THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Neuroscience: Harnessing Your Mind's Power with Dr. Doty

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

Get ready to unlock the secrets of your brain's potential with one of the most fascinating minds in neuroscience, Dr. James Doty! In this episode, we're diving deep into the science behind manifestat...ion, breaking down the barriers between what you want and how to achieve it. Dr. Doty, a clinical professor of neurosurgery at Stanford and the founder of the Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, shares his groundbreaking insights into how our thoughts and intentions can reshape our brains. You'll learn: -The neuroscience of manifestation: Discover how your brain's circuits can be trained to help you achieve your goals. -The four key brain networks involved in manifesting: Understand the roles of the default mode network, salience network, central executive network, and limbic system. -Practical techniques to enhance your mental performance: Learn how to switch from stress mode to rest and digest mode, engaging your parasympathetic nervous system for optimal brain function. -Dr. Doty's incredible journey: From a challenging childhood filled with adversity to becoming a leading figure in neuroscience, his story is a testament to the power of the human mind. -The importance of self-compassion: Embrace your imperfections and understand the profound impact of self-love and acceptance on your mental health and overall well-being. This episode isn't just about understanding the science; it's about applying these principles to transform your life. Whether you're aiming to boost your mental performance, achieve your dreams, or simply find more peace in your daily life, Dr. Doty's insights will provide you with the tools you need. Join us as we explore the fascinating intersection of neuroscience and personal development, and start harnessing the true power of your mind today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 So, hey guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now? Maybe stunted in your progress? Well, if you are, I want to recommend a place for you to go called GrowthDay. GrowthDay.com forward slash ed. It is the number one personal development app on the planet. It's got all kinds of high performance techniques in there, courses, accountability, journaling, live speeches from some of the top influencers in the world, including me.
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Starting point is 00:00:49 and electronics plus free shipping on everything. Don't miss out on Black Friday and July savings at dell.com forward slash deals that's dell.com forward slash deals. Celebration is a universal language it connects people wherever they go and for 40 years Aeroplan has taken our members all deals. So join the celebration with special Aeroplaniversary offers and 40 chances to win a million points at aeroplan.com slash 40. Rules and conditions apply. This is the Ed Myron Show. All right, welcome back to the show everybody. So my guest today, you ready for this?
Starting point is 00:01:44 She's the clinical professor of neurosurgery at Stanford. I was telling him earlier, I think we have at least an 80-point discrepancy in our IQs and in his favor. He's also the founder and director of the Center for Compassion and Altarism Research and Education and I have to tell you, I love him because he likes to sneak a cigar here and there and a little gin and tonic. So we have a little bit of that conversation off camera as well. Maybe more than a little. Maybe more than a little.
Starting point is 00:02:09 He's truly a brother in that sense. But I gotta tell you something, I'm having him on today, not because of any of that, even though it's very impressive. I'm having him on today because he's got a book that I love, that I read cover to cover in two days called Mind Magic, the Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything. We're gonna get into the neuroscience of manifestation and how it changes everything. We're going to get into the neuroscience of manifesting things everybody today with Dr. James Doty.
Starting point is 00:02:30 Thank you for coming here today, Dr. Doty and welcome to the show. No, listen, it's a pleasure. Now I have, I'm envious, which is a trait I try to diminish, but now I'm looking at your background and I want to hang out there. So, Well, you're invited as long as you bring the cigars I can tell you that. I have a whole box of Cohibas from Cuba although I won't tell you how I got them. But I don't want to know that but I want you to bring them and I'm gonna I'm gonna manifest that somehow after today's podcast. So okay let's get into it.
Starting point is 00:03:00 You know manifestation is this topic that in personal development, MySpace has sort of always been kind of a woo woo type thing, kind of, I don't know, like a new age type of thing. And what I loved about your book is that you kind of take it out of that realm and show us actually how our thoughts and our intentions can actually reshape our brains to some extent or to a large extent. So talk about just the beginning of how, in your case, you studied this and the difference of how it can make in our brains,
Starting point is 00:03:29 literally reshaping our brains when we learn to manifest correctly. Sure, I think some of your audience might want a little bit of a backstory of my own background, which was when I was first exposed to this technique or process. was when I was first exposed to this technique or process. And also how I understood the difference between what I think I want versus what I need, which is really fundamental. But I grew up in poverty. My father was an alcoholic. My mother had had a stroke when I was a child. She was partially paralyzed, had a seizure disorder,
Starting point is 00:04:07 chronically depressed, attempted suicide multiple times. We were on public assistance, evicted from multiple residences. Wow. Yeah, and of course, as you can imagine, that's not necessarily the manner in which one starts a successful life path. And in fact, many, many people who grow up
Starting point is 00:04:27 in those environments are lost, even though they're intelligent, they're bright, they have talent, but the pure nature of the burden that that puts on people, for many people, destroys them. Now, what made the difference for me was that, oftentimes when my parents would argue or there would be trauma or tumult at the house, I would get on my orange Stingray bike.
Starting point is 00:04:52 You may have had one of those years ago with the big banana seat. Mine was orange. But anyway, I would ride it as far and as fast as I could away from my house. And one time I ended up at a strip mall. And there was a magic shop at the strip mall. And that's the title of the book, which is Into the Magic Shop, a neurosurgeon's quest
Starting point is 00:05:16 to discover the mysteries of the brain and the secrets of the heart. So I walked into this magic shop because I'd had an interest in magic. And there was a woman there in her mid-50s. But the thing about her was, and I'm sure you've met people like this, there are people who you come across and immediately feel a connection. You feel that you're actually talking to somebody who's listening, that they care about you. And I was 12 at the time. But I had been traumatized.
Starting point is 00:05:47 What people forget is children who grow up in these types of environment, it's like a veteran being in a war zone, because you never know what's gonna happen, you're constantly attuned to threat, and you cannot attend because you're always looking around. And so this woman started talking to me, and it turned out she knew nothing about magic, but she was the owner's mother who just happened to be there while he did an errand. Regardless though we talked for about
Starting point is 00:06:13 20 minutes and after that she said you know I'm here for another six weeks if you show up every day I think I could teach you something that could really help you. And now I have to be honest with you if you're 12 years old I don't know about you but I had a complete lack of self-awareness. And in that context, I was also filled with a sense of hopelessness and despair. And I did agree to come. And the reason I came though was actually I had nothing else to do and she had been giving me chocolate chip cookies. So that was the primary driver. But anyway I showed up and the first thing she taught me actually and this was before we talked about mindfulness or neuroplasticity
Starting point is 00:06:52 sort of in the public domain, it wasn't there but she taught me a mindfulness practice and I never realized that I was tense all the time and so she taught me a way to relax. And again, if you're stressed and anxious, it's hard to attend and be present. So she taught me a technique to calm myself down or emotionally regulate and to be able to focus. And then she made me realize that the dialogue
Starting point is 00:07:20 that was going on in my head, which said, you're not good enough, you're not worthy, you don't deserve love, was not truth. And that's an interesting aspect of what we'll be talking about because people create these limiting beliefs by telling themselves things, but it's not truth. And Dr. Doty, let me ask you a question. Is this Ruth?
