THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Lori Harder - Chasing the REAL You

Episode Date: March 13, 2018

Self-love expert Lori Harder joins me for a profoundly powerful 30 minutes this week on #MaxOut with Ed Mylett!  Lori is a fitness superstar, millionaire, author and TedX speaker. She didn’t always feel like the rockstar we see today, however. She grew up in an extremely religious home in backwoods Michigan. As she came into adulthood, she began to realize she had not fully discovered or become her AUTHENTIC self. Like so many of us, she battled with fear of rejection and inadequacy but realized this was hindering her from finding BLISS in life.  A key belief of Lori’s is to find a TRIBE of people who love, inspire and support your growth. Listen now to tap into an important message of self-exploration and self-love we ALL need to hear.

Welcome to the Ed Milet Show. Welcome back to Max Out with Ed Milet and I have a wonderful lady here with me today. All you've been asking me recently, can we please have more female leaders in this space on the program? And I have found the perfect woman to fill that space here today. So I'm really fired up about this. This is going to be good. She's going to help an awful lot of you. This is Lori Harder, everybody.

Lori, thank you for being here. Thank you so much for having me. It's great to have you. And if you don't know, Lori is an unbelievable woman. She's a fitness expert. She's a speaker. She's an author. She calls herself, and I love this, a self-love coach.

And she's also got an unbelievable podcast of her own two that you should all be checking out which we will talk about today so thank you but it's my honor to have you on my podcast. I'm so excited to be here I could not wait to get back in your company because we got to have an awesome phone call. Didn't we? Yeah, such good energy. I know we are we connected our energy was great and her husband Chris is here too and he's got fabulous energy as well and so it's great to have you were both by the way at the time of this recording were at the 10x conference in Las Vegas and we're both speakers on the agenda here so

she's a really highly sought after speaker to be on this stage should be in front of 9000 plus people 10000 you're to do awesome and you warmed up the stage for me. It's warmed up and there's plenty of space to fill up to help people too because I don't know that I did that very well. So you're going to be doing it. So let's get into your story a little bit because it is unique, as you know. And so I think a lot of you will relate to this on some element of it, although there's a really unique aspect of it too. So I want to start. I always start out in the beginning because the finished product is this, the finished product is this beautiful sought after woman, one multiple fitness titles, seven

figure earner, millionaire, great marriage, you have all these things that are just flourishing in your life, right? But if we went all the way back, it wasn't exactly perfect growing up. So tell me a little bit about your upbringing, you were in a very religious upbringing as I know, we're not going to get into that religion or anything like that, but tell me a little bit about your upbringing so everyone can hear your story. So I was raised in a really small town called market Michigan so that is an upper Michigan most people don't even know there's an upper part to Michigan. It's all trees. A lot of trees and water and I was raised in a

restrictive, restrictive religion where you couldn't associate with people outside of the religion. We didn't celebrate holidays and we went door to door. That was what we did on a daily basis just to go and talk to people. And you didn't even associate school wise. You were homeschooled all the way through.

So I went to a public school in elementary and middle school and then high school I was homeschooled. So stayed at home. I actually ended up my mom ended up having my brother when I was 14. So I ended up being home schooled and watching him a lot while she was back at work with my dad because they had gone through a bankruptcy at the time as well. So there was a lot going on there too. But my whole family was struggling with their weight my entire life. I was always told just wait you're going to be heavy like your sister you're going to be heavy like your mom you're going to be heavy like the whole family

and if this constant this is coming for you this is coming for you. Well certainly didn't come. You all can tell from looking at this woman so say one thing on that though I want to stay on that and I talk we'll just go. But so there's this overweight issue in your family, which is also multiplied by the fact that you were telling me off camera that you couldn't really play organized sports as a child either. Right. Is that true? Tell them a little bit about that too. So because people, that's really amazing to do not have no organized sports. Well, we couldn't associate with anyone outside of the religion. So in that was meant to, it was meant to be a good thing to help keep you away from just

different distractions, and things like that. Exactly. But I always had this desire to be an athlete, to do sports, to be a performer, to do something on stage, to be a dancer. This was like a deep desire for me. So I entered into fitness because it took the form of just exercising. My whole family was overweight. And truly it was the first time like through all of this,

I had also gotten a lot of anxiety and just massive panic. Like I remember having my first panic attack at 13 years old. So what I would notice is when I would go work out, when I first started working out, I started to feel better. Like I started to feel happier because I also didn't feel happy all the time. I felt anxious, I felt depressed. Yeah. Were you at Los Alfa Steem as a kid?

