THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Rise Above It All w/ Dane Cook

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

“There is a fine line between Anxiety and Excitement“This interview will rock you.How is it that some people can tell a story in a way that not only holds your ATTENTION but that makes you LAUGH u...ncontrollably?If anyone has the answers, it’s DANE COOK.Because DANE has been doing just that for more than 30 years now through his albums, television appearances and specials, as an actor, and especially as a prolific stand-up comedian.This week, we’re going to pull back that curtain, and Dane is going to reveal his PERSONAL JOURNEY and tell you things you’d never thought you would hear from one of America’s funniest men.One of Dane’s greatest strengths is as a storyteller, and in my opinion, he’s one of the most COMPELLING STORYTELLERS I’ve ever heard.  It’s one thing to tell jokes that get a reaction, but quite another to go deep about some part of the human condition and connect with people on a completely different level.The best comedy also rises from PAIN AND ADVERSITY.  Dane is no stranger to that either, dealing with a half-brother who defrauded him for almost everything he had.  And that only scratches the surface of the hardships that Dane has been through.In fact, so many things piled up in his life that, at one point, Dane almost quit the business.  You need to hear how he used that time and those experiences to RETHINK his life and REDEFINE his expectations going forward.Great comedians like Dane also carry around a certain amount of ANXIETY as well.  In fact, the fine line between anxiety and EXCITEMENT is where they find the best and most relatable material.We’re also going to talk about the public side of Dane as well.  He’s got a lot to say about building a social media brand (he’s an original and one of the best) and how he deals with CRITICISM and HATE.  Listen to Dane’s take on the fine line between locking out those haters and taking in enough so that you can REFLECT and INTERPRET things is gem-mint thinking.  We’re also going to talk about the right and wrong ways of TYING IDENTITY TO SUCCESS.You’re going to love a GREAT INTERVIEW with the GREAT DANE this week.  It’s not what you’d expect, and that’s no joke…

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This is the end my let's show. Hi, welcome back everybody. I'm fired up. I'm trying to get this guy on for a couple years and we kind of went back and forth on some DMs over some time. I've been a fan of his for a long time, all the way back to the My Space days and he is just, let's just be real, he's one of the most prolific standups of all time, which ended up becoming acting and all kinds of other stuff
Starting point is 00:00:27 that he's been successful at. And then he's got this special out right now called above it all that you can get at dangcook.com. And I watch the other night and I'm like, hey, he's even more brilliant than he was before. It's hilarious, but it's really inspiring and motivating at the same time. To me, that's good art.
Starting point is 00:00:43 It gave me more than one emotion at one time. It wasn't just giggling and laughing. It moved me and it made me think. And so I got a legend sitting across from me. Dane Cook, welcome to the show. Well, man, that was like the wind up and I was holding my breath. I was like, wow, this is thanks for having me on
Starting point is 00:01:00 and thanks for the flowers, man. I'm deeply proud of this moment. Yeah, you should be. You, what made you, I know you get an asses a lot, but like, just so you guys know, and thanks for the flowers, man. I'm deeply proud of this moment. Yeah. You should be. You, um, what made you, I know you get an asses a lot, but like, just so you guys know, you're gonna go watch it. It's, it's, you're the best storyteller I've ever seen. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 00:01:13 No, you are the best storyteller. And I've never watched like an hour go by with sort of just a few stories. Right. And you like feels sort of like one long bit. That's exactly what it feels like. Was that with intent or does, when you put your, you know, I have a lot of standup friends that kind of say,
Starting point is 00:01:28 I got good 20 minutes right now. I'm working on the other 20 and I'm working on the hook. I'm sure. Was that intentional to go that way? Yeah, I think a lot of the standup that I loved growing up was the wrong moments, the off-kilter moments, the moments that seemingly were like up. Man, that's the end of that rhythm.
Starting point is 00:01:45 I actually, example, before the tonight show was foul and growing up, it was Johnny Carson. He was the foul. And Johnny Carson could deliver the material, but when something went clunk, he came to life. And you saw something happen in the room and you felt it, that was, you couldn't take your eyes off him in that moment.
Starting point is 00:02:05 And it was like, can you get back to the laugh? And of course you would. Yeah. And so I think I always looked at stand up as, I'm never going to be a perfect stand up comedian. I'm never going to master this. There is no end game to stand up. I'd been a student of it, enough to know. But if you're a person who evolves their philosophy, grows up with a generation of fans and can kind of take the piss out of yourself and in those Johnny Carson type moments, reflect on it in real time.
Starting point is 00:02:35 If you get that good, then I think that's where comedy can be storytelling and you don't really see the beginning, middle, and end. Yeah, I also think it takes like tons of, I'll call it guts since this is a clean show, but like I speak for a living, right? So for a living, it's one thing I do. To go that long on a story means you've got a lot of confidence where you're taking me,
Starting point is 00:02:54 because if it doesn't hit, you've taken eight or ten minutes up of the show that doesn't hit. Right. That takes some real stuff, right? Sure. And it takes a lot of time not getting quite to the where the end point is yeah, there's you know, it's kind of the cul de sac moment once in a while I call it where you go, well, this is lovely, but where does this go? Right. Right. And so the pieces that you
Starting point is 00:03:16 see if I if I do my job the way I hope I've presented it here is like, I'm going to sandbox each story. And I'm going to find something that we call on comedy. I'm sure you've heard it here is like, I'm gonna sandbox each story and I'm gonna find something that we call in comedy. I'm sure you've heard it from your other comedy buddies is LPMs, laughs per minute. And if I can fill a story out and I know where I wanna take you but I can hit those laughs, it's not a seminar or a monologue, it's standout.
Starting point is 00:03:38 Oh, very good. Yeah, what made you do it at your house? A few reasons. Well, first and foremost, when I moved in there 12 years ago, I... It's a baller pad, by the way. It's a beautiful spot, and it's overlooking, and it's just... It looks like a treasure trove out there. It's glistening, and I stood on my porch 12 years ago,
Starting point is 00:03:57 and I went through probably one of the most difficult moments of my life where I'd been come out of a hardship, a financial hardship. And I almost didn't even know if I could keep my house. I was in such dire straits. But I stood on the porch and I was like, not only am I going to work my ass off to my butt off, sorry, to keep this place, but it feels like a stage up here. And I already had been formulating the idea and where that came from was I don't know how it was out here, but East Coast you had somebody stoop you had a weekend night You had a few drinks and you had neighbors congregating and stories flying and impersonations of each other and next thing
Starting point is 00:04:37 You know, it was like it felt like a little makeshift show on on a front porch Yeah, and I loved that and I wanted to recreate that you did that out of that So I want to go there's one of the things I wanted to ask you about. Just see someone like you, you've had this, like your voice is tripping me out, because in the old days when you had like an iPod, like the thing, when you turn it on, the same thing would pop up,
Starting point is 00:04:56 your comedy special popped up for like four years ago. I actually got very sick of you, because I was like, quick off this guy. Like I kept carrying your voice in this. It was like, what was alphabetically one of one of my bits was like the first one that first Abduction bit or whatever it was like aliens. Yeah, yeah aliens one a lot of people wrote me that said How the hell do you know cuz it's with an a because people would tell me you're the first thing on my shuffle I have heard that bit no exaggeration over 3,000 times. I apologize. I know. I know. It's really good
Starting point is 00:05:23 But ain't three thousand times It wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth that 3,000 plays, but it was a funny bit. So having you on here, but I also, I was very much a fan of your work. And so I know about what you're describing. So people see the successful life of anybody that's on my show in the backstory. Like, we'll get to how you started and what you overcame,
Starting point is 00:05:42 but in the thro throws of your career, after you've worked your ass off traveling around bust in your tail, someone very close to you. Yeah. I mean, this is an incredible, incredible amount of adversity and story. So tell them what happened. I grew up with a half brother in the same household. So felt like just like a brother, right? And he ended up coming and working for me as my bookkeeper. So what started off as a young kid, you know, paying my Chevy Cavalier once a month bill and maybe like a couple of slices of pizza
Starting point is 00:06:13 that I charged on my Arlington credit card, turned into something much more lucrative and unfortunately what I did not know was just changed. He was, you know, I guess the joke would be like, was he double dipping and it's like, what's that times 50? He was just, you know, he was taking and it was real nefarious.