Starting point is 00:07:43 Are you referring to Ruth? Yes. Okay. So I want to just unpack that just for a second. First of all, I so practical and real and it's in the book and by the way Because this book is so thick with so many different things in it We could do a four-hour podcast and you should still go get the book because The few things that we'll be able to cover on today's show don't do the book justice, but I I learned a lot and I actually wrote down The process that ruth took you through for my own benefit and so would you mind at least kind of going over some of that process for everybody because candidly for me I sat in this room yesterday and I wrote out that process for myself to use to calm myself down even
Starting point is 00:08:34 at this age. So would you share some of that please? Are you talking about taming the heart or opening the heart and taming the mind and relaxing the body? Yes, relaxing the body part is what resonated with me. Yeah, well people who grow up in these challenging environments, again it's like you're a goldfish in a fishbowl but the water is dirty and if that's all you've lived in you have no idea that the way you're feeling or acting or how you're responding to the world actually is not beneficial for you. And like so many veterans who've been in the war zone,
Starting point is 00:09:13 they not only have trauma from being in the war zone, but they have post-traumatic stress disorder. And so one of the things you ultimately have to do is you have to emotionally regulate. And this is because in these types of situations, your sympathetic nervous system, your flight, fight, or freeze response is chronically activated. And you don't appreciate it, but all of your muscles are tight, you're always looking around.
Starting point is 00:09:39 So the first thing she taught me was a traditional mindfulness practice of relaxing the body. And literally we went from the tip of the toes to the top of the head. Now I have to tell you, he's a 12 year old. I had no self-awareness and you know I was doing this, I showed up, but I'm sitting there going, wow, what is really going on here and frankly I was going this is sort of bullshit but but I did it and what I found was that I did relax and I was much more calm and I wasn't like you know constantly having my muscles tight and and then she taught me a technique I called taming the mind in that book and
Starting point is 00:10:20 this was the ability to focus in this case on a candle but you can do it with the mantra or you can do it with simply an object but what it does is it helps you not respond to the endless negative chatter that goes on in your head and and it also you learn that there is chatter and this is what I was talking about earlier which is this negative self-dialogue. And unlike traditional mindfulness as is practiced today, what she did there was though to give yourself positive affirmations, which changes that dialogue and decreases the sound of it. One of the way mindfulness works is you don't respond to these negative events going on past your head. In this case though, you respond to them by reversing the statements to one of positivity. And then once she did that, she taught me a technique of opening the heart. And what I mean by that is I didn't realize how much I was suffering.
Starting point is 00:11:23 And oftentimes when people suffer, you have this negative dialogue going on and you begin to believe it. And the body or the mind, if you will, doesn't know the difference between truth or non-truth. And what I say, or what I mean by that is, if you sit there and say, it is not possible, I cannot, that in turn turns into truth.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Because if you say it's not possible, then there's no way it's going to happen. But conversely, if you develop a mindset of infinite possibilities for yourself and understand that you are the determinant, because this negative dialogue is fundamentally as if you're laying down a brick each time and you're creating a prison for yourself and as those walls get higher it gets darker and the thing though is that you have the key to let yourself out of the prison and once you realize that that changes everything and very much related to this book we're talking about today Mind Magic it's understanding how powerful you really are and so many people give their self
Starting point is 00:12:37 agency away by listening to other people and as a species we have what we call negativity bias, where negative things have a tendency to stick to us. So once she allowed me to be, if you will, self-compassionate and accept myself with all of my imperfections and understanding that that is OK, it also made me realize that everyone is suffering and that I oftentimes like so
Starting point is 00:13:08 many of us we make a projection of how we think people are responding to us but oftentimes and again it relates to this book we don't appreciate that a lot of people's actions at an unconscious level relate to their background growing up that they carry baggage with. And that baggage determines every interaction, it determines oftentimes the job or profession they take, it determines the relationships they have. And so once she made me recognize that others are suffering, it also gave me another gift which was,
Starting point is 00:13:43 I used to have a lot of anger and hostility towards my parents, not because they didn't love me, but because they were not there for me. And once I recognized this, I understood that they did not have the tools to help themselves. So it made me be much more thoughtful of kind. And then what happened is I realized that once I, one, stopped beating myself up, and two, hearing this hostility or negativity about me, it changed how people interacted with me. And once that happens, I realized that actually,
Starting point is 00:14:16 if you create that correct type of energy or what you're putting out there, actually people do wanna help you. And at the end of the day, that changed everything. And ultimately, which is actually the basis of this book, is she taught me a manifestation or a visualization technique. And in the first book, I gave some fundamental principles, but I didn't go into all the detail. And I realized after a lot of emails and letters
Starting point is 00:14:46 from people that that was a key thing that people wanted to understand. But they wanted to understand it not from, as you said, the woo-woo pseudoscience part of it. They wanted to understand the fundamental neuroscience of it and how you can manifest maximally if you will or have the greatest potential to manifest your goals or dreams or your intentions and but that has to do with actually not the woo-woo side or the law of attraction or thinking the universe is going to somehow intervene if you have the right mindset it comes down to one claiming your self agency or intervene if you have the right mindset, it comes down to one, claiming your self-agency or the power you have, but also doing
Starting point is 00:15:33 fundamental practices that will actually increase the likelihood because you have to have what we call these cognitive brain networks to function at their best and there's certain ways to do that but the most important part is you have to get out of the stress mode into the rest and digest mode or the engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system. Okay so let's stop it let's jump in there just for a second so so everybody one of the things I want you to take a look at too because we're gonna talk about actually some of the neuroscience of it now. So, hey guys, as you know, I've partnered up with my good friend, Brennan Bruchard,
Starting point is 00:16:13 who's created the greatest personal development system that has ever been designed called Growth Day. There's everything from journaling to accountability programs, live messages every Monday from myself and other influencers. There's an opportunity for you to get courses that would cost thousands of dollars completely for free. It's incredible. Go to growthday.com forward slash ed and check it out. If you listen to the show for a while, you've heard me and my guests talk a lot about how critical it is to have your wellness goals in order, especially lately with me. So you know how powerful visualization is when you visualize yourself one, 10, 30 years from now, you've achieved all your goals. Ask yourself this, am I healthy at that point in your visions?
