THE ED MYLETT SHOW - THIS 1 THING MADE US MILLIONS! w/ Jamie Kern Lima

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

If you want to get FREE live coaching with Jamie and Ed, visit worthybook.com/ed and you’ll gain access to a live coaching with the both of us when you pre-order Jamie’s new book, WORTHY. This 1 thing made us MILLIONS… On today’s episode we're tackling a silent barrier that just may be the 1 thing holding you back from reaching your dreams, no matter what they may be: SELF-WORTH! Joining me for this life-changing episode is my dear friend, the extraordinary Jamie Kern Lima, who went from a Denny's waitress to a billion-dollar entrepreneur, New York Times bestselling author and world-class speaker. Now remember this… Building UNSHAKEABLE SELF-WORTH is the singular most powerful tool that catapulted our success to staggering heights and THIS EPISODE is a toolkit, loaded with strategies and insights, for anyone fighting the internal battle of self-doubt and negative thinking including: Identifying the signs of low self-worth and understanding its impact How self-worth can fuel or destroy your success A deep-dive into self-love and its transformative power Debunking the myth that achievement equals love and acceptance from others How to turn rejection into a source of strength The non-negotiable need for authenticity Embracing vulnerability and the reality of down days The power of self-reflection and finding your worth in the mirror. Navigating through issues related to body image and weight. Don't miss this chance to redefine your self-worth and start living the life you were always meant to lead. It's a conversation that's not just valuable – it's absolutely vital. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So hey guys, are you frustrated with where you're at right now? Maybe stunted in your progress? Well, if you are, I want to recommend a place for you to go called Growth Day. GrowthDay.com forward slash ed. It is the number one personal development app on the planet. It's got all kinds of high performance techniques in their courses, accountability, journaling, live speeches from some of the top influencers in the world, including me. It's an overall environment to change your life. Growthday.com forward slash ed. When your celebration of life is prepaid in advance, it becomes a gift from you to your family later

because no one should have to plan for a loss while they're experiencing one. Paying in advance protects your loved ones and gives you the peace of mind you deserve. Let us help you plan every detail with professionalism and compassion. We are your local Dignity Memorial provider. Find us at dignitymemorial.ca. This is The Admire Show. Alright welcome back to the show everybody. Well today is going to be amazing because, I don't know, outside of my family maybe my

favorite human is sitting right across the table from me here today and I always feel honored when I get a chance to share her with all of you and time with her. The other thing I got to tell you that I'm really, really excited about is her book is finally here. It's a little bit, if you're listening to this, it's a little bit a few weeks before. If you're listening to this before February 20th, you can go to worthybook.com forward slash ed. If you would like to be coached by me and this lady, all you have to do is go get her

book at worthybook.com forward slash ed. Now, let me properly introduce her because I'm sure you're all thrilled that she's my great friend. How about this? You're a waitress at Denny's. You're adopted all of your life. You struggle with whether or not you are worthy enough

to do anything in your life and you find yourself many, many years later exiting your company for over $1 billion. I want you to picture that. You've grown up your entire life as an adopted little girl wondering whether or not you're worthy enough. And you find yourself Sunday later building an amazing family and exiting your company for over $1 billion.

And oh, by the way, then becoming the first ever female CEO of L'Oreal. So if there is a person qualified to talk about being worthy and how you grow your worthiness in your life, it is this woman right here, the author of this new book called Worthy, How to Believe You're Enough and Transform Your Life, Simple Steps, Life Changing Results.

From someone who knows how to do that in a huge way. Jamie Kern Lima, welcome back to the show. And I love you, you're gonna make me cry. I love you. My lash is off before we even start. I'm excited, I'm on fire. I cannot believe this is coming out. We've been waiting so long.

Finally. And I just wanna say thank you off the top just for the human being you are in the world and you outside of my family, my favorite people in the world. So this is gonna be fire, anyone listening, let's go. It's gonna be a good episode. I gotta tell you, this book's incredible, you guys.

And I am biased because I love this woman, sorry, getting emotional already. And I very deeply believe in her. But I gotta tell you, I believe in this book. And I believe what's in this book. Now, I thought I knew you, which we're gonna get to in a minute. There's some stuff in this book. Oh my gosh, there's things I did not know about young Jamie that we're gonna get into. But let's set the stage first, okay? Because there's some statistics early

in the book that like blew my mind, particularly as it applied to women, but men aren't real far behind either. Give us some of the data on this, really, you talk about an epidemic. Lack of feeling worthy in someone's life, it's at epidemic levels right now. I think the digital age has even made it even worse, probably particularly for women, but give us some of the data

on why this matters so much. Yeah, men and women, and I think, you know, right now, for anyone listening, if you could be crushing it, hitting career goals, doing everything right, have six pack abs, whatever it is for you. But if deep down inside, you still feel like you're not enough, it will affect every single area of your life.

And so, like right now as we're speaking live, 80% of women don't believe they're enough. 75% of female executives deal with imposter syndrome, 91% of girls and women don't love their bodies. But 73% of men feel inadequate. And here's the thing is, we can be really good at hiding it, but it does not mean it does not surface in every area of our life, our business, our leadership. When you believe you are fundamentally not

enough and worthy as you are, like it is a lie. It is a lie that you can unlearn. And you know, I really wrote this book for every girl, every woman, every man, every person to literally learn what are the tools that I can actually apply to my life right now to believe I'm enough. Because Ed, in my life, I worked really hard. I believed that if I did enough things, accomplished enough things, got enough attention,

won enough awards, hit a certain number in my bank account, did what the world told me success looks like, but then I'd feel enough. And it was through doing so much of that and then literally sabotaging huge parts of my life and not knowing why, staying stuck and not knowing why. And it's because I didn't understand that I can have a whole lot of self-confidence, but if deep down inside, I don't believe I'm enough,

like that's what happens, right? We sabotage all these areas of our life. We stay stuck. We don't believe I'm enough. Like, that's what happens, right? We sabotage all these areas of our life. We stay stuck. We don't know why our business isn't doubling. We don't know why we're not happy in our marriage or in our career and we think it's the other person. When underneath it all,

if we don't learn how to build strong self-worth, it literally impacts every area of our life. What's the difference then between self-confidence? So you're saying I could actually have self-confidence Yes. And still not feel worthy. Yes. Yeah.

But I think you describe me. It's, it's, yes. Yeah. You describe me. Go ahead, answer that. I want to hear this. This is really good. Well, and I think, I think that I'm excited for you to share.

I'm excited to ask you about this in your life, Ed, because so many people know you, love you, they aspire to have what you have and to all of the things. And I think why they connect with you so deeply in addition to that is because you're willing to actually share what's happening deep inside of you. So are you.

I think, you know, here's the thing. So this is a huge, like I always think of that emoji with the head exploding, right? Anyone listening right now, this may be a huge aha moment for you. And I always describe aha moment. I define it as like a moment when you're knowing, like surpasses your conditioned belief system.

An aha, light bulb moment, right? This was one in my life. After I thought I had accomplished it all and didn't understand why I still didn't feel enough, I learned that there is a massive difference between self-confidence and self-worth. Here's the best way I can describe it. And they're both very important in our lives,

but they're very different. Self-confidence, while it's an internal trait, it's based so much on what's happening around us externally. It's how we assess our own skills and abilities, how we feel we're stacking up against other people, our willingness to try and go for it. If we keep the promises we make to ourselves, how much of the world's definition of success

that we feel we have, right? There's all the studies that show the boxer who wins the fight is automatically 30% more confident, right? Confidence rises and falls. It's fragile, it's volatile, it fluctuates. But self-worth is actually the deep internal knowing that you are worthy of love and belonging exactly as you are. Not as you're achieving, not as you're winning or losing,

not as you're, you know, anything else going on on the outside, but exactly as you are. Not as you're achieving, not as you're winning or losing, not as you're, you know, anything else going on on the outside, but exactly as you are. And the kind of the way I compare them is like, you know, self-confidence is your assessment and your abilities as a person. Self-worth is your belief in your value as a person. Jamie, I gotta tell you, when you were writing the book the whole time,

by the way, Jamie came on the show, I don't know, like a year ago, and I had excerpts from the book, and I kept telling you how incredible it was. It's different reading the whole book. It affected me much differently. And by the way, I wanna be very clear, this book is not for women, it's for humans.

And it hit me differently. I think even I've conflated self-confidence with worth, thinking if I became more confident, if I achieved more things, if I got. And I think I can tell you guys all truly that she's a thousand percent right, that there's a distinction between the two because I'm still working at this stage,

and the book helped me by the way, there's tools and tactics, there's lies in the book that we tell ourselves. She said something and the book helped me, by the way. There's tools and tactics, there's lies in the book that we tell ourselves. She said something in the book that stood out to me. As I was reading and I was going in the room, I told you and telling my daughter, Bella, Bella this. And I realized at one point, I didn't need to keep telling Bella all these things.

I needed to sit there with it myself. And I'm 52, and I've done a lot of work, as you know, and help a lot of people. In the book, you said, achievement doesn't lead to love or fulfillment. Yes, yes. I think I'm like a lot of work, as you know, and help a lot of people. In the book, you said, achievement doesn't lead to love or fulfillment. Yes. Yes. I think I'm like, you know what, if I just keep achieving

things. Yes. If I just keep accumulating things, if I keep helping enough other people, too. Right. If I just help enough other people, it's a very different thing than worth. Yes.