Oh my gosh. So low. So incredibly low. And you know, it's hard because you're not doing the things to get confidence because in order to get confidence, you have to do things that make you feel confident. Yeah. So if you're not doing any of that, I'm constantly comparing myself like I'll never be able to do that because. So that was my story like I'll never be able to do that because.

So that was my story. I'll never be able to do that because I have this, I have anxiety, I have panic, I'm in this religion, I'm not allowed to do this. It was like this constant, this was on repeat in my head over and over. Well, I bet a lot of you, I know, can relate to that. Yeah. You can sense that, you know, you grew up with some reason, there was this reason why you can't do things And it's wired into you over and over again. Why'd you pick fitness by the way? Like was there something about fitness over other things that drew you to it? Did you see something did you experience something? Well, I could do it. I was allowed to do it

Okay, I was allowed to go to the gym by myself. Yeah, so that was a really big one and it made me feel better Every single time I would just get you know know, because of what it does emotionally, you get these beautiful hits of serotonin that you're like, whoa, and it was the first time that I would, so if I was out in nature, I was running, or I was biking, or doing anything, I would get this little glimpse of my future self. Whoa.

They ever had that when you're working out, and you're just like, pumped, you can see yourself, maybe you can see yourself on stage, you can see yourself in your dream, you can see yourself in that vision, and you're like, it feels like truth in your dream, you can see yourself in that vision, and you're like, it feels like truth in your body, you give yourself goosebumps, you're like,

that is truth. Oh, I love that word, the truth here. But this is why we connect, by the way, that truth in your body, like write that down, right? Because I have this thing, one of the main things that I speak on, and I spoke on yesterday, is that I'm constantly in pursuit of the person I was destined and born to be.

Yes. So you saying that, but I love that resonates with me, like this is truth. in pursuit of the person I was destined and born to be. Yes. Right? So, you saying that, but I love that resonates with me like this is truth. Like, I really love that. So, and obviously, you know, just moving your body changes you too. So, but you don't just like kind of work out. Like, you end up turning, which is just, I'm so proud of you and I didn't even know you then.

But like, you don't just turn that into like, I got fit. Like you kind of went Amazingly you become tell them a little bit about because the way Lori's notoriety started Your entrance into it was through fitness and so you start really late like you weren't you know some six-year-old Prodigy working out genetics aren't your favorite right? There's a lot of people in your family that are overweight so Which what happens fitness wise? You tell them a little bit about that Well, I was 26 when I started doing fitness competitions. And I'd wanted to do them, though,

since I was a teenager. And you can imagine it took me like that 10, 11 years to even build up the confidence to do that. And the whole reason for the fitness, and I'm just gonna be totally honest, I know that people can relate to this, was I thought that if I had this beautiful, strong exterior,

that everything on the inside must be right. So I worked so hard on that. I just built this armor and it really did turn out to be armor until I learned that I had to switch what was going on up here about my self belief because it didn't matter how fit I was. It was almost like the more fit I got, the further I was actually getting away

from what we really need to work on, which is our mindset, our soul, our self, our whole self worth and the idea around it. It was like, I was getting further away, the more fit I got, because the closer I got to what I thought was the goal, it wasn't feeling better. Wow. So.

I think it's so powerful because, I mean, you know, this Chris would say this too, is your husband's like, I think it's powerful for I mean, you know this Chris would say this too is your husband It's like I think it's powerful for someone who's in this beautiful exterior that you have for people to say well Her act wasn't totally together. I think people look at someone like you right and go she must have everything Why she must be so confident? She must think she's the you know what right and that wasn't happening So it's your exterior got more and more beautiful more and more attractive the inside wasn't getting any better that's powerful you're going to be coming though like a multiple time champion right like what did you end up achieving with your fitness tell them a little

bit about it so for it was six years total that I did competitions okay and it was the fifth year that I started what well, it was like year four and five that I started teaching it. Okay. So for me, when I was teaching just different stage presence and confidence to other people, and I had also opened a studio at the time. So I was really getting to work with a lot of different people.

