THE ED MYLETT SHOW - How to Laugh, Grow & Live Without Regret Feat. Pete Holmes

Episode Date: April 7, 2026

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/mylett US BASED: Head to https://hipebl.ai/ to get a free estimate & lock in our new standard *discounted* pricing at $399 USD per month per employee helps you contain costs. UK BASED: Go to https://hipebl.ai/ for a free estimate and discounted pricing to simplify global people operations so you can spend more time growing the business and supporting your team. Whatnot will match your first $150 sold in the first month. Visit https://Whatnot.com/sell to start selling Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://quo.com/mylett What If the Secret to Winning Isn’t Hustling Harder… But Becoming More Present in Your Own Life? I’ve had a lot of conversations on this show, but this one with Pete Holmes hit me in a completely different way. I brought Pete on because I think he’s one of the funniest people on the planet. But what I discovered sitting across from him is that behind the comedy is a level of depth, awareness, and truth that most people never tap into. This conversation is about success, yes. But it is also about life, presence, and what really matters when it’s all said and done. We got into what it really takes to get great at something. Pete broke down a concept that applies to every single one of you, whether you are in business, sales, parenting, or leadership. Do not compare your chapter one to someone else’s chapter ten. Early on, he focused on simply being one of the best in the room he was in. That mindset alone will change how you approach growth. It is not about being the best in the world right away. It is about winning where you are, stacking small victories, and building confidence one step at a time. But where this conversation really took a turn was when we started talking about presence and awareness. Pete shared something that stuck with me deeply. He said most of us are living for the next moment instead of the one we are in. That hit me hard because I have lived that way for a long time. Always chasing the next thing, the next win, the next level. And what you will hear in this episode is a reminder that this moment right now is your life. Not the next one. Not the one after that. This one. We also went deep into belief, faith, and purpose. Pete has this incredible perspective on God and awareness that challenges you to think differently. Whether you are religious or not, what he shares will stretch your thinking. He talks about how we are all connected, how we belong to each other, and how much of life is about remembering that truth. It is one of the most powerful and thought-provoking conversations I have had in a long time. And then we brought it back to something practical that every high achiever needs to hear. At some point, you have to audit your dream. You have to ask yourself if what you are chasing is still what you want. Pete made a decision to prioritize his family and his life over constant hustle, and it has made him better at what he does. That takes courage. Real courage. This episode is going to challenge how you think about success, fulfillment, and the life you are building. Key Takeaways: Why comparing your beginning to someone else’s success is killing your growth The power of being fully present and why this moment is your life How to evaluate your progress based on your current environment A new way to think about God, awareness, and human connection Why high achievers must audit their dreams and redefine success over time How balance and intentional living can actually make you better at your craft 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ←  ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FACEBOOK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LINKEDIN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WEBSITE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So hey guys, I'm calling on all my friends here in the audience for a little bit of help. We're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm slash my let. And we want to hear from you so we can make things here even a better experience for you and create content that you want. You know, we all know this. There's ads on our show, right? So we want to improve the experience. But in order to do that, we need to know a little bit more about you. So my friends in the audience, we want to improve that experience.

So please help us. The survey's quick, easy, and it's a free way to support the show. If you'll take two minutes, you'll be helping us out so much by doing this. So go to gum.fm slash my let to fill out our audience survey. That's g-um.fm-fm-slash my let, M-Y-L-L-E-T-T. So hey, guys, I'm calling on all my friends here in the audience for a little bit of help. We're conducting an audience survey at gum.fm-slash-M-lat. And we want to hear from you so we can make things here even a better experience for you

and create content that you want. You know, we all know this. There's ads on our show. right so we want to improve the experience but in order to do that we need to know a little bit more about you so my friends in the audience we want to improve that experience so please help us the survey's quick easy and it's a free way to support the show if you'll take two minutes you'll be helping us out so much by doing this so go to gum.fm slash my let to fill out our audience survey that's g um dot fm slash myelette m yel t this is the edmunds show welcome back to the show everybody so truth be told

i sought this man out to come on um one i think he's one of the funniest human beings in the world but i also just think there's something underlying his work that um he's like a compelling interesting figure to me and i find myself i frankly use the show sort of sometimes as a magnet I wanted to meet him and I wanted to know him. And I was telling him off camera, some of my really good friends that are in his industry in the stand-up comedy world, name him as the guy they think is just hilarious and funny and talented. But there's some depth to him that you don't get in just your average everyday guest. He's a unique man. I can't wait to kind of dig into who he is and what he's all about.

You know, you probably know him. You'll recognize his voice. And if you're on YouTube, you'll see his face. He is Peter Benedict, great metal name, by the way. Yeah, it is. Serious. He's also a Boston boy like me originally. And I think he's one of the funniest humans in the world.

So welcome to the show, Pete Holmes. Thank you very much. What a nice. I'm already glad that we did this. Yeah, let's just cut right now. We can end it. We could. He has his own podcast.

It's called You Make It Weird, right? You made it weird. It's been around forever, you guys. It's like after his TV show. I wanted to ask you, Why are so many stand-ups from Boston? I mean, that's a great question. It's not to be too much of a cliche,

but I think there's something about, I don't want to put it down, but there's something a little repressed about Boston, meaning it's, you know, remember Gary Galman had this great line where if you drank Sprite in Boston, you were, that was considered effeminate. You know what I mean? So there's something kind of like,

I grew up in this pressure cooker of like, toughness and kind of, again, I don't want to put it down. I really love Boston, but like knuckleheads, I'll say knuckleheads, toughness, and intense liberalism and intense geniuses. So like MIT, but also like the diehard Red Sock fan, mac, yo, and all that sort of stuff. And Harvard and roads made for horses and the snow. And like my father and my mother's from Lithuania, but she's from South Boston.

And my father's from like Somerville. So they were from like real, I say with respect, like real Boston. Like they knew all these connected people and all this dangerous stuff. And I grew up in Lexington. So there's something about the first generation that gets to safely express themselves in a place that doesn't really celebrate expressing yourself. you know what I mean? I do know exactly. I'm like the first dog that escaped the porch, you know, and I ran real fast. And I sometimes catch my dad. I think having warm, like, pride that like he provided a life for me that I was like safe

to tell people about my insecurities or my fears or whatever it was. And he never really got to have that. And I think he think, I hope quiet, he's a, he's a Boston dad, so I can't know for sure. But I think he thinks it's pretty cool that I've gone the other way and that I had a cozy enough of a, or safe enough of a life to be like, you know, he must look at my standup, like, what are you doing? You know, like, why are you admitting that, you know, or whatever it might be? No, man, I totally relate to that.

