not a perfect person in every single area of his life, but what he was was incredibly inspiring and

courageous and was also an orator. And so there were things that I admired about him that if I look back now that I delineate down that at the time, maybe I wouldn't have known, but those were things about me that I should be expressing. Yes. I admired my mother and her unbelievable ability to hold our family together during chaos and tragedy and stress. I just admired my mom.

And in hindsight, there was a part of me that is wired to be able to be calm under duress and pressure. So it may not be the way they expressed it. Some of you, I admire Beyonce. But what do you admire about her? Her vocal ability is that there's it. There's it, maybe the way she holds herself in her confidence level? There are things about

people we admire that are well known or that are in our personal lives. The maybe leaving you some clues as to things that you see yourself in them. I know that sounds crazy. I would never be like me. I would never be like my mom, not so fast. Maybe they're the ultimate expression of things that exist within you, and maybe that's part of that feedback. Yes, yeah, because you know, the standard answer in personal development is, oh, do what you're passionate about. But there's a ton of research out there saying people don't know what their passions are.

Right. So, you know, all the psychologists always say, well, follow your interests. What do you, what are you interested in? What do you fascinated by? What do you admire? And keep interested in? What do you fascinated by? What do you admire? And keep, like, keep researching, learning, following that, observing that, practicing that.

And then that grows into a little bit more of passion or a hobby or maybe even a career. Then one of those things usually sorts itself out over a period of time when you have success and feedback with it into almost no obsession. You're right. Oh my God, I love doing this. And most people around you think, that's crazy. Why you putting all that time to it? And they think you're obsessed in a negative way, but you're

actually in a healthy way really focused and dedicated. And you have devotion to that thing. Yeah. And that's a great word. I love this. Yeah. I have devotion to service. Yeah. You know, you and I both there's no there's literally no earthly reason we have to do what we're doing right now. This is devotion to reaching people with positivity. This is devotion to reaching people so that maybe they do live and love and matter or feel that a little bit more. So we have devotion to our work and that work in terms of mission or purpose or career, but you don't start with that when you're 15. You know, usually you follow these interests.

One of those interests or fascinations or admiration turns into something, maybe a career or maybe some success. And that now turns into a little bit more passion and then a little bit more obsession. And then it's just who you are, man. Yes. And there was like, how did you get there? And you're like, I don't, you know, I don't really know,

but that's how it all starts. It's so true. And by the way, how did you get there? And you're like, I don't, you know, I don't really know, but that's how it all sounds. It's so true. And by the way, it's normal to feel unqualified. I was just, I want to share with everyone those, I always tell people like, I tell our audience all the time, like stuff really going on with me. And so about two weeks ago, the event you were at with me, yes.

You came down to me a tremendously huge favor, did an unbelievable job. Dean Gratio, C.Oio, he was supposed to be there and Lisa's about to give birth to their child. And so you go, oh, come in this place. And so you, in the last minute stepped up in a way that was just in the job. Well, the event you put on,

this, the context is this is people who supported Ed's book. My book and in big ways. He's rewarding them with this incredible event. Yeah. That actually wasn't even supposed to be a vent. He put, he just decided, wait, they're coming out. We're going to put together this incredible room of teachers and inspiration. Then they're going to come to my house like you went all.

And it was unreal. And everybody, everybody was unbelievable that day. So fun. But you were up there and my job was just like, oh my gosh, right? Like, because I haven't had a chance to be in a room. You've seen me speak a bunch of times or a couple of times, but I haven't had a chance to just sit and be fed by you. And I was just blown away.

So anyway, while we're at that event, I get a call to come out of the room, and I'm like, I'm at my event. And it's a very well-known person that's been on my show, and they go, no, you need to take my call right now. So I go out, and what it was is I was being invited to, he was someone asked me for your phone number, but I want to make sure I permission to give it and they want you to be on this particular

board. And I'm like, I don't need another board. Like, yeah, you do. And they start naming to me the other people on the board. And I'm like, whoa, okay, what's the hook here? Right? Why would they want me? Immediately, even at my age, why me? I'm not qualified. So anyway, the last few weeks I've gone through it and then this morning I had the final call with them and I accepted the position. But at the end of the call, I said, can I now ask you guys a question?

