THE ED MYLETT SHOW - How To Have Uncomfortable Conversations w/ Emmanuel Acho

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Get ready to learn the secrets of COURAGEOUS LIVING with Emmanuel Acho!  This episode is a treasure trove of insights from the multifaceted world of an NFL player turned influential speaker and author. Acho's journey through sports, public speaking, and his profound engagements with racial conversations sheds light on the transformative power of facing tough issues head-on. In this episode, Emmanuel shares the necessary impact of having brave, uncomfortable conversations and how they can lead to understanding and healing. His approach, honed through personal experiences and significant contributions as a missionary and public figure, offers a unique blend of wisdom that can change how we interact with the world. Here’s what you’ll discover in this remarkable and timely episode: How to turn challenging discussions into opportunities for growth and understanding Learn the significance of values and beliefs in shaping your interactions and decisions Sometimes, stepping back is a strategic move… Learn when and how to disengage wisely Hear how encounters with icons like Oprah and Dr. Wayne Dyer have influenced Emmanuel’s unique leadership style Explore the importance of genuine, physical gestures, like hugs, in healing divisions Learn how Emmanuel is intertwining missionary work with public advocacy to enrich both the community and his personal life This episode is a masterclass in personal development and societal healing.  Tune in to transform how you engage with the world and harness the full potential of your dialogues for positive change. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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That's linkedin.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. This is The Admired Show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. So I'm excited to have this man on the show. I think he's got the best energy on all of television. In fact I was just watching him on speak on FS1 about, I don't know, hour and a half ago. I was

just literally watching him. So he changed out of those beautiful clothes he was on. He's got a sweatsuit for me. So that tells you what he thinks of me. I'm just kidding. I've had his brother on the show, Sam. He just comes from a remarkable family. Former NFL linebacker. This guy's done so much. Emmy, a win winning series that he's got that he produced called Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man. He had a great book called Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Boy. So I figured I need to have him on so we can just have an uncomfortable conversation

and change some lives. So Emmanuel Ocho, welcome to the show. My brother, I've heard nothing but good things. I call you a brother because you've had my brother on my blood brother, Sam Ocho. I'm y'all's conversation was fantastic. So I am looking forward to this dialogue, dude. I don't talk often outside of my sports show. But when I, when I find genuine people and meaningful people do it I'm excited. Well I'm grateful for that and we're gonna skip

around a little bit today guys because I told him before we started his personal development what I call like self-help improve your life content is incredible and you could miss it because he's such a cultural figure now it talks about such heavy issues important issues and then of course he's such a cultural figure now and talks about such heavy issues, important issues, and then of course he's got his sports background. But in there deep is his personal development stuff which is outstanding. So we'll move in and out but let's talk about these uncomfortable conversations first. What happened to, I just got to ask you this, what happened to don't discuss race, religion or politics? That's what when I was growing was like, hey, your family's coming over, let's

have some peace. No race, no religion, no politics. And yet you go completely the other direction. Man, we live in a world, Ed, where that's life now. To not discuss it, I feel like would be to not discuss humanity. I feel like it would be to not discuss you, Ed, not discuss me, Emmanuel, because we are individuals who have a racial identity. We're individuals who have a religious identity. We're individuals who every four years,

more potent than others, have political identities. So I personally don't discuss politics because of how convoluted that particular conversation gets, but to not discuss race, to not discuss religion, that's to not discuss humanity. So I just think we're deeper humans than that. Although we're not going to discuss politics, you and I both know we're about to enter a six or eight month window coming up that I worry about our country in, to be really honest with you. I worry about the nature of the dialogue the vitriol

I worry about that a lot. So a why do you think most people avoid it and then B What could you help us understand that we need to know to prevent? Frankly, what could be like a really chaotic next six to eight months of most of our lives dominated by The noise and the division and the You know people, you know really digging into their positions Well, I think the first thing I try to do and I've been advised to do is just be cognizant of who you converse with Not everyone is worthy of your time. Oftentimes I had back with my show Uncomfortable conversations you mentioned I won an Emmy for it by the grace of God. People say, Emmanuel, you should have a conversation with this person or you should

have a conversation with that person. I said, Ed, they're not trying to have a conversation, they're trying to have an argument. I'm not looking to have uncomfortable arguments. I'm looking to have uncomfortable conversations that will quickly become comfortable. I also think, Ed, bro, we, we far too often as people, we miss the aspect of listening to understand. We just listen to respond and listen to respond. But did you even hear what I was trying to say? And I think that's why people avoid it because they're not particular enough or prudent enough with who they have conversations with and as a result they exhaust themselves. You know what?

