THE ED MYLETT SHOW - HOW TO MAINTAIN CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE

Episode Date: January 18, 2024

I literally thought we were going to die… ❗️NEW EPISODE ALERT! This special episode is all about seizing control and steering your life in the direction YOU choose. Recently, a hair-raising cab ride with my daughter Bella turned into much more than a moment of heart-pounding fear; it became a profound lesson about life's unexpected turns and who's really in the driver's seat. That ride wasn't just scary; it was a stark reminder of the chaos we invite into our lives when we let others take control. When we finally escaped that cab, the ordeal didn't end there. The driver's next turn led to a crash – a literal collision that echoed the potential disasters we face when we surrender our power to others. Reflecting on that day, I realized it was more than just a bad ride; it was a metaphor for life. Too often, we sit back, not questioning, not asserting, letting someone else steer our course. And where does that lead? To situations, relationships, or decisions that we never wanted, putting everything precious at risk. In this episode, we're going deep into what it means to truly audit your thinking, to understand the emotions and fears driven by others' actions and opinions. It's about dissecting those feelings, understanding the 'why' behind them, and most importantly, reclaiming your rightful place at the wheel of your life! We often cruise in the passenger seat of our existence, not realizing the power we have to change lanes, to speed up, to slow down, to choose our destination. It's time to grab that wheel, to drive with purpose and intent, and to ensure that the journey of life is one that YOU dictate. Don't let your life be a series of reckless rides, where the cost is too high, and the risks too great. Tune in, take control, and transform your journey into one of intention, direction, and ultimate fulfillment. The road is yours – TAKE THE WHEEL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Hi everybody, welcome back to the show. So today I want to share an experience with you that I had recently that really made me reflect on life in general and how we all operate our lives. And so here's what happened. I was on a daddy daughter trip with my daughter, not that long ago, Bella. We were in Boston and we had gone out to dinner one night. And after dinner, we called a cab and a cab came and picked us up. And when we got in the cab, I could tell this guy that was driving the cab

was an odd duty, was kind of agitated and fidgety. And we both kind of looked at each other and kind of smirked, thinking this could be interesting. And it really got interesting. And so I'm going to tell you this story, but I tell you this story under the premise that it made me look at life in general and being in control in our life

or who or what is in control and how terrifying it can be in our lives to feel out of control. And frankly, in my work, so many people I meet are not in control of their lives, they're not in control of their emotions, their behaviors, and something else is always driving what they're doing. When you can uncover who's really driving in your life, what's driving the way you behave, what's driving the results of your life? You can have a significant breakthrough, and believe it or not this evening, I had one. So here's what happens. Bella and I have dinner and it was a great dinner.

So great to be able to get away with just one of your children at some time. And so we just had an incredible experience and that it'll be in a great weekend. But this night was terrifying. And so we get into this cab and we begin to drive. And immediately this guy takes off screeches out. And I say, Hey, man, you know, hang on a second, I've got the most precious commodity in the world back here with me, which is my daughter, right? This guy starts to accelerate. And my daughter and I ended up being on a 25 minute

ride that was one of the most terrifying experiences of both of our lives, where we were totally out of control and at the mercy of this person. I know if you ever had a cab ride to some of these cities, but sometimes it can almost be funny. You're sitting back there going the crazy things they'll do. Sometimes it's so scary you're almost laughing. I don't know if you ever had that experience before in a cab, but where they're just driving crazy and cutting people off and not breaking and running red lights. And if you ever did that yourself, or even if you were riding with a frontier car, be like, hey, slow it out, take it easy, you're going to kill us here.

For some reason, these things happen in cabs I found in my life, but this one was a totally different level. And so he gets the accelerator so quickly we're both thrown back into the seat where it and I can't move forward. And I'm trying to tell this guy because there's a cage between you and the front, hey man, slow down. And my daughter starts laughing, I think, out of fear, you know, that giggle where you're kind of scared. And I start kind of laughing at first as well.

We find ourselves doing over 60 miles an hour in the beginning of this ride, on one way streets in Boston. I don't know if you've ever been to cities like Boston before. But these are one way streets. You should be going 15 miles an hour, maximum. It's dark out, the lights aren't on. Her and I don't know the city very well.

