THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Navigate the Storms of Life & Success with Dean Graziosi

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

Click the link below to grab your Free Ticket To Tony & Dean's "The Game Has Changed Virtual Live Event" 👉 http://deanandtonylive.com/ed Learn the science of achievement and master the art of fulfillment in this power-packed episode with my good friend, Dean Graziosi! We're exploring why so many struggle to find fulfillment amidst the hustle and bustle of our fast-paced world AND revealing practical strategies that you can begin implementing in your life starting today to turn it all around including: Understanding the evolving nature of the American Dream and how to adapt your aspirations to today's world Discover the critical role of purpose in achieving lasting fulfillment and how to identify what truly drives you. Strategies to get unstuck, start moving, and keep pushing forward, regardless of the obstacles. Embracing failure as an invaluable teacher and a stepping stone to greater success. Insights into handling the challenges posed by both the short-term and long-term economic climate. Uncover common characteristics shared by those who achieve uncommon success. Dean and I are here to push you beyond your limits, to help you find your true calling, and to start living a life filled with joy and peace. This episode is your guide to transforming your life into one of profound achievement and deep fulfillment. Dive in and make the shift that could change everything! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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This is The Ed Myron Show. All right, everybody, welcome back to the show. Today is very easy for me. It's a joy because I get a chance to share one of my best friends, brilliant mind and incredible heart with you guys. He's been on the show multiple times and you guys know I'm pretty judicious about who I have on the show more than one time. And so when someone repeats that makes me know and you should know that there's somebody that I

just believe makes a huge impact in the world. And so my dear friend that's here today is the co-founder of mastermind.com along with his partner and friend and my friend Tony Robbins. And he's here to talk today about changing your life but also an event they have called the Game Has Changed live event. It's a live event, it's called the Game Has Changed. It's June 13th through 15th of 2024 coming up. And if you're interested in the event, which you should be, just go to DeanAndTonyLive.com slash Ed. DeanAndTonyLive.com slash Ed. And that means Dean Graciosi must be here today. So Dean, welcome to the show, brother.

It's always so good to be here with you. And this is how we get to catch up. I know we're both busy, so we get to catch up on a podcast every two years. It's fantastic. It's just crazy that when you're, you feel so close to somebody that you very rarely get to see because we've both been just sort of in these seasons of running in our careers. So, and by the way, that leads me to kind of my first question. to see because we've both been just sort of in these seasons of running in our careers. And by the way, that leads me to kind of my first question. We're gonna talk about the event quite a bit. And by the way, guys, you get a chance to have an event with Dean and Tony, which by the way, I know they're not gonna do a lot more of these. Take advantage of it. We'll talk about the event as we go forward, but these are, if you'd have told

me growing up, I could get access to Dean Graziosi or Tony Robbins and just sign up and I'm there. I'd be like, are you kidding me? I mean, it'd be something, be an automatic no brainer. And the reason is, Dean, is my first question. You know, Tony talks a lot about sort of the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. And when I look at you, I look at someone who over the years has gotten a lot better at the art form of fulfillment and So many things about social media right now are hustle and grind culture

Which you and I know two people hustle and grind more than you and I But I'm not so sure so sure that they're I mean, I think there's a lot of success happening But I don't know how much fulfillment is happening in people's lives And so if I open up with a question to be what would you say to somebody who feels like They're maybe having some success, but they're not fulfilled What a great question and kind of why we're leaning down the the road of the game has changed because I think it really has because you know success without Fulfillment is probably the biggest failure of them all right?

I see you know you and I do have a lot of history and we have a lot of similar backgrounds. My dad's still alive at 87 years old. And I watched my dad chase a lot of things in his life. And at 87, I watch him, he's really sad, deep down. And I give him love on a regular basis and take care of him. But he's sad because he chased success, even though it didn't really come to him, but he missed out on fulfillment.

He missed out on being connected. My sister and him haven't talked in 20 years. He didn't talk to his brothers and sisters. Now I'm not trying to get on a personal note, but I get to witness with a man who's at 87, who's one of the smartest people I've ever met, my dad. And I watch when he talks to me and he looks in my Eyes, and he'll tell me he loves me now

He never told me as a kid, you know old-school tough Italian guy from the East Coast But he tells me now and his eyes fill up with water and a hundred times a hundred percent of the times him And I talk now we're together, you know least every week and I just watched a life without fulfillment And I get to be Tony Robbins' partner. I get to do this for a living. And I get so many, I see so many people chasing success. And one of the things I want to share is, when you're chasing success, especially through a career and a career mindset,

we're never taught the art of fulfillment. We're never taught that we could find something with purpose. We're never taught that we could be passionate about what we do. We're taught to balance work and play, work and life, right? We're supposed to say, shut it off at 5 o'clock. How does that work, Ed? Do you walk in the door at 5.30 and go, OK, honey, I'm leaving at the door?

No. And the only reason we're taught that is because most of the time, we're taught to do something we really don't love in a career we really don't like. And then we're taught to shut because most of the time we're taught to do something we really don't love in a career we really don't like. And then we're taught to shut it off and be somebody different at home and maybe watch football on a Sunday and have a couple scotches every night to just numb it rather than work life integration. I think COVID had a big shot in the arm of this is people were realizing, hey, I'm doing

okay financially, but I don't like my life. I'm not happy. I'm not fulfilled. I'm not fulfilled. I'm looking around corners. I see somebody at dinner and they're smiling. I think they got a better life than me because inside I'm miserable. And I think that's one of the things you do so well, Ed.