Starting point is 00:06:35 And it left me in a place where all those years of 16 years he'd become an overnight sensation, not only did it hit the reset button, but it was like, I have nothing in the till. I'm quite literally, you know, trying to figure out like it was fascinating because you because I was like, I still have my creativity. I still have this fan base, but I don't have the monetization to just do whatever I want in this moment. It was almost like kind of weirdly starting over in the middle of my career. I called it the Empire Strikes Back,
Starting point is 00:07:07 saga of my life and career, because it got dark. And it got so, he was incarcerated. Yeah, he went to prison for eight years. Did you all just hear that? Maria Minino is just telling me, she's driving with you and Bosch. She's like, oh yeah, my brother's there. And like you literally drove by where he was.
Starting point is 00:07:24 He was at Middlesex County jail, which I think now is torn down. It might be a hotel, but at the time, he was, you know, probably peeking out a little window in that, in that jail in the Husqa. And that's the time that you're saying you conceived of this vision for what now I'm seeing in your special or the. Well, he was with me at the house. He was with me when I first was buying the house. And I didn't know that I really didn't have the ability, but he was telling me, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're good. And whatever
Starting point is 00:07:47 he was doing away from the porch that day was like preparing for his getaway as I was preparing to to buy my dream house, not knowing that I just, yeah, no, I was not solvent in that moment to be able to do that. Yeah. Because you bring you have a unique, even when you walk in the room, like you light it up, you have a really special energy, you have a success energy, or whatever that is. You probably call it charisma. You have that. And it's special. And you know it when you see it in somebody. But as I dove into you, my admiration for you really grew. I'm like, this dude has constantly had to overcome all kinds of stuff, all like really heavy stuff. And in the special I was moved by many things, but your face also changes in the special like I watched it twice and you tell the story about
Starting point is 00:08:34 that Chevy Cavalier by the way I really watched man. I love that car and you you get this gig and I think it's in Florida. That's right. And it's not paid. And you go, yeah, I'll go do it. And I don't want to tell the whole special away. But I call it a hell gig now. These are the, he's like, if you like comedy, hell gig stories, then mine was either going to break me or, you know, it incite me, you know, but everyone listen to this show, everyone, if you listen to my stuff, you want to do something great with your life. You're either doing it or you're trying to do it. And you are gonna have your version of this maybe multiple times.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Right. And then the crazy thing is then you may even get there and have it taken like you did. That's right. But could you? And not only that, but you may get knocked down and get up and get knocked down and get up and then get knocked down and get up. It's like, it isn't just a metronome rhythm of like, oh, if I take a knock, sometimes you're going to take a lot of knocks.
Starting point is 00:09:29 A lot of them. And you have taken them. And I always say the difference between winning and losing is so small in life and sports. We're talking football before we went on here. It's almost too scary to look at. And you were this close to going. I'm out. Actually, you did say it. So for sure. So you tell them a little version of what happened there like with the hot dogs and just unbelievable. Yeah, so I tell this bit about,
Starting point is 00:09:52 it's called the Wrath Scaler. And if you end up listening to it, actually, yeah, it's gonna be on Spotify as well too. So the album will be everywhere. But I would love for you to see the special because I think aesthetically what Marty Colner did as my director is absolutely lovely, but the bit is centered around. So when you're a comedian on the come up, there's no dental, there's no support, there's
Starting point is 00:10:20 no union, there's no nothing. And you just take these gigs sometimes that are, they might be, the middle of nowhere would make these gigs seem interesting. You're talking about places that seem like kind of insignificant, but it matters to get out on the road and build that fan base. So I tell the story of a humiliating,
Starting point is 00:10:41 bludgeoning, ego destroying, maybe even ego defining if we wanted to get into psychology of it all. Moment very early in my career where I was hired to do a gig at this place called the Wrath Scheller from Boston, I drove to Florida. The story I tell is probably a condensed version of a 24, 40 hours of my life where I was really rethinking everything.
Starting point is 00:11:04 Putting it out really in front of me and I'm sure you've had these great minutia conversations where you're really getting into beyond the nitty gritty. You're into the plankton of it all and you're going, I do not have what it takes right now to see this through. And to relinquish your power on that moment and know it's okay to know I don't have it all. I don't. I don't, but maybe from that, I can recognize the pockets, the holes, the voids and start getting the education and information to fill those things in.
Starting point is 00:11:34 But you need to have it almost like break apart and crack apart and break you in order to go, oh, yeah, this is life. This is life, identifying that void and going, I need material in there, not, you know, comedy, I need stuff in there to, you know, to, adhesive for the dreams around it to come to fruition. He basically quits and then like a few minutes later goes, no, I'm not out. Don't tell the whole ending.
Starting point is 00:12:06 I want to see it. But I mean, the thing about I'm kidding, it's not the actual ending. There's a little bit more after that. But my dad was an alcoholic and when he got sober, I felt like I got sober. I said, Daddy, are you never going to drink again? I can't tell you that. I'm stuck in a drink for one more day. And when I was an entrepreneur, it reminds me of the story in the, I am more day. And when I was an entrepreneur, reminds me of the story in the,
Starting point is 00:12:26 I am an entrepreneur, but when I was struggling, which I still struggle sometimes, but when I was really struggling, I called my dad, I'm like, I don't have what it takes. Verbaton, what you just said, I said the words,
Starting point is 00:12:36 I don't have what it takes. I'm just not like these other guys. I'm just, I don't know, like I, I want it, but I don't think I want it like they do, or something missing in me. I'm gonna quit. Wow.
Starting point is 00:12:46 And my dad goes, I go, dad, I can't decide. I just want to do this forever. My dad goes, well, you don't have to. He goes, just don't quit for one more day. I just didn't quit that day. You know what I mean? I just didn't quit that day. And then the next day, the kind of the emotion
Starting point is 00:13:01 started to wear off and my strength came back. And many, many times I'm like, I'm just not gonna quit for today. You needed to be depleted. You almost needed to run your battery out completely to feel that feeling. To have you had that, like in multiple, you say, like I've heard you say,
Starting point is 00:13:14 like what you just said about the void or like that space, like that's where you've got all your info. Right when you've at the end of something in failures where you've gathered most of your info that's made you successful. Yeah, something about being completely annihilated sometimes emotionally, I think where you've gathered most of your influence that made you successful. Yeah, something about being completely annihilated sometimes emotionally, I think where you come back from that and start to recognize, or for me was, I don't need to do this the way that I think success is derived from.