And we're doing 60 miles an hour. We almost hit a parked car. Then we take a left, almost hit an uncommon car because he took a left turn onto the wrong way of a one way. And he's zooming out of it. We're doing 60 miles an hour. And everywhere we went around corners, around bends, the cars almost skidding, and we're both yelling them, stop, stop, and he's not

he thinks because we laughed in the beginning, but somehow we're enjoying this. And he's actually doing more of it. And it gets to the point where we end up zooming towards this fork in the road, and now we're doing about 80 miles an hour on a road that should be maybe 15 miles an hour maximum. And what happened throughout this ride is we lost total control of our lives. I mean complete control. We are at the mercy of this person driving, and you know what it's like when you get in the cab. I've never met him before. I don't know his background. I don't know what drugs may be going through his system. I've got my daughter back here who's life I'm now in fear of. I'm in fear of my own life at the same time. And he were going so fast, we're jammed in the back by these seat belts.

This was not a normal, crazy cab ride. This was something else. And it was a terrifying experience to be totally out of control. And this pilot, this person driving up front owned our lives Our entire lives were in his hands and they weren't in very good hands And when I tell you that this is the most crazy ride of my life We ended up pulling on to the on ramp of the freeway going the wrong way at one point heading on to the wrong way of an on-ramp. Certainly towards our deaths, this just happened. And he catches himself, throws it in reverse,

does about 30 miles an hour in reverse, where we're weaving back and forth the wrong way now, and then back. And we end up flying. You can probably picture what this experience was like for us. And now I'm yelling at the guy, you know, you can imagine the words coming out of my mouth, but he's not stopping because he so worked up probably whatever was in his system at the time. And we finally pull up to the valet at the hotel. We were blessed to be staying at a pretty nice hotel. And I could see the valets could see us coming because you could hear the engine roaring from a couple blocks away. You can picture this and it's dark out. It's raining a little bit now. You can hear our car coming. And we finally corner around the hotel

and he screeches into the valley. And of course, we spent those 25 minutes totally out of control in our lives. Someone else driving everything. And as a control freak in my own life, it was a terrifying experience and so I will get into what happened after that but I had my daughter get out of the car I said, bella get out of the car and me and this

man exchanged a few words. It wasn't really very intense because I was still in such shock. Frankly in hindsight I wish I was more aggressive with him and I paid the the fair and I paid the fair, and I shut the door. And here's what happens next. He takes off out of the valet full speed, and now I'm telling the valet, I'm in the middle of telling the valet, my daughter and I, what this experience just was,

and we watched the car. He is still within sight distance of the valet and he hits a car head on then he hits a parked car. This was within eye shot of where we were about 35 to 40 seconds after he dropped us off. He was in a very serious car accident. Now fortunately, by the way, we're just out of the car. So my daughter and I were seconds away from being in that accident.

Now fortunately, the people that he hit ended up being okay, and I believe he was okay. And I tell you all of that story because I believe it was a tremendous metaphor for our lives. Number one, it was a terrifying experience. The terrifying part wasn't necessarily just the fear that we were going to hurt ourselves or be killed or hurt someone else, but it was this notion of being completely out of control and something in someone else was driving everything. And I think a lot of people's lives are that way.

And so if you could picture that car ride, which you'd a picture your life, and I want to ask you a question, because that crash is inevitable if something or someone else is driving things behind the scenes in our subconscious mind, or in our emotions, or even spiritually, we were seconds away from that crash. And my fear is that so many of you, including myself sometimes, have something or someone else driving, and then we're not in control of our choices and our decisions and that we don't do a self audit regularly enough to say, what's driving my behavior? What's driving these results on getting?

Who's really in control here? And I really in control of my life, my in control of my decisions, my in control of the choices that I'm making. And more often than not, someone else or something else behind the scenes subconsciously and sometimes even consciously is in control of our lives and we live our lives out of control. Before I get into some of the teaching that I want to share with you, I want to ask you a question. Do you really feel like you're in control of your life? Do you really feel like you're in control of your choices? Or far too often, are you a passenger in the backseat of your own life? Out of control. Zicking and zagging dangerously through

like maybe even more dangerously than most people know, maybe more on the edge than most people could ever Possibly understand or realize And I have to tell you those experiences are terrifying not only in that car that night and what ends up happening at some point is there's a crash and The carnage can be terrible in our lives And so let's ask ourselves together today, myself included, who's driving right now for you in your life? Are you in the backseat, a passenger in your own life, and something or someone else is driving most of your life in control of too many aspects of your life? And so let's look at what some of those things could be that may possibly be driving things.