Starting point is 00:16:51 Of course you are. But like anything else without a plan to get and remain healthy, you can't hit the goal. That's why I'm so thrilled to be partnering with life force. It's co-founded by my good friend, Tony Robbins and Peter Diamandis. Life force is a leader in proactive care. The life force membership includes everything you need to understand your wellness and help you make good decisions today to keep you on track in the future for your health. Listeners of my show get $250 when they first sign up for their membership by going to MyLifeForce.com. That's MyLifeForce.com.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Take control of your wellness with Life Force and see what the healthiest version of you actually looks like and is capable of. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. And I'm grateful that it is. I got to tell you, you know, I get asked all the time, what's the one thing that
Starting point is 00:17:40 most of the guests that have been on this show have in common? I could tell you they're all from different backgrounds. Some of them are tall, some of them are short, some of them are from the US, some of them are from abroad. Different ethnic backgrounds, religious backgrounds, you name it. But I gotta tell you, most of them have been to therapy and I'm a big believer in therapy. I think that whether you've got some real trauma you got to work through in your life or you know you just got a problem you want to work on right now, maybe you just want to talk out loud about some issues you got or find a better quality of emotions.
Starting point is 00:18:05 Big believer in therapy. And I love better help. I love better help because number one is done online. Number two, if you get a therapist, you don't vibe with them. You can switch at any given time that you want to. It's a wonderful way to go to therapy. And I really believe it can help you if you have things that you want help with. So decide today, you're going to get better help a shot and stop comparing
Starting point is 00:18:22 and start focusing with better help. Visit betterhelp.com slash ed show today to get 10% off your first month that's better help HELP.com slash ed show one thing that dr. Doty points out in the book that you should all know that I love that he says early on in the book is that the universe doesn't care one way or the other you're already good at manifesting. You're already doing this. Just typically you're manifesting a lot of the things you don't want that you're worried about, that you're fearing. You're acting out of trauma already. You have some of these skill sets because these brain centers already exist for you.
Starting point is 00:18:57 And some of you doing a little bit of digging, we'll talk about HRV a little bit later, but going from the sympathetic to the parasympathetic state has everything to do with your ability to manifest. Just from a science standpoint for the people that want like, you know, the meat. In the book, you talk about the fact that manifesting primarily takes place in four large circuits in the brain. So I can go through them but I'd prefer you go through them a little bit. We can go back and forth. But this is just for all of you to know that this is neuroscience. This is not, you know, Hufu stuff here. This is actually happening in different centers and circuits in your brain. And there's actually four of them that he quotes in the book. I'll start the first one, the default mode network, which of course I had no idea what the heck that was. But why don't you take us through what the other three are and explain that to us A little bit sure. Let me just make a comment. Obviously this book says it's about the neuroscience. I got a
Starting point is 00:19:51 LinkedIn message from somebody said, you know, I bought this book I really hated it because it went so much into the neuroscience and I'm like going wasn't that the name of the book? Read the background of the guy who wrote it. What do you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, you're absolutely right. So as a preface to doing that, though, let me just say, and you mentioned it, all of us are manifesting all the time. What we don't appreciate is what we're already manifesting or what we've manifested. And what I mean by that is so much of who we are, if we don't understand how we got here today, then that we, we, because we have to change our habit, our mindset and our deep
Starting point is 00:20:31 seated beliefs. And I'm sure you've seen the situation where somebody will sit there and say, you know, I don't understand what's happening to me. You know, it seems as though this pattern keeps reoccurring. I've married the same person and they're abusive and they're an alcoholic or whatever the negative commentary is. And that's because they have no insight or self-awareness of the baggage that they have carried through childhood that is actually manifesting because you have these deep-seated
Starting point is 00:20:54 patterns of behavior that you don't appreciate. And you should also appreciate you can change those habits. So, but getting specifically to answer your question, there are these four areas of the brain. And to have them function at their best, you cannot be in your engagement of your sympathetic nervous system or this flight fighter fear response. It will have a negative impact, although it's not to say you may not be able to manifest, but you may not be manifesting what you need to manifest. So you have to be engaged in the parasympathetic nervous system, the rest are digest system,
Starting point is 00:21:32 because your cognitive brain networks, of which the default mode network is one, function at their best in that state. So the default mode network is what happens or is activated when you daydream or you mind wonder, but it's very self-referential, but it's also the place where you define who you are. This is critical to have this image that sits in the background of what you want to be or how you want to be. Then the interesting thing is the other network that's really critical here is what we call your salience network.
Starting point is 00:22:09 So from your default mode network, you create a narrative that then activates the salience network. So salience is meaning something mouthwatering or something when you think about it, it activates things you want, right? And so it results in the subconscious being activated related to what you want or your intention or what you're trying to manifest. And once you're able to stimulate that, and I use the example of a bloodhound. Once you're able to give the bloodhound the scent, then this activates the attention network so that there's a laser-like focus of your attention on manifesting that and then through the salience network, the bloodhound starts searching around for it.
Starting point is 00:23:02 And the salience network, if you will, is on alert all the time during your waking state. And once you're able then to define that intention and activate your attention, then the situations that many of us call synchronicity or coincidence occur because then your executive control network, which is in your frontal areas, and has access to memories, experiences,
Starting point is 00:23:32 and in some ways like the CEO who determines how you respond to this unconscious or subconscious desire. And then it occurs. And let me give you a couple examples. I'm sure you've been at different parties or events where it's really noisy. Yet, if your name is said, you turn to it. Even though it's completely loud, nobody else heard it,
Starting point is 00:23:59 you turn to it because that is a fundamental part of your identity. to it because that is a fundamental part of your identity. And so the same is true also as an example. I'll see a patient who may have some sort of brain condition and let's say a meningioma. And the person will sit there and they'll say, you know, I have never heard of that before. Wow. You know, this must be really rare, but I'll see them six weeks later and they'll go, it's the most amazing thing. I've run into six people with the exact same condition, right, because you have embedded that now,
Starting point is 00:24:31 whether you want it to or not, into your subconscious. And this is the things that can get embedded through fear, through wanting to do something positive for yourself. And I'll give you another example. There's a project that I've been working on for several months, and it's very esoteric. And I was at a coffee shop, and it was completely noisy. You couldn't hear anything, yet out of the din of all of that,
Starting point is 00:24:57 I heard two words that were critical to this project, which would not have ever been normally out there or I wouldn't have responded to. I went over, introduced myself, it turns out they're working on the exact same thing and now we're working together on it. And this is the type of synchronicity or coincidences that repeatedly occur when you unleash your subconscious. Because what the subconscious wants the conscious Is ordered to have happen if you will
Starting point is 00:25:35 So those are how those networks work and if you question about the synchronicity, I'm just curious about this Is it the fact that those things always existed around you or potentially did but you were oblivious to them because they weren't embedded and That now that they're embedded you're seeing hearing or feeling those things that were always potentially within your awareness but you were unaware of them or is there some sort of pull power that's taking place that's creating these synchronicities? I would say they're always there we just never are tuned to them. Right? And so, because you have to understand, our mind is always having to struggle to what we attend to, right? Our actual attention is quite limited. Although most people don't believe that.