I was really able to see that it didn't matter how much I worked someone out. It didn't matter how great their body was. If they did not come with this feeling of knowing their worth worth if they didn't know their why and what they were doing It was like I couldn't even see the beauty It wasn't coming through so as I was teaching it it was like I was learning it because in order to learn Teaching is like the best way to learn so teaching and just seeing this and feeling it and knowing that if I showed up in my full self it gave them permission to show up as their full selves because if I didn't embody

that they couldn't show up. But this whole time there's this interesting ducks position for me. So you're becoming more and more beautiful yet you're exposed like you do fitness shows. You're up there with nothing on right like they can see everything. And so but you're telling me, like, even this woman who everyone's going, wow, and you're winning world championships, right? You are up there insecure.

You're up there inside you going, I'm not worth this, I'm not worth it. Is that really happening? It's really happening. And it's really happening to people right now. It's really happening to people on this stage, right? It's really happening to people who are in this light. That's why I think it's so important that we say this is really happening to people right now. It's really happening to people on this stage, right? It's really happening to people who are in this light. That's why I think it's so important that we say this is really happening.

Is there so much inner work that you have to do? And you get, have to get away from the noise because it's very easy to lose yourself. So I would go to these competitions and beforehand they'd be like, oh, come downstairs or come to this thing. And I just couldn't be among everybody talking or comparing themselves to each other because I knew I had to go up and get really centered and focused on why I wanted to do this anyway. And the whole reason why I wanted to do this was

to help people feel better and transform themselves. So I also knew that I had to get in that place of like what energy do I want to give them? How do I want to feel on stage? Like I had to go back to the little girl who this was her dream. Like I had to literally grab her hand and be like, okay, we're safe, we can do this.

Like this is something that you've, you've wanted to do your entire life. Like you were born for this. Wow. So go out there and have fun and show, because I want to show people that it doesn't matter where they're from, that this is possible for them. Yeah, I think the craziest thing about your story,

because you are so good now, this is a person that's become an expert at working on the inside game, on someone's inside. People like you and I that get good at this. I think most people you didn't know, we had to get good at this. It was necessity to be a functioning human. I had such low self-esteem that when you see someone

with an exterior confidence like you and I have, we really come from a place of we needed it. Like I couldn't function with my normal thinking, the normal stuff that was wired into me. But it is sort of incredible that somebody who wins awards is one of the elite people in the world for the exterior ends up becoming an expert on the inside game with somebody. And I think it gives you a platform and a credibility

that had you not had that, maybe you wouldn't have. Like, it gave you your leading. Like, you think you want this? You think you want to be blonde and beautiful and ripped and fit? You think that's going to make you happy? Even having your dream man, you would marry by that time. Chris, right? You got a dream man.

You got a dream relationship. You got a dream body. But even then still, there's this little girl that needed to have this work done on her for her to really be happy, right? To feel worthy. And so let's talk about that for a second. I want to help some people now because your story's unreal. I mean, you end up coming from this sort of restrictive upbringing in a small place.

You end up getting on a world stage and fitness. You end up winning and dominating. Everybody wants to be you. And you say, well, I think this is what you really want. And so it's given you this platform and you've built this tremendous following. What is it that for you? What was the thing in you that you went,

I have to fix this, I have to, you talk a lot about bliss, which I love that term too. But for you yourself, what was it that was holding you back? Was it your, it was an insecurities? That what you would call it? Or you didn't feel safe, you've used that term a few times. what was it that was holding you back? Was it your insecurities? That what you would call it? Or you didn't feel safe? You've used that term a few times. What was it with you?

You know, I had anxiety. And still, it's every new level that I get to. It comes back with a vengeance because I'm a beginner again. So it's like, it's fear of rejection, not fitting in, not being smart enough. That's a huge one for me. Just because of the homeschooling background and you know hearing, I moved to Madison, Wisconsin when I was 18 and all I heard was education, you need this and you need that and I just thought, well, if I don't ever have that, but if that doesn't way of learning, doesn't

resonate for me, then how am I ever going to make it? So it's just these constant things on repeat. So it's always anxiety for me. It's always self-doubt. It's always, am I going to be able to help someone? And that's truly when I have to shift back in. And what I want to teach people is how to go back inward and know that your story is all that matters. Like your job, your only purpose on this planet,

is to number one, create purpose every day. And number two, get through your story and then show people how you did it. How do you do that? Give me a every day. And number two, get through your story and then show people how you did it. How do you do that? Give me a couple of ideas. How do you get through your story? Yeah, how do you start to work on that? How do you do that?

