THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Strength And Redemption w/ Granger Smith

Episode Date: November 7, 2023

“I LOOKED OVER MY SHOULDER, AND THERE HE WAS, FACE DOWN, INSIDE OUR GATED LOCKED POOL……HE WAS LIFELESS, HIS FACE WAS BLUE……”“THE DOCTOR CAME IN AND TOLD US THERE WAS ZERO PERCENT CHANCE OF HIS BRAIN EVER FUNCTIONING RIGHT AGAIN……”I warn you, this is not an easy episode to listen to, and you will cry just like I did.This week you’re going to hear the emotional and tragic story of country music superstar GRANGER SMITH.Every parent’s worst nightmare came true for Granger and his wife, Amber, in 2019 when their son, River, drowned in a pool accident, plunging Granger and his family into a world of deep despair.But his story is also about a man finding a path of REDEMPTION AND PURPOSE after a spiritual encounter, leaving the music business behind to pursue a future in ministry, which Granger details in his recently released book, Like a River: Finding the Faith and Strength to Move Forward After Loss and Heartache.Although losing his child is a difficult story to hear, Granger’s story is also about FAITH, HOPE, and finding PEACE after your world has been turned upside down.Since that moment, he has sought ANSWERS to the most profound questions in life, taking him in new directions he never could have imagined.Above all else, our hour spent together is a deep discussion of how GOD impacts our lives in ways we can’t begin to understand until we’re going through challenging times.From these times, one of the great LESSONS OF LIFE is that when rising from the worst of all imaginable tragedies, we are often reborn…And just like Granger Smith, we find our TRUE LIFE’S PURPOSE as part of our healing process. 

This is the Ed Milage Show. Welcome back to the show everybody. Today's a really special show for me for a few reasons. One is what we're going to cover. The nature of the topics we're going to discuss today. I believe we're going to move you and affect you. And I don't think you'll be the same at the end of this hour. That's my prayer. The second reason I'm be the same at the end of this hour. That's my prayer.

The second reason I'm excited is, I'm a fan of this man, just as a person, as I've got to know some of our mutual friends, got to know him a little bit. I'm a big fan of this man personally. I feel as hard in his spirit, even when he just instantly walked in the room now I felt it. Third thing is, as a fan of his music.

He's one of the great country music stars of the last decade and I've enjoyed his work and his artistry for a very long time. But he's sort of in this transitional phase of his life that many of you are in too. But it was born out of sort of a tragic event that I want to discuss with him today. So, Grainger Smith, finally, welcome to the show, brother. Man, great intro. Thank you so much, brother. I feel so much mutual respect for you as well.

Thank you, man. Tough to start this way, but I want to start this way. I want, I think, you know, so many millions of people obviously know you and your story. I found myself last night prepping for this again, and I'm going to do it right now. Crap, I'm going to do it. I found myself just in tears. myself last night prepping for this again and I'm gonna do it right now crap. I'm gonna do it. I

found myself just in tears For a lot of reasons not just what took place in your family But what I'd call almost like a heroic Response that you finally landed on that I'm so excited about so just for everybody's edification and knowledge Why don't you take us back, forget country music from it. Yeah, you're legend set that aside Something happened in your family just a few years ago with your precious boy river Why don't you just take the floor and tell everybody what took place? Yeah, June 4th 2019. It's about 7 30 p.m. And That's a beautiful time in Texas early June and and that's a beautiful time in Texas, early June.

And touring's great. You know, the sky is blue. It's before it gets too hot, so you get this blue sky and these big, fluffy white clouds and everything is in bloom. And I remember I was outside with my kids, three kids. And it was the night before I'm leaving for a summer tour. I was barefoot in the grass and the boys are playing water gun fight and I'm spotting my daughter

as she's doing some gymnastics. And my wife Amber's in the house, getting the house ready for bed for everybody to go to bed. And I remember out there just thinking to myself, I was holding my daughter's ankles and I remember thinking in that moment, soak in this moment, because it won't last forever.

And I was thinking, much more surface level, just the kids are gonna grow up. These are good times, we're living in the good times, the good old days are today. Suck in this moment. Everything was good, you know? Things were really good. And I'd worked hard for a long time to get to a moment like this

where work was great. The family was in a solid place. We had our three kids and that was it. Like River was our youngest, he was three and he was the caboose. We had the family. We had the dream house. Dream house, dream property. Everything we had built was there. It was good.

Shortly after I thought that that soak in this moment, I noticed that it was quiet. I've normally quiet for a three-year-old and five-year-old boy playing water gun fight. And I thought, where's River? And that's not a crazy thought. River was an adventurer. He was always an explorer. He was always the wild man of the house, wild hair, and bare

feet. And I looked over my left shoulder. And there he was, in her pool, face down. Inside the gated locked pool. And so part of my recollection is just disbelief. How did he get in there? I'm not sure, I'm seeing right, there's no way that could be him, but it is.

And I ran and I crashed into the pool. And I grabbed them and I thought, in my mind, I thought I was gonna grab them and flip him and he would be coughing and Scared and crying and I'd say buddy. What are you doing? How'd you get in here? You know you can't get in this pool. How'd you do this? Sun Lincoln wasn't around at all But that's not what happened Instead he was lifeless cold like a ragdoll his face was blue His eyes were rolling around in his head He was lifeless, cold, like a ragdoll, his face was blue.

His eyes were rolling around and his head, whore, absolute whore. Once again, my brain could not compute what was going on. He was limp, and I took his limp body out and started CPR. But I didn't really know it. Just what I'd seen in movies and I kind of knew, you know, breathe into his lungs, pump his chest, breathe again, not too hard, you know, don't wanna hurt his chest.

And then I remember thinking, maybe that doesn't matter. Maybe I break his sternum, maybe that's not a big deal, you know, all these thoughts just rolling around in my head. My daughter runs to get my wife. She comes out and I say I need my phone. I didn't have my phone on me. She goes back in to get my phone. She runs back out. We call 911. Dispatch is walking us through proper CPR. We lived out in the country. 10 minutes from emergency services, it seemed like an eternity. We would occasionally get him to cough, but it wasn't conscious for him. It was more just a reaction of his body with air and water coming out.

