THE ED MYLETT SHOW - How to Become a Super Communicator And Change Your Life

Episode Date: June 1, 2024

WORDS have POWER. This FLASHBACK MASHUP episode will teach you how to HARNESS that power by becoming a master communicator. You’ll hear profound teachings from me and one of the greatest communicato...rs on the planet, John Maxwell. This episode is packed with valuable strategies that will up your communication and leadership game by leaps and bounds. We’re bringing you our practical and actionable communication skills including insights on: - The 3 Stages of Communication - How to Increase Your Influence - The LAW OF CONNECTING - The power of telling a GREAT STORY - Key Lessons from 13,000 Speaking Engagements - The difference between talking about FAILURES vs. SUCCESSES - Build a Powerful Movement in Business & Life I've always said that the ability to communicate effectively is a major component of what separates the good from the great. Whether you're leading a team, building a business, or just trying to make meaningful connections, how you express yourself and connect with others is crucial. Grab a pen and paper and dive into this communication MASTERCLASS! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:27 See ebaymotors.com. So hey guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now? Maybe stunted in your progress? Well, if you are, I want to recommend a place for you to go called Growth Day. GrowthDay.com forward slash ed. It is the number one personal development app on the planet. It's got all kinds of high performance techniques in there courses, accountability, journaling, live speeches from some of the top influencers in the
Starting point is 00:00:51 world, including me. It's an overall environment to change your life. growthday.com forward slash ed. You do something you talk about in the book. We might as well just start there. You have the ability to take really complicated things and make them seem simple. Yeah, and you talk about that as actually one of the laws in the book of being able to be a great communicator. Is that something that you do, I'm sure you do it intentionally, but do you do it naturally?
Starting point is 00:01:15 Well, I do it intentionally. Let me say this. I was a good student, but I wasn't a great student. And so a lot of times when I was in college or in a classroom, I would want the professor to break it down and make it much more simple. I would look around the room and I said, am I the only one that's having a hard time here and not maybe grasping and learning like I need to? And so really as a student, I worked on helping.
Starting point is 00:01:44 When I would hear a talk, I would say, how could that be reduced so I can apply it to my life Yeah, and so it almost started as a as a student And and I learned it to reduce things and bring them down and I tell people all the time I'm a communicator not an educator, you know an educator takes something simple and makes it complicated I mean, that's just who they are I mean, honestly if you're in the education world, if you're not confused, they're not pleased. You know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:02:09 And then a communicator takes something complicated, makes it simple. And so my whole goal is to make things very palatable for people. One of the things I teach in the book is the fact that if you have to keep explaining what you just said, you haven't said it right the first time. I mean, and how many times we have a person explain and explain. I just sit there and think, why didn't there are three kind of, I take the simplistic, I start with simplistic, and simplistic is not good. It's fast and it's easy, but it's
Starting point is 00:02:55 not really deep and helpful. And it's a half truth, it's never a whole truth. You know, so if I say things like, experience is the best teacher, that's a half truth. It's never a whole truth. So if I say things like experience is the best teacher, that's a simplistic statement. But it's not true. If it were true, then as people got older, everybody get better. And I know a whole bunch of people, they're getting older, but they're not getting better.
Starting point is 00:03:16 The experience isn't helping them at all. Although experience is not the best teacher, reflection and learning from that experience is the best teacher. So how do I get from experience is the best teacher. So how do I get from experience as the best teacher to reflection and learning from experience as the best teacher? Well, you've got to go from simplistic to complicated or complex. In other words, you've got to wrestle with the statements.
Starting point is 00:03:40 And you've got to contextually take them from every angle until you can come to something that is really solid and something that is really true and something that really works. And so just as simplistic as easy and fast, you know, complex, complicated is slow and deep. But once you come through that, and it takes a while to do that,
Starting point is 00:04:03 once you come through it,, and it takes a while to do that. Once you come through it on the on the simple side now, it's fast, but it's deep. In other words, people can grab it real quick, but then they go home and they think about it and they just can't get away from it. Like when you wrote the book, when you wrote the book, The Power of One More, that is so simple that you can grasp it immediately. But you can't, you have to spend a lot of time on it to work it out in your life. What a great point. Yeah, what a great point. And so there, so here's the here's the issue. I think in communication,
Starting point is 00:04:46 when I was young, when I was a young communicator, I saw that I had charisma, and I saw that I could probably get by on stage with having fun with people and enjoying them and making them laugh. And I came to this decision, am I gonna wing it or am I gonna work for it? And I was tempted to this decision, am I going to wing it or am I going to work for it? And I was tempted to wing it because I could wing it and I could get by with it.
Starting point is 00:05:11 See, here's the challenge. When you're gifted in a certain area, you can wing it and still be successful. Right. You can be in that top 20 percent. Yes. But to work for it, that's a whole different game. In the law of simplicity, you have to work for this. You have to work simple is hard work. But if you work for it, you can get in the top 2%.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Yeah. And so what I tell people all the time is, the tendency and the temptation is in giftedness is you don't give it all, because you just don't have to give it all. I mean, it just, it comes. But because you don't give it all, you do well, but you don't do very, very well. But if you would just work on that area of giftedness, you'd get that top 2%, and you know as well as I do,
Starting point is 00:05:59 if you're in the top 2%, whatever it is, you own whatever you wanna own. The world is yours. And so simple, I decided at a very young age, in my 20s, I was gonna work for it. I was just gonna work for it. And I spent a lot of time, this morning I write every day. This morning I was writing
Starting point is 00:06:16 and I was wanting to make a statement. And I worked on a statement probably for 40 minutes. And I would write it, and I said, that's not quite right, gotta work, no, no, it's done, it's done, it's done, it's done. Still in the fit. And then finally about 20 minutes later, I thought, okay, I got it, there it is, there it is.
Starting point is 00:06:33 So I get up and I make the statement, and people say, oh my gosh, that guy just, that just flows out of him. No, no, it didn't flow out of me. It didn't either, it had to cook and work it inside of me a long time, but I get it to the place where it flows out of me. It didn't either... it had to cook and work it inside of me a long time and but I get it to the place where it flows out of me. But yes, it doesn't flow. Good stuff doesn't happen automatically. You know what I'm saying? When I tell people that I do
Starting point is 00:06:57 that too that are other speakers, I kind of watch often times their face kind of glaze over like you really do that. I say I do because I do want to... I want to be as effective as I can. By the way, I should have started out by saying to everybody that you can go to 16lawsofcommunication.com and that's with the 1-6 in it. 16lawsofcommunication.com. You get the book and I guess there's favorable pricing in there too. You can actually get it for less. So 16lawsofcommunication.com and you'll get it. Listen, I can just say this with all conviction in the world. The best books I've read collectively in my life are John's books and the best speaker that I admire that I look up to is John. So when
Starting point is 00:07:33 he writes a book on this topic, it is something that you need to have. And for the record everybody, some of you are listening to this and going, I'm afraid to speak. I don't know that I should be one. And one of the brilliant things in the book is, and I'll have you talk about this John, know that I should be one. And one of the brilliant things in the book is, and I'll have you talk about this, John, is that a great speaker, and I have found this, I think when I was young, when I would speak, if I'm being honest, part of it was about me. Probably a significant part, meaning I wanted to impress them. I wanted to wow them, you know. I wanted them to think I was great. That did a few things. One, I made less of a connection, but two, it put tremendous pressure on me because it was about me.
Starting point is 00:08:14 And a lot of you that are afraid of speaking, that would probably be great at it, it's because you're approaching it already from it being about you, and if you would just shift the impact to the service of others, your piece about even trying to do it would change and you'd be a 10 times better speaker. So that's one of the laws in the book too. So we might as well start there because I think some people need to come into this tent of speaking, John, to the tent of communication that thinks they don't belong in our tent and they do belong in the tent. Their flawed thinking is they think it's about them and that creates anxiety and fear, which is sort of ego driven. So talk about that for a second. 100% my friend, 100%. It's the law of connecting and the law of connecting just simply says
Starting point is 00:08:54 communicators know that it's all about others. It's all about others and I can identify exactly. When I started speaking it was all about me. I mean I hope they like me, I hope I say it right. Did I say it right? Oh my gosh. And it became like I was a nervous bundle. Yes. Because I was, man, I hope I did OK.
Starting point is 00:09:16 So when people say, John, what's the one thing? I know there are 16 laws, but what's the one thing? To be a great communicator. Well, the one thing, Ed, is you have to get over yourself. You have to get over yourself. It is not about me. It's about the audience. It's not about me.
Starting point is 00:09:35 It's about the small group I'm dealing with. It's not about me. It's about the one person I'm talking to having a one-on-one conversation. It's all about them. And until I can get over myself, if I can't if it's about me I can't I can't really add value to you if I'm thinking about me. I'm not that good I don't have the ability to think about me and think about you and be good on both ends
Starting point is 00:09:55 I'm a little limited. Maybe somebody maybe some people can but I can't so if it's going to be about you I've got to be thinking about you and I've gotta be focused on you. And very quickly you'll realize, John really wants to help me and add value to me. I mean, it's contagious and it's that connection. So I tell people to get over themselves. And so when this book released, we did a video and I told the people that were producing,
Starting point is 00:10:24 I said, I wanna start the video in the audience. When this book released, we did a video. And I told the people that were producing, I said, I want to start the video in the audience. I said, I don't want you to shoot me on stage. And I was in the audience all by myself sitting in a chair. And they zoomed in on me. And I said, this is where great speaking begins, right here. I have to constantly be thinking about the people. And how can I connect with them?
Starting point is 00:10:48 What can I say? How can I help them? Where are they? You have to find them before you can lead them. You just don't start leading people. You just don't start speaking. You have to find them. And soon as you find them, now all of a sudden,
Starting point is 00:11:02 you have the credit. So this whole get over myself, let me tell you a fun story. There's a company in Nashville. This guy has a very successful writing company. And he's read my books. He's fact he came to me. I didn't know him. He said, I built my business off your stuff.