Confidence and achievement is very different than worth. What about you? I'm curious? Do you still struggle with any of this? Is kind of the expert who's written the book? Yeah. Yeah. Every day, and it is a lifelong journey, but learning how to build my self-worth for the first time

in my life, I'm feeling fulfilled. Good. For the first time. And I want to share something you just said is so, so, so important because so many of us believe this lie. We don't know it's a lie, but we believe, like, think everyone, you know, with us right now, and everyone listening and watching this right now,

think about, has there been something in your life, a big goal or a dream where you thought, when I finally get that thing, then I'm gonna be happy, then I'm gonna be fulfilled, then I'm gonna be enough, and maybe it's, you know's a certain number in the bank account or a certain job title, or when your company hits a threshold or when you get married and have kids or the six pack app, whatever it is.

And then you finally got the thing, maybe it took you years to get it, you finally got it. And then what happens? You might feel excited for a year or a month or a few hours, and before you know it, you're back back down to feeling like huh. I still feel like something's missing I still feel like this isn't enough and so then what do we do? We think okay? I just got to achieve more So then we work harder and harder and harder and listen to your point while you're doing this

You're building a whole lot of self-confidence, which is important a lot of times We're growing in that process, which is important. A lot of times we're serving others, which is so important. Those three things are all very important. But none of this, none of this constant hustling, achievement, accomplishment, all the things, none of that actually builds self-worth. It builds a lot of self-confidence, but it doesn't build self-worth. And so here's the deal, y'all.

Here is what low self-worth looks And so here's the deal, y'all. Here's what low self-worth looks like in our life. And by the way, it can look like the man or woman crushing it with millions and millions of followers or a massive company or a whole lot of fame or whatever, whatever your definition of success that you believe success is, it can look like that on the outside. But what self-worth looks like on the inside when it's low, okay, and see if you resonate with this at home, because a lot of people feel like, I don't understand why I'm hitting a plateau in my business.

I don't understand why I feel stuck. I don't understand why I feel like unfulfilled and like something's missing. So see if one of these boxes, if you check one of these boxes, cause here's what low self-worth looks like in our life, even if we're crushing it on the outside, right? If you have super low, low, low self-worth, what it looks like is you stay stuck. You're stuck and you don't know why.

You know you have a book inside of you to write, but the words aren't coming. You know you have art you want to put out in the world or this wild business idea that might be so innovative and you don't know why you're not sharing it, or why you're not going for it, or why you haven't registered the domain, right? Because in our life, and this is across the board, I'm gonna start hitting this table, I'm gonna get so excited,

Ed, every time, over time, we do not perform to the level of our potential. We plateau at the level of our self-worth. And this is in your career, your dreams, your hopes, your ambitions, your relationships, all of it, right? I talk about this a lot in Worthy in the book where I say like we don't rise to what we believe is possible.

We fall to what we believe we're worthy of. We don't soar to the level of our goals and dreams. We stay stuck at the level of our self-worth. So if you have low self-worth, like it looks like, why am I stuck in my life? Now, if you have medium, a little bit more self-worth, here's what that looks like. Maybe the supplies is someone listening right now.

It looks like, okay, you believe you're worthy enough to go for it, so you go for it, but you don't quite believe you're worthy enough to get it, so you sabotage it. Right? If you're someone who goes for it, but you don't quite believe you're worthy enough to get it, so you sabotage it. If you're someone who goes for things, and you finally meet that amazing partner, and you don't know why you eff the whole thing up, or you put them in the friend zone,

or you're somehow not attracted to them, and you just say, it's because we attract what we believe we're worthy of. So if you just have like low to medium self-worth, you'll go for things, but you'll either sabotage them or you'll just miss out on getting them and you don't know why. If you have medium to high self-worth,

here's what that looks like. That looks like we go for the thing and we actually get it, we accomplish it, we believe we're worthy of it, but when we don't have super high self-worth, we get the thing, but we still feel like something's missing. We still feel unfulfilled, and we don't know why. Everyone in the world can tell us we're amazing,

but deep down inside, we don't think we're enough, so we keep thinking we gotta get more, because if we get enough, we'll finally be enough. If we achieve enough, we'll finally be enough. If my body fat gets low enough, I'll finally be enough. All of it's a lie. None of it leads to self-worth. Holy Spirit's flowing through you right now,

just so you know, it's awesome to watch. You're in the flow zone, Holy Spirit everywhere, can feel it while you're talking. I just wanna say that to you as your friend, like you're in it. You're gonna make me cry. I add you know this, I've never said this out loud before in public,

but you know, I don't feel like I wrote this book. Like this book came through me and I think in our life, like you know because you know my life that I have accomplished a whole lot. But I've also like, even after accomplishing, even after selling my company for $1.2 billion cash, I had a lot of confidence, but I did not have a lot of self-worth yet.

And I didn't know the, and I sabotaged things. And I, this book, I'm getting emotional because honestly I think about every girl, every woman, every man out there who right now is gonna just keep striving for all this stuff and not realize that if they just learn the tools to be enough exactly as they are,

A, they become more fearless and go for things even more. This doesn't occur, feeling strong, self-worth, and enough exactly as you are does not curb your ambition, okay? It gives you more ambition, right? There's this lie that we believe that, oh, if I feel like I'm enough and worthy,

11, belonging exactly as I am, I'm gonna lose my edge. I'm gonna lose my ambition. No, actually, when you realize, oh, wait, if I fall flat on my face, if I win, if I lose, yeah, it might affect my confidence, but it does not touch my self-worth. My self-worth is unshakable, then that's when you become fearless.

That's when you actually become more ambitious, because you don't care about the outcome, because you know it can't rattle you, right? So building strong self-worth, it's the foundation. Your confidence is the house you build upon the foundation, but that house is only as rock solid as the foundation of self-worth you have under it, that then equates to your level of fulfillment

and also your level of fearlessness and going after the things, the dreams on your heart, your potential, your calling, the person you're born to be. Oh my gosh, like first off, everybody just wanna step out of this because I won't remember because I'm so dialed in. but if you go to worthybook.com forward slash ed, you can qualify to get coached by Jamie and I and the coaching call with us and also get the book and I just highly recommend you do that.

So I have to tell you how this applies with me. Number one in my baseball career, when I went away to college, I always held a little bit in reserve. I worked hard. No one didn't, none of my teammates or coaches, I don't think whatever, college, I always held a little bit in reserve. I worked hard, no one didn't, none of my teammates or coaches I don't think would ever know I didn't give it everything. But I still have nightmares to this day about not making it in professional baseball

after all that I've accomplished. And I've evaluated later in my life, any of you right now that aren't giving it everything you've got in a relationship or in a business or something, take this page out of my book and what Jamie just said. I'll give you the application of two things he said. I've evaluated it and I left a little bit in the tank.

Almost like, did I do it so I'd have an excuse later? Like, why did I, just a little bit, there was more in me I could have given. And I'll regret it the rest of my life, no matter what I achieved, that was an opportunity and a moment in my life that I didn't max out. And the truth is, it's because I didn't think I was worthy of it.

I just didn't and it showed up. And I think after that, I went, you know what, that's never gonna be the case again, I'm gonna achieve. But I went to work on was my self-confidence, not my worth. And so I became a very self-confident man. And then I achieved and where the worthiness thing shows up for me, just so the audience knows the areas that it can show up.

I do think I'm worthy of wealth. I've produced it. I do think I'm worthy of feeling some happiness and joy in my life. I actually have that. For me, the worthiness thing shows up in love. I give love to all other people, but in my own life, in my quiet moments,

I don't allow myself to feel it very often, even from people who truly love me. I don't allow myself to feel it and experience it on a deep level, not the way that I should. And my evaluation and reading your work just this last week again was like, that's because I don't think I'm worthy of it. And so I won't allow myself to feel that, I'll give it.

But that area of my life, feeling loved, I think just because of the way I was raised or whatever it is, I just don't feel like I'm worthy of it. And yet when I read the book, I learned tools on how to begin to change that. So I wanna tell you that it profoundly affected me, someone that you know very, very well. But did that show up for you too, the love part of it?

Because obviously you produced a lot of wealth, a lot of wealth, a lot of success, a lot of notoriety, but it was the love part in my life, like just feeling loved that I never allowed myself and still don't most of the time to experience. That's where it shows up for me. And I know, obviously I won't call this out here, but I know also when that can look like

keeping friends in our life that don't love us back, the way we love them, that don't show up for us. Right, you and I both have done that. Also, I just wanna say this, that, you know, a lot of your audience might know these parts of your stories from your book, The Power of One More, from other areas. When you were growing up, you were the one that had to love everyone else.

You were the one Ed that like took care of your family. You were the one that so many times had to be the man of the house. You were the one that had to see is my dad gonna enter the key and I'm gonna hear it and know within a second he's drunk right now and I'm gonna have to protect my mom.

Like you were the one giving all the love. And so, you know, for those of us who've gone through tough experiences, which a lot of us have in different ways. Yeah, you have for sure. Learning to love ourselves right now. First of all, it will impact every relationship in your entire life because whether you're talking

about your romantic partner or your kids or your friends, your depth, all the studies will prove this. Your depth of connection and love with them between you and them can only be as strong as your depth of love and connection with yourself. And we have this lie that tells us, oh, loving myself is selfless, so it's some kind of woo-woo stuff for this or that tells us, oh, loving myself is selfless, or it's some kind of woo-woo stuff for this or that.

Oh, uh-uh. Like, doing the work to learn to believe you are lovable, worthy of love, and actually loving yourself and connecting with yourself. So many of us go through the entire day. We know how to deliver for everyone else, please everyone else, make everyone else happy. We don't even know how we feel.

