THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Lessons From 2022 That Will Shift Your Identity w/ Ed Mylett

Episode Date: December 27, 2022

CHANGE is INEVITABLE and in order to live your best life, you’ve got to have EFFECTIVE STRATEGIES in place to get the most out of those changes.Some changes YOU CHOOSE and some changes you don't, but you get to CHOOSE HOW TO HANDLE THEM.At the beginning of 2022, I decided to make the core message of what I wanted to share with you about EMBRACING CHANGE.My book, THE POWER OF ONE MORE, my television show, CHANGE WITH ED MYLETT and my podcast, The Ed Mylett Show are ALL dedicated to making POSITIVE CHANGES to give you the powerful tactics I have used throughout my life so that YOU CAN TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE.This week, I wanted to share some highlights from past episodes focusing on CHANGE to help you lead a better life in 2023 and beyond.You’re going to hear great advice from my conversations with…➡️ DR. JOE DISPENZA with practical steps on how to change negative thinking➡️ TONY ROBBINS shares the traits of FULFILLED PEOPLE and the seasons of our lives➡️ JAIME KERN LIMA on handling other people’s limiting beliefs➡️ Why you should look in the mirror to EMPOWER YOURSELF with ERIC THOMAS➡️ Overcoming physical and mental pain with PHIL HEATH➡️ JENNA KUTCHER on balance and the importance of resting well so you can hustle well➡️ Dealing with thoughts of not feeling worthy of your success with DEAN GRAZIOSIHere’s to a BLESSED and PRODUCTIVE 2023.

This is the Ed Milach Show. Hey guys, this year has been absolutely incredible. We're now the fastest growing show in the world. And that's thanks to so many of you that every single week share the episodes with people that you know it'll make an impact on or that you care about and love. We've had 52 episodes and every week's been filled with guests who have shared life-changing advice, wisdom, experience, the tactics and strategies that I know have changed your lives and some of the shows have saved lives with the emotional content we've had that

affect human beings and the heart as well. To close out this year we've created a highlight reel with some of the most impactful clips. Thank you so much for tuning in every week. And I'm excited for 2023. You're going to love these highlight clips. It'll take you back. And if you've missed some episodes, you're going to hear stuff you've never heard before. Until then, remember to max out. God bless you. How do you handle your family that doesn't necessarily want you to succeed? Because they're more comfortable if you stay stuck and poor like them. How do you walk in your success and enjoy it? And so I think that's interesting because you're saying your kids will figure out who you

are and really, really go for it. And a lot of people are struggling because maybe they're parents, they're loved ones, they're friends and family actually kind of prefer if they just stay stuck. Yeah, mind it, mind it. And I could tell you on the other side of it, they loved me. They were, most of the time, they truly love you. They're very concerned about you. And let's be honest, if you're an entrepreneur, there's a lot of struggle. And most parents don't want to see their children hurt. They don't want to see you go through difficult times. Then there's the other part of it with like, oh, you're, you know, you're all after the money thing or, you know, what's important is family and what people, what they fail to understand because of their own

limiting beliefs. Here's what's going to happen in your life. People with limiting beliefs are going to be projecting onto their belief systems over and over and over and again. And as long as you are aware that that's what's happening, that it's not probably, look, there's probably some folks in your family that are antagonistic against you, but the vast majority love you. They love you. They're projecting onto their limiting belief systems. Here's what I can tell you that I know for a fact that when you win, and you know I talk a lot about this in the book, the second chapters about the Matrix, and I talk about Neo, and

Neo in the Matrix is the one, and you know that I'm well known for saying that you can become the one in your family that changes the happiness and success level. Because in every family that you see that's wealthy or just happy, at some point in their lineage way, way back, they weren't. And then the one shows up, the Neo, the Jamie, and that family shows up.

And here's what I can tell you having been a person who's sort of has been the one, is that you actually change the way they think eventually. And that my family now embraces bigger thinking. My family now embraces chasing dreams and maximizing your potential. It took a while, took a couple decades, but that type of talk will not happen in my family again.

And so the fact that that's happening two year in your family makes it even more requisite upon you to go do something great so that that legacy of limiting thinking and small thinking and playing life small and settling for, listen, it's not just good enough to be a good person in life. You're supposed to contribute. You're supposed to make a difference. You were born to be a good person in life. You're supposed to contribute. You're supposed to make a difference. You were born to make a difference in your life.

