THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Secrets To A New Life

Episode Date: August 3, 2023

Are you ready for the key to EXTRAORDINARY living? This episode that puts YOU in the spotlight as I answer your burning questions! Today’s episode is just me and YOU 1:1.This week’s question is…”What do you do on the days you just want to pull the covers back over your head and cancel your day? Other people I follow say this is self-care. Do you agree?🙋🙋‍♀️Want to submit your question to be answered on my show? COMMENT your question on this post! I’ll be reviewing them all!Watch/Listen to this full episode to learn how to master the art of BALANCE and CONSISTENCY, where REST becomes a powerful ally, and COMMITMENT transforms into an unshakable force.Burnout, fatigue, and overwhelm are all SYMPTOMS of a MUCH BIGGER problem that needs to be addressed. And pulling the covers back over your head and breaking all of the commitments you made that day will only EXACERBATE the underlying issue.Spend 20 minutes with me and I’ll reveal the DISEASE that is causing these symptoms AND give you the practical steps on how to get back on track!Before you give up on today, WATCH/LISTEN to this!

This is the Ed Milett Show. All right, welcome back to the show, everybody. I love our solo episodes because it gives me a chance to create specific content that so many of you are asking for. And at the same time often, I get a chance to answer your questions. Today, I get to do both. I'm going to answer a question that's been asked, and it's also content many of you have asked me to cover.

And by the way, if you ever have a question you want answered on the show, there's a chance it can happen. If you go to my Instagram at Ed Mylett, submit your question through direct message, maybe at some point I will get to your question on the show. And I love today's question because I get asked this a lot and I wonder where it comes from. And the reason I wonder is, although I'm on social media and I've been blessed to have millions of followers on there, I don't consume a lot of the content.

And I would recommend in your case that you be careful who you listen to. It's so hard, isn't it? As a consumer of content, podcasts, YouTube, social media, to know who's real or to know who to listen to. My only advice on that would be to select people that have accomplished the things in your life that in their lives that you also want to accomplish. If it's being an entrepreneur, find people who have actually built real businesses. If it's a particular, you know, you want to get your body a certain way or your emotions a certain way, your relationships a certain way, find people that have done this. Well, find wealthy people. If I'm going to go to a gym and have a trainer, I want somebody who's fit training me. Right.

And if I'm going to take advice on life or business or entrepreneurship, I want someone who's done that and I want them to have done it outside of just telling people how to do it. There's a lot of people to create content that I'm sure help people every day, but they've really made their brand and made their reputation simply telling people how to do things that potentially they've never even done themselves. I want to find someone who's real. Real recognizes real in life, right? And so this piece of advice that you're hearing on social media,

I have just a very different perspective. And so the question was, Ed, I'm listening to one of the people that I watch on social media on a regular basis. And this influencer woke up that morning and said that they just did not want to get out of bed that day. And they wanted to pull the covers over their head. And so they did. And they canceled the entire day. And they basically told us that some days you just don't have it, you should give in, put the covers back over your head. That's your body talking to you and cool it. Do you agree? No, I don't agree.

That doesn't mean I don't think you should rest. I think you should rest. I think you should schedule your rest. I have a weakness where I over schedule. And that's a huge mistake because I just have an inability to say no to people. And I want to help so many people. But I over schedule myself to the point where many days I wake up and I'm going, I just don't want to do this.

So I really relate to the thought. I think the solution is to schedule your rest. You do need to recuperate. You do need to reenergize, recalibrate, reassess, re-aud it your life, and just fill your tank back up. So those things that you need to do proactively, and obviously don't over schedule, and don't take a page out of my book, getting a better ability to say no. You know, a lot of times when I cover things with you on the show, these are things that

I'm struggling with myself or a struggle within the past, and I'm working through them, or I can tell you how I work through it and I became, you know, I overcame the ailment or the perclivity to do the wrong thing. And I wake up a lot of mornings, quite frankly, even to this day where I wanna pull those covers back over my head and cancel my day, but I don't. And let me tell you why I don't,

because every time you do that, you kill a part of yourself. Every time you break a promise to yourself, you're eroding your confidence, you're eroding your spirit. Remember this, I know I said this before, but self-confidence is the process of keeping the promises you make to you. You know, you're always building a reputation with yourself.

