THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Innovative Strategies to Design Your Life and Business with Dan Martell
Episode Date: October 15, 2024How To Turn Your Darkest Moments Into a Life of Success This interview is going to shake your perspective on what’s possible in life. My guest today is Dan Martell, a guy who went from being on the ...brink of destruction to building a multi-million dollar empire. We're talking about a man who, at 16, was ready to end it all—literally staring down the barrel of a gun. And yet, through sheer will and a few pivotal moments, he transformed that darkness into an extraordinary life of wealth, success, and fulfillment. In our conversation, Dan opens up about his past like never before. From growing up in a broken home to running from the law, he shares how one roadblock—and a stuck gun—gave him a second chance at life. What’s truly incredible is that Dan didn’t just survive his darkest moments. He used them as fuel to build a life he could’ve never imagined. Today, he’s a highly successful entrepreneur, best-selling author, and someone I’ve had the honor of coaching personally. But this isn’t just about Dan’s story of survival. It’s about the lessons he’s learned along the way. We dig deep into how he developed the resilience and mindset to go from nothing to a nine-figure net worth, the tactics he used to “buy back” his time, and the emotional and mental work that allowed him to become the man he is today. Dan didn’t just learn how to run a business—he learned how to live a life of purpose, balance, and unlimited creation. Here’s what you’ll take away from this episode: The pivotal moments that saved Dan’s life and changed his trajectory forever. How to "buy back your time" and avoid becoming a prisoner to your own success. The role of faith and how it has been a guiding force in Dan’s journey. Why emotional control is the key to thriving in business and life. Practical steps to break free from the past and design a future you’re proud of. Dan’s journey from the edge of despair to living a life of abundance is proof that no matter where you start, you have the power to create something extraordinary. His story will move you, and the lessons he shares are ones you can apply to your own life, starting today. Tune in, get ready to be inspired, and remember—you’re only one decision away from completely changing your life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Ontario. This is the
Admiring Show.
Welcome back to the show everybody.
I'm so excited today because this is the
first interview I've actually done
in this location physically that you see
on Zoom all the time. But the real
reason I'm excited is the man that I get a chance
to have the conversation with. He's somebody that I
believe in a great deal.
I'm very proud of.
I've been honored to have a chance to coach him behind the scenes the last few years
and I don't take that likely the responsibility of coaching somebody.
And the reason this interview is going to be incredible today is because this man's content
and his knowledge level about so many different topics is so vast and impressive
that you're
gonna enjoy this entire ride today. He's got a book that I read cover to cover in
two days called Buy Back Your Time. It crushed when it came out originally.
Thousands and thousands of copies sold and he is a serial entrepreneur.
Unbelievably very wealthy and successful man but he's diverse in his content and
his message. Proud that he's here today. Dan Martell, welcome brother.
Thank you Ed, it's an honor.
This is a beautiful place.
You've built literally heaven on earth.
This is so cool.
Thank you, man.
Appreciate this.
So you built your own version of heaven on earth.
I, we're going to go a lot of directions today
because we can go business, we can go life, relationships,
but even physical because you look great.
Thanks.
But I think I don't usually do this on the show because I don't think there's
that much interest level in people's stories typically, but yours is so
extraordinary that I think to go to a nine figure net worth like you've done,
you know, unbelievable success you've had at a young age too.
I think we got to go back and then see the other Dan Martell when you were young.
I mean like let's even go all the way back to like the 16 year old one.
Yeah. So tell us about him.
I mean, I grew up in a really challenging home. There's no other way to say it.
My mom was an alcoholic and I struggled. I had a lot of energy. I had a severe anger issue.
I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 11.
So at a young age, all I heard was,
there's something wrong with Dan.
And that caused a lot of challenges for me in school,
with my brothers and sisters, with my parents.
And at 12 years old, I got taken out of my house
due to my anger issue and put into crisis centers.
I pretty much was raised in the system,
foster care, grew homes, and one bad decision
led to another bad decision to a point
where I ended up a drug addict as a teenager.
And by the time I was 16,
I had ended up in juvenile detention twice.
It's kind of crazy because it got so bad that there
was a point where I didn't even feel
like I deserved to breathe the air I was breathing.
And I had decided to run away.
I stole a car.
I had a handgun in a backpack.
And I took an exit off the highway on my way,
trying to get away from the city I was living in.
And the cops were looking for me.
And I ran into a routine roadblock.
And I took off.
And maybe I watched too many car movies,
because I thought maybe I could get away
and ended up in this neighborhood.
But you were in a full blown car chase.
Oh, full car chase.
Yeah.
I stopped at the roadblock, lied to them, said it was my mom's car.
I didn't have my driver's license.
I take off.
And I ended up in this neighborhood, and I saw an open garage door.
And I thought, I mean, again, I'm high and drunk.
I don't even know what's going on.
But I think to myself, I can get into that garage.
Maybe I could close it. And again, too many cars,
movies. And I came in the driveway going way too fast. I
just smashed inside the house.
And in that moment, I decided to go for the gun, go for the gun
and pointed at the police and let them take my life.
And for whatever reason, as I was pulling on the
gun and pulling on the gun, it got stuck. And next day, I knew
the cops ran up and grabbed me. I mean, I didn't even touch the
ground. They flew across the front yard and they first me and
threw me in the back of the cop car. And it was the next
morning in this small town jail cell. I woke up.
I didn't have much faith then.
And I just said, God, if you're real,
I could use some help right now.
Wow.
I could use some help.
So I got sentenced to two years.
Due to the severity, I had some other things on my record.
And I ended up getting sentenced to five months in an adult prison.
Well, I got sentenced for two years, but I was in this adult prison that had a juvenile
section in a place called St. John Regional Correctional Center.
And anybody that's ever been to prison, it's probably the worst thing you can do to somebody.
And what changed for me was I got in a fight.
There was this breakfast situation where this kid Kirk,
you know, starts, yeah, just started mouthing off
and the thing in prison,
there's certain words you just don't say
and he said one of those words and you know, it's just,
and you know, we got thrown in the hole,
solitary confinement.
Whoa. Yeah, And this is adult.
We're talking in your underwear, concrete bed, stainless steel, toilet and sink.
And you're 17 or 18. I'm 16. 16.
