THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Protect Your Purpose - W/ Jay Shetty

Episode Date: September 8, 2020

The happiness you are seeking is ALREADY inside you. You just have to know where to look. This man truly needs no introduction. With over 34 Million followers and 7 BILLION YouTube views, this bestselling author, podcast host, purpose coach, and former monk is FINALLY here and I am truly honored to bring Jay Shetty to the Ed Mylett Show! We all have a desire to experience more happiness and more success in our lives and this interview will open your eyes to all of the power and purpose that already lives inside you. Your life will be transformed by this powerful conversation and I can honestly say this is one of THE BEST and MOST TRANSFORMATIONAL episodes of all time. Jay Shetty is dropping gems on how to navigate these unprecedented times and find CALM IN THE CHAOS. You’ll learn how his teachings as a monk guided him to be able to create peace and calm from within, REGARDLESS of the circumstances that surrounded him. We get REAL about the difference between believing you can be anything you want in life VS being GREAT at EVERYTHING you ALREADY ARE… and the difference between your TRUE CALLING and the dreams we’ve fabricated by playing the comparison game. Jay even reveals the morning routine that ANYONE ANYWHERE can do that will prepare you and protect you from the battles life will throw at you. From being able to identify your TRUE purpose in life, to unleashing the hidden greatness within you, the energy from this interview can be felt by anyone who watches or listens to it. If you are looking for the pathway to happiness and fulfillment, you MUST watch/listen!

This is the Admire Show. Welcome back to Max out everybody. I am so excited to have this gentleman to my left here today. I've been chasing him for a long time and he probably doesn't need an introduction if you're watching this on YouTube because I know so many of you know him, but if you don't know who he is, let me just give you some background on this man. Number one, this person's had seven billion views on their YouTube channel, seven billion views.

They, he said 34 million people following him on social media, which is just absolutely remarkable. And 300, he had one video on Facebook that had 360 million views. Number one viewed video on all of Facebook in 2018. And I'm so excited to share with you that he's written this new book called Think Like A Monk. Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day. I read this book in two days.

So of all the accolades that this man has, the most impressive thing isn't even what I just shared with you. It's that my mom has a massive crush on you. No, I'm not kidding. So mom, I've embarrassed you to millions of people, but my mom's crush is here today. Jay Shetty. Thank you so much, man. I'm so grateful for this. Honestly, just walking into your home today and experiencing your energy firsthand.

Thank you. Like, you feel the power of your energy on social media. I feel it when I'm following you, but I feel the presence right now. So I just wanna say thank you, honestly. Thank you, bro. I just feel like a big hug this morning. It's the world to me and I've told you, I was just literally telling you before we went on

that there's nobody on social media who grabs me like you do. Thank you, man. I really appreciate that. And I told you why and I should tell them, it's the convergence of I think your visual, your auditory, your look and your voice, but mainly

just the depth of your message is so special. This is not a person who posts content that you're going to scroll through. This is somebody when he posts something, it affects you, his videos move you, and this book moved me. Thank you. And I, usually if a guest is on, I'm very excited about their book, but in this case, I'm highlighting everywhere. And I think, let's start somewhere.

There's 11 sort of points in the book that you go through. But I think in this time and this day and age, with all the kind of current events that are happening in the world, one of the things you talked about in there is ways to find calm in the chaos. Could you talk a little bit about that? Yeah, absolutely. I think we're just living in uncertain times. We're living in chaos, as you just said it.

We're living in times where we're constantly surprised by what's going to happen next. And it's not a good surprise, like it's not like a birthday surprise, it's a negative surprise sometimes. And I think what's happened is that we've started to recognize, and I really trust the people listening and watching right now, we've started to realize that the answer is not going to come from outside of us.

We can't just keep waiting for suddenly the stock market to be perfectly aligned. We can't keep waiting for the political climate or the environment to be perfectly aligned. What we need to do is find in more importantly, not just find but create that peace and that calm within us. And that's why I talk about thinking like a monk, because when you look at the brains of monks across the world, they have the calmest, happiest brains on planet Earth. And I want to give people access to how to have that, because when you start getting access to that, now you don't need the weather to be perfect. Now you don't need to wait for everyone to give you love every single day.

Now you're not dependent on anything outside of you, but you recognize that you can create calm. You're not going to look for calm. And so that's the perspective that I want people to do. It's beautiful. I was reading in the book where you're talking about these monks, they actually measure their gamma waves, even at sleep, and they are higher than everybody else.

And everybody else. And so you tapped into this, ironically, you graduate from college. They just need to know the background on this, as I understand it anyway. It kind of in your family, you say. It's sort of like you're a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure, right? Yeah, there's my three ups and a half. And you end up graduating, but before you graduate, at graduation, you go away and go live with the monks, right?

You literally, how did you make this decision? And what overall would you say was the impact that happened to you while you did that? Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, a bit of background. I grew up a teacher's pet until the age of 14. So I was an obedient kid, probably like the perfect son, worked really hard at school.