And I loved listening to every word of your last book. I mean, cause I know you so well, like I said, but helping people realize when you can find that balance of a career or a business and working on the best version of you, that's where life is. And I think that's why Tony and I have been, you know, screaming from mountaintops is this is the time, because we don't get a second chance.

And maybe it's because I'm in my fifties, mid fifties, that and Tony's in his mid sixties. It's like, we just want to shake people and say, don't settle, you can have both you know what the the thing about what you've been doing to which is really teaching people how to take their knowledge and and Express it and they can monetize it but they can also serve people when they do it and One of the pathways to fulfillment for me and you can talk about the event as you answer this question But I'd like you to answer the question directly too is that I think if you're not feeling

fulfilled perhaps it's that you're not really becoming the fullest expression of yourself or the expression of yourself that you want to be. And I think so many people, maybe they've got a little bit of money, maybe they don't even have it. They think, well, if I get the money, I'll feel fulfilled or if I get the relationship, I'll feel fulfilled, or if I get the relationship, I'll feel fulfilled. What I've found is I've gotten older. If I look back at my last 30 years, different things make me happy. But one of them that almost always delivers fulfillment for me is when I feel that I'm expressing the versions of myself that are the most beautiful, that are the

most proud, that are the most giving, that are the most proud, that are the most giving, that are the most generous. And even the parts of me that I'm the most afraid to express, I find bring me the most fulfillment in my life. And I wonder if that lack of fulfillment is correlated to a lack of expression of who somebody truly is, what they know, what they feel, what they believe, what they value, what they stand for. What do you think?

Such, it's such a good way to frame it. I think, I think you're spot on. You know, I want to ask you something. The American dream. Do you think I brought that up? We had a team meeting and everybody under 35, we had a meeting with about 12 of us. So I want to ask your opinion on this. I brought up the American dream.

I just brought it up. I said, do you think it still exists? Is it still alive? And what does it mean? And I have to say, the people on the team under 35 is like, oh, no, you know, I don't know if the American dream, that might be controversial. And people over 50 are like, yeah, that

is the thing our parents and grandparents came to this country for or worked hard for. I had never seen something so, you know, opposite. And by the younger kids on my team, I say younger kids that are 35. They're like, I don't think you should bring that up. I was like, wow, is that what we are as a society that we can't talk about the American dream? Because my definition, I'd love to know yours, Ed.

My thought of the American dream, wherever you live in the world, is living into your full potential. Like knowing you're meant for more, right? But actually doing something in your power to achieve it, right? And I think, I don't know how that could have gotten a bad name. Maybe I'm blind or naive to it. But I think what you're saying is like a life lived without tapping into that full potential you have, or at least trying, I think is the saddest life ever. And to me, it just looks like, Hey, fight for it. Do whatever it takes. You want to call it the American dream.

You want to say you're living into your full potential, whatever it takes. I just know if you leave, um, if you leave gas in the tank at the end of your life, right? I love, I think I watched you say one time if you had a cell phone at the end of your life and God played you a video of the man you could have been or the woman you could have been, won't that be the most horrific thing on the planet? And yeah, I do think that's sad. I got to tell you the version of the American dream for me, to me, it means freedom. And that's freedom to express yourself, be yourself. And if those things, like I have a sister who I think is incredibly fulfilled,

Andrea, my middle sister. I think all three of my sisters are, but my middle sister, I'll tell you about her Dean really quickly, she had lost her vision many years ago. Most people know that she had gone blind. She's diabetic retinopathy. And so she had lost her vision. And my sister doesn't make a lot of money. She's a Christian school teacher. But I think she has a very rich life and a very fulfilled life, particularly now that she can see again

and she can teach again. And the reason is, is that she chose something that was the fullest expression of her soul, of her spirit, of what she wanted to be. And to me, the American dreams got conflated the last few years. And the reason it's a controversial topic is the American dream now appears to be about wealth, affluence, influence, materialism. And we've made that the dream.

And because that looks like the dream through social media and reality shows and these different things, the controversial part of it is most people believe those things are reserved for a very select group of people, which in point of fact may have some validity to it. Not everybody's going to be worth a hundred million dollars. Not everybody's going to fly private. And when we've made that the prize, it becomes controversial because not everybody thinks they could get that. And by the way, the truth is not everybody wants that, but everybody wants to live authentically.

Everybody wants freedom to be and express who they are, to create, to build something, to give something. To me, that's the American dream. And I do believe that's alive, but I believe we've conflated what it means. In other words, if it doesn't pay you 5 million bucks a year, that's not the dream. And for some people who are listening to this or watching it, their dream is the material part. And I think there's a freedom to express it that way as well. But I think a lot of people feel pressured like, I don't want all these things everybody else wants, but I'm supposed to want them.

And now I'm conflicted internally because I don't truly want all the material things. And because I don't truly want it, I'm probably not going to produce it because you have to be obsessed with whatever you want in your life. And it's not a real obsession to me. And so to me, what's happened even to me recently is like, I've been willing to say, you know what? Those were my other dreams. I have new dreams now. I've re-audited my life and what matters to me now. And it's okay that those things change Here's the other thing it's okay for in life to change your mind To say I used to believe that I no longer do there are things I used to teach

I don't teach anymore because I've changed I get it and so so in my mind. Yes, I believe it's alive. I just think the real dream should be the fullest expression of your soul in your heart. If that dream means you want to live in a cabin in the mountains and explore nature all day long, or serve in your church full time, or work in a nonprofit, or make a hundred million dollars, or teach something like what we're going to talk about in a minute that you believe is valuable that can improve other people's lives. Like these are things that I think we need to create a space again in the world that says, what's your dream? Not your parents, not your sisters, not social medias, and not even what yours was five years ago. Five years ago. I mean, listen, for me,

and I'll shut up and I'll ask you this, 25 years ago, one of my major dreams would be incredibly wealthy to be comfortable, to take care of my family dreams would be incredibly wealthy, to be comfortable, to take care of my family, to be financially independent, to never, my dream was less to be incredibly wealthy, better said, I didn't want to be poor. I didn't want to, I didn't want to struggle financially. I didn't want to not be there for my family. Well, now that that's sort of been achieved, it's not really, financial success is not a major dream of mine. Contribution is.

