THE ED MYLETT SHOW - How to Rebuild Your Life When Everything Feels Broken | Ed Mylett

Episode Date: March 14, 2026

What do you do when life knocks you down so hard that everything feels broken? The truth is that some of the greatest comebacks in the world are built in those exact moments. In this mashup episode, I bring together powerful conversations with people who have stared adversity straight in the face and found a way to rise again. If you’ve ever felt like life dealt you a hand that was impossible to play, this episode will remind you that your story is far from over. Sometimes the very thing that breaks you is the same thing that rebuilds you stronger than you’ve ever been before. You’re going to hear from people who have lived through moments most of us can’t even imagine. Damar Hamlin opens up about surviving one of the most shocking moments in sports history and how gratitude and purpose helped redefine his life after nearly losing it. Rich Diviney shares the difference between skills and attributes, and why the traits that carry us through the darkest seasons are often the ones forged in hardship. Robert O’Neill talks about operating under unimaginable pressure and how discipline and clarity help you keep moving forward even when everything around you feels chaotic. David Meltzer brings his powerful perspective on finding meaning in pain and how gratitude can shift the entire trajectory of your life. Sean Casey shares lessons from the world of professional baseball about failure, resilience, and why the setbacks you experience are often preparing you for your greatest breakthroughs. And Nick Santonastasso delivers one of the most inspiring reminders you will ever hear about refusing to let circumstances define what’s possible for your life. As I prepared this episode, I kept coming back to a simple but profound truth. Your life is a miracle. Thousands of generations had to exist just to get to you, and that alone should remind you how precious your opportunity is to live fully and intentionally. When life feels heavy and the challenges feel overwhelming, perspective can change everything. You have the power to rebuild, to reset, and to become the one who changes the trajectory of your family’s future. If you’re walking through a difficult season right now, this episode is for you. These conversations will remind you that broken moments are not the end of your story. They are often the beginning of your transformation. Key Takeaways Why the most difficult moments in life often become the foundation for your greatest growth Damar Hamlin’s perspective on gratitude and purpose after surviving a life changing moment Rich Diviney’s insight on the attributes that help people perform under extreme adversity Robert O’Neill’s lessons on staying focused and composed in high pressure situations David Meltzer’s framework for transforming pain into purpose and opportunity Sean Casey’s reminder that failure is often the greatest teacher on the road to success Nick Santonastasso’s powerful example of refusing to let circumstances define your potential How perspective can completely change how you experience challenges in your life 👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ←  ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FACEBOOK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LINKEDIN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WEBSITE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is the Edmiler Show. Hey, everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Edmilet Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody.

So gratefully, you decided to join me again this week. And I just really feel like this week's going to be special. As I was preparing my message for the week, I just felt really good about sharing these thoughts with you. This week is really more about perspective. and focusing on how blessed we are in our lives, and we often lose track of that. We lose perspective.

With all the stressors of daily life and all the things that are coming our way at any given time, whether that be what's going on in the world politically or the geopolitics going around the globe or our own financial issues or relationship strife or uncovering trauma from our lives and emotions and all the stuff that comes, bills to pay, and appointments to have, places to get, things to do, stuff you got to have an opinion on, things

to worry about. We can lose perspective on how blessed we are to be here, especially during these times. This is the greatest time ever to be alive. Access to the most information. We're the most connected in some ways we've ever been through technology. You could argue in some ways personally disconnected, which I'll talk about today. But we're really blessed. You are really blessed. And just for a little while today, let's just talk about you and just give you some perspective on you in your life that maybe you need. Certainly I needed preparing for it today.

You know, just being born in general. I mean, I know you go, all right, I know. I won the contest. No, no, no. Don't you think about this just for a second. Where you come from? You. You, we never do.

We never really stop and think about us. Us. You know, those of you to go to church, like I do, you have that occasional time on Sundays when you go. It's once a week or your Bible study to reflect. That's usually just one perspective, which is your relationship with God, which is the most important perspective. Obviously, if you watch my work, you know that. I feel that way. But let's just break it down to you just for a second and how much God really has blessed you. You know, in order to be born, you needed two parents. This is where you come from. Just think this through. How

miraculous it is that we got to you, that you exist. You needed two parents. You needed four grandparents. That means you had eight great-grandparents. 16 great-great-grandparents. 32, third-great-grandparents. 64-fourth-grade-grandparents. Think about that for a second. 64 people to you. 128 fifth-grade grandparents. Two-hundred-five-five-old. Two-five. 56th great-grandparents, 512-7th great-grandparents, and 1,024 8th great-grandparents. Is that amazing? We can keep going. 2048 nights. Over the past 12 generations spanning about 400 years, you needed a total of about 4,094 ancestors to come into existence. You are the result of thousands of lives choices and sacrifices that came before you.

In many of your cases, you come from absolute bravery in your ancestry, tragedy, atrocities that have happened. And you come from that. I know you're very, very proud of maybe where you come from or your ethnicity or maybe your parents or great-grandparents. but have you ever thought about the thousands of lives that had to exist that were shaped to you? And now we're to you. This reminds us of how precious and unique just our existences. It's a gift shaped by generations of ancestors. I want to challenge you today to just give that some thought.

These thousands of people that are yours that you've never met before, that lived lives before you, that their cell memory passed. on to you. The scriptures talk about the sins of the father and the blessings moving through generations. And that no matter what's happened in your family, in this generation, you can change your bloodline forever. You can. And every family I talk about there being the one that changes a family. I want to challenge you with these 4,000 ancestors of years that's led to today to honor their legacy by living with purpose and gratitude. Because someday, someone's going to be thousands of people removed from you. You know, I've been having these dreams the last year about my granddaughter.

She's not been born, and as far as I know, neither one of my kids are even close to having a baby. But I've been having these dreams about her. And I've been thinking about all the things I do every day and how that's going to impact her life. Someday she'll have a granddaughter, I imagine. And just the legacy of what I do every day. What you do. do every day. And now this thing is much bigger than us. We forget that, don't we? Don't we forget how much bigger this is than us? I know I do from time to time and what a blessing it is. I was at an event recently and it was a VIP room and this mother had won and she brought her, instead of her husband coming, she brought her son who was 25 years old. And they all got to

ask me a question. And he said, Mr. Milet, if you could come back in time and talk to the 25 year old you, now that you're almost 55 years old, I'm 53, you know, what would you, what advice would you give you at 25? And I really thought about it for a minute. And I said, you know, I'm going to tell you something very honestly. Number one, I would tell me that I'm as young and as healthy as I'll ever be in my life more than likely right now. And that this is the greatest time of my life. I said, you know, young man, I've been able to accumulate hundreds of millions of dollars of net worth. And I've been able to have all the material things in life you would probably ever want, you know, jets and islands and houses and just,

I've been really blessed for a dude who grew up, started out on welfare. That's pretty cool. Alcoholic dad, you know, God's been really good to me. I said, but let me say something to you. I would give you all of that back if I could be 25 years old again. I'd give it all back to you. And I said, by the way, 10 years from now, I will be 63 years old and probably wealthier than I am now. and I would trade every dollar that I'll make between 53 and 63. I promise you when I get to 63, I'd give all of that money back if I could go back and be 53 years old again. And I'd give you all I got right now to go back and be 25 years old again. And so time is the greatest blessing.

Youth is the greatest blessing. No matter what age you are, you're as young and as healthy as you're ever going to be. And having some understanding of how incredible this moment is that you're not one of the 80% of the people that live on Earth today that don't have clean water, that you've had three meals today. And I know you go, that's great. I've heard this, you know, I know I got a blanket and a place to live. No, you don't. The things that you worry about every single day that you have made larger than life that are stealing your joy that seems so big in this moment that won't matter at all 10 years from now or on your deathbed that won't matter at all in those moments, you let rule your life.

you let become these big, huge things. When 4,000 people had to exist for just to get to you. And someday you're going to have that granddaughter or great-granddaughter that looks to your legacy. Some of them won't even ever know you. But you will have made a difference in their lives. You will have changed their bloodline forever. And to understand what a blessing it is to be alive in this moment. Have a shot.

Have some hope. Have a gift. I've had multiple friends in the last several weeks. One of my dearest friends just found out that she's got, she had melanoma, and she's found out now, most of you know this is a public thing. Teddy Mellencamp, my friend, has found out she's had melanoma for years. Well, then she's found that it spread to her brain and had, I've seen the images, these plum-sized tumors in her brain, three in one spot, two in another, and had them removed. And she's got this scars on her head and then fluid on and unbelievable pain.

And she's got this precious family. And prior to that, she'd been going through some real things in her life. and it's just perspective on what really matters in life. So I'm having a bad day compared to what? Someone today woke up and lost the love of their life. Right? Someone didn't wake up today. The Bible says in 1 Peter 5 verse 10,

and that the God of all grace who's called you to his internal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you firm and steadfast. Life can be heavy. but if you'll just wait around long enough, it's not unbearable. Right when it feels unbearable, pain will linger, and prayers can be answered in your life.

But take heart, suffering is not the end of your story. Here's the truth. You're playing with house money. You can't lose. You can't lose. If you're a person of faith, you know where you're going. You know how the story ends.

In the meantime, you're playing with house money. Play your hand. Not everybody gets the same hand, but you got a hand to play. And people with worse hands than you have won. You can't lose.

Listen, one thing I know when this whole game's over, as long as I get to go to heaven someday, I can't lose. He already died for me. The case has been made. I'm just running up to score. By the way, I know how a lot of you feel like

I get these measures. Ed, I'm slipping. It's like a rope. I'm slipping. It's slipping. I feel like I'm slipping. Tie a knot. Tie a knot and hold on for a while.

Please. I'm serious. You don't always have to be climbing. Sometimes you've got to tie the knot and just hold on when it feels like life's slipping away. This left you. That relationship's gone. That money's gone. That business is gone. Tie a knot and hold on for one more day. The power of one more is real. My book is real. Tie a knot. Hold on for one more day. Catch your breath and then start climbing again. Just don't quit for one more day. You got one more in you. I can promise you. The greatest blessing of your life. is one more day. You know, when my dad got cancer, my dad was a man's man. I'll never forget. If you hear my voice, you know, my dad had my voice, had this deep voice, and my dad got cancer, and he says, hey, look, I just got to tell you, here's what's happened. And, you know, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to fight it once. That's what he told me. I'm going to once. I'll do the chemo thing, the surgery. I'll fight it one time. But Eddie, I'm not going on one of these, you know, year after year, you get all shriveled up, you're getting sick, your hair, all that. I'm not

doing that whole routine, but I will fight it once. And I remember saying, hey, dad, that's fair. I actually understand that. I might not either. But I will fight it once to what my dad said. That's not what happened. He fought it for eight years. Multiple surgeries, multiple chemos, radiation, proton therapy, experimental chemo. And everything that he said he didn't want to have happened. He did shrivel up. He was vomiting blood. He did go through times where he couldn't breathe and had to have help breathing. He did lose his hair.

