THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Strategies To Achieve Peace w/ Trent Shelton

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

Today, more than ever, PEACE is elusive for many people. We need to have more discussions about PROTECTING YOUR INNER PEACE so that you can CONTRIBUTE part of that peace to the rest of the world. That’s why this week’s guest, TRENT SHELTON, has a lot of things you’ll want to hear.  It’s rare that I ask people back on my show but Trent is one of those people you can LISTEN to and LEARN from over and over again. Trent is a former Baylor University wide receiver who also played for the Seattle Seahawks, Indianapolis Colts, and the Washington Redskins.  He built quite a following with a series of two-minute videos to track his efforts of seeking a better life which eventually led to him founding the Christian-based non-profit organization, REHAB TIME.  Growing up as a preacher’s son, Trent is well-rounded in SCRIPTURE and often draws on those experiences in his speaking engagements, podcasts, philanthropy, and other outreach projects  While football was his PASSION early in life, helping others has turned out to be his LIFE’S CALLING. Much of our chat is about combining inner peace and marrying it to YOUR CALLING.  So many people are still searching for those ANSWERS, and Trent is going to give you a lot to THINK about to help you bring clarity to your FUTURE. A big part of this is learning how to PROTECT YOUR PEACE.  And as Trent explains, the way you do that is by paying attention to and maximizing your AUTOMATIC and PURPOSEFUL minutes and REMOVING TOXIC PEOPLE from your life. Trent and I also get into how you can change your way of thinking when you can’t change your situation.  As you’ll also hear, PERSPECTIVE IS EVERYTHING. Both of us have also seen many people suffering from DEPRESSION.  If that’s not you, chances are you may know someone who is depressed.  One of the most important things you’ll want to TAKE NOTES on is how to overcome depression and what red flags to look for before those feelings overwhelm you or someone you know. UNDERSTAND THIS. Trent and I both believe you can have more peace in your life.  You can find it by sharpening your purpose, practicing more GRATITUDE, and being MINDFUL of the things you need to do. Finding peace starts with the INNER YOU. When you achieve that state of mind, all other things become possible.

This is the end my let's show. I walk back to the show everybody. I'm so excited to have my friend here today. This guy, he's perfect timing for me in my life. And so I know what we're going to discuss today is going to improve and change your life tremendously. And I just have this feeling I'm having him on again at the right time.

So this gentleman's been on the show. I very rarely have people come back twice. But when they really, really help people, I do it. So very few times, only a couple I had done that. But my friend Trent Shelton is

here today. Trent is an author. He's a podcaster straight up with Trent Shelton. This is podcast. And I think I would just call him somebody who, I guess a life strategist, but I just think he helps people manage

their lives better. And I want him to help all of you do thatist, but I just think he helps people manage their lives better. And I want him to help all of you do that today. And I think he's the best at what he does. So Trent Shelton, welcome back to the show, my brother. Yeah, man. I appreciate you, man. Thanks for having me back. It's good to see you.

It's good to be back on this epic podcast, bro. So thank you, man. Yeah. I'm blessed to have you guys know if you didn't see the show before, Trent was a professional football player, great athlete, but he's really found his calling and what he does now. So I got to tell you, brother, every year, I pick a word for the year. It's kind of like my theme.

So some year it's influence or contribution or strength. And this year, the word for me is peace. And as I was literally selecting that word, I'm not kidding you when I tell you, I thought about you. And because you talk so often about protecting one's peace, protect your peace. So I just want to start out today. What does that mean to you when you say it, protect your peace?

And how does somebody begin to do a better job of doing that? Yeah, man. So protecting your peace can mean different things for different people. For me, it's three words that I use to be able to keep my soul right, as I like to say. So, you know, in this world, especially as an influencer or especially, you know, you could be a businessman, every year, you're doing a mom or dad, there's so much grabbing at you. I mean, more than ever with social media, with this world and where it is. And so for me, it means disconnected from the world

and reconnecting to my soul. Because we live in such a noisy world, we're always going, going, going, going. We never have time to slow down and actually hear what our soul needs. And so in the morning time, usually it's my time to protect my peace. And so I'm out there in my backyard, in my hot tub and just sitting in there, a woman of my body,

but also just having conversations with God, having conversations with myself and just being grateful. You know, the thing that I say every single morning is, you know, the sun rolls and so did I. So I'm grateful for that opportunity. And so I would tell people out there, listen to this episode is, you know, what are the things that disturb you? What are the things that take away from your energy a lot? And some things are things that are going to do it as a parent or as a CEO. You're going to have to have, you know, a lot of people, you know, pulling at you and things like that, a support of our duty and responsibility. But also, what are some things that, you know, you're willingly keeping in your life that you don't need there?

That you're unwillingly allowing to drain your energy. So for me, it's protecting my energy, protecting my soul, protecting my peace, and protecting my life. And so come up with a system that allows you to enter the day more peaceful than stressful. So, you know, I study you. I study anybody come to the show,

but particularly people that I think can make a difference. I mean, I don't know if it's our athletic background or when you and I met for the first time of the house, I'm like, this is my guy. And so you do have that system. You know, morning, I think you call it automatic minutes. And then in the evening, you call them purposeful minutes, right? See, I did. I know my stuff. So what do those mean? What are automatic minutes and what are purposeful minutes? Absolutely, man. You definitely know it, man. So minutes. Absolutely, man. Yeah, you definitely know it, man. So, AM and PM, right? I mean, I put an intended that for your day, your time, because we know that time, we hear this often, man,

but this past year has taught me more than anything time is the most valuable thing that we have. I know we hear that, but I want people listening to this episode to really understand that and ask themselves, how are they spending their time? Now, the A.M. is the automatic minutes. These are minutes that are going to happen no matter what, right? I mean, if you're working on the five, you have automatic minutes that you have to be there.

