THE ED MYLETT SHOW - How to Become the Person God Designed You to Be w/ Steven Furtick

Episode Date: April 30, 2024

Unleash your hidden strengths— “Your greatest limitations are your greatest opportunities…” This week, I'm thrilled to introduce someone who has had an impact on my life from the moment we met—Steven Furtick. He's not just a pastor at the globally renowned Elevation Church; he's also a Grammy-winning composer, songwriter, and a New York Times best-selling author. His latest work, "Do the New You: 6 Mindsets to Become Who You Were Created to Be," is essential reading for anyone on a quest to uncover their true self and lead a life of greater joy, kindness, and bravery. Steven brings a refreshing take on living authentically, emphasizing the importance of GROWTH over settling for a lesser version of ourselves—one that might not align with what God has planned for us. His insights are not just transformative; they're ACTIONABLE, providing you with the tools to flourish in a challenging world. In this episode, we dive into: How modern believers can navigate their spiritual journeys amidst today's unique challenges Strategies to accept your imperfections, realize your full potential and overcome imposter syndrome How your biggest hurdles can become your greatest victories through faith The Six Mindsets for a Fulfilled Life: Practical steps to reshape your thinking and enhance your life Understanding how to feel and recognize the love from a heavenly father Insights into what lies beyond this life and how to prepare for it Steven's profound narrative will show you that the moments you feel confined by your limitations are often the times God is setting you up for the greatest revelations about your potential. Join us for a journey of discovery that promises not only to enlighten but also to empower you with a renewed sense of purpose and peace. This may be your pathway to a life you’ve never imagined possible. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So hey guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now? Maybe stunted in your progress? Well if you are, I want to recommend a place for you to go called Growthday. Growthday.com forward slash ed. It is the number one personal development app on the planet. It's got all kinds of high performance techniques in there, courses, accountability, journaling, live speeches from some of the top influencers in the world, including me. It's an overall environment to change your life. Growthday.com forward slash ed. Your teen requested a ride, but this time not from you. It's through their Uber Teen account.

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This is The Admirelent Show. Welcome back to the show everybody. So have you ever just met somebody and the minute you meet them you love them and you just feel bonded to them, almost like kindred spirits immediately when you meet. And I was a huge fan of this man prior to meeting him. And I think we both kind of wanted to meet one another, so we sat together one night at a dinner table. And about two hours later, I poked my head up and there ended up being other people there

because we were so glued in on one another. I loved him the minute I met him. And as I've gotten to know him better, I consider him a brother, a brother in Christ and somebody that I admire very much. He is the pastor, the lead pastor of Elevation Church. He's also the most musically beautifully gifted man I know. He's got a new book out right here called Do The New You. I've been waiting a while to have him on the show and share him with all of you and I'm so grateful he's here today. So Stephen Furtick, finally, welcome to the show. Great to have you.

Thank you, Ed. Thank you. Man, I was thinking today to get to cook with you like this and help people together. I mean, this is a dream, man. This is a dream. Same for me, as you know. And I gotta tell you, I thought, isn't this cute?

My friend wrote this book, it's good that he wrote a book, I'm so proud of him, and I'm gonna have him on the show because I love him. And then I read the book and I went, whoa, okay. This is not just another book, this is special. You're very vulnerable and very honest in this book. And so today, guys, is really gonna be a ride of really discovering, I think, the true you, which is really the theme for me that I got out of this book.

So it starts out, I want to ask you first, brother. It starts out in the very beginning of the book, you talk about your son's getting ready to go off to college, he asks you for advice. And by the way, I remember Max asking me the same thing. I'm like, wow, I'm sort of known for advice and I don't have my A game right here with my kid. But you say in the book, I know what bad advice would be. And so let's just start there. What would not so good advice be? I know what it is, but I want to share it with everybody listening or watching. Yeah. Cause like my oldest son, he's my workout partner and we were finishing a workout one day and he's like,

I used to tell me so much great stuff down here, but like before I leave for college Thursday, what's the best advice you could give me now? And anytime somebody asked that it just, it feels like the pressure of having to come down the mountain with the 10 commandments, like Moses, like I don't have any tablets, there's no best advice. And I sat down after and I was like, I'm gonna need a minute. I'll get back to you.

And, and then I thought, well, I know well, I know what I wouldn't tell you. I know what advice people give all the time that I wouldn't give you, and that's just do you. And, or something like that, you know? That's one way of saying it. Just do you. Like that phrase, as far as it relates to fashion is fine. Like there's one of our staff members here who's been rocking a man bun lately and there's

a very divided opinion if he's pulling it off or not. I heard somebody say to him the other day, they're like, hey man, do you? And it kind of means, well, I wouldn't do it. And I secretly think you look like an idiot, but if it makes you happy, do you that's fine like you want to wear the crocs do you I think of 43 year old men and crocs is kind of a lot but do you right so I get it in that way and self-expression and uniqueness and you know if you say that to somebody and you mean live out the most authentic integrated version of you that you can live out and and don't live your life trying to perform up to something that God didn't call you to be or trying to combine all of the the highlight reels of everybody else that you've seen and Live a life that you weren't even called to live then great do you but

What we normally mean when we say that like just do you or I'm just doing me is I'm settling and I think a lot of people live their life cheated like I start the book by calling that the trap the the trap of just doing you because my belief for everybody listening is you haven't fully met you yet like you've seen glimpses, you've seen glimpses of a you that is kind and patient and tenacious and loving and maybe you live in that space a lot of time, but my belief is that most of us haven't fully met the version of us that God knows yet. So to say, just do you, that's a trap because well now I'm just doing the me that I know, the me that I see, the me that I've experienced up to this point. So then Ed,

and I don't want to talk too much at the beginning cause I hope that, I hope that we'll riff a lot today because I'm a huge fan of you, man. I was like, if we start tag team preaching today, speaking, and I know, I know there's a difference between preaching and speaking, but we kind of operate off the same energy. So when I set up a metaphor, I'm like, okay, if do you is the trap, then what's the opposite of that? Well, I see a lot of people that are basically stuck in striving to be something that they think they're

not. So I call that the treadmill. Yeah, treadmill, treadmill. So like you get motivated. You listen to Ed Milet, you go like, okay, I'm gonna do it this year. This is my year. You know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm turning my ceiling into a floor in 2024. Like you get these motivational aspirational and all that's great because you're like, all right, I'm not settling for where I am. There's more in me and there's more to me and I have something special. And so then you start chasing something that you think is out there somewhere.

