THE ED MYLETT SHOW - THIS Will Change Your Life w/ Jamie Kern Lima + HUGE Announcement!!!

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

I've never done this before! Want to join ME and Jamie Kern Lima for a LIVE coaching session?! All you have to do is go to https://worthybook.com/ed and pre-order Jamie's new book, "Worthy" and you'll get FREE ACCESS! This week is particularly special for me because I’m welcoming back one of my DEAREST AND CLOSEST friends, Jamie Kern Lima to the show and she’s dropping a HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT + sharing an opportunity that I’ve NEVER done before… YOU are invited to a FREE LIVE COACHING CALL with me and Jamie!Get ready for an extraordinary episode that holds the key to unlocking your self-worth and achieving true fulfillment. Jamie is a self-made billionaire, New York Times Bestselling author, Co-Founder of IT Cosmetics, speaker, and one of my BEST friends.This remarkable interview will leave you inspired and empowered as we discuss:Exploring the crucial distinction between self-confidence and self-worthHow your childhood shapes your sense of self-worthThe link between self-worth and fulfillmentJamie's incredible story of meeting the iconic OPRAHActionable steps to nurture and expand your own worthinessEmbracing the powerful truth that rejection is often divine protectionUnderstanding the profound impact of serving others on our self-worthConfronting the detrimental consequences of hiding in plain sightGet ready for an hour of vulnerability, revelation, and invaluable lessons as Jamie shares her journey of overcoming countless rejections and her own perceived shortcomings. It's a dialogue you won't want to miss—a conversation that will guide you toward embracing your own self-worth and unlocking your limitless potential.Join us on this incredible journey of self-discovery and growth. Get ready to embrace your worthiness and rewrite the narrative of your life.

This is the Edd and Mylich Show. Well, today is going to be awesome, you guys, for a few reasons. The lady sitting across for me is one of the most important people in my life, one of my most cherished, cherished friends in the world, Maybe even my bestie, if I'm being real. And so having a conversation that I get to share the two of us together with you today is an honor. She's been on the show before, and it was one of the most download, the time it was the most downloaded show of all time.

Her story is incredible in case you don't know it. This is a woman who basically went from, first off, she was adopted as a child, but she went from being a waitress at Denny's to a billionaire. And so she's waiting tables at Denny's and many, many years later through a whole bunch of struggle. And ups and downs and rejections, this woman ended up selling her company for over a billion dollars to L'Oreal and became the first female CEO of that company at that time and has become one of the most prolific influencers and speakers in the world, male or female. But most importantly, she's somebody that I trust and I admire and then I go to for advice. And so Jamie, Kernelima, welcome back to the show.

And I love it. I'm going to start crying before we even this is a big day, a big episode. I'm so excited and honored to be here with you. So thank you for having me out. It's great to have you. And the reason it's a big deal is not only because we're here together, but you all are getting the worldwide announcement and premiere of Jamie's new book that will be coming out in a little while in a few months,

but you can get access to it right now. Jamie's got a new book out. It's called Worthy and it is going to change your life. And you can get, because you're in my audience and we're such good friends, you were the first people in the world to hear about this book anywhere in the world. You can go to worthybook.com forward slash ed. And by the way, before we get into this epic conversation, if you go do that right now, you're going to get access to a unbelievable opportunity, which is a event with Jamie and I, just the two of us on Zoom.

You can enjoy out of the comfort of your home and the two of us together will be pouring all our inspiration and strategies on to you if you go get that book right now. So worthybook.com forward slash Ed. Do I do a good job right there? Yes, it's so good. I'm excited and it's live. I love this idea job right there? Yes, it's so good. I'm excited. And it's live. I love this idea. You are going to be live on a Zoom just you and me with just the people listening and watching right now.

And it's going to be powerful, right? It is going to be unbelievable. So you're a billionaire, you're a wife, you're a mother, you're a friend, you're a keynote speaker, you do all of these things and everybody's coming to you for advice and guidance and coaching. Why did you write this book right now? Because like you need another thing on your plate like nobody does, so why did you do this?

Self-worth, feeling like you are enough, right? I think at our core, so many of us men, women doesn't matter how successful we are, doesn't matter what we've accomplished, right? If we don't believe that we are enough at our core, we'll never be happy, we'll never be fulfilled. And here is this huge epiphany I've had in my life over, you know, through accomplishing so many different things,

things I thought would finally make me feel enough, all of that. And what I realized at is in life, and this is universal, I believe this to my core for every person who's with us right now, in life, you don't rise to what you believe is possible. You fall to what you believe you're worthy of. And I just, you know, there's a lot of things that, you know, I want or this or that. And I realized that my core, I either sabotaged them

or I never went for them because deep down inside, I actually didn't feel I was enough. And so this is a book that is years and years and years and years of the making. It's a book that is packed with stories I've never shared before in lessons that had I not learned them the hard way. I could have never gone from Denny's waitress as you mentioned to building a billion dollar company because I wouldn't

have believed I was worthy of it. And in life, it's like so many people focus just on, okay, you've got to have clarity on your goals and dreams. And that's really important, you have to have clarity. Or you need to know your why. And that's also really important to know your why for what you're doing know your why. And that's also really important to know your why for what you're doing or your why for every hope and dream and goal.

And it's like, okay, no, now you got to take massive action. It's like you do, you do have to take massive action. But those three things, knowing what you want, knowing why you want it, working really, really hard to taking action, they're important, they're critical, but they're not enough to actually get your goals or hopes or dreams or the kind of life or relationships that you want to happen.

Because if you don't believe they're possible and you don't actually believe you're worthy of them, you'll never get them. 100%. Right? And if you get them, but you don't believe you're worthy, you'll lose them or you'll find a way to sabotage them. Gotcha. You guys, go back that last two minutes, what she just said is a 100% truth.

It's a 100% truth. And just so you all know, Jamie does not brag. Just, you cannot get Jamie to talk about herself. You can go five, six hours, and we're like, okay, we're gonna talk about you today. And you, five hours later, you've been talking about yourself because she's just that way. And when she went away, we were together,

and she went away a few weeks later and wrote the book, the beginning of the book, and she called me, she goes, I'm just gonna tell you something, this is good. This is gonna be unbelievable. I'm so damn excited. And for her to tell me, by the way, I think I'm the first person that's read the book outside of like you and your family.