You know, your sleep is automatic minutes. And you have about, I think, 1440 minutes in a day, about 500,000, something like that in a year. And most people are spending about 90 to 95 minutes in those automatic minutes. And they're not spending much time in the purposeful minutes. And the purposeful minutes are simply this, the things that allow you to bring peace to your soul, the things that bring the right energy to your life. So if you're working a non-of-five, that's automatic minutes, maybe your purposeful minute is your mission is your vision,

maybe your purposeful minutes is spending time with your kids. And one of the things that really helped me because sometimes those automatic minutes don't change. And one of the things that I pride myself in is taking my son to school. And it's an automatic minute thing for me, right? Every day from eight to eight 15, eight 20, I'm in the car taking tricks in the school.

And so I said, man, and I don't know if it's as purposeful for him as it is for me. I said, you know what? Since I have to do this and I want to do this, I'm going to make sure I find purpose in it. And so I can I kid you not, man, it is the most like joyful time of my day because me and Tristan have conversations like, you know, just man conversations, boy conversations, sports conversations, and with no interruptions. So now I've brought purpose into those automatic minutes. So the person watching this and listening to this and saying, hey, you know, I have too many automatic minutes.

How can you bring purposeful minutes into your job while you're there? How can you bring purposeful minutes into the things that you have to do, until you get to a place where maybe you don't have to do those things anymore. Oh, wow. So good. When you were talking, I let you kind of go on this too. I was thinking about, you can take people for granted. You were talking, Tristan in school and I was thinking, my favorite person to talk to, my favorite dude to talk to is my son Max. It's my favorite guy.

But you know, there are times, frankly, when maybe it's automatic and it's not purposeful. And I take for granted the fact that I'm going to get a chance to talk to him forever. It makes me emotional to think about how many times maybe we've just been automatic or I have been automatic and forgetting what a blessing it is to have this son that I love so much that I like so much in my presence. Who wants to talk to me about sports, about life, about business and how sometimes for me, maybe I do go automatic sometimes with my favorite dude. And so just you pointing that out and I was picturing, we both, you know, I lost my dad and then you've had a tough year, you lost your mom and, you know, your mom isn't going to walk

in a room and get a chance to talk to you anymore. My dad doesn't, I don't get another chance to have my dad walk in a room and talk to me. So everybody listens to what Trent says. The reason Trent's content resonates so deeply is common sense isn't always quite so common. And when Trent says things,

it's almost like a reminder to your soul of things you do know but don't practice most often. And he's one of the few people that points them out. I'm just curious, brother, with all the resources and tools you have, how did you deal with such a difficult year last year, whether, you know, if you don't mind speaking to them about how it impacted you and then maybe what you did to, and you're to use your terminology, sort of rehab yourself out of it. Yeah, man. I've probably been proud talking about it. But last year was the hardest year in my life.

I thought losing football was gonna be the hardest time in my life. The last podcast, that was it, right? But last year, not to spend too much time on it, but the month of March was a horrible month. And I say that at that time, I look back and I think it's a beautiful month. You know, and I say that at that time, I look back and I think it's a beautiful month and I'll maybe get into all the reasons why,

but I lost my mom. And I don't like to use the word loss, by the way. I gained an angel. So I gained an angel, March 7th, March 9th, two days later, right across the street, my baby girl, I'm four year old girl, I get over there and she's unconscious.

She got hit and head with a rock from a lung more two days later. And, you know, she's bleeding out her head, I'm holding her in. It's so hard to explain, I feel like unless you've been in that situation, it's hard to bring the words. And in that moment, I'm like, man, what is going on? Get to the hospital in the ICU and I get a text and they try to prevent it from me. But my dad was like, hey, I want to tell you,

I know how you are. Your grandmother's in ICU now too. That same day. My grandmother in the past two weeks later. And so this is what I realized. It's funny how life makes you practice what you preach even more and brings it right to your front doorstep. Yeah.

And not a beer, which a lot of stuff was starting to die when my mother died, when my grandmother died, my passion was starting to die. My purpose was starting to die. And, you know, there were a lot of people speaking to my life and giving me the right words and it helped. But it was one person close to me that told me something and I really needed to hear. She said, Trent, your life will never be the same.

And as hard as that was to hear, I needed to hear. Because in that moment, I said, well, either, I'm gonna stay in grief and suffering for the rest of my life, or I'm going to try to create this new normal. And I'll tell you the thing, man, and I really turn the page for me, we're losing my mother because my mother, man, I mean, she was my biggest supporter. I mean, when it comes to rehab time and everything, She spoke this into my life. I remember looking in the mirror, it was about maybe five months, man,

after Mark's surprise, September, something like that. I was looking in the mirror, game weight, trying to fight myself out of this silent battle and out of the struggle while trying to be there for everybody else and it was just tough. Looking in the mirror and I said, man, like is this it? And I've pictured my angels,

our grandmother and my mother, that sacrificed so much, that ran their race of life so hard, to give me my brothers and my kids, their grandkids, great grandkids, the lead on life is what I said. You know, it's like a race, right? Some people don't do their part and you hand off the baton grandkids, great grandkids, the lead on life is what I say. You know, it's like a race, right?

