THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Transform Your Life: How One More Can Change Everything

Episode Date: August 17, 2024

Elevate Your Game with "The Power of One More" with this throwback MASHUP! The Power of One more is that 1 extra step, that 1 extra call, that single moment of pushing beyond your limits that completely alters the trajectory of your life for the better... and it's MUCH CLOSER than you think! I’m breaking down how embracing my concept of "The Power of One More" can shift your mindset, elevate your actions, and ultimately change your entire life. But I’m not doing it alone— I've got some phenomenal guests joining me, each embodying this philosophy in their remarkable journeys. Travis Chappell interviews me about the power of networking and how one more connection can completely transform your career. Plus I'm sharing actionable strategies on how to build meaningful relationships that propel you forward, no matter where you are in your journey. Jamie Kern Lima shares how the power of persistence and embracing her true self allowed her to build IT Cosmetics into a billion-dollar brand. Her story is a masterclass in resilience, showing how one more step, one more pitch, and one more belief in yourself can lead to monumental success. Maria Menounos opens up about her journey of overcoming life’s toughest challenges. Maria reveals how maintaining focus, practicing gratitude, and staying relentless in the pursuit of her goals has allowed her to thrive in both her career and personal life. Her insights will inspire you to push past your own limitations and live a life full of purpose and fulfillment. In this episode, you’ll discover how to push past your current boundaries, overcome your biggest fears, and turn every setback into a setup for an even greater comeback. This isn’t just about motivation; it’s about practical strategies you can start applying right now to get more out of every single day and build a life that exceeds even your wildest dreams. This is your playbook for achieving greatness. Prepare to evolve your life by embracing "The Power of One More!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster. And that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Rushard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward slash ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about $5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with the app. Also, some of the top

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This is The Ed Mylet Show. Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Here's a clip of Ed Mylett appearing on the podcast, figuring it out with host Travis Chappell. First question I got for you, man. You do so much. I mean, you and you have so much. You're already, you know, hundreds of millions of dollars

that you've earned in revenue and added to your net worth over time. Your husband, your dad, you do a lot of things with your kids and you get to be really involved in your family life. Why write a book? Like you don't have to do it. You could be doing so many other things with your time. Why did you take time to do it and why now? Frankly, there are days I wonder, but the truth is it's my home, brother. I love helping people and I sort of made this contract with myself that ended up being something I prayed about a lot that if I could learn all the keys to winning, because I used to see people win and they couldn't explain to me what they did and it bothered me. Like why can't no one documents when they win, they just kind of get good at something.

So I always kind of committed to myself, if I could figure this stuff out, success and happiness to some extent, we all have areas to grow that I would teach it. And then when I started to teach it, I found out I love doing that more than I like golfing. I do. I like doing that more than I like. I'm looking at the Pacific Ocean right now outside my window. I'm not on that beach as much as you would think because I actually love doing this. And I think, you know, I'm not good at a lot of things, but one of the things that God gifted me with is the ability to teach these principles and hopefully to inspire people to do it. And so I feel like I had to. The other piece of it was my dad died last year. And there's a lot about my dad in the book. And when my dad died, it made me think, I'm going to die someday. And what do I want my kids and grandkids and great grandchildren to know about life that maybe I didn't tell them, or maybe I won't be here to tell them, I'm going to put this in a book so that they know how to be successful

and happy based on my point of view and my strategies. And so that's the big overriding reason why I did it. It's remarkable, isn't it? How many, how many people are really, really good at something, but when you ask them questions about how many people are really, really good at something. But when you ask them questions about how they got good at it, or when you try to reverse engineer how they ended up where they are, they can't quite articulate it. It's one of the things on my show when I'll have some of the top athletes on or people entertainers sometimes. And I'll be like, they just do things unconsciously, very competently. It's unconscious. I want to be consciously competent too, so that I can transfer the skill, so that I can teach people, so that I can, I don't want to be the king. I want to be the king maker, the queen maker. And so I want to be able to consciously tell you. And like the other thing in the book is like,

my favorite books right here, other than the Bible, the Bible is my favorite book. The second favorite book is Think and Grow Rich. There's this original version. I love the book and but the truth is you don't just think and get rich. They have to think and act and so there's a lot of books on thinking. There's a lot of books on like actions you should take but no one's ever taken the thought you need to have and the action you need to take and do tell you how to do it simultaneously with congruency. That's what produces the result. So like you, you and I know people who act really well, but can't tell you the thoughts they have. That's what we're talking about. I know a bunch of other people have a bunch of thoughts, but can't do the actions and execute. So in the book, I marry the thought and the action. I don't think that's ever been taught before. And so that's what's sort of

unique about my strategies is there's a thought process and an action you do together that produces the result. Yeah, there's probably not many more people that are uniquely qualified to put this kind of a book together as well. And that's why I asked the question because I love seeing people like you who do not need to like make money from a book or you don't need to use this to sell a coaching program. You're already got everything you need. And so I think a lot of times when people get into that position, they're almost doing the world a disservice by not sharing something because there's so many other people, especially

now and there's so much noise, maybe you can talk into this, from people who've never done anything except for try to teach people how to do stuff. You know what I mean? It's, it's a remarkable time to be alive. It is a remarkable time. And I have to tell you that always tread lightly on that because I think everyone can help people, right?

Everyone's got something to contribute and give, but man, are we in a world full of people now that are experts on things they are not experts at. Right. And it is very rare that someone who is great at something is willing to teach you and share with you, especially for free or in a large scale. And so it is, it does surprise me even on social or podcasts or coaching programs. I'm like, what made you think that person could tell you how to get wealthy or build a company? They never built one?

It's almost like going to the gym. If I'm going to get a trainer at the gym, by and large, I want that person to be fit. They're going to look better than me. That's for sure. Well, I think you look pretty good, brother. But you know what I mean? There's four types of people. There's completely unmotivated.

That's the majority of people. I talk about this in the book. Then there's motivated people. They're wonderful. We all love motivated people, but they're driven by motives. I'm going to do this to get this car. I'll do this in the book. Then there's motivated people. They're wonderful. We all love motivated people, but they're driven by motives. I'm gonna do this to get this car. I'll do this to get this relationship.

I'll do this to get this money. They're moved by their motives, which is a whole lot better than not being moved. The third level, which is very, very, very rare, is inspirational people. The root of inspiration is to be in spirit. They move you emotionally. You feel something

when they communicate with you, when they interact with you. There's just a feeling, go, I really like them. All right, they move me. I'm inspired by them. The fourth is the most rare. That's aspirational people. These are people you actually aspire to be like them, to do what they've done. And so what you're really saying is there's a lot of motivators out there right there's a few that are inspiring there's very few that are aspiring that are aspirational meaning if I do what they did I'll get what they have yeah and I kind of I'd like to think that I'm in the former the latter category of aspirational most of the time. Although I must tell you, I don't have all the answers and the older I get, I just got asked this the other day by a dear

phrase like, man, the older you get, you know, don't you realize how, I said, man, what I realize is how little I still know. The older I get, I realize I don't know that much but what I do know, I put in the book and that's why I did it. Can you talk into how to almost maybe ride the line between confidence and arrogance or delusion? And I, cause I think I'm the point that I'm getting at here is that I think this is what causes a lot of people that maybe shouldn't be yet selling their advice to start doing that is that they get taught all these things about you should think

positively about yourself and you should hold yourself in high regard and you should have all these thoughts about yourself. And then they almost buy into a version of themselves that does not yet exist. And then that's the version that they sell to other people, not having earned the right to be able to do it yet. I don't know if any of that makes sense, but obviously confidence is crucial to being able to achieve anything. I know you talk a lot about confidence and a lot of things that I've learned about confidence and building it have come directly from you.

So I'm curious to hear, how do you build confidence, but not like overstep into this like world that doesn't even exist because you're almost delusional about how awesome you are. Yeah. If I had to have you err, I'd rather you err on being more confident than not confident, right? However, my favorite people tow this line, there's a nuance and it's very, very difficult to do and you have to be on guard about it all the time in your life. And that is I love people that nuance tremendous self-confidence with humility.

So I know a bunch of people with a lot of confidence that don't have the humility. They end up burning out. They end up making mistakes. Their ego takes over. They spend the money they make. They think they've made it. They slow down their effort. And they're just uncomfortable to be around, right? Then I know a bunch of people with a bunch of humility that have no confidence and you're constantly having to carry them in your life. They're a pain in the neck, they drain you. So the people I try to be around and what I try to be like is to have that self-confidence with humility because humility keeps you curious, keeps you humble, wants you to learn, wants you to expand, wants you to explore. You've never really made it yet. It even makes me uncomfortable to some extent

if I'm being candid, as you and I have been talking, as if I have all the answers or I have my act completely together because I know even yesterday, I had kind of a down day yesterday, right? So I'm a human going through life but having said that, to your point, most of the best influence in life, most of the lessons that you get are caught, not taught. And so if you're just teaching things all the time and you don't embody it, your level of influence and the change you can make is very small. But if people can watch you and hear you,

then they're catching things from you. It's caught, like with my kids, I could tell them, be a good person, read your scripture, you know, but they catch most of it by watching me. Do I do that? Right? It's caught, not taught. So that's why you have to do things

in order to be great at teaching them because otherwise you're just teaching and people aren't catching. You know, you brought up parenting and a lot of things have changed since the last time you and I spoke on a podcast. I mean, 2017, not 2018. I know right where I was sitting, where you interviewed me, because I remember

telling you, bro, you're really good at this. Do you remember that? I do remember that. Yes. You are. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. It's been a crazy, crazy journey and a lot's happened since then.