And so yeah, a ticket into the game is being a good human. A ticket into the game is being kind and caring, which is pretty rare nowadays. So that's a ticket into the stadium. But then you gotta get on the field and play. And they play the game is what life's all about. We were put here to play the game, and I can tell you that on the other side of it,

here's the great news. Your family won't think that anymore, that way anymore, when you're done. My family doesn't think like that anymore. My nephews, my nieces, my sisters, my mom, my family, they don't think like that anymore. They get it. And so I not only change the financial dynamic

of my family, I change our emotions. I change the way we think. And by the way, I would say that had my dad not made the decisions he made, I would have never been in a position. The sacrifice as he made allowed me to be the one. And so the other thing last day I'd say, is a lot of you have beautiful souls

and you're family of sacrifice so much for you. It's incumbent upon you not to rise up and to become that one that finishes the game, finishes the job. Some of you come from families with legacies of real tragedy in your family, or maybe you're born into a dynamic where your entire race has been victimized, most of the generations of your existence, and you have ancestors that have sacrificed for you. I don't have that history, but many of you do. Man, you got to do something great and honor them

and take it to the next level and honor those sacrifices they made. And so, it'll change the way they think eventually. What you just shared is gonna change someone's life today. I'm wondering the commonality of the fulfilled people. Is there something that they have in common if you took the group of the fulfilled ones? Yeah. Patterns, behaviors, something about them that if I wanted fulfillment in my life that you see they all have in common? Yes. You got to

separate two skills out. I think most people in life think success is getting what you want. And fulfillment is living what you're made for. You know, and so getting what you want is not that complex, right? The human brain, you can train your brain to become this servo mechanism. They'll go figure out how to solve something. A lot of people without a goal or desire where they got so obsessed, they couldn't stop thinking about it. They didn't even have a plan. And they met somebody and then something else happened. It came together right now. They also had consciousness and effort and discipline and it's heck of a lot easier to achieve those things. But frankly, with enough focus and enough massive action

and enough consistency and modeling what already works, you can pretty much achieve anything. Because when it comes to science, we're talking about the science of achievement. Your body's a science. You might be biochemically slightly different, but there's certain rules that if you violate them, you're going to have problems in pain. If you align with them, you have eye energy. Money is the same way. It's a film that's

different because what fulfills people is completely different. It's like, you want to know what the universe or God loves, go to a forest. What do you see? Everything's different. Every leaf, every little snowflake. There's similarities, but there's all these differences. And so people have got to find what makes them really fulfilled. But I can give you, there's not laws like they are for success, but there are principles. And the two principles I can tell you, and answer your question, who's most fulfilled?

It's people that are growing and people that are giving. We are made to grow. If we don't grow, it doesn't matter how much money you made, does how many people gave you Academy Awards, stars on your chart. I mean, I get the phone calls from all these people. You would think have the greatest life in the world and then they're calling me because it's not so great, because they haven't mastered the inner world. They're good at the outer world, but this one hasn't been given enough time or energy. They've been so

focused out here and they've done so well out here, not so well in here. This is the one you want to do well on. You're well here, you can master the outside world too, you can handle anything. So for me, it really comes down to looking at it and saying, okay, if you and I are gonna have an extraordinary level of fulfillment, what's gonna make me grow? Cause that's what's gonna make me proud. And to grow, you gotta face challenges.

And I think the biggest problem most people have is the biggest problem they have is they think they shouldn't have problems Problems are a sign of life. Problems will make you grow now You know I'd rather call it a challenge. I'd rather look at the challenge and take it on as a challenge But you and I both know I have grown so much in last 24 months Take 105 companies some of which were literally shut down for, you know, 12 months, keeping them alive, not letting go of my employees, figure a way to turn around,

figuring out, adapt. I mean, I developed more skill and ability to help other people, because I had to manage my own state unbelievably so, I had to help other people manage their state. So without the challenge, what I grow so much, probably not. And then, out of growing, you have something to give. And, you know, you think about it, Ed, and I know you're this way, but I think we're all this way. If you haven't experienced a something that's really amazing, something you love, what's the first thing you want to do? Yeah. Share it. Yeah. Of course. Share what somebody you care about. Right? Why? Because if you just have it in yourself, you only feel so much, but sharing it magnifies it. So the people I see that they're just growing and giving,

but they also are really good at this pattern recognition. So let me give you one more note about pattern recognition because I don't want to complete the thought for your listeners and viewers. Think of it this way. There's power when you recognize the pattern and you can use it. There's even greater power sometimes

when you can create a pattern. So think of it from the standpoint of humanity. For thousands of years, we were wandering through the environment, trying to survive, moving from place to place, being, you know, gatherers and hunters of that nature. And then when did humanity change? We made one pattern recognition, seasons. See, when we understood seasons for the first time, we understood, if you plant in the winter, it doesn't matter how hard you try, you're gonna get nothing. Yeah, you have to plant in the spring.