Some people don't do their part and you hand off the baton and your kids are grandkids got to play catch up. But my mother and grandmother, they gave me the lead on life. And I was just picturing them vividly just crying. I'm saying, I didn't die for you to die with me. I didn't die for your purpose to die with me. I didn't die for your spirit to die with me. I didn't die for your spirit to die with me. You know, I ran my race, celebrate my life, and use this as a reminder for one,

that tomorrow is a promise for ever comes with an expiration date. And a lot of us, we talk about forever. We don't realize forever will come to an end at some point. Use this to make you feel more alive. Use this to make you get the most out of life. Use this to make you go harder for your purpose and for your mission. Because if you don't do that, then my death is in vain and everything I sacrifice goes to waste.

And in that moment, I ask myself that same question when I die. Who I want to be the reason why my kids, reason why my kids stop where my kids lose their passion, why my kids stop going forward. And excuse my French, I said, hell no. And in that moment, the switch flipped for me. And immediately that grief starts to turn into greatness in my life. And now I'm using that as motivation instead of a limitation. All right, so powerful. That's hard to move on even from that point, man. It affects me very deeply. When it happened, you know, you got a million messages,

but after a little time I did tell you, I said, you know, because when we did the show the first time, my dad was sick and we were both talking about, man, I don't know if I lose my dad, you know, like, man, if I lose my mom, and then it happened for both of us. And, you know, I just remind you of what I've told you. It's just I'm just so proud of you because I believe you're honoring your mom and your grandmother with your life. And so many of you that are listening this, they don't have to pass away for you to decide today. You're going to begin to

honor these people that have been angels in your life with who you become and what you do and the difference you make and the courage you show. And if they have passed away, you can make that decision right now. I'm going to begin to honor them who I am and what I do here. And that legacy piece you say too, as I, you know, when I do pass away, I think a lot of times, Trent, people think everyone else is going to die except them. It's some weird thing in my, you know, everyone else, they're going to die. I, you know, I'm probably, you know, for some reason, it doesn't dawn on us that we too will die someday, our physical bodies.

And I want, you know, I would love that if my son were on a show someday, he thinks about me the way you think about your mom, you know, the way that I think about my dad as an example of somebody that I wanna honor. And so I hope all of you hold on to that. I just think that was an incredible point. It makes me very, Kevin Hart says,

sometimes say it with your chest. I felt what you said in my chest there, you know, I'd still do right now. But now there's the, so there's the angels in our life. And then there's the people that aren't angels in our lives. This is part of that peace thing. And everybody says all the time, hey, remove toxic people from your life. But here's the truth. Almost nobody ever does it. Almost nobody does it. They just don't. They go, I'm going to get rid of these toxic people in my life. Yeah, but you don't. You don't. And I think I don't know if it's a lack of courage or the ability to do it or if people feel like, well, then I'm going to be alone. And that's worse than this toxic person in my life.

But talk about, because you're just so profound about this, the way you say it, what do toxic people do to us? And then how do we find the strength to, do we remove them? Do we keep them at a distance? Like, what are your thoughts about toxic people stealing that piece I want this year? Or we all want? Absolutely. I'll just ask everybody's question.

And this question seems a little bit straight up in harsh, but it's the reality. You know, if you're in a situation where your environment sucks, your environment's terrible, and I want to be clear at, you know, I mean, sometimes we'll talk to people, you know, I mean, sometimes we got to look ourselves in the mirror and make sure we're not that person. It's take that responsibility. But once you understand that, you have the things around your life, you've got to ask yourself, hit your everything in your life as soil, right? Your environment is soil. The people that you're around, the places you take your life, everything is soil.

I believe that each and every one of us, we're a seed. We're a seed of greatness. We're a seed of greatness. We're a seed of goodness. We're a seed of a person being legendary. We have all of those qualities in us. I believe God made us that way. What happens is a lot of what we put our seed in toxic soil. And we wonder why we're not producing the right harvest for our life. Right? We wonder why

why we're producing weed. We wonder why we're producing things that end up dying. So I want to ask the person, listen to this right now is what type of soil are you putting your seed in? Because a great seed and bad soil will not produce good fruit. Will not produce a good harvest. And you got to be real with yourself. Do you want to live the rest of your life unhappy? Do you want to die unhappy? Do you want to die miserable? Because like you said, a lot of people are afraid they're afraid of their afraid of confrontation. They're afraid of what people are going to say once they make that decision because we know how it is. People will start to make you feel like you're the bad person no matter which you have done for them. They'll point out all the things you didn't do and not all the things you did do.

