THE ED MYLETT SHOW - Unlock Your Potential and Achieve the Life You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Episode Date: May 24, 2025

👇 SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL - so this show can reach more people 👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIprGZAdzn3ZqgLmDuibYcw?sub_confirmation=1 Click the Link Below to Subscribe to my emai...l list to MAXOUT your life (all value, no fluff) https://konect.to/edmylett 💥 Get my exclusive Monday Motivation training in GrowthDay, the world’s #1 app for advanced mindset and personal development. Visit https://growthday.com/ed. This show is sponsored by GrowthDay. What if the missing piece to success isn’t what you’re doing—but what you’re experiencing? In this Mashup episode, I share something that changed my life forever—and it’s not talked about nearly enough. I walk you through the real reason so many people never reach their dreams: they’ve never touched them. I’m not talking about vague visualization. I mean putting yourself in the room, the environment, the experience—physically and mentally—so often that your belief catches up to your ambition. I share my early days of scraping together money to stay one night at the Ritz-Carlton, why proximity is power, and how simply walking around dream neighborhoods shifted everything in my identity. I break down the difference between dreaming and believing, and why your mind will not let you live a life it doesn't think you belong in. This episode is about practical steps—things you can do this week, no matter your budget—to physically or mentally "touch" the life you want, over and over again. Because the more familiar it becomes, the more inevitable it feels. I also take on one of the biggest lies being sold to young people today: that there’s no rush. I share why that’s garbage advice, how urgency changed my trajectory in my 20s, and how young people—and their parents—can position themselves for serious growth. I lay out the mindset and practices I used to grow my confidence, leadership, and sense of self-worth when I had nothing but a dream and a car that barely made it to the valet. Finally, I tackle the real danger of haters—but not in the way you think. Most people aren't losing to their critics. They're losing to the time, energy, and emotion wasted trying to get approval. I teach you how to separate feedback from hate, concern from sabotage, and how to know whose voice actually matters.  Key Takeaways: - Why touching your dream—even for one day—can rewire your belief system - How to use environmental triggers to think and plan bigger - The difference between real suffering and false emotional suffering - A practical framework to build confidence by keeping promises to yourself - How to discern between haters, critics, and concerned voices—and what to do with each - The truth about age and ambition—and why starting now is always the best time - Why vision and leadership are the core to igniting anyone’s dream, including your own This one’s personal. I walk you step by step through how I went from dreaming about oceanfront homes to waking up to the sound of waves. I’ve lived this. I know what it feels like to be on the outside of your dreams, and I know how to break through. This episode is your manual. It’s time to stop waiting. It’s time to start touching the life you’ve always wanted. Thank you for watching this video—Please Share it and get the word out! 👇 SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL👇 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIprGZAdzn3ZqgLmDuibYcw?sub_confirmation=1 ▶︎ Visit My WEBSITE | https://www.EdMylett.com #EdMylett #Motivation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 So hey guys, listen, we're all trying to get more productive and the question is how do you find a way to get an edge? I'm a big believer that if you're getting mentoring or you're in an environment that causes growth, a growth-based environment, that you're much more likely to grow and you're going to grow faster and that's why I love Growth Day. Growth Day is an app that my friend Brendan Burchard has created that I'm a big fan of. Write this down growthday.com forward slash ed. So if you want to be more productive, by the way, he's asked me, I post videos in there every single Monday that gets your day off to the right start. He's got about 5,000, $10,000 worth of courses that are in there that come with
Starting point is 00:00:32 the app. Also some of the top influencers in the world are all posting content and they're on a regular basis, like having the Avengers of personal development and business in one app. And I'm honored that he asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis. And I do. So go asked me to be a part of it as well and contribute on a weekly basis, and I do. So go over there and get signed up.
Starting point is 00:00:46 You're gonna get a free, tuition-free voucher to go to an event with Brendan and myself and a bunch of other influencers as well. So you get a free event out of it also. So go to growthday.com forward slash ed. That's growthday.com forward slash ed. There are very few things that you can be certain of in life,
Starting point is 00:01:04 but you can always be sure the sun will rise each morning. You can bet your bottom dollar head. mysteries that life has to offer, a few certainties can really go a long way. Subscribe today for the peace of minds you've been searching for. Public Mobile, different is calling. Hey everyone, welcome to my weekend special. I hope you enjoy the show. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. So today's topic, let's get into it, are secrets. I've been asked, Ed, what's a secret that we don't hear anywhere else that can help me achieve my vision and my dreams for my life? Because there's all these checkmark things you'll hear on podcasts or social media that are wonderful tactics. But Ed, do you have something you could share with us that's almost like a secret of yours that no one else covers? And so I'm going to do that with you today. See, one of the things I'm a big believer in is that you must touch your dreams before you have them in order to make them a reality. You have to touch them, you have to become in proximity to them, you have to become familiar with them. See, in life, we will never exceed what we believe we're worth or we deserve. We'll never get more than we believe we deserve. We will also never acquire or be somewhere we don't believe we belong. And if you're like me, I was raised where when I would see affluent or rich people in their homes or their mansions or their nice cars or even a nice restaurant, heck, even a nice hotel.
Starting point is 00:02:45 I don't know really why it was felt in my family that way, but I always had this sense, we don't belong there. We don't belong there. And then even when I would see super happy families, because many of you know that I grew up with an alcoholic father who eventually got sober, but I remember as a little boy, sometimes wishing I was in another family
Starting point is 00:03:03 because they seemed happy and joyous. And I knew the strife and anxiety and tension that was going on in my home and I remember thinking even as a little boy I really don't belong in those happy houses and I certainly don't belong in those rich hotels or mansions you'll never end up anywhere you don't believe you belong and so what I had to do and I think you're gonna need to do and I think this will be special for you today is you have to begin to condition your brain and condition your spirit into believing you belong in these places. So I want you to write this down. Touch your dreams. It's so important that you touch your dreams because what that does in your life. Think about it this way. Think of someone who's a professional athlete right now. Pick anybody that you admire. LeBron James or, you know, Aaron Judge in baseball or a great golfer like Brooks Koepka, whoever it might be, pick the sport.
Starting point is 00:03:49 One of the things they had the benefit of is playing that sport as a young boy or Serena Williams in tennis, right? Or as a young girl. And what happens is they become familiar in those environments. And so as they go through the ranks and climb and acquire more and more talents and skills, they believe they belong there because they've been on a tennis court a thousand times. They've been on a golf course a thousand times. They've been on a baseball diamond a thousand times or a basketball court. So they didn't have to worry about whether they belonged or whether they touched the dream. They touched every day as they caught a ball, hit it, threw it, dunked it, right, hit a driver. So they actually, over time, spent time in their dream. And as they acquired more talents and skills, it naturally perpetuated them. But most of us, the career we're in, or the mansion we want to get to, or the home we want, or the relationship we want, or the emotions we want to feel, we haven't had the benefit of spending time in those environments. And because we haven't had any time in those environments, even if we acquire the skills and
Starting point is 00:04:49 the talents and the opportunities to get there, if we don't believe we belong there, or we're not familiar with it, we don't end up there. And so what I had to do, and I started doing it pretty young, is I had to begin to condition myself to believe I belonged there by touching my dreams. And so I'm going to talk to you about a couple of different strategies on this that I think are a very, very big deal. See, your mind moves towards, gravitates towards what it's most familiar with. So if it's most familiar with your current environment all the time, it's going to continue to gravitate and attract that environment because you're vibrating at that frequency. It's your most dominant thought. It's your most common circumstance.