You're right about both those things. One thing has changed as I've become older is I do, I never did before. I approach conversations more now. I just enjoy them more to understand more than I do to be understood. And I actually have uncovered that if you feel as if I understand you, you're more open to understanding me and I can feel understood. My dad, before he passed away, my favorite man in the world was my dad. But like about every issue he and I were on different sides of or different perspectives.

And I actually, I got to tell you, this is how I'm saying something I've never said on the show before, but I wanted to say to you, because I just think your work so profound. My dad was in chemotherapy, like really struggling for his life. I know I'm losing him in the next six months to two years. And even at that, I had that ugly a conversation. It just, it, it literally wounded my soul when we did it. And what I did is what you just said, to give you an example. I called him back. I said, can we, let's do this again. Let me understand you. Just let me understand you. And it was like, it became a beautiful conversation because

I made that shift. You have this amazing piece of content, brother. I hope you remember it because people ask me sometimes and I don't about looking at people as if they're part of your house, the house analogy. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah. Windows, you got doors and you got floors. This is legit because I think it helps us see people at different places in our life, whether they are worthy of these conversations or not. So give them this, this example, this, you guys will not forget this. Listen to this. So I view my people in my life as aspects of a house.

In a house you have windows, you got doors, and you got floors. And the thing about your door friends is that a house, it has more windows and it has doors, and it has more doors than it has floors. Your door friends, they may come in and out of your life. They'll enter your life, they'll leave your life. They'll be there for a moment.

Your door friends are people who you will have friendships with for months, maybe even years. Then you have your window friends. Your window friends, they can see inside of your house. Your window friends text you on your birthday. can see inside of your house. Your window friends text you on your birthday. They can see inside your life. They text you on Christmas. They text you on Easter. They text you when you lose a loved one. They text you for the birth of a child. But your window friends, they don't really know intimate details about your life. Your door

friends come in and out of your life depending on the season of your life. If your life starts to get a little too cold, they might leave. If if the life starts to get a little too hot, they might leave. But you have to have grace for your door friends because they weren't dressed for the season. But then, wow, the oh so special floor friends. And though your house might only have one or two floors upstairs, downstairs, depending on your house, your floor friends are there for it all. They hold you up quite literally. They're there to catch your tears. They've heard all of your conversations.

They've heard your darkest secrets. They've heard your fears. And so I view in my life, my door friends, my window friends, my floor friends. But Ed, I think think the sweetest part of this all is understanding you need windows, you need doors, and you need floors. They all play parts in your house, which is your life. This show is sponsored by Airbnb. My next-door neighbor in Florida, every time they leave, they've been turning their house into an Airbnb and it's become a good side income for them and it's finally got me thinking about doing exact know what, when you leave it for an Airbnb, generat

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have to believe what you believe? I've always navigated this like I want my friends to share my value system But I think a value system is different than necessarily beliefs and I think a lot of times people just They conflate that so like the only people around them Agree with them on almost everything and then that's me like, I like people that disagree with me. It challenges me, expands my horizons, makes me think out of the box. It's actually stimulating conversation. If we're all just, yeah, man, yeah, I agree, you're right.

But it seems to me like not a real fruitful existence. But what's your take on that? Floor friends have to share your beliefs or just your values? Man, I believe in, I love how you define beliefs and values. I think people might define them differently in their own unique way. I would say it like your floor friends

should have similar roots, but they might have different branches. You feel me? Like your floor friends, the roots should be the same. And if you can visualize everybody listening and watching, if you can visualize a tree and a tree has several branches and it has different leaves but it has a root and from that

root it has the base of the tree and then it has branches. Your floor friends should have similar roots. If y'all got different branches, yo that is what it is. I do believe floor friends should share similar roots because, because if they don't, there will come a time when the sun exposes that friendship and then it comes down to, uh-oh, were they really a floor friend or did they just become a door friend?