Like one day when I hit this point, I'm gonna be happy, I'm gonna be worthy, I'm gonna be deserving, I'm gonna be peaceful, I'm gonna be at ease, one day when. So now you're out of the trap of just do you which is living cheated but now you're on the treadmill of future you Which is some version of you that you think would be you know actually?

Acceptable some version of you that you think you could actually live with Yes, but you don't really believe it's you and a lot of times what you're chasing Isn't what God has put inside of you, it's what you see around you from the fake images that are being fed to you of people at only certain slivers and moments and slices of their life. So that's to live your life chasing. So the book is written to remind you, whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever insecurities you're dealing with, whatever habits, addictions, inertia, whatever's going on in your body,

whatever's going on in your mind, whatever attacks you feel like you're under, whatever dreams you have that, you don't have to live cheated in the trap. You don't have to live chasing some version of you that doesn't really exist that you could become one day because you're chosen. And so I do a little wordplay in the book, Ed, where I wish I could write it down.

And I know a lot of people are listening, so they can't see it. But I take the word new, N-E-W, and I change it a little bit. I put a K on front of it. And I say the new you, N-E-W, the you that God is calling you to become is the K in EW, new you, because God told this, this messenger that he was calling in Jeremiah one five in the Bible, he said, before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. And so the you that God is calling you to become is the you that he already knows you are. So you're chosen. You don't have to live cheated. You don't have to live chasing.

And I've talked way too much, but you got me fired up. Even looking at you fires me up. And so I got to tell you so. And by the way, the third choice, really, what he says in the book is the true you. And this is what we reference as Jeremiah in the Bible. That's exactly what he says in the book is the true you. And this is what, you know, we reference as Jeremiah in the Bible. That's exactly what he's talking about. The true you is the one that God knows that he knew when he formed you in the womb. And you're so right, because I live in this world, right? So there are the groups of people that are just like, hey, man, I'm doing me. Whatever it is, whatever it is, you get what you get.

That's one crowd. Then there's kind of the crowd that that you know sort of is involved in my world here, which is we're chasing the best version of ourselves. And I think that the challenge with it and was so profound for me to read it is this chase idea. I talk a lot, by the way I'm super unqualified to cover a lot of these things, but I do talk about vision and how the Bible talks about where there's no vision that people will perish. But I gotta tell you, when I meet most people, they have some sort of a vision. In my opinion, I don't think it's always just a lack of vision.

It's actually a depth perception problem, meaning we believe it's outside of us. It's further away than it is. It's something we're supposed to be pursuing or chasing. So we have this depth perception that it's five years away, 10 years away, 20 years away. And that's the great lie. The truth is that version of you exists right now. And you just say it more beautifully than I do. For me, it's a depth perception vision issue. For you, it's God wants you to see you, he says in his book, the way that he sees you. And I want to ask you about something. I was watching something from Rick Warren a while back and it just dawned on me. I'm just being vulnerable. I'd

like you and I to go back forth on this because I think it gets to the root of a lot of the work in the book, which is so good. I'm watching this clip from Rick Warren, brother, and he was talking about the modern day person of faith. We're worshiping God all the time. We love God. We love the Lord, but yet he said, how good are you at letting the Lord love you? And it struck me because I think for me, that's just been a metaphor for my entire life. I've loved God all my life. I've loved other people all my life. By the way, I have a little clue about you on this too. And if there's something I have struggled with, it's my acceptance of the love of other people that God's put in my life. And oftentimes,

if I really get to the root of it, it's the acceptance of God's love for me. And there's a little bit of a block there, there has been for me, as I'm always almost trying to earn other people's love, or I can feel it always almost trying to earn other people's love or I can feel it when I give it to other people but I often don't just allow myself to just bask in the glow of how much God loves me or even my family sometimes just actually feeling loved. And when I was reading your book I think it's the great conversation I've been having with myself for quite a while now if I'm being honest and since I've got you here today I'll been having with myself for quite a while now, if I'm being honest. And since I've got you here today, I'll have it with you. But do you struggle with that at all? And do you,

do you think maybe that's correlated to what we're talking about here? I didn't, I didn't know we were going to go here, but let's go here. Okay. I, I sat down when I met you a few years ago. And when I saw that we got to sit next to each other, I was so happy because I wanted to meet you because I had seen your stuff. I had no idea we were sitting together. You didn't either. I looked at you and I said, oh my goodness, I've wanted to meet you for a while. I've wanted to meet you really bad. I'm really excited about this." And you looked at me and you're like, I feel the exact same way about you. And my initial response to that was shock.

I honestly would have never thought that you would know who I was, care who I was, seen any of my stuff. And as we talked that night, the reason, like you said earlier, that we looked up, you know, two hours later and our food was cold and there were other people too, is because we started to talk about things that I think a lot of times would surprise people that you struggle with. Um, we were talking specifically about when we speak and beating up on ourselves and replaying the tape of what we said and you know going home and and for the next two days just feeling like we completely failed and you know sometimes it is better that

we connect through our vulnerability rather than trying to impress each other with our strengths. Yeah. And isn't it crazy that I had watched several of your, I guess I'd watched several of your interviews, several of your talks. And the thought that you would want to have me on would have never occurred to me. Like I would love to share in this conversation with you, but I wouldn't have felt like I had what I needed. So what I'm learning, Ed, and man, I really hope somebody can get this today, because I was praying on the way in, somebody is going to hear this, who really feels insufficient,