Starting point is 00:13:38 I need to do my version of this and take it to where my success will be. Geez. And that was definitive in that breakdown side of the road moment. What I say now and kind of the way I put it together and what I think is kind of an interesting sound bite is like when you're at your rock bottom, I try to tell people, don't be so fast to come up for air. Don't get the hell out of there so quick. Take a beat, look around, accept that you're in this rock bottom moment because there's so much data and failure, there's so much wealth of information and hitting that lowest moment that when you finally come to the surface,
Starting point is 00:14:17 those are gems that you've brought up with you. And you only get them at your most broken, down at the bottom moment where you're not just on one knee. You're down on both trying to figure out like what you end up. You need it. You need that. Thank you. We could stop right now. Like thank you for that.
Starting point is 00:14:35 Like, I've had five, I've done about 500 shows. I've had five people who aren't in what I'd call the self-help motivational field. Right. Five that I've said this to. You should be doing this in addition to what you do. No, no, no, not because you need the money becausehelp motivational field. Right. Five that I've said this too. You should be doing this in addition to what you do. No, no, not because you need the money because you don't, because you really help humanity with it. Let me tell you who they are.
Starting point is 00:14:54 It's interesting. Jim Rome, the radio broadcasters, you come a dear friend of mine and he's starting to. Ironically, David Arnold, David A. Arnold who you and I were just talking about who sat in the seat year in several weeks ago and is no longer with us. I said that to Leanne Rimes about three hours ago. It was just here. It was one other I'm forgetting and you. I think it's the four and it's you. And I've thought this about you for years as I've watched you. I've watched you on different things and I've, here's all I know. I'll rewind and listen to you say it again. I've watched you in various different things. I went, I want to watch, even the special, I didn't, I laughed the whole time, but it's not why I watched it again. I watched it again because I wanted to be moved by a few of the stories in there.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Right. It's particularly like you're, and it's not just what you said, it's like, even with you right now, even though this is mainly audio, like your face, when you said your brother, your face changed, when you said that story, your face changed, when you said that story, your face changed. So it's at that place. The other thing I wanted to ask you about is, I know you've dealt with anxiety, and I heard you say something like,
Starting point is 00:15:55 there's a fine line between anxiety and something else. Right, excited. Man, I live this. So I think you say it way better than I can say it, and I'm the one in this space, so say it. What is it? Yeah, man, it was better than I can say it, and I'm the one in this space. So say it. What is it? Yeah, man. It was a eureka moment in my, I had never done therapy as an adult.
Starting point is 00:16:11 And after my, I'd lost both my parents to cancer within the same year around the time this stuff happened with your brother to close two years before. So I lose both my folks and I'm still in. Sorry, but I'll thank you, man. Thank you. Yeah. And I'm still in... Sorry, but... Oh, thank you, man, thank you. Yeah, you know, I was, from that moment I was in like, running gun moment, probably for a lot of reasons. I was, I was not ready to accept that, you know,
Starting point is 00:16:34 my mom was my best friend. So I was like, I was not ready. I'd grown a great relationship with my father also out of alcoholism and we finally figured it out. It took us the last like eight years of his life. So I lose my folks. I'm still racing because I'm in this high watermark moment. Got the stuff that happens with my brother.
Starting point is 00:16:52 Then the career starts to come down off of it. It's like the echelon. It's all that's happening at the same time. And I finally realized, I don't know how to be sad. My dad was an athlete. I've got broad shoulders, but my mom was very phobic and very sensitive. I got the anxiety.
Starting point is 00:17:06 I got a heart of my sleeve kind of thing. And all of those things mushed together was like, I'm a guy that wants to put wind in the wind column, right? Like the dad. But I'm mostly like a very sensitive kid. No instruction to how to grieve. And to how to accept, like, you made it. And it's going to hurt because you're you made it and it's going to hurt
Starting point is 00:17:25 because you're going to fall. It's going to be part of that. Sitting across from a therapist one day and talking about anxiety and how I cope, you know, put the feet on the floor and I, you know, you rub the top of your legs and you put the tongue on the roof, you mouth and eight seconds in breathing. I knew all, 17 minutes if I can make it through, you know, I knew all the tricks, the life hacks. And he said to me, do you ever think that maybe in one of those moments where you're feeling really scared that you're actually anticipating? And I said, almost like there's a fine line
Starting point is 00:17:57 between my anxiety and excitement. And he said nothing, but when I said it, it was like meeting myself. Yeah. I recognized something in me that was like more apparent than even some of the other things I'd put on to show people. Yeah. And it was in that moment when I walked out of there that I, I subscribed to that and
Starting point is 00:18:18 I started to investigate, hey, you know what, maybe there are times in my life where I'm not scared, but I'm fooling myself into thinking are times in my life where I'm not scared, but I'm fooling myself into thinking I am and why is because I think a lot of people and I'm sure some of your listeners will understand knowing you're going to succeed is scary. Yeah. And it's hard to go into what I said on the Bert Christcher podcast. It's hard to say, I'm gonna win. It's scary to say that.
Starting point is 00:18:46 It's really putting yourself out there. But you know, and I know that when you're feeling it, you have to, you gotta run for the touchdown. You get like, if you were in sports, you'd be like, give me the ball. Yep. And I don't know why in society, I think we're in this place where it's not always,
Starting point is 00:19:03 we're not always allowing ourselves to say that person's, they're in a, they're sparkling. Yes. And like, let's let them have it. Let's let them go. We don't have to equalize all the time. Sometimes you feel behind everybody and that's okay to feel like I can't keep up.
Starting point is 00:19:19 And sometimes you're ahead. And in anxiety and excitement, I started to learn, I have to identify if I'm anxious, I need to be able to tell you and say to you, hey man, I'm feeling like a little scared today. I'm feeling like, and be able to do that, but I also need to be able to say to you, man, I'm really gung-ho.
Starting point is 00:19:34 Yeah, I'm really feeling it. And now I can separate those two things. And it's easier to compartmentalize my reaction to those things, because I know better who I am from them. So best thing I've ever heard man like I in my first book. I call them the butterfly moments of life Yeah, I was I got butterflies when some dude wanted to beat me up on the playground Right, and I got butterflies. I thought I was gonna hold my fist bug Yeah, yeah, and I've learned that in those butterfly moments
Starting point is 00:20:01 I've identified them as the butterfly moment is the universe God's way of going something real special could happen right now. And I've actually, like when I go speak, if it's a big stage, or 15,000 people, I get the butterflies, he's go, I'm scared. I'm scared. Now I go, I think I'm excited. That's right. But I didn't use the word excited until I saw you say it. Right. But to me, I call my first book, I call them these butterfly moments. I also don't want to live a life with no butterfly moments. You're engaged. Yeah. It's some point that sounds corny, but she gave you those. That's right.
Starting point is 00:20:30 Maybe she still does. In fact, I think sometimes how you know it's the one is the butterflies continue past the first or second date. Great identifiers of where you're supposed to be. Isn't it? Yeah. That's so that thing, that anxiety thing that we call anxiety or fear.
