THE ED MYLETT SHOW - My #1 Key to Happiness

Episode Date: June 4, 2019

Comparison is the thief of happiness! Comparison and happiness cannot coexist! We are all guilty of comparing our lives to the lives of others. We compare how much financial success, family, status, joy we have compared to others…  But there is ANOTHER type of comparison that is INSIDIOUS and robbing you of your happiness. This comparison is when we compare our current life to the life we had in the past! If you want to have an unhappy relationship, let me tell you how to have it......Compare it to your previous relationship! If you want to be unhappy with your fitness, compare your current body at 45 to your body when you were fit at 18! This type of COMPARISON, when you compare your current state to a previous state, is the #1 thing holding you BACK from experiencing happiness! It is actually the PATHWAY to UNhappiness! If you can remove yourself from comparing your life, your experiences, your health, your finances, your relationships, your business to a previous time in your life, you will unlock the door to experience an abundance of HAPPINESS! In this episode, I'm teaching you the practical steps on how to STOP the comparison game and START using comparison as a WEAPON to achieve! When used properly, comparison can be FUEL to your FIRE! It can be the catalyst that propels you into the next best version of yourself! RIGHT NOW learn how to achieve MORE HAPPINESS and to use comparison as a weapon for change!  

This is the Edmire Show. Welcome back to Max out everybody. I'm Ed Mylett and today's program I think is going to go a long way to help you find more happiness and more leverage to go become successful simultaneously. So we're gonna talk today about comparison and how it affects our happiness level and how it can affect our drive level. Comparison in every area of our life

can either be used as a weapon to create complete unhappiness in our life or it can be utilized as a catalyst to help us succeed at the highest of levels. I want you to remember something. Comparison is the pathway to unhappiness. I'm telling you that in every area of your life where you find unhappiness, you will find comparison.

In fact, the antithesis to that is also true. When there is no comparison, you cannot create unhappiness in your life. That's a pretty bold and powerful statement, but it's true. We only feel unhappy in our lives when we compare something to maybe something in our life that was a different time.

Maybe perhaps when we were wealthier or in a different relationship or we were healthier in some level. Comparing our current conditions to previous ones, that comparison is what creates the unhappiness. It's actually not the condition itself. Or perhaps you're in a relationship where you compare it to a previous relationship you had and how they treated or how you felt at that time. Perhaps you compare this time in your life just to a simply a different time, and that

comparison will always create unhappiness in your life. If you can remove yourself from comparing both yourself to a previous time in your life, a previous condition, a previous situation, or even comparing yourself to other people in your life. This is a recipe and a formula for unhappiness. Every single time in your life where you're experiencing unhappiness, you are doing a comparison to something. It's the contradiction between your current situation, current relationship, current body, current finances, current anything, and something exterior, either a previous time in your

life, a previous person in your life, or you comparing yours to someone else's. It is an insidious disease that so many people in society suffer from today, particularly because of the advent of social media. We watch someone's video of what they're doing on a Friday night, and it's not what they're doing that makes us unhappy. It's comparing what they're doing to what we're doing that makes us unhappy. It's comparing what they're doing to what we're doing that makes us unhappy. It's seeing people laughing and jovial or jet setting or it's seeming to be having a great time compared to what we're doing and that creates unhappyness.

It's not the success of people you know that's making you unhappy. It's your comparing your situation to the success they're having that creates unhappiness in your life. So for those of you that are struggling and saying, you know, one of the things I suffer from is I'm just not very happy very often. I can tell you that that presence of unhappiness, you will always link to a comparison of some sort, either in your own life or in other people's lives.

And just being aware of that fact and stopping the comparison, embracing this moment, embracing this time, knowing that you can't go back to that previous time, knowing that you can't be in somebody else's life. You're not going to have that other body right now. And so if you're looking to be happier, I can promise you, the number one key that I would give you is to stop the comparison game. You'd say, well, that's not completely true.

I mean, what if someone passes away? That makes me unhappy. There's the comparison game. You say, well, that's not completely true. I mean, what if someone passes away? That makes me unhappy. There's no comparison there. Let's take the most extreme example. Or when someone's sick in my family, you know, someone in my family's got a really bad illness. That makes me unhappy. That's not a comparison.

In fact, it is. The fact of the matter is that when someone gets sick in your family, your pass is away. What you do in your mind is you compare it to when they were healthy. So that comparison of, I wish they were healthier again, that is a comparison between the previous situation and the current condition. If someone passes away, it's comparing the time that you had them. That's why people say if I could just have one more moment with them.