So I think that the main thing is really, oh, there's so many ways. Yeah, give me one. So I think that it's really important that we look at what we're not healing and what keeps on coming up. Because we're not really shining the flashlight on the dark corners, because I think we're not healing and what keeps on coming up. Because we're not really shining the flashlight on the dark corners because I think we're really afraid

because that means change is gonna have to happen. So now I like to take a massive flood light that this flood is. Yeah, you do, I can tell. Yeah, I can tell. Because it's really easy to fool ourselves and it's really easy to stay in tribes and hang around people who maybe are not serving our soul in our high-fabets. I love that. Stay on the tribe thing. Tell me a little bit

about that because you're hitting on one of your best things that I learned from you sitting over there too. Okay. What does that mean by staying tribes that don't serve us? What do you mean by that? What's that mean? Okay, so for me I talk a lot about tribes. I actually just wrote a book on tribes because growing up that was my only tribe. I wasn't allowed to have another tribe outside of that. So what happened is when I thought of doing anything outside of that, I thought there's no love outside here because there's no love outside the tribe that you have, right? Because you think if I get rejected from this, there's nothing. I'm going to be alone, it's going to be awful, I'm going to struggle, like there's going to be so much pain, right? That's what we think. So we're in tribes, we don't even know it.

Our family is a tribe, our job is a tribe, our social circle is a tribe, and there's an unspoken agreement in these tribes. It's like, we like you for how you are now. If you start changing, then you may get kicked out of this tribe. So if we don't start creating tribes as the person that we want to be, right? So we have to start going over here as our higher self and seeing who already has what

we want and getting into these tribes so that when these ones say, who do you think you are? What are you doing? Come back here like you can't do that. That this one, when you turn to it, says, get over here. This is where you're meant to be. Cross the bridge. Yeah, it's going to get shaky. Yeah, it's gonna get shaky. Yeah, that board is out and it's gonna totally hit you in the face as you're crossing. It's okay, keep going, you're gonna be fine. Oh my gosh.

Okay, that, since I've been doing the show, okay? That right there is one of my top things I've heard ever on the show, just so you know, because I've never pictured it that way. When you're talking about tribes. But tribes are, they their tribal in nature too. And so you're right, it's even when someone, there's a lot of people out there because you've been Christ have done this too.

Your family's this tribe or the people aren't. And then you join a tribe, like maybe a new business. And they see you with this new tribe of people. And immediately when you're a part of that new tribe, they begin to reject you and criticize you because they see you leaving their tribe. They people don't understand. You can be members of both tribes. All of them.

I think people that they're rude, I don't know if you feel this way too. When you start changing and growing, it's one that shines a light on them, it makes them uncomfortable. But I also think people are always afraid they're going to lose you. Yes. Like if you join that tribe, if you get better, if you grow, if you change, you're going to leave me. I really do feel like people, feel like I think that is so powerful.

You said you're writing a book about it. Tell them a little bit when it comes out and what it's called so that, and we'll tell them how to get a hold of you in a second, but what's the name of the book? What's it kind of about? I know tribes in the title somehow too. Yes. It's called a tribe called Bliss and it comes out May 8th and it's all of the conversations that come up around this too.

So it has scripts in it. So when your family says, you know, I'm just nervous that you're going to leave us or maybe they don't say it and it's unspoken, things that you can say to them. So it's all of the underlying things that happen when you go to form these other tribes and it's also how to form the tribe.

So it's literally scripts how to do it because we think of life as, you know, if you've got a new sales job, you'd have to learn how to talk to people and get to their why, right? And sell them on it. It's the same exact thing, except we don't understand that our relationships sometimes require a script to make our own until we know how to have

these conversations ourselves. Oh my gosh, that's really good. How do they get to book? You can go to Amazon, so LoriHarder.com, forward slash Amazon, and you can get the book there. OK, well, I love this. Like, I love that concept of tribe. Also, you know, one of my favorite words is bliss, too.

I love that. I love that. I'm asking for you. What does that mean? What's a blissful state for you? Like, what, what, in your case, when you say, I picture bliss, what do you picture? Like, what, what happens?