And I have to tell you, I told her, I said, I was crying reading it because there's stories in there about her struggling with her own worth that she's never shared before that are incredibly vulnerable, very courageous stories to tell. At the same time, she's Jamie's a tactician. And so there are strategies and tactics in this book, some of which we're going to cover here today that'll help you with this worthiness concept. So I'm asking you this, I'm just curious, how about right now? Like you sit in front of me, you've had all these accomplishments.

Do you still have any struggles with this stuff like to this day with, because stuff I teach people how to get better at, most of the time it's still stuff that I'm working on myself on I should go. So does Jamie currently must still struggle to this day with her worthiness? Every single day, every single day,

and a little less every single day, and a little less, every single day, I think it's a lifelong journey. And here's a huge breakthrough that I'm gonna share. First on your show, never spoken about this before, but it is powerful, it's changed my life, is there is a massive difference between self-confidence and self-worth. What's the difference?

Okay, so here's the thing. And y'all, when I had this breakthrough and really started doing the work here, it changed everything in my life. So self-confidence. Most of the difference. Okay. So here's the thing. And y'all, when I had this break through and really started doing the work here, it changed everything in my life. So self-confidence, right? It's deeply internal, of course. It's a trait, but it is most closely linked with external things. So, you know, the willingness to try, the confidence to try, the willingness to go for

it, how you assess things on the outside, meaning how you assess your strengths, your skills, how you compare to others, right? Your self-confidence, you build, and it's super, super important, but it is most closely linked to things that can fluctuate, that aren't always in your control, right? Like there's a boxer story about how, you know, the boxer that wins is automatically 20% more, you know, better, a better boxer because all of a sudden they believe they are, right? Self-confident, but all of a sudden, if that guy loses or that woman loses,

you know, three or four times in a row, their self-confidence can fluctuate. And your self-worth is deeply internal. It's believing you are enough exactly as you are, you are enough, you are valuable, you're worthy exactly as you are, it's deeply internal and it doesn't fluctuate based on external things.

Now here's the big breakthrough. You can be, so for anyone listening right, I'm gonna get fired at them and jump out of the seat. Jump out of the seat. For anyone listening right now, if you are someone who is like, okay, when this thing finally happens

Then I'm gonna be enough, you know when when when I finally get married or have the kids Or I finally had a you know seven figures in my business or eight figures or nine figures or ten figures When I finally get my six pack when I finally right and then you get that thing and It's like okay, it's great for a minute. Yes. But it's never quite enough. Yes. It's because you have built confidence. You have built confidence in that journey. Now, you have confidence in your body and your six pack. Now, you have confidence in your business, but your self-worth has not changed.

And you there are so many people and this is me most my entire life where I thought if I achieve enough, I'll finally feel Enough if I achieve if I have accomplished this thing if I build a billion dollar business If I feel confident in a swimsuit whatever it is then I'll finally feel enough But you can have all the confidence in the world and you will not be fulfilled if you do not have strong self-worth. And that is huge because... Wow, can I just say something? Oh, wow. You just described me.

Like, even now, I've worked... That is awesome what you just flipping said right there. Holy smokes. Because you and I talk all the time, you've never said that to me before. Whoa, so sorry you guys. So I just wanna say this to you, I have really built a lot of self confidence,

but I don't know that I built that much self-worth. And so at is why I haven't enjoyed a lot of the successes that I've had, and to the extent that I have in you too, man, you are on there. Do you think the self worth thing for most people is not all of it, but do you think a lot of it is shaped in childhood from experiences because I know being raised by an alcoholic

is pretty hard to have a lot of self worth, right? Because I don't think my dad had self worth. And I think, I don't wanna assume everybody knows this. Tell them a little bit about your childhood. And do you think a lot of this is shaped self-worth early in our lives? I know there could be an event later where you're like, I just lost all my self-worth, he left me.

Or I went bankrupt, or she cheated on me, or whatever it might be, but I do think a lot of it can come from childhood. It can, it's also the reinforced our whole life. We're in a culture that rewards when you do things that get external applause, they're almost always tied to confidence or productivity or things that are external. And we grow up believing that if we do those things, we'll be happy. Every single commercial or ad or most companies are based on you achieving an emotion.

If you get this thing, but it's almost always external. And then we're raised by families often, whether they're well-intended, healthy or not, we've never learned this. We've never learned this. Where did you get this distinction from? Huge breakthrough actually over a really mortifying, embarrassing story. I've never shared before that has to do with Oprah. And by the way, I don't want to say this is something I believe affects everybody. I think that if you really, I don't want to get too granular

here because we'll be on for hours. But you think about, you know, I mean, look at our country, life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It's something that we have to pursue. It's not like, oh, we shouldn't innately be happy, right? There's so many things all around us. I don't want to get started. I didn't come here to look cute today. Let's go. Fire it up. But here's the thing. There's so many things all around us that tell us if we finally get the thing, if we finally are, you know, whatever, then we'll be happy. And I believe, I believe a couple things. I believe you need both self-worth and self-confidence, right? Just because you have self-worth and believe

you're enough as you are doesn't mean you're now complacent and you're like just chilling because that's not a recipe for fulfillment either. But if you do not have self-worth, you will never be truly fulfilled no matter how much you accomplish. So you need both, right? So you need both of those things. And this is why I wrote worthy and it's why it's such a breakthrough. Because for anyone out there who does not feel like there are enough and maybe you're really good at hiding it because you are crushing it in every area of your life or you're just really good at being the strong one or whatever it might be. But I believe that that deep lack of internal worthiness is why nothing ever feels enough.

It's why we don't feel enough. It's why we finally get that big thing and then we're not happy or fulfilled. Or it's why we sabotage things in our life because we don't believe or worry of them. And so how this happened for me is my whole life, I grew up watching Oprah and my living room. And that was sort of like, you know, I just, my whole life, I thought one day, you know, I am gonna interview other people

and share their stories with the world. And I just always knew, and I had this knowing that made no sense, but I just knew I would meet her. I just knew it. And I was like this little girl in a suburb in Washington, stadium. Like everybody else was, right? Yeah, yeah, like exactly.

And, and, and, you know, when I eventually went, it's a long story that I'll cut, because I want to get to the point of it. But I eventually met her at one of her live events backstage. And after meeting her, I wrote her a very long email. And through sheer grace, it got forwarded. And she eventually got it. And long story short, she invited me to lunch at her house.