Starting point is 00:05:28 And so if you don't do anything to shake that up, to shake the visual picture of your life, what you're touching, feeling, smelling, you, you end up just sort of acquiring skills and you never move out of that environment and get to the dream. So I knew I had to start touching my dreams. And what I did is I would do those. I had to create strategies and I recommend you do some of them cost money. And some of them are completely free. So I know some of your listeners go, listen, I have no money. You don't understand my situation. I'm in debt. I can't do a few of the things you're going to recommend. Don't worry. I'm going to get to some things for you in a minute as well. And then those of you on a limited budget like me, I'm going to talk about spending just a little
Starting point is 00:06:04 bit. Okay, just a little bit. Nothing I'm'm gonna talk about spending just a little bit, okay? Just a little bit. Nothing I'm gonna talk about is mega expensive, okay? So what I did was I was coming up in business. I was used to, I guess what you would probably call a lower middle class lifestyle, okay? And I would see, like I said, these mansions and hotels and cars and happiness even, and think I didn't belong there.
Starting point is 00:06:23 And I became very uncomfortable even thinking about those environments. So I became very uncomfortable even thinking about those environments. So I had to start putting myself in those environments on very short term basis. So what I would do is I was in the sales business. I would create incentives with myself, stay with me. This is very important in your life. I would create incentives with myself where I would say,
Starting point is 00:06:42 hey, okay, Ed, if you make 10 sales this month, whatever it was 10 sales, or you make $5,000, you make $10,000, or you do X or Y. If you do this at the end of the month, you're going to take a one-day break and you're going to go touch your dream. So for example, I lived in Southern California. There was a Ritz Carlton Hotel in Laguna Beach, Dana Point, California, and I used to set these contests up. I couldn't afford to live in the Ritz Carlton or where Laguna Beach, Dana Point, California. And I used to set these contests up. I couldn't afford to live at the Ritz-Carlton
Starting point is 00:07:06 or where those people go. But what I would do is I said, okay, I'm making $7,000 a month. If this month I make 12 sales and I make an extra $2,000 back in that time, I'm gonna take that extra $300 and I'm gonna go spend one night on Saturday night at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel. I would leave my environment.
Starting point is 00:07:24 My wife and I would get in our car. We would drive down to the Ritz-Carlton Hotel. I would leave my environment. My wife and I would get in our car. We would drive down to the Ritz-Carlton. And I remember the first time I got there, not knowing how you even tip the valet. And not even wanting to park my car and bring my car to the front of the hotel because it was a Honda CRX. But I did.
Starting point is 00:07:40 And I rolled up to the Ritz-Carlton and my Honda CRX and I, the valet, I didn't know, do you tip them now? Do you tip them when you come back? So I just tipped them both. I gave him the tip and I remember the first time I watched my wife get out of the car and I went to grab my bag. He said, no Mr. Maillet, we've got your bag. No one had ever done that for me before. It was very awkward for me. I was afraid they're going to take my bag. And then I remember we walked into the lobby and I saw this marble on the floor and the chandelier and I'm like, my gosh, it was overwhelming.
Starting point is 00:08:07 And then checking in, giving him my credit card and hoping I had enough of my credit card for the incidentals on top of the room. And the first time it was a little bit awkward. We stayed there and we were laying out the pool with all these very wealthy people. And we had dinner that night, a decent bottle of wine. And during the daytime, I went and played golf, and I'll talk about that in a minute, my wife went and got a massage, and the whole thing cost me, I don't know, at that time like seven, eight hundred dollars, which was a lot of money to me, but I touched my dream, and then I went back, and it's just different, you drove back, my ideas, my thinking, my vibrational frequency was just slightly different, and I remember thinking, I want to get back there, I can't live where they live, but I can't wait to get back there. And then the next month I said,
Starting point is 00:08:46 if I do X or Y, we'll go back for one night, just one night, we're just gonna taste it. Just a bite. I can't eat the whole steak. I can't afford that. I certainly can't have the whole meal. I certainly can't have the rest of it, but I can have a bite of my dream.
Starting point is 00:08:58 And that's what I'm encouraging you to, I had a bite of my dream. And I'm gonna give you other strategies in a minute that aren't anywhere near that expensive. But I had a bite and it tasted good. And the next month I said if I do six or eight more of these sales I'm going to go there and we're going to do one on a site and I didn't do it and so I didn't go because I didn't want to train my brain that we just go. I had to earn it. I had to do something exceptional to get the reward. I did not want to do it if I so there were many times I set up these
Starting point is 00:09:20 contests myself. I didn't hit them. We didn't go. I went out to my wife, start shopping for deals, look for discounts, look for places to go that aren't that are expensive, but we can get on the cheap. But then I remember about four months later, I hit my number again and we went down there again. Same routine except this time I kind of knew how to handle the valet. And when I walked in, it's a little bit different. Still a little bit awkward, a little uncomfortable. Now laying out at the pool, I kind of knew where the towels were. I knew what drink to get. My wife knew where the spa was.
