THE ED MYLETT SHOW - The Truth About Work/Life Balance - with Ed Mylett

Episode Date: January 7, 2019

I KNOW you have asked yourself time and time again "How do I achieve Work-Life balance?!" It is literally one of the TOP questions I receive on a daily basis. If you want the SECRETS to how I've been able to successfully manage my main business, 14 different "side hustles," my fitness, social media, my Podcast, my YouTube Channel, family and friends, charities, 4 homes, jets and boats that all require upkeep and Millions of people who depend on me on a DAILY basis, YOU NEED TO WATCH/LISTEN TO THIS NEW RELEASE! More people than ever before are finding they have less time but want to achieve so much more! In the era of the Side Hustle, HOW do you manage it all and still find the balance between all the different areas of your life? In this episode, I'm going to debunk the myth of WORK/LIFE BALANCE give you 3 ACTIONABLE tips that you can implement RIGHT NOW to help you be more productive, keep your family first and take control of your day. The truth is, you want to win in every area, And so you seek this illusion of balance. But, The truth is There is a level in life PAST BALANCE and BEYOND BALANCE. Perfect balance would inevitably lead to boredom for people who want to achieve. What you want is to excel in biz, $, family, faith, fitness, relationships, growth etc. and not feel guilty if everything isn’t perfect in every area, simultaneously! You need this! Your family deserves this! And your business demands this!

This is the Ed Milach Show. One of the questions I get asked all the time is how do I balance my life? People are right now, they have a full time job, there's a new study out there that says more than ever right now, people have a side hustle, plus family, fitness, spirituality, all those things, how do you balance them? The first thing I would tell you is that in my estimation, balance is a complete and total fallacy. At some concept, people came up with years ago

and personal development, self-improvement, that every single person I know that successful understands is impossible. Doesn't mean the pursuit of balance is an important, but the attainment of it is a very elusive and I believe not possible probability for somebody who's an achiever. And the reason for that is, at any given time in our lives, one of the areas is spiking, whether that's business or family or finances, fitness, area, spike, and surge.

There's an ebbs and flow of life that is inevitable, and people who try to seek complete balance become bored. Balance e really equals boredom in our life. It means everything sort of vanilla, everything is sort of average. But if you're gonna max out in an area, more than likely there's an area not maxing out at that time. Why is that so important?

I think so many of us begin to beat ourselves up and feel bad when a particular area of our life is suffering and another one is flourishing because we've been told we're supposed to have this balance. It's like this thing that you're supposed to have if you're a successful person or in some cases, even a good person and nothing could be further from the truth. I mean, you take any athlete when they're in their season,

if you're an NFL football player during those six months that you're in season, certain other areas of your life have to suffer for you to max out that time. But doesn't mean we shouldn't seek balance, doesn't mean we shouldn't evaluate where we are, doesn't mean we shouldn't make adjustments. But we should not be beating ourselves up because one area is more successful than another area. You're not God, you're not Jesus, you're not able to max every single area out.

And so having said that though, there are some things we can do to make sure that the people around us, because the root of the question is this, the root of the question is, is my family going to suffer if I begin to become more successful in my business or in my side hustle? Does something have to give? That isn't true. Nothing has to give, but at any given moment, at any given time, for example, if I'm at the gym crushing weights, during that moment, my business is suffering, isn't it?

Because I'm not involved in that endeavor at that time. That's just common sense. So please stop beating yourself up when one area is going great and at another area at that time is maybe leveled out or is actually in a plateau or is even going downward. It's okay. Here's the key thing for me that I've done. Because by the way, this is something I've struggled with, having my main business, multiple companies. I'm involved in 14 different startups right now.

I've got my fitness life, I've got my Instagram, my YouTube, my podcast, I've got a family, I've got my fitness side of my life, I've got my philanthropic stuff, my foundations, I've got my jet, I've got pilots, I've got all these material things that need taken care of, Four different homes, right? And so, and then hundreds and thousands of people who depend upon me.

So, if I was seeking perfect balance in my life at any given time and I beat myself up because it didn't have it, it might be a mess, I'd be a wreck. So, I'm aware that certain areas are going to suffer at given times. Now, the key thing for me though is paying attention. Okay? Here's what I'm learning to do better. I can't even honestly tell you that I've perfected this craft, but let me can tell you, let me tell you what I think I do do well. Whatever I'm doing, I'm present. I'm present in the moment. So what that means is that when I walk into my business, one of my businesses, I'm present in that business during that time, not thinking about my other

businesses, not distracted on my phone, checking deck's messages from another business, I'm fully engaged there. Let me give you a really key thing I've learned as I've studied myself and the majority vast majority of my friends who I think I would call successful. They have the capacity to be in the moment they're in. They have the capacity to be present in the moment they're in. They have the capacity to be present in the moment they're in. The people that suffer, they don't suffer because one area is spiking and another one's plateauing.

