THE ED MYLETT SHOW - TRUST THE PROCESS- with The Skinny Confidential

Episode Date: July 16, 2019

It’s time to GET THE SKINNY! This is one of my most tactical interviews to date. If you are ready to unlock the power of social media, and transform the lives of others AND your own, this interview is for you. This power couple has created one of the most influential podcasts in the world and built an empire all while maintaining a healthy marriage. … It is my pleasure to bring you The Skinny Confidential, w Lauryn Evarts Bosstick and Michael Bosstick Get a pen and piece of paper ready because this episode is jam-packed with everything you need to know about how this couple was able to build one of the largest online communities based on helping others and providing IMPACTFUL and PURPOSEFUL content. We dive deep into how you can get started as a social media influencer and podcaster, from finding the right platform, to how to get your message across clearly AND learn how to stand out in an oversaturated market. You’ll learn how to educate, entertain and inspire others and how to tap into the power of collaboration to build up others and expand your impact. This power couple is sharing their top 3 blogging tips along with an in-depth discussion about what’s on the horizon for social media and how to take advantage of the new trends in the social world. ON TOP OF ALL OF THIS… find out just how they have been able to build an empire AND maintain a successful relationship and how they implement habits and rituals that help their relationship grow and thrive. See what it takes to honor their commitment to building a life together and the 1 thing they do that brings them closer together. This episode will teach you how to TRANSFORM any area of your life and how to use sheer WILL to overcome every obstacle in your path.  

Welcome back to Max out everybody. I'm excited about today's show because I've done their show which is one of the most boom in popular podcasts on the planet and as I got to know this beautiful couple, the best looking couple in the world. If you're on YouTube watching this, I got to know them and I said I have to get you guys on my show because I think they're so incredible. This is Lauren Everett's Bostic with a hyphen

and the handsome Michael Bostic here with no hyphen. Are my guests here today and you probably recognize their faces because like I said, they have one of the top podcasts in the world but they're also built an incredible brand, their entrepreneurs, and their young people that are succeeding and so I wanted to pick their brains about why you become so successful so thanks for being here. Thanks for having us, this is beautiful. I mean look at the setting. Yeah, the setting is like insane. It's pretty spectacular and so were the two of you.

And so after I met you guys, I haven't stopped talking about you. Thank you. So sweet. I think the feeling is mutual. Our audience cannot stop talking about you. The podcast we did with you was one of the most valuable podcasts we've ever done. Thank you.

Well, I think today's going to be that for everybody else too. So what I dig about your story, I want them to know a little bit about you because not everybody in my audience does know you. But I love that it's sort of similar to my story with Kristiana as well, but how old were you guys when you first met first of all? We met when we were 12. We have not been together that long. He wishes. No, I'm just kidding.

No BS. I thought she was the substitute teacher. She came in at 12 years old. I was like four foot two at the time, and I looked over and saw this beautiful blonde fully developed. What would I look the same as I looked now so it was it was funny because he was super short and little. I was 12 years old. But I liked him right away and we sort of dated broke up in high school and got back together in college and didn't start a business together until about three years ago. I've had this guinea-confidential for nine years.

Michael was working separately. Yeah, I've always been a business operator, done my own thing, and we were together. I was obviously consulting and supporting with everything she needed with the guinea-confidential, but I was running more brick-and-mortar business, retail businesses. We talked about that a little bit on our show. Yeah. And just kind of consulting her on how to potentially turn this beautiful blog that she was working on into a brand and business.

She fully executed, so I can't take a lot of the credit there. It wasn't until maybe six or seven years into the brand that she started getting a lot more questions. Like who's this guy that's always in the background? What's he do? I knew I wouldn't be good on social because I'm just not the best at that stuff. You don't think so, huh? No, I just, I knew I wouldn't be good on social because I'm just not the best at that stuff. You don't think so, huh?

No, I just, I know I could be better. It's an area that I'm constantly working on, but I said, you know what, I can't seem to shut up. Maybe we'll do a podcast together. And their show, you guys, is so good. And I brought you on one, because I think your story's cool. I think it's, I think typically what most people would see the two of you visually, and I joke about you being

the most beautiful people in the world. But I have told that to about 50 people. And I've now told it to 50 million people or whatever the number is. But I do think you'd think all these two got together after they were really successful. They met at some gala or something like that. So I think it's awesome that you met when he was four foot two and you were 12 years old. But even more awesome is the success the two of you are building together at such a young age, at least to me, it's a young age.

And so I want to talk about some of the things that have worked for you guys because in our audience, everybody listening to this on some level or another wants to build either a better life, have more happiness, have a better relationship, build a brand, build a following, express themselves creatively, which I think you're just extremely good at. So I wanna talk about all those things today and we gotta do it in a short window of time. So I'm just gonna wrap and fire and let you guys talk about stuff.

So the podcast is called the skinny confidential, but that's been a brand, as you said, for like nine years you had. How did that start? Where did it come from? Yeah, so I was attending San Diego State University and just to give you a background, I, you know know we grew up in

Dalmar, California, a beautiful area. I always my whole theme of my childhood I always say was I had to figure it out. Always having to find creative angles if I wanted something I had to figure it out. So ended up going to San Diego State. My mother had just passed away. My dad's super entrepreneurial and I was bartending full-time and I'm talking like six nights a week. I was teaching Pierre-Baron Pilates and I was very, very uninspired. I was bored and I didn't know why because I was go-time. I had $80 in my bank account no money dating Michael at the time and he can tell his story separately but it was definitely something where there wasn't anything like what I wanted to create.