Starting point is 00:09:51 We didn't have to ask. I knew where the golf course was. And by the way, while I was playing golf, I had a mentor tell me, Ed, rich men play golf. And I remember thinking to myself, I don't even like golf. It's five, six hours. It's boring. I'm not any good. I'm a baseball player. I want some action. Ed, rich men play golf. And I figured out
Starting point is 00:10:09 what that really meant. That was a chance for me to get on a golf course with three or four other guys who were already living like I wanted to live. And I get to spend four or five hours with these people. Even if I didn't know them, like how'd they walk? How'd they talk? How'd they think? What are their problems? What kind of vocabulary do they use? So I would go play golf and she would go to the spa and then we'd have that dinner and at the dinner we would dream about what our life would look like and where we were going to go and I'd say, babe, someday we'll live down here. You know that Ritz Cove that's connected, that community? That's where we're going to live someday right down here in Laguna Beach. There's a community right next to it. And that's a little bit more familiar. And then about four months after that,
Starting point is 00:10:43 we did it again. Except this time, I remember walking in there going, I kind of feel like I belong here. And then I snuck into the gated community and we just drove around. I couldn't get past the guard gate the first time. Then I found a way in. We just walked around and drove around and looked at the homes. And what I was happening is I was just touching my dream and becoming more familiar with it. And as I did this over time, as I did this over time, I started to believe I belonged
Starting point is 00:11:12 there. And as I was acquiring more skills, more abilities, more opportunities, this started to happen as well because I belonged there. I was conditioning myself. I was giving myself a mental rehearsal of what my potential life would look like. And then I remember one time I said, hey, if I hit my numbers this month, let's go out to the desert to Palm Springs area, La Quinta, California. Let's go out to the La Quinta Resort. We went out to the La Quinta Resort. I'll never
Starting point is 00:11:39 forget it. Same routine. I played golf. She went to the massage. We sat around the pool. Same routine. I played golf. She went to the massage. We sat around the pool. Do you know to this day that my two main homes are in Laguna Beach and La Quinta, California? Do you think that's by coincidence? See, over time of touching my dream and getting a bite of it, I became familiar with it. Your mind moves towards what you're most familiar with, what you gravitate towards. Now, I think you need to set up incentives to do it. But I'm going to tell you this changed my life. Now, let's step back and say,
Starting point is 00:12:09 Ed, I don't have the money to do that. Great. Here's what I want you to do. Whatever your dream is. Let's say your dream is something material. Go to a watch store and try on those watches. Once a month. Go do that. Go to the suit place and put the suits on, but don't buy them.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Rent a car for a day. Rent a Lambo for a day. Go do that. Go to the suit place and put the suits on but don't buy them. Rent a car for a day. Rent a Lambo for a day. Rent a Rolls Royce for a day. Something for a day. I'm gonna give you stuff in a minute that costs nothing. Just so you know, I'm going from the expensive thing to the nothing thing. Start to touch your dream. Those of you that are doing a little bit better, one time save up for a year, rent a jet. Instead of taking, by the way, this is the thing I would not do is when I see people with success doing all the time, they take these long vacations. I've never taken a long vacation. I would take one and two day vacations,
Starting point is 00:12:53 Cabo, Laguna Beach, wherever one and two day vacations. Why? I didn't want to lose the momentum in my business, but what would happen, listen to me, when I would get away for a day or two, my environment dictated my thinking. When I got into these other environments, that. When I would get away for a day or two, my environment dictated my thinking. When I got into these other environments, that's when I would dream bigger. That's when I think about my new vision, where I was going, what I wanted to do, what my idea was, what my plan was. People always say, I have a hard time getting my plan together. That's because you're in the same environment. Get out of your environment, go somewhere for a day or two. And by the way, those of you that are trying to climb to success, what are you doing taking one and two and three
Starting point is 00:13:24 week long vacations ever? I'm 52 years old. You know how many week long vacations I've taken in my lifetime? Less than I can count on both hands, maybe less than I can count on one hand. I don't take week and two weeks away. My businesses need me, but I've taken a lot of one in two days, three days, because it's the same juice. I can get the same juice without wringing out
Starting point is 00:13:47 the dang orange all the way. Coming back and there's all these problems, right? So don't take long breaks. You're trying to climb to the top. Let me just let you in on it. Those of us that have climbed to the top, there weren't long vacations. I know you see people on Instagram
Starting point is 00:13:59 when they're European trip. I don't even know how these people got their money. I don't get all that. That's something you do after you're really wealthy. And even after I got really wealthy, I just have no stomach for it. I don't like being away. I love business. I love my bed. I love my life. I live on vacation now. You want to build a great life? Build and have homes where everybody else's vacation someday.
Starting point is 00:14:21 And the way you do that is go touch those dreams one bite at a time every couple months. If you gave yourself the gift a couple times a month, excuse me, a couple times a year, three times a year, six times a year of touching your dream, renting the car, renting the house, right? For a week, for excuse me, for a day, go into the hotel for your dream will think you'll meet people, you'll vibrate differently. Your big thinking comes out. You have a very difficult time changing your thinking in the same environment. It's very difficult to do. So what happened was I was able to change my environment for just 24 or 48 hours. And that's where I would do my big dream and my big thinking, my big strategizing. Plus I'm becoming familiar with the dream. Plus I'm moving towards it. Plus I believe I belong there and your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. So now I'm becoming a little bit
Starting point is 00:15:07 more familiar with this stuff. You starting to get this now you say, Ed, my dreams not material at all. I get it. Most of mine aren't either. So what if once a month or once a quarter, let's say your dream is to serve in your church, have you ever just taken a Wednesday off on a vacation day and serve that your church, your mosque, your temple or your synagogue? Do you know what that would do for your spirit and your soul to touch that dream? Have you ever just taken a day off and spent it doing something that's your dream? Just the day off, you just unplug, you just sit on the beach, right?
Starting point is 00:15:41 If your dream is service, what if you took a day and served at a homeless shelter or a soup kitchen? Right? Or anywhere like that or a women's shelter, whatever it might be. Right? Or you want to get involved in helping people with cancer or there's a charity or something you want to get behind. Take a day and touch that dream. It costs nothing. If you have no money but it's material, drive into the nice neighborhoods, get out and walk around, go to open houses, touch these things. If it's you wish you could be a trainer full time, there's a career you want to do, but you got to pay the bills of the day. Take one day and go do that career. Ask someone if you can for one day get mentored by them. Follow them around the
Starting point is 00:16:21 gym if that's what you want to do. Follow them around the lab. Follow them around the business office. Touch your dream. gym if that's what you want to do. Follow them around the lab. Follow them around the business office. Touch your dream. Now there's these things in my life have changed me. Why? There's also proximity to power. There's proximity to being around power and power is your dream. Power is the people who have those dreams. Those people have the answers, the thoughts, the vocabulary, the vibrational frequency, the relationships. I remember watching these guys playing golf and just how they walked was different than
Starting point is 00:16:49 me. What they talked about was different than me. And not all of them had it, but some of them did. I remember the first one of the first times we were laying out the pool going, wow, people just lay like this and relax. I've never done this in my damn life. I wonder if there's some correlation between this relaxation and being successful. And so do you understand what I'm telling you that an element that's missing in your
Starting point is 00:17:11 life? Listen to me. Is you touching your dream? And then here's the free one of all of them. Mental rehearsal, just visualization of the dream, giving yourself the gift of picturing yourself driving that car, picturing yourself in that church, picturing yourself with that body, picturing yourself in that relationship, picturing yourself with that emotion, mental rehearsal causes you to believe you belong in the dream.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Do you mentally rehearse? How often do you mentally rehearse? Because what's really happening is your visual sphere, your auditory fear, your kinesthetic fear, the things you touch on a regular basis, hear and see are mentally rehearsing the rest of your life for you. So at some point you have to take control of that, override it and actually force yourself to mentally rehearse the things you want in your life. That's a form of touching your dream. It's the lowest vibrational frequency is picturing it, but it's better than not. And if you do it enough times, because dreaming is free, you could do this daily and repeat it.
Starting point is 00:18:16 And if you stack up that enough times, it can be more powerful than touching it for one day a quarter. But imagine if you combine the two, the mental rehearsal in your life of whatever the emotion, the dream, the car, the house, the relationship, the service, the contribution, the memory, the rapid, the repetitious mental rehearsal.
Starting point is 00:18:36 And then once or twice a year, four or five times a year, you go touch your dream on a budget or even not on a budget, you drive the neighborhood, you try on the watch, you try on the shoes, you try on. Listen to me, these things matter. You put yourself in these environments, you go have dinner at, you know, a lot of people go, we go out to dinner every single week, once a week. Let's just say you do that. Okay. What if you just went once a month, but you went to the place you'd like to go the rest of your life. So you saved the
Starting point is 00:19:01 money from those three meals that you don't go. And on the fourth one, you go to the place you'd like to be and get to touch the dream. You starting to see what I'm saying? Some of you that are a little bit further along, you'll give yourself a gift. You got a couple of bucks. Have a night where you don't go out and you have a chef come cook for you. And I know that some of these things are things that not so many of you are nowhere near ready to do. Remember what I just said. I started out by driving the neighborhoods for free. Just getting into the neighborhood. I couldn't even get into the houses. I couldn't even get through the gates. And then that graduated to one night at a hotel near those neighborhoods.