And frankly, you should not have said yes to an interview with me at the time, but I was very grateful that you did. And now you fast forward. And, you know, we have a seven figure software startup that we raised capital for, and we have millions downloads on the show and talk to Shaq and Rob Dyrdek and all these other people on the show and things like that. But the one biggest change has been that I now have two kids and my son is going to be three years old next month. And my daughter is about 18 months. So anytime I'm able to sit down with somebody and ask selfish questions about parenting. So I love

to take advantage of that. So if we can just kind of put a pin in the conversation about the book and things like that, I'm really curious about like kind of some of the things that you've taken away as a parent. You already just kind of alluded to one, but I would like to start that with a story that I heard you tell on somebody else's show that was about your daughter was at school or something when she was younger and somebody said, like, oh, you're rich or your parents are rich or something. And she came and asked you the question. So I want you to tell that story and then tell us the answer that you gave to her and

why that's something that's important to you. So and again, I'm not done promoting the book, but I must tell you, I have a lot of parenting stuff in the book. Oh, great. Help you be a better mother, a better father. So there's sports analogies and all this other stuff too, but there's a lot of parenting in there. So my daughter comes home from school, she gets in the car, I'm picking her up for school.

And I'm always worried, like when you do raise your kids, like, I can tell when I meet somebody who was raised with money most of the time, especially men, not all the time, but most of the time, like people always ask me, how do you know? And there's just a softness. There's a lack of an edge there because they didn't have to scrape and claw and battle for things.

And I used to worry that my son or my daughter would possess that and that they lose that thing in life you've got to have, which is this, this mental toughness, fortitude, resiliency, relentlessness to win. So my daughter comes back from, it gets out of class and she gets in the car and she looks up at me and precious Bella and she goes, daddy, are we rich? I said, what? She goes, everyone in school told me we're rich. And I said, well, I don't know how much money you got. She goes, I got like $20.

I think she said, I got $14. And I go, well, I know for sure you're not rich. That's not rich. I said, I don't know whether daddy is or not, but I definitely know you're not rich, honey. Yeah, right. I made that point because I wanted to earn things. And you flash forward, I have a story in the book

where I actually talk about my daughter wanted a car. I could buy her any car she wants. She had to buy her own car. So she had to go get a job. She goes to get a job and one of the principles in the book is one more try. My kids have been raised watching me make one more try, one more rep, one more phone call, one more text, tell her I love her one more time. It's all stuff in the book. So she goes to get this job. I write about it in the book. She goes down to, uh, it's a pizzeria and it's a well-known one and they're about to hire and they go, you are 18, right? And she says, no, no, no, I'm 17. And she loses the job. So she calls me daddy, can you come pick me up?

They won't hire me because of alcohol there. And I said, okay. And then about 10 minutes later, she was, hang on, don't pick me up yet. What she did is she remembered one more try. She walked across the street to a bakery and went in and said, hi I'm looking for a job and she ended up getting hired across the street at the bakery. It was one of the most proud moments of my life because she embodied one more try. Long story short, she ended up buying her own, it's a beat up used six-year-old Jeep, her own car with that money. And all of that, Travis goes all the way back to that question she asked me in my car back in fourth grade. Are we rich? No, you're not rich. And then

going from there, those are the types of things I try to do with my kids. Yeah. And how crucial to pre draw on that principle that you mentioned just a second ago as well, that you didn't just tell your kids that you should always take one more try, or you should always try one more rep, or push one more time, or ask once more. You didn't just tell them that. They experienced that. They saw you from the position of when they were first born, which is nowhere near as much wealth as you've built now. And then saw this principle flush itself out over time and saw what that did to the results that you were able to achieve. And I think that's one thing that I really try to do as a parent. Obviously I'm very brand new at

being a parent, but that's the one thing I really, really think is paramount, especially when it comes to my relationship with my kids is that I just never want to be the do as I say, not like think is paramount, especially when it comes to my relationship with my kids is that I just never want to be the do as I say, not as I do, you know, guy. That's detrimental. I knew when I met you, I know guys that are going to be great dads. You are because there's a gentleness and a kindness to you, particularly with your daughter that will be beautiful. But one of the things everyone should be cognizant of and by the way I make a lot of mistakes as a dad I could give you a list of times I'm like why did I do that but having said

that's part of being a parent but I didn't want to rob my kids from the things my parents gave my parents gave me a bunch of stuff they shouldn't have but one of the things they did give me was I had to scrape and claw and fight and work hard and battle and overcome pain and so when my kids would have issues at school with grades or teachers I didn't intervene. I made them work it out. I made them go, I let them have some rejection. I'm just a big believer in giving them the life experience because when you get back out into the world, the world's tough. There's lots of forms of child abuse, different levels and you know that my dad was an alcoholic and I worked in an orphanage where my kids were truly abused,

molested by family. So there are degrees of this and no one's more familiar with that than I am. But all the way down to not loving or hugging your children is a form of, it's a form of abuse. And there's another one that most parents are unaware of. And that is parents who don't chase their own dreams. You are robbing your children

from seeing what that looks like. You're robbing your children from seeing you aspire and stretch and grow. It's the most insidious form of child neglect is a parent who does not chase their own dreams, who plays life small, who installs software programming in their children of small thinking and small life and small expansion and small expansion,

small risk, small growth. That's a form of neglect of your children if you're not doing that. And so hopefully maybe for the first time as a parent, you now feel obligated, which is okay, to chase your dream, to grow, to expand. Because if you don't, you're neglecting your children, because they're watching that software and they're catching it and their self-esteem is affected by your lack of happiness and your lack of success more than any other thing in their life. You can't let your will to win be for sale in that regard as a parent because then your kid is going to look at that example that you set. It doesn't matter what you say anymore at that point to me.

That's the part that gets me is like, you know, a lot of parents are kind of are doing their best in terms of trying to instill the beliefs and saying like, you can do it, you can do anything. And you know, you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to. And it's like, I, as soon as I had my son, it just made me realize, like, I never wanted to get to the point where I was telling my son that, and he would look me dead in the eye and go, well, why didn't you? You got it. You know, it was like, ooh.

And he gets to an age, Travis, we all did, where we figure out who our parents actually are, right? When we're little, they're our hero, they're our world. But there becomes an age where you go, that's my dad, that's my mom. And you figure out who they are in the world. I never wanted my kids to figure out their dad was average, their dad was a fraud, their dad was a talker, their dad was just another

dude because if you think your dad's another dude or your mom's just another person, you come from that and so of course it affects your self-esteem, of course it affects your belief. It's why so many people generationally struggle because they, I've talked about this often, you know, the whole point of the book, the second chapter in the book is about the matrix, about Neo, if you've seen the movie, The Matrix. And I talk about your reticular activating system

and slowing down time and how you can program your mind. I actually get very detailed of how the RAS works in your Neo cortex. Having said all that, why do I pick Neo in the matrix? Because if you watch the matrix, they believe Neo is the one. And you've heard me say this before, but in every family, there's a Neo and every family, eventually the one shows up. The one who changes that family.

You see a happy, rich, successful family at some point all the way back. They weren't at one point. And then the one shows up and they change the way that family thinks, acts, lives, grows, expands, contributes forever. In my family, I'm the one. In your family, you're the one. And the people that are listening to this, you got to become the one in your family that changes it forever.

And that's what I write about in the book is how to become the one in your family that changes it forever. And that's what I write about in the book is how to become the one. And I actually discuss what that the one looks like with the example of Neo. Explain to me your belief about balance. You got so many things going on. You got the family, especially when you were in like knee deep in the weeds of building the business and the kids were young and there's so much stuff going on. What do you believe about balance? Fallacy. Actually, it's one of the things I don't like

that I did in this book is I reread it the other day and it's like, I almost think you would think, I think you can have balance if you read my book. And I don't like that because I don't think you can always be in balance. I think it's something to strive for, but not realistic. Remember this. Extremity expands capacity. This is something most people don't understand. The more you do something to the extreme,

it expands your capacity to do it again or bigger ironically. So for me, the idea that this notion that, well, if I'm crushing it at work, I'm going to be not as good of a dad, or if I'm really a great dad, I'm not going to be fit. The truth is that for me, when I'm crushing it at work, I come home, I'm a better dad. I'm more engaged. I'm more energized. I think this notion that we get tired because of hard work is actually not true. I actually think we're like batteries and we need to be charged all the time. Most people are tired from lack of ambition, lack of work, lack of engagement, lack of chasing something more than they are by chasing something. When I'm super fit and jacked at the gym, I'm a better business person. I'm a business athlete instead of an average everyday business person. So this notion that if I give a lot to one thing,

another one gets less, that's just a flawed premise. It's a flawed belief system. There's no proof that that's true. And I can tell you that it's not true. The more fit I am, I've been better in business. The better I've done in business, the better father I've been. The better father I've been, I'm actually more focused in business.