who really feels like, no, I can't let God's love in. I'm not really going to let you in. feels like, no, I can't let God's love in. I'm not really going to let you in. But actually, with God's love, it's exactly the opposite, because He's the one who knows you. That's what He says to Jeremiah, right? Before you were born, I knew you. So the one who knows me the best loves me the most. And that sets me free, because if He

chose you, knowing that you would go through the divorce if he chose you knowing that you would struggle with managing your money or knowing that you would have the learning disability or knowing that you would fail at the first business or knowing that you would struggle to get it off the ground if he chose you knowing that, if he put you in the situation, this is what I've come to believe Ed, if he put me in it, then he put it in me. And I know not everybody listening has the same type of faith, but to believe that you were created, see that's the key for me, that I was created in the image of God. And so I like to go to the biblical story of Moses

and y'all, Ed told me I could preach a little bit today because that's the only thing I know how to do. And I hope you'll forgive me if I just kind of gloss over these Bible stories, but Ed, I was going up to preach about Moses a couple of years ago. It was during COVID times when we were only allowed to let like a hundred people in the room and space them out. And it was during COVID times when we were only allowed to let like

100 people in the room and space them out. And it was a weird time to preach because the auditorium would feel so empty. And my oldest son, the one that we talked about, Elijah, he was there on the front row with me. And I was talking about how God chose Moses and called him to go lead the nation of Israel out of slavery. And I was saying, you know, like I'll say to you today, you probably haven't been chosen to lead an entire nation through the wilderness. And, you know, probably what you've been called to do is different to raise that kid or to make what God has put in your heart to make the dream that you have happen.

But God has called you and chosen you for something. Right. And I talked about that feeling that Moses had because he's like, but God has called you and chosen you for something, right? And I talked about that feeling that Moses had because he's like, but God, I can't go to Pharaoh and tell him let my people go. I can't speak. I'm not a good speaker, and all I have in my hand is a staff. And then God asked Moses, who made man's mouth? All right, so at that point in the sermon, something really cool happened. Before I got up to speak, and I get chills remembering this, I had handed my oldest son my wallet and before I handed it to him, I didn't tell him why I was handing it to him, he just thought I was trying to get it out my pocket to put my microphone on probably. And when I handed it to him, I had counted that there was

$432 or whatever in the wallet. And so at the end of my sermon, almost as if it was an afterthought, I said, Elijah, get up here, get up here. And the band's playing, you know, and we're closing. It's almost like we're closing prayer. And I said, I need $432. And he looks at me blank, like just staring headlights. Like you think I have $432. I'm 16 you know and I said I need $432 and Ed I wish we could play the clip for everybody you can see the moment in the video where his eyes light up and he remembers that oh my dad gave it to me before he asked it from me. And he pulls out the wallet. Yeah, yeah, it was a moment of revelation. It's like my father gave it to me before he asked it from me. So that's what I have to remember every time I step into a moment like this moment with you today. This is

challenging for me. I get nervous before I come and share with all the thousands or millions of people that you impact, but I have to remember if God put me and Ed together today, whether at that table or whether on this conversation, if he put me in this situation, he put it what I need to deliver in me. And I think you can believe that about any season of your life if you choose to, but you have to step into it and realize that he won't ask it from you if he didn't give it to you. So good. Oh my gosh.

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there's even kind of a glow people are telling me to my skin. So we've worked a special offer from my audience. Receive 15% off your first order go to try armra.com Slash my let to get 15% off your first order. That's try try ARM ra dot-com slash my let join me and thousands of others who are making a real difference in their health See I knew when we did this today, something really great would happen, but I didn't know how early in the interview,

just to really be honest with you, because that dinner that I, by the way, he is right. When we talked that night, what bonded me to you, one, you're my kind of dude. He's a workout guy, right? He's a dude. So when you meet someone that you've admired for a long time, I don't want to say put them on a pedestal, but you put them on a pedestal.

And then when I met him, I thought the pedestal just got higher, even though he was willing to be vulnerable with me. Somehow it got higher when we sort of revealed to one another our imperfections about, you know, every element of our speaking and how we beat one another up. And I think I've always struggled a little bit with imposter syndrome, just a little, not to the, I think everybody has some of it. I mean, I've, I've coached former leaders of countries, brother, that like have told me they struggled with it and told me some incredible stories. And I've never really been helped with it until I read his book.

And I'm serious. There's a part of the book where you talk about the Apostle Paul, and I never really looked at it this way, but he really had imposter syndrome. He actually verbalizes it, right? And it's connected to the piece that you just said, but if you would just tell that story for a second for everybody, whether you're a believer or not, everyone, you'll resonate with this version of the story and it did for me anyway and it's something I've repeated to my son now. I think my son's a golfer and so he struggles with that before tournaments. I've repeated the story to him now I think four times in three weeks. So if you would share it with everyone here, that'd be great. Yeah, the thing I love about these great Bible characters and the reason I love talking about

the Bible is because it doesn't hide their imperfections. Like you read the Bible, you read about the greatest characters and you're like, okay, if God could use them, maybe he can use me too. You don't come away from the Bible going, well there's no shot for me. It's like well, you know, Peter was one of the main disciples and he was cussing and cutting off somebody's ear while Jesus was going to the cross trying to forgive sin. So like that's what I mean by chosen, okay? And if you think about the Apostle Paul, he was brilliant. I mean he was brilliant, don't get me wrong.

It wasn't like Paul didn't have a great intellect, but I think what you're referring to is there's a moment in the scripture where Paul is being challenged and they're saying like, you're not like the super apostles. They actually had a group. Like this really fits in with what we're talking about today because you know, we have influencers and people that we consider successful and that we label like they've arrived. Well, they actually had a group called the super apostles. That's what they called them. And Paul's going like, oh, I know I'm not like your super apostles, and I know what y'all say about me when I'm not around. You say that in person he's unimpressive. All right, this is the guy,

if you take the Bible and take the New Testament, he wrote a third of it. A third of the New Testament in the Bible is from this guy. And there were people saying in the comment section on Paul's YouTube, hey, he's all right. You know, he's got no idea. All right, so that's Paul, right? So Paul says this thing, he's like, I know I'm not as eloquent as Apollos, who's one of the other speakers.