Life will happen. You mean we might have Roe v. Wade situations. You might have Roe v Wade situations. We might have wars in the Middle East. We might have elections. We might have a racial tension. And all of a sudden it's like, wait a second. I didn't realize you were, and now all of a sudden, are they a floor friend or are they a door friend?

Wow, my gosh. All right, tough one. Here's one of the things I reason why I think people have a hard time being persuaded. I want you to speak to this and it's that if they change their point of view, they've disrespected their tribe or the group they're a part of. You know, and there's a lot of pressure on certain. You're really smiling. There's a lot of pressure on certain people. There is for me in my role. Steven was telling me, he goes, look, Matt, I'm on television and an issue that comes up about race.

He goes, while I'm on the air, I'm getting text messages from different people, very significant people tell him, you better say this, you better do that. And he said, it's difficult for me because if I vary from what my, whatever it is, you could have a political tribe, a racial tribe, a religious tribe, whatever that might be. If I change my mind or I take a position that's not part of my group, somehow I've disrespected or I may lose that group in terms of their loyalty to me. And I really feel like there's a lot of that in life right now because these window friends or these other people around are like, wow, if I change my mind about this or I let them know I've changed my mind about this, I've disrespected or I could lose this group of people.

And I think that's one of the reasons people neglect to change their minds sometimes. You see some of that and do you struggle with that? That's well said. I see a lot. The reason I do not struggle with that is because I believe that maintaining an ignorant opinion is to disrespect your own intellect. And I would rather disrespect my quote unquote tribe if my tribe is being ignorant than disrespect my own intellect if I have now unlocked the aperture of my mind to a new way, to a better way, to a more righteous way, to a more honest way, to a more just way. There is a lot of peer pressure to maintaining ignorance, but how can I maintain

ignorance? I believe it was Maya Angelou who said to know better is to do better. Like once you know better, do better. When do you know if you should disengage from a conversation? I disengage from conversations when I realize the intention of the other person isn't actually to draw a conclusion. One of my favorite questions to ever ask anybody in life, and it came from Oprah, after I recorded my second episode of Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black man, I sat down with Matthew McConaughey, he called me from a no-call or ID number. This is a true story, ladies and gentlemen.

McConaughey says, hey, I wanna sit down with you for your second episode of Uncomfortable Conversations. Mind you, I was producing it myself, Ed. I rented out a studio space in Austin by myself. I was not yet a mainstay television personality. I literally hired a wedding videographer because I had no video team. I found a friend who shot weddings.

I said, please stand in, shoot this for me. McConaughey watches the first episode. It had been seen by 25 million people in five days. And he says, hey, I want to have a conversation. I do not know to this day how he got my number. Me and Matthew McConaughey, we sit down for a conversation. Five days later, after that conversation airs, I get a call from another no-call ID number.

I pick it up. Hi, Emmanuel. Oprah Winfrey speaking. I say, Oprah, she says, yeah, you're free to FaceTime later today. I FaceTime her later that afternoon. Again, true story, ladies and gentlemen, she asked me one simple question, and one very simple question, and I live by this.

This brings this conversation full circle. She said, Emanuel, what is your intention? I said, Oprah, my intention is to change the world and I truly believe I can. I said, I'm currently working on writing a book. She said, books, I love books. And that's why Oprah and I partnered together to write the first several of the Uncomfortable Conversation series. Now bringing this full circle to answer your question, incredible, incredible. What is the intention of the person I'm talking to? That is how I know when to end a conversation.

If the intention of the person is a gotcha moment, I'm out. What do I mean by gotcha moment? Let's speak plainly. If the person just wants to try to make me look stupid, I'm out. If the intention of the person is to figuratively speaking dunk on me, if the intention of the person is to be like, boom, I got a manual, I'm out. If the intention of the person is not reconciliation, I'm out. If the intention of the person is not to hear what I have to say while simultaneously allowing me to hear what they have to say, I'm out.