The key is be where your feet are. If I'm at work, I gotta be at work. And when I leave there and I go into my home, I need to be in my home. When I'm at the gym, I don't reply to texts and emails, right? I'm in that world. I'm going to dispense some justice for an hour, right? I'm going to get after it. Then when I leave there, I'll be where my feet are planted them. So this notion of balance is not true. And this notion that because you do a lot of one thing, the other thing suffers is also not true. But because you believe it, it does. Stop believing that.

So how do you structure a typical day? I wish I were better at that now just because my days are so crazy. So I don't structure the day, but I do structure the first 30 in the last 30 minutes. That's my sense of structure. So what's that look like? First for me, when I wake up, I immediately say a prayer. And if I'm being, you know, super specific, I pray on my knees. So I actually get out of my bed and I get on my knees and I say a prayer. And that could take anywhere from 30

seconds to 15 minutes, depending on what I got going on. And then I grab this jug of water that you're looking at, which is a gallon and I drink a half a gallon of water. I really do. I super hydrate right when I get up which is hard because you're not breathing good. You know that I do that and then typically I will get up and stretch and do some meditation for 10 to 15 minutes. Just empty my mind and get clear and then from there I actually go and I get a cup of coffee. I intermittent fast but coffee is permitted in the middle of my fast. I do that then I go take my meds because I have some medication to take and then I go work out and

then when I'm done working out, I grab some food and check my phone and that's the first time I've checked my phone is probably about an hour, hour 15 minutes into my day. Hardest discipline in the world is not to be looking at those messages and text messages. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. Now it's not anymore because I do it every single day. And about three days a week, I do a cold plunge. I don't do it every day anymore. Just simply because if the routine is too complicated

and not able to be replicated and duplicated, you won't continue doing it. So I just can't have 11 things I'm doing. I used to have- Can't have a three hour routine. Yeah, I get 26 checklists and you know, I can't do all that stuff. So I do a cold plunge about three days a week

and I don't even know when those three days are gonna be, but by the end of the week, I've usually done three days of a cold plunge and it's not even the discipline of it. For me, it's actually, it just turns on my nervous system and wakes me up completely. And those are days I'm usually a little bit more tired. Last 30 minutes of my day is mainly review of the day, clear out comes for the next day. I do something

hot. I actually sit in an infrared, um, photo modulation bed before I go to sleep at night that I bought. Those are very expensive. You don't need to do that, but I actually, if you're asking me what I do, I do that. I stretch again, I pull out my clothes for the next day so that they're done. I say another prayer and I'm off to sleepy land. I love that, man. I appreciate you being candid and telling us exactly what it looks like there because it's so funny because I remember Naveen Jain one time he was speaking somewhere. Yeah, I love Naveen. And he goes, he said something about morning routines and how a lot of times, for most people it's BS.

He was like, you can take a cold plunge every day and you're not going to be Tony Robbins. It's more about what you believe rather than what you do. And I thought that was really unique insight. And I appreciate you being willing to be like, Hey, don't you, like, you can't just keep putting more and more and more and more and more things into this. The reason I only do anything is this. It's the illusion of control that I start my day, dictating the terms of my day, not having them dictated to me.

And I think if I can get some control over the first 30 minutes in the last 30, there's a chance I'll have some control in the middle of it. There's two types of people. There's people who dictate the terms and those people who react and respond. Yeah. I want to be, this sounds weird because it comes across as the wrong connotation, but I want to be a dictator, not a reactor, not a dictator in the terms of leading the country dictator, but a dictator of I dictate the terms. That doesn't happen every day. In fact, it didn't happen today. Today's a pretty good example. I did my morning routine. My first meeting, the person who I was meeting with had the time change wrong. And so my day was set the wrong direction. The very second

I got out of my routine, but I'm kind of back on track now because I'm going to dictate the day's not going to tell me. So I want to ask you this question because I think I'm a big believer in self-awareness and leaning into things that you're really good at, and then pressing harder on those things rather than trying to perfect something that maybe you don't have any sort of natural ability to do. So one of your superpowers that I've observed over the years is you have this just innate ability. And that's why I said you're a prodigious people builder at the beginning of this, because

you have this innate ability to make people feel like important or significant, or at least make them feel good about themselves. Is that something that you consciously worked on? Was that something that was always something that was inside of you that maybe you that you did a little bit better? How did that kind of come into fruition in your day-to-day life?

Like I told you the first time, you're really good at this. You've hit on maybe one of the three or four things I'm only good at. And that's it. Everything in your life happens for you and not to you. I started saying that I think I was first and then everyone says it now. Cause I said it about 15 years ago, but I'll prove it to you. Napoleon Hill says in the book that anything when you go through any temporary pain in your life and all pain is temporary, that if you can go through

pain on the other side of that, if you can get through it, is you get introduced to your other self. You get introduced to a talent or a gift or another version of you, but you didn't otherwise know you had. For me, that usually in my childhood meant my dad's drinking. Who ended up, by the way, becoming sober. He's the reason that the power of one more exists because he stayed sober one more day at a time

and tried to get sober one more time and helped one more person. But when I was a little boy, Travis, my dad, I had three little sisters. When my dad would come home, I had to be able to read my dad. I had to be able to read him, be present with him. I'm talking like five years old, which dad was coming through the front door? If it was drunk dad, I need to get my sisters and probably have them go upstairs and have mom go take a shower. And I'd have to read this man when he would come through, I'd look up at my daddy, was his tie on I need to get my sisters and probably have them go upstairs and have mom go take a shower. And I'd have to read this man when he would come through. I'd look up at my daddy.

Was his tie on the right way? Was his hair disheveled? How did he walk? What was his pace like? What could I smell on him? And I would read my dad. That would be drunk dad. Or is it sober daddy comes through.

He looks great. He doesn't have any, it's not staggering or struggling or anything like that. They're little subtle things in his eyes I could see. We'd go in the backyard and play baseball, it'd be a great day. But I started to learn this skill of reading people and being present with them. That was the first thing,

my dad's drinking gave me that gift. The second thing was, if it was the wrong dad, I had to make him feel good. Hey daddy, how was work today? Thank you so much, I'm so proud of you. And I would learn to make my dad feel good so that if it was the drunk dad, I would still get a decent version of him

for my sisters and my mom. And so this adversity is what gave me my two biggest skills. My ability to read people and communicate with people came from the worst thing in my life ever, which was my dad's drinking when I was a young man. And so for those of you listening to this on the other side of this temporary, horrible thing you may go through or have been through, is this other self and eventually that gift or talent of that other self

will be the thing you use to win, win happiness, win money, win influence, win contribution, win emotions will be this other thing. So that was maybe the one of the most important questions anyone's ever asked me is what you. Yeah. So I mean, I appreciate again, the candid response. Yeah. How, how do you, how do you process that? If so, like somebody listening right now, they're, they're in the middle of the trauma, they're, they're in, they're in the thick of it bank and it's difficult. Yeah.

It's, it's, it's difficult to see, you know, well, in the future, this is going to benefit me in a lot of times you didn't even want to admit it because it feels so bad. And it feels like this shouldn't be happening to me. Life isn't fair. I didn't ask for this. Like I don't even want to see good in it because I want to be upset about it and I wanna feel justified in my bitterness

toward this event. How do you get out of that? How do you start changing the way that you're perceiving that? The way, such great questions, bro. So again, I have a chapter in the book called One More Meaning and One More Emotion. They're two different chapters. And here's the situation. It's not our life that, it's not the events of our life that dictate where we're going to go or how happy we are.

It's the meaning we attach to the event. It's the meaning. So you and I could be in a car accident brother and watch a child die in front of us. Our meaning we're going to attach if we went up on that accident scene would be this is tragic and one of the worst moments of our life and obviously for the people that are there. Mother Teresa is at the same event, bro, same exact event. The meaning she would take, believe it or not, would be, this is the honor of my life that God let me be with this person as they went to heaven. Same event, completely different meaning, different emotion. So what you have to ask yourself when you're going through it is what does this

mean to me? What would I need to believe about this event that serves me? Start with a different question, different question, different answer, different emotion. So it's not just, but you could actually say to yourself, this sucks. Okay, fine.