Like they were competing just the same in those days. None of this is new, it's just all sped up now. It's just all glowing now, but it's always been this way. So Paul says, I know what you're saying about me, that I'm unimpressive. And he basically says, but when I am weak, then I am strong. And I thought about it, Ed. I thought about the other speaker who was apparently a better speaker than Paul, Apollos, and how he was such a great speaker. But you know, there's not one book in the Bible that Apollos wrote, and yet a third of the New Testament is Paul's letters. So here's what I wonder, if Paul had been able to speak like Apollos, would he have written like Paul? And if he had spoken like Apollos, they didn't have microphones and audio recording and pro tools, they didn't have equipment to

record, so we have no record of what Apollos said, but we have what Paul said forever. Wow. So it is the thing that is your limitation in your eyes that is your greatest opportunity in God's hand. I'm gonna say that again. It's the thing that is your greatest limitation in your own eyes that is your greatest opportunity in God's hands, but you've got to give that thing to Him and say, all right, I'm going to take what I have and in my weakness, I am strong. I think that means that God wants to use the things that we want to hide. God wants to use the things in our life. And I know some people may hear me talking about God and Paul in the Bible. You're like, hey, that's not even what I believe. I get that, but the principle is still true. It is in your weakness that you lean in and find strength that you didn't know you had. And so I think it's a great encouragement to me

that if Paul was called unimpressive and he went on to impact the entire world, that whatever it is that you're saying to yourself about yourself, I believe that if you bring that to God and submit it to him, he knows what he gave you. You know, see, brother, see, the contrast to that is, and you have a chapter in this book, there's a chapter in the book, it might be my favorite one, there's just random chapters called The Lizard is Loud.

And so the contrast to that, and it has to do with your daughter, Abby, I want you to tell this story. Cause I think what you just said is so beautifully true and profound yet there's this other part of us that's always trying to survive, right? And shrink. I think it's shrink and give into,

I don't know, this other voice that's in our head, this other notion that's the antithesis of what you just described. And I just think facts tell, stories sell, right? And so this story with your daughter in the book, I think is really illustrative of the other side of this thought process. And so tell them about the lizard being loud.

This is so good. By the way, I told you I read every word of the book. You did. And I don't know if you can correct me on my science because when she was about seven, I have two boys and my youngest child is my daughter Abby. And when she's about seven, she wanted to hold her breath and swim to the other side of the pool underwater and not have to come up for air. And I was like, well, you know, your brothers didn't do it until they were nine. So if you do it when you're seven, you'll beat them by two years. So she's all fired up.

And I said, all right, I can coach you. And I started telling her about the lizard brain. Isn't that like actually scientifically incorrect? The way I taught it to her, I think like, the good news is I know it's a survival brain. And so I went with it. So I think you're okay. That was me.

I was like, for a seven year old, this will work. Like I know it's a survival brain and so I went with it. So I think you're okay. Well that was me. I was like for a seven-year-old this will work. I know somebody will fact check this. I'm at 53 and it worked for me so I think you're good. Yeah I was telling her, you know, like obviously your amygdala and the survival part of your brain and the fact that, and I just told her, I was like, I'm gonna call it the lizard brain. And she's like, there's a lizard in my brain? Like, no, no, it's called the lizard brain because, and I explained her that I butchered the science behind it, but I was telling her about the

survival part, right? And how it kicks into fear and tells you things that aren't true. And I said, so when you go down, the lizard is going to tell you, you're going to die. You got to come up right now. You can't keep swimming. So it was like kind of a combination of a pep talk and like finding Nemo, like, you know, like just keep swimming. So I'm coaching her up and I'm like, when the lizard tells you you can't do it, don't listen and you can swim to the other side. So she goes down and she does it the first time and she pops up and she gasped. She's like, man, that lizard is loud. she's like, man, that lizard is loud. And she said, she said it like in the cutest seven year old, man, that wizard is wow. So, so I'm like, but you did it. I gotta tell you though, that lizard is loud. All the people that I work with, even people of faith, that lizard is loud in your life. And it's

you, it, you drowning that out and being faithful and tying into God's love and what God believes in you and believes about you and what he knew when he was forming you in the womb. These are things that you guys, all of you that listen every single week, you're trying to find this hack. And what I'm telling you is the ultimate hack, whether you're a believer or not, is what we're describing today. You don't need the hack, okay? It was already given to you.

The case has already been made for you, right? Case is closed. The sacrifice has already been made. You don't have to earn this stuff. And for me, when I look at Steven, when we met that night, and when we've talked since, is you give me permission, brother, to struggle, and that it's okay that I struggle a little bit. In other words, not all these people that I've admired in every area of my life just have it totally dialed in

all the time. Because I got interviewed recently at this live event and somebody said to me, hey, what's the key thing that you know about all these successful people that have been on your show that most people wouldn't know about? And I said, do you really wanna know the truth?

And I said, I don't mean this in a demeaning way because many of them are my best friends. But I said, everybody's screwed up, just a little bit. Everybody's trying to find their way. And the screwed up part of it, the false belief is that they're not perfect in the image and likeness of God. That they have these flawed beliefs that they have to achieve something

or get to a certain place before they've earned it. Or if I get X, Y, and Z and then I'll be happy. And so everyone's screwed up. Everyone's sort of winging it a little bit. We're all on this journey of having a relationship on our faith that grows. And this is what I've been really dying to ask you since I knew you.

