THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Reprogram Your Mind to Create Your Desired future! Feat. Dave Meltzer

Episode Date: June 15, 2024

Reprogram Your Mind for Success with this FLASHBACK MASHUP episode featuring insights from David Meltzer, Dr Joe Dispenza, Jamie Kern Lima and Me! Dive deep with us this week as we explore transformative strategies to help you rewire your thoughts and supercharge your path to personal and professional success. Here’s what you’ll discover: Master your mindset and learn techniques to convert obstacles into opportunities and dreams into realities Uncover the strategies to programming your subconscious mind to align with your greatest ambitions, making success not just a goal but an inevitable outcome Gain insights into raising your emotional intelligence  Learn how to implement sustainable Success Habits that maintain mental clarity and focus, driving continuous growth By the end of this episode, you’ll be equipped with the tools to start reprogramming your mind to align with your  highest aspirations.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Well, if you are, I want to recommend a place for you to go called Growthday. Growthday.com forward slash ed. It is the number one personal development app on the planet. It's got all kinds of high performance techniques in there, courses, accountability, journaling, live speeches from some of the top influencers in the world, including me. It's an overall environment to change your life. Growthday.com forward slash Ed.

This is the Admire It show. You end up doing really well right out of college, right? This is the Admire It show. You end up doing really well right out of college, right? At a law school. At a law school. So you went to Tulane Law School. Yes, sir. And you graduate there and within nine months, tell them what happens to you.

So I want you all to hear the ups and downs of real life business and real life from one of the most successful people in the country. So what happens at a law school? So out of law school, I have two choices for jobs. And it's a recession. One was to be a real lawyer, oil and gas litigator, big money, all I wanted to do was be rich, is why I went to law school.

And then the second was to work in the internet. And I got offered a job to sell legal research online by West Publishing, big, big legal publisher. And so I go to my mom, because you'll appreciate this, I go to my mom, hey, what should I do, mom? My big advisor, you know, I grew up with a single mom, six kids, and she, without blinking, is like, you need to be a real lawyer,

because this internet thing is a fad. So she calls the internet a fad, and I always say, because I like to teach lessons, biggest lesson of my life was just because somebody loves you doesn't mean they give you good advice. And I see so many people, entrepreneurs, in relationships, they ask for advice for people that don't know anything. My mom's a second grade teacher. What does she know about technology? Beautiful soul but not a technology expert. No, and if I would have followed, I think

slowed down or at least not allowed me to have the acceleration I had. So I took the technology job, single, money hungry, in a sales job in the internet, and I made a fortune nine months into it. I had three goals when I went to law school. If I could only pay back my law loans, buy my mama a home, and buy my mama a car. So mom, even though she gave you the advice the other way, was the driving force behind most of the beginning of it. Oh, I choke up still.

I got mommy issues. And I was so proud of myself because I still had a little bit left over. You do? Oh, you'll see. But I bought myself a big screen TV. That was the thing you did for you. At nine months.

And I saved every penny. I had a $25 per diem. I bought peanut butter and jelly to take on the road with me so I can get the extra $175 a week. As you're accumulating a million dollars in savings over that time. Did you save a million bucks the first time? Oh I saved more. I saved almost every penny because the company I traveled so much, I got a car, house, everything they paid for. I was in hotel rooms. I had corporate suites in Indiana. And so it was a perfect job for me

because it was a full expense account. My laundry was paid for, my food, and I still, I wore, for three years, embarrassing enough, I wore the same pair of socks, not because I couldn't afford new ones, but I, somehow in my sports mind, I thought they were lucky. You're lucky socks.

And I was like in the East Coast and my shoe had a hole in the bottom and the sock. And I finally, and I was a very wealthy young man and I have more than a million dollars. And I'm wearing holes in my socks and shoes in the snow. That's true. I think I, by the way, had the hole in the shoe thing going. I did the same thing, I saved every dollar.

Mine didn't replace my shoes, not because they were lucky. I was being cheap. I was trying to save everybody. But I gotta tell you, this is a lesson one just to start the interview. There's more dreams stolen from people who love you than by people who don't love you. Just the advice we take or the people that talk us out of it. Because we take advice from people we love in areas where they're not competent, right? Exactly.

I had to take advice from your mom on how to love somebody. That'd be great advice, right? Or how to teach. Or how to motivate a young man, right? So be very careful just because you love them or they love you of thinking they have some expertise in an area that you don't, right? They probably don't. And so oftentimes we take advice from the wrong person derails our dreams.

So that's lesson one. One more thing too, we end up resenting them, which is worse. So all the people that love us most, we end up resenting them because they gave us bad advice. And meanwhile, we should be accountable because we asked a second grade teacher for internet advice. That's the worst part. That's really true. So what happens after that?

You do really well, so you become more than a millionaire, a multi-millionaire early in life. Branded myself in technology, which I thought was a brave maneuver because I was so insecure about people knowing I was still a lawyer. My mom made me take the bar, for example. She didn't think the internet was going to last.

So I took the bar, I passed it, and I kept the ESQ on my business cards all the time. And people were like, oh, you're a lawyer? And I still had this ego. Meanwhile, I was making so much more than all my lawyer friends. And so I had to let that go. And one of the biggest transitions was the first time I found my own frequency. I started branding myself as an internet guru. So we ended up selling West Publishing for 3.4 billion dollars to Thomson Reuters. And I was smart enough at that time, I

heavily branded myself as the guy in the internet. So they paid me a ton to stay on. I had some stock and so I stayed on to Thomson Reuters. How old are you right about that? 27. That's incredible. Yeah, so I was the youngest executive at Thomson Reuters. Then the internet boom really happened. We got into the late, mid to late 90s now. And the internet boom happens. Accenture, which was Anderson Consulting, did our merger. So they hired me to run a Silicon Valley as a director for EveryPath, a wireless proxy server company transcoding internet onto WAP phones. And now I just became a Silicon Valley kid in my 20s but I really was hungry to learn how the money worked. So I was the front guy. I'd go into HP

Ventures, Amerindio, Texas Pacific Group, Sequoia, and I build these relationships. I'm real good at quickly getting to somebody. You connect, you connect. And I learned that money side of it. And getting those relationships was really key because Samsung wanted to get in the phone division. And they ended up, it was chic to have a young CEO.

And I was good at raising money. And they put me in this position. We had the world's first smartphone. Oh my gosh. Yeah, are you catching this everybody is involved in the world's smart I'm like Forrest Gump of business. I'm Well, you manifested a lot of this stuff, right? I mean, that's unreal consciously unbelievable. Did you have the Did you have this energy then or so? I know you're you say you're a little more ego driven than though, right? Yeah, so I had a very high energy, you know, just born that way. I didn't sleep a lot, hyperactive, but I was always in my own way.

What was told to me was I carried an energy of being stupid. Now, I need to explain that to people that you can think and say and do certain things and believe certain things, but if you carry an energy that's different, it doesn't matter what you're trying to manifest. And let me give you an example. There's a lot of people that date the same person again and again and again, or they have the same business problem again and again and again. Yeah. Same obstacles. No matter what they do, you seem to, why, why is this always happening to me? It's because you carry an energy. I agree with that. So what I

analyzed and you know I went to India and kind of learned this stuff about myself, is number one, my siblings were all hyper-intelligent students. They all went to the Ivy Leagues. So I kind of had a chip on my shoulder that I didn't go to Harvard, Penn, or Columbia. My siblings were much more academic. So I had that going.

Then when I was little, I was hyper, and they were good students. My grandma, who my mom was a teacher, would take us after school, was this wise old kind of Yoda type of character. Yeah. And she would always say to me, I go, grandma I'm bored. I don't want to study. Yeah. She goes, only stupid people get bored. Smart people think things to do. Well this changed my cellular memory. That's right. My neural pathways and into my code. That's

right. My DNA. So my energy shifted. What did that mean though? That means I projected my insecurity about being stupid. Yes. Maybe an ego driven guy, yes, who then surrounded himself with the wrong people. Yeah. I used to be the smart, I made sure I was the smartest guy in the room. Yeah. Now if I'm the smartest guy in the room, I'm in the wrong room. You're in the wrong room. So I'm curious, because I 100% agree with all of that. You said you were a really money-motivated young, right? Was that because you grew up with none of it? I'm just curious, would you grow up poor, or how'd you grow up?

You're gonna make me cry, man. Okay. So I grew up with a single mom and six kids, five boys and a girl. So your mother raised six kids, most of which go to the Ivy League, and the other one turns out to be you. All went to the Ivy League.

And then you turn out to be this unbelievable business story. But we all got out to be this unbelievable business story. We all got scholarships to college. Unreal. Yeah, she was an amazing catalyst. But from the time I remember my parents got divorced, I grew up happy though. My mom created this great happy environment, but when I wasn't happy, it's because I'd catch her, I'm going to choke up.

But the car break down, I see her crying. Like obviously, or the dishwasher would break, or we couldn't go to summer camp. I remember one time I really wanted to go to baseball camp, and I leave, and I turn around and say something, and I saw my mom crying. So I said to myself, oh, if I could be rich, I could buy my mom a house, buy my mom a car,

give her enough money so that she has all these options, then she would be happy. Wow. And 40 something years later, it still impacts you right now, brother. Yeah. I work through that all the time. That's amazing, man.

Yeah. That's, wow. And it hurt me too, because I created this weird relationship with my mom when I had a lot of money, because I felt so responsible for her. And I enabled my own mom. Okay, I can see that.

You know, I bought her house, I bought her a car. And constantly our relationship became about what she could do for you. What you could do for her rather. Yeah, and we shifted that, but it's an extraordinary thing. I have some energy healers and things that I know. Yeah. So cool people, but I go,

someone should come up with their business, some of these energy healers, and just say, I specialize in mommy issues. So you end up becoming part of the first flipping smartphone on top of the first business venture. So then how do you end up going from all of that into, you get into the real estate business, you get into, somehow you end up in the sports agent business or marketing business too, right? Yeah.