Are you somebody you can trust that does the things he or she says they're gonna do? Or are you somebody just when they don't feel like it, willy-nilly, pull the covers back over your head and pack it in for a day. I do not recommend you do that. You are losing part of yourself every single time you do this. Remember this, the longer you stay somewhere that you know you don't belong, whether that's in bed all day long or in a relationship you don't belong in or in a job you don't belong in or in anything you don't belong in, the longer you stay somewhere that you know you don't belong in or in a job you don't belong in or in anything you don't belong in the longer you stay somewhere that you know

You don't belong the more you begin to believe you don't belong anywhere You don't belong anywhere. That's a dangerous place to take yourself. Secondly When you break promises to yourself you a road that internal self-confidence that's so requisite and becoming happy and Successful so no don't pull the covers back over your head. I do not agree with that advice. I'm sure whoever this person is or these people are that are dispensing this advice are well-intended people, but they're just wrong about that. You should schedule your rest. You should not over schedule like dummy I do all the time, but you should definitely keep the promises you make to yourself. Let me ask you a question. I want you to think about this very clearly just for a second.

What if you committed to pick your children up from school? You probably do many of you that have children. You said, I'll see you at three o'clock. And then just at some point during the day, you're just like, I don't have it. I don't want to do it. No way, which pulled the covers back over your head and not pick your kids up. Of course not. Why? Because you love them so deeply. Maybe it's your parents. Which pull the covers back over your head and not pick your kids up? Of course not why?

Because you love them so deeply. Maybe it's your parents. What if you had committed to take your mom or your dad To a doctor's appointment that was very important to them and then as it got closer that day I'm not I just don't feel it. I got a rest But I pull the covers back over my head. Would you ever do that to them? Would you do that to your child? Would you do that to your parents? Of course you wouldn't. Why? Because you love them. So the only reason you would do it to you, the real, see the symptom is, I want to pull the covers back over my head. The disease is, I don't love myself enough to treat myself with the respect and the love and the care that I would my children or my parents. That's the truth. That intention, that forclivity, that notion of giving in and breaking that promise with yourself, the root of it, that's the symptom. The symptom is fatigue, it's being down, it's being tired, it's not wanting to do your

day. The diseases, you don't love yourself enough to keep the promises you make to yourself. You would never do that to somebody you love, so don't do it to you. You got to love yourself enough to say, nope, I'm going to change my thinking. Let me tell you what I think when I have those mornings and for the record, I have them often. I have them more than I should at this stage of my life. I have too many mornings where I wake up and I go, oh my gosh, I don't want to do this

today. Maybe I can cancel a few of the meetings, right? Maybe I'll cancel all of them. Yeah, maybe I'll just pull these covers back over and try again tomorrow. That's not who I am. And when those things come up, let me tell you what I do.

When I get to that point, here's what I say to myself, this is where most people give in. This is where most people quit. This is where most people settle. This is where most people rationalize. And I don't do that. This is where most people roll over. And I'm not most people settle. This is where most people rationalize. And I don't do that. This is where most people roll over. And I'm not most people. This is literally where winning begins and losing ends.

Or is this where losing begins at my let and winning ends and winnings not going to end and losing is not going to begin. And one of these little tiny decisions to give in, we know in our spirit and our heart, we've started to hurt our self-confidence, self-confidence is a process of keeping the promises we make to ourselves. It's a reputation with ourselves that we can trust us. When we give ourselves our word,

like we would to pick our kids up from school, or take our parents to a doctor's appointment, when we commit to us, it's not the meetings that you have that day that you've committed to them. That's not who you're canceling on. You're canceling on you. You committed to you that you would do that appointment. You committed to you that you would get up at a certain time. You committed to you. You drink a certain amount of water. You committed to you. You'd make a certain amount of context. You committed to you. You'd do something in a given day. Don't break those commitments you make to yourself. Keep the promises that you