Starting point is 00:19:35 But where it really started was the mental rehearsal. Ed Mylet had to convince himself he belonged in his dreams. Ed Mylet had to become familiar with these dreams by touching them mentally, physically, and actually auditory as well. I remember the first time we didn't get when we would go to the Ritz-Carlton, we would always get the cheap garden room. And I remember about two years into doing it, I go, we're gonna get the oceanfront. And I'll never forget the first time when I woke up and I could hear the waves crashing. Actually, I went to sleep. Frankly, the waves were so foreign to me that I had a hard time sleeping with the noise. But I remember
Starting point is 00:20:14 waking up and I opened the door on our balcony. This is two years into doing this. I opened the door on our balcony and I went, oh wow, this is a different morning. You wake up here in the ocean waves and feeling that breeze and that smell of the salt water. I belong here. I want this. And it incentivized me to work a thousand times harder had I not experienced it. Somehow this starts to change our desire level as well. And so you start mixing all this together, you got a little bit of a recipe.
Starting point is 00:20:47 So let me ask you today, doesn't cost you anything to dream and mentally rehearse. Are you willing to do that? Number one, whatever it is, material or not material. Number two, are you willing to start setting up some incentives with yourself or just start saving for that once a quarter, once a month, twice a year experience for a day or two, where you touch your dream. Third, if it's service oriented, are you willing to take off a day, a quarter and go serve in your church or your synagogue or your temple? Whatever it might be. Are you willing to go try these things on? Maybe rent a car for a day? Are
Starting point is 00:21:23 you willing to do that? Are you willing to touch your dream to some extent? You have to bite the steak before you can eat the whole thing. And this is an element not talked about. Now, if you have the opportunity, you acquire the talents and the skills, I'm telling you become an unstoppable force. So my challenge to you today is,
Starting point is 00:21:41 are you willing to make any of these adjustments to your life game? Worst case scenario, drive your car somewhere, it's free, and walk around where your dream exists. Walk where it exists. Maybe your dream is to live in New York City, right? You live in the suburbs of New Jersey, get in your dad gum car, or take a cab and get over there and just walk around and touch it, see it, smell it. And what has to happen is you build something called sensory acuity. And this sensory acuity makes your senses more acute. And then in your everyday life, you begin to see people, places and things that deliver on that dream that you're now familiar with.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Here's the truth. Last thing I'll tell you, if you continue to live unfamiliar with your dream, you will die unfamiliar with it. But if you begin to familiarize yourself with your dream, with mental rehearsal, or physical touch, or the actual experience of doing it on short term basis, there's a high probability that when you are at the end of your life, you will have lived that dream. Why is it so important to achieve your dreams? Because your dreams are not a joke. Your dreams are not a hallucination. See, I believe God gives you your dreams as a preview as to what's possible in your life. These are the possibilities. That's why these dreams are in your heart. This is what's possible for you. It doesn't mean it's going to happen. It doesn't even mean it's probable. Here's what's possible. And what I believe is you take possibility
Starting point is 00:23:10 to probability by repetition, mental rehearsal and conditioning. All I did is have dreams of what was possible. The difference with me, I believe now that I'm 52 years old on the other side of it, obviously with all the hard work, but you know what spurred the hard work belief I belong there. At some point, if you don't believe you belong there, you stop catching those ground balls. You stop hitting those home runs. You stop swinging those golf clubs and practice. At some point, you got to believe you belong there to make those phone calls, eat the right diet, make the contacts, whatever that thing is in your life. You have to have the desire level on the hard work. And I believe the hard work only long term
Starting point is 00:23:44 comes from believing you belong there. And when your entire environment and all the people around you on a daily basis don't reinforce that and don't condition it, you must override it in short term bites. But if you do, these things that God's given you as possibilities of your life become probabilities. And then you become what I call an impossibility achiever and in my life I feel like I've become an impossibility achiever what most people think is impossible I got the recipe for I start envisioning it then I start touching it then I start experiencing it then I start believing I belong there then I become familiar with it and then I have it that's the deal I want to talk to all the young people out there including
Starting point is 00:24:25 their parents who asked me so many questions about are the things I could be doing with my children to position them for success as they get older and for you young people out there that are constantly messaging me about wanting to be an entrepreneur or wanting to be successful or just wanting to be happier in your life. I want to dispel one thing that I hear other influencers say out there in social media or on YouTube that could not be more wrong, which is telling young people all the time to just be patient. Enjoy your teens.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Enjoy your 20s. You've got forever. You're going to live to 130. There's no reason to get so worried about being successful now. And I've got to tell you, that is the most ridiculous advice. I don't care how many followers the person has that's telling you this, they could not be more wrong. It's ridiculous and it's nonsense.
Starting point is 00:25:08 There's no reason simply because of your age that you should not be after it, that you can't be hustling, that you can't become successful. Is it 18? Is it 28? Is it 38? It's ridiculous because there isn't a number. If you've got the desire to win, if you want to be somebody, if you want to make your dreams come true, I don't care if you're 12 years old or 82 years old, your age is irrelevant.
Starting point is 00:25:29 It's a form of ageism to tell a young person just be patient. If you're like me, my mom and my dad didn't give me a business. I didn't start on second or third base like some of these people that are telling you somehow to be patient. I had to pick myself up by my bootstraps and make something of my life and frankly the sooner you get going, the sooner you start working on yourself, the sooner you make progress, the sooner you're going to get there and enjoy your life. And so don't listen to that crap.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Think about this, when I was in my 20s, I made six figures early in my 20s. By the time I was 30, I was making seven figures. By the time I was 40, I was earning an eight figure incomeure income what if somebody told me I cool it be patient don't worry about it my entire life would be different I wouldn't be looking at the ocean live in oceanfront now or flying on my jet or taking care of my parents or having multiple homes living on the lake having multiple boats multiple cars whatever the material things are donating to the charities that I want and I listen to that absurd, ridiculous, stupid advice.
Starting point is 00:26:26 So please don't listen to those people who tell you that. They have good intentions. They're talking about not putting pressure on yourself. You've got all kinds of time. The truth is a little pressure is probably pretty good for you. Think about this. Steve Jobs was in his 20s and teens when he started. Bill Gates, Mark Cuban, Kylie Jenner, any entrepreneur that's out there today that you know pretty well, most of them started young. Jay-Z started young. LeBron James started young.