To say it was a nightmare as an understatement, going through this. It's every in there. It's cold here.. It's a whole door. Yeah. Yeah. Emergency services got there. Instantly got his heart beat back with electric shock. So I thought, whew, dodge the bullet, you know.

That was a close one. Police officers are kind of holding me back and trying to get me to calmly tell them what happened to them. It's a crime scene, you know, one just sweet heart officer came up this this woman and she said They're taking them to the hospital getting your car. Take your family and go And I said, okay, and I jumped into car We and I looked back and I saw that all these cops around the house and police officer, I'm a firefighter

and they said, go, we got it, we'll lock up the house. Chase the ambulance down the highway, got to the hospital, they transferred them to another hospital and they found out how critical it was. The second hospital, the children's hospital, they told us they said, he's very, very sick, but we still have hope. And so I thought, then, you know, I've just kept, these thoughts just kept coming back. Like, it's not as bad as it seems. Okay, maybe he's going to have some kind of brain damage.

That's okay, at least we get our little boy back. Then that all crashed when the doctor came in and said, there's zero percent chance of his brain ever functioning correctly ever again, 0% chance of life ever again. We looked at him and we said, can we have a second opinion? He was the only thing we could think to say. He said, absolutely brought in another team. Neurologist came in, they said, we're going to affirm the same thing you just heard, there's

no chance That was June the 6th 2019 for me You I'm so sorry number one. Thank you. I can't even yeah no one hearing this can Possibly imagine what those moments are like I have to imagine in those moments are like. I have to imagine in those moments, you're the sadness levels off the charts. You also have your wife there. You're worrying about caring for her. You're trying to process what you're gonna do with all. Is that what's going on at this point

or is it just all a blur at this point now for you? Yeah, it's a blur, but there are mixed feelings of what am I gonna do? How am I gonna tell the kids his siblings? How am I going to take care of my wife? How am I going to be the rock for this family? Those are certainly thoughts that are rolling around. I'm going to ask you when we get away from it in a minute, but there's a few things about

these moments that struck me. Obviously, hearing you say this to me, sitting this close to me, is different even than reading it. Although, and this may seem like a strange time to say it, but I so recommend all of you get his book. It's called Like a River, appropriately named, finding the faith and strength to move forward after loss and heartache. You decide at some point that there can be some good that comes from this with his organs saving someone else's life. Correct.

I want you to talk about that just for a second. And then also, there's this beautiful scene in my mind anyway, the way that you write it. Sorry, I have a, you're stronger than the second doing this than I am about one last ride for River with the, the folks that work in the hospital. And there's just this part of me that I don't know why, brother, but that's the part of the story that I kept playing in my mind. That was just so beautiful if you would just tell. No one's asked me that. And all the media have done for this book. No one's asked me about that. So I'll try my best to get through it. But in the book itself, what I've just explained is chapter one.

And so when people go, all this book is about the death of your son. It's like, no, that's the first chapter. The book is about what happened after that. That's right. The aftermath, all of it. I had to die after that, essentially. But there was this moment after that, after the doctor said there's no chance, and Amber and I went out to this little serenity garden.

And what we were doing was we had to go out to basically buy a little time and have a conversation so that we could tell the doctors, now it's time to unplug. That's what they're waiting on us to do. As it take you time, so we walked out to this little garden. At that point, we just made this really just unromantic, very business decision. We're going to stay together. Statistics say that we're supposed to get a divorce.

We already knew that. We said, we're going to make a decision to love each other and stick with this. I love it. I love it. And then we decided, okay, let's go back and tell them. Let's tell them they could unplug the machine. We go back. It's actually not what happened because Amber surprised me then in that moment. And as we are walking in to tell them to unplug the machine, Amber

said, we've made our decision and I'm deciding to donate his organs. I looked at her. It's not something we discussed. So this day, she says, she doesn't even know why she said it. It wasn't something she planned. And the doctors were caught off guard, and they said, well, okay, we're going to have to bring it another team because this now it's a new set of surgeons to have to come in. And we have to find recipients. And this is going gonna delay your process in the hospital on other at least 24 hours. But that was the first moment to your point that we felt like there was purpose in this.

And it may not be much. It's a thread. And a world of hell, this is a thread we're hanging on to that there's something that could be good from this. It's not all bad. It's the first time we realize that. And to this day now, we've met the recipients.

Have you really? Of the separate organs. And that's an emotional, just thought. Anyway, that he still lives on physically, physically in someone's body, several people's body. That's incredible Going forward from that We learned slowly that there were these these moments where we could feel Healing through sharing our story and having empathy with other people

What a huge lesson through sharing our story and having empathy with other people. What a huge lesson. I'm still learning it. You know, you're doing it right now. I'm doing it right now. That's right. I flew here to see you to do it again. I know. I'm so grateful you did.

Partly selfishly, you know? Because it's like, it feels good that maybe someone's listening and going, man, I've been stuck. I've been in this situation. And it's been 17 years. We lost our son., man, I've been stuck. I've been in this situation. And it's been 17 years. We lost our son. We lost, I lost my mother hypothetically.

17 years ago. And I haven't known what to do. And Granger's on here saying, man, reach out to someone. Tell him your story. Tell him you're not alone. Just that idea itself, you're not alone. It's healing for both people. Yeah.

I think of the lost, they could have lost in their world something that feels just as precious. There's nothing like the loss of a child, period end of story, there just isn't. But, you know, they could be grieving the loss of a relationship. They could be grieving the loss of some dream they had that's no longer existing. And people hold onto these things for years and years and years. And what's amazing about your work in this book is the answers and solutions that you've found yourself that we're going to talk about in this

interview. But I can't move off of this just because I want people just to picture this I think really rather Small quick but beautiful moment Where did you just in that moment decide I want to have him have this last ride this is river? I feel like I know him from from the first opening here in the book Like this was your wild man a little bit right like this was the dude who went fast. This was the dude So tell him what you do what you do. This is just to me beautiful. I'm going to get to that. And I'm going to say one more thing to to your point of there's nothing like losing a child. I hear that. And I'm not sure if that's true because it's relative to my life and it would certainly be relevant to your

life, but to someone who doesn't have a child, but they lose a father or a brother or a grandparent in their life. That could be everything to them. Somebody's father's everything to them. I don't love their father. I don't know their father, but they do. So I can't look at them ever and say, well, it's not like losing a child. Right. Good, great point. So I just, I have them ever and say, well, it's not like Luke's in the child. Right.