His skin did change. He did get lesions. And I'd go, Dad, why are you going through this? You literally said you'd only do it once that you didn't want to go through all this suffering. And he goes, Eddie, I'm not suffering. I'm in pain, but suffering, you choose. I'm not suffering. I got to have dinner with mom again tonight.

That's not suffering. I'm in some pain. He goes, here's what I didn't know, son. Please remember this. And I'm going to share this with you, the words of a man dying of cancer. He said, here's what I didn't know, man. I get emotional telling you this. He goes, I didn't know what it would be like to actually face not having one more day with my family.

Sounds good in theory. You know, I'll fight it once. but I'm not going to. And he goes, until I realized I won't get to have another night with your mom. I won't have one more time to talk to you, my best friend. I won't talk to my daughters or see them or hug my daughters. He goes, you know, you'll do anything to get one more day once you're threatened to not have one, one more day with your family.

He goes, Eddie, I'll do anything. Heck, maybe I'll get to my granddaughter's weddings. Maybe I'll go see Max play golf one more time. I'll do anything to say play. See Max. play one more time. Remember my dad showed up to one of Max's golf tournaments after a really rough treatment round. It was a very hot day. In fact, I left that day. It was so hot. My dad walked the entire 18 holes to watch my son play golf, had just been through brutal chemo, all 18 holes

in his 70s, struggling with all of the poison in his body from the chemo. And he watched every shot all day long. I didn't. My dad did. And the reason was, he goes, I don't know if I'll ever get to see Max play golf again. I'll do anything to get to watch him play one more time. Anything to see little Jack play basketball again or Brett or Blake play baseball. Love to get to my daughter's wedding, my granddaughter's wedding. And so the greatest gift is one more day with your family. Don't wait around until you're threatened with not getting anymore to realize that.

Listen, here's the truth. You get the life you focus on. If you want a life where it's stress and worry and down and you're a victim and it's pain and it's depressing, you can get it. Just look around for it. It's there. Or you can have a life of blessing and gratitude and bliss. And I'm not saying you can't even have both. Because I don't live on the side where I just get all the good.

I get a little bit of both. I like the contrast. I do see pain and hurt. It was horrible when my dad passed away. It has been horrible struggling with my health this year, but I got another day. I got to wake up and see my beautiful family. I got to wake up and do this with you today. So you know what, everybody, I really appreciate the comments about, you know,

I've gotten a lot leaner and built more muscle this year. And it was really intentional. And I was thinking, how can I get ahead, you know, on my fitness? Because I already pretty fit and worked out. And it was how I'm eating. And that's where Factor came in. Factor doesn't ask you to meal prep or follow recipes. It just removes the entire problem.

Two minutes, real food, bam, done. And so once I started eating healthier and using Factor, not only did I get a lot leaner, but I built more muscle. And the truth is, guys, I had more energy. So one other thing I like is got to tell you, you can rotate the meals every single week. There's like a hundred different meals. High protein, calorie smart, Mediterranean.

It's awesome. You should be using Factor just like I am. Head to FactorMeals.com slash my let 50 off. And use code my let 50 off to get 50% off your first factor box plus free breakfast for a year. Offer only valid for new customers with code and qualifying auto renewing subscription purchase. Make healthier eating easy with factor. All right, I love when you guys send messages out on social media about the show. And lately, you've been getting a few of these messages about my wardrobe. I was wearing this sweater,

this tan sweater. And I kept getting all these messages from guys going, where did you get that sweater, bro? So I'm going to tell you where I got it. I got it at Quince. A well-built wardrobe is about pieces that work together and they hold up over time. That's what Quince does best. Here's the most important part. It's affordable. Don't break the bank, right? Quince has the everyday essentials I love with quality that last. Organic cotton sweaters, polos for every occasion, lighter jackets. It can keep you warm and changing seasons. Everything for everybody. Okay, go check them out. Quince works directly with top factories, cuts the middlemen so you're not paying for brand markup. So, refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to quince.com slash ed for free shipping on your order and

365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash ed. Free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash ed. I have way more than I would ever ask for in my life. By the way, look how far you've come. I'm talking to you. Look how far you've already come. Look what you've already overcome in your life. just look at you. You're freaking incredible. You don't give yourself enough credit. Now, am I saying accept everything about you that's not any good? Absolutely not. But your filter of life matters. Have you forgotten all you've overcome already? Have you forgotten all you've been through and still standing? Maybe a little wobbled, maybe a little hurt, maybe more injured than you've ever been,

maybe wounded. But you're still standing. You still got one more day. These 4,000 people's lives generation after generation after generation after generation after generation that sacrificed and suffered probably for you to be here. And I promise you 20 years from now, you'll trade everything that you have 20 years from now to come back to this moment right now and to be you again and to be young. Well, however young you are, 75 years young or 15 years young listening to this, you're as young and as healthy as you probably are ever going to be. And everything you need is within you right now to be happy and to win. You're going to get that life you see that you filter in.

There's so much for you to be blessed about. You woke up today with another breath. Thank you, God. Thank you, God, for another day. What a gift. Now, what am I going to do with it? Open up that gift. It's a present.

I want you to know this. Everything you need is within you to be happy and to win. You've just got to dig it out. You've got to find it. You've got to tap into it. and you cannot tap into that when you are in victim mode. You cannot tap into that when you're looking at your wounds. You tap into that when you're in gratitude,

when you're in strength, when you walk boldly with your faith. Whatever your faith is, just listen to me right now. I'm going to express it through my faith, but out of respect to you, I say this to you with whatever your faith is. But in my faith as a Christian, his hands are not just holding you. They're rebuilding you. The storm you are facing will not destroy you.

It will refine you. The clouds clear. They go away. The darkness eventually dissipates. And you're going to end up standing much bolder, much more steadfast, much stronger, a whole lot more confident when this thing blows over. And just know this.

He's never going to let you go. You're in the palm of his hand at any time, all the time. Just hold on. Tie the knot. Hold on for one more day. God is working in your life. He is going to shape something beautiful out of this mess. Out of your trials, out of your tribulations.

Your trial is a trial. He is trying you. You say, well, why is it that we have to go through these things? All that stuff's answered later. All I know is I think it's to draw us closer to him. All I know is that other people are depending on you. There's someone out there right now who's depending on you stepping up that needs you. Maybe it's someone in your family.

Maybe it's someone in your friend's circle. Maybe it's a client or a customer. Maybe it's somebody you haven't met yet and won't meet for a decade. But I can tell you, I didn't know that when I was a little boy, the lessons I was learning from my dad's alcoholism and drug addiction, would somehow serve people 30 and 40 years later. God's infinite wisdom. He's holding you in this hand going, I'm going to turn this into something awesome. But you've got to believe that.

And you've got to hold on. it's not slipping away. You're stronger than you think. This is going to rebuild you. You are going to be remade. There is a purpose to your pain. Look for it. My beautiful friend, you're a miracle. Isn't this cool? And right now, in a thought, you can change your life. In one decision, you can change your life. Now, a lot of people are quoting me lately on Instagram and evidently in all their memes, but you can go back 30 years ago and you will see me talking about one decision will change your life. You can go back a book 15 years ago. I'm not saying I coined the phrase or I own it, but dad gummit, I've been talking about this for a long time. You're one decision away from changing your life. Remember this. Your decisions shape your destiny.

Your decisions shape your destiny. You can make a whole new decision right now to see a different life, to focus on a different life, to make different decisions, to change that filter. You can make a decision today to change your mindset, to work on you, to rise from the ashes of where you are. You can make a decision that you're blessed, that you're favored, that there's a purpose to your pain. Or you can just let the world come at you some more. You can be a victim. You can just always react all the rest of your life rather than step up and start dictating the terms. You can be alone all your life or you can be with God all the time. And by the way, all that is, is your awareness because he's with you whether you realize it or not. You're in the palm of his

hand anyway. What if you just started to give it up all your worries, all your fears to him and just started to play the game with house money? Because it ends the same way. Oh, by the way, I have news for you. You're not getting out of this alive. It ends for all of us the same way. It ends. So we know the end. What we don't know is what we don't know is, happens between now and then. And hopefully you do know what happens after. But in the meantime, all we have is this moment right now. The past, that does not exist. It's a figment of your imagination. You go, no, no, no, I know exactly what happened. I'm just telling you, you're not living it now. You're imagining it. You're not living it now. You may try to. As best you can,

you can't live the past. And the future, that's just a wish. You know, a bunch of people woke up this morning, about 6 o'clock, had all these big bold plans for their day. They had a big future ahead. And for some of them by noon, they were on their way to heaven. All you have is this moment. And it's a beautiful moment. It's a blessed moment. And so many people have sacrificed for you to be here today.

Will you sacrifice for the next generation? Will you sacrifice for them? will you make a difference? See, the pain of what you're going to go through to make your dreams come true is so much less than the pain you will feel if you don't. Lifelong regret to get to the end of a life and look back on it, and it's a life unlived, a life out of fear, is a tragedy. I said this in last week's show, but I want to reiterate this to you.

When you get to the end of your life, you will not regret the things you tried. and failed that. You're going to regret the things that you didn't try. And I don't even think it's that. I think you regret that you didn't have more faith, more gratitude, and more belief. At some point in your life, you have to decide that you're going to be your own biggest fan, your own biggest supporter, that you're going to talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend, that you're going to believe in yourself like you would believe in your children.

because you only have one you. You were born with a responsibility to start with to take care of, one human being. You, you're the person you were born to take care of. In fact, you really can't care in your full capacity for other people if you don't care for yourself. Do you hear me? You can't transfer to someone that which you are not really experiencing. You really can't.

You can't transfer a little bit, but you can't give them all of it. your jobs to take care of you. Yes, you. You were given you to take care of, to believe in, to nurture, to grow, to push, to love, to challenge, to celebrate, to laugh with, to comfort. If you don't give that to you and you only get that through God, you can't really give it to other people in the way that you should. I'm really emotional the last few weeks about the podcast we're doing because of all the messages I get from so many of you. So many of you live with an enemy within you. You've taken the mistakes of your past and you use them as weapons against yourself.

You're constantly hitting yourself over the head with this mistake or that setback or this thing. And you keep carrying these bricks with you through your life. It's almost like you want to keep reminding you. of your own weaknesses, your own sins, your own mistakes. And the adversary's got you convinced that means you're not going to win. And the truth of the matter is God wants to use these mistakes, these setbacks, these things you're ashamed of, these average ordinary things, these times you felt invisible in your life.