This is me, because this is normal, everybody. I go, why do you want me? How am I qualified to be doing this? And the truth of the matter is, I was qualifying myself all my life, what you just said. I was qualifying myself when my dad was drinking and he said. I was qualifying myself when my dad was drinking and he came home. I was qualifying myself when I was struggling

as an entrepreneur. I was qualifying myself when I was coaching peels. Qualifying myself when I drive home at the end of a night and think about quitting and want to quit so badly. I was qualifying myself when I was reading books on the beach when everyone else was drinking beers that day at the beach. So you just need to know you are qualifying yourself by living your life.

Yes. And to have this thing in you that says, I'm going to serve people. Who do I admire? What's the feedback I'm getting and begin to just try more things, begin to do more things. Well, that I kind of know where I'm going. I know what I want to do. I pretty damn focused. I got that obsession thing you're talking about. And you did high performance habits, which separates the really high performers from the ones that perform pretty well. Right?

And so someone says, I want to be the damn best at whatever I'm doing. I'm open in a chain of dry cleaners. I'm training horses. I've got to, I'm going to be the greatest mother in the history of the world. Whatever the thing is, what separates, I know there's a whole book that's been written on this, but give us a few things that people may not think about that separates people. I am focused. I am on my mission. What could separate me? What are some of the things that I must be doing to be the best? Yeah, first, always frame that is habits. It has to be

habits. A lot of people think it's is habits. It has to be habits. A lot of people think it's just mindset. Like mindset is a habit of thought, right? So it's like, well, it's how you deal with people. That's a habit of interaction. Like so always just like realize it's a habitual pattern or practice that you're doing. But what separates people is not the habits

that everyone wants to talk about in the popular literature or books. It's like, you know, these small habits or atomic habits or automatic habits or, you know, unconscious habits. Those are valuable. Those are very important. But high performance requires deliberate habits.

But deliberate habit means you kind of have to force yourself to do it. It's not easy. It's not automatic. It's not tiny. It's like, you know, it's like, it's going the extra mile thing. It's never going to be, you're never going to condition it to not automatic. It's not tiny. It's like, you know, it's like, going the extra mile thing, it's never going to be. You're never going to condition it to be automatic.

Ah, it's like, no, it's the tough work of life to go to another level. You want to be at the top. It's really friggin hard. It's hard. You have to accept that. And so what we did is we studied. We said, what is that difference maker?

We spent a million dollars on research. Gosh. Like the largest research I did, it's ever been done on high performers worldwide, 90 countries, 90 different countries that we surveyed the highest performers. These tend to be not the top 15% they tend to be the top 5%. And the difference between the top 15 and the top 5% is this. It kind of falls in the definition of high performance. High performance means succeeding over the long term in any industry or endeavor or whatever, while still maintaining positive well-being and relationships. I want to hear about this. How do you, what high performers have answered is how do you succeed over the long term without wrecking your health, your mindset, your positivity, and your relationships? We know lots of successful people, but they ruined all their relationships.

We know successful people, they ruined their health. They're not high performers, they wouldn't qualify. So what do they do? It's different practices we call them high-formers habits. So you mentioned these people, they already have clarity, clarity, developing clarity, and constantly revisiting to become clear every day. What is my intention? What is my intention? What is my intention? That revisit of clarity is supremely important to them. Revisiting it. Yes, not not sending a goal on January 1st and

for getting it. It's literally consistent. It's literally consistency in intention. Like every day, you hear about high-formers, they look at their goals every day, you set your intention. When I work with Oprah, she taught me, every meeting you have with Oprah, she starts with, what's our intention of this meeting?

Every meeting, because that's seeking clarity. So high-formers you see clarity more often. Second habit is generating energy. They generate the energy they want experience in life and they want other people to experience. They're not waiting for joy. They're not waiting for happiness. They're not waiting for positivity. They generate it. They are so much more conscientiously designing the energy around them and you feel it, right? conscientiously designing the energy around them. And you feel it, right? And by the way, everyone should know this.