And they don't tell you how long you're in there for.
It's kind of their way of punishing you.
So I was there for about three days.
And on the third day, the door opens
and there's this officer named Brian standing there.
And he wasn't there when the fight happened.
And he was, I didn't have an older brother.
I didn't have somebody to look up to.
The people I was hanging out with twice my age
teaching me stuff I shouldn't have been taught.
So Brian was a guard, an officer that,
if you respected him, he'd respect you.
Look the other way if you want an extra dessert or whatever.
And he's super disappointed and he opens the door and he says,
follow me. And I kind of, you know, follow him out.
He gives me my clothes. And as we're walking back,
anybody that's ever been to any prison, like you follow the line,
you don't go anywhere as your hands behind your back.
And we go past the door to the cell
block, which is where you know, I stayed to the next door, which
is the guard unit. And no inmate is allowed in I mean, never
seen it's the other side of the one way mirror that was in our
cell block. And he asked me to follow him. And I thought it was
a test. And I follow him in there and he sits me down. He pulls up a chair and he looks at
me in the eyes. And he goes, What are you doing in this place?
And I said, What do you mean? I said, I got in a fight with
Kirk and they threw us in the hole. He says, not that he goes,
What are you doing in this place? And I said, Well, I got
in a high speed chase and you know, drugs.
And he goes, it makes no sense to me, Dan.
You don't belong here.
And if nobody's ever told you this, I believe in you.
Wow.
And you need to get out of here.
I remember him saying you need to get out of this.
Brian was an angel.
It planted a seed in me. I can't even explain it. It was it wasn't even
had anyone ever said that to prior. I'd never heard. Yeah.
Nobody. Yeah, I was I was Dan that always got in trouble. I was Dan that
couldn't play with my neighbor, my friends. I was Dan that had a special
class in school. I was Dan that just always got caught, always angry Dan.
And all this potential was buried in you.
What's amazing about you, just unpack this just real quick.
Spoiler alert, he's worth nine figures,
has millions of people follow his social media,
incredible marriage and family,
and a book that sold hundreds of thousands of copies,
et cetera, et cetera.
So the reason I wanted him to start with this,
because by the way, some of that I knew, but not all of it.
I didn't know about Brian.
And the reason I start with that is when you meet you,
like I remember when we first met, and by the way,
before I met you, people had told me about you.
Absolutely zero chance that that was your background, meeting you.
Clean cut dude, very successful, unbelievably polite, kind, kind of quiet and gentle. Like he is. He's also, there's a beast in there
too, though. But the idea that that's who you once were and this is what you've
become is like a mind blowing thing for me that you are basically if that gun
isn't stuck between the seat, you're probably not here breathing anymore. In
that cop chase, right? That thing stuck. I mean, I'm picturing this young boy trying to pull this thing out
and his life is about to end and he's decided it.
Flash forward, you're sitting here in my saloon and we've become great friends
and you're becoming this huge influence in the world.
He speaks on John Maxwell stages, Tony Robbins stages.
I mean, he's become this huge.
Even as I say that back to you, is there a little part of you that just
it doesn't even and I say that back to you, is there a little part of you that just doesn't even,
and I can't even tell you
if I'm not proof that there's somebody bigger helping, like,
I just, I get emotional because I think my two boys. Yeah. Why though?
What about that makes you emotional?
Just how much I love them. and none of this would be here.
I wouldn't, if I didn't get through that dark, dark period,
that really just started me on a path.
Like this is a crazy part, it started me on a path of
self, like personal development.
I would have never did the work to become the person
who my wife would even been with.
My wife is an angel.
She if I met her a year before I met her, she would not have put up with me.
So like I go back and then I look at my brothers, my brother, Pierre.
Like we all went through issues as kids.
He's one of the most successful real estate guys in Canada right now.
I want to talk about your brother real quick.
So there's this story because by the way, all of our lives if we're looking for them,
God does send people to send us a message.
He does.
I really believe that at different times.
Now whether or not you're open to it at the time, receptive to it at the time,
whether it's even the right time, but there are moments in our lives where it can change.
By the way, your life could change right now listening to this or what you just make a decision right now
that you're going to change your life and that the lessons we're going to cover in a few minutes
because we're going to go into lessons and tactics and strategies.
So you could make that decision right now.
You could already be doing great and go, you know what?
There's another level of happiness, bliss, influence, wealth, abundance, success, faith.
And you can make that decision as we're talking today too.
That's why I wanted you here.
It's not by, you're the first person in person in this place that I've had and I
wanted it to be you for that reason.
But one of these other people, and then this shows a lot about you,
this story as well is your brother.
And what does $63 and 50 cents mean to you when I say that to you?
They're gonna get me going.
Yeah, I wanna get you going.
My brother is one of the best entrepreneurs
and I know a lot of great entrepreneurs,
one of the best entrepreneurs.
But when I was a kid, what happened was
is that I had did this break and enter
and that's where I got the gun.
I stole it from a house. Wow, wow. I know I had so much shame around this break and enter. And that's where I got the gun. I stole it from a house.
Wow, wow.
I know, I had so much shame around this stuff, Ed.
It took me 15 years to even share this story.
I didn't want people to know,
but I also realized that that is probably
one of the most powerful things I have.
So my brother calls me up the night and he goes,
"'You can't come home, the police are waiting.'"
My mom had found the guns called the police.
And he tells me where to meet him
at this old auditorium concrete building,
this parking lot kind of out of the way.
And we met up there, I was on my pedal bike.
He pulls up and he had this old 50cc, you know,
road bike he got when he was 15 or whatever.
And he pulls out all the money he had emptied
his pockets $63 and 50 cents. And he says it's not much but
you got to get out of town. And it just he never knew for years
how much it meant to me like for years I thought I never I never
he never said I love you. We didn't grow up that way but it just the the act just had such an impression and then you fast forward this is I think I'm two years into my first successful company close to being a millionaire and I was putting everything back into the business back into the business I'd save a little bit of money. And I'm 20, 27, 28, 28 years old.
Took me a while to find success in business.
And my brother calls me up and decides to quit his job.
He worked at this place for six years.
He was a mechanic.
He wanted to buy the shop.
The guy lied to him.
You know, eventually he said,
I'm not selling you the shop.
And he says, well, I quit.