And then at 14, I went the opposite way. I started rebelling. I started experimenting with everything under the sun. And at 18 I was at this interesting point. I think everyone is, if you think back to being 18 and everyone is listening and watching, think about being 18 years old again, and how impressionable you were

and what kind of decisions you were making, I used to go and listen to CEOs, entrepreneurs, experts, celebrity speak. And once I was invited to hear a monk speak, and I thought to myself, what am I going to learn from a monk? Like there's was invited to hear a monk speak and I thought to myself what am I going to learn from a monk? Like there's nothing to learn from a monk like what's he going to teach me? How to be silent?

Like who cares? And I said to my friends I would only go if we went to a bar afterwards. Like that was my like I was like I want to invite him. Okay that describes where you really were. Literally that describes where I was genuinely at. I'm not making this up and I end up going and this is what I love about that moment. The best moments in your life are sometimes the most humbling ones. True. I was humbled because I went into the environment expecting to get nothing and having my life transformed. So when I ended up happening is I felt and you've

probably felt this when you when you meet people. When I was 18, I'd met people who are beautiful, I'd met people who are powerful, I'd met people who are rich, I'd met people who are famous, I'd met people who are successful, but I don't think I'd met anyone who is truly happy. And even now, if I asked you to count on your hand, how many people you know that a truly content

satisfied and happy, I think we'd struggle. Absolutely. And I felt that from him at 18. And the great thing is, I know him now. I've known him for the last 14 years. This particular monk, his name is Gorangadhar, I talk about him in the book. He's still the same. And so he has maintained that. And so I started getting fascinated with him. So I spent every summer vacation with him from age 18 to age 22, every summer vacation. I would spend half of it, interning at big finance companies,

steak houses, bars, fancy suits, and I'd spend the other half living as a monk in India. That's remarkable. Robes sleeping on the floor and meditating. My God. And then when I graduated, I decided that the monk path was more fulfilling than the banking path.

And so I chose it. What a remarkable young life. It was my first experiment. You know, it's like you're literally testing it, and I never judged myself, and that's what I love about being able to live life in that way. I didn't judge myself when I was at the monastery.

I wasn't like, oh no, I was just drinking last week. I can't do this. And then when I was out there with the guys, I wasn't like, oh no, I should be meditating. I was just like, let me really experience each life to its fullest. Wow. And then I can decide which one really fills me with joy. It's amazing.

You're talking to most because just this week I was on a show they said, what topic would you like to cover above any of the left that opened to me? And I said, I think I should be happiness because it's so rare for most people in the world there. People have asked me on the show. When I started the show, I was fascinated because your your shows had 54 million downloads the first year, right? And people say, what do the people that you interview have in common? There's some of my best friends, some of your best friends are on your show. And I thought, well, I wonder what I do it is, they're

going to be their drive, their ingenuity, their charisma, their work ethic, their brilliance, and many of them have all of those qualities. But I think you would agree with me that even top performers that we work with, some of them have a touch of not so happy going on in their life. Even the people that you think have their whole world together, they too see capiness. And I'll be honest with you,

because I'm such a fan of yours, I thought, well, almost like what you thought. What do I have to learn from you about happiness from the monk perspective? I didn't think the same. And as I started to read the book, first there were many revelations for me. Secondly, there were some things in the book that I think I do practice pretty well, but the way you phrase it and position it is beautiful as is your norm.

So one of the things you say early in the book, we talk about selfless sacrifice. And there's this great quote that I'll mess up in there that one of the monks had shared with you about that in the shade that you don't want to sit in plant the tree, right? Yeah, yeah, so it's, yeah, the statement. This was the statement that, when I'm sitting in that room as an 18-year-old thinking about going to a bar,

this was that statement that penetrated my heart and I was like, oh, because so, he was making the point that if you have any gifts and if you have any talents in the world, if you're not using them in the service of others, then worth nothing. And that's a very bold point and the way he put it and he was quoting another writer and he wrote that, plant trees under whose shade you do not plan to sit. And what that means is most of us plant trees or we do things for people

because we're expecting that one day they're gonna reciprocate and do something back for us. And he was like real service is when you do things for people that can't do anything back for you at that time and you're not expecting anything. And for me, for my 18 year old mine, I was like, oh, I thought my skills were just to impress women and make money and just do whatever one else does.

And when he was doing that selfless sacrifice and service, I was like, I wanna test that. Because either this man is a genius, or he's completely crazy. But if he's given up and he went to IIT, so he went to the Indian Institute of Technology, one of the best universities in the world. He was like a number one student and he gave that all up to be a monk.

So I was like, there's something there because you don't just give that up, especially in India, the pressure to perform and to be a top grade student is so high that to walk away from that, like his family and everyone would have just completely. So I was like, I want to follow that path. Wow. Bro, I'm fascinated by you because as now that I'm in your presence, everyone should know that Jane, I've communicated for a very long time. We have tons of mech friends, but we have a rare on the show that I'm in the presence of somebody. And I feel your energy.