Starting point is 00:11:18 And he said, you ought to write songs based on your books. Well, I looked at him and said, man, I've never done that before, but you know me. I'm 76. But I keep growing. I keep learning. I mean, why not try this? So I went to Nashville, and he put me in the studio with
Starting point is 00:11:34 guys that wrote number one hits. I mean, big hits. I always say, if you're at the head of the class, you're in the wrong class. I shouldn't even even been in the class on this one. I mean, these guys were pros and I'm in there throwing that. And so we took the book on the laws of communication. And I said, I would like to use the get over myself theme. And so we wrote a song called Get Over Myself.
Starting point is 00:12:00 And so if you're a listener, all you gotta do is go wherever you, I don't know where you get your your music But wherever you get it just you know get get over myself and the chorus says and the chorus says it all is it I got to find myself to know myself. I got to know myself to be myself I got to be myself to improve myself. I got to improve myself so I can get over myself So I can give myself to you. Oh, wow, that's very good. The song is going crazy.
Starting point is 00:12:29 The song's going crazy. I got another one from my book, Make Today Count called Day by Day. And I got my Sometimes When, Sometimes You Learn book, or songs will come out next month. But I'm having a blast writing these songs. And of course, again, I'm the least of the least. And they're so kind to even let me in the studio with them.
Starting point is 00:12:49 But I'm throwing this stuff up, and we're just having a blast. But I tell you, the moment that you think about the audience, and I can hardly wait to speak. I'm not nervous at all. I can hardly wait to speak, because I'm going to go out, and I'm going to give them something that is going to help their life. And that is so fulfilling and so enriching to me that it gets me over anything that is about me. Yeah. Are you getting ready to win a Grammy?
Starting point is 00:13:19 This will be great. You're going to win a Grammy for your music now. I have no idea but I know I'm having fun. You know again. I don't know if you all understand this. John's 76 years old and I think you all go, hey man, you work hard. They see my social media and my pace and I am telling you this is not, this is not, I'm not being nice. John is everywhere all the time, crushing it, crushing it. Yet, like before he went on, he's telling me about golf that he just played. There's a way to have, I think one of the keys to longevity is that you do live a full rich life, but you do bust your tail the entire time. John is, I've been with John's, but I just got
Starting point is 00:14:01 from Europe. I'm going here, now I'm in Tennessee. Oh, I got a flight to California. My gosh, am I getting outworked by John? And by the way, you can tell his enthusiasm level is through the roof as well. I want to ask you this though. Did you just say you're not nervous when you speak? Do you not get nerves at all anymore? No, no. Have you had, I think you tell a story though, a time you did.
Starting point is 00:14:19 I think you're going to Boston. I think it's going to Boston maybe. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I study you. So you're going to Boston as I think the story goes, you were replacing a speaker or something. But there's a great lesson in this story. Do you know the one I'm talking about? Oh yeah, you're talking about Peter Lowe when he had his seminars again. And he called me one day and I was home and he said that, oh gosh, the guy that was Superman in the movies.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Chris Reeves. Yeah, what's his name? Reeves. Christopher Reeves. Yeah, Christopher Reeves. Okay, he was sick and he was the last speaker on the day and he said, I can't speak today. And so Peter says, he called me in the morning
Starting point is 00:15:05 and said, John, can you get up to Boston and fill in? I said, well, yeah. So I jumped on a plane and I went up to Boston. And I got there just maybe 30 minutes before I was supposed to speak. And so I'm kind of backstage, they're getting me all hooked up. And then I find out they haven't told the crowd. Hello. And then I find out they haven't told the crowd. Hello! They haven't told the crowd.
Starting point is 00:15:30 And the Chris Babariz is sick and isn't going to be here. The crowd, they've been staying all day waiting for Superman to come and show. And I'm backstage saying, you haven't told them yet? What do you mean? What are you doing to me? They're looking for Superman. They're not going to get Superman. They're going to get the Pillsbury Doughboy out there.
Starting point is 00:15:53 They're not getting Superman. They're getting Fat Man. I kid you not. They went out right before. Now they're all, Chris, here here he comes Superman's about to come Sure, and they sure we're so sorry, you know Christopher East couldn't come today We have John Maxwell well 300 people get up and walk out as I'm coming out on stage. They're already leaving
Starting point is 00:16:24 I mean they are already leaving and then when they see me another 200 people get up and walk out as I'm coming out on stage and are already leaving. I mean, they are already leaving. And then when they see me, another 200 people get up and they leave. And it's like it's like horrible. And I looked at it, but of course, all you could do is you just start laughing and say, you know, I'm so sorry. You know what I'm saying? I go. Now, the good news is once I started speaking, one else left. But yeah I mean hello I mean who's gonna who's gonna replace Superman. Did you say something when you came out to grab their
Starting point is 00:16:55 attention or to get them or to connect with them? Did you say something that saved them? I said guess what I'm not Superman. I'm in trouble, and you're going to have to help me. But if you'll stay with me, I'm going to help you. And you know what I did? God, I'm on my side. Really what I did is what you do in cases like this, like the international audience when I speak internationally, I ask them questions all the time.
Starting point is 00:17:21 I'll say, now, I want to tell you a story, but does this happen in your culture? And sometimes they'll say yes, and I'll say now, I want to tell you a story, but does this happen in your culture? And sometimes they'll say yes, and I'll say, okay, let me tell you. What happens is if you do that, you engage them, and very quickly they become an ally, and they get on your side. And so they help me. When they realized that I wasn't Superman, they said, well, Fat Man needs my help. I'm going to hang out with him and they did and so it came out okay but obviously I was set up I mean I was set up for there's no there's no goody thing about I mean when I saw that on back never in my life have I been more tempted to turn around oh my gosh I can't even imagine hey not only a
Starting point is 00:17:59 Superman sick fat man just got sick you know I'm actually crying I'm actually crying thinking about it. And by the way, you guys, I know that because he's my dear friend I say this, but I want you to get this book. I just really believe that more people could be great communicators than believe, than actually think they can be. And so go to 16lawsofcommunication.com and get John's book. The thing that John I think is maybe the best I've ever seen at and it's one of the laws, it's law number 12 in the book. You have to read the book to get all the laws everybody. We're gonna go through a few of them today. But one of the laws in the book and by the way
Starting point is 00:18:35 you all are good at this, you just need to work on the skill because there's certain areas of your life you're already great at it and that is that I think great speakers, in fact my favorite people to be around at a dinner or a lunch are storytellers. Oh, yeah. People who can tell a story. And law number 12 is the law of storytelling, which you just did so well right there. But elaborate on that a little bit of, because I watch a lot of speakers throw a bunch of facts in PowerPoint and slide this and slide that. And I'm like, facts tell, but stories sell, right? right like I want to hear a story I'm gonna remember the story so talk about that a little bit. Well you know what I think when you're with us the last time you're talking a lot about the story of your father. You know
Starting point is 00:19:17 it just what it does is it humanizes the speech. When you tell a story immediately you're telling their story because when I tell a story we all have commonness in our life and all of us have commonness and experiences. That's why when you're in a group and somebody tells a story what's it do it triggers somebody else's oh and I remember I remember doing and all of a, you're going around the table and you're just bouncing off each other. But what happens is stories stimulate our own personal journey and our own personal stories.
Starting point is 00:19:53 And it becomes something that everybody can identify with. I grew up as a theologue, so I was trained in theology. And basically, one of the things they taught me, which was terrible, is they said, don't tell personal stories, because it'll make people think that you're kind of like a narcissist or an egomaniac.
Starting point is 00:20:16 And so for about, for my first year, I didn't tell any personal stories, I just told stories. And they were good. But one day I just told a personal story and everything came alive and what I found out was that when I tell my story it lives in me. And it has, when I'm teaching a lesson or I'm speaking, I can either transfer information from me to you,
Starting point is 00:20:42 which is not effective at all, or if it goes through me to you, which is not effective at all. Or if it goes through me to you. There's a difference between coming from me to you and through me to you. And so whenever I'm doing my writing of a lesson, I always make sure that I have some personal illustrations in it. And I always and ask. And the other thing is I ask myself when I'm doing that, do I live this? Is this something I'm living? Because when I was young in my 20s, Ed,
Starting point is 00:21:09 I made an important decision that I was only gonna teach what I lived and what I believed. And I just wasn't gonna teach. And so there are a lot of things I don't teach at all. And some of them are probably very good, but I just don't live them, or I maybe don't believe them. And what I found is personal conviction, moral authority comes from the life that you've lived.
Starting point is 00:21:36 And so we teach you what we know, but we reproduce who we are. Oh my gosh. And stories are who we are. And Ed, stories are who we are. And they're, they're so transferable. Do people remember numbers? Do people not remember stats? I don't even use like, I don't know, charts and things like that. Honestly. And the reason I don't use them is because I never understood them
Starting point is 00:21:59 myself. And so it's kind of like, if I can't figure them out, if you can't figure them out, you sure can't teach them, that's for sure. And so so but stories live that they have they have breath to them and and they draw the people in immediately and When you know when you again when you were at our conference you were so superb You were so super and you started talking about your relationship with your dad Everybody had a relationship with a dad. Yeah, by the way, so did you.
Starting point is 00:22:26 I want to acknowledge something about you. I want to say one thing, everybody. I was just sitting here listening to you. I was thinking, man, this is pretty cool for people to listen to two of the more sought after speakers in the world talk about this topic. And then the best, John, has written this book about it. But that day, so by the way, what I try to do is try a me story with a you meaning. Oh, yeah. Yeah, meaning I'm telling a story about me do is try a me story with a you meaning. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:45 Yeah, meaning I'm telling a story about me but you're getting your own meaning from it. That's an important key everybody when you tell stories and John's the master at this. But that day, the other thing it does is it gives you more dimension. So what they see when you walk out on stage is the current version of you and when you begin to tell stories about different times in your life, it gives you dimension and it actually alters their perspective and time of you. So even that day, and I know you well,
Starting point is 00:23:11 after I spoke, it doesn't matter what the story was, everybody, but John then got up and actually, I don't know if you remember this, John, you talked about your dad and lessons he had taught you and what a prayerful, good man he was and lessons. And what it did, it's interesting, because even now when I see you, it's different. I just want to tell you the impact a story can have.