I think people are also, yeah, they're afraid to be alone, but you have to understand this about the journey. Sometimes it takes being perfectly lonely because I say perfectly to understand what being perfectly love feels like. So it took me in my darkest moments and my loneliest times to understand God's true love for my life. And once I realized the love that he had for me, once I realized how he created me, it became a lot easier. So I gained more confidence. I knew my worth and I will miss journey of being

the greatest me. And one thing about the journey that's true, the journey will always be loyal to giving your life what it needs. So as I walked down the right path, yeah, it was lonely at first. As I'm climbing this mountain, I've seen somebody else that was climbing the mountain the same direction. I've seen somebody else's. I went a little higher that was climbing the mountain the right direction. And you build this tribe of like mindset. And so, you know, another illustration just really quick. Yeah, please. It's, it's like, I'll just put it like this in my neighbor,

like two houses down where it sex is right. We're like in Dallas is hot. So we move here and my neighbor has like a palm tree and it was about fall time. So the palm tree, it looked good, right? And so when winter hit, the palm tree was terrible, right? The palm tree was bad. The palm tree withered away and died.

They have to cut the top off and looked terrible. And it made me realize it's true. Now, when people understand this, when you look at your life, and you look at yourself as that palm tree, right? You're beautiful. Everybody wants you. You're popular. You're popular tree.

But if you put yourself, right, you put that palm tree in the York, that palm tree wouldn't ever reach its full potential. That palm tree wouldn't be a palm tree. It would be a ugly tree nobody would buy. But if you put that palm tree in Cali, you put that palm tree in Florida, you put that palm tree in Hawaii, you put that palm tree in Puerto Rico, in the right environments, that palm tree, the lorifus, that palm tree looked beautiful. But what's your life? Yeah, you're that palm tree, the loricus, that palm tree, look beautiful, the witcher life. Yeah, you're that palm tree of all those great qualities.

If you're in the wrong environment, you will never meet the potential that your life has. Oh my gosh, man, I gotta tell you, there's some timely things with that on me. I made a post today, I think it said, not friends, not enemies, just strangers with memories, meaning that I think oftentimes that confrontation that we might have to have. And by the way, this is a people insight to Trent and I both.

I don't think I know you pretty well. You're not a confrontational person by nature. And neither am I. I hate to hurt people. And it's not even that. I hate how they might think about me when I do have to confront them. You'd think, well, two pretty successful dudes, both former athletes. Man, I'm a very unconfrontational person typically. It's something I've had kind of work on. But point of that quote that I just gave is that, you know, you don't have to hate

someone from them to be out of your life, but potentially you also don't need to remain in proximity to them. I think sometimes people come into our lives for seasons and they come into our lives to teach us lessons. God's brought this person. They may be an angel who's temporarily going to be in your life a year, five years, 10 years, 15, 20 years to teach you a lesson at that time. And then the truth is, if you really think about it, when my dad passed away and probably true with your mom as well, my dad lived 74 years. He was young, right? But the amount of people that stated my dad's life the entire 74 years until the end was like two people Right, so that this notion that as you said earlier Everything is forever and everyone is forever

Think about all of you listen to severe your 30s or 40s How many of you are really great friends from high school for most of you? Or grade school are still you're still communicating with every single day or 40s, how many of you are really great friends from high school, from most of you, or grade school, are still communicating with every single day. So this shouldn't change when you're 30 and you're new set of people when you're 50. And I think sometimes we just avoid that. So now, what I want to ask you because I've never heard it really said this way. So that's something we can change, right, is that the people around us. But then there are certain situations that just aren't changeable. You know, you've had an injury that ended a career like we both had, right?

Or whatever. That is not changeable. It's, it, that is a, it's a fact of life. It happened or there was a divorce or you had a bankruptcy or a business failed or someone did you wrong. So you talk often about being able to not change the situation but change potentially the way that you want. So go ahead, I'll let you answer that. That's so powerful, and because I get that question all the time, it's like, I can't change, or even teenagers are saying,

I'm in my parent's household, I can't get out this household, I can't do this. And if that's the truth, if you can't change the situation, you must change your mindset in the situation. You must change your mindset towards a situation. You must change who you are in the situation. And that's called perspective. Some I talk about all the time. Your perspective can be your prison or it can be your power. And so any situation that I know that I can't undo. I mean, even with my mother's passing, I can't change that. That's a situation I have forever. I can allow that

pain to control me or I can say, you know what? I can do something with this pain and and and and manipulate it to make it my power. And so I'm always making now, okay, how can I find power in this situation? You talk about the word for the year, right? One of my words always say is this, or monstrous is this is power. So when I can't change situations, this is power because at some point, I know I'm gonna look back and say, man, that situation I was supposed to break me

that I couldn't change at the moment. Maybe God was allowing me to stand that situation, not to break me but to build me. Not gonna look back 20 times in my life and say, man, I'm glad I stayed in that or I'm glad that happened because now it created something inside of me that if I were to move from that situation or I didn't have that situation,