He wants to use those somehow in the service of other people, but he can only do that if you overcome it. But when you get to the other side of it, now there's a story. Now there's a message. Your mess has a message. Your test has a testimony. Maybe you heard that before. Why don't you live it? You were born to do something great with your life. Do not end this thing by not finding out who the heck you are. What the heck you're capable of. Today is a blessing. You are a blessing. And next week I'm going to come back. I'm going to be heavy tactics and strategies for you on literally how to build that. But for this week, will you please step back and have some perspective on how blessed you are, how far you've come, how much you've overcome? And that ought to give you some idea of where you're going. Me you're not able to see it. You might know exactly what it's going to look like or what it's going to feel like, but he's rebuilding you. This storm is not going to destroy you. In fact, eventually at one point,

the wind's going to be at your back and you better be in full speed when it happens. Because once that winds at your back and you start knocking down barriers and you start overcoming things and you start getting momentum again in your life. I promise you. It's going to change other people's lives because you went through what you're going through right now. And when you get to that end of your life, there was this great study recently that said the top five regrets of the dying is the whole reason I did today's show. Let me tell you what they are. Big survey that they just did. Number one, regretted the dying, they said, I wish I would have stayed in touch more with my friends. I said maybe 500 times on the show that people matter and things don't, but we get so caught up

in the pursuit of things, so busy in our lives. But I can tell you the biggest regrets of the dying, one of the five, is they wish they would have stayed in touch more with their friends. Number two thing they regret in no order. I wish I would have expressed how I really felt. more often. So many people go through their entire lives and don't express how they really feel. The love they feel for somebody, how they're really feeling inside about themselves, how they feel about the people that they work with. They feel like they're going to see them forever so they don't need to express that. Maybe they don't express when they don't want to do something, but they do it anyway. They agree to go to things and participate in things they don't want to

do, but they're afraid to express themselves and say, no, I don't really want to, want to do that. Maybe they participated in so much gossip in their lives. They wish they would have just expressed. This makes me uncomfortable. I don't like this. They spent time with people they didn't really want to spend time with. They did not tell the people that they loved often enough how much they loved them and what they loved about them. Number three is, I wish I would have lived a life more true to myself and not lived by the expectations of others. So many people live a life and a script, somebody else handed them. Maybe they didn't live by the virtues and morals that they wanted to live by.

Maybe they didn't say no enough. Maybe they didn't express what their dreams and visions and goals were. You imagine getting to the end of your life in one of the three biggest regrets of the five. I didn't live a life on my own terms. I let the expectations of other people guide me. By the way, expectations are limiting beliefs. the dream stealers of life, the people we held on to in our lives way too long that no longer fulfilled us, no longer brought us joy and bliss and laughter and love and happiness, the places

we didn't go because our spouse didn't want to go and see it, or things we wanted to do and achieve and try that we never did because the expectations of other people were we weren't good enough or it wasn't going to work out or they projected their own fears and limiting beliefs onto us. But at the end of life, people wish they stayed in touch with their friends more. They wish they would have expressed themselves and how they really felt. They wish they would have lived a life on their own terms and not on the expectations of others. Number four, I wish I would have let myself be happier. I think it's so fascinating how that was worded, let myself, because that's really what it is.

Happiness is already within us at any given time. We can tap into it any time I want. They didn't say, I just wish I was happier. It's not when someone says at the end of their life. They say, I wish I would have let myself be happier. Just let myself. Because it's always there. It lives within us.

It's part of who we are. But we allow all these other things to blunt it and block it, stress, worry, depression, fear, anxiety, stuff. Instead of just letting happiness be in our lives. At the end of your life, when you've got very few hours, hours left, days left. Don't regret that you didn't stay in contact with your friends more. People matter, things don't. Don't ever get out of this life without expressing how you really feel.

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Built for you. We can get really caught up in doing instead of being. And there's a nuance to life of both. I remember when my uncle Mike passed away. He was very young. He was 48 years old. And someone got up. It was his son at the funeral.

I was still pretty young myself. And my cousin said, and he loved his dad. His dad was a very hard worker. And he said, I think daddy worked himself right into heaven. I've never forgotten that. And that was a badge of honor that he had worked so hard. and you don't want to just work all your life. Experience life.

Work is one of the great things in my life. It's service. It's an expression of who I am. It's my art form. But the same time is there's a life away from work. And I think you know that as well. Those are the five regrets of the dying. Now, here's the cool part.

At the end of your life, I want to have, you have, the five things you're most grateful for. You're most proud of. The moments, the memories, the contribution, the people, the difference you made, the things you saw and felt and experienced. We don't have to get to the end of our lives with five regrets. We can get to the end of our lives with five things we're most proud of. Five things we want to honor.

Five things we want to pass on to the next generation. Five things we want to celebrate. And that's what I want at the end of my life. life and it's what I want for you at the end of your life and hopefully today's show helped you get there. Very short intermission here folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. Welcome back to Max out with Ed Milette. To my left here is Dave Meltzer. Welcome, brother. I talk about brother. You are a brother from another mother. I can't believe the similarities. I hope it's interesting to other people.

I know. We think it's interesting, but hopefully, hopefully it's interesting for all of you. Dave's a CEO of Sports One marketing. He's also one of the great philanthropists in the country and he's an interesting man. And that's why this conversation today I think can alter your life too because he's a sports agent, but he also does all these other things. He's been successful in the real estate space and the technology space. He's now in sort of the life strategy and coaching space as well. But when I first started to read about you, I thought, I'm going to meet this sports agent guy. He's going to be intense. He's going to be kind of a grinder, you know. And I found out it was almost like I'm meeting the Wayne Dyer of sports agents. You know, I love that.

Very Zen, very energy-based guy like I am. And so we share a whole lot in common. So today's conversation, I think you're going to love everybody. So people that are watching this, we all have a lot of friends who are thinkers, meditators, prayers, and they don't ever produce results, right? And I think the reason for that is because there's the workers, like, you know, I'll work everybody, which I subscribe to. I know you do too.

But having said that, I so agree with getting aligned first. But I think a lot of people, yeah, that's puffery, because a lot of people, But this is important for you to know. A lot of these folks who kind of get aligned also leave out part B. Would you agree with that? Which is the work part. I have the same. And it almost short changes the message.

Yeah, I have the same, right? You're not going to ever find me sitting at home high on my mom's couch trying to manifest a Ferrari. Right, exactly. That's not going to happen. Right. That's not going to happen. Yes. What I did learn is I will sit for 10 to 20 minutes and manifest and then go out very clear, balanced and focused on what I want,

which gives me confidence, which opens me up to receive. You just literally describe what I do. I mean, I think we do almost the exact same thing. The other thing we're both big into, I want to go through a couple like stuff. Yeah. We're both big into gratitude and the power of gratitude and how it can impact the rest of your life. Can you speak to that a little bit about how gratitude plays into your whole life? It is the cornerstone of my life.

You too. It gives me perspective. And I try to give gratitude to everything and everyone. And when I tell you, like I'm the guy who stops and it's not about, having money or not, I stop and give people who need it what they need out of gratitude. It could be time. It could be a compliment. Out of gratitude, though. And I open a door out of gratitude.

And I look at everything I have and I'm constantly fighting myself to make sure when things don't seem as if I should be grateful, it freaks people out. But these two words, when someone's attacking you, realize that the mathematics of the universe, If someone's attacking you, if all you hold is gratitude, they can't attack you anymore. You can't allow them to take your joy. They can, the energy, an attack has to have attacking energy. It'll dissipate when you have gratitude. Wow. If someone attacks you and you say thank you.

Yeah. And I really appreciate that. It takes all the energy out of the attack. So true. I had a good friend that was having difficulty with another friend and I ended up being on his podcast because entrepreneur wanted me to do it. Okay. And he started attacking me. On the show.

No, called me right after. Personal attack to him. Disrespectful, you know, the ego. Okay, the ego. Need to be offended. And all I could say was, you know what, I did not even think about that. Thank you. Thank you for teaching me how to be a better friend.

And I'm sure our relationship being that were so close and it did hurt your feelings will definitely survive this. But the old Dave Meltzer. We're going right back at him. Or preach at him. And then I would have created this and lost a friend. Wow. powerful. It's like an almost energetic judo or Tai Chi, right? No, it is. Go away. Thank you. That is wonderful, man. I need to hear that, by the way. That's one for me. Because I'm a big gratitude guy, but not to that extent.

Yeah. That's a place I can learn it. You know, I think sometimes I, that's good for me. I bet it's good for a lot of you that's too. It's funny because I inspire and teach a lot of kids. Yeah. And so if you go against gratitude, forgiveness, accountability, or effective communication, I use the Lombardi. It's in my system because I learn that way. kind of Lombardi football coach. And so now I'm trying to figure out how do you take a grateful approach for someone not learning gratitude? Thank you so much for not listening to me about. Thank you. It's not quite working yet.

But the principle applies, and you're absolutely right because there's no, what I always do when I hear a theory. This is what I do when you should be listening to this podcast, everybody. I hear a theory and I put it through different situations that are real world. It does it apply. What you just said applies. There's not going to be a scenario where it doesn't apply.

That's how powerful it is. It is powerful. It's super powerful. I'm curious. Talk about kids. I read a little bit about you. You do a lot of work with kids. You alluded to that.

And also in kind of nonprofit, charitable work you do too. What is the organization you're involved with that helps with kids? Yeah, so I'm the chairman of the Unstoppable Foundation. That's what it is. Unstoppable. With Cynthia Cursey founded 10 years ago on her 50th birthday. Okay. And took money instead of gifts to help kids in Africa and Kenya.

So not only kids, but communities with water, education, financial, literacy, medical care. And it's evolved. 5,000 people have been impacted. And so now these girls who never would have been educated, mostly girls that never would have been educated, are graduating college. That's wonderful. So I turned 50 a month and a half ago.

Happy birthday, and I'm doing 50 birthday parties. I saw this. And for the 50, I'm going to raise over a million, notice no limitation, over a million as fast as I can in these 50 parties to build an empowerment and leadership center

to take all these people we impacted and teach them how to empower others. Wow, that's wonderful. That scales. That is scaling. One thing people ask me, because I do, Warren Moon is my business partner, we have Crescent Moon Foundation. We've given hundreds of scholarships to kids to go to college, which is still important. Me here in America, our high schools.

They'll ask me, Dave, there's a lot to do in America. Why are you doing this in Africa? Watching what's going on in the world that if we can stabilize some of these other places, it only benefits all of us. That's wonderful work, brother. So it's really fun. What I want you all know about him that's really interesting because you're going to learn this less in your business too. These principles, remember, this is a guy who attracts to him some of the

top athletes in the world that he represents, right? And other agents, we talk about, let's negotiate the shoe contract, right? Let's get the percentage done. Let's get your guaranteed this. And I know that's part of what you do. But he takes this very unique approach, right? And the approach is almost, you begin to talk to the athletes about their giving first and what they could do with their giving and their time. Speak to that for a second, which makes you so unique, this is what I want you here, so unique in the space you're in, because a sports world can be very cutthroat, dollar now short term short term short term you run a model that's different than that and a message and again I apply it through anything these same principles

apply if you want a dry cleaners if you want a gym if you have a you know you run a life insurance business whatever the heck your business is this principle he's about to share with you would distinguish you make you happier and probably grow your business as a byproduct it's not the reason to do it but it as a byproduct would grow your business so talk about that and to give credit I learned it from Lee Steinberg okay Berkeley guy, Jerry McGuire, co-produced with Cameron Crow, the famous, and he taught me, I said, why do you require every one of our athletes to have a foundation? He said for two

reason. One, I know it's right. And the truth vibrates the fastest. He didn't put in those words, but that's what he was saying. And then he said, but beyond that, he goes, I started learning that by giving back, I actually qualified the people I surrounded myself with. If an athlete wasn't willing to give back, I was only going to have problems later on. And so throughout my whole career since I've been working with Lee, whether it's athletes, companies, media, or even interviews, I only do people that work with people that will give back. Every project I have has to have a charitable component or cause to it. Every single one. I love that. Or we won't take it. And it just has really increased a collective belief or a vibration for our entire community,

not just our business. Don't you think it's important? I heard you talk about this and we both said this separate of each other. But the reason there's also power to that, by the way, it's wonderful seeds you're sewing, right? The other part of it is, like, I think it's important in business that you show up different than people expect you to. Yeah.