I saw that there was a space in the market on campus where there wasn't a place for women to connect other than sororities. And it's $800 a year to be in a sorority, which was a lot of money for me at the time. I mean, I'm busting my ass bartending, you know, teaching, going to school full time, trying to make all my money, like not making any money,

living at my godparents' house, just in not a good space. So I was like, how can I do a sorority, but do it online? And not just do it in San Diego, how can I get women from Japan and Australia, and you're up and connect and get all their tips and tricks in one place? You thought about that consciously even in college, you're thinking that.

For me, it's always been community. That is number one for me. It was not a blog to show what I'm eating, what I'm wearing, and how I do my hair. It was a place for me to connect women everywhere and get someone in Minnesota's tips and tricks and talk to the supermodel and talk to a celebrity and put it all in one place. So essentially it was a resource. Okay, so let's stay there for a second.

That's less than one, because I'm conscious of doing that too. It's about sort of building a community and connecting people. Sometimes that is even more important than what the actual message is initially for those of you trying to build something. You can't just be, in my opinion,

you can't just be putting content out there that has to be intentional with the intention of doing something specific. So that's a huge tip number one. And I gotta tell you, this community's powerful. It's one of the most loyal audiences I've interacted with because I've done a lot of shows, a lot of podcasts, and I've told you, I put it in the top one or two

in the world that I've done. And so you've built something, I think the longevity helps too, but I didn't mean interrupt you. I just wanted to jump in and acknowledge that point. So you start doing that, you're building it, did it start with the blog? Is that where it started? It started with the blog.

The blog's the mother ship, it's the foundation. And it's funny because I looked back on myself nine years ago and I didn't know obviously what I was doing, but I went into it with three things. Wanted a community? You said the other word intention. I didn't go into this to make money. I went into it knowing that money would come, but I didn't go into it thinking I'm gonna make all this money and that's all I care about and how do I monetize? I didn't make one dime and I

really want everyone to hear this because I get so many questions from bloggers. I didn't make one dime for three years. And I blogged seven days a week. And I wasn't waiting for the money. I just knew it would come as I continued to provide valuable to end the whole content. And that's the third one is providing that quality content it's so important.

To piggyback off that there's so many people that approach us now and they say, I wanna create this brand. And the first question is, I wanna do this because I wanna make this. And my answer, especially in my capacity now with your media is always saying your intention always needs to be first providing value to a community or to an audience. Like the one thing that Lauren and I, you know, speaking on the show a little bit, the intention was always to provide insight or value or some type like we

just released this podcast and I said the whole point is to provide positive change right? If somebody's listening to this show that they there's a takeaway whether they want to start a business they want to live a better life or they want to look and feel better I think that there's so many creators that are jumping in this space and they're getting ahead of themselves saying I need to make money. I agree with you. They don't understand that if you build the community first and provide value to an audience that that's the money will come, right? Yes.

And the bigger problem then you have it saying, what you say yes to and what you say no to. Yeah, they're asking the wrong questions. You know, it's funny. I'd love to add to what you said there, but those would be the three things I would say about building a community, having any attention, and then you got to create great content that's valuable to people. There's nothing that's perfect. That's exactly what I do.

But that's why I love your content so much. As you do those three things, and I't know if if those were your three things But I get all of that from you. You know, I think for me I think you started with more clear intention than me. I think this is great for everybody Let me say this too Lauren start with a blog and a lot of you message me. I don't want to do a podcast There's all kinds of different ways that you can be expressing your content and we're to talk about blogging in a minute because you're so to this day, I can incredible out it.

I'm a male, I think your audience is slightly more female probably, but I consume your content every single day because it wanted to apply to me 95% of the time and the 5% of it doesn't apply if it's if it's female centric is I have a daughter, I have a mom, I have female friends, I have a wife, it's like, so all of it applies to me. But I gotta tell you, I probably started out, I think I just sorta started to be candid with you. I knew I wanted to express myself. I certainly wasn't thinking about monetizing,

but I don't think originally I had an intention of what it would look like or who I'd reach. I just started being expressive. And so had I had that, I'd been further along, I think. So can we talk about blogging for a second with you? So, you just made a post about this. I think it was yesterday. Do you still post every day?

I post five days a week, but here's the thing. And I think this is so important to talk about on your podcast too, and Michael can speak more on this. But I've realized that when I go where the attention goes, so that I evolve and I pivot where I need to pivot. And two, I think now what you're selling to people is time. So a blog, you have to sit down and you have to read it like this. And it's taking my audience's time.

Instagram, you're scrolling through it. It's taking my audience's time. Instagram Story, you're watching it. It's taking my audience time. A podcast is the only medium that I'm completely respecting our audience's time. And with that, it makes Michael and I feel so good that our audience is getting their nails done.

They're working out, they're cleaning the kitchen floor while they're learning something that's going to be so productive to their own life. So let me ask you, I'm gonna go back and forth because Michael's got dear media, right? And that's sort of managing women that are in this podcast space, right? Yeah, so we have 30 shows currently under management

with full service, production, distribution. But what we've been, what I think it's important to focus on is that Lauren and I have just been practitioners of this entire media space for so long. And when we saw attention going to audio, we said, okay, listen, this is an opportunity to help people one, produce better shows,

and two, make a business out of it. And I think that there's so many people that jump in and say, I'm doing this, I'm doing that, but they're not practitioners. And I think that I can only take the credit of being in the right place with a lot of time. It wasn't some great foresight of, oh, I thought, and I knew audio.