Starting point is 00:23:28 I pictured you as a little boy. And so I've always admired you as a mentor, but you're older than me. You were always like, when I started in this space, the first book I read was your leadership book, right? The Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. And so I've always pictured you at this version of your life and when you started to tell this story about your dad, it switched and now I
Starting point is 00:23:48 could see you as a little boy. And then I saw you in your 30s because the story was from those times. And it gave a depth and a connection that went far deeper, not just the story, but a different time in our lives. Gives you a dimension when you speak and it's actually now when I see you, I actually see the little boy and the man that I admire. And it's very deep connection when somebody does that. And that day you were emotional speaking about your dad as well.
Starting point is 00:24:15 But I just want to acknowledge that. Something that I noticed when you did it that day for me, because I've watched a lot of speakers. And that's the thing. Can I jump in on that just for a second? Because this is so helpful because I love your dimension phrase because that's exactly right. If I could have one wish granted, you see people are seeing me on the back end and they're seeing me where all the success is. And it's compounded through the years.
Starting point is 00:24:45 It's just compound. And what I say is in the beginning, you're not as bad as people think you are, but if you do it right, in the end, you're not as good as people think you are. Because it compounds. And if I had one wish yet, it would be the people could have seen me in the beginning.
Starting point is 00:25:02 What would they see? Well, they would have seen a person that wasn't a very good communicator They they would they would have Here's why I want them to see me in the beginning if they saw me in the beginning Everybody would have great hope for themselves. Hmm If they saw me in the beginning every person would say I can do that That's as reachable as could be. That guy wasn't that good. I can bore people for 35 minutes like he just bored me.
Starting point is 00:25:33 Because one of the things I don't like about success is it separates us from people. And I hate that. I don't want fans. I want friends. I want to close that gap. But at this age, it's hard to close the gap because the image. Okay, I've spoken 13,000 times in over a hundred countries of the world
Starting point is 00:25:52 Of course, I'm a great communicator if I can't communicate after 13,000 times go home You chose the wrong profession go home boy you fuck But what people don't understand, it was the practice. You cannot separate action from success. And you can't separate intentional practice from success. And so after 13,000 times, of course I'm good because I've been practicing and practicing and practicing, just like the people that are on the podcast right now. They'll be good too. But if they
Starting point is 00:26:28 could have seen me on the front end, it would have helped them because that's where they are. When you talked about the dimensions of stories, when we tell stories about different times in our life, it does help people see us in another dimension that is very helpful for the learning and the growth. But I don't like the separation that success brings. I abhor it. I wish there was a way to close that gap because you don't help people when you're separated from people. You only help people when you're beside them and you walk with them and they can connect
Starting point is 00:27:03 with you, if that makes sense. Yeah, you said something to me once. I'll mess the quote up, but I actually quote you when I speak, because I also believe self-deprecation, making fun of yourself, is a great way to connect with people if it's true and sincere, right, when you speak. And I messed the quote up all the time, but I actually quote you in the current version of what I'm talking about, and I quote something you said to me. I quoted incorrectly, but it goes along these lines that at you said to me add something like if you really want to Impress people show them how perfect you are But if you want to connect with people reveal to them your imperfections Totally, it's an impress impact if you want to impress people talk about your success
Starting point is 00:27:43 You want to impact them talk about your success. If you want to impact them, talk about your failures. The reason I think that's important is because I think a lot of people think they have to have all these impressive things they've achieved in their life prior to making an impact on people. Now, I do believe you should have some type of a track record and have done something when you're speaking about it. But I don't believe you have to be this tremendous success in order to make an impact. In fact, I think sometimes that your proximity to the audience in terms of how far you are from them in your success, some of that proximity is actually a really good thing and that that success does separate you if you're not careful from the audience. One of the things that you do when you speak, this is subtle and it's maybe too subtle to share on the podcast, but I watch it in you and it's something that I think is, it's probably
Starting point is 00:28:27 one of the only other two laws we'll cover because I want them to get the book. But you use, better than anyone ever, silence when you speak. Yeah. You use it. And my stand-up comedian friends always tell me when I speak, Ed, the funny is after the jokes told, it's in the silence. And when I speak, Ed, the funny is after the jokes told, it's in the silence. And when I speak, the biggest change in my speaking over the years is my comfort level with silence when I talk. That an amateur speaker or a newer speaker doesn't like silence. They talk too fast and they talk too much in my opinion. You are the all time best at the pause
Starting point is 00:29:08 and the moment in between the words so that it makes an impact. I make mistakes sometimes, even still to this day, John, where I've made an impact and I go right into the next thing and I don't let that impact sit with the audience long enough, so please talk about that. Yeah, I love to. I call it in the book the power of the pause.
Starting point is 00:29:26 And I'm very intentional. Let me just say, first of all, in my coaching with people, I find that the hardest thing to coach people in speaking is the pause. And for a long time, I kept asking myself, Ed, why is it that when I share with them that they need to pause more, that they don't do it? And I finally came up with the answer.
Starting point is 00:29:46 In fact, when I was writing the book, it finally hit me. The reason that we're uncomfortable when we speak with pausing is the moment I stop, I give up control to the audience. Very good. And we subconsciously don't wanna give up control. We wanna control, we know where we want to go with the speech and here's where we are.
Starting point is 00:30:07 And so we keep talking, talking, talking, talking. I got control, I got control. When I stop all of a sudden, I allow the audience to think. And just like your comedian friends, they're exactly right. That pause is where what they said that was really funny, I'll tell you what the pause does. The pause underlines your words. So when I say something like people don't care
Starting point is 00:30:32 how much you know until they know how much you care, if I pause, wow, the people are on that thought. They're underlining that thought mentally. If I don't pause, I immediately move them on. And what I do is most speakers, they play catch up the whole time. Most speakers get in front of their audience and they speak without pausing,
Starting point is 00:30:55 without giving that time for people. And so what happens is the people are trying to catch up with them the whole time. And they're never with them because they're behind them. And if somebody's behind me, whatever I'm saying doesn't have its full effect. So that pause is so huge because it gives the audience a chance. What basically I'm saying is you can catch up with me.
Starting point is 00:31:19 I'm going to let you catch up. So good. And then when I pause and I turn around and I walk back to my to my bar stool and sit down and then look at them it's entirely different. Man. I remember in school when if the kids were rowdy what would the school teacher do sometimes? They would just stop talking. And finally, even the kid that talked the most, all of a sudden everybody is very conscious,
Starting point is 00:31:51 nobody's talking. And the teacher got control of the room by not saying anything until everybody got up to speed with it, if that makes sense. And the pause is so powerful for transition. It's a powerful pivoting tool. And it allows, I'll tell you what else it does, it allows people to feel emotionally. If we speak fast all the time,
Starting point is 00:32:20 they can't feel emotionally the words. And if they can't feel emotionally the words, the words don't have the same impact on them. I'm receiving them mentally, but when I pause they now can, they can digest those words. Jeez, wow. And they can put them on the inside.
Starting point is 00:32:35 And now all of a sudden, I'm emotionally connected with you, Ed, because you just gave me a chance not only to hear what you said, you gave me a chance to go down inside of me and feel what you said, which is just absolutely huge. And one more thing, I mean, the pause is just powerful. And I think this is a big mess.
Starting point is 00:32:57 I think that when you pause, you give people a chance to hear the whisper. And you know I'm a person of faith, not trying to throw that on anyone else, but when you say things that are substantial and things that have meat to them and have application to them, if you pause sometimes, what you said,
Starting point is 00:33:23 God, the spirit, whatever, whispers to your heart. In fact, I ask myself when I hear a speaker, did I hear the whisperer anytime during the speech? And I can only hear the whisper if the speaker lets me have a little time, not long, a couple seconds, just to settle in and hear. And Henry Nowman said, silence is an act of war
Starting point is 00:33:52 against the competing voices within us. And I just think, I love that statement. Henry Nowman was a great thinker, great, great, he was a great man. And I, but I love it. And I think it's my responsibility. I want them to hear my voice, but there's a higher voice. That's a master class right there.
Starting point is 00:34:15 That's a master class. If I pause, Ed, I give them a shot of hearing the higher voice. And let me tell you this, my voice, they'll forget. The higher voice, they let me tell you this, my voice they'll forget. The higher voice they will not forget. All time right there. All time right there. That's an all-timer. You guys, as someone who does a lot of this, I can tell you right now that is profound wisdom right there. And something that you feel it. When that higher voice is
Starting point is 00:34:44 whispering to you, you feel it. You don't hear it. You feel it when that higher voice is whispering to you, you feel it. You don't hear it. You feel it. And that's when a speaker has done an unbelievable job as they get out of the way and let that higher voice make the impact on you. And that's what you did at L2L when you're with us. That's exactly what you did. I promise you, you've learned the pause. You've learned it. Hey, I learned it from a beautiful African American preacher in South Los Angeles in the Watts area. And I would go up and speak for him, we were friends. E.V. Hill was his name, E.V. Hill, he's passed away.
Starting point is 00:35:17 And I watched him. And when he got to something that was really important, what he did is, the pause also creates great anticipation. And he would get us right to where we were ready to hear this unfolding, unbelievable thought. And I'll never forget. Take a handkerchief, kind of wipe his face, walk around to the other side of the pulpit, lean in, and then deliver it. And I would watch him, and I'd say, oh, I want to be
Starting point is 00:35:58 just like that. I never got that good, but I've tried. It's not that true. I want to say this. I swear to you, I don't want this just to be a love affair with you on the show, but I want everyone to understand this. I learned that from you. And I'm not saying that because he's here. I looked at my speaking, I thought, what is this thing he does?