I wouldn't have the experience, I wouldn't have the knowledge and I wouldn't have this trend from it. Yeah, that won't stay on that because most people know your story, but maybe they need to be right. Many may not. People that are new to my show or new to you. Yeah, that won't stay on that because most people know your story, but maybe they need to be right. Many may not, you know, people that are new to my show or new to you. But this whole thing that you are, this man you've become, was really born out of a situation

you couldn't change with your friend, right? Like the beginning of this version of Trent Shelton. And I think it's probably a great time in the show for you to tell that story. Because I think there's a lot of people, there are situations they can't change right now, combine with the fact that they're not sure what their purpose is or what their passion is or what to do about it. And you've become one of the biggest influencers in the world through what most people would view and was a tragedy with a friend of yours. So take everyone through that part of your story. It's the perfect time in the show because I

think they can see themselves in your story even though the situations are different. Absolutely. I was a college teammate, college roommate, even more than that, one of my closest friends in college. His career got cut short football player. What I mean got cut short,

he went through some trials, some relationship things. He left football team and you know, he joined the military and nothing wrong with that. But I just know that for him in conversations, he was selling. He was unhappy just being around him. I could just tell something was different. 2011. I got a call one night. I was actually on my way to our other best friend's house. And it's about running because me and my best friend We're just talking about him. It's like man We need to think of what aunt got a call from a girl who actually knew us that Baylor But she was in the corner. He worked at the coroner's office. She said hey Trent

And is here and I didn't put two and two together like okay like where like is he you know I don't where is he at he's like he's here and I was like what are you talking about? It's like I work at the coroner's office. He's here and it's still then registered Make a long story short and had committed suicide. They found him three days later with all the memories in front of him, pictures of people. You know, his football things and, you know, he shot himself in the head. And in that moment, it hurt because, you know, when you look at somebody, the first thing you go to is guilt. The first thing you go to is guilt.

The first thing you go to is regret and ashes. Oh man, I wish I would have. I wish I would have done more. And in that moment I knew that there was nothing I could have done more, you know, since the situation had happened. I remember going to the service man and I'm glad that you said it because being a speaker, being whatever people want to call me titles author all the stuff that people give me This wasn't something that I wanted to do. This wasn't something that I sought out to say. Who this is a great business I did let me do this. Yeah, no, it wasn't it was my promise to him at its funeral My promise and I love what you say man, you know, keeping that promise to yourself is so, so important.

My promise to him was like, I'm gonna live the rest of my life to help people with their self-worth. So when people see my videos and they say, Trent man, like you talk about releasing things from your life or getting rid of toxic things from your life, this is why. Because he had toxic things in his life

that he felt like he had no life anymore. And he felt like there was no reason to go on. And so with my promise to him and from that day, I started picking up my cell phone. I didn't have a father and start making these videos with just this. Yes. And have some camera that you're seeing now. Didn't have no microphone, just my cell phone. Yeah.

And I committed myself for the rest of my life. And I want to be clear about that, Ed, because I just feel like we live in a generation now where I don't wanna step on any, I don't mind stepping on people's toes, but I don't wanna make people feel a certain type of way by saying this. And hopefully you have your insecurities to the side.

But a lot of people, when they sign up for certain things, it's for external reasons. It's because they see a my let with, you know, this following, they see Trent show with this, but they don't know what we have endured and what we still endure while we're going through it. That's right. They don't have a deep rooted reason of why they want to do what they do. And every time opportunity to quit, opportunity to throw an attire, opportunity to detour to something else, to change, you know, there's people that's on there. And I want to be clear, it's okay to, you know, change different things. But if you're just changing because it's hard, because things ain't adding up,

because you're not getting the likes and the views and the money, all that stuff, I see a lot of that. And for me, I said, there's no negotiation with this. Yes. Like, I'm burning the boats, burning the bridge, and I'm signing up for this forever. So every time I want to quit, man, I picture his face, and it makes me go even harder. I hope everybody just hears what he just said.

I mean, it's easy to hear it in hindsight. This guy's a, Trent's a football player, right? And kind of then trying to find where, what am I going to do with my life? Imagine this that because of this tragedy in his life, a situation as we said in the previous conversation wasn't controllable. And he ends up becoming through grabbing his cell phone

and just starting to talk about this stuff. One of the biggest influences on the planet, hundreds of millions of views, probably over a billion, if you had it up all your content now, all of it combined, right? One of the most sought after speakers on the planet, podcast or author guy I've had on that, I think three people on my show only two times. He's one of them and that gives you an idea of how highly I regard Trent.

And a lot of you that are listening to this, you're thinking, I don't know what my passion is. Here's a place to look and it's not always there. Look for a real pain point for you. It's a really and it's not always there. Look for a real pain point for you. It's a really, it's not always there, but you go, what's a real pain point? Like for me, my dad was an alcoholic, my low self-esteem. That's the pain point of my life is become my work.

That's that thing Trent just used deep rooted reason to keep going when you're not successful originally. That's why this pain, it always says, has turned it into a purpose. That's usually where your purpose is coming from, is a place of pain from you. That's why you see some of these influencers that are super fit, that used to be super heavy. It was a pain point. Now, I want you to speak to this just one little element of it. And I don't know the answer to this. Was there anything about you prior to his passing that would indicate you should or would be doing this. In other

words, were you always someone who was very reflective about life? Maybe there was some gifts and talents. So I'm actually trying to pick this apart. I don't know the answer. Were you always sort of an extraordinary communicator? We always a deep thinker, sympathetic, gent, whether things about you or was this just sort of it ignited something in you, you had no idea existed, and there weren't any previous gifts or talents that would give you a perclivity for it. I'm just here, and I don't know the answer.