Starting point is 00:20:44 A lot of things with parenting is caught, not taught. Like I didn't turn out like my dad, but we do inherit our parents' emotions a lot. Maybe not their behaviors, maybe not their career, but we do inherit their emotions. My dad, till the day he died, he was a stud, but he would always say, I'm 45 years old. We have a great conversation.
Starting point is 00:21:01 Hey, be careful. He would finish every call, every minute, hey, be careful, be, what the fuck am I being careful about all the time? What is, it's embedding in me. There's lots of things to be afraid of. Yeah, right. But you don't do that as a parent intentionally,
Starting point is 00:21:14 but it happens. So I just think it's like, that's why I tell you you should be doing this. It's like, well, you know, and I do. I mean, it is in my standup. I mean, part of it like this. It's like I've figured out a way to like, not shield a real emotion,
Starting point is 00:21:29 even though there's comedy happening around it. So there are definitely parts in the performance where, I like to say now, like, I didn't expect that. I'll perform something and it's not just all the show. And I will say, sometimes I'll laugh, it's something in my joke to that is, sorry to be laughing, some of the stuff I'm hearing for the first time as well.
Starting point is 00:21:50 And I like that I'm cultivating the next incarnation of my standup career that it's, I'm not there to try to teach, I'm not, but I am trying to teach you about me. And if my experiences help you, then you're laughing and you're also getting a little bit of that data that I'm talking about. That's really good.
Starting point is 00:22:06 Yeah, that's really good. I love that you talk, you know, it's like when you talk about your dad, you made me recognize, like thinking about the information and sometimes the misinformation that, you know, we get from our parents, you know, from being, you know, encaved in the household and in a sponge mode of what we see and what we absorb.
Starting point is 00:22:25 And yet, isn't it? It's interesting that sometimes, I think maybe as men, and I'm just not trying to narrow it, but maybe men and women, but I think sometimes as men, like we take those things that we think are the signs of being a provider or being a... And with my dad, I was fortunate to have my mom always in my ear and saying, be the best parts of him. Remember to be the best parts of him. And it was a good little nugget that I hope
Starting point is 00:22:59 that I can impart, which is like, not all of what I am is what you need to be. If you see, if you identify great traits in part, which is like not all of what I am is what you need to be. If you see, if you identify great traits in me, give it a shot, those flex might inform you. But you don't have to be me, you don't have to be what my life is. I'm gonna have more fun being able to watch you. And I don't know, our dads or my dad
Starting point is 00:23:19 really knew how to articulate that. No, my dad definitely didn't. But I'd like to think, by the way, I just made me forget about myself. I actually think I have some of, I'm going to give myself a compliment. I, I think I took some of my dad's, my dad had great things about him. I think I did, by the way, everyone listening to this, you know, the key thing in listening to our show is the application of the information. So when he says something like he just said that's so beautifully profound and unique, what's
Starting point is 00:23:43 the application for you? Maybe it's taking the best thing from your children that are struggling right now. What's the best things about them? Emphasize those things. They could build their entire life around those things rather than focusing on their, they're not good at math and school and you're constantly beating them about their math scores. Maybe they're exceptional at geography or history or reading or what they're showing you in that moment. This is not my strength right?
Starting point is 00:24:06 So don't make me have to work that muscle Let's get to that right let's let's go to my strength like I I was terrible at math Thank God my what if I just spent my whole life trying to get good at math It has nothing to do with anything I do for a living right now Speaking of it. You know what the best advice your dad ever gave you us? Whether it was on purpose or not, does that, does something come to mind? Yeah, it does. I know the worst and I know the best. So the worst was he told me not to go into the business and ultimately made me, you know,
Starting point is 00:24:32 pretty wealthy. So that was a bad advice. But this may sound super corny, but my dad taught me to not, my dad was very liberal and a beautiful part of him was not to ever judge somebody that you don't know what the cross they're bearing. So that my dad was that dude that no matter how drunk he got or whatever he did, if there's a whole, everyone's getting money, if they're homeless, everyone's getting something we gave there.
Starting point is 00:24:53 I would, I'm not a highly judgmental person because of my dad. I love all people because of my dad, but when even when someone would misbehave or be rude or my dad would go, you don't know what they're going through. You just don't know. And I've been pretty good at pausing in my life to do that. What about yours? Oh boy. He had a few gems, but I think the one that always stays with me is he once said, well,
Starting point is 00:25:15 he said actually, he said one time, nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd. In other words, like building up my fan base early on, nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd. I think we're walking through like, Fangual Hall and we saw a few people like getting ready to watch somebody entertain and maybe do like some acrobatics or any, he turned to me and said, just remember that. Nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd.
Starting point is 00:25:33 So I took that early on, but he also said something and I know he didn't intend for this to be as instrumental. He once said to me, you should do more college gigs is when I was like first starting around Boston, those were good pieces. But early college gigs were all in no money. Like you show up at a cafeteria and you're like, you know, you're like a fodder for while they're eating their snacks and then you look up and there's a comedian there. But he said, you should do a lot of college gigs. And I was trying to be a club comic.
Starting point is 00:26:00 I thought that's the cool road. Yeah. And I said, why do you think I should do a lot of college gigs? And he said, I believe the things that you discover in your college years are the things that you take with you for the rest of your life, and you want to keep close. In other words, like the happiest memories of maybe what he looked at is maybe some of the best times of his life in the prime of his life. And to go, oh, wow, if you always have that group, then you might always be able to pay the bills because that's a group that will want to grow with you. And so that's when I started saying, I want to grow up, I want to grow with a generation of comedy fans. I don't know if I'll take it beyond. I don't know where I'm going to go, but I do know
Starting point is 00:26:40 I want to grow up with this generation of college four years. You were that intentional about it? Oh yeah, yeah, I was like, man, at 15, I felt like I was already, I liked, I was watching Oprah every day with my mom and having deep discussions about like, why are these people behaving and why that philosophy and the key to comedy, curiosity. And I was a curious kid. I was curious about even why I was the way I was and so I always kept that. The anirimes sitting right here two hours ago and said the key is curiosity wow success leaves clues by the way I watched over to now I have a show that's like that called change my own show yeah same thing mom. Quick plug. Where do I get to an experience? On Nozzie. Okay. Nozzie. Nozzie right now. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Excuse me. On Nozzie. Um, speaking of incarnations of you and your intention. So you all know who Dane Cook is, but you may not know how you know Dane Cook. You were the first, I mean, like real pioneering on branding, on social, on my space. Was that intentional? And what would you say to someone who is social brand reliant right now? Any tips on building one and any warnings about doing one? I'll tell you the key. Because this is the key. The key, the key then and the key now,
Starting point is 00:27:58 even though yes, there's algorithms and there's maybe corporate entities and there's trends and there's a lot of malarkey. What worked for me 20 years ago, and what I now like to say, it was TikTok 1.0, which was my space, the first kind of real, that in Facebook, is as true today, even though there's a lot of noise and distraction.