It was just that we were doing it for three years, self-producing, adjo joining a network, going back to self producing, and learning the ins and outs, struggling to figure out, okay, let's figure a way to do this. What works on a podcast? In other words, what gets you traffic? I'm going to ask you about blogging next. I'll tell you a funny story. I think this is what works on a podcast, and we talked about some of the people offline about who we think are our favorites. My favorite thing is when somebody, a known person, shows up, and they have a entourage of the people offline about who we think are our favorites. My favorite thing is when somebody a known person shows up and they have a entourage of PR people and the PR people come and they want to sit in the room and

they want to stare at Lauren and I like this and I'm like, this is him. You can sit there and stare at us all you like. You're still going to ask the questions because we're not putting the guest first. We're putting our audience first. And what happens when the audience knows that you're they're your priority and that they're first that's what build podcast. We're not selling something. We're not trying to push an agenda. We're trying to help this audience live a better life or get inspired or whatever it is. And so that's what helps a podcast group is they say hey cut the BS. These people are serving us.

And that's really the intention behind the podcast. So regardless the PR, regardless of the brands, it's building a service for the audience to get a benefit from. Mel Gibson always says this, and we talk about this so much, but it's like to educate, to entertain, to inspire, our content always has to do one of those. And if you can do all three, you're fucking golden.

Oh God, that's so great. It's a perfect trifecta. So if you're out there listening, and you want to start anything in any medium on social media, I would say to make sure you're getting one of those three things in. And if you can do all three, like I said, like your goals. How's blogging different? So first off, I want to know where skinny confidential come from.

Where did that title come from? And give us a couple tips on blogging that may be different than podcasts. So the skinny confidential has nothing to do with being skinny. It's get the skinny, get the juice. It's a resource. It's always been a resource. And I wanted to get the juice. I didn't want the PR conversation about Joel's half.

I wanted in depth specific details of what she's using on her face, what she's eating, what kind of, I wanted the real details, not what she's being paid to say. And so that's where it's really getting skinny. Okay. Three blogging tips, I would say, don't blog because it's the cool thing to do.

I think you would agree with this with podcasting. And also know yourself. Like I feel like the self-awareness is really important. For me, I love to write. And what you're going to get when you read my blog is it's going to feel like happy hour with me. It's going to feel like a one-on-one conversation where you're able to learn something. I want people to leave my blog, feeling that they can go be the best version of themselves. Not emulating what I'm doing, not copying my formula, just picking up tips

and tricks of something they can apply to their own life. Yeah, see, I love that. I want our audience to hear this. So, this is such rich stuff, thank you, by the way. I love that we're getting into stuff that helps the audience, right? Immediately. And a lot of people listening, it's like, I'm not sure I want to blog. I don't know that I want to podcast. Clearly podcasting, I think is the most valuable space for what you've just said. It can be consumed doing anything, that's one of the great values of it. But I will say to you, I've had a lady sit here named Jasmine Star.

I don't know if you know Jasmine or not, but Jasmine sort of expresses herself with photography. So her social media brand grew through taking pictures, like almost that's her art form. You're started with a blog that moved into a podcast. Mine started audio then moved into video. And so there's all different ways. I think it's just what you've said, being authentic to yourself and just starting with some intention of doing those those various things. I'm curious about your show and the overall space for both of you because I tell people this all the time, if you're going to do something do it though. I mean, get into it and have an intention of being great at it.

And this is not something you should take, I think light heartedly or take casually, if you're gonna get into the space of wanting to influence people, right? It's a lot of work. Yeah, it's a lot of work. I know that it affects me. How do you, how do you, if you do?

How do you manage the demands? I mean, even a person ready who's got a business like, just coming up with a post every day on Instagram for me is difficult or how do you manage that or do you not as a distruggle for both of you? I am constantly engaging with my audience. So much so that I can tell you what nail polish color she wears, what she's listening to on the ride home,

where she works, where she goes to work, how she wears her hair, you know, what she eats for dinner, I am so, I actually am bad at returning my personal text messages because I am so in my DMs and my Snapchat DMs and my, I have a secret Facebook group with 50,000 women in it where we connect in its community.

And I think what ends up happening with that is I listen and I let the audience lead. They are the captain of the ship. I'm sort of helping it move, but they're driving. The traditional celebrity never had access to the actual, let's say, fans at the time, right? Like they weren't in communication. I think where people make a mistake in this space once they have platform.

First of all, you get platform because you have a vested audience that's interested in what you have to say, right? And so you know what they're interested in what you have to say based on one, the engagement. But two, you interacting with them and asking them, what would you like to see more of? What would you like to see less of? I think the moment creators stop engaging with the people that have given them platform is the moment they start to fall down and start to fall off. Because those are the people that are driving the ship.

We always like to subscribe, it is like, you know, they're pointing us and we're just the arrow that's going wherever they want to go. What about collaborations? How big has that been for you? Over time of either collaborating on someone else's show, having someone on your own program, something like this today.

The reason I ask that is I think one of the fastest ways to grow your brand and to grow your following is collaborations. That could be for people, I want to know it with you. People say, well, I don't know anybody. I'm talking about, if you have 300 followers and you collaborate with someone who's got 200 followers and you agree to post something of theirs and they repost something of yours, you're collaborating and you picked up 11 more followers. There's all kinds of ways on every level to collaborate, but how's that?

Obviously, you built this massive movement. I got to assume collaboration had something to do with it. you picked up 11 more followers, right? So there's all kinds of ways on every level to collaborate, but how's that? Obviously, you built this massive movement. I got to assume collaboration had something to do with it. I've always looked up to Oprah. Oprah is someone, and this is such a cliche answer, but I mean, really honest. Oprah is someone that builds other people up. Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, she builds other people up,

and I've noticed sometimes with my my industry is that sometimes you know That's not happening and I The foundation of my blog again was getting tips and tricks from other people Whether it be the everyday girl or the celebrity or the supermodel or you know someone like like bringing other people up I've always really try to come from an abundance mindset with that and that it's very Tony Robbins, but it's true. I've never looked at it as scarcity.