Starting point is 00:26:19 Even driving along, and I'm sure you've had the experience where you're driving along and you start thinking about something, and then you're like 10 miles down the road and all of the stuff that was going on you can't even remember. Yes. Right? Yes. And so and there's a classic experiment which I think I mentioned in the book called the it's the Grilla experiment or something like that but you'll find in the book but it's amazing it's these two teams are playing basketball. One is in a black uniform, the other is in a white uniform. And what the experimenter asks is either, tell me how many times the people in the black shoot a basket to get a point. Or the other is how many pass the ball throughout the whole thing. So it turns out in the middle of this video,
Starting point is 00:27:07 there is an individual dressed in a gorilla suit who actually walks through the entire game, through the group who are shooting the baskets, and over 50% of people do not even notice it. So crazy. Can you imagine somebody in a gorilla suit right in front of you and you don't even see it? You do talk about that in a lot of people's lives. That's their contact. That's the relationship they need.
Starting point is 00:27:30 That's the key to their success and it's walking by them all the time. But they're so obsessed with these embedded thoughts they've got that their attention network isn't even seeing the things that could deliver to them. So here's the hard question. I got a bunch of them, but How does one I know you talk about it in the book, I don't want to give away all the secrets. However, how does one begin to embed the things they want to manifest in their lives? Obviously, I was taken back in the book by how much it's state oriented for you. In other words, the state that our bodies are in. I've always in in my own practice and coaching people, always just sort of went right to the technique of the visualizations, never really caring for the state that one's in, in order to be open to creating these new neuro pathways in their brain. So could you give us like a practice or a couple of the practices that somebody can begin to implement. I think right now this part that you may share, I think you could change a couple million lives right now with just a process oriented structure for somebody to begin to embed the things that they want as opposed to the ones that they're operating out of trauma or fear in.
Starting point is 00:28:41 trauma or fear in? So let me make a couple statements before we go there. One is, you have to understand, and I mentioned this a little bit earlier, what are you already manifesting? Two is to understand the difference between what you think you want and what you need. And I think actually, as you mentioned earlier, you can get things, but it's not always what's best for you.
Starting point is 00:29:11 And the reason I bring this up is, in the Western narrative of success, which for many people, quote unquote, equals happiness, the narrative is to be happy, you have to have money, power, and position. Once you get those, therefore your life now is fantastic, you'll be happy and you will get all the other stuff that will continue that happiness.
Starting point is 00:29:38 Now the problem with that narrative is that what people don't appreciate is that oftentimes the things that people believe they want are based out of impoverishment of spirit or a belief that when others see them having accomplished this or that or get things that they will get external affirmation that will make them feel happy. And in fact, as a 12 year old with Ruth in this magic shop, she actually had me write down a list of things that I wanted. And of course, from my poverty background, and this was the baggage that I carried with me,
Starting point is 00:30:25 it was I wanted to live in a mansion and 20 or 40 some years ago, 50 years ago, it was I want to be a millionaire. Now it's a centi millionaire, I guess. I wanted a Porsche. I wanted a Rolex watch, all these external validations of quote unquote success. And I ended up getting every one of those things. You know, I became a doctor and I became a doctor not that I didn't want to help people, but it was also I am a doctor. I'm important. See, look at me, right? And I had all of my friends telling me how great my life was, yet here I have a mansion overlooking the Bay and Newport Beach and Southern Cal. I have a villa in Florence.
Starting point is 00:31:11 I have a penthouse in San Francisco. I have a Porsche, a Ferrari, a Range Rover, a Mercedes, a BMW in my garage. I'm dating starlets. I'm flying in private jets. And I was never more miserable than I had ever been in my life. Yet I had manifested everything that I thought I wanted. And so the problem is people get focused on things that aren't going to help them because
Starting point is 00:31:35 they think that these types of things are what are going to create a life of happiness, which is what everyone ultimately desires. And so you have to understand though that once you change your narrative, not because of what you think you want in that sense, because it's not about you. And unfortunately, society has created this narrative that you should chase what I want. I want to be famous. I mean mean look at what we've done with our children. If you ask high school students what is it you want to be? What are the four main things? And this encompasses over 75%. I want
Starting point is 00:32:14 to be an influencer. I want to be a millionaire. I want to be a celebrity. I want to be a professional athlete. I mean... Very different in the Western world compared to the answers you'll get from other countries, that they're a great study between the contrast of those two. Yeah, exactly, because it is a completely different narrative, because we have a very aggressive structure that promotes that narrative of conspicuous consumption, and how if you just get these things, you're going to be happy. So you have to change that, because that activates the sense of I want actually activates your
Starting point is 00:32:49 sympathetic nervous system. And in some ways it limits you. It's not to say you can't get what you want, but once you start changing your narrative to understand how we evolved as a species, which is to care not only for our offspring because they require it, but when you care for others outside of your small circle, that activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which does several things. One, it stimulates your reward centers.
Starting point is 00:33:15 Two, your physiology fundamentally works at its best, and in fact, your longevity is increased. But also when you look through the world, through that lens, you understand the superficiality of many of these other things. And you understand also that when you care for others, it has a very positive effect on you both mentally and physically. And as the Dalai Lama says, if you want to make others be happy, be compassionate. If you want to be happy, be compassionate. So looking at that lens, and so now to more concretely answer your first question, what
Starting point is 00:33:53 are the techniques? The techniques are fundamentally, how do I gain access to my brain to make it work for me and not get lost in things that I don't need are not helpful for me. Now one of the things, and we've been talking about attention a little bit, is also understanding that how we walk in the world, how we analyze things, what we respond to has to do with input from our sensory organs because that connects us to our external environment. So we receive about 10 million bits of information from our sensory organs every second. Yet we on a conscious level only respond or have access to about 50 to 100 bits of information. So 99.999% actually are associated with maintaining homeostasis of our bodily
Starting point is 00:34:57 functions. But the reason I mentioned the small percentage is this is information we can control on a conscious level and then we can actually embed it into our unconscious to a process which I call value tagging. And in some ways, this is our ability, if you will, to place our intention in the filing cabinet of our subconscious, which then gives the unconscious, that bloodhound I mentioned earlier, the ability to look at that file, smell it, get the scent, and start running around trying to help you manifest. The techniques to do that though, to get access to your mind is a training program which is very much like a meditation or mindfulness practice because you have to be in the right mental state. So you have to calm the mind, you have to relax the body,
Starting point is 00:35:59 you have to look through the lens of compassion if you will, because that's when your body, and I say your body, I mean your mind and your body are functioning at their best. When that process occurs, all these cognitive brain networks, which we talked about a little bit earlier, function at their best. I want people to realize that when we talk about manifesting, this process is not 100% guaranteed. It's not like, hey, listen to Jim Doty, now you're going to get 100% I guarantee everything you want. What it does though is one, it makes you understand what you've already been manifesting. Two, it gives you clarity of intention about what you should be manifesting. And this is through relaxing the body,
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Starting point is 00:38:55 What the hell Ed? I told you there's an IQ discrepancy. That's what you're doing here, my brother. I can't wait to hear this. Yeah. I know and I know a lot about this because of your work and other work I've done, but we've not talked about it on the show. So this is going to be interesting. So if we look at oftentimes this term happiness, there's what we call hedonic happiness, which is hedonism, if you will. And this very much relates to what I want.