You know, I've seen you talk about, I talk about that all the time too. Like, in my case, you know, if I've got some big arms and I got tattoos on there, and I show up as this guy that's talking about loving people and blissful dissatisfaction

and making a difference with like, wait a minute, I thought you're going to talk about smashing people in the face, you know? Yeah. I think that's been an advantage of mine that maybe I'm not as I appear, right?

And is that true also? Would you give that advice to somebody in business or even it's in life? Absolutely. You have to take advantage. And I even take charity. And my motto is make a lot of money, help a lot of people, and have a lot of fun. And a lot of people ask me, why do you say make a lot of money, Dave? You're this philanthropic. I mean, pissed. But I do pimped out a lot of athletes and celebrities for money. So I call myself a philanthropic. But why do you do that? I said, because literally, if you don't have, you can't give. I say that about forgiveness. If you don't forgive yourself, who can you ever forgive? That's right, baby. And so I say to everyone, make money for yourself first. You'll figure out where to put it.

Yep. You're not, my mom is a great catalyst. Siblings did extremely well. Sure. But my mom has to still be supported by her kids today. It takes away from her own pride. There you go. Of course.

Right? And because you never cared about making money herself. Yes. And I really believe it's really important if you have the skills and knowledge and desire that you should make as much money as you can. Yes. And take care of everyone around you. I believe that so much.

And the point is, too, is that what Dave's sharing with you is you can't transfer to somebody that which you're not experiencing yourself. You can't give me love if you don't feel it. You can't give me gratitude. You can't give me energy. You can't give me confidence. You can't give me money. You can't give me these things if you're not experiencing them yourself. So that was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Milette show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. Welcome back to Max out with Ed Milet. This man to my left, I think is one of the most inspiring. people on planet Earth today. Thank you. And an unbelievable public speaker for the record that you're gonna hear about in a minute. But this is Nick Sanitasaso. And as you can tell, Nick and I have been friends now for a while.

But Nick has a story to tell, as you can tell, it's probably different than anyone you've ever heard before. And so I'm excited to have you here today, brother. I'm grateful for the opportunity, brother. You know how much I've wanted you here. And we've been connecting through social media for a while. And I consider you a friend. I appreciate that.

And I'm so excited that I'm gonna have help even get you further exposure to the world. I'm excited. I'm excited. I am too, brother. And so they need to know more about you. So I'm curious. You did sort of get into this sort of, you know, you said those are the hardest time of your life was middle school and high school, at least the beginning of high school. Did you kind of go into a little bit of a depression, sort of down on yourself? And then if you did, how'd you get out of it? Yeah. So middle school, high school, I was at an all-time low for me, you know, and my big question was why. You know, I realized I was different and I realized, you know, some of the negativity of kids staring at

I mean, I was just like, why? You know, there's billions of people. Why do I have to be on this earth with no legs and one arm? These kids don't know what I'm going through. Like, why? And I was pissed off. You know, the universe, God, whatever may be, I was just pissed off that I was in a situation. And when I got to high school, I realized, you know, that I was in the slump.

And I realized that, you know, confidence is a skill. It's not just something that you wake up with. And that's what I thought. When I thought in middle school in high school, I was like, well, I guess I'm just not born of confidence. You know, I thought you either had it or you didn't. But to show people that's a skill and you gradually work on it. it so I needed to work on myself and I'm lucky that I realize that the only person that's going to make a drastic change in your life, you know, physically, mentally, emotionally,

spiritually like you were talking about is you. You know, you have to take control of yourself and I realized I was like, man, like one choice, you have one choice. I can either look at all the negative I have in my life and focus on that, which won't propel me, it will dig me into a hole or I can focus on all the good and all I'm capable of doing and that will elevate me. So when I was freshman year, it was funny, my best friend, we're still best friends to this day and all my wrestler best friends are, all right, you know, and I'm, you

you know, we're still best friends, but he was a bowler. And in my high school, you know, I was like, man, if I could be part of a team, you know, just like a group, something, a support system, I'll feel better about myself. I'll be labeled as, you know, an athlete, if it's a bowler, whatever it may be. You know, I'm an athlete, next to an athlete. So I, that fired me up. So I remember our varsity team was super good and our JV bowling team was undefeated until I joined the team. And I joined the JV team.

And I remember, dude, I totally remember, they didn't even have the correct like jersey for me. I had an older jersey. So like, it's me. And, like, people are like, I was this kid going a bowl. And I was just, like, throwing a ball down the lane. And I realized that I wanted much more, that it just, it wasn't challenging me enough. And I wanted something more physical. And so I got my, I got into my sophomore year and all my best friends. So that best friend wrestled his younger years and, like, Matt Rats when he was younger. And so sophomore year, they all were on the wrestling team. They all were, like, all stud wrestlers from my high school. My older brother was a wrestler for that same high school, but I never got to go to high school with him. So, like, the

The coaches knew me. They knew your family. And so I was like, man, I thought wrestlers were the coolest thing. You know, the hardest physical sport, like physically and mentally, I want to be a wrestler. So at the time, this arm was about five inches longer than it is now. And my bone was growing faster than my skin. So it was like your finger, but super pointy. So I couldn't really touch it on things.

It was super sensitive. And painful, too, right? Yeah. So I used to tuck it because if I would have hit my arm hard enough, my bone when it came through. That's how, like, yeah, sorry. But that's how, like, you know, light it is. And so I, I made. made that decision to myself, I said, if I could become a wrestler, you know, if I could be with my friends,

just get after it in the room, you know, it would make me feel so much better about myself and just lift me up. And so I came home one day and I said, mom and dad, I want to be a wrestler. And I remember I waited for my dad to be home. Yeah. And my parents supported me in everything and anything throughout my life, you know, as long as you're happy, you know, we want you to do it. But this was a little bit different. I said, mom and dad, I want to be a wrestler. My mom's like, oh my God, Nick, you know, wrestling is the most physical sport.

if you're out there, you hit your arm. And I was like, I was a 17, 18 year old kid. I looked at him, I said, can we cut it off? Oh my gosh, bro. And they were like, what? And I'm like, can we take care of this? Like, it's not helping. And, you know, it took me a couple hours,

but I persuaded my parents to schedule an amputation. So we found, like, the best doctor, and they basically lasered five inches of my arm off and did a skin graft. So they pulled extra skin and pulled it over my bone so I'd have, you know, padding. And I always tell people, people, the only little mountain, the only little challenge that I saw that was stopping me

from wrestling was the fact that my arm hurt. It wasn't the fact that I was born with no legs of my arm because I knew, I knew that my hard work and dedication, if I worked harder than the able body, it would make up for my lack of limbs. If I put the work and, you know, work my butt off that I would, this wouldn't matter, you know, it wouldn't matter. So I made that decision. And so my sophomore year, I always say I was the happiest kid to cut his arm off. Like I was just... Come on, bro. Yeah, so we amputated my arm and my soft. and remember I love food, we're Italian, and I missed Halloween that year because I was, I was in a cast.

I had like, you know, 17 stitches in my arm. And I remember going back to school and I was so happy. Like I said, happiest kid just cut his arm off. And people like, dude, what did you just do? Yeah. And I'm like, oh, I amputated my arm. I'm going to be a wrestler. And it was the same old, it was the same cycle. It was people, dude, you can't wrestle. You know, it was, dude, how are you going to be a wrestler? You have no legs of one arm. Like, dude, let's be real. Right. You know, the outside noise. The naysayers. And I looked, I said, you're right. I'm not going to to become a wrestler. I'm going to become a varsity wrestler. And, you know, I think from the earliest of ages, from, you know, my parents telling me what the doctors told me and all this, I always carried a little bit of chip on my shoulder to show people what I'm truly capable of doing.

Bro, can we just stop for a second here? We can stop. To go wrestle. So there's all these, by the way, a lot of you are parents or you're a young athlete watching this, you go, man, I'm wrestling. I'm so hard to cut weight. Or I got to go to the gym or, man, I got to miss my party on the weekend and go to practice. This guy cut his arm. him off to go wrestle, right? And by the way, that's going into it knowing I don't actually have every other thing going for me to go dominate in the sport. It's actually after bowling, which by the way, I would love to see you bowl. That to me is like the coolest visual in the world. But the fact that you go for bowling just to belong to a team, they're like, you know what,

screw it, I'm going to a next standard, a next level, I want to go wrestle. Then to have your parents kind of still back it, though, man, and do you go to that extreme? Like, what are you willing to do to chase your dream? This guy's willing to cut his arm off, right? Part of it. I mean, what are you willing to do to chase your dream? What's the sacrifice you're willing to make? And how's it compared to that, right? And with no guarantee he makes a team.

And then to up the end, you're right, I'm not going to wrestle. I'm going to varsity wrestle. I don't know this, by the way. Did that actually happen? So my junior year, I remember getting in the room and I said to my buddies, because most of my buddies, they're all my buddies now, you know, and I was like, beat me up. I said, beat me up, slam my face in the mat

as hard as you can, you know, do whatever you need to do, Because if you hold back on me, I'm not gonna know how to become the best wrestler so I could possibly be. And that's the same thing for my parents. If my parents held back and gave me everything, you know, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have the mindset I have. I wouldn't be the man I am today if people held back on me. So that was my first thing, my message to everyone, yo, beat me up. Like don't feel bad.

Like, I'm here. I'm here for me. Like beat me up. So my junior year, what I was doing was basically just trying to figure out where my strengths were, like what I was good at. And with wrestling, if you go to your back, if you both your shoulder blades touch, It's a pin at six points and that's the most amount of points you can give up. So I knew that, you know, I needed to work on staying off my back. You know, even if I couldn't win, if they could tech fall me and get, you know, a lesser amount of points at a pin, I'm winning.

So my junior year, I was like, like I said, I was like 1 in 20. But my coach threw me out for a forfeit win. To get my varsity jacket. And I came off, I was like, I don't want it. You know, I never even got my varsity jacket. I never got it. And I, because to me, I didn't earn it. you know, it was given to me.

And I didn't want to wear something that, you know, it was just given to me. So my junior year, got my butt kicked, big learning experience. In between the summer of junior year and senior year, I kind of got in the weight room a little bit, not too much. But my senior year, I came out as Central Regional's 106-pound varsity wrestler from my high school. Come on, dude.