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That's P R O L O N life dot com slash my let for this special offer. That's prolonlife.com slash my let. These statements and products have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration. These products are not intended to Diagnose treat cure or prevent any disease or condition But speak to that why you and Tony even came up with this whole program It's really just taking one level of productivity to another Right. So if you're gonna take one level of productivity to another and you're gonna get out of a career mindset or

Business that you have that's not fulfilling. It's making the money, but you don't feel alive You don't feel you're changing the world You don't feel like you're growing or contributing right then people want to make a shift and the reason we love what it is We do when we talk about selling your knowledge, right now. I'll simplify that here in a minute is about selling your knowledge, right? And I'll simplify that here in a minute. Is because if the game has truly changed, not the mindset, we still have to tap into our full potential, we still have to see opportunity, not obstacles, we have to focus on what we have,

not what we've lost, right? All those things that you teach so abundantly well. But if you're gonna say, it's time for me to do something different, that's why Tony and I say, explore adding a digital product, an information product to the current business you have, me to do something different. That's why Tony and I say explore adding a digital product, an information product, to the current business you have or explore launching that.

Because if the game has changed, let's take inflation. Everybody's worried about inflation and gas prices and all the pieces. If you think about starting a business, even Warren Buffett said it in his last address to the country, is if you're taking a business right right? Even Warren Buffett said it in his last address to the country, right? Is if you're taking a business right now with inflation, the cost of goods, the cost of overhead,

the cost of electric, the cost of oil, if you don't have those margins baked in, you're gonna get killed. Inflation could hurt you or if you sell information, you sell your life experience. I mean, look what you do with Arte. Look what you do with this podcast. Look what you do with your book.

All of that is information. And I would bet to say it's probably the best line item on a P&L because there was no cost of goods. You didn't have to air condition it. You didn't have to ship it. You didn't have to store it, but it's the most impactful. It's actually the thing that lights you up, Ed, more than anything I've ever seen.

Watching you on stage, watching you talk about your book to me watching you I was at one of your first masterminds ever I flew to you know I flew up with you and Andy and had an amazing time I watch you come alive by sharing your life experience an amazing asset that you just earned through life right so the reason I say that is because inflation could hurt you or it could be a launching pad AI Everybody is worried about AI or empowered by AI AI is gonna crush some industries. That's a fact

But it's also gonna empower some it's a launching pad AI in the self-education Industry allows you to go faster quicker go deeper get off the blank page people want something with purpose number one Watching you do what you do, Ed, watching what I get to do and so many others, when you get to share a life experience, a career skill, a problem you went through and now you're on the other side, or a passion you have,

it feels good to help change people's lives. So it brings purpose. That's number one. It brings passion to your life, that work-life integration. Number two, more people today want to start their own thing because they're sick of having a career mindset where they feel Stifled they feel stuck they feel in a rut so they're looking around and if you're gonna look for something Why not find an asset that you already own and learn how to extract it and share it again

I see your book sitting right there that amazing book could. Could be a book, could be a workshop, could be a community, could be a course, could be the mastermind that you do on a monthly basis. And the reason this industry is at a billion dollars a day right now is because it's not just being fueled by you and me anymore, Ed, and not Tony Robbins, and not Brendan Bouchard. People are realizing they don't wanna go back to school,

they don't wanna learn on their own, they just wanna find somebody who's already done what it is that they want to do and say, are you willing to sell me that knowledge? So with all that said, I hope I tied this together, is entrepreneurship lives in so many of us, especially if they're with you, Ed. If they're listening right now, somebody

knows they're either already doing it or they want to. Secondly, the purpose it brings and the passion it brings allows work life integration. There's not that, oh, shut the job off and try to live life. It is life. Right? Third, it's a fast, one of the fastest growing industries in the world. And each of us have that experience inside of us.

So why Tony and I do an event over three days, we're going to pull back the curtain because we've been doing it collectively for 74 freaking years. Almost 30 for me, 44 for Tony and just show you that you got this asset and how do you enter this with confidence and the last thing I'll say is if you have a business right now adding a digital product to your company is the game changer and if it is the game changer, then if you want to start a business, why not start with a digital product? Yeah, I gotta tell you I I shouldn't know where I read this but I don't so everybody forgive me But I was reading something over the weekend that basically said over the next decade or two 50% of all humans will be self-employed or

entrepreneurs and 50% of all humans will be self-employed or entrepreneurs. And that over 80% of them, they believe will have businesses that are somehow digitally based. And so for no other reason, and just look at the trends of the world, you have the next 20, 30, 40 years of your life, you're probably gonna end up working for yourself

at some point. You're probably gonna end up having that business be somewhat driven online or digitally somehow. Now how all those things manifest themselves and what we see things through and what the devices are and whether we have something in our eye or on our wrist or on a phone. I don't know all of that, but all the trends tell us that you're going to end up in these positions.