Starting point is 00:36:23 Because John, when he was a little younger, would still stand still most of his speech. Didn't move around a lot. He wasn't a big pacer. He did some. But now when John speaks, he's even better, and oftentimes he's seated most of the time. And I'm like, how does he do this? And it's these unbelievable pauses before a profound statement and after. And he is the best at this. And the reason he's the best at it is because of his faith background. And it is that. It's that he does understand that there's a higher voice. And so I got that from you. And it's something, by the way, forget stage speaking everybody. I do that with my children now when I make a point. Of course. I do it and I do it with my my wife. I want to say something and
Starting point is 00:37:12 just let it sit there and feel it and not move on to the next thing. It's where I learned it. It's remarkable. A couple more things because I want to make sure everybody gets the book. So 16lawsofcommunication.com by the single greatest author on, I say thought leader, leadership expert, communication expert, I think life expert. When you get to 76 and you've traveled around the world and impacted millions of people, you become somebody who knows a lot about life. So hey guys, as you know, I've partnered up with my good friend Brennan Bruchard,
Starting point is 00:37:44 who's created the greatest personal development system that has ever been designed called Growth Day. There's everything from journaling to accountability programs, live messages every Monday from myself and other influencers. There's an opportunity for you to get courses that would cost thousands of dollars completely for free. It's incredible.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Go to growthday.com forward slash ed and check it out. I think that first, the beginning place is, I think most people don't see themselves as a leader. Just that in and of itself, I think most people don't see themselves that way, that it's some mystical role in life. What would you say to somebody who says, I just don't know that I am a leader or could be a leader?
Starting point is 00:38:20 Well, everybody's a leader because leadership is influence. That's what it is. And that has been, that has, that definition of leadership has served me so well for so many years. It's, in fact, in my book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, there's the law, you know, the leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. So when somebody says they're not a leader, I said, well, let me ask you a question. Do you influence anybody? Sure. And almost always, almost. I've had a couple maybe.
Starting point is 00:38:48 I'm not sure. But almost always, I'll say, well, yeah. I mean, you have children. OK, OK. You got your family. So yes. Now, it may be a little influence. It may be 8, 10 people.
Starting point is 00:38:57 It may not be. But I look at them and say, OK, if you influence 8 or 10 people, you are a leader. See, what people think is they've got to have some kind of a title or position to be a leader. And so they say, well, I don't have a leadership position, so I'm are a leader. See what people think is they've got to have some kind of a title or position to be a leader. And so they say, well I you know I don't have a leadership position so I'm not a leader. Well you and I both know the position doesn't make you a leader anyway. It gives you a chance to practice leadership. It doesn't make you a leader. So what I tell people is this, leadership
Starting point is 00:39:19 is influence. So how do I increase my influence? Because if I influence 10 and next month I influence 20, wow, I've doubled my leadership influence. So how do I do that? And it's a very simple answer. To increase your influence, you have to intentionally add value to people. This is where it all begins. So Ed, let's say that I want to have increased influence with you.
Starting point is 00:39:46 Well, my first question isn't, boy, I hope that Ed will follow me. The first question I ask is, how can I serve you? What can I do to add value to you? So I'm going to ask you, how can I serve you? What can I do to help you? In fact, what's interesting, before we had this interview, I mean, it was cracking me up.
Starting point is 00:40:01 We were kind of trying to out-serve each other. It's true. Well, what can I do for you? That's right. And it was a beautiful thing, because all we were really doing're kind of trying to out-serve each other. What can I do for you? It was a beautiful thing because all we were really doing is I'm trying to help you. And here's what I know. If I sincerely add value to you, my influence will increase with you. That's a fact. So we don't need to make leadership complicated. Just go out and intentionally add value to people and your influence pool begins to expand. And after a while I'm becoming quite a
Starting point is 00:40:30 leader. So leadership is a title position. It's all about adding value and serving and making a difference in other people's lives. In order to do that, a lot of people are gonna build an organization, build a team, they'll be in some sort of an environment like that. Nobody wins alone, seems like in life. That's a fact. You tell, I was listening to the story you were telling and I'd like you to share it about, you know, there's the analogy of getting people in the right seats on the bus, but you have this wonderful story about when you played basketball. Yeah. About at the end of practice your coach would do something
Starting point is 00:41:01 very unique. This is absolutely illustrates this point so beautifully. You don't mind saying that. No it's a beautiful point. He would have the first team, the better players, five players, play the second team and the only thing that he would do is he would put we who were on the first team out of position and he always stuck me. I was a number two guard but he always stuck me under the basket guarding a guy named Doug Roth that was six foot eight, okay? And he'd put maybe our center out there with the point guard.
Starting point is 00:41:33 Well, he's put us out of position, and then he said, now stay in your position and play the 20. Well, what would happen is, the first team would always lose. And he'd sit us back down and say, now, did you lose because of talent? No, did you lose?
Starting point is 00:41:46 No, no, you lost for one reason, you were out of position. And remember this, whenever you're out of position, you're gonna lose. Well, what they did is, I mean, I'm guarding a six foot eight guy, they just throw a high pass to him. He just dropping that belt over me the whole time. Well, and so it was a great teaching for me
Starting point is 00:42:03 that no matter how gifted you are, no matter how committed you are, if you're out of position, you're not going to be successful. That's why everybody needs to find their sweet spot. What do I really do well? Yes. And on that, there's a point that I really want to make, and that is I tell people if you want to be highly successful, you've got to get into what I call the top 5%. So you've got 100 people.
Starting point is 00:42:27 You've got 100 people here in whatever chosen profession you've got. You've got to be in the top 5. You've got to get there. And you can only get to the top 5 if you're in your sweet spot. You can't get to the top 5 working on weaknesses. You can't get to the top 5 if I'm not in the area of my giftedness. So you've got to find out what you're good at because that'll give you, then if you're committed and if you've got a good strategy and all of a sudden
Starting point is 00:42:51 you've got a good team around you, then that'll allow you to get in that top five. And once you're in that top 5%, you're in good shape. You're going to do very well. And I tell them, it doesn't matter what your profession is, you've got to get in the top 5% and you can only get in the top 5% if you're in your position, if you're in your sweet spot, if you're in your gift. Is there any technique, strategy, thought you have in order to identify what those sweet spots are for you?
Starting point is 00:43:13 Oh yeah, I'll trial and error. I mean, you know, when I started, okay, let's go to mine. I started off as a pastor and so I had a counseling degree. So now I'm counseling people. Well, it takes me about six months to realize I'm not any good at that. I'm not. It's not my gift.
Starting point is 00:43:32 They're coming in, and I'm listening to them. And then I say, OK, it's obvious. Here's your issue. Here's three things. I write on a piece of paper and hand it to them. I say, now, go be healed. You know what I mean? And the next month, they come back in.
Starting point is 00:43:43 I'd say, now, OK, what are we in here for? Well, I've got this problem. Well, it's a problem I heard last month, you know what I'm saying? Well, did you do the three things? No, I didn't do the three things. Well, it wore me out, I wore them out, I wasn't any good, but that's what I was trained in. But it wasn't giving me the results. And one day, I mean, it took me, really, it really took me three years. One day I realized that when you counsel people you work on their weaknesses. And when you equip people you work on their strengths.
Starting point is 00:44:14 And the moment I went from working on weaknesses to working on strengths I became, I was a rock star with strengths. Because you showed me your strength and I'm going to give you a game plan and let's get going because I'm a natural equiper not a natural counselor nothing wrong with counseling it's just not my gift you with me and and and what do they teach me in college they have taught me how to administrate so I'm in my you know I've got my little country church I'm doing administration well there's no return there I mean my gosh and one day I'm waking up and I'm
Starting point is 00:44:40 saying wait a minute this isn't working I got to go get me some volunteers to do this administration so I can get back. And so it's trial and error. And sometimes I think we go to people like, I mean, Ed, if I'm trying to find out my strengths and you and I know each other really well, I may come to you and say, okay, talk to me. You know, what do I do well? Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:57 You know, sometimes we don't understand our own strengths and it takes somebody that really is a good friend that knows us well that can say, well, I think you're really good in this area, but you got to find them. And it takes somebody that really is a good friend, it knows his will, that can say, well, I think you're really good in this area. But you gotta find them. And the good news is everybody has gifts. That's right. Everybody, so there's not such thing as where you say, well, you know, I just have no gifts,
Starting point is 00:45:14 and so I'm left out. Everybody has them, you just gotta go find them. But once you find them, that's where, and by the way, that's where you put all of your time in personal growth and development. Because the goal isn't just to learn a lot of things. I know a whole bunch of people, they're very knowledgeable,
Starting point is 00:45:30 but they're not very successful. So what you gotta do is you gotta say, I'm gonna stay in the area of my strengths. And so, at 27 when I decided I was gonna speak and maybe write some books, I asked myself a very simple question. What are the areas that people need to excel in to be successful?
Starting point is 00:45:53 And I came up with four areas. Relationships, I mean, if you can't get along with people, hello. Equipping, if you can't develop a team, you may have personal success, but you're not gonna have multiple, you're not gonna compound success because you don't have people helping you. An attitude of overcoming adversity and difficulty of getting back up, not quitting that whole process, and leadership,
Starting point is 00:46:13 the ability to influence people. And at 27, I said, those are the four things I'm going to spend my life, and if you'll look at my books, almost all of them are in relationships, equipping, attitude, leadership. It's true. And I found what I call, I found the sweet spot for people to success. Man. And so I wrote all my books in those areas. I've read, I'm going to tell you something. I've read of the majority of your books.
Starting point is 00:46:41 And there was a window of time where I read every single one as they were coming out, and now I'm back in that cycle again with you. And for me, the last couple minutes were really valuable because I'm obviously acknowledged like you are as a good leader. But in my own mind, I've wondered whether I am sometimes, because I'm not a great counselor either. And I mean that, like when people are looking for counsel for me. But what I am, I do feel like I'm really good at identifying giftedness in people.
Starting point is 00:47:08 I see giftedness. I think I'm good at equipping people. And so leaders come in different shapes, sizes, and forms. That was just really a good validation just for me, and I think it would be for certain people listening to this, because I think also sometimes people that are really good at executing themselves potentially maybe struggle with counseling people and do things, but they're great at equipping, they could be great at equipping. Oh absolutely, absolutely. And what I found is successful people are really good at finding their gifts, getting in their gift zone, and then just really staying there and becoming successful. I think they're happier too. Oh yes, but successful leaders, there's the difference. Successful leaders had the ability of what you just described, Ed, of finding the sweet spot for other people and getting them in that sweet spot. And that's where the return is.