Starting point is 00:39:25 And in fact, unfortunately, there was a movement in our society that's now spent a few decades where there was this narrative that if you were in a race, any kid who in the race gets an award, right? And not recognizing one, that creates a sense of entitlement, even though you didn't do any work to get there. And it negates the fact of life,
Starting point is 00:39:50 which is there are winners and there are losers. You have to show up, you have to do work. Otherwise, you're not gonna get what you want. And so this is a very, very important aspect. But when you focus on I want, the very nature of that I want has to results in stimulation of your sympathetic nervous system because it's out of fear.
Starting point is 00:40:15 You have to have this to show others you're okay. You're chasing after external affirmation. Now I've said this sometimes and people sit there and go, you mean it's wrong to have materialistic desires? And I say, no, that's not what I'm saying at all. And I'll explain that in a sec. The other side of this is what we call eudaemonic happiness. This has to do with service and meaning. Okay, and if you compare the two, one gives you happinesses, which is transitory and shallow.
Starting point is 00:40:49 The other, and this is when you activate your parasympathetic nervous system, your rest and digest mode, results in purpose and meaning because you're being of service to others. And that's when all your brain networks function at their best, thereby giving you the greatest possibility of manifesting your intention. But getting back to having things, my statement is not to sit there and say, one, it's horrible to have things.
Starting point is 00:41:17 I will assure you, I live in a nice house. I drive a Porsche. I have a Mercedes, there's nothing wrong with that. The difference is where it is wrong is if you look at that, that is your identity, and if you lose it, you have all this fear and anxiety and insecurity versus how I look at it, I won, am very appreciative, have immense gratitude, thoroughly enjoy it, but if it's gone tomorrow, it has zero impact on who I am, who I see myself as, or my level of happiness. And so that's really the key difference.
Starting point is 00:42:00 Can I ask a question about that? Yeah. So let's talk about the money thing for a second. Let's go right to there because there's a lot of people listening to this or watching this right now. Like, well, wait a minute. Like you've said, I would like to make a lot of money. Does that mean that I'll say it my way, then you correct me. That the intention that you attach to the desire to accumulate that money has an awful
Starting point is 00:42:24 lot to do with the probability of you ending up possessing it meaning I want to make 10 I want to have 10 million dollars saved Let's just say that's one of the things I want to manifest But I want that 10 million dollars so that I can show you my Ferrari. I can show you my house You'll think great things about me. That's one person So they've worked on manifesting their 10 million dollars that way another person works on Calming their body getting into that state, and they want to acquire the $10 million so that they can be philanthropic with it so
Starting point is 00:42:50 that they can care for their family, that their children and grandchildren grow up in a safe place and a safe environment and get good educations. Are you suggesting that the intention attached to the desire you have has a lot to do, not only which way I understand the difference in the two levels of happiness, but also in the acquisition or the actual manifestation. Does the intention attached to it have something to do with our ability to then have our attention networks
Starting point is 00:43:18 open to seeing the things we're supposed to see or hear? No, I think you did an excellent explanation. That's exactly right. Okay. And this is in some way some of the examples I give how you have to reframe what it is you want. If you sit there and say, as you gave that example, I need that $10 million so I can have the big house and stand in front of it with my Ferrari parked there.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Everybody looks at me. And this is what influencers do, right? They create this narrative to imply that their life is perfect. You know, they have the filters on, they have all the makeup, they create these, you know, fake backgrounds or are in a place where they rent a place to look at like it's their mansion. And everything is a lie. That's right. Yeah. I mean, you are living a lie. It is not who you are. And you have to pay the price for that because you can't have calmness about yourself because you know, deep down, you're a fraud.
Starting point is 00:44:13 And when you chase these things and it's only about what I want, that's where the problems occur versus if you reframe it. And I give an example of a young lady named Anula in the book. She was an immigrant from Sri Lanka. Her parents very much wanted her to be a doctor, as did she, but her real driver was, I need to do that to make my parents happy. And she had this immense anxiety she created for herself, which actually resulted in her not performing well. And she didn't get into med school after three times. Now, the interesting thing about that is based on my first book, where I talk about my own challenges getting to the
Starting point is 00:45:00 medical school, because I had a 2.53 grade point average while the average grade point average in the medical school was 3.79 and I did not even have enough credits to graduate. And I had as I'm sure you've experienced, quote, friends or family members saying, you're never going to get into medical school, right? Now, fortunately, I don't listen to anybody fundamentally because I have a great belief in myself from what this woman rooftop me. I challenged that and that could be another story,
Starting point is 00:45:36 but I did get into medical school, right? But it was because it wasn't, I'm doing this for somebody. It was a profound belief that by being a doctor, I could be of service, help people do the right thing. It wasn't, I'm going to be a doctor, I'm going to be a neurosurgeon so that I can make a lot of money and live in the big house and meet the attractive chicks. It was, I am here to be of service to help people. That's a completely different narrative
Starting point is 00:46:10 and it's a completely different narrative how your mind responds to have you manifesting. What's the green zone? So in some ways, it's what we're talking about. How do you create, if you will, the physiology that maximizes your ability to have you manifest? And that means when your cognitive brain networks and your peripheral physiology are functioning at their best.
Starting point is 00:46:37 And as we were talking about earlier, being able to, and this is oftentimes through a meditation practice. And let me preface this by making the following statement. I'm sure you're probably familiar with the Blue Zones, this work by Bob Buettner, or the work of the 85 year ongoing Harvard study. Robert Waldinger wrote a book called- The show. Yes, Longevity and Happiness, right?