make to yourself because every time you do that, part of your spirit, part of you, part of who you're capable of becoming dies with that decision out of weakness, decide out of strength. And here's what you're going to find out. Once you get moving, once you get up, once you get in the flow, God sends you the energy you need. You're not gonna die from overwork. You're not gonna, but what you do need to do, this is an indication, maybe you need to get smarter about how you schedule your time. Maybe you need to get smarter about what I don't do well,

which is saying no to people. You've got to keep these promises you make to yourself and you've got to make it a game. Listen to me. You'd be 90% of the people in your life by doing two things. Showing up, giving it everything you've got and being a good person. Let me say it again, you got to show up and that's not enough.

You got to do the second thing. The second thing is you got to give it everything you've got and you got to conduct yourself as a good human being. When you do that, you be 90% plus percent of the people. That last 10% that's a dog fight between the best of the best. And we'll see who's got what it takes. But you have this consistent process of your life. If I show up when I say I'm gonna, when I get there, I give it everything I've got. And I act in an ethical moral fashion. I'm a good person. I intentions are good.

You be 90 percent of the world. Believe it or not, I tell my kids this all the time. I told my daughter this yesterday. I said, Belibu, we're sitting out in the backyard talking about life and what college and what she's going to do after. And I said, do you remember this? The older you get, the more you watch out, human beings behave, you're going to find out winning is not nearly as difficult as you think, because most people can't even keep the commitments they make to themselves. Most people think showing up is all the battle, showing up's half the battle, showing up is not half the battle, showing up's half the battle, showing up is not half the battle, showing up gets you in the door. But then you got to give it everything

you've got on a consistent basis. And that has to be your habit, your ritual, your identity is to get everything you got. I'm to the point now where if I were to pull those covers back over my head, I have violated everything I believe to be true about myself. I violated my love for myself, my belief in myself, and I'm not willing to do that to me, not the other people, by the way, I would never do that to another human being either, but I'm certainly not gonna do it to me,

because every time you give into there a little bit, you crack open the door for it to get a little bigger, and a little bigger, and a little bigger. And before you know it, you're walking through that door all the time. So I would say that that is terrible advice with all due respect to people. By the way, I actually think people that have never done anything outside of social media could probably still help people.

I really do believe that. I think everybody has something to give and something to offer. But you have to be very careful giving in to the weaker side of you, giving in to really the devil in you instead of your higher angels, your higher calling. And there's going to be lots of days. Listen, if you're going to win, there's going to be lots of days where you just don't want to do it. And that's where winning begins and losing ends or if you give in, like I said, it's where losing begins. And it's insidious. And some people by the way have done pretty well for a number of years and they get to a point and they go,

no, I'm entitled now based on what I've accomplished, based on what I've been through, based on my story. I'm entitled now to cool it if I want to. You absolutely can, but that better be committed to everybody else. You better not be telling yourself and other people that you still want to climb the ladder, you still want to win, you still want to contribute. You can't do both.

There's nothing wrong, by the way, at any point in your life, and just going, that was enough. If it truly was enough, if you truly don't want more, if it's truly everything you need in terms of your emotions, your growth, your wellbeing, your wealth, whatever it is, your body, great. But if there's an inconscurrency between what you say you want and what you're doing and how you're behaving, that's a real problem. Every time you're doing something like that, you're either making a deposit towards your success, your peace, your well-being, or you're making a withdrawal. In the minute you allow yourself to make withdrawals prematurely, eventually that account becomes

overdrawn. And it's very difficult to get out of it and you have to start all over again. So why would you do this to yourself? You'd only do it if you didn't love yourself enough. So it's an act of love to keep your commitments. It's an act of caring for yourself. It's an act of nurturing yourself. And so I want you to look at that for a second.