So why not start to figure out what form of expression best fits you? I'm wondering what you would say to somebody, brother, who says, look, um, that sounds good. I'm just stuck. One of the things I think you're the best on the planet at maybe the best is helping people simply get unstuck. They simply move from zero to some miles per hour in their life. And most people are like, Hey, you know what? I just got knocked down in the business I was doing. I don't know if I want to get back up or my relationship just ended or you

know what? I'm just not exactly sure where I want to begin, but I'm starting to feel some anxiety. If I don't, I'm going to get left behind. What would you say to somebody who's feeling those things, which I bet is the majority of people listening or watching us? Yeah. You know, the cool part is being partners with Tony Robbins, right? I mean, you and I listened to Tony before we were friends with him. We listened to Tony Robbins, right? And I think that's the balance we Tony and I bring to each other is

he really knows how to climb under your skin and get you disturbed within action. Right. I mean, we all have got kicked in the face, right? We all been knocked down. And I don't want to sound cliche, it's the people who get back up and keep going, duh, right? But getting back up sometimes is hard or the outside world gets so crazy. I mean, this is the craziest political thing

I've ever seen in my 55 years of being on this planet. And all those outside factors can do one of two things. Inspire you to go, I need to take care of my family. I need to take care of me. I need to protect this circle around me, because no matter what happens, my family will be safe. That sounds good in theory, but sometimes it feels like you're trying to push a rope uphill.

You're running against the wind, and you go, what more can I do? And this is a time that I think Ed, more than ever, is people will sit on their hands and say, let's just see how it goes. And the reason Tony and I go live and what reason I'm on your podcast here is like, hell no, this is not a time to sit still. This is not a time to hope. This is a time you take bold, creative, innovative action to see what's possible, right? The other thing, it's all scary.

Life is scary, right? I mean, and life is just, maybe it's, maybe it's, there's been crazier times in history than we're at now, but in my time, this seems to be a crazy time. And so welcome to being human if you're a little scared. And that's one of the reasons I feel like I don't want to just keep talking about the event, Ed, but the reason we're doing this event is less about, hey, come make sure and do this your whole life.

More, come and investigate. If it's not this, then go find something. But you're going to have to do something different than you're currently doing if you're not happy. You're going to have to do something different if you're not in control of your calendar. You're going to have to do something different than you're currently doing if you're not happy You're gonna have to do something different if you're not in control of your calendar You're gonna have to do something different if someone else's is you know? Guiding your ship or steering your ship. You're gonna have to do something different We just believe this is the industry that could spark that well the biggest thing people need to learn to do

Here's what people wouldn't know about you. Dean is Look you see Dean, you go, well, one of the nicest guys in personal development, always gives credit to everybody else. You ask Dean a question, well, Ed, you're the best at it. Well, Tony's the best at it. He never takes credit. He's kind. Here's what you don't know about this dude. I mean, this is a compliment. This dude's a killer. This dude's a killer. Let me tell you what I mean when I say that. Here's something you're gonna have to all accept. And if you already have at an even deeper level, if you're gonna win, you gotta change your relationship with pain. You gotta do

hard things and build the habit of doing hard things. And what you wouldn't know about Dean, but I'm gonna make him speak to it right now. This dude leans, his tendency is to drive through the smoke. I tell this story about, we used to sponsor Carl Edwards, the NASCAR driver. I said, what's the scariest thing about driving NASCAR? He goes, easy question to answer. When there's an accident in front of you and there's all this smoke and you're going to drive 150 miles an hour through that smoke and you don't know what's on the other side,

you could be hitting something head on and you're gonna drive 150 miles an hour through that smoke, and you don't know what's on the other side, you could be hitting something head on and you're done. And he said, I've learned to drive through the smoke. And the people that I know that are ultra successful, they have a different relationship with fear and pain, and they drive through the smoke. They do hard things. They build the muscle fibers mentally of doing hard things that other people avoid doing or try to find

a way around a smarter, easier way. And that is not you. You've gotten where you are, and I don't want you to be humble about this, because this dude does difficult things. He does difficult things, quite frankly, like most people do easy things. He just runs towards the smoke. Tell him about that about you, don't be humble. Yeah, no, I appreciate the kind words.

I would have to say it's true because what I realized at a young age is my father, not going back to childhood, but my father stressed about all the little things. And you know, you don't realize this stuff when you're in an ed, you realize when you look back after 20, 30 years, but my dad freaked out and stressed about hundred dollar ideas thousand dollar ideas

And I watched the pain this guy went through and I remember at a young age just thinking to myself If I solve like my dad worries so much about the little things What if I put that much energy in just the bigger things and what happens when you're young and you start that way of thinking? It's honestly a lot easier because I was 17 18 young naive dumb in some cases, right? and just the bigger things. And what happens when you're young and you start that way of thinking, it's honestly a lot easier, because I was 17, 18, young, naive, dumb in some cases, right? So I just ran towards the fire,

saying, if my dad's gonna stress so much about a thousand dollar deal, what if I did it on 5,000, 10,000 dollar deals? And the proof is in the pudding, and you know this, Ed, some of your biggest deals that you probably have done in your life had less stress than one of the smaller deals

you've done. And what I've done is just programmed myself to say, how could I go after something bigger? You know, just be honest, I read Greenlights by McConaughey, right? Yeah. I get done with that book, just like I felt with your book. I got done, I'm like, damn, this is good, I want more.

Like, the world needs more McConaughey. So I had a mutual friend, I got done. I'm like, damn, this is good. I want more. Like the world needs more McConaughey. So I had a mutual friend. I found I got a voice memo over to McConaughey and I told my team we're going to help this dude build a course through what we do. Right. We're gonna help build a course. We're going to do a live event and we're going to help get this course in the hands of tens of thousands of people. My team's like, how the heck could we get that done? Right. When I got on the phone with his attorney, working with celebrities is different. You have an agent, you have an attorney, you have somebody.