Thanks, man. I think I had this impression that someone who's sort of monk related is just sort of just, there's this feeling I get that's just, it strong piece but it's strong too there's an energy about you and one of the things that I think that you eventually overcame that you talk about beautifully in the book and I see every day people ask me often there's all these memes out there we all hear hey you know whatever one's opinion about you is none of your business but people really struggle with finding a pathway to happiness because they are borderline obsessed with the thoughts and opinions of other people and you

discussed that a little bit too. How would you tell someone who's struggling with this which is 99% of the people who are listening to this? How they might deal with that or overcome it? Yeah, I give this analogy in the book about how we're all like method actors. So I'm a big movie fan, like I'm a big movie fan. And so for me, some of my favorite actors are like Heath Ledger who played the Joker in the Dark Knight. You've got Daniel Day Lewis, who's an incredible method actor. Now I talk about in the book how Daniel Day Lewis, at some points, he was wearing the clothes

for gangs of New York in his normal life. To the point that he even got pneumonia in his normal life because he's wearing these old raggedy clothes and he goes at one point he almost went crazy pretending to be someone that he wasn't. Now when I heard that and I read that I thought wow isn't that all of us? Like you wear a certain role to work, you wear a certain role at home, you wear a certain role with your friends and in playing all those roles you end up method acting and forgetting who you are Oh my goodness. That is beautiful. And and for me that's what I'm just seeing across the an inn and of myself Me too. And I see myself do that. I become you become who you think are the people want you to be

And so for me the first step in that is writing down everything you're chasing right now Like this is a great strategy and a tool. If anyone's listening or watching, get a pen and paper. If you're not, take a screenshot of this time code right now and come back to this because I want you to sit down and I want you to write down everything you're chasing right now, whatever it is. Make that list.

Second question, where did that idea come from? Did that idea come from your mom, your dad, your friend, your brother, did that idea come from me, or, hey, did that idea come from, I don't know some book that you your brother, did the idea come from me or Ed? Did the idea come from, I don't know, some book that you read. Like did the idea come from your heart and your mind? Or was it born because it was influenced by your friend who just got promoted? Your friend who just got proposed to.

Your friend who just sold their company for $100 million. Like is that, was that the reason? Because then that may not be your dream. And then the third question you have to ask yourself is, is this my dream? Or this is the question, is your dream really your dream? And when you go through that exercise, you want to keep the stuff that's yours, and you want to distance yourself from the stuff that's not. What incredible advice.

You know, I'm a little, bro, I got to tell you, there's such wisdom for such a young man. I'm a little bit further down the road, age-wise. And wisdom wise, and wisdom wise. I'm excited to learn from you a lot, man. Certainly not, but I appreciate you saying that. I mean it. I can validate what you've just said. I think dream-catching in your life

can become something that gains more momentum as you vibrate a little bit higher frequency. You can be gonna do a track things and I'm a big believer in that. And I have many times achieved a dream or two that when I got there was completely empty. And every time that I got to those dreams and they were empty, they were not my dreams. They were something that I thought someone else wanted me to do or something that I saw someone else have that I thought I wanted a place, a destination, a home, something,

and you're a hundred percent right. But the times when I've got clear on things that I really wanted, that really mattered to me. And when they were good enough that they materialized in my life, what great joy they've brought me. And they're usually extremely simple things, as you illustrate as well. I love hearing you say that. It's nice to get validated on that because I think you've achieved so much in your life, and it's incredible to see what you've achieved. And I think that's what people forget is that the things that you bring you joy in because you achieved what you wanted to achieve. Let's talk about that for a minute.

You talk about Dharma a little bit. How do you figure that part out in your life? Yeah, so Dharma is a fascinating concept. Absolutely. Love it. And the loose language terminology for it is purpose or calling or your mission and vision in life. Like, what are you meant to do? It's kind of like what you're meant to do. And the thing about Dharma is, Dharma talks about how

we think we have to learn lots of stuff. When actually, Dharma is unlearning and bringing out what you already have. So one of the things I mentioned in the book is that you can't be anything, there's two lies we've been told growing up. The first lie is you're nothing, you're stupid, you're worthless, you're not going to make it. And I'm sure many people listening and watching have heard that from teachers, parents, aunts, uncles, whoever it is. And then the other lie that we're actually told, I don't think it's a lie, I think it's positive, but sometimes it's misconstrued, is you can be anything. And we all know that's

not true too. And it's unfair because sometimes people get misled. You're exactly right. And the Dharma point of view is you can't be anything you want, but you can be everything you are. And what I mean by that is you have a genius, a potential, a power inside of you that you don't know yet why because you're inexperienced. It's not that you're unqualified, it's your inexperienced. So people are saying, I'm stuck. I don't know where my life's going. I don't know why it purposes. So you're perceiving yourself to be unqualified or underqualified. Actually, you're just inexperienced. You just haven't done enough things to let the magnet of your life tell you what it's attracted to. So for me, that's what