We don't know how we feel, we're not connected to ourselves, we don't believe we're worthy of connecting to ourselves. It impacts every other relationship. And then we end up feeling lonely. So there's a lot of us that can serve and give and show up the way we think everyone else needs, but we actually feel lonely and we don't realize we're robbing them of a depth of connection

if we don't do the work on learning to believe we're worthy exactly as we are and learning to believe we're worthy exactly as we are and learning to love ourselves right and there's a lot of tools in the book worthy on how to do this there's a whole section on self-worth shortcuts and this has shown up in my life a lot. Give us one of them right now and I'm gonna ask you about the disconnection thing because you asked me last night what are your favorite parts of the book I think it probably surprised you what some of my favorite parts of the book where about one of them is on disconnection.

Because I'm familiar with it, but we'll talk about that in a minute. But give us one little tip from the book. I will. Okay. Before I forget to say this to you, I just have to say it, I want to thank you for being so generous because when people go to worthybook.com slash ed, if you pre-order, you're getting a coaching call live with me and ed. Everybody who does that at worthybook.com slash ed, it's getting a live coaching call live with me and Ed. Everybody who does that at wordybook.com slash Ed.

It's getting a live coaching call with Ed and me. I'm so excited about it, but I know how precious your time is and I just wanna say thank you for that. Okay, so two things. Actually, why don't I just go there. I have never said these words out of my mouth, ever public in my life. And you now know this story.

My mom who passed away last year knows this story. That's it until this book comes out. I never knew growing up why I didn't feel enough. And I mean, I learned later in life, I was adopted, I learned all the things, my parents worked a ton, I was alone a lot. But I believe the lie that achievement equaled love, or attention equaled love.

And when I was 18, I started working in a health club in sales. And I was first, I was a receptionist. And then what happened is that all the sales people got so busy, they asked me to start doing club tours. It was this health club with 8,000 members. I'd do the club tour and I'd have to present the membership pricing at the end.

I started crushing it in sales, right? And all of a sudden, I was out performing the sales team. Now, you're promoted in this health club, not based on your qualifications or if you're even mature enough to handle it. It's pure numbers. All they care about is who's making the most money. So I get promoted to sales, into sales.

And then I start crushing it in the sales team and I get promoted to assistant manager, eventually manager. All the people reporting into me are like twice my age and their people that have been selling their whole career. Here we go, you guys, I'm gonna leave this. There's one guy in particular who, Ed, let me just, I'm gonna be embarrassing this out loud for you. Okay, he was the first guy in my life where I was like,

he is so hot, by the way, he's double first guy in my life where I was like, he is so hot. By the way, he's double my age, okay? He's double my age and he's dating a number of women. And he literally looks like an ageless celebrity to me. I'll never forget one moment. I'm standing there at the front desk, closing another sale, like recording it. He walks by and you know that moment

when someone holds eye contact with you? And you know that moment just shifted, and you're no longer just friends. In this case, I was his boss. You were his boss when he's twice your age. And he's twice my age. And also I knew he was dating half of the other, I mean, he was dating so many women.

At the time, I mean he was dating so many women. At the time, I had a lot of confidence, I was crushing sales, my numbers were top every week, right? But I did not have a lot of self-worth. And we started dating, I like fell in love, I mean I was in love. And I eventually said like let's just be exclusive. And he's like, no, no. And I was like, okay, I had to decide in that moment,

do I want to love him and betray myself? And I chose to. And I, because again, we're talking about careers, business, all the way self-worth, it can impact your relationships, it can impact every area of your life. And I literally, like, I mean, was just crushed every week over and over and over and over and stayed

in that relationship. And eventually I decided to leave and move off to college. So now we break up. I go off to college and I'm waitressing at Denny's. I get a job, waitressing at Denny's. These are the words I have never shared. So hey guys, as you know, I've partnered up with my good friend Brennan Brouchard,

who's created the greatest personal development system that has ever been designed called Growth Day. There's everything from journaling to accountability programs, live messages every Monday for myself and other influencers. There's an opportunity for you to get courses that would cost thousands of dollars completely for free. It's incredible. Go to growthday.com forward slash ed and check it out.

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So every single thing you see that I market online, Shopify is somehow involved. I wouldn't even know what to do without them. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash My Let all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash My Let now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash My Let. Hey guys, if you need to hire, you need indeed, you know, in all of my businesses, and I've been blessed to have several of them, I've used Indeed now for a number of years. And the main reason I do it is, if you're like me, I don't want to waste a bunch of time interviewing people that aren't qualified for the positions that I have. It's one of the hardest jobs in the world, right? Or they are qualified, but they're not interested in making them move at the given time. And so with Indeed, you have a thing called Instant Match where they match you with quality candidates within 24 hours and you're in front of people that want the job

that are qualified for it and that you probably want to hire. I wouldn't go anywhere else. They've delivered great candidates to multiple businesses that I have right now. So here's what's great. Listeners and viewers on my show, you get a $75 sponsored job credit right now to get your jobs more visibility at Indeed.com slash my let just go to Indeed.com slash my let which is my

Let right now and you can support our show by saying you heard about Indeed here. That would be great by the way Indeed.com slash my let terms and conditions apply you need to hire you need indeed Okay, you guys are kind of just say before you share them, this is what, it's okay. I'm getting emotional for you. This is where you're really helping people. There's millions of girls, especially, that need to hear the story you just told

in the one you're about to. And I know they're hard, but this is the real work. This is not, I sold my company for a billion dollars and here's how I did it. This is the real stuff right here. So keep going. There's so much in this book, and this book is not my story. This book is 20 plus tools I'm building

and shakeable self-worth. But I weave some stories in here I've never shared before because- It qualifies you, Jamie. This qualifies you. And go ahead, you said because... Well, you know, I almost took these stories. I know you did. I had so many times.

You told me you were thinking about it. I didn't know what they were until I read it. But, yeah. Thank God you didn't. I just kept remembering the intention of this book. It is not about me. Like for anybody listening to us right now who feels like they're past and their failures and their mistakes and the people they've hurt and the things that they feel like,

as you would say, disqualify them from their dreams, right? Like so many people feel that way, and they're staying here thinking, oh, I failed so many times, that means I'm a failure. They let it take root in an identity level. I've been rejected so many times, I'm a rejecter. I've made so many mistakes and bad decisions, I'm a mistake. And that is a lie.

It is a lie that impacts our self-worth. It's a lie that you can unlearn. But here's the problem. I was at a moment in my life, I'm waitressing at Denny's. I have big dreams on my heart. And I start to miss the fact that I'm crushing numbers every week. And that I'm having all of the sales success

and all this attention and this money. And I'm like, huh, okay, I'm wait numbers every week. And then I'm having all of the sales success and all this attention and this money. And I'm like, huh, okay, I'm waitressing at Denny's, busting my butt, hoping that someone throws a few dimes on the table because I'm in a college town where everyone has no money. And here's what happened, Ed, and this is for everybody listening. When we have low self-worth, even when we don't realize it,

we get confused about a few things in life that are key. We get confused when we do not feel we are enough as we are, attention starts looking like love. External significance starts looking like success. Validation from others starts looking like worthiness. And I was missing all of those things that I thought were love and worthiness, and the way it manifested in my life is I drove to the biggest city, I've never shared this before,

I drove to the biggest city about an hour and a half away, drove to, didn't even know what I was going to do, frankly. I was just like, you know, stopped at an adult entertainment club, also known as a strip club, walked inside, saw all of these waitresses and these black pants and white shirts and then all of these dancers not wearing anything. I remember the first time I walked in, there was like 30 or so patrons, men sitting in the audience and I talked to a waitress there.

And she told me like she makes a few hundred bucks a shift selling sodas, they didn't even have alcohol there, selling sodas. And I literally applied for a job and got hired that day in the strip club. And I would waitress all week at Denny's and I'd drive up there on the weekends and then I'd waitress in the strip club,

now wearing black pants, a white shirt, but thinking, huh, maybe I'll also dance, right? And in that club, for me in that moment, two big things, one, attention. I was confusing attention with love. I started dating someone who was a patron of the club. And I remember there was this moment where he took me to a firing range.

And I'm out in the middle of nowhere. In some city I don't know anybody in. With this dude I barely know, holding this gun at a firing range. And we're shooting targets. And I remember it was so loud. And I was like, huh, okay, like he loved it, you know? A lot of people love hobbies like that.

And I was just like, I was more scared than I was interested at that point. And I remember just sort of losing connection with him over time. And eventually one night, he drove me home from the strip club about an hour and a half back to my college apartment. And I decided to break up with him.

And in that moment, I remember looking in the back of his Jeep and seeing all of these guns and just going, what am I doing with my life? going, what am I doing with my life? Like, what am I doing with my life? Even made sure the door was unlocked. Yeah, yeah, because I was like going through my head, like, you know, because when I broke up with him, he got really quiet, and I got really scared.

And I was like, what am I doing with my life? And I was like making sure the door was unlocked because I had to dive out in the middle of the highway, like it was so scary. And I remember he dropped me off at my college apartment and we never spoke again. But that moment was a low for me in the sense where I was like, what am I doing with my life?

And you often talk about the thermostat example that if we believe we're a 75 in identity or self worth and things go lower, we'll warm it back up a little bit. And at that moment, a couple big things happened in my life that I share in the book that helped me start to build self-worth and to believe I'm enough. But here's what I wanna say, there's a lot of things like this and others that I share in the book

because I could have gone, okay, no one in my family has ever gone to college or I've done these kind of things or hung out with these kind of people. I talk in the book about getting arrested for the first time and dating a guy who stole cars all the time. And like.

14 years old. Yeah, and what it was like to be booked into juvie and just like all of these things where I could have said to myself, it was like to be booked into juvie. And just like all of these things where I could have said to myself, like, oh, you know, all the things I've done that are bad means I'm bad. And that's one of the biggest lies we are so tempted to tell ourselves.