Why would I do that? I wouldn't do that to anybody else. Why would I do this to me? You would only do this to you if the truth is you don't love yourself. And oftentimes we can't love ourselves if we're not being ourselves. We have to be ourselves. And to be ourselves, we have to conduct ourselves and make the decisions in our life and take the actions that are consistent and congruent

with who we say we are and where we're going. Now, I can say this to you. I think it's paramount in your life that you give yourself a break if you've made these mistakes. I am not here to tell you that I have never done that before. I don't know that I've ever pulled the covers over my head for a whole day, but I have certainly pulled them back over my head longer than I should have. And one of the things I have struggled with all my life that many of you probably struggle with is, I'm my own worst critic. I'm my own worst critic.

I was talking to a young man the other day who's struggling in his life and he's in therapy and does that some thoughts that really were pretty dark. And one of the things that this is real subtle, but I want you to hear me on this last, one of the things of always analyzing yourself, there's a danger to that. People that are in therapy or that consume a lot of personal development content, it's healthy to want to grow and to want to get better. But there's a flawed thinking for many people that are in therapy or consume self-help or personal development or entrepreneur or wealth content. And here's the premise. I'm screwed up.

I need to get fixed. I'm messed up. What are the things I need to do so I'm not messed up anymore? And when you do a lot of therapy or you consume a lot of personal development content, you can almost become too self-aware, too self-reflective as opposed to just being and taking action. It's healthy to be self-aware. It's healthy to audit yourself. But there's a point like everything work too much of it becomes unhealthy. And when you're constantly in reflection, you're constantly evaluating yourself. You know, you do something like, well, that's just my pattern.

That's just who I am. That's where I'm screwed up. That's what I'm trying to overcome. I better go to another event and other seminars and other this. And you really have built this premise that you are flawed, that you are screwed up and that you need to fix you. But what if that's not true? What if that belief in it of itself that you've been convinced of is your very issue, that the very flawed thinking that somehow you're screwed up in a mess and need fixing all the time, and you're always evaluating the mistakes you make to the point where you repeat them or evaluating why you do things or

why you don't do things or beat yourself up all the time. What if that's the real problem? And what if the truth is you're pretty damn amazing already. You're pretty awesome already, but you want to get better. You want to grow. See, at some point when I was raised by an alcoholic dad and trying to turn my life around, I was always like, well, that's why I don't do things.

That's what I got to fix about me. And I'm the one who always quits. I'm the one who always starts and stops. I'm the one who gets too upset. I'm the one who worries too much. I'm the one who lacks confidence. I'm screwed up. I'm just, I'm the one who always starts and stops. I'm the one who gets too upset. I'm the one who worries too much. I'm the one who lacks confidence. I'm screwed up. I'm just, I'm in personal development

because I need to fix me. You don't need to fix you. You're pretty damn amazing as you are. You're just trying to grow and get better. Very few of you need massive fixing. And it's this flawed belief that you're all screwed up. Because let me say something to you. If you're screwed up, we're all screwed up. The rest of us are just better at pretending we've got it figured out.

You want to know the truth? You want to know the real truth? I've had the top people in the world on my show. I've been blessed to coach some of the top athletes, entertainers, business people, politicians on the planet. Some might even say I'm one of them. And let me tell you something, we're all just trying to get better and grow. We're all faking it a little bit. We're all acting like we got it together more than we do. We're all acting like we got more answers than questions. The difference is the majority of the people that you see succeeding, that you see growing, don't spend too much time

and analysis of themselves, analysis paralysis. The vast majority of the people that are succeeding have the same issues you do, but there's a subtle difference they have inside, which is that I love me. I'm pretty amazing, but I want to grow, I want to contribute, I want to get better, I want to improve. That's different than I don't like me. I don't believe in me. I'm screwed up. I need to fix things in me. Boy, oh, boy, that's hard to overcome. And let me tell you what's likely to happen. You'll spend your entire life trying to fix yourself. Entire life and analysis, entire life coming from a place of lack of almost self, disrespect, self-loathing as opposed to self-belief and self-love. The premise is you must start with self-love and belief and then do things that reinforce