It is, I would say, in the very top keynote speakers on Earth today. Like what you can do on stage is unbelievable. It's not even, I mean, you're talking a handful of humans who can do this. Thank you. And what you do is you generate and move the energy the room way more consciously than

the average speaker. The average speaker is kind of insecure a little bit. It doesn't mean you don't have insecure doubts of there. What it means is he's moving the room. Like, he's taking him on a wild ride. He's generating the energy. That's the difference between an underperforming speaker and a high performing speaker. Another piece is the productivity piece. I know it's so basic, but most people

are so unbelievably not productive. Yes. I mean, it's stunning. You know, it is stunning. The average person is losing an hour a day to Facebook or Instagram and then watching four hours of television. That's five hours a day of consumption. If you can turn those five, let's take one out. Let's say, no, no, we're talking iPhones. If we can you one hour a day back, one hour a day of focus back. That's 30 hours a month. Crazy. That 30 hours, that's seven hours a week. Well, that means you got an extra day. Yeah. That's an extra eight hour workday that you got. That's an unfair advantage. Yes. So getting people their focus back in a world that has, you know, the highest paid engineers in the world paid to strip your attention away. So you consume versus create and be and live. That is a primary differentiator right now.

How about, stay on that a minute. I so agree with you. And the more I've started to coach people and I actually get into their lives, how not only do they waste time, but how little time-brennan, and this is huge for everyone, that they do on things every day that move the needle.

Like move the needle in your company. Move the needle's it. Like move the needle in your company. Move the needle in your relationship. Move the needle in your body. It's like you're just doing little things all the good. Sometimes do stuff that moves it, right? Like I'll give you one small example. My relationship with my children. They're both away at college.

I have great relationships with my kids, but they're both away at college and I'm busy and they're busy and there are days where we just text. Yeah. Their mom's on the phone with them all the time. And I thought, am I moving the needle in this, it's okay, I did what I'm supposed to do today,

I'm communicating with my kids. I know that sounds very organized or methodical, but does that move, is Bella know I love her a lot more when she gets my text message? Does Max know I believe in him a lot more when she gets my text message? Does Max know I believe in him a lot more? What would move the needle? I got to call them. Now this may sound silly to all of you, but I'm trying to, the most high performing thing

I could do in my relationship with my children is to call them. In a lot of relationships, the text doesn't move the needle, the call moves the needle. The thing in your company that you're doing all these, what's the thing that gets the big account that moves the account that creates the most leverage, that get, move the needle more off. Right. Another phrase of that is, another exact phrase of that is, efforts of impact. So in the research, high performers, this is great for all those who are like, oh my

god, Brenn, they got to add you, right? This is overwhelmed. It's a lot of stuff to do. Oh my God. Well, the research showed in 90 countries around the world that high performers spend 60% of their week, there, efforts of impact, needle moving things. So when you look at their calendar each day, it's not, are they 100% high performing?

Oh, they, look, they gotta answer emails. They gotta reply to dumb answer emails. They got to reply to dumb DMs. They got to take that stupid call once a while. We think they're perfect. No, it's just that 60% of their effort is directed to activities that actually make an impact. They got to do 40% of administration or household work too. It's just that most of their effort, 60% is geared towards what moves that needle, gets that significant impact. What a powerful question to ask yourself if you're listening to this, in whatever area you pick, pick your area, your relationship, your company, your money, how much of your time is efforts of

impact moving the needle stuff. And if you just tweak that by 11%, 16%, how much different would your life be three years from now one year from now These are this is why you listen to the show everybody. It's like I got something there I'm not moving the needle often up. I mean Your habits aren't efforts of impact your habits are like I checked the box. I did the text I did the email. I made the call. I made my context. I drank my protein. I had the water You did the stuff, but how much of it moved it, right? Yeah, it's so easy. So it's like start with what I said first about that hour day of distraction. And I always tell people, if I could get you three more months of advancement this year,

would that make a difference? They go, oh my god, yeah, three more months. I go great, that's an hour a day. Gosh. One hour a day, seven hours a week, right? Over the course of the month, that's 30 hours, that's basically a whole work week, really. And then you'd just pie that by 12 months. It's like, we just got you 12 work weeks back. That's so good. For one hour a day, so we're not asking for a lot. And then the joy is, I thought it was the 80, 20

Pareto principle, it's like, oh by 80% of the time, I gotta be, blah, blah, blah, I thought it was the 80, 20 Pareto Principles. It's like, oh, like 80% of the time I got to be, I'm gonna be super man, 80%, try 60. It's nice. It's nice. That's what the data shows. You say? The data shows, it's a 64 day.