They suffer because when they're in that moment in their business, they're thinking about their fitness. When they're with their family, they're thinking about their business life. They're never present in the moment. Present people make the biggest impact number one. Present people make the biggest impact number one. Present people make the biggest impact. Present people also are their max out-level of performance when they're in that moment. And the people around them believe they're the most important thing in the world during

that moment. And all of your resources, all of your capacities, you're pouring into that moment. Think about it if it was the last snap. And it was the Super Bowl and you were the quarterback. In that moment, you've got to take that moment. Think about if it was the last snap and it was the Super Bowl and you were the quarterback in that moment, you've got to take that snap. It's a 10-yard pass you're going to throw to either win or lose the Super Bowl. Can you imagine the amount of things not on your mind during those 30 seconds? What's not on your mind during that time? How your mutual fund is doing, right? Whether or not your car is clean, what one of your businesses is doing. You're really even in that moment not too concerned about a family situation. Are you? You've got to be completely present

to perform at your capacity in that moment. Here's what I would tell you. No matter who you are or what you do, you're that quarterback with 30 seconds left on the clock, your capacity to shrink your focus down in moments and be totally present on the task at hand will dictate the caliber of your life, not whether everything is perfect all the time. So be present. For me, there's some tips I used to do that. When I walk into my home, let's be real.

Many of you are concerned your family life is gonna suffer because of your business. The truth of the matter is there may be less hours, that's possible, but you could be more present in the hours you are there. Meaning, how about this? Leave your phone in the car for the first hour when you walk through the front door of your home and be more present in the hours you are there. Meaning, how about this? Leave your phone in the car for the first hour when you walk through the front door of your home

and be completely present with them, completely engaged with them, completely in the moment with them. Don't even look at your phone. For me, I leave it in the car now for the first hour, almost every day, so I'm not tempted to look at it. I want it vibrate, so I'm not tempted to check it. Because the one thing you do when a child walks in the room

and you look at the phone, you're telling them what's in this phone is more important than them and that's when we begin to suffer So when I'm at home, I'm with my family at least for the first several hours. I'm completely president engaged One way to do that leave the phone in the car when I walk into one of my businesses I'm completely present in that moment. I'm fully engaged with them when I walk into the gym I'm not checking emails and text messages. I'm completely present, fully alive during my workout. I max that out. What happens to us is not that we're too busy.

What happens to us is listen to me. We're never really where we are. And that's out of balance. We're never really where we are. We're at the gym. We're in our telephone half the time. We're at dinner with we are. We're at the gym. We're in our telephone half the time. We're at dinner with our friends. We're on the phone half the time.

When we're with our family, we're thinking about the business. When we're in the business, we're feeling guilty. We're not with our family. We're never fully present with where we are. That feels out of balance. Really what it feels is out of control. And it also lets us feel the truth, which is we are not maxing out that moment

because we're not fully present. So my challenge to you is be fully present at home, fully present in your business, fully present in the gym, fully present at your church or synagogue or place of worship, your temple, be fully present in those moments. Now your life is going to begin to transform because you're peaking in most of the areas of your life at any given time. The other tip I would give you is this. You have to become a freak about your time management. So this may sound contrived, but I want to tell all you super achievers out there, I now, because I've suffered with this, to make sure I'm present with

my family, I schedule appointments with my family just like I do in my business. What most of us do is we have our entire business in our phone and then whenever there's holes in that calendar we give that time to our family don't we? Except the problem is we don't always do it. We don't always get around to those times in there when it's a two hour break we could have come home and spent some time we just don't do it. And so I now schedule time, time with Bella, dinner with Max. I schedule the time for my family in my phone as if they're at least as high or more a priority than my business appointments. Why is it that your business gets scheduled appointments and your family gets the after time? Right? So I want to challenge you to schedule the appointments with your family and your phone.