Good, great point. So I have to say that. Great point. But to your story about the last ride, River, he loved going fast. That was like his thing. He loved going fast. Whether it was on a UTV or on a little toy tractor that he had, battery-powered tractor, he had a go-cart.

He always loved to go faster, faster, faster. That's, that was his line go faster, faster, faster. That was his line. Faster, faster, faster. And as we needed to donate the organs, and they needed to take him into the other operating room to retrieve the organs. And they were going to take the machine off and he was going to breathe his last on his own. All of that we weren't going to get to see.

So they had to wheel him from the hospital room that he was in, down the hall to the other wing of the hospital where they're gonna do this surgery. And that was the time we would say goodbye when we got to those big gray double doors. That was goodbye. They would open the doors and he would go in. So as we started rolling it down,

this bed down the hallway, this had this thought. Here he goes again on wheels. I told the nurse, I said, amen. This guy loved to go fast. He loved going fast. You think you could wheel him a little faster. And he looked around and he looked at everyone else and had their hands on that bed and he goes, Hey, guys, we're going to set a Texas record today.

We're going to wheel this boy river fast down this hallway. And so they started up on a little jog, they started going a little faster, and if we're going on the hallway, the doors are open and on these all these different hospital rooms and people are coming out and clapping and cheering him on, I thought there he goes. He's going fast one last time.

He's going fast one last time. That's really good. It's a beautiful story, bro. Thank you for telling me that. I love you, brother. I love you, man. I love you, brother. I'm really happy man. I love you really proud of you honoring him like this. Okay. So, I'm in the self-help business.

You know that. By the way, it's how you and I know one another. I know your work, you knew my work. And, whoo. Okay. And I, you know that I believe deeply in a lot of the tools that I teach that other people teach and I know you do as well. But I've also, many times, been one of the few people I think in a space to say, but that's not enough. It's not enough. And there's something far more powerful that can help you in your life,

that can change your life, that can bring you peace, that can bring you comfort. Man's work stops at some point and then it stops working. And in your case, you did a lot of different things to try to cope and deal with this. So like one of the things that surprised me that I read is that you kind of immediately went back out on tour, right? I mean, how soon was it you went back out? Was it like, I think it was about two and a half weeks, it's like like that.

Pretty darn quick, right? And so talk about that for a minute too, and talk about also that you became, you said something essentially that the tools that you were relying on, whatever it was, the cold plunge, the visualization techniques, all the things that we teach, that sort of became the addiction for you. And at some point, they worked, they helped you, but at some point, they just didn't.

Is that fair to say? That's fair to say. I think so that I could qualify myself in this conversation and kind of give myself authority in this space. I'll just tell everyone that I, and I know you could echo what I'm about to say, the same thing. I was, I'm a very passionate person. I'm a very intense person. When I was adopted into the self-help world many years ago. I loved it. I could go by this checklist, and I could make myself better, and I could dial it in, and

I could confidently look at the world and go, I got you. I got you. I woke up earlier than you. I stayed up later than you. I read more than you. I worked out one extra rep harder than you. I stayed up later than you. I read more than you. I worked out one extra rep harder than you. I counted my calories. I know exactly what's in my body right now.

I am fueled. I am ready mentally, physically, spiritually. I am in. I gotcha. And I credited a lot of country music, our success to that. Because talent can only get you so far. Talent really is like a ticket that gets you into the arena.

But once you're in the arena, you gotta have something else besides talent. And I don't have all the talent in the world when it comes to music, so I needed everything else. But when I dial that in, I gotcha. And you're looking at me, because you feel the same way. I do.

It's very rare. I go into a room. But I don't think, I got everybody in this room. I've thought that for a long time. Yeah. I say that not to brag. Of course.

I say it only to qualify myself for this conversation to say that when I needed it, when I needed to save myself from rock bottom, it wasn't it. That's right. Yeah. I was crushed by the weight of the world on top of me and no amount of measuring out my calories and my macros, no amount of reading books, nonfiction and devotionals and meditation

and prayer time and medication, no amount of that saved myself from myself. What was the answer? Surrender Ended up being the answer. You know it took a long time to get to that and it took it took Almost killing myself really oh God. Oh Yeah, you want me to tell you that part? Yes. Yes Oh yeah, you want me to tell you that part? Yes. Yes.

I ended up and I'll try to abbreviate this thing. You don't need to. It was Boise Idaho. About seven months after we lost a river, I was, Amber and I were fresh out of pretty extensive therapy, pretty good therapy. You sounded like it. We traveled, we did the best that we could. And I was feeling a little bit better.

The slideshow was my biggest enemy and what that was, and I think a lot of people could probably relate, but I was seeing images over and over of the night we lost him. I was seeing, it would be like he was faced down in the pool. And then, I could hear the sirens coming in, blazing through the county road. I could see the electric shock.

I could see the doctor walking in to say there's zero chance. I could see that last ride to the big double doors. I could see my son Lincoln's hand on his little brother's coffin at the funeral. And he lifted up his hand and you see just the silhouette as his hand disappeared onto the red paint of the coffin. I could see that over and over. My brain was looking for an answer. It was looking for a resolution of something that it could not figure out. And I was haunted by that. It could pop into my brain in a conversation, mid-song, and singing in an arena. It could wake me up in the middle of the night.

It was haunting me. It was slowly killing me. And there was nothing I could do to stop it. Now, I figured out there were ways that I could dull it a little bit. And my weed pin was one of them taking marijuana vape. I was so surprised when I read that. I don't know why with you that surprised me. Just that one thing. I said, little things in the books that I'm like, I just, in your case, I just like the self-help guru stud, everything dialed in,

that surprised me. But go ahead, I want you to keep going with that. It's randomly surprised me. When a man is drowning, he will do anything to find the air. And I was willing to try anything. I remember when it first came up, someone said, you know, we helps a lot of people with PTSD. And my first thought was for lazy people. It's really, you know, that's my first thought.