So this is I'm cutting through a lot of how this happened, but I had lunch with Oprah at her home. I had lunch with Oprah. Did you hear that? She just said, just so you know, this little girl who's adopted, who's watching her on television ends up, you just knew, but now I'm invited.

I mean, put yourself in this position, everybody, whoever your hero is, and that Oprah was your hero for the most part, right? Your hero is now inviting you to lunch, because that part of it matters because of the rest of the story what happens afterwards. So now you're gonna go see Oprah, go ahead. Yes, I know you're one of the few people on the planet

that knows the story, so I'm sure it's for the first time. And honestly, it's embarrassing, but sometimes the biggest struggles or setbacks or mortifying moments or pain we go through is not to set back. It's really a setup for what we're supposed to do. And this certainly was for me. So I end up going to Oprah's house, literally shaking in my boots,

but also, I was in this moment in my life. This was about five years ago, five or six years ago. Super confident. I was so confident. I had just, you know, my company was exploding and I was so proud of, you know, impacting millions and millions of women and trying to change the definition of beating the industry. All these things. And I was really self-confident and also of course, crazy nervous to meet her and really actually sit down and we had lunch for several hours just me and her and at the very end of lunch at her house, she wrote down her cell number. She gave me her cell phone number and said, call me anytime, you know, just like that. And, I left and I did not call her for four years.

Oh my gosh. I didn't call her for four years. And, when we talk about sabotaging something, right? And, anyone out there who has done this in some way their life and a relationship, a friendship, a career move, whatever it might be, this was like, for me, the person that, you know, my whole life. And now I have her cell phone number. For four years, I would tell myself things like, oh, you know what?

Like, I don't have the right thing to say yet. But when I get the right thing, then I'm going to call her. Or, oh, you know, everyone always wants something from her, right? I'd make up the story I'd tell myself. Everyone always wants things from her. I want to make sure she knows. I don't want things from her right? I didn't make up the story. I tell myself, everyone always wants things from her. I want to make sure she knows. I don't want things from her. I'm here for real true friendship. So I'm not going to bug her or I would always tell myself these versions of why I wasn't calling her. And four years went by.

She's incredible. And I had this huge epiphany. I was like, oh, I'm not calling Oprah because deep down inside, I don't think I'm worthy of being her friend. In spite of all your success. Yep. Yep. So at that moment, I realized this is a huge breakthrough because I realized, oh, I have a lot of self-confidence, but not self-worth. Gosh, Jamie. And you can have one without the other. And it's why when you keep accomplishing things

or you keep, you know, the thing finally happens, you finally, you know, get that dream relationship, you finally have the kids or you finally have the breakthrough in your business. But it looked, why am I not happy? Why am I not fulfilled? Why isn't not enough? Huge breakthrough for me. And when I realized it, and I was super embarrassed,

but B, I realized that is my head, my own self-doubt, my own lack of self-worth telling me these things, but in my soul, I know I am definitely worthy of being her friend because I'm a kickass friend. Like I'm a ride. You're an unbelievable friend. Like I'm a rider, I'm a friend. You are. Like I, so I'm like I know in my soul I'm worthy of being her friend.

And that was the moment I decided to call her. So real. Yeah. Yeah. So by the way, we're gonna talk about this you and I in our live day with everybody who goes to, by the way, I'm gonna just do it because she's my friend worthybook.com-forceleset.

And I'm doing it because all of you listening are my friend and I want you to have this book. I don't come out this hard on books, you guys know this, right? So I'm telling you, go do it and then you're gonna get the time with Jamie and I want you to have this book. I don't come out this hard on books, you guys know this, right? So I'm telling you, go do it, and then you're gonna get the time with Jamie and I as well. But in spite of that day, give me something you've done. Hmm. Granular will go granular.

That has helped you begin to work on worthiness because this distinction, even in prepping for this, the reason I'm doing what I'm doing right now, we prepped, we talked about this, I read the book, but I don't think I really made this correlate of difference between confidence and worthiness. So what's something we could all do right now, a practice or a strategy for growing our worthiness level? Okay, let's dive in. Okay.

And two things. We'll get granular now, but the book obviously has so much more. And then when you and I do live, and I want to say thank you for this, I don't think I said thank you off the top, but you know, when you're an author, right? Why are we doing this? It's like, I never realized this before I wrote a book is that when you pre-order the book early, it's a huge gift to an author because then retailers know like, oh, there's demand for it. Yeah. And so, you know, it's, we wanted, I author because then retailers know like, oh, there's demand for it. Yeah.

And so, you know, it's, we wanted, I just wanted to do something really, really special for everyone listening and the fact that if they pre-order the book and they, they're live on a Zoom with you and me, let's dive. Like, we'll go deep into self-doubt and the building self-worth. I'm so excited. So thank you again for that. So, by the way, everybody, she's going to give you a tactic right now, but let me just say one thing to you.

This is the only show. This is the worldwide announcement for her book. So I wanna ask you because, you know, Jamie's so remarkable in what you're gonna learn and feel today is so remarkable. Share this episode because it's the way people are gonna find out the books coming out, right? So please share this episode.

You can do it right now and keep listening or keep watching, but give us one thing we could do on our wireless. Okay, great. And it'll go away, by the way. I didn't even say that, sorry. But this is like something really special. Just for pre-orders, but it'll go away. So if you want to be live with Ed, grab it now.

They want to share it. They're with me all the time. They're going to want to be with you. But okay. You know, here's a big one for me is changing my relationship with rejection. This is, you know, for every person listening, when you change your and watching us to, when you change your relationship with rejection. And this is, for every person listening, when you change your and watching us to you,

when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life. You change your entire life. And I think fear of failure and rejection kills so many dreams. It keeps us stuck. And this was huge for me. And so just to take everyone through a tactical,

let's just let's just go though, let's do a tactical exercise right now because this is something that outside of this episode, you're going to want to reapply it, spend more time on it, do the work on it. But just right now, as you're listening or watching us, answer this question to yourself super honestly, super honestly. When you fail at something or get rejected, what is the first thought that goes through your head? Very first thought. When you fail at something or get rejected, what's the first thought that goes through your head? For me, most of my whole life, it's, oh, yep, there's proof again, I'm not enough. I'm not enough. Sounds very familiar.

