THE ED MYLETT SHOW - How to Start Winning Again

Episode Date: October 18, 2025

The Discipline of Focus: How to Start Winning Again In this mashup episode, I’ve brought together four powerhouse voices including myself, Codie Sanchez, Damar Hamlin, and James Lawrence, to uncover what it really takes to build an unshakable focus and eliminate the distractions that steal our greatness. I'm breaking down the hard truths about the secret things in your life that are stealing your attention and ultimately your bliss. I'm also giving you the truth about sacrifice and the true cost of winning at anything in life. Codie Sanchez shares a mindset shift that hit me hard: stop setting goals, start setting sacrifices. She reveals how true success begins when you decide in advance what price you’re willing to pay and refuse to negotiate with yourself once the work starts. You’ll hear how she and her Navy SEAL husband built their lives around discipline, eliminating decision fatigue, and choosing obsession over comfort. Then, Damar Hamlin delivers one of the most powerful messages I’ve ever recorded about resilience and perspective. This is a man who literally fought for his life on live television and came back stronger. His advice? Take it one step at a time. Don’t drown in self-pity. Move. Even when life knocks you down, you’ve got to keep putting one foot in front of the other. He’ll remind you that gratitude and focus are the oxygen that keep your spirit alive. And finally, Iron Cowboy James Lawrence opens up about what happens after you achieve the impossible. From completing 100 Ironmans in 100 days to facing the emotional crash that followed, James reveals the truth about purpose, pain, and the power of “one more.” His story is proof that even when you’ve hit your limit, you’ve still got one more step, one more rep, one more moment of greatness left inside you. These stories are going to shake something loose in you. Because the truth is, your dream isn’t waiting for more time—it’s waiting for more focus. Key Takeaways: - Why setting sacrifices, not goals, builds unstoppable discipline (Codie Sanchez) - The mindset to eliminate decision fatigue and master consistency - How to rebuild your life one step at a time after loss (Damar Hamlin) - The emotional aftermath of success and how to find meaning again (James Lawrence) - Why doing “one more” is the ultimate mindset for greatness - How obsession creates the life you’ve been chasing Also don’t miss out on MAXOUT2026: Once a year, I open my home for an intimate one-day experience unlike anything else I do. This year, I’m making it even smaller, just 12 to 15 people. Together, we’ll dive deep into the exact strategies I use to plan, visualize, and design the best year of my life and yours. If you’re ready to Max Out your future, join me at ⁠Maxout2026.com⁠ for a life-changing day you’ll never forget. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠👉 SUBSCRIBE TO ED'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL NOW 👈⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   → → → CONNECT WITH ED MYLETT ON SOCIAL MEDIA: ← ← ←  ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠INSTAGRAM⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FACEBOOK⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LINKEDIN⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠   ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  ➡️ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠WEBSITE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by Peloton. A new era of fitness is here. Introducing the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ. Built for breakthroughs, with personalized workout plans, real-time insights, and endless ways to move. Lift with confidence, while Peloton IQ counts reps, corrects form, and tracks your progress. Let yourself run, lift, flow, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.ca. Hey guys, it's Ed. I rarely do this. As you know, 99.9% of my content is free. But once a year, I do something where I gather a very small group of people in my house. I've done it for two years in a row now. And I'm going to do it again this year. I'm going to do an experience in my home where I'm going to take you through how to make 2026 the best year of your life, all of the tactics and strategies that I used to plan and organize my own life in detail. Same time, all of the mental rehearsal and visualization techniques that people pay me hundreds and millions of dollars a year to teach them.

wanted to tell you this day is not something that I take very lightly. One thing you should know, full disclosure, is once this is sold out, I'm not adding extra days. And so last year, this sold out within about 24 hours. This year, I'm keeping the groups to 12, maybe 15 people. And so if you're inclined to spend the day with me, I would encourage you to take action now because truly this will be sold out, probably within 24 to 48 hours. Click the link below, and you can get rolling to spend a day with me in my home. Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show.

Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Welcome back to Max Out, everybody, Ed Mylett. Today we're going to talk specifically about distractions and paying the price to win. Both sides of the coin. You know, one of the things that human beings underestimate dramatically is their capacity to get great at something if they're totally immersed in it. totally laser focused on something.

But as I've coached the very high-end athletes in my life, the top business people and entertainers, I can tell you that most people underestimate what total obsessive laser-focused really is and what it looks like, because you are way more powerful than you know you are if you went crazy, psycho-obsessed, laser-focused on anything, even something you're totally ill-prepared for.

Humans have an unreal capacity to get great at things, even if they don't have a natural talent for it, if they're immersed in it, and to learn something and acquire a ton of knowledge in a short period of time as well. Because the truth of the matter is, in society today, society is conspiring all the time in our culture to completely distract you so you never win, to just divert your focus and attention. Look over here, look at this shiny thing, look at this TV show, look at this sports team. So we never get obsessed. We never get laser focused for an extended period of time. Men, so many of you, obsessed with sports, you're fans of these teams.

Did it really change your life when the Patriots won the Super Bowl? Like if you're a Patriot fan, on Saturday they hadn't yet won, on Sunday night they won. How different was your life? Tom Brady's life was different, yours wasn't. You Laker fans or basketball fans, does it really matter? Like if your team wins, does it really matter? I got news for you guys. You don't play for the team.

You don't. I know you think you do. I know you wear their jerseys. I think it's one of the funniest things in life. but I don't mean this critically. Please, I mean this as a brother, guys. But you're running around wearing a jersey with an other grown man's name on the back of it.

Isn't that a little bit ridiculous? I mean, I really, some of you ladies are non-random, my husband needs to hear this, hey dude, I don't mean this critically, but really a grown-ass man, you're wearing the name of another man on the back of your jersey every single day. Literally, your name isn't Bryant or James

or Trout or Brady, but you wear their name on the back of you? Isn't that a little bit odd? We won Sunday. No, we didn't win. They won, you gotta go back to work on Monday. You don't play for that team. And it's time you wake up and start getting focused on your own life.

I'm not saying don't watch the game, but being obsessed with it throughout the week, who's injured, who's hurt, are we gonna win? We aren't doing anything because you don't play for them. In fact, players trade teams so much, what you really are rooting for is like laundry. You root for the team that has like this jersey that's your color, but the players change

all the time. Yet you keep rooting for these teams. What a catastrophic, and I mean this is love, because I'm a sports fan. I love the Red Sox, the Patriots. I'm a New England area sports fan. But I don't really get real caught up in it. I go to enjoy the game once in a while

and how great they are as athletes. But what a catastrophic waste of your own life to be worrying about what professional athletes do and pretending to be on their team. You're not on the team. You don't win or lose. They do. Right?

They do. So wake up and get focused on your own. own goals. Oh, I can hear all the women going, amen, tell him, preach, right? Ladies. In your cases, it might be your sports team. It might be the television star. It might be some author you love. It might be something like that for men or women. For women, some of you at sports as well. But the fact of the matter is, all of these things are a distraction from our own lives. You don't play for these teams. You're not on these shows and you don't know these people. And whoever wins a Grammy or an Oscar doesn't change your life. You winning in your

life is what changes it. What other things divert our focus? The things in life that don't matter, our own negative thoughts, our own insecurities, our own weaknesses, these distract us, failure distracts us, gossiping of other people distracts us, talking about other people, worrying about haters, getting caught up in things that don't matter in our life. Drugs and alcohol distract us. There's all these things when you start to pile them into life. What's your distraction? Just be honest. Is it living vicariously through your children? Is it living through them and their soccer team and their little league and their grades? Are you distracted by living through your children?

Are you distracted by ESPN? Are you distracted by movies, Netflix, video games, gossip, haters? There's all these things competing to get you to not be focused. How about your insecurities? How about your fears? How about your worries or your problems? Are you using all of these? Do you kinda, your relationship issues?

Does it distract you from your big goals? Do you let these things? Do you almost willingly do it? Here's what I think. Most of us are willing participants in our own distraction. And we need to be willing participants in our own focus, in our own obsessions, and getting ourselves back on plan. I'm not saying don't be a complete person, but I'm saying for you to complete your journey

towards maxing out, for you to completely max out your life, you must eliminate all of these things that take you by the wayside. And so now the second part of the coin, if we're going to win, right, is the sacrifice. I want you to write this down. I need to embrace the suffering. You know, there's something powerful that once you just sort of embrace the fact that in order to achieve something big, you've got to get rid of these distractions. And then the other layer of it is you're probably going to have to have some suffering to get

there or some sacrifice to get there. And so once you've embraced and decided that this suffering, this sacrifice you're making is an indicator of progress. It's an indicator of obsession. Suffering and sacrifice and hard work is an indication. of progress towards our dreams. The lack of sacrifice, the lack of suffering in our lives,

its removal, it's non-existence, also equates to a non-existence of a great life, a non-existence of a dream happening, a big one anyway. And so embrace the fact that you're going to have to sacrifice and suffer to some extent. Once you've embraced that it's going to happen,

it's almost not that bad. It's kind of like those of you that are fit. We already know, and you already know, even if you're not, you've sort of accepted that before you go to the gym and get there, you're going to have to suffer. And we go anyway. It becomes a habit.