And rightfully so. This crazy world, you do one thing off, it could hurt your brand, right? We get done with a meeting, my team gets off and goes, no way this is happening. How do you make that person happy, that person happy, that person happy? McConaughey's the sweetest man on the planet.

You've interviewed him. He's the sweetest guy. But my team's like person happy, that person happy. McConaughey is the sweetest man on the planet. You've interviewed him. He's the sweetest guy. But my team's like, no way that's happening. So we get done with this meeting and I go in and sit in my team. Like, what do you guys think? Like, no way in hell. It's never going to happen. How do you satisfy so many people?

And I'm like, listen, you guys, that means no one else can do it besides us. Let's just do whatever it takes. And if we go all the way and it doesn't happen then I'm gonna love the lessons we learned along this journey and I know it takes years to get up to that you know to to do an event like that, but it was one of the toughest events on the planet and the most rewarding in my life and on the planet and the most rewarding in my life. And tough in the meaning of just every ad that we did, every visual that we did, how to be approved by five different people,

how to work, and I would not change one bit of it. I created new friends, McConaughey became a friend, and we did the largest event in the history of that. We had two and a half million people on day one, live. Like, insane what we did, and we put his course in the hands of tens of thousands of people they all loved it they thank him to this day they people find him on the street and thank him in fact the last thing i'll say i said to mcconaughey what did you think

of the whole experience and he said well i thought you were crazy at first i thought i'd never do something like this i said well what do you think now he said uh i realize it's the greatest experience in my life. Cause my whole life I play, he said, my whole life, I've played a character that was written by somebody else, directed by somebody else, edited by somebody else. He said, I got to play me. So when people come up, they don't go, I love the character. They say, thank you. So, Hey guys, are you looking for more optimization in your life?

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These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or condition. So I get asked all the time, how did I get so much attention on social media, in my businesses, email lists, etc. I can tell you straight up, it's been constant contact. If you don't know who constant contact is, you need to know about these guys.

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See, you're most fulfilled when you're expressing the real you. and even someone like Matthew McConaughey Who's had all these external accolades says is the best experience of his life because he got to express him and that's when we're fulfilled I really believe probably the most under-pursued underspoken about part of fulfillment in life right now in the personal development industry is about part of fulfillment in life right now in the personal development industry is the level of fulfillment one feels when they're the fullest expression or the truest expression of themselves and serving people.

And if you're looking for a pathway to have a little bit more juice in your life, peace, happiness, fulfillment, I believe that's the place to look. Am I expressing myself, my love, my gift, my knowledge, my information, my feelings to the people around me, to the broader world in a way that fulfills me? And if you're not, if you're holding these things in, which is what most people do, they hold their feelings, they hold their thoughts, they hold what they believe in,

they hold their opinions, they hold their knowledge, I believe you're dying. I believe that's the beginning of a death of our spirit. And I believe, not to be very faith-based here, but I really believe this, God did not make you for you to repress your greatness, for you to suppress your expression of you. You're not doing what I believe is God's will in your life when you suppress your stance, when you suppress your knowledge, when you cheat another human being out of the gift of you helping them. And I always say this, my life changed because my dad got sober, but my dad got sober because somebody helped him get sober. Another human being said, I can help you. And by

the way, what qualified them wasn't they were there's magnificent, perfect person. What qualified them is they at one time were also an alcoholic and a drug addict. And that's what was qualifying them. So ironically, the great pain they went through in their life was the qualifier to help other people. Perhaps that what you should be looking at right now, my friend, maybe this pain you've been through somewhere is the pathway for that expression to help other people and to your fulfillment So having said that failure is a great teacher as well. I've never asked you this and we're good friends You ever have them is there a major failure you could share if you're being vulnerable that changed your life Dean any personal professional a

Failure where you went, yeah, that was one of the hardest times of my life, and thank God for it, from the standpoint of growth, change, learning, whatever it might be. Well, you know, Ed, I could share with you business failures that were the most painful thing that you just think it's over. I know you've been there.

When you just think you screwed up, I'm not smart enough. Why did I try to play this big game? You know I'm from a blue-collar small town in the East Coast. My dad worked on cars, his father worked on cars, my cousins worked on cars, and I try to play a bigger game and when it failed the first couple of times I'm like see my dad was right and my cousins were right. I'm not smart enough for this. I don't have a degree. I don't have a degree I don't have money And and that voice is always going to screw with you and i'll just say we we all know we got two voices inside Of us the one that says you're meant for more you can do anything go for it

And the other one says you're a fool. Why the hell would you try it? You knew you and I don't want to over Play something that you already know, but I just want to say Know that we all have two voices mine's still in there But I just want to say we know that we all have two voices mine still in there and my my voice That knowing I meant for more just outweighs the other one about 51 49 percent. That's it. It's not a hundred So that's a fact so I could tell you about a couple of those failures that were tough But if I'm gonna be really vulnerable the hardest experience of my entire life was going through a divorce Hands down and not the divorce itself. My ex and I agreed years prior that our relationship wasn't working and we knew it wasn't. But I came

from nine divorces. My dad was married five times, my mom four, moved a million times. By the time I was 20, I moved 20 times. Different step-brothers,others, step sisters. I had a step grandfather named Leo Rizzo. The guy took me fishing and hunting, bought me a Mongoose BMX bike. This guy was so awesome. Taught me how to pheasant hunt. One day I come home from school, our on the front yard. It's like, no more Leo Rizzo. We're getting thrown out of the house. So I lose my step grandpa, right? I passed them for years. I'd almost have tears in my eyes when I passed them.