Yeah, man, that's a great question. I will say this, I definitely believe that there was a seed there, and that seed showed glimpses throughout my life, because I remember looking back, even I was four or five years old, whether it was my dad being a passenger communic a communicator, people always tell me, man, you're going to be like your father, man, you're going to be your great

communicator and the thing about it, even to this day, I don't communicate a lot. And my grandmother always told me this and bless her heart. She says, you know, you don't talk much, but when you do talk and open your mouth, people listen. And she told me that since I was a little bitty boy, she said, it's something about you that people gravitate to when you open your mouth. And I just remember all of those as we call them the church world, prophecies are calling us placed upon my life. I remember going to crusades with my mother at like five or six years old and pastors would speak into my life and say,

man, you're going to touch a lot of lives and I think it's football for sure. I got you. But it was this. And so there are there are oftentimes when people are placing call and don't you and let you know, but I will say this. When you're so locked in into what you want to do, a lot of times you become deaf and blind to what you're called to do. So it wasn't even on my radar. And as I think back now in real time,

there's so many times where this doesn't surprise me now, but I wasn't even focused on that. So I couldn't even hear that or understand that. Yes. So my hunch is that in most cases, that your purpose will come from a pain point. This is what I believe most of the time. And that you probably have some natural giftedness in some area that would lead you to be good at it. And it could be anything. Your nurturing

skills, your humor, your intellect, your touch, your sensitivity, your math skills, depending on what the thing is. But it's usually in hindsight, and you're exactly right, I want each of those. You're usually blocked by what you want to do and not being open to what God wants you to do in your life. For me, it was probably in hindsight. I was always at this deep voice and I was a broadcaster in college,

but I was so locked in on playing baseball. But that's what I was gonna do. I was not open to doing anything else, But that's what I was going to do. I was not open to doing anything else. And it wasn't until that dream ended, and quite frankly, I failed at it for whatever the reasons were, that God's big dream for my life, my God-sized dream was revealed to me. So some of you that are having this setback, I want you to speak to this right now, Trent, that may be the end of your dream, what you thought it was, and now you need to become more open to your true purpose

because that's the big one of your life, true. That's what happened with you and I both. A thousand percent, and this is a day, man. Sometimes it's an alignment, you know, man. Maybe you're the unicorn, right? Sometimes what you wanna do is allow a goddess called you to. I would say 99% of the time it's probably not. And I will tell you this, like,

in me, I feel like everything is preparing you for it. Because I feel like if I would have got this purpose when I was 20 or I've been walking in this purpose when I was 20, I wouldn't have been prepared for it. I would have fumbled it for sure. But it me going through football and going through the stages of my life, those pain points, me having problems. And I also think with purpose, it's about solving the problems that

you're passionate about solving. And now I'm able to help more people. But I will say this when you are in your purpose, man, you are, and I don't look you feel like this. And this is some of my thoughts about a while because a lot of people talk about imposterous and drawn and things like that. And I tell people, when you're in your purpose, it almost feels like it doesn't come with effort.

And what I mean about that, I'm not saying you don't work hard, you're not disciplined, but it becomes so natural to you. And it's so much peace surrounding. So once I started to walk down this path, even though there were no signs that this was it. For a while, there was a sense of peace and calm in my life from my creator that I believe that was like, this is what you're called to do. It was like I knew doors that didn't exist were going to open as long as I stayed loyal

to the order steps that God had for my life. And I cannot tell you how many times that doors will open, how we met. I can mean, I'm sure you have those experiences too. Yes. But for people with a posture syndrome and things like that, sometimes you're feeling like that because it comes so natural to you. And you see everybody working so hard

to try to force things that's not meant for their life. Like, man, why don't two things like they do? It's because you might be living in your true column. You're still right. Yeah, it feels like home. Even when I wasn't very good at it, even when I had setbacks, it just felt like home to me. And I know many of you heard this before, but God does not call to the qualified. He qualifies the cult. You're going to get really good at it if it's your calling. You're going to have the right people enter your life over time. And I just I strongly believe that one weird thing

about both Trent and I is that although we're both public people and we communicate kind of, I guess, to some extent in our different businesses for living, we're both very introverted people when you meet us. We're both quiet guys. And so it was one of the things that when you, even I met for the first time,

I was like, some brother from another mother because we're both sort of wired this way. And I think that sometimes people think they have to have every single piece of what they think is required of them to be great at it. Actually, you just have to have one, maybe two of those little talents or gifts, then you'll build your nation the way that you do it. So really good discussion. I know it would be today. It's really good for me. And I'm just hearing people right now go, I need to share this with people. Well, I want to talk to you about a little bit about trauma and depression.

And then we'll talk about something I really want to get into related to that. But more than maybe any time that I've been on the Earth for 50 years, I feel like people because of the pandemic and because of different things in the world and just all of the Stuff and some of it's very necessary stuff difficult conversations as culture and society We need to have to make progress and and then some of them that just get so bad red blue, you know

Democrat Republican all of this stuff that it's just Angry and down and oftentimes causes people to be depressed, to some extent, there's scales of depression all the way from me, I'm worried or I got anxiety to like really serious stuff that your friend suffered from. What would you say to someone who right now is in that sort of a space that like,

hey, I want this, I want my calling. I want my purpose. I want to honor my angels in my life. I want peace. I want all of that, but this is where I'm at right now. What would you say to them? I would tell you to develop some standards and instead of rules in your life. What I mean by rules are non-negotiables every single day.