So I've always believed in overlap or vertebrae approach to life. You have the legs feed the lion, so make sure what you do well and you make your money at that you take care of, and then see what else you can do vertebraing off from that. So real estate was something because I had extra cash. Okay. And I came up with this philosophy of buying one property a year, 15-year mortgages. After 15 years, in the 16th year, I'd refinance it tax-free for about 200 grand each. Yep. So I'd always, you know, so I was so young, by the time I was 40 I was guaranteed 200 grand or more tax-free. Can I just interject? Yeah. I

almost did the identical thing. It's like our generation, it was on all the infomercials, so that's what I learned to do, right? That was the whole process. So keep going, but I did the same exact thing. Well, what happened was I was so successful at real estate, even when I was working in technology and you know at Samsung that my properties you know here in California shot up. Right. So I started learning about refinancing and leveraging. Yeah here we go. So I was leveraging into some really cool, I had a ski mountain, put 12 million into a golf course and it ended up being we got Samsung needed to design it. Ended up being the number one new course, eighth best in the nation. With the real estate development all around it too, right?

Yeah, 2500 acres. Right. That was crazy. That's awesome. Well, anyway, by the time Samsung outgrew me, I used to tell people, my ego, I used to say, I semi-retired, I left. No, they kicked my ass out.

I clearly, now that I'm old enough, remember, hey man, you've outkicked your coverage, here's some money and leave. I do have one more piece of advice. If anyone ever pays you to leave, take the money and leave. It's a lot easier. Someone's going to pay you to leave, it's been some kicking you out with no money. That's 100% right.

I agree with that. And so I dabbled in some stocks and technology, but I took a lot of my time. And I was on this road, I had so much money. I was married, I married my childhood sweetheart. And I had three daughters, young girls, we lived in Manchester, Santa Fe. Beautiful area by the way, beautiful area. Great place.

And I started to self-loathe. We built that house, I remember the first night I lied there, you may have this feeling, I just, I'm sensing it. When you build something like this, I lied there in the bed, coming from nothing, and for the first time in my life I wasn't happy. I was empty. And I started buying stuff.

About 10 minutes before you got here today, isn't this unbelievable, my guys? About 10 minutes before you got here today, I just want you to know this, I had this exact conversation with my camera crew and my audio partners, this exact conversation. So yes, it's true. It's weird, right?

And then I started buying things that didn't make me happy. More things, different things that make me happy. And then I surrounded myself with really wrong people. I started going to places I shouldn't go. I was drinking too much, dabbling in other things I shouldn't be doing. And my wife caught it immediately. She said, you're not paying attention.

And we had a lot of money. And my attitude, arrogance was, she was spiritual. She did all kinds of meditation and readings. I was like, what do you know? I made all this. Literally, what are you complaining about? I'm a Ferrari in a Porsche in the garage. You have a live-in nanny, and you don't work.

Right. Right? You should see what my poor mom would do, right? Right. A few years ago. You could go there too, yep. But sure enough, she came to me. I overheard her, actually. She could see things dissipate. She said, I'm scared to her uncle, who knew me since I was 10, said, man, I don't think this is gonna last. And I'm terrified. And he said, I loved it.

He goes, you know, everything always goes that kid's way. He goes, I can't wait to see what happens with his back against the wall. Really? Yeah. And my wife approached me, said she wasn't happy, told me to take stock in who I was and what I wanted to become. I adored her since I was in the fourth grade.

I spent one night thinking about it. And the hardest part for people to understand is when you have a lot of money, you don't go bankrupt and lose it spent one night thinking about it and the hardest part for people to understand is when you have a lot of money you don't go bankrupt and lose it in one night. It took two years. So for me, the hardest part was I changed before I started or actually lost everything. I was starting to change. I was in a lawsuit, my ego was in my way, but it was too late and the hardest part was when I actually went bankrupt in 2009. Okay, you went BK. BK.

Okay. My bad behavior started in 2007. Okay. In BK in 2009, I had already met Lee Steinberg, I was running the most notable sports agency, I was meditating every day. Okay, you had your act together. Yeah, I had my act together.

But the weird thing was in that two years, my wife would get more and more scared because I was giving control to the universe. Yeah had my act together. But the weird thing was in that two years my wife would get more and more scared because I was given control to the universe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Right here. She was very spiritual. Yeah, but I tested. You went to the extreme. Oh yeah. From not being that way at all prior, right? At all and I was in control and I think it gave her some security that I always was on top of everything. I was in control. Yeah. And I'd answer her, she goes, what are you gonna do? I go, it'll unravel. You just knew.

Yeah. You just knew. If you listen to this show for a while, you've heard me and my guests talk a lot about how critical it is to have your wellness goals in order, especially lately with me. So you know how powerful visualization is. When you visualize yourself one, 10, 30 years from now,

you've achieved all your goals. Ask yourself this, am I healthy at that point? In your visions, of course you are, but like anything else, without a plan to get and remain healthy, you can't hit the goal. That's why I'm so thrilled to be partnering with LifeForce. It's co-founded by my good friend Tony Robbins and Peter Diamanis. LifeForce is a leader in proactive care. The LifeForce membership includes everything you need to understand your wellness and help you make good decisions today to keep you on track in the future for your health. Listeners on my show get $250 when they first sign up for their membership by going to mylifeforce.com slash ed. That's mylifeforce.com slash ed. Take control of your wellness with Life Force and see what the healthiest version of you actually looks like and

is capable of. These products and statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So you know I get asked a lot what are some of the common practices or behaviors of the successful people that have been on your show. I got to tell you most of them have been to therapy and they've told me therapy has made a big difference in their life. It's made a big difference in my life and so whether you've got like a real traumatic thing you want to work through

in your life that you've not resolved yet, or maybe just got an emotion you like to get rid of or improve, maybe it's none of that. Maybe you just got kind of something you want to talk through a problem you want to work through. If you've been considering doing therapy, I think you should take a look at BetterHelp. BetterHelp is done entirely online. And what I love about it is they match you with a licensed therapist. If you don't click with the therapist, you can switch at

any given time to a therapist that meets your needs that you kind of click and vibe with. Take a moment and visit betterhelp.com slash ed show. Right now to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash ed show. If you listen to this show for a while, you've heard me and my guests talk a lot about how critical it is to have your wellness goals in order, especially lately with me. So you know how powerful visualization is. When you visualize yourself one, 10, 30 years from now, you've achieved all your goals. Ask yourself this, am I healthy at that point?

In your visions, of course you are, but like anything else, without a plan to get and remain healthy, you can't hit the goal. That's why I'm so thrilled to be partnering with LifeForce. It's co-founded by my good friend Tony Robbins and Peter Diamanis. LifeForce is a leader in proactive care. The LifeForce membership includes everything you need to understand your wellness and help you make good decisions today to keep you on track in the future for your health. Listeners on my show get $250 when they first sign up for their membership by going to my lifeforce.com.

slash Ed, that's my lifeforce.com slash Ed, take control of your wellness with life force and see what the healthiest version of you actually looks like and is capable of these products and statements have not been evaluated by the food and drug administration. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. eBay motors is here for the ride. Remember when you first saw the potential?

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ride or die alive at eBayMotors.com. Eligible items only, exclusions apply. See eBay Motors. Today's question involves winning and I've been asked, Ed, can you please give us one of the invisible keys to winning that separates the winners from the losers in any endeavor? And so I'm going to do that today. You know there's a million keys to winning but one of the things, I want to take the mystery out of it for you. First thing is I'm always a little bit concerned, it's trepidatious for me to talk about winning and losing because I know how small the difference

between winning and losing is. It's almost too scary to talk about, it's really true. I've watched people get very close to winning and it's that one little thing they miss, that invisible thing that separates the winners from the losers. It truly is a game of inches and millimeters when it comes to winning in business,

winning in sports, winning in life, winning in our body, winning in our emotions. It's the small things I found. And I think most people want to believe that there's all of these secrets to winning because as long as it's secretive and they don't do it, then they've got an excuse as to why they haven't won. But what if the truth is there really aren't any secrets.

There just really aren't that we all sort of really know what we need to do to win. But what it comes down to that little thing, that separator that's too scary to talk about is our willingness to do those things and the consistency with which we do them. Here's what I found. The people that are average and ordinary and most endeavors in life Do the things they need to do occasionally and the people that win and dominate do them every day They just do it more consistently. They do the things that the average do once in a while

They do all the time and that's the separator. It's not you can't do something when you feel like it You can't do things on the days that you feel great. The separator isn't who's more motivated. Right? Motivation is important, inspiration is important, but the truth is it's what do you do on the days that you are not motivated, that you are not inspired. Do you have the habits and rituals and disciplines, the guts, the grit frankly, to step up and do the things that you know you need to do all the time, not some of the time. And when you stack up those all the times, those are the inches that you fight for that

separate the greats from the average. The ones that become the best ever, the goats in their industry, the best moms, the best dads, the multimillionaire entrepreneur compared to the ones that just do okay. It's interesting, you know, there's a rhythm and a pace to success that I think most people aren't familiar with. But I can promise you right now that if you spend a day with some of the top entrepreneurs in the world, there's a rhythm and a pace that you probably aren't used to.

It's faster, it's quicker. They talk faster. They walk faster. They think faster. They make decisions faster. And it's just a hair. If you watch an average ordinary entrepreneur, they look like they're working hard. They look like they do things most days.

But it's a little slower. The cadence, the rhythm isn't quite what it is for those that dominate. I could tell you there's a rhythm to success. And once you understand that rhythm, which I'm trying to explain to you, it's 15% faster, it's 20% faster, it's not a hundred times. They don't do a million things better. They do a few things better and they do those things consistently and they do them faster and more repetitiously. You know, really the best ability in life is availability.