And he calls me and he never calls me.
And I go to his house. I said, what do you want to do? He goes,
I think I want to be a home builder, which is he was a mechanic.
And I'm like, dude, why do you want to be? He goes, I actually hate working on cars.
I'm like, probably a good thing to figure out this young. And he goes,
but I have no money.
I said, I got you.
And I wrote him a check for everything I had
in my savings account, $173,000.
And I said, bro, I don't care if you ever pay me this back,
just always make the right decision
and I'll never be upset.
My dad found out, he said,
that's the dumbest thing you've ever done.
I can't believe you did this.
This is how brothers end up never talking ever again.
It became one of the most beautiful decisions ever.
That is incredible.
Yeah. That is incredible.
The reason why though,
this is what most people don't know,
is because I was invested in him and him and I,
we ended up doing personal development together.
You did.
We were reading books, We were going to seminars.
We traveled around. It was looking back and just talking to so many people that didn't have that kind of relationship with their brother.
It's one of the things I'll always cherish.
You know, this reminds me a little bit of where I want to go now.
I want everyone to have the stage set.
That is an insane story that he gives you $63.50 out of his pocket, gives you everything.
You come back years later, give him everything out of years, but it's a buck seventy three thousand, right?
But it's rare that you get a chance to have two functioning, high functioning entrepreneurs and personal people in a room together.
It is. And I had a chance earlier this year, Andy Fersella and I sat in his bar for my show.
One of the best.
Yeah, it was one of the best podcasts ever.
Yeah.
And we just kind of chopped it up a little bit about tactics and strategies, thoughts, concepts, whatever.
And you and I have obviously talked a lot about this behind the scenes because I was honored you chose me to help coach you.
Thank you.
And I've watched you take things to a level that are even beyond even what I saw for you this quickly.
And so let's start about that.
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I'm looking, I look back like on my life because I, I, you know, you know
about my story and I'm there's a part of me, like it's hard to explain
what happened with me.
Like that's the weird thing about our space is like, let me give you all the steps.
But there's a there's a big part of it that you can't explain.
And all I can feel in that moment is God's grace, that literally I have this dream
that I have when I pray where God literally picks me up and carries me
and then just puts me back down in a particular place.
So I just got goosey telling you that.
So I know that's important part of your life.
The other part of it
though, that I can conclude is that I worked much harder on
myself for many years than I actually did at my business
skills for a while. And I want you to talk about that a little
bit. Like how important is it that someone truly like you just
said, you and your brother invest the real time and working
on themselves.
Talk about that for a second.
I think most people would be super unimpressed with me
if they knew how much effort
wanting to be becoming who I am.
Like I worked at, I don't actually think I'm that skillful,
I'm just willing to do the work on a daily basis.
And even in business,
it took me seven years to finally ever make a profit
and that was two failed companies. I think most people when they start in business, it took me seven years to finally ever make a profit. And that was two failed companies.
I think most people, when they start in business, the first five to seven years
is just to get good. Yeah.
Like just to get good.
And some people want to be rich right away.
I agree. Like, don't you think social media contributes to that?
It took I see it all the time.
Like these these kids that come out to me and they're like, I want to be a
this literally 16 year old kid said, I wanna be worth 100 million by 30.
I was like, I don't know how, good luck.
I mean, like, I don't know you,
but it's gonna require some deep work
because you emotionally, skill wise,
you just don't have it, it's gonna take that.
So, you know, and anytime I go speak to like
detention centers, to at-risk youth,
they're always asking me like,
what is it that made you different?
And it was just that, you know,
and I learned this from Jim Rohn,
you know, we don't create success, we attract success.
Like you have to become a person
who can bring into your world other,
and I think this is interesting.
I think most people feel guilty when they attract it.
So I have a friend she she naturally has this essence where people want to help her
and she pushes it away sometimes self-sabotage because she doesn't feel worth it.
I relate to that. I've never said that on a show before and I didn't realize I had that until maybe
the last three or four years but I think I've never thought that about me.
Like I've worked hard on myself, my identities, this or that or the other thing.
And I think there's different elements. I've never said this.
We should talk about this on any show ever, including my own.
I've worked really hard on my own identity to the point where I can attract success, right?
Like you've just said and feel that, you know, people want to help you.
People want to help me. However.
I think there's been this little element from trauma when I was a little guy
that I haven't fixed that is quietly working
oddly behind the scenes to sabotage my success.
And I didn't realize it until maybe even this year where people go, well, that's impossible. We've had all my success. And I didn't realize it until maybe even this year
where then people go, well, that's impossible.
You've had all this success.
Well, maybe I could have had more.
Maybe I could have enjoyed it more.
Maybe I could have created less chaos
and stress along the way.
But I think that dude is still sometimes there even for me.
Do you have any of that or is that dude gone forever?
Tell me he's always there.
I have to go to God.
I have to go to God.
Me too.
I have to.
I ask myself several times a day,
a question that keeps me on track.
Cause if it was left to Dan, trauma Dan issues,
feeling like he's worth nothing, I would self-sabotage.
And that question is, how can I appreciate even more
God's grace and guidance in this moment? See when those- Say it again, say it again. how can I appreciate even more God's grace and guidance in this moment?
See when those-
Say it again, say it again.
How can I appreciate, and you gotta add the even more,
comma, even more God's grace and guidance in this moment.
Because when opportunities like you texting in
through me to John Maxwell, my heart stops.
I'm imposter syndromes coming up left, right, and center.
And I gotta go, how can I appreciate this moment even more?
God's grace, God's guiding me.
And it's interesting because I think he on purpose
closes doors that we're not supposed to like,
and we don't realize it,
but that's the only way he can guide us
into those positions where we can have other people support.
So the idea of, okay, my agreement to myself is every day,
I will control the controllables.
I will work on myself.
I will do all caps, the work.
And then also when those opportunities come into my life,
accept them.
Like I just had such a hard time.
People would wanna help.
Until my book came out, okay,
but a year and a half ago,
I didn't ask anybody for anything.
Ever before. I could feel that anybody for anything. Ever, before.
I could feel that.
I could tell you.
Never.
I could tell even when we were coaching regularly monthly,
your discomfort with even asking me for an introduction
to somebody or anything like that.
Never did.