So the best question we can ask anyone during the course of conversation is the question that Oprah asked me first. What is your intention? When I was really young, I won my first incentive trip to go to Hawaii. I'd never been there before as a kid. We didn't do that kind of thing. And maybe you know who this guy is, but I'll share this with you about intention. So I got up, no one worked out back in those days, I'm old enough, and I read this book called The Corporate Athlete, this guy named Gro Pell, and I'm like, I'm going to be an athlete businessman, right? I'm going to be one of the first ones who's like fit and jacked, but in business. And so I'm running on this beach in the morning, sun's not up yet,

and there's this guy running towards me coming the other way and I see him how old I was. I had a Sony Walkman on playing a cassette, so did he. It's how old I am. Anyway, this dude's running by me and I get, he's getting close. I'm like oh he's a bald dude. He's got like this hairy back and I'm like he's sweating. I'm like I don't want to bump this guy and as he runs by me, I look, it's Dr. Wayne Dyer who who was a hero of mine at the time, one of the great thought leaders, good man of all time. And I turn around, I go, Dr. Dyer, to just do your point. And he turns around, he's about maybe like 20 feet from me.

I said, you changed my life. And he goes, he had a deep voice like me, he goes, I doubt that. He goes, I bet you changed your life, but how did I help you? And he walks towards me and I end up sitting on the beach that day, brother, with Wayne Dyer watching the sun come up. At the end of the conversation, just to validate your point, he says to me, he goes, Ed, I

think you're going to change the world. Now I'm a young guy at the time, probably he said that to a hundred people, but to me, he had only said it to me. And he goes, it's not because you're a talented guy or brilliant or a great communicator, but he goes, I think you are. But he goes, it's not because you're a talented guy or brilliant or a great communicator, but he goes, I think you are. But he goes, it's because of your intentions. He goes, I think you have a good heart. I think you're a good man. I think you want to make a difference. And he said, would you do me a favor the rest of your life, would you attach all of your confidence and your worth not to your abilities or your results, but to your intentions?

Because if it's about your abilities and your results, you'll be chasing your tail and letting yourself down all the time. And then he wrote a book called The Power of Intention. I've never been more convinced of what someone has said on my show than what you just said right there, than any point ever made on the show. Because that has literally been the key

to whatever limited success I've had in my life is focusing on my intentions at all given times. So I just want to acknowledge what you said right there. It's profound and it's brilliant. The other thing that I think a leader has, and I'll let you finish this quote, but what if you've had a bad conversation with somebody and it's ended like I did with my dad?

And you said a leader isn't the first in line, a leader is blank. Ah, the first to apologize. You guys all hear that right there? first in line, a leader is blank. Ah, the first to apologize. Hmm. You guys all hear that right there? Let that sink in for a minute. First to apologize. Why do you say that of all the things a leader could be the first to apologize?

Chuck Klosterman wrote a book, but what if we're wrong? And I believe we've gotten leadership wrong in society, not just in America. I think we've gotten leadership wrong in the world. Hopefully those listening hang on to the next few words because in society, we're convinced that leaders are the first to yell. Leaders are the first to be followed. Leaders are the first to make an authoritative decision. But what if leaders are the first to make an authoritative decision. But what if leaders are the first in humility? What if leaders are the first to say sorry? What if leaders are the first to recognize their own wrongdoing? What if you can lead in that?

And I don't say that facetiously, and I also don't say that for the intention of being counterintuitive. I say that genuinely like, what if we're wrong about leadership? What if we've gotten it all wrong? What if this whole time I thought leading was who's the loudest, but leading is who can listen the best? Like, what if we're wrong? And I believe that leadership is who can be the first to apologize. I was in a conversation earlier today, Ed, and I was talking and my friend was talking, and then I was talking and my friend was talking.