Starting point is 00:28:20 And what worked for me 20 years ago that didn't work for several other comedians and maybe some musician friends Was they'd set up a page and they had cool stuff on it, but you have to have soul Even in the digital realm You got to have soul you got to figure out how can I put some real heart and soul into this Static page with some videos or some cool font or whatever however you're Estetic however you present you can make it look fancy schmancy
Starting point is 00:28:50 But you got to put some truth in there. That's what resonates with people more than anything else Even if it's absurd truth even if it's like a reverent truth if you're speaking your truth You will find you're polarizing and that's good because you'll have definitively person on one side to love this And then you'll definitively have somebody on the other side that can't stop watching you because the truth is an Aphrodisiac and they want to come in and they want to point counterpoint with the people on that side You you you want that so if you don't have heart and soul in your in your space Then you're gonna see the numbers languishing you need that. Okay if you don't have heart and soul in your in your space, then you're going to see the numbers languishing. You need that.
Starting point is 00:29:27 Okay. Is there a danger in it? In other words, was there a part of you that goes, yeah, I did it. I mean, you probably would not be dangerous. Danger is derivative, meaning, meaning don't be derivative. You're going to see something that works once. And unless you're in the in the business of making one red hat with one green feather. And that's all you make and that's the aesthetic, then you're going to pigeonhole yourself quick. And so I think with truth, because truth is ever changing and you're ever changing and as a person you're ever changing, your experiences, be that in the digital realm. So good, dude. Allow people in even when it's like,
Starting point is 00:30:05 like, ooh, this is, it's hard to give your power to people. Like, you know, I know that you've talked about, like, you give your power to somebody else, and man, it's terrifying. Because like, what are you gonna do? How are you gonna hurt me? They're inner child in me. The person that you know, you know I have failed.
Starting point is 00:30:22 You know what broke me in my career. You could easily hit that switch and bring a lot of things that make me want to regurgitate. But because I own all of it, you can't hurt me with it because I accept my truth. I accept all the bad things happen to me, which is the conclusion of in your page, in your digital presentation,
Starting point is 00:30:44 if you're not derivative, if you can stay present zen, how whatever you call it, nothing's ever falling apart, it's only falling together. Adopt that, keep that and be truthful and love what you're doing in there and that's gonna give your page soul. And if you have soul, people swing through, hang out with you. Every interview we do when I'm listening to someone talk, I go, okay, that'll be the social media clip
Starting point is 00:31:08 It's like minority report you're editing and seeing I love that man problem is I don't mean to be blown smoke it You like every damn thing you've said so far would be the clip like I'm serious like every have you always been You're IQ this high have you always been this I don't what my IQ is. I just know that I am a passionate person and sometimes I ramble, but my curiosity has led to some definitive understanding at now 50 years old. I want to just be straight up, no nonsense, 24-7. Do you got me on a good day? Yeah, I came in here feeling like, downtrodden.
Starting point is 00:31:43 Yeah, I say, man, I need some pick me up today. Yeah, maybe you have the advice that I don't have, but like I'm gonna listen more than I am gonna jab her. Yeah, well, I'm glad that I, well, I would take you on either day, brother, and I'm here for you on those days, by the way. I mean that too. I, you're moving me.
Starting point is 00:31:57 So speaking of that, like opening yourself up to criticism, this man became hated to some extent. And even by peers that were jealous, you know, I've had, I won't, I've had mutual friends of ours tell me, you know what, I feel bad. I didn't like that dude for years. And then I got to know him. He's a wonderful guy. Right. Right. You know what I'm saying? I've had those. But like you, you moved so far in front of the line. So there's all these dudes that went that putting, it was off putting, well people went to traditional whatever that was
Starting point is 00:32:29 and you found a path that was yours. Everything you just said you did. That's why it's so powerful. What he just described, he did. The thing he said earlier about success being looking one way, this is the success my way. So he found his way and he just went, boom he's filling a rena's up and there's these guys that are great comics, but they're still
Starting point is 00:32:48 doing the clubs for 150 people. And you, you took a lot of criticism, right? And even in your special, I don't want to blow it, but you even say, I don't, I shouldn't Google myself. Right. So how, how did it impact you then and how should someone deal with criticism hate those things? You have a master class on it. Man, how did I deal with it then? Oh boy. Oh man.
Starting point is 00:33:13 It was, there was a lot of pain because I just wanted acceptance. I was still the kid who, you know, I told you I was like running, running, running, like success had me like on a tear. And then after a little bit, I remember exactly what the moment was or realizing, oh my goodness, like, I'm more that kid than I ever was before and all this success and all the adulation and all the good stuff that comes with it. You know, nothing was ever going to fill the void. Larry Moss is a great acting instructor. I had an opportunity to have a seminar with him one up private one-on-one and he said something that was just so prolific he said um he said talk to me a little bit about the void the the whole that you feel inside of you and I first I was kind of like you know I didn't expect that we're gonna go there in an acting seminar and I said I don I don't really know what you mean. And he kept on me, kept on me.
Starting point is 00:34:06 And they finally said, you know, that emptiness that you feel, that you take with you from when you're a kid. He said, what would happen if you stopped trying to cover it with things? What would happen if you stopped trying to keep it behind you? And what would happen if you showed people that void? What would happen?
Starting point is 00:34:25 And I went on stage that night and I started, I started the show in a way that I never had, which was I'm gonna tell people at the very beginning when I greet everybody how I truly feel. Again, that thing about soul and truthfulness because then the rest of the act is gonna take on a different vibe because now you know when I said, hey everybody, I hope you're having a good night
Starting point is 00:34:45 I'm having a rough day and I could get into it like whether I did or didn't I'm starting with an instant moment of truth Yeah, I'm not putting on a facade. Yeah, it's not show me that I'm telling you something real and I think from From that moment when backlash started to happen my initial feeling initial feeling was in such pain because I wanted the acceptance and I think I thought that show business or specifically comedy was going to be like athletics. You know, athleticism, my dad was, you know, into so many sports and I thought when you win, maybe it's going to feel like you win for everybody. And I thought I was winning for everybody. I thought when broke down that that digital realm. Yeah, I was I would that I would say Hey, I know um, you know, I was kind of a geek to be sitting at home doing all this stuff toiling on the internet
Starting point is 00:35:36 But hey, I think I broke the code to help all of us. Yeah And it wasn't received that way it was received from a lot of people in hindsight who would share with me like man I'd be on the road and all morning DJ's would say is like, why don't you be like Dean Cook? And it was me saying, like, don't try to be my success when I was saying, like, you know, you realize your success isn't the path that you think you need to be on. It's taking that and making a unique path. Well, I was that unique path that other people were being told, do what he's doing. And that didn't sit well with a lot of people. Didn't, brother.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Did you did it affect your confidence? Not on stage. I'm a pressure player. What does that mean? That means that the one place, even from the very beginning as a kid who felt so very insignificant and empty and was real hard on myself. kid who felt so very insignificant and empty and was real hard on myself. Something when I got on stage was like, just it felt like I'm in real time. When everywhere else I feel like very out of sorts and very kind of lonely or a wall flower
Starting point is 00:36:37 or no timing. And I think I got that from my dad. Athleticism. ready for the ball. Give me the ball and in that moment, and it was the one place that I didn't break my confidence, but in my personal life, I went through a real, a real topsy-turvy time, not feeling like, oh, I mean, I thought by breaking through, I would bring all the kids in the school yard to love me. I think that when you're on stage
Starting point is 00:37:05 or you're doing something you're called to do or great at, it's a moment of like full presence and you don't have the luxury of worrying about all these external things. It's like what I'm speaking on stage, like you have to be fully present when you're there. Right. And I think somehow the other stuff,
Starting point is 00:37:21 all my insecurity sort of disappear in those moments. Yet the minute I walk off, like the minute I walk off, how did I do? How did I do? I'm back to being that kid again. Love me. Tell me I did well. Was that okay? Where did I screw up? I don't know. Do you do that when you get off stage? I'm very insecure when I'm finished. When I step off stage, almost immediately, my heart rate starts to decrease. I have a really good resting heart rate, by the way, it's like 65 all the time It's good and I step off stage and by the time I get from the stay I eat this is like this even in arenas by the time I'd get for off stage 20,000 people and
Starting point is 00:37:56 Was in my dressing room my tea was ready with a little honey And I'm very chill and I'm zen because I know it's like I'm back to being that regular Human being I never chased the party after I never needed that adulation after the show Never I used to watch you thinking this dude so good looking every walks when Dane walks out It's like whoo, it was crazy crazy, and I'm like a lot of women and a lot of like this Attention is going Yeah, and a lot of women and a lot of like this. The attention is going ballistic.