The relationship that I have with God, I wanna ask you about this for you. The relationship that I have with God, I want to ask you about this for you. Is it a relationship in the sense for you that it ebbs and flows even as a pastor? Do you have ups and downs in that journey or for you is it just a straight up trajectory all the time? Because when things happen in my life, I'll have a, I almost feel like the doubts I've had or the struggles I've had in my life have only strengthened my faith. And that I embrace it now as a relationship that's growing. I know that's probably not a pastor question,

but I'm curious about that for you. Is yours a relationship, I don't know about ebbs and flows, but has times where it's growing more than others, let's say it that way. Is that true for you or not? It should be a pastor question. It should be a question that you wouldn't even have to ask, but unfortunately you do because a lot of times what we present to people, those of us who preach and lead is I don't want to say that it's a false or a fake expectation of a relationship

with God, but we almost get people to think that you know faith and and trusting in God. I have one chapter in the book called Ugly Trust and yeah the idea behind it is like some of the times in my life when God was doing the most, I felt him the least. And that goes for every area of preaching, teaching, leading. Like Ed, I could tell you about the times where I finished delivering God's Word, given invitation, ask people do they want to give their life to Jesus, and people raise their hands, and I can see tears in their eyes and go back and collapse on the floor and feel no God anywhere in my body no

no trace and and I don't know if this is I don't know if this is something that I Don't know if this is something that makes people feel afraid that those of us who are pastors and spiritual leaders have moments where we feel completely in the dark. We don't know what God is doing either. We're sharing encouragement with others and we're not being hypocrites, but we're humans. And while we're up encouraging you about your kids are going to be okay and God's protecting your family, we're worried about our kids being on drugs. And while we're up encouraging you about your kids are gonna be okay and God's protecting your family. We're worried about our kids being on drugs and while we're up encouraging you about like rejoice in the Lord and we're struggling with depression. Depression

has been a part of my life and my journey. So has therapy. Not I went to therapy for three sessions and they gave me a Bible verse like real og twice a week therapy and I didn't understand and here's why because I was taught Almost that if I had faith in God and trust in God That some of these things like anxiety and depression They were almost taught to me like they were sins, Ed. Like they were actually sins to deal with those. So now you feel like, well, what right do I have to help others? How can I introduce other people to joy when I can barely get out of the bed? And I've had those days.

And I remember specifically a time when the church was really growing. Our church is And it was thousands of people. I remember sitting down with Holly one night and we're having dinner and it had been a really horrible day in the office and this person quit and that person needed to be fired, but we didn't have anybody to replace them. And everything is going on. And I remember sitting down with Holly and I was like, Oh, I'm going to have to do this again.

And I was like, Oh, I'm going to have to do this again. And I was like, Oh, I'm going to have to do this again. And I was like, Oh, I'm going to have to do this again. And I was like, Oh, I'm going to have to do this again. And I was like, Oh, I'm going to have to do this again. And I was like, Oh, I'm going to have to and this person quit and that person needed to be fired but we didn't have anybody to replace him and everything is going on and I told her I said the town I grew up in had less people than the church that I pastor I'm not prepared for this I don't know how to do this I'm not the leader that we need." And Holly goes, well, you're the one we've got. And I just pushed back for the rest of the meal.

And I'm like, I don't think that the reason that God uses certain people and calls certain people is because of their perfections or because they have it all together. I think it has to do with their availability, their willingness to let him in to those cracks. I love what the lyricist Leonard Cohen, he said, there's a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. That's how the light gets in through that crack. So you keep talking about your cracks all you want, but you still have a calling. You still have a calling even though you struggle with maybe even suicidal thoughts. You still have a calling even though some of you this week you thought to yourself, I don't

even know if I want to go on living anymore. You still have a calling. God's calling on your life is not canceled out because you have low moments. And I want you to write this down somewhere where you can see it in the future. Great faith has low moments. Those low moments where you don't feel God, where you don't feel hope, those are the moments that teach you to go by faith. If you always felt it, you wouldn't need faith. So I understand that ebb and flow ed almost like not God leaving me, but that's God leading me not by my senses, but by my spirit.

So those moments I found out that I can't feel him, I can't sense him, I'm foggy, I don't understand it, I'm struggling with my own stuff. All of those moments, that's where the light gets in. That's where the growth happens. And I know there are thousands of people today who are listening to us and they're like, well, I guess the dream wasn't real. I guess I was just delusional. Look at everything that's happening to me. But we don't walk by sight. We walk by faith. And in my experience, Ed, that's where God has broken through the most.

I just wrote a song this week. I'm gonna send it to you. It's not mixed and everything yet, but I'll send it to you. And it says, I remember God how you carried me when I couldn't take a step. And I remember how you loved me when I couldn't love myself. And I wrote that lyric because I felt that way at times, like, isn't that how the grace of God is? It comes in when you can't find a reason to feel good about yourself. That's where I've experienced His presence the most, even though I didn't feel it at the time. This last five minutes is why I'm doing the show. I'm going to get emotional. I just heard

these words in my head, this is why you did the show. I don't mean this episode, I mean this entire podcast right for right now. That answer right there is why I started this show and I've done 600 interviews is what just came through you right now. Wow. I'm telling you, that was absolutely amazing. And I'm so grateful that I got to be here for that and that millions of people are gonna hear what you just said. I am I'm grateful and I didn't mean this to happen in this sequence. Hey guys so I've been talking about Babel for a long time because to some

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know yourself and your roots better in 2024 with ancestry. DNA want to know where your family comes from in northern France? Maybe you'd like to see how your genes influence certain traits like diet, fitness, and allergies. There's so much of you in your heritage to discover. Visit Ancestry.ca and get started with an Ancestry DNA kit today. So talk about grateful with an 8 in it, but they put you like they picked you up relocated you into this this hypothetical thing called a bad mood. And so I am very honest in that part of the book that the mindsets go like this. The six mindsets go.

