THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Lead Like A 14-Time Champion w/ Monica Aldama

Episode Date: March 1, 2022

This week, you’re going to hear some incredible lessons on how to build a WINNING TEAM, LEADERSHIP, CULTURE, and DISCIPLINE from one of the legends in her chosen profession. I consider my guest one of the ALL TIME GREATEST coaches in the history of college sports! Period. Her chosen sport is COMPETITIVE CHEERLEADING. Cheerleading has changed in recent years.  For many participants, long gone are the days of standing on the sidelines encouraging fans to show their spirit.  Competitive cheerleading at a high level requires as much PERSEVERANCE, PRACTICE, and DEDICATION as much as any other athletic undertaking. Nobody understands this better than MONICA ALDAMA who has set the STANDARD for two decades.  She coaches the Navarro College team, located south of Dallas and considered one of the best programs in the country.   During her tenure, the Bulldogs have won 14 Junior College Division National Championships and five Grand National Titles.  Yes 14 NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIPS! In 2020, Monica was featured in "Cheer," a Netflix docuseries that focused on the 2019 Navarro College coed cheerleading team.  It captivated viewers and was a huge boost in introducing the sport to a wide audience.  Since that time, she has made several TV appearances including a turn on "Dancing with the Stars," and written FULL OUT, an inspirational guide on LEADERSHIP and developing a CHAMPIONSHIP MINDSET.  So, what lessons can a competitive cheerleading coach teach you? The answer is A LOT! No matter what you do in life, Monica is going to download actionable advice on a wide range of topics, including… …the importance of COMPASSIONATE DISCIPLINE. …what to look for in RECRUITS when you’re building a team. …giving DIRECT FEEDBACK. …building a great culture by leading with RESPECT and INSTILLING BELIEF in people. …avoiding burnout and dealing with PRESSURE. …the RIGHT WAY TO PRACTICE. This week’s episode really “sticks the landing” with tons of great advice you can use. Monica Aldama is on the mat and practice is about to begin.

This is the end mileage show. I welcome back to the show everybody. I'm so excited. I have, I think, the greatest coach in all of college sports with me today. And potentially the greatest ever. And many of you, it's true. And many of you may know who she is, but I don't know that you look at her the way that I look at.

And I look at her as one of the greats of all time in coaching. And so my guest is Monica Aldama, who you guys all know from cheer. She's also got a new book out called Full Out. And I am so fired up to pick her brain about leadership, about galvanizing a team. And for all of you, no matter what your business is, or if you're a mother or father, today is going to apply to your life in a major way. So Monica, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me.

I'll give you a stat of all time coaching and college sports. Nick Saban, who's the greatest college football coach of all time, seven national championships. John Wooden has 10. Genoa, Riyama has 11. Monica has 14 national championships, her and her teams, you guys, just to give you context. So when you see this unbelievable show, if you've not watched it on Netflix season 2's out, it is compelling. The stories are unbelievable. But when I make the case that I say something, I think someone could potentially be the greatest coach

of all time, I'll back it up with some data, 14 of them. When I say that, does it even surprise you? Yeah, I mean, you know, I, uh, I've, I've just stated my bubbles. So, um, I don't compare myself, you know, to football or anything like that. But I do know the hard work that I've put in and the commitment that I, and the sacrifices I've made for now, I just finished my 27th year. So, um, you know, I definitely think I put in the work to earn that. Yeah, and that bubble's burst, by the way. You don't have bubble anymore, Monica. So, she's got this book, guys, and there's so many lessons in the book. I have to make a confession.

Before I watch the show, I didn't think cheer was a sport. I didn't. I'm looking at, you know, pom-poms and whatever I've seen in a movie before. And then I watched this. These are unbelievable athletes, incredible, and the danger level of what you all do. So just a quick education on cheer, but then we're going to get into like lessons on life and coaching and leading people in business too. But this, when did this change? Like wherever I've been, all star cheer is like this thing

that sort of turned it, I guess a little bit, right? But like, just if people haven't seen the show, explain to us how this is a absolutely very detailed sport. Yeah, I mean, cheerleading has definitely changed it over the years, even from when I was, you know, a cheerleader myself. When I cheered in the late 80s and around that time, late 80s, early 90s, all-star cheerleading came about and that really changed the industry and its entirety.

We did competitive cheerleading in high school, but it was on a much smaller level. And what happened with all-star cheerleading, we started seeing where these kids were trained from basically birth, or really like three years old, you could have an opportunity to compete. And they, so they created these opportunities for people to be coached about really great coaches, because you know, in school cheerleading, a lot of times you have your science teacher that's the sponsor and and it really is not at there's no education behind it. So there's no coach that's qualified to really get you to the next level for myself. I did gymnastics until I was able to do school cheerleading. So I think that's what a lot of people did. They had a gymnastics background

if they were interested in it. But anyways, it just provided this platform where kids could come in and like grow from a very young age, just like with club baseball, you go and you start travel ball and you're playing at an elite level from an early age. And I'll start cheerleading also. You compete many times throughout the year

so your experience is just every single year you're gaining more and more experience. So by the time you get to me at college, I saw from the time I started until now, just the evolution of this talent was growing and these kids were coming more and more experienced. And of course it made my job easier, but definitely all-star cheerleading changed everything about cheerleading and hopefully cheer changed everybody's opinion of it because it definitely competitive cheerleading

is not your palm palms and your sideline, just trying to look cute. It's mind blowing everybody. If you haven't seen the show, one, the discipline level seen the show one, the discipline level, the athleticism, and frankly the danger level of the precision of what they need to do,

and then it comes down to about two minutes and 15 seconds for the whole deal, is just compelling. The stories of the way it's done, it's so fun to tell you Monica. I'm a dude, right? The way I've found out about your show is I'm golf and you're playing with dudes like, hey, do you see the Laker game last night? You see this? You watch Ozark on Netflix, you know,

and then over and over guys like, have you seen cheer on Netflix? I'm like, what the hell are you cheer? Like, and they're like, bro, you need to see this. It's unbelievable. And you got to see this coach. And I'm like, finally, about 11 or 12 different men on golf courses told me this. I'm like, I got to see it. And then it's one of these things like you're gonna binge it. You can't, the stories of these precious kids that are there and Monica, it's just, it's awesome. So I just wanna acknowledge the show. It's so, so good.