Starting point is 00:47:50 I spent my life, after I discovered what my strengths were, now I'm just helping other people find their strengths because there's nothing more empowering to a person than to find out that they are good at something and then being equipped and taught how to do it well. That's honestly what you just described is what I enjoy doing most of my life. That's why you're a leader. A very good leader. Well, I hope I'm working on it. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:48:12 I just want you to know something, like the whole interview, everything we're doing today, that wasn't valuable for me because I've struggled even myself. Like, why am I, that's an element of my ability with people that's just limited. I'm not great at counseling people, but I am good at equipping them. So it's just a distinction that I really appreciate. One other thing about teams, and then I wanna talk about the new book. But one thing I wanna talk about on building teams and having teams is,
Starting point is 00:48:33 I have probably talked about the law of the catalyst in my life and business that you've talked about in various different books. Both identifying them in organizations so that they can grow, and also wanting to be identified as one, as someone them in an organization so that they can grow and also wanting to be identified as one, as someone coming through an organization. Could you just talk about, most people listening to this are familiar with your work, but obviously
Starting point is 00:48:54 there are people that aren't as well. So what is that law, what is the catalyst in an organization, why is it important, why do you want to be one? Well, Ed, that's out of my book, The 17 Laws of Teamwork. And basically that chapter is about the fact that good leaders have the ability to make things happen. And so when people look at me and they say, okay John, I'm looking for maybe a potential leader. What's the first thing I look for? The first thing I say for them to look for is look for somebody that makes things happen. Yes. Because you know, there's a whole bunch of people, they're wondering
Starting point is 00:49:24 what happened. And they're not the one you want to recruit. So I say go find, go find, because here's what I discovered. If you can make things happen for yourself, you now have the credibility to make things happen for other people. If I'm not successful, there is no appeal for you to follow me. I tell people all the time, success is the credibility of a leader to lead. Because you think about it, nobody ever said, oh my gosh, okay, I got it. I'm financially in deep weeds, oh my gosh, I'm going to, I think I'm going to go call my buddy Joe, he's been bankrupt three times. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:50:03 Hey, Joe, how bad, no, no, you don't follow Joe, Joe's been bankrupt three times. You don't follow Joe. Joe's been bankrupt three times. You got to go find somebody that's successful with money. Oh my gosh, I'm going to call Jack. He's been divorced four times. Jack, help me with my marriage. You see people, when they need help, the first thing they think about is who is better than me that I can follow. And so the credibility of a leader as far as to lead is that they're successful. I mean if I'm successful I say hey I'd want to join my team. Well of course I mean if LeBron James was in the room right now LeBron says we're gonna play a little
Starting point is 00:50:36 basketball and LeBron says you know I'll pick and then John will pick. Well when LeBron's there you're got your hand and say LeBron pick me because you're gonna win if you get LeBron. And every time I'm getting right, Pick, you're diving behind the chair. You don't want to be on my team, you're going to lose on my team. So what I tell people all the time is that the first thing you've got to do is you've got to get good yourself. Why would I ever think that I should lead somebody if I'm not any good at it? Okay, but once I'm good and I've found my success,
Starting point is 00:51:06 now I begin to say, okay, how do I compound this? Well, I compound this by looking at Ed and saying, okay, Ed, let me help you find your sweet spot and let's get you on this same road because now all of a sudden, this is how I really build a team. And so the law of the catalyst is all about making things happen. And that's
Starting point is 00:51:27 what I look for. I mean, Jack Welch, his phrase was, you know, who's going to get out of the pile? You know, he'd say in when he was a General Electrician, there's a big pile of people in this company. Well, who's going to get out of the pile? Well, somebody's going to climb out. Mark Cole is the CEO of six companies and Mark Cole is the CEO of them and the reason he is is because he got out of the pile. He got out of the pile. He started in the stock room. Did he really? Did Mark do it? Yeah, absolutely. And I just took him out last week. Mark's here by the way. he's cracking up over this. But he got out of the pile.
Starting point is 00:52:07 In other words, everywhere he was, he succeeded. And everywhere he went, he won. And after a while, you just sit there and say, okay, okay, I think I'll let him run this thing because he knows how to do it. And so, for all of us, I say before you go lead somebody else, just kind of get good yourself. So right, you're a mutual hero of mine, I say before you go lead somebody else, just kind of get good yourself. So right, you're a mutual hero of mine, friend of yours that we're talking about off camera,
Starting point is 00:52:30 Art Williams. Oh my. How important is leadership, right? And Art would used to say, and still probably does, say you want to show me any church, boy scout troop, football team company, I'm going to show you something being run by a leader. That's right. And in every great company, the leaders are great at identifying catalysts.
Starting point is 00:52:46 I mean, and when you find them, pay them well, keep them, because they're priceless when you have them. Somebody, I'm sure Mark's over there nodding his head that you should pay him even better. But I wanted to say something to you about your books that I think are just, they're so, everybody, they're such great reads. They're easy to read, they're memorable. He makes points and then backs them up with
Starting point is 00:53:07 incredible stories and anecdotes and quotes. And so it's the other thing about your books. They're incredibly, I would say, the information is profound, unique, and deep, yet very easy to... You equip people so well with the way you write it that it's transferable. The information is so transferable. You do that better than anybody, and of anybody's work that I read, I enjoy reading every single book. The problem with your books oftentimes is when you highlight them, you would almost be better off in John's books, highlighting the parts that you don't want to go back and remember, because he's literally just covered in highlighter when you highlight
Starting point is 00:53:39 his books, I'm serious. Thank you, buddy. It's an absolute fact, because I always get tired of highlighting, it's like every single part of every single page it would seem to be. I'm a communicator. So let's start here. An educator takes something simple and makes it complicated.
Starting point is 00:53:52 I mean, think of all my college, all this stuff. I mean, in an educational world, if you're not confused, they're not happy. So true. I mean, hey, their sentences are a paragraph long. I mean, by the time I get down to the paragraph, I forgot what the first part of the sentence was. I gotta go back and read the paragraph. Instead of short sentences,
Starting point is 00:54:09 you know, I'm dealing with a paragraph. But a communicator is exactly opposite. They take something complicated and make it simple. And so here's when I write a book or when I speak, doesn't matter. My first objective is to keep it so simple that when I say it, it immediately resonates with people. In fact, anytime you have to explain what you said, you didn't say it right the first time. So, my joke is I put the cookies on the lower shelf so everybody can have some.
Starting point is 00:54:40 And so, simple as far as understanding, but deep, because there's a difference, but deep when it comes to profound results that it will make in your life. It's an absolute fact. So, I mean, one of the principles I teach is very simple. I just hold my arm up in the air and I say, everything worthwhile is uphill. Everything. Everything is worth, there's nothing, there's nothing in your life worthwhile that's not uphill. It's all uphill. Well, everybody gets it. I mean, it's all uphill. You know, and here's the problem.
Starting point is 00:55:11 We got uphill hopes, but we have downhill habits. Okay, we're in trouble. You know, you got a downhill habit, you're not going uphill. You've got to change that habit. So everything that I teach, I teach with a real passion to keep it simple, but keep it very practical and make sure that the principle is life-changing. Yes. If you could do those three things, Wonderful.
Starting point is 00:55:36 Then you really got to go. And when I wrote the book, Leadership, I've been sitting on that book, probably for a good 12 years. Have you really? In fact, a lady on our team named Erin who does a lot of content for me, she shared with me she said, John, you really need to get that book out. And I kind of put it on the shelf and really wasn't too excited about getting it out because
Starting point is 00:56:00 I thought, I don't know, this may be a little too simple. But when I started writing, I thought, this is going to be life changing. And now that I'm looking at the book coming out, I'm so excited because here's what happens. We start leading in a way that gives us some success. And immediately, we get into this pattern. And what we don't understand is that leadership, if leadership is about anything, it's about adjusting and being flexible. And if you want to be a manager, then nail it, get it straight, do it the same way every time.
Starting point is 00:56:33 That's management. But when it comes to leadership, in fact, if you go back into the 1980s, there were no leadership books in bookstores. They were all management books. Right. Because you were trying to manage your company, your business. And then things began to change so fast, people were saying this management stuff doesn't work because this baby isn't staying the same. I turned around and it moved on me. And so I've got to get in front of it. And so leadership is all about being in
Starting point is 00:56:59 front. Well if you're in front, one of the first things you know is if you're in front, you don't know everything. Yes. So the issue is not knowing everything. The issue is when you know something, adjusting as quickly as you possibly can. Because if we don't adjust quickly, we miss it. Yes. Because it's a timing thing. Especially today. Oh well, I was getting ready to speak for a company recently, and their theme was fast forward. And we were doing a pre-call, and they asked me, they said, what's fast forward mean to you? I said, well, fast means faster.
Starting point is 00:57:32 As you look in the future, if anybody thinks that the future is going to be a little bit slower, I love that you said, well, I'm just, honestly, I'm just waiting for things to slow down. You know what? I would suggest dying. That's probably not the only way it's going to slow down. You know what? I would suggest dying. That's probably not the only way it's going to slow down for you. So fast is faster.
Starting point is 00:57:50 But let me tell you something. Forward is shorter. When I started off as a leader, we had 10-year long-range plans. And five years was a mid-range. A short-range plan when I started off, now I'm talking about the dark ages now, was a mid-range. A short range plan when I started off, now I'm talking about in the dark ages now, was a two year plan. Well, a two year plan now, that's a ridiculous long way.
Starting point is 00:58:10 I mean, that's kind of makes you suck air. You say, I think that's a little bit long. So what I know is fast is faster and forward shorter. So let me tell you something, the only people that are gonna win are people that can make leader shifts. And adjust quickly. And so I wrote the book, I talk about 11 leader shifts that I've made in my lifetime. And people ask me all the time, they say, John, how have you stayed, I'm 71, how have you stayed on top of your game?
Starting point is 00:58:38 And I say it's very simple, it's not the same game. Gorgeous. Okay, baseball is called baseball, but it's not the same game. Gosh, it's good. Okay, baseball is called baseball. But it's not the same game. So true. I mean, you don't go to the baseball game the second day and say, oh my gosh, now wait a minute, that leadoff hitter got a single yesterday. Oh, he struck out.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Oh my Lord. You see, it maybe had the same title. Yeah. But it isn't the same game. Yes. And you don't lead today's game on yesterday's results. No. Babe Ruth said one day, she said, yesterday's home run won't lead today's game on yesterday's results. Babe Ruth said one day, she said, yesterday's home run won't win today's game.