That sounds exactly like my dad, like 100%. So I want to ask you, like I do watch you on stage and I speak for a living, but what I want to make today is like lessons of success. We're going to talk a little bit about God, you guys. and but lessons of winning. I'm just curious. Some of the people in standup I've had on, I've asked, were you funny originally

and were you good originally? And they're like, no, it took me forever. I bombed. In your case, were you good, like right out of the gate on stage and stand up? And it's okay if you were. Some people try to make it like, oh, I'm terrible.

Yeah. Great, were you? You know, the classic is that Chappelle was good the first time he went up. What, I, you know, it's interesting. I really like, I hope you don't mind the term self-help. I think motivation is very interesting and I read a lot of that stuff and grew up and change my life. So I hope I'm not, it doesn't sound pandering if I speak in these terms, but it's true.

I would gauge my success based on my environment. So I wasn't measuring myself against Jerry Seinfeld or, you know, the greats, like the people that were huge. I just wanted to be one of the better people at the open mic. And I didn't do that consciously. I just, I knew it would overwhelm me if I was like, am I great? You know, I'm talking about when I really first started. I just was like, was I in the top five of this awful open mic? So that, I will say, pretty much from the beginning, even though I wasn't very good, I was pretty

conscientious. I would write. I would have like a theme. I remember at an open mic at the Comedy Connection in Faniel Hall. The host went up, and I didn't do very well. It was probably the second or third time I went up. But my parents were there, and they remember this, too. He got up on stage, this real pro, you know, he'd been doing it 20 years.

And he goes, that's how you do it. He goes, beginning, middle, and end. He was talking about something. Like, I was a student of it. I studied like, oh, a lot of these things end with, I didn't know it was called a callback, but you call something back, something you establish at the beginning. It's a good way to cue to the audience that you're done. And you go, and I look at him and it's, it's the clown from before or whatever it is.

Yeah, yeah. So I did that. I did it kind of like conscientiously. and I feel like even in those early shows, I was like at my level, at the amateur level, I was in the top three consistently. And that's what I tell people when I start. I go, don't measure yourself against Bill Burr.

Go to an open mic. You'll laugh. You'll be like, look, it just is awful at the beginning. Yeah. Throwing shade on and we're just all awful. So go and just see if you can be one of the three best awful people. And that's a good, I do feel like I was, you know, in that top three at most open mics.

It's probably good advice for anything. Yeah, right? Like whatever your stage is, don't compare your chapter one to chapter nine of someone else, same time. You ought to show. You think you should show some proclivity to being decent at something in the beginning, like maybe that's a sign, like, hey, this might be your lane. You know what I mean?

Well, the tricky thing with stand up, not so much when I was. was starting, but when people tell me they want to be stand-ups now, I'm like, are you sure? Because a lot of times I think you're saying, I want to be rich and I want to be famous, because stand-up is culturally relevant right now. Believe it or not, when I started in 2000, 2001, it wasn't as relevant. It was still kind of like a fringe activity, not entirely, but it wasn't, they didn't have as many stand-ups like hosting SNL. It wasn't, we weren't selling out Madison Square Garden. I just mean my people, we weren't selling out Madison Square Garden. So like, you really got to get

clarity on is it what you want or are you just a guy who lives in Cooperstown, New York and you think you want to be a baseball player? You know what I mean? Like just because it's what's around. But if you go and you're good, that's a real and how it feels to do good. That's really the big clue is I would do good and I would feel I've never done cocaine, but it's got to be what it is. I would feel elated like this vibrating, buzzing euphoria and excessive. excitement, like, and I would get up excited to keep doing it, you know. That's not to say there wasn't a lot of fear. There was a lot of fear. There's a lot of dry heaving. There was a lot of anxiety. There were a lot of ruined birthdays and holidays because I had a show booked two weeks in

the future and I just couldn't relax because I wasn't good. Yeah. Hard to know you're going to get your ass kicked in two weeks. It's really good point, though, because I was thinking like there are things I've been pretty good at. There's a, there's a million things I'm not good at, But there's been some things I'm pretty good at that it didn't juice me when I was good at it. Yeah, yeah. I know that. But like for me, like on stage speaking like big arenas or big crowds or whatever, or just like this, like human connections stuff sort of like really impacts me.

One of the things that held me back, I'm just curious because I've watched you. I think one of the reasons you're kind of compelling to me is like and just haven't met you even off camera for a few minutes. I can tell I think I'm right. Like you're a you're a nice guy. And what I mean by that is like, Some of my friends that do what you do are like, I don't give a crap what anybody thinks. There's a hard edge to them almost. I'm wondering, do you care a lot of what people think about you?

And did that hurt you in any way or help you like in progress on stage? Like in the beginning, were you evaluating too much? How am I doing? Do they like me? And does that still affect you to this day? Less. But I actually think at the beginning, that's a good wound to have. It is a wound wanting people to like you.

It's also a type of it can be narcissistic to want everyone to like you. It's just another way of controlling people. But if that was a survival technique as it was for me, that doesn't mean it's all bad or anything. I just learned I can be safe if I make everybody happy. And if I make everybody kind of think I'm the golden boy, that is really good when you're starting. I'll speak for myself.

That was really good for me. Because when I tell people when they're doing standup, I just say, you know, when would you laugh? Just put yourself in the audience and when would you laugh? that's a hard question because sometimes you just go, oh, no, you realize you wouldn't like you either. But like you're in the business of trying to kind of like inception, get inside somebody and change their chemistry. It's a good thing to be really compelled with what people think about you. And a lot of times when I watch standups, I'm just like, you got to make these choices.

Am I going to go with what you think I am? Am I going to go against what you think I am? but either one of those choices, you know, the prerequisite is to know how people receive you. And then you can make these choices. But if you don't know who you are and if you don't know how they probably feel about you, you're kind of lost. You're in a sandstorm. So I think that's a good compulsion to have is to want maybe the same could be true if you want people to not like you.

There are those provocateurs that like that sort of stuff. But both people, it's just both ends of the same spectrum. I'm interested in how people feel. I care about how they feel. And I'd like to be in charge of how they feel. That's, oh, there you go. Yeah, that's different. And I, I'm noticing this.