And you can have rules for your peace, What I mean by rules are non-negotiables every single day. And you can have rules for your peace, rule the deal with your trauma, rules to progress your business in your life. Have rules and standards and principles that don't budge, that move you forward down the road, and fall in love with progression. Fall in love with knowing every single day,

I did something to create the peace in my life, because this is what a lot of people don't understand and I really believe this like you know we're the creators of our life right we didn't create our life our great creator did but he gives us the power to create certain things in our life and I feel like so many people they're stagnant they're waiting on somebody to open the door they're waiting on somebody to give them an opportunity they wait on somebody to love them they wait on somebody to you know help their self-esteem. And I just tell people, man, you got to create it in this world. And so whatever it is that you got to do, whatever it is that you need, your vulnerabilities, your voice in your life, the things that you want to strengthen, create systems and rules and

standards and boundaries that help you do that. And like, don't think that it has to be overnight, as long as you can look back at the end of 2022, and look back at the beginning and say, man, I've ruined these areas. Man, I leveled up in these areas. Man, I have more peace in my life. I have more fulfillment in my life, because I think that's the greatest success. More fulfillment in my life. That's where to joy, happiness, the word use, a lot bliss.

I feel like comfortable. So do I. I, uh, I think you don't always get your goals, but long term, you will always get your standards. And I love that you've used that term. Eventually you get your standards. Malcolm X had this great quote that I have everywhere. And he said, and sometimes you have to really not like where you are to move forward and he said that

Which you do not hate you will eventually tolerate and it's okay that you don't like where you are It's okay if you almost despise where you are because that can be a catalyst this old Attage of the dog who's sitting on the nail and he's barking and people go by goes Why is the dog bark and he's sitting on the nail like well? Why does the knee get up and move and people go by and goes, why is the dog bark? And he's sitting on the nail and they go, well, what is the need to get up and move? And they go, well, it's hurting them enough to bark about it, but not enough to get up and move and do anything about it. And so it's okay if that pain threshold reaches you. It's that's there for a reason.

It's helped to create your purpose. It's a catalyst to get you moving. So sometimes pain avoidances and always the best thing. Sometimes it gets leverage in our lives and helps us make moves. And you know, I often still leverage pain in my life. There's two catalysts in our lives, gain pleasure, bliss, and avoid pain and both work. And it's okay to use both those levers on yourself.

And that's why God gave us both of them. It's why there is pain and there is pleasure. So just remember that everybody's your listening to it. Big thing you'd be talking about lately, that'm totally on and I don't talk enough about and you do is red flags, which are obstacles. I think often, and what you speak to this, we're so in our lives. And then what you teach so well is like separating and getting away and getting peace and getting perspective that word you use.

But sometimes, including myself, I'm so in it that the signs that are around me, I can't see them because I'm not above them, but there are these red flags in our lives that you're the best at speaking about this. So talk about what they are, ignoring them and then what to do about them. Yeah, I think a great exercise is because you're right. I mean, sometimes you're so in it, you don't realize what's going on around you. And even for some of us,

like we see the red flags and we ignore it. And the more red flags you ignore, the more likely, you know, negative pain and hurt and heartbreak is going to come into your life. It's like driving down a road that says like dead end in a hundred feet. And you just keep driving. It says dead end in 50 feet. So the more you ignore those signs, the more you're gonna push yourself off a cliff emotionally. And so one of the things that I do, I need to do it more often, but I do every so often is,

whether it's visually or actually writing it down physically, I'll write down a list of things in my life. So I have a list of people in my life that I'm around. I have environments in my life that I'm around. I have things that I'm doing, right? Maybe business wise or whatever it may be in my life. And I ask myself a simple question. And use that three categories.

The one category is just stagnant, which is fine. But I have a category, two categories is peace or pain. Simple. And I go down the list and I ask myself, is this person, is this thing, is this habit? Maybe I'm having a habit, is it bringing more peace to my life? Wow.

Is it keeping me neutral? Or is it bringing more pain to my life? It is simple, it was so simple. I go down my bank account statements at times. And I ask myself, where I'm spending my money? Is it bringing more peace to my life, more stress to my life, or is it keeping me neutral? And I think the more you can actually see it and understand it, it gives you the awareness to be able to make decisions in your life. Because at the end of the day, it's like, if you keep, you said it's perfectly,

if you keep pain in your life, it is what you will continue to experience. And for most people, it's such that it has to be like this. Most people have to actually experience heartbreak, experience rock bottom for them to actually set some standard to don't budge in their life. For me, once I touch the fire, I'm not touching it again. I understand. I put my hand on the stove, it's going to burn. So once I understand signs, red flags, and one of the the the taxes that you can also do is have principles in your life. Right? Have printable good rules in your life that say, okay, this is what I'm about. This is what I accept. This is what I don't tolerate. Right? Whether I don't tolerate disrespect, I don't tolerate this. I don't tolerate that. And never let people make you feel stuck

up or too high for your rules and your standards, because people will try to make you guilty, feel guilty for that. And it becomes easier for me to say, nah, that I opportunity and for me, even though it looks good, because there's some things that are good that aren't great for you.

That person, the presentation is good, but some is off right there. The energy doesn't lie. Now, you know what, I'm gonna hold off on that. I'm sure it's allowed me to maybe, you know, meet some things in life, but I believe it's protecting me more from dangerous things more than ever. Oh my gosh, we're on such and sink.