It sounds contrived, you would think I don't need to do that, you do, so that you're fully present, so that you're fully structured, so that you don't get at the end of the week, go, my gosh, I didn't get any time with my children, I didn't get any time with my girlfriend, I didn't get any time with my boyfriend. Schedule it to begin the week, take control of your time, by scheduling it in your phone. Remember this, the one thing you do when you begin to look at this phone, or you're thinking about something else or you're not present, you're telling whoever is in your presence that whatever you're looking at or thinking about is more important or more compelling

than they are. And so schedule the time with your family in your telephone. The other thing I had a big breakthrough recently for me, which is that I realized that in my own case, I had my entire business life and I fit my family into that life. If this makes any sense. In other words, my family, that could be your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your children, your parents, your grandchildren. For me, over time, I had this huge life, if you will, and I scheduled my family around that life I had business and achievement wise. I recently just made a shift in my thinking and that my family is my priority and I

schedule my business and fitness and finances and faith around them. And so it's just a subtle difference. I built my life around my family rather than fit my family into my life. And so if you just begin to do that, just from a priority sake. In other words, those appointments go first in my calendar, everything gets scheduled around them. That may only be some weeks, two, three, four hours, but they're gonna get those hours for me

and they're gonna get them in my full presence. I can promise you that you're not gonna get perfect balance in your life, but I can also promise you that you should stop beating yourself up about it because you're supposed to be succeeding in one area. There's also seasons of our lives. Winter, spring, fall, and summer come in everybody's life.

And sometimes it's the season of your fitness. It's the season of your faith. It should always be in your faith. It's the season of your finances. It's the season of family. Family's always the priority, but there will be seasons in your life where you must achieve in business for your family.

You must achieve in your faith for your family. You must achieve in your finances for your faith. And so I feel like these are areas that all serve one another. I'm one man with one life. And so at any given time, parts of them are doing better than others. I want to challenge you to take control of your schedule. The last tip I would give you,

and if you can do this, your whole life would be altered. So you can take control of your schedule. The last tip I would give you, and if you can do this, your whole life would be altered. So you can take control of your day. You can take control of your life and your thoughts. Is that when you wake up in the morning, the average person, I talk about this in my book, max out your life. You can click the link here. If you're listening to this, go to maxoutbook.com. You can get the book there, Amazon.

But one of the things that most people make the mistake of is they completely are reactive human beings. They constantly react and respond throughout their life, rather than dictating the terms of their life. They react and respond to the demands and stimulus outside of them. And that demanded stimulus is in this telephone. It's in your email. It's in your iPad.

And so you begin your day one way or the other. Your day has a structure, it has a syntax. If you open up your eyes and begin your day by looking at this device, called your phone, and you start responding to texts and emails, you are now beginning your day as a reactor and a responder, and the rest of the world dictates the terms of your life. Not only will you feel out of balance, forget it, forget that, you'll feel out of control. What most people are looking for is not balance, they're looking for control, the sense of control. And even that can be a fallacy to an extent. But I wanna dictate the terms of my life,

not be reacting and responding. The best people in their family, the best people in business, the best people in their fitness and faith, they dictate the terms. Other people respond to them, not vice versa. In life, 95% of the people respond to 5% of the people. You either take control of that or you lose control of that and it begins with your day.

If you can go the first 30 minutes of your day when you wake up and the last 30 minutes of your day before you go to bed without reacting and responding, you begin to dictate the terms. When you wake up, I talk about a morning routine in my book as well. When you wake up, if you begin to dictate your day by thinking about your goals and your dreams, thinking about your schedule, you dictating the terms of that. And then later in the morning, getting back to responding to other people's demands and requests, you're now dictating the terms of your life. But if you spend the first 30 minutes, 30 seconds, what are most people that wake up, clear their thoughts, grab the phone, react and respond. You're out of control the rest of the day.

But if you could wake up, clear your thoughts, pray, meditate, work out, stretch, gratitude, exercises, go through what it is you want in your life, you dictate your calendar, look at your schedule for the day, the week, the month, your goals, your dreams, your visions, get through all of that. Now you've taken control of your life, then you can begin to respond to people on your own terms, okay? And then the last 30 minutes that you do not want to go to bed having re-racted and responded, you want to go to bed controlling what you're thinking about, thinking about your goals

and your dreams, programming your next day, going through the schedule, and you dictating the terms. If you begin to just do that and lose the fallacy of balance, pursue, control, pursue the concept of balance, knowing it's not something you achieve, and don't beat yourself up for not having it, make sure you design your life around your family,

schedule the appointments with them, and wherever you are, be there. Be present in the moment you're in, you'll be more productive, you'll be happier, you'll be in more control, and the people you do encounter will feel important and valued, and a result they'll treat you that way as well, and most of that guilt will subside. I hope this helps you. Max out. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