No one goes into a gym thinking, I'm not going to have to sacrifice or suffer. There'll be no discomfort or no pain. But millions of people go anyway, don't they, to the gym? On some level, they're suffering in the gym, whether it's breathing heavy or sweating or aches or pains or stress. You know, everything in the gym is a sacrifice, and to some extent, you're suffering, going through some pain. You know it before you go, don't you?

Yet most of us go all the time. Yet in life outside of that one area, most of us are worried about suffering. We're afraid of it. When we're suffering and sacrificing, we wonder whether it's worth it. We wonder whether we're supposed to. We wonder whether sacrifice or setbacks or suffering is a sign. It's not our real dream, don't we? See, at the gym, you'd never think, oh, I'm going through some pain of discomfort.

This must be a sign. I shouldn't be at the gym. You'd never think that. It goes with the territory. Everyone knows just build a bicep or a tricep or a chest or legs. you have to break it down, suffer and sacrifice for it to grow. So while it's happening, there's no part of you that says this isn't right. In fact, the indication of the pain and sacrifice and sweat, don't you feel better at the

gym? You're like, wow, I really sacrificed today. I really suffered. So in that area, we all know to the extent we suffer and sacrifices to the extent we grow. And your body is a metaphor for the rest of your life. But the rest of our life, every time we sweat, every time we sacrifice, every time we suffer, we don't do what we do at the gym, we start saying, well, wait a minute, maybe I'm not supposed to be doing this. Maybe I'm not cut out. Maybe it's not my destiny. Maybe I just can't do it. It's the

most unbelievable, ridiculous conclusion we draw, but it's what everybody does, which is another form of distraction is doubt. The coins flip on each other all the time, don't they? Another form of distraction is just doubt, and doubt comes from the suffer. It comes from a loss. It comes from fear. It comes from the sacrifice. And so just remember this. You're so, to suffer and sacrifice. So let me ask you a question. What are you willing to risk in order to make your dream come true? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You're going to take a risk. Maybe it's financial. Maybe it's a risk of time. Maybe it's a risk at your job. Maybe it's a risk of looking bad. Maybe it's a risk of failing, of falling on your face, of going broke,

of going through pain, of going through anxiety. Maybe it's even a risk in a relationship that's just going to be difficult while you do this. What are you willing to risk in order to And you have to accept that because remember what I'm going to tell you, the price you will pay for not making your dream come true is far greater than the one that you will pay to make it come true. Want me to say it again? The price you will pay, the suffering you will go through to make your dream come true, is incredibly small, infinitely smaller than the price you will pay if you never do. You'll pay that one the rest of your life. And so ask yourself what you're willing to risk. What's the price you're willing to pay?

Because what most people do, when they're trying to chase their dream or their big outcome, the whole time they're negotiating the price in their head. They're negotiating it. Should I continue to do it? Is it worth it? I don't know if I can continue anymore. It's getting higher. And that price is failure.

That price is setback. That price is looking back. That price can be financial, literally a physical price. And what happens is if you don't negotiate that price in advance, it's going to steal your focus and energy and become another distraction. One of the great distractions of chasing our dreams is this thing that goes off in our head as we're negotiating the price we're paying.

Should I keep paying it? Is it getting too high? Is it too much? And you'll have people in your ear, it's too big a sacrifice. You're going through too much. And you begin to negotiate it in your mind. It distracts all your focus.

You can't be executing and negotiating simultaneously. If you're in your head, negotiating and negotiating and negotiating, you can't execute. So negotiate it now. negotiate it with me now what are you willing to pay for me when I'm after something big as long as it's legal ethical and moral I'll sacrifice everything else but I will not sacrifice anything legal anything unethical or anything immoral but beyond that I'm going to get it and I know that negotiation

comes up front I accept the suffering I accept the sacrifice I know the sacrifice is far small than the one I'll pay if I don't do it and I eliminate distractions and I go freaking get what I want in my life just like you can and this needs to be your recipe as well If you're one of these people who's still negotiating whether it's worth it, maybe you've got someone in your head making you question it, that is a poverty and scarcity mentality. Let me prove it to you. When I didn't have money, and I spent most of my life with none, just like you,

what do we do when we go into a store? We don't go get what we want. We go get what we think we can afford. And so I spent the majority of my life flipping price tags over. I didn't buy that shirt I wanted. I buy the one that I could afford. I bought things based on price, not worth. And so I'm sure you did.

I didn't buy the car I wanted. I bought the car I could afford. So when I was broke and I had scarcity, what do you do when you're in that position? You negotiate price. You flip price tax. What's it cost? What's it cost? What's it cost? What's a cost? What's a cost? Not what do you want.

When I was poor, everywhere I went, flip the price tag. What's it cost? What's a cost? What's a cost? What's a cost? I was constantly negotiating the price for everything in my life. You do that when you come from a place of scarcity of being poor. Successful people and wealthy people have a sudden. distinction. They don't look at price. They look at worth. Is this worth it? If you're constantly looking at the price tag, you'll eventually relent. You'll eventually give in. Stop negotiating the price. It's a freeing experience to totally commit. When you totally commit to a relationship,

to a business, to your fitness, to your faith, it's a freeing, powerful. It's almost like removing kryptonite from your life when you totally commit. Can you do that? The people around joy it's costing too much it's costing too much and you're going maybe it's costing too much you're going no it's worth it's not the price it's the worth it's a subtle distinction in your life that same scarcity mentality we do in going after our dreams we want to acquire our dream you can't be in price tag mode what's it cost what's it cost what's it cost you never get what you want decide and advance what it's going to cost and then decide here's the subtle distinction successful people don't negotiate the cost of something. They negotiate whether it's worth it. That's subtle. It's

very subtle. If you're a person who's always thinking about what it's costing you in the sacrifice towards your dream, you're always going to be negotiating it. But if you can decide in advance that the cost is worth it, the negotiation stops and you go execute. What I'm telling you is if you really want something bad enough, it's worth it. It's worth it. So start to feed yourself the worth question over and over and over again, not the cost question. Cost is a distraction. Worth is a focus mechanism. This is so worth it, it's so worth it, it's so worth it, focuses you.

Cost distracts you. What I want to remind you of is on the other side of that suffering, on the other side of that sacrifice, on the other side of that laser focus, is your dream. It's one of the greatest places you'll ever be in your life. And here's what I know, by the way, the times where you've been the most laser focused in your life, listen to me on this, you've been the most happy. The times you've been the most distracted, you've been the most unhappy. Ladies, if you're listening to this, you think about the times where maybe when you were pregnant, for example, if you've been pregnant before,

and the amount of focus that went in on that beautiful baby you were going to have, the preparation for it. I mean, you're carrying that child right next to you. You can't get more focus on something than something you're carrying, right? And I'll guarantee you during labor, you weren't thinking about your, you were thinking about your electric bill or some email you had to return. and you were damn focused in that moment, and I'll bet that baby made you almost happier than you ever been in your life. For some of you that when you were cramming

for finals in your life, right? That first time you were cramming and it was so laser-focused on something, and you were happy. You know, the truth is that was a happy time in your life. For some of you that have built some businesses or maybe when you were in your courtship dating who you're now married to,

you were so focused, weren't you during that time with that person? I mean, it was some of the happiest times of your life. The most focused times in our life, the less distracted times in our life also equals the happiest times in our life. So if you really want true bliss, you want true fulfillment, it comes from eliminating the distractions and becoming obsessed. There are healthy obsessions in life. And the more obsessed we are about healthy things, the happier we are, whether we're obsessed with the happy times of carrying that baby and having that baby, the happy times of achieving a degree we've had. The obsession we've had when we were dating somebody and we were so in love with them, these times.

when we're in the healthiest of our obsessions is when we're the happiest. So I want to challenge you today to make that shift of eliminating these distractions and elevating your level of focus. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Now on to our next guest.

Welcome back to the show, everybody. So this lady that's on today, I actually sought her out after seeing her content. I think she makes some of the best content on all social media as it comes to business. She's got a background of Goldman. She's been in the VC business before. She's done all kinds of different things in business. And I love watching people online that I know of actually done the things that they talk about. And she's done that.

So from Wall Street to Main Street to your living room today, I'm super happy to have her here today. She's the co-founder of Contrarian Thinking. She's brilliant. You're going to take a ton of notes. Cody Sanchez, welcome to the show. I'm excited to be here. I've been a fan of yours for yours. I think it's really cool what you do online.