But so is this book. And very rarely do you get someone who's won 14 national championships, write a book and say, let me show you about my formula, my recipe for leadership. And again, this applies as an entrepreneur for you one-on-one in your life. You as a parent, you're gonna love this book.

But I wanna go to someone like, that's the foundation. Chapter one is called Discipline as a Gift. And then you talk about something called. So here we go guys, there's like, if you're driving in the car, you can pull over. You say, you call it compassionate discipline. And it's a perfect description

of what I observed of you in your coaching style. So just talk about that a little bit for a minute, compassionate discipline and why it's a gift. Well, I think discipline is a good thing and I think a structure is a good thing and expectations and a lot of times, people come from all different backgrounds

and they don't really have those at home. And those are the things that really can take you to the next level. And, but also be an empathetic and be able to relate and make them feel like you care about them because at the end of the day, people are gonna go that extra mile when they feel appreciated and when they feel like you care about them because at the end of the day people are going to go that extra mile when they feel appreciated and when they feel like you care. And so obviously I'm a mother and my perspective is how would I want

someone to treat my child, how would I want not only my child but how would I want someone to speak to me. And so I try to discipline with a mutual respect and I'm not a yeller, you know, I think a lot of people think of being tough and disciplined as yelling and you know we see the typical football you're in your face and I like passion too and we can have those moments of passion but I think the biggest part is there needs to be out there's a big learning curve when when 18-year-olds go to college and they're off on their own for their first time and they need the rules and they need to be held accountable but they also need some understanding and

some love and I think it's just a great combination for people to want to listen and want to do better. And yelling doesn't do it. You have to have a combination of something else. You do that really well. I wanna go a little deeper on it. So I'm just thinking about different moments in the show where even in the season one, one of the first shows where the girl's gonna be at the top

of what I call the pyramid, hurts herself and you're like, we're gonna have to take her out and put someone else in. And you, these situations happen in business all the time. Most people avoid confrontation in life, even in their marriage, they'll let it stack and stack and stack. You have this really interesting thing,

because you're firm and you're incredibly truthful, right? Very, very truthful. Like, but yet you do do it in a loving way. Do you ever step back and like, if you have it a most like you're upset with them, do you ever like let it breathe a minute before you communicate? Do you have anything you do?

Because that's to me, maybe you're great strength. And the other one we're gonna come up with in a minute is what this loving, very candid feedback though. Most people don't do either one of those things. Do you, are you conscious of doing it that way? I mean, yes, I think so because I think if we, especially with coaching, if I am not direct, it can lead to confusion or expectations that are not real on their on their part. And I would want someone to be honest with me so that I and even if it makes me upset, I mean, I can deal with it and I can move forward. If

I'm constantly in a state of, well, maybe I, you know, maybe I have a chance at this or maybe I'm, you know, I, that's unfair. I think to them, if you give them direct feedback and expectations and then it gives them very specific goals to work for and know what they need to do. If they don't make that, what do I need to do to make that? Well, to be honest, you know, this is where you're at. And I don't know, I just would want someone to be honest with me and not let me sit there thinking that I have a chance at doing something

when the reality is if I don't have this specific skill or, you know, if I'm not working on this particular thing, I'm not gonna be able to get that spot. Also, it gives them a goal, like I said, to work for if they know that this is the one thing I'm missing. Let me go and put some time into that and work on it. But like I said, I really honestly have always come from a place of I want to have respectful

conversations and speak to them in a way I would want to be spoken to, which is why I'm not a yell or I don't want to feel like someone is being condescending or embarrassing me. I don't think embarrassing anyone. And of course it happens at times because because sometimes we're in a moment, and you're gonna be really direct at that moment. But for the most part, I think pulling people to the side and having these open, honest, direct conversations in a very loving way,

is that's what's worked for me. And yes, sometimes I do need to take a moment, I don't know if you can please end too, but I need to walk outside because I don't have a good attitude right now, and it's going to probably spill over in how I start coaching in a minute. So I'm just going to go and fix myself. But yeah, I think that I feel like I earn their respect

and to me, honestly, the biggest thing of leadership, Yeah, I think that, you know, I feel like I earn their respect. And to me, honestly, the biggest thing of leadership, whether you're leading your family, your children, or whatever, is they have to respect you. And so I really work on myself a lot so that I'm earning that respect. It's interesting, you use it word a lot, use it with them. I was just thinking, I mean, I do these interviews, I get to share them with everybody, but a lot of times they're for me.

And I reflect on myself when I was early in my business career before I had kids, because you're in tents. Just so you know, this is an intense woman. You don't win 14 national championships. If you're not one crazy person, that's why. It's a crazy person, just so you know. By the way, I think crazy is good. I love crazy people.

Weird, rich and successful, normal, poor and unsuccessful. So I like that you're crazy. I'm crazy. But before I had kids, I think I had disrespectful conversation sometimes with people. It's something about having babies. I would never want someone to speak to my son or my daughter that way.

So you use that word respect a lot, both how you treat these young people and yourself. And a lot of times as a leader when you've won a bunch of titles and you're the coach and they're a kid it'd be easy to have a disrespectful tone. And as a business owner or an entrepreneur same thing in business I own this place you work for me can come across as disrespectful. So I want to really highlight that part of it and it's something that she does incredibly well and it's how you galvanize a group. The other thing, the second thing I think you're incredible at is instilling belief in people and getting each of them to believe

in themselves and getting them to believe as a collective team as well. Is that something you think about consciously in your always sort of like, embeddedly commanding belief into people. I think so for sure. I think I'm careful with my words. And it comes with that championship culture. You have to have everybody buy in, not only to the program, but to themselves as well, because they are at such an elite level

if they start doubting themselves, you know, it'll affect their performance. But, you know, I think our culture, we, I worked really hard in, in having that, that culture and the athletes have always bought in and it makes my job a little bit easier because they are holding each other accountable on that as well. But I definitely choose my words wisely and when there are situations where we're going through something difficult or we're struggling or whatever, I have to keep in mind that I'm the one they're looking to, to know like if we're in a storm, we're gonna get out of the storm. If we're