Why did you write, why of all the books though, now,
did you write, buy back your time? Like that's I mean by the way it's
outstanding it's not a book like oh good concept like actual tactic after tactic
but why does that matter? Do you feel like you found a good
rhythm in your life of time, productivity, all that other stuff and what would be
one thing you'd share from it? Yeah the everybody that asked me about
the tactics of the business side, you know,
I can go strategy on execution,
but none of that's possible without building a business
I don't grow to hate.
And I did this to myself.
My first success where I became a multimillionaire,
I built a business that I became a prisoner to.
And it was so painful that weight
that it caused me my relationship,
it cost me my health, it cost me the,
my parents didn't even wanna talk to me,
I was just a horrible, I was just so in it
and I didn't know why it was working,
I was scared it was gonna fall apart
that I just did what I could do.
And what happened was is that I had to learn how to,
cause I feel like Ed, you're the same way, man.
Like when we do something, we're in,
I'm looking at this property and I'm just like,
okay, this is Ed's in.
And well, how do I do it in a way
where I don't wake up one day
and just absolutely sabotage my whole life?
I got two young boys, I've got a wife, I've got friends,
I've got commitments I've made to people.
And I had to figure out a different way to do it.
So the big premise of the book, the buyback principle,
is we don't hire people to grow our business,
we hire people to buy back our time.
Because if we hire people to grow our business,
it sucks our time.
But if we use our calendar first to figure out
where we're spending our time and hire people
to get that time back, then the bigger we grow, the more time we have.
Most people have a hard time letting go.
I was one of those people.
And every time that I messed up, I got overwhelmed,
I created chaos in my life,
I had to go back to my calendar and just figure out.
And for a lot of people, it's not, it's very inexpensive.
You just gotta be willing to realize
that you're not that important.
Like we all, I mean, dude, I used to think
if I didn't touch it, it's gonna fail
and I gotta be involved in this.
And can you invite me to that meeting?
And before you approve that, can you call me first
and talk about, bottlenecks are called bottlenecks
because they're at the top.
Is it worth it, this level? Because you're at a real high level. And be honest, like
if it's not, tell me like right now you're you were just a
Tony's event. You were with Maxwell before that you're flying
here to see me. You know, you got a team you got now the I
guess I call it pressure of notoriety of being on social
media, you got to I know what this is like you have to manage
your own money. You know, there's things that come with the trappings of it. I just had a guy
that I was interviewing, I think if I interviewed him or not or I'm prepping for an interview, he
goes there the happiness zone believe it or not is people that lack financial resources typically
are unhappy because they're struggling most of the time in their life and suffering. Then the mega
wealthy are actually also equivalently not happy because of all of the tra in their life and suffering. Then the mega wealthy are actually also equivalently
not happy because of all of the trappings that come with massive abundance. His theory was the people
that are the most happy have their financial means met plus a little bit more. My experience has not
been that. My mega wealthy friends and you're one of them. Half are really, really miserable.
The other half are not.
They live in abundance.
They give, they contribute to people.
Is it worth it?
And be honest about it.
Everything that comes with it,
mentally, physically, emotionally,
that comes with having to be at your level.
It's a beautiful question.
I think one of the biggest flexes that you can have is a life you're proud of.
And I'm so proud of my life.
Because I did the work.
Because I realized that I don't wanna stop creating.
And I don't want, I think in the subtitle of my book
is build your empire.
I want entrepreneurs to build a business.
So this is what empire might mean.
I don't want to build a business.
I don't want to build a business.
I don't want to build a business. I don't want to build a. And I don't want, I think in the subtitle of my book
is build your empire.
I want entrepreneurs to build a business.
So this is what empire, my definition is,
is a life of unlimited creation
you never have to retire from.
And is it worth it?
It's not easy, but I don't want easy.
I didn't choose easy.
I'm proud I'm willing to do hard things.
And having the resources, I mean,
I just got back speaking in Miami at these events,
but in between events, we're going to detention centers.
And when I'm talking to these kids,
and I know what I look like,
and I know that they look different than me,
but I tell them like at 15,
I was in the place just like this.
And a kid comes up to me afterwards,
he shakes my hand
and he says, you're the first millionaire I've ever met.
Wow.
Oh, all the time, all the time.
These kids have never, and they're like,
now they're not listening to me
if I haven't done anything with my life.
Right.
See, that's the challenge why I,
nobody actually will listen or care until you win.
It's true.
So how about we win?
I think it's worth it.
I think when I look back at the opportunity I had,
as you talk about often, to be the one.
Yeah.
That's why I get emotional about my story, my life.
My dad, literally my dad watched my talk yesterday
at Tony Robbins online, virtually, and he texts me
and he goes, you gotta be a genius.
I don't know how you remember all that stuff.
I love that. He just doesn't get it you remember all that stuff. I love that.
He just doesn't get it.
By the way, man, enjoy that.
I miss that my dad would say those things to me.
What you've done though,
I want you to talk about this concept.
So I think most people, even listening right now,
in my audience, as you know,
they're people who care about their lives
a little bit more than most.
They're more self-aware.
They want more abundance. They I
Just think they live more alive or want to right and
But even in my audience
Because many of them are my friends they are in a life that they would prefer not to be in in some way
it's either a relationship they would prefer not to be in a body they would prefer not to be in, a body they would prefer not to be in, a job.
And many of them have done what you said originally, too. They've actually built a business that was their original dream.
But if they were being honest right now, maybe it isn't anymore.
Yeah. And you have this great concept about the difference between living by default and
another thing. And at any time you could lose the other thing.
And, and that other thing is design, which he's going to talk about,
but I want everyone to listen to this.
At one time you could have been living by design and now you're living by
default in that original design. I know it's a deep way to go,
but talk about the difference between those two things and how you're living by default in that original design. I know it's a deep way to go, but talk about the difference between those two things
and how you switch to living by design.
It's such a nuanced thing that most people
don't even realize it's an option or that that's their life.
And I would say for the most, a big part of my life,
I was living by just being responsive,
opportunities and people.
And now that might afforded me a different lifestyle.
Then it came with the pressure.
It came with the feeling out of control, the anxiety.
I mean, there was one time I went to see my doctor
because I had a pain on my back.
And he like looked at it and he goes, are you stressed?