I'm not stuck unless I stop. Christ is in me. I am enough with God. There's always a way and by faith, I will find it. God is not against me stop unless I stop. Christ is in me. I am enough. With God there's always a way and by faith I will find it. God is not against me but he's in it with me, working through me, fighting for me. I'll skip to the sixth one. The sixth one says God has given me everything I need for the season I'm in. But the fifth one, my wife Holly says it's her favorite and it's the shortest one and it says,

my joy is my job. And you really did read this book because you are quoting the book like that's amazing. So thank you for reading it. But yeah, I think I come from a place where I wouldn't describe myself as naturally happy. I played a game with the kids like a year to go. And this goes back to what you asked me before. like as a pastor, do you struggle with these things? Do you feel your relationship with God ebbs and flows? Not only do I feel that way, but I almost felt like it was a joke that I had to write a chapter on joy when it's something that I struggle so much to live in because I'm more focused on pressure,

I'm more focused on performance, I'm more focused on what still has to be done. I was preaching, I was preaching a sermon on this Ed and I did the Kobe quote from 2009 when they said, aren't you happy? And he said, what's there to be happy about? The job's not finished. And I was like, I get it, man, that unfinished feeling that keeps me from embracing today and enjoying what God has given me. And you're right, it can sound like the most cliched thing in the world. Go to Walmart, go to Target, get your gratitude journal,

and do your gratitudes at night or in the morning. And I had one of those overwhelming moments where I was feeling completely paralyzed and stuck. And I wrote down all my morning routine things and the list was literally filling up a whole page and I felt God say, um, and when I say that I felt God say, I want to stop on that. I didn't hear anything out loud. It was just like the thought that aligned with what I believe is true. That's what I mean when I felt God say, okay?

Cause I, I used to hear people say, I'm so glad you said that. Cause people that people that aren't in the church will often say, what is it? Exactly. And I think it's different for different people, but I'm glad you just said it that way. I mean, it's like, sometimes it's a whisper. It's a whisper inside of you. It's not, it's not anything that feels overwhelming.

It's kind of like, you just, you know, it, And the more you practice it, the more you walk in it, the more you know, oh, that's God's voice. That's not the lizard. You know, that's the lizard telling me to give up on this. That's the lizard telling me this person didn't call you back because they rejected you because everybody rejects you because you suck. And that's the lizard.

But the voice of the Lord, the more that you get in tune with that and the more you respond to it, the more than you get in a rhythm with him and you start to know like, oh, that's my spirit. That's God's voice. That's the Holy Spirit. That's what God sounds like. So in that moment, I felt God say, you have more than enough tools to get you out of this feeling that you have right now.

Choose one and do it. Choose one and do it. And so I decided that my gratitude practice needed to be more of a strategy. And Holly laughs at this, Ed. I think maybe me and you are really messed up, like really, really messed up our personality because Holly's like, you do all these gratitude practices and activities and everything. It's like, don't you ever just feel grateful? Can't you ever just feel it?

I'm like, no, I have to force it. I'm admitting that to millions of people right now, whoever will hear this, because maybe you're like, oh, well then there's hope for me too because, you know, gratitude can actually be a strategy, even if it's not your natural starting place, even if it's not how you wake up. So I made up the Grateful Eight thing. And like you said, anxiety, fear, a way out of only seeing what's wrong. I just do, I don't know how many people watch the video and how many people just listen to this conversation, but if you could see me right now, I take my hand and I kind of trace the outline of my hand

and I start, let me see, I can't do it real good with the microphone but I just, it makes eight and it reminds me of God's hand on my life and I just, I take eight things. God, I thank you for my conversation with Ed today. I thank you for the sermon Holly recorded. I thank you for the new song that we wrote that's given me life. I thank you that I got to ride to church with Abby today and she's serving on the photography team and she looks so cute in her all black photography outfit. I thank you God and I do it and usually by the time I get to eight if you do that it's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I'm tracing my hand if you can't see it doesn't matter.

If I do it quick and don't filter it, it doesn't have to be grateful for world peace or grateful for you know for the healing of the nation or something that's so big, something real concrete, something that comes quick. And I just do it. And I say, God, you've done great things for me. My heart is filled with praise today. And I do it. And I can shift it.

And it's one of the practices. I know that everyone here has been exposed to a gratitude practice, but for me, it is a tool. And if nothing else, you might be like, I don't even know what you're talking about, tracing your hand or eight in the middle of grateful. Okay, just remember this. Gratitude is the greatest strategy to fight back against anxiety.

Because a grateful heart is a stable heart. And sometimes when we have that lizard brain, when I, when I asked Abby and she said, man, that lizard is loud. I said, what did you say back to the lizard? And she said, I just told him, shut up lizard. We're doing this. And I love it. And it's like gratitude and getting, getting grateful, not just in my mind, it's

not just grateful for the things. This is a big shift, but it's grateful to the one who gave the things. Yeah, because the things come and go. But if God is the giver, then there's always more where that came from. So it is very important that you get a strategy for gratitude, especially if you're like me and you're always thinking of how you could be better, how it could be better, how you could make it better, and that one practice has changed my life. Well, it's what I'm using now. And you know, everybody, the reason I wanted Stephen on,

I've had other pastors on. One, I just love him. I think he's incredible. But two, those of you that aren't people of faith or you're not Christians specifically, I want you to know like these are real people. And what I love about him is because when you watch this man speak, I'm just gonna be honest with you, he won't accept this. You're gonna see something that is so anointed, almost superhuman to communicate. And he won't accept that, but it is unbelievable. The anointing this man has. And so a lot of people that have seen his videos online, they'll see that version. And so the reason I wanted him on a show with me is for you to know, no, this is a real human being with real frailties and flaws and things he's trying

to overcome in his life. And that if he can reach and help the amount of people he has reached and you know that he's a real human, what could you be doing in your life? Because I think it breaks down that barrier of it's almost intimidating when even I think probably the reason I'm much more vulnerable over the years on my show is I don't want any illusion that I have all this figured out that I'm a work in progress. I wanted to share with you because I haven't told you this personally,

but it fits in the work of the book about really accepting the true me. I was at a really down point in my life many, many years ago. And again, this ebbs and flows, but when I prayed, I would always be grateful to God and worship God. I love worship music. I love worship in general. It's just something that my heart loves. But this is a really down point in my life. And I actually got on my knees one night, I still pray on my knees. And I prayed one night, I'm actually writing a book, I think that will be titled this right now.