I was like, you know what? Neither of us are hearing the other. So I'm just going to be quiet and listen. Go ahead. Because I was like, we've gone back and forth seven minutes now, and I'm talking about A and you're talking about B, and then I'm talking about A and you're talking about B. So I said, you know what, let me just talk about B. We can get to A later. I want to talk about A, but we'll just talk about B for right now. And I believe that leaders have to be the person to acknowledge, hey, let me be sacrificial for a moment.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp, everybody. and I'm so grateful that we are because you know, I really believe in therapy and so many people ask me what have all the people on your show have in common because I've had athletes entertainers, you know, scientists, political figures, business leaders, self-improvement folks and what do they all have in common? The vast majority of them have been to therapy and it's helped them. And so therapy can help you in a lot of different ways. It could be that you just really need to work through a challenge or a problem you've got right now. Maybe you just need somebody to talk to but maybe you're going through a really difficult dark time and you need some professional help to work your way through it and that's why I love therapy but especially better help because you can do it online and if you don't vibe with your therapist They'll switch you out and get you somebody that you click with instantly. You can make a big difference in your life So whether you're going through just kind of a difficult time and want to talk out loud about it

Therapy is the way to go and I love BetterHelp so never skip therapy day with BetterHelp visit BetterHelp.com Slash ed show today to get 10% off your first month. That's better help help.com Slash ed show So last night to get 10% off your first month. That's better help, h-e-l-p.com slash edshow. So last night, talking with your brother, and I said, give me something to ask him

that you would wanna know about your own brother, because the two of you were very, very close. And he goes, I need to think about it seriously. And so then he messaged me back. I was surprised by his question. Your own brother wants to know this answer. So, and I'm curious too when I watch you, like you're very busy. You were literally just on television. I don't know, an hour and a half, two hours ago, he asked me to ask you, and this is very basic,

but I think it gives insight into an elite performer. He said, ask him actually what motivates him. What is it that actually motivates him? I was surprised your own brother was curious about that answer. And it made me like super curious about someone who achieves at a level like you are, what is it that motivates you? I think I want to exhaust my life. That's what motivates me, man. I want to exhaust my life. That's what motivates me, man.

I want to exhaust my life. I'm not going to get emotional here. If I do, I'm going to close the camera because I'm not going to get emotional in public. But I don't want to leave anything unfulfilled you know and And so like, I would be a terrible steward to not maximize it. I tell people all the time, I'm like, I'm good, but I'm not that good. And like, favor's not fair, but like, dude, I picked up a football, I made it to the NFL. I picked up a microphone, I won two Emmys. I picked up a pen, I was it to the NFL. I picked up a microphone, I won two Emmys.

I picked up a pen, I was the number one New York Times bestseller. I'm like, dude, I'm like, God, I got, I'm not that good. God, he's just, he's made me, he's made me so gifted. I have an obligation to myself to be the best. Because he gave it to me. So I have how could how could I come back empty-handed, you know, I love that. You're emotional brother. That's a real answer. That's the actual answer you dug deep right there and pulled the real one out. That was the real answer

Do you ever feel like? I'm just curious you get to this level Because all you just said you are talented Do you struggle from either one of these two things or both or neither? When I started to climb pretty high and by the way same thing i'm like i'm not this good This is clearly god sometimes when I speak i'm like, that's the Holy Spirit because I don't even know where that came from and Sometimes like some of the successes I've had are almost some of the great confirmations of my faith because I know I'm not that good But as I climbed higher I struggled with with two things at different times, in different doses,

that suppressed my expansion until I started to overcome them. The first one was a little bit of imposter syndrome, where, wow, they're going to figure out I don't know everything they think I know. Maybe I'm not this good. I did not have that in sports when I played baseball. I did have it in life and in business when people started to look at me for counsel and advice. So I had a little bit of that. And then the other one was comparison.

As I climbed higher, I'm like, wow, I'm in a whole different league here. And I start to watch what some of my peers were doing. And it would rip my joy, rip my energy like, wow, they did. The higher I climbed. Ironically, I compared more than when I did when I wasn't climbing high. Either one of those affect you. And if it didn't, which ways, you know, it's fascinating, man. It's like, the real thing that I would say affects me is,

is, is definitely not comparison. It's trying to like be better than my former self. I think that's- Back to the other answer. Yeah. Yeah, that's what the heck affects me is like, like you, but you were so good then. Why didn't, why weren't you as good this time?