having a test day at practice, it's okay because tomorrow's a new day and we're gonna hit that pyramid or whatever, whatever. I mean we go through you know just struggling in practice or bigger things that are happening within the team or with different people. So I always know that I have to be that support and that that calm within the storm. And so I do choose my words wisely. And I try to always keep it in a positive, like we're going to overcome this. I mean, you saw in season one when, you know, when Austin got hurt on the

banjo, that's never happened before. In my mind, I was terrified. I thought, this is, I don't know how we're going to overcome this. But I knew that everyone's looking at me. And I was like, oh, we've got this. It's, you know, I did amazing, like all these positive things, you know, that I'm trying to, you know, it's not that we could do. We have this. We've practiced this over and over. That's not what I was thinking in my head. I was going through. I was going through some stuff. Now that's one big thing as a leader is not showing hurt and showing I call it equanimity calm under duress and pressure, right? And it's just these are things you hear all the time and you go, yeah, but do you really do them if you're listening to this? Think about your family for a second. Your family has a culture.

Are you conscious of it? Because a lot of times, you bring the culture from the family you grew up in into your new family. Unconsciously. Yeah. You know, little things like if you weren't hugged a lot when you were a kid, maybe you don't hug your kids as much.

You know, there's a cultural thing. How do you build a culture, by the way? I know that's a broad question, but like, you know, is that something you start out of? You go, I'm gonna build something here special. Is it one of these things where you want people to feel special that they're at Navarro College.

You put on our uniform, there's something special about being here. Is it do you think about those things or is it just like the culture just becomes a reflection of the coach? I think it just becomes a reflection because I was very young when I started. I mean, I had zero experience.

I- You were basically right at a college, right, for everybody's understanding. Yeah, and I had no intention of coaching ever. I have a business degree in finance and I honestly, my ultimate goal was to move to New York City and work on Wall Street. I thought, for some reason, I thought that was the ultimate goal that I should look towards. But I graduated college early, so I was 21 when I graduated and moved to Dallas.

I married my hospital sweetheart. We moved to Dallas for a year and I was working at a computer company that I really, not, it was just the the first job offered to me to pay the bills to you know figure out what we were going to do and a friend of mine was the baseball coach at Navarro and he called me one day and he was like hey our true wedding coaches leaving you should come and apply for this job and I was like well I don't know I mean it was it was I I grew up there. So I was like, I guess I could

do that. I don't really don't like what I'm doing right now. And it'll be a good step and so give me some time to figure out what I want to do. You know, so I applied for the job, no coaching experience at all. Like I said, I'd only been out of college for a year and got the job and so I basically learned everything from trial and error and just studying my butt off because I was you know I got there and there were only 14 people on the team when I got there and so of course they'd never won They weren't not good. They were decent, you know, but they were not nobody knew who we were by any means. And so I'm very competitive. And I was like, you know, I want to build this program up like even if I'm here for a year or two,

like I want to be the best because that's just if I'm, you know, playing a card game, I want to win every single time. That's that's just who I am. I'm competitive. And I want to be the best at whatever I'm doing. So I started trying to learn and figure out how to do that. And I really just took everything that I learned in business because I thought well, to earn the ultimate respect, I need to win a national championship.

That's what I need to do. And how am I going to do that? We have 14 people on the team. So I just started, I thought, actually this is what I did. I was like, how do I win a national championship? Well, I get the most points. How do I get the most points? Well, let me look at the score sheet. I need to maximize my points in all of these categories.

How do I do that? OK, well, this means we're going to need to get really good in all these categories. So I kind of started from the goal and work backwards and tried to recruit people. And at that time, I literally was going into the weight room. I see a big guy and I'm like, hey, which would be interesting to come in

and letting us teach you how to throw stuff in the building. Yeah, I mean, because cheerleading, the talent pool wasn't as big, because like I said, it was right at the start of all start cheerleading. There weren't a lot of guys. A lot of the guys that were involved, really, they got involved because their girlfriends were a cheerleader. They played football.

They were like, oh, they started growing some people around and figure and realized how, you know, it's kind of like a dicting. What else can I do? And so, you know, early on, there just weren't a lot of males out there to recruit. So we're just recruiting and really teaching the guys that, you know, I did actually have some boyfriends of the girls that we taught and pulled into the team. So just started there and, you know, built them. I didn't know, so like I said, I didn't go in and go, oh, I'm going to build this championship culture. I was really just like, wait, what, what I want to win.

So let me start there. And then it just started kind of coming together. But I always knew like what kind of person I am. And I thought the most important thing like I said from the beginning was I need their respect and I need to make sure that I'm working on myself to earn that. And I want to make sure I'm living my life by leading by an example and doing what I expect them. So I really try to make sure that in my own personal life, I was, you know, being a good person. And, you know, if I expect you to do this, I'm going to do it times a thousand.

I'm going to show you how to do it through my actions. And so because of that, the buy-in was pretty quick. You know, I was, these kids were buying in because they were like, I wanna, they wanted to make me proud. I mean, I heard that coming times. Yeah. And so I really think that that was how we started building this.

I was doing my job by being a good leader and by being a good example. And they wanted to follow that example. Yeah, I think that you said so much there. You know, the first thing that you said was about being competitive. Every single person that I've ever been around, they have a crazy competitive streak. It's this invisible thing. They're psychos. They're just different. They want to beat you at everything they do. And this is a telling lesson for you guys that are building a team because she has a whole chapter in the book on recruiting. And I think one of the things you should look

for is competitive people. The second thing that she said there that just I want to make sure we unpack because I think great leaders are sort of aspirational people, meaning they wanna live a certain way themselves. They aspire to be a certain way. And then when you're in their presence, whether it's a Tom Brady or a John Wooden or yourself or any great leader, you want to make them proud because you respect them.

You start connecting the dots of Monica's mindset. Cause a lot of times people just do things unconsciously very well. And but I like to unpack them. You start connecting the dots of Monica's mindset because a lot of times people just do things unconsciously very well. But I like to unpack them. There's this respect thing, both ways, which is then aspirational. And then if you get someone competitive, they want to make you more proud, then other people are making you proud. And now you've got this thing. You can't really describe, but it wins. And it builds a culture. And, what about the recruiting piece? Because everyone's recruiting. I mean, you can't win without great players in any sport. You can't win in business unless you've got great people

around you. What do you look for in recruits? Because they're different backgrounds when you watch this show. And it's beautiful, the mosaic of these precious people that you lead. But what do you look for when you're recruiting and what do you say to get recruits?