Dharma is encouraging people to do. And this is beautiful verse from this Vedic text, a monk text called the Manu Smiti. and it says that when you protect your purpose, your purpose protects you. And what I love about that, and you will appreciate this because I know you're someone that I feel is living this, a purpose is like a rare gem, and you have to protect it. People will tell you that gem is worthless. They'll tell you that that gem is not going to make it. They'll tell you that that gem that jewel has no value. And that's why you have to protect your own purpose. Because the world is going to constantly try and pull you away from it. So, Dharma is a, it's not a belief system. It's a fact that you've got skills, genius, potential, it's sitting inside of you and you've

not seen it yet. And I've seen this across the board. I literally just got a call from the, seen it yet. And I've seen this across the board. I literally just got a call from the, I got a call from the CEO of Instagram probably about three to six months ago. It's been a while now. And she called me up and she said, Jay, we just had, I don't think I've told this story anyway. So you've sparked the album, but she goes, we've just had this talk from this speaker that we brought in. And this speaker spent years in a refugee camp. And in this refugee camp, not only did he figure out how to survive, he actually got his mother to save up for a computer, and he coded a game. He taught himself how to code, and he coded a game that helps people understand how not to be violent

in a refugee camp. Gosh. And then he used Facebook to promote it. My gosh. And they said, we were so inspired by him that we brought him in to speak to Instagram and Facebook. And then we asked him the question, we asked him, what has had the impact on you?

Like, what kept you inspired? And this guy goes, he goes, I used to watch this guy called Jay Shetty on Facebook. And literally when she told me that, and she said literally the whole audience was in tears at his story. And I said to her, I said, I need to talk to him right away

because I need to tell him, I'm like, dude, you've just inspired me. Like my, like, I'm like, dude, your life is way harder than mine's ever been. And if you can realize that you have the potential in a refugee camp to teach yourself how to code and to help people not be violent, I mean, you're inspiring more lives,

his name's Lual Mayan. I'm like, dude, you're inspiring so many more lives than I ever, like, it's just beautiful. And to me, that story, I'm not sharing it to show my role in his life. I'm sharing it because I'm like, if he can find a way to find his Dharma, then we haven't got any excuses. Brother, that's, it's funny. Right before you told the story about him, I was going to

tell you that it's so obvious to me that you're in your home and that's perfect evidence of it. It's so obvious to me as I sit next to you. The book, guys, I want you to get this book, it has my full endorsement. And the reason it does, first off, is because this man that you're hearing these incredible words from, wrote it. But it's a unique book because it talks about these principles that are eternally true. But there's also like what I would call fundamental strategy. I was going to say basic, but it's not basic. It's fundamental strategies. I was surprised in a book that talks so much about happiness that you get as granular as a morning routine,

which I'm a huge believer of, and I think sometimes, but you do it differently. And so I only gonna go through a few things in book because we want them to read the book. Just so you know guys, we're at 1% less than 1% of the book so far. You're very good. But it's true.

So talk a little bit just tactically for a second about importance of it and the way that you perceive a morning routine. Yeah. So the beautiful thing about monk life is half the day is self and half the day is service. That's how you're taught to live. So the morning hours for you to fill yourself,

it's almost like putting on mental, emotional, and physical armor. Like that's what a morning routine is. Our days are tiring, our days are busy, our days are draining. Well guess what, if you didn't put your armor on in the morning and you're going out to battle, how many knives are going to cut you? How many swords are going to pierce you? How many wounds are you going to come home with? How many of you come back home feeling wounded? I come back home feeling wounded? I come back home feeling wounded sometimes, but guess what?

If you put your armor on in the morning, a warrior would never go out onto a battlefield, and life can be a battlefield, work can be full of conflict sometimes. Your relationships can be damaging sometimes, your friendships can be toxic sometimes, so we are warriors in one sense. And so without wearing that. So for me, a morning routine is putting on emotional armor, which is meant to protect you for the rest of the day, and that way, even if you do get pissed or you do get popped or you do get caught, you're protected. And I know that when I'm morning routine is at its best, I feel protected. Whereas when my morning routine is weakened, I feel weak. And so for me, the morning routine, as I get strategic about it, there's two principles you have to know.

Location has energy and time has memory. If you do something in the same place every day, that place now holds that energy. And this is huge, like it's just so big, and I place now holds that energy. And this is huge, like it's just so big and I'm grateful for that reaction because people don't realize how powerful this is, like when I've meditated in temples that were 5,000 years old in South India,

it was easier to meditate because people have been meditating there for thousands of years. Oh, it's so big. And so when you find a space in your home and even if you've got, like, I lived in a 500 square foot apartment in New York four years ago, and I just had a tiny corner which I dedicated to my sacred practices.

So if you, you don't have to have a big home to do this, you don't have to be wealthy to do this, you can find just a corner in your home that you dedicate as your meditation space or your reflection space. So first thing, location has energy. Second thing, time has memory. And this is something that people underestimate.

When you do something at the same time every day, you remember it and time remembers it. That's why we struggle to work out at different times every day. It's why we struggle. Like, why do we feel hungry at the same time every day? Generally, we feel hungry at the same time. Most people, if you've got regulated diet,

you will feel hungry. You will feel tired at the same time every day. You will look towards that Coke can, or that sugar, or that chocolate bar at the same time every day. And so when you're meditating at the same time, if you're exercising at the same time. So what I recommend to people is

your morning routine needs four aspects, and it's simple, and at the same time. So what I recommend to people is your morning routine needs four aspects and it's simple and I call it time. It's about making time in the day. So time stands for T-I-M-E. T stands for thankfulness. There needs to be, even if it's five minutes, five minutes of thankfulness, of gratitude, every single morning, and that has to be gratitude that's specific. It can't be gratitude that's generic.