So even if I did a collaboration with someone, which you know this happens all the time, did a podcast with someone and they don't share it, I'm okay with that. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with it. It's like, because I'm gonna go on to the next one and hopefully they're gonna share it.

And it also comes from somewhat selfish places that we know we don't have all the answers You know Ed might have some answers. We don't have so what greater benefit to have you come on to our show and ask you Would everyone ask you for an hour and pick your brain and get that information and if by chance You share some knowledge with us in our audience learn something even better So I think that people that don't want to collaborate in the space are short-sighted, they're short-minded, it always comes around. I believe in karma, I believe in just treating people well, and I think that by putting that positive energy out there, it comes back on. So even if we have someone on and they don't reciprocate, that's okay, we'll have

somebody else on and they will. I understand. By the way, I'm sort of struck by how you, I do this with some of the athletes I coach. I think sometimes I articulate for them things they do well unconsciously. And then they go, I do do that. You're doing that for me right now. Many of the things you're describing, I've not been conscious that I've done. But same thing. Some of the collaborations are for selfish reasons. I'm just glad to hear from these people and learn from them. But because the two of you are so good at this, I'm trying to become more omnipresent, meaning,

I don't want to rely just on Instagram or just YouTube or you know, I'm starting the blog space myself as well. I'm curious because you're great at multiple aspects of this. Both of you, where do you think it's going? What do you think the future of influencing, we'll call it social or business, social and business media? You think it's just strictly on Instagram or do you think the future is doing multiple platforms?

What do you think it is? It's so interesting that you asked that because recently there's been a shift. And what's happening is everything is too curated. And it's getting too edited and it's getting too high editorial. Everything is going to go back to less makeup. And it's getting too edited and it's getting too high editorial. Everything is going to go back to less makeup, less filters behind the scenes, showing more

of your real life. And what's going to end up happening is that people now want access to every facet of your life. And you're going to really evolve as a creator. And listen, I need to work on this too. Like, yeah, everyone does. Like, I think that the veil needs to be pulled off now. It's starting, like, it's almost too high level quality.

I know that's crazy, but sometimes when I listen to a podcast that's recorded in a hotel room, it resonates more with me. I think people wanna see the struggle behind the scenes. I think it can't just be your highlight reality. Yes, you're giving people, and I want Michael to jump into his perspective, but I wanna add to that, because this is sort of how we do it here.

You're 1 million percent, right? We're talking about this off camera. But for me, this gives everyone hope out there who doesn't have a team, who doesn't have a mic, who doesn't have three editors, might say, mic, I don't mean microphone, I mean, who's the head of my videography department. My worst performing content is the most highly produced. My best produced content is a selfie camera where I talk into it.

That should give everybody hope that's listening to this, because people, it's reality. And so the more filtering there is, the more production there is, the less real it is. And so you're 1 billion percent, right? Which is good news, because that means this is wide open for anybody to do well in, right? Anybody can. The roadmap is the rock.

It's wide open rock. Yes. On Instagram. He talks to the camera this close to... Sweating. He's sweating. The roadmap, look at what the rock is doing. That is where we're headed.

The other roadmap for the rock, I, that is where we're headed. The other road map for the rock, I love that you use this example because I just said this on a show, is that he's a great actor and he's built this huge brand, but it'd be interesting to debate. Is he getting bigger and bigger movies, then that's growing as social media?

Or is he getting bigger movies because his social media is so big? And this is important ticket in all businesses. There's not a business that exists, that does not benefit from a larger audience size, from credibility, to getting deals done, to signing contracts, to legitimizing yourself with clients that you don't know.

My theory on the rock is that social media presence has helped him acquire bigger and bigger movie roles. It'll help you acquire better and clients in your business. So what were you guys doing? To kind of piggyback off what you just said, in the beginning, because I'm a business guy, and you're a business guy, a lot of people that I'm in business with,

like, is this a vulnerability that this guy is on these platforms, saying whatever he wants to anyone he wants all the time, I think it gives a level of protection, right? Because that audience will give me that shield and if there's you could say whatever you want, however you want, they know it's real, there's not a veil that you're hiding behind.

And I think that gives you a level of, like, if we want to go start this thing, they're coming with me. If we want to go start this thing, they're coming with me. And so I think to piggyback kind of off this whole conversation, where I think the space is going is less curation, more vulnerability, and why we've been so keen on audio is this is a very hard medium to edit. You may not like everything I say, you may not identify with me on everything, but you know that this is real, right?

There's no way it's hard to fake a conversation. It's hard to go on 200 episodes and curate that 200 times, right? How many people do you like? When you have a conversation with someone, do you not always do you want to continue to hear what they have to say? So what I mean by that is with Instagram,

when you see a beautiful picture of this beautiful person in a street, and you're like, wow, this is so great. And you follow them and then you hear them on audio. And it's not quite what you want. Oh. The audio is going to be huge because it's going to start to reveal people's real personality. And that's what I think people want personality.

So good. You know, once that I was reading the other day, you know the stats better than I do, Michael. But the vast majority of podcasts currently don't even get 500 downloads. What's the stat? 90% or something like that? 700,000 of these things in existence.

So imagine how hard it is to be visible in the space. OK, so 700,000 of them. The vast majority don't get 500. People say, well, that's why I shouldn't get into it. No, I think that's why you should get into it because maybe your first show won't or your 11th show won't, but you're documenting your life by doing podcasting,

by doing Instagram. If there's a value to just breadth of content, don't you agree? There's just a value of having a lot of stuff you've produced. I agree, but people have to be conscious that they have to be themselves and do them. If I came out and said, I'm doing a second rate version of the Edmai Let show, that's not going to work.