Starting point is 00:59:09 And I'll tell you what, yesterday's thinking won't win today's game either. So I talked about leaderships that you need to make in your life to keep you on the edge and to keep you adjustable and flexible so that you can really lead your people well. Because here's what I know, here's what I know. People don't like change.
Starting point is 00:59:30 You're right. So when the leader is resistant to change, he's gonna get into this leadership gravity pool, or she is, that's gonna go down every time. Because you're not gonna have the people behind you saying, come on, let's make some more changes. Let's make some more adjustments. No, no. Remember, they're wanting to hold on to what they have. And your job as a leader is to say there's something better if you'll just, if you just let this go, there's something better for
Starting point is 00:59:55 you here tomorrow. And that's the, you know, and that's what the good leaders do. So I get asked all the time, how did I get so much attention on social media, in my businesses, email lists, et cetera? I can tell you straight up, it's been constant contact. If you don't know who constant contact is, you need to know about these guys. Constant contact's award-winning marketing platform has helped millions of small businesses, mine being one of them, stand out, stay on top of mine and see big results fast.
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Starting point is 01:00:53 Eight streams of influence. I knew he would do this again. I knew it. Well, it's magic. It's your fault, Ed. Hey, I've had to help interviewers finish their program. Okay. And I'm with you. I just sit there and I say, jump in and the flow, edge flow will take you wherever you want to go. And you do it so well.
Starting point is 01:01:16 But leadership, everything rises and falls on leadership. So in every community, in every country, there are eight streams of influence. This is just well documented and we've got it down. Government, business, education, media, arts, family, religion, and health. Okay, now these are the eight streams of influence. We only go into the country when we get permission
Starting point is 01:01:43 from the top of those people. And here's what's key. So the president says, we want you to come in. We say, well, to the president, will you and your cabinet go through transformation tables? When the Supreme Court justice, I said, now, will you and your supreme, will you start a transformation table? And we go right to the top. And if they won't, we vet countries and we don't go because they won't.
Starting point is 01:02:06 Here's what we found. I have seven companies, but one of my companies is a leadership training company. And here's what we discovered. This is huge. The major difference between success and failure in a company when we're doing leadership training with them, there's one indicator and we can tell it on day one, whether they're gonna make it or not, there's one indicator. And we can tell it on day
Starting point is 01:02:25 one, whether they're going to make it or not, there's one indicator of whether it's going to be successful or not. And here it is. When the leaders buy into the program, and they go to the program themselves, it's going to be successful. Interesting. If they have the program, pay all the money and resources and send their people, it's not gonna go. People do what people see. And so the buy-in is the fact that in those eight streams, at the very top, they say yes and they get involved. Now, what does influence do? Influence just filters down through the whole country
Starting point is 01:03:03 and through the whole culture. Very good. And so what so what no matter what stream your listeners are with me on right today, no matter what stream they're in, this really works. And I'm going to give you one example. I can give you 100 but I will give you one. That's the in Guatemala. We've been doing transformation tables teaching values to the second largest bank in the country. It has 10,000 employees. Okay, so it's a big bank. So the CEO after they've done this for two years, the CEO asked me to come down. He said, I have 2000 of our clients that I'm bringing together.
Starting point is 01:03:38 And I want you to talk to them about change your world and transformation tables and values. Because he said, it's so changed our company, I want I want to help our clients. And so I said, I want to help change your world and transformation tables and values. Because he said, it's so changed our company. I want, I want to help our clients. And so I said, I would. So he introduces me, 2,000 clients out there. And here's what he says. For two years, we've been doing transformation tables in our business. Three positive outcomes.
Starting point is 01:04:01 Number one, our bottom line, the profit better than it's ever been by four. In fact, he said it increased 36% last year. Now, why did the bottom line do so well? We teach values, hard work, industry, honesty, integrity, teamwork. His employees are learning all these values and all of a sudden they start to live them and embrace them. Now, bottom line profit, number two, he said, we now have a leadership culture in our company.
Starting point is 01:04:31 He said, we didn't have a leadership culture here. There you go. He said, and where did they get their leaders? In the tables. Because Ed, if you're not at a table, one week you'll facilitate that table and you'll take whatever value that comes up. Next week, the person beside you facilitates it and we go, we pass the leadership baton around and how do you
Starting point is 01:04:50 develop leaders? By practicing leaders. How do you know you have leaders? By watching them practice. Very good. And he said, all of a sudden leaders are popping up. He said, we have more leaders now than we have positions for them. Now that's a pleasant thing to have. Number three, and this is what it really got me. He said the families of our employees have beautifully changed. What are they doing? They're taking those values, they've learned at work. And by the way, every week, 45 minutes,
Starting point is 01:05:17 the banks all shut down, we do the tables on bank time. Hey, they go home to their families, say, here's what we're discussing this week. It bleeds right into the families. And all of a sudden the family gets better. So good. That's why I love what this work. This is, okay, I wrote a book,
Starting point is 01:05:33 but I'm wanting to create a movement. Yeah. And that's what I'm passionate about. And movements don't start with a mask. They start with them few. Mask movements never start with a mask. When Gandhi left prison and started going to the, by the time he got to the sea, he with a mask, they start with them few, mask movements never start with a mask. When Gandhi left prison and started going to the, by the time he got to the sea, he had a million,
Starting point is 01:05:48 but he only had six with him in the beginning. So let's, hey, he just had one transformation table in the beginning. By the time he got there, he had a million. And we think we have the possibility through this book to start a positive movement of values, learning, living, and embracing, and that's going to be fun. And the way that you do it, John, is worth, I think watching what John's doing, not only in the content,
Starting point is 01:06:14 but the way in which he's creating the movement. So for me, I don't always just watch the execution, I also watch the person executing. I shouldn't say executioner, but the person doing the executing. When you were born, let me ask you a question. The doctor slapped you on the ass. Make sure you're okay. Didn't he? Right. Then he sat you probably on your mama's chest or put you in the nursery. I doubt when he handed me mom, he goes, Hey, here's one of the average ones. Mediocre kid. You got there. Congratulations., you were made to do something great with your life, weren't you? And you've always known it. There's always been this little voice in your head, since you were a little boy or a little girl,
Starting point is 01:06:52 you've always known there was something special about you. Those of us that have faith in the room, we know we were made as a masterpiece. We know the Lord looks like us, looks at us like we can do anything with our lives through Him, don't we? Is that right? You weren't born to be average. You weren't born to have a mediocre existence on this earth. You were born to do something great, and that's why you're in this room.
Starting point is 01:07:13 It's by no mistake that you've always had those thoughts, that intuition, that aspiration, and you find yourself in this room at this time today. So if this is the worst talk you ever heard, you heard from Ted Milet. But if it's the best talk you ever heard, give Ed Milet a little credit. Is that fair? Yes?
Starting point is 01:07:32 And so do you feel the energy in here, by the way? Because see, the difference between maxing out 10X in your life has a lot to do with energy. There's a winning energy, right? People respond to what they feel more than what they hear. In fact, as I'm speaking right now, you already feel different the first three minutes of this, don't you?
Starting point is 01:07:52 And the reason is you can feel that I mean what I'm saying. You can feel the transfer of energy. Let me ask you a question. What do you make people feel? And the more you become conscious of what you're making people feel, not what you say, not their opinion of you, but what they
Starting point is 01:08:08 feel when they're around you, it's going to make all the difference in the world of whether or not you're going to influence them to change their lives or participate with you in business, your company, et cetera. Do you hear me on that? Say yes. Because the day he slapped you on that ass, a race started.
Starting point is 01:08:24 Listen to me. A race began. And it's a race that started that first day when you were born to the last day of your life. And that race is to finally reach the ultimate version of you. You're chasing down the person you were born to be, that you were destined to be.
Starting point is 01:08:40 And since that day started, the world, the people around you are trying to get you to conform to average. They're trying to get you off that track to finally meet your twin someday, the best possible version of you. Every single day has to be a pursuit to get better, to improve, to grow, to stretch because you are ultimately chasing the destiny version of you. Do you hear me on that? Say yes.
Starting point is 01:09:06 So every decision you make in business, every call you have, whether you go to the gym or not, you need to put it through this paradigm, through this barometer. Does this decision, does this relationship I'm in, does this choice I'm making right now put me closer to becoming that man or woman or further away? Listen, you've got to get a little bit more intense
Starting point is 01:09:26 about your life, about your business. You've got to stop being so dad gum casual. You've got to get in the game. If you're going to play the game, let's play to win it. Let's play to max it out. Let's play to 10 exit. Right or wrong? Right?
Starting point is 01:09:41 I want you shaking. I want you feeling it. I want your intensity level to go up. Not in this room, but when you leave this room, you're focused on more energy, more intensity, more focus. Because these people you see speaking here, they're not smarter than you. We're not better than you. I don't like when we get up here, I'm rich, I'm, you know what, who cares if I'm rich?
Starting point is 01:10:01 I care whether you're rich. I want you to live richly. And I can tell you, I don't like it sometimes when we come to events like this, because you always see the after. If this was a weight loss ad, we're all ripped up here. The power of the weight loss ad is you see the fat lady, then she's the skinny lady, right?
Starting point is 01:10:20 You don't see the before. You're only seeing afters here. The before with me is an introverted, shy guy, insecure guy, low self-esteem, afraid of public speaking. That's the before me, a broke me. And I'm not gonna get into the details of that, but I want that to give you hope, because it's decisions we make to chase that best version
Starting point is 01:10:39 of us every second, every day, that every day alters the direction of the course of our lives. We've all made decisions that we regret. That decision took me off course. That decision put me further away of being the best life I could have, the best version of me. When you were a little girl or a little boy, there was somebody who knew you were special. It was your grandma, your uncle, a coach, a teacher. There's been one person in your life, hasn't there? They're the one who knew you were special. There's always one.