I was like, oh, that's a relief. You know, because I was wondering all these other people, because you think all these successful people, they've got a million assistants running around doing everything. And you're right. I tell my kids all the time, and tell them since they were little. I said, when you grow up a little bit, you're going to find out everyone says,

winning is hard. Okay. I get all that. Well, I'll tell my kids all the time. The more even once you get into college, you're going to figure out you're not competing against that many people. You're really only in life competing against yourself, but you know what I mean when I say right.

And now that they're there, and they're like, Dad, you're right. Like some kids don't even go to class every day. Some kids don't study at all someday. I'm like, you're gonna figure it out that it's a very small group of people that do things in their life that are efforts of impact on a very regular basis. Life, if you wanna change your life right now, it is really possible. You could really do it.

You really could do it. Is there anything else you wanna add to it? Cause I feel like I interrupted you on that. Is there any other area of high performance people? I know there's a bunch, but give us one more. Practices of self-awareness. This is why everyone loves growth day. And I didn't know. I knew it would be powerful. I didn't know it would be this powerful at all. You know, we want to make the world's number one mindset journal. So that's in growth day. We want to make

the world's number one habit tracker. So you can track your high performance habits and other well-being and achievement habits in the app. And then it gives you recommendations. We built in the goal setting tool with reminders. So you can remind yourself and push notifications to yourself to meditate, to work out, to flirt with your wife, you know, all this stuff. And those were just coming from the research

and also high performers just telling us what they do. They journal, they meditate, they pray, they think. They're doing more practices of self-awareness. To figure out themselves. You know, like a lot of people go to the gym but a high performer go to the gym and you say, what are you thinking about at the gym? My man, I'm thinking about my goals.

Man, I'm thinking about that deal. Man, I'm thinking about that date night with my wife this Friday. I don't know if you're gonna be. Yeah. Right. They're in a different, like they're using their time. You know, some people hate driving.

They hate a car trip. Other people, they're like, oh man, that's my lab. Put me in that car. I'm gonna drive them and think of about the next dream, the next vision, the next sale. They're, I mean, I do. I do. I love driving. That's practices of self-awareness. You are thinking. I think therefore I am. This time that they spend, ruminating, thinking, envisioning, and brainstorming, it's significantly bigger than the average person.

And so in growth, they said, we're going to build the tools to enable that. And that became the most popular thing in there. I thought the most popular thing would be have, you know, we've got the biggest motivational speaker. CCC, I searched $50,000, $100,000 of speech, you know, Mel Robbins and Jenna Kutcher, lots of our friends in their teaching. And they're popular, and people love that because we're live every week with them. But it's the tools. People love to think about their life and they loved track it and they loved it. Look how to improve it. And that's the high performance edge. The ultimate performance edge isn't talent. Right? It's how much does that person think about improving that thing?

It's the practices of growth, right? The great Olympians who you work with and I work with, and the people who are, you know, the highest level CEOs. And they're thinking. You're right. They're thinking, and they're thinking about growth. They're thinking about success. They're thinking about impact.

Instead of thinking about what she wear at that dinner last night, did you see her on that internet? Did you see what he does? Do you hear what they're doing? Oh, those people over there and all the left and the right. There's a difference. Are you thinking growth? Are you thinking gossip?

We just changed your life. My gosh brother, this is so good. You know, it's funny. It's the absence of things in your life you're unaware of, but like you just described me. I don't ever spend any time on that stuff. I mean, literally less than 1 million to 1% of the time. That's not me, me too.

And I love, I'm addicted. I have an addiction to thinking about growth. I have an addiction to thinking about that next scene, that next emotion, that next thing. I can, I literally, I'm addicted to it. I actually love shutting the car door alone. So I'm like, all right, here we go brother. I love that.

I love working out for theirs. I love taking a walk on the beach for that reason. I love it. I actually love the end of my day. I love getting into bed at the end of the day and just reflecting on the day and then dreaming about the next day. Like I love that stuff, right?