If I come out and say, this is authentically me, and I hate throwing that word authentic wrong, but it's true. And I have a unique point of view that only I can cover, only Lauren can cover, only you cover, that's where you're going to see longevity. The people that make mistakes is it's a second rate version of Edmai Let or a second rate version of the skinny confidential. And there's no way to stretch that into the future, because it's a second-rate version of Ed My Letter, a second-rate version of the Skinny Compadential, and there's no way to stretch that into the future because it's just constantly trying to do a second-rate version

of what somebody else has already done. Really, that's one of the things I've really agreed on myself when I started it. I'm just gonna do it my way. I don't wanna trail the way someone else is doing it. The other thing, right, and now sort of, it's kind of flattering to me when I see people trailing me.

It's like, well, I must be doing something, right? But the other thing that happens when you document the real you, everyone, and I do this with you guys, that's why I wanted you here today. Once I did your show, I was like, oh my God, before I did your show, you got to do the show. This is a legit following, they've got great content, they're great people.

Then I met you, I went, I'm blown away by them. Then I experienced the power of your audience. And I wanted you here to teach people how to do it. But I also, the way you, I went, I'm blown away by them. Then I experienced the power of your audience. And I wanted you here to teach people how to do it. But I also, the way you produce your content, I root for you. You're so real with it, I root for you. And that's why you want to document the real you. You don't want to just build a following.

You want to build a community. But also, I think the more people see your vulnerabilities, they're kind of pulling for you, right? And you, that way you don't have to push your audience to do things, they're coming with you. Don't you think you'd do that really good job of that? Totally. Whenever I listen to your podcast and I hear you open up

about something that you don't do good at, that you don't do well, but you keep trying and keep learning and you're trying to become a practitioner, it pulls me towards you as a listener because you're opening up. You said something earlier in this episode that is such a gem. You said that you just launched this podcast

and you just sort of threw it up and you didn't know exactly what you were doing. I think if you're out there and you're listening, you don't need to have everything perfect to launch it. Michael always said, you launch fast and adjust to consumer behavior. And I think what both of us did with our podcast, because I know you said this earlier,

is that we threw it up there. It's not perfect at first. We learned from the audience, we connected with the audience, we adjusted, and then we just kept doing it over and over and over again, rinse and repeat. And then you really do, you become a practitioner of the space. Every business I've ever had has launched with a not picture perfect product.

And I've always had to adjust and figure out how to, and honestly it's always a working product, but how to work towards perfection of that product by listening to what the customer or the audience is saying and adjusting. We talked a little bit, I have that business jet bed. We make beds for corporate and private aircraft. High net worth individuals are purchasing these products. The first version of that we launched, imagine putting on your jet, and the first thing that happens is it deflates, and you're falling and laying on the floor of your plane. That happened to me.

The only way to adjust is to listen to what happened, figure it out, and make it right with the customer. Same with our podcast, we launched it out of our kitchen. The sound was bad, we're interrupting. We didn't know how to direct the talk to your audience. Horrible fights, and we listened to all, I went and scoured, I'm a a glutton punishment, all the negative views. Key interrupts, they talk too much.

The sound is bad. Key interrupts, key interrupts, key interrupts. I was gonna make that up. And that's how we said, okay, you know what, we hear you, we're going to work to make it better. And by doing that and acknowledging the audience and letting them know that we are listening to them, they were rooting for us to say, okay,

let's help these guys get better. For that to happen. That's exactly what I did. I'd read the negatives in the beginning, and I let that guide me. It hurt me a little, but I'm thinking, then I'd watch, I was almost mortified. I am interrupting.

I do talk over them, and I still do it. I still, there'll be a show we'll do, because people think, you guys, I think you're this way too. I'm very self-aware. I'm also hard on myself. There'll be certain interviews today's not one of them because it's going so well.

And I'm like, I'll tell Mike afterwards, God, I talked to Overture, and why did I interrupt that they were on a roll? I'll make these mistakes, but you would think that you want to be that way to get better. But you just went somewhere where I wanted to go next because I know people want to know this.

What is the relationship like with you guys? So give me something that you guys have a challenge with. So what is, so you got another hour? Well, we could, but I'm. Let's do part two, but I met you. And I think I have this a little bit of my own life too, but I met you and I'm not kidding when I open the show with this. I call Chris to have them to go,

I just met the best-looking couple in the world. And I said, but what's great about them is they're different, but they're like, they're really a good team. Like, their energy is symbiotic. They sort of, they're a little bit unique. Each of them, they work so well together. And even I left that day, like, these two really got to go in.

So let's peel that back for a second. Because I think there's people now that are looking at the good relationship issues. So like, what's a struggle for you guys? It's one of you're like, I don't know if you call it a sore spot in your relationship that keeps coming back over. First of all, there's 100 struggles of working with your significant other.

When do you shut it off? And in relationships in general. And you say we had a symbiotic energy. We don't have a symbiotic energy when it comes to knowing when the boundary needs to be shut off. Like, Michael, for years would wake me up saying things like, we gotta talk about our bank account. We gotta talk about, we gotta talk about this podcast.

And I finally had to set a boundary where it was like, you know what, I don't wanna talk about business until I've had my coffee, I've done my workout, I've done my meditation, I've done my light movement hydration. Like, I need to get in that space to wrap my head around it I think first of all it's just like launching a podcast with a relationship you have to adjust to each other It's a dance So if I know that I'm not good before I've done all those things that I just named 100 things then I know I need to communicate that with

We have but as far as as struggles, I would say, we have listening struggles. We have boundaries of when to shut it off. We have fights all the time when we're doing our intros all the time. We're both very type A. We're both very alpha. We're both used to running our own ships. Right. There's a common misconception that Lord and I do everything in every business together.