Starting point is 00:26:51 Why is it that you can't start young? Steve Jobs did, I did, Cuban did, Bill Gates did. There's thousands of entrepreneurs. In fact, the list of billionaires in the country gets younger every single year, as do the millionaires. You wanna know why? Because of these things right here. Technology, your phone, your iPad, social media allows people at any age to win, including preteen and
Starting point is 00:27:14 teenagers. And so please, parents, don't hold your kids back if they want to grow. Now, now that we can get rid of that myth, what should I be working on? Well, the first thing is this. I think you need to start to read books on persuasion and influence and when you're watching social media or YouTube or listening to audio, somebody like myself, study their style, study how they roll their words out, their vocabulary, begin to model them and then modify to your style. Model and modify.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Model people and then modify. It's going to be your ability to persuade people, to influence people, to cast a vision, to transfer energy at any age of your life that's going to determine how far you go. So start to study the great communicators. That's number one. Begin at any age to have your children or if you're one of those kids listening to this young people, begin the process of setting goals early. Right now begin to set goals and achieve them.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Write down your outcomes. Right? Third, begin to work on personal development. Read some books. Read Max Out Your Life, my book. Go to maxoutbook.com. Read that book. There are other great books out there by many people that you can begin to read around your school books or in the summertime on personal development, on personal growth, on influence, on persuasion, on leadership. Begin to feed yourself these great books, these great thoughts early in your life and it will change things. Begin to think about and work on what am I gifted at, what am I good at, what am I passionate
Starting point is 00:28:36 at, how could I turn that into a business, how could I turn that into a cause, what are some of my natural gifts and blessings and how do I leverage those into solving other people's problems. Great solving other people's problems? Great businesses solve people's problems. How can my gifts, my blessings turn into a business that can solve people's problems? The next step is being a leader. You have to decide that you want to lead. You have to step forward.
Starting point is 00:28:58 That means not being like everybody else in your school. I don't care if you're in sixth grade or you're in college right now. It's being a leader. It's not being one of the guys. It's not being part of the pack. It's being different than other people. It's thinking different than other people. It's learning early in life that other people's approval, your friends, your buddies liking everything you do and believing in everything you do is not going to get you where you want in life. It's being a leader. It's
Starting point is 00:29:21 being a visionary. It's being unique. It's stepping out. And when you're young, you're gonna take criticism for it. You're gonna take flack for being different, for not going with the flow, for not drinking with everybody, or smoking weed with everybody. Stay away from those things when you're young. Stay away from them when you're old if you can. These are not the practices of people that win. Let everybody else smoke and do drugs and smoke weed and get in trouble and go down that path and you lead. You step out. You be different. You be extraordinary and you be proud of the fact that you're different. The next thing is you've got to work on your
Starting point is 00:29:54 self-confidence, right? You've got to become more confident. You know when you're listening to something you don't have enough of. Self-confidence is the process, listen to me, of keeping the promises that you make to yourself. When you begin to make a promise, I'm going to get up at a certain time, or I'm going to clean my room, I'm going to get a certain grade, I'm going to study, I'm going to do something, deliver on the promise you make to yourself. Not what you promise your parents, or you promise your friends, what you promise you. When you begin to stack what you promise yourself and you deliver on it, you begin to build
Starting point is 00:30:21 a reputation with yourself that you can trust you, and that will serve you the rest of your life when you trust and you like you. That's self-confidence. Keep the promises you make to yourself. The next part is start to work on your self-worth, your identity, which is different than just your confidence. Self-worth means I deserve this, I'm worth this, and that comes from doing the hard work, that comes from being unique. It comes from noticing it when you're a leader, noticing it when you do things other people don't do, noticing it when you turn away from bullying somebody and you're the kind one, or you interrupt someone who's bullying and you stop it, or you step up in a situation and you lead and you do the right thing and you begin to realize you're different. You're unique. You're special your
Starting point is 00:31:06 Self-worth begins to change and you believe over the time in your life. I deserve to win I deserve to be different. The next thing is this You got to take some steps you got to take some actions make some mistakes fall down allow yourself to fail Failure is only failure if you don't learn something from it. But the younger you are and the sooner you begin to take action and allow yourself to learn and get experience, the stronger you become. If you stack experience onto self-worth, onto self-confidence, you have a formula that is going to separate you from everybody. So what is it that you love?
Starting point is 00:31:41 Is it sports? Is it music? Is it business? What are some of your gifts? Is it your ability to speak, listen, your math skills, your kindness, your humor, your beauty, your intensity, your passion, your ability to learn, your ability to teach, right? Your programming skills. Maybe it's you thinking creatively, thinking strategically. Maybe it's just hard work, but what are you gifted with and begin to leverage those gifts and talents? Towards your goals and dreams and you'll be much happier and the next thing is this
Starting point is 00:32:13 Dream I want you dreaming. I want you picturing your life. I live oceanfront here when I was a little boy I used to walk on this beach and say someday we're gonna live there someday I'm gonna have that house there was nothing in my family that told me we should live somewhere like this. My family were big dreamers, they're just good people doing good things in their life, but no one thought about owning jets or multiple homes or the beach, but I started dreaming. I started thinking big. I'm standing on the beach, my home is right up there, and this entire process started with just a thought in my mind of living here.
Starting point is 00:32:47 When I was much younger, I walked on this beach with my then-girlfriend, and I began to think about living here one day, and it opened a space in my mind as a young man about what it would be like to live ocean front. I didn't know who these people were that lived here. I didn't know how they got here. That wasn't important. What happened was I thought, I had the thought about living here someday, the dream, and it created a space that didn't exist with me before I had that thought. And then over time in my life, I went to work on finding the people, the places, the things, and the resources to make this thought a reality. Just like the chair you're sitting in started with a thought, all of the details, the fabric, the seat,
Starting point is 00:33:22 the structure became real. This beach house, me living here, just started with a thought, and it created a whole new space in my life, whole new set of possibilities that over time I filled in to make a reality, just like you can if you think those big thoughts. I started to think about what I wanted my life to look like. Ultimately, if you don't take control about what you think about, you don't begin to dream and picture your life for what you want, the rest of the world is going to dictate to you who you turn out to be.
Starting point is 00:33:48 But if you start to stack, man, I've got self-confidence, right? I'm a leader. I've got the ability to persuade. I've got self-worth. I'm taking these actions. And then you start to really get a clear picture and a clear dream using your blessings and your gifts. You've got such a chance to do something great. And here's the good news, you don't have to be any age to do that.
Starting point is 00:34:08 You don't have to be 30 or 40, there's not some magic number. It's you, you're the magic and this time can be yours. Start to get that experience. Always be positive, stay away from negative people. Next thing, be careful who you associate with. Don't allow negative people in your circle. You're going to become the four or five people you hang around the most.
Starting point is 00:34:27 Make sure you're hanging around positive and growth-oriented people who also wanna make their dreams come true. Because as you get older in life, your parents will tell you, or you parents can tell your children. It's what separates us, is who we associate with. So I wanna challenge you, read, pray about it
Starting point is 00:34:42 if you're a praying person. Ask God to join you in your business. And believe me when I tell you, anything is possible at any age, at any time, if you stack up some of the things we've talked about today. There's tons more stuff that I'll be covering on this channel, but I want to give you permission now at this age to win. Don't listen to the people who tell you you can't do it at this age or you should be patient. Get your hustle on now.