Wow. You gotta push through the hot summer and then you get to have the fall where you reap and then guess what? The winter's coming in again. And some winters are long, some are short, you know, some happen sooner, some later, but you can't break these sequence. And so there's a pattern, that pattern changed humanity. I'll tell you the pattern goes to anybody else. Realizing there's a pattern to your own life. There's a pattern zero to 20 is for most people springtime. It's where it's the easiest to grow. You're being taken care of if you're lucky. Some of us maybe not. Some of us have to take care of others at a young age,

but regardless overall, 019 2021, you get to gather and learn information and be taken into some extent, depending upon your life. Then what happens 21 to 41? You go test that shit and decide what you believe. Like they told me how to be this way, I screw that, I'm gonna try this.

You know, you go to college, you go try something, you start a business, you get in relationship, and you have all this testing procedure. And so now you go through the hot summer, figuring it all out. And then if you've really done a good job planting in the spring and building through that summer, you'll hit the autumn where you get to reap. If you've done really well, 41 to 61 is a reaping time.

Now, if you didn't plant in the spring, you know, Jim Rohn, you just talk about you'll be weeping in the fall. You don't do it right? If you don't do your job, you're going to have problems. But that pattern is in people's lives. And then 61 to 81. And if you're lucky, you went to 102. That's the extended next season of winter. But winter can be the best season in your life. You have a great time with your family, your close, you're mentoring people.

You have a different experience. You have plenty of business. You can do whatever you want to do or not want to do. So those are seasons. But then there's one more pattern. And this is the one I hope I'll reach your listeners of yours with. It's often said, history doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes. Okay. Any lesson we don't learn from history tends to repeat itself because as the older people

die who know how bad history, like let's say the World War II generation, then the lessons are lost. So think about this just for a second. Imagine for a second, you want to understand how generations are built. Here's my simple math for it. Imagine this for your viewership right now. Awesome. Think of yourself. Imagine you're born in 1910. So you're going to come of age 19, 2021 and 19, 29. Now, you have a very different experience because what happened? World War War ended. It looked really good. And then the roaring 20s happened while you're 10, 12, 14 years old. People are getting cars and radios and people are dead. This is the greatest time of life. And right when you come to that stage, you thought you're going to get a car. Red light jumping out of buildings, the economy's going through the floor.

We got the dust bowl. I mean, that generation, from 21 to 41, what happened when they turned 29? Well, think of their born in 1910. That means 1939. So they made it through the depression, that generation, to go to a war that most people don't even know what is it about It was a war that if you were alive at that time it looked like Hitler was gonna win Like it was taking over the entire world I've been Nazis. It looked like we're gonna lose it did not look good

So all of a sudden this generation goes to fight this war for survival And that's what they come back in 1945 and they win. And I'll think about it. They were born in 1910, right? So here they are, 35 years old. And they come back to being a hero, veterans administration, suburbia, they can have a home, they can finance it. And these heroes came back and they took care of art. They were the next springtime. Think about it was like 30s and 40s versus the 50s and 60s. Say

the 50s to early 63 before Kennedy was killed. It was a high time for a lot of people. Not if you're African American. Not if you're a woman in some cases. I was just thinking that. But just give you a story component. But think about what happened after Kennedy was killed and then Robert Kennedy and then Martin Luther King, the 60s, a completely different generational race. If you were born at that time, you have a different perspective on life. If you came the age in the 60s, you have a different perspective than someone who came of age in 1929. You're going to look at life differently, going to respond differently. And then what happens in the 80s to do two thousands where with this fall, where you could give anybody anything and they give you a house, right? Where the stock market goes up, no matter what.

But then you get past early 2000s, 2008. And now where we've been since 2008, we're in winter, right? And the good news about winter is in the beginning, it separates people. In the end, when there's a real pressure, like I remember talking to the president Clinton one time and I was 32 years old, I'm walking with him, I can't be a bit into snowing, this little deer went by, it was like a surreal moment. And he's telling me all these things and all these challenges.

And I think in this guy is the president of the United States and he's stressed out, it's concerns me, you know. I don't know how to this guy, right? But I remember looking at the time thinking these are such easy problems compared to earlier generation. So here's why I tell you that the generation that we call the great generation that fought World War II that made a few good oppression that came back and turned things around, that generation was not respected at the beginning. They have seen as flappers early on, They're seeing as weak. They responded

because the environment got tough. That's why my response to you, but the environment doesn't matter. The environment, the most challenging environment is the best environment if you don't give up because it'll bring out things inside of you that nothing else will actually getting serious about your life requires some work other than just being moved emotionally. What is some of that work? Listen to me, I think the first thing and I maybe Steven called me, I don't know. I think that who said it come out the window and get in the mirror. And I think too many of us are in the window, meaning you're looking at everybody else and what everybody else is doing. And you don't know what you want because you know so well what they want. You you feel me like I there's certain things I don't want.