Starting point is 01:11:06 If you're blessed in life, you may have two or three of those people. Just picture their face for a second. Who was that person that when you were a little girl or a little boy, they just looked at you a little different. They just knew you were special. They knew you were great. They knew you could do something great with your life. See, I think the key to being great in business is being that person in other
Starting point is 01:11:23 people's lives. I don't believe in faking it till you make it. And you can listen to all my podcasts and know how broke I went. But I'm gonna prove to you how crazy entrepreneurship is. Because you know what entrepreneurialism is, right? It's the greatest self-discovery process in the history of mankind. Isn't it? You learn more about yourself, what you don't know, your resiliency, how tough you are,
Starting point is 01:11:41 what your weaknesses are by being an entrepreneur. It's probably the greatest self-discovery program in the history of the world. It's also this. It's the greatest self-improvement program with the highest compensation package possibly attached to it, too. Entrepreneurism is a self-improvement program
Starting point is 01:11:54 with massive compensation package attached to it. And that's why too many of you are too focused on growing your company and not focused enough on growing you, because your company will never, ever exceed your identity or your vision for it. You've got to grow you. Because what will happen when it starts to grow,
Starting point is 01:12:10 you'll start making unconscious mistakes to shrink it, making bad calls, getting weak, getting lazy, making mistakes. You're all nodding because you've all done it. Because at some point, your business got ahead of you. Far too many of you in your life are obsessed with what cab driver number two and bouncer number one think about what you're doing. Instead of the lead characters. You're obsessed with what other people think about you. The thing that's going to kill your dream is your addiction to other people's approval.
Starting point is 01:12:37 And cab driver number two, he ain't going to approve of what you're doing. At the end of your damn life, he's not going to show up in any of the important chapters. Yet you give him all this power all the time. Stop giving people power who aren't in your book. Do your life for the leading character. You, your spouse, your children, your parents, your legacy. They're the lead characters in the story of you, of your life, and the more you focus on them. And I know that many of them are the very ones giving you a hard time They're the very ones telling you you can't make it you should quit you should give it Let me tell you somebody who experienced that who's now written a pretty damn good book
Starting point is 01:13:12 They are thrilled with the book and they knew you were gonna write it all the time someday But you get focused on the lead character. Here's the good news a Leading character can decide to live a new script at any point she wants. She walked in here one character and she says, you know what, I am the lead character. This is some stupid script my parents gave me or a script my boss gave me or a script someone else gave me
Starting point is 01:13:36 or my husband gave me. You know what, screw that. I'm the new leading character. This woman's more beautiful, more confident, more influential, more resilient, more influential, more resilient, more evangelical. This woman is just a little stronger. And you leave here in the break and you just feel different. You decide I am a new character. I am a new leading character in the book of my life. Because the more you decide to take control of the narrative, of
Starting point is 01:13:57 the script of your life and you live your dream, the more likely at the end of your life you are going to meet that dude. You are going to meet that woman. See at the end of my life, will meet that dude. You will meet that woman. At the end of my life, I am a person of faith, the Lord will say, well done good and faithful servant. And I have this other hallucination, this guy over here, this is the man you could have been. This is the person you were born to be. All those choices you made, if you made them all, you got the
Starting point is 01:14:22 right place, this is who you could have become. This would have been your dream. This is where you would have gone. What you would have seen. Who you would have helped. What you would have changed. This would have been your book. Meet him. My dream in my life is that when I meet that person, we are not total strangers.
Starting point is 01:14:35 You don't want to get to the end of your life and that character is a total stranger to you. I don't care if you have faith or not. You know damn well there is going to be a funeral for you someday and at that funeral There's gonna be a sense and a spirit of what you could have become the woman the man you could have become and every day Those decisions you're making to max out your life are chasing that person See, you know what I want at the end of my life when I meet him Watch how I pull this together. I
Starting point is 01:15:01 want to be identical twins I I want to be identical twins. I want to be identical twins. I want you to be identical twins. Ted and Ed are gonna meet each other someday and I'm gonna say hey man good to see you. I've been riding with you for quite a while. I've been chasing you man. He's gonna go I've been watching you. You're exactly like me man. We're identical twins. You maxed out your damn life. Congratulations. How to build something great. How to create a movement. And when I say that, I'm really talking about multiple areas. This could be how to build a great church, how to build a great business, how to build a great family, how to build a great boy scout troop, girl scout troop, any movement you want to build. Anything great has the elements we're going
Starting point is 01:15:40 to cover today. There's a lot of detail here and hopefully some inspiration for you as well. So, you know, there's a great book I read long time ago, I'm going to show my age here, called Selling the Dream by a guy named Guy Kawasaki. And what it really was is Guy Kawasaki was the guy that kind of helped market Macintosh way back in the day for Apple. And it was a study of the history of Apple and basically his contention was that all great movements, I think all great families, all great churches, all great everything, sell the dream. The leader of that enterprise is almost evangelical, almost like a preacher, evangelizing for their cause.
Starting point is 01:16:15 You know, great businesses, those of you that are business people, great businesses have a cult-like following, have a religious-like following. It's something that all great movements have. Apple has it, the great fitness companies that you think of. Any company you know that's really flourishing has kind of raving fans. And to a level past that is almost cult-like and religious-like followers. They believe that deeply. I mean, by the way, I don't mean that
Starting point is 01:16:37 in a sacrilegious way, like they believe in it more than they believe in God. You know exactly what I mean when I say that. Deep raving fans. And those followings are led by evangelists. All great business people, I think all great dads, all great moms, should be evangelical about their family. All great business leaders should be evangelists constantly touting the greatness of your family,
Starting point is 01:16:57 the greatness of where you're going, the greatness of your company. For whatever prism you're listening today through, or whatever filter, whether you're listening to this and you want to be a better mother, a better father, a better pastor, a better business leader, a better entrepreneur, I think these things we're going to talk about today are going to rock your world, absolutely. And so how do you build a religious cult-like following in your business, and how do you become more evangelical about your cause? I want you to write these three things down right now as a dad, as a mother, and as a business leader. Dream, crusade, recognition. These are the three pillars of building anything great. Great evangelists, great leaders and families are constantly sowing the dream.
Starting point is 01:17:36 Mom sowing the dream, here's where we're going as a family. We're amazing. We're going to do something great. It's going to be a great day. Great business leaders, here's where the company's going. This is what we're going to accomplish. This is the vision. This is the future, this is the road we're heading down, this is how amazing it's going to be. See, great leaders always sell the dream. Leaders must have vision because of your position, just by being a position of a leader, you
Starting point is 01:17:57 are in front of everybody, aren't you? Which means your point of view should be different. You can see things they can't see. Your job as a leader is to say, here's what I see. This is how amazing it is and this is how we're going to get there. So great leaders, like that book said, sell the dream constantly. Great entrepreneurs are constantly conscious of selling the dream to their employees, to their clients, to their vendors, to potential clients, to people they sell, to people they
Starting point is 01:18:23 do business with, to people in the warehouse. No matter what your business is, I don't care what it is, always be selling the dream. Listen to me, always be selling the dream and do it repetitiously. Don't get tired of saying the same things over and over again. See, business is not about saying new things to old people. Business is about saying old things to new people. So constantly be selling the dream. As a mother or father, you want to turn your family around, you want
Starting point is 01:18:49 to raise great kids, sell them the dream on the future. Sell them where they're going. Sell them where your family's going. All the time. Sell the dream, sell the dream, sell the dream. Second element is crusade. If you're going to build a cult-like and religious-like following in your business, for example, your Your crusade, constantly messaging your crusade, your cause, your mission. These are all in that same thing of the difference you make in the world, the contribution you make. You must be messaging it all the time. We're making a difference. This is our cause, this is our mission, this is our crusade. These are the two big messages that all great entrepreneurs that are evangelical
Starting point is 01:19:21 create. They're constantly selling the dream, constantly selling the crusade. This creates a culture. All your systems, all your messages, all your marketing, all your social media, everything you do is about dream and crusade. You wanna create an infectious environment in your company? You get on fire about selling the dream. I don't care if you're a two person dry cleaners.
Starting point is 01:19:40 You sell the dream of having four. You sell the dream of making 10 of them or 20 of them. And you have a crusade about it. We do the best job. We get to close the cleanest. We're meticulous. We take it to a level nobody else does. We care. We make a difference. We help people make more money because they're sharper dressed in our clothes. I don't care what your business is. If you make sandwiches, the crusade of being the best and them eating healthy or them enjoying it or bringing passion to people's lives or pleasure to their lives. Talk about your crusade and your mission.
Starting point is 01:20:08 If you're in the financial business or the real estate business or the fitness business, I don't care the tech business, what's the dream, what's the crusade, what's the mission and sell it over and over and over again. This is how we build a following. And then lastly, recognition. Always be recognizing people. Always be holding people up. Always acknowledge people that are performing at a high level.
Starting point is 01:20:27 Build an environment where you're recognizing people all the time so that people want to rise up. You know, if you have an environment of recognition all the time, that the people who aren't being recognized see the ones who are and want that to happen. So recognition elevates the company, elevates your vendors, elevates your clients. By the way, what do you do to recognize your clients?
Starting point is 01:20:47 What do you do in your business to recognize your clients? What do you do to recognize your recruits? What do you do to recognize your employees? What do you do to recognize your vendors? What do you do to recognize your assistant? What do you do to recognize people? How great are you at recognizing people? Right?
Starting point is 01:21:01 Now if you show me a leader who sells the dream, who's got an unbelievable crusade, who's got recognition in place, I'm going to assume you have systems in place, because you can't function without those as an entrepreneur. But the separator between the good and the great, the extraordinary companies, the movements, the systems are not the separator. The systems are fundamentals to even get in the game. But once you're in the game, how good is your dream selling? How repetitious is it? How believable is it? How big is it? By the way, on selling the dream,
Starting point is 01:21:28 you have to sell a big enough dream to people that everybody's dreams who come in contact with you can fit inside the one you're selling. Do you do that? Are you cognizant of selling it big enough that everybody listening to you, whoever that crowd is, their dream can fit inside the one you're selling. Your crusade and mission, is it emotional, is it compelling? Do you hold up evidence of it? What do you do to reinforce it? Do you on a regular basis hold up success stories? Do you reinforce it with the stories you've had?
Starting point is 01:21:53 Do you reinforce it with the message you have? Do you reinforce it with your own behavior? So how well do you reinforce the cause, the mission, the crusade of your business? And then how do you do with recognizing people? Do you have an environment full of recognition and enthusiasm and winning and progress happening all the time? Do you constantly find ways and reasons to recognize the people you work with and your clients?