That's for people sitting around eating popcorn and watching sci-fi movies, not me. Right. But then I was like, I'll try anything. I'll try anything. Yeah. And the first time I tried it, I thought, wow, I actually slept pretty good. It relaxed me. So I was trying anything I could. This led up to this one night in Boise, Idaho. We had a pretty good show. I felt pretty normal. You know, for a long time, I thought about River during the shows and I was thinking I felt

shameful in front of the crowd. I felt like they were looking at me thinking, there's the guy that lost his son. There's the guy that failed in the one task that every father needs to do. Keep them alive till they're 18. I got failed at that. I kept thinking. I was putting that on the audience as if that's how they were thinking of me.

Well, this one show, we come down, it's this crazy, just awesome, sold out tour, and we get to boys the Idaho, and it's just an amazing, we're doing two nights back to back. And after the first night, I thought, you know what, I didn't even think about River. I think I'm getting better. Like, I think I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel, I'm moving on, I'm doing pretty well at this thing.

And the band said, hey, we're gonna go have a few drinks at this little obscure bar by the buses. If you wanna stop by and I said, yes, I do. That sounds amazing. Feel normal again. I was never a big drinker to begin with, but I just sure didn't drink at all after we lost rev.

But I thought, I gotta go have a few cocktails with these guys, feel just a feel normal to feel like a guy again with my boys. We went in had a few whiskey shots, of course, on the rocks, because you know, got a count of calories. You know, that's still me. A few shots of whiskey, a few more, telling good stories, laughing, smiling, felt normal. Walked back out to the bus, it was in December, it was frigid cold, boys, the Idaho. And walk up to the bus and I realized, I'm a little tipsy.

Tried to do the combination code to the lock. And I was like, man, I can't even remember the lock. I've entered this a thousand times. I was like, one, five, I don't know. I finally got it open, walked in, kind of felt my shoulders brushing up against the bunks as I walked back to my back room in the bus. And I thought, man, this is the first time

I've been drunk since, that's when it hit me. Oh no. Oh no, this is the first time I've been inebriated since the accident. Will I be able to cope with the slideshow? Then that's when it hit me. Oh yeah, the slideshow. I fumbled around, found that weed pin, took a big hit of it.

I thought, okay, come on, come on. And it got worse and worse. It started just breaking me down, just the guilt and the shame, the failure that I was as a man, as a father. I failed. I let my boy down as if he said, Dad, you let me down, Dad, where were you? You were right there in the yard.

I needed you the one time I needed you. You failed me, Dad. And I start thinking about what was River seeing, going down in the water, I needed you the one time I needed you, you failed me, dad. And I start thinking about what was River seeing going down in the water, looking up, just looking at the sky above the water, thinking, where's dad? He's not there. This was killing me. And it was killing me. And I thought, all right, I reached in the drawer, pulled out my glock. This is the one way to make it all stop. And I felt right then, I felt, I felt a consciousness that wasn't my own

as if it was speaking, it was a thought, but as if it was speaking, it said, this is the way. This is the way to rest. This is the way to make it all stop. Just squeeze the trigger. The gun was in my mouth. That's when I realized someone else was in the room with me that night. I didn't think that. That wouldn't have come from me. I wouldn't have generated a thought that says, end it all, Granger, give up, quit. But yet something was thinking that for me.

That's the best way I could describe one of the strangest moments of my life. And in that realization that I was not alone came the next realization that suddenly I was under attack, I was in a war that I had no weapons for. I was flanked, surrounded, outgunned, outmaned against an enemy. I didn't even know who it was. And this was all in my mind, playing out.

And right in that moment, I just, I said out loud, Jesus, save me. Please God, Jesus, save me. At all God, Jesus, save me. It all went away. Slight shows stopped. The anxiety stopped. My mind went clear. I dropped the gun off, I slid off my fingers onto the bed

and I fell down onto the floor, slept in all my clothes at night for the only time ever in my life on the back of that bus and all my clothes at night for the only time ever in my life on the back of that bus, in all my clothes on the wood floor. And woke up the next morning with a new thought, a new mission. Who was this Jesus that I called out to that was more powerful than any thought I had outside of me? I knew Jesus, I called myself a Christian, my whole life,

I called myself that. But why was it now that this calling out to him in this moment could end everything, all of these thoughts for me? So that began a new mission for me. Who is he really who is the real Jesus? Wow you once that moment happens What did you call the type of Christian you were before there's a term using the book? I called it a dog tag Christian dog tag Christian. I mean you wear it. I got the tags on yeah world war two The print on your dog tag what religion are you so you know what kind of priest you bring your funeral sometimes? I wonder that about me, frankly. Sometimes, I think sometimes all of us wonder that because I think we have a relationship with Jesus

if you do that can ebb and flow like any relationship and you can get mad at him too. Something like this happens, you're like, what are you doing? What are you doing? I'm curious, by the way, there's so much to unpack that I'm just going to allow people to go back and listen to this again rather than try to unpack it because it's just too profound. But this slide show everybody relates to. If they've been with someone who's cheated on them,

had an affair at the slide show, it just plays, it just plays or a mistake they've made in their life. It just plays. And I think our minds think, if I just play the slide show enough time, something new will occur to me That some tool I've got will fix this thing and what it means to me and yet we've all proven to ourselves You can repeat this thing three billion times. There's no new answer coming your way from you or a cold plunge right it's not that it's not gonna be that and I've reached the same conclusions you have yet yet I have this vast toolbox of tools that I still use because God's put those people in my life that have given me those tools.