Come on, come on. And, you know, like I said, we talk about moments of confirmation, moments of reassurance. It was just like, this is what you're, you know, regardless of, you know, how I got to 106-pound varsity wrestler, it was, you know, I stuck through the journey and I made it. So at that point, I'm still trying to find my why. You know, Nick's confidence is, you know, I got a little bit, you know, I'm part of the wrestling, I'm hanging with the wrestlers, I'm a senior

wrestler, you know, I'm a varsity wrestler, but I would go out and there would be gymnasiums pack to watch me wrestle. There would be standing ovations when I lost, and I was, I hated it. I was like, why are you clapping for me if I just got my butt kicked? You know, I did give it my all, you know, I always gave it my all, but why are you clapping for me? You're not supposed to applaud losing I'm a competitor and I came off the mat one day and this this lady came up to me and she was crying and I'm like oh my god you know what did I do wrong yeah and she said Nick I want to thank you I said for what you know 17 age old 18 year old kid what and she said my son or daughter never wanted to do a sport my son or daughter never wanted to do an

extracurricular activity they want to try all these things they saw you on the mat and they're like oh my god I want to try this mom I want to try that and that was my quantum moment of I was just trying to live my life to the fullest I was trying to find my purpose and I was motivating and passively I was motivating and changing lives passively on the sideline yeah imagine how many people I could change for the better how many perspectives I can change for the better and motivate people if I focus my energy and helping people and that's when I realized that I boom here's your Nick here's your why Nick you are an example yeah you are an example you

know like you you you accepted this life before you even were in here and you are here to be an example for those that think they don't can't a lantern a lantern for others to spread light dude you are that and I told everybody when we started you would inspire. I'm trying right now not to tackle you myself because I'm so freaking fired up and I'm afraid you might rustle me back to the ground. I don't wanna be pinned.

But I'll be honest with you brother, like there's so much here, usually in interviews I wanna jump in and add but this is too good and so. Thank you. I do wanna say one thing to you, that part about telling the guys to beat you up is such a great lesson for everybody to be watching this

because you wanted to go through the real deal. And I'm thinking about, I'm thinking about all the things that people use to, they use as an excuse to stop. They uses an excuse to hold back, right? And you've never done that before. And it's sort of just crazy to me. And one of the things I found out about you,

obviously you're a competitor, right? And but you're also real grateful. And I think that would surprise a lot of people that someone who got a little bit bullied in teased as a young guy, nothing came out perfect. Nothing's easy for you, right? But yet you're really a grateful. do. Talk about how important gratitude is for you in addition to all of this intense competition

you've been through. How important is gratitude? I feel like gratitude. If a person can just live in a state of gratitude, it could change their whole entire life. And I can make this quick and simple and easy for everyone to comprehend. Me, a man with no legs in one arm. There are millions of people as we sit in this couch that would switch places with me in an instant because they just don't have it like me. There are kids and adults that are confined in wheelchair beds. There are kids and adults that are paralyzed in wheelchairs that look outside and say, man, I wish I could just go outside and breathe the fresh air. I wish I could just listen to the birds. I wish I could get out of this hospital bed. Like it gives me chills. That's all the motivation I need because I know

that my situation isn't bad. And the sad thing is that there's people in full bodies that say, oh man, his life's bad. No, it's not. You know, the biggest disability is a bad mindset. It's not this. It is not this. It's people don't have their mind right, Ed. It's people are just like, oh my god I can't do this I can't do that no you you can you're truly capable of anything you put limits on yourself the only limits you have are the ones you put on yourself so to to go back to gratitude like I'm start being grateful for that you woke up today you know start being grateful that you were in a bed there's people sleeping you can go outside there's people sleeping on the sidewalk like how can you not be grateful you know

so living in a state of gratitude and and waking up and starting your day off of gratitude you know listening five things you're grateful for thinking about five things you're grateful for, you'll notice that your mind gets in a rhythm and at first it may be big things like, oh, my family, my house, whatever it may be, but then your mind will get in the rhythm and start thinking about the little things. The little things you're grateful for like, man, I got good health or man, I got food in the refrigerator or, you know, I got friends, you know, the little things, your mind starts to just become grateful for the things around you and you realize that the things you complain about on a day-to-day basis and the grand seem

of life, they're not problems. We don't have problems. Like, man, you know, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I do, but you live it. And I think there's something powerful about people who are authentic who actually walk the walk, that do the things they say they're going to do, which is what you do. And like, you're walking the walk isn't the same as other people because you have to walk differently. Are there days you're down? Are there days you're like, hey, man, even today, are there days now this, look, you're accomplished.

You're now a sought after speaker, right? you inspire people like me who, it ain't easy to always inspire me, right? Like there's gotta be something special about someone to inspire me, like sitting here with you, I can feel my emotions, I'm trying to hold them, right? Like my intensity, my passion, my tears for some reason, like I'm holding it in because I wanna have a good interview

with you, right? But you induce that in people, you're special. But are there days you're down? Absolutely, and I always tell people, I'm not the energizer bunny all the time. You know, I do have those low days, yeah. Yeah, and I actually had a low day. I'll be honest, I had a low day.

It was my birthday, the May 20th. And that weekend, we went to Miami, and I had a low day because, you know, I went out in public and just trying to, you know, mingle and talk to girls, right? And maybe the one interaction when a girl didn't go the way I wanted to. And all these thoughts going in my head, oh, my God, she thinks you're disgusting. It's because you have no legs of one arm. And, you know, these are the things that you go through, those moments of, like, down. and I was down. Like those guys, they were like, do you want to go out?

And I'm like, no, like, I'm good. Dude, it's your birthday weekend. No, I'm good. Because like one moment, it's important to know that one moment can induce those toxic thoughts in your head. But the important thing about that is when I'm in those low moments, and this is for everyone needs to do this. When you're in those low moments, embrace it. What are you feeling? How are you breathing?

How do you feel and realize that this is not a state I want to be in? So embrace that low time. I'm like, oh my God, I feel like, I feel like poop. You know, I don't feel good. that this is my low state, you know, these are all the things that I don't wanna go through and the thoughts that I don't wanna think about. And that's the thing, you know, embrace that time,

embrace that state and realize that, oh my God, I don't wanna feel like this, and then get out of it. And the way to get out of it is start thinking positive affirmations, you know, start thinking about, because your mind can only think about one thought. So if you're thinking about something negative, you know, change that thought.

So I start to think to myself, I am beautiful, I am confident, I am an athlete. I, if that girl doesn't wanna to talk to me that it's an organic filter and that's the type of people that I don't want to be around. Nick, Nick, it was helping you. She's not the girl you want to be around. She's looking at you for this. Right. You know, so that's the one of the things that helped me so much because I'm not going to lie, girls was a, it's still, still tough part for me, you know, and you know, especially as a 22 year old guy, you know, it's a hard, it's a low point for me, but to realize that

me being in the situation, it, like we said about the tribes, it organically attracts the right people you want to be with. So if a girl is going to not talk to me or, you know, just not even respect me for my lack of limbs, okay, fine, like take a hike, you know, because you are not the person that I want to be around. Bro, remind yourself of that, please, because that's, shoot, this is good. Like, it's so true because there's all guys 22 years old or like have these deficient. And then by the way, why does she like, is she like you, just because you're good looking? That's the reverse. Is she like you, just because you got a couple bucks? Is she like you just because you're an athlete? And then you end up, it's an odd, just a

filter for you that's actually to your benefit. Absolutely. It is because eventually you're gonna find a woman who loves you for you and as you're blowing up like you are now, she's actually love you for you where it's like if you do have money, if you are successful, if you are like in someone's mind's perfect looking or whatever, right?

Like you'll never know if they love the you that's you. So you actually have this, it's bizarre that you're right about that and I want to acknowledge that you're right about that and thank you for being honest about it too. Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube. or follow the show on Apple or Spotify.

We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Now on with the show. Welcome back, everybody. My guest today played 12 years in the major leagues. Let me just tell you something. He could flat mash. This dude could hit.

I used to watch him going, that's the natural. He should call him the natural. But then the more I got to know his story, turns out it wasn't natural, that he worked really hard to build this incredible swing, three-time All-Star, and I'm just telling you guys, any of you that know baseball, this dude could flat out hit. But today we're going to talk about, you know, you got someone here that played in the big

leagues and the major leagues that long. There's a mental aspect to what they did and how they live and what they do now that got them there. So we're going to talk about peak performance today and overcoming adversity, all kinds of incredible stuff with Sean Casey Casey. Welcome to the show, brother. And thanks for having me on. He was so fired up to be here, brother.

You came all the way in. We flew from Pennsylvania to be here today. So thank you for being here. I know you got a lot of family stuff going right now. Dude, I just wanted to say, too, like, before we get going, like listening to your podcast, dude, like, who's the guy? Who's the voice of like, welcome to Ed Mila? Who is that guy? The guy that does that he introduces your show.

He used to do. It's incredible. Yeah, he used to do something for the NFL, and I heard his voice. This was way back in the day. It's so funny. Seven years ago, I'm like, I told my team, I go, I don't know who that dude is. I want that voice saying my name. And what's funny about that thing is, too, is that even to this day, he still can't say my.

correctly it's welcome to the Ed Milet show he still doesn't even say my name right but his voice is so good I'm like okay he can just say my he says my name wrong on my own show but he says it was such a great voice I'm like let's just leave it every time he does the takes I'm like can you get him to say my let like no it's my let whatever anyway this conversation I knew was going to be special but like I didn't know it was going to go to this depth and you know you are he is working for the MLB network he's great on there I've watched him on there for you know quite a while now. But now you're starting to do this thing about thinking like a pro

you're taking these things and you said this thing it took me back. You said it to Jim and I like replayed it and then I sent it to my son and then I sent it to my daughter and it's this good. So I want you to share it with my audience about the gaps and it was so good that I've actually I'm not going to send it to some of the athletes I work with too. So talk about that. It's because it's a baseball analogy

but it's a life analogy that's huge. Yeah. Well you know I was You know, I want to get in, or not want to get in. I'm into coaching. I coach, you know, obviously college athletes, high school, some pro players and all that stuff. But, you know, this program that I'm developed, it's called the powers in the gaps. And I just wanted to relate it to baseball because when you think of baseball, and you know, you know as well as I do. You want to be one of the best players in the game? You play in the gaps.

That's right. You play in the gaps. You've got to shoot the gaps to be one of the best power hitters. You got to hit the ball out in the gaps to be one of the best in the game at the end of the day, right? your center fielders, your right, they got to fly into the gaps to make a play, right? And so I look at that, like, hey, the power's into gaps in life, too. That's why I love about baseball.

It mirrors life. Yes. Like, baseball's not easy. Hey, life's not easy, too. It wasn't meant to be. Baseball wasn't meant to be either. Life's not meant to be easy. Like, none of us are exonerated from the uncertainty,

the hard work, right? And the struggles of life. And the struggles of baseball, right? At the end of the day. So the power's into gaps, and I thought about what is it, man. And so the G of the gaps is that gratitude, man. Are we showing up every day? Are we connecting to what this is all about?