Yeah is that yours then? Yes, yeah. Same. Right now whatever your thought that just came to your mind right that you just your instant truth first response that is your current definition of rejection. Right. So for me it's oh there's proof I'm not enough right. For a lot of people it's, oh, there's proof I'm not enough, right? For a lot of people, it's something like, oh, yep, I'm not smart enough. I don't have what it takes. I'm stupid. I'm, you know, X, Y, or Z. I didn't go to the right school and it come from the right family.

I don't have what it takes. I'm, oh, yeah, it's because of my weight. Oh, it's, whatever it might be, right? We all have this definition of rejection. And I want you to just take note of yours right now, because this is really powerful. Don't skip over this. This one thing will change your life.

If you take note of what is your current definition of rejection, for me, it's, I'm not enough, right? And- Can I tell you what mine's more specifically? Just a little bit more refined because I want to meet you in the middle on it. I think mine is like, I don't belong here. Yeah.

So it's slightly different, but like, I don't belong here. I don't know, I think there's probably some things where, when I was a kid, my dad would is like, I don't belong here. Yeah. So it's slightly different, but like, I don't belong here. I don't know, I think there's probably some things where when I was a kid my dad was like, yeah, we don't belong. But if I get into an environment, I don't belong here. If it's a big stage of speak on or a room that I'm in, or people that are smarter than me, I don't belong here. I feel like I just physically, literally don't belong.

Or even different things I've achieved or levels, or like the first time I even walked into a country club, I wanted to join. I don't belong here. They don't know the real me. Like I don't belong here. And so I just want to give the phraseology from me. Maybe it's, could be male, female,

it could be just person to person that's different. Keep going. I didn't erupt as you guys wanted to add that. No, that's so good. I think that sheds a lot of light to you for, for, because get granular with, you know, for everyone joining us with it right now, just get granular on what that is for you, you know, and, and, and by the way, I have another thing. Oh, I hope we have time. I'm going to dive deep on what you just said. I haven't dived deep in that in a minute with a whole other topic. Good. But yeah, I don't belong here. That's huge, right? I don't belong here. I'm deep on what you just said. I've been deep in that in a minute with a whole other topic. Very good. But yeah, I don't belong here.

That's huge, right? I don't belong here. I'm not enough. And at our core, we all want to feel like we're enough and we'll be loved, right? We all need love and belonging. We all need to be seen and heard and know that we matter. And at our core, that's a huge one.

Did you have the belonging thing I wondered? Because you didn't, you know, your birth mom gave you up real early, right? So like, did you, or did your mother who raised you make you feel like you belonged immediately? Or did you struggle without it all? I have struggled without my whole life. Have you? Yeah.

Yeah, not feeling like I fit in, not feeling I belong, feeling I'm different. Yes. And maybe you are different. And maybe that's a good thing. It doesn't mean you don't belong, but I am different. You are different. I maybe you are different and maybe that's a good thing. It doesn't mean you don't belong, but I am different. You are different.

I know you. By the way, those of you that are listening, you are different. That's why you're individually you. Yes. That's the thing that makes you different is your special sauce. Yes. Not the thing that eliminates you from the room or the environment. It's what makes you special to add something to your family, add something

to a company, add something to another human being, is these different things about you? So anyhow, you're going to your stranger. And to add to that, it's your superpower. If you are showing up in this world as your authentic self, by definition, you've never been done before. There's never been another you. And we think the thing that is different or quirky or awkward about us is what's wrong with us. But it's actually the thing that's right with

us, right? And I don't want to get off on a huge tangent. But like, had I not embraced all a crap that was technically wrong with me, I could have never built a billion dollar company. Like, Rosacea is considered a flaw. It's considered something wrong with me. And it's like when I finally started to embrace it and share it and step into it, right? That's when other people felt seen. I was like, oh, me too. And I have skin challenges or this or that or whatever. And it's like, there's a whole chapter and worthy about this idea of how you're not crazy.

You're just first. I love this. Not crazy. You're just first. And, and, oh gosh, okay, I can talk about that for hours, but this, the lessons around this will change your life. It's, it's why this book just came through me. I'm, I'm donating 100% of the proceeds. I'm not even doing this to sell books, but this book will change your life, and I'm so fired up about

it. Um, but to get real tactical, okay, back there. So we just did our new definition, or sorry, your, your current definition of rejection, which for me is like, oh, yep, proof again, I'm not enough. Or Ed is, you know, I don't belong here, right? And take note of what yours is that came to your mind right now. And step one of literally changing your entire life. Again, I believe this through my core, when you change your relationship with rejection, you change your entire life, your business, your family, your relationships, your goals and dreams,

ever stepping into your calling. So I want you to come up with a new definition of rejection that you are going to believe is true and remind yourself of every time it happens. And I'm going to give you a couple examples of. So, for example, when I went through years of hundreds and hundreds of nose and rejections building it cosmetics and I would sit there, Ed, and I would Google all of my greatest heroes or people I thought I had so much respect for and as I would read their stories, I'm like,

oh, they've all gone through tons of rejections in their life, right? Every single one of them, right? And I came to this realization that the people who succeed the most are also the people who fail the most because they're the people who try the most and keep going. And so I started telling myself this new definition of rejection, which is, it's a victory. It means I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it. Yes.

And I started telling myself that every time I call a new retailer on the phone, I'm like, oh, no, no, you're not the right fit for us or this or that or whatever. And it would hurt my feelings. It's not that I was immune to being hurt or whatever. But I'm like, oh, you know what? I'm one of the brave ones willing to go for it, which means eventually I'm going to succeed. And I started seeing rejection in this weird way as a positive thing. Another definition that I use a lot is rejection is God's protection, right?

And I use this one a lot and there are more in my own life and my own head, right? This is something I tell myself over and over. There's more stories than I can count where I'm like, and by the way, one example is it cosmetics. I mean, there was one investor midway through the journey that said, he passed on investing, and I thought we were down to almost bankrupt, right? We had under $1,000 in our account, which was the company and our personal,

which meant we had a few weeks left before we went bankrupt. And everything was on the line. And I had this big meeting with a potential investor and, and you know, the story, Ed, but it's so unbelievable. It's so unbelievable. And, you know, he passed on investing. And I really was thinking he was going to be like my saving grace.

And he said that he didn't think women would buy, make it from someone who looks like me with my body and my weight. And it was a whole thing and I wait a second. Hey, got it. Did you all just hear what she said? Okay, I want you to imagine you struggle with worthiness issues. You've been building this company forever. I just want to make sure because I think what you're about to tell them the belief system that you took from it could change the world. So the first thing is I want to go back. Okay.