Now, this is going to sound everybody like I'm looking way too close, but most of my, forget stand up for a second, but just my friends, but standups in particular, I'll text them during their special and go, oh, you used silence really well right there or whatever. I'm looking at every little subtlety. And I've been thinking about you, like, because how is what you're good at doing, translate to someone listening to this today, right? And so I watch your comedy. You're hilarious, you're deep, but I'm going to tell you there's a little thing you do. I don't know if you know you're

doing it or not. You sometimes laugh at your own jokes before you've said the punchline. Yeah. And you smile a lot on stage. Not everybody does that. I think the best salespeople that I was going to make the same point. Were you? Yeah. It's a good idea. Do you do it on purpose? Is it who you are? because like the people I trust the most that are trying to sell me something, I see them warm and smiling. And I'm almost, I'm almost smiling back and nodding at them before they've even asked me for whatever the order is.

Yeah. Yeah. Pretty your comedy or is it just like who you are on stage? No, no. Well, I think it is who I am, but that doesn't mean it's authentic. Like if people said, I'll give you $10 million, don't laugh during your set. Of course, I could not laugh. You know what I mean?

And of course, there are shows that I'm doing that I don't feel like laughing. Often a special taping is one of those times. Like you're not really feeling super chill. But you're trying to mimic. The whole thing is trying to lean towards an aspect of you that is naturally occurring, but might not be the majority shareholder of your personality at that moment. But I'm trying to control how they feel. I'm trying to control how I feel.

And it's a benevolent manipulation. Usually manipulation sounds bad, right? But if I want you to come to my show, and a lot of statements I know feel this way, I want you to go on vacation. I want all your problems to be way, way, way far away. I want you to finally put all that down and feel like you're six years old again

and you're getting tickled. I want you to be joyful and light. I'm going to use every tool I have. Are some of them less than 100%? percent authentic. You're goddamn right. I'm I it's the hardest thing in the world in my opinion. It make people laugh for an hour, an hour and 15 minutes. It's really hard. It's energetically draining. It's mentally demanding. So Chappelle, I learned that I wouldn't say I ripped it from Chappelle, but you know, steal from the best. He does that thing where he hits the mic on my. Yes.

Yeah. I move the mic away from my face. That's a way of queuing to them. Because my wife told me, she's like, people want to laugh, but sometimes they're worried they're going to miss something. So you move the mic away to say, I'm not talking right now. And then the laughing or the smiling is another way to indicate that. Like, I'm showing you the sheet music, my part, my part, your part, your part. You're not just laughing when the chemical happens. You're laughing when the chemical happens. And you feel like it's appropriate in the show to laugh.

You're looking for your cue, and that's why Chappelle cues people. That's why I'm queuing people. And it's funny, I remember reading something about salesmen that they would nod their heads. Someone would open the door and that'd already be subtly nodding their head. So when they say, like, do you have a moment to talk to us today, the person would be more inclined to say yes. Now, that's manipulation. Comedy, entertainment, storytelling, music, sales. teaching. It's all manipulation. I'm manipulating you. You're manipulating me. I don't mean it in a

bad way. We're queuing each other. That's what a good conversation like this is. The tone of my voice is telling you, and now I'm winding down. That's a manipulation, and now I'm done. See, now it's your turn. Aren't I queuing you well, Ed? And that's what you're doing. And that's what you're doing. Yes, Peter Benedict, very well done. So spring can be announced. So spring can be Reset Point and if you've been putting off cleaning up the messier parts of your business Now's the time and here's the bottom line probably the messiest part you've got where the biggest leaks are is in your communication system onboarding calls accountability for your sales teams all of these different things That's why today's episode is brought to you by Quo. It's spelled QUO the smarter way to run your business communications

Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2 with over 3,000 reviews Built for how modern teams communicate 90,000 businesses use them from solopreneurs all the way to growing teams. You can stay connected with one central number as well. Quo works wherever you are right from an app or on your phone or your computer. It lets you keep your existing number and then add new numbers for teammates in just minutes. So make this season where no opportunity and no customer slips away. Try Quo for free plus 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com slash my let. That's QUO.com slash my let. Quo. No miss calls. No miss customers. So if you guys see me online. Here's the bottom line. Shopify is probably involved. Like when I first started

this podcast, for example, I felt like I had to figure everything out on my own. Script, setup, filming, scheduling, it was so overwhelming. And it seemed like every day I had to make a new decision. And so finally, then I found Shopify and my life change. Most all my businesses involve Shopify online. So whether you're starting off new or you got a little to do list that keeps growing every day for new tasks, I can tell you right now you don't have to have this much stress in your life. Shopify can help you. You just got to find the right tool. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses, including mine, around the world, and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S., from household names like the Ed Milet Show to brands just getting

started, like when this show got started. So get started with your own design studio. So start your business today with the industry's best business partner, Shopify, and start hearing. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash mylet. Go to Shopify.com slash mylet. that's shopify.com slash my let there's another thing you do that I think transcends career or like the lane you're in and most people don't know they don't even they're not even

conscious of this when they're watching a special or they're just going to a club you're up there when you by the time you get to your special you have been telling most of those jokes for a year yeah over and over you're working out the bit the sequence the line the the the the tonality the pacing, all of it. But what you have to do is tell it like you've never told it before, like it's the first time. And I don't think most people that are watching standup appreciate that skill set. And here's why I ask it. I think like as a dad or like as a salesperson or a leader in a company, it's the 19th time you've covered your core values or your mission or your pitch. And what happens to most people is they fatigue on saying it. And it sounds like you've said it before,

rather than being the only time you've ever said that line, the only time you've asked for that close, the only time you've sold the vision of the company to somebody. Yeah. You do that. That is right, right? You've had that bit a year. You've been sitting on that bit for a while.

Yeah. No, that's a great insight, really. I'm thrilled with that question because it's underreported. And I think every comedian is different. When I was starting, everybody was like, you've got to perform every night. And I think at the beginning, I did after perform every night. It was about reps.

It was just about muscle memory. It was just about doing it. And then at a certain point, I don't even know what it was. It might have been 15 years and 10 years in, I don't know, around there. I started going like, I'm a fatigue guy. Like if I tell the joke too many times, it'll die. It like it literally will stop working because it turns out, talk about how you're coming off. The joke is how you feel about it.

And you lost the feeling. So I'm getting mad about trumpet. or whatever, or electric eels. Like, I have all these silly jokes where the joke is that I'm using the tonality of Bill Burr, who might be ranting against politics or something. I'm using that to talk about that there's a berry called boisenberries. Like, that's the joke. If I do boisenberries too many times, it'll dry up.