Are we connecting to the gratitude of like when you wake up in the morning, are you saying, hey, thank you. Oh, man. I got an, and I do this. I say this, I say this to my kids all the time. If they listen to them, they're probably going to listen to this podcast. And they're like, oh, here goes dad, jumping off. Every morning I say to my kids, like my two daughters are still home, Carly and Julian at her home.

But my sons are in college and I still tell him. And I say, hey, man, the chances of you being. here of a human being or one or four hundred trillion, right? And you know that too. You win the life lottery every day. Like, right? And so like, and I think of generational gratitude, right? I think of this. Like, so your parents had to meet, then your grandparents had to meet.

And then if I go back to my Irish heritage in County Cork, Ireland, the potato famine came, some more cases that decided to have kids. And if you go back to generations, it's like, it's so ridiculous. Like a 10th generation grandparent, 4,000 of those people had to get together. Fred, my let to be here. It's crazy. Right? It's incredible.

So however awesome you think you are, an awesome thing you think are, yeah, you are. And I want to tell people that. I want to be like, dude, you're a walking lottery ticket, bro. Why don't you start living like it? Right? Why don't you start living like it? And that's like that's that gratitude, right? Like, oh yeah, I got up.

Boom, I hit the thing. Hey, thank you. Yeah. For the life force of my heart's going to pump today 100,000 times. I have no idea how that's happening. It's the ultimate gift. I'm going to breathe 25,000 times today. How is that happening, Ed?

I got 50 trillion cells digested my food. What? Yes. I'm a walking miracle. And so with you. It's only one Ed and my let, man. There's eight billion dudes out there and women. There's only one Ed by Lett.

There's only one shot Kicks. And for anyone else out there, guess what? If you think life is tough and is and that, why don't you change it? Why don't you change the narrative? You start to look and you go, no, no, no, no. The narrative really is, you're one of a kind, brother.

You're one of a kind. And we all started to think like that. I don't know. I think the world will be a different place. That's how I think. So when I say the powers in the gaps, it's in the gratitude, right? It's in the A, the accountability for who you are of how you think, of what narrows you tell your stuff, or what are your stories. It's also in the perspective that you take, in the P perspective, in your process.

And the, and the S of the gaps is, it's also in the service. If you want to connect to this world and connect to people, hey, man, serve someone, serve somebody. How many times does somebody ask you for a direction you go, hey, beat it, dude. If somebody comes up, you ask you to the rest, you go, hey man, two blocks down here. If you're in Pittsburgh, you're on the street names.

You're like two blocks down here, down on the street name. You make a left at the 7-Eleven buff. Dude, people want to help. People want to. So find people to serve. You don't necessarily have to go to a soup kitchen or something. Serve your kids. Serve your dad if you have to when he's struggling or your mom.

Like you're doing. Yeah, serve people that are in the grocery store. Say hi. You know what I mean? because they're one because they're they're they're one of a kind too yeah bro the gaps that fires me up i don't know that i've ever felt that much energy for someone who's done this for no but i love it because like i also think a lot of things in life is in our energy it's actually how you feel people you're always making people feel something right it blows my mind how few human beings

are intentional about that thing like you're always making another person feel something so why not be intentional about what it is by the way you are always you are always you're feeling something take some control over that right take some control over your own energy energy is influence energy because people respond to what they feel way more than the actual words you say like this thing today people are going to go that was unbelievable I get I almost drove off the road they were at level six on the tunnel they're at 10 and when it's done they'll be two or three they're going to remember the gaps they're going to remember your high school story but the end they're remember how they felt how you made them feel that's how when you think about someone you love you

can't describe like they're smart they're sick no it's how they make you feel right so it's the how you feel part of your life like that's what that's one of your magic things man is like anytime i've listened to you it's why i want people to follow you too makes what what's instagram is at the mayor's office MLB yeah what by the way what is that's really not easy to remember at the mayor's office MLB major What's the mayor thing? Dude, a guy who's the head coach at Ohio State right now, when I was in the Cape Codley, it's got Bill Moseyellow. You know, he was like, he was a real serious guy at the time.

And I'm like, man, this guy, I don't know if this guy likes me. He's so serious, you know, and I'm, you know, me. And I'm coming in. Hey, what's going on? And he's like, bro, he's like, dude, he's like, you talk to everybody. He goes, it's almost like you're lobbying for votes to be the mayor or something. You know, and it kind of stuck. And I remember Carl Ravits one time, I hit a ball in the gap in 1999.

I, you know, slide in the second base room. He's like, hey, and that's a rocket right there by the, they call him the mayor. Sean Casey. All of a sudden, you know, it just kind of stuck. So it's because I'm talking everybody at first. And dude, I don't know, man, it is. It's that energy. I remember, like, you know, who's your favorite guy?

Lance Perkman would come and talk about energy. He'd come to first. It's a great conversation. But I just, you know, I love people, man. I think that energy is the most important thing. And I, like, when Romie told me to talk with, he goes, dude, you don't believe this guy's energy. You're literally not going to believe this dude's energy. And I had already watched you and knew you, but actually meeting you, it's a fact. And like, I root for you now.

Like, I root for you. That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Ed Milet show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. I'm honored today. Today's special. And I think it's going to be a show that you'll never forget the rest of your life. That's my outcome for today. And I invited two friends of mine, two people that I'm proud to have any association with. And we're going to talk about Afghanistan today. We're going to talk about the Middle East, and even our role in general in the world with the military.

And then we're also going to talk about why you should care. Why does it matter to you? Right? With all the things you have going on in your life, it's easy to disregard these things. And I didn't want this to be one of these CNN, Fox News, you know, filtered type stuff. I didn't want one of these generals on here. I wanted real warriors, people that have been on the ground that have operated that can give you real feedback.

And it's the two people. that I've had on my show that I respect the most of my life. And so I'm honored to have with me today. First, Rob O'Neill. Rob's had over 400 combat missions. It's life that we know of. You know, you've all heard Rob on my show before. He was part of the lone survivor rescue, first guy in the boat in Captain Phillips raid, and is probably best known for killing a guy named Osama bin Laden. And when I talked to Rob, I said, Rob, I got a new friend named Rich Dubinney. He says, that's the finest seal I ever seen. And he said, he says, that's the finest seal I ever seen. served with. So that's pretty high praise. Rich 20 years, SEAL commander, 13 deployments, 11 of them in Afghanistan and Iraq. And he trained a, he was a trainer for a group that we're not supposed to name that rhymes with SEAL Team 6. It rhymes with that. And so he's got some significant experience to share with us too. So gentlemen, thank you for being here today. Honored to have you. Hey, Ed, it's great to be with you. Yeah, great to be here. And let me just give you a call out because, you know,

Rob and I, you know, we lost contact, we lost touch and that happens just because, you know, when you leave the military, it's kind of a natural progression. But, but, you know, you were the reason that Rob and I got to finally talk to each other after I think it was five or six years it had been. So, yeah, it had been a long time.

And Ed actually sent me a message saying that he interviewed you and I said, I wouldn't sure if I didn't mention you by name at the time, Rich, but I had quoted you, I think, two or three times when I was on Ed's podcast the first time. And I, I I didn't know if you were either going to love me or hate me for doing that, like I was stealing your material. But I know that a lot of stuff you said to me when we were working together and we can get into that

has stuck with me, not just in the Navy, not just at CLC6, but afterwards in the 10, 10 whatever years I've been in the private sector. Well, I appreciate that. I do. Yeah, it's good to be with this group. It really is. Thank you. It's certainly, and thank you both for your service. I didn't say that. I wish this was the conversation that's been had in the country the last three weeks and is ongoing. You know, some disagreement. We said we're going to elevate the conversation. real information, real understanding of the dynamics and how things happen and how they work, decisions that are made. And this is how it should be because Rich and Rob don't agree on everything, right? And I don't agree with both of them on everything. And I have no basis for half of the things that I believe. That's why I've been asking these guys, these questions today.

But what, Rob, it made me think about, you know, the other thing with you guys that strikes me is the level of humility is so remarkable for the incredible things you've gone through and protected our country for, protected the world for. And Rob, just for a minute, you've been on the show, we've covered it before, and I went off to go through the whole story. But I just think this stuff just sounds like a video game to even someone like me. Right? These are just like, it's literally a video game. Then there's the real world men and women that are on the ground protecting the world, protecting the country.

And I said this many times, Rob, since I've met you when people asked me about you, I said that whatever you were doing, the day that Osama bin Laden was killed, whatever you were worried about. whatever was your big problem that day. Imagine what O'Neill and his dudes were doing that day, what they would think. The bravery level of you and your partners there. I just want to take you through them. I want them just to feel this for a minute of what's gone on to give you the freedom to argue whether we should have an open-closed border,

to go protest if you want to, to argue over guns, to argue over taxes, to vote in an election. These things matter. And I don't think people understand this. This is not promised forever. and there's guys like Rob and people like Rich that ensure the fact that we get to have these arguments where we live in our freedoms.

So Rob, just the thing that you said to me about the Bin Laden raid, all of it's remarkable. But you said to me, I knew I was dead. I already dead. I was tired of thinking about it. I'm just going over here. Let me just die. I want you all imagine whatever you're worried about today,

whatever you're doing today. So take us just for a minute, if you would, in brief, but just let them feel this for a minute. everything's let up you now know that it's him you now know you're going to get him and you're on the helicopter leave in afghanistan coming over what's going through this is what has happened to protect us everybody well i mean it's it's it's the it's the human element because um there's there's humanity involved with everything i don't care who who it is that you kill someone love them and and you get to a level where you're questioning are we killing each other just because we were born in different parts of the

world had it been different would we have gotten along weird stuff like that but i even had a conversation with my father right before I launched on the bin Laden raid. And he would always say to me, I wish I was going with you when I'd call him prior. And I'd say, yeah, I wish you were too, Dad. But this time he said, I wish I was going with you. And I said, don't worry, Dad. I'm with some really great people. And so I knew I was going there with my brothers.

And we knew that this is what we're here for. This is why we came. This is why we joined. And the acceptance, once the acceptance of giving your life for the greater good, you kind of lose the, you kind of lose the fear a little bit because the realization that I could pull myself off this mission anytime, but I'm letting them down. And if I live to be 90 years old, would I give every single day to have one shot at this? This is why I'm here.

I'm here to fight for the men and women that died in the tower. I'm here for the Americans, the first Americans to fight al-Qaeda on flight 93. And before they fought al-Qaeda, they voted. And that's what America is. That's what the Western ideology is. That's freedom. And there's just so much there. I'm with these guys.

I might die, but I'm safe. I'm good. And just getting there, and it's kind of like taking everything. Because these are real people that can barely afford their mortgages. Now we're in Abbottabad, Pakistan. And I was in the back because of where we ended up. And I'm watching guys, we could blow up at any second, but everyone's doing their jobs. Like we taught each other, slowest smooth, smoothest fast.