But I said, Lord, I said, Father, just tonight, tell me about me. Tell me about me. And it'll make me emotional now, but because a lot of my very close friends know this. They're like, why when we're together, you're always telling me about me and it'll make me emotional now, but because a lot of my very close friends know this They're like why when we're together you always telling me about me Like I'll take a minute go brother. Let me just tell you about you It's because this particular night and it brought me to tears and again, I can't even describe it either Was it audible words? I heard was it just a feeling I had was it I can't even Describe to all of you how I received this message, frankly, but I received it.

And it was my father pouring into me how much he loved me and how strong I was and how he gave me this deep voice to communicate and my kind heart and that I really care about people and that I feel emotions so deeply and that I love and it was my heavenly father pouring into me about me. And I left that prayer that night different, very different and almost like I feel like what you write about in the book, like I heard the true me. And it's not that it hasn't gone backwards from there, but it's a point I can always go back to in my life and reference when I really need to be grateful, when I really need to remind myself. It's not that I don't drift from that moment, everybody.

We always have this, that moment changed my life and then a year later it's not changed. But it really did change me because when I do get far away from it, I can go back to that. It changed especially how I interact with other human beings, but also what I've accepted about me. I want to grow and change and expand, but I'm made in the Lord's image and likeness right now as I am.

I can have both. I can be loved and accepted and get all of God's grace in the moment that I'm in right now and still wanna grow and improve and get better to be the next exciting version of me that he also already knows and already expects. So for me, that was a life changing moment was tell me about me. And I'd love all of you today. As you listen to these two men go back and forth, you know, give yourself that

gift. And by the way, if you don't even have a person, what, what would you assume he would say about you and just begin to ask yourself that question? So I just wanted to share that to you brother, because it was a defining moment for me and it fits into the book and your work. You know what I'm saying? It is. No, no, like, like the time limit on this

conversation is what's killing me because like you just said what I was burdened about when I wrote the book. It's like, on one hand, it's like, oh, just do you, there's grace and grace and grace and grace and grace. It's like, one hand, it's like, oh, just do you. There's grace and grace and grace and grace and grace. It's like, well, I want to grow. I want to, you know, I want to just be like whatever I am right now. I want to, I want to become what I get a glimpse of. I call that the glimpse. Like when God told you about you, it's a glimpse. So whether we're using an auditory God's telling you or He's

showing you, it's both, you know, he's like, that's the glimpse. And I see me for a moment. Okay. But then there's the gap. There's the gap between my ability to live in that glimpse and grow into that glimpse. So my favorite quote, I think I heard you say it the first time and you just said it real quick. And I was like, what is that? I got to look that up. But you said, you quoted someone else saying it that if you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them. Right. And I was like, said that like, that was nothing. That's amazing. If you argue for your limitations, you get to keep them. Right. So you live in them. So I sat with that quote for about a year after I heard you say it the first time. And I thought about it, I was

like, what would I, what would I say after that say after that that's so true okay if you argue for your limitations you get to keep them but if you agree with God about your potential you get to grow into it. Neither should your SPF. Introducing Daily UV Moisturizer from Umbrell. Broad spectrum protection and all day hydration in one lightweight formula from the number one recommended brand by pharmacists and physicians. It's the unskippable SPF for your unstoppable day. New Umbrell Daily UV Moisturizer. Now available online or at your local retailer. So I want to tell somebody today you get to grow into it.

You get that glimpse and that glimpse that you're getting that is loving that is full that is free that is kind that isn't addicted that doesn't have these chains holding you down. That's able to generate an idea. You get a glimpse of it. That's your Father telling you about you. That's the you that He knew. A-N-E-W. That's what you're becoming. So yes, you can have both. That's it, Ed. You can have both. You can be fully accepted by God as you are right now, while at the same time knowing I have not even started to become what he knows I really am and I'm not chasing something that's out there. It's in me because God lives in me Christ is in me I'm enough because Christ is in me and for me I mmm, I just need I need both I can't just have this attitude of well

God loves me. I'm a sneak in heaven in the back door one day So I might as well just you know, keep on being rude. I keep on being hateful Keep on having a bad temper like no, no, no, no I want to grow into what he says about me So as you grow into that glimpse that God gives you treasure those prizes, I just had a similar thing I just had a similar thing. I just had a similar thing to what you had a couple days ago when we were recording a new song and I wasn't planning to go up on stage but the song just got so good that I had to go up and I went into this moment and I sang a little bit and I have a lot of

insecurities about my singing voice Because usually I'm working with singers who that's all they do is sing and I'm kind of a preacher who sings I can sing A little bit. I know enough music to do my songwriting But I'm usually with some of the best musicians best singers, so it messes with me right and if I'm up on the stage I'm like, well, they'd rather hear one of them sing but every once in a while I feel like it's special for me to do it and it's a part of who I am. So I went to sing and I sang and it went good and whatever. And the next day I was reviewing the songs like, all right we got to start figuring out how to release this stuff.

And I heard a voice on the recording and I was like wait, that's the part I sang, but that's not me singing it. So I'll pull up the video. And I went to that part on the video. And the guy holding the mic at that moment, singing those notes was me. That was my voice. And I zoomed it in.

I was like, ah, there's something going on here. And it wasn't like anybody had time to go overdub anything. So I know that's my voice. I'm looking at me singing that and I don't think I can sing that. And I thought exactly what you said. Like, now I have a new reference point, a new revelation of what's inside of me. And when you get those in your life, you're right. You don't get to live in them.