Thank you. Well, likewise. All right. You talk a lot about setting goals are okay, but you want people to set what instead? Sacrifices. Don't tell me what you want. Tell me what you're willing to do to get it. And that's something I hold myself to as well. Just I don't write goal lists. I literally, my husband and I, we do it quarterly and annually is the big one where we basically sit down and we say, here's all the things we want. What are all the things we're going to have to give up to get it? And so, you know, this quarter, we had one business with a lot of issues in it. And so we had a,

had a big plan that every year we go to Bonnaroo, which is where we met and where I got engaged. And I was like, this year, I'm like, babe, nope, we're not doing it. Now, could I go to, of course. Can I afford it? Can I have the time? And I said, no, we're sacrificing this because I do think that the universe likes signals. And when you say, I'm serious, I'm going to fix this. And I am focused on it as opposed to, you know, a beautiful set of distractions, things change.

Also distraction. By the way, I'm the same way. Yeah. One thing about entrepreneurs that does surprise me, and I don't mean to sound joyless in doing it, I'm amazed by how many vacations they take compared to the ones that I know. Yeah. In other words, the ones that I know that you and I both know mutually, I vacationed, but it's hard to get me to do it. And I feel like I just don't like leaving for too long because I lose momentum. I certainly haven't taken a lot of long vacations in my life.

I like two or three type day ones just because I just the distance and the moment. momentum or whatever it is. And maybe you go, well, that's because you haven't hired great people around you. Potentially that's true. But I'm amazed by the long breaks I see so many successful entrepreneurs take. And I'm like, I don't know many personally that are that successful that are on vacation every other month. Now, I know a lot of people listen to go, that's because you haven't figured it out, man. You got systems. You got people in place. I got systems. I got people in place. I'm also a business owner. And I know what that's like. I'm just curious. And by the way, completely feel free to disagree with me on that if you disagree. But what are

your thoughts on that? I think it's, you know, everything is about what you want out of life. And a lot of people are okay with, not that a lot of people are okay. A lot of people are thrilled with hanging out at every softball game with the kids like my dad did, which is incredible, in being around family and in not being a billionaire. Like, totally agree with that. Which is beautiful. I'm on board for it. I am a psychopath that wants to be a multi, multi-billionaire. Why? I'm not really sure. I think it's fun right now. Maybe at some point I'll change that. And it's not really fun. for ego, I don't really buy anything fancy. I'm not like, I have a nice watch. I kind of like clothes. But I just like the game. I like the game. And so I think for those people, how I see

them is like, okay, you're just, you're at this level. Like you want to stay a level four. That's awesome. But now I know you're a level four entrepreneur. And I don't partner with level four entrepreneurs. I help level four entrepreneurs. I support you. I, you know, I hope you find joy and help in the things that we do, but I don't partner with you. And every time I've broken that rule, And haven't dug deep enough, it's where I f***ed up and I've gotten into a bad partnership. Yeah. You know, I want to make sure that my audience knows. I completely agree with that, by the way.

And I've changed. As I've gotten older, I'm probably less that intense person in the sense that I am now more appreciative of the time. And I have such admiration for people who, whatever it is you want in your life, you get that. To me, a happy life is, show me your kind of your blueprint for your life. and if you're living it, you're successful, whatever that is. And as I've gotten older, my blueprint has changed where I want more time. I want more of those other things.

I think your audience knows that. I hope so. I want to make sure that I'm clear on that. Having said that, a lot of you that are early stage entrepreneurs, which is what I meant earlier, taking off as trying to get the plane off the ground is, you know, it takes a lot of force to get it in the air. Once it's in the air, it's much easier to be at a cruising altitude to some extent. I just see so many that I think they think it's at cruising altitude and it's still in the

liftoff phase. I guess it's the best way to say it. And it's like, man, you're letting off the accelerator an awful lot in the takeoff phase. Whereas you've got to be careful because that's what you see on social media. It looks like everyone's in Barbados. Everyone's in Khan. You know, everyone's in St. Bart's. That's not where I was when this thing was in a liftoff phase.

And the truth is I'm not even there now most of the time. One little hack, because you're here today. For those, you're like, yeah, but I want to have a great life. I would say to you, and I know this is contrary to what they say online, but like at some point, have a home that feels like you're on vacation when you're an entrepreneur. 100%. So that like my homes are where I feel like I'm living on vacation so that I don't have to go somewhere all the time.

So I kind of like live on vacation and yet work on that vacation all the time. That's sort of the medium place for those of you that want to live a dream anyway. Actually, it's brilliant because we do the same thing. We'll go for, you know, we have a place in another state and we go and stay there. for like two or three months, but I got everything set up. It's no different from my office and my other place. And I think that's really, really powerful. Yeah.

And so there's a power of place, there's a power of routine. And I think as often as you can stay inside of that as your higher likelihood to succeed. But I also think it's, I mean, people don't really need more people telling them that you're okay, you're perfect the way you are, you don't need to change anything. You can go slower. There's enough of that online. You think so. Yeah, I think like go on Instagram and have people tell you that working's bad, capitalism's awful, money's bad, and you don't need to work that hard to achieve what you want. And

universal basic income is around the corner. I think there's plenty of that. I think actually more people need, hey, it sucks. It's worth it. It's not going to be easy. But then after you have achieved what you wanted out of life, other people can't assert their will as easily on you. That's a fact. It's interesting. I've had this philosophical discussion because I wasn't, I was at most games, but I wasn't the dad who coached the teams. And there was a part of me as I was coming up and even like when you know i wish i had done that ironically i'm now at this age now where the guys who coach the teams they are grateful they did it but there's a part of them that's like now i'm 55 and i'm scared because i'm not financially equipped i am at risk i can't care for my

parents like they need right now and my family and so you have to be careful with those choices that you make all the time and it is great to applaud the person who's there all the time and that's a great life. Every sacrifice has a choice. To go back to the sacrifice thing, don't you think it's important what you said? I want to just build off of it and have you elaborate on it. I think you need to decide that sacrifice thing in advance. I think what most entrepreneurs do, or just humans, they don't negotiate the price tag in advance. And then while they're going through the effort of doing it, they're expanding and expending all this energy on the internal negotiation. Is it worth it? Oh my gosh, it's costing me this. I didn't know it was going to be that. I think there's brilliance

and what you said about on the front end deciding as a family, as a couple, or as an individual, this is the price I'm willing to pay so that you don't spend all this mental gymnastics negotiating it constantly. It's actually, I love that line. You should negotiate the price tag of your sacrifice ahead of time. Brilliant. I learned this from my husband in a lot of ways. He is former military ex-Nabby seal.

And so watching him is really interesting because he's so regimented on so many things, because he understands that the most important thing you do as a Navy SEAL is not shoot or, you know, fight people. It's, it's you make decisions. Your most important weapon is your brain and your ability for that to not fatigue. And so decision fatigue is the biggest enemy in warfare. It's I have to make so many rapid decisions that I need to have a lot of capacity for the important ones and the understanding of when it is it important and when is it not. And so what does he do? He just doesn't negotiate normalcy. So every single day, he gets up, he eats the same thing. He does his workout the same way. Every single day, workouts are a habit. They are not an option. And as many times as possible, he makes the normal things habitual. And then he gets to have lots of fun and spontaneity around it, but he doesn't allow for decision fatigue.

And so I've learned a lot from him on that. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Edmight show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. Here's an excerpt I did with our next guest. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. So the man that we're going to talk with today is a very important man to me. There are not five people on planet Earth that I would rather speak to today than this young man.

And my dream list for people that would be on this podcast, he is at the very, very top of the list. Because he's a story of resiliency, faith, strength, comeback. And you all know his story. On January 2nd, 2023, with about five minutes and 58 seconds left in the game against the Cincinnati Bengals, my dear friend here tackled wide receiver T. Higgins, was running with the ball. He hit Demar and in the chest with his helmet. And DeMar made the tackle, as he always does. And he got up after that tackle, stood up for a second, and then collapsed on the field.

and in that moment our country was captivated and literally hundreds of millions of people were in prayer for this precious young man. I don't know that I've ever said this and meant it more. I am so grateful that you are here today and welcome to the show, Damar Hamlin. Good to have you here, brother. Thanks for having me.

I appreciate, you know, the answer. You've talked to, you know, some of the biggest and the best across the world, you know. So to be in that, you know, top five, I actually wanted to talk to. It's, you know, it's an honor. So I'm glad to be here, glad to believe. Somebody who's going through, they're on the bottom right now, right now in their life. They're like, man, I'm, I'm down right now.

You know, I just, nothing's working out. You know, I, my business just failed or I just broke up with my relationship or, man, just nothing I've done has been clicking for years. I don't feel good about myself. I'm down, and this may sound like an interesting metaphor, but they need sort of a life version of CPR to get back up again. They need some life breathed back into them literally. What would you say to somebody who's just down right now and wants to make a comeback? What would you say to that person who's struggling with that right now? First thing I would say is, man, you can't conquer

the world in one day. So, you know, just take yourself out of that big perspective. and see how you can take long step and put the right foot in front of the left foot. You know, something I've heard a while is you can't sit in a pool of pity, you know, so even when you feel that feeling of, you know, you want to harp on your situation or your circumstances too much, get up and move. Like literally, I mean, get up and move, you know, so you can get yourself out of the feeling before you get sunk too deep into it. That's the first way I would say, just, you know, to deal with the emotions that come

off of your situation. Don't allow yourself to sit in it, get up and move, and don't think you can just know that you can't conquer the world on one day. So wherever it is you want to be, you know, you got to take it step by step one day at a time, you know. I knew that I had to take a step by step one day at a time. I couldn't worry about, you know, trying to suit up and play in the playoffs again.