How you feel like yourself? You know, it's a complete, complete accepting all that is. Mm-hmm. Just accepting all that is. What's the word equanimity? Yeah. Just accepting all that is. What's the word equanimity? Yeah. I love that. Just you're just so fully you

and so fully connected to the divine and you're just there. I love you. I love you content. I love you content. So if I was someone watching this, so, and I wanna get, I wanna start to work on me.

I want to start to chase bliss, right? Mm-hmm. Well, it would be a couple of things you would tell me about myself. I think most people watch this, particularly maybe more women than men, but I know it's true of men. We just manifest it differently. We show it differently. But I do think that, I think insecurity is such a huge thing, even before the program

I was telling you, and we were just, it was incredible, we were telling it, people think, well, I'm really confident. They think, well, I probably never have bouts with that. That old me, even though I have a new identity, that old me can rear his head at any time, and begin that insecure guy, that shy person, that introverted person, you were saying the same was true for you too.

But you and I have created these other things. A lot of people watching this, they live in that identity still. They live in that insecure place, they live in that worried place, they live in that anxiety space. What are some of the things that you would share, especially women or men, but maybe women that they could be doing? Is it getting involved with a program, reading a book, meditation?

What are some of the things you would recommend to them? Okay, I have a couple things. So number one, in your day-to- day life, let joy be your compass. Because sometimes it's so easy to have that harsh coach come in and just do this and do that. And all of a sudden you're just, you've used up all your willpower on trying to change yourself that you're like, screw it, I'm going to throw in the towel. So let joy be your compass because I believe success follows joy. And because you have the energy, right?

If you don't, if you're not joyful, you can get in a low vibe, you're in low energy, you don't have energy to do anything. Number two, put yourself in places and with people who have what you have or who have what you want and who are vibing way higher than you. And I think that's so important because otherwise if you don't change your environment and you don't change the people in it, you don't change. And your environment is always stronger than your willpower, right? So you have to get in and they're gonna pull you up.

So for me, what I did is I just went to so many different events and coaches and different mentors and I wanted to be around these people, even though I did not feel like I fit in. I didn't feel like I was ready. I stayed in the fire because fire is transformation. It is burning that old you away. It is like so powerful.

So get in these rooms, stay in the fire. And just even just being in them, you're gonna notice that you get more use to it. Yeah. And you can come out a little more, maybe do little challenges. I would do it all the time and be like, okay, I'm gonna go meet that person

and just talk to them no matter how uncomfortable it is. Or I'm gonna go tell this other person about what I wanna do or what I visualize for myself and just be open. Wow. I've never heard that before that your environment is stronger than your willpower. That's powerful and it's true too, right? That's why changing tribes, I call it the power of association and you're talking about tribes too and you're talking about vibing at a higher level.

I always talk about their identities, the higher level they can heat your identity up to so I totally support that. I completely, completely agree with that too too and I'm watching you do it you're putting yourself in difficult situations like tomorrow you're speaking right given a low example about that what are you saying to yourself so tomorrow Laurie's Laurie has a lot of speaking she's an incredible speaker if you go to our website you'll see her TEDx speaks she's a great speaker but tomorrow is a larger room for you you got this right, right? But this is important because you and I have talked about that talk. And so you're going to take a step up tomorrow in your life.

You're never going to be the same after tomorrow, right? But you're reaching. And so there's people watching this who say, I'm starting a new business. I've entered a new relationship. I want to go achieve something. And it is a new level for me. I have anxiety about it. What are you doing to get yourself ready for tomorrow so that you know you're egging? I want to go achieve something and it is a new level for me. I have anxiety about it.

What are you doing to get yourself ready for tomorrow so that you know your egg and you're gonna slay tomorrow, which I told you you will? But what are you doing? Is it, you talk to your preparation that you're gonna get your confidence in? What are you doing tomorrow to make sure that step up? Because everyone here wants to step up.

What are you doing? What's your recipe? What's your form in the for tomorrow? Ed, I'm doing all the work. I'm doing all the things. I'm doing all the things. I have my tribe who I've all talked to, like all of my women who are like, you've got this. This is why you're doing this. Why are you doing this? Remember why you're doing this? I've had one of my women friends lead me through a meditation, so I've already been on stage.

I've already done the whole thing. I've done the preparation. I've done, I want to be around people who have already been on the stage who've had the energy that I want to carry out there. I want to be having these conversations. I want to be talking about why I'm doing this. I want to make sure that I am supporting myself. I'm so self-aware that that anxious girl can come back really easily.