So generic gratitude is something that anyone could be grateful for. Oh, I'm grateful for the sky. I'm grateful for air. I'm grateful for water. That's cool, but it's generic gratitude. Specific gratitude is I'm grateful for the fact that I have someone calling me this morning. I'm grateful for the fact that I can still call my parents. I'm grateful for the fact that I have this person in my business who is having such an impact. I'm grateful, you know, it's specific. Specificity. Yeah, so thankfulness. Second one is insight. I think this is one thing that a lot of people are missing, which I recommend people listening to you. It's like podcasts, books, and make it easier for yourself. If you get this book, leave it open on your bedside

table. Leave it open on your kitchen table. Leave it open on your dining table. I guarantee you, you will read more and what you read will speak to you. And I think people underestimate that. But literally, like when you have it, and you'll just flick to a chapter randomly, and you pick up one line, it will impact you, and it'll speak to you. So insight, you need insight every day. M is meditation, and I believe meditation's different for different people.

As monks, we did walking meditations. We did beach meditations. We did visualizations. We did breath work. Find your meditation practice. I give a ton in the book. And fourth, obviously, exercise, which you can speak to even more than I can

I exercise to keep fit you look amazing to the but it's a exercise everyone needs to find Five minutes a day 15 minutes a day of exercise that can just get the moving and guess what if you like sport play sport with a friend If you want to shoot hoops go and shoot hoops You don't have to sit on a treadmill. No one's telling you to do that. Make it fun and playful. Brother, I've been in personal development and business entrepreneur space for a long time. Those are two gigantic revelations that I've never heard before.

I'm telling you that for me in the book, right? I'm reading it and I literally stopped the book and I brought both my kids in. And we talked about this idea of that space having an energy to it. And I wanna validate it because I just think you're incredible. I just, everybody, it's why I want you to get the book and it's why if you're not, you must be following Jay

on these different platforms, not just one either. You need to be on his YouTube, you need to be on his Instagram, his Facebook. But I was, I'm sure this was with you because I'm sure he's a hero of yours. When I was very young, well, when I was younger, actually about your age, ironically. I'm running on the beach in Hawaii and it's early in the morning, so I did my morning runs speaking about exercise.

And passing me by on the beach was this man I saw him from a distance. Anyway, he gets by me and he starts to go the other way and it was Wayne Dyer. Oh, wow. Right. A lot of people listen, it's probably don't know. Oh, Wayne Dyer's, you should check. I mean, you can't, he's not alive, but you should listen to this probably don't know. Oh, Wayne does. You should check. I mean, he's not alive, but you should check out Wayne

does work, his books, his unbelievable. He's one of the Godfathers of, I mean, he was somebody that's really made an impact. I end up getting a chance to this long story short, sitting on the beach with him for about an hour as the sun comes up, talking about life. You talk about just the two of us, right? However, one of the principles he taught me that day,

and you articulate it quite frankly, more beautifully and more specifically than even he did, but I want to validate it again because these are things that you're not getting on any other podcast, what Jay and I are talking about right now. And he asked me, he said, are you going to write a book and do you prepare speeches? I said, I do. And he says, one of the things I do is I have lots of the greatest books in the world surround me when I write because these books have that time and energy in them. And he believed that it gave him the great wisdom of all of these people when he just surrounded himself in that familiar space. So for you to now put this in your book about a morning routine

is remarkable because I was just a passing thought that's really written nowhere. So Thank God for you. And he just sparked actually Phil Knight, shoe dog, you know, Nike. It's like, he talks about how he actually has a room where he keeps his books like a library, but he takes his shoes off when he enters that room because of the wisdom and the weight and the energy and the gravitas he believes books hold. And so even as monks, we would never wear shoes around books because it was considered shoes of dirty and you wear them outdoors and books are so pure that you don't want to take dirt into that space and supposedly, Phil Knight, he does the same thing

and I was like, Phil Knight's thinking like a monk. Yeah, he's thinking like a monk. But it's just so interesting what you're saying about like, books holding energy. We believe that books are sacred. You don't kick books. You don't keep books on the floor because they have knowledge and they meant to raise you up.

Wow, wow, wow. There's so much in there. I want to go through a couple more things. I wanted to have the book, but I'm so fascinated by you. I got a couple of personal things on it. That's true, but one of the things you say in the book, I've said this before, and again, I just like the way you approach it with more depth

than I've covered it before. I just said this this week to somebody, they're thinking like I was crazy and I talked about, I said, some of your low self-esteem and your lack of confidence is actually an ego issue that you have. And the person stared back at me like,

how in the world is someone with low confidence or low self-esteem struggling from an ego issue? And I don't know that I articulated it well enough, although it's in one of the podcasts that I've released, one of my solo podcasts, but you articulated right on. So talk about that for a second. Yeah, so it's an interesting concept

and it's talked about in the Bhagavad Gita, another monk text. And in the book, it talks about how like, ego is demonstrated in two ways. So ego is either, I am the best in the world, and I think I'm better than everyone. Or ego says, I am the best in the world and I think I'm better than everyone. Or ego says you're the worst in the world. You're the worst than everyone. You're you're much worse than everyone. Or you say my life is the

best and the greatest. My life is the worst, right? My life is far worse than anyone else. So the ego likes to push you to the extreme. It doesn't like to give you balance and honesty and reality. It likes to, it wants to make you feel like you've got the worst life in the world and no one else understands it. No one gets that. Only you get in, you get the worst, or you're the best and no one else gets you. You're untouchable. And people miss that. They're like, how does that make sense? Exactly like you said. But it does make sense because the ego wants to be the top or the bottom, but the top of the bottom. It doesn't just want to be at the bottom, it wants me at the bottom. Yeah, it's going to be the bottom of the bottom, but the top of the bottom.