Starting point is 00:38:25 That was not true. Well, I was probably having at it in the after party with my friends, but as far as like, I never needed the edge of the stage. The high of the stage is something that I know is only in one place and I don't try to look for it or find it anywhere else and it's just right there. Okay, if I'm pursuing a dream,
Starting point is 00:38:43 I'm listening to Dane Cook-Ren, as someone who achieves his dream, right? And I ask a lot of people, this by the way, everyone listening, are you starting to see a theme with successful people that are on the show all the time? Would you hear what he just said about? There's this void I'm trying to fill,
Starting point is 00:38:56 there's these insecure, have you, are you seeing a theme here? Here's a theme, there you. They sound a lot like you, don't they, when you get them behind a microphone, and they're not on stage, and they're in an environment where they can tell the truth, they've had adversity, they've had haters,
Starting point is 00:39:12 they've had setbacks, they've had insecurities, they've had strange upbringing, they've had people around them hurt them. They deal with the emotions you deal with, the fear and anxiety. Isn't this interesting, very you? And the reason it's so important that you accept that is because if they were super human That would give you a cop out to not making your dream come true
Starting point is 00:39:30 But because now you know they're just like you There's no excuse for you not to make your dream come true. That's why like Some of this hero worship stuff that you get when you go out or I get I it's enjoyable to feel but there's a part of me It's like I'm not any different than you. And I don't want you to think it because that gives you an excuse not to win. Now, what I'm wondering about you is, by the way, I said nothing because that's the clip
Starting point is 00:39:54 from the show, dude. No, that was like, yeah, man, that was it right there. I don't want that for people. No, I'm curious though. You caught your dream. Be honest about this, please. I know you've been honest the whole time, but like this is a hard one to be honest about.
Starting point is 00:40:09 Was it, or is it, what you thought it would be and or slash worth it? It's what I thought it would be where in the rare, air moments of success when you see something hit that like plateau that you're like, man, this is exceeding my expectations. And I always set high expectations. Where it meets it for me is how you can give back
Starting point is 00:40:37 when you have that light on you is awesome. And my favorite part of fame when I'm in a moment where it's like, the, you know, the ebvers the flow is when I feel important, I get to make other people feel important. And to be able to like, for example, like when I first broke through and I could do stuff with Boston Children's Hospital, a place that I was when I was four years old, they helped me through some stuff. And to be able to go like, oh, now I get to take some of that light and illuminate over there. That's the best part. When you're not in a famous moment
Starting point is 00:41:05 and you're not getting in one of those things for me, where I go to is not like, oh, I'm not in Vogue, where I go to is like, I feel like if I make it better right now, I could help more people. And so that's always a driving factor for me. So when I met fame, yes, all the fun and the cool factor in like rubbing elbows with my heroes and the cool factor in like, you know, rubbing elbows with my heroes
Starting point is 00:41:27 and most of them being cool, I don't think I met too many people that like, so for a number of reasons I can say definitively, like if when you're charging towards success, when you get there, a lot of what you hope for it to be can and will be there. Then there's some prickly parts and there's some bad contracts and stuff that in business
Starting point is 00:41:44 are gonna be like a little bit of like a Pupu moment, but for the most part love the the experience of being kind of in that inner circle. Okay, and you what about tying your identity to it? Meaning inevitably there's peaks and plateaus and valleys and everything in life There's you're we're gonna tell you relationship in a minute if you don't mind for a second, but in relation I've been in a long relationship. There's peaks and valleys and burritos in careers, in money, in notoriety and these other things. And I think it's how you deal oftentimes with the valleys of your life that really will probably determine the quality of it. Sure. And so you have this meteoric rise like anything. At some point, it's
Starting point is 00:42:25 not going to continue to go on an upward trajectory. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Where someone else gets that ride. True. And you're there. But maybe not like we were there before. What was that experience? Like I asked Sebastian because he's on that. Right. I said to him, actually, on the show, I said, are you afraid it's going to go? He goes, yeah, I'm afraid it's going to go away. And of course, he works his ass off to make sure that it doesn't, but in his case, and he would be the first one to say, there will be a point where it's not quite what it is. The zeitgeist moves on. And yeah, there's like, you're always going to have your ability to create probably something new and exceptional, but like what it was will not remain.
Starting point is 00:43:01 But it could be even better though, right? I think you're working it. I think it should be and it always will be if you're putting yourself in the right place. Maybe it's because I'm a different age, but your work impacts me on more levels now than just laughing before. Right. So, but what about this notion of, I think a lot of people tie their identity just the external. I'm a mother.
Starting point is 00:43:19 And so if their son hits three home runs in a game, they're real happy and proud. But if he's over three or getting decent school, they're not. Or I'm a, I, they're money or they're fame or their career or their body or their looks, right? Or, and there's a danger, I think, in that. So did you have to, did you, did you have a little of that? And did you have to find your identity? And I know you see it. Yeah. And in, in Hollywood, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, there's a lot. There's mainly their identity is tied to their notoriety or career. There was, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that hear a lot, like, there's a lot. There's mainly their identity is tied to their notoriety or career. There was, yeah, there was, again, with no playbook and there's nobody like, hi, I'm your liaison to fame, I'm going to help you, I'm going to help you work through like the columns
Starting point is 00:43:54 that you want to, you know, keep strong and the things that, you know, you know, are somewhat fabricated or maybe you're not ready so you can tell you make it. I was, again, fortunate, maybe had a great angel on my shoulder. When I first was putting myself out there on social media and seeing that it was working, I changed the banner of my first DaneCook.com page, which is still up today and by the way, above it all is on there. The first banner I created like a little HTML code banner it said, it said, if you're interested in my comedy
Starting point is 00:44:32 in career, I said, please don't follow me if you're not a fan of risks because I plan on taking a lot of them. And I gave myself permission right there to change and evolve and not be Johnny Bravo and put on the same facade or jacket. And I knew that also meant, oh wow, you know, I'm letting people know that they're gonna be able
Starting point is 00:44:57 to call me out on that moment and be like, oh, you're changing, you're different now. And I did get a lot of that. And you know what, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have done it any other way It's probably the best thing I could have done because where I didn't have the education of truly who I was or What it meant to be not in the public eye again full circle back to like who I really was that at least prepared me to go like Nobody's ever gonna be able to say I'm a phony
Starting point is 00:45:21 Yeah, because even though I wasn't always ready for moments and even though I was like a rag tag sometimes, what you see is what you get. It was the Johnny Carson. In between the jokes, you got to know who I really was. And I'm proud that I got to do that. And I would tell your listeners like, if there's one thing that you want to always rely on is that you're going to look in the mirror every single morning. And that's the judge jury. That's that all the intel and information is already right there.