Starting point is 00:47:06 That's awesome. And the thing is, if you look at that as an example, you go back and look at the Blue Zones, these imitate the way we lived several hundred years ago. And how was that? You were born into a community, small community, you died in that community, you lived with a
Starting point is 00:47:25 multi-generational family, everyone in the community knew you, they knew the good part and the bad part, yet they still loved you unconditionally and worked to make you a better person. So you don't have the narrative going on in your head saying that you're not good enough. And you understand that you deserve love even though you're not perfect. In the modern world that we have created, you are under immense pressure to perform. You have to have a job. You have to live somewhere. You have to have food. And the sad thing is so many people are terrified of being judged by others.
Starting point is 00:48:09 So this creates this constant activation of our sympathetic nervous system. So you have to be able to transition or move from activation of that to activation of your rest and digest system or your parasympathetic nervous system. And one of the best ways to do that is through a meditative practice. Now when I say meditative practice, unfortunately a lot of people go, I can't meditate, I've tried it, I can't sit like this. You don't have to do that to meditate. And in fact, sometimes for type A people, they get into their head where there has to
Starting point is 00:48:44 be the right way to do it. All you have to have is a sense of calmness in a quiet space, be self-reflective, and then go through this exercise of how to relax the body. And you can do it through a breathing exercise, which then will automatically shift you over. And once you're in the rest and digest mode, you're not looking at the world through the lens of insecurity or I need. You're looking through the lens of human connection and oneness.
Starting point is 00:49:17 And this is why this work by Bob Buettner in the Blue Zones or the work of Robert Waldinger and the Harvard Adult Development Study are critically important.... Can we talk about... Okay, go ahead. I want to ask you... No, no, no. The breathing part of it, like what I got out of the book for the breathing part of it, and again, like please correct me when I'm wrong, is that, I mean, it's not complicated. I've learned to meditate over the years and I can't empty my mind and quiet it now, but I very much relate to the people who suggest, look, I'm just type A, I'm wound up, I'm getting going, I'm charged up, like just to sit there and empty my mind, I can do it for about two seconds and then I'm toast. What has worked for me in my life is breathing techniques, and I like what I read in the book that seemed to me very simple. Is the big key in breathing, at least that you suggest in the book, and again talk about this just for a minute, but
Starting point is 00:50:08 is breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. A, am I right about that? B, why does that matter how you do that? But is that what you, is that what you're meaning when you just said the breathing techniques to calm the body? Yes, yes, no, that's exactly right. And that actually has an effect on your vagus nerve. And your vagus nerve rises in your brain stem and is distributed throughout all the organs in your body, especially your heart. It's a two-way street. And the very nature of that exercise,
Starting point is 00:50:42 the diaphragmatic movement, actually shifts you into that mode. Now, there are some people, you don't have to sit with your legs crossed or your hands up like this, you can lay down. Actually, for many people, and it's creating an intention environment where you don't have all these distractions going on. So you're allocating
Starting point is 00:51:06 time to be in a place where you can simply be with yourself. And for many people, simply walking in the forest, walking in nature, lying down in a relaxed environment where you don't feel any threat or demands on you. Those are the real key aspects of being able to activate or stimulate your parasympathetic nervous system. Can I say something about that? It's two things. One is everybody, I want you to take note of that breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. As long as it takes, he suggests in the book until you've sort of entered that calm state. The other thing that I just want to second because it's frustrating to me, with a podcast where I had someone on, we're talking about building muscle and we said oh you know
Starting point is 00:51:49 walking is an exercise and it was out of context we were talking about building muscle. I have to just tell you all that for me when I get into this you know state where I am able to do my visualization my program it's almost always for me when I'm actually walking. It's one of the most beneficial things not only is it exercise clearly but it's also where I find myself in the most calm state. I'm blessed that I can walk along the ocean or walk in a forest or what have you, but for me, as much as important as my breathing is, it's the environment. And one of the things you talk about in the book is being in the same place oftentimes. The cratis space, whether that be when you're on a walk or a particular room you're in, where that space is actually a place that can put you into
Starting point is 00:52:28 a particular state as well, correct? That could just be your living room with the TV off, but the same place repeatedly can also put you into that state, correct? Right, right, because it's creating what, and again, in some ways we're talking about habit formation, which we can talk about in a bit. But when you do that, when you walk into that space or take that walk in nature, whatever, you automatically then go into that state. And that's very, very important. And you don't want to do it where, okay, I'm going to do this.
Starting point is 00:52:58 I just had an argument with my wife. Now I'm going to go and try it because now you've got all the stuff going on in your head. Nor can you do it if you're drunk or whatever. You need to have things in a situation where you're, again, creating the environment where you can create the place for you to connect with yourself. And that's hard for people. It's I think in this world harder and harder because of our phones, because of the digital era, because of how busy we all are, to your point.
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Starting point is 00:53:57 at aeroplan.com slash 40. Rules and conditions apply. And so this idea of habit, maybe it's a general question, but I think if I don't ask it, I think people go, why didn't you ask him this? So habitually, you've used the word visualization and I have my, you know, thing I do where I teach people my version of this in my book and with the people that I work with privately. But you know what I get asked an awful lot? How do I visualize?
Starting point is 00:54:23 What does it mean? I think most people don't realize they're probably already doing it But if someone was to ask you they got a private coaching call with you. They said okay, I want to visualize What does it mean? Can you give me something simple to do that helps me understand my eyes need to be closed am I seeing actual picture? Like what what what does this mean visualization? well, I will tell you that there is a small percentage of people who cannot visualize. And visualization is actually,
Starting point is 00:54:50 and whether you close your eyes or not, the ability to create a picture in your head of what you want. And whether that's seeing yourself in a white coat, being to be a doctor, or whatever it is. And that's a key to it. And you know we talked about the woo-woo and the pseudoscience that's attached to manifestation, but like so many things there is truth fundamentally in some of
Starting point is 00:55:15 these things. You just need to separate out the woo-woo and the pseudoscience. So this is about creating habit because if you will, what fires together, and this is how we lay down neural pathways and how we strengthen them through repetition. And thus, we talked about And thus, we talked about the data we get in from all of our sensory organs, right? Well in some ways, we want to strengthen that vision or that intention. Well, how do you do that? You use every one of your sensory organs, pretty much, to overlap each other repeatedly to lay down that intention into your subconscious to create these neural pathways. So what are they? You make your list. It could be one thing, it could be 10 things. You
Starting point is 00:56:13 think about it, you write it down, you read it silently, you read it aloud. In your mind, you see yourself as that let's say being a doctor and what happens is usually when you start you don't have a clear picture it may be sort of this dull picture you're looking through a window that is maybe foggy but the more you repeat it that window gets clear and clear until you actually see yourself as the doctor you you're wearing a white coat, you're in a hospital, and so you're strengthening those neural pathways, which then allows the activation of your subconscious and the salience mode network and the attention network now to focus on that goal or desire? Question about that. So first off, I love the multiple sources, write it down, see it, et cetera. I'm curious about the emotional part of it.