I said, no, why is that?
He goes, well, tell me what's going on in your life.
And I was like, oh, well, we just raised $2 million
for my new startup.
Oh, my wife Renee, she's pregnant,
and we decided to move back to Canada to raise our kids.
He goes, I'll be back.
And he went and he got this bottle with some medication in it.
He shows me a picture.
And he says, you have shingles.
Whoa.
Yeah, he goes, you might not feel stressed,
but your body's stressed.
And I was living life by default.
What I do now is I decide upfront.
And it just had to be part of it.
I decide what I wanna create, where I wanna go,
who I wanna create it with, how I wanna do it.
And I use my calendar to drive that.
So I don't wake up and go,
oh, I wish I would have spent more time with my kids.
It's in the calendar.
You know, a long time ago I learned
if something's important to me,
if I say it's important, people say it all the time,
oh yeah, my kids are important.
Okay, I wanna look at two things,
your calendar and your bank account.
Show me where you've designed your life
through your investment of your time and your money
that your children are important to you.
Where are the vacations?
Where's the nights?
Where's the, like even, and again,
I just took all the stuff that I did in the business life,
because I had some success there,
struggled in the relationship and just said like,
well, what am I doing right here
that I should be applying to my home life?
And it was just this simple idea of going,
okay, I'm more intentional. It's just intentional.
Because you can't be successful in business if you're not intentional. So why aren't you bringing
that energy to your life? And for me, it's the dreaming. And then this is the other thing,
some people have a hard time dreaming because if they're successful, then what if they lose it all?
Well, how about you don't take the shot
and you didn't get it anyway?
I mean, you literally miss all the shots
you don't even take.
And I remember my wife,
because I was nervous.
There was a point in my life where I was like,
I had an opportunity to go big.
But if I go big and I fail,
there was pressure there.
You could go small again.
And I didn't wanna do it to my family.
And I just had to sit down with her and I said,
hey, if I go for this and it doesn't work out,
are we still good?
And she goes, as long as you don't do anything,
what did she, she goes,
as long as you don't break the law or something.
I was like, babe, I'll be good.
I go worst case, I mean, like, let's just walk through.
I think most people don't even plan
the worst case scenario.
And if they did, it's probably okay.
I like looking at the worst case scenario.
Let's just look at it and just get honest with it.
I'm not scared of the boogeyman.
No, like worst.
He's usually not as bad as you think.
It's not.
And that boogeyman shining some light
and sanitizing that situation allows you to go way further.
I so agree with that.
It's like, it's not the like niche thing. You're supposed to talk about a personal development
Don't look at it because you'll attract it. Yeah, let's just look at it
Let's expose this boogeyman for what he or she is
It's probably not as bad as you think and once you can deal with that now, you're so strong to go past it
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I think a lot of people though,
they're a little, they're at a different spot.
They go, look, I'm just trying to get above water, bro.
Like right now, groceries are more,
you know, date, childcare is more,
I've got, you know, my house isn't worth what it was
five years ago or three years ago.
So I like your dreaming thing, but here's the deal, man.
I will do that. I'm just trying to scramble
to get above water right now.
And I know that that's a common mindset with a lot of people.
What would you say to that person?
I know what I would say, but I want to hear what you would say.
They go, look, bro, that sounds good. And I do agree with you.
But right now it's about survival mode for me.
And once I get there, then this whole dream thing will kick in again at that point.
What would you say to that person?
It doesn't work that way.
It doesn't work like that. Oh, man, I wish I and that's that's the conversation.
I absolutely love having face to face with another person
because it sounds logical.
You know, their moms or dads are like, you know, I don't even have enough
to make the, you know, the months longer than my paycheck.
And I'm like, if you don't put you first,
if you don't build the habits around the controllable.
So that's what I always say is like,
I can't control the rest of the world.
I can control me.
I can control what I do tomorrow morning.
I can control what I focus on.
I can control what I put in my mind, the books I read,
the people I associate with, the conversation I allow myself to have.
And if I do those things, I have to have trust.
This is where it goes back to becoming somebody
that attracts into their life.
Everything else will be the same.
If I can just be the person that builds that confidence
of the future that it could happen by just being consistent.
I think consistency is like the number one habit that builds that confidence of the future that it could happen by just being consistent.
I think consistency is like the number one habit
that most people just can't do long enough.
Like they can't, it's crazy
cause they'll be right there where it's gonna be
a breakthrough and then they self-sabotage.
And it's like, you know what?
I've heard so many people say this like a thousand days.
I think Andy says this a thousand days of just doing a thing every day to work on you.
One of the things that I've noticed for sure is this idea of the consistency long enough.
I cannot tell you how many people, man, I've watched get so close and they just fatigue.
And I think the reason they fatigue is there's no
external proof yet so they don't get they people look for a lot of things
number one and I want you to talk about this number one they look for the
external like hey there's no evidence like my bank account isn't bigger our
sales aren't up my body hasn't changed yet the way I want it to or they're
obsessed with getting support
from the people around them you know still my spouse hasn't bought in still
my parents haven't but still my friends think I'm crazy and it just
wears them down because they're like no if I just keep
and I feel like at least in my case I'm like look they're probably not going to
support you until you win and if you just know that
going in it's not such a big deal that you win. And if you just know that going in,
it's not such a big deal that you don't get it.
Like most people only support,
it's why most people aren't believers in faith.
They have to see something.
Yeah, prove it.
They have to prove it.
And so you're gonna have to prove it in life.
But I just, I think what you just said is so factual,
brother, because not only have to be consistent long enough.
Can you, can you be patient long enough and deliberate long enough? Can you, can you be patient long
enough and deliberate long enough and basically where
everybody else out? Right? Like where I'm out. That's the thing
about you. You flew in here today. I'm on Instagram, bam,
you're at the gym, right? Like don't mess over and over and
over again. So talk about this. What do you do to stay consistent now? Because you
don't have to anymore. And what do you do to do it long enough? Like even this now you're trying
to become and are becoming a major influence in the world now beyond your community and your
companies. Now you want to impact the world. That doesn't happen in two weeks. So how do you do it?
old. That doesn't happen in two weeks. So how do you do it?