If I could just have another conversation, it's comparing it to when you had the moment. It's comparing it to when you had the moment, it's comparing it to when you had the conversation. And so those are extreme examples, but we reduce it all the way down to anything right now in your life that you say it brings me unhappiness. There's no joy there. There's a comparison happening that's not serving you. It's so important to take a look at it because I really believe most people think and I've covered this before from a different angle, that if I can just change my exterior circumstances, I will be happier. And that's because they're comparing

their current circumstances to someone else. That'd be like somebody sitting in their home who's unhappy in their current home. And saying, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna rearrange the house and then I'll be happier. And so they rearrange the exterior furniture, the exterior conditions of the house, and then when they sit back down, they're still unhappy.

So they go, okay, well, I'll do as I'll rearrange the exterior of the house again, or the interior, but they fix it again, and they're still unhappy. The reason that's so important is when you accept the fact that it's not the external conditions of your life that create happiness. What creates happiness in our life is realizing that we are not our possessions. We are not our titles.

We are not our recognition. We are not our accolades. We are not our popularity. That we're perfect as we are. We're perfect as we are. That we begin to accept ourselves and love ourselves as we are, is when we find true happiness. But comparing yourself to another time where maybe you had more recognition, you had a better title, you had more influence, will always lead you to a pathway of unhappiness.

Now, I'm not talking about self love in the sense that you just accept everything in your life and you sit around. What I'm suggesting to you is happiness and success are often two different things. Happiness comes from acceptance. Happiness comes from surrender and loving ourselves as we are. Because if we're think we're just going to rearrange the furniture and then we're happier, we still live in the house that is us. We are still housed our souls, our hearts and our minds are still housed in the same home,

which is our body. And if we can't begin to love it without the comparison of some change, we're never going to love it. We will always be trying to exchange the furniture of our life. We'll always be trying to change the exterior. So many of you achievers are listening this right now and you're nodding and you're saying, my gosh, that's why I'm never happy. I'm always thinking if I could just exchange the furniture, if I could just change the external conditions, then I'll be happy, then I'll be happy, then I'll be happy. I'm always thinking if I could just exchange the furniture, if I could just change the external conditions, then I'll be happy, then I'll be happy, then I'll be happy.

And every time you switch the furniture, every time you change the conditions of your life, you find yourself very short term finding happiness. And then right back to the unhappy state, that's because you keep comparing your situation to someone else's. No matter how good yours is, you have to compare it to someone else. Someone else's recognition, someone else's wealth, someone else's supposed happiness, someone else's relationship, someone else's body, someone else's confidence. And that comparison is flooding you with unhappiness, no matter how good or how bad the external conditions of our lives are. Now having said that, we've now found a formula heavenly that we know when we

compare to something, it creates unhappiness in us. This is a key to success now. So we know to find happiness in our lives. We have to stop comparing. However, when there's an area we know we must change. Stay with me here. When there's an area we know we must change. Now we use comparison as a weapon to our advantage because most people are motivated by avoiding pain, right? That's their motivation to avoid unhappiness. And so I use comparison as a weapon, as a catalyst to get leverage on myself to change. So I'm very conscious when I'm feeling unhappiness in an area that

I'm not conscious of changing to not do comparison. But when it's an area I must change, I do use comparison as my own weapon to get leverage because the gateway to get people saving all the time, how do I get leverage? How do I get drive? How do I get that voiding pain thing? Comparison. Comparison. So it's a two-edged sword. We use it against ourselves too often in our life that gives us misery and unhappiness and takes our bliss away. And not enough of us leverage the power of unhappiness

using comparison to our advantage. For a perfect example, right now I'm not in the physical shape that I want to be. I am comparing myself to the previous fit version of me. And this discomfort, this dislike, this pain, this unhappiness that I'm flooding myself with by using the weapon of comparison in my advantage is a catalyst to get me going forward.

I shared a story on social media the other day, I was at the gym and I was working out and already not feeling great about how I've looked. I've had enough people comment, man, that you're looking, when you're a fit person or if you're a male and you're kind of a bodybuilder, whatever, but you have muscle on your body, when people see you, they haven't seen you for a long time,

they'll say things like, hey, you're looking pretty lean. Look like you're slimming down. That's not what you want to say to someone who's sort of muscular, right? And that's usually code for, you don't look as good. You're shrinking, right? And so I've been here and that lately for people I had a good friend of mine hugged me the other day

and he's like, wow, I can get my arms all the way around. You're back, you used to have these huge lats. Couldn't even get my arms around. Your arms were so big too. Like, wow. So I'm working out at the gym and a young man's behind me and I hear him say, hey, hey. And I finally lift my earphones off and he says,

Mr. Mylett, would you please get out of the way so I can look at myself in the mirror when I'm working out? I'm not kidding you. And I looked back at him and I went, are you crazy? I wouldn't even give you the words that I really sent to him, right? And I just will leave it at that. So he let I let him know that that wasn't an appropriate thing to say to me. But what I did is I used it as leverage when I left there. I'm like, my gosh, two years ago, no one would want me to get out of the way. No one would talk to me like that. But right now I look so average or bad.