I would drove myself crazy. Literally, I would drove myself insane. I had to know that it's going to be a journey. And even through this season that I just went through, I you know people deal with ACLs and don't come back in the time period that I did or any other injuries that don't come back in the time period that I did so I know it's going to be a journey even when some people return off the ACLs they're not they're not their same selves that first season out their back they need time they need steps they got to put the right foot in front of the left and they got to walk the journey they got to go through the ugly phases you know I feel like I just went through an ugly phase this whole season you know what I mean but I'm super proud of myself you know so go through the ugly phases Don't be afraid of it. Embrace it. That's the biggest part of it all.

Focus on taking one foot in front of the right, go through the ugly phases, and just continue to try to get better one day out of time, one step out of time, and write down what you feel is necessary to accomplish what you want to get done and then follow it.

Make no negotiations with yourself whenever you set the plan out. Like if you say you're going to do certain things at certain times or with certain people, make sure you're doing it. You know what I mean? yourself to a different standard and accountability so that you can get out of your situation. You know, you can't get out of a situation doing the same things that puts you

into the situation. So, you know, that's like insanity, doing the same things and expecting different results, you know, and I'm kind of, I'm kind of, you know, preaching that message to, you know, a lot of my personal friends in my life, you know, who are, you know, they complain about certain things or they bring certain things to my attention and then, you know, they keep doing the same things. I'm at the point where it's like, you know, if you're going to keep dealing with the same certain type of things, don't even tell me because, like, don't sit up here and just waste all my time when you, okay, with accepting the same things. I got you where you are. If you want to get yourself to a different situation, you've got to do different

things to get different results. That's my, that's my perspective on it. That's so good. Brother, I'm just sitting here going, you've got to be kidding you. It's so good. You know what you are you're a great perspective giver just who you are i gotta tell you today was a particularly not great morning for me and uh i was talking to my daughter and uh i said she goes how you doing today daddy i said i'm i'm not having a great morning bella i'm not having a good day and then we hung up and i was kind of just re i've been so excited about this interview for so long it's kind of like re-prepared a little bit and then i literally said to myself i just everybody hear this for whatever you're going through I said, really, you're not having a great day compared to what?

The day DeMarre had on January 2nd, 2023, in that moment, that's a bad day compared to me. I met a couple meetings not go the right way, right? And this man was in front of millions of people literally fighting for his life. Does it give you a perspective, brother, like when you're having what used to be a bad day? You're like, well, not compared to what, right? Do you ever have that thought? Does it give you perspective on that? Man, every day, every day, to be honest, you know, there's no day where I can, you know, allow myself to get too low anymore because, you know, I have the appreciation of life, you know, so no matter what's going on in life, just to still be here is a blessing because we all know some people who are not.

And we all wish that we can have some people still with us. So no matter my situation, I'm able to allow myself to appreciate something, you know, it's hard to. appreciate everything, you know, especially when, you know, for the people that are listening, especially when, you know, you're going through situations where your emotions are rising and, you know, you're feeling whatever you're feeling the most. But I'm always able to bring myself to appreciate at least one thing, no matter what it is, no matter of it's the ability to still play football, because I could have been taken away from me. No matter of it's, you know, just appreciating family, my little brother, my mom, my dad, you know,

no matter of it's just, you know, appreciating a deep breath, man, or appreciating wherever I am in the world, you know, if I'm in California, if I'm at home, if I'm anywhere in the world, you know, I always bring myself to find at least one thing that I can appreciate. And it shapes your perspective differently. It really does. Wow. Brother, I love you.

I'm two things. I got one last question. One, I'm grateful for you. You as well. I thank you for this. This was therapy for me. good well me too and millions of people the second thing is i just as a brother i'm proud i'm shoot i'm getting i'm just very proud of you very proud of you you're uh you're remarkable

all right a football question because he'll be pissed if i don't ask so are you free agent no okay so you're under contract i'm with the buffalo bills i'm a buffalo bill okay because because i read something today bill's mafia i read something today you know what i ask you about they were like hey, I wouldn't mind ending my career playing for the Steelers, right? Is that an accurate quote? Like, I just make you awkward. I asked you, I didn't push you too hard on what happened on the field. So I got to, like, is like, people want to know what's going to happen with this young man.

So we know you're a bill, but is there a little party of you eventually would love to finish up with the Steelers or you want to be a bill for life? I want to be a bill for life. You know, that's the team that truly took a chance on me and gave me opportunity, you know, to show what I can do. You know, I'm a late-round draft pick. Throughout the whole entire draft, you know, I watched my name sit as the first name to best taken, you know, for like two, three rounds, you know, and I'm just like, will I ever get my opportunity? You know, I knew I had what it takes, you know, but, you know, opportunity, like preparation doesn't always meet opportunity. I was prepared, but I didn't know if the opportunity was going to come. So, you know, the bills, when they selected me, you know, I was, I felt so bad.

blessed, you know, and I didn't know anything about Buffalo. I didn't know anything about Bill's Mafia at the time, but, you know, it didn't take long for me to, for them to show me exactly who they were. And, you know, for me personally, and then doing my research as well, just seeing how they treated their players, how they treat other players on other teams, you know, like donated $80,000 to other people's team, like to other teams' foundations. Like, it was, It was just unbelievable of like the support that Bill's Mafia has for the players of the Buffalo Bill. So first and foremost, I want to clear all here. I want to be a Buffalo bill for life because that's the team that took a chance on me.

When I answered that question, you know, I answered it from the perspective of, you know, a childhood perspective, you know, a kid that, you know, grew up his entire life. Like I told you, man, I had the dream for a long time. I had the dream for a long time, you know, just making it to the NFL. and just being able to have an opportunity to, you know, take care of my family and give back to my community, something that I didn't have as a kid growing up, you know, so that was always my driving force. But, you know, as a kid, you know, like playing the game, I always creating myself as a stiller, and I always, you know, played the game like that, just as a kid.

So the question they asked me, I answered it from a childhood perspective. And then I also answered it from the perspective of, no, I don't want to play for the Steelers right now because I'm a Buffalo bill. You know what I mean? Like, I'm still under contract with the Buffalo bills. And then on top of that, and then on top of that, you know, I spent five years at the University of Pittsburgh and I shared the facility with distillers. That's how I built a close relationship, you know, with them.

And then so that's college, five years. And then four years of high school where we had championship games at, you know, the stadium. So, you know, I've had my fair share time there. How I answered the question was it would more so be a dream to finish career than to be playing now. You know, and I say that, I said that lightly because, you know, you see players all the time who have a career, they'll have like an eight, 10 year career with this team, and then they'll go play for this team for X amount of time. and then when they finally retire, they'll go sign that $1 contract with the team

that they felt most connected to and then retire with that team. So, you know, it was a lightly answered question that kind of like super stirred up social media. But to be honest, you know, even through all the chaos of it that it caused, I'm just super excited to finally see people excited to see me play football with them.

You know what I mean? That was a great feeling. above all those, above all the chaos it might have caused, that was just a great feeling. You know what I mean? I dealt with so much, you know, controversy and, you know, like, just craziness all year long. Just if I needed to be playing, if I was just all of a sudden just his trash player, if I just was never good at football and I'm only famous for one thing and this and that, you know, So I went through a whole year or that, you know, and, you know, just chirping.

You know, I don't allow none of that to enter my inner matrix. But, you know, it was super exciting to see people, you know, excited to see me play football again. So, like, you know, it turned me up a little bit, man. It made me go harder in the gym. It made me go harder in the gym those days because, you know, I'm excited for them to see what I got in the tent too. Before we start the interview with my next guest, just want to remind you all that you can subscribe to the show on YouTube or follow the show on Apple or Spotify. We have all the links in our show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way.

Now on with the show. Welcome back to the show, everybody. Hey, have you ever thought about, like, running a marathon? Because I've thought about it. I'm like, there's an Iron Man in Cortal Lane where I spent my summers. Just the marathon part of it. I was like, that's bananas, 26 miles, you know? Any of you ever thought about doing that?

Or you ever watch one of these Iron Man's and go, man, I'm going to do that someday. And by the way, it's like about a two and a half mile swim, 112 miles on a bike, 26-mile run. That's kind of what an iron-length triathlon is. I want you to imagine doing one of those. Then I want you to imagine getting up the next day and doing it again. Can you imagine back-to-back days?