I say it on stage. I'm talking to myself on stage all the time. I go, I don't want this to feel like a job. So when I start, I usually do grab ass riffing, doing a bit. I wasn't planning on doing all in the first 15, 20 minutes. And if it doesn't work in quotes, meaning it doesn't get like a smashing laugh, I'll straight up tell them, guys, this is an excuse to hang out. Like you're waiting for the hot joke.

You're waiting for the big line. It's this. I go, this is your life. That sounds like you're lame, doesn't it? Because this is your life. Yes. Be here. Like join me now. Like you're in this crowd. You'll never be in this crowd again. Look at the person next to you and go goodbye forever. Like this is it. And like it's establishing again a benevolent authority. I'm saying I'm not here to ask you if these jokes are funny. I'm going to assume the position of someone who's going to be the authority on what's funny for your sake. It's like I'm going to land the plane. I know Bill Cosby's a troubling person. He had that line where he said, said the pilot can't get on the PA and say, I'm going to try to land the plane.

You say I'm going to land the plane. Or you actually say even better, we're going to be touching down at 1115, like that's how sure I am. And that's what I'm doing. So even if a joke doesn't work, you demonstrate your calm, right? I'll give you an example.

I was just in San Francisco and I was trying to say the word bike, but there's a racial slur that sounds like bike. And I actually said that word. And the whole play is, straight, I'm not an alpha in most of my life, straight alpha dog. I don't give a shit. No one here thinks I said that. I didn't even get worked up.

I was just like, oh, do I say it? And like, I just kind of moved through it because they're taking your cue. Now, this was San Francisco. It's a very with it place. We don't want, I don't want words like that either. Of course. I'm just saying, they're looking to you. Am I sweating?

Am I nervous? Am I apologizing? I'm going, shut the fuck up. I made it, you know, and they go, oh, my wife was in the crowd. She's like, everyone's like, thank God, this guy's landing the plane. Now, let me answer your question better because, sorry, a lot of talking. There's, it's a really good area, right? So how do you not, the whole job is to go out, I have a mantra, go, they haven't heard it before. I have two mantras. One is, it's not about the words. It's about the connection. It's about the space between the words.

and they haven't heard it before. That usually means slow down and trust yourself. You thought this was funny. Give them a chance. They haven't heard it before. But the key is you want to be, I believe this is Louis CK said this, like the right side of the brain dictates,

the left side of the brain communicates. If I catch myself doing the album, that means or rating the bit. I'll stop. I'll stop it and fuck it up on purpose or change it or bring someone into it or say like, I'm sorry, this sucks. Like you want to nudge yourself into the part

that's communicating the joke. So another way to do that that's less disruptive than stopping or less jarring, say it in a way you haven't said it before. Say it in a crazy way. And now you have to defend this weird, you said, dogs are, whatever it is. It doesn't have to be a hot take.

And then the other key, I learned this from my friend Isaac Whitty when I was opening for him. He was like, go out of order. So there's nothing better to keep you in the communication side of your brain. There's nothing better to keep you vital and fresh than to go, I always open with this. Guess what? We're not even going to do it tonight.

Let's open with the middle. Let's close with the beginning. Let's drop that. Let's open mic it here. Because sometimes what they need is the energy of you trying something that's not quite done. Maybe they don't want home run derby. Maybe they want to see you. Gary Shandling have this great line.

They go, no one cares what Elvis plays. They want to see Elvis. So just be Elvis. Don't be like, oh, and then I got to do fools rush in, and then I got to do Blue Christmas. Like, get the fuck out of here. Be Elvis, right? That's how you stop from.

You guys, I hope you're all listening to this the way that I do. Like, I'm thinking about stand-up, but I'm thinking about me as a dad for the nine million of time telling my kids to be smart, changing up the sequence, not like it's such as, be smart, you know, Like I you know yeah as a leader or a salesperson that it doesn't sound like you've done it a bunch of times It's so interesting you just said this I gave a talk yesterday and it was a much smaller venue than I'm used to you know and it was like gonna be awkward

It almost like took me back to like my beginning of speaking it was at like a okay hotel with like a handheld mic and like you know Yeah, wasn't big arena or whatever and uh I was worried I was gonna mail it in like a lot of you mail in your Monday morning sales meeting with your team or your board meeting or whatever. I thought, I'm a mail. And so I did exactly what you said. There's certain things I'm going to get to, but I took some risks. I know I got risk that's going to work anyway. Get your heart going. It's scary. Do it scary. Change the sequence up. And I kind of like made fun of myself with it. I had fun with it. And the other thing you said that I just want to make sure I highlight everybody is assume the position of the authority. Yeah. For them. For them.

Them. Right. It's a kindness. It's a kindness. Yeah. It's that was bro. It puts everybody at ease. But you know, it's funny. So I have a seven year old. If you catch me looking, I'm just making sure she's not coming in. Sometimes I'll be reading to her or something and I'm like, I catch myself doing the same thing. This isn't a stand-up thing. What I'll, I go like, I'll be reading. We're reading the babysitage club. There's a graphic novel. It's quite good. That's why I mention it in case people are looking for something for a seven-year-old. But sometimes I get over one, like these chapters are long sometimes. And the reading timer goes off, but it's like when I'm one page into the next chapter, so we have to finish it. And I'll catch myself just being like, I just want to be done. And it's just that moment of consciousness, just that moment of awareness like you had in the small hotel where you go like, wait, I'm stuck. I'm trying to be done snuggling with my daughter reading her a book. She's going to be 16 and won't want, maybe won't want to hang out with me.

Like it's like snap out of it. Become aware. And I'll say to myself, sometimes my eyes, it's literally just my eyes are tired. And I just go, just this page, just this frame, just this. And I'll look at my girl. She must think I'm, I don't know. She's used to it. So she's probably not thinking I'm crazy.

But I'll look at her and I'll whisper and I'll be like, or something like that. Just something to slap me out of it. I'm dragging ass through the babysitters club. And it's not because, oh, I should. It's like, no, this is my life too. This isn't, this isn't the path. You ever do that? Like all suffering is going, when I'm done with this, I can watch task with my wife.

Well, you're doing this right now, dipshit, so do it. You're in this shitty hotel right now. So do it. And by the way, couldn't relate harder. My career is littered with gigs where you're just like, I was just a radio city. You know what I mean? Now I'm in the Hyatt or whatever it is. Yes.