that love and belief by the way you behave. It's not good enough to go, I love myself, pull the covers over your head. All you got to do is love yourself. That's the other thing you hear on. So yeah, just self love, man. Enough self love. No, no, no, no, you got to act in accordance and treat yourself with love, with respect. If you were in a relationship with another person, not enough to say, I love you and then

treat them in an unloving disrespectful way. Both need to be required. You have to love them and believe in them and then treat them with love and belief and caring and respect. So it's not enough just to love them and believe in them and then treat them with love and belief and caring and respect. So it's not enough just to love yourself. You have to love yourself and then be willing to treat yourself the way you act, the way you decide, the way you think with love and respect and admiration for you. But too many of you that are in the personal development consumption space think you're screwed up. If you are, we all are.

You think there's human beings that don't wake up today and don't wanna do their day, that aren't sad, that aren't down, that don't feel lost, that don't feel invisible, that don't feel valued. You don't think people like me are very aware of what their weaknesses are, their mistakes. Of course I am. I wish I wasn't so darn aware,

but because I'm in this space, because I've done a lot of work on myself, here's the truth. You asked me to make a list right now of 20 things that are pretty amazing about me. It would take me a while, but I can make you a list of a couple hundred about things I don't like. Right now, this is at 52 years old, the blessings of a list of a couple hundred about things I don't like right now. This is at 52 years old The blessings of a lot of you know great things in my life But the truth of the matter is underneath that though. There's this belief. I'm pretty cool. I'm all right And I'm gonna grow and get better. I'm committed the rest of my life to the expansion of my being I'm committed to the expansion of who I am as a spirit and a soul and a man. I want to give, I want to contribute, I want to love, I want to improve my life and improve

other people's lives. I want more peace in my life and the lives of other people. I want human beings to treat each other more kindly, a little bit more gently, a little bit more love, a little bit more candor like what I'm doing with you right now. As a friend, I can tell you, more than likely, you aren't that screwed up, not that much more than the rest of us. But because you think you are, you will spend your entire life trying to move away from who you are, as opposed to move towards who you're capable of becoming. I want to recommend to you that you stop that. And guess what?

You won't want to pull those covers over your head anymore. You won't because you're moving towards who you're capable of becoming. You're expanding your being. You're not where you want to be, but you're heading there. And that's where self love begins. If you have this premise that I'm messed up, I'm screwed up, I'm so bad that I've got to fix me, you'll spend your entire life fixing these other things because ships don't sink because the water that gets around them, ships sink because of the water that gets in them. This is an internal gain. It's an internal gain. You have to keep the water off the inside of your ship and believe that you're worthy of sailing

to something great in your life and that you deserve it. And once you change that slight premise right there, that little premise, your whole world is going to change. And so no, don't pull the covers over your head. Take them off, roll out of the bed, hit the floor if you have to, get moving, get up and take some type of action. And when you begin to take that action towards growing to the new you, towards keeping the commitments, towards treating yourself with love and respect by keeping what you've said

you were going to do in your daily schedule and doing the things you've said, you will find more and more days where you can't wait to get up as opposed to have to pull yourself out of that bed. I hope today helped you. If it did, please share this episode. By the way, if you want more stuff, I've, you know, I have a friend, Brennan Brushard, who's got growth day, if you go to growth day, forward slash ed. There's content in there as well. Share my podcast, follow me on social media. And I just hope that today helped you maybe tomorrow,

think twice about pulling the covers over your head. Let's go do something great with their lives. There's too much of a beautiful, amazing world out there to hide and bet all day. Wonder, and by the way, hide in your office all day, hide in your car all day, hide in your insecurities all day. We can hide in a lot of places other than just under the covers. These covers can be a lot of different things. They can be our fears, they can be our lack of will

and a try new things. We can pull the covers over our head metaphorically and a lot of ways in our life. There's two beautiful of a world out there that needs you too much. Remember, I say this all the time. God did not give you another day because you needed one. God gave you another day because somebody needs you.

God bless you, everybody. Max out. This is the end my lecture. you