Well, obviously, I'll look for the talent.. I mean that's a big part of it, but also I Want someone that's coachable. You don't always know because I don't You know sometimes what is in my mind as far as like oh this person is going to bring this This person is gonna bring this. Within when you get there, sometimes it doesn't always work out that way. And I think that's probably with everyone because you don't really know, you know, you know their talent

and I don't know how it works, you know, in football you might have more of a personal relationship but a lot of times you're just meeting these people for the first time and it's, you know, you're basing some things off of phone calls, you look at their social media and see what kind of person you might think they are through the social, yeah. Yeah. Sometimes you, you know, talk to their former coaches. But obviously it starts with the drive of talent, you know, we're looking for certain skills, but we want someone coachable. I've definitely not taken people before because

of a phone call with their previous coach and some red flags that stick out as you know they are talented, but this could be a potential problem as far as being a team player. And that's such a big aspect of what we do all working together. I mean, you talk about a pyramid. If we're not all on the same page and working together to try to build each other up, it's definitely going to fall apart really quickly. There have been some red flags that will, no matter what kind of talent they have, I'm like, no, this is probably not a good fit for my program. But it usually, it figures itself out when we get there.

We don't always, some people don't make it through the program because they're not a good fit. And then some people that I think, well, we'll give them a try. They're not being my best leaders on the team. They surprise you, you don't really know. So that is a little bit of the hard part of coaching. You really don't know until you get into it. But, you know, we have enough people on the

team that I feel like that, even the ones that struggle a little bit, they usually step up to the plate and they, they, they see the what they're kind of aspiring to be. But as far as what I say to them, you know, I mean, obviously we're junior college, so we don't, you know, I'm not recruiting on that big game day experience. Oh, come to Alabama, you're going to have the most incredible, you know, but, um, so I just really, more so recruit on the family aspects, the competitive aspect, you know, if you're competitive and you want to be a part of a program that's going to push you to be your very best, both in cheerleading, but also in life. This is the place for you.

The family part is the thing most people miss when they're recruiting people. Most people have a need to belong. Mm-hmm. And I don't think enough people who recruit people emphasize that part of, we love you here. We're gonna believe in you here. Just saying those words to a human.

I mean, I'm talking about the top levels and corporate positions and business positions I've hired for. I'm like, hey, listen, you know what separates us? We're going to truly love you. We're going to be honest with you. You're going to be part of our family. And I can't get over the fact that enough business leaders don't say that. I just don't get it. Yeah, because it yeah, it truly is. I mean, we're together all the time. We are a family through the good and bad because families vicar, you know, but we are here for each other. The stories on the show, you guys, of how, I mean, I really believe that there's a large percentage of these kids, young adults who come to your program for the family aspect and and to have a mother leader figure

in you. And it's beautiful. And made me think, I got to tell you Monica, I'm like, now these are some unique stories. And then I started to think every human being has these stories they've all been with me too. Just you get to document it on your show. All of you that are any leadership position, these are precious souls, these people that, ah, they didn't do this today, are they do that? or they're not, this is a human being with an unbelievable story with some wounds and some needs and some desires and dreams and what a wonderful position to be in as a leader.

And the more you remind yourself of that, the less you'll burn out. My sense is that's how you can last 27 years doing something that you didn't even know you were gonna do, right? It's gotta be the people and these precious souls that keep you wanting to come back. Am I wrong about that or am I right? No, absolutely.

I think the biggest thing, the thing that I love, I will get phone calls from someone 10 years later. They've been in my program 10 years ago and they're like, you told me one time and I don't, I don't remember. I don't remember, but something that stuck with them, and they're like, it made me do this, this, and then I got this promotion. They're just so proud to tell me about how successful

they're doing, or just, you know, I'm like, this is my purpose. This is why I come in and do this and make all these sacrifices and work these long hours. And it truly is for something way beyond a national championship. Big time. I wish most people would listen to this. Because for me, I can tell you in business or just in life, it's the same thing. It's running into someone or getting a message.

Like, 12 years ago, you said this, I'm like, I don't remember saying that. But most people, this is why you should stay in your dream, everybody. Most of you don't stay in your dream when it's getting difficult, when you're not winning, the national championships of your life or your business. You don't stay in long enough to get the rewards years later. There's something about just doing something a long time in people's lives

that eventually the ripple effect, the wave comes back at you and the blessings of what you've done for people. Most of you quit before you get those blessings. Stay in it, right? Now, there's other little things you do. Let's get some intense stuff. The chapter, by the way, get the book. You guys, I'm only going to cover a few things. You can tell. Like, this isn't one of these like foofy leadership books. Like every chapter is a lesson. And they're really good ones. But you also have this one, Nick Saban says something

very similar to Alabama about, you wanna practice first, the way I'll mess up how you said it, but the principal. You wanna practice first to get it right, but then you wanna practice to the point where you can't get it wrong. That's the standard at your program, right? Like that's a different standard than most places.

Do you think about that consciously all the time? Well, you know, I said that in season one, and I was just talking, I didn't say it, thinking, oh, this is gonna be some standout moment. But it is just something I think, with cheerleading, you know, it is such a big half the game, It's mental. Believe it in yourself and that confidence. And so, and as you know, what we do is so intricate. It's just so, it just, it takes a lot of time and I'm a numbers person, you know. So, just like, we're working on our pyramid right now. So I'm like, okay guys, here we go. We're gonna do 10 reps. Let's see what our percentages of hitting this.

Let's see where our starting places. We'll do 10, we hit three out of 10. Ooh, we're not doing very good. We've got a 30% hit rate right now. And then every day we do that and it goes up and up and up and you know, so we do these reps so that we finally are getting it right. But then who stops there?