Starting point is 00:35:03 Start making progress now. And where you could go is magic. The difference in your life, the direction, the places you can go, when you start taking action and dreaming big, it's magic. It's magnificent. When I was young, I walked this very beach and I told myself someday I'm gonna live there. I didn't know how I was gonna do it and for right now that's not the most important thing. The most important thing is to get that brain of yours and that heart of yours, that spirit of yours, dreaming about the big things you want in your life.
Starting point is 00:35:30 And at your age, if you're young, if you're a parent of a young person, don't hold back. Think huge. Think big about what you want in your life. And the more specific it is, the more likely it is to happen. So I want to challenge you. Where do you want to live? Who do you want to be someday? What are the specific places? And dream big and touch your dreams if you can. And the more you get specific about what you want, the more you begin to really think about it and touch it and feel it at a young age, it just gives you that advantage on doing it younger. I mean, wouldn't you rather be wealthy young than wait until you're much older to be wealthy? And so I want to
Starting point is 00:36:01 challenge you, go touch your dreams, go see the things you want, start dreaming bigger right now, and the more you can go see them and touch them and read magazines and social media about them or physically go to those places, the more likely it is to happen. There's gonna be moments of your life that just take your breath away because you can't believe how far you've come and then you're gonna go even further and further and further. I want to challenge you to do that now at any age you can do it. Max out. news there. Everything has spin today. It's really difficult. I'll listen to a story like, oh my gosh, they're completely doing this. Then you hear the backstory on another channel, you're like, wait a minute, that's totally not true. Everywhere we look, there's spin
Starting point is 00:36:51 in the news. It's unbelievable. So if you want to be more aware of where your news is coming from, welcome to Ground News. It helps cut through all the spin and clutter and noise. Ground News gathers related articles from around the world in one place with context about the sources, political leaning, reliability and ownership. Go to groundnews.com slash my let today. They get 40% off the ground news vantage plan and get access to all of their news analysis features. That's groundnews.com for 40% off the ground news vantage plan for a limited time
Starting point is 00:37:23 only groundnew news.com Mylet this show is sponsored by better help 26% of Americans who participate in a recent survey say they've avoided seeking mental health support due to fear of judgment When people hesitate to get help, it doesn't just affect them It impacts families workplaces and entire communities this mental health awareness month Let's encourage everyone to take care of their wellbeing and break the stigma. The world is better when people are healthy and happy.
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Starting point is 00:38:16 Visit betterhelp.com slash ed show to get 10% off your first month. That's better help. H EE-L-P dot com slash Ed Show. Today's show is sponsored by Strawberry.me. So you know this, I'm a big believer in coaching, especially when it's from a reliable source. And I think most people should have some interaction with somebody who's helping them get better in their life. So if you're waking up every day and you know you're capable of a little bit more, but you're not really sure how to get there. Listen, success doesn't just happen. Most successful people in the world don't figure it out on their own. They have a
Starting point is 00:38:47 coach, they have mentors, they got coaches, they have people guiding them every step of the way. That's where strawberry.me personal coaching comes in. You'll identify your obstacles that are holding you back, you'll develop a step-by-step plan, take action and confidence, you can be held accountable if you want to. Knowing you have a dedicated support staff, a coach behind you every step of the way. Instead of relying on guest work or waiting for the right time, I've had a personal coach for a long time and it's helped me tremendously in my life. You know, I love that Chinese proverb, if you want to know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
Starting point is 00:39:16 That's what a coach can do for you. They've got the directions many times in your life. Go to strawberry.me slash ed and claim your $50 credit. That's strawberry.me slash ed. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett Show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way.
Starting point is 00:39:39 This concept of haters, we've all heard about this. What do I do with my haters? How do you respond to haters? How do I overcome that? They're stealing my dream, right? And so, and there's all this advice out there. Drown out the haters. Don't listen to the hate. Don't let them take your dreams away. And that is certainly important. And when someone fits that category, you need to eliminate them from your life and discard the information that they give you. But here's the truth,
Starting point is 00:40:05 it's getting a little bit overcooked out there. The fact of the matter is not everybody who is giving you feedback is necessarily a hater or necessarily antagonistic to you. See, sometimes they're just giving you feedback. Sometimes they're just concerned and other times it's just criticism. You need to learn to distinguish between criticism, concern, and feedback and they are three completely different things. It's very easy isn't it to just sluff off when someone's giving us feedback or are concerned about us. Ah they're a hater, you're just hating on me. You probably even had somebody say that to you who you've been concerned with or concerned for or that you're giving feedback to. How do we
Starting point is 00:40:47 ever get better if we don't listen to feedback from people? How do we ever get better if we don't listen to their concerns? How do we get better if we don't listen to criticism? Criticism is not necessarily a negative thing and how you respond to criticism we're gonna talk about in a minute may literally be the determining factor in that whether or not you become successful or to the extent that you do. So I'll be the first person to tell you there are haters out there, but I'm also going to really be the first person to tell you that not everybody who's giving you correction is a hater and it's far too easy and rather weak to just slough them off as a hater.
Starting point is 00:41:24 We've built into this culture today, haven't we? Let's be real, that anyone who tells us something we don't feel good about hearing because it's painful to hear, they're a hater. Don't listen to them. And that may be the number one impediment to you growing or the people around you growing is that nobody listens to feedback anymore. Nobody wants to hear things that are uncomfortable about themselves, about their behavior, about their conduct, about their business. So the thing you have to ask yourself, is this person antagonistic to me?
Starting point is 00:41:53 That's the first filter their feedback must come through. There are many people in your life who are not antagonistic towards you or to your success. In fact, they'd love to see you succeed, but they're observing things that they're concerned about. For example, when I started out in my business career, I remember my parents being very concerned for me that I was making a bad choice, right? That I wasn't using my college degree that I had worked so hard to get. They weren't haters. My parents weren't haters. They were concerned. I was best and I did respond to their concerns as best
Starting point is 00:42:27 I could but I didn't sloughed it off. I listened to it and then I put it in the category it belonged to. I've also have people daily giving me feedback on how I can do something better or where my performance didn't measure up or a different tactic or direction or strategy or approach they think I ought to take. These people are not haters of mine, they're trying to help me get better. And in your life you have to distinguish between these people because many of us today we're just sloughing it all off into the hater category. And then you know what? There are people who are giving me criticism, constructive criticism. Hey man, wake up. You keep going down this path, you keep making that choice, you keep making that choice,
Starting point is 00:43:05 you keep repeating this mistake, you're going to a path to nowhere. And so, distinguish between haters who are, and here's how you know, they are antagonistic, they are rooting against you. Your success and your progress is a threat to them because they're not growing,
Starting point is 00:43:21 they're not succeeding, and they're being average. That's an antagonistic person, that's a hater, and so you need to be able to make this decision. When in doubt, they're not one by the way, but there are going to be people, lots of people, that your growth, your change, the transformation you're going through threatens them. It threatens their very existence. They think you may leave them. They think you're gonna outgrow them. It exposes their lack of growth, their lack of progress. You need to understand who they are. You need to react accordingly. You don't listen to them,
Starting point is 00:43:51 and in some cases they need to be removed from your life. And if they're not removed from your life, the emotions attached to what they think, feel, and say are removed, and you don't listen to anything they have to say. Those are haters. But then there are people who are giving you criticism and the people that I know in my life that are the most successful want criticism. They want feedback and they appreciate some concern. And so ask yourself, was this person giving me criticism and if they did, how did you respond to it? Did you make the course correction? Did you repeat the mistake again? Is this something that if you don't improve it, it's going to hold you back from your success? And do they have your best interest in mind? The second part is someone's concern for you. Maybe they
Starting point is 00:44:30 love you. Maybe it's just that they love you and they're concerned, right? And we're going to talk about this in a minute. Love them back. Continue progress. Continue to go towards your dream, but don't categorize them as haters. Don't become antagonistic towards them when they're not towards you. This starts to happen. We start to have these relationships in our life because of this hater culture. We all believe everyone's a hater.