The best ability is availability. It's showing up and doing things consistently on a regular basis that most people just can't have the discipline to do. They get what I call leadership fatigue or they get routine fatigue. They just get tired of saying the same things over and over again, of doing the same things over and over again. And that's what discipline is. Discipline is the ability to do things when you don't feel like it, and when you're tired of doing it, when you're fatigued, when you're bored with doing it. Most winning is not beautiful. It's a grind. And remember this, when you're making history,

it very rarely feels like it. It rarely feels like it. What it feels like is work, what it feels like is lonely, what it feels like is you're the only one doing it and that's because you probably are. But what you need to know is that when you're laying those bricks every day and the person that you're competing against is laying them every third day eventually even if they're better at laying the bricks even if they have some magic brick, which there's no such thing, eventually it's the person who can do it over and over and over again

that separates themselves. And the truth is why don't people do things consistently? Because it's not sexy. It's not exciting, right? You think about the best, if you had a great mom, right? It's not exciting, right? You think about the best, if you had a great mom, right? What does she do? She just shows up quietly every day and does the things that make a difference that aren't beautiful but they matter. If you have a mom like I had, she was there every morning. She made my lunch every day on the days when she was sick and the days when she didn't

feel like it. She picked me up every day on the days when she was sick and the days when she didn't feel like it. She picked me up every day from school. I never needed to wonder whether mom was going to show up to pick me up from school. You all know what I mean, right? Can you imagine if you were raised not knowing whether or not your parent was going to get you from school, not knowing whether you're going to have lunch every day? And I know a lot of you had to grow up that way. But the truth is, like my mom just did the quiet things that great people do every single day.

She did her homework with me every single day. And I did well in school because of that. Whereas some parents did it only when grades were bad, only when they had to, only when there was a problem, only when they felt like it, only when their schedule permitted it. So my mom was a great mom and some moms are average moms, right? That's what separates you is doing those small things every single day. You know, it's like getting up earlier. In my first book, I talk about, you know, successful people get up earlier. They just simply get up earlier. But how do you get

up early? You say, Ed, I get up at seven o'clock. I really like to get up at five thirty. Well, you don't all of a sudden start getting up at five thirty. If you got up early? You say, Ed, I get up at 7 o'clock, I'd really like to get up at 5.30. Well you don't all of a sudden start getting up at 5.30. If you got up an hour and a half earlier, this is what most people try, they try to change everything all at once. Right? Let me tell you what's going to happen. By about noon you're going to be tired and you're not going to be your best. The way you get up earlier every day is the way you change everything in life incrementally.

So right now if you get up at 7 and you want to eventually get up at 5.30, do you know what you do? You get up 15 minutes30, do you know what you do? You get up 15 minutes earlier. You won't miss those 15 minutes of sleep. Now you're up at 645. And you do that for a month. For a month you get up 15 minutes earlier. You won't even feel the change.

It doesn't even seem like a big deal. It's a drop in the bucket, right? It's 15 more minutes. But then the next month you get up 15 minutes earlier. Now you're up at 6.30. You're up at 6.30, and you do that for a month. You won't miss those 15 minutes from 6.45. It doesn't even feel like you've changed anything.

But consistently now you're up 15 minutes earlier. And then the next month, you get up at 6.15. And all of a sudden you went from 7 to 6.45 to 6.30. Now it's 6.15. And before you know it45 to 630, now it's 615. And before you know it, a month after that it's 6 a.m. You can reverse engineer it all the way back, several months later, you're waking up at 530. But you do it incrementally.

And it doesn't seem like a big change, but it's huge because it's consistent. Same thing in business. If you want to start doing it, it's not making a hundred times more contacts every day. It's increasing your productivity by 15 to 20 percent and doing it every single day. It's not massive changes. Most of you, if you're an engine, don't need a major engine overhaul. You need a small, fine-tuning type adjustment. The old days, a carburetor type adjustment. That's the difference.

It's these small things. It's doing it consistently. And it's this belief system, listen to me, that you're going to become relentless and obsessed with what you're doing. You know what the great ones do? They do the needle moving things. The things that move the needle. They don't just do the routine every day.

They do something in their life as a parent, as an entrepreneur, as a leader that moves the needle. Stuff that can make quantum leaps. The hard stuff. The difficult stuff. I teach in my scheduling that I don't do first things first every day. I do feared things first. Feared things first.

Get the thing you're most afraid of out of the way. You know you do something consistently? You build the habit of doing the feared things first in your day. If early in your day, if you've got a call you don't want to make, do that call first. If you've got a meeting you don't want, schedule it first. I try to schedule all my difficult meetings on Mondays early in the day too because I want to create momentum if I can do that one I don't want to do if I can make that call I don't want to make the rest of my day is like downhill it's like momentum going down the hill as opposed to if you've got that hard meeting of that one call or that contact you need to make and you just haven't made it all day and you make

the other ones you know you're climbing uphill all day till you got to do that one but if you just knock the feared things first off, then it's like cruising downhill all day. It's much easier when you create momentum. These are the things. It's the pace. It's the rhythm. It's the consistency.

It's the availability. It's the game of inches that separate people. It's doing the things every day that the average do some days. It's doing it on the days you don't feel like it compared to those who just do it when they're pumped up and excited and they've heard the right podcast or they got the right Instagram message today. These are the separators and when it comes down to, truthfully, is this belief system. And here's what I've always said, and I mean this, I think you've got to evaluate this, truly. If you believe you're far away from something,

you will pace yourself that way. I've always heard people say, well, business is a marathon, life's a marathon, life is really long. Life can be short if it's miserable, I can tell you that. Life can be short if it's not going I can tell you that. Life can be short if it's not going very well. And although it's a marathon, the great ones sprint the whole race. That's not that they don't rest. You know what I mean.

What I'm saying is there's a pace. If you think something's far away, you act like it. See, most people don't lack vision. They have a vision. If you asked them, hey, do you want to be rich or poor, the average person would probably say rich. Do you want to make a big difference in the world or make none? I'd like to make a difference. You want to contribute or not contribute? I want to contribute. Do you want to laugh or cry more? I want to laugh more. I want to be happy or sad. I want to be happy.

You want to go see things and create memories in your life or basically do the same thing over and over again. Most people say, I want memories in my life. So it's not that you don't have a vision, it's that you have a depth perception problem. You have a pacing problem. See, you think your dreams, those feelings, those memories, that change, that body, that relationship, that amount of money is really far away.

And because you believe it's that far away, you've created patterns, belief systems, thought processes in your life that perpetually keep it that far away. You are jogging in the marathon of life where the winners are running 15 to 20% faster than you. They're up 15 minutes before you. They're making 15 to 20% more contacts. They're doing every day

what you do some days because they believe that they're one decision, one meeting, one new contact, one new relationship, one new thought, maybe one podcast away from completely changing their life. I'm not suggesting to you that it's going to be easy and that's going to happen like that. What I am suggesting to you is that if you think it's really far away and you pace yourself and you do things occasionally, it'll always stay that far away. It'll always be there. It'll always be a mystery. And here's the truth, you and I both know it. There's no mystery to what makes a great mom or a great dad. You know exactly what it is. There's no mystery of what makes a great athlete.

You know exactly what that looks like. There's no mystery would make a great entrepreneur. There's no mystery that would make you happier. There's no mystery. The mystery is you. The mystery is, are you willing to do the things every day, to be relentless, to be obsessed, to get out of balance? This notion of balance is a fallacy. If you're

going to do anything great in your life, some things are going to be popping at a given time when others aren't. But what if this entire notion that your life is a finite kind of pie, that if you take a big slice out of the business pie, your family's going to suffer. If you really focus on your family, then you're going to suffer in your fitness. What if the truth is that you're an expanding being that vibrates at a very high frequency and that when you magnify one area of your life, if you do it correctly, it'll magnify and expand the others, not take from it. See, all these questions about what it takes to win or am I gonna

be out of balance are from a completely flawed belief system. Two beliefs. One is that it's further away than it really is and two is that if I'm killing it in one area of my life, another area has to suffer. What if that's one of the great lies of life? What if one of the great lies of life is that your dreams are for other people? That it's for people not like you? That they're doing extraordinary things that you're incapable of doing? As opposed to the truth is, they're just doing things every day that you only do occasionally. They have availability all the time.

What if the truth is that the great lie is that it's far away, and the truth is that it's one decision, one new thought, one meaning, one connection away. What if that's the great lie of life? What if the great lie of life is that this is for other people and not you? Because I can tell you that that's a lie. The truth is is that it's very close and the truth is is that it's these small decisions that alter our lives. I can tell you straight up, you're a lot closer than you think you are. And what if the third great lie is that, oh, if I'm really expanding one area of my life,

another area has to suffer, that I'll become out of balance. I don't even know what balance means, but what I've found in my life, and here's the truth, that's a lie. It's a flawed belief system that's been mind-virus throughout our culture and our society for years where we have these concepts of balance. Let me tell you what I've found. That when I am killing it in the gym, and I'm a business athlete and I'm strong and I'm spending time in there training my body, that I'm a better businessman.

That's what I've found. That my gym life, my fitness life, expands my business life. Know what I've also found? That when I'm killing it at work and I'm giving it everything I've got, that when I come home I'm a better dad. I'm a better friend.

I've got more insights, more energy to give to other people. When I'm suffering at work, I usually suffer at home. When I'm suffering in the gym, I'm suffering at work, I usually suffer at home. When I'm suffering in the gym, I'm suffering at work. So when one area expands, it magnifies the other areas of life. The reason that we believe it takes from one another and then we feed that belief system is we've been programmed into our minds to believe it.

I'm not saying that you not need to be careful, that you don't need to be careful about your allocation of time and making sure everybody gets something, but I can tell you straight up, the fitter I've gotten and the harder I've worked out in the gym and the more time I've put in there, the better businessman that I've been. The better businessman I've been when I'm making a difference in my work and I'm growing and expanding.