What would I need to believe about this so that it would actually serve me? My dad dying of cancer, that's a hard one to come up with a good thing for it. And I would ask myself, what would I need to believe about this so that it's a good thing? You know, there was good in it.

And I did, I found that because of my dad's illness, I valued my dad more, I valued humans more, I valued my own health more. Before when my dad would call Travis, if I was in a meeting, I'd put him to voicemail. You know what started to happen after that? I'd say, hang on a minute. It's my dad. Yeah. And that let them and me know this man right here is more important than whatever we're talking about right now. So those events changed me. And I needed to believe that so that I could get a positive result from it. I didn't really believe

it in the beginning. I had to say, what would I need to believe? And then once I adopted that question, my RAS and my brain start to go find the people, places, things, and references to prove me right. And all of a sudden, I'm like, this is God at work here. My dad was going to die anyway, not at 73 years old. It should have been 93. But my dad, that event was eventually going to happen. At some point we all die. But the question was, what would I need to believe about this? What I needed to believe was that this was conspiring for me because I was going down a path where I didn't appreciate

my family enough. I didn't appreciate small things enough. I was constantly doing bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger things, missing all of the small, beautiful things, thinking I would get to them once I had all the big things done. We think about that with our faith, don't we? Yeah, I got my faith. I got it. It's there. And I'm really gonna get into it once I don't need to worry about money anymore. I'm really gonna dive back in once the kids are a little bit older and you start

just you these big things that we think are small things we keep putting away and so what my dad's cancer did is it moved the important things way up on the priority list for me and because I'm a man who influences millions of people perhaps that was God's way of going I am going to alter you because you're reaching way too many other people not to understand these things. And I'm going to use this thing that was going to happen with your dad in 20 years now. And that's what I needed to believe about it. Talk a lot about meaning in that answer. I'm curious, what do you view as life's meaning? Why are we here and what should we be striving for? I believe life is about loving people, caring about people, believing in people.

And if you can show them how to do a little bit better. When I walked into the orphanage that I ended up starting my business career in, all those little boys, they were all molested by their parents or their parents were incarcerated or dead. These little precious eight year old boys. When I walked in, I wasn't a psychologist, I wasn't a dad, I wasn't qualified to be there, right? It's amazing. God doesn't call

qualified people. He qualifies called people. And all these little boys wanted from me, bro. They look at me with these eyes. Please love me. Please care about me. Here's a big one. Most people don't get please believe in me. Very few people believe in other people, right? And show me how to live better. And what I found out those little eight-year-old boys are no different than the most famous athlete, politician, entertainer, Travis or Ed everywhere. We want people to love us, care about us, believe in us, and in our way and what we bring to the table, show me how to live or do better. With your gift, you show me how to do better. With my gift, I show you how to do better. And no one's gift is more important than the other person's. And the more you just go, gosh, that is really why we're here.

Wouldn't if you're a Christian like I am, and I know you are, but even if you're not, wouldn't you assume that's what God would want us to be doing? Serving one another, serving his kingdom, loving one another, caring, truly believing in each other. Why do I people, why do you believe in human beings so much? Because I actually know their DNA. They were born to do something great with their life in their way, because the same God that made me in his image and likeness, his blood's running through them. So I'm no better or worse than them. I know who they are. They're my brother or sister. So you bet you're, I love them. I care about them. I believe in them. Even when they are doing things they shouldn't be doing, even when they're falling down, even when they're failing, even when they're sinning, because there's this thing called grace. My dad, Travis, lived 35 years as an alcoholic,

probably not a great husband, probably not a great dad, and in one decision completely changed his life and became my hero and lived a better life than any man I have ever known on earth personally the next 35 years. So I'm in the business of helping people change their lives because I watched my hero do it. With 35 years the wrong way. And then went 35 years nearly perfect. So I know people

can change with, with your dad, with your dad being gone now, is there anybody that, that you're looking up to anybody that you're kind of following and looking to for advice or wisdom? It's a tough one. Cause my dad gets me emotional. My dad was definitely that person for me. Anything good that happened, I'd call my dad. I do have a surround myself, man. I want to name all of them by name, but I do, I have a group of people I surround myself that, you know, in the book,

you know, I've talked about this a lot. You have a thermostat setting of your life. It's your identity. So if you have a money identity set at 75 degrees and you start making a hundred degrees worth of money, you'll find a way to turn the air conditioner back down to get what you believe you deserve. So in different areas of my life that I want to grow in, I surround myself with people that live at higher temperatures than me. So in my faith life, if there's three, four, five guys, Erwin McManus has become a good friend of mine, Joel Osteen's come into my life a little bit.

Steven Furtick's come into my life a little bit. Guys you would not know by name that are just wonderful guys of faith. I wanna be around them, right? Cause they can heat me up a little bit. My financial life, you know who some of my neighbors are. So, you know, there's some really wealthy billionaire guys that are neighbors of mine.

They, they heat me up that way. But, but to be honest with you, man, and I don't mean to be overly preachy about faith today, cause I don't, I don't, it sounds a little bit crass when I say it, cause I'm not even qualified to talk about this stuff, but I really, man, when I lost my father on earth, I got a lot closer to my heavenly father. And so I was already pretty close, but I lost my Father on Earth. I don't have another one of those. But I can, this other one in Heaven's with me every single day. And so I do bring him into my podcasts. I bring him into meetings like this. I pray about

it before I go on a sales call. I feel his presence. It gives me peace, gives me comfort. I'm hoping he'll give me the words and the wisdom and the direction. And so that's really who I rely on the most. So you brought up the podcast. I would be remiss. I'm a big, obviously podcasting fan. I love helping people with podcasts. We did a lot of coaching and consulting

around helping entrepreneurs podcast because I just love the medium and I think it's awesome. And it's done wonders for my network, which has also affected my net worth coincidentally, right? What do you get out of the podcast? Why do the podcast? Feel like I get, well, for me, selfishly, I now use my podcast almost as a weapon

to meet the people that I wanna know, that I don't know. Yes, thank you. Yeah, I do that, and I also, I do a lot of that. And I also highlight friends that I think are special. So for me, it's this vessel to express myself this week, for example, I did one that's just me. So sometimes I'll do that. For me, it's a form of expression. It's a form of being able to reach people I find on my podcast, man, it's one of the

few things I do regularly, that I always look forward to doing. That's not like, oh, I got this on my calendar. And to me, that's an indicator that it's a calling, right? Like I get to do this today. And I love sharing with people. People laugh at me all the time. They're like, man, you are really enthusiastic when you have a guest on. I really do love people. I really am interested in them.

I really do believe in them. And I wouldn't put you on my show if I didn't think you could help people do better. So it's probably like the ultimate form of doing what I think we should do as humans with my limited skillset is my show. And I feel so blessed, man, that people listen to it. I mean, I gotta tell you, it's such, isn't it weird? Like sometimes I'm like, I can't believe that many people

just listen to this thing, you know, like it's amazing how many it can reach. And I just did a deal with Sirius and Stitcher kind of like what Rogan did, but I only do one show a week. He does a show a day, which is crazy to me. But, um, yeah, man, it's just, it's, uh, I feel so blessed to get to do my show. You got, you got, uh, zero lack of opportunity at this point. We were just talking before we even hit the record

button that you're doing like a hundred podcasts or something for the book, but then also there's probably hundreds or thousands of requests that you have to turn away. What makes you say no or yes to an opportunity and how do you say no? It's the thing I'm the worst at. It's the thing I'm the worst at is saying no, and I have to learn to get better at it. But why would I say yes to something? Because sometimes I'll even do things like I did with you the first time I did your show. Sometimes I just pray about it and God says this is one you need to do. Most of the time I'll do it if either A, I believe I can make a contribution to make a difference or B B I think the person I'm supporting doing it with should be elevated. This sounds odd, but like by my brand and

presence with them if I can lift them up. So that's the ones I say yes to, but almost always it's based on contribution. 20 years ago, if you wanted to get me to do something, you better be able to throw at me attention and wreck money. Now I have plenty of those things. So those are not drivers for me like they used to be. Everyone wants attention. Everyone wants more money. Everyone's rare, but it's not my primary driver. My primary driver now is growth and contribution. If I think I can help people grow or myself grow or I can contribute by being there, then that's where God

wants me sitting that day. I really believe that and it's where I feel home. It's where I feel like this is a vibrational frequency and energy where I'm like, yep, this is right. And that's sort of how I usually home. It's where I feel like this is, it was a vibrational frequency and energy where I'm like, yep, this is right. And that's sort of how I usually make the decision. But in all candor, you know, you can't learn everything from one person. And one thing you would not learn to do well for me is how to say no, because I hate hurting people's feelings. And I have an absolutely terrible time saying no to people and it surprises people because I'm super intense dude and I can be very candid but in terms of just saying no man am I terrible at that well I appreciate I appreciate saying yes to this one this

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Ask yourself this, am I healthy at that point? In your visions, of course you are, but like anything else without a plan to get and remain healthy, you can't hit the goal. That's why I'm so thrilled to be partnering with LifeForce. It's co-founded by my good friend Tony Robbins and Peter Diamanis. LifeForce is a leader in proactive care. The LifeForce membership includes everything you need to understand your wellness and help you make good decisions today to keep you on track in the future for your health.