But then, like Rich said, shooting someone, but then running across the room to grab a child, because I don't want that kid to be more afraid than he needs to be. And just realizing these are the good guys. And this is what we're fighting for. It's bigger than this. It's not just us here. This is for everyone. And when we got up to the room, I just followed a guy that was braver than me up the

last of the stairs. And he went one way and I went the other. And after I even shot bin Laden, his two-year-old son was standing there. And I remember as a father thinking, this poor kid has got nothing to do with this. So this is real human emotions. And, you know, Bin Laden, you know, millions of people loved him. It's all because of different ideologies. That's all because of different educations.

Was he an asshole yet? Does he deserve to die? Absolutely. Do I feel bad? We didn't take them alive? No. But, you know, this is what we're, this is it. And these are the good guys.

But then when you get away from it, too, you know, this is a really big world, but it's a really small world. And, and, you know, it's like, you know, yes, we need to meet force with force at the point of origin. And there needs to be people there willing to do it. But, you know, there's a, there just, there seems to me to be a bigger, a bigger picture than that. And we mentioned people that have never been there and play the video games. Whenever I see someone walking down the street with a, I like to kick doors and shoot fuckers in the face. My reaction is, no, you don't because you've never fucking done it.

And you could, and you probably wouldn't be able to. It's funny. And let me just add one thing because it's interesting. And it was a conversation I had with another mutual friend of ours. Obviously, I won't give his name. But I remember he and I were, at one point we came back and we were a little upset because we came back to a nation after, you know, I don't know what tour it was. And it just seemed like everyone was hyper-focused on the Kardashians and American

idle and all this stuff and and we're kind of frustrated i remember us having coffee and we're talking about and and we came to a realization and the realization was was this and again rob will will feel this one um we used to leave for these deployments usually in the middle of night because of the way the flights worked right so so we'd have to go muster at like 11 p.m and then get on the plane like midnight and fly out and so so my kids were small they were always in bed you know and i'd always go into their room and just watch them and you know every parent probably does this but i always you know watch my i always used to watch my kids sleep but especially on the nights that i was leaving i'd go and watch them and I'd wonder what they were dreaming about and I would hope I always I always I

hoped they were dreaming about like Disneyland and and sugar plums and fairy whatever it is right and I realize and my buddy and I realize that that's why we do it we do it because we don't want our kids to have to see the stuff we see we don't want our kids to have to think about the stuff that we think about we want to preserve a little bit of that blissful ignorance and and honestly We do that happily. We do that with, we do that, you know,

with great pride. And that's cool. It really is. And so I'm not mad at the Kardashians anymore. I just, you're both, you're supposed to special men. You just are.

And takes my breath. I, when you talk, there's a sense of emotion in me. That's not just gratitude. I'm not sure what it is with both of you. Every time I've talked with each of you. I'm curious, I don't think I've ever asked you this, Rob, and maybe you can't share it, maybe you don't know.

How is this journey of yours? You spent most of your life doing this. You were one guy when you were, you're not even sure which group of the military you were joining initially, right? Yeah. And then you're another guy sitting there right now, having had experiences that are unconscionable, that almost no human being that's ever walked the earth that's had the experiences you've had. Right? I mean, you've had a life experience in situations and environments that the combination of which you may be the only one or one of the very few. Do you know how it's affected you?

Do you do you, can you describe it if you are even aware? Well, I'm just, I'm just lucky because, you know, every day I used to, I was fortunate to go to work with people who were better than me. But I learned being a dude from Montana who joined the Navy basically because the Marine recruiter wasn't in the office. I couldn't swim. And I ended up in bin Laden's bedroom as a Navy SEAL. It proved to me that it doesn't matter what you look like or where you're from. You can do anything as long as you keep a positive attitude. One of the things in seal training that an instructor said to me, the abridged version was when you feel like quitting, which you will, do not quit now, quit tomorrow.

If you can keep quitting tomorrow, you can do anything, anything you want to do in life. Just wait until tomorrow. I was going to quit today, but I'll just quit tomorrow and quit tomorrow. And then as far as that, that was the best experience in my life. I missed a lot of time in the United States. I missed a lot of time away from my daughters. But I was over there. And when you get into the, when you're the number two man, number three men going through the door,

you're no longer fighting for the political party in charge. You're fighting for the men and women next to you. And so it's very important for a lot of these veterans to realize what they did was not in vain because it comes to a point where someone needs to take a stand and you took the stand. And that's it. And there's people that don't have the platforms that I do. They need the recognition. You know, the Marines that were out there walking in a ridiculously.

hot sun through the minefields with the people next to them who've seen their brothers and sisters killed in action. What they did was not in vain. And the message I would just tell them is, you know, a lot of people are going through it. And the important thing is once and while, don't try to self-medicate. You know, put the bottle down, call someone. Even if you're, if you're having a bad day, call someone because they might be having a good day. And when you're, you know, or you're having a great day and you get out of the gym and you have the endorphins going, call someone because they might be having a bad day. And we can get through this together. You know, nothing you did was in vain. It doesn't, you know, it doesn't matter who made a bad decision.

You made the right decision to be there. And again, we're the good guys. I'll add something because I think this is, wow, we lost several friends. I lost one of my friends right before I got out of the Navy, actually. And we were at Dover and we were receiving his remains. And it was a bunch of us buddies who did that. And one of our, one of the guys pulled us all into the room.

He said, hey, guys, let's just get it in the room here for a second. And he said, hey, we need to tell each other we love each other more often. We need to remember to do this. that. We're not doing it enough. And so that's what I would say to everybody out there. Tell the people that you care about that you love them more often, okay? Because it only does good. It really does. And I know you have a couple, well, we're not Navy SEALs and we're former Navy SEALs, right, but a couple former Navy SEALs here. And if we can sit here and tell people to tell people that you love them more often, do it, right? This is what do we need in this country.

We need to love each other more. We need to have empathy. It's okay to disagree with each other. What's not okay is if we don't talk to each other. So empathy, love, and discourse is what we need. Daya, do you see why he was such a great leader? That's another line I'm going to steal from Rich. Yeah, it's mine too. I got it too. So last, by the way, you guys, it goes without saying thank you.

I keep getting emotions because I know how specialist conversations. I know that so many people needed it. I kind of feel like, well, you guys need it too. Like, oh, your brother. Yeah, no doubt. No doubt. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far.

Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So the man that we're going to talk with today is a very important man to me. There are not five people on planet Earth that I would rather speak to today than this young man. And my dream list for people that would be on this podcast, he is at the very, very top of the list. because he's a story of resiliency, faith, strength, comeback.

And you all know his story. On January 2nd, 2023, with about 5 minutes and 58 seconds left in the game against the Cincinnati Bengals, my dear friend here, tackled wide receiver T. Higgins. He was running with the ball. He hit DeMarr and in the chest with his helmet. And DeMar made the tackle, as he always does. and he got up after that tackle, stood up for a second, and then collapsed on the field. And in that moment, our country was captivated, and literally hundreds of millions of people were in prayer for this precious young man.

I don't know that I've ever said this and meant it more. I am so grateful that you are here today. And welcome to the show, Damar Hamlin. Good to have you here, brother. Somebody who's going through, they're on the bottom. right now. Right now in their life. They're like, man, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm down right now. You know, I just, nothing's working out. You know, I, my business just failed or I just broke up with my relationship or man, just nothing I've done has been clicking for years. I don't feel good about

myself. I'm down. And this may sound like an interesting metaphor, but they need sort of a life version of CPR to get back up again. They need some life breathed back into them literally. what would you say to somebody who's just down right now and wants to make a comeback? What would you say to that person who's struggling with that right now? First thing I would say is, man, you can't conquer the world of one day. So, you know, just take yourself out of that big perspective and see how you can take one step and put the right foot in front of the left foot. You know, something I've heard a while is you can't sit in a pool of pity, you know.

So even when you feel that feeling of, you know, you want to harp on your situation or your circumstances too much, get up and move. Like literally, I mean, get up and move, you know, so you can get yourself out of the film before you get sunk too deep into it. That's the first way I would say, just, you know, to deal with the emotions that come off of your situation. Don't allow yourself to sit in it, get up and move, and don't think you can just know that you can't conquer the world or one day. So wherever it is you want to be, you know, you got to take it step by step one day at a time, I knew that I had to take a step by step one day at a time.

I couldn't worry about, you know, trying to suit up and play in the playoffs again. I would have drove myself crazy. Literally, I would have drove myself insane. I had to know that it's going to be a journey. And even through this season that I just went through, you know, people deal with ACLs and don't come back in the time period that I did or any other injuries that don't come back in the time period that I did. So I know it's going to be a journey.

Even when some people return off the ACLs, they're not their same selves. that first season out their back, they need time. They need steps. They got to put the right foot in front of the left, and they got to walk the journey. They got to go through the ugly phases, you know? I feel like I just went through an ugly phase this whole season. You know what I mean?

But I'm super proud of myself, you know, so go through the ugly phases. Don't be afraid of it. Embrace it. That's the biggest part of it all. Focus on take one foot in front of the right, go through the ugly phases and just continue to try to get better one day at a time, one step out of time, man, you feel is necessary to accomplish what you want to get done and then follow it.

Make no negotiations with yourself whenever you set the plan out. Like if you say you're going to do certain things at certain times or with certain people, make sure you're doing it. You know what I mean? Hold yourself to a different standard and accountability so that you can get out of your situation. You know, you can't get out of a situation doing the same things that puts you into the situation. So, you know, that's like insanity.

the same things and expecting different results. You know, and I'm kind of, I'm kind of, you know, preaching that message to, you know, a lot of my personal friends in my life, you know, who are, you know, they complain about certain things or they bring certain things to my attention. And then, you know, they keep doing the same things. I'm at the point where it's like, you know, if you're going to keep dealing with the same certain type of things, don't even tell me because, like, don't sit up here and just waste all my time when you, okay, with accepting the same things, I got you where you are.

if you want to get yourself to a different situation, you've got to do different things to get different results. That's my perspective on it. That's so good. Brother, I'm just sitting here going, you've got to be kidding. It's so good. You know what you are?

You're a great perspective giver. Just who you are. I got to tell you, today was a particularly not great morning for me. And I was talking to my daughter. And I said, she goes, how are you doing today, Daddy? I said, I'm not having a great morning, Bella. I'm not having a good day. And then we hung up and I was kind of just, I've been so excited about this interview for so long.

It's kind of like re-prepropering a little bit. And then I literally said to myself, I just everybody hear this for whatever you're going through. I said, really, you're not having a great day compared to what? The day DeMar had on January 2nd, 2023 in that moment, that's a bad day compared to me. I met a couple meetings not go the right way, right? and this man was in front of millions of people literally fighting for his life. Does it give you a perspective, brother, like when you're having what used to be a bad day, you're like, well, not compared to, like compared to what, right?

Do you ever have that thought? Does it give you perspective on that? Man, every day. Every day, to be honest, you know, there's no day where I can, you know, allow myself to get too low anymore because, you know, I have the appreciation of life, you know, so No matter what's going on in life, just to still be here is a blessing because we all know some people who are not. And we all wish that we can have some people still with us. So no matter my situation, I'm able to allow myself to appreciate something.