Starting point is 00:45:51 Your whole day isn't the look you give yourself. You brush your teeth. You look away. I used to. I'd look away once in a while. Just said that two hours ago. Really? Yeah. Do you get up?
Starting point is 00:45:58 Do you do you smile? Be just for the sake of being awake and alive. I do, you know, remind myself, gotta stay grateful, gotta have gratitude. I'm a welfare kid out of Boston, I've had something, nothing, nothing again, something, it may be again, but the prospect of your day is delivered to you right in that moment
Starting point is 00:46:19 of looking yourself in the mirror. That's it. So start with some affirmations, or I still do, I learned it, I never had to go to A, personally, I've never had to drink in my life, but I went. I attend a lot of meetings. I love them. There's a lot of truth in that room. There's a lot of brave people in those rooms. Grant me this serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference between them. I say it every day.
Starting point is 00:46:47 Start your day off with that. I'm just looking at you like what in the bro, you're remarkable. Oh man, you don't, you're very, you're not great at that by the way. I'm watching you a couple times. You're remarkable. Like as a man, you're obviously very talented. You're very funny, you're remarkable. Like as a man, you're obviously very talented, you're very funny, you're remarkable. Like, you're literally right now, you're a performer and you are sitting here changing millions of lives potentially. Oh man, I just wanna make people feel good. Yeah, you, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:20 And sometimes like, I know the feeling of not being able to breathe because you're like, I'm trapped. I'm trapped in this life where I don't know what my path is and I know the feeling of not being able to breathe because you're like, I'm trapped. I'm trapped in this life where I don't know what my path is. And I know that feeling. And hopefully somebody can hear this and be like, I'm not trapped. I believe that the obstacles and the hurdles in our life are they're not there because you ran into them.
Starting point is 00:47:38 I believe you went towards them because you know that's the exact thing you need to break down and get past. It's so good. I really believe that. And you know, I got to shout out my mom because we've talked a lot about my dad, but I really want to say something
Starting point is 00:47:49 that a moment that resonated me. My mom took me to CET when I was a kid. It was at Christmas time that ET came out. Took me to FreshPond Movie Theater. Yes. Over uproot too, you know, Plains and Gears. Yes. Took me over there.
Starting point is 00:48:02 And we went Christmas shopping and she had like Christmas gifts for me and for us that she hid in the bags and put in the trunk and then we went inside ET and I loved it. I was like I was just mesmerized by this movie, right? Yeah, of course. We all were but I didn't know what I was going into and the music and the story and Elliot and this whole thing and I didn't know what I was going into and the music and the story and Elliott and this whole thing. And we left the theater and I wanted to talk about the movie because I was just so lost in it. And we sat, even though it was winter, we sat for a little and our bundled up coats outside
Starting point is 00:48:38 on the stoop. And I remember it. I remember it. I can see it. I can see how cold we were, but I was just you know, just on a little tangent and we sat, and it was even a little wet from the melted snow, but we sat there and choose answering questions. I was like, where is that place?
Starting point is 00:48:50 Who made that and spilled, and all these things I'm asking, and she's trying to help me to like, well, it's them, you know, they make the movie and they do this and, you know, you gotta write it, there's a writer. Well, we get up from this moment where I'm so filled with magic.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Yeah. And we walked over and the car had been stolen with all the Christmas gifts in it. My mom with her phobia went into a full blown one of the scariest she had spent all the money that we didn't have on these on Christmas and then to take me to the movie. And she went into like a fit and not in the funny way, like a fit. And we went from this thing of like enchanting entertainment to who like being so sad and broken
Starting point is 00:49:39 and it happened like that. It went from that moment and 10 steps later. And I think that defines everything that even today. I think everything in that moment was like, that's life, fun, funny, scary, sad, tragedy. And then she made a joke on the way home. Somebody finally picked us up and she said something funny and she's, I hope that jacket wasn't their size
Starting point is 00:50:03 whoever stole it. She said something and we she's, I hope that jacket wasn't their size whoever stole it. She said something and we laughed and, and man, it's like from my mom, that's all I ever wanted to get to in my career is a place where I could go. Man, I hope I can just give information in a way that's either useful or funny. Gosh. And that's kind of, that's the guy that's sitting here right now. Can I be useful and funny? And that, that tells the kid inside me with the little void and the,
Starting point is 00:50:27 yeah, that's it. That makes me feel like, oh wow, I can have moments where, little flex of my day where I feel like, of purpose. Yeah, can I answer it for you? Yes. Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm feeling it. You're, like, the synergy that we're creating here,
Starting point is 00:50:40 I feel like people are listening going, I'd like to be a part of that kind of thing. It's insane. I think I can. You, yeah, it's insane. You're the best storyteller, dude. You're the, yeah. There's a special in you, no pun intended,
Starting point is 00:50:54 that which we'll talk about last, but like, you're entering, I love watching someone step into like, their next level. Yeah, that's what you're doing. Yeah, I know, I'm feeling it. You feel it. I feel good, man. You're stepping in.
Starting point is 00:51:08 I'm the happiest and healthiest I've ever been, even when I look back on that kid in 0405. There's a lot missing, a lot lacking. And I'm happening now, be celebrating those fans of, again, growing up with it. Now their kids, their families are enjoying this new special. And I'm almost enjoying that period of time. Now, not with haters and all the ambivalence,
Starting point is 00:51:28 even though there's always a level of narrative, but the reality is I get to look back on that era fondly. And now I get to enter into this era smartly. Yeah, you know. There's a convergence of your talents and gifts with your life experience that are converging right now I think so that's what's happening feels and and as there's a there's a Part of your spirit that was always there that was gonna be receiving this that was preparing for this time
Starting point is 00:51:56 It's like really obvious to me. It's kind of like I'm watching you. You watch my face a couple times my Three-bon audio would know but I can feel my sort of my jaw drop a couple times here one of that I want to ask you a business question a couple of times my free bond audio would know, but I can feel my sort of my jaw drop a couple of times here. One of that, I wanna ask you a business question, a couple of things last. Are you betting on yourself in this special? Meaning it's not streamed traditionally where it normally would be. So, did you make a bet on you here,
Starting point is 00:52:18 or how did this all work? Because this is another thing that would speak an awful lot to your vision, your courage. I was watching you go, I think this is a bet maybe with some partners, but this is a bet. This is you. Yeah, he betten on himself here on this special. So tell him what that means and how that works. Because this is also another element of your vision because there's a few of you now that
Starting point is 00:52:39 are like, you know what? I am putting it over there. Right. Maybe they do or don't want me, but either way, I'm going out on me here, so explain what you're doing here. Yeah, whether they do it or don't want me, I didn't even enter into those meetings. Well, in your case, they don't want you, but some guys. Well, not everybody.