Starting point is 00:44:53 We start to have people who love us, who are just concerned for us. We begin to move them out of our life because we can't distinguish or you don't distinguish between the fact that they love you when they're concerned or they're hating on you. There's a big difference between those. And so maybe're concerned or they're hating on you. There's a big difference between those and so maybe it's just they're worried for you and maybe they're wrong and you can love them as they're wrong
Starting point is 00:45:12 but treating them as a hater is completely different than loving them back and moving on anyway. And then there's those that give you feedback and feedback is, hey here's what I noticed, be careful about this, this is an observation of mine, maybe you want to go this direction, here's what I noticed. Be careful about this. This is an observation of mine. Maybe you want to go this direction. Here's someone you ought to meet. Here's a decision you better be avoiding. Here's a mistake I've made myself. Don't make the same one. And that's feedback. So, distinguish between those three places. And the way we do it is their intentions. Now sometimes in our lives we don't know. These haters out there, they exist, believe me. I have them all over the place.
Starting point is 00:45:43 I've had them all my life. Some of the haters in your life are the best at trying to pretend to be concerned, aren't they? I'm so concerned for you as they're really rooting against you. They're pretending to give you criticism as they tear you down. They're pretending to give you feedback only to lead you in the wrong direction so you lose. And so, yes, it's a difficult line to toe because haters, the real
Starting point is 00:46:05 haters, know how to pose as critics. They know how to pose as concern. They know how to pose as giving you feedback. And so it's your ability to distinguish between these two people that's gonna have everything to do with whether you succeed. Keeping the haters in your life around you and letting their feedback and criticism and their insults and their fake concern for you affect you in a negative way could steal your dream. And they are dream stealers every single time. Having said that, what might also kill your dream is you not embracing the people who
Starting point is 00:46:39 are concerned that love you and loving them back and getting the wrong people leaving your life or wrong people at a distance and not having the people around you who love you still close to you because we're gonna talk about in a minute how to win anyway and if you're not listening to criticism and responding to it you can never adjust and if you're not being open to feedback you can't improve and so this is a very important thing nobody talks about. So let's get to the root here. We know the difference is whether they're intentionally antagonistic to us. Who should I listen to them? Who should I take feedback from? Whose criticism is worthy of adjusting to? And here's how I've always measured it. More dreams are stolen by haters,
Starting point is 00:47:19 critics, concerned people, and also people who give us feedback than anywhere in the world. In other words, even though the person who's giving you feedback has positive intentions, they can still steal your dream. See what I do is I wrap them all up in this category of dream stealers. They all can steal our dream. See, your parents who are concerned for you may not be haters but they can still steal your dream because you may be doing it just for them. Your spouse may not be a hater but they can still steal the dream, right? Your friends who are concerned for you or give you feedback, they may not be haters, but guess what? They can still steal your dream. So let me give you some counsel
Starting point is 00:47:55 that's helped me in my life. Who do I listen to? My rule is always this. I listen to somebody who's successful in the area they're giving me counsel in, only. In other words, you may have a loving mother or father who are unbelievable at being parents or at raising children, but never became successful in business. I would submit to you that you should be taking advice and counsel from those people on parenting and raising a family, but not in business. Furthermore, you could have somebody that's a great business mentor of yours
Starting point is 00:48:29 who can give you great feedback, great counsel in business, but I wouldn't take their advice in parenting if they've been divorced three times. See, the mistake that people make is they don't distinguish between who the haters are and the others are, and then the bigger mistake is I see people every day who have their business dreams stolen because they took the counsel, the feedback, the criticism, and the concern
Starting point is 00:48:51 maybe not of a hater but of someone who's never been successful in business before. So you're gonna let someone steal your business dream who never built a business dream of their own. This happens every single day. If someone's not successful in business, why in the world would you ever let their hating, their criticism, their feedback, or their concern impact you in any way? They don't belong in that category. That doesn't mean they're not a valuable person. If you go back to the people that love you, they may not be haters. They may not be rooting against you, although some of them are, but the ones that aren't, be very careful of taking their advice in an area they're not successful. Furthermore,
Starting point is 00:49:30 if you wanted to get in great shape and you were trying to go on this new nutrition plan, a new diet plan, why in the world would you take advice from somebody who tells you, ah this doesn't work? I read keto doesn't work, I read you can't do traditional weightlifting, you got to do aerobic exercise. You start taking advice from somebody who's not even in great shape, who's not even fit, and they steal your fitness dream. This is true in every single area. Take counsel from people who are successful in the area you're trying to be successful in. You have to compartmentalize success. Is it not true that you know people that are in incredible shape but are
Starting point is 00:50:05 a mess financially? Why would you listen to your trainer if they're broke about how to get rich financially? Why would you listen to the financial person about how to get in great shape unless they're also in great shape? Why would you take counsel from fools in areas where they're fools? So too often I think what we're doing is we're trying to decide whether someone's intentions are good or bad and we don't take the veil off. It's just whether or not they're successful. You know what you'll find out?
Starting point is 00:50:35 If you meet a mega successful entrepreneur and you approach them with about a goal and a dream you have, more likely than not they're gonna tell you to go for it. Entrepreneurs are some of the most optimistic because they've been successful somewhere. They believe you can be as well. If you ever meet somebody who's really fit, and you ask them, can I get strong?
Starting point is 00:50:52 Can I get fit? Can I get healthy? Nine times out of 10, that fit and healthy person is going to be the number one person to say, yes, you can, to encourage you to do it. The biggest thing I always look at is, when I'm getting feedback, criticism, concern, or hate from somebody, how are they doing in that area?
Starting point is 00:51:10 And what you find out most of the time is that if they're not winning in that area, their feedback means nothing. Their concern shouldn't impact you, and their criticism is invalid. Now if they're super successful in that area, maybe you ought to be more open to their criticism. Maybe you ought to listen to their feedback and maybe their concern is valid. Then again, maybe they're hating on you, but probably not. The fact of the matter is most people that win, they don't have any reason to hate on what you're doing because winners want to see more people
Starting point is 00:51:40 win. Winners want to see more people prosper. And so be very careful about what you think is a hater and who you think isn't. But more importantly, don't take counsel from fools. I'm not saying the person is foolish in every area, they're just foolish in that area. Don't listen to them in that aspect of your life. And so why this matters so much is because it's where we expense our energy, right? Like for me, I want good feedback. I'd like some criticism and I appreciate concern, but I don't expend a lot of energy worrying about it. So many people expend so much energy on the emotion of what other people think
Starting point is 00:52:15 about them. In fact, the number one thing probably killing your dream isn't your hater, isn't the feedback, isn't the criticism, isn't the concern. It's the energy you expense and expand by worrying so much. It's your addiction to other people's approval that will ultimately kill your dream. You're addicted to what other people think about you. And the issue is this, that's actually the symptom. The symptom is I'm so addicted to what other people think about me. The disease is lack of self-confidence in ourselves, lack of identity, which is why I've spent so much time
Starting point is 00:52:48 in the previous audios and videos trying to build up your identity, build up your self-confidence, so this addiction to what other people think about you is eliminated or reduced in your life. The fact of the matter is this, what other people think about you is none of your business. It's none of your business. And here's the truth, you wanna know the truth? They're people think about you is none of your business. It's none of your business.