You know, it's hard to appreciate everything, you know, especially when, you know, for the people that are listening, especially when, you know, you're going through situations where your emotions are rising and, you know, you're feeling whatever you're feeling the most. but I'm always able to bring myself to appreciate at least one thing, no matter what it is, no matter of it's the ability to still play football, because I could have been taken away from me. No matter of it's, you know, just appreciating family, my little brother, my mom, my dad, you know, no matter of it's just, you know, appreciating a deep breath, man, or appreciating wherever I am in the world,

you know, if I'm in California, you know, if I'm at home, If I'm anywhere in the world, I always bring myself to find at least one thing that I can appreciate. And it shapes your perspective differently. It really does. Wow. Brother, I love you. I'm two things. I got one last question.

One, I'm grateful for you. You as well. I thank you for this. This was therapy for me. Good. Well, me too. And millions of people. The second thing is I just, as a brother, I'm proud.

I'm just very proud of you. very proud of you. You're remarkable. All right, a football question because they'll be pissed if I don't ask. So are you a free agent? No. Okay.

So you're on the contract. I'm a Buffalo Bill. I'm a Buffalo Bill. Okay, because I read something today, Bill's Mafia. I read something today, you know what I ask you about? They were like,

hey, I wouldn't mind end of my career playing for the Steelers, right? Is that an accurate quote? Like, I just make you awkward. I asked you, I didn't push you too hard on what happened on the field. I got to, like, is like, people want to know what's going to happen with this young man. So we know you're a bill.

But is there a little party to be eventually would love to finish up with the Steelers or you want to be a bill for life? I want to be a bill for life. You know, that's the team that truly took a chance on me and gave me opportunity, you know, to show what I can do. You know, I'm a late-round draft pick. Throughout the whole entire draft, you know, I watched my name sit as the first name to best taken, you know, for like two, three rounds. pounds, you know, and I'm just like, will I ever get my opportunity? You know, I knew I had what it takes, you know, but, you know, opportunity, like, preparation doesn't always meet opportunity.

I was prepared, but I didn't know if the opportunity was going to come. So, you know, the bills, when they selected me, you know, I was, I felt so blessed, you know, and I didn't know anything about Buffalo. I didn't know anything about Bill's Mafia at the time, but, you know, it didn't take long for me to, for them to show me who exactly. who they were and, you know, for me personally and then doing my research as well, just seeing how they treated their players, how they treat other players on other teams, you know, like donated $80,000 to other people's team, like to other teams' foundations. Like, it was,

it was just unbelievable of like the support that Bills Mafia has for the players of the Buffalo bills. So first and foremost, I want to clear all here. I want to be a Buffalo Bill for life because that's the team that took a chance on me. When I answered that question, you know, I answered it from the perspective of, you know, a childhood perspective, you know, a kid that, you know, grew up his entire life. Like I told you, man, I had the dream for a long time. I had the dream for a long time, you know, just making it to the NFL and just being able to have an opportunity to, you know, take care of my family or give back to my community, something that I didn't have as a kid growing up, you know. So that was always my job.

driving force. But you know, as a kid, you know, like playing the game, I always creating myself as a stealer and I always, you know, played the game like that, just as a kid. So the question they asked me, I answered it from a childhood perspective. And then I also answered it from the perspective of, no, I don't want to play for the Steelers right now because I'm a Buffalo bill. You know what I mean? Like, I'm still under contract with the Buffalo Bills. And then on top of that, and then on top of that, you know, I spent five years at the union. University of Pittsburgh, and I shared the facility with the Steelers. That's how I built a close relationship, you know, with them.

And then so that's college, five years. And then four years of high school where we had championship games at, you know, the stadium. So, you know, I've had my fair share of time there. How I answered the question was it would more so be a dream to finish career than to be playing now. And I said that lightly because, you know, you see players all the time who have a career, they'll have like an eight, 10 year career with this team, and then they'll go play for this team for X amount of time. And then when they finally retire, they'll go sign that $1 contract with the team that they felt most connected to and then retire with that team. Right.

So, you know, it was a lightly answered question that kind of like super stirred up social media. but to be honest, you know, even through all the chaos of it that it caused, I'm just super excited to finally see people excited to see me play football of women. You know what I mean? That was a great feeling. That above all those, you know, above all the chaos it might have caused, that was just a great feeling.

You know what I mean? I dealt with so much, you know, controversy and, you know, like just craziness all year long. just if I needed to be playing, if I was just all of a sudden just this trash player, if I just was never good at football and I'm only famous for one thing and this and that. You know, so I went through a whole year or that, you know, and, you know, just chirping. You know, I don't allow none of that to enter my inner matrix. But, you know, it was super exciting to see people, you know, excited to see me play football again. So, like, you know, it turned me up a little bit, man.

we go harder in the gym. It made me go harder in the gym those days because, you know, I'm excited for them to see what I got in the tank, too. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Milet show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guess. What is a singular transformative thought that somebody could think that would change that? Because I know you discuss it in the book, and so I really want to drill down on that. What is one thought, one thing that we could think, like, I'm stuck. How do I get out? Yeah. You have to evaluate the means.

you take from things. So it's not the events of your life. First off, what's thinking? Like let's just look at that. What's thinking? Thinking is the process of asking and answering questions to ourselves. I get really deep on that in the book. So thoughts are created by questions. So you have a repeated question that you ask yourself regularly. So two things you need to change the question you ask yourself, not the statement you make yourself, but the question you ask yourself and I'll give you a thought about that. I literally list like 50 questions to ask yourself. But the other thing is that it's not the events of our life that define us.

It's the meaning we take from it. That meaning then creates an emotion that emotion causes it to make a decision. Okay. So, for example, you and I, God forbid, worst thing ever, we walked out to the house when I leave here, and there was a car accident. And someone was killed right here. And we had to walk to the scene of that accident. So that's an event. You and I would go to that event and go, my gosh, this is one of the worst tragedies, the worst tragedy of our experience in my life.

We'd be sad. We would create a series of emotions. Same exact event, Mother Teresa was here. she would tell you that it was the honor of her lifetime to be present when someone's soul leaves their body and goes to heaven same exact event totally different meaning totally different emotion that's an extreme example so what you have to start asking yourself is when something happens this may seem weird what would I need to believe about this

so that it would serve me my dad's drinking I could be the son of an alcoholic and I could have all those negatives in there and that's where I come from and my dad was this my dad was that or I could say what do I need to mean what do I need to believe about that event what would I need to believe in which true is that's where I got my best skill sets. What I did is I learned about redemption. What I learned is what I didn't want to have. So it's asking yourself the powerful question,

what would I need to be? Here's the other thing. When you have a negative thought, awareness of a thought makes it lose its power over you. So for me, I have those thoughts sometimes too. And I'll go, I'm doing it again. And then you get above your thought. When you get above your thought, it's almost like a little game

you're watching play. It can't impact you like it does when you're in the thought. So get above your thought. You don't have to believe. everything you think and most of the stuff you think is boshish most of the time installed out of a flawed question you keep asking yourself so just ask yourself what would I need to believe about this so that it would serve me and when you and then sometimes you can ask yourself what would so-and-so do in this situation

use one of your models how would Jasmine handle this situation I do that often how would one of my mentors handle this situation so it's ask a better question you'll get a better answer you'll take away a better meaning I love this so again let's get super granular What is a common question that you see people asking and be like, there's a better question. What is the common question? What is the better question? Yeah, one of the common questions is, what do I need to worry about right now?

We all have a question going on in our mind all the time. So like when you wake up in the morning, there's a question you've asked yourself upon waking that creates an emotion for you. For many people, before they even lead to bed, what do I need to worry about today? And by the way, here's another one. Here's a big one, even though we don't say it that way. Like, what am I afraid of right now? my dad till he died

when I would get off the phone with him go hey be careful I don't even know what it meant you ever parents say that you hey be careful I'm like I'm 46 years old like be careful

do you even know he didn't even know he was saying it right but what does that notate when you say that to a child all of their life be careful what oh what should I be afraid of and I want to be a good boy

and I want to behave so all of these little things that happen there's these really quiet questions you're asking yourself all the time for me learned one thing about me of all these tools I have is like about five years ago I was like you know it's interesting man I create chaos in my life like I stir things

I know they're doing good and I and I'm like and I used to tell me I function so well in chaos because I do and I'm really familiar with it but the reason I create chaos is I grew up in it right so I no matter what's going on in my life I find a way to get my chaos I'm gonna find a way to get my chaos we all in the book I talk about emotions we all have like the five or six emotions we get on a weekly basis regardless of the circumstances. So if those emotions are fear, worry, anxiety, lack, depression, anger, down, whatever they might be, you find a way to get them, don't you? You find a way to get these emotions, no matter what the conditions are, maybe a day or two

you don't, but over a week, you're like, I got my anxiety. I got my fear. I got my worry. I got my lack. Or you could say the emotions I want are joy, ecstasy, passion. For me, I got all the ones I want but there was this lingering one which was chaos and how do I get rid of it's really hard it still comes up but what I do is I go I'm doing it again I'm doing the chaos thing I'm doing it you dummy I'm doing it and I get above the thought and almost becomes like watching a little carnival ride down here that I'm doing I'm like you dumbass what are you doing again chaos again what would I need to believe about this so it wasn't chaotic and I've trained myself to do it to believe

about this what do I need to believe about it what's the meaning I got to take yeah and I'm like I've got happiness and joy and ecstasy and passion and all that other stuff. But there's this one dude, I used to have fear and worry and anxiety. You know, I probably still have a little worry thing where I'm like, what am I worried about right now? You ever just, you're driving your car, you're doing something, you're like,

I don't even know what I'm worried about right now. Yes. You ever have that happen? I sometimes think my mind maps to, what do I need to worry about right now? That's exactly what it's doing, Jasmine. It's literally looking for something to worry about. It is your RAS and it is your map.

It is a pattern, the perfect word for it is map. So it's being aware of it when it happens, and then beginning to be intentional and replacing it with the other thing. It's exactly what's happening. And it's me too. A few human beings have this. And here's the other thing. It's never gone if that software was installed in you when you were a child.

And by the way, you could say, no, no, no, my parents have one of the most loving, unbelievable people. It's just, my dad was a, my dad meant to protect me by going, hey, be careful. Be careful. What a weird thing to go out into the world thing about, I better be careful, I better be careful. That's not a way to live your life. Right. Underneath that is fear. And let me say one last thing.

No one, I say in the book, emotions aren't negative or positive. All of, they just are. It's the dosage. Like, if I never had fear, fear makes you focus. Fear was given to us in the caveman day so like T-Rex didn't need us, right? So like, fear's healthy in doses. But to live in it, it's concerning. Anxiety's not that bad for me, a little bit of it because it makes me prepare.

Right. If you had no anxiety about this conversation, perhaps you wouldn't have prepared. So it's the dosage of it. Just realize that. Don't beat yourself up when you have them. It's to the extent that you get it. Ooh. Yeah.

Okay. I can see that, like, right now, I mean, people could have stopped listening at, like, five minutes in. Oh, it's because you're doing. It got a good dose of Ed My Left. Thank you.