Very well said. And so we get lost in that and we don't think of it as ego. And that's why the only antidote to either ego is self honesty, is being honest and honesty is, I'm good at these things, I'm great at these things and I suck at these things, right? No, that's honesty. And we could all sit down, me and you, could sit down with a list of our skills and map out what we were great at, what we were average at, and what we knew we were terrible at. And that's honestly, that keeps you so away from either ego.

Do you think part of it too is that when you're suffering from my life is the worst, that you're focusing on you and you're centering on you and there's an ego connection to that too, and that this pathway you talked about earlier about getting into the service of other people, removes you from you, which begins to remove the ego? Absolutely, I mean, that's a huge point you just made right there. Like you just dropped some serious, like, there's like a, you know, please don't underestimate that point everyone is listening. Like the challenge with all self-centeredness is that all you then

indulge yourself in is your own pain. Well, there you go. Right? You just indulge, you just submerge in like, immerse yourself in pain because it's all about you. Yeah. And you know, I think Gandhi said it best is that you find yourself, when you lose yourself in the service of others. And what I love about that statement is that what he means by that is, and empaths get this mixed up sometimes.

So I want to clarify because a lot of people who are empaths who are listening are like, Jay, I'm always trying to help people, but then I get screwed over. So here's the answer. You're not helping people so that they can thank you. You're not helping people so that they can be grateful to you. You're helping people because you know it's the right thing to do, but more importantly,

you're helping people because you get to understand and experiment and experience different parts of yourself. When I helped kids growing up in India that were, that didn't have food and we were giving them free food, I learned so much about myself. When I was able to go and give talks that help people or now I make videos or podcasts, you learn more about yourself when you help people. You don't learn anything about yourself when you're just sitting there filling out a quiz going, who am I? Like you don't figure it, but you learn about yourself when you help people.

And this is what we don't realize. I can't remember who said it recently. It was someone saying about Jeff Bezos, but they were saying that, you know, the scale at which you succeed is the depth of the problem you solve. And so even if you look at someone like Jeff Bezos who's extremely successful,

he's successful because he solved a problem that many people have. Bill Gates is successful because he solved a problem. So, even if you look at monetary success, even if you look at financial success, it comes from service. Any success comes from service. A musician is famous because they're serving. They're serving you by understanding your feelings, making music, you now are full-comforted, so you follow them, they have served you. So don't think of services just charity and giving money, which are beautiful things which we all should do, but don't just limit your life to thinking, I serve on the weekends, or I serve once a year. You can serve every month, this podcast is a serve.

No question, right? It's your service, because you're serving people by giving them an alternative to just watching some trash show. But they're actually here learning from you and learning from the people that you bring on the show. I've watched you to that point, this is a personal thing, because I'm such a believer that you move the needle

in the world that you can help change consciousness. I'm in my little way, because in my small way, I would love to think I'm a, like in that ocean that you see out there, like I'm in my little way because in my small way, I would love to think I'm in that ocean that you see out there like a drop of water and altering the consciousness of the world. Just a scotch, not me, but who I can share with people and my own messages.

And I believe you're one of those people. And so I will tell you, as I've watched this meteoric rise of yours, I've actually privately, a few times yours. I've actually privately a few times Not every day, but a few times. I've actually prayed for you that you that you would keep this level of humility And so this is an interesting thing I wanted to ask you, but it will serve everybody else There is this balance isn't there of wanting this book to do well Right, you don't want to sell two copies. You want it to do very well. When you put a video out, there's probably a, there's got to be a little part of you that's like, how well did it do?

And I think that line right there, I'm not even sure if you were, I know the answer entirely, but do you struggle with that balance of, I'm doing this in the service of people, yet I'm sensitive to the response of what I'm doing. Because I think someone listening to this right now who's gonna have a sales presentation tomorrow. They wanna be in the service of that person, but there's this part of them that isn't that balance we've talked about earlier about,

what's the response going to be? How am I going to be received? I want people to like me. I want to do it. How do you navigate that? That's a great question, man. That's huge. And let's take that sales person.