I'm like, I can't imagine anybody that would stop when they finally just do it right. That's not how you make it great. You know, so we put in all this time in these reps because not just for the physical part of it, but for the mental part of it, because physically, yes, we wanna make sure that we've done it so many times

that when it does not do exactly how it's supposed to, we can still make it through because that's the one thing I always tell them too is the one thing I can guarantee is that it everything will not be perfect. So how are you going to handle it? How are you going to go out there and make it look like everything was so easy and we did it great because we know everything's not going to be perfect. You're going to have a bad grip Your tummy is gonna feel weird at this moment, but you still have to keep going you still have to lay it on your feet. Everything has to stay in the air

So so we put all this time and all these reps and to get it right and then we put all these top this time and these reps and to not get it wrong How you know when you when you catch that stunt and it's weird, but you have to make it say, like, that's part of that practice and preparation for that one time, because you said it earlier, we only get one chance. We don't have a whole thing. We get one chance. So when that grip's not right,

how are you going to make it look right, you know? And then it makes it, the other whole part of children is mental. Because it's the most scary, nerve-wracking, exciting, adrenaline-flowing moment. You step out there, and your muscle memory has to take over. Because your mind's all over the place, but you also need to be so confident in yourself that you can calm those nerves. So it's really just this big preparation game mentally and physically.

That is what separates you. The men are said earlier, people that are great do things unconsciously. You said, well, who would you say, who would stop just when you get it right? Well, just about everybody does. That's what makes you different. And this is true in every single thing.

I watch it. We got it right. Let's go. Sales people, you're trying to sales people. All right, they got it. Let's go. Next thing. No, you can do it over and over and over until they're so familiar with doing it right,

that's like a foreign experience when it's not, and they can move back to getting it right quicker than most people. In golf, they call that dispersion. Like, I'm a crappy golfer. The reason is, my bad shots can go 80 yards left or 100 yards right. Bad players, or good players, still hit bad shots. The difference is their dispersion is smaller. There's his 10 yards too far left, 10 yards right.

They can get back to better quicker, because they're more familiar with it. So that's a huge thing that someone is one 14 freaking championships does, that she doesn't get why no one else does it, and why she do it, competitiveness. Because ultimately in anything in life, you're gonna get your standard, not your goal.

So every team has the goal of winning the championship, right? But what's different is the standards in her program. You eventually get your standard. That's the culture. So it just fires me up. Thank you for that. I love it. Let me talk about you all day long. We're going to talk about dancing with the stars in the minute. Because I want to get to where you had some pain. We're going to go to a pain point in a minute. But one more thing you say, there's just so much stuff in here as a leader and someone who that I just knows true, right? So you give little tips in there

that I don't think are little. You said something in the book, I think it's chapter 19 or 20, how I know this, I don't know, but you said find a training buddy. And before you answer this, I wanna give the context to everyone because I want people to hear the greatest

of what she does version of it. Not enough of you find someone to run with in your business life or your fitness life. I'm going to get in shape. Find a training buddy. I'm going to make sales calls. Find someone to do it with. And you even break this down even in your own program. So to elaborate on that, why is it matter to have someone you're sort of partnering with

and why? What do you do with them? Well, I think a lot of things, accountability, motivation, support system, all these things that you need. I mean, you're talking about working out. I mean, how easy is it to go, you know, kind of tired today, you know, but when you have someone to hold you accountable, I mean, that, you know, then that's your support system. Your support system keeps you on track. It keeps you accountable. It keeps you going because life does get crazy. It gets hard and it's so easy to go,

whoo, how to really tough day. I think I'm just gonna take to not all, you know, or I'm really going through this. So I'm just gonna take to not all. I'm really going through this, so I'm just not gonna be my best today. No, no, no, no. We gotta be there for each other, and that's the great thing about cheerleading is, we're really anything.

We're there, everybody's gonna have a, we have 20 people on the mat. Odds are, there's gonna be a day that one of those 20 people is going through something. Whether it's a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, your parents are going through a divorce. You failed your test that day. Whatever, it's some personal issue. You might not be able to be your best that day, but you've got your support system to carry you through that. But the next day, you might have to be the support system because now you're at a better point,

that day mentally, physically, you can help carry them through that routine, whether it's just a tap on the leg that's like, let's go and that's all they needed to hear to make it through the rest or you're literally hugging them afterwards and getting them through and mentally ready to go that next fall out

It's really could be anything, but you know I do talk about in the book like you know like my dad had a stroke several years ago And if I didn't have my sister to help We are each other support system to take care of him because it is a tough job Taking care of your parent, you know. Sure. Sure. I'm sorry about that by the way. That is difficult. I'm amazed by how many people in life don't find that person. Even for me in business, you still have a sunny night phone call with two people. We would just like review what we were working on and what our anxieties were.

And it's just someone just go Hey, this is on my head right now my heart and you get rid of it a little bit This book frankly this conversation is like a master class So I'm really grateful you're doing this morning. I told you when you started this thing You're gonna be like the cream stuff like we're getting into it because it's a I want I do this show literally It's a labor of love for people I want their lives to get better I try to bring them every week somebody who's the best at something. And this is this goes to life skills have someone about stuff off of review your competitiveness

look at your standards do things until you can't get them wrong all of these different things compassionate accountability and leadership with people these are all things this idea of gaining respect and being aspirational. One other thing you do, and this is the hard part for most people. And it's chapter four, you say separate fantasy from reality. And I'm going to let you talk about this because I don't think most people even get honest with themselves. I think they do two things. There's certain people just deny what they need to improve and do, right? And they just, they won't define reality. They go, I'm a little, I hate to say it this way, you know, I'm a little pudgy.

No, you become fat. You know, and they don't define it, right? Or, you know, I'm a little bit lazy. No, like you are blowing it in your life. And then there's the other side where people don't define reality and make themselves feel worse about where they are. You know, I suck at this. I'm no good. Nobody loves me. No one will love me. I'm not likable. No, that's not true at all. You've created a false reality about yourself that you're reinforcing and proving to be true because you believe it in your life,

right? So you're going to prove what you believe long term. So in the book, you talk about a little bit differently, but separate fantasy from reality. How's that work? Well, yeah, absolutely. So you hit it when you said, you know, the people that create their own problems, that's, ooh, that's such a pet peeve of mine. But I, you know, here's the thing, I'm really tough on myself. And I do think that the key to being successful in anything is always looking at yourself, always. And I'm really good at that. If, if there's a problem, the first thing that asked myself is, what did I bring to the table? What could I have done better? And I think there's so many people in this world right now that are looking to blame someone else.