And there's a Zachart Tolle quote where he says, how you feel right now is how you feel about your life. This is your life. It's not looking back or looking forward. It's just this. And that is really, it can make me go like, okay, so let's enjoy this. Let's enjoy this. Just this page of the babysitters. I am so with you, bro.

I think a lot of people that achieve, like, I've been addicted to the next moment all of my life, not the one I'm in. I'm going to do the next one. Let me get through this one. And then I'm going to get to that one. And it's something I really, a little thing I've been doing lately. I just said this like an hour ago to somebody. I was like, I've become more of like a witness to myself. And I've become more like a witness to the moment.

And it kind of snaps me into awareness. Like I want to witness this moment. And for some reason with me, that term, that way of thinking like causes me to be present. By the way, I also was thinking the other day about like, I'd a good friend come down and spent the last couple days with me. We're playing some golf. And I'm like, all my friends fit a certain profile. They're very different than me.

I'm actually really introverted. Are you really? Really? It's interesting. A lot of people on stage are. And I'm like super introvert. So I have a lot of like very charismatic, very extroverted, very life of the party friends, which makes all the lifting very easy on me, right?

I can kind of be. They all like, they're very similar. But the other thing that they all do is they're, I like them because they're fully present with me. presence about them. All of my really close friends do that I lacked when I was young with people. That like it's the thing I cherish the most in other people. All right. I've been dying to ask you this.

So for your specific faith beliefs, it's no one's business, although I know that you have it. I read about you that like you thought when you were young you might be a youth pastor. blows my way, if that's accurate. But you have this thing you do, bro. I know you know what I'm going to ask you. But it like, I've watched it probably 50 times. It probably sent it, no exaggeration, no exaggeration to probably 300 people over the last year. Wow.

And it's this notion of, you know what I'm going to ask you. So what do we come from, right? God or nothing. We come from God or nothing. And like, whatever your faith belief is specifically, you guys all know that I'm a Christian, but like set that aside just for a second, like just belief in something greater than oneself, right? Like, would you explain that concept, like take them through this God or nothing thing? Because it's like unreal. Yeah, well, it's actually the spirit with which I wrote that

joke was to say we're all in the same boat. I was like, we all, we think it's like one side atheists and one side theists, right? I have issues with both sides. Way more often I'll meet an atheist. I don't want to say more often. I'm just saying very often I'll meet an atheist. and I'll find a way into talking about spirituality that we vibe with. A lot of times the people that I'll bump up against are people that are really much more rigid in their beliefs. That's going to be a religious person. So I am not on one of these sides. I'm just saying we're on the same side.

It's all the same choice. You either think God created the universe or you think nothing created the universe. But what are we really talking about? In both cases, it's something you can't see, touch, taste, photograph, and science can't prove, right? And the part, I'm going a little out of order. I haven't done this joke in a while. The part that people make fun of, the nothing people make fun of the God people. And they say, God doesn't exist.

And I'm like, sure, but you know what definitely doesn't exist is nothing. Like that's the defining characteristic of nothing. Like, can we please just look at this idea that nothing, nothing, which we can't even find in the universe, erupted into everything. So something that we can't find, find existed and spontaneously erupted into everything. That's a magical nothing. That's incredible. And the real thing that made me feel like I was on to something. I go, ask the nothing people

what happens when you die. They'll tell you nothing. You go into nothing. And I go, you mean you merge back with your creator? I go, that's heaven. Which is what I say. So, but what you see what I'm trying to do there is I go, Same side. Same side. Something unknown is doing something we know not what, right? We don't know what it is. And my God is no thing. It's not a thing. It's not an object. The God, and I like the word God because it's a good place. I say God is the name of the blanket. We put over the mystery to give it a shape. That's what Barry Taylor from ACDC said. And I joke, why didn't I learn that in church? Why am I learning this from Barry Taylor, the road manager for ACDC? who I've met actually, turns out he's a mystic. He's a groovy guy. But so God is the, I like the word God. That works for me.

It's easier than saying a metaphor for a mystery. It has more juice. There's something about reclaiming it too that has a lot of power for me. But where was I? Do you spend a lot of time? Well, you were- I like that I blanked. I hope everyone replays that last thing.

It's the best bit for me in the last 20 years of comedy. Oh, thank you. It is the best bit. And it actually makes me actually really emotional. But I'm curious. I love it too. So guys, you probably all seen the buzz or heard about it. So let me give you the inside scoop.

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costs go to high pebble.a i to get a free estimate that's high p ebl dot a i for a free estimate yeah how much time do you spend now we're being serious with one of the funniest people in the world but like how do you do you spend a lot of time on that like i do like what i what do i really believe like uh what i mean what i say when i really believe like the depth of what i believe um on it, strengthening it, questioning it. I like questioning what I believe. Like I, it's like I'm sort of weird and maybe I'm even morbid. Like I think a lot about death. Like it makes me feel more alive when I do it and that this thing I'm doing right now matters in this moment. You seem to me like you're real funny, but you seem like a pretty pretty serious dude.

Do you think about things? Do you know what you believe or are you like still working on what you believe. What's on it's a little bit unfortunate is that I, I feel like more and more I do feel like I can articulate what I believe. And what's unfortunate about that is I do try to maintain some. Of course, I don't know. And we still have experiences and intuition that we're like, it's something I don't know. I don't think my mind can perfectly articulate it. It's like, if I speak of it, I'm a fool. And if I'm silent, I'm a coward. Yeah. Just like, I'm going to speak about it. It's not going to be right. In fact, one of the times I think I'm farthest from it, from the truth, is sometimes when

I'm talking about it. That's something that I've noticed. I know exactly. You know what I mean? So my hope, I'd say my practice, something that I'm trying to work on is people ask me about this. And I'm like, is it possible to like just keep one foot in the pool while I talk about it? It's really tricky because I go into my head and I start trying to like lay out like a,

a metaphysical argument. But what I like to say in times like this or what I'm compelled to say now, I think God is awareness. I think there's only one awareness. And I think that's what Jesus was pointing us to. And I think one of the points of life is to remember that we belong to each other and to help each other, as my homie Ramdaa said, walk each other home. Just because not to be right conceptually, but to be rid of fear and to not and to rid of ourselves of hate and othering. I think that's why these things matter. That's awesome. Do you ever pray like before you go on stage if you're scared or nervous? I say it's just us cats. I like to say that because in my belief this is sort of like God's dream. That's one way I would I would quickly explain this.