Starting point is 01:22:14 As a mother or a father, how good are you at selling the dream of your family? We're special. We're a great family. We do great things for people. We're going to win in our lives. We're going to travel the world. We're going to make a difference. Then they get to the crusade. This is the kind of family great things for people. We're gonna win in our lives. We're gonna travel the world. We're gonna make a difference. Then they get to the crusade.
Starting point is 01:22:26 This is the kind of family where we serve people. We've got a mission as a family. We're about making a difference in the world. We're special. We're givers. Do you do that? And do you recognize people? Man, you look beautiful today. You look amazing. Great job on your test. I'm so proud of you. You're my favorite. Do you do things all the time to recognize your children and your spouse? How good are you at that? Just take a step back and breathe for a second. When's the last time you recognized your spouse and do you do it repetitiously and regularly
Starting point is 01:22:53 all the time where it's infectious? Do you recognize your children? Do you recognize your parents or your siblings? How good are you at just, I love you, I believe in you. Do you call them? Do you text them? Do you write handwritten notes? Do you hug them? Do you just have an environment of
Starting point is 01:23:06 recognition in your household? See, I think a great family's got a dream, a great family's got a mission and a cause, and a great family recognizes each other. That's what a great church does, is what a great football team does, is what a great business does. The most powerful force in the history of the world is religion, right? And I'm not talking about building something that is important as someone finding God, but I am talking about building the same elements. See, Rick Warren in The Purpose Driven Life wrote this great book, it was the best selling book of all time other than the Bible. And in that book he lists five things that are
Starting point is 01:23:37 sort of the keys, purposes to a religion, right? I thought it was interesting. So I'm going to give you what those five keys were because I think they apply to business, I think they apply to family. So we're going to give you what those five keys were because I think they apply to business, I think they apply to family. So we're going to listen to Rick Warren's five things, I'm going to give them to you right now, and then I'm going to tell you they apply to business for you being evangelical and creating a religious cult-like following for your company and your products, which is what you all want. So those five things are fellowship, two, discipleship and education, three, worship,
Starting point is 01:24:04 four, ministry and service. And five, evangelization. These are the five purposes of religion that he lists in the Purpose Driven Life. So how does that apply to business? Let's start with fellowship. You want to create fellowship in your business. You want to create a community type environment for your clients and the people that work with you. Because people want to belong in life.
Starting point is 01:24:24 Number one need for human beings is the need to belong. So if you're not creating that in the atmosphere around your company, again if it's a dry cleaner, what do you do when they walk in to make them feel like they're a part of a community? Things you say, things you give them, signs that are on the wall, it begins to build a community. If you have a financial services business or a real estate business or a tech business or a nutrition business, what are you doing to build community around your business? Could that be your social media, your website, your environment, the workplace, the things you mail to your clients thanking them?
Starting point is 01:24:53 What are you doing to build community or fellowship in your business? Number two is discipleship or education. What are you doing to build disciples? Which means what does your company believe in? What does it stand for? What's the action that you want to give them? The way you build people who are raving fans and followers is they know what you stand for. They know what you believe in. They know what your mission is. This is the way that you begin to build sort of disciple type following. And then the second thing is education. Every business can be teaching somebody something and that's another way you build raving fans and building disciples is by teaching them something. So your business ought to have an educational slant to it in some way.
Starting point is 01:25:27 You need to be thinking through how you begin to create that in your business by teaching people things. And that could be just a value proposition. It could be something you stand for. It could be something you mail them, something you teach them. But it begins to build discipleship and education in your business. The third purpose of religion that Rick lists is worship. And we do want people to kind of be in our presence, in our business, being that in love with who we are and what we do. In religion they worship a creator.
Starting point is 01:25:52 In your business they're going to worship your cause and your mission and what you stand for. And so it's got to be constantly messaged all the time in some way, shape or form. Worship is a strong word for really believe. Strong word is to really be connected. Strong word to believe that you're different and unique and special and cause oriented. People want to be a part of a movement, just so you know. Even as a consumer. That's why you see people wear the t-shirts of different brands. Anything they can do
Starting point is 01:26:18 to say, I belong here and I belong here because I worship or I believe in the cause, I believe in the mission, I believe in what this company stands for. That could be what the leader stands for, the product stands for, the delivery stands for, the industry stands for, but they need to know what you stand for. Four is ministry and service is one of the purposes that Rick lists for religion and that's also true for a business. Businesses exist to solve a problem. Your messaging needs to all the time be about the service that you do because it's how you mobilize people. You mobilize people around that mission. You can hear the common theme here of dream, mission, and recognition. And inside this, what are you doing to
Starting point is 01:26:57 recognize the people that are in your service? For example, in a church, if you've ever been to a church, there are people who get identified roles, don't they? There's the pastor or the priest or the rabbi, etc. and whatever the religion is. There's also the ushers. There's the people who do the sign-ins. There's the people who lead worship service, who play the music. These are forms of recognition inside the organization. What are you doing to recognize your client? What are you doing to recognize your colleagues, recognize your recruits at every level, all the time, this is how we begin to build this part of the element of our cult-like religious following.
Starting point is 01:27:29 And then lastly, evangelization. Think about all the people who you maybe think are some of the best business people or most influential people you know. Everybody from, and they're different, think about this, from Martin Luther King to Oprah Winfrey to Mark Cuban to Steve Jobs to Mark Zuckerberg to Elon Musk to the guy I see on TV all the time. You've seen this guy with the pillow, my pillow, the guy with the mustache and the blue shirt and the cross, I don't even know the guy's name but he's like evangelical for his cause of why his pillow will help you sleep better and he repeats it over and over and over again.
Starting point is 01:28:00 This is a part of building that religious cult like following is being evangelical about your company all the time. What do they all have in common? Because they're all different people. Maybe you look at me this way. Maybe it's one of your favorite business leaders, right? One of your favorite influencers. They have that element. We all look different. We all talk different. But we all had a cause that we preached over and over again. And by the way, no way, shape, or form. Am I equating the MyPillow guy with my hero Martin Luther King or am I equating Oprah Winfrey with myself? My point is that any great leader, I'm talking about the best restaurant in your town, there's an experience when you go in there.
Starting point is 01:28:36 And that's the part of it I want you to understand. There's got to be an experience in your family to make it special. There's got to be an experience of being in that household, whether it's where you go or the environment in your home or just the spirit that's inside your home. That's an experience. People want to have a great experience that they do business with, right? So what experience are you creating? When they walk in your restaurant, how do they feel from the very beginning they meet with you to the end of their meal? What's the experience
Starting point is 01:29:03 that you want them to have in your business? The transaction they make, if you're say in the financial services business, what's the experience that you want them to have? Think that through for a minute. From the minute they meet you, through their entire lifetime with you, what's the experience feel like? Because if you want referrals, which is what you say you want, you want new people, people refer people when the experience is blissful, when the experience is amazing, when the experience is unique. Think about the places or businesses you do business with right now that you love the most. Your favorite restaurant, your favorite clothing brand, your favorite influencer on social media. Hopefully me. So what's the experience like? How do they make you feel when you're in their restaurant, when you're consuming their protein
Starting point is 01:29:49 product? And maybe that whole experience is how you order it, how you buy it, the note they write you. My friend Andy Fersella, my business partner, they're so specific at First Form, but when you buy that product, everybody gets a handwritten note. There's an experience that's different than just getting it shipped to you. They're creative in how they make people feel, even if it's in a benign transaction, like a dry cleaner's, right? Like a sandwich shop.
Starting point is 01:30:12 But it's really important in every business to just make the experience of doing business with you slightly different and more enjoyable and pleasurable than everybody else. In today's world, what distinguishes you more than anything is the experience. It's all the things we've talked about. It's the dream, it's the cause, it's the crusade, it's the recognition. It's all of that wrapped up in what's the experience that people are having when they're with us. Because that's what they will recommend to people is the experience. What makes a great family is the experience day to day of that family.
Starting point is 01:30:43 It's never perfect, right? There's ups and downs, but what's the spirit and experience in that family? As a mother, what you're creating? What's the experience you're creating as a father for your family? As a business leader, what's the experience? As a pastor of a church, what's the experience there from when they walk in to when they walk out to when they get home and you connect with them through social media or however you connect with them? What's the experience of doing business with you? These are the elements of creating a movement, of creating anything great. These are the
Starting point is 01:31:10 ways I believe that you create a great family, a great baseball team, a great Girl Scout troop, Boy Scout troop, church or business. These are the elements that create that kind of following and that greatness about what you're doing. You can do something great with your life. You were born to do something great with your life. Yes, you, driving in your car right now, having that bad day, on the treadmill right now, man, just things aren't going the way you want right now. Maybe you're watching this on YouTube going like, hey man, I don't even have a business
Starting point is 01:31:37 right now. I'm not even sure I am a good dad. It doesn't matter. Your past does not equal your future. You were put here to do something great in big ways and small ways. You're supposed to help other people. You're supposed to make a difference. You matter.
Starting point is 01:31:51 Listen to me. You matter. Your past does not equal your future. Here's the good news. Your present doesn't equal your future either. You're capable at any time of turning your life around. And if no one's reminded you lately, let me remind you. You're supposed to do something great, you're called the greatness, you're
Starting point is 01:32:07 called to something higher than where you are right now and it's some of these elements that matter in doing it. But more than anything what matters is you know in it, you know in your favor, you know you can do something great, you know you're not out of time, you know you can turn your life around. I know it now, you need to know it. In fact, you need to know it deeply because it's true. I promise you. I promise you. I promise you. You can do something great with your life. I'm always here, by the way, to help you do it, to inspire you, but most importantly, probably, to give you the tools to do it. I wouldn't be spending my time for free with millions of people if I didn't think each and every one of you were capable of doing something great with your life. I do this because there's this
Starting point is 01:32:48 little part of me that hopes in the... I'm looking at the Pacific Ocean out here. If I'm a drop of water in the ocean of your life that helps you create a wave that makes a difference in the world, I'd love to be that drop of water in the wave of your life. And I know you can be that wave. I know you can transform your own life and other people's lives at the same time.

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