Starting point is 00:57:14 I was able in my life to acquire wealth, and I can tell you that when I was young, I did want a Lamborghini or a big house, but it's- Me too. Yeah. Well, it's not all that uncommon and a great thing. And I'm a capitalist through and through having said that a lot of times that wealth comes and goes the wealth that stuck for me is when my visualizations in my case and helped me understand whether this is just something in my case or there's some relevance to this became a bit more emotional.
Starting point is 00:57:39 In other words, the emotional charge was higher, meaning my intent shifted where my picture started to be me seeing myself wealthy enough that I could pay off my mom and dad's house. And I remember being able to visualize my eyes are closed when I'm doing it now, but I remember visualizing and seeing my dad being very, my dad, I actually played out where my dad wouldn't accept it at first. And then my dad finally thanking me and the pride that my dad had in other words I didn't just have it one way. I saw it from multiple different perspectives But I found that in my own case. I feel like I really changed my brain when I attached emotion to it Is there validity to that? Well, I think it's not so much
Starting point is 00:58:20 Well, obviously you did attach motion to it, but it's not just the emotion. You were doing it through the right lens. How can I care for others? How can I be of service? And when you do that correctly, there is nothing more profound than helping somebody. Now in your case, it was your father. But imagine you're saying, one of the reasons we talked about this earlier,
Starting point is 00:58:44 I want $10 million because I grew up in this place You're saying, you know, one of the reasons we talked about this earlier, you know, I want $10 million because, you know, I grew up in this place and there was a lot of poverty and poor children. You know, I want to create a homeless shelter where I feed, you know, people and I help children. Right. Well, what is better than that as a human being? Right.
Starting point is 00:59:02 And this is what people forget. Listen, I love driving a Lamborghini or a Ferrari, although I don't know how tall you are, but Lamborghinis are really tight for me. I don't have that problem. I'm okay. I don't have one anymore. I don't have the desire anymore to have something like that, but I know what you mean. Yeah, but my point is that you don't get that type of stuff from driving a Ferrari or having a Porsche or whatever.
Starting point is 00:59:28 You enjoy it, it's wonderful, but that's not the it anymore, especially as you grow up and you realize that those things are just empty things. They can't give you that emotion, which all of us want. It's like having somebody who loves you. When you connect with somebody, when somebody holds you,. It's like having somebody who loves you. When you connect with somebody, when somebody holds you, when you give love to somebody, that is deeply emotional.
Starting point is 00:59:50 That's where we're meant to live. That's how we were designed as human beings. So when you do actions that allow for you to do that, you get this incredible feedback. And again, as I said, the Dalai L Lama says if you want to help others and make them happy be compassionate if you want that be compassionate you uh by the way everybody in the book I just want you all know this and you have to get the book to get all this but there's actually a six step process in the book so I can just tell you the steps are um reclaim your power to focus your mind step two two is clarify what you truly want. Step three is remove the obstacles in your mind. Step four is embed the intention in your subconscious. Step five is pursue your goal passionately. Step
Starting point is 01:00:33 six is release expectations and open to magic. I wanted to ask you about step six because this is something that I really debated in my own mind and with people that I coach for a very long time. And that's this notion of being very goal-oriented, yet releasing from outcome. Releasing from expectations. It's one of the most nuanced areas of manifestation of producing the life you want. That's even debated in my own mind, in my own work sometimes, right? So there's this idea, we better have goals, we've got to write them down, we've got to visualize them, we've got to see them, yet there's an unbelievable power in surrendering from the expectation or the outcome at the same
Starting point is 01:01:15 time. Can you discuss that? Because I think this is one of the most interesting parts of manifesting, because sometimes I think the goal and the expectation creates the pressure and the anxiety and the fear of what are people going to think about me if I miss it and then someone never ends up achieving because they're so goal obsessed. Does that make sense? No, no, I look, your insights are right on. I mean, this is the problem is that there's nothing wrong with having goals. The reality though is none of us in our lives are able to achieve all of those goals and we're going to fail. Now I try never to use that word.
Starting point is 01:01:52 I simply look at it as that was an interesting experience. Yes, and I learned something. But here's the problem. There's the one group which you saw or group or person which you mentioned, which is absolute complete 100% focus to the exclusion of everything else. Then you get to the top of the mountain and you're by yourself. And so you have external affirmation from people saying how great you are, but as we talked about earlier,
Starting point is 01:02:26 that and five bucks will get you a cup of coffee. You're there alone. And then what you sacrifice to get there in terms of the carnage many people leave behind, it could be divorces, it could be not having relationships with your children, it could be separating from people you've grown up with or loved you. What type of a goal or what have you really accomplished there? And frankly, you've accomplished nothing. The other side of it though, and we're talking about some of the nuance here, if we look at the two extremes of our lives, all of our lives, and one is being able to accomplish these goals. Nothing is better to have accomplished
Starting point is 01:03:15 a goal. You feel, I worked hard, I deserve this, I sacrificed not everything, but you sacrificed, you had to get up at six in the morning, you had to go do this, you had to do that. That is a great feeling, but the challenge is that it is transitory. If you chase these feelings all the time, you have attachment to these goals, then that's going to ultimately lead to unhappiness because you can't be in that state all the time. Conversely, what are the things that people avoid? They avoid pain and suffering. Well, the reality is you cannot avoid pain and suffering.
Starting point is 01:03:56 But like the other aspect of it, that's transitory. But what people forget is, do you learn the greatest lessons in life about who you are, what is within you, the strengths that you have from being over here? You learn them from the other side, when you are suffering, when you have to overcome something, when you sort of get perspective about who you are and what it is within you that allows you to achieve.
Starting point is 01:04:23 So there's this aspect though, that I would say is this idea of evenness of temperament, where you appreciate these other great things that can happen to you, you're not attached to them, you enjoy them while they're there, but if they don't happen, you don't beat yourself up, you did the best you could. Conversely, when there's something
Starting point is 01:04:43 that's not so wonderful happening, you also though realize it's transitory and that with time, what we thought was the most horrible thing that we ever went through, we now reflect on it after a period of time is having to go, you know, I'm really glad that happened. I learned so much about myself, right? And so having what we call equanimity or this evenness of temperament is a critical aspect because what we're trying to do here is one, emotionally regulate too, which is critical. And this, you know, we're talking about
Starting point is 01:05:22 the power of your mind. How you respond to things is your choice. There is not somebody out in the universe who decides how you respond. The stoic Epictetus, who was a slave, he basically said, I cannot control my external circumstance. I can only control how I react to them. The other aspect is a narrative or a quote that is attributed to Viktor Frankl. Have you read Viktor Frankl's work? Yeah, Man's Search for Meaning. And the reason I say attributed to, there's a quote about between stimulus and response, there is a pause, and within that pause lies your freedom. It turns out
Starting point is 01:06:06 that Wayne Dyer actually gave that quote, and he attributed it to Franco, but no one has ever been able to find that in the writings of Franco. But regardless, the point of that though is that that's true. And so we have to take a pause, and then we actively make a choice how we respond. As an example, I'm sure you've been cut off in traffic by somebody, right? Now, I'm sure women never do this, but what a man does is usually they use a hand gesture and maybe use a one or two word expletive. And because you've been activated, right? Your sympathetic nervous system has been activated. You're angry, you're responding to that moment.