I want a relationship with Ed. I want that. I don't necessarily want some of the like I don't wear watches. I'm not against watches. I don't think it's anything wrong with a watch. I don't think it's just not my thing. I don't ask my faculty if you ever watch me. I don't even like to wear a belt. Like, I got this phobia.

Anything that's on my butt. I wish I could like have a, the Emperor, the naked Emperor. Like, I wish I had his suit. You know what I say? Like, I hate putting on clothes. You feel me? I hate it. But I know that there are people who are constantly watching

what other people are doing. And now you're wanting what they want when you don't even want that. And the way I started this whole UOU video in New Zealand was, I don't, I was with a group of people. I promise you, they ticked me off. You know, they were like, trying to, you need to do this and you need to do that. And I started the whole speech after having a conversation with them saying, to do this and you need to do that. And I started the whole speech after having a conversation with them saying, I don't want what you want. And you're not gonna make me want what I don't want.

I don't want that. I love relationships. I'm gonna add crib and chill. We can drink water, dog on it. I don't care. We can just walk on the beach. As long as there's a relationship and is making me better and is nurturing me and that is feeding that human

Need for a sense of belonging and safety and self-actualization. I'm not really on nothing else and so you know for my birthday What you want to do? Eat I just want to be in the room by myself because I'm always with people or helping people I just want to chill and so I know what I I want. And because I know what I want, I'm not going to do what you want me to do and fail. But you gotta hear what I'm saying, please. When you don't look in the mirror, you are not empowered. When you look in the mirror, you see you

and what you want and what you need to do and what you need to be. When you look in the mirror, you reflect. When you reflect, you transform. When you transform, you change. When you transform, you change. When you change, you do things differently. When you do things differently, you get different outcomes. When you look in the window and you stand at other people, there is no reflection.

It's only comparing. And as long as you compare yourself to another model, I drive a escalator from Detroit. I drive a escalator, a Cadillac, right? When I see a dude in a Bentley, I'm looking at that big like fire. But at no point am I going, I want to trade my Cadillac in for the Bentley. I've seen some fire land. I moved to Cali. Everybody got a range rover. I see some fire range rover. I've seen some Lamborghini. I looked at these vehicles and go, my what craftsmanship.

I've never gone, I feel, this escalate, I feel so bad, I'm in an escalate. This is the car that was my dream car. The black on black. This is what I dreamed of. This is it. This is my dream vehicle. And so I don't look at what others have and compare.

I ask these look at what others have. I ask these look at Ed and go, man, there's a God. Wow, look how he operates in his gift and is anointing. Look at his energy and his passion. Look at his delivery. And then I go, hey God, where's mine? What did you give me?

And out, not give me ads. I don't know, ads? Why? I can't do ads like Ed can do ads. But I can do erics like Eric can do ads, but I can do airstrike like Eric and do air. So I'm saying get out of the window, get in the mirror. Look at you, study you, figure out you. My boy Mustafa said something the other day that was deep. Moose said, when you don't know what to work on, work on yourself. When you

don't know what to work on, work on yourself. And I want to add to that, when you do know what you want, work on yourself because it is the working of yourself and the improving and getting better. It been on this earth. He been on this earth. I've been on this earth. I wasn't ready to meet Ed when I was to do e-not-a-trash cans of victim. I would not have taken advantage of that relationship. I, it wasn't until I got older that the creator said,

oh, you ready, you ready for these type of, you ready for these type of relationships, not, you ready. Why? Because you are who you need to be. I heard the coach McVeigh, I think is his name. He gonna kill me if that's not his name, the coach for the rounds. He'd kill me if that ain't his name. The coach for the rounds. He'll kill me if that ate his name, right? He said, um, yeah, and forgive me, uh, uh, forgive

me. But he said, you know, we brought Eric here because he shares our values. You like, he shares our values and the stuff that we talk about and what we're about, he talks about that stuff. And so I didn't get to go because I'm a great speaker. It's a lot of great speakers. Matter of fact, he said, yo, we don't bring a lot of people in here, but we felt Eric could move the needle and we wanna win another Super Bowl. And so for me, it's like, yo, I wasn't ready for you

20, 30 years ago, and I'm so glad God didn't give me the opportunity, but when he gave it to me because I worked on myself, I worked on becoming a better man for me, not for Didi, not for Jalen, not for my mother. For me, I became a better man because when I looked in the world, I realized I wasn't living up to my potential. And then by doing the work, I connect with another man who's doing the work. Neither one of us, I am, I be a little bit perfect. And I have, but let me tell you something, not perfect, but progressing, trying, fixing, revamping, restructuring, repurposing. And when you do those things,

y'all, I guarantee you the way the brain works and the spirit works, when you start focusing on stuff and you're willing to make the adjustments, it's going to, it it's gonna come to you eventually. I promise you that So how do you view pain? If you thought about that like everything you did every single day required Extreme pain most of the time. So how do you think you have a relationship with it? Like you run towards it every day you habitually embraced pain. Do you think about it in the gym daily? Yeah.