Like we're all in the mind of God. So when I catch myself being nervous, it's because I'm believing that these things, these people in the audience are other than myself. But if I can own the idea that we're all the same thing, that there's nobody in the other boat, that it's just as cats, that helps me calm down. So that's not a prayer per se, but it's me trying to remember. I say this all the time, Ed, but maybe you'd like it. In the prodigal son, right, all he does is remember that he's the man's father. And there's nothing he could do to be less the man's son.

or more the man's son. So he's already the man's son. And I feel that way about all of us. We already belong to this one thing. So if I can go out and recognize, it's more like recognize that it's just us. It's just play. It's just a dance. It's just an excuse to hang out. It's just an excuse to love. It's just an excuse to remember because when you laugh, you're not really there. We're all kind to empty so we can really have a good chance at merging together. That makes me less nervous. Wow. Man, that's so good. I mean, you must experience that talking to thousands of people. Sometimes you've got that feeling like, oh, wow, we're all in the pocket together. Yeah, well, I know this. The part that I definitely relate to is the part of if, and there are

times, we're like it, um, separate from them. And I've made it about me like they think of me or how well I'm doing or do they think I'm incredible? or am I killing this right now? Yeah. Typically I suck. But when I am connected with them, I feel like they feel that we're connected when I, when I give that sense and when I don't, I suck. And so-

Well, that's wholeness, right? So holy is a derivative of wholeness. So the idea of wanting to be like a shock being a holy thing is because you came in as Ed, you sat in an audience, you merged with a performer, it became a show. Like we all became a show. Like that is dropping yourself off at the door. That's part of the fun of it.

You know, you're just saying that I was thinking, that's what a great leader does in a house in their home. That's what a great leader does in a business. I wish the leaders of either of the two parties did that politically. Like trying to make it us instead of them and me. And by the way, I think both parties do. that but I just I also like I like what you said earlier when you're on stage and you go this isn't working I would love one of our leaders at one point to go hey I screwed up I know

I'm sorry and we don't have an allowance for that you know it's not culturally we don't I have so my friend who I used to go down you said you were in Laguna I'd go and hang out with Rob Bell and he was a pastor and he's he's a great man I know who he is yeah Yeah, and I used to talk to him. I was just like, I just don't know why a pastor can't get up and be like, I woke up and had a lot of doubt today. Yeah. Or I just, I just don't believe it today. I know. I'm depressed. Like they become like, not everywhere, but a lot of times pastors and politicians become like corporate logos or something. It's like your Mickey Mouse or your Coca-Cola. You have to be fizzy. You have to be bubbly. You have to be sweet. Like that's the job. Yeah. And when I see a politician, like remember when Howard Dean was like yeah and we were like fuck this guy like that sucks we're so

binary we're like you're either cool or you're not so they become the most like studied it's almost sociopathic like they have to be like everything they do Hillary Clinton has hot sauce in her bag is anyone buying this but that's just their job I actually feel bad like it sucks that to get votes You have to pretend you had Chulula in your bag. You look like saltines. You don't have chalula in your bag. But that's what every politician, it seems, and every pastor has to play the part of a pastor.

And it's like a 24-hour role. And that sucks. That's why I think it's really fun to be a comedian, and I feel free to say anything. And I think it makes it more interesting that I choose to be like, hey, let's talk about this. I don't have to.

I do totally, too. I think it's gutsy. And it's interesting, like I'll even catch flag from people from today where I said, sometimes I question what I believe. To me, like even those you that are deeply religious, like, well, if you have a relationship with someone or something, these relationships go through this. That's how they grow. If you're questioning it, if there's never some strife, if there's never any doubt in

your relationship, it doesn't grow any stronger. So anyway, I want to get completely deep, but I think it's actually a healthy thing to have that. The separate thing that I wanted to ask you earlier, because you said it earlier, and I'm really, I literally like dig in on this. He said when I was starting out was I like in the top three at the open mic night. And then when I was in the clubs, size clubs, am I in the top three there or whatever? How much of that is good?

And then when is it bad? Like do you, you see Bill Burr blowing up or Sebastian blowing up? And even in life and business, it's like people are really good friends with people. And then it feels like until you're successful. threatens them or people have this belief that like if if joe's doing really well in business he's taking part of the pie that i could have had i'm going to do less so they almost root against so how much of that like in your world like are you there's got to be a little bit of you that's competitive like hey i want to be regarded as great and i'd love to fill up an arena at the same time

so are you what do you do you find yourself a little bit too competitive when should that stop You get the question. Yeah, it's interesting. This has been coming up this week in other conversations as well, even admitting to you that when I was an open micer, that I wanted to be, let's cut the crap. I wanted to be the best one.

I didn't want to be in the top three. I wanted to be the best one. And part of my strategy as a nice person, not meaning like I thought about it, but like I wouldn't say something like that. But even that is to be like, I'm also gonna be, nicest person here. I'm going to win that as well. So there's all sorts of competition going on.

What came to mind is Neil Brennan is a dear friend of mine and he had this, he's great. He had this great line where he's like, comedians aren't friends. It's a bar fight. And occasionally, you're punching in the same direction as the guy next to you and it gives the illusion that you're friends. And I'll say this, I left Los Angeles. I have a lot of friends now that aren't comedians. That's been really good for my heart, for lack of a better term. And I see that as really true. Like comedians, I think of us as pirates. Like, we're always kind of like, where'd you get that gold? Where'd you get that chest? Where are those seven seeds? Like, it's never entirely chill. There's always going to be a little bit. And that's what we like about each other. We also relax

around each other to mix metaphors. Again, we're a little bit like, assassins and we hang out and we have our briefcases with our rifles and we wear our black leather gloves and it's nice to just not pretend that we're not assassins with each other it doesn't necessarily lead to the richest inner life i'll admit something that i'm not proud of when i go on netflix it's really hard for me because i see every face is just somebody else that got another special or something and i have a netflix special it's still there's a part of me that is still fighting as if his life depends on it. And it takes a lot of conscious effort,

like sometimes literally in my imagination, sitting that person down and being like, that's not what's happening. That's not what's happening. You think like it's a depravity thing. You think this person got it, so you're not gonna get it. Relax.