After my first episode of Uncomfortable Conversations, remember I said McConaughey called me, but I didn't want to do a second episode I didn't want to do a second episode and you might be thinking that's crazy your first episode got 25 million views I didn't want to do a second episode because I was like you can't beat the first one and I can how can you beat the first one and and now if you do a second one it doesn't beat the first one a little why'd you do the second one, it doesn't be the first one. Why'd you do the second one? Um, that's, that's what affects me. What affects me is like, is, is competing again. I don't compete really against other people.

I compete against me. You know what I mean? Like, I don't, I don't really compete against other people. I'm just, I'm more so like, be better than yourself. Be better than yourself. That's, that's probably what's legs me. I will go say, dude, the higher you climb, the more you're like, wait, I gotta keep, I gotta climb higher. It's weird. It's like this. It is.

A dichotomy of success. The more successful you are, the less successful you feel. It's a very strange paradox. It's so true. Do you think the reason you're so emotional about some of the questions we're having is a how grateful you are for the blessings that are in your life or be a fear that you're going to miss? I mean, you bring up my brother, I get emotional. I just I love my brother like it just, you know, I mean, He loves you. Man, I do think, I was talking to Kamaru Usman. Kamaru Usman was like a three time UFC champion, one of the baddest men in the world. Oh, one of the baddest men in the world.

I asked him a question, maybe my favorite question I ever asked him. And I asked him, to some degree, what you asked me at, I asked him, I said, before you enter into into a ring before you enter into the octagon and you realize like you could die in vain I said what motivates you and he said my fear of Failure is stronger than my thrill of victory and People are like what the hell you're afraid. I'm, dude, he's like my fear of failure. And I

think Ed is like, I think it's what if I don't do it? What if I don't do all I was gifted to do? Like, that scares me. You know, like that scares me. And then I also think, whenever I think about how blessed I am, there is something very humbling and almost brings me to tears of like, I shouldn't be in this situation. Now I work hard to steward it, but like I didn't have to be here. You know what I mean? Like it's only by the grace of God.

And I do believe I countered that with obedience and I supplemented that with obedience, but I don't have to be here. And so when I think about that, it makes me emotional because it's just like as this just I'm just I'm just so grateful. This is so good. Emmanuel, if you wanted someone to change, most people would say you got to tell them what to do. If you wanted someone to change, most people would say, you got to tell them what to do. Right. And you go, not so fast.

If you want to get somebody to change, what do you do? Do you tell them what to do or is there another, another tact you should take? You want someone to change, remind them who they are. Remind them who they are. Like, and what I mean by that to those listening and watching, if I remind Ed that he's a servant, if I remind Ed that he's kind, if I remind Ed that he's humble, that's better than saying,

hey, Ed, can you think about yourself less, dude? Hey, bro, can you just be nicer? Hey, like, why don't you freaking turn off the lights last instead of making me like, remind somebody who they are. Like remind somebody that they're beautiful. Remind somebody that they are gracious. Remind somebody that they're funny. Remind somebody that they're meek.

Like don't tell them what to do, remind them who they are. And from the inside out, almost like that metamorphosis of a butterfly, like you'll see them change. I'm writing a book right now, Emmanuel, called Let Me Tell You About You. I love that.

It's the title of the book. It's the whole premise of the book. You and I are gonna do some speaking engagements together. I can tell you that right now. What are the four? You tell me this four thing. Like I had something to do. I caught it and then I like wrote it down.

I was telling my son about it and then'm like I'm messing this up but it was something about you're talking about the power of like a hug for someone's life because there's this is important though like there's all these elements of living our best life and helping ourselves and other people and yes, there's the element of of Telling someone who they are and reminding them but there's also something that Happens when we're connected to one another as well in a different way. One, I appreciate you navigating this conversation because obviously you've put time into this.