All the things in my past that I'm embarrassed of or ashamed of or mortified of or the mistakes I made or whatever it might be mean I'm a mistake or ashamed of or mortified of or the mistakes I made or whatever it might be, mean I'm a mistake and it's a lie. And it's, we attach these labels to ourselves. I have a whole chapter in worthy called labels and how we believe these light labels that someone else has said about us or that we've stuck on ourselves. We believe they're permanent and we let them take root, but they're not.

They're like post it notes with that light adhesive. You can peel them right off, right? And I go through how to do that. But I could have doubted myself out of my own destiny, right? A lot of people, if they Google my story, you won't find any of this. What you find is, oh, you know, Denny's Waitress builds billion-dollar companies.

She's on the Forbes list. She taught a class with Oprah this year You see all that and you and you might think like oh Things like that happen to other people not people who have made so many mistakes like I have or not people who have been through What I've been through or and and I just I finally decided to keep some of the stuff in the book because this book is not about me It's for every single person who has some self-doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill. And here's the thing I wanna say too, Ed, about this is,

I believe every person listening, I believe our steps are ordered. I believe our lives are divinely orchestrated. And let me tell you something right now. When I built it Cosmetics, when we have millions and millions and millions of paying customers in the US and built this whole movement, like it was not an accident I worked in a strip club.

It wasn't an accident I waitress to Denny's. It wasn't an accident that I was selling in the health club and understood what it's like to love someone else at the expense of loving myself. I believe, because what I learned, that my friends who work with me in the strip club, in the adult entertainment club, my friends there are the same as my friends sitting next to me

in my college classes, as the professors teaching, as the people waitressing with me at Denny's, as the now fellow CEOs and fellow billionaires I know, right? They're the same. At our core, we all wanna know we're enough that we're worthy of love and belonging. Every one of us, we're the same. I've never been more proud of you.

The reason I'm just sitting here watching you is like, I read it, I was proud of you, but to see you talk about it, it's even another level to have to verbalize it, I think. And I just hope everyone gains some measure of hope. You know, that who would have pictured this girl who's working at the fitness club dating a guy basically double her age, and you're gonna go,

don't worry, someday, young lady, you're gonna reach millions of people on stages and inspire them to change your life. And then fast forward a little bit and you're with this dude you meet in a strip club that you're working at and just, you're not treating yourself, betraying yourself to use your words earlier and say,

don't worry young lady, someday you're gonna sell your company for over a billion dollars. I just hope all of you gain some hope from this and that if you have somebody in your life who's currently making a mistake or not living true to their integrity or their character, send them this interview.

Have them go get the book. Have them go to worthybook.com forward slash ed. Have them go there and hear this story because it's one thing, Denny's waitress to exiting for a billion dollars. How inspiring. She must be perfect. She just worked hard as a waitress.

No, there's some mess in there. And your mess does not disqualify you. And I think the other reason it's so powerful, Rory said this first on the show and you and I talk about it a lot too, but you're most qualified to help the person or people you used to be. If you used to be so perfect, who are you here to help? But all of you just realize that this woman who's built this remarkable life, she's literally

one of the most admired women currently living on earth. She is one of the most admired women, one of the most admired people on the planet right now. She's the person in my life outside of a family that I admire the most, right? To think that at some point she was dating some dude, double her age, working in a gym, getting attention, letting him date other women,

that she would see the other women he was dating. It wasn't like he was hiding it. Then she goes to work at a strip club, and before that she was arrested at 14 years old. This is not perfect little Jamie that everybody thinks they know. This is someone who's a flawed human being who's worked on her worthiness and has the pathway to do it in her life. One of the big things you've done, Bella, my daughter wants to get in, I think to my financial company, and I said this to her before I read your work

and that's why I was running in. I want to talk about this topic because when you already don't feel worthy and then you get rejected. Oh wow, right? And you've dealt with so much rejection in your life. You've had, you've always had some body image issues in your life. And when Bella got decided she wanted to do fun, she got her license and she said, Daddy, I'm gonna be great. I'm in sales. I can motivate. And I said, my biggest concern, Bella, is how will you deal with all of the rejection you're going to get? It's the killer in sales, not just life in sales. If you can't deal with rejection, you're toast. In life, we frame rejection. And you say in the book, I'm going to let you word it your way. But if you can

change your relationship with direction, you have these great sayings that people will remember, I'm gonna let you say them. But talk about that, you already don't feel worthy, most of us, right? Then rejection comes in. To me, that's like the shovel on the face of burying someone's dreams is rejection, and less what? So yeah, rejection, so I'm getting so emotional.

Yeah, me too. So emotional. Rejection, oh my gosh, yeah, rejection. So I'm getting so emotional. Yeah, me too. So emotional. Rejection, oh my gosh. Yeah, in the book, in Worthy, I go into like 20 tactical tools you can apply to your life right now to build self-worth. And chapter two, that was almost, it's so tactical. It was its own book.

It was its own book. And I didn't want to wait two more years for it to come out. So it's literally now a chapter in where they called, when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life. And I go deep in a framework in it called the four Rs. And, and this is life changing because as you know, everything in life is just the meaning we attach to it. Right?

It's the story we tell ourselves about. It's the meaning we attach to it. It is possible. And I know because I've done it. As you mentioned, like, I went years. A lot of people see the success of it, cosmetics, but the first three years, hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of rejections, everyone telling me that this wasn't going to make it, saying, no, they didn't want me in their stores. Like, we almost went bankrupt a number of times. We didn't pay ourselves for over three years. I mean, and most of us give up after one rejection or 20 rejections, right? I've done a lot of things wrong in building that business,

but one of the things I did right was I learned how to change my relationship with rejection and become fearless over it. So really quick, do you want me to take everyone through this framework? Okay, because you could do this with Ed and I right now live. So let me just start with this question

and I want you to answer it honestly, okay? Honestly, when I say imagine yourself getting rejected or you failing at something, what is the first thought you have when you get rejected or you fail at something? And be really honest, sometimes we think it, we don't even realize we're thinking it. What's that first thought you have when you get rejected or you fail at something. And be really honest, sometimes we think it, we don't even realize we're thinking it. What's that first thought you have

when you get rejected or you fail? For me, most of my life, it's like, yep, there's proof I'm not enough. Proof again, I'm not enough. What has it been for you, Eddie? I wanna hide. I wanna hide. Yep, I don't wanna hide.

I wanna hide. I wanna hide. When I ask, I've asked small groups this question, and oh my gosh, the things people say just at home to know you're not alone. A lot of people are like, oh, yep, I'm stupid. I shouldn't have even tried. What was I even thinking?

I'm a loser. I don't have what it takes. I'm unqualified, right? Whatever your first thought you just had is, that is the first R called reveal. And it is your current definition of rejection. So whatever that first thought you had is, I wanna hide, I'm stupid, I'm a loser, I'm not enough.

That is your current definition of rejection. That is the meaning you assign to rejection. And now here's the thing as human beings, we are wired to avoid pain at all costs, right? Like it's why for some of us we won't even go to the gym because we know there's pleasure in the outcome and the health and the wellness But I don't want the pain of working out like we will avoid pain at all costs in different areas of our life

So if your definition right now at home that you just thought to yourself is Painful and for most of us it is I'm not enough. I'm a loser. I'm stupid. I shouldn't have tried I want to hide if it is painful you will stay stuck You won't go for it like you'll talk yourself out of it, I want to hide. If it is painful, you will stay stuck, you won't go for it. Like you'll talk yourself out of it because you want to avoid pain. So the second R is to redefine and reframe that definition. But here's the key, because then you talk about,

I think, scratching a CD, like every time your old definition that you just thought of comes to your mind, you intercept it and you replace it with this new true definition. But it has to be true. This is the second R, which is redefined. It has to be true.

So, a couple examples. Rejection is God's protection. Love this. Right? Rejection is God's protection. Love this. Right, rejection is God's protection. Now, I believe that is true. You have to believe your new definition is true. I believe that at my core it's true.

And then over time I can look back and go, yep, that was true, rejection was God's protection. Give me the one example, if you don't mind, that I know about when you were really, really trying to sign, to get equity, sign with this dude. And he basically tells you no, and the reason no is blah, blah, blah. And like that was a really traumatic moment in your life.

But it was actually God protecting you at the same time. So do you mind just showing them that, and then we'll go to the other two R's. But go ahead, this is, because they'll remember this the rest of their life. And by the way, the dude not wanting to date me, you know, exclusively in the health club, you know, that's rejection, a form of rejection.

Yes, sure is. Which, thank God, I could have just doubted myself out of my whole future. Just gone with him one on one, off into the sunset. What a great point. Right, rejections God's protection. The dude that breaks your heart, like all of it, right? The friend that betrays your trust

that doesn't invite you to the party and you don't know why. Rejection is God's protection. So the story you're sharing, oh my gosh, we'd had years and years of rejections and I finally got this big meeting with a potential investor, huge private equity company. We went to several, several meetings,

got into the diligence phase where we hired lawyers. Like I thought this deal was gonna happen. And Ed, I thought like, oh my gosh, if he invested in us then we're not gonna go bankrupt. Like he's gonna be my knight in shining armor. And I was putting him on this pedestal, right? And I was like, oh, and it got down to the final meeting. Paulo, who you know, my husband,

Paulo was there, we flew up for this, we were in person. I just thought it was gonna change my life and it did just in a different way. But it came down to the end of the meeting and this head investor was there, a very famous private equity company. His whole team was there, they were awesome and at the end he says to me, you should be so proud.

Like this is a great product, congratulations. But it's a no, we're gonna pass on investing in it cosmetics. And I was just like, okay, can you tell me why? Cause feedback is usually a gift. And he got really quiet and he says to me, do you want me to be really honest with you? And I was like, yes, please. And I remember like my heart beating in my ears.