And I don't know why. I don't know if it's because they don't... They feel bad about, you know, if they weren't... I don't really don't know. to me Taking ownership of something is the best way to gain respect, you know like if if you come to me and say I Whatever I screwed up. I did this that you've just gained a little bit of respect because if I come to you and say hey Did you you know where you you involved in this situation? And they go, well, you know, so and so, you know, they start putting the blight trying to have an excuse

of why and this, like that to me just, it doesn't show accountability for, even if you didn't, even if you didn't even, you know, if you weren't that big of a part of it. Like, at least, you know, I, at least I probably could have done something to diffuse the situation, but here's what happened. Without putting any blame on other people, and I think that if you take that responsibility,

you are always working on yourself and not saying, well, I'm not kind of pudgy. No, let me look at this really. What am I looking at here? And how can I get better? And being vulnerable almost, like, it's okay to not be perfect. And I'm bad at that myself because I am a perfectionist, very hard on myself. Like, yeah, I want to be perfect at everything. And I really, over the years, have learned to be more vulnerable everything. And I've really over the years have learned to be more vulnerable and go, it's okay to make mistakes because that's how we get better. That's how we grow. That's how we learn. And it's okay to own that and say it to the world. I'm gonna stop, you know. And good.

For me, if I have a friend who's never said I'm sorry or have changed my mind long term, like if I know them a long time, that's unhealthy. That's not a good sign in a friend or a business partner. I like leaders who go, hey, I messed this one up. You know, give me some grace. I did it. My intentions were good. I just called the wrong shot, or I made a bad choice.

Do you think it's connected to confidence? I'm just thinking as you're talking. Like, I think if you're confident and something doesn't happen around you, you think, well, I should be better than this. I think sometimes this pushing it off to other people, they just don't believe in themselves. And so rather than look at themselves, who they don't like, don't like me. I don't want to look at me. I don't want you to look at me. So it's this person's fault or it's that. And I feel sad when someone's that way. But if you are that way,

one of the things to evaluate is, how do you feel about yourself? Because I think if you can say, listen, I'm capable of something really great and you believe that when it doesn't happen, you assume it's you. You assume there's things you could do better. You assume there's a lesson in it, but when you don't feel great about you, I bet you if you think back through your coaching too, Monica, the ones who constantly push it off to other people or the ones who, the truth is, if you really evaluate it, don't believe in themselves like they need to.

And so they push it off to someone else. And I think that's what, like a lot of times I'll go, well, sometimes you just don't know until you know, you know, if that makes sense. You don't know until you know. So I think a lot of the life lessons that sometimes we'll just have a little talk with the team or whatever. And I just try to tell, that's something that I do say sometimes to them is, just take ownership. Like, actually, people will respect you. It's okay to make a mistake. We are all human and we will all make mistakes. I'm going to make plenty.

And I'm going to apologize and own it and move forward because that's all we can do. And that right there will earn you a lot of respect in other people's eyes. And so, I'm hoping that just by them hearing it and going, wow, I never thought about it that way. You know, I just did, I just was too ashamed to admit that I did wrong. But you know what? That's powerful to admit that I did wrong. So maybe it's okay, it's like it give them the okay to say, I screwed up. Yeah, that's why I hate politics so much.

Oh, because you're not even allowed as a politician to go, whoops, made a mistake. They'd rather just keep us all sort of against one another. And then even as a leader, you're running a damn country over four years. You're going to make mistakes. Man, what I love to get me, oh, hey, I called the wrong shot. My intentions were good. I'm going to get it right the next time. I'll be like, I'll follow that woman through the through a wall. That man through a wall, but they never admitted it. It's always someone else's fault. I'm like, I can't eat. I take nothing any of you say to be truthful

because you just don't have any accountability. Is this one of the things I have on politics? It's just that people always ask me about it. I can't stand it. All right, speaking about can't stand it. You did dancing with the stars. And it's interesting. I want to share the experience with me.

Was it hard for you to be someone who's coaching most of the time to then have it flipped on you? And basically, you're the one being coach. And I think your back wasn't doing well either. So what was that whole dancing with the stars experience like for you? Good or bad or yeah? Well, it was the hardest thing I've ever done.

And so I would do it again in a heartbeat because it was a great experience. But no, it was not fun. It was not fun. It was hard. I think I'm very competitive. So originally, I was like, oh, this is competition. I know how to do competition, I know how to mentally prepare, I know how to physically prepare, I've got this, I can do this. And I got there and I was kind of shocked at how intimidated I was because I'm not used to being that intimidated. I'm usually have a lot of confidence. Even when I'm not doing something that I'm that great at, I still feel like I'm confident.

Like, I can get through this. I'll, you know, I'll do my very best and just I have confidence in myself. And I got there and I was like, I was intimidated. And I realized very quickly that it's not really a competition. I mean, it's a, you know, and not only that, all of these people that were there participating, a lot of them were performers that were on stage, you know, the past, however many years of their life,

they were, you know, they did Broadway, they were, they did this or that. Well, yes, I was a cheerleader 30 years ago, you know, I mean, it's been a long time. I'm on the other side of that. I'm not actually out there on a stage performing. I know how to get these people ready, but I've not physically done that myself in a really long time. And I have zero acting skills. And I also Russ quickly that that was kind of a big part of it too. So I saw it as, a lot of catching up to do. And so, you know, and also there was a lot of talk in the media.

Every question I got from, because we did lots of press, every week we were doing press. And the question was always, oh, the coach is being coached. How is she going to handle it? And so I went in and I was like, oh my gosh, I need to be the perfect student because I don't want to not be a great student. I would expect someone else. So what I did was I just did everything I was told and I never spoke up, which I know was not right.