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I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Don't forget to follow the show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. I'm fired up about today's show because we're getting right into what it takes to win. And that is this, write this down, one more, one more. See, I accepted a long time ago, I wasn't the smartest,

the best looking, the fast enough, with the best background, the most connections, I didn't have any of those things. What I could control was my work ethic. You've heard me speak many times about outworking everybody, but I think that just feels good when we hear it, but most people don't take it seriously. If you think that I have a little bit of success in my life, I can tell you what I attribute it to.

Yes, self-confidence. Yes, mindset, visualization, goals, all the things I talk about all the time. Listening skills, influence, energy transfer, how to be happier, all of that stuff applies. When you get to winning, for me, it's come down to maxing out. And what maxing out means is you do one more at least than you think you're capable of. So when you're done, whatever you're doing, whether it's at the gym or phone calls or meetings

or in sports, one more shot, one more throw, one more swing of the golf club or the baseball bat, the separator is for the winners, they do one more. I'm addicted to one more. And so I want your mantra going forward to be one more. What does that look like if we're working out? That means when we're in the gym and we say I'm gonna do five sets of 10, I'm crazy.

Like I'm a psycho, because I wanna win. I wanna be somebody. I wanna separate. I wanna compete. And the way I do that isn't with my giftedness. Because I wasn't born with a bunch of gifts. And I think gifts are crap. I think for the most part, gifted people struggle in life

because things come easy to them. I like that things haven't come easy for me in my life. I like that I don't have natural talents in every area. And maybe you like that about you too. Maybe you've looked at yourself all your life and thought, man, I don't have that natural beauty or that natural talent or this gift for creativity or intellect or humor. I don't have any of those things. But what I got is I will outwork you. And so at the gym, one of

the things I focus on, they say it's five sets of ten. When I'm at ten I go one more, bam, eleven. If I'm running on the treadmill and it's a 45 minute run, I never finish at 45. I always go one more minute, 46. If I'm at the office and I'm supposed to make 25 phone calls that day, when I'm at the end of the day, I always do one more. If I've got meetings, I always do one more. My mantra for three decades in business has been one more.

Why? Because we get out of life what we think we deserve. And I'm the kind of guy that I know when you do 45 minutes on the treadmill and I do 46, I deserve to be fitter. I know that when I'm lifting weights and I watch you do five sets of ten and every single time I do one more. When it's a set of five, I do six. When it's a set of eight, I do nine. When it's 45 on the treadmill, I do 46. When it's supposed to be 20 phone calls, I make 21. When it's supposed to be 20 phone calls, I make 21. When it's supposed to be an eight hour workday, I work nine.

Whatever it is, I always do one more. And what that does is it makes me eventually think, I'm doing things other people aren't willing to do, so I should get things other people aren't going to get. And if you go to the root of the things I believe philosophically about winning, the people that win, the great athletes that I coach, when I watch the really gifted golfer and the one who actually wins, the gifted golfer, they do what they're supposed to do.

You'd never know they weren't working hard. It's not like people don't work hard. Everybody works hard. That's a given now. But what's the separator to where you become the maxed out version of you? See, the gifted golfer, they hit their hundred balls because they're supposed to, but the not

so gifted one that ends up winning, they hit a hundred and one or a hundred and ten or a hundred and twenty. I watched them on the driving range and they can hear them say one more, one more. What's the difference between Kobe Bryant and other gifted NBA players when he played? Or Michael Jordan when they played? Or right now Kevin Durant, people tell me, or Steph Curry. They're constantly, when everyone else is done shooting in the gym, they say one more. Larry Bird was legendary for one more, one more. The people that would throw the passes to him, the ball guys in practice, he always

wants more, he always wants more. The great hitters that I know, the Mike Trouts and MLB, they're gifted, but they just take a little more, they take that extra batting practice, that extra session. They're always doing extra. That's the separator. Like you can learn all this stuff, you can digest all the tactics and information

that I give out, but if you're not willing to do one more, eventually there's a part of you that says, maybe, maybe I don't deserve it. I'm just doing what everybody else is doing and that's not good enough. It's not even good enough to do more than everybody else. It's your maxed out level. It's one more of everything. And so whether that's a phone call, an email, a text, an appointment, one more time you

tell your spouse you love them, one more time you go in and kiss your children good night, one more hug of somebody, one more phone call, one more everything. I want your theme to be one more. Have I said that enough times for you today? So what's that really look like an application? Well the second thing it does for you is you actually do more reps of whatever it is you're doing and when we do more repetitions we get better and when we do more repetitions we're more productive. So number one is the psychology part. If you're someone who's always doing things other people aren't willing to do, you always max out, you always go to the next level, you convince

yourself you deserve to win. You can take low self-esteem, low identity, low confidence and change it over time by building this habitual addiction to doing one more, this obsession of one more. All the greats do one more and all the average don't. It's not that the average don't work hard. It's not that the average at your company, they don't, it's not that they don't work hard. They probably work pretty hard. But do they always do extra? Do they always do one more? Do they always do ten more if they need to? Do they always get after it? The other part of it, number two, is you just get better because of the reps. You're just doing more of something, you get better.

You get stronger. You become a better phone caller when you make one more phone call every day. You become a better communicator when you do one more meeting every single day. You get better at coordination in your sport or at the gym by just doing more reps. Yes, you get better. So that's the second layer. But the third one is you stack the odds in your favor. See for me I want the odds that I'm going to win to increase. The larger numbers we play in life in every area, more is always better. People tell you more isn't

always better and almost everything more is better just so you know and almost everything. People who tell you more isn't always better, and almost everything more is better, just so you know. And almost everything. People who tell you more isn't better in most things are lazy, and they try to justify their own weakness. Don't let people who are justifying their own weakness convince you that you working hard, you doing more isn't the pathway to your success. People say, well, you got to work smarter, not harder. That's a lie, because everybody who wins works smarter. The separator is who not harder. That's a lie, because everybody who wins works smarter. The separator is who works harder.

And by the way, we become smarter through working harder. All the new revelations, all the breakthroughs, all the new discoveries always come when you're doing one more. Always come through more repetitions. You find new ways, new strategies, new words, new keys by higher repetitions. So even if you believe working smarter is more important,

you will become smarter by doing more. So if you work 300 days a year, let's just say, 300 days a year, that's 300 more phone calls every single year. Over five years, that's 1,500 more contacts. 1,500 more contacts. Just think about that just for a second. Over 30 years, that's 9,000 more contacts. Just think about that just for a second. Over 30 years that's 9000 more contacts. What are the odds the person who makes 9000 more contacts or even 300 more a year are

going to win? You give me two average people that walk in a room, same ability, same skills, same backgrounds, same product. One of them makes 300 more contacts a year than the other one. Who's going to win? We know. How about over five years? One of them makes 1,500 more contacts over five years.

Who's going to win? Over a lifetime, 30 years of work, one makes 9,000 more contacts. Who's going to win? You stack the odds in your favor. Never mind the person who'd made the 9,000 more contacts is better. They've got more reps. They've got more confidence. They believe they deserve to win.

They just have 9,000 more opportunities. How about a golfer? One of them makes 300 more swings a year, a year. And that's just one more swing a day, right? And over five years, 1,500 more, 9,000 over a lifetime. Who's more likely to win? So you pick anything you want, you begin to stack the odds in your favor.

How about at the gym? If every day you went one more minute in your cardio, so it's supposed to be 45, you do 46, do you know what that starts to do to you? You start knowing you're different. You start knowing you obliterate standards. You start knowing you can break through. When you break through an artificial barrier like 45 minutes, you do one more. It sets a catalyst for your entire day.

It sets a syntax. It sets a mindset for your entire day. It sets a syntax. It sets a mindset for the rest of your life. Never mind the fact that if you do 300 more minutes, which is 9,000 more over your lifetime, who's going to be more fit? So you begin to stack these things and your entire life changes. This is what I like to call compound pounding. Most people underestimate what time can do when backed up with massive activity. Right as I'm speaking to you, I'm looking out at the ocean right now and there's a massive rock formation and you can see the rivets in the rocks. And what caused those

rivets in the rocks was compound pounding of the ocean hitting that rock over and over and over again. Over and over, compound pounding against that rock. And over time, that ocean breaks the rock down over time, where you can see the breakdown in a rock that water does hitting it. Think about that over time. Not one time when the water hits it, not two times, not five times.