Number one, are your fears the driver of your life? Is that who's in control? Is that who's really driving who guides things and you're a pastor in their backseat, sort of being thrown around out of control? Because your fears drive your choices and your behaviors in your life. Could that be what's driving right now? And if fears are driving your life, Could that be what's driving right now? And if fears are driving your life, ultimately there will be a crash. If fears are driving your life, you were in

the back seat of your life, not in the front seat, driving, not in control of your life. Fears could ultimately be driving most of the choices you're making in your life, most of the feelings you have in your life, and most of the results of your life. For far too many people, the front seat is being driven by their fears and they're in the back seat at the whims and choices and decisions that their fears make on their behalf. Maybe it's not your fears. Maybe it's some other person's opinion that you're worried about. Maybe it's judgment still from parents. I have a very good friend of mine who told me recently, she said, I'm still trying to get the approval of my dad and my father's been passed away for 15 years. Is it some other person's opinion that's driving the choices you're afraid of? The hate you might get from them, the criticism,

the ridicule, the frustration? Do you live with someone whose emotions are on edge all the time and you're afraid of their anger? You're afraid of them lashing out, you're afraid of their judgment, you're afraid of their emotions ups and downs, the roller coaster type person in your life, you're afraid of them. Maybe you don't phrase it that way, but you don't want to offend them, you don't want to work them up, you don't want to poke them too much, or maybe you've got a parent or a friend or a group of people that you're afraid of their judgment. And their opinion, what they'll think of you, if you really were authentic and vulnerable about who you are and what you want. And what

the emotions are that you have in your life. So you wear a mask. You pretend to be somebody that you're not to please these people. Is some other person's opinion driving your life? Is it both of them? Is it your fears that drive sometimes? And then when your fears decide to get in the passage or seat, some other people's opinion, they're driving now, but you're still on the back seat totally out of control. By the way, sometimes we fear the opinion of an imaginary person who doesn't even exist, but we're just worried

about what they're going to think. We don't even know who they are or what they're thinking, but we don't want to mess it up. And that's a person who lives out of control. It is ziggin and zagging out of life. Half the time going the wrong way, throwing it in reverse. Really scary way to live our lives, yet so many people live an unexamined life. So hey guys, as you know, I've partnered up with my good friend, Brennen Brushard, who's created the greatest personal development system

that has ever been designed called Growth Day. If you go to growthday.com forward slash ed, you can get all the information, but it's that time of year where everybody's trying to form new habits, they've got new resolutions and goals, and you need an environment and you need some coaches and you need to be able to do it super inexpensively. And that's where growthday.com forward slash ed comes in. There's everything from journaling to accountability programs, live messages every Monday for myself and other influencers.

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month. That's better help help.com slash ed show. By the way, I think to some extent, I'm talking to myself. I'm a control freak. I know that. And I know that in that car that night, I didn't like not being in control. But I do know that there's been times in my life where there are other things that control me. I wonder why I make that choice. Why did I say that? Why can't I get control of my emotions or why do I keep falling into this pattern? So I relate. I ask you this, maybe it's not fears, maybe it's not someone's other opinion, maybe it is. Maybe it's just an old story that's in control of your life. There's a story you keep telling yourself about your past, about someone who hurt you or some harm that was done,

or some failure of yours, and you just keep this old story going. And it's controlling your entire life. It drives everything you do to this day. Some old story that you've just kept carrying and carrying and carrying. My mom did this, my dad did that, my sister did this, that divorce, this person hurt me, it may even be a true story. But that old story is driving the car of your life, not you. You've allowed this story, true or not, let's just assume it's true. To control your life.

And until you let go of that story, until you surrender that yes, that happened, but I'm going to create a new story, I'm going to tell you where I'm going, that old story keeps driving. And by the way, that old story, you know what it does? It takes you on the same road, the same time, over and over and over again.