Cause he was like this massive force in my life for six years and then gone overnight. Right? So I think I held on to all that stuff, Ed, and I didn't realize it. In fact, if you don't mind me being person, I know we're talking about business and stuff, but um, I went through such a tough time going through a divorce. And when I dug in, I just stuffed all that down, All that pain and what I did is just work my ass off. Excuse my language. I just worked harder than anybody else and I said no one's gonna mess with my life.

I will be so financially secure, no one's gonna throw my stuff out, no one's gonna tell me what to do. I'll be in control of my decisions, I'll retire my parents because my mom worked hard, I'm gonna do whatever the freak it takes. So whenever I failed, I had that big why. So I'm telling you all this not to brag,

just I'm building, I got momentum, life's going good. And now all of a sudden we decide to get a divorce and I think all those childhood things that I tucked into a box and put a lock on it, somebody asked me what happened, I said, the lock came off the box. And Ed, I went through, I never told another human being, I went through six months of anxiety, never had anxiety in my life. I said the lock came off the box and Ed I went through I never told another human being

I went through six months of anxiety. I never had anxiety in my life. I was having panic attacks I didn't want to get on a plane. I didn't want to get in an elevator I was popping a Xanax and once a week just so I'd have one night a week that I could sleep I was so fragmented and I I'm just sharing this for if anybody has ever gone through this with your work or your career or your life or your relationship It was so unglued that I thought to myself Wow, you made it to 47 years old or 45 years old and all the craziness of your childhood. You're done This is it like I was I was at a point where I didn't think I could come back Ed

I was like I couldn't I was just going through the motions and It made me realize my whole life in business, I went after the hard things. If I failed them, like this is what I'm gonna learn, the grit, I'll get through it. This one was crippling me. I didn't take the same patterns I had in business. I didn't apply it to my personal life.

And when I did, I started focusing on what could be the solution. I'm gonna share one more quick thing, Ed. My brain does visual things, and maybe this is somebody who might be going through it. I felt like my ship was in the bay, but it wasn't the bay I was supposed to be in. It was an okay bay, it was calm,

there was other ships like mine, but I knew I was supposed to be out in the ocean, but between me and the ocean was a storm. This is the crazy stuff my brain was thinking about. And a million times I put my ship in the storm and it was so brutal that I just turned the ship back and one day I said I can't turn back anymore and and sailing through that storm I honestly didn't think I was going to make it. I literally thought I was losing my mind but in that my brain just kept going how do I solve this? How do I

how do I get out of this pain? How do I focus on solutions? How do I take all of this and know my better version is on the other side of that? And I wrote down hundreds of things I could do to stop having anxiety. I did yoga, I did meditation, I went for walks, I did therapy. All these things weren't working. But collectively, and I'm going to share one last thing, I thought what's one thing that could solve all of it and It was if I could become friends with my ex then all my fears of my kids not being allowed to come over all the craziness My parents went through they still don't like each other and I made a commitment to become friends with my ex and The day I made the commitment My boat was on the other side of the storm

And the day I made the commitment, my boat was on the other side of the storm. We became dear friends. We went through a divorce. They call it conscious coupling. We're still dear friends. Our kids are thriving. But the only reason I'm sharing that, as you know, Lisa, my wife now, my ex is happier than she's ever been. I am madly in love.

We have two more children. We have four total. She is my best friend. She is my she is my everything. She is my power. She's the one that's, my business has grown. My life has grown. I never would have experienced that if I didn't go after that pain, that failure. And I thought I'm just doing,

I was feeling stuff like, and maybe this is too personal Ed, but I was feeling like I'm just my dad. I'm doing exactly what he did. Like all this crazy stuff came in. And the only reason I share that is because if you're going through it, sometimes you gotta put the ship in the storm and you don't find the solution

until you're in the thick of it. You don't find the answer. And on the other side is a level, a version of you that you don't recognize. The harder the storm, the more the transformation. So if, you know, so many people get stuck in a relationship or stuck in a career that's enough, it pays the bills, the kids can go to college, but you're dying on the inside.

I'm gonna say, freaking stop, like grab the wheel of the ship and turn into the freaking storm. Cause we have to face it. We're either gonna face the storm now, or at the end of your life, like my dad, who literally cries every time I see him because he never got out of the bay. And I just will not allow that to happen in my life.

And the hardest one was thinking I was going to screw my kids up. That's the reason. And now they are freaking thriving. So I hope that all made sense. Brother, come on. Three podcasts, four podcasts ago. That's my favorite moment we've had right there. Thank you for that.

Wow. Really making me think right there. I got to tell you, one thing he said in there that was important, making me think right there, I gotta tell you. One thing you said in there that was important, I wanna ask you, I'm actually doing a podcast later today on this, on decision making when you're having problems. And one of my theories in my books is that you're one decision away from changing your life. Having said that though, you said something in there that was really critical, I want

you to maybe just elaborate on a little bit more. When I am looking at the challenges of my life, quality of our life, you and I both learned this is quality of the questions we ask ourselves a lot of the times. I don't think people know what question to ask themselves when they're in crisis or they're in a real problem situation. You asked an important one there and I'd like you to elaborate on it because I think you do it intuitively now. What most people do is they look at all these symptoms that are happening, and they

don't go to the disease to solve it. And the powerful question you ask yourself there is, what's the one thing I could do that could change everything? It's called a catalyst decision. If I made this one decision or I took this one action, it's as good as taking 20 other smaller ones, right? And so do you do that when you're making decisions about putting an event on or solving a problem? Is that because I think maybe you do it naturally and we think, oh, everybody does that, but

most don't. It's that what's the one catalyst decision I can make right now that makes the gains that 20 other decisions wouldn't make. Such a great question. I have to tell you, I've done this in business so much and I didn't do it in my personal life up until that moment. And it gave me more empathy and more drive to be better at pushing people to uncomfortable action. I know you've watched this with my relationship with Lisa

and getting through that. I've transformed, right? What we did with, you know, we are. Our last 11 events have had over a million people at a last like we're doing over a million people registered for our last 11 events in a row. Right. It pushed me to do bigger, stronger things because more people need insight. More people need. I you're not the cure.