I mean, I was, you know, I finally spoke up, but I just was doing everything I was told and I wasn't communicating like I know that I should be. And maybe it's because I hadn't been in that student role in a long time. I'd always been in the coaching role and I was just trying to be that good student. And yes, sir, whatever you say, let me do it. And really, once I decided to speak up and say, this is not working for me, the way that you're coaching me, everything turned for the better. And the experience was a lot better. And I think our rapport was a lot better after that. And so learning lesson for me, do what I know is right, and which communication is so

important. And I should have spoken up sooner, you know, but at the end of the day, the experience putting myself out of my comfort zone and through all of that was, I think everybody should get themselves out of their comfort zone every once in a while. Yeah. Do you think, speaking of communication in your sport, there's something called Matt Talk, which I didn't know it was until I started watching. Did you guys lack that? Tell them what Matt Talk is and by the way, how much there's a chapter in book called Talk, Talk,

Talk. And yet you could do Dancing with the Stars and you're saying I didn't talk talk talk. I didn't. And so talk about that. Well, Matt talk is basically just encouragement. Obviously in cheerleading, if we're doing a routine pullout, it's a lot of yelling because we're if you're on your you want to basically give some people's routine is harder at a certain moment than others. And so if my routine is easier at this moment and yours is harder, I'm yelling for you.

I'm giving you my energy. If I'm on the sidewalking, I'm yelling. I'm giving you my energy. It's just, honestly, it's into the day. It's encouragement, but in cheerleading, it's very powerful. It's passionate. It's loud. It's energy just when there's a good map, talk during a-out, it's magic. It's really magical because

it's a lot of energy just all over the floor. But it also, in real-life terms, just could just be simply, you've got a presentation. I'm going to give you a ton of encouragement before you go out there. You're about to kill this. You've got this, don't worry about it. You're a badass, whatever you wanna say. You know, so that's what it is. And you know, as far as dancing with the stars, I think in the dance world, the culture that they come from, being condescending is kind of like the norm. And it's not the norm where I come from.

So I was like, whoa, I'm not used to being talk to like this. You know, I'm not, I don't talk to my kids like this. When I want to get the best out of them, it's an encouraging, like, you've got this. I mean, it's an encouraging talk. So the condescending yelling, like, that's not how I run my team. And so it kind of just shocked me.

And I was like, okay, but I'm the student here. So I'm just gonna do what I'm told. This is obviously what works in this environment. So let me just do, but I know better, you know? And so... Monica, I gotta tell you, for everyone that's on audio, your face just totally changed. When you talked about being talked to that way, like there's a hurt or there's a pain

look on your face. I'm not kidding you. Oh goodness. And what it is is it violates one of your principles, which is respect. Yeah. And and your face changed. If everyone listen to an audio, just trust me on this. There's this massively accomplished woman.

And for five seconds her mind went to how she was talked to and her whole face changed. And so that's one thing as a leader, you know, you better be really careful about treating people with respect. I don't think there's any environment where disrespect still works. Now, there are some sports and cultures. Maybe it's in dance where they've taken archaic ideas and strategies and ways of communicating into the future, but that doesn't mean someone who didn't communicate the correct way with positive energy wouldn't do better than them. And so it's really, really powerful.

And this point of energy too, it's this invisible force. Most people don't get that winners get that people respond to energy. You need to talk about Matt talking, creating energy. But this is true, even when you're presenting or in your in your family has an energy when you walk in the house. I can feel it in some homes when I walk in them. There's a loving, kind, beautiful energy. You go on to other ones, you can just feel the energy is different, right? You go to a culture, I go to speak to sports teams or companies.

Some of them are men, their energy and culture is winning and fun and loving and achieving and other ones, it's not and it's an energy thing and it's invisible and it's true in sports as well. And that's you didn't have the right energy there. Did you just wasn't the right energy. Yeah, it was it was different. And I wasn't used to it. And so I and I should have spoken up because at once I spoke up, it was completely different. You know, I just, I learned a valuable lesson there. Do you let your kids do that? You're open to that when they go,

hey, this isn't, you want them communicating back with you as a coach, saying, hey, this isn't working for me, the way we're talking right now or the way you're saying it or that's okay with you. Well, yeah, as long as it's respectful, of course, yeah. And, you know, I mean, we have open door policy. You want to come talk to me in the office about whether it be like, hey, I felt this top of way because, because a lot of times that's a miscommunication.

And I definitely want someone to come to me and they feel some type of way because I wanna correct the situation and or if there was a miscommunication, make sure that it's clarified and because I would never want someone to feel unheard or treated disrespectfully or, you know, and sometimes everyone's different. So, you know, sometimes the quieter people, maybe I'm not reading them very well

and I'm thinking they're being lazy and they're just intimidated. I don't know. So we definitely need to have that communication, whether it's them coming to me and say, hey, my feeling's got hurt today because I felt like I was overlooked or whatever. I don't, you know, because it's an opportunity for me to reassure them and give them back

some confidence and then just not have any miscommunication or misinterpretation because that'll get you all out of whack. Yeah, you guys, I over prepare for interviews as you know, right? So I know everything. I probably know more about Monica's book than Monica knows, because I know, right? But there's a part of the book. We're not gonna get into now, because I've got two questions left.

But to this point, don't assume everybody's like you. And my biggest mistake as a young leader is, I ended up looking around after about six, seven years and everybody that worked with me was just like me. They were intense, they were males, they were all former athletes or military in real discipline. They loved how I taught.

They loved my style, but I didn't have any real diversity of person. I had diversity from a race standpoint or religion. I had people from all cultures, that's just me. But the truth is, we're all the same person. Once I figured out, hey, I've got to be able to communicate with different types of people, the quiet ones, the shy ones, the less confident ones, the ones who communicate just differently, but I didn't do that very well. So there's a whole chapter in the book about that that she's really great at doing.

And if you watch the show, you know, she's got people from all different backgrounds, certainly different than hers. Okay, two questions left. Pressure. It's different. I have to think it's different of nailing the routine three weeks before Daytona than it is. Now we're out there. Do you do anything? Is it just preparation or repetition? But that, we got two minutes, it's two minutes, 15 seconds, right? That's what it comes down to. Okay. So is there anything you do like

that day, an hour before to calm them? Is there any trick of the trade or anything like? Because for some people, they're two minutes and 15 seconds is, I've got to close this deal right now. Or I'm going to ask this woman out on a date. And that's their two minutes and 15 seconds of their life. And they're, is there anything you do to help them deal with pressure?