When you add up years and years and years of that water hitting the rock, it breaks it down. And that's like getting through to your dream. You have and years of that water hitting the rock, it breaks it down. And that's like getting through to your dream. You have to be like that water hitting the rock I'm staring at right now that over time that compound pounding breaks down the barriers, breaks down the obstacles, breaks down anything in your way of getting to your dream. So I'm sold out on all the strategies and tactics that I teach you. But what I believe in completely is the power of compound pounding. And here's the crazy thing about most people. They will give up on their dream

before the compounding has been allowed to kick in. So they'll work at it and they'll work at it and they'll work at it and they don't see the breakthrough. But what they don't understand is that rock was getting ready to break if you just keep pounding against it. But because most people don't see the evidence, see, if you watch't understand is that rock was getting ready to break if you just keep pounding against it. But because most people don't see the evidence, see if you watch that water hit that rock over one day, you're going to see no difference.

Two days, no difference. Five days, no difference. Maybe even a year, there's no difference. Maybe even five years. But you have the compound pounding of every wave hitting that rock over and over again. There's an inevitability to the breakdown of the rock. That's true of your goals and dreams as well. There's an inevitability to success.

It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when, when we adopt one more, when we adopt compound pounding. Do you know the kind of confidence you begin to have when you just accept in your life that I am going to be relentless, I'm always going to do extra, and you accept the fact that all things break down over time. All the barriers will go away, all the obstacles will go away, everything in

your way will go away if you keep after it over an extended period of time. Most people overestimate what they can do in a year. They do. They set up goals for a year and they overestimate where they're going to get to. And they dramatically underestimate what they can do in a decade. And the reason for that is most people don't understand the power of compound pounding. So I want you to accept today that you're going to be relentless, that you're going to keep coming, that you're like a dripping faucet. You're like those waves hitting the rock. Other people are going to get slowed down. Other people are going to take a break. Other people are going to flinch. Other people are going to cool it. Other people are going to believe they've made it. Or maybe some

people are going to believe they can't make it. But you're going to be relentless. You're going to be repetitious. You may not be the fastest. You may not be the smartest. You may not be the strongest. You may not be the most beautiful. You may not have the most articulate thoughts and ideas in the world. But what you got is compound pounding. What you got is one more. And when they get weak, you just keep comping. When they flinch, you blow their doors off. That's how you win in life, is you keep getting after it and keep getting it after it until the job gets done.

So a lot of people can be excited for a day. They can be excited for a month. Some people can be excited for a year or two or three years. But the winners, they stay excited as long as it takes to get the job done. They keep after it until the job gets done. They never stop. They're always after it.

And that's where their strength comes from. That's where their confidence comes from, is knowing their capacity to keep coming at you. And that all your competition's gonna get weak. They're gonna get tired. They're gonna surrender. They're gonna give in. They're gonna think they made it,

they're gonna take a break, they're gonna cool it, and you just keep coming. It's just nature, just like the nature of the ocean against that rock, it's just nature that you run down your dream, that you knock down your dream. I want you to implement all the things that I teach on Max Out, all the tactics,

all the strategies, but more than anything, I want you to buy into the fact of an inevitability of you winning. That it's inevitable. That it might not be a year or two years or three years, but you're going to stay excited and you're going to keep doing one more until the job gets done. Today's message is very simple. You can win. You should win and you will win. I want you to feel this. You will win if you just keep coming, you keep getting after it, you keep doing one more.

You can control this. You can't control all the exterior things in your life, people's attitudes, how they treat you, who cancels on you, who changes their mind, who hates on you, who lets you down. But you can control this. You can always go 46 instead of 45. You can always go 11 instead of 10. You can always make the next phone call. Always do one more meeting. Always do one more. Always, always,

always. And I promise you, you will knock down that rock that's in between you and your dream and make them come true. Today's really simple. You're gonna knock down whatever that rock is that's been between you and your dream. You're gonna keep after it. You're gonna be relentless. You're not gonna give in. You're gonna be the person who stays excited until the entire job gets done. Until that dream is real and you know long term all these other people they're gonna flinch, they're gonna get weak and you won't. You've adopted a max-out mindset and I want to remind you today to stay connected with

me. I want you to win. Hope you can feel it today. I want to break it down to its most simple form which is that you use nature to your advantage. You use the force of you, the force of effort, the force of sustained effort over an extended period of time to wear out the obstacles in front of you in your dream. I want you to feel the confidence that comes with it. I'm telling you, look at me, listen to me. You're going to do this. You're going to win if, and it's a big if, if you'll just adopt it. It ought to be written everywhere. One more, one more, max out everywhere you can put it. It's inevitable. It's not if anymore. It's just when. Plot twist. We're turning the tables on me and I'm being interviewed by my dear friend

Jamie Kern Lima about my new book, The Power of One More. So enjoy. God bless you. First off, I just want to say I have had the gift of reading the first draft of the manuscript of The Power of One More. Congratulations. Thank you. Um, it is such a good book and I feel like, you know, when I was reading it, I laughed, I cried, I bawled my eyes out. I sat there and read things and I thought to myself, they do not teach you this in school.

Like, there's so much in there that they just don't teach you in school, whether you're a business leader or leading a team or trying to learn how to be persuasive or just trying to live your best life. So just right off the bat, I wanna hear in your words, what is the power of One More? Why did you write this book? Who's it for?

Well, the first person I sent it to was you, of anybody in the world. So that should say something. The fact that you like it means a lot to me. So I wrote it after my dad died. So my dad passed away and I realized a couple things. One, I learned a lot of lessons from my dad, most of which were what I wanted to do in my life. And I wanted to write them to honor my dad

because most of them I took from him. The second part of it was it occurred to me that when you watch someone you love pass away, especially a parent, it sort of dawns on you that you ultimately are next. And you know that it made me really think about the end of my life and you know what do I want my life to be like? What do I want to have accomplished? Where do I want to have gone? What difference do I want to make? What

emotions do I want to have? And then also like what do I know about life so far? Because the older I get, the more I realize I don't know as much as I used to think I know. But there are certain things I've definitely discovered in my life that have helped me become more successful and happier. And I wanted to document them, you know, before I forgot them. And so I decided to go about writing a real manuscript, a thorough manuscript. I call it, you know, the ultimate guide to being either successful or happy. And those two things are sort of interchangeable, but it was emotional emotional writing it and I learned some things about myself and my dad as I wrote it some things dawned on me as I was writing it. Nope that was from dad too

that was from dad as well and so I'm proud of it. I'm proud of the book. It was obviously things you always wish you could do better or differently but as I've told you but I do believe this book will help people become happier and more successful for sure. You know I I was gonna ask you, hearing that, you know, writing a book is such a journey, right? I know you have a lot of people listening to us right now or watching have started the first page of their book or maybe they haven't yet or they want to.

And you know, on your journey, I was gonna ask you that right off the bat is what have you learned about yourself in this process? Cause this book is deep. I mean, it's like great business and leadership lessons, but the personal stuff and the layers are really deep. I think that that's a great question. And you and I discussed this a little bit last night just as we were talking about this,

but I think it's dawning on me more and more the impact that my dad's drinking had on me in my life even to this day. As I was writing the book, you know, just when you grow up with any dysfunction and you're feeling, by the way, I grew up in a very loving family, a tremendous family. I'm very proud of my family. But that doesn't mean it didn't come without, you know, some dysfunction. And a lot of people come from dysfunction. It could be alcohol or drug abuse. It could be divorce. It could be bankruptcy. It could be they didn drug abuse, it could be divorce, it could be bankruptcy, it could be they didn't tell you they loved you enough. One huge form of child neglect that I realized in writing the book is a parent who doesn't pursue their dreams.

You're neglecting your children when you do that. You're neglecting your children when you don't pursue your potential in your dreams. You're installing in them that it's okay not to become the best version of you. And they, a lot of things in life are caught, not taught. And what I realized when I was writing the book is I caught a lot of things from my dad that he doesn't necessarily intentionally teach me. But I do think as I read it, it dawned on me more and more that these things that happen when we're children, good, bad, or indifferent, do impact us as we get older. Even when the world thinks we've got it all together. Even when the world thinks, you know, man, that guy's got everything, or she's got everything.

People think that sometimes of you or myself. And I realize that no, there are, there are, there's impact and effect and ramifications from things that happen when we're young and when we're children that we carry with us even into adulthood. And it certainly uncovered some of those things about myself in the book writing it. What you just said is huge. I have never heard anyone say that before

and I just, would you mind saying that again? Because usually, and my own experience and so many other people were like, oh, do I, you know, am I too ambitious? Am I, you know, do I put everything on hold for my kids? A lot of times people think as parents, you know, are we going after things too much, right? And we dial it back.