Then I want you to contemplate thinking about doing it 30 freaking days in a row. You got that? How about 50 days in a row? How about a hundred days in a row? Get your mind around that, okay? That would be one of the great all-time athletic endurance feats in the history of the world and simultaneously, one of the great mental toughness and resiliency feats of all time. Guess what?

I got the dude here today who did it. A hundred in a row in a hundred days. His name is Iron Cowboy. James Lawrence, welcome to the program, brother. Share with us what it's like to finish, to achieve it. So you've had a few of these. We're all sitting out here like, I got my dream too, man. Mine isn't a conquer 100.

You know, it's not bad. My dream is X or Y. What's it feel like, whoo, I did it. What's that feeling like if you can even begin to describe it? Yeah, this is, this could be an entire podcast to unpack because coming off the 50, I got heavily warned. They said, look, you're going to fall into depression. You're going to have confusion, brain fog. You're not going to know what's up. And I didn't experience that on the 50. And so when I was coming off of the 100, I was like, it's not going to

happen. I've got this. I'm a man. I'm invincible. I just did sports history. I'm good. and you saw the emotion of crossing the finish line of the 100 and it was that was raw and that was real and what I didn't expect was the depression the confusion the brain fog I don't know when it happened but at some point in the time I transitioned into a protective state to where I was in such trauma and turmoil that my brain was protecting me and it was not allowing me to feel and I believe I was and I it was probably around 85 that now looking back on it I was in the ultimate of flow state and and that's when it was it was somebody said the documentary asked me a question I was on the table and they said how many could you do and I said 200 I didn't even

hesitated. I was like 200. I was in such a state of like power and flow. And then I came out of it and I had this like my brain and our brains are so powerful Ed that it was masking every emotion that was real and that I was feeling. And it's it's hard to explain. But I was in an ultimate protective state from trauma. And I now have a lot of empathy for people that are going through something intense that they aren't themselves because they're trying to protect themselves from the feelings or the emotions or the trauma of what they're going through. And I would have never said I was in that state until I had an opportunity to come out of it. And it's been really hard. I've been walking around the house. I'm supposed to be

recovering. I don't know what to do. That was who I, who I was. And that's who I, that was my identity and everything and now that gets stripped away and then you start questioning well who am i is that is that my only value is that my only worth and then now you start to have this like real conversation with yourself okay now where what is my place and you you start to go this through this transitional conversation with yourself and i think there's three phases to any big journey it's preparation it's execution and then it's post and recovery to whatever that looks like And I think we have to respect all three levels of that type of journey. And the recovery portion of it could be the most important because it's when you unpack the lessons and you try to internalize the experience so that you can evolve again and be a better person to have influence that you want to have to help other people have that same type of experience in their lives on a positive level.

And so I'm, again, I'm grateful for the struggle. I'm grateful for the lessons that I can learn so that I can develop empathy for others that are in that situation. And so like we talked about, I'm grateful for rock bottom. I'm grateful for the struggle. I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn those lessons so that I can be a better father and person. I'm grateful for you today. And hopefully it will dawn on you when we finish this, that one of the places, as you belong is doing what we just did here today is literally millions of people's lives are

affected by this, especially on the audio side, millions of people. And there were no wasted words today. And only you are qualified to deliver these because of what you've gone through, because of what you've achieved, only you. No one else could do what you did today because someone else has not gone down literally the road that you've gone down. It makes me emotional to say. And so it'll begin to reveal itself to you, brother, as you move forward. You're in that repair and recover stage. One of the realest answers of all time. I've had the same sense. A lot of athletes, a lot of business people have had those things happen. Oftentimes mothers have it when they have the dream of giving childbirth. Some of that is obviously chemical. But it is a thing that sometimes

when this is this journey ends or identity changes, the chemistry in our body isn't just right. And there's just what's next. Is there a next? What's my value? All those things you said. I can just tell you that for everyone that listened to watch this today, they would all come back and you put the arms around you hug you go brother you just did it you just spent an hour doing it and i can see the emotion on your face now and so little did you know it's the ripple effect you know only you are capable of delivering the words and the messages and the insights you have because only you have gone down that road so i'm grateful for you and uh wow like just a wow so thank you and i'm here to help you by the way you know that we've got each other's numbers

anything i can do in this transitional phase for you can i wrap up with one one thought 100% yes okay so i i don't know if you tuned out after day 100 um do you know what we did the next day no i don't okay so um we did 101 did you really and um did you really yeah so we went live every day during the swim and and i think this is important because of who you are and you know your tagline of Max out and and we turned on the live the following day when I would have normally been swimming every single day and it was and it was just me in the pool by myself doing one more and I got asked the question a lot why did you do one more and I had a lot of people understand and then I had a lot of people just they were confused and I

I hate the, because the way I feed my family is I get on stage and we tell our story, we motivate and we do coaching and whatnot. And I love talking from stage and impacting people. And I don't appreciate the speakers that are out there telling, trying to teach a lesson when they haven't done it. they haven't been on the battlefield in the battle. And I felt like I would be a hypocrite if I told people that you can get up and you can do one more. And it, the campaign, day 100 was on a Tuesday and Sunday night, I said, I just got the most

intense impression, James, you need to do one more. And, and I was like, are you freaking kidding me? like I am broken like I am mentally exhausted I've been showing up for a quarter of a year why would I do one more and I got the impression it's not for you and and I felt like our team needed to show up and do one more because on your journey when you're broken and when you are at your limit I promise you you can get up and you can do one more and that one more might be by yourself and I don't know how many times you're going to have to get up and do one more by yourself but I promise you you can get up one more and I didn't feel like I I could bring integrity

to our story if I didn't go out and as a team we did one more and so we did we did 101 because I I want to lead from the front and I want to show people when you are broken and when you have reached your limit, you can do one more. James, the book I'm writing right now is called One More. You just stole the title of my next book. Ed, we're in a fight. I'm going to be out before you. And I'm adding your story to the book because I have the rights to this podcast. But I'm not exaggerating. I'm almost done. And I told you that you went on this journey. You did this. I know you did it for my audience, but you just did it for me. And so I'm sure the books will be very different in content.

But yeah, my book is the power of one more. And it'll be out in the fall. I'm so excited for that book. I'm just blown away that you just said that. That may be the craziest thing has ever been done on the show. And it was at the end. I hope everyone's still listening because that's a, that's a wow. Thank God you out of that, too.

To an unbelievable conversation. So thank you. That was a great conversation. Be sure to follow the Edmilet show on Apple and Spotify. links are in the show notes you'll never miss an episode that way welcome back to the show everybody so I'm excited for today because I'm going to cover a topic a lot of you have asked us to cover on the show basically what we're going to go through today is how your habits deliver on your goals so essentially it's got a little bit to do with goal setting but delivered

by the habits that we create I'm going to give you seven steps to making your goals a reality by delivering with them on habits that serve you and that is one of the things that you've got to evaluate first before we get into the seven steps is you it's great to have goals and outcomes in our life but if we don't develop habits that serve us and we don't have the ability to create new habits we're probably going to produce the same exact results over and over again you know about 90% of our choices and thoughts every day are identical and so that's why as a consequence we produce the same external results in life it's much more important to be focused on what's going on inside of us as opposed to what's going on outside of us

because everything once it leaves us is outside of our control we can control the things that are inside of us which are our habits and the reason habits matter so deeply I like James Clear's work on this and other people's including mine in my book The Power of One More

I have a whole chapter in there of how to develop healthy habits that serve you but one of the reasons habits matter is not just our day-to-day life but under pressure in life under stress we always respond reflexively And so it's our reflex to respond habitually. So there's a lot of autopilot in life.

That's true. It's why sometimes you can be driving and not even be thinking. And you kind of just pull right off the freeway, go to your house, take the left, take the right. You don't remember how you got home sometimes because you're on autopilot. You're on habit mode. But under stress and pressure, we respond to these habits that are ours. And so how do we develop these new habits that serve us as opposed to the ones that don't? You show me your habits, and I'm probably going to show you your life.

I'm going to show you the difference that's. separates people is what they do habitually. And so we're going to talk about how to shift that a little bit. So one thing a habit has to have to exist is conditioning, meaning you've got to be able to do it over and over and over again so that it can replace something that was there before. And so for me, when I look at an athlete, for example, that's very, very successful. If I deduce what their habits are and I develop the same habits, I've got a higher likelihood of producing the same results as that athlete if I behave in a certain way. In other words, there's a consequence for choices and behavior. And when we choose the right behavior over and over again, success is really not

that difficult. It's a collection of habits. And so if you wonder whether or not, you know, you can be successful or achieve your goals, that's really not the question. The question is whether you'll invest the time to get serious about changing the habits that would deliver on those goals. Goals without an attached habit are really useless, right? But actually having great habits with no goal is also useless. You just be going through the motions without producing a result. And so let's talk a little bit about the goal part first. Seven things that I want to cover today as it relates to goals and habits. Number one thing with your goals. Write this down. Specificity. You've got to get more specific with what exactly it is that you want. Imagine if you were going to invest in a company

and they put their annual report out and they go, yeah, we want to be profitable. Or we made some money. Would you invest in that company? You would want to know specifically exactly what was the top line revenue? What was the bottom line revenue? What are your expenses? What's your forecast specifically that you believe the dollar amount you're going to hit the street? You would never invest in a company that did not give you specific markers for what they've done and could not tell you specifically what they want to get done and what their goals and outcomes are. Yet most human beings are wandering generalities about what they want. I want to be more fit. I want to be happy. I want to be wealthy. I want to make a lot of money. What does that mean? You wouldn't invest in a company

that didn't have those types of specifics, yet every single day, we're walking around wondering whether success will invest in us. Success is not going to invest in you if you're general. By the way, your mind cannot go to work. Your brain cannot go to work on processing a non-specific general result. It doesn't know how to do it. It's got to be specific. I want 10 of those. I want to weigh 125 or 186. I want 12% body fat or whatever it might be. I want $100,000 in income. I'm going to have five meetings. These are specific things. Then you can build a habit backwards from them.