So one thing is you do teach people how to treat you, everybody. You're teaching them with what you tolerate and what you accept. But it's amazing you just said this because really good friend and I were talking last night. I told him I was going to have this conversation with you today and you know this person. We were just kind of sharing our mutual affection for you. And he said, well, what's big mistake you've done that robs you of your peace? And I said ignoring red flags and relationships, friendships with people, red flags,

just ignoring them because I love the person and I believe in them, ignoring them. And then my inability to say no to things. That's a big thing for me. I don't like saying no to people. I don't like saying no to opportunities. I've done a bad job of purging situations, behaviors, and people in my life that robbed my piece. And I've used that word now purge. And so one of my big mistakes is just saying no, the energy wasn't right, I still did it. The timing wasn't right, I still did it. I'm triple booked, I still do it. And there's these things that just robbed my piece

in the pursuit of my passion. Sometimes I've got to learn that sometimes less is more, fewer is better. And that's a lesson, hopefully, that is I'm sharing that with many of you that you can learn for yourself because it's something in my sense that Trent has been good at for a while. I just know this because of different opportunities that come both of our ways that sometimes I've agreed to do that he's passed on. And so I know that for him as well. So, you know, I think people think big things make them happy. And what I love about your messages, it's

more about small things. And man, is that true? Having the blessing in my life of having some, by the way, I want to have big things. I want you to have your big payday. I want you to have that big moment that you believe will really deliver bliss to you in your life. But those big things, even if you get them, are gonna be very few and far between and very rare. Yet there's these small gifts around us every day that could deliver us bliss and joy and peace. So you speak the best to that. So talk a little bit about small things

and how you're just really good at appreciating that. Yeah, man, small things are everything. And I'm glad that you said that, because I'll say this to like, you know, I get the big things, you know, get the big, whatever it may be, like I think those things are a part of life, you should, you deserve those things,

but if you're thinking those things are gonna fulfill you, you're highly mistaken. And I don't wanna spend too much time on this, but last year, right? I just moved into a new house, I'm having huge following all of these things, right? But all those things couldn't heal the pain that I was currently going through.

And in that moment, I realized, and I already have the sense of this, but even more I realized, okay, this isn't what life is about. This is a part of life. It's a great part of life. This isn't what truly life is about. And then that saying, the best things in life are for free. I've always heard that, but it never really resonated to me until last year. And I start to realize like my kids, I start to realize my life, I start to realize my community, I start to realize my dad and my brothers and all my friends and said, this is what life is about. Life is about creating memories,

through experiences, because at some point in your life, memories is all you're gonna have to hold on to. God, thanks. And what I understood about with my mom, because when she had died, bro, like, I don't know if you did it, but I was like, everything she left, like I was doing her room, which side of she leaving,, bro, like, I don't know if you did it. It was like, I was like, everything she left. Like, I was doing her room. Which side did she leave?

And it was some things. And taking my text as much as I'm stopping to fit. A boy said, I believe it was her. She said, it's not about what I left for you is about what I left in you. And every time that I miss her, which is every day, I think about everything she has left in me. And a question if I can ask the audience just to to meditate on it, we wrap this up is get clear on what truly fulfills your life.

Get clear on what truly matters in a great exercise. Not to tell people, it is just pitch your life. The people, the things, and ask yourself this question on the scale from 1 to 10. If you lost it, how would your life be affected? If you lost it, could you replace it? And the things that are irreplaceable, the things that you say, man, my life will be crushed. If I lost it, you better start spending more time with those things and put value in those things because time is not promised with those things. There's somebody in your household

and hopefully it's years, years away, but there's somebody in your house and your family. It's gonna be the last person standing. I'll think about my house and I'm in, man. Hopefully it's my youngest daughter, the way life goes, but somebody in here is gonna live by themselves without other people. But I think about that.

So I wanna get the most out of my life. So develop your prescription for fulfillment. I'm asking yourself, where am I spending my time at? And am I spending my time on the things that truly matter? If you do that, you will get to the end of this year, more fulfilled than ever, because you placed your energy in things that generate it peace, generate it bliss, generate it joy back to your life. I love you. I knew it. I knew it. I knew if we did this today, it was going

to come out this way and there's going to be some spirit about the conversation that's just unbelievable. And I believe that's because that spirit exists within you, Trent. You know how much, you know, the more we connect, the more my affection and my love for you grows. And I want you and I to do more things together. I'm very grateful for today. Today brought me and millions of people more peace. It did. And for that, you've done noble work today, my friend.

You were right on your purpose today. And so thank you, brother, for the time. I'm very, very, very appreciative and very grateful for you. So thank you. Thanks, I appreciate you, man. It's easy to be vulnerable and be yourself when you're communicating with a person like you. So thanks for having a platformer.

Thanks for being who you are to allow that man. It's a gift. I appreciate you. I love you, brother. You guys check out Trends Podcasts. Check them out on social. Most of you probably already do, but you're missing out if you don't, obviously.

Unique man with a very unique perspective and gift and message and purpose. And so everybody else, hey, I hope that today affected you. I know it did. How can you pay me back? Because it's free. Pay me in Trent back by sharing this show with people that you love that you care about who you want to have better lives, who you want more inspired, have the tools to live happier and more

productive lives and max out their life. God bless you everybody. Take care. The Aton Milach Show.