The more I bring to my family and friends, the more value I have, the more insights I have, the more love I have, the bigger and better version of me I have to share with my family. You remember this. If you're doing a great job as a mother or a father, you're going to bring that love and that comfort and that security and that faith into your work life and it's going to expand your work life, not take from it. And when you're crushing it at work, you're gonna be a better mom and a better dad and a better friend because you're a better you and you're more proud of you and you respect you more and because when you come from that

place you've got more to give other people. And when you're nailing it in your fitness and you're crushing it and you're fitter and stronger, those aren't hours you're taking from other places. Those are investments you're making in your strength and your vitality and your mental well-being so that you are better at work and that you are better in your family. One of those areas expands the others

as long as you believe it does. Those are the three lies of life. And today I cleared it up for you. I told you the truth. And so although there are no secrets to winning, there are lies, there are flawed belief systems that take from winning. And what I have found is that if you do the things that I've described today, you put yourself in a position to win where the

probability of you winning is increased. There's no guarantees in life, there's no promises. What we're trying to do is increase the probability and the possibility of our winning. And what starts to happen is you become an impossibility thinker into a possibility achiever. All your life, you've had this secret notion about you. Deep in your heart, you were known, you were born to do something great with your life. When you were a little boy or a little girl, you just knew it. Maybe even had a family member who made you feel that way. They saw the special in you, didn't they?

I'm here to just remind you today, they were right. You were right. You were born to do something great with your life. And I mean, yes you sister, yes you my brother. Maybe no one's told you in a while. Maybe no one's reminded you in a while. But I want you to know God made you to do something great. He made you in his image and likeness with a big plan.

And you're going to make a difference in people's lives in what seem to be small ways that end up being huge ways down the line in their life. And some of the things when you're doing it's gonna feel really big when you're doing it. But remember what I said earlier, when you're making history in your life most of the time it doesn't feel like it because you're in the midst of the work, you're in the midst of the fog, you're on that lonely road to success that I've described in other podcasts. If you've not heard those shows, listen to them. It seems lonely, it seems dark, It doesn't seem like you're

getting there. But meanwhile you're making deposits in the bank account of success every single day. The truth is the people that win, that become the goats, that are the great ones, they've just made more deposits in the success account than those that haven't. And they make those deposits because they do needle-moving things. They get up a little bit earlier. They do it more consistently. They believe they're closer than they are. They know that when they're crushing it in one area, they're expanding in others. They know it's a game of inches. They know it's almost too scary to talk about. But the thing they really know is that they were born to do it. That they were born to do something great with their life.

So I'm here to remind you it's closer than you think You're closer than you think there are no secrets, but there are secrets there are lies There are flawed belief systems and hopefully today we've rid you of a few of them. I really believe in you And I don't believe in you because I've met you because millions of you I't met. I believe in you because I believe in God. I believe it doesn't make any mistakes. And even if you don't believe in God, that's okay. I got enough belief for both of us. And I know that you were born to do something awesome, that you're not here by mistake.

I know there's a purpose to you in your life. And I know the more that you do these things I've described, that purpose will be revealed to you even if it's not clear to you now. Over time, it'll be revealed. Over time, those deposits you're making, millions of other people in your life, and maybe just a few of them, will be the benefactors of making the withdrawals

because you did all of the work. The people that you love will thank you someday for doing all of the work you've done. Just right now, they can't see it. Right now, maybe they don't even believe it for you, but I believe it. And I know you're going to do something great. I hope today helped you hope every week when we come back on these solo episodes that you go, I picked up another thing.

I'm more inspired. I learned something. This is something I'm going to shift. I know for me, it was valuable today. I feel like I was talking to me. I feel like I was talking to me. We're all in this together. We're all brothers and sisters None of us are better than anybody else You know the world is gonna try to convince you that we're all separated that we are all at each other's throats right now

We're all in this together. And although we may have different opinions and belief systems about different things And although we may have different opinions and belief systems about different things, we're brothers and sisters nonetheless And we were put here and born to make each other's lives better And that includes you you are uniquely Qualified to change other people's lives. You're the only person on earth right now with your experiences your personality Your background your heart your mind all combined into one human being. Man, that's pretty special. Man, you're special.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So, you know, I get asked a lot, what are some of the common practices or behaviors of the successful people that have been on your show? I gotta tell you, most of them have been to therapy. And they've told me therapy's made a big difference in their life, it's made a big difference in my life. And so whether you've got like a real traumatic thing you want to work through in your life that you've not resolved yet or maybe just got an

emotion you'd like to get rid of or improve, maybe it's none of that. Maybe just got kind of something you want to talk through, a problem you want to work through. If you've been considering doing therapy, I think you should take a look at BetterHelp. BetterHelp is done entirely online and what I love about it is they match you with a licensed therapist. If you don't click with the therapist, you can switch at any given time to a therapist that meets your needs that you kind of click and vibe with. Take a moment and visit betterhelp.com right now to get 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelp.com. H-E-L-P dot com slash ed show. Would that be your first recommendation? Because as we wrap things up here a little bit, would you recommend they just begin to regulate their breathing? Start with meditating? What would your first recommendation be? I'm listening to this. You go, I want to change. I still want to change matter in my life.

I want to create the body. I want to create the world. There isn't anything wrong with that. I want to experience the emotions in my life that I've touched on them before, but I want to have them on a regular basis. I know they're right here within me at any time. What would your basic recommendation be to begin? Yeah, I think the first thing is to learn.

Every time you learn, you make new connections in your brain, and learning is making those connections. And I was joking with my staff this week. I said, nobody reads anymore. Nobody reads. Nobody reads anything. Learn information. Why?

Because we found out that in our events, if you can be present and not look at your cell phone or not talk about your past, but be present with the content, and I can combine quantum physics with neuroscience, with neuroendocrinology with psycho neuroimmunology, mind-body connection, epigenetics, electromagnetism. You can really get it.

Like you can give me the nod and then I say, okay, I'm looking at an audience of 1500, 1600 people. Okay, well turn to the person next to you and teach it back to them. If you can't explain that, it's not wired in your brain and you'll doubt that it's possible and you'll do something differently. Okay, if you can explain it, then you're causing your brain to fire and new sequences and new patterns and new combinations. Whenever you make your brain work differently, you're changing your mind. Why? Because mind is the brain in action. So you keep reminding yourself of this. Now this, it's easier to forget this than

remember it. You know, it takes practice. You can't get it in one bite. It's a learning process, right? So now you're installing the neurological hardware in your brain in preparation for the experience. So knowledge is the precursor to the experience, right? Without the knowledge and the information, it's conjecturous, right? So the more you understand the what in the terms of what you're doing and the why you're doing it, the application, the practical you understand the what in the terms of what you're doing and the why you're doing it the application the practical aspect the how becomes exciting like oh, I'm gonna get it as an example You can take someone and throw them in an ice bath

We have no knowledge of ice but what that can do and then because they have no knowledge The ice bath is actually gonna is going to cost them harm, right? Right, you take that person you can teach them a few things and put them in an ice bath and it'll actually be instrumental, actually gain value from it. Well, the prefrontal cortex, the one that said, now you gotta make this valuable. You can take a person and you can put them in an environment

and they can perceive the environment as a problem and you can measure their autonomic response and it'll weaken their autonomic response. You can take that person and have them perceive it as a challenge and it'll actually strengthen their autonomic response. Okay, so now what's the reason behind this? Well you gotta put as much tension on your inner world of how you're thinking and how you're feeling and how you're gonna behave as much as your outer world of three-dimensional reality and meditation

is just a way to say okay let me get my brain and body right I'm gonna present Ed Mylett to the world today I got one lifetime one Groundhog Day one day I just want something different something unusual something mystical some sign from the universe that I created and I wanted to come in a way that I would never think of that would be the unknown because if I can predict it it's the known. Okay, let me before I get up and grab my phone and do all my things and get plugged back into my known world let me just say okay who do I no longer want to be I want to become so conscious that

I won't go unconscious again. The fundamental question is how many times am I gonna forget until I stop forgetting and start remembering? That is the moment. And there's nothing mystical about this. This is the work. And then you're gonna say, okay, who do I wanna be when I open my eyes?

Okay, let me think about this. How would greatness live? I don't know. Read a book on greatness. Read a book on Nelson Mandela. You wanna be wealthy? Read about wealthy people. And you're gonna see that they didn't just make their wealth They lost a ton of money and failed them a million times. It was and that's reality. Okay, well, let's what were the qualities

They were they they had perseverance. They had the termination. They let they cut their losses. They forgave they forgot about it They went on. Okay, so how am I gonna behave? Let me rehearse how I'm gonna behave they forgot about it, they went on, okay. So how am I gonna behave? Let me rehearse how I'm gonna behave. What I'm gonna do, let me take my time. I have plenty of time to do this. Let me just behave, let me think about how I'm gonna behave differently in this situation.

How am I gonna change my emotional response? When did I fall from grace yesterday and went back to my old self? Let me just, I'll set an alarm on my phone every three hours. I'm gonna just go off and I'm gonna take a moment and get back into the feelings of my future okay if I can do that over and over again well what do you think could happen in my life as a result of it so knowledge being the forerunner the application simple stuff

simple stuff practice heart coherence there's plenty of stuff that we can you know we can talk about practice brain coherence it's's plenty of stuff that we can talk about. Practice brain coherence. We know, we know, I asked the brain scientists, what percentage of people at the end of a week-long event, what percentage of people have their brains changed for the better? They said 100%, 100%, one week, fully immersed into the experience.

You practice it every day. Now, you can't do it once or twice and say, why isn't my bank account full? You know what I'm going to tell you? You're not that good. That's the only reason why. If you were that good, it would happen. You're not that good. So show up again and show up again and keep showing up. And I just was talking to a staff member today. The universe only gives us what we think we're worthy of receiving. So then people who show up for themselves every day. Believe they're worthy. They start feeling pretty damn worthy.