I always love waking up because you're in a different brainwaves state at that time. But I love when I go to bed at night and dreaming and you're right on the money man with that stuff. Okay. And you have practices that force you to do that, right? Yes. You go to the gym and you're thinking about those things. Some people pray or they meditate or they

journal and that's where the see you have to put yourself in that place. Yes. To open the gate or to what I always say to be able to receive. Yes. You like, if you're filling your brain with a bunch of stuff that you're downloading from social media, then who can't download into you? Gosh, it's a good word. God can't get in, right? You've blocked the antenna with a bunch of stuff that you're downloading from social media, then who can't download into you? Gosh, it's a good word. God can't get in, right? You blocked the antenna with a bunch of gossip and a bunch of garbage. You got to stay in an open state where you're an open state, you're an open state in a seminar in a conference, you're an open state when you're driving, you're an open state

in the shower, you're open state in bed, you're open state in the gym. You got to stay in that open state so that you can receive guidance as much as you also can envision it because some of the best ideas might not even come from anything you and I just said. But because someone is listening to this podcast right now, they're in an open reception. And that open reception all of a sudden, they got that new business idea. They're like, where did that come from? You were in a learning environment. You were in a self-awareness practice.

That's what podcast listening really is when it's good. And ideas come to you. I listen to podcasts almost every day that I work out. Thank you. And when I'm listening to it, I get all these crazy ideas. It didn't come from what you said or the guest. It's uncorrelated. You open. I was in a place of openness of self-awareness. And so if you want to become a high performer, you have to place yourself there. You have to do the thinking, the rumination, the dreaming, the visioning. And when you do that time and time and time and time again, again, it becomes who you are. You don't have to force it anymore.

It just becomes who you are. That's brilliant, by the way. One of my favorite things at the end of the day, actually my favorite thing is my prayer time. And I do it on my knees, and I have just people say to me all the time, is it a lot like when you're really tired, no, I actually really look forward to that time because sometimes my prayers are four minutes and sometimes they're 45 minutes, depending on how open I am, what I'm receiving,

what I'm getting. I've loved today and I got one more question for you. By the way, everybody, make sure you go to growthday.com or go to the Growth Day app and get it, you will thank me. I think the most important high performance, emotion, should be love or happiness. You said, you know, did I live did I love did I matter? Why I've always wanted to ask you this and I wanted to wait for today

We're at the dinner the other night. I almost asked the table this question. We had a great dinner with you Ben Newman John Gordon or on Macmanis Jamie Curry Lima Pete Pete Vargas, Erica, my sister, we had a great dinner. And if I forgot somebody, I apologize. But almost asked the table this. I thought, no, John, John Gordon, I think I said John, but I absolutely, John was there in Catherine, his wife.

Why aren't more people happy? Hmm. And I know this is the end of the show and my prayers that everybody stayed to the end, but I'm just curious. I know this is a crazy question, but one of the speakers that night asked a question, I don't know what to talk about tomorrow. And I said, just remember this, most people are coming in this event in some form of pain. They're hurting.

And it breaks my heart that I actually know that to be true. But I do know that to be true. It's one of the things that I'm always very cognizant of when I speak is that there's a lot of people in here in some pain. And I'd like to make a dent in that in the universe, you know. So I'm curious with the brilliant people and you are brilliant that I know. Why you think more people aren't happy and what could one do to just begin the journey of loving, living, and maturing more and being happier? Oh, I love that. I think let's begin with most people don't know what happiness is or where they get it. You know, I taught this at your event. It's a simple framework. It's like, draw out a triangle for those who are listening,

draw out a little triangle, and on each of the points, I'll tell you what happiness is. Like the human desire and striving is, we want a sense of liveness. So you need to do more things that make you alive, make you a vibrant, authentic, expressive, make you sense. An example of that would be, give me one.

For some people, it's adventure, go mountain biking. It's like, wow, that just brought me back to life. Some people, it's hanging out with great biking. It's like, wow, that just brought me back to life. Some people, it's hanging out with great friends. Some people, it's doing their passion. Some people, it's just honestly feeling and sensing the moment and meditating. Another thing that everyone wants is connection. Most people today lack the depth of happiness

because they love what you said earlier, the difference between you and maybe Tony, is that you really believe in the environment. And most people lack a connection with other people. They are surface level relationships. You can't be really happy long-term with surface level relationships. So you gotta find out, how do I connect more deeply?