He's like, get out of the way so I can look at somebody who's really jacked up and fit, right? And I'm leveraging that comparison to what I used to look like to my advantage that's causing me to eat cleaner. I'm telling you, since that's happened, every meal that's been put in front of me, I think about in slow motion. I could see the slow motion. Him telling me to get out of the way and me

feeling like the most out of shape, not fit human being on earth. And what I was doing was comparing myself to the two year old go version of me when I was much bigger. And that comparison is giving me leverage, okay? And so I will use leverage to get me to do things. I will let people see, a lot of people say that would knock a lot of people down, but that's not what it did to me. It gave me fuel to my fire. The winners use fuel to their fire.

They'll use comparison as a weapon. When I see people succeeding in different areas, I don't use the comparison of them doing it to great unhappiness with me. I will use it tactically in specific situations to cause me to want to move away from how I feel about that comparison. Either on my previous body, my previous wealth, my previous energy, my previous influence, Mike, my cameraman, and I were just talking today outside. And I said to him, you know, I used to be better speaker

than I am now. And I said, man, if you, I used to be better speaker than I am now. And I said, man, if you'd have seen me years ago, you'd have seen the energy I brought, how dynamic I was, how articulate I was compared to this version of me now. And the reason I'm doing that is I want to get better as a speaker. I'm using that comparison. It makes, it gives me pain and unhappiness to think about the kind of communicator I am now compared to how I viewed the previous situation. So I compared it to give me leverage to improve, to make it a catalyst to change. I understand when to use comparison and when not to.

When I want to create a situation of change, I will leverage comparison to my advantage. When I want to create a situation of bliss and happiness and I'm feeling unhappy in an area, I just always evaluate what I'm comparing at that time and I remove the comparison and it creates a happy situation Remember this when there's no comparison. There's always happiness Where there is no comparison Unhappiness cannot exist Comparison and unhappiness only coexist together and so I will only leverage this very dangerous thing called comparison when it's an area I must change in my life to get leverage. For those

of you that want to create change, it's okay to leverage it from time to time, but when you become addicted to the mechanism of comparison to get you going, to competing to get you going all the time, when you're always competing against others, always comparing with others. People say, well, there's a difference between competing and comparing truthfully, not much. And the fact of the matter is to compete against somebody you are typically comparing where you are to them. It's not necessarily a bad thing. But when you leverage that mechanism over and over, it's a pathway to unhappiness. When a woman goes out in the evening and she's feeling great about how she looks that evening,

and she walks in and she immediately compares herself to the other people in the room. She will inevitably find a woman that she thinks is more attractive than her, and it steals your unhappiness for the entire evening. Men, same thing. Where, you know, maybe you've had some financial success and you're proud and you've gone out and you're whatever, your new car or your new, maybe you've had some financial success and you're proud and you've gone out and you're Whatever your new car or your new suit or you've got a new watch on or whatever's you're just feeling good about yourself And then immediately when you go out you begin to compare yourself to other men or other people and what it will do

Is immediately steal all your joy or if you're a couple and you're having a beautiful date night and you happen to observe, you're comparing to other couples in the restaurant, for example, and there's just some couple who's more affectionate or holding hands differently or he opened the door for her and you immediately steal your joy and create unhappiness for the evening. When you compare the treatment of your partner and the relationship to how your girlfriend's husband or boyfriend treats them or if you're a male in a relationship and you compare it to how One of your friends wives or girlfriends treats them. You've immediately created a formula for unhappiness There you will never win the comparison game if your outcome is happiness

You will win the comparison game if your outcome is change or pain avoidance So you got to get clear what your outcomes are. There's areas of your life where comparison should never exist. And in most times that's your relationships with other people, don't compare to a previous time in your relationship because it'll create unhappiness, don't compare to other relationships or other people. So I understand in my life where to use this weapon and where to put it down. And if you want to create more bliss, if you want to create more connection in your life,

you need to learn to put the weapon, the very dangerous weapon, the very insidious weapon of comparison down most of the time. And only pick it up where you want massive change. And the truth of the matter is, there's probably one or two areas of your life at any given time that you're really working on changing. And you can harness the

power of the comparative relationship to your advantage there. But what vast majority of us do, and I know this from my own experiences, we're always in comparison mode. We're comparing our home, our relationship, our fitness, our happiness, our strength, our energy, our looks, our brains, our accolades, our achievements to other people all the time, and we wonder why we live unhappy almost all of the time. It's because you're always comparing. You lose that every single time. You think, well, no, sometimes I compare it.