And that interesting? Very. I appreciate the opportunity to answer this. I loved it. You loved pain. Look at your face. Wow. It's a donig on you, right?

Yeah, like the sweat, you know, because it just reminds me of like how many people they, they BS. Oh, the blood, sweat, and tears is like, what blood, what sweat, man? What are we really talking about? We're talking about like doing the work when you are at your most vulnerable in your personal life or in your business. When you don't feel like it. When your friends have turned against you.

When that business partner lied to you. When you're going through divorce. And people are judging you. I'm shaming you. And all I have is the gym and being in gratitude, thinking God that I have the gym to unleash all of that and be my most authentic self in that process of pain. I'm not out drinking and partying and hurting someone else. I'm actually using a pair of dumbbells and barbells and machines and

loud Metallica and hip hop to build something and hoping that what I'm doing is going to create a physique that people will enjoy and do it with a small on my face. And I think with the pain, it's just necessary to feel it, brought me pleasure because I know that it's required. It's going to suck. different than like playing basketball, meaning practically says on the line and you're like I really got a run. Yeah, and then eventually you it's almost like you have to trick your mind and becoming a psycho and saying more more more more and then you mean it. I want more or more, more, more, more anything you mean it. I want more.

If it requires pain inside to become better outside, what better message to my creator and to help other people to deal with theirs? Because people are all dealing with freaking pain. And they're scared to stand in front of it. And it ain't like I don't have demons either that I got to address right? And I've learned that when you hide or you try to, you know, put them on the rug. That's burning me up inside. So if I got to feel some pain now, what's on the other side of it? Try them. I want the triumph at moment. I have to have it because I'm tired of living in this pain.

And yeah, that's how I, I mean, I'm not getting ready for a show right now, but if I was in the gym, people would be like, damn, this guy's a machine, but yet I'm like, that's just what I do. What'd you do? You know, if there's someone listening, it's like, look, I'm in the hustle stage. Yeah. But there is this calling on my heart that I feel like I do need some recuperation. I need some rest. What would you say to them? I know you say a lot of it in the book, but what would you say to them today? That I feel like I do need some recuperation. I need some rest

What would you say to them? I know you say a lot of it in the book But what would you say to them today? Oh my gosh rest I used to suck at resting Which is wild because I am a masterful raster now I Have a chapter called the soul Shavasana where like at the end of yoga where you are supposed to lay on the mat I freaking couldn't do it. I end of yoga where you are supposed to lay on the mat. I freaking couldn't do it. I hated it. I felt like I had to earn it. So I felt like if I'm not sweating enough,

I don't deserve to lie in that mat. And I feel like a lot of the world is trying to earn the right to rest when it's like our birthright, right? Like we shouldn't be embracing rest. And here's what I want to tell people because I know your audience. They are achievers. And achievers take this idea of rest thinking they need to earn it.

And they're not willing to work for it. Rest for me requires just as much work as going full steam ahead. He's not true. It's like, okay, it's like when you go on a vacation and right when you're about to fly home, you're finally unw vacation and right when you're about to fly home you're finally unwinding and you're right about to jump back into the crazy. Oh my gosh, yes. Yeah. I was with our friend our mutual friend Jamie Kern Lima and it was after her book launch and she had worked so hard. Oh my gosh. She did. And we were sitting on this rooftop together and I said, Jamie, it's like you need to do a couch to 5K, but in reverse, you need to teach yourself how to rest.

It's like every day you just need five more minutes, five more minutes of rest and starting to build up your tolerance for being still. And I know for me, like I yearn for rest, but I also have to work for it. Like I have to be mindful. So good. I don't need to be productive right now.

My worth is not in my output. How do I slow everything down, even on the Uber ride over here? I literally was looking out the window, because I could have been looking at my phone and I was like, what do I see? What do I smell? What do I feel? What do I feel? Like, what is in front of me?

And it was like just this practice of like, be here right now. And so rest is not innate for a lot of us, especially the people that are just running, running, running. You've had momentum and have had some success. What about the person who's a young man or woman listening to this, they're like, look, I'm in this stage where like, if I cooled it completely, you know,

there's no food in the fridge. So that's a different situation, but I'm assuming you believe many of these principles still apply. Absolutely. So what would you say to someone who goes, that sounds good. When you got a couple houses like you got,

and you got a couple bucks in the bank, and you got a top podcast, and your book's gonna go New York Times best seller, but I'm not there yet. I'm at a different season. What would you say to them? So I believe there's a tipping point that people will hit and I believe it in the core of my being. And I've seen it so many times.