Cause I was like, why is he not sharing this with me? And I remember the moment his mouth started moving and he says, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight. And two things, like in that moment, I never actually got angry at him, but I remember this lifetime of body doubt and self doubt. So it felt like I was staring my own fear

straight in the eye, but when he said that, I remember this feeling in my gut, and I can feel it like it was yesterday that said, he's wrong. Like I felt it in my gut, right? And two things, when I look back at that moment, like that feeling, that intuition, that knowing was so strong that said he's wrong, even though look back at that moment, like that feeling, that intuition, that knowing

was so strong that said he's wrong, even though I couldn't prove it, like I was not selling much, we were barely in business, I had been getting rejections for years. But when he said those words to me, like I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight, and that feeling, like what I know,

and I can look back at that moment, is that like this dude gave me a no, but God gave me a knowing, like that knowing, right? And so two things happen. I didn't hear from him again for six years. Now I went out in my car and cried that day, but I didn't hear from him for six more years. And when those thoughts replayed in my mind,

you know, when someone says something hurtful to us, we can let it take root in our identity. We can let it think that we're not enough and we need to change who we are. And so I would imagine myself turning down the volume on that no and turning up the volume on my knowing, trusting what I felt like God's word. Like I hear God when I pray through my intuition, through that gut feeling.

The other thing I did was I redefined that rejection. Every time I was tempted to think, oh, I'm rejected, I'm not enough, like all the things, like my old story, I'd intercept it, but like, nope, rejections God's protection. I don't know how, I don't see it yet, but I'm gonna believe,

because I know my soul, I believe this to be true, rejections God's protection. Six years later, the day we sold to L'Oreal for $1.2 billion cash, they were their public company, and I didn't know until the night before they were going to announce it publicly, the purchase price, everything. And it was on the homepage of the Wall Street Journal. It was everywhere. And that was the first time I heard from him in six years. And he said, congratulations on the L'Oreal deal. I was wrong. and he said, congratulations on the L'Oreal deal. I was wrong.

And do you remember Ed that moment in the movie Pretty Woman, where like she goes in the store and they won't help her? And then she goes back the day later, a couple days later. So what I wanted to say to him in that moment was like big mistake, huge, huge. I could give you 1.2 billion reasons why.

It was a huge mistake. I didn't, I kept it classy and I remembered two things. Because here's the deal, had he invested and believed in me, I was so desperate at the time, we would have given him the majority of the company for like no money. Because he didn't believe in me, Like the day we sold the business, we're the largest shareholders. So it's like rejection is God's protection. And there's

so many other beautiful definitions. Like one day I was getting, oh my gosh, it was like in the middle of this massive season of rejections. And I started Googling everyone I admire in business and in thought leadership and in who's changed the world as a force for good. And I realized they've all gone through rejections. They're just the brave ones willing to keep going anyways. So good. So that was another definition that I put in my toolbox is like, okay, sometimes I was like, okay, I just got rejected, but you know what?

This is a victory, it means, I'm one of the brave ones willing to keep, I'm not sitting on the sidelines. I'm not in the stands watching everyone else on the field. Like I am one of the ones in the field not living my life in regret. And so this rejects a freaking victory because it means I'm one of the brave ones willing to keep going for it, right? Another great definition could be I'm putting in the reps.

I'm putting in the reps. I'm getting strong enough to carry the weight of my yes or my success when it happens. We start stacking these new definitions. That's the second R. The third R is my favorite, which I think it's the most powerful and it's called revisit.

It's where we actually revisit old and past rejections and failures in our lives, pay attention to what definition have I given those, and let me redefine those. Very good. And when you and I have talked about a couple times together that I think is just so powerful, and for anyone listening who has had someone

betray their trust, had the rug pulled out from under them, has someone who does not see their value or love them like they need to be loved. When I revisit rejections often, I will literally, here's how I define them, my favorite way to define them. I will literally imagine God saying to me, like, oh no, you weren't rejected.

Like I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny. And I believe it. And to this day, Ed, even like, you know, I always share everything with you, but like, even if there's a friend that just doesn't, you know, show up for me, even though I always show up for them,

or whatever it is, like instead of me feeling like, oh, something's wrong with me, which would be my old default definition, I'm like, okay, God's hiding my me, which would be my old default definition, I'm like, okay, God's hiding my value from them because they're not assigned to my destiny. And I lean on that and then it doesn't take root in my spirit. It doesn't take root in my self-worth.

I become more fearless in going after things and putting myself out there. And the fourth R is rebel. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yes. So it's no secret that last year, one of my goals was to learn to speak Spanish. And I gotta tell you something, I've gotten pretty fluent in Spanish and there's only one reason and that's Babel.

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in 20 years right now and I attribute that to Factor. Factor makes pre-made meals. They've got tons of different meal options. I love their smoothies by the way as well. Factor meals are 100% ready to eat and eat so there's no prepping, cooking or cleaning up to do it all. So head to factormeals.com slash mylet50 and use code mylet50 to get 50% off your first

box and two free wellness shots per box while subscription is active. That's code mylet50 at factormeals.com slash mylet50 to get 50% off your first box and two free wellness shots per box while subscription is active. We're not moving off that yet. Imagine what your life would be like if you adopted or adapted to that belief that she just shared with you. She says so many brilliant things but we need to slow down on that. I want you to imagine if you really believe that when you were

rejected God was telling you, I'm not revealing your value to them because they're not assigned to your destiny. Imagine how differently you would feel when someone's broken up with you, or doesn't ask you out, or doesn't buy from you, or doesn't join your company, or doesn't do anything that you would like them to do

that God is hiding your value from them, didn't reveal your value to them because they're not assigned to your destiny. And by the way, I can tell you at 52 years old, haven't had a little bit of success in my life and you've had a bunch of success younger than I have, that is actually 100% true. You would not be, you're not adopting a belief system

that's false there. It's a 100% true, which is why podcasting and books are so profound because you can learn from people that are further down the road from you and deduce these lessons. I don't know that there is a more powerful lesson somebody could learn than what you just said. Right there, Amelia, I could give you story after story

of my own life where my value is just simply being hidden, not being revealed because they weren't assigned to my destiny. Like, everyone should write that down, should remember that makes me emotional. My voice cracks when I say it because there may, there may literally be. Because inside that belief system is there's a God,

and that you're being guided. In my favorite chapter of the book, it's on faith, we'll talk about that later. But also that that belief system, that he's always working in your favor, even in the moments where it feels most like he isn't with you. He was most with you in those moments.

When you feel alone, you feel abandoned. So I love that. Fourth is... Fourth is revel in the fact that you are now fearless about rejection and failure. And I'm telling you, I can sit here right now and you ask me if self-worth is still a challenge. and I'm like, yeah, I'm a lifelong student. Every day I have to apply the tools in this book

to believe I'm worthy of walking in the room, to believe I'm worthy of you being one of my best friends, to believe I'm worthy of all of it, I have to, so I'm a lifelong student, but what I will say I've mastered is I'm pretty freaking fearless when it comes to rejection, failure, bring it. Like, it does not phase me one bit. And I still deal with it every day. Like, all the time.

We all do in little ways, big ways, small ways. You just don't see people posting about it on social. You know, everything looks great, but then behind the scenes, like a lot of people struggling with self-worth, a lot of people not with self-worth, a lot of people not understanding how to become fearless about rejection,

how to change their relationship with it. So yeah, I'm so passionate about it. You know what you say in the book that helped me, and I think will help a lot of people right now too, is she goes through these different lies in the book. And I'll tell you, I bought, and I mean, we'll go through two of them because I want them to get the book,

but I want to go through two of the lies that affected me. And here's what mine was for a big majority of my life. And it's literally verbatim out of the book. Lie that we tell ourselves is I have nothing special to offer. And even like everyone's telling me, you got to write another book, you got to write another book, you got to write another book, right? And you are one of the many people going,

you got to write this book. And I know what it is because we've talked about it. And I still, here I am revisiting that lie. That's not that special. I don't have anything special to offer. I watch other people do a speech or a podcast or something and I'm like, now that's good. I don't have anything special to offer.

I really still believe that lie most often in my life. And I know people at whatever level they are at in life have bought into this. There's nothing special about me. And one of the reasons, one of the ways they prove that there's nothing special they have to offer is their past.

They're like, up until now, I've not done anything special. So there's nothing special that I have to offer. And they use sort of their past as a reference point to dictate their future. Would you agree with that? And then what would you say to that lie? Cause I think that's a biggie.

I think most people listen to this that are driving right now are nodding or riding on the treadmill, running on the treadmill, they're like, yeah, that's me. I don't think I have a whole lot special to offer. Yeah. I think you're exactly right that they think because they haven't felt it in the past, right?

It's part of why I share so much about my past. Right, it's so good. I don't want anyone thinking that their past or where they come from determines where they're going. So yeah, I go into the lies that lead to self-doubt and how to unlearn those lies and how to embrace and ignite the truths that wake up worthiness. And that lie about I've got nothing special to offer.

It is, okay, first of all, if you are one of the brave ones, right, willing to actually show up as who you authentically are, just you being who you are is special. There is no one else like you in the entire universe, period. I could have launched a makeup business and gone, huh, okay, this has been done before, several hundred thousand times, I got nothing special to offer.