I'm not the cure. We just want to be the spark. We just want to show them an alternative way to think, not the magical money machine or the magical happy pill or the magical get skinny bill. No, there's just other ways to address the same thing. What that did by me experiencing that pain is I got to get better.

I got to go bigger. I got to persuade people to take action more. It just drove me. But what I want to share is I was doing it intuitively in business, right? I'd say, what are the odds? What can I do? How do I solve this problem? I get to my personal life, I feel crippled,

I don't know what the hell to do. And I'll tell you what I did, and maybe you could model this if you're listening right now and you're going through something. I wrote down all the things that I was afraid of. Now I know this sounds simple, but please humble me here. I wrote down, I had a Sunday meeting with my children since they were three years old.

Every Sunday was our Sunday meeting. Talk about life, what their experience, talk about everything at each phase. We went away in the summer for a month together. All the things that I did with my kids, I felt like all of those were gonna go away. So I wrote down, I'm gonna to miss out on summer vacations. I'm going to miss out on Sunday meetings. What if I'm traveling?

You know, our travel schedule, what if I travel for a week and I come home and it's not my week? Am I going to go two weeks without seeing my nine year old son? Like, and all of these things were freaking me out. It was also freaking me out. What if she married somebody or I marry somebody and it's like our, my parents didn't talk to each other. What if she talks behind my back and says your dad my parents hated each other so much they talk crap about each other so much I had a lie to him so all of those

things I wrote down every one of them and I was on like I want to take a Xanax like I was so stressed and I wrote down what are the things I can do to solve them and I wrote down meditation work focus on solutions all the that we've learned and done every day and none of it was coming through and I was doing yoga and I was meditating and I was doing all the stuff. I was interviewing people that went through divorce and as I'm looking at all the things that stress me out and then all the things that I could potentially do, all I kept saying is what is the one thing, I know I went through it, the power of one, right?

What is the one thing I could do that solves all of this and I just kept writing it down I'm like if I am real friends not fake friends if I am really friends and I got her back She's never gonna take the kids away from me. She's never gonna talk bad about me. She's never she's never she never all of it went away, and I didn't just I Didn't just mess around. I wrote her 10 commandments. I said, let me just say,

I will never talk behind your back ever to this day. I will never, even if I'm frustrated with something, no one will ever hear me say one bad thing about my ex. I said, I will never, I promised her, ready for this one? I promised her that I would date someone for an entire year before I would bring them into the kid's life. A year later, I meet Lisa, the love of my life. I want to marry her in three months.

I said, I made a commitment. I showed it to her. I said, we've got to wait a year. She did not meet my kids for one whole year. She wanted to every day. She's like, can I please me? I'm like, no, I wrote these commandments. I'm going to stick to it.

And I stuck to these things, Ed, and it's like, just like that. So if you're going through something in business and life, take, write down all the things you're stressed about, all the things that you could do to change it, and then look at the compound effect. What's one thing you can do that shifts everything? And you're right, I do that in business all the time. It's the first time I did it in my personal life. That's so good, brother. If you've been listening or watching the

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You're around some of the smartest people in the world through your work with Tony, and I hear mixed things like, wow, hey, unemployment's low. The stock market's at an all time high. Maybe they're going to cut rates in April. Maybe this winter isn't as long as we thought. I'm just curious, you know, where you, what your gut is. Cause you don't know, you don't have a crystal ball, but you're one of the smartest people I've ever met. I'm not going to have you on my show and not ask you sort of what you see,

because that helps people make decisions, right? So what do you see short term and long term for the economy? So what I'd say is, I can only go by the way I feel, right? I, and this is sad to say, I don't have faith in other people's decisions. I should say I have less faith in other people's decisions for the well-being of our country than ever before. I don't think people are making decisions for the overall well-being.

I think we are stuck in this super left or super right and just winning. I think we are in this phase of winning and it is leaving here in America, probably all over the world, it is leaving people in the middle, unsure. And when there's insecurity, when there's uncertainty, I surely cannot predict an economic shift because who knows, it's been the weirdest thing for the last couple of years. But I don't have faith, Ed. And it doesn't make me freak out. I'm not an extremist.

I'm not paranoid. I'm not building a bunker. Not that there's anything wrong with building a bunker. If you want to build one, please do. But I don't have faith. And it's actually dry. I don't have faith in the economy. I don't have faith where we're going.

I don't think it's going to follow a normal pattern, Ed. There's been so much shift in the world that I don't think it's following what's happened in the past. And Tony and I have these deep conversations. It feels the same way. And what our plan is, if we can't predict it, then we just got to go strong. We got to go harder and protect our family. If we do better, if we can help the people around us more, if we can help more people be lifted up, then we have the opportunity to just say, let's focus on us. Like more than ever, I'm focusing less on what everybody else is doing and more how I can achieve more impact more and do more because I don't think it's heading in a great

direction. But that's just my personal opinion. No, that's why I want it. I want the year on for those reasons, brother. And I'm, I'm, I, you know, I want it. I want the year on for those reasons, brother. And you know, I want to acknowledge one thing in you. I see you a little bit more bold than I've seen you before. And I like it. That tells me you've got a lot of confidence in what you're doing and your plan and where you're taking your family. Speaking of that, two more things. You're around like I am. We've both been blessed to be around what most people would say are some of the most

successful people in the world, whether, you know, you said McConaughey earlier, Tony Robbins, or, you know, the various people you guys bring into your events or the, you know, people that have achieved unbelievable things as a human on this earth, right? I've never asked you this on the show before, actually no one's ever asked me this which is surprising Is there something they have in common? These people who live uncommon lives because we know Matthew McConaughey's personality is very different than Tony Robbins, let's say right in certain ways, right? So these people who live uncommon lives, what do they have in common? Tough question, but I'd love to hear your answer