So I'm praying. I'm meditating. I'm remembering that I'm so supported and that I was put on this earth for this reason and that You can't fail at something that you were born for that you had that little glimmer You know when you say you feel it you feel truth in your body. Yes. This was my truth I had an experience of being a speaker is my truth So if you've ever had you know where the hair raises on your arms over a vision That's your truth. So you can't go wrong with your truth. You're going to be

supported. Oh my gosh. I love this. It's so good. It's so good. So you're kitchen-sinking it, but the depth of what you just said is like, it's like, and by the way, it takes courage to chase the real you. It chases courage. It chases the authentic you. And I think one of the reasons you win, too, I feel it when we talk. I felt it when we talked on the phone too. It's like I just think you have an energy that's a giving energy. I think you have an energy that's a giving space. It's like I just, I think it would be very easy for someone like you to put on a facade. You could fake that you're confident. You could fake that everything's perfect. I

think it's your, and this is so powerful for all that everything's perfect. I think it's your, and this is so powerful for all of you to hear. I think it's your authenticity. So I'm rooting for you to do well. Like I want to help you. I think this whole strategy and life of fake it to you make it is the worst. Because what it does is it makes you inauthentic,

it makes you incongruent, and people can't root for you. You know there's nothing wrong by going, you have a sales call or me by saying, I'm a little nervous about today. You know I'm a little nervous, I'm a little concerned, I'm here root for you. You know there's nothing wrong by going, you have a sales call or me by saying, I'm a little nervous about today. You know I'm a little nervous, I'm a little concerned, I'm here to help you, I wanna do my best for you, but I am anxiety about,

you know what happens, the person listening to you, they now root for you. They're skepticism level drops. You don't have to be perfect. Your speech tomorrow, you're gonna stutter once. It's awesome when you do it because they're gonna sense your energy, they're gonna sense your intent. It's awesome when you do it. Because they're gonna sense your energy, they're gonna sense your intent.

And so I just wanna acknowledge that in you. And what you just said, I really do this. That would, I would rewind that last minute and a half when she gave you that recipe. Because you said it, it wasn't something written down. You just said what it is. It was very, very powerful. I'm also curious about Chris, by the way.

Who's here? Yeah. Well, and what I mean by that is, I could tell when we talk the first time too. So people here want great relationships, right? You two have a great relationship. I guess tell by the way you interact with each other. He loves you. Oh yeah. You love him. You're gonna be starting a family and by the way I know that when we're not around that the two of you every once in a while have a fight. Oh for sure. That's part of a relationship. You laugh at it over there, right?

Any relationship advice you give people? Like what makes this work between the two of you? What would you say a few of the things are that make it work with you and him? We've pinpointed quite a few things because we've asked ourselves this question, like why are we able to make this work? We have conversations every day about just having

really good communication and we walk every single day. I swear to you, our walks, we can start out on the walk because we work together too. And when we're in work mode, we're two people working together. Sometimes we're two ships passing the night, but for the most part, it's like we have to learn the language of working together. That's a totally different language of being a couple as well. So when he retired from being in the mortgage industry and came home to like my soul work, it was like he was speaking mortgage and finance like this type of language up against like my soulful language. And we, I mean, I was like, I made a mistake. I married like a total A-hole.

Ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. And he was so frustrated. He was like, what's this airy fairy? Like, we're never gonna make money. You're right, so he's driving making money. You're like, no, let's just meditate. And I'm gonna let's meditate.

I'm sure everyone in the room. And he was like, it was awful. It was actually quite terrible. I'm sure. So we would have to say things like, OK, well, how do you need to be spoken to about this if I need to know that we're going to reach these numbers? And I'm like, well, this is how it translates for me.

So if you could use this tone, or you can say this, but you're going to have to say it a bit softer to me. So we still have this conversation, because we have Monday meetings every Monday. And little flare ups happen every single Monday. So we have this conversation. If you would have said it this way, I would have taken it a lot better. And he's the same way, like, you can't say that to me because this is what happens for

me, because I'm caught. And then at the end of the night, I'm trying to get back into a little bit more of my feminine side. And I have to switch gears, so we need to go for a walk. And sometimes the first 30 minutes, we won't even talk, because we're both really frustrated with each other. then like I'll probably say something like you're gonna just not talk to me the whole time and then he's like do you want to talk? I'm like yeah yeah yeah well I think see I

think the power of it is by way relate to all that but I think the power of that is that you have some rituals that serve you yes so whether that's like the two of you meet and have a glass of wine every night or you take a I happen to think moving your body and walking changes your state So I think it's a huge element of it But I also want to tell people it's like I think it's just important and every area of your life to have rituals that serve you right So in some shirts they have family home evening prayer or whatever But you should be doing something as a couple that is ritualized that you know you're doing that you can depend on