And you're saying, you're saying not going after your dreams. I think absolutely that's a fact. I think it's the most insidious form of neglect of a child. Ooh! Is the, it's an, and it's- Coming in hot. Coming in hot, Ed Myleth. And I feel like strong,

I really believe that strongly now too, because there's something that happens to our spirit when we know we're not becoming who we're supposed to be. And that's, that, that thing that's happening to our spirit, that in and of itself robs us of our ability to even love people to the extent that we can, to express ourselves, to give them the energy that we're capable of giving.

And so, yeah, I think that a lot of people think that, well, I know I came from a great and loving family. That's wonderful. That's terrific. But was there anything in there where, you know, you look now at their lives and even as my dad got older, I'm so proud of my dad and the different things he accomplished. But there were even times later in life he goes, you know, this little spot there, I wish I'd have taken a bigger risk. I wish I'd have gone for it. I wish I'd'd just tried a couple different things and he would impart those lessons on to me. Now, he was such a humble person that as you know, we'll

talk about later, when he passed away I found out that just massive difference my dad was making every day in people's lives that I had no idea that he had done. But I think anybody listening to this or watching it ought to really think through. You love your family, it's really easy to say, hey sweetheart, you can be anything you want to be. But there's a point in most children's lives where they wonder, well, why aren't you?

And at some point, all of us, true, like I figured out who my dad is in writing this book, right? I figured, you know, at some point in my adulthood, I figured out who he was, who my mother was, how my mother's just, my mother's the lost person. She's this beautiful person who literally held our family together when it wasn't, you know, almost capable of being held together.

But I have to tell you, all children eventually figure out who their parents are in the world. You're gonna love your parents, but there's an age where you figure out who are they? What difference have they made? What have they achieved? What have they given? You know, what's their role in the world. And so all of your children are going to eventually figure that out anyway.

So you might as well go for your dreams now. And there's another notion, I'll just say lastly, this notion that, well, if I'm really crushing it at work, I'm going to be neglecting my family. Or if I'm really, if I'm at the gym, that's going to take from work. The truth is, I talk about this in the book about you know Extremity expands capacity and the truth is that nothing's further. That's absolutely not true for me when I'm crushing it at work I'm a better dad when I'm a great father I bring more love and compassion and joy and energy to work when I'm fit and training and eating great that magnifies

Positively all the other areas. There's this fallacy that if you have a lot of one, you must have less of the other. And that's just not true. You know, I am preparing for today. I am not taking a second of everyone listening in their precious time for granted. And I have, you don't know this, but I've reached out to a number of your close friends. Oh, my goodness. Asking them, what would you ask Ed? Oh, no. I have reached out to a number of your close friends, asking them what would you ask Ed?

Oh no, wow, that's amazing. I have reached out and a lot of people on Instagram DMing me questions for you, and you know, this was gonna come later, but I just wanna throw this out there because it's something that you just shared. So a lot of your community sending me questions, right? So at Eclipse Holsters asked, and I wanna share this

because it piggybacks on something you just shared, how do you handle your family that doesn't necessarily want you to succeed because they're more comfortable if you stay stuck and poor like them. How do you walk in your success and enjoy it? And so I think that's interesting because you're saying your kids will figure out who you are and really, really go for it.

And a lot of people are struggling because maybe their parents, their loved ones, their friends and family actually kind of prefer if they just stay stuck. Yeah, mine did. Mine did. And you know, I could tell you on the other side of it, they loved me. Most of the time, they truly love you. They're very concerned about you. And let's be honest, if you're an entrepreneur, there's a lot of struggle. And most parents don't wanna see their children hurt.

They don't wanna see you go through difficult times. Then there's the other part of it where they're like, oh, you're all after the money thing, or what's important is family, and what they fail to understand because of their own limiting beliefs. Here's what's gonna happen in your life. People with limiting beliefs are gonna be projecting

onto their belief systems over and over and over again. And as long as you are aware that that's what's happening, that it's not probably, look, there's probably some folks in your family that are antagonistic against you, but the vast majority love you. They love you. They're projecting onto their limiting belief systems. Here's what I can tell you that I know for a fact, that when you win, and you know I talk a lot about this in the book, the chapters about the matrix and I talk about neo and

Neo in the matrix is the one and you know that I'm well known for saying that you know that you can become the one In your family that changes the happiness and successful because in every family that you see that's wealthy or just happy It's some point in their lineage, way way back, they weren't. And then the one shows up, the Neo, the Jamie, and that family shows up. And here's what I can tell you, having been a person who sort of has been the one, is that you actually change the way they think eventually. And that my family now embraces bigger thinking. My family now embraces chasing dreams and maximizing your potential.

It took a while, took a couple decades, but that type of talk will not happen in my family again. And so the fact that that's happening to you in your family makes it even more requisite upon you to go do something great so that that legacy of limiting thinking and small thinking and playing life small and settling for, listen, it's not just good enough to be a good person in life. You're supposed to contribute.

You're supposed to make a difference. You were born to make a difference in your life. And so yeah, a ticket into the game is being a good human. A ticket into the game is being kind and caring, which is pretty rare nowadays. So that's a ticket into the stadium. But then you gotta get on the field and play. And to play the game is what life's all about. We were put here to play the game.

And I can tell you that on the other side of it, here's the great news. Your family won't think that way anymore when you're done. My family doesn't think like that anymore. My nephews, my nieces, my sisters, my mom, my family, they don't think like that anymore. They get it. And so I not only change the financial dynamic of my family, I changed our emotions. I changed the way we think.

And by the way, I would say that had my dad not made the decisions he made, I would have never been in a position. The sacrifices he made allowed me to be the one. And so the other thing lastly I'd say is a lot of you have beautiful souls in your family who have sacrificed so much for you. It's incumbent upon you not to rise up and to become that one that finishes the game, finishes the job. Some of you come from families with legacies of real tragedy in your family, or maybe you're

born into a dynamic where your entire race has been victimized, most of the generations of your existence, and you have ancestors that have sacrificed for you. I don't have that history, but many of you do. Man, you gotta do something great and honor them, and take it to the next level, and honor those sacrifices they made. And so, it'll change the way they think eventually.

What you just shared is gonna change someone's life today. Good. By carrying that, it's huge and you talk about the one in your family and two things to let everyone in on behind the scenes a little bit is, right before we started filming, we were sitting down just now and realized for the first time we both have bagged groceries at Safeway,

pushed carts in the parking lot. Yeah, you were better after me though. Yeah, you were better at it than me though. Yeah, you were saying that you put the bread on the bottom and the eggs. Don't put the eggs and the bread and the cakes on the bottom of the canned food. No, no. Yeah.

But we were both the one in our family, right? And I think that concept that you talk about is so powerful because there's so many people out there that have that narrative of like, oh, where I come from maybe limits where I can go. It's like no no no you can be the one in your family. Well you're a much better example than most people that know your story. You're a tremendous example of that being the case and so. Well thank you and I knew you're gonna try to make it about me today. I'm like uh-uh we're going right back to you Ed my way. You're in the hot seat.

This is about you. This is about you. This is about you, thank you though. Yeah, and you know that's true about you. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp, everybody, and I'm so grateful that we are because, you know, I really believe in therapy. And so many people ask me, what have all the people on your show have in common?

Cause I've had athletes, entertainers, you know, scientists, political figures, business leaders, self-improvement folks, and what do they all have in common? The vast majority of them have been to therapy and it's helped them. And so therapy can help you in a lot of different ways. It could be that you just really need to work through a challenge or a problem you've got right now. Maybe you just need somebody to talk to, but maybe you're going through a really difficult dark time and you need some professional help to work your way through it. And that's why I love therapy, but especially BetterHelp because you can do it online and if you don't vibe with your therapist they'll switch you out and get you somebody that you click with instantly. It can make a big difference in your life so whether you're going through just kind of a difficult time and want to talk out loud

about it therapy is the way to go and I love BetterHelp so never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash EdShow today to get 10% off your first month that's BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash ed show today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P dot com slash ed show. My dad works in b2b marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big Roas man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friend's still laughing me to this day. Not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do. Get $100 credit on your next ad campaign.

Go to LinkedIn.com slash results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com slash results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be, to be. That was a great conversation. And if you want to hear the full interview, be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes.

You'll never miss an episode that way. The premise of the book is I believe human beings can change. And the reason I believe human beings can change is because I watched my hero do it. My dad was an alcoholic and used drugs the first 15 years of my life. Didn't live the perfect life. And then I watched somebody make one decision,

give it one more try, and completely changed his life and lived the most magnificent life of any man that I've ever known. And so I know human beings can change because I watch this stuff happen up close. And the theory in my book is really simple. You were born to do something great with your life. My dad, until he got sober,

did not know he was born to do something great. your life. My dad, until he got sober, did not know he was born to do something great. He walked around with a lot of shame. He felt invisible. He didn't think he was qualified to help people. Just like thousands of people watching this and the millions who will ultimately watch the replay of it, they think they're disqualified

because of a mistake they've made or they've been average and ordinary all their life or something they're ashamed of or their weakness is something they're embarrassed by. They think I'm disqualified, that was my dad. And then my dad made one decision, and here's the truth, you were born to do something great with your life, right? You were, if you're out there in New Guinea,

who I just talked to online, you were born to do something great, and it's high time the world started to speak this way to each other, that we loved each other, that we supported each other, and that human beings know they were born for a reason, which is to do something awesome, in little ways and big ways, with their life, right or wrong.