It's like having no navigational equipment, no steering wheel, no brake, no accelerator. It's just on autopilot. It's like having an auto driven car, but you don't even need to be driving. And it's just this story just drives your life and it's been driving it for too long. So maybe it's an old story that's driving your life. And that's stories in control of your life, not you. Let me say this halfway through on these different choices. You were born to be in control of your life, you and God, you and your higher power, you and your faith partnering together. Your fears aren't

supposed to be in the front seat driving your life with you in the back seat, some spectator being thrown around afraid. Other people's opinions, parents, siblings, friends, imaginary people that don't even exist, their opinions shouldn't be driving your life, but behind the scenes. Let's just be real. That's who's driving. That's who's in control. This old story that you keep telling, stop! It's controlling your entire life. It allows you to make no new turns. See no beautiful new vistas.

Take in anything brand new. Because you keep repeating the same story on the same track and the same map. Maybe it's not an old story. Maybe it is. Maybe it's your emotions that are in charge of your life. Do you have a tendency to get to sadness too quickly? Anger? Anxiety? I think in my case, if I were being honest, I think many times my emotions have taken the front seat and they've driven.

I've allowed my emotions to be the driver. I've had a propensity when I was younger, I think anger, I'd have these outbursts, maybe some of you relate to this, and then later I'd feel so bad. Why was I so worked up? Why did this emotion take over and drove? For that entire hour of my life, that entire day, that entire week of my life? Maybe some of you wake up and you have this pattern of sadness, this emotion keeps popping up, and it can control of your life. It takes the decisions or the lack thereof that you keep making. Maybe it's anxiety. I don't know which one it is, but these emotions are in control of your life. Not you. They drive your proverbial life for you. It's a scary thing, isn't it? When you feel though, if you're one of these people, where your emotions start to, you go out,

you know it, right? It's coming. And these emotions start driving, and you're not in control, and you can't stop it. You can't turn it off. And then later, you look back with regret, and you're frustrated with yourself. I think a self-audit right now, some self-reflection,

is some examination as I'm talking. They're emotions that are driving. Is that the driver that's so scary? That cab driver that night was pretty dang scary, right? Maybe anger is your cab driver. Maybe sadness is your cab driver. Maybe anxiety is your cab driver. Maybe your old stories are your cab driver.

Maybe other people's opinions. maybe it's your fears. But when emotions drive our lives, we are in out of control human being. And by the way, even those of you that hang on for those rare moments of total joy, total bliss, those little fractional moments that you're going to get. Let's just be honest, one to five, maybe 10% of the time, at best in your life. You're going to hang on and delay all of the great things in your life just for those fleeting moments of some little, you know, hit of bliss. As opposed to you being in charge of your life and allowing yourself to experience the emotions you want any time you want.

You dictate the story, you dictate the opinion. You push away the fears. You choose the emotions. The emotions don't choose for you. Maybe it's not that. Maybe who's driving is your lack of belief? Maybe it's your lack of self-confidence and belief in yourself and that lack of belief, that lack feeling that you have for yourself is really in control of your life. That's the cab driver. The cab driver of your life is, I don't believe in myself. So that I don't believe in myself as the cab driver drives every choice I make. It's why I avoid making risks. It's why I don't date or I don't see people or I don't start a business or I don't really go for it in my business or I don't start building my personal brand or I don't write that book or I don't give that speech or I don't reach out to that person that I want to reconcile with.

My lack of belief is the cab driver of my life. I'm totally out of control of them being honest because this lack of belief is going on behind the scenes. It's this loop that I keep running. That's who's really driving my life, not me. So is it your lack of belief? Maybe it's not lack of belief, maybe it's just your patterns. You've developed these patterns in your life of thoughts, most of which were installed in you when you were very, very young, and you have these patterns that you just keep repeating over and over.

I think of a few friends of mine and why does it surprise us when someone behaves like who they are? You know, I have a few friends I think of recently, like, they made some choices that, you know, they've always made these choices. They just, you know, they can go for five months or a year or eight months, being a better version of themselves, They can go for five months or a year or eight months, being a better version of themselves, but ultimately, they do the same thing they've always done. They go back into the same pattern, the same choice, the same self-destruction, the same pain

they cause other people, the same selfishness, whatever it might be. Their patterns are in total control of their life. And so they can go a little while. It's almost like an alcoholic was like, I can quit for a month. I can quit for six months. I can quit for eight months. Eventually that pattern comes back again. And so are your patterns, the cab driver of your life?