You're not crazy. You're just first. I want everyone to just digest that. I want you to hear what this woman said. Who knows about this stuff? You are not crazy to be pursuing your dream. You're just first. And you're probably first in your family, which is why they're the ones you think you're the craziest. You need to accept this. Okay. There's a profound, Jamie has this ability to say profound deep things over and over again hundreds of them. And she doesn't know you are not crazy. You're just first and your family's probably not gonna get it. And even in your own company, maybe them, they're not gonna get it. And so that's okay. The second thing is, this woman's struggling with worthiness all of her life. She's getting rejected like crazy

up and down. She's also struggled one of her worthiness issues is she had Rosacea, she's struggled with body issues all of her life if we're going to get really real with Jamie. She's had body issues. So imagine your biggest insecurity is probably that. It's physical. Okay. She says gorgeous, you know, beautiful woman, but she doesn't know it. And so her number one insecurity is probably her body issue, at least that, operating out of the real world. She goes into this meeting, needing it. She's down to a grant. He not only rejects her. He says to you, I'll let you say it again.

He tells her the very reason I'm rejecting you is the very thing you think about yourself, the most deeply. I want you to imagine this. So go ahead. Yes. And we had gone through a meeting after a meeting. We went through the diligence phase. We were so close with this potential investor who was ahead of a private equity company.

And in the final meeting, he's actually, it was in person. So he's about three feet from me. Paul and my husband was on the other side and he says, you know, congratulations. You should be so proud of this product and what you've built. but it's a no. We're going to pass on investing. And when I said, can you tell me why? It's usually feedbacks the gift and he got very quiet. And he says, you want me to be really honest with you. And I said, yes, please. And he said, I just don't think women will buy makeup from someone who looks like you with your body and your weight. And two things though, and, okay, because rejections and the pain that they cause can take us out.

They can take us down, they can take us out. We can keep replaying them over and over and over in our heads. And by this point, I had so many rejections. This was just one that I thought was gonna be my saving grace that had he said yes. And I remember after I cried in my car, I remember telling myself rejection is God's protection.

And I don't know how this is going to be God's protection. I don't see it now. It doesn't make sense to me now. I needed it to be a yes now, but I'm going to choose to believe that. Because if I don't believe that, it's going to take me down. I'm not going to get back up and keep going and embracing more rejection,

more rejection, and more rejection, and more rejection, right? And here's what ended up happening. I didn't hear from that guy for six years. The day that L'Oreal bought my company for $1.2 billion cash because they are a public company, it was all over the press, right? Home page of the Wall Street Journal everywhere. That was the first time I heard from that potential,

yeah, in six years, he said, congratulations, on the L'Oreal deal, I was wrong. Gosh. And what I wanted to say to him, Ed? Yeah, right. Was, did you ever see Pretty Woman? Yes. The character's Edward, of course,

I saw Pretty Woman, I love that movie. So when they wouldn't help her in the store, and then she goes back later, what I wanted to say to him was big mistakes. Huge, huge. I knew you went point two billion reasons while I was a huge mistake, but I kept it classy. I didn't say that, but here's my point in this.

Had he invested it, it would have been the most successful investment in his firm's history, but guess what? I was so desperate at the time, Ed. I probably wouldn't give them the majority of the company from us to no money, right? Because he didn't believe in me when we sold to L'Oreal, it was a large shareholder. So it's like rejection is God's protection and sometimes we don't see it when it happens. So that's one... Can we don't see it when it happens. And so that's that's one.

Can we say something on that too? Yeah. Okay, so because her and I talk about these things all of the time. First of all, it's one of the most unbelievable stories ever and I've heard it many times. A few weeks ago, I went to watch Jamie speak. I'm in the front row. I'm going to say I'm rooting for my friend, but I got emotional again. I started crying again.

And actually right now, if I'm not careful, I will because I'm picturing this woman who all of her life is struggled with worthiness. And then to have someone hit you right where he's hit. But rejection is God's protection, is one of the fundamental beliefs I've never heard said before that if you adapt and adopt that belief in your life, it will change your life. Here's how much you relationship with rejection matters. My children

both you get that stage, you know, Max and Bella, both of them are, you know, hey, they're in college, you get ready for their careers and Max done said, maybe I'll follow in your footsteps, dad, get into sales in the beginning. And I said, Max, the whole key if you're going to go into business for yourself is your ability to deal with rejection. It's the number one thing. Can you deal with rejection and what's the story? You tell yourself, because it's not the stories of our life, the events of our life that define it. It's the meaning we attach to it.

Our friend, Arumik Manas, had a great post I saw today, by the way, Jamie, where he said, emotions only store in our body when they're attached to a story. So if there's no story, if you had a lot of emotions, your life that don't stick because you didn't attach a story to it, but when you attach a story to it. there's no story, if you had a lot of emotions, your life that don't stick because you didn't attach a story to it. But when you attach a story to it,

so that story you tell yourself. So you take it a step further. This is an all-time moment on podcast. She's about to give you, just so you know, guys, okay. So not only is rejection God's protection, but what else did you eventually uncover that you realized about what God was doing

on your behalf in that rejection in terms of hiding something for him. Yes. You guys listen. Your life's about to change in this next one minute right here because if you can adapt this true belief system, it's not only a belief, it's a truth about your life. Your life's about to be very different, including mine the first time I heard it, so go for it. Yeah. If you're someone that you know you are holding on to pain from a past relationship,

a past failure, mistakes that you've made, someone who did you wrong, somebody the job you didn't get, the thing that's not going your way, whatever it might be, the partner that screwed you over, whatever it is, right? This definition of rejection is probably the most common when I applied in my life right

now, every single almost every single day at because sometimes you know what? A friend doesn't invite you to coffee or include you in a group and it hurts your feelings, right? Whatever it might be, this is now what I believe most commonly when rejection happens in my life. I imagine my creator, God saying, oh no, no, no, you weren't rejected. I hid your value from them

because they're not assigned to your destiny. And I believe that, right? When things don't go my way right now, when someone doesn't give me the thing or want me there or include me in the room, whatever it might be, or doesn't give me the thing or want me there or include me in the room, whatever it might be, or doesn't get me for some reason. You have ever tried to make someone just,

you wanna connect with them so bad, you want them to like you and they just don't. Whatever it might be, I believe this through my core and it has changed my life, that I always now hear God saying to me, oh no, no, you're not rejected, you weren't rejected. I hid your value from them because they're not assigned to your destiny.