And the theory is this, you're much closer to your dreams and your visions than you think you are. And it's because you think it's so far away, or because you think you're disqualified or not ready for it that you perpetually act in accordance with that and you keep this dream, you keep these visions that far away because you believe it.

And it's a lie. It's the adversary getting you to believe it's far away so you'll never get there. And the truth is your dream, your life, the things you want, you're one decision away. One relationship, one meeting, one event like this, one thought, one emotion, from completely changing your life. I've watched my dad do it, I've watched me do it,

I've watched a lot of my friends in this room do it. There's a bunch of people online that do it. And those decisions can do something great or something catastrophic. You're one decision away from messing up your life also and ruining other people's lives. And that's what I want to start out with today. This week's been hard for me

because I wanted to promote this event because I know we can change the world. The same time all of us are aware of what happened in Texas this week. And it's made me emotional all week. I've been torn. Do I continue? And I just know the world needs us right now. If you're online right now, share this.

Share this with people. Tell them, get online, hear this right now. The world needs some inspiration. It needs some love. It needs to know humanity's still good. It needs to know we can collectively do something awesome in our businesses, our families, our faith, in our communities, in our churches.

And this clown, this 18-year-old in Texas this week made one decision that ruined, destroyed so many families' lives. Not just the lives of the children that had their lives taken and their parents, but imagine all these precious children that were so scared in that school. The law enforcement officer, I'd respond, the community.

Any child in the world, any parent in the world right now, we've been affected, he's hurt us. And I wanna fix it with one decision. And so I've decided, I hope you're with me on this, I'm gonna take all of the proceeds of the book today, and we're gonna give it to the victims, the families victims in Texas, right? And so any of you, any of you that get a book or

want to go get another one you probably want to hand a few out every single dollar of that is going directly to the families directly through an organization called victims first org that money goes right to them and also I'm gonna take all the money from the book and give it to them. The other thing we're gonna do, and I hope you'll support this by getting extra books, going on Amazon, buy one more, buy five more. And also, I'm gonna then match what we raise and double it myself. So I'll give that away.

And my dear friend, Jamie Kern Lima, who many of you saw interview me on my show this week, she heard that I was doing this and she said, I'll match what you give. So now Jamie's matching what I give. So, so we're going to do something pretty awesome for these families. We're just going to prove there's a force for good in the world, which is all of us. I am really excited to have this lady on my show today because she's special. Not only is she a special human being, but she's had a very special life and a very, very interesting last three or four years of her life as well. I think she's going to share with you some insights and perspective that she's uniquely qualified to deliver to you. So Maria

Menounos, thank you for being here today. Thank you, I'm so honored to be on your show. You and I are both big believers that everything you need is within you now. And you started out, you started early in the interview by saying something among so many brilliant things, which is that if you'll get quiet and listen, you have the answer. And I think that was so beautiful,

but I don't wanna cheat the audience out of letting you answer, because I asked you two questions back to back there there This taught me what about life would you say? Tell me so much I think it taught me that your life it really is about your choices That we have more power than we know and more Choices and that it really is and more choices and that it really is, it really is about your health and your fulfillment and your happiness and the love you have with your people,

whoever your people are. That's the only thing that matters in that last moment. So I kind of had that moment, right? Where you're like, oops, what's gonna to happen? Am I going to be OK? Am I not going to be OK? Well, guess the only thing that mattered is the fact that I had Kevin and that he loved me and that I loved him and my parents and my dogs

and all of that. I've had some friends who were having some rocky times in their relationships. And it's so easy to be tempted and say, Oh, I'm just gonna go have fun with all these new people. And yeah, we're gonna get divorced. And that's it. I'm like, Okay, but guess what? When you're sick, she's your ride or die. She's gonna take care of you. This other person, yeah, you can go have fun. That's gonna be it. And so I've actually mended a few relationships

because of this knowledge and it's true. Like that's all you have in the end. Is your relationships and your health and your love. And yeah. I mean, that's something. I've had friends, I wanna ask you this. Because it seems like it didn't happen with you. And I know we're going deep guys.

I know today has been heavy, but I wanna give you the gift of this woman. I feel like for some reason, your story is more relevant right now, Maria, than it's ever been with all of, I think a lot of people think they're going through a crisis in their life right now. And perhaps there's some perspective given here as well,

also tools, but I've had friends, we've all had this everybody. We've had an experience, we've watched a movie and it makes us think something different about the way we're going to be around our children or our parents and it lasts for three days and then we're back to who we were before. Or we've had a business setback or a relationship break up and we promise ourselves, if I have another chance at a relationship, I'm going to do it this way next time. And then we don't. And we go back into our old patterns.

Patterns are incredibly powerful things in our life as you and I both know an awful lot about, but it's been a, it's been a few years now for you. It seems to me that this had a real impact on you. Is it because you regularly remind yourself of the incident? Is it because I want people to create lasting change in their lives. And even today listening to you, a lot of people right now are reflecting on their perspectives, on their coping skills, on what really matters, on reducing their stress levels, on their nutrition, on the people they love, on all of these things,

on laughing more and smiling through the shot, right? And all of those things. But this change seems to have been, I don't wanna call it permanent, but it's been long lasting for you and I hope it to be permanent. How have you done that? Was it just a massive pattern interrupt, this one incident,

or is there something else you've done that you just don't allow yourself to lose that moment? Yeah, I think I was going against my grain for a really long time unknowingly. And once you're in that kind of rat race, right? You just, you're in it. And so for me, when I got out of it, I was like, okay, this is a rebirth.

I am making major changes to my life. And I want them to stick. And so I almost like, you know, in like, yogis have to practice, like they have to give up their material possessions, I wanted to give everything up, I was trying to sell everything, I was trying to go real extreme. And my husband was like, no. But I knew that to hold onto it, I was gonna have to really protect it carefully. And whenever I would go out and do any public speaking, people would come up to me and say,

like, I had this too, and then I went back to my old ways. And anytime someone said that to me, that was just another reminder. And so I also have the gift of still having a brain tumor. And that is my constant reminder of leading a calm life, choosing the people I wanna work with, choosing the people I wanna be around. And all of the weekly lessons on my show

keep me grounded in that space too. And so I really held onto it because I needed it. I was suffering so much before and didn't know how to get out of it. This was my get out of jail free card. I was stuck in a dream that wasn't my dream anymore. So, you know, a lot of us start off in life and we have a dream and then we accomplish it and then we kind of get stuck there because then we're accomplishing and it's easy and

it's easy and it's easy and it's easy. But then you're just doing what's easy and no challenge, no growth comes, right? And then imagine if you're in toxic situations where people don't want you to grow on top of it and they're holding you down or whatever. And so for me, I was stuck in a dream that wasn't my dream anymore and I needed to reinvent and I needed to change my whole life.

And for me, this new chapter has been about all of that kind of spiritual and emotional growth. And I will say, and I say all the time, if I hadn't been doing the work with Tony and those seminars, I wouldn't have been prepared for this moment because I had those tools in my belt. I had the life is happening for me, not to me. I was able to eventually apply it to my mom too,

and then realize that the gifts from my mom are what I'm learning that I can impart on people. So she's like almost like my guinea pig, right? Like I'm experimenting on her and being like, wow, that works, we can apply this over here to all these people. When I look back at when I was little, I always wanted to help people.

I love solutions. And I look at my books, everything I've written, everything I've written, everything I've done is always about helping people. My network, AfterBest TV, it's about helping people. And so I love helping people. So I'm able to apply those things from my mom over to everybody else and it fills me. And so I knew that I had to hold onto it really tightly.

And do I falter sometimes now? Like, you know, I'm going through a challenging time and I have to keep relying on my tools and I have to keep remembering you can't allow these situations that aren't real to take your health. And it can be challenging in moments, but I balanced back really fast because of all of it now.

I gotta tell you, I told you that today was gonna be for me. You said when you were a little girl, you wanted to help people. I tell you, help me today. And I know you've helped. I hope everyone stayed to the end here because that idea of being stuck in a dream

that's no longer your dream, oh man, are there millions of people, including me, and some of the things I do every single day still, that those are old dusty dreams, frankly, that I'm just in because I'm good at them? Yeah. Easy for me, and I get significance and recognition

for staying in that dream. And I might lose some if I didn't stay in it. And I think that was another one of your gems. ["This Is the Enmiling Show"] I think that was another one of your gems. This is the Ed Myron Show.