Like they're like, I'm worthy for this. Not like an entitlement way, like something. They just like, I'm really, I feel like it's gonna happen. I'm worthy for it. There's this intuitive knowledge about reciprocity. If I put something in, that I should be getting something out. If I do it repeatedly, totally agree with you. If you're feeling helpless, one of the

antidotes to feeling helpless is to get more helpful and one of the ways you can be most helpful is to raise your own identity. Our identity is the core part of our lives. We're not going to outperform our identity. Our identity, best said, is it's the thoughts, concepts, and beliefs we hold to be the most true about ourselves. It's really the invisible force in all of our lives that holds us back or can accelerate our success, our bliss, our achievements to whole new levels. If you look at identity, if you think about it, it's almost like it's a life thermostat. See, in this room right now, there's a thermostat sitting on that wall right now, and if it's set at 75 degrees, this room is going to be regulated to 75 degrees. No matter what the external conditions are, it could be a hundred degrees outside, the external factors do not impact the internal

thermostat in this room. It's 75 degrees. Consequently, also if it was 40 degrees outside, the heater will come on, it'll heat this room to 75 degrees. That's how your identity works. It's the internal thermostat of your life and that's why very often, let's say that you know relationships or financially you're a 75 degree-er and if you ever notice in your life as you start to heat life up a little bit, starts to go pretty well, maybe your relationships blissful and loving and incredible or financially you've increased your results, you're at 80, 85, 90, 100 degrees of success financially or in business and then it just seems coincidental, but somehow, some way, the air conditioner kicks on in our

lives. You know, a car breaks down, an event happens, we lose an account, something takes place, and all of a sudden we look up and boom, life's back at 75 degrees of relationship, of money, of business. That wasn't by coincidence. It is the regulator of your life, is your identity. And so if you, you can do all the right things, all the activities, all of the thinking, all of the execution part, but if you don't increase what you believe

you're worth, if you don't increase that identity, that thermostat of your life, you will find a way to cool your life back down to what you believe you deserve. And so one of the keys for me in my life is not just getting better at the mindset of life and the execution of business or strategy, but raising that identity so that I'm at 85, 90, 100, 120 degrees, so that I believe I'm worthy of as my execution and my thinking reaches the same level, that thermostat setting, that life setting will change. It's not the external conditions of our life that dictate the terms. It's that identity, it's that thermostat setting. So, we got to get more helpful if we feel helpless, and the way we do that is by increasing our own identity, that thermostat setting.

That sounds great, doesn't it? So how do you do that? Well, I call it the holy trilogy of shifting one's identity, and that is faith, intention, and association. That's the three things you must work on in order to increase your thermostat setting. Number one, faith. For me it's the center part of my life is that I have a God who loves me, that believes in me, that wants to see me successful, wants to see me prosper, wants to have favor in my life, wants me to feel comfort and peace. And so I find oftentimes it's interesting people of faith sometimes, God's in their life Sunday at church when they're worshipping or they're in

Bible study or when they're eating a meal they'll pray over it. But somehow when they walk into a business meeting, a speech, a boardroom, a client environment, they leave God at the door and they think they're on their own. So for me if you're a person of faith and God is with you all the time and he loves you all the time and he comforts you all the time, that includes business. That includes every area of your life. It includes him wanting to bless you with a great relationship, bless you financially, bless you to the best of your abilities in business, and then whatever the other.

If you're an athlete watching this, bless you in that at bat, over that pot, catching that football, hitting that shot. And so number one source of shifting your thermostat study is reconnecting again with your faith and allowing yourself to feel it inside all the other environments that exist. Then there's number two, there's your intentions. See I don't think enough people give themselves credit for having great intention. There's a power to intention in our lives and so what most of us think is I'll feel better about myself or I'll be more confident

when, when I get that job, when I get that relationship, when I get this amount of money, when I get that house, when I hit that home run, when I'm hitting a certain average, right? And so you're always chasing your tail. If your identity and your confidence is contingent upon producing a result that has not yet existed, it's pretty difficult to catch it, isn't it, if you have to have it to get it in the first place. Instead of saying, maybe I ought to get credit and I ought to be worthy of more because I intend to do well.

As a young man in business, I started to figure out, you know, I may not have all the answers. I may not be the smartest, the best looking, the most articulate, my IQ isn't 250, but I intend to serve. I intend to make a difference. I make mistakes, but overall I'm a good person who wants to make a difference. I make mistakes but overall I'm a good person who wants to do good in the world and I should be favored because of that. Not enough of you are giving yourself credit for your intentions. You want to shift your identity overnight, connect with your

faith. You want to double shift it, connect with your intentions. So when I go into a business meeting, or I go into a lunch, or I'm going into any type of encounter, even in my golf life, in my sport I play, a business meeting or I go into a lunch or I'm going into any type of encounter even in my Golf life when my sport I play I remind myself that I've got a God who loves me who wants me to win It wants me to be blessed who wants me to be favored who wants me to feel peace number two I intend to do good I'm a decent human being and you know what good things ought to happen to good people and then third is association you are who you hang around see if you're a

85 degree or 75 degree or financially, but you start hanging around someone say like myself who lives at a hundred to forty, hundred and fifty degrees of finances and wealth and abundance, you will get heated up by proximity to somewhere in between the two of us and a lot closer to where I am than where you are. Same thing in relationships. If you want to have a great loving relationship in your life, but you're living at 75 degrees in your relationships, you start hanging around people who are in loving beautiful relationships, your thermostat setting will increase. Same within your faith life, if you want to start walking with more faith in your 75 degrees of faith,

if you start hanging around people who walk their faith life at 100-150 degrees, you'll be heated up through proximity. And so these are the three things we do in order to shift our lives. Our identity is the governor on our life. It is the most powerful force in the world. It's the invisible force that governs everything is that thermostat setting. And then if that's true, the way we shift it is always going to be our faith, our intentions, and our associations. And those associations are so huge. I know you've all heard, you're the product of who you hang around the most

often but look at the last 90 days of your life okay and ask yourself this question other than say your spouse or children who are the two or three four people you've spent the most time with? Picture their faces in their lives right now and then I want you to measure one thing what's their emotional maturity like? See what I find with all successful people is they have a degree of emotional maturity that other people are absent of. So I always measure what's their emotional maturity, how do they handle success, how do they handle failure, how do they handle their lives? Then ask yourself this, these three or four people you've been around, can you

immediately name two or three things that they have in their life in an area that matters to you? Let's say it's money, let's just say it was money, that they have that you don't have that you wish you did have, or in relationships, can you name two or three things in their relationships that they have that you wish you had, or in business, or in their physical body, and if you can't immediately go, yeah they got two, three, four things, man I would love to have that in my life, then I'm not so sure that that's the person you ought to spend the most time with. The reverse question is also, hey, can you name two or three things they have that you definitely don't want? When you look at their financial life, if finances are important to you,

do they have two or three things going on in their life financially you definitely want no part of? Or in their relationship life, you know, if you want a better relationship, if you look at their relationship, there are two or three things like, I wouldn't want that relationship, I don't like the way he or she treats them, or they get treated, you can look at that, or their physical body, you want to be in really great shape, you look at them, do they have two or three things about their health or wellness that you don't think are really great? Well that's an immediate sign maybe they're the wrong people. And so taking an evaluation of who your associations are, are they emotionally mature, do they have the two or three things you would

like to have in your life they have in theirs that you'd like to get heated up and get? Or do they have two or three things you want to avoid? These are signs that you should be away from them. So the way we get more helpful is we increase our identity and we increase our identity by working on our faith, our intention, and our associations. If you do those three things I believe you're gonna live happier, you're gonna help other people become happier, you're going to make a contribution in people's lives that's deeper and more meaningful than you've ever made before. And by the way, lastly, that's what you were put here to do. You were put here, you were born to do something great

with your life in small ways and big ways. You were made to do something awesome with your life. Maybe not all of it's going to get limelight or notoriety, but you were born to make a difference in the world. And the more you realize that, the more you step into your intention, the more you step into the person you're capable to becoming, the more you just decide, I'm raising that thermostat setting, I'm no longer this other character I was playing. At any point you and God are the authors of your life. You can grab the pen and start to write a new chapter and say, I'm stepping into this new character their identities higher. They're more faithful. They're focused on their intentions more often They improve their associations and they help people. Well, I hope I'm doing that for you

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granular will go granular that has helped you begin to work on worthiness because this distinction, even in prepping for this, the reason I'm doing what I'm doing right now, we prepped, we talked about this, I've read the book, but I don't think I really made this correlative difference between confidence and worthiness, so what's something we could all do right now, a practice or a strategy for growing our worthiness level?

Okay, let's dive in. And two things, we'll get granular now, but the book obviously has so much more. And then when you and I do live, and I wanna say thank you for this, I don't think I said thank you off the top, but you know, when you're an author, right, why are we doing this?

It's like, I never realized this before I wrote a book, is that when you pre-order the book early, it's a huge gift to an author because then retailers know like, oh, there's demand for it. Yeah, and so, you know, it's, we wanted, I just wanted to do something really, really special for everyone listening and the fact that

if they pre-order the book and they're live on a Zoom with you and me, let's dive. Like we'll go deep into self-doubt and building self-worth, I'm so excited. So thank you again for that So my and by the way, everybody she's gonna give you a tactic right now, but let me just say one thing to you This is the only show. This is the worldwide announcement for her book So I I want to ask you because you know Jamie's so remarkable and what you're gonna learn and feel today is so remarkable share this episode

Because it's the way people are gonna find out the books coming out, right? So, please share this episode. You can do it right now and keep listening or keep watching, but give us one thing we could do on our worthiness. Okay, great, and it'll go away, by the way. I didn't even say that, sorry, but this is like something really special, just for pre-orders,

but it'll go away, so if you wanna be live with Ed, grab it now and share it. They're with me all the time, they're gonna wanna be with you, but okay. You know, here's a big one for me, is changing my relationship with rejection. And this is, for every person listening,

when you change your, and watching us too, when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life. You change your entire life. And I think fear of failure and rejection kills so many dreams. It keeps us stuck. And this was huge for me.