Such a good question. When I think about the motivation, I
it's so such a great question. And maybe people resonate with this, or maybe they won't, it just is what it is. My purpose
sat right next to the worst thing that's ever happened to me in my life.
My purpose initially was like this dark energy of drive
to prove all these people wrong.
My buddy Mike's mom who said,
there's no way Dan the drug dealer's gonna be in my house
to everybody that didn't believe me in school.
So like when I started, it was that dark energy
and what shifted was the bigger purpose
of why I'm doing this.
And it's tough and that's why I think faith is so important
because if I was just doing it for me,
it wouldn't be big enough.
And I'll be honest, even if I was just doing it
for my family, I don't think it'd be big enough.
Not this level, as you know, at this, like,
man, it's gonna ask the world,
if you wanna do stuff at the highest level,
it's gonna ask everything.
Like every cell, and not only that,
it's gonna ask of things that you don't even have yet,
that you better go figure out as fast as you can
because you're gonna need it next week.
Like the capacity I have, and you say this all the time,
your capacity is expanded at your extremities.
And the reason for me why it's so important
is I know my desire to serve other people
is my true north, that energy, that focus.
And I don't have today what I'm gonna need to do tomorrow.
I just know I don't have it.
So not only do I have to be consistent on the daily today,
hitting the gym, eating clean, doing all that stuff
to have the energy, but I gotta be feeding my mind.
I gotta be around people.
I gotta continue to audit my words
and try to figure out like, where's my next opportunity?
Because I just don't wanna,
man, could you imagine you have an opportunity
to be on like the biggest show in the world
back in the day, Oprah?
Let's say you write a book,
magically it becomes a best-selling book
and Oprah chooses you to gift it Christmas time
to all her friends and you're not ready.
And I just think people,
I honestly believe, cause I see it around me,
some people are actually presented the opportunities
as black and whites right there,
and they weren't ready to capitalize on it.
I think so too.
I think all people are presented an opportunity or two
in their lifetime, and either A, they're not ready,
or they have not worked on themselves to the point
where they even acknowledge and recognize it
when it shows up. They don't see it.
They didn't recognize Brian when he showed up like you did. They didn't recognize it.
They didn't recognize they needed a coach at the time that you decided to
work with me. They don't recognize that business idea when it comes their way
because they are not self-aware enough at the time. They have not worked on
themselves where their filter. That question that you ask yourself about
God's grace, what that does is earlier when you're covering that, I thought it
just changes your whole filter of the world and you begin to see things that were always there
that you were oblivious to before. And when you really work on yourself, what ends up happening
is your filter of the world changes and you begin to see the people, the places, the things, the
questions, the opportunities, the tactics that were there probably before that you were oblivious to.
And so that's why the work on yourself matters so much, because
it changes the filter.
And so someone listening to this goes, it's not true.
They've never come my way.
That's your reality.
That's your reality.
And it's actually true.
You're right.
Because you are creating that reality.
But if you would work on yourself and change things in your associations, your identity,
get a coach, do whatever it is, the filter changes.
And what you'll think when it happens is, oh my gosh, it just magically happened or
that you've attracted it.
Yes, you've attracted it.
But I promise you there were other people that had come along before that were there
to serve you to change your life and you missed it and if you become open to it
it'll change so let me ask you this let's do business tactics because we can
go everywhere with you other than hiring the right people to buy your time back
if you could wish upon your children or someone listening to this one or two
business skills that you think sets them up for the next 20 years in the modern
economy yeah and I know this would transcend lots of businesses so it's a or two business skills that you think sets them up for the next 20 years in the modern
economy? Yeah. And I know this would transcend lots of businesses. So it's a hard question
because you know, if you were going to be a programmer, maybe this is a different skill
set. Yeah. By and large, what are one or two of the skills across the board? You would
tell somebody you better develop these skills. The first one is learning how to sell. And
some people are going to call it persuasion. But I was so bad.
I was a programmer.
I mean, learning to write code saved my life.
I'm in rehab.
I find this computer book.
And it just became my new obsession, my new addiction.
So I just, I'd write code.
And I liked it because I didn't have to talk to anybody.
Had a lot of anger issues.
I just like, I just want to code.
The challenge is that's not how you build a business.
And learning to convince somebody else
that your solution's the right solution,
that is a skill.
I was so bad at it.
I remember, Ed, I was trying to get somebody to buy for me
and it just got no, no, no, to the point where I was like,
all right, I'm gonna start reading sales books.
I think the first book might've been a Brian Tracy book
and then Tom Hopkins and then Zig Ziglar.
And I couldn't even read them
because it was so foreign to me at the time
as an introverted-ish programmer
that I would just drive around in my car with the audio CD
as a forcing function to listen for hours,
five, six hours at a time, no place to go.
I would just drive weekends,
just listening to these books to try to learn the skills,
the like how to pattern match and how to talk.
Like I was so socially awkward that it was the skill
that then became the leading skill for everything else.
Hiring people, getting investors, you know, convinced.
I mean, finding my wife, like, I mean, you can't,
I'm a single guy if I don't learn how to talk.
Selling is like the foundational skill for people.
If they can just understand that it is about communicating
a desire to help and the person who has the most certainty
is usually the person who's gonna walk away
with the opportunity.
And it's just a beautiful place to get to, I think.
So I would say number one skill
that I had to work really hard with is sales.
And then the second one is people.
And it took me a while, man.
I was such a, my first company, I ran so hot.
Yeah, I would, I'm not proud of,
there's meetings where,
cause I didn't know any better.
It's just when things weren't going the way I wanted them to,
I only had one thing to grab for.
Which was anger.
Oh.
And as long as until it worked out, that was the only thing.
And then I realized that that is such a hard way
to build a big business, because you're always
burning through people.
And continuity is a competitive advantage.
Having people in your life for decades will shift everything.
So I had to learn how to work on my emotional shrapnel
that I was creating emotional shrapnel around me.
It was a point where I spent time with therapists, coaches,
reading every leadership book, right?
That's how I got turned on to John Maxwell's work.
It was just, I needed to be a better leader.
Turned out I had to learn how to lead myself,
how to separate the meaning I was associating
to these scenarios because I would just see red,
wasn't required.
If I could actually in a situation
not be emotionally triggered,
oh, the upper hand I would have.