It's one of the all-time greatest things I've ever heard. And I wish every human being could hear it. And I hope you share this, everybody, this episode. I want my daughter to know that. I want my daughter to know it so badly that when you walk in a room and a boy doesn't notice you like you like them to Well, you don't get invited to something or you get rejected in a sail down the road in your life Or if you're in a relationship and somebody leaves you. Yes

God had started to hide your value from them. Yes And I'm telling you at 52 and Jamie can tell you as a much younger woman than I am but having a lot of success in their life It is so profoundly true that that's what God's doing. He is protecting you in that moment by either hiding your value or taking the perception of your value away when they once did. And sometimes in life to get you out of a relationship or out of a company or out of a job you have and you've been fired. Yes. You've been fired. Yes. Maybe they used to value and now they don't and God's removed that value from them to protect you. Yes.

It's so beautifully true. I didn't mean to interrupt you, but I just want to say it. True. Yeah, and I love what you said earlier. Share this episode with anyone who needs to hear this. How is serving people helped you? It's not in any of the things we were going to talk about, but probably more than anybody you know, and certainly in your case, one of the many, I know like we're really doing whatever this is we're doing.

Yeah. For service for you and I. Neither one of us financially have a need to do it. You I give away all the proceeds from my book. You're doing the same thing. Yeah. Um, how is service to other people? Changed your life or created more bliss in your own life?

I just want to know that because for me, yeah. I feel the most worthy often times in my life when I'm in the service of somebody else. Yes. I actually feel worthy. I don't always feel worthy that I'm capable of doing it. But when I'm in the effort and attempt to serve somebody,

I feel more connected with my own worth when I'm serving another person. Yeah. So in the book, where are they? There's a whole chapter on fulfillment, right? And first of all, self-worth is the most critical piece because you can do everything right. You can have self-confidence.

You can be growing. You can be contributing and serving. But if you don't have self-worth, you're never going to feel truly fulfilled. So you have to have self-worth, which, of course, the book's packed with how do you build that, right? But then you also need self-confidence and you also need growth.

You need to be growing, stretching, like in some area of your life. And it could be simple things like growing in your faith or growing in your golf game, right? It doesn't matter what it is. You have to be growing to fulfill, but you also have to be contributing, meaning doing something bigger than yourself.

And a lot of people miss that. They think, oh, if I just make enough money, if I just have enough people love me on social media, if I just, whatever it might be, if you are not contributing, you'll never feel that deep source of purpose and fulfillment. And two big ways on how do I contribute? I have nothing to offer.

So many people think that, right? And you and I have a friend Rory that always talks about how we're best positioned to serve the person we once were. And another way to put that is so often the pain we've gone through, the setbacks, the things that sucked, right? It's like when we're able to then use those

and help other people make it through the things we've gotten through, it brings a deep sense of purpose and also understanding of the cadence of the calling of our life and everything we've gone through. But also, there's simple ways to give back. I mean, literally just smiling at a neighbor. I mean, it is that simple. There are people, so many people,

I'm gonna cry if I think about this and talk about this, but so many of us, if you make Icon, and Ed, you're one of the best people I've ever met at this. I feel like it's why we're so we're such good friends because we Both see this and other people. You're one of the best people I've ever met at seeing other people like truly seeing other people Let's just be real. We both know you're the best at that. You're amazing at it. And anyone who wants to go, how do I serve? You know how you serve? Walk into the coffee shop, but wherever you're at, and see someone.

Actually, see somebody and just say, hi, or how are you? Or I almost guarantee you for some to cry. I almost guarantee you for so many people. If you walk into anywhere, any room you're in today and you're life and you actually just see somebody, you're probably gonna be the only person that day. That sees them. You're so brilliant.

You're so brilliant. So where I started practicing this was in places like coffee shops because I didn't feel worthy to do it in like business environments. So I actually practiced it like in grocery stores and coffee shops and I recommend everybody do it. And so let's just say you went to order your coffee in the baristas there. Hey, what can I get you welcome? And you just take a second and there's a pause. I

see I do this now as who I am, but at first I had to practice. And so I would let them pause and I'd go, hey, how are you? And I'll just take a second, how are you today? And you look at them and you hold the glance and actually wait for them to answer you. They feel that energy. And the first few times I did it, it was awkward and I went, well, I'm actually, I get the added bonus to my coffee today. I connected with this human being. Yes. And as I'm walking well, I'm actually, I get the added bonus to my coffee today. I connected with this human being.

Yes. And as I'm walking out, I felt better. I know they felt better, but I felt better. What I didn't know until I read your book is I actually felt a little bit more worthy. And then when I went into business meetings, I had a little bit more of the worthy bucket filled up because I did exactly in the exact environment, you go to a cashier that grows your store. How are you today?

Like, and you actually listen and say it a little slower. Hey, how are you? That's not the same thing as how are you? Yeah. And they feel you actually want to know when you care. Slowing your life down like that. You're like, what's that gonna do with business? I don't know.

Best person I know what doing that is you. You said I'm the best person you know in doing that is you. You said, I'm the best person. You know what doing that is me. And we're two of the richest people in this entire space. So there's some correlative property to it to business as well, right? It's got to be. And two things happen. You see that other person.

So now all of a sudden, you're in service. Something bigger than yourself. But when you see that other person and they realize it, they then see you. The moment they realize you saw them is the moment they see you. When you actually see someone else and in that moment they realize it and then they see you, you actually feel seen and here's something that is so powerful and profound and huge when we realize we do this in our lives. It is so many of us and I'm talking about no matter where you're at in your career or

your goals or your ambitions or the version of success in your life that the world celebrates, right, whether it's having the kids and whatever it is, no matter where you're at in that, we are so tempted always to actually still live our lives hiding in plain sight, never actually showing who we truly are, never actually allowing our true self to be seen, just showing up with the parts of us that the world celebrates, and we start creating barriers of disconnection in our lives. But more than celebrates, and we start creating barriers of disconnection in our lives, but more than that, right? And we wonder why we're not fulfilling relationships, but more than that is we create a barrier of disconnection with ourselves. We don't actually see ourselves. And just to

give this analogy for everyone listening, right? For you, for me, for everyone watching us is maybe you remember the moment as like a little kid in class and think back to when you're a little kid, maybe three, four, five, six, seven, eight, the very first moment when you knew the answer, but you decided for the first time ever not to raise your hand. Because you thought, well, what if I'm wrong? What if I get made fun of what if I no longer belong after I do that? And that is the for so many people the moment that self doubt starts to set in the moment we become aware of these things the moment We start to start to shrink our our self worth and our self confidence and that moment, we start hiding in plain sight. And then what does that look like today as an adult? For a lot of people, it looks like,

oh, you're on a Zoom meeting with your team. And you have an idea, but you don't raise your hand. You don't share it. Just in case it sucks, right? It looks like, oh, you're the boss, and maybe you're crushing it and you're hitting numbers every single quarter, but you actually have some novel ideas to innovate and move your company or your industry forward.