It's not like I could walk out and just do it anytime, but I did it that time. And if I can do it that time, maybe there's more in me. And that's what me and Ed are teaming up to say to you today. That glimpse is real. That's the you that God knew before trauma set in, before abuse happened, before you disappointed yourself, before you learned that pattern, that you that you get a glimpse of that knows how to move forward, that knows how to stand up, that knows how I believe that is the glimpse of the image of God inside of you. So it's just amazing that we both recently had that glimpse experience and that we get to reach out to people

today and say God is giving you a glimpse of what he sees in you and he's inviting you to grow into and all you have to do to start with just agree with him about your potential okay God if you made me you made me like this then this is how you wanted me to be and I'm available to you to do what you want me to do so good I feel like I want to do this again with you where we have nothing else to discuss other than the things we're talking about right now just because we're in a moment right now I don't want to leave and so before we do, first off let me just say something to you. I love you and I'm grateful for you in my life and in the world and if y'all get a chance if you don't know Stephen

Just give yourself the gift of watching one of his messages one of his sermons listen to one of his songs You won't be the same That's he's so he doesn't like hearing this but you can't hear him once Any of their music any of elevation worships music, any of Elevation Worship's music or any of his sermons and it not impact you, whether you're a believer or not. I'm just telling you, he's anointed, he's gifted and it's my favorite stuff to do. It's odd to be talking to somebody that it's the main person's music I listen to and it's the main faith-based messages that I listen to are both the same person.

So thank you for everything, brother. I really am so grateful that you exist in the world and that you've pursued your calling, that you've answered God's call and that you continue to, and that you work on overcoming these things that could potentially limit that calling because God's kingdom needs you so badly. You're so important. Thank you. Let me ask you this last. Let's say someone's listening to this is a tough

one. They're listening to this today. And they've just always wondered about what happens when they die. Their life, the meaning of their life, why they were born. And that's always been a whisper. Everybody listening to this or watching this, that question has been whispering to you all your life It's the one question that's never gone away Some of you have answered it But some of you have not and so I'm just curious what you would say to that person who's like, you know I've looked at Christianity before I was a Buddhist for a while. I don't know. I'm agnostic. I don't know what I am, but I am

for a while, I don't know, I'm agnostic, I don't know what I am, but I am wondering still, you know? What would you say to that person as like a first step or a thought to hold in their mind that maybe they should consider today before we end the conversation? Well, I wanna talk to you like it's Sunday morning and we just finished having church together and I'm like, well, what do I do now?

And maybe you're thinking like, all right, all right, I need God in my life. I'm going to, I'm going to get my act together and clean it up. I've said I was going to do this for a long time. I'm going to get my act together. That's not coming to God, getting your act together. Because my belief is that we couldn't come to God so he came to us. It's as simple as that for me Ed. I couldn't come to God because he's perfect and I'm not perfect. I couldn't come to God because even my best faith is still full of doubt. I couldn't come to God

because even the best acts that I do are tainted with sometimes selfish motivations. And so I believe God is so rich in love and so gracious that he saw me in my need. He saw me in my sin. He saw the shame that I carried. And I believe he sent his son Jesus. And the first step of making your relationship with God right isn't changing your behavior is believing Just believing and believing doesn't mean you don't have any doubts. I don't know what happens when you die. I haven't done it yet

but I believe that when I die I Won't stand before God and he'll say you know for it. We've got a long list to go over of reasons I'm not gonna let you in before I send you to hell because he could do that I mean like I could make the list the list is long. I Believe that when I meet God face to face though, it's gonna be an embrace because of what his son Jesus did for me because he died for me and I placed my faith in that and I placed my faith in the grace of God The Bible says that it's not of works that were saved, it's the gift of God so nobody can boast.

So nobody can tell you, hey when you die you're gonna have to spend a hundred years atoning for the things you did wrong because of how horribly you raised your children or the years you spent addicted or all of the all of the things that you did that nobody else knew about. Well, God was watching you and now it's payback time. If you place your faith in Him, I believe that record of wrongs is nailed to the cross, forgiven and I believe that God takes everything righteous about His Son Jesus, places it on

you and welcomes you into his kingdom. And you're like, well, that's not fair, is it? No, it's not fair. It's faith. It's grace. And so my confidence in this life is the same as my confidence after this life, that by the grace of God, I am what I am. And that by believing in him, I'm saved. And I have no other hope that I'm not I'm not boasting in anything that makes me better than anyone else I just believe that Jesus paid it all for me and I stand on that every day of my life and that's how I stand up and preach and that's how I go in and

Apologize when I'm wrong and recover when I'm down is just knowing that you know I like to say it this way, religion is spelled D-O. Christianity is spelled D-O-N-E. It's already done. The price is already paid. All you have to do is place your faith in Him and He does the rest. What an amazing conversation. I'm glad, I'm frustrated that we waited this long and then today when it happened, it was supposed to happen right now. It was supposed to happen right now. I'm really affected by today, so thank you brother.

You've moved me today in a way that I didn't expect. I love you and I'm grateful for you. I hope everybody will go get the book, do the new you. I also just hope you, like I've said, go follow Stephen on Instagram at least. Go check him out. Check out his stuff. You're gonna love his music. You'll love his word. You'll love hearing him preach and hopefully today you fell in love with him even a little bit more like I have. So brother, thank you for today. It was outstanding and I want to do it again and I'm not kidding. We're going to do this again

but we're going to be doing it in person when I'm feeling a little bit better. I promise. I'm in man. I'm in. I loved creating with you today and I want to thank you for being a mirror to so many people, you know. You said tell me about me. You show people things about themselves that they never would have seen without you. Nobody does it like you. And I meant what I texted you a few months ago. How did you become the best interviewer in the world? And the only stipulation I have is at least one of the next times we do it. Let me ask you this stuff, man. I want to ask you, I just feel like your gift is so endless and I'm so thankful that we connected and I learned from you. I appreciate feel like your gift is so endless and I'm so thankful that we

connected and I learned from you. I appreciate you and thank you for having me on today. It's been amazing. That hour flew by, bro. That flew by. I looked up and like we have five minutes left. We've been here for 15 minutes. That was crazy. Alright everybody, go get, do the new you. Follow Steven. Share his message and this book will impact your life whether you're a believer or not. So go get it. God bless you everybody. Max out your life. This is The Ed Mylan Show.