So there are going to be seasons in your life where money is what you value the most. And that's not coming from a place of greed. It's coming from a place of necessity, right? There are so many seasons where you and I, both of us, have traded our time for money in any way, whether it's staying up late, burning the candle, doing a service, whatever that is. There comes a tipping point when you feel secure and safe enough that you say, no, no, no, I'm willing now to trade my money to get back time, whether it is Instacart or hiring

a cleaner or whatever that looks like for you. When that tipping point happens, you have to realize that the value of earning back your time is not so that you can just spend it earning more money so that you can keep buying back your time. There's this quote story in the book and it's talking about how this Buddhist monk goes to New York City and they go and he the somebody is showing him around the city. They take him down on the subway and he's like, we're going to save 10 minutes and so they come on up out of the subway and the Buddhist monk sits his butt in a park bench And the guys like what are you doing? And he said I'm gonna enjoy the 10 minutes. We just saved and I was like man Like I love efficiency like your girl. I love it. Yeah, but I'm like we're trying to save time to spend more time saving time

So true. It's a problem. So hustling in seasons So, hustling in seasons, necessary. I'm glad you said that. When it is the autopilot and your only way of living and existing, not sustainable. Yeah. That is when people hit burnout. And I think our world is collectively in a situation of burnout and we are desperately waiting for a breakthrough. I agree with you.

And so, it's like your check engine light where it's like you can run for a while like that. But if you are not checking it with yourself, your body, your health, your family, your relationships, anything, pretty soon there's going to be something that has your repairable damage. What is it about most of us that makes us think we're not worthy of being successful? I'm critical of myself, I'm hard on myself, but I've never had this belief, like I don't deserve to win. I may not thought I could. Right. I don't know how I'm going to,

but I've not had it so all the way back there. I'm like, I just don't deserve to win. I, I, someone like me can't win. I've not ever had that. I've had all the other stuff. But what is it? Wow, that's, that's such a good, as you say that, I've never felt that he'd,

I always felt the cards might be stacked against me. This one's going to be rough. Not sure I can get through it. Me too. I've had sleepless nights a lot of them. I've gone, I've gone six months would sleep in two, three hours a night. I'm stressed and you know, my wake up and my brains think and think and think. And I like to share that with people because I think when they see success, they think

man, that was just probably a harmonious ride for you, right? I went through a divorce in the middle of it. Like, I've been through a lot of the things on the opposite side, right? But you've also worked with millions of people, and you know that a lot of them suffer from this. Yeah, they do, but you just said that, I've never felt I didn't deserve it.

And I would say it's, I think it's society. And especially we live in a society right now where, when you're successful, there's a lot of people that look at it as a negative, right? So we almost have this negative association to sales. We have a negative association to success. But I always, here's the last thing I'll say about it. I always, I said this one time on stage randomly and the audience went nuts, but I just said,

when it comes to money and success, it's like you're out of therapist. Money's on one chair. You're on the other therapist in the middle and you go, I hate that money. If I get that money, I might change. I might be a horrible person. And then in the other part, you're like, but I need that money so I can have freedom and take care of my family.

I need control. And I don't want to work in this horrible job anymore. Could you imagine a therapist say, well, we got to get this straight. Do you hate money in that chair? Or do you love money? I'm really unsure. And I think that's the conflict.

I think the conflict is we think I think money and alcohol just expose and compound who you are. You're a jerk sober, you're a real jerk drunk, right? You're violent sober, you're very violent, right? Same with money. And I think if you're listening to Ed Mylett, you have to realize that money is a byproduct of service. And what money can do is listen, when people say to me, money doesn't buy happiness, I say you haven't given enough away. Right? When I was on your stage, I was compelled. I was compelled by you.

I watched your emotions behind camera when you were talking about the families in Texas. I was compelled. Do you know how great you're thanking me? You're thanking me for something that filled my heart. You know how great? You know what? $50, like, you're thanking me for something that filled my heart. You know how great. You know what, $50,000 was to me at 18. I thought if I could make that a year, I'd be the richest man alive.

And to be able to sit on stage and say, Hey, Ed, let's, let me give you another 50 grand. But at the same time, I built two schools in Africa. I've fed seven million people, right? I donated $600,000 last year to Operation Underground Railroad. How blessed are we that we get to do those things, right? So I don't know. You know, earlier I said, Tony, I like when he says, get leverage.

I said, get in the right mindset. If you feel that being successful that you don't deserve it or that money is bad, I'm going to tell you to dig into that. Find out where that is. Ask yourself. One of the simplest ways I always do is ask yourself why seven times. Why do I think I don't deserve it? I'm not that smart.

Well, why do I think not being smart has anything to do with being successful? And just keep asking why over and over again, and you'll get to a point where you'll start getting emotional and be like, everything I just shared is bullshit. This thing you keep telling you about you that holds you back from jumping into a challenge. Hold you back from starting a business.