Well, you know, I think the only thing that we can control is our preparation for that one moment. And so we do put a lot of preparation into our mental game because that's where that mental part comes in. Because we know physically we're ready. Physically, we have trained and done everything that we feel like we need to to go out there and put out our best performance. Mentally though, that's where it can get you, you know. So that Mentally though, that's where it can get you. So that pressure is mental.

That pressure is mental. So when we're preparing at home, the other thing that we do besides physically doing the routine over and over, is we try to put ourselves in that moment. So in Daytona, the warm up facility is kind of a long walk. It's across the street, what you gotta go way back. And so we do our whole warm up as if we're in Daytona.

So we will, we do our mat rotations exactly like it's gonna be in the warm up room. We time it, I've got my clock going, time in each section, we run it just like it's going to be in there. I try to announce it. So honestly, after we start, the vets know how it works. I could walk out, I could walk out and not coach again.

And the vets are that, they know exactly how my mind works and they know exactly how we're going to run a warm up. But the warm up never changes. So as soon as we get in this routine of what the warm up is going to be and the new people understand it, it never changes and it puts them in. So what we say in Daytona, it's just another day at practice. It's just that this is not a big deal. It's just another day at practice. So we do our warm up through, they get to get, I'm timing it however many minutes I think they're going to have exactly before they compete on that band show, that's how many minutes they get, they go to the bathroom, they get a drink,

and then we walk to our clock tower to mimic the walk from across the street. So they walk to the clock tower, they come back, they do their prayer, they do their talk, they come in, they get ready, they come out, we do our thing. So we really mimic the pressure. Because I feel like what pressure is, it's that different environment and going, wait a minute, I don't know what I'm doing. I feel out of sorts. You know, we're not at practice anymore.

We're just, you know, so we try to really take away the pressure by really mimicking how you're going to feel in that moment. And we do it day in and day out. It's very routine. And so when we're in Daytona, we say just another day at practice. That's all this is. It's another day at practice. And it takes away a little bit of that anxiety of the unknown because we've tried to really mimic it as much as we can. And for me personally, I just want to, again, try to remain calm.

And I try to keep my demeanor as this is another day at practice. This is no big deal. It's just another day at practice. We've got this. You are incredible. And just go out there and do what you do every single day in the gym, you know? That is brilliant.

I wish that was in the front of the interview. I hope everyone stuck around. No, seriously, that's brilliant. One of the most brilliant things, and by the way, secret sauce and sightful that you over and over simulate real conditions, so they become familiar with them.

You said something I've never thought of before. The pressure is actually something new and unfamiliar, basically. And that when something's very familiar, the pressure level is reduced. I've never thought about it that way. It's one of the most brilliant things I've ever said on my show.

And I wish it was in Minute Five, because I hope everybody stuck around for that. I want this to be one of the Instagram clips to my team by the way. That is so, so, so good. And I don't know that I do a good enough job in my other businesses. I definitely don't do a good enough job in my golf game.

When that big put comes, it's a totally different putt than the one for no money and I'm a lose. I love you. I think you're awesome. I just, I had no idea when these dudes are like, watch cheer that I would run into one of the great leaders of our time. And I know for you, you're like, come on, it's true. Statistically, it's true. And then listening to you, this isn't by coincidence. Your success isn't a fluke. This isn't just luck.

This is a formula that you developed over time, that you stumble into, because you're working at some computer deal you don't wanna do. That just blows my mind. That just blows my mind. The last thing. So by the way, thank you for today.

Yeah, thank you. Really. I've enjoyed this. Last thing. No, no, no humble part here. Other than what we've talked about here, what is special about you? There's, you don't do what you've done in your life and continue to do if you just average an ordinary. So if someone said, it's not bragging Monica, what is different about you? You know, you walk into these competitions. You're peak caulking around there a little bit inside like, hey, I, I, there's something we got here.

I got something on you. What is it? Don't, and don't do, I don't know our shucks. You know what it is. So what would you say it is about you? That's don't do I don't know our shucks. You know what it is. So what would you say it is about you? That's just different that's caused you to be great. I think I'm smart and I approach things from like I said when I first came in, I was like, I use my brain. How am I going to win a national championship? Let me think this through. And, you know, and

I'm not saying that I'm brilliant by any means, but I do think I'm smart. And I do think things through, you know, carefully. And of course, the being competitive and all that helps, like you said, a competitive person has that drive. And I think the fact that I am very tough on myself. And I try to always look at myself first about how to do better. And I've gotten very good at that, like taking the ownership and really working on myself. I listen to a lot of podcasts.

I listen to a lot of great people because I want to learn and be better. I listen to a lot of great people because I want to learn and be better and not just think, oh, we won. We're good. You know, I want to still grow and be better and learn from other people myself. I think that growth addiction is a big separator. Obviously, the competition part, you're obviously more strategic than most, which you call smart, and I agree with you on that. But I think this idea of still wanting to grow is how you can do something for 27 years and still want to do it another year, because you want to grow.

You're addicted to the growth part of it. I really think you're remarkable. And if there's anything I can never do for you, I'm here. Thank you. And I hope that we stay friends because I enjoyed today's conversation. You'd make me better. Oh, thank you. Yes Thank you for having me. I really really enjoyed this. Yeah, this is special. So hey everybody

Watch cheer season two go get full out by the way the subtitles cool lessons in life and leadership from America's favorite coach And you've become my new favorite coach everyone that brings me into their teams of speak. Sorry. I got a new face It's Monica anyway, y'all. I hope that you enjoyed it. I know you did. And then you just enjoy it. You got better today. Didn't you? You learned some stuff today. Didn't you? And it improved your life. And every year, I opened up, say it could be as a parent, could be as a business person, could be in your fitness, could be in every area, even the faith part of your lives are so many lessons from Monica. So fastest growing show on the planet for a reason, we keep doubling every 90 days. And we're already huge. So this, because you guys all share the show. I know you're going to want to share this one. So fast is growing show on the planet for a reason. We keep doubling every 90 days and we're already huge.

So this because you guys all share the show. I know you're going to want to share this one. So please continue to do that. And God bless each and every one of you and keep maxing out your life. Take care. This is the end my let's show. you you