Are they the ones in charge? Do your patterns eventually come back and they kind of rule the roost? What about this? Maybe it's you as a child is still in control of your life. Things that happened you and you were a child, the thoughts you had as a child, the mindset, the identity you developed as a child, the five year old you still in charge, the eight year old you still in charge, the 12 year old you still in charge. Not the adult well-old used tol in charge, not the adult, well-read, someone listening to personal development, listen to the best in the world,

listen to me right now, not all the stuff you've learned, but it's your patterns, or it's you as a child that's in charge. And this little girl or little boy is still in charge of your life rather than this grown, strong woman who's capable of taking charge and being the driver, this grown, strong man who can make new choices and new decisions and create a new life and treat people differently and feel differently. That's not who's driving, that's not who's in charge. You're in the back seat and the five-year-old who's in the front seat driving nothing scarier than a child driving the car of life driving nothing scarier than a child driving the car

of life nothing scarier than a child. Can you imagine a seven-year-old driving that cab through Boston that night? But so many of you, the seven-year-old used driving you through this entire life, this nine-year-old, this five-year-old, this two-year-old. Time for that to stop. And then lastly, you know what? Maybe there's just another person who's in control of you. Maybe there's a person in your life that you've allowed to take control of you. And those you that are in that situation, right when I said it, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Those you that have a girlfriend that's living like that, or a buddy of yours that's living like that, you know exactly what I'm talking about. This other person controls them. They've allowed this other person to take control of their life, to be in charge of their life, pleasing them, not offending them, making them happy, making them comfortable, pulling them out of their emotional turmoil, tried to avoid that person's emotional outburst or their ridicule in their life. So many people have entered a dependent type relationship, a codependent type relationship

with a friend or a loved one, their significant other, and the truth is that other persons in control of your life are their life and not you. And you were born to have another person control your life. Nobody is that important that they should be in control of your life. Nor should you be in control of their life. And maybe if you're that type of person who you have this propensity that's going to control people, maybe you need to evaluate that today and say, what am I doing to this person in their life?

And if you're being controlled by another person, you've got to ask yourself, when did I surrender control to this person? And how do I get this back? Because all of these things are equally or more scary than that cab ride at that night. Because all you got is this one life. So hey guys, you know when I love technology and a great idea revolutionizes an old industry.

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But the truth of the matter is, you should have more bliss, more abundance, more success, more wealth, more contribution, more memories, maybe than you're getting right now. And it's a scary way to go through life. I want to challenge you today to evaluate what I've covered, to get out of the backseat of your life, to stop allowing your fears, other people's opinions, old stories, your emotions, your lack of belief, your patterns, your inner child, or another human being to control your life. And you step forward and get in the driver's seat again. And so that these crashes don't keep happening. This journey of life is supposed to be a rather beautiful one where we have these awakenings

and breakthroughs and discoveries and understandings. I like to say that I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. Whatever that means for some of you is the expansion I'm addicted to the expansion of my being. Whatever that means, for some of you that's the expansion of your contribution, is the expansion of your emotions, is the expansion of your wealth, the expansion of your company, the expansion of the relationships you have, expansion of the difference that you can make. But none of those things are possible if you aren't in the driver's seat,

if you aren't in control of your life. And I don't want you to be standing around waiting for that inevitable crash that we saw at the valet that night. You weren't born for that. You were born to do something beautiful and magnificent with your life. And so I hope today you take in an evaluation of who's really in charge, who's really doing the driving in your life. And as I've listed these different drivers in life, these different things that can take control of our lives, that you eliminate the ones that impact you the most and you switch seats. And you move them to the back seats, not like they're always just going

to go away instantaneously. Let me be very clear, when you make decisions like this, they don't just disappear. But if you can move them to the back seat and you step forward in the front seat now you're driving and They're spectating. They'll do their best to climb in that front seat from time to time But if you understand who they are and you're aware of them You can move them back there any time you need to and you can drive the results in the emotions of your life I hope today helped you It's sure helped me just talking about it with you And I just want to say something to you. You were born to do something great with your life and God bless you. I care very deeply about

you and your life. And I only teach things that come from my experience. This is no soap box I'm speaking from. This is just from experience and giving you hopefully the breakthroughs and the, you know, the success clues that I've learned in my life and sharing them with you. Success leaves clues. And there's a a recipe to success and today this was part of the recipe of the mix of changing it so that your life changes. Alright God bless you everybody just challenge you to please share this episode with somebody that you care about. Continue to max out your life. This is the admiral shop.

This is the Edmireland Show.