We did not win because the products were so great, although I think they were great. We won because I was brave enough to launch this thing authentic to who I am, which by definition, every single person driving their car, running on the treadmill, whatever you're doing right now in your life, if you are willing to be who you authentically are, you are by definition special, right then and there. If you are willing to launch your business as who you authentically are,

you have something special to offer. There has never been another you before. There is never gonna be another you, right? The way God made you, not just unique fingerprints, unique tongue print, unique iris of your eyes, there's no one else that has your actual heartbeat rhythm. When you look at the science behind it, there's no one else that has had your life experiences. There's no one else that has your thoughts, your emotions, or sees art and beauty the

way that you do. If you are one of the brave ones willing to do something authentically, it is indisputable that you have something special to offer. It's indisputable, right? And so many times, we crave love and belonging so much and we think that we can get it by waking up in the morning, putting on our happy uniform and our mask and showing up to the world as a people pleaser

and who other people want us to be, right? 50% of women identify as people pleaser, 40% of men identify as people pleaser. So much of what we do is what we think will make everyone else happy at the expense of our own authenticity. But every time we think I don't got anything special to offer, and we keep showing up trying to conform or fit in or meet other people's expectations at the expense of our own authenticity,

what we're doing every time we do that is we're telling ourselves, I am not worthy of being who I authentically am. And slowly but surely it chips away at our self worth. So one of the things you can do in your life right now to unlearn the lie I've got nothing special to offer, first of all, it is again, indisputable when you show up authentically. You can't even dispute it.

Do you have something special to offer? And I don't care if you're launching a business that thousands of other people have done and you've been telling yourself to lie, oh, it's already been done before a million times or, oh, you know, other people have something special to offer and their book are on stage, but I don't. Like it's all a lie. It's all a lie. Right? And step one today is literally just going, wait a minute, do you see you? Who am I? How do I feel?

What do I want? What do I mean? Like who am I? How do I feel? Who am I authentically? And actually show up that way and try it today in a conversation with someone. Like say what you really mean. Say how you really feel.

When they say how are you, it's like oh I'm good, how you, uh-uh. Say how you really feel. Do you really see them and do you really see yourself? Right? And there's a whole chapter in the book called, you're not crazy, you're just first. Because here's the thing, we tell ourselves this lie,

because we all crave love and belonging. We tell ourselves, I've just got to fit in, and morph into who others expect me to be, so I can get love and belonging. And all we end up doing is feeling alone, more lonely than ever, and more disconnected than ever. What if you're, by the way, what if the fact that this belief that you have

that I have nothing special to offer, what if it could possibly be, by the way, and you are special because you're the only person with all those personalities and emotions and experiences Jamie said, but here's a place to look. You want a place to look to know what you have special to offer? In your insecurities, in your trauma,

in mistakes you've made, in your past. I think oftentimes that special thing you have to offer is hidden in pain, is hidden in mistakes you've made, is hidden in rejection that you've experienced. You know what your special thing might be to offer? The fact that you believe you have nothing special to offer is special and you could help people that, you know, Rory said, like we said before,

that you're most qualified to help the person you used to be. I'm gonna say it again. The fact that you believe that about yourself, probably that special thing is hidden as some sort of pain or insecurity or trauma that you have. So you are special. Here's the other one, and you just said it. You just, like, it's almost like you're reading my mind

of what I wanna ask you about. I believe this lie, and I think it is more prominent with women though, but I believe it. Lie in the book that she references. I should only be seen when I'm happy. And I think that's that mask thing. They should only see me on my A game. You just said it.

How are you doing today? I'm good. I should only be seen when I'm good. I wanna make other people happy so I have to project that I'm happy all of the time. And I think that puts a pressure on people. It immediately makes you believe you have to be fake or inauthentic when you believe that,

or you do what I just said earlier. I'll just hide. I'll just hide. And I think a lot of us introverts, like if I can't be on and be happy, then I shouldn't be seen. And I think we all suffer from this. There's a depth to this book.

I'm telling you that if you let your heart and mind open, how does this apply for me? Cause even that lie I'm like, I don't believe, and then I thought, no, that's a hundred percent me. I'm only seeing when I'm on, I'm only seeing when I'm happy. So tell us about that lie. Yeah. And I remember the first time I ever saw you

not on and not happy, and I just felt so freaking grateful that you trust, like and I just felt so frickin' grateful that you trust, like that I just felt such a depth of connection with you. And here's the thing, 75% of men and women, you look at the studies, 75% of us will hide our true emotions and just show up when we can deliver some kind of positive news, positive emotion, put on a

happy face. We have this huge juxtaposition happening where we have tragedy and horrible things happening everywhere and then like we have signs everywhere saying good vibes only you know and we feel like okay unless I'm positive and happy and all the things which by the way I believe we can control a lot of the way we feel often, I believe we can control a lot of the way we feel often, right? I believe we can do a lot to control our state and everything else, but, you know, Glennon Doyle once said like,

being human isn't about feeling happy, it's about feeling everything. And if we want the depth of connection with other people and ourself, we have to be willing to show up as we are. Otherwise, again, every time, we think like, oh, I'm not gonna call my friend until I have something good to say.

I don't wanna bring them down with my problems. Or oh, all of these things, and what we do is we doubt ourselves out of, into disconnection, from people, from ourselves, right? And every time that we show up inauthentically, just trying to be positive and that's not how we feel, right? And we're really trying to be someone other than who we are, we're telling ourselves we are unworthy as we are.

No kidding. And here's the thing, like, it is so important to be able to feel worthy of being sad, or of saying, you know what, I feel insecure right now, or you know what, I'm kind of bummed out today, or, and to feel like someone else could hold space for that, like you're worthy of someone else holding space for that, right, like, and that you deserve someone showing up for you in that way.

It's really a fundamental self-worth issue. Can I say something to all the women listening? Can I give you some insight into your man and how it'll apply to him oftentimes? By the way, I'm not real big on any of you, like gender-specific advice. But I will tell you, if you have a man in your life who's struggling with this,

he's more than likely has been raised to believe that if he shows fear or sadness, or that he's fear or sadness, or that he's down or worried or has anxiety, that he's being weak. And so he only shows up strong. Might not be happy, maybe it's strong. He only shows up.

How's everything going? Everything's okay. And they keep things inside. And if you have a man in your life who does that regularly, like me, who's done it for years and years and years, you have a man who is stacking in his life pain. It's gonna come out in other ways. And it's not until I've gotten older

and I've had really good friends around me, like you, where there's been things that have happened in my life in the last year or two, as you know, where I'm like, no, I'm really hurting right now. And it's allowed me to be more me. allowed me to be more me. And I am, I'm a worthy person, even when I'm not perfect, I'm a worthy person, even when I'm down, I don't have to be strong all of the time.

And I know this applies to women as well, being happy and being strong, but it does apply in your man's life, believe me. Men have a real problem, real challenge being, well, let's say I'm down right now. I'm down. I'm hurting right now. And so know that if you can create a space where they feel like they're accepted when they do it and they don't feel weak for doing it, I think you have a stronger relationship with that man in your life.

If you have one, it's worth. And to add to that is so powerful. What you just shared. When you look at the data that 73% of men feel inadequate, so many men are so good at hiding it. But here's the thing, when you create a safe space for a man in your life to share those things, what is so critical is that you do not let yourself go to the believing that same lie he did,

which is somehow that's inadequate to feel those things. It is, there's so many, I'll just talk about some women in my life who wish their partner would open up more with this or that, but some of them, when their partner does, all of a sudden, they start telling themselves the lie that, you know what I mean? And so it's like, it's both.

What do they tell themselves? All of a sudden they're not quite attracted. I wish he was stronger. Like those kind of things. It's a lie that everyone needs to unlearn, right? Because not only should everyone have the space to show up as they fully are, but the traditionally opposite gender roles

need to be really aware of those lies because you can get someone back into hiding really fast. Oh my gosh, that's so true. You know, you talk a lot in the book, I didn't know we were gonna go here, but I'm glad we are about disconnection. Yes. It's a great story.

I'll let you read the book, guys, about a fire at a hotel that she was in that really hit me. It's actually one of my favorite parts of the book. But this relationship we have with becoming disconnected. And one of the real ways in a loving relationship in a marital one or a boyfriend, girlfriend, or same-sex relationship that you become disconnected is by not being willing to say, I'm down, I'm hurting.

It's a form of disconnection, because you're really lying to one another. You're disconnecting. Actually what I'm feeling right now is some anxiety. I'm feeling some worry. I'm scared. I'm scared right now. And when you don't share vulnerably and authentically

like that, you're creating a level of disconnection because there's no real authentic emotions and feelings being shared with one another. And that's why a lot of relationships suffer. One of them is trying to stay really, really strong. The other one is trying to put on the happy face all the time and no one's really sharing and showing up

as they really are. And I think that's the symptom of the disease that they don't feel worthy. And that's why this work is so profound. So profound, and what I'll say to that too, I think the most just staggering and profound form of disconnection is us disassociating from ourselves. Where we don't even know how we feel.

We're not even paying attention to who we really are, what we really feel. So then we're showing up in relationships and it's not even that we're intentionally sometimes not sharing it. We're just disassociating from ourselves, right? And, and, and I won't, I won't share the whole fire story, but in the middle of a life-threatening emergency, I just remember, normally I take on everyone's energy

around me, kind of like as an empath, and it was one of the times I remember literally being in such a mode, right? Disassociated from everything, was in full survival mode to get out of this hotel fire alive somehow. And I realized, oh my gosh, in hindsight, everyone had handled the fire differently. Some people froze, some people panicked,

others were screaming, running up and down the hallways. I just remember completely disassociating from everything, including my own body, and just being in full survival mode. And while that helped me in a fire and helped me find this like scaffolding to climb down the side of the building, it does not help me in life.

Like for me and maybe a lot of people can relate to this like numbing or disassociating can come in so many forms. For some people it's substances or whatever, shopping or gambling, it could be whatever, different addictions. For me it's almost always come in either food or work addiction and busyness. They do.