But ultimately for me, those aren't the final answer. There are steps that may get me in a position where I'm more ready to receive something, but that final answer is I've come to the same answer you have. I'm going to ask you some hard stuff now, though. I'm going to push you. Not that we haven't already covered this hard, but I'm going to push you on it. The slide show. Does that mean it never comes back again, or does that mean that you've got some peace and comfort when stress, guilt, shame does repeat itself? Because for me, you and I just share

the same belief system. So I'm just going to say it in our language, everybody can do what they want, but like the adversary still attacks. The adversary still is trying to get you. So for me, my peace and comfort comes from there as well. But I haven't escaped it entirely, meaning in my own case, the slide shows of my life have reappeared in my case. But that I know where I go for comfort and peace when it does reappear. Does that mean for you that at that day you've never had another slide show, you've never had another feeling of guilt or shame, or does it still resurface from time to time?

Yeah, I can answer that. That day wasn't the end of the slide show. Okay. But I wasn't ready yet. That was the beginning of the journey of who is this guy, Jesus. Okay. The guy that I called out to just instinctively

because that's what kids in America do. But who was he really? That began that journey. And so I still had the slideshow, but things really changed for me March 1st, 2020. That's when the slideshow drastically changed. And so to answer your question, I do still see the slideshow

even today, but it has lost its sting. Lost its power over you. It does not have its power over me. Yeah. What happened on March of 2020? During that journey from December to March, the first thing I thought was, I need a preacher. You know, I don't really know. See, I'm a guy, I'm a country music guy, traveling on the weekends. I didn't really go to church.

Besides, besides a kid, I didn't have any consistency in church ever, so I thought I'd want me to preacher. First one I thought of was Billy Graham. Yeah. That's the first name that came to my mind. I don't really know him personally at all, but hey, I've heard of this guy, looked him up, found out YouTube as a plethora of Billy Graham videos,

started just watching it. And it had an effect on me. It's like, I dig this, I dig this guy. I like what he's saying. He was, he was pouring the gospel all over the stadiums worldwide for decades, and it was having an effect on me so much that I started replacing some of the self-help audio books I was listening to in my truck. I was like, oh, instead of finishing that book, I'll trade it in for another Billy Graham classic sermon. People thought I was crazy. Really?

They were like, what are you doing, man? You're driving your pickup truck and Texas wind is down with Billy Graham's sermon planet. That's bizarre, man. One day, one of my friends goes, hey, I got some more stuff for you. There's some deeper stuff. Like there's this pastor named John Piper.

He's deeper, but he's super intense, very passionate. My wife is at a conference with him right now, as we speak. Is that his horse sitting here? Yeah. Okay. Or she loves him because his words saved her husband. So that's what she has attachment to him. But I liked this guy, John.

I liked his rhythm. I liked his intensity and his passion and his articulation of the gospel, specifically what's going on? What's the mechanics of what's changing within a man when he hears these words? John was good at articulating that. And it goes down to this one sermon randomly popped up on my algorithm on March 1, 2020, driving to Muchot County, Rodin, Texas. I remember everything about that morning, my hands on the steering wheel, the feel of the accelerator in my foot. I mean,

I felt I knew, I know what that moment was like when he was reading out of John 14. And he said this, he said, Piper's reading, right? And the disciple asked Jesus, Lord, why is it that you manifest yourself to us, that the disciples, but not to the rest of the world? Jesus answered him, if anyone loves me, he will keep my word. And my father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. There's a pause.

Pastor Piper comes in and he says, that's not unconditional love. That is profoundly conditional. Boom. It hit me. He reads it again. If anyone loves me, he will keep my word. And my father will love him in a way that he doesn't love everybody.

I thought, oh man, it hit me like a ton of bricks, not that I needed. He wasn't saying, if you want me to love you, then you keep my word and earn it. He wasn't saying that. He was saying, there's people that I love, that I will save, redeem, restore, forgive. And you could tell those people because those are the ones that keep my word, redeem, restore, forgive. And you could tell those people

because those are the ones that keep my word. And I thought, what's his word? I don't know it, I don't know all of it. So I went home like all in that moment. I knew that bus in Boise, Idaho, that I was redeemed, that I was saved, I was restored, I was adopted as a son and yet as a gratitude and humility and a response to that, I wasn't doing what he asked me to do.

So I went home and I told Ambra said, we're going to read the Bible. Not a devotional, not something that that commentates it, but we're just going to go to the word itself. We'll start, I don't know, where's a good place to start? Maybe the birth of Christ, Matthew 1. Let's just start there and she goes, okay, I'm in. I mean, we literally... You read the whole Bible, too, didn't you?

Yeah, I mean, we literally knocked the dust off of these Bibles that we hadn't really touched, calling ourselves Christians. Boy, I got in there. And seeing, reading the Bible in its entirety and truly digesting it is how we learn who God is. In the same way that you know your son because you spend a lot of time with him. So much so that if you go to a restaurant tomorrow and your son's not with you, you'll go, I know what my son would like.

I know what he would order. I know what he would not like. I know what girl he'd think would be cute. I know what kind of car he likes. You know him, you've spent so much time with him. So as we read the Bible, we start to learn who God is. When we learn who God is,

is the sovereign, providential king, there we go. Oh, I could surrender to that, not in a weakness type of way, not in a passive way, but I'm going, God, all my strength that you have given me, I hand it to you and I trust you, I follow you. And there is power in a man when he learns that kind of surrender. There is confidence, the shame, the guilt, the slideshow, lost its

sting. Yeah. But I gotta just tell you something, having known you before this and seeing you now. By the way, it's not like this is like a 30 year journey for this man. Like this, this is the last few years. Like the Holy Spirit's all over you. The way these aren't your words. These are the like, it's so awesome to be like are the... It's so awesome. For me, it's so awesome to see God's greatness pouring through you. There's evidence right in front of me. This is a dude who was playing beautiful music

three or four years ago. The truth is, really, most of these thoughts and words weren't within this man at that time, and now they're just coming out of you. I think so many people use guilt and shame as a weapon against themselves over and over again. And they're trying to somehow grab some strategy or tool to somehow rectify this pattern that they've repeated millions of times over and over and over and over and over. They'll be the slideshower the way they speak to themselves or all these other things.

And a lot of the things we teach here, by the way, in this space, I say here is if I own it and I don't, are incredibly valuable things. It'd be like saying that you shouldn't eat the food and the plants that God's planted in our lives. You're supposed to consume these good things. But if you don't understand the source of where they come from, the real source, when you really need an answer, there's going to be a time where you reach that place in your life where you're just like, it's not enough.