Hold you back from getting into that relationship or getting fit like you know you should or asking yourself the right questions. You're getting something from it, even if most of it's negative for you. How does one, just in general, start to change the story they tell themselves about their life? Because you're the master. Yes, and I know if you're, if you're

listening to Ed Myle, you've heard this before, you've other people talk about it, but I think it's, maybe this is the first time you get to really feel it, or maybe the silly version that I'm going to give you sticks with you. And if this is why you're here today, this why you're here, here's the way I look at it. We need pain sometimes to disconnect from a story. You know, somebody asked me about success once, and I would love to say I was always aspirational. I wanted more. I didn't want to be like my dad and struggle and be like my mom who worked three jobs to make 90 bucks. And I had this vision of something bigger and better and and being in control of my life and all those things sound good at this phase.

Sometimes you got to go to the dark side. I just didn't wanna be them. My father was miserable and fought with everyone and he'd be in love for six months and be divorced within three and always mad. And sometimes you gotta give yourself permission. When I went in my toughest thing, when I needed the extra boost,

the turbo boost to get off the ground, I'm like, you're going to end up like your dad. You're going to end up broke. You're going to end up alone. You're going to end up not in control your life. Someone else is going to tell you how to raise your kids and how to dress and when to go to work. I would push myself. So sometimes you got to go to the dark side to get the momentum. And I'm telling you to use that to shift your story. Very good. So, Tony always says to get the rocket off the ground, all the energies in the first couple of feet, and then once it gets in space, you hit the button, you're a thousand

miles an hour, right? Do whatever it takes to get the rocket off the ground to start a new business, to say I'm worthy, to shift the story. If it's pain that'll drive you, then use the pain, because half of us run away from pain, half of us run towards pleasure. We know that. You use the one that you're accustomed to and amplify it. Oh my gosh, that's profound.

So amplify the pain. Most people, Joe dispensable, would probably tell you not to do that, and I love that guy, and I'm glad you had him three times. But I needed that. Secondly, you know the story, if you think back, I could have made it

but or I would do it or that's how you find this. The number one thing, I'm, you know, I don't have the money. I don't have the time. My family thinks I'm nuts. I could never do something like this. I'm an introvert. I don't have a following. I don't know what that is, but here's the way I look at it. If you spend enough time today, and this is my quick hack on stories, if you spend enough time today, you can find the one thing. There's lots of them, but you can find the one that's probably held you back the most. So the two things I would say is, go look at what it's already cost you.

Again, this is personal development 101. I don't want to act like I made this up, but I want to remind you today, we all need reminder services. This story, this thing, this two young two old, not money, it's already cost you pain. You already missed opportunities. You already let the ship go down the track, the train go down the tracks. You didn't start the business. You didn't go for the relationship. You didn't fix that thing.

And it's already cost you a lot. So what I say, here's a cool way to look at it. Be like two armies. You already know the story that will come up when you decide to go all in. When you say, you know, I don't care about, I'm going, I'm starting the business, I'm scaling the business, I'm not going to, you already know the army that's coming. You already know the story that's going to go, uh, uh, uh, at Little Eddie, you know, come on, Ed, you know, you know, you know, you came, you know what your house to look like when you were little, you know, you weren't that good school, you know, come on, and you know where you came, you know what your house looked like when you were little,

you know you weren't that good school, you know you cheated in ninth grade, you know you cheated your way through, I'm making this up, I'm just saying. No, I'm just saying. But it's biology. Yeah, yeah, yeah, accounting. So, so if you use the dark or the light,

whatever you need to get the engine going, if you identify the story that's already cost you, and you really think about it, it comes painful. But here's the thing. As you think about this next thing you want to do, you want to thrive in a shifting economy. If that story's coming, it's like you're going to war, but the scout went out and you know that the other army is two days away. You know what kind of guns they have. You know how it kind of horses you have. You're already, here's the thing. You already know your enemy. So if you're not preparing and fortifying and creating the things that block the enemy, then

you're kind of inviting the story back. So you could be, you know, how many Uber drivers have you had? I haven't been in Uber in a while, but before COVID when you're in Uber, how many Uber drivers did you say, oh man, I was I was on my way Dean. I love your books and oh, seven in the market shifted. I lost my business I'm just said the hell with you know, I mean those stories I've heard me to what they've done is they let that army Come in that story come in because at least they have something yeah And what I want to tell you is if you really want more you know your enemy the number one enemy is that story that tells you back You can fortify the gates you can decide to is that story that tells you back. You can fortify