On the bigger pockets real estate podcast, co-host David Green and Rob Abbasolo interview real estate investors and entrepreneurs about successes, failures, and hard earned lessons. Joined by author Dave Meyer. Who wrote a book? I did write a book. It seems like you're coming out with a book every four minutes. You are one to talk. You've released two books this year. I've done half as many as you. It is more about strategy than it is about just finding whatever the new buzzword happens to be. Bigger Pockets Real Estate Podcast on YouTube

or wherever you listen. Work addiction and busyness for so many of us, we see it as a badge of honor, but often it's just a form of numbing that disassociates and disconnects you from you. And when we are disconnected and disassociated from ourselves in that way, how do you think we're showing up in our relationships?

Why do you think we feel so lonely? And Ed, I just wanna share something with you because- Wow, wow, wow, right there, yeah, go ahead. So many of us don't feel seen, we don't feel heard, we don't feel loved, but we don't feel seen, we don't feel heard, we don't feel loved, but we don't realize that so often the root of that is we don't see or love ourselves. And I'll never forget, like in the book I go in,

there's a whole chapter on do you see you. And in that chapter there's five self-worth shortcuts where I go into like literally tactical things you can do in your life right now. Some might seem silly, some might seem really profound, the things you could do in your life right now to actually connect with yourself. Because we live in a world where busyness is rewarded,

where we're disassociated all the time, where we're people pleasing everyone else at the expense of our own soul, right? Where we're just trying to strive to get what the world defines success as. We're showing it for everyone else and we expense of our own soul, right? Where we're just trying to strive to get what the world defines success as, we're showing it for everyone else and we don't even know. Like we're disconnected and disassociated from ourselves

and we crave each one of us so deeply to be seen, like so deeply. And I just wanna share that. I remember your talk show. And I remember and I show and I remember, and I watched every single episode of your season. And anyone listening who watches Ed's interviews, listens to Ed's interviews or has seen the talk show, any of that, you see people.

And you see God in people. You see God's creation in people. And when I've watched people sit in front of you, whether it's in this interview chair or in your talk show seat, and it could be someone that has committed tons of crimes, had massive amounts of failure in their lives, struggling to get by, got problems they don't know how to solve, or someone with tremendous success. You can see their their armor come down from the way you see them. And how you see God in them.

And what I wonder, and I know you know what I'm talking about, how you see them, but what I wonder is if you ever look at yourself in the mirror, Edmillette, into your own eyes, literally. When's the last time, I'm just gonna ask you this, when's the last time you looked in the mirror, anyone listening to you, into your own eyes and saw God in you and who God created,

like the magnificence that is you the worth that is you. Long time ago. You get me upset too long ago. Too long ago, too long ago. You more than anyone I know just sees the beauty and the worth in other people. Don't do that to me, okay. And when you shared earlier in the interview about- You're supposed to be crying on my show. I'm gonna be right here.

When you shared, I cried earlier, when you shared that you, still right now in this moment, struggle with feeling love, like you can love other people. One of the tools in here, probably the simplest tool in the whole book, but not quite simple when you do it, is actually like looking in the mirror in your own eyes and everyone at home like listening to this, when is the last time you actually looked in the mirror in your own eyes and saw the miracle in motion that is you. Like the beauty and the grace and the power that God made you, you. And if you can look in your own eyes

the way God breathed life into you when he created you, that's what you do for other people. That's why people are obsessed with your show. That's why I watch people just completely disarm and connect with you on your talk show. You can do that for other people. They feel that. And the most important thing is to be able

to do that with yourself. You're right. You're right. Thank you for that.. Thank you for that. I thank you for that. That's a hard one for me. And it's one that I... I went past that part of the book really quick.

Honestly. I'll be honest with you, because I'm like, I don't know if I want it. But it is simple to do. And I do need to give myself the gift of doing that. Because I know how great I feel when I see, like I said to you earlier in the interview, the Holy Spirit is flowing right now. It took us like 10 minutes. I could see it and I would love to see more of that in myself because I know that it's

there. I just, a lot of what you just said, the last 10 minutes, you know, I'm gonna cry so I don't wanna cry anymore. But even just staying busy, just staying busy, producing is a form of disconnection. And I think that it does eventually show up and rob you of some kind of connection with the people around you that you love the most

if you're not connected with yourself. So I will do that for my children. I will do that for my family. Can I add to this? I talk in the book about a book you're writing that I cannot freaking that for my children. I will do that for my family. Can I add to this? I talk in the book about a book you're writing that I cannot freaking wait for. I know it's gonna be a while before it's out, but you talk about let me tell you about you

and something you've done with your daughter, your son, you're so good at telling other people about them. So are you, by the way, but thank you. I, you are too. You see that in me because you're great at it. I would love, if you wanna know what I want for Christmas or my birthday this year, both, I want Ed Milet to look in the mirror.

I'll do it for you. And tell Ed about Ed. I'll do that for you. I will, he will. I promise you that I will do that. I'll probably do it tonight, cause I'm getting emotional. So that means I'm supposed to do something. I will do that. you. I will, I will. I promise you that I will do that. I'll probably do it tonight, cause I'm getting emotional. So that means I'm supposed to do something.

I will do that. I'll do it tonight. You don't have to wait till then. Thank you for that gift for me. Now that everybody's listening to our friendship conversation. I want to reiterate too, Ed, because you're talking about busyness and everything else. Like this is not about curbing ambition at all.

It is about like I hustle harder right now than I have ever in my life. I can attest to that. She's hustling. I work so hard. I freaking, I feel like I'm not even close to scratching the surface on my potential to impact the world. Like I'm fired up every day.

The difference is now that I've learned how to build self-worth, like I'm actually enjoying it. Instead of constantly feeling like it's never enough and I'm never enough. And so I just want to reiterate that. And also I'm disassociating into business less and I'm actually viewing it more. So these aren't, these tools, like,

I believe this to my core. If you feel like you have so much more potential in your business and in your goals and ambitions And everything else and you don't know why you're not crushing it like here's the thing y'all you want to double your business Double your self-worth like you want to double your success double your self-worth you want to double your net worth Double your self-worth like it is the one your net worth, double your self-worth. Like it is the one thing that changes everything. And if you go get worthy right here, guys, you go get this book. You've made huge strides towards doing that, that if you don't have this book, you're going to be behind on doing it. And so it's not only, you know, doing all these things in the mirror, it's getting this book because it's loaded with strategies. Go get worthy. Let me

ask you one more question and I want to talk last, just we'll finish up with, um, this has been so good. Like every time you and I are together, we have amazing conversations, but I like when we record them for the benefit of other people. And this is the best of the three that we've done. And we've done two incredible interviews before, but this is the best and, uh, and easily the best. And easily the best. And so at the end, we'll re-mention our ability,

people to get coached by us. There's a part of the book that stood out to me, and I knew a little bit of this story before, because you had shared it with me prior, but there's two things that stood out to me in the book that are subtle. One is in the very beginning of the book, you say, when was the first time,

do you remember the first time in school where you knew the answer to a question, but you didn't raise your hand? And everybody probably listening to this had that moment in their life and that's the beginning of your worthiness issues. And yeah, there was a lot of times I wanted to hide, like I said earlier.

And the other one, and it may seem surprising to you out of the entire book, but is the cinnamon roll story with your mother-in-law. And I'd like you to tell that story because I think people remember stories and then the lesson from it. And in some metaphorical way, everybody can relate to this story in some way in their life.

And I think it's another deeply personal story because it's from this person that everyone looks up to, everyone admires. Yet even at that stage of your life where you were in the midst of doing something great, this shows up. So everyone listened to this because it goes to picking on this wound of your body issues all of your life,

which is amazing to me because you're such a beautiful woman, but you definitely have carried this with you, so share that story with them and the lesson from it. You wanna know what's wild at is, on the last episode you and I did about a year ago, we touched on body issues for two seconds, like very briefly, didn't even go deep.

The number of men that sent me messages about their own challenges with not wanting to take their shirt off, like all these different things. I was like, this is a real, so inworthy. There's two chapters. One is not about your weight at all, but it is called The Lie, My Weight Determines My Worth. It's called Don't wait on your weight.

And it's not about your weight, your weights are relevant. It's about waiting on your weight to live your best life, to put on the swimsuit, to ask the person out on the date, to all of those things like what is waiting on your weight already cost you in your life. For a lot of people, it's cost them going to the reunion, saying yes to the party, saying yes to the event, right? 89% of women opt out.

Girls and women, 89% of them opt out of meaningful interactions with friends, family, and loved ones when they don't like how they look. Like, it is a thing. So we go deep into what has waiting on your way already cost you and how do you flip that script. Because I had to flip that script in my own life. I had built it cosmetics. We had over seven million women

just in the US where our customers that were, I mean, it was all about redefining beauty, empowering, right, I have rosacea, the skin condition, and I had, you know, just reveal it on national television, you know, I did over a thousand live QVC shows. What's wild is I've sold over a billion dollars in product just direct to camera. Not because the product was good and it's really good. It's because I think people finally

felt seen and they felt like connected, you know, and anyhow, even with all that, I was still, I still didn't feel confident in a swimsuit, even with all that, right? I was still waiting on my weight. It wasn't until my daughter Wunder was born and the first time that we took her swimming and I thought I'm just gonna sit on the side, covered up. And I was like, what has this already cost me in my life? And let me just make this not about me for a minute. Let me go shake my cellulite with pride

and jiggle it with joy and like show my dog. Because if I'm hiding on the sidelines, I'm telling her she's not worthy in her own skin. Let me go shake my cellulite with pride and jiggle it with joy and like show my dog. Because if I'm hiding on the sidelines, I'm telling her she's not worthy in her own skin. You know, if I'm hiding on the sidelines, I'm telling other people they should too. I'm like, no, no, no, I can't make this about me. And that was the moment I decided to flip the script

and realize what is this already cost me. But the story you're talking about is a different lie, a different chapter in the book called, I need to please them in order to love me. For everyone out there who is a people pleaser, and it is the majority of us. I kind of use this funny example of, and it wasn't only a couple years ago this happened,

we're all together at Christmas. I have, every year for Christmas I'll have, I'm adopted so I have like five different families, long story, right? And then I have a lot of friends without family and I just invite everyone for Christmas, whoever wants to come and we do big tables, a seas candy and like the whole thing.