It just doesn't work. I can't go to that thing again, that trigger, that anchor, it just, it doesn't do what I need it to do. And I'm loving the way that also that you phrase this because it's interesting. You actually take away many of the objections most people have, probably unknowingly about these things. Like for me, I just, we'll just plug different things. Like for me, I'm a little bit cerebral.

It's my surprise people since my IQ's not that high. But I needed to see some like evidentiary stuff. So like Lee Strobel's work, the case for Christ, had a big profound effect on me, right? And I've also tried to surround myself in my life with people that are more knowledgeable about God's word than I am as I work on it to help me answer questions when I read something or when I navigate a situation. And God's put those people in my life also, but those people aren't my answer. Those tools aren't my answer. Men will eventually probably let you down and things of this world will probably eventually let you down.

But in my case, Jesus never has ever. And he can take purpose through your pain. You talk about this in the book, which we might as well get into a little bit right now, that you say there's really, you reference two things about pain. You talk about this in the book, which we might as well get into a little bit right now. You say there's really, you reference two things about pain. One is that it's temporary, I believe. You say that in the book.

By the way, the book made such an impact on me. I can like picture the pages right now as I'm reading it. I want you to talk a little bit about that. We found where your answer is. And by the way, you know what, I wanna go here first. You're so committed to what you've just discussed. Most people may not know this yet, but like he's completely devoted his life to do this. So tell him what you're kind of really not doing anymore.

Because it's not like a little thing, right? Like you've made a massive commitment. So if you're wondering like, is this is really interesting words this guy's got. Wow, really cool. I just felt really motivated and I'm gonna pick my Bible up. Mm, it's a lot more than that. So tell them what you've decided to do with your life as a commitment towards what you just described. This is, it's maybe a surprise for some people that I'm paying attention.

In the book of Matthew, chapter 13, look at you right now. Oh my gosh, go ahead. Hey, I gotta ground myself in the truth first. Yeah. Jesus is talking as parable. And he says, the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covers up. Then in his joy, he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.

So this is where I'm living right now. I'm living in a moment where I found this treasure, the ultimate value and I'm going, man, I found this treasure and I want to, I want to own this treasure so much so that I want to show everyone else this treasure. Now there's a word that we can't miss in that parable and it's joy.

Then in his joy, he goes and sells all he has and buys that field because you're, if you don't feel that joy, you're not feeling it right because I love this so much. I love this message. I love the healing that's behind it. I love the transformation that it brings not from me and not from my opinion But through the power of the word itself that the Bible says it's sharper than any two-edged sword piercing the heart That I've decided to to walk away from music Just so that I can get out write books and tell people about this message this treasure in a field. Did you hear that? So he sold everything he has. He sold everything he has.

And that's probably why it's moved me so much. I want to ask you about a tool that you got in the book and if this is part of that. So, because you did get some answers when you went to therapy, right? So there's this point. I was just thinking about you use the field analogy. This is how much I really read your stuff, by the way,

when you hear this. And there's this point where you're like, I think you tell the therapist, wherever I was, you go, look, I want to be a rock from my family. She says, well, maybe you ought to think about not being a rock, but being a tree. And there's this part of me that feels like that's actually really great advice, even though

it was sort of secular advice, because it's sort of exactly what you're doing now, is that there's like these branches that are coming from you with these deep roots, and you're almost, I love the parable of the sower, right? So it's almost like you are planting these seeds now that, you know, Grains, you're even someone listening to this right now. The cool part about how God works is that what you're doing is just planting the seeds. God provides for the harvest in people's lives.

And that harvest is gonna show up, man, these seeds you're planting in ways that you can't even imagine. In people's lives at different times, it might be somebody right now who needs that harvest. But there might be somebody who reflect on this conversation three years from now, right? And go, what was that podcast with my lead?

Ranger, I'm gonna go back and listen to it. And then there's a harvest then. But to some extent, isn't that sort of God's way of having you be the tree? I hope that doesn't sound corny, because I think I know what I mean when I say it. Do you know what I mean when I say it? I know what you mean, man.

I love trees, actually. So that was a great, and to your point, just because it's secular therapy, doesn't mean that it doesn't have truth in it. Of course not. Absolutely. Of course. And so he said, what do you want to be for your family?

I said, a rock. Yeah. Who else wouldn't say that? That's the answer. I want to be the rock for my family. And he said, who does the rock lean on when it doesn't have anything else? I said, oh, yeah, you're right. And he goes, that's why I suggest you become, you think of yourself as a tree. You could bend and sway with the storms. You could have

roots that go deep, but they can also intertwine with other trees around you to help you stand upright. You could lose your leaves, shed your leaves, the new ones will have room to grow then at that point. The more I thought about that, I was like, yeah, that's great. That's a great analogy. And then spreading that seed, there is a thought I have. And it might never happen Lord willing it would, that someone 10 years from now maybe could come up and go, Grainger Smith, yeah. I heard you, you don't know me, but I heard you on Ed's podcast about 10 years ago.

And you were that effect that John Piper was for you in the truck on March 1st, 2020. That was you for me, and I'll go praise God. Praise God. By the way, when you were just saying that just so you know before you said it, brother, I was you for me. And I'll go praise God. Praise God. By the way, when you were just saying that just so you know before you said it, brother, I was gonna say the Billy Graham. Or that.

The reason I was gonna say the Billy Graham is I didn't tell you this cause I didn't want to interrupt you. But for me, Billy Graham's been that person as well. No, by the way, most of you don't know, those Billy Graham's gone. Yeah. Right? His body's gone.