So for me, I think most people, and I see this today,
people self-sabotage themselves because of their emotions.
Not because the opportunity's not there,
not because the market's not there,
it's because they overreact,
and they just showed their hand.
I'm not gonna get into business with a person
that on a little thing, they go nuclear.
I mean, this is little.
We're talking 10 million, when this thing gets big,
like you're uncertain.
So I just think those two skills of like
being a world-class salesperson understands
how to show up with conviction.
Cause that's really what is a certainty
and just believe in it when you have no proof
and then understanding how to communicate with people.
But do it in a way where you can attract the best of the best.
Most people meet my team who's here and they go,
where do you find an ant or a sand?
And I'm like, the problem is, is they wouldn't work for you
because you aren't leading yourself.
So a lot of people think it's a pool,
have this magical pool, I go fishing in or this lake
and I go find this top talent.
No, top talent wants to work for a leader.
First off, they need to be able to lead themselves.
Second, they need to be able to communicate clear vision
and show up.
A great leader knows how to agitate,
but he also knows how to create a sense of calm in the storm.
And it took me a long time to figure that out.
This is still an area because that's the only thing
that caps what I can create as talent.
You know how when you're doing interviews,
cause you do them too, you go,
that's one of the best clips for Instagram.
Like I'm listening to that answer right there.
And I'm like, okay, that was like,
cause I wouldn't have answered it as well as you,
more than likely, but that would have been my answer as well.
Your ability to persuade, sell and communicate
and your ability to emotionally regulate yourself.
And I also relate to the anger stuff when I was young, actually
not even that long ago. So I really relate to both of those
things. I completely totally agree with you. If I added a
third, it would be I don't think you can attract abundance and
money in your life if you don't understand it.
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And so I want you to tell them about your barber.
And yes, I do my research, right?
Because I think this is a huge lesson right here for everybody.
And if I could give you the list, it would be you better be able to persuade so I don't care what the career is even to get the job you need to have
that. I agree B completely with emotional regulation being able to control that and love and deal with
people and third I think no one talks about this anymore but most people never learned about money
in their entire educational system and I know very successful people that are not wealthy still
that people on social media think are wealthy
because they still don't understand money.
The money side.
So tell them about your barber.
This is a really good kind of just metaphor
for the whole idea.
It was such a beautiful lesson.
I think I was like 24, 23.
And I had heard that my barber had won the lottery,
but like real money, like a million plus dollars,
but he was still cutting my hair.
And I didn't, you know, I felt it wasn't my place to ask,
but you know, after like four or five months of going
and hearing, you know, rumors that he like won
a million bucks in the lottery.
And I'm like, why is he still cutting my hair for 12 bucks?
And I remember his name was Phil.
He's cut my hair. I said? And I remember his name was Phil.
He's cut my hair.
I said, Phil, can I ask you a question?
He said, yeah.
I said, did you win the lottery?
Yep, yep, Dan, I won the lottery.
I said, is it, I don't wanna be rude.
Is it rude for me to ask you like,
then why are you cutting my hair?
Like, I don't think you like me that much.
And he's like, he goes, you know, Dan,
if I would have known better,
I would have done something different.
I said, what'd you do?
He said, well, I got the money,
bought myself, my wife, my kids, new cars.
I paid off the mortgage.
I brought the whole extended family on this big cruise.
I bought a bunch of stuff.
I probably didn't need to impress people I didn't like.
And when it was all said and done,
million bucks doesn't go that far.
And I'm still cutting hair.
He said, if I would have known better,
I would have just bought an apartment building
and called it a day.
And I remember hearing that and realizing
that it wasn't even the money, It was his mindset around the money.
How so?
So most people, he didn't believe he deserved that million dollars. And when you don't believe you deserve something, you work really hard to get rid of it.
And that's what happened. He had a belief that, you know, I gotta take care of everybody else
and he put himself second.
He didn't understand how to manage it.
He was scary of everybody
because people was like,
oh, somebody's gonna steal it from you.
So he didn't wanna talk to a financial.
It's just, and I get it
because if you've never grown up in it,
I mean, I grew up and I learned things from my parents
that made it really hard to even write that book.
The idea that if you want something done right,
you gotta do it yourself.
And that, you know, don't, every dollar you spend,
you know, it's not what you make, it's what you earn.
Or it's not what you make, it's what you keep.
That one kept me like really struggling for a long time
because I wouldn't spend any money to get any leverage,
which meant I was doing everything.
Cause a dollar spent is a dollar
that I didn't get to keep.
But the whole point of life is to experience it,
to buy time back so that you can have the time
to be with your family and be present.
And I just think that I got lucky that not only did Phil
open up that, what did he miss that I don't wanna miss
when I become wealthy?
And I just started again, I just went back to books.
I started reading books about money mindset
and how to manage my wealth.
And I had some mentors, I had an early mentor,
this guy was incredibly wealthy in the technology space.
And I remember after I sold my first company,
I was like, I hired a banker and wealth management team
and he goes, my rule is, is you take half of it.
That goes away. The other half's for the other stuff.
The other stuff is your next company, because he said, Dan, it's really easy to make money.
It's hard to keep it true.
He said that he goes, I can tell you all my friends that have sold their technology
companies, made a bunch of money, millions of dollars.
And five, six years later,
they got to go do another one because they got to get a job, they got to work for Microsoft because they didn't know how to manage it. So his whole philosophy was like for every dollar you make,
50%, you lock and load, no risk, low risk stuff, and then use the rest to kind of build your
your vision for your life. That's a great story. Had Phil told you, hey, I'm still cutting hair
because it's what I love and it's my passion, that would be cool. But the fact that you did it because of necessity, right? And you learned a
different lesson. Okay, two questions left. You've hired a lot of coaches. How important is it, do
you think, if that someone find a mentor? Whether they actually hire them or they follow them or
whatever it is? And then inside of of that particularly take a look at social
media even though I'm not posting on there right now there's so many people
to pick from do you recommend someone pick one or two mentors and kind of
follow them what would your recommendation be to somebody who right
now says look I you know should they get a coach should they pay for a mentor if
they can't how would you recommend they delineate and distinguish between who they listen to via the digital space?
Yeah, I think there are people that just don't have the means right now and I
would say they're really lucky that they're born and live in this era.