I've always had my own things, she's had her own things, and we come together on the pod. That's important I think. And so it's important for people to understand and distinguish that. We don't do everything, but when we do imagine two type A's that think that should be one way, that are working on the same thing as equal partners while also in a relationship sleeping together Yeah, that can be a challenge to turn off and when to shut down and there could be a moment where Maybe I want to talk business and she doesn't I have to respect that boundary like okay, wait a minute It's not about me. I try to make every decision. I think as a good husband should with my wife and thought How does this gonna affect her? What does she want to do and their sacrifices that need to be made as a man in order to do that

It's not always my way anymore and I have to remember that. I'm very creative in the sense where I need a lot of thinking time and I've been studying a lot of we're gonna have Keith Cunningham on our podcast and he talks about thinking time all the time and I've realized I need that. I need that thinking time to wrap my head around my vision. I have a very clear vision of how I want my community and my product line and whatever it is to roll out in front of me. And if I don't have that thinking time, I shut down. He is more go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

I got to wrap my head around stuff before I just make decision. Is there a ritual that holds your relationship together whether that be a date night or a walk or meditation or vacation once a while? Is there some ritual you guys use that works? I think there's a lot of... Born and I, a lot of people, we like to get away together. I've noticed. That's why I ask that. We like to go. We like to do things like read and bed together. It doesn't have to be a whole conversation. We like to share books and passes. Like there's

interesting podcasts texting each other. I think that you have to be a whole conversation. We like to share books and passes. Like there's interesting podcasts texting each other. I think that you have to find things that you find interesting in home. Another thing that I think limits some couples is it's okay to want to talk business at dinner sometime. Yeah, it's okay. I've seen a lot of my friends that they want to talk to their wife or their significant other about the stuff. They say, no, you can't talk about it.

Yeah. So really what it is for us constantly is finding those rituals and finding the balance and respecting each other's boundaries where she says, hey, you know, this is not the right time, I really hear that and take it in. You know what, we're both very curious people. We always want to be better. We always want each other to reach our full potential. So I think the reading thing is huge.

We love to read. We probably read a book a week. We love podcasts, love to listen to podcasts together. We're just, we love to read. We read it. We probably read a book a week. We love podcasts, we love to listen to podcasts together. We're just, we're curious individuals. I think we would be bored if we weren't with someone that constantly wanted more. At the end of the day, we have our struggles, but we're both committed to building a life together.

And I think that's why we can go diversion sometimes, but at the end of the day, we know like this is what we're committed to do together, and so we can always come back. I'll probably you guys get this question, that's so beautiful. The reading together, I've never heard that, that's awesome by the way. That's really good. Reading is, I mean, I, anyone out there I recommend finding a great book and getting lost

in it. That's when I have my most creative moments. It's funny, say that off the topic but sort of related and it wasn't with Cristiana but it was with my daughter a few nights ago she read to me and then I read to her and it just I want to say this because I think it's as beautiful what you just said it was a different type of connection between my daughter and I where I read to her and she read to me I can't really express just everyone even picturing that right you could probably picture it's sort of

beautiful yeah you know just to share something together but from different and she read to me, I can't really express, just everyone even picturing that right, he could probably picture it's sort of beautiful. Yeah. You know, just to share something together, but from different angles, I love that idea, I'm actually gonna implement that. What would you say, because I bet you could ask this a lot because you do the podcast as a couple,

but I bet you'll the women ask you this a lot. This is a hard question for me, because I get asked it often, and I'd like a better answer than I can give, because I don't suffer from this. What would you say to somebody who says, my spouse is not supportive of what I'm doing? You must get asked that a lot. I do.

You, my honest opinion. Yeah. I think I try to take accountability for every area of my own life. If your spouse isn't being supportive, I would say that you need to communicate it, evaluate it, or, you know, to be honest, like if it was me, I mean, I'm a very independent person, I wouldn't, I don't like to blame outside things. Like, for your spouses and supportive, you either need to sit them down and really get him to listen. And if they're not listening, I would evaluate, like, is that the person that you want to be with forever?

I think that's the best answer. I agree with you. The reason I asked you that is because I think most people don't have the courage to give that answer. I mean, I couldn't be with a spouse that's not supportive of what I'm doing. Particularly if it's a pattern. If there's one thing you're doing, right, I think that's one thing to our audience.

I think there's one thing I'm not supportive of this because I've got a real issue with this thing, that can be evaluated. But if this is a pattern of sort of a lack of support, you devaluate whether that's the right person for you, right? You know, I totally acknowledge that. Would you add anything to it? I would just say, I think that a lot of people, they get in these situations and they get

stuck, right? And they're in this pattern, and they're fearful of breaking the pattern. They're not just deal-breakers, right? If I'm not supportive of her and she's not supportive of me, we're gonna analyze that and we say, why are we together? Right, and I always tell people, I don't worry about my business,

I don't worry about financial stuff. I don't worry about outside criticism because I'm already operating, knowing that I have the support of my wife, and from there, I'm already on a winning plot. You can't, you take everything away from me, I know I have that, and so I don't get scared, I don't get worried, I don't get fearful, I don't get fearful, because I have hurt.

And just, if you don't have that from your significant other, maybe think about, is that the right person to be with? I just playing off that, I feel like I talk to a lot of women on a daily basis, and I would say two things. I would say, I don't listen to what society tells me I need to do. So, if I was single right now, I would be 100% okay with that, and I probably would just be working on my business. I don't care that society tells me I have to have a kid at this age, and I have to get married at this age. And the other part of that is I tell them, don't settle.