But I talk often times about, there's all these things you can't take with you, but there are things you can leave here. And these are the seeds that you plant. And those harvest can be many years from now. I love Billy Graham's work. I'm inside baseball stuff with you and I, I like watching when he's young

and he's in front of those big, you know, sell out arenas and Africa somewhere and there's a thousand people and he's just firing brimstone. And then if you fast forward everybody, if you ever want to do this. And then you go watch this man when he's like in his late or early 70s,

and I think he was even suffering at that time with a little bit of dementia, we even found out. But there's this beauty to this older man and his cadence is different. And then my God used him then was even maybe more impactful for me when I would watch this man's work. And so the reason I share that with everybody is, you don't necessarily have to be this like fire and brimstone amazing communicator like Granger is right now. Or even like you might

think that I am like God will use your tools, your giftedness in your way. Because the old Billy Graham stuff that I watch, there's something about this beautiful man as these aging and he's I you could feel that he's getting closer to coming home to Jesus. Like you knew he knew it. That was so much more impactful in warming my heart and giving me comfort to see this man still standing up when he might not even be able to remember everything before he would get on that stage about his granddaughter's name,

but somehow he'd walk out on that stage and start speaking God's word and the Holy Spirit just took over and he was beautifully articulate again. If you ever wonder what God's power can be in your life, it's actually go watch an early Billy Graham and then go watch the older one and you'll see. So good. You agree with that?

That's so good. And to that point, someone could be listening on, I can never articulate God the way these guys are doing on the podcast. But that scenario of me saying 10 years down the road, someone comes up to me, someone can come up to you, listener to this podcast right now, saying, hey, you don't know me, but I was bagging groceries for you 10 years ago

and you smiled at me. That's right. And I needed to smile and it changed everything. It changed the trajectory of everything I was going through. You don't even know it. That's what a smile could do. Yeah, amen, brother.

Like I think that that is that action speak louder than words. I respond to verbal communication like you do because I'm a very verbal person. But I gotta tell you, I've watched so many people in my life who aren't verbal, but do it kinesthetically. They touch people or they're smile or the way they listen with a non-judge mental heart that have made such a difference in people's lives far more profoundly than I

have in anything that I've done in my life or at least equally profound. So I just want everybody to be listening to this. What would you say to somebody who says, okay, I'm gonna push your heart. Okay, you ready? Yeah, you stumbled onto God because you went through a hard time. Yeah. Yeah, so that's what happens to guys when they go to prison too, right? All of a sudden, Jesus is a center of their life. And so what you're doing is you've grasped

because you needed something to hold on to. I told you I was gonna push you. Because I want the person listening to this on the treadmill right now, who's like, yeah, I wanna go all the way on that. And so what would your answer be to that person who goes, that's like, yeah, I want to go all the way on that. And so what would your answer be to that person who goes, that's great, man, when you're riding high and playing your music and there's sold out arenas,

you didn't need it then, but now that you've gone through this tough time, what would you say to somebody who says that to you? First of all, I would say, yes, you're right. Sometimes, so many times it takes tragic events for us to see that we aren't in control. Okay? So, hey, I'll give God the credit for that. Yeah, you're right. I was riding high. I didn't need him. Correct, correct. He knocked you down so that you could only rely on him.

And then you did. I would say, Amen, amen. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with thinking that way. Good. I think that was God's purpose. I'll let this guy ride high for a little bit. I'll let him see that he thinks he has the world at his fingertips. I'll let him build a platform. I'll let him learn on a stage. I'll let him learn how to communicate with people.

I'll get him the authority for people to actually listen to him and trust him. Then I'll knock him down, so that he could only trust me. And then he'll spin it around on his platform that he thought he built that actually I was building for him. I taught him how to use a microphone. I taught him how to have authority. Now, he'll show it from my glory and the people will listen. So to that critic, I'll say, Amen. Now, it's so good. Back to the parable of the sower. He said, you love the parable I do. We will find out over time, whether or not it was a seed sewn in rocky soil.

It grows up quick and dies off. But the seed growing in good soil will know by its fruit over time. We'll know it over time. So I would say, stay engaged with me. If I fall off tomorrow, you were right. That's off to you, my friend. But I would say I would challenge you to hang with me and watch me that we should be able to see my fruits over a long period of time. Amen. You know, the other thing that when you were talking, I want to say to you, but I want everybody to hear. It was just streaming at me as when you were talking.

Is that, here's what's awesome, you guys. Here's what's awesome, okay? God loves river even more than Granger does. Yeah, that's good. Look at you, right? That's good. And God loves Granger even more than any man on this earth could love him. And God loves you more. And that's just a cool thing that you get today, and you don't have to do

anything for it. You have to surrender to it, you have to accept it. But it's an unbelievable thing to know that river is actually with a father that loves him even more than Granger. Isn't that awesome? It's awesome to know that. I just wanted to tell you that, man, as we were sitting because I was hearing it as you were talking and I'm like, all right, maybe it's just my brain saying it and maybe this is some prophetic word I'm supposed to give you. So I wanted to say that to you. Amen.

And it's not, God doesn't have an obligation to let us walk through a life free of pain. It's in suffering. We're just all glitz and happiness. Would you do that with your son? Is that how you would raise your son? No, no, you wanna raise him so that he could be the best that he is

through adversity, through discipline when needed, through encouragement when needed, through fierce judgment when it's needed, but it's all because you love him You love him because he's your son and it'll always be your son. He is yours and because of that love the outpouring of that love Equals you're gonna be tough on him sometimes. Yeah. Yeah Is there a part of you looking at you right now going? Is it any part of this surreal for you? Dude, man I'll tell you what,

you want to tell me this, play this video back, and back in time, five years, six years ago. I thought this is crazy, no way. I'm just a country singer. Let me do my thing on the stage. Do you miss it? I'm trying not to answer quickly and say no, but that's not the right answer.

The right answer is, I love what I'm doing right now. So much. I feel so much purpose and fulfillment and glorifying my king. I don't really care about what I used to do. That's amazing to me brother and I love it and I see the sincerity on your face. So's listening to say they're like you know what? And by the way you don't have to wait around

For this tragic moment in your life to come to these conclusions you you really really don't and so I'm curious if someone's listening This today and they're like all right. We got the two Christian guys. I heard what they said today Yeah, but you know what this one landed on me different and I have this sense about the work you're doing, brother, that I think it's gonna land on people differently. That, and I just mean, I'll just say it the way I mean it, I think God's gonna use you in the unique way that he's capable of using you. And I think that it's gonna be massive.