And then a very practical step is like, go to gratitude. I also just keep my head out of it. I'm not on social media. I'm not on, I don't need. even like going on Netflix. Like I'd rather just find what I want to watch and say it into the into the remote. Just kind of stay out of it. So I can just be in my lane. My family, my job, I want my act to be as good as possible. I'll either sell it or I won't or figure it out, put it here, put it there. Just keep your highs on your own paper. Do you think there's a point,

by the way, same here. I've gotten much better at that. Like I'm, I actually feel genuine happiness when my peers are doing well now. That doesn't mean I don't want to be number one. But before I used to think, man, if they're doing well, maybe that means I'm not, you know? And I don't really have a lot of that anymore. I don't think. When I'm clear, I'll think something like we were talking about Sebastian,

Sebastian selling out arenas. I'm like, it rising tide lifts all the boats. And that's true. I started doing colleges as a young man. That was the first thing I did. And I told this to Dane, Dane Cook. I was like, more people were at my show because of you. Because you made comedy cool.

So instead of being a hater, I call that comedy cancer, if you go around being like, this guy, fuck that guy, this, that, that, it's going to kill you. It's going to kill you. You need to make that little effort to go because these kids love Dane, they might see a comedy poster and go,

I'll go see some guy I don't know. And they did. And now they might be my fan. And that doesn't mean, now I've won. It just means like it's good for all of us. Sebastian's good for all of us. Bill is good for all of us. Malaney's good for all of us.

Amy's good for all of us. This is same team. I try, but it does take effort to go, we're all in this together. It's not me versus you. And again, I hope you're all hearing this like you're not in comedy, but you're in your industry or your life or your friends. It's interesting you brought up Dane.

Dane's been on and another Boston guy, by the way. Yeah, Arlington. What was interesting is, you know, he was pretty, he's been pretty open about like his challenged time of his career, you know, with his brother taking advantage of him. And maybe you couldn't maintain that level of notoriety forever and stuff. And I'm like myself, I'm curious what you think about this. And we've only got a time for a couple more things, unfortunately, because I'd spend three hours. But I'm enjoying this too.

Thank you. I am really, man. I really am. I knew I would. Do you think that there's, if you give an advice to someone who's like on the climb, like, like dames climbing, like you're climbing, like I've climbed. Yeah. I said this to someone recently, there is a point on the climb where like, at least for

me, like those first rungs were worth every trade-off. Like that rung, there comes a trade-off to climb to the next level. You're going to miss a family birthday party or, you know, some of your mental health ain't going to be completely together. So there's these rungs you climb in life. And for the most part, the trade-off to get to the next rung level on the ladder was worth it. But I think maybe there's a point where you do need to evaluate the rungs, so to speak, and the tradeoff.

Like at some point when you do have a family and you do have a wife and you do have children, do you buy into that? Like at some point, you do need to evaluate what it's costing you. So hard. So if it makes you feel good, I hope it does. These are great questions. Thank you. These are great questions.

They really are. And they're coming from somebody. I feel like we must have a lot in common because that is what it is. And if there's something, if I were to give, if every comedian working today, it would be a terrible audience,

sat down and I could, we all got to talk for 15 minutes like Ted. My talk would be about balance. And I can't, I just don't see a lot of guys even going for it, even trying for it. And they,

And they've bought into this idea and they have agents and managers and people on the payroll. People say things like make hay while the son's out. And I'm like, motherfucker, how much hay? How much hay do you need? Like, it's too much hay. And the people, you know who's telling you make hay while the son's out? The people that get 10% of your hay. That's right.

So my wife and I have, we've covered a lot of mantras here. They're all simple. But we go, good life when? Good life when? When are we going to do that? And at a certain point, I went, for me as a performer, one weekend a month is right. For me as a father and a husband and a friend, one weekend a month is right. I'm in a very great place in my career where I can do one weekend a month.

I don't have to hustle and do four weekends in a month. But to give myself the credit, most people would just say, do the four weekends. And I go, but good life when? Like a daughter is a great way to go to see the passage of time. Those babysitter club bedtime readings. We do night swims. We go on bike rides. I am, I look at my comedy like a cactus.

This is my strategy. How little can I feed it? Because comedy is actually, and I think I'm at the top of my game. If you come and see me, what I'm doing is. now is better than what I was doing five years ago. So it's not suffering. I'm keeping an eye on the levels, but I want to water it as little as possible. That means I do one week a month. I do one Largo show here in LA a month. That's enough for me to write and produce. And when I'm about to go on the road, I usually do one or two sets in town just to get the dust off. That is the

minimum. And when I do, Ed, nothing changes. When I do the improv or the store, I want people to say that was the best guy. I can't always be the best guy, but sometimes I'm the best guy. And it means a lot to me to be like, you guys don't even know I'm going to be hitting a pinata tomorrow. You don't even know that I'm leaving the club. I'm going to drive 90 minutes into the mountains because I want my kid to leave her bike on the lawn. Like it's, It's the big, and just, that's all, that's nice to say like it's for them. It's also for me, when I watch that Eddie Murphy documentary, he goes, if you pray for something, pray for peace of mind. I was like, this guy gets it.

I did too. That, right? Yes. That's the line. Yeah. That's the piece that passes understanding, right? You're, what you want isn't to just ring the bell every time. You want to have a quality of consciousness that can actually appreciate and, and bask in the glow of what you've done.

You want to be able to sleep. You want to be able to sit on the beach. You want to be able to forget what time it is. You want to be able to put your phone in a drawer. You want to go like, I'm not even going to look at my finances this week because I know I'm working and I know the bills and every and we have people for that. Like that is what I mean by balance. And it's the best, like if you saw my life, I'd hand over the footage, you'd be like,

wow, pizza comedian like 6% of the time and 94%. I bet I think you're rich. I bet I live a rich life. And I got to tell you all what he just said, you guys, look, there's seasons of your life. When you're young and killing it, you've got to climb, climb, right? Like, I do think there's those times. For sure. But I got to tell you all.

Let me tell you what that takes that he just decided. By the way, I've done it too. You all know this. I went out of TV show with NBC. I'm like, no, I'm not doing it. I'm like, I'm just doing it. And I got to tell you what that takes. It takes unbelievable courage.

And that sounds easy. It is so hard when you're climbing to go, no. But you see people that you're competing against. Let's just be real. Keep climbing and keep going. And you've got to sell yourself on your version of life. That's why this whole thing of like being a witness of your own life, what matters to you now? Yeah.

And sometimes I think you've got to audit a dream. Like, is this still my dream? That's good. You know what I mean? Is this still what I want? Is this still my dream? It's okay that it changes and evolves or adjusts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Be witness, be aware. Ask yourself some dadgum questions in your life. It's okay. I think quitting on a dream when you're losing, that's quitting. But adjusting on a dream when you're winning, like what you just said, that's more winning to me. That's what you. Yeah, I appreciate that.