Starting point is 00:52:53 I mean, there's definitely like, hey, listen, this is, there's always clicks. And there's always places that you think, oh, I'm gonna have access and they're like, nah, we're good. Okay. And then there's other places that are like dying to have your business,
Starting point is 00:53:03 but for me, it wasn't even about entertaining those. It was about probably based on a lot of what I told you when I first moved into that house. I felt like I'm in a position now. I've earned back the ability to gamble on myself. And so I invested my own money and I didn't do it halfway. If you watch this special, you're going to see drone shots. You're going to see the guys who liked the Super Bowl half-time show came and looked like, makes my house look like a little red rocks,
Starting point is 00:53:32 a little amphitheater. Exactly, looks like. It's beautiful. And so the whole goal here was to, I've always liked to be a little bit of a disruptor in business. Yeah, I have. Because I don't like the way, especially young artists get stuck in contracts and their
Starting point is 00:53:51 IP becomes shared IP, which then really isn't. It's not there. It's not IP anymore. Right. It's something. It's a hybrid. And unfortunately, in a lot of those situations, there's a big contract. And the first three pages are for you. And then there's like 50 others that are for them.
Starting point is 00:54:09 And so what does that really mean in the long short? It means you spend a lot of time and more money kind of chasing your own residuals that you've earned from what you've created. And I don't do that anymore. I did it independently. I partnered up with moment.co, scooter bronze investment. Basically, what he wanted to do is create a modern pay-per-view, but for internet.
Starting point is 00:54:30 You can click on it. You don't need to subscribe to a streamer for a year. You can buy my special, enjoy it. And then at the end of that run that I have with moment, that contract ends. Everything reverts to me. And I get all the data, which the streamers will not tell you I want to know regions. I want to know analytics. I want to know gender. I want to know I want to know demo
Starting point is 00:54:51 I want I want all that that helps me to understand my fan base In fact, you'll wait years to get your Residuals and why does that happen to a lot of people that are not the chappelle and are not the sagoras and at the highest level? Well, they get like a brinkstruck or something backed up for them. But everybody else is dealing with waiting for residuals that they may never get, and why are you waiting?
Starting point is 00:55:17 It's because it's in the streamers bank account and guess who's getting the interest off that's right. Okay, right. So for all those reasons, I say no. Good for you brother. And I've put out something that I think is the best of me's right. Okay, right. So for all those reasons, I say no. Good for you brother. And I've put out something that I think is the best of me and I'm taking a gamble, I'm taking a chance and I'm hoping that people like yourself see my spirit
Starting point is 00:55:33 and are just very entertained because then I'll recoup and if I recoup, I get to drum roll, invest in the next thing that I wanna do my way, hopefully bring people something else that's pretty cool. So you guys gotta hear that, right? It's above-it-all, stayingcook.com, and let me tell you guys something.
Starting point is 00:55:49 It is, it's unbelievable. And by the way, for you entrepreneurs, you already just said, he just bet on himself. And it's really rare in this space that anyone's doing. There's like a handful of you that are trying to do this right now. And in Danes case, let me just say this because he won't say it to you.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Number one, you feel like you only watch like 20 minutes because it flies by. It's an hour, but it's so good. Like I found myself like, I actually wish it was longer. That's not a criticism. It just, that's how art should do, right? But like it, it's that good, right? So there's no, no laws. Number one, number two, it's cutting edge. So it's visually stimulating too. It's not, you're edge. So it's visually stimulating too. It's not, you're not just watching it do. The drone shots, I want to give it away. I just want people to see it.
Starting point is 00:56:29 The drone shots, the staging, the lighting, even the little flick to your producer in the control room where you could see it. Like every little arti-comer. Yeah, every little thing you did there, brother. I'm like, this is genius. So while somebody had said, I'm glad you brought up Marty because I do cut to Marty in the, in the sound booth.
Starting point is 00:56:44 And the reason, somebody said, you can't do that in a comedy special. I said, I don't want this to just feel like a comedy special. I want this to feel like maybe this is what a comedy special can be. You know, this felt like an award show where they cut to the booth and there's the director directing the show. And I'm on the screen behind him as Marty's like cheering. It really feels like I got to share, I got to put the legendary Marty callner on camera. And he managed to put me in the background on the TV. So I'm never not on for you.
Starting point is 00:57:12 Right. You are there. You're right. It was a happy accident. I'm like over his shoulder. We're having, we're having a lot of fun with this and you can, it comes through. Well guys, there's several million of you. Go support it. Go see this.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Yes. It's, it's real guys. It's like, I, I'm just, I, it's why Danes here. It's like he's, he's obviously several million of you. Go support it. Go see this. It's real guys. It's like, I'm just, I, it's why. Danes here. He's obviously here to serve you. He served you for the last hour. If you go see this, you're serving him, but you're really serving your family because you're gonna laugh
Starting point is 00:57:35 and there's nothing in the content that I wish we could get into it because there's just some lessons even with the stalker story, but we're not gonna go there right now. The last thing I wanna say, I wanna ask you about, because you did say it's the happiest you've ever been, you're in a relationship. The other thing you do, I don't know if you want to do it, but you're in love. But you poke fun at yourself, too, dude.
Starting point is 00:57:54 Well, every comic has to, you know, relationship humor is always in there. And I've always had, you know, so much relationship stuff, good and bad in my routines. And I thought, I need to talk about love. I need to talk about this relationship. I think the hardest I left is the part where you said, and if you want to tell a joke here, you know, because my girl, just so we understand, you'll call my girl from my fiance. We have an age difference. There's an age difference. Yeah. Where have you been all my? I don't know, don't give way to the fight side.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Yeah, you know, that's one of my favorite parts of the whole show. It's, I talk about Kelsey and I, and by the way, a lot of those jokes, the great thing about being with Kelsey is, because people go like, do she like these jokes? I go, like these jokes, you should hear the jokes that she makes. She has a savage sense of humor. And she's, you know, I knew she was the one.
Starting point is 00:58:45 And we're, I mean, it sounds goopy, but I'm just so happy, man, in my life. Something I always wanted to contribute to the other side, which I felt like I'd, I got to visit a lot of rare air in my life, and I'm grateful, but I never really felt like I had that right relationship that I'm like, this is something that I can put into my home life that feels as gratifying just for me and this other person.
Starting point is 00:59:10 So I'm there. You deserve it. Thanks, man. And you've made a lot of other people happy in your life and you deserve to be happy, brother. Thanks, bud. Thank you for doing this. Oh, man, I hope that's a part to it. This was really good.
Starting point is 00:59:20 I would love to part to it. Yeah. This was really. We'll do it again in a couple months once it's been out for a bit and like we'll get some real great, you know, feedback from people like let's see how it moved people. Okay. Guys, go support it. Go get above it all. DaneCook.com. And by the way, well, you're doing to go grab the power of one more of my book. Go to Nozzy, see Change or the Ed My Let and support that show as well. You guys go follow Dane as well. You can tell you're going to get not just laughing, but you're going to get life strategy
Starting point is 00:59:44 and something that will move you as well. Everybody, thank you, Dane as well. You can tell you're gonna get not just laughing, but you're gonna get life strategy and something that will move you as well. Everybody, thank you, Dane, thank you. Ed, grateful for you. Thank you. Share this with everybody guys. God bless you, max out. This is the end my let's show. you

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