Don't settle for half-ass in any area of your life. None. Not your relationship, not your business. I just, I don't think that you have to settle. I totally agree. And when you start settling in relationships, this is a pattern where you will settle another. As you think they're not related, they are.

I just did Amanda Cerny's podcast. It's not even out yet. And at the end, a young lady called in who was young and she said, I'm with this man. I love him, but I'm settling because of the way he treats me in this regard. I don't even like the way he chooses food. She went from little things to bigger things she settled for. And I think I surprised Amanda and the other women in the room when I said, I wouldn't be with them. I mean, you're better than having to settle. This is a decision with

someone who's been the rest of your life with. You should not settle in any damn area, compromising and settling are different things. In a relationship where I'll give a little bit, you'll give a little bit so we meet. But that's totally different and a lot of people will, especially I think sometimes, they just like, no, I've compromised. No, that's not a compromise. He hasn't done any, hasn't changed at all. You're settling. Don't settle in your relationships, everybody.

There's billions of people in the world, billions, right? And forget, I couldn't agree with you more on that. Don't settle and stop looking at your timeline or what your mom wants or what your dad wants or what your sister thinks. I just laser focus. I asked Bethany Franco once to her best advice and she says, stay in your own lane. Michael, the Michael Phillips. Belps. Stayed in his own lane. And that's not to say, like, don't see what everyone's doing. Taste It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success.

It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success.

It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success.

It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a success. It's a relationship. That's going to transcend in every other area because it's the biggest It's the one of the most significant parts of your life. It's the person you're going to spend the most time with So I really I really appreciate you saying that now one thing I've noticed about you Why I don't think you settle we only have a few more things but you're like me both of you You're addicted to personal development and improving yourself and you're you listen to the right people you listen to me I listen to you guys all the time and And I appreciate how much you promote me as well,

and I need to do a better job of starting to reverse promote you. You promote us all the time. You can't have me on Instagram. It's so much time. But not enough, I need to do more of it, because I'm such a big believer in you, but I think the reason neither of you settle

is these are two people working on themselves to build a better relationship. You're both trying to improve yourself. Your identities are so high, you won't settle in different areas. How critical has that aspect for both of you Ben, Michael, you first about just constantly working on yourself to create the next best Michael all the time?

We're hard on ourselves in that regard, constantly looking for improvement, right? And I have, I think we both have issue celebrating achievement or success, right? I always tell people I'm like a dog, you know, it's in the dark night. You ask the Joker, why do you do this? He's like, I'm like a dog chasing a car. I wouldn't know what to do if I caught it. I tell him what's success and what's with achievement.

Like every time I get to a milestone, it's on to the next one. I think it's because we're so interested in self improvement, not just for ourselves, but for each other. Where I think an area that's interesting to explore for people is everyone so interested on self improvement, working on themselves, a recent conversation with Lauren and I saying, let's focus on what we need to do to improve the relationship together. So it's not just about us, but it's about the relationship. Some people put, you know, I want to improve my business, how I'm going to improve my fitness, my health.

What about, how am I going to improve my sex life? How am I going to think about complimenting my wife more? How am I going to be a better listener? How are I going to think about complimenting my wife more? How am I going to be a better listener? How are you going to call me a queen like Ed calls his wife? And I think that that's another area of self-improvement we're starting to explore, but it's so important to constantly look for that achievement and to self-improve and to work on yourself. I think the moment you get complacent and lazy

is the moment that you start to fall off the pedestal. Oh, bro, that was really good. Like, really, really good good because I think even sometimes I promote two people improving themselves will grow the relationship with them. And I've missed encouraging them to just actually grow the relationship. That was really good right there.

We just talked about it in the car right up here. We're saying it was literally so parallel. We were talking about, we're so focused on self improvement. What about focusing on this relationship and looking Michael started waking up every morning and he changed his wake up time from like six to five and then he was very methodical about his morning routine he writes down his great-fills in his journal he reads his stoicism he does his run he does his workout it's been so great to see him improve that way but

the I said on the car right over, I said, I feel like you're working so much on yourself, and I'm so proud of that, and I want you to do that, but I also need you to put the same effort into our relationship, and I can meet you halfway. It is important, because there's two parts, so you have to improve yourself to be better for your partner, but at the same time you can't just be worried about yourself. You also have to think about the life you're living with that other person, your business partner, your spouse, whoever.

I pray that everyone's still listening and watching right now. It's one of my favorite moments on any show I've ever done. I will get a little bit emotional if I talk about it anymore. We're all gonna cry. It's one of my favorite moments ever on my show because it's never been said before. It's never been expressed before and it's pure, complete, total truth. And it's something that I need to work on. Because I'm constantly working on myself,

and I think you just assume if we both get better, so will the relationship. That's what we were doing. Wow. We literally had this conversation on the ride over. And we looked at each other and we said, oh wait, this is, oh we looked at each other.

I looked at her and I said, they're 100% right, like this, we're so focused on ourselves, but we have to focus on. It's so crazy, because you spend so much time in the gym. You spend so much time on your beauty routine. You spend so much time working on your work and your business. When are you working on your sexual wellness?

When are you working? You know, it's like, those are things that, you can't just like roll over and not, like you have sex, like, to you got to work at it it's a work it's work especially the longer yeah you're with somebody it requires even more intentional focus wow wow wow I almost want to move that to the ferry front of the interview because I'm so fearful I hope everyone is that probably still with us because that was powerful as heck okay last thing I'm by the way I'm so impressed with you both. I'm proud of both of you. Thank you. I hope that I can be in your lives and continue to

help you or begin to help you rather is more correctly stated because I want you in front of the world even bigger than you are. That means a lot coming from you and I just have to say to your audience that you are, I consume your content every single day. I think it provides so much value. Thank you. I mean it can't get better for me. So yeah and you, I told you that I consume it, I be candid with my own audience. I listen to five podcasts and I probably listen to three very regularly and yours is one of them because I learn something every single time. That's what was so wonderful about today.