And so just to take everyone through a tactical, let's just go there. Let's do a tactical exercise right now because this is something that outside of this episode, you're gonna wanna reapply it, spend more time on it, do the work on it. But just right now, as you're listening or watching us, answer this question to yourself super honestly.

Super honestly. When you fail at something or get rejected, what is the first thought that goes through your head? Very first thought. When you fail at something or get rejected, what's the first thought that goes through your head? For me, most of my whole life, it's, oh, yep, it's,

oh, yep, there's proof again, I'm not enough. I'm not enough. Sounds very familiar. Yeah, is that yours then? Yes, yes. Same? Right now, whatever your thought that just came to your mind, right?

That you just, your instant truth, first response, that is your current definition of rejection. So for me, it's, oh, there's proof I'm not enough, right? For a So for me, it's oh There's proof. I'm not enough right for for a lot of people. It's something like oh, yep. I'm not smart enough I don't have what it takes. I'm stupid. I'm you know, x y or z. I didn't go to the right school I didn't come from the right family. I don't have what it takes. I'm oh, yeah, it's because of my weight Oh, it's whatever it might be, right? we all have this definition of rejection. And I want you to just take note of yours right now,

because this is really powerful. Don't skip over this. This one thing will change your life. If you take note of what is your current definition of rejection, for me, it's I'm not enough, right? And- Can I tell you what mine is more specifically? Yeah.

Just a little bit more refined, because I want to meet you in the middle on it. I think mine is like, I don't belong here. So it's slightly different, but like, I don't belong here. I don't know, I think there's probably some things where when I was a kid, my dad was like, yeah, we don't belong, but if I get into an environment, I don't belong here, if it's a big stage to speak on,

or a room that I'm in, or people that are smarter than me. I don't belong here. I feel like I just physically, I don't belong here. I feel like I just physically, literally don't belong or even different things I've achieved or levels. Or like the first time I even walked into a country club I wanted to join, I don't belong here. They don't know the real me.

Like, I don't belong here. And so that's, I just wanna give the phraseology from me. Maybe it's, could be male, female. It could be just person to so that's, I just want to give the phraseology from me. Maybe it's, it could be male, female, it could be just person to person that's different. Keep going. I interrupted you. I just wanted to add that. Yes. I know that's so good. I think that sheds a lot of light to you for, for, cause get granular with, you know, for everyone joining us with it right now, just get granular on what that is for you, you know? And, and, and by the way, I have another thing. Oh,

I hope we have time. I want a dive deep on what you just said That in a minute with a whole other tactic But yeah, I don't belong here. That's huge, right? I don't belong here I'm not enough and at our core we all want to feel like we're enough and will be loved Right. We all need love and belonging. We all need to be seen and heard and know that we matter and at our core. That's a huge one Did you have the belonging thing? I wonder because you didn't you know your birth mom gave you up real early right so like did you or did your The mother who raised you make you feel like you belonged immediately or did you struggle without it?

I have struggled with that my whole life. Have you yeah? Yeah, yeah, not feeling like I fit in not feeling I belong feeling I'm different. Yes And maybe you are different and maybe that's a good thing. It doesn't mean you don't belong, but I am different, you are different, I know you. By the way, those of you that are listening, you are different, that's why you're individually you. Yes.

Right, that's the thing that makes you different is your special sauce. Yes. Not the thing that eliminates you from the room or the environment. It's what makes you special to add something to your family, add something to a company, add something to another human being.

Is these different things about you? So anyhow, you're going down your stride. And to add to that, it's your superpower. If you are showing up in this world as your authentic self, by definition, you've never been done before. There's never been another you. And we think the thing that is different or quirky or awkward about us is what's wrong with us,

but it's actually the thing that's right with us, right? And I don't wanna get off on a huge tangent, but like, had I not embraced all the crap that was technically wrong with me, I could have never built a billion dollar company. Like, Rosacea is considered a flaw. It's considered something wrong with me and it's like when I finally started to embrace it and share it and step into it, right?

That's when other people felt seen. I was like, oh me too and I have skin challenges or this or that or whatever and it's like there's a whole chapter in Worthy about this idea of how you're not crazy, you're just first. I love this. You're not crazy, you're just first. Not crazy, you're just first. And oh gosh, okay, I could talk about that for hours, but the lessons around this will change your life. It's why this book just came through me.

I'm donating 100% of the proceeds. I'm not even doing this to sell books, but this book will change your life and I'm so fired up about it. But to get real tactical, okay, back there. So we just did our new definition, or sorry, your current definition of rejection, which for me is like, oh, yep, proof again, I'm not enough.

For Ed is, you know, I don't belong here, right? And take note of what yours is that came to your mind right now. And step one of literally changing your entire life, again, I believe this through my core, when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life, your business, your family, your relationships,

your goals and dreams ever stepping into your calling. So I want you to come up with a new definition of rejection that you are going to believe is true and remind yourself of every time it happens I'm gonna give you a couple examples of this so for example when I went through years of hundreds and hundreds of no's and rejections building it cosmetics and I would sit there Ed and I would google all of my greatest heroes or people I thought I had so much respect for and as I would read their stories,

I'm like, oh, they've all gone through tons of rejections in their life, right? Every single one of them, right? And I came to this realization that the people who succeed the most are also the people who fail the most because they're the people who try the most and keep going. And so I started, yeah, and I started telling myself this new definition

of rejection, which is, ooh, it's a victory. It means I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it. And I started telling myself that every time I call a new retailer on the phone, I'm like, oh, no, no, you're not the right fit for us, or this or that, or whatever, and it would hurt my feelings. It's not that I was immune to being hurt or whatever, but I'm like, oh, you know what? I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it,

which means eventually I'm going to succeed. And I started seeing rejection in this weird way as a positive thing. Another definition that I use a lot is rejection is God's protection. Yes. Right? And I use this one a lot.

And there are more in my own life, in my own head, right? This is something I tell myself over and over. There's more stories than I can count where I'm like, and by the way, one example is at Cosmetics. I mean there was one investor midway through the journey that said he passed on investing and I thought, we were down to almost bankrupt, right? We had under $1,000 in our account, which was the company and our personal,

which meant we had a few weeks left before we went bankrupt, and everything was on the line, and I had this big meeting with a potential investor, and you know the story, Ed, but. It's so unbelievable. At the end, you know, he passed on investing, and I really was thinking he was gonna be like my saving grace, and he said that he didn't think women

would buy makeup from someone who looked like me with my body and my weight and it was a whole thing. And I- Wait a second, hang on. Did you all just hear what she said? Okay, I want you to imagine you struggle with worthiness issues. You've been building this company forever.

I just wanna make sure, because I think what you're about to tell them, the belief system that you took from it could change the world. So the first thing is, I wanna go back. Okay. You're not crazy, you're just first. I want everyone to just digest that.

I want you to hear what this woman said. Who knows about this stuff? You are not crazy to be pursuing your dream. You're just first. And you're probably first in your family, which is why they're the ones who think you're the craziest. You need to accept this, okay?

There's a profound, Jamie has this ability to say profound, deep things over and over again, hundreds of them, and she doesn't know it. You are not crazy. You're just first, and your family's probably not gonna get it. And even in your own company,

maybe them, they're not gonna get it. And so that's okay. The second thing is, this woman's struggling with worthiness all of her life. She's getting rejected like crazy, up and down. She's also struggled, one of her worthiness issues is she had rosacea, she struggled with body issues all of her life, if we're gonna get really real with Jamie.

She's had body issues. So imagine your biggest insecurity is probably that. It's physical, okay? She's this gorgeous, beautiful woman, but she doesn't know it. And so her number one insecurity is probably her body issue, at least operating out in the real world. She goes into this meeting needing it.

She's down to a grand. He not only rejects her, he says to you, I'll let you say it again, he tells her the very reason I'm rejecting you is the very thing you think about yourself the most deeply. I want you to imagine this, so go ahead. Yes, and we had gone through meeting after meeting. We went through the diligence phase.

We were so close with this potential investor who was the head of a private equity company. And in the final meeting, he's actually, it was in person, so he's about three feet from me. Paul, my husband, was on the other side, and he says, you know, congratulations, you should be so proud of this product and what you've built, but it's a no.

We're gonna pass on investing. And when I said, can you tell me why? It's usually feedback's a gift, and he got very quiet. And he says, you want me to be really honest with you? And I said, yes, please. And he said, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight. And two things though, Ed, yes, please. And he said, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight.

And two things though, Ed, okay, because rejections and the pain that they cause can take us out. They can take us down, they can take us out. We can keep replaying them over and over and over in our heads. And by this point, I had so many rejections. This was just one that I thought was gonna be my saving grace

that had he said yes. And I remember after I cried in my car, I remember telling myself rejection is God's protection and I don't know how this is gonna be God's protection. I don't see it now. It doesn't make sense to me now. I needed it to be a yes now, but I'm gonna choose to believe that because if I don't believe that, it's gonna to me now? I needed it to be a yes now, but I'm gonna choose to believe that

because if I don't believe that, it's gonna take me down. I'm not gonna get back up and keep going and embracing more rejection and more rejection and more rejection and more rejection, right? And here's what ended up happening. I didn't hear from that guy for six years. The day that L'Oreal bought my company

for $1.2 billion cash, because they are a public company, it was all over the press, right? Home page of the Wall Street Journal, everywhere. That was the first time I heard from that potential. Yeah, in six years, he said, congratulations on the L'Oreal deal. I was wrong. And what I want to say to him, Ed, was, did you ever see Pretty Woman? Yes, because the character is Edward.

Of course I saw Pretty Woman. I love that movie. So when they wouldn't help her in the store, and then she goes back later, what I wanted to say to him was, big mistake. Huge, huge! I gave you 1.2 billion reasons why it was a huge mistake, but I kept it classy.