I think so many people listening don't realize sometimes two people just hop on a podcast and they're just like, oh, we're gonna talk. No, man, like you've really put time into this dialogue and it shows and I hope the listeners and viewers feel honored because you're honoring my time and you're honoring theirs. As it pertains to scientific evidence suggest

that we need four hugs for survival, we need eight hugs for maintenance and we need 12 hugs a day for growth. Four hugs for survival, eight hugs for maintenance, 12 hugs a day for growth. As we all know in different psychology classes, et cetera, there's kind of a different dopamine release. There's a different release when people embrace, when people embrace. And it suggests that like, you know, you need four, eight and 12. So what I now start to do and I've done at times is

make sure you're getting your hugs. So when you then, and fellas don't be too cool, don't be too cool to dap your brother up, come in for a hug. You know what I mean? Like let's, we don't need this fake tough guy in this, not in in 2024 life is hard So four hugs is what you need for survival. You need eight for maintenance and you need 12 for growth

So profound you guys I gotta tell you, you know what I regret most. I wish I would have hugged my kids more I come from a family that wasn't real touchy feely And I carried that into my own home not to the same extent, I hugged them, but I should have brought them into my physical embrace more often. If I could go back as a dad again, he said, what would you change? I'm splitting hairs here a little bit,

but I would hug my babies a lot more. I would just be hugging them. Physical touch, a lot more. What he just said is so good and so profound and so true. And he's made so many brilliant points today that I don't want the ones that could go right by you to go right by you. It's a big deal to hug our friends. It's a big deal to hug our wives or our significant others. It's a really big deal to hug our children and to be hugged. And as a man, like you just said, to allow yourself to be hugged and allow somebody in your proximity It doesn't make you weak what it does is it fills you with spirit. It fills you with dopamine It fills you with energy. So thank you That's why I asked you the question as I wanted to be afforded the opportunity to to agree with you on it

This is a hard question and I know there's not one answer but I'd like to change my life I've watched you change your life. I've heard all these strategies and the keys and the insights and the beautiful language in which you express yourself and I want to change my life but I'm not even really sure where to begin or what to think and I feel somewhat powerless to do that and if they could they ran into you at a Starbucks somewhere and said hey I heard you on Ed Milet's and he didn't ask you this i i want to change my life what would your advice or counsel be to that precious soul who who wants so badly to make a life better for themselves the only one thing came to my mind and my brother says it all the time and i think the coach told

it to him it was not even my words as my's. And he may have said it on your conversation earlier. He says, little things done well make big things happen. Little things done well make big things happen. I believe Ed that so often we're fixated, fixated, fixated upon tomorrow when we don't take care of today. And I love this saying, it takes 10 years to become an overnight success. I love that, dude. I love it. I love it. Because nothing worth doing is done quickly. Nothing.

So I would say if you really want to like change your life, do the little things well. I believe bro, how you do anything is how you do everything. I'm corny, I do wake up every day and I make my bed. It is the first thing I do, you know what I mean? I just, because I'm like, hey, do like, come back to a nice home.

Treat you like, come, like I do the little things well. And my, but I, cause I'm like one day that little thing might be a big thing. So I believe that little things well and my but I because I'm like one day that little thing might be a big thing So I believe that little things done well make big things happen. If you want to change your life do the little things. Well You're remarkable brother. Your family's remarkable. Your brother is today Today was a real blessing for me And I know it was for millions of people who are going to hear or see this. You are a blessing and I really believe that's his intention, what he said earlier, to change

the world and I believe he can help you change your world. So Emmanuel Ocho, today was special and a real blessing for so many of us. So thank you so much for being here. I feel like we could have gone three more hours and maybe we'll do that again but nonetheless I'm grateful for the hour that we spent together. Thank you so much for being here. I feel like we could have gone three more hours and maybe we'll do that again. But nonetheless, I'm grateful for the hour that we spent together. Thank you. Thank you, my brother. Genuinely. It was awesome. Hey, everybody, share this episode.

If I have to ask you to share this one, we're in big trouble. You should have already been hitting that button somewhere to give the gift of this conversation with somebody that you love, whether it makes them uncomfortable or not. Send it to them. All right, everybody. God bless you. Max out your life.