People are inspired by man, they learned a ton. So the last question, yeah, it's just true. And I think you're just incredible. And I can see you, I'm excited because I'm, I can almost see where you're going. And I can see three more years, five more years. The reach is gonna be unbelievable. And you'll be in all different types of media,

even beyond the space in my view. So the last question is, just general advice for people. There's a lot of people that are watching this that come to the show today in different conditions, different situations. Some of them are winning and they want to pour it on. Some of them are in a great relationship. They're doing well financially. But for the vast majority of people at any given time, there's an area of their life that they're just not feeling great about.

It could be financial relationship, physically, emotionally, and they want to turn that around. They want to make a change. They look at the two of you. They've seen the turnaround of the both of you have made, the progress. I love your vulnerability about not everything is perfect. What advice would you give to Simea? Says, I want to transform an area of my life? What would each of you say if you give a one tip one thing?

I would say that in every single area of your life you have the power to create and design your own future. I talk about designing a strategic future for any area. I think it needs to have the right intention like we talked about from the beginning. You need to write it down. you need to have the vision, but you're in charge. If you're looking for outside people to do things for you and change things for you, it's not going to happen. Like I said, I had $80 in my bank account. I was a bartender.

That was my path. I was going to be a bartender if I sat back. And I really took the reins of my future and decided that I was going to have an intentional future and I mapped it out going to have an intentional future and I mapped it out and I think anyone can do that in any area. So do I. I want to say one thing about that just to be to second it. With all the personal development, all the self-improvement out there, the New York Times

has did an article. One percent of all people have actually written down what they want. One percent in this day and age for one percent of the people even have written down what they want. 1% in this day and age for 1% of the people even have on paper what they want blows my mind so 1 million percent agree with that. Michael, what would you say? I'm an eternal optimist. You can put me in the darkest hole and I'll always look for the speck of light. I think people need to start telling themselves not how bad it is but how good it can be. And if you make that shift and just constantly tell yourself that, and write down your goals and work every single day and put your head down, and be patient and don't give up and

don't tell yourself that it's terrible and it's never going to get better. It's time heals everything, as long as you have an optimistic mindset. There's been so many times in my life where I fell down and out and felt like I was going to fail and I'll make it. And just putting my head down and working and talking to people like you and being inspired to be like my wife and listening to good content and reading good books, surround yourself with positive people. If you have negative people in your life, cut them out, get rid of them and look for that

positive light. Anything that touches life that's negative. Even if it's a personal relationship, your mom, your dad, brother, sister, it's negative, get it out and you'll start to see slowly but surely those positive impacts on your life, it will get better. It can get better. you just have to be willing to look for it. So good brother what was fine angles what does that mean fine. I'm always finding an angle like whenever I do anything I always find so if someone tells me no I've been told no 5,000 times but I've been told guess 500 times take those guesses

leverage it to the next level of people leverage it to the next level of people. Leverage it to the next level of people. I did that with my blog. So many celebrities said no to me. I literally tweeted 1,000 people a day when I first started out. I would say, can I interview you? Most of them would say no, but five of them would say yes. So I would take those five, I would interview them,

and then I would use that as leverage to get my next five. Find angles where you just have to keep going at it. Look at it from a different perspective, have thinking time. And that's an important thing to point out about vulnerability for every yes from an Ed Myled or Jessica Alvar or Amanda Sturning. We have 5,000 nodes from people and that happens all the time. It happened today. It happened this week. Too many people told us, don't start a blog. What the hell is a blog? Don't start a podcast. Why would you do a podcast? Don't do this. That's what I'm saying about optimism. Just to round out what you just said,

when I was a bartender, I was bartending at the super exclusive bar. It was like the richest bar in ranch or Santa Fe. And it was all men. And they would come in and they would kind of treat me like I was sort in Rancho Santa Fe. And it was all men. And they would come in and they would kind of treat me like I was sort of like a wallflower, like I wasn't there, but I was paying attention the whole time. And one day, this old man said to me,

he goes, he goes, what are you gonna do with your life? What are you studying in college? I said, I'm gonna be a blogger. Now this is in 2009. He looked at me and he said, laughed, bellowing laugh. Like, what are you talking about?

You can't make money with that. He was the inventor of the airbag. And the reason I tell this story at the end is because you can't listen to the outside noise. Gosh, it's so true. You gotta keep going. Yeah, and even if it's someone that you think has credibility, because humans aren't right about everything,

just because they've been successful on other, it doesn't mean they're successful on the other, and the other thing you guys just said, people underestimate the absolute force of just massive, shocking, odd effort and work. Knocks out. Literally to max out, thank you, like just throw crazy psycho effort at something over and over and over again

Your will almost destroys the obstacle you to approve of this you built this massive following so last thing Where do they find you for this following you want to go to Instagram's at the best place? The the podcast and her Instagram I think the last thing I'll round it out is you just touch on it is you can study and listen and read all you want But if you don't take massive action and put yourself out there and put yourself in a vulnerable position to potentially fail, then it's not going to happen. Yeah, there's potential failure on the rise and no one's going to protect you from that, but you're guaranteed it if you don't try. Part of the process.

So you want to go to the skinny confidential on Instagram and the skinny confidential him and her podcast. You guys, they're unreal. Okay, I'm just telling you, I know you got tons of value out of today. Thank you, both of you. Thanks. Thank you. I knew. I knew.

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