I didn't say that. But here's my point in this. Had he invested it would have been the most successful investment in his firm's history, but guess what? I was so desperate at the time, Ed. We probably would have given the majority of the company for almost no money, right?

Because he didn't believe in me, when we sold to L'Oreal, I was the largest shareholder. So it's like, rejection is God's protection and sometimes we don't see it when it happens. So that's one. Can we say something on that too? Okay, so because her and I talk about these things all of the time.

First of all, it's one of the most unbelievable stories ever and I've heard it many times. A few weeks ago, I went to watch Jamie speak. I'm in the front row, obviously I'm rooting for my friend, but I got emotional again, I started crying again. And actually right now, if I'm not careful, I will. Because I'm picturing this woman who all of her life has struggled with worthiness.

And then to have someone hit you right where he's hit. But rejection is God's protection, is one of the fundamental beliefs I've never heard said before, that if you adapt and adopt that belief in your life, it will change your life. Here's how much your relationship with rejection matters. My children, both, you get that stage, you know Max and Bella, both of them are,

hey, they're in college, you're getting ready for their careers, and Max's son said, maybe I'll follow in your footsteps, Dad, get into sales in the beginning. And I said, Max, the whole key, if you're gonna go into business for yourself, is your ability to deal with rejection. It's the number one thing.

Can you deal with rejection, and what's the story you tell yourself? Because it's not the stories of our life, the events of our life that define it, it's the meaning we attach to it. Our friend Errol McManus had a great post I saw today, by the way, Jamie, where he said, emotions only store in our body

when they're attached to a story. So if there's no story, you've had a lot of emotions in your life that don't stick because you didn't attach a story to it. But when you attach a story to it, so that story you tell yourself. So you take it a step further.

This is an all time moment on podcast she's about to give you, just so you know guys, okay? So not only is rejection God's protection, but what else did you eventually uncover that you realized about what God was doing on your behalf in that rejection in terms of hiding something from him? But what else did you eventually uncover that you realized about what God was doing on your behalf in that rejection in terms of hiding something from him?

You guys listen, your life's about to change in this next one minute right here because if you can adapt this true belief system, it's not only a belief, it's a truth about your life, your life's about to be very different, including mine the first time I heard it, so go for it. Yeah, if you're someone that you are holding onto pain from a past relationship, a past failure,

mistakes that you've made, someone who did you wrong, somebody, the job you didn't get, the thing that's not going your way, whatever it might be, the partner that screwed you over, whatever it is, right? This definition of rejection is probably the most common one I applied in my life right now, every single, almost every single day, Ed, because sometimes, you know what?

A friend doesn't invite you to coffee or include you in a group, and it hurts your feelings, right? Whatever it might be, this is now what I believe most commonly when rejection happens in my life. I imagine my creator, God, saying, oh, no, no, no, you weren't rejected.

I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny. And I believe that, right? When things don't go my way right now, when someone doesn't give me the thing or want me there or include me in the room, whatever it might be, I, I, or doesn't get me for some reason. You ever tried to make someone just, you want to connect with them so bad, you want them to like you

and they just don't, whatever it might be. I believe this through my core and it has changed my life that I always now hear God saying to me, oh no, no, you're not rejected, you weren't rejected. I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny. It's one of the all time greatest things I've ever heard and I wish every human being could hear it. And I hope you can share this everybody this episode. I want my daughter to know that.

I want my daughter to know it so badly that when you walk in a room and a boy doesn't notice you like you like them to, or you don't get invited to something, or you get rejected in a sale down the road in your life, or if you're in a relationship and somebody leaves you, God had started to hide your value from them. And I'm telling you at 52,

and Jamie can tell you as a much younger woman than I am, but having a lot of success in her life, it is so profoundly true that that's what God's doing. He is protecting you in that moment by either hiding your value or taking the perception of your value away when they once did. And sometimes in life to get you out of a relationship

or out of a company or out of a job you have and you've been fired. You've been fired. Maybe they used to value and now they don't and God's removed that value from them to protect you. Yes. It's so beautifully true. I didn't mean to interrupt you,

but I just wanna say it. It's so true, yeah. And I love what you said earlier, share this episode with anyone who needs to hear this. How has serving people helped you? It's not in any of the things we were gonna talk about, but probably more than anybody you know, and certainly in your case more than anybody I know, like we're really doing whatever this is we're doing

for service for you and I. Neither one of us financially have a need to do it. I give away all the proceeds from my book. You're doing the same thing. So when the water got turned off, you know what I had to do? I had to look around my life. I really had to take an inventory, not just of me,

but what was around my life. And the fact of the matter was, I did not have the right people in my life. I didn't have the people who believed in me. I didn't have the people who supported my vision. I didn't have people who made me want to be better in my life. I had a few but I didn't have enough. I had too many people in my life that have just always been in my life. They always accepted me for who I was and that acceptance, that lack of belief in me, that lack of standard, got me all the

way to where I couldn't even pay a water bill. I didn't even have a car, never mind electricity for a while. And so it's very dangerous. It was very dangerous for me for who I allowed just to support my limiting thinking, who I had around me. They weren't bad people. There's very few bad people. They just weren't people who were going to get me going in my life where I knew I needed to go, where I was born to go.

I had read all the books on personal development. I learned about influence. I kind of learned how to change my state, how to think differently. I've been to a lot of the events that you go to. Why is it that so many people go to all these self-improvement, personal development, business events? They get all excited when they're there. They're ready to conquer the world. Then they get back home and life very slowly starts to drift back to normal. And that's because environment overrides

almost everything in our lives. That's why. And so the reason you're so excited when you're at the event, the reason you're ready to conquer the world is the environment supports what you're doing. And so I had to start to address my environment. And environment is the place you are,

but most importantly your environment is the place you are, but most importantly your environment is the people that are around you. Because write this down, number one, in our lives the most powerful force that I'm aware of in the world is to be consistent and congruent with the expectations of our peer group. Let me say that to you again. The most powerful force on earth is we become consistent with the expectations of our peer group. You're gonna get out of life with the people around you expect of you.

And so I had to begin to address who were the people around me, and specifically what was the environment that I was in. Because number two, proximity is power. The closer somebody is to you, the more influence they have over you. That's why your personal relationship that you're in is something that must be evaluated at all given times.

And people ask me, how do I get more spouse support or partner support boyfriend or girlfriend support I don't know that you're always going to get more support and I don't even know that that's needed but one thing that's a foundation of all relationships is does this person believe in me most people love us that's one thing if we're in a relationship we kind of feel a level of love but the deeper question is do they truly believe me? And when I started to evaluate my friends that were around me, if I asked myself, were they supporting where I wanted to go in my life? Not that they didn't love me or like me.

In fact, what most of us do is we love to have people around us who accept us. We say, I want people to accept me as I am. And there's a benefit to that. There's a huge negative as well. If people are constantly accepting this version of you, there's nothing compelling you to go to the next version. There's no stimulus that says I better change. There's no discomfort because these people closest to us, their proximity has influence over us. So number one thing I want you to

ask yourself is do the people around me believe in me? And if they don't, that needs to be evaluated. People say, well then what do I do? Do I get rid of them? Well, maybe, in some cases. I mean, if they're antagonistic to you, certainly. But what you have to do is begin to add people in your proximity who do believe in you or who will believe in you. And if they don't believe in you, perhaps they don't need to be eliminated from your life, but one thing you may need to do is start to reduce their proximity to you.

Maybe they're not as close to you as they used to be. I've had to do that many times in my life where I've had to eliminate a few people from my life, but very few. This is so critical to you becoming successful because your environmental game is more important even than your mental game because it's what supports it. And so I want you to evaluate a few things.

Do they believe in me? Number two, are they a past or future reference type friend? In other words, when you're around them, what do you find yourself talking the most about? Is it the past or the future? I want to be around people who are constantly talking about either the present, but most importantly, the future. In other words, I want people who are present with me so that when they're with me, we're together. You know you have those friends too who are constantly not present even though they're in your presence. We don't want that either.

But if people are constantly taking me in the past frame of reference, old stories, old things, remember when, high school, college, previous date, previous vacation, previous business, remember when, constantly, you know, they're just always reminiscing. Or are they projecting me into the future?

If at least 75% of your conversations aren't about the future with the people that you're around, these are not people supporting your future, they're supporting your past. They're reinforcing your past. The more we talk about something, the more we reinforce its importance in our life. And so this is a very subtle thing.

And I think even as I say it, you're going, whoa whoa They do love me. I think they might believe in me, but man we talk about the past all the time Well, this is somebody who's going to reinforce that state of your life You need to add people to your proximity who are discussing the future with you You know you've heard about triggers before where you can learn in personal development You know you snap your fingers you put yourself in a state or you walk you hear a song It's a trigger isn't it you hear a song, it's a trigger, isn't it? You hear a song from some point in your life, it triggers a memory. Or a song you love right now that triggers you wanting to work out or move your body.

So things are triggers. People are also triggers. And if there are people in your life, just by their proximity, trigger events that are prior in your life that didn't serve you. Just by being around them, they're a trigger. Humans are triggers. Do you have people that just when you see them, they trigger peace for you? They trigger joy? They trigger abundance? They trigger competing? They trigger intensity? They trigger belief? They trigger confidence? They trigger your desire to grow? Ask yourself what triggers these people are in your life? What do they

trigger in you? And you begin to, you start to look at these things. You go, wow, we have this group of friends who they accept me, but I don't know if they believe in me. Then I've got this other group of friends where they believe in me, but we're always talking about the past. And then you know what? They kind of trigger these states of sort of comfort or average in me. Who do I have that's triggering my desire to grow? Who makes me uncomfortable? Who do I have, like, I kind of clean up the house before they come over?