The more time that person spends in empathy, their customers' pain and what the customers really looking for, the better they're going to be received. So that service mindset always helps because if you're thinking about, and this is what what it comes and I said this to my team when we were writing the book and everything I was working I said if I sit here right now and all I'm thinking about while I'm writing the book is being a best-selling book then guess what I'm now not writing the book I'm now living in the future and I'm not living in the present and And so the only way to make this the best-selling book is to do the process properly. And I don't think, and this is what I do, and this is the only thing that's helping me. And again, I go through it all the time. After my first

video went viral three, four years ago, I stopped creating because of the pressure that I wouldn't be able to live up to it. So I actually got scared because I was like, oh well, what if the next video doesn't do as well, everyone's gonna think I'm tanking. Like you get into that self-down and I got into that space where I was just like, yeah, no, really, like genuinely, I didn't wanna make a video again

because I was like, this video just got 40 million views, like how am I ever gonna beat that, right? And you get scared. How's that, I'm not putting anything out, I'm just gonna stop. And then I started to realize I was like, now I'm not living in service anymore. I'm not putting anything out. I'm just going to stop. And then I started to realize I was like, well, now I'm not living in service anymore. I'm living out of ego and I'm living for feeling a certain way. And guess what? I'm not feeling

better by not putting anything out. And actually, if I just serve more, learn more. So the way I've made sense of it, and there's a verse in the key to that explains it too, is that you have full control over the preparation, the process, and the practice, but you have no control over the potential result. But all of those three things are the result in and of themselves. And so if you get addicted to the process of writing, the practice of connecting with the right people

who can help share your work. And like you said, I am focused on the process of making sure that the most people in the world have the opportunity to buy this book. But then if they choose not to buy it, I can't control that. But I can control making sure that it's in front of everyone and that I believe in the context. And that to me is not attachment, that to me is not eager. That to me is trying attachment, that to me is not eager, that to me is trying to live your best life. I mean, like, you know, if you didn't just try, if you're like,

I wrote this book, but who cares? Yes. I mean, that's not service either. Because the way I explain it, and I'm not claiming that this is it, and I'm not trying to say, I'm here, I'm trying to say that, I think we all feel this way. If you or me see an amazing movie, we wanna tell everyone about it. If you read an amazing book, you wanna tell everyone about it. If you found the cure to cancer, you tell everyone about it.

For me, I got to live an incredible life thanks to these amazing teachers I met. I just wanna tell everyone about it. Like that's all I'm doing. But I wanna tell everyone, because of how powerful it was. Brother, that's the best description I've ever heard of. There's this line.

I've always tried to teach of, you want to have outcomes, but yet you need to separate from them. And that's a difficult thing when people are trying to achieve different things. That was perfectly stated, absolutely being addicted to the process of it, but actually separating from what you can't control. I absolutely love it.

I'm just curious. I've got a couple more questions. Tell us something about being a monk and living with him that would surprise us. Okay, good. We're something about that. So we had, that's a good question. So we had snoring and non snoring room.

So they try and be compassionate, right? So I'm a non snorer. I don't snore when I sleep and my wife agrees now to. She validates that. Yeah, so I'm in the non-snorah room, but the snoring room, we would always joke around with the snores because we'd always joke about how they all sound like different motorcycles.

So we'd be like, oh, that guy's like a Harley Davidson and that guy's like, what? See this? Yeah, yeah, monk say this. This is human and we're playful. And you know, it's almost like monk life kind of makes you more childlike not childish but childlike because you start seeing things for what they truly are and you don't get caught up in stuff so you can laugh at each other you can mess around another thing is we had

these sacred sweets or sacred items that are prepared and and offered and everyone gets to share them and you don't eat a little sugar as monks and you don't eat sweet stuff. But these kind of natural sweetened items came out like once a week and some monks would wrestle over them. Like you know, like basically like grapple. Oh, but who's going to get that? So these are the behind the scenes. I love that it humanizes.

Yeah, it's not like monks. It's a normal people and let's be honest, like most people have the monks their whole lives. So it's not like, yeah, great point. Yeah, it's like I became a monk when I was 22, and I'm not now, my friends, some of them became monks at 22, some of them became monks at 30. Like, it's not like, there are monks that become monks

at five, that does exist. But the majority of people now are not doing that. They may even have more time in their life, not one than they were one. Exactly, exactly. And so for me, yeah, I'm glad you asked me that question because, yeah, like, monks are tumorous, they're funny, that like, my teacher's are hilarious. If I'm with them, I'll just laugh the whole time.

Really? Yeah, because they just see that, and I'd love to introduce you to one of my teachers who travels here a lot. I would love that. I'd love to introduce you to him, actually. He's around 70 years old, and I've been a monk for 40 years. And he grew up in Chicago. So he's an American man, but he lives in India. He's been among for free.

He's unbelievable, but he is hilarious. Oh my goodness. And anytime I'm with him, I don't stop laughing. Well, present people are more joyous in and of itself, right? 100%, yeah, exactly. You are. You're not dealing with that, you're not dealing with the baggage of the past or the anxiety of the future.

So when you are present, you can just laugh, you can be joyous and be entertained. Joy the bliss of the moment. Dude, I wanna keep going, so I just wanna one more thing, let's give them one more gift, because you're a treasure, bro. And I want you to know that I want you and I to spend some more time together.

I would love, I've been after meeting you today, I knew already, but after meeting you today, you have your energy in person, surpasses all expectations. Which is very, I mean that. The people listening is going, boy, can these guys calm down each other? I know, stop the bromance, yes.