the gates. You can decide to turn that story around and you cannot let it in. You have this unbelievable saying that you say your personal reality is dictated by your personality, right? Exactly. And so just step back into that just for a second, the application of it and creativity for people. And then is it a temporary change? Okay, the process of change is is the difficulty is is that 90% of the thoughts you think are the same thoughts you think you thought the day before Nervous cells that fire together wire together keep firing the same thoughts keep making the same choice Just keep doing the same things keep recreating the same experiences that stamp the same networks of neurons into the same patterns. All for the familiar feeling called you and do that enough times in your biology, your

neurosurcatory, your neurochemistry, your hormones, your gene expression stays the same because you're the same. Okay, so then instead of sitting down trying to meditate for 10 minutes and say, then believe in the thought I can't meditate or I don't have enough time or I'm a really important person or I got too many emails to answer, it's garbage day or it's my mother's fault, it's my ex's fault. I want to complain, I want to blame on them, I want to make excuses, I want to lay down,

my bladder's full, I like this, what am I doing wrong? And they're agitated and patient. That's the personality that has been hardwired and conditioned emotionally into the past that's resisting the unknown. It would rather cling to suffering and take a chance and possibility.

So our events, we say, okay, here's the knowledge and I can say now with a great degree of certainty more than ever, that if you actually do this and you stretch yourself a little bit further than where you would normally go at home, your brain will change. And if you teach people how to do this over and over again, and no different than training an animal, The body is the animal. Are you training the body that you're in charge? Is that what you do? You're telling the body it's no longer the mind

that you're the mind. Yes. And when you do that, those victories add up, and all of a sudden, there's a liberation of energy. There goes the guilt, there goes the pain, there goes the whatever. It doesn't matter if it's health, it doesn't matter if it's wealth or success, it doesn't matter if it's a loving relationship, it change in

a career or mystical experience. Whatever it is, the person all of a sudden starts to relax into the present moment. Now, let's demystify the present moment. People wake up in the morning and they think about their problems and those problems or memories that are etched in their brain that are connected to certain people and objects at certain times and places. The moment they wake up in the morning and they start thinking of their problems or thinking in the past. Okay, now every one of those problems has an emotion associated with it.

So when they feel unhappy, when they feel bitter, when they feel fearful, now their body's in the past. Thoughts are the language of the brain, feelings of the language of the body. Thought and a feeling, image and emotions, stimulus and response, you're conditioning the body to be the mind of that emotion subconsciously. Now the body is believing it's living in the same past experience 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. Why?

Because the body is so objective, it doesn't know the difference between the real life experience that's creating that emotion and the emotion that person is creating by thought alone. Important, the it doesn't know the difference between the real life experience that's creating that emotion and the emotion that person is creating by fall alone. The important, the body doesn't know the difference. And so what about the environment signals the gene that's epigenetics, the end product from an experience in the environment is an emotion. The person's signaling the same genes in the same way, and genes make proteins and proteins responsible for the structure and function of your body and the expression of proteins is the expression of life And now the person is actually headed for genetic destiny and when people labor For the present moment And they take their attention off of their body off of all the people in their life all of the objects

They own their cell phone their computer their car their house They're no longer identifying with where they're sitting where they they need to be, where they live, where they've lived in the past, where they need to go, and they're not thinking about the predictable future of the familiar past. They're dissociating from everything physical and material, everything known. That is the exact moment we call getting beyond yourself. Okay. Now, when we're in that place then, at the beginning, it's uncomfortable because survival is the unknown. You better chances of survival and running from the unknown,

but that unknown is the perfect place to create from. So in the process, no different than any rehab in our first two days of our event, really people are, they're basically rehabbing from their emotional states and their habits, and they're sitting in the presence of that discomfort, right? And the discomfort is because the body is leaving the known, but the body has been conditioned to be the mind. The moment you take it outside of its familiar territory It's gonna start telling you Ed. Why don't you quit? You know, you're not really good at this

You know, you're more of a physical person. You don't really want to do this You're not very this or very that and most people just get up when they do their meditation They believe that thought as if it's true now the question is what's on the other side of that thought? Can you sit there long enough till that's no longer the thought you accept believe in surrender to? Well then wow the next question Can you sit there long enough till that's no longer the thought you accept, believe in surrender to? Well then, wow, the next question. What's the next question? What is the other side of that familiar emotion?

Can I sit and work with my body and settle it down? Stay? You stay? I'm going to feed you. You're not going to die from this. Your bladder's not going to explode. You're not going to go crazy. And you work with catching those thoughts.

It's called meticognition. If you're in that 95% of programming where you're unconscious, then the first step to change is becoming conscious of your unconscious thoughts. So conscious that you would never go unconscious or let that thought slip by you unnoticed. I want to understand, so you're saying the awareness of the thought being conscious of the thought has it somehow lose its power over you? Exactly, exactly, because just because you have a thought doesn't mean it's true. And if you're left alone to yourself, you'll start believing every thought you think. And that's the problem.

This is The Edmila Show. You