Now, I'm talking about even the people that I coach that pay me a significant amount of money, when we first encounter, I was working with a brand new person just the other day. And he said, I just want a win. I just want a win. And I said, okay, what's that win look like? And he goes, I want F you money. I said, okay, cool. I love that.

I love your passion for it. What's FU money? he didn't have an answer and that's why he doesn't have F you money right he doesn't have it and the reason he doesn't have it is he has never gotten specific about what that looks like and there's a power to getting specific right when you begin to get specific your brain wants to develop habits to deliver on that outcome if you repeat it over and over again why because your brain is constantly trying to conserve energy it's always trying to create a habit so that it doesn't have to think so that under pressure it'll just be reflexive. Okay? So your brain wants to form a habit to serve

your specific outcome. But when that outcome is non-specific and general, it'll always revert back on producing the nothingness that that goal is delivered by the habits you already have. So specificity is critical. So what I'm saying to you is when you review your goals, whether that be for the year, the month or the day. I want to have a good day. What does that mean clearly? The more clear, the more specific you are, the higher probability is that you'll deliver on it and that you will begin to create the habits that support it and reinforce it on a regular basis. Because remember, habits need conditioning. You developed this habit you have because you conditioned it over and over again. And the only way that it's going to get replaced with a better one is by conditioning it

over and over again. And the only way you're going to condition it is if it's specific, if It's specific, okay? So please, today I want to have a, I want to make 10 contacts. Then it's 10. Or if I'm going to sit on, I'm making it up, you're going to do curls in the gym, right? I want to do 10 curls at 30 pound dumbbells, whatever they might be, specific. And we're going to talk about this later, measurable and tangible, okay? And so whatever that is, you've got to have an exact amount you want so that we can produce an exact habit.

But then the reticular activating system in your brain knows how important this is to you and will begin to find the resources, the people, places, and the things that have always been around you, but that you've been oblivious to before to deliver on it. In the power of one more in my book, I talk about the matrix. I call the reticular activating system the RAS in your brain as the matrix because it's sort of what reveals to you what's important. It can actually slow things down when you're an athlete or create the habits that you need to deliver on it.

So this part of our brain's really critically important to program it. It can't program on a non-specific general thing. And I'm going to tell you, 99% of people, even the people who, you know, are one-on-one coached by me, aren't specific. And it's the major part of my work with them. Even athletes go, I want to win the fight. Specifically how, specifically when. I want to have a good game tonight.

Specifically, what does that mean? Three for four? Two hits. You want to shoot 68? Like exactly what does it look like? so that we can build the habits to back that up. And it might not even be that they want to score a number. It might be that I want to hit 10 crisp golf shots right on the button, 10 of them today, right?

Great. Or I want to only have 25 putts. Great. These are specific things that we begin to adjust. You'd be amazed at how much your brain wants to reserve energy. It doesn't want to think. It wants to build a habit, so it doesn't have to think anymore and expend energy on it. So that's the good news.

So specificity. Number two, what's the catalyst step? Just write down catalyst step. See, I think that at everything, James Clear has this thing where he talks about, you know, the two-minute rule, the two-minute idea, where if you could just get something done for two minutes, it's the beginning of a habit that can give you the catalyst to success. I call mine a catalyst step, meaning if you can just do one thing, oftentimes there's one move that if you make it, it can handle seven other things. So ask yourself, what's the catalyst step I could take today? So, like, there's this notion when you go to the gym. Some people say, showing up is half the battle.

No, it's not. It's not. It's not half the battle. However, it is part of the battle. And so it can be considered a catalyst step just getting to the gym. That's not half the battle. It's not even 20% of the battle. But it is part of the battle.

So perhaps a catalyst step is getting to the gym. Maybe a catalyst step is, you know, in your business life that you're going to, you know, pick the phone. own up five times in a given day or type seven emails, but it's some catalyst. You do something that's a catalyst to create change. John Maxwell talks in his book about the law of the catalyst that is a person in an organization. They're a catalyst for change. So ask yourself, have you got a specific goal of, I want to make $100,000 this year, or I want to weigh 180 pounds or whatever it might be. Ask yourself the next question. Am I specific enough? And what's the catalyst habit that I would need. What's the catalyst habit? For example, for me, my energy was very, very low years ago,

and I decided the catalyst habit that I could control was drinking a gallon of water a day. That was my outcome. Follow me. My outcome was one gallon of water a day. Okay. However, that was a habit that was difficult to create. So I said to myself, what's the catalyst step that could get me in the door? And that was this. Here's the catalyst step. I left at one liter bottle of water next to my bed, just a leader for when I woke up in the morning. And my catalyst habit was when I woke up, I drank that liter of water before I did anything else. That was a catalyst step to get me towards my outcome that was specific, which was drinking a gallon for the day, which was to liver on my overall goal, which was to feel more energy and health and vitality in my life.

So that's an example of a catalyst step. What is a catalyst that you could do to get you into the game to get you moving, much like James Clear's two-minute? idea. These are huge things because you can start going step by step. It might be just getting to the gym. It might be ordering that microphone for the podcast you're going to start. Just ordering the microphone, right? That's a catalyst step. Why does that matter? Because deliberation is delay. Strategy is oftentimes like strategic procrastination in the sense that what you're doing is you're going into all this planning phase, but really it's mocking. You need more planning. You need more time. You need more strategy. That's all an excuse not to take action. And what I'm saying to you is I cannot teach you how to drive a parked car. The most important thing you can do is to just get going. You've got to write an entire book. Maybe the catalyst step is you're going to write the first sentence of the book. I had a friend of mine when I was struggling writing the power of one more. I just couldn't get decided on what I wanted the book to be about exactly. He said, forget writing the book. He said, write out what you want the chapters to be first. You don't have to even have a title of the book yet. What would the chapters be? And so I wrote the chapters out, just the titles of the chapters, not what was in the chapters, not what I was going to say about them, not the content, not the quotes, not the title of the book, not even the flow of the chapters. Just what would the chapters be. And what that did is was a catalyst step to get me out of delay, to get me out of procrastination, to get me away from deliberating about it or strategizing about it or planning about it.

got me in motion. And then I wrote those chapters out. I went, no, that wouldn't be the order. I'll flip this. And then the next morning, I'll go, no, that wouldn't be a chapter. That could fit in that one, but I'm going to make this a chapter. And then all of a sudden, I started recording audios that would start in the book. But the catalyst habit that moved me was the idea of writing the chapters out. The catalyst habit of drinking the gallon a day was to get the one liter of water by my bed, right? And to stop deliberating, stop delaying, stop strategy session. that end up being procrastination sessions. Okay, so huge, huge deal.

Third, this is a big one. Identify the biggest obstacle or distraction to you getting the goal done. What will likely be the biggest obstacle or distraction? Because really, oftentimes in life, it's not about just adding a new habit for a goal. It's about eliminating one that's obstructing our outcome. So part of what we've already created

is a catalyst habit, so it's creating a new habit. The third thing, then, is identify what the obstacle is or the biggest distraction. So could that distraction be Netflix? Could it be your phone? Could it be a particular room you're in? Right. Could it be a person? Could it be a thought?

Right? Could it be something else you're doing that's no longer important to you that's taking up the time that is required to do this new thing you want to do? But if you don't identify what's obstructing you, what the distraction is, oftentimes you. will revert back. But you're a pretty powerful person immediately when you've got specificity to your outcomes, right? That's a big deal. You've developed a catalyst, step, or habit, and now you've removed and identified the biggest obstacle or distraction? That's a huge thing. And maybe the biggest obstacle or distraction is your lack of self-confidence, and you need to immerse yourself

in personal development as you get going. But to some extent, if you can, like for me, I know, for the most part, my distraction is getting into doing things that I call in the small. I get into the small things. I get into the weeds too much instead of staying in the big and creating the big things and doing the big things that move things. I would say also that prior to the change I've made recently with, you know, I've had some health challenges. So I've gotten off of social media, one of the best things I've done in a long time for my physical and mental health. But also, it's eliminated a huge distraction. It's just I can't imagine.