I just saw his wife popped out earlier, you know? So I'm very too. He's very too. So, okay, so someone would pay a lot of money to do this, but I'm going to let them do it for free for a second. Someone says, I'm watching this and I really have this energy about me after listening to this or watching this and I want to change my life. And maybe I don't have super high self esteem right now and potentially I lack a little

bit of direction. Or maybe I know what I want to do, but I don't know that I have the confidence to get there. If you just wanna turn my life around, I wanna have some of these emotions that it seems as if you experience on a pretty regular basis. What advice or counsel, just in general, would you give somebody who wants to live a better life?

Yeah, so one of my biggest things, first of all, would be that we do this wrong because we do either or we do them in the wrong order. So in life there are two aspects that impact everything. I was thinking and our actions. And I read a quote the other day that was saying that the mistake we make is that we either act without thinking or we think without acting. And I think that's where most people are. If you're feeling stuck or you're like,'m not sure what I'm doing right now you're either doing too much thinking or you're doing too much acting. So you're just doing a lot of stuff

but you don't know why you're doing it or you're just sitting there procrastinating every day and you're doing it. So I'd say it's both. So the first thing I would say to you is take a moment and speak to three different people. Speak to a family member, a friend, and a colleague, and ask them this one question, what strengths do I have? What do you think is my superpower? What skills do you think I bring?

Emotional, strong, soft, hard, whatever it is? Do that first, get that sense check. Second thing, for the next month, take off every weekend eight days, because there's eight Saturdays and Sundays all together in a month, take off every weekend eight days, because there's eight Saturdays and Sundays all together in a month, and book a different course workshop seminar online offline. Go to an event, shadow a friend, go and spend time with an aunt uncle who's doing the career you want, go and have eight new experiences. And after each of them sit with yourself and ask yourself,

did I like that? Yes or no? Whether you like to ask yourself, why did I like it or why did I not like it? And then ask yourself, would I like to do it again? And if the answer is yes, yes, yes, yes, guess what? Go do it again. And if the answer is no, no, no, don't do it again, leave it out. But if you've had eight, and this is the problem, we do that over a year. We do that over eight years.

And that's why life feels slow, and boring, and lethargic, and stuck. But it just, in the next eight days in a week and just test eight new things, and you'll have just a great experiment. And the worst thing that will happen is, you'll find eight things that you don't like. But I guarantee you that even if you have a sense of that reflection in the beginning, and what I don't get why we don't do this enough is, wow, we do it with food and movies all the time.

Like you just, Ed is such a kind man, like I got here, it's slightly late because of traffic and then he let me eat my lunch because I wanted to be full of energy. I need to find out where that place is because it's local to hear my team got it ordered for me. It was amazing. Good. And it's like, you know when you eat something, whether you like it or not. You know when you watch a movie, whether you like it or not. You know when you read a book, whether you like it or not.

But why don't we ask ourselves after meeting people, completing projects, or going to places? Most of us keep meeting people that take our energy. Most of us keep going to places that drain us of our energy. And most of us keep going to places that drain us of our energy. And most of us keep working on projects that just disturb our energy. All you have to do is ask yourself, does this bring me alive? Why does it bring me alive? Really important to know

why it works and do I want to do it again? Deep insight there that brother what he described right there everyone is like the ultimate pattern interrupt. he's saying is you're gonna do this over eight years or 10 years if you can just do this in the next eight weekends or the next four weekends eight days what a massive pattern interrupt okay listen every single person who's watching this or listening this wants more of you if they aren't already where do they find you number one yeah absolutely come and find me on Instagram at Jay Shetty come and find me on Instagram, at J. Shetty, come and find me on the podcast on purpose.

But if you've heard my videos, if you've listened to my podcast, and they've had any impact at all, like genuinely, I mean, if it's even had like a tiny bit of impact on you, my genuine proposal is read the book, because it's the next level, I get to break it down, and I get to go into the stories, the studies, and the strategies that really make all of this livable and practical. And they can get it everywhere.

And you can get it everywhere, all across the world. We've got 36 languages coming out on this year. I'm so proud of you and so grateful for you and so happy for you. Thank you, man. I'm genuinely, this is so much fun. Yeah. I can't wait for lots more offline conversations. It flew by, didn't it?

If I, I mean, like, I don't know how long we've been talking for this, this is great. I wish we could go another hour, but bro, I want to thank you. Thank you so much, man. I'm just, I'm grateful. No, I'm very grateful to have you here. Okay, everybody, I told you'd be great. You all told me it would be, and it exceeded my expectations.

So please go get the book and follow Jay on his social media, YouTube everywhere, and keep doing it with me as well. On Instagram, as you know, every day I run the max out two-minute drill. When I make a post, I take the first two minutes because I want to interact with you. It's why I do it. So if you're following me and you have your notifications on, if you make a comment in the first two minutes, you're involved in a daily drawing. If you miss the first two minutes, you can also qualify by replying to other people's comments. And also, if you just make a comment every day, we add up to people at the end of the week,

my great team, and we pick winners who just comment at any time every day. You can win coaching with me, 15 minutes with one of my guests. Take us a see me speak, max out gear, my book. You know, sometimes people write on the jet with me. It's just cool stuff. We surprise you for engaging with me, and I want to encourage you to do that. And if you've enjoyed today's program, please share it with people that you care about and that you believe in.

God bless you and max out. you