Starting point is 01:06:50 But if I said to you, instead of thinking that this guy's a jerk and is selfish and just trying to screw you, if I said to you, the person driving the car, sitting next to his wife, who's eight months pregnant, her water's broken, she's bleeding. He's tried to get her to the hospital. How do you change? What are you thinking now? You're going, oh my God, geez, what a jerk I was to do this. This person's trying to get his wife
Starting point is 01:07:18 to the hospital. I would do the exact same thing. Yet here we did in one microsecond between you and I, we changed how we looked at the world. Brother, I love your work. I have to tell you that I'm a big believer and you prove this stuff scientifically that when you attach a different meaning to an event you create a different emotion, you have a different life. And so oftentimes everybody, one of the things that he's saying to you here, right, is listen, sometimes you have to go, what would I need to believe about this so that it served me? When an event like that takes place. The other thing I have to tell you brother, I've heard two people use the
Starting point is 01:07:51 word equanimity ever on my show and it's you and I have a whole chapter of my book with the title of equanimity and I have to just acknowledge, you know, how much I really love your work. I I'll ask you the last question just because we've run out of time. By the way, I would love to have you back on. Let's do it. I truly would. These are the kind of conversations that I really enjoy having to share with to my audience. And so the last question is kind of a two-parter. Number one, someone's listening this and they're going, this is great. I need to go to work on this. I'm gonna create new
Starting point is 01:08:22 neural pathways. Currently though, I have a bunch of thoughts that don't serve me. I want you to just discuss your overall viewpoint of what thoughts are in our heads and then if you could back up with okay, so this is what thoughts are really going on in your mind, what a thought is. And then lastly, in addition to that, a practice we haven't covered yet to help somebody begin that transition of change and just something other than the relaxing of the body, the visualization stuff, just some other tool you pull out of this vast kit you share in the book that could serve somebody that they could take with them today before we leave. Well, people believe that the thoughts they have going on in their head are independent, have just come to them, and that they're purpose-driven. And the reality is that, as I was saying earlier, all of us carry baggage from our childhoods. And that baggage oftentimes gives us a narrative in how we respond in the world. As an example, and this may seem somewhat obtuse,
Starting point is 01:09:31 but let's say you're on a diet. Well, if you drive by In-N-Out Burger or someplace like this, and you said, I'm on this diet, I'm not gonna do any of this stuff, and you have eaten In-N-Out Burger and you absolutely love it. You drive by the restaurant, you smell it, you suddenly turn in and you're going, what the fuck just happened? I just had this In-N-Out Burger, I've been on a diet, right?
Starting point is 01:09:59 And this is like thoughts in some ways. You think they come from you and they have some relevance. Oftentimes they have nothing to do with you. As an example, if you have a negative interaction with somebody and then you go meet your wife, the conversation oftentimes you're having with your wife has nothing to do with your wife. It has to do with the fact that you were irritated by this other conversation and similarly to being distracted by the smell of this burger. But my point is that you have to be able to
Starting point is 01:10:31 understand that one, we are reactive, two, we have this negativity bias. And I think one way to change your thoughts is to be self-compassionate. And what I mean by this is to give yourself positive affirmations so that you're decreasing the sound of this negative dialogue and diminishing how often these things affect you. And you have to understand, and this is a challenge for a lot of people, all of us carry shame or have a shadow where there are parts of us we're embarrassed about, things we've done, things we hope no one ever finds out about us, and we're terrified of that. And then we try to create all these narratives to cover that. The most important thing we have as a human being is to be authentic, care
Starting point is 01:11:27 for others, and open your heart. And what I mean by that is so many of us fear that we're going to be judged by somebody else. But have you ever heard of this concept called Kent Sugi? K-I-N-T-S-U-G-I. I have not. So Kintsugi is from Japan and it was something that was developed in the 15th and 16th century. So pottery used to be very expensive and if it broke people, and usually royalty had it or wealthy people, it would be repaired to hide the fact that it was broken. But later that broken pottery was repaired with a golden glue. And the metaphor of this is you're no longer hiding the cracks that each of us have, the phalates, but you're otteried them. You see, all of us have, the failings, but you're ordering them.
Starting point is 01:12:27 You see, all of us have had these types of struggles. All of us have made mistakes. All of us have been broken. We've had to come back together, but there's nothing to hide about your brokenness. You sit there and you hold it and you acknowledge it and you accept it and you're not afraid, you're not trying to hide it. And this comes together with another Japanese aesthetic, which is this idea of what is called wabi-sabi, W-A-B-I-S-A-B-I. And this is understanding the nature of our existence. It is imperfect, impermanent, and always incomplete.
Starting point is 01:13:08 So you have to be able to one, accept yourself as you are and realize that even with all the things that may have happened or all these negative things that you believe about yourself, they're simply thoughts that you have created and regardless you deserve to be loved, you deserve to be cared, you deserve to be hugged, you are perfectly imperfect and it's okay. What a remarkable conversation today. I'm so grateful. I didn't think I'd have a neurosurgeon, a neuroscientist come on my show and finish with talking about that you deserve to be hugged. But I'm really grateful that he did. You're a wonderful man.
Starting point is 01:13:55 You're brilliant, but I really believe your big heart and your kindness and your generosity exceeds even the big brain that you've got. And I enjoyed today so much. Thank you, Dr. Doty, very, very much for today. Well, Ed, I hope we have a chance to speak again. Actually, I would love to not just chat here, but actually to get to know you a little better
Starting point is 01:14:17 if you have any time at some point. I would love that. I'm going to have them give you my contact number. But I was thinking, I'd like to do the next one in person. We'll have a cigar here in the saloon and chop it up in person next time. I would love that. Okay my friend. Okay everybody, make sure you go get Mind Magic, Dr. Doty's book right now, The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything.
Starting point is 01:14:37 I think you got a sense today that it's worthy of your time and hopefully you'll share today's podcast everybody. God bless. Max out. This is the Ed Myland show.

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