But you're not going to do them because you're scared to take a risk, right? Because you're crushing it now, that is hiding in plain sight. It looks like maybe you're the extrovert that walks into the room and can entertain everyone else, but no one actually knows what you're really dealing with. Yes. Right? You're hiding in plain sight. That's the most profound thing. You said that the other day. I do feel like people hide in plain sight. Yep. By the way, ask yourself am I doing that? Yeah. Am I playing small? Am I shrinking? Do I not raise the proverbial hand in so many moments in my life when I could step forward and take my power. And to add to that to Ed is when you ask yourself this, right, what are the ways you're hiding in plain sight in your life and it might be in work, it might be in your romantic relationship,

it might be in your friendships. Do you know how many people feel like they've got to play a part to fit into a friend group? But then they feel lonely because those friends actually don't know them for who they truly are. There's so many ways we're hiding in plain sight so often in our lives. And the most important thing you can do is not just identify it.

And I take you through so many exercises on how to do this in worthy and the book. Coming out, which you can pre-order now, and get a special live zoom with Ed and me if you do it. Where the book dot com forced last ad. That's right. And it's going to go away. So just do it now.

But I go deep in this because the most important thing is not just to identify in your life all the ways you're hiding in plain sight, all the ways that self-doubt is impacting your life, but then to identify what is hiding in plain sight already cost you in your life. What does it cost you in your goals and dreams? What does it cost you in the depth of connection you have in your relationships and in your friendships, right? What does it cost you? And then when you really go through the work of going, what will it cost you? really go through the work of going, what will it cost you? I've 10 years from now if you don't change. And you start really opening your eyes,

that we're always wired as human beings to avoid pain. And when you really do the work here, and you understand what it's gonna cost you, what it has cost you, what it will cost you, that pain will be greater. Then the pain of, you know what? I might get rejected people, I might lose some friends, I might be embarrassed, people might not get me, but I'm not going to hide anymore. I'm going to show up and I'm going to be seen.

Like, not just the parts of me, I think I need to be, but like the true parts of me. I am so blessed to have friends like you who sharpen me all the time. That is so, so, so important. And also, you don't need to hold out for a hero in order to go after your dreams. It's an excuse, it's a lie, it is an indication of unworthiness to believe that we need somebody else before we're enough. Or once that person shows up and I'm married then, I'll be enough. Once I have kids in my life, then I'll be enough.

Once I have kids in my life, then I'll be enough. Once I get that dream mentor, then my business will take off. All of it is a lie. It's a lie that leads to self-doubt. And it's why I wrote this book because it's packed with truths that wake up worthiness. Because when you, again, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams in life, you always will plateau at the level of your self-worth. And when you get that right, it changes everything.

And by the way, I'm getting so fired up, not to like go into the personal growth world or anything, but so, so, what I realized is like so much of the work you hear thought leaders doing around overcoming limiting beliefs, you might have a limiting belief that you'll never make a lot of money or you're too young or too old or whatever it might be.

You can do all the work of overcoming those limiting beliefs, but if you do not do the work on overcoming the limiting beliefs about worthiness, it does not matter because you can accomplish everything again and go, okay, I believe I'm smart enough. Now, I believe all the things, those are building yourself confidence. If you don't do that in network of building your worthiness, then you'll sabotage all the stuff that you bring into your life. And the last thing, because we're gonna run out of time,

but I wanna make sure they hear the great hack of the book. So there's all these micro strategies in the book that I would call, they're actually huge strategies, but for me in my life, I call them micro compared to the big one. And in the book, and by the way, she's not telling me, but she actually considered for a while Julia Roberts,

career in pretty woman. She's had a conversation about it. So it was probably not a very serious one, but it gets to that extent in our lives when we lack worthiness. So the great hack in your life, though, of your self-worth has been what? What's it been?

This is around faith. Yeah, it's around faith, and this is a big one. How many, and you know, this is, I think, a universal principle, ed, no matter what faith people practice, or if you believe in the universe, whatever it is, I still think this applies to you. For me, I'm a Christian, I believe in God, and I so I'm going to use this as the analogy. How many people do you know that say they believe in God, say their Christians,

they believe God's word, but then they literally struggle a self-doubt. They feel unqualified. They all the things, right? They talk themselves out of their own truth and their own destiny. I think that in life, you can do all this work that's important. You can work on overcoming limiting beliefs. You can go to therapy if you're blessed enough to be able to do that.

You can do all of this work on figuring out how to believe your enough. For me, the quickest hack has been if you truly believe God's Word, if you truly believe it, right? For example, God who says, you know, you're fearfully and wonderfully made, you know, you're made in my image. You can do all things, you know, through Christ who strengthens you. If you believe those words, but then you doubt yourself and you doubt your enough, okay, who are you doubting?

It is impossible to believe God's word and then believe you're not enough at the same time. Right? You, you, what is that old saying in Western movies, like you can't ride two horses with one ass or something like that? It's some saying, I can't remember. But it's like, you can't. Even if you didn't say it, we're using that one.

You can't have one without the other. You cannot say you believe God's word, but then say, oh, I don't feel like I'm enough to walk into this room, Or I don't belong here. Or I don't have what it takes, or I'm unqualified. So for me, the quickest hack is this. Anytime, and by the way, this happens to this day. Anytime about to walk into a room,

and I start to think, oh, I don't know if I belong here. I don't know if I have what it takes. I don't know if I'm worthy of being in this room. I instantly tell myself, who am I going to believe? My thoughts in my head or God's word, which one? I've got to make a decision right now. Who am I going to put my stock in, my worth in? Who am I going to believe, right?