I appreciate that. I'll give you a good one, like Hollywood award parties and stuff. I used to think you had to go to that stuff. I was like, everyone here is miserable. It's true. It's true. It's like a bunch of mirrors. Nobody to say I see you.

It's all these look at me's and nobody to look at you. All these people saying, watch me dive, but nobody's watching anybody dive. It's just the people that just want to be watched diving altogether in tuxedos. I was like, maybe we can stop doing that. That was an easy one. That's so good. Yeah. But you already said it, Ed, but like when I was,

it was absolute insanity. Like we could have that conversation too. It was insatiable. It was yes to everything. Go, go, go. But I know guys that that make millions a weekend and they still complain they don't see their families.

And I'm like, please, it's like a type of, I don't want to call it an illness, but it seems like somebody needs to tell you, please, please stop. It's really true. You know what happened for me? I'll tell you this, and then I'll ask you a last question.

I'll just share. it with you and everyone can listen in i was with my dad when he died uh we're in his home so we're in his living room my dad died of cancer and and uh it was a really profound like thing first off my dad became my best friend he was alcoholic and when i was young became my best friend but it was just maybe this sounds simple to everybody and trite but like my dad died in his house his car was in the driveway neither one went with him you're really not your possessions. You don't take it with you.

And then my dad's awards of his life, like golf tournaments he won or business awards or whatever, they were in the room my dad died in. They stayed here. You're not your accolades. Like you're not those things. When my dad died, he had worries and insecurities and problems. None of those went with him either. You're none of those things.

That's right. You know. what's interesting is what he did leave here and one of the things my dad helped thousands of other people get sober like maybe start to focus more on who and what you'll matters to you like your children like your relationships like figuring out what you believe about god in life and uh there's a season for everything in life it takes great courage to do what you're doing because you are in that handful of conversation of the greats and to go you know what this weekend i'm going to be with my daughter and my wife when they're not and you're competing that you guys that sounded

really nice when he said it you don't know how difficult that is to call that shot because i've called it yeah you know okay i've always wanted to have a term for this like when we moved into this house we have a pool and we put a cover on it and we put a cover on it because my daughter was little and you know she couldn't swim so it was for her but then i love swimming so i want to heat the pool i swim in the winter. And then the cover is, you know, what makes it stay warm. So I did it for her. And then it ended up being for me. So I want a word in English, something you do for someone else that ends up being for you because this is one of them. I only do once a month. Guess what? I look forward to it. I'm better. I'm brighter. I'm eager. I can't wait to get up there. Sometimes, you know,

a fluke or I said, I couldn't say no to something. I end up doing two weekends in a row. I'm just a little bit more my voices raspy. Doing the joke, it works. You're like, who cares it works? It's for them. And then it ends up being for me. It's a pool cover. And there's so many things in my life that are like that.

Oh, bro. When you figure that out, you're going to have to come on and tell us. That's last. You said it later, just curious, you said later, or earlier, rather, that when they leave, hey, I want them thinking, that guy was the best of the night. But overall, like, because I do think there's certain. shows I've gone to and I just laugh my butt off, right? There's other people, you're one of them, that like I've also thought about something when I leave, you know, like I'm a little,

like this dude was saying something in there or I felt something or is there something you are conscious of? Maybe you're not. Maybe you just wanted to laugh. That's it. But do you want people feeling or thinking when they leave a show with you? Yeah. Yes. And I want, I want them to be thinking, what is this? I, that moment when I'm reading with my daughter and I go, hey, we're here. Or that moment when you're giving your talk and you realize your phone and get in and you snap out of it. I want them to snap out of it. That's what I'm going for.

Meaning I want them to arrive in their lives. And the best way to do that is to sometimes directly ask them about the nature of their reality, what this is. I had that bit about we're all atoms. That makes no sense. That makes no sense. I don't understand. These atoms know their atoms. And there's a certain, you know, there's a quality when someone tells a ghost story.

It just kind of brings you into your body. The same thing can happen when somebody's just like, what is? The air is also made of atoms. I'm made of atoms. Or become aware of the empty space in your room. And don't you see that you're kind of like that empty space? That's what you close your eyes. You're a vacant field of scintillating knowing.

wherein sounds and thoughts and you can picture a lemon or you could hear my voice or you could see what's around you it all appears in the same empty space that you essentially are that in the same way that a ghost story can you go like oh gee you snap out of it remember in wally where he's going wali the wali the disney moose he goes around and he keeps knocking into the people that are stuck on their screens and they're drinking their slurpees he knocks them in their screen goes off And they unplug and they go, oh, where was I? That's what I want. And sometimes the best way to do that is to just go, what is this? Because I'm tired of not talking about it.

Like you said, I don't care how you label it, but we're all in this conundrum. It's inexplicably mysterious. And we walk around talking about pants and trophies and what car you drive or what you're going to have for lunch. What? We're in outer space. And even we're in this knowing space where we are a mystery. What we are as a mystery. And we just go like, oh, who do you like on Instagram or who did you vote for, this or that? Let's bring it down. Let's reduce it down to the thing that we all have in common, that we're here. We are. We're aware. We're present. And if we're being honest, we're kind of confused. It's so, this is an all-timer, bro. This is an all-time. Remember when I introduced him? I told you that there was a depth there.

By the way, here's what's so great about him. You'll get all of that. And then you'll get a joke like, do you ever have to poop so bad you'd pee second? You're going to get them both, you guys. You're going to get them both. Like, I'm just telling you. You have my permission, by the way.

You can say that. You're ever in a tight spot. You say it. Get the laugh. Then go, that's a Pete Holmes joke. You have my blessing. That is one of the best loaded guns I've had in my back pocket. It's an all-timer, brother.

It's an all-time podcast, too. Like, I'm going to have you back on. Like, you know what? Yes, please. So it comes out or something, come back on. And by the way, you can go see him on the road. How do they find out where you're playing on these one weekends a month? Pete Holmes.

I know I said I'm not on social media, but that just means I approve what's on my social media. So you can follow me there at Pete Holmes on all of them. And petehomes.com is my tour dates. And I will have a special coming. out in February on YouTube. I'm very excited about. Go check him out. Bro, I enjoyed today a lot.

I'm going to come up. I'm going to find you on the road somewhere. I'm going to come see you. Please do. Please do. Thank you. All right, everybody. Max out your life.

Share today's episode. I know you will. God bless you. This is the Edmireland show.