Yeah, no, it's a tough question, but it's a great question and I don't want to oversimplify it But even you know having the chance to hang out with McConaughey, right you see, you know Academy Award-winning actor Best-selling author and all the other things that he's done that nobody sees behind the scenes. But even more so, he's an amazing husband, an amazing father. His wife was, we worked together for seven days straight in the room next door. His wife sat next to him every single day they worked, we got the work done.

So I would say the common thread, even seen it in Matthew, is a, again, you're going to hear this and you know it, they all have a big purpose. They all have a big reason. Some people, and you've got to be okay with this, some people are running away from the dark, meaning, you know, Richard Branson, I had the blessing of sailing around his island and spending three hours just talking about life with him, right? You talk to somebody like that, or Tony or McConaughey and all these other people. Half of them are running away from a really painful childhood, but they still feel the pain. And I think some people go, no, I'm just going to, I'm going to let that go. Sometimes you got to leave the pain there to disturb you. Like just being honest and maybe, maybe that's old school. Maybe in today's world, someone world a therapist might say you're crazy Dean, you gotta, like I'm still running away from not wanting to be my dad.

I still work my ass, I have a big purpose, but sometimes you need the dark side, I don't want to end up as him, that is my fuel and plus I have a big purpose moving forward. So one is, don't be afraid to use whatever it takes to get the rocket off the ground. If it's pain, use it. If it's leaving your life the way it is and seeing yourself at 87 years old like my dad, unfortunately, and crying every day because you missed it, use it, feel it, live it. And I see that common thread. The other common thread, there's lots of them, but they hustle. You said it earlier today. I mean, McConaughey, when he said, if we're going to do this, I'm doing it right. I said, you want to get together for a day?

He's like, no. I said, all right, cool. You want to just do Zoom? He's like, no. That's how he goes, no. I said, what do you want to do? He goes, I'm going to fly. I'm going to get a place next to you in Phoenix.

I'm going to come to your office every day, 12 hours a day. Let's make it amazing. He came here for seven days. We sat in that room for seven days straight and crafted his course, every single word. And he's like, Dean, you've been doing this longer than me. He's such a student. That's another one, if I'm gonna use McConaughey, so is Tony Robbins.

He's like, dude, this is what you do. If we were doing a movie, you should be listening to me. But I'm doing your jam. What about this word? Should I put this before that? He was a student. He was a hustler. But man, this guy had a purpose behind him.

So I would say that's the common thread in most everybody I meet. You know what's interesting? The third thing you added is the one people don't talk about. And what I'm blown away by is the successful people have asked me to coach them. I mean really successful people that have run big things. How devout they are as students. how devout they are as students. They show up literally to meetings with notepads and a pen to write notes down. Isn't it mind blowing when you meet someone you're like, my gosh. Mind blowing.

Yeah. It's one of the things that's a secret is their desire to learn and their humility mixed with their confidence. They're super confident people, but their humility to say, I want to extract from you what you know or have that I don't know or have. And they take it much more seriously than most people do. It's one of those hidden little things. I feel like I have it. I still read, I still study.

I'm watching you today. How do you lay out your points? How you paused a couple of times when I asked for reflection. Like I look at everything, whereas I think most people just see the surface. They just, they don't really study success. If I jump in here real quick though, and I would bet to say hands down in my life, and I know in yours too, is when you develop the pattern of not only how to do things, but who has already done it

and modeling proven practices, again, you've heard it a million times. I'm not trying to tell you something. Let me just be a reminder service for you today. But there is no reason on this planet to figure anything out or start at first base when you can model proven practices and start on third base. That is the fastest way to get from where you are to where you want to be. Yep. Chinese proverb that I keep quoting lately, if you wanna know the road ahead, ask those coming back.

That's the world we live in today. That's the world we live in. I love it. All right, everybody, Dean, I love you. Make sure you all register. It's June 13th through 15th. Register now, deanandtonylive.com forward slash Ed. I gotta think there's not to be a lot more chances

to be an event like the game has changed with you and Tony live for no cost. I doubt that's going to exist much longer. Yeah, this might be it's fun and we're having the time of our lives, but our lives have gotten so complex and so busy. This might be the last one, and that's not a scarcity play. It's just a reality. And we're just in a place, listen, Tony's in a place in his life, just like you are Ed.

We feel blessed to say we don't have to do anything anymore. We could retire and go sit on a beach and we're working harder than we've ever worked because it's a time when people need us the most. And this week we've been in this industry 70 plus years collectively, but we've been helping people unlock their asset that lives in their brain

and turn it into a course, a training, a program, turn it into an asset to sell for, this is our sixth year. I'm saying, if you're gonna eventually do your own thing or you already are and you're not including understanding what a knowledge product is, what an information product is, then do whatever it takes to show up at the event. It's Tony and I, we got some amazing guests coming and over three days we're going to

pull back the curtain and show you how this could be something spectacular in your life. Thank you, brother. Today was something spectacular in my life and in the lives of millions of people who are going to hear this and watch it. So I love you. Thank you for being here today and God bless you all, everybody. Share this episode. max out your life This is the end