And so we're there and my mother-in-law, Paula's mom, is extremely healthy. Like every day, salmon, broccoli, like it's very is extremely healthy, like everyday salmon, broccoli, like it's very disciplined, very, she's, I mean, and she works out, she's in great shape, like all this stuff. She's in her 70s and just so disciplined, clean eater all the time.

I cannot say that about myself, Ed. And we're sitting there and there's a, on the kitchen island, there's these hot, gooey cinnamon rolls. Right next to them is a spread of berries. There's broccoli. There's all the vegetables, right? And my mother-in-law's always on top of my husband,

Paolo, for he's like, you need to eat healthy. Don't put that, you know, all the things, like his whole life, she's teaching him how to be healthy. Now, the difference between me and Paulo is Paulo does not care what anyone has to say about anything. That's for sure. Paulo, you can criticize him, you can judge him, you can do anything.

He's either oblivious or if he's aware of it, he does not care at all. It's been good for me actually to be around that. For me though, I'm a people pleaser my whole life. I've worked very hard to learn how to undo that. Because when you people please for others, you are almost always betraying yourself. When you say yes, when you mean no,

when you say no, when you mean yes, when you, you know, all the things, you're almost always betraying yourself. In this moment, I'm sitting there with my mother-in-law feeling like I want that cinnamon roll. But if I get that cinnamon roll, she is gonna judge me. She is gonna judge me. And I was just making eye contact with the cinnamon roll.

It was like a forbidden love affair. Literally, I was like imagining telling the cinnamon roll, like listen, my mother-in-law's here, like I know we have this love affair, but I've gotta go with the broccoli today. I don't even love the broccoli. I don't even feel it with the broccoli. But today I've gotta choose the broccoli.

And like cinnamon roll, I'd rather have love that almost never happened today I've gotta choose the broccoli and like cinnamon roll. I'd rather have love that almost never happened than I've never loved at all. There's this whole dialogue in my head with the cinnamon roll. So good. And I'm like, oh, struggling, right? Like, but in that moment,

I wanted to be loved more than I wanted to be me. And I was like, I have to go with the broccoli. And the more I sat there on that day thinking about my mother and law judge, I mean, this is what happens with people pleasing. We all have this happen in our life every single day. What I know for sure and what I realized is, okay, if I choose the broccoli, because I think she's gonna love me more,

it's actually not gonna arrive at love at all, right? It's gonna arrive at her approving of someone I am not. Wow. It's gonna arrive at an inauthentic relationship that has a barrier of disconnection, a wall between us, because no matter how much approval she sends my way, I can't even receive it because I know it's not who I am authentically. So people pleasing, even though we think it puts

on the facade of making everyone happy, it just creates a barrier of disconnection between you and that person. It actually creates less love between you and that person. It actually creates less love between you and that person. So I made the decision, you know what? I wanna have real connection and love with this person. And for that to happen, I've gotta show up as who I authentically am.

And so the moment I decided to reach across with the spatula, get this hot, gooey cinnamon roll, which by the way, 30 minutes had gone by. It was not even hot anymore. It took that long. It took that long. Yeah, just debating it, just contemplating it, wanting that freaking cinnamon roll, right?

Like pretending I'm not thinking about it, all the stuff. I grab the cinnamon roll, put it on my plate. I watch her make eye contact with me. I watch her look at the cinnamon roll. And she says to me, I just love being with the grandkids. Did you know Wonders reading comprehension so good? And Wilder so, she starts chatting away about the grandkids.

And I realize she doesn't give a crap if I'm eating a cinnamon roll. She could care less. What I was doing was projecting my own insecurities onto her. It's huge. The whole time. It's huge. And I just wondered how many other times.

Oh. Right? Have I been tempted or have shown up to please someone else when they're not even thinking about it. That's right. And it's at the expense of that connection. Gosh. And so, yeah.

It's a huge, guys, it's a huge lesson. By the way, the lesson there is not eat cinnamon rolls and not broccoli. That's not what Jamie's saying. Which, you know exactly what she's saying. What she's saying here is that, well, wear these masks, or we'll show up in certain ways to project a version of ourselves that we think will be accepted rather than the one that we truly are. Yes.

And then you have no deep meaningful connections in your life You can't go deep with friends that way And I don't even think you can build great businesses or great anything or great culture if you're not truly showing up One of the most powerful things I ever did in my business career was I would literally tell people when I would hire them I don't know whether we're gonna make it or not, but we're gonna do everything we can and if we do make it It's gonna be absolutely incredible. Rather than projecting, no fear. So these things of showing up authentically matter. This has been one of the most transformative conversations

we've ever had on the show. I certainly have ever had in my life, for me. I don't think any, only one other guest has ever got me to cry on the show, which was Granger Smith recently. And I actually sent that to you going, you need to see this. Now I have another clip I have to send to people going,

you have to see this. But let me ask you this have to send to people going, you have to see this. But let me ask you this last, and by the way, everybody, make sure if you wanna get coached by Jamie and I and you want to get the book, you go to worthybook.com forward slash ed right now, get the book, get some extra books. All you have to do is get one to qualify to be coached, but there's all kinds of additional incentives

and things like that on there for you to even do more and give these out as gifts as well. And I'm excited, like like live coaching call with you. I don't even know what that would normally cost, but I mean, you get to, you guys get there with me, but you're sitting there with a person who's exited her company for over a billion dollars. And you get it, you're guaranteed just

when you pre-order the book. And by the way, I haven't even shared this. I'm donating 100% of the proceeds, 100% of the proceeds. Like this is for me, and I sell nothing on my site. Like this is literally. There's no upsells here. This is a labor of love and belief.. Like this is for me, and I sell nothing on my site. Like this is literally- There's no upsells here. This is a labor of love and belief.

Yeah, this is like, I feel like my life's greatest work, my life's mission, and you were sharing earlier, like, you know, your best position to serve the person you once were. Roy Vaden quote, for everyone listening, like one of the things I wanted to add to that is why I share so much of my past failure, pain, mistakes, regrettable incidents, embarrassing moments in here

for the first time ever is I just, what you said is so often like the things we go through, we think they were just failures or hard times or misfortunes or pain in our life, but they're actually one of the greatest keys to us discovering our purpose, right? Because the things we are going through become the things we made it through. And once we've made it through those things, we now have the power to help someone else

make it through. And so many people think, oh, I got to find my purpose in my job, and my purpose in, and I don't know what my purpose is. And you hit it on the head. Look at the things that have been sources of pain that you and it wish to ever happen to yourself again or anyone else, but you made it through those things. It's why I share some of them in the book.

It's like, you made it through them, and then look, you can find your deepest sense of purpose in this life when you help other people make it through. And the things we make it through manifest in so many different ways. Like when I'm, you know, doing over a thousand live shows on QVC, the reason the numbers were so good wasn't the product, it's that I see and understand people

and I care and I care. And I learned how to do that by working at the strip club and at Denny's and at all these places where I see and value and understand what people have gone through, what their pain is, what they're trying to overcome, how they're just trying to make it by, how they're trying to feel love

and belonging in this world. Like all of those steps are ordered, right? So the things that you've gone through that maybe you're thinking or labeling as pain or regret or things that are past failures that you wish never happened, like they can be your greatest source of purpose in this life, right?

Your greatest source of contribution. It's like the greatest gift because a lot of people try to find purpose in the wrong things and wonder why they're never feeling that they have it. Yeah. You, last time I was thinking how I was going to introduce you in the beginning. And I was going to say originally,

you know she doesn't need to do this. Because on the surface you don't. Like you just got all the money and she'll ever have or grandkids will ever need. She's already had notoriety and fame. She has great friends. Her heroes like Oprah Winfrey are now people that believe deeply in her

and she's done collaborative work with. Like she doesn't need to do this. But the more that I'm watching you today and I've been listening to you is you did need to do this and that your entire life's been preparing you for this moment right now. And there's nothing more rewarding for me than to see a friend step into authentically who they are.

And that every single moment since you were a little girl and you were adopted to you, bringing Mike his beer, and you guys will hear about that in the book, your stepdad. And I don't know why, but that just stuck with me, of you bringing your step out of beer to please him in the morning, because he wanted it. And that's one way you could get acknowledgement.

All the way through your life, been arrested at 14 and run him with the wrong crowd then, then at the gym, then at the strip club, the Denny's in between, all of the rejection, all of your life, meetin' polo, startin' at cosmetics, doing all of the things that you've done, arrives to this moment right now, and this is the most important work you've ever done in your life, meeting Paul, starting it cosmetics, doing all of the things that you've done, arrives to this moment right now, and this is the most important work

you've ever done in your life. And so you did need to do this. And I'm very, very proud of you, and I love you very much. And if you'd like to spend some time with her, then I, please go to worthybook.com, forward slash ed, and make sure you guys pick up this incredible piece of work that's a lifetime of preparation in this book. And I love you and I'm very proud of you.

Thank you for today. I love you, I love you, thank you. God bless you everybody. I don't need to ask you, but I know you will. Share today's episode. Take care. This is the Ed and Myland Show.