I'm ahead. That's not how your brain works. Your brain's eventually looking for the person that you lose to. Your brain is eventually going to find the better looking, funnier, wealthier, fitter, happier, better relationship having person to wire you for pain. It's a part of our brain that was wired all the way back for survival mode in order to keep us functioning. The reason that this is so important is we both have two parts of ourselves.

We have a higher self than what I'd call a lower self. And it's okay to live in both those places, but most happy people live in their higher self-state, the vast majority of the time. The higher self state is very inward. They're focused on themselves. They're focused on creating bliss and happiness. And the only thing that they ever focus on outside of there is their spirituality, the universe, their God, their connection with something bigger than them.

Our lower self is always external. But we need to have that lower self because that lower self is that catalyst that gets us to move, that lower self does compete, that lower self does compare. It's a matter of having a life of both of success and fulfillment. Happiness and achievement. Happiness is achieved in the higher self by not comparing and not going external, not thinking the external furniture or life

or external people or comparing outside of ourselves or comparing to a different time outside of ourselves. That person right there that doesn't do that, they end up living very happily. The person who achieves leverages the lower self by competing and comparing when needed. And remember this also, the more we begin to learn about ourselves is always a win.

The more we have a breakthrough in a discovery, there's probably some things I've said today that have made you think. There's probably some things you're evaluating and seeing in yourself that maybe you were blind to before, and just that discovery is a win. The more we begin to evaluate and discover what our thoughts really are,

what our behaviors seem to be, our habits and our patterns, the more we become self-aware, the more we have the capacity to live as the higher self, and the more powerful it is when we leverage the lower self and we leverage comparison. And so don't beat yourself up over what I've covered today. Self-awareness and self-discovery is what life's all about, and it's a win even if you discover something about yourself you're not proud of. Even if you discover something about yourself that you wish didn't exist or that you wanted to change, that's discovery. That awareness is 80% of the step to changing it. And so give yourself some credit today for being aware, for being honest. Oftentimes when content like

this is covered, people sort of like to check the box of who they'd like to be and that it doesn't apply, as opposed to who they really are. The truth is everybody listening to this and the man speaking this to you is too often in the lower self, too often creating unhappiness in our lives, including me by comparison to previous times, other people, other conditions in our lives. And so today my challenge to you is to live as the higher self, to create more happiness with less comparison, to only leverage it when needed, but leverage it to achieve, but to find happiness will always found in the higher self where we're not looking outside.

You can probably tell by the way I've delivered this to you today that it's something that I'm working on myself. Self-awareness, self-discovery, self-improvement, and achievement are an ongoing process that never ends as we try to max out our lives. It's not something we figure out and now we've got it. There's always another level of awareness, of discovery, of performance that we can find in our lives. And if today helps you do that just a little bit,

an extra discovery, a little bit more awareness, maybe something you would teach to someone else. If it was just a little bit of a breakthrough, then today was progress, and it was for me just to be covering it. So I hope that today gave you value. I want to remind you every day, I want to create more value for you too.

I run the max out two minute drill every day on Instagram, I've been doing it for a long time. It's sort of become famous on social media, and the way that it works is you turn your notifications on both stories and main posts on Instagram. And when I make a post in my main feed on Instagram, if you make a comment within the first two minutes, we usually extend it to five minutes, you get a chance to win. There's three ways to win.

One, make a comment in the first two to five minutes when I make a main post. I always post between 7.30 and 8 a.m. Pacific time, which is 10.30 and 11 a.m. Eastern time. Usually that's when I post. So just make a comment in the first two to five minutes or two, or in addition to make comments to other people's comments, because I want to encourage collaboration and connection

in the max out community and universe. So I'm gonna reward people who do that. And third, if you miss the first two minutes, just make a comment every day on every post, no matter what time it is. You could do it at eight hours after, 10 hours after, two hours after. And we add up at the end of the week,

people just comment it every day, and we pick a winner from there as well. So there's three ways to win. You can win coaching calls with me. My guess, we have one coming up on two weeks where people are riding on my jet with me that we selected to get coached with me and spend some time, copies of my book,

max out gear. Every week we decide what winners get that are new and different. And us, tickets to see me speak, et cetera. So I encourage you to engage with me in the max out two-minute drill. I just want to say thank you and God bless you and your family and continue to max out. This is the end of my show.

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