That gives you comfort and security. It's almost like a space you go to that you know that works right and I think that's one of the powers of what the two of you have. So you can tell from listening to Laurie by the way that whether it be like transforming your body, transforming your mindset, your soul, transforming your relationships. This is a woman who can help you in all these things right and so I was so I we met we talked through a mutual friend Louis H a mutual friend of ours, you work with Lewis, I love him. He just raved about you. Then I went and looked at your content. I looked at, I mean, her and Chris have built a seven figure income, right? They're, they're millionaires and

you wouldn't know it. And, but I mean, by, you wouldn't know it as you're just humble and good people and giving people and it seems like you just want to serve. So I want to help you help serve people. And so how do they find you when just want to serve. So I want to help you help serve people. And so how do they find you when they want to go get help? And tell them a little bit about how you could help them too. Anybody listed. Thank you for all of that. Sure.

So you can find me at LoriHarder.com, which is my website. But I also love podcasting. That's why I love it. It's like such a good excuse to talk to great people and get information out there. So I think podcasting is a beautiful way to learn. So that's earnyourhappy.com. Yeah, website earn your happy in the book. The book is really where I've thrown my entire life story and how I want to help women and people in general just connect.

Are there all that side of you curious because the book's not out till May and this will come out before that. So is there like an email list they can subscribe to on your website? We can preorder actually. We can preorder at LoriHunter.com forward slash Amazon. Cool. That's awesome. Last thing I want to talk to the women. Yes.

Because more women were excited to know you were coming when I promoted it. Just curious is there anything unique to women that you want to tell them? It's practically women in business. Okay, so for women is there something they should be working on thinking? Is there anything unique? Is there an issue that I don't know as a dude most women navigate? This is a hard question, but is there something that if you say, hey ladies, let me give you some advice.

There's a seven figure earning woman who's also got a great relationship who is always having to work under insecurities just like you guys are. This is what I would tell you ladies. What would you say to any of them? You know, I just got what came to me immediately was just even as humans, but especially as women. We're so intuitive. I think we always know what we're supposed to do and where we're supposed to go.

And the only time that we get anxious and we don't go that way and the reason why we're not making seven figures or why we're not getting what we want is because we are comparing ourselves or thinking it needs to look a certain way or we need to go do something else. But if we would get quiet more and if we would support ourselves more, we know exactly where to go, we know exactly what to do. And it's usually going to seem so counterintuitive to what you're thinking. But if you follow that truth, that is going to bring you all of those things. It's going to look different, but it's going to be in that same energy of that,

just that it's that guide. So that's, it's different, right? It's a totally different approach. I just watched you just so you know, get into a really strong state right there. Like you knew what you were saying was right and I think the reason is you trusted your intuition to say that. I almost felt like not saying it. Wow, that's so glad you trusted your intuition right. I'm so glad that you did. I love our conversation. Me too. I can't believe we're not like what the heck that flew by right. Like that was unbelievable. We're going to do more of this. You and I are going to work together too as we've talked about

I think both you and Chris. I think just beautiful souls. Oh, thank you. I just think you're just living richly I think you're just giving I think your energy is just incredible You're gonna crush your talk tomorrow and I want to just thank you. I really do this was such a one-click You got me you got me ready for my talk. You're gonna crush. Thank you. You got me into the energy of it You're so amazing. So everybody obviously I want you to go to Laurie's website and obviously interact with her as well. There's some programs there too that she's rolling out that I think you can get involved with.

And then on my end, I'm just grateful that you were here today. And the only thing I don't always tell you, always do this. We do this for free. I bring you some of the most beautiful, smart, intelligent, giving people in the world just like Laurie. I just ask for you that you review the podcast and whatever platform you're watching it on. So it moves up the rankings,

because one of the powerful things about it is more people around the world get access to it, particularly for me and my heart in third world countries. As this moves up, they get access to this beautiful information, beautiful souls like Laurie. So please give it a review. Max out, everybody. God bless you. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