And it can be simple things like you talked about. You know what the kids, maybe less than texting, call them, have that moment of connection. It's not crazy, but that's what you're striving for. You want happiness with your kids. You're gonna call them. You're gonna connect with them. So think about connection relationships,

a level of depth. Then we want meaningful pursuits. When I go after that, I just, I love that pursuit. And notice it doesn't say meaning. A lot of people just say meaning. I said, no, it's meaningful pursuits. Because a lot of people we know who are really successful, they've already had a meaningful life.

They're miserable because they're not pursuing anything anymore. Gosh, Brennan, that's so true. You got that, you got that pursuit, man. You got to find a pursuit. It has meaning to you. It brings you back to life. That's happiness.

And then the middle of the triangle is the capital G. Growth. If you don't have aliveness, you don't have connection, you don't have meaningful pursuits, and you don't have growth, you're miserable. We can bank on it, we can guarantee it, the research will reveal it every single time. But if we can get you a little bit more alive, a little bit more connected, a little bit more meaningful pursuits,

and a little bit more growth, those, like little bit in each of those, it's like a thunderous shift in your life. You're just like, whoa, little bits in each of those, it's like a thunderous shift in your life. You're just like, whoa, little bits in those. But there's an access point. Why aren't most people happy? Let's say they do all those things. Still not happy? And they're just not here.

Hmm. Presence is the gateway to happiness. Hmm. I can't get your present to feel it, sense it can't change what most people want in real like what they really want all the people I work with maybe the people you work with what they really want they'll never say it and they'll almost have never know it what almost every human being wants is they want to feel the day more. They got all these activities they they're blazing through.

Get the kids to school. Get this off to there. Get that done. Answer that email. Get this project done. And even if they're moving towards things, they find meaningful and they're awesome. But if they don't feel it, if they're literally not present, they're not mindful enough to sense it, to appreciate, to feel grateful, to feel the joy, to feel the ups, to feel the

downs, to feel the miseries, to feel the winds. If you aren't feeling the day, you're just blazing through as an automaton, you're just blazing through the days, you know, on autopilot, you're just like overwhelmed, stressed going through it, but you don't feel the day. I can't get you to be happy. So the gateway to all of happiness is always presence. Learn to be more present in the moment. Feel the moment.

Even the bad ones, you got to feel the day more so that when you get on your knees at night to pray, you felt the day. Dear God, thank you. I felt this day. I felt those lessons you gave me. I felt those gifts you gave me. I felt, thank you for that connection. See, when you talk to God, if you don't feel, there's not a relationship there.

God wants you to feel. It's a unique thing he gave us, not just the emotional reaction of an animal, but the ability to deeply appreciate feeling, very human. So we've got to tap people back into present to deeply appreciate the moments, the feelings, the events of life again. And I think that's why I'm so happy. It's like, I feel so much. Most people are so scared of that. I love it. It makes me feel alive.

Right? How do you sense more aliveness? You have to feel the day. Feel the moment. Brandon. Oh, I love you, brother. That's so good. I'm thinking about what I'm just thinking about what you said. I'm thinking, why didn't I just love this hour so much?

One, I had tremendous aliveness, right? Deep connection to you. I know this was a meaningful pursuit we did. I know both of us grew and we helped other people grow, and I was fully present. Yes. You're a hundred percent right, brother. You're so awesome. Thank you for today.

Thank you. I just knew. I knew if you got there. I knew. People don't know. We didn't really plan out this day. Not at all. It was just highly unusual for both of us. I'm so excited just to be here.

I'm so excited. And I love you. And I'm so excited about growth day, you guys. Do three things for me today. Okay. You already follow Brenna, but you don't make sure you follow, that's not one of the things, because you should just be doing that.

And you follow me or you wouldn't be here in this. Go get involved with growth day. Number one, go get the power of one more. And go check out my show Change with Ed Mylet on Nozy YouTube. We need more people seeing that so that it can continue. And today was, it flew by. I'm looking at the clock. I'm like, we've already been doing this for an hour.

That blows my mind. Wow. So thank you, brother. I love you. Thank you. All right, everybody. God bless you. Max out your life.

This is the end My Let's Show.