Who do I have where I get excited when I see them because not every conversation's the same? I don't know where it's going to go. You should have those people that accept you in your life. There's nothing wrong with that. It's an important thing. But you should have these other people who really don't accept this version of you. They believe in you so greatly, so much, who really don't accept this version of you, they believe in you so greatly, so much that they don't accept this version of

you. They don't accept this performance from you. They don't accept this level of happiness, abundance, joy, performance from you because they know how much more you're capable of. Who do you have like that in your life? And the reason that that matters so deeply for us is because, and I want you to write this down, we get our standards in life. We don't always get our goals. We don't always even get what we focus on. We end up ultimately getting what our standards are. Standards dictate everything in life. And the people around us help create that standard. For example, I was at a birthday party last night and the people sitting around me were all very fit people and dessert came. It was birthday cake time and I probably normally would have probably had that

piece of cake but the first three people that were asked have this standard for how they eat in their life and when their cheat days are, their cheat meals are and all three people passed on it and immediately almost through peer pressure I went no I'll'll pass too. And then my buddy goes, dude it's okay have a piece. I said, no no man it's good. That standard alters us in every little area. Now that's an obvious example but we're going to get our standards, our standards of wealth, our standards of faith, our standards of abundance and the people in our proximity help set the standard based on what theirs are in their life. So the people around you evaluate next.

What are the standards they help you set in your life? The other thing we win with is energy. And so ask yourself this, is this person in my life an energy giver or an energy drainer? This is massive. So when you're talking to them, do they feed you energy? You know, there's that one number where it shows up on your phone and you're like, oh, right? You know that conversation, that text is going to be an energy drain. This person's proximity to your life is stealing some things from you. I'm not saying you shouldn't have people in your life who you're supporting and you're helping because we're going to talk about that next. But if the vast majority of people around you are energy neutral or energy drainers, what do you think that's doing to your environment that you're

supporting yourself with? Okay? Or on the contrary, is this someone who gives you energy, feeds your energy, feeds your belief, makes you stronger, gives you that juice in your life? Because all of these things, these people around us, all these evaluations, they're creating our environment so that it'll support our thinking, it'll support the changes we environment so that it'll support our thinking, it'll support the changes we're making, it'll support our goals. This is supported by scripture as well,

Proverbs 27, 17, as iron sharpens iron, so does one person sharpen another. And so one of the obvious questions about this is, if someone is lower energy for me or is a past reference person or a trigger that doesn't support me or they don't believe in me or they only accept me as I am. If you have some of these issues, what do you do with them?

I'll give you three things. I don't think you just eliminate people from your lives. It's not that hardcore a thing because this is more about adding the right people than it is eliminating people, but it is reducing their proximity. And so, I think with people in your life that aren't supporting you the way you want to, number one, I would recommend you be kind to them. Be kind in your conversations with them. You don't have to become mean to them or adversarial to them.

And I don't even think you need to let them know this. Number two, I think you need to be cordial. But I will tell you that you begin to become three, which is concise. Your dialogue with them begins to be concise. Their proximity to you begins to shrink. And these are things people say, gosh, that's so difficult. Well, do you want to be happier? Do you want to win? I mean, you've already tried the other things, right? You've already started to write goals down, you're already working on yourself, you already got some habits

that you're working on. Maybe this is the area. Perhaps this is the area. Those of you that have children, this is an audio or video they should be watching or listening to. Their schoolteachers influence them, that's their mentors, that's like what we're doing right now, right? But who really has influence over This is an audio or video they should be watching or listening to. Their school teachers influence them. That's their mentors. That's like what we're doing right now, right? But who really has influence over your children? Who really sculpts who they are? It's their friends and it's their closest friends.

That's why parents guard those associations so vigilantly, the good parents do, because they know the proximity of these kids around their children are going to influence ultimately who they become. Our lives begin to have a pace that's different than when we're young, but the same exact thing is true for us. These people closest to us dictate who we become. It's not our mentors like our school teachers. They have some influence. I have influence, hopefully with you, but not the same as the people that you're texting with when you're done listening to this. Not the same as who you're having dinner with tonight. Not the same as who you have

lunch, who you're around at work, who you're around in the evening, who you socialize with, right? They have the greatest form of influence over you, because in your life, you're trying to build this library of memories, aren't you? And in your mind right now, these memories are going to be different. They're different places, different experiences, different things, right? Different moments, different achievements, different breakthroughs, different feelings with the same people, with the same people, with the same people you are likely to build the same types of memories

over and over again. So if you love your life right now, if everything in your life is rich and you don't want it to change and you don't want it to grow and you'd like to keep repeating these memories you're getting now, well then by all means keep these people very close to you and add people as you go. But if there's this party that's, I want to change the memories. I don't want the next 10 years of my life, the feelings, the experiences, the accomplishments, the places I see, moments I have. So all I'm asking you to do today is do an audit on your environment.

I want you to audit the people around you in your environment and the things around you in your environment. What do you have around you in your environment? Are your goals up on a board? Do you have visualizations? Are you reading things that you can see visually in your life? Are you listening to the right things? These are all part of your environment, but the most important thing are the people that are inside that environment that are around you. And so that's how you eliminate. Now, adding people to your life, the best way to do that is to seek out, go to places where they are.

So, I mean, where do they have lunch? Where do they have coffee? Where do they work out? Where do they worship? Go to the places where these people that you think could help you to become good friends and just become a part of that environment And the more you're in the environment, you'll end up meeting people. It's a strategy It's work to add people to your life. I could tell you that I work very hard at this I also believe in the law of reciprocity.

You don't just ask somebody to be your friend, you find a way that you can contribute. You wanna become a friend of mine, say, how can I help you? How can I serve you? Just offer whatever you have. You say, well, I don't have anything to offer people. You'd be surprised.

Could you offer me your belief in me? Could you offer me your truth? Could you offer me your prayers? Could you offer me your support? These are real gifts you give people. Not all of them need to be knowledge and breakthroughs and an example and a track record. You'd be surprised, someone like myself, what just your belief means to me, your support means to me. And I'm the type of person, the people you want in your life, when I feel like you've given me something, I feel obligated, obligated to pay

you back even more. And so the way you add people to your life is with the law of reciprocity. Put yourself in environments where they are and begin to offer your belief, your kindness, your support, your love. Maybe it is your collaborations, maybe it is your connections, maybe it is a talent or skill you have,

but it doesn't have to be those things. When I was a young person, I ended up adding people to my life that were much more successful than me, much more well-known than me. But you know what, as I got to know them, I think they sens people to my life that were much more successful to me, much more well known than me. But you know what? As I got to know them, I think they sensed this person truly believes in me. They truly care about me.

This is a real friend. You have those people in your life as well where they don't necessarily have all the experience to support you, but they really believe in you. They really love you. And then the last thing I want to ask you today is, because for you to add these people to your life, what I just said is the most important thing. How do you show up in people's lives? How do you show up in people's lives? Right now, are you that person that's an energy giver or drainer? Are you a future frame of reference or the past? Do you help

your friends set high standards or the acceptable standards they already have, right? Are you someone who deeply believes in people and they know it or you just kind of accept them As they are these are the things you begin to ask you How are you showing up in other people's lives because that'll have an awful lot to do with who shows up in your life How do you show up in other people's lives? And if you begin to evaluate these things your environment slowly But surely will begin to support your mental game, will be supported by your environmental game.

And why is that so important? Because I want to remind you about something. You were born to do something great with your life. You were put here to do something special all your life. Since you were a little boy or a little girl, there was some point in your life where you knew you were supposed to do something great. That you were put here for a reason.

That you've got a calling. That you've got a home in your life you're eventually gonna find where you're living the real true authentic version of you, your best version. You know you're supposed to do something great with your life. And right now, if you're listening to this

or you're watching this, maybe you're not quite there yet. And maybe it's your thinking, maybe it's some tactics and strategies and habits, which I cover all the time on this show. Maybe it's all the mental stuff, but more than likely it's the environmental stuff. It's the standards.

It's the people around you that believe in you. It's not just having people that accept you because you want to do something so great with your life. I have this theory that many of you heard that when I die someday, I believe I want the Lord to say, well done, good and faithful servant. But I have this hallucination, as many of you know,

that when I die, the Lord's going to do that. And he's going to turn Lord to say, well done, good and faithful servant. But I have this hallucination, as many of you know, that when I die, the Lord's going to do that and He's going to turn around and say, Eddie, I want you to meet the man I made you to be. When I made you in my image and likeness, this is the destiny version of you. This is the man you were born to be. And that guy's going to be standing there and I want to meet him and go, I've been chasing you all my life, man. And he's going to say, boy, you caught me.

You did it. I'm proud of you. You had all the memories, all the moments, all the contribution, all the feelings, all the difference, all of it in your life. You made it all happen. You became the man you were born to be. We're identical twins. To me, that's heaven when I pass away. Heaven is I meet the man I was born to be and we're identical twins. Hell would be that you'd meet that person and you're total strangers. You're total strangers. That woman be that you'd meet that person and you're total strangers. You're total strangers.

That woman someday when you die and you meet the woman you could have been and you're total strangers, you went down different paths, different roads, different decisions your entire life and you never become that woman. You never become that man. To me, that's hell.

So if it's that important to you that you've always known, and maybe it got buried as you got older, maybe life sort of kicked us around a little bit to where not everyone in our life believed it. And then maybe our parents, our friends, our school teachers, just life started to happen and we forget who we are. We forget who we are.

And you know why you forget who you are? Because of the people that have been in your damn life. Because they haven't supported that great version of you. When you were really little, you knew it. You felt it because you were closer to God at that time. And the more and more people were added to your life, they began to treat you in such a way that they didn't expect those things of you. And maybe you started to accept that. So if it's people that created these limiting beliefs, created this anxiety, created this fear, created this thing about us where we forget our greatness,

if it's people who did this to us, it's people who are going to help us get out of it. If it's the environment that stole this joy, stole this belief, stole this confidence from us, stole this sense of purpose from us and passion, it's the environment that will give it back to us again. And we put the people in our lives deserve to have, not just that have always been there.