Now, by the way, if you just saved one person, it's completely worth all the work. It's worth it. But I really do feel like it's gonna be massive. Now, by the way, if you just saved one person, it's completely worth all the way through. It's worth it. But I really do feel like it's gonna, it's landing on people differently, coming from you, the way you say it is a little bit different. You say it your way. It's landing on me differently.

Bowser, the other sitting here going, hmm. Okay, buddy, where's my relationship at right now? How much of the word have I been in recently? He brought up a scripture today, I couldn't quote and remember. I don't like how that felt, right? So you've done work for me today as well. But someone says, hey, I don't know where I'm at. I might be a little bit of a skeptic still.

I'm busy. I was gonna get around to exploring this part of my life once I wasn't so busy. I think a lot of people think that, bro. They're like, you know what, I even maybe you did when you were playing. You're like, you know what, when I get into my 60s, yeah, and I'm done touring.

That's probably the time where I'm gonna really focus on my faith life. The challenge is for everybody is we don't know. Everyone here knows my dear friend, Jesse Lee Ward just passed away 34 years old. I'm grateful for the fact that she did not wait to getting around to this. I'm also grateful for the fact that God put her in my life

and I could tell her what I feel and what I know. But someone says, all right, I'd like to take a step here. What would you say to that person? What would be the step that you think they should take? That's great. I'll preface that by saying that I echo you and I have a somewhat of a evidentialist mentality about me, right?

I got to kind of, kind of, things need to make sense for me. For everyone, it doesn't always have to make sense, but I'd like to put it together. I'm actually in seminary right now as an apologetic degree, a master's degree in apologetics is what I'm working on. Because I love apologetics, which is defending the faith, which at some level, you're gonna deal with some evidence and Christianity, as I have seen of all the faiths, it, I would say

to that, to a person on the treadmill, the hypothetical person on the treadmill, test it with the world around you and it seems to always come back at you making sense of the world around you. Yeah. If that makes sense of the world around you. If that makes sense. It does make sense. And to the person that's saying, what's the next step? I would say this, if you want to get close to God,

get close to his people, find that brother or sister around you that you know, I guess a Christian. Call him up and say, let's have some coffee. Hey, man, I'm thinking about this whole Christian thing. I heard this thing on my Let's podcast and I don't know. I mean, I'm kind of not really a faith type person, but it hit me differently. And I was wondering what your thoughts are on that.

Share some coffee over that. You wanna get close to God, get close to his people. What a great answer. You know, I've never had anybody say that to me before. Is there anything you wanted to add? I don't wanna interrupt you on that. close to His people. What a great answer. You know I've never had anybody say that to me before. Is there anything you wanted to add? I don't want to interrupt you on that. Just like, whoa, what a great answer. No, the last thing I would add to that is

that seeking that's inside you, what is that? I would ask you, what is that? You're feeling right now that's saying, hmm, feeling something, something stirring in me a little bit. Hey, be careful with that. That's how it starts. That's right. I know that feeling.

It could change your life. Be very careful. Brother, I'm amazed at how life can come full circle. So when I accepted Jesus that night, I'm gonna tell you this, because you're just gonna feel, you're gonna love this. I was on a boat top level,

like a two story boat, not a fancy boat, but there's these two dudes that I admired. Both guys I liked, one was like a surfer dude, one was a business guy. They're both very different dudes, but they're both Christian dudes. One big self-help motivational speaker dude, unbelievable guy.

The other guy kinda like a chill dude. I knew he had to divorce in his life. He's a real dude, though it had some stuff happen. And we were on the lower deck and I said, hey, I'd just like to ask you all about your faith. I've got some questions and stuff. And so they go, well, it's noisy here. Let's walk up to the top. We're walking to the top of this boat. And the thing that dude said to me is he goes, why do you think you want to know? What's this calling you've got to figure this out? Like, what's that stirring on you? What's that curiosity? Why is that such a big question to you?

And I said back to it, and I said, I think it's been a question I've been asking myself all my life. I think it's been a question going on in the back of my mind, the back of my heart, all of my life. It's just moved to the front for some reason right now. And so what you just said is so beautifully profound. Why is it that you want to know? Why is it that you're so curious? Because it's why you're here is to figure this out. It's why you're here. And I just have to tell you, man, I just think

I'm so excited for you because as I sit here with you, I see on your face, like, I know what it is in our faith life. I'll just say it in the way just like there's just a love on your heart right now and an excitement and an enthusiasm. And by the way, a giftedness, I'll just use my word. There's like an anointing all over you. And it's amazing that God took this unbelievably and you are gifted man. Obviously worked very hard at your music craft, but you're unbelievably gifted. And then you're willing to basically sell everything and do this. I'm super proud of you and moved by you. Man, thank you so much.

Seriously, bro. Keep flew all the way out here for today. I never rank shows. Just when I'm in the moment, I will just tell you that I have not enjoyed a conversation or been more moved than I have been today. Man, that means so much. I have, brother. Well, this show means a lot to me.

That's why we flew out here. It does. Thank you. My gosh, bro. All of you deserve to answer that question for yourselves. And I would say one of my recommendations is, and he said, go call that person. You don't follow Granger. Just follow him to see whether he follows through.

Follow him because he's that person you can have a cup of coffee with on his Instagram, reading his books, come and see him, money speaks. I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna do that brother. I'm still gonna make you pick up a guitar eventually and play some worship music. Come on. Let's do it. Thank you. Man, thank you. It was just thank you brother. Awesome. Freaking awesome. And usually I make the guest cry. You made me cry much times. You almost got me on that last ride. Come on. That last ride is just so beautiful.

Okay guys, listen to me. Granger Smith is his name. If you didn't know him, you've been under one of those rocks that we talked about earlier. The book is like a river finding the faith and strength to move forward after a loss in heartache. Go get the book. Just go get the book, okay? WebsitesgrangerSmith.com. Got a speaking date on there. Instagram's

GrangerSmith, the Smith's TV on YouTube. Just get, just follow him. He's that friend you can have that cup of coffee with whenever you want to. God bless you everybody. Max out your life. This is the end my let's show. show.