You can't even begin to imagine how much time you have when you're not in this stupid phone looking at stuff that doesn't mean anything. It's really incredible, or it doesn't even make you feel good anyway. So that phone was, maybe it's the news, right? Maybe it's your obsessing over the news. It could be a TV show you're too caught up in. If you wonder whether or not you can build a new habit or not or you could become obsessed with something, think about the last time you fell in love with some TV show on Netflix or Amazon and you streamed 18 of them in a row. So you're pretty good at staying focused, aren't you?

Right? You got pretty specific with what you wanted to do, but what that stuff can become is becomes the obstacle or distraction and not the thing that leads to our success. And so identify that. Number four, success leaves footprints. Listen, there's a pathway already there. There's no hacks or shortcuts to success, but there kind of are. I was getting a new phone yesterday, and the young man that worked in that store is 20 years old,

and he's got a baby. They got to know him pretty well as we were. sitting there, ended up being a few hours of getting a new phone. And I just loved him. And he had so many questions for me about success and life. And he just wants to be somebody so badly. Like he's got a fire burning in him that I didn't see with other people that worked in there, but I did see in him. He's, you know what I mean, that special one? He's got a fire. He wants to be somebody. He wants his life to be awesome. He wants to compete. He wants to be successful. He wanted to be wealthy. Like many of you do. And he said, is there any tips, Mr. Milet, or hacks or shortcuts?

I said, you know what? There's no shortcuts to success. And I said, well, there actually is. Success leaves footprints. He goes, what do you mean? I said, well, the quickest way is to find somebody who's already done what you want to do and get as close to them as you can. If getting as close to them as you can is reading their book, then you're closer than when you didn't read the book. If it's listening to their podcast, listen to their podcast and maybe you're closer to them there. Not just me, anybody. I'm not necessarily saying that with me. Or I said as a young person, see if you can't go to an event or a seminar they have. And best, go to work for them. If you can go to work, he goes, I don't know what industry I want to get into. What do you think? And I named a few

different industries. And I said, well, maybe I'll get into real estate. I said, well, if it were me and I was going to get into real estate, I'd find out who the top broker in this town is or in this area is, and I would go to work for them. And I'd work for as I have to work for to pay my bills to get up close and to learn. And I told him, I said, there's this great Chinese proverb. And I said, The proverb goes like this. If you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back because they've got footprints they've left. And so success leaves clues, but it leaves footprints, the exact steps to take.

So go find somebody who has taken those steps and learn from them and duplicate it and make it your own. Don't copy them, model them. There's a difference when you copy someone and you become like a knock-off version of them and it almost looks like you're doing an impression of another person. I've watched a lot of people do that. that comes across inauthent, not very congruent, not real, because we're all unique human beings or their own talents and nuances and idiosyncrasies.

And so when you just verbatim copy somebody, it's just a weaker knockoff version. But modeling somebody is slightly different. That's learning from them and then making it your own to fit your personality, your intensity level, your talents and giftedness. So model someone who's left the footprints. And that's much faster way to get to your goals. And the thing that you should be modeling in them are their habits or is their habits. What are their day-to-day habits they have that have delivered on the results they've gotten?

Because oftentimes, we're not sure what the habit is we need to form. But somebody else does know. And so whether that's reading their book, listening to their podcast, going to their event, if they have one, or going to work for them. And for the record, I'm not talking about me. I mean, I wouldn't be the person to teach you real estate. I'm just giving you an example. So whatever that industry is, find the best person in it and get as much information from them as you possibly can.

With the advent of social media, that is one of the great gifts that you could follow somebody who's in a particular industry or craft you want. And people are pretty free with giving away information now for free on their podcast, on their social media. So you can begin to learn from them. Number five, depth perception. I think most people don't realize that they're much closer to their dream and their goal than they realize.

And so most people don't have a lack of vision or a goal. What they have is a depth perception problem. They think they're further away than they are from the goal because they think it's so far away. And by the way, it could be years away, but you think it's really far away. Because you think it's so far away, you behave like it. You've created thoughts, patterns, and belief systems that will always keep it there that far away. because you think it's so far away. And it's a lie. The truth of the matter is you're probably one decision away, one mentor away, one new habit away, one new strategy away, one new catalyst

habit away from completely changing your life. And so there's a depth perception issue for most people, which is they believe these things they want in their life are further. That doesn't mean it doesn't take a long time. Doesn't mean you don't need aggressive patience where you're aggressive but patient. It does mean though you should be in a hurry. Not enough people are in a hurry. I meet a lot of people. They're too casual. They walk too slow. They talk too slow. They don't really believe anything's coming around the corner that's going to change their life. So as a consequence, they don't look for it. But what if you lived in anticipation that you're going to meet that next person or that next account or that one client that's going to do tons of referrals, or that one

idea, or that one thought, or that one mentor, or that one relationship, or that one emotion, that one strategy? What if you lived in anticipation of that, your death perception change? You said, I'm one away. I'm the power of one more away. Then your reticular activating system goes to work on finding it because you believe it's true and it's important to you. If you're oblivious to it and you think it's not going to happen forever, those very things, people, places, thoughts, etc., could present themselves to you and you will not see them. I always give this analogy, which I know you've heard before, but if you ever buy a new car, it becomes important to your RAS. I bought a Tesla once and I remember everywhere on the road I could see Tesla's after I bought it.

I mean, I'm driving my family crazy. There's another one. There's a red one. There's a white one. Other side of the freeway, three lanes over. There goes another, right? You've all had that happen. Why?

Because they became important to me because I owned one. All of a sudden, my RAS reveals to me even things out of the corner of my eye over here. Those things were always there. Those Teslas were always there. Why didn't I see them before? Because I didn't have them as important to me and I didn't expect to. So if your depth perception is that it's years and years away, these Teslas of your life, you will miss. And these Teslas come in the forms of the one idea, the one person, the one client, the one relationship, the one thought, the one emotion.

You miss them. They were delivered to you. You didn't hear them. You didn't see them or you didn't feel them because they weren't important to you and you didn't believe strongly. Your RAS is a prover. It's going to prove you right. It's going to find the things. It's almost like you have a belief system.

It's like the top of a table. What the IRS is trying to do, the RAS, is trying to find references to prove you right, to put legs under it until it's stable. And then once it's stable, that's why, like if you're debating politics with somebody or something, they had an opinion, and then their brain went to find the references to prove them right. And now they're like an immovable object, and you shouldn't even be talking to them. You know what I'm talking about, right? So their RAS reinforced it.

And then their algorithm reinforces it. And then all their friends reinforced. They got all these legs under the table. They're an immovable object because their RAS is going to prove them right. So if you strongly believe your goals and dreams and vision are right around the corner that you're the power of one more away, then your RAS goes to find those Teslas. But if you believe it's far away, it doesn't see them even when they present themselves to you. And that's why some people become mega successful and other people don't. It's not about talent.

It's almost never about talent. It has a lot to do with our mindset, our mental programming, our vision, and our goals and our habits. One of the things to deliver on a goal is the habit of accurate depth perception, accurately using your RAS to find things, and that just makes your goals important to you. See, go all the way back to number one. If I have nonspecific goals, I want to get in shape. I want to be wealthy. What's my RAS going to find to process that?

Nothing. But if it's, I'm going to weigh 180 pounds and I'm going to be whatever shredded, all of a sudden your RAS listens to the article on the new protein that's out. or sees the new workout, or introduces you to a trainer, or a workout person, or a book on something. They were always there, but now you're seeing them because they're important to you, okay? And of course, maybe it creates new associations for you, make new friends that are in that space, and you're elevated because of that. So depth perception matters, the RAS matters.

Here's the last thing I'll tell you on that. I don't know, actually know exactly what the data is on this, but there's a bunch of data that suggests that anything a human being, gets focused on for a year, they become in the top 5% in the world at that craft. Isn't that fascinating? The power of a human being who becomes obsessively focused over a year or two ends up being in the top 5% of whatever that is that they choose to get obsessed with. You could have never ever, like I'll give an example. I never had ridden a horse in my life once when I was a little boy, but I knew nothing about horses a year or two ago. Like literally nothing, maybe three years ago. And then I started riding. I didn't know the difference

between a bridle and a halter. I didn't know how to lunge a horse. I didn't know what posting was. I didn't know about hooves. I didn't know about, you know, the veterinary things, the chiropractic stuff with horses. I didn't understand the reigning aspects, using your legs as pressure, all these different things.

But I became pretty obsessed with horses and riding horses. And although I'm not a great rider, I'm probably in the top 5%. Why? Because 90% of people don't know anything. Right? So I've eliminated them right off the top. And then just the fact that, you know, I've gotten okay at riding, I'm not ever going to be a roper or a jockey or any of those other kind of things.