Because Ed, when I grew up there wasn't an ability for me to pull out this
machine that was on me all the time,
where I could curate a feed of people
that are legit business folks teaching.
Like that wasn't a thing.
The best I had was a book that I still had to buy, right?
Maybe I had a library card.
And I just think most people are using social media
the wrong way.
Period, full stop.
They're using it the wrong way.
Like, I don't follow
my high school friends. My role is if I would see you in a mall today and I would pretend
like I don't know you, we're not friends. Like, it makes no sense that I'm going to
have this pretend a friendship with somebody I haven't seen in 17 years. So I use my feed
to self-educate, to get mentorship, to be coached virtually from people that I admire
that inspire me, and that costs nothing.
Costs you a follow or an unfollow,
get the bad stuff out of your feed.
That being said, until you pay,
most people will not pay attention.
And I believe this, I remember when I wired the money over
to work with you,
I knew the transformation happened at the transaction.
And the reason why is because when we invest in ourselves,
we tell ourselves a story.
I'm worth it.
Even though I was scared, I was scared.
I wasn't sure what you were gonna tell me to do.
I was just like, oh my gosh.
But it told me that I'm worth it.
And I remember my first coach, I was 23,
before I started my first business, his name was Bob.
I read a book, I got inspired.
I need a coach, I've been trying everything else.
I failed, two failed companies.
And I had $3,000 in my bank account at the time.
Bob was 1,500 bucks a month.
I signed a one-year contract.
I figured if Bob's good, he's gonna help me figure it out
because I'm not gonna be able to pay him for the third month.
And Bob just gave me the blueprint,
like a good coach does.
That first year we did almost a million in revenue.
But that's the way it works if you can do it.
I think it's so important.
And it's not even just the information
because if it was information,
every PhD professor be rich.
It's about the energy, it's about the belief, every PhD professor be rich.
It's about the energy, it's about the belief,
it's about the confidence.
I mean, several things that you've shared with me
were life-changing, but one of the things
that I valued the most was your belief in me.
Like when you would say something to me
and you'd say, no, Dan, I need you to hear this,
and you get quiet, and you tell me. I was just like, well,
and you don't want to let somebody down. Yeah. I mean, that's what Brian did for me.
When Brian sits me down and he says, I believe in you and you don't belong here.
I just didn't want to, I didn't want to let him down.
And he was right. And by the way, I was right.
You're very easy to believe in at this stage, Brian.
That was a special dude. Me. You're pretty easy to believe in at this stage. Brian, that was a special dude. Me, you're pretty easy to believe in at this stage. Brian's the one who deserves the credit for sure.
It's apparent to everybody listening to you that's, if everyone,
if there are people today,
which there will be a lot that are being exposed to you for the first time,
they're like, Whoa, now I know why I introduced this guy this way.
I'm very proud of you. I want to tell you that first. I do believe in you.
And I really believe that this is still the beginning yet you're already so immensely successful.
It's just I really admire because I had that and have that.
You're wanting to pay it forward because you truly are grateful for the people that have helped you and you truly want to be that person in so many other people's lives and I believe you're doing this for the right reasons
and that combined with your brilliance and your content means you need more
exposure which is why you're here today and it's why I hope that more people
follow you I hope people get by back your time they follow you on social
media so I want to make sure everybody hears that I'm big fan of this dude last
question hard one but I want to just see what you say.
I'm just curious. So someone said to me yesterday, I'm a little older than you,
but not much. Hey man, are you enjoying your summer?
And, and I said, yeah, you know,
got some stuff going and they know about my health issues. He goes, well,
bro, you have between one and 30 good summers left.
I recommend you enjoy them.
And it hit me.
One would be something happened with my heart or whatever.
And if it all works out, maybe you got 30 great summers left.
But it certainly is scarce and finite.
And I don't know.
I've been thinking about it since he said it all the way to right now,
asking you this question. This isn't in my notes
But let's just say that you have between 10 and 40 summers left
Let's just say maybe you get 50 because you're in such great shape, but it's finite. There's not that many left Yeah, you have let's say you have 30 more
Augusts at the end of those Augusts or at the end for that last summer you experience some day
When you're in the last summer of your life, what do you
want to look back and have experienced and felt what would
have made it a great life for you?
Let's pretend you only had two years left. What would you want
to do? What are the big things you want to do? You can write
those down. You know, if you only had two weeks,
what if you only had two weeks but you couldn't tell anybody?
That one's a fun one to consider.
I know for me,
if you had two days
and you couldn't tell anybody, what would you do?
You'd be sending the plane around.
You'd be bringing people to you.
You'd be living with them. You'd be pouring it.
Again, you can't tell them,
you know, 48 hours.
And a decade ago, I did this exercise
and I just changed my whole calendar.
So for example, every two years, because of that exercise,
my brother and I pay for the whole trip
and we fly, every family member,
we live in one house with all the kids, go skiing on a ski hill in the winter.
And then summertime, I do it with my wife and her family.
Cause I don't know if we got 40 years.
I don't know how many August is I got left.
And I, and that's why I'm crazy grateful for really deciding to going in on documenting and creating the social media side because I don't even writing the book, I put off writing a book for a long time didn't need one doing the business stuff, it didn't feel called.
But man if that day would have been my that last day before the book was published.
I would have wished, I would have had some regret. So I just look at it as like regret minimization.
I was fortunate enough to learn this a decade ago,
so when my kids are about, you know, they're 11 and 12.
Man, when I would spend time with them,
every time, I mean, it sounds corny,
but I had it in my calendar.
It said what to talk to them about.
That's awesome.
I just wanted to, I just, I don't wanna forget.
Yeah, that's a great answer because you and I,
you know, John Rulon have a really good friend who is a,
He just passed.
His past, his funeral was this weekend.
Same age, you know.
Four kids.
Yeah, four kids, young man in his forties and gone.
So,
Just like that.
That question, just like that.
What a great answer, by the way.
What a great conversation. Thank you.
It's one for the ages here.
So I already told you to follow them.
If you enjoyed today, everybody, just share the episode.
That's all I ever ask of you.
I know this made a difference in your life and I'm grateful that you were here today,
Dan.
I'm grateful for all of you for listening or watching.
God bless you.
Max out.
This is The Ed Myron Show.