And for me, it's the quickest hack because I'm like, you know what? I'm going to go out on faith, right? Because self-doubt and self-belief or faith take the same amount of energy to believe in something that hasn't happened yet. So which one are you going to believe? Really? So, in that moment, I'm like, okay, you know what? I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Like, I made in his image, I have everything it takes inside of me right now. I belong in this room, right? Because when I remember who's walking in that room with me, and I know I'm never alone, right? It's like, oh yeah, I belong in every room. And this can come down to anything. It can be the thing right now in your life. You're procrastinating on that you are doubting yourself over the first, maybe you're, maybe right now you're listening to me and add and you're going to write the first word of your book because you're going to make the decision to stop hiding in plain sight, right? Whatever it might be, when you tell yourself, who am I gonna believe? Because so many people say, say, they're a Christian,

are they believe, but then they doubt themselves out of their own destiny. So who are you believing? Because you're not believing God, right? You're believing your own thoughts. And so for me, it's the quickest hack is asking yourself in any moment, who am I doubting? Who am I really doubting?

And then making the choice of who you're gonna believe, your own thoughts or what God says about you. And for me, I hear him in my soul, right? Am I knowing? I'm not gonna trust my thoughts, which will always tell me I'm not enough, I don't have what it takes, I'm all the things, right? But in my soul, in God's word, it's like,

oh yeah, you're more than enough. I'm more than enough. Every one of us is more than enough. We're fully capable, fully qualified to walk into any room. We have what it takes. You know what I mean? And by the way, I believe when you listen to that

and you walk into that room, even if it becomes a disaster, even if you fail and fall flat on your face, even if things don't go your way, I don't believe it means that that knowing is wrong. I think it means that you either learn your next lesson, you need to learn, right? Your next lesson.

So it's either your next right step or it's your next right lesson. And I believe when we trust that, it's how I've gone from Denny's waitress to building a billion dollar company to enduring hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of rejections along the way. And people not just saying you're not enough or you're not the right fit, but like not

come back later. No, it was like no, no, don't come back ever. A lot of the stores, right? But it's like believing this and believing it, making the decision not just to believe it's possible, but to believe I'm worthy of it. And using a lot of the tools I've never shared before, they're in this book worthy for the first time ever. It is how I kept going. It's how I learned to believe I was worthy of some of the things that finally actually

happened and then learning to enjoy them on the way. And when I taught the course, Oprah did call me. The first time I called her by the way, it went to voicemail. I was like, oh, I waited four years and went to voicemail. But we did talk on the phone and she has called me and I had the blessing and gift and honor of teaching the life you want class alongside of her. Recently on resilience and I just, I think about the awe

of what that is, but that it almost didn't happen. Right, and think about the things in your life right now that if you do not change your relationship with worthiness, may never happen. You're right. Right? And that is what this book is about. It's so good.

And by the way, your whole life changes when you believe you're worthy. And you know, what you just said about, I'll say two things on this and then we're gonna, we'll put a bow on it. It was literally exactly what I knew we were gonna do today. But my mother-in-law changed that for me. She says, she says, Eddie, either you believe God's present in your life all the time or

only some of the time, which one is it? And I said, well, it's all the time. And she goes, so when you give that speech that you don't believe you're worthy of, he's with you. When you walk into that meeting, he's with you. Anywhere you go, he's with you. And that's given me the comfort and the strength in my life to feel worthy. So you're 100% right.

And in those times where I have failed, and I did make a mess of it, even though He was with me, I now know from you that what He was doing in those days was collaborating with me to hide my value from them that day. And He was protecting me. And that was God's protection. Those rejections were God's protection. So many things. You're not crazy.

You're just first. Rejection is God's protection, those rejections were God's protection. So many things, you're not crazy, you're just first, rejection is God's protection. The part about him hiding our value from them until the right time or the right person is the greatest protection of our lives, and that belief system is true, and this notion of all the different hacks, but especially the idea that if you believe in God, whatever that version is for you, is God with you all of the time, we're only some of the time. And you know that he's with you all of the time, or she is with you, depending on your belief system. So I am glad you were with me today to share this time

because I know it's reverberating around the planet right now. So thank you so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And you guys, if you want a little bit more time with her and I go to worthybook.com, forward slash ed, grab a copy and that's all you gotta do you. Thank you. Thank you. And you guys, if you want a little bit more time with her and I, go to worthybook.com forward slash ad, grab a copy, and that's all you got to do. That's it. That's the whole commitment. You want to get a bunch of them, get a bunch of them. But if you go there and do it, you're going to be spending

some time with just Jamie and I, where we can dive even deeper than we did here today. So I hope that you enjoy it. You always downplay anything you're part of, by the way. This is a big deal. Let me just say this for a minute, because I can talk about you way easier than me. This is aplay anything you're part of, by the way. This is a big deal. Let me just say this for a minute, because I can talk about you way easier than me. This is a huge deal you're doing this. You're going on a live Zoom. This isn't a huge event with hundreds of thousands of you. This is a live Zoom just for anyone on your show

right now who pre-ordered it. Or anyone you share it with. Or anyone you share it with. That's the thing, Ed. If you, like for everyone listening, if you know someone, whether it is the girls and women in your life, but also the men, anybody who out their core,

if they truly believe they were worthy, they'd be unstoppable. Like share this with them, because this is really special, and we're doing it when you pre-order it. It's such a gift to me as an author, but I'm donating all the proceeds. It's more just about,

I wanna get this in as many hands as possible. Yeah, I believe this is a movement, I believe it's no person left behind. If we had a world where people actually believe they're worthy, oh my gosh, I think about. We sure treat each other differently. Yes, we would. We would sure treat each other.

Yes, but thank you. I don't wanna say thank you for doing this. I love you. You being on a live Zoom with everyone and me is a big deal. And it's gonna be so powerful. And I'm excited for everyone who's gonna join you and me who pre-orders now. It's going to go away. So do it now and do it now. And thank you for and thank you for joining us here today, especially you guys, because I'm grateful that you're here every single week and I know that every week we do something to inspire

or change your life. And there's so many things that were said here today that I think some of you will never forget that you need to carry with you throughout your life. Okay everybody, God bless you. I will see you soon, max out your life. This is The End My Let's Show.