Those are the top one or two percent. I'm not going to get to that. But you know what? If I were 18 years old or 15 years old, maybe I could have got to the top one or two percent. But you can get to the top five at about anything with obsessive focus. I mean, if you know nothing right now, nothing at all about playing chess, never played in your life. But you came obsessed with playing chess. The rules of the game.

You played it over and over again. You read the books. You studied the pros. You may never be the grand champion, but you can get better than 95% of the people at it. And so don't underestimate total immersion in something and how great you could get at, whatever it is. Fitness, exercise, reading, podcasting, writing a book, starting a business, getting into any industry. I believe you could get into any industry as long as it takes advantage of some of your talents and giftedness. And if you become obsessed in that industry, you get the right mentor, you get specific on your goals.

you eliminate the distractions. You have the catalyst habits in your life. You have the right depth perception. I believe you can get to the top 5% of that industry. Let me say that to you again. You could choose any new career. This is my opinion, with rare exception, as long as you have some giftedness towards that craft or proclivity for it, and start from scratch. And in a year or two, if you're obsessed with learning and growing and trying and doing all the things we're talking about here, I believe you can get to the top 5% of that industry. I believe the data suggests this. may take a year or two, but you start to eliminate all the unfocused people. First of, you limit all the people not in that industry, then all the people who quit, then all the people who can't

deal with a failure, then this, then that, and you start getting pretty darn good. I think you get to the top 5%. And then from there, it's a dog fight to who the best in the world. Is it anything? That requires hard work, refining of the game, good fortune, blessing, momentum. But top 5%, you can get there. And I think you ought to walk in with that type of confidence. I'm going to get into real estate. You know what, in a year or two, I think I can get to the top 5%. I'm going to get into finance. I'm going to get into writing books, whatever it might be. I think you get to the top 5% if you do these things. I can't promise you that, but the data suggests just about anything, something as goofy as riding horses part-time. You get to the top 5%. You eliminate all the people who don't do it,

who aren't even trying, who've quit, and you slowly move your way up the ranks. Number six, where performance is measured, performance improves. Now that you've got your goals and you've got some of these habits that you're reinforcing. okay you have to measure it you have to measure your performance or that of other people but let's just take you you got to measure regularly if you're changing that way we got to weigh in regularly do your body fat regularly you've got to diagnose your workouts are you getting stronger are you getting weaker what body parts are getting better if you're starting to write a book you've got to measure the progress of writing the book if you should be having written 30% of the

book might now it needs to be measured over that period of time if you're going to make a hundred thousand dollars this year, you should be at XYZ through the year. If you're going to save a million dollars in your lifetime, you're measuring the amount of savings you have. If you're not measuring a performance regularly, it will not improve. But when you do measure something regularly, typically it improves. Go back to investing in that company. You want that company to be reporting to you if you've invested in it over time of how they're doing. Because if they don't, it's unlikely they're going to improve. Human beings, when they are measured, they improve. So whether you lead people or are leading yourself, one of the greatest gifts you could give yourself is by challenging yourself to have your performance measured.

The numbers matter. The leaders board matter. The scoreboard matters. You've got to have the courage to look at the scoreboard of your life. Look at the scoreboard of your weight loss. Look at the scoreboard of your new business. Look at the scoreboard of your wealth. The scoreboard of your relationship. Where it's measured, it improves. When you hide from measuring it, it's not going to improve. So you got to measure it. And lastly, seven, you have to have an appropriate celebration and recognition when you do achieve a goal along the way. See, Listen, your brain needs to be rewarded appropriately when you achieve something. So a lot of people, I did this when I was young, I would just achieve and go, okay, on to the next one, on to the next one, on to the next one. That's a formula for burnout because your brain eventually goes, I don't want to do this anymore. I'm not getting anything out of it. I'm getting no dopamine out of this. If I don't get any dopamine, I don't want to do it again.

So you've got to give yourself appropriate celebrations and recognition. if you're leading other people, appropriate celebration, appropriate recognition for their achievements. And I'll talk about appropriate lastly in a minute. But what has to happen is your brain has to say, I got a reward, I got my dopamine hit. The good news is all the data tells us that we get more dopamine as we approach the finish line towards a goal, as we actually get when we get there. So just the pursuit of greatness can give you the dopamine that you're looking for. But when you get there, for most people, it falls off the charts. It's like a crash. It wasn't what I thought. thought it would be. I'm on to the next one. I'll celebrate the next time. And you're training

yourself to not really want to keep doing it over and over again. So you've got to have appropriate celebration and you've got to do recognition of yourself. Now, on the other side of that, I've seen people with completely over-the-top celebration. They hit their best month ever in sales and they go to vacation for two weeks just when they've got momentum going. That's insane to me. You just created momentum. What you're doing is destroying your success, sabotaging it so that when you get back, you're back to ground zero again. So most people's problem is not that they don't appropriately celebrate a little bit. It's that they overly celebrate.

They celebrate too much. They flinch. They recognize because as they approach their finish line, they didn't set up a new goal and a new outcome that stretches them out even further. This is a major mistake. I got there and I just didn't know. No, as you're approaching the finish line, get there. Don't move it.

Don't move the finish line because if you move the finish line, you never get there. You never get the dopamine. But when you, the celebration, get there, celebrate and move it forward. What's the next thing? What's the next number? Where are we going next? And again, it's got to be specific. We've got to eliminate distractions.

We need a catalyst habit. We need these other things. But please appropriately celebrate. 20% of you won't celebrate at all and you're eventually going to burn out and train yourself not to go for it. The other ones over celebrate. They take too much time in between. between, right? They sabotage the very results they got. Usually most winners, real achievers,

don't celebrate enough. And people that are always going to struggle in their life, man, I remember this just coming up in business. I was like, so you just had your best month ever and you took four days off? Or you just had your best quarter ever and you stopped doing all the things that created that quarter. Like you think you're done. Like you think it's all going to work out now, that you're over the hump, that you don't have to work like that anymore. successful people do what they did to get there and more the next time. Unsuccessful people stop doing what it required for them to get there in the first place and they do less. I never understood that. Let me say that to you again. I want you to evaluate. You just hit your

sales goal. You just hit your financial goal. What did you do to get there? And what you did to get there, do it again and more to produce the higher result. It's going to require more. But what most people think is they think, oh, I got there. I have to do that anymore. I've got momentum. I'm in a different position now. Things are okay. I'm past the scary phase. I don't think so. So you've got to do more than what it required. And that's why you'll see great athletes. I think of like the Kobe Bryant's and their work ethic of the 3 a.m. workout. Everybody on the team went to practice, he'd do that 3 a.m. workout, then go to the team practice, then come back after lunch, then again. And that's after winning championships. That's after the titles. That's after the

recognition. And that's why he was Kobe Bryant and other very talented players, names we don't remember. They won a championship or they got to the NBA, but for some reason, they overly celebrated, and they didn't re-up their game. Here's what the great ones know, that the habits that got me there will keep me here, and I'll have to create new habits and better habits to get me to the next level. The people that lose abandon the very habits that got them there in the first place. Is that crazy? Think about that again. If habits are what are delivering on it, you've finally got your habits right, you finally produce the results, and you stop the habit, you somehow think that it's just going to keep going? This is the delusion that's happening to people. And this is why

most people are successful for a while. And then they're not. And the reason they're not long term is they stop doing what got them there. Really successful people say, these are the habits that got me here, what's the new, even better improved habit that would get me higher and better? And so that's how you've got to look at it, upgrading your habits to get to the next level, not stop doing the things that got you there. And then the last thing I just want to kind of give you the, maybe the warning of someone who's a little bit further down the road, something that happens to us insidiously when we achieve or when we get better. Ironically, getting better can actually cause us to be very hard on ourselves. Most people will never tell you this. Because what happens is when you grow

and get better as a person, you begin to look back at the former version of yourself and judge it, judge them, and decisions or choices you made. Because now you've acquired more wisdom and information and maturity, maybe experience. We have a tendency to judge other people or judge ourselves unfavorably when in fact us three or four, five years ago didn't have this level of experience, didn't have that level of wisdom, didn't have the information or the maturity. So to judge yourself for lack of success in the past or failures in the past isn't fair to you because you didn't have all that wisdom. You didn't have the information. You hadn't been down the road. And also to judge other people who have not acquired your level of wisdom yet or

information or experience isn't a healthy thing either. Because someday, if they go down the road, you've gone down, they'll acquire that as well. So just be good. guarded against judgment of your former self or judgment of other people so that you can keep that mindset. I've been saying this lately so much. There's this great Gandhi quote that says, I will not allow you to walk through my mind with your dirty feet. And one of the things that have the dirtiest feet in life is judgment and assessment of ourselves or other people. It's one of the worst things you can do for your mindset. And so sometimes when we begin to achieve, we become more judgmental of other people because they're not where we are or friends of ours

that haven't come along the same journey or we become judgmental of our former self. And none of that judgment is healthy nor justified and does not serve you. And so make sure you protect yourself from judgment as well. You know,