Starting point is 00:53:05 And here's the truth. You want to know the truth? They're not thinking about you. They're thinking about what you're thinking about them. They're doing the same thing you do. And let me tell you something about these haters. What most people do is they project onto other people the things they dislike about themselves the most.
Starting point is 00:53:23 So they acknowledge it. If you remember in a previous video, an audio, I said to you, if you're having a hard time discovering what your giftedness and purpose is, look at somebody you admire, your hero, and what are the three or four things about them that you admire the most because you see in them the giftedness that you see in yourself. So if your hero is Dr. Martin Luther King and it was how much his concern was for other people or his vision and his dream or his ability to articulate or to bring people together or to not see color,
Starting point is 00:53:51 whatever that thing is that you see in him, I can tell you that the reason that you admire it, the reason that he was your hero, is because you see some of those similar gifts in you that you can apply in a different place. And so we see in our heroes the things that are our true giftedness. We criticize in others what are the things we hate about ourselves the most.
Starting point is 00:54:13 And so most of the time when someone is hating on you, they are projecting on you, oh she thinks she's so incredible, she just wants people to like her, he's all about the money, he just wants people to like him, all he does is work. Whatever it is, they're projecting onto you the weaknesses and negative things they see in themselves. Either they don't work hard so they criticize you for working hard, or they also would love other people's attention and success but they can't get it so they criticize you for it. Remember, most of the criticism you receive from people is them projecting onto you that which they don't like about themselves. And so when you know this, that most people aren't thinking about you, they're thinking
Starting point is 00:54:52 about them. And even when they're talking about you, they're thinking about them. The words out of their mouth are about you, but what they're really thinking about is them. The more you begin to understand this, you really stop spending so much energy on worrying about what other people think about them. The more you begin to understand this, you really stop spending so much energy on worrying about what other people think about you. The more you love yourself, the more you believe in yourself, the more you focus on your own intention, the more you build up your own identity, the less you have concern with getting that acknowledgement and recognition from other people. In other words, your own acknowledgement, your own character, your
Starting point is 00:55:23 own belief in yourself supersedes what anyone else could ever say about you. It is a sad existence on earth and will eventually lead, in my opinion, to an unfulfilling life if everything is about what other people think about you. I had a specific audio and video where I suggested to you that you are not your possessions, you are not your achievements, you are not what you look like, and you are not what other people say you are. When you can begin to own that, you start to piece together all of the trainings I've put together for you from self-confidence to transferring energy to eliminating self-doubt
Starting point is 00:55:58 to vision, all the things we've been covering here. And when you begin to piece all of this together, you begin to have the picture of how to deal with haters. You must distinguish between who is and isn't one. You must only take counsel and feedback from people that are successful in that specific sector of their lives. You have to know when someone's hating on you they're really hating on them. That is a fact I can promise you. I can promise you when you're hearing someone gossip about other people they're typically projecting onto them and talking about things about themselves that they hate, that they despise, that they wish they could improve.
Starting point is 00:56:32 But rather than have the courage to improve their own life, they'd rather just tear down and criticize others. There's this great saying that says, you don't build the tallest building in town by tearing down everybody else's, you build it by building the tallest building. So what are a couple final tips you could use to help you deal with haters or at least respond favorably to improve from criticism, feedback, and concern? First thing is this, is this person antagonistic to my success? Are they antagonistic toward me? Are they rooting against me?
Starting point is 00:56:59 You have to ask yourself that. If they're rooting against you and they really just want to see you lose, they're pretending to be concerned, they're posing as a critic, they're posing as giving you feedback, then this is something that you just completely eliminate from your life. This is someone who should not be in your space, they should not be in your life, they should at least not be in your proximity. That's number one. Number two, you have to be self-aware.
Starting point is 00:57:21 Do a self-audit to ask yourself this piece of information, this feedback, this criticism, this concern. If I implemented it and made this adjustment, would I get closer to my outcome? Would I get closer to my goal? Does it serve me to do so? The third thing is, can you compound the effect of what they've given you? In other words, I believe in this concept
Starting point is 00:57:39 I call compound pounding. Compound pounding. What it means is we underestimate the relentless pursuit of something over and over again and its impact on us. So for example, there's these great rock outclaves that happen right here in the ocean. And that is from the ocean just compound pounding on those rocks. They formed a whole new structure. They've broken the rock down over time. The wave after wave pounding and pounding and pounding against the rock compounding its effect over time. Most people never measure or calibrate the
Starting point is 00:58:14 power of compound pounding in their life. In other words, letting their efforts multiply, letting their efforts compound. If I took this feedback, if I took this criticism, if I took this information and I decide that yes, if I applied it I could improve, it's measuring and having some belief that there's this compound effort over time, that this little course correction over time directs us in a completely different place eventually in our life. Most people don't give themselves credit for compound pounding, which leads to point four. It's lack of vision in people's lives. Most people, when they're getting feedback,
Starting point is 00:58:51 they're not obsessed enough with the long-term vision of where they're going. They don't stay focused on that clear picture of where they're going, and they let this side noise, this side feedback, this side criticism distract them from where they're going. You can never let go of the big picture. Most people, by the way, lack vision and they will lose because of this lack of vision and it's not what you would think. It's not the lack of vision where they don't see the place they want to go.
Starting point is 00:59:17 Let me tell you what it is for most people. You ready? They have a depth perception issue. They kind of know what they'd like, they'd like the big picture, but they constantly think they're further away than they are. They think it's much further away to get to this place. They've overestimated how long it will take to get there and so they act like it. It's kind of like this, if we had a race and I think the race is 60 yards
Starting point is 00:59:42 and you think it's 60 miles, is there a different pace we both start out the race running? If I think it's 60 yards, I'm off and I'm going because the finish line is that close. So I behave in such a way is that the finish line's that close. If you think it's 60 miles away, your pace is different, your cadence is different, your ability to be distracted or your inability to stay focused, better said, on the finish line happens because you have this depth perception issue everything is off in the future to you everything is so far away People that win shrink it we've talked about shrinking timeframes in previous trainings, right?
Starting point is 01:00:18 Three mini days right getting 21 days a week. I'm talking about something slightly different here It's shrinking how close you believe you are. Let me say something to you that none of your haters will ever want you to know. You are much closer to your dream than you think you are. It could happen much sooner and much bigger than you think. And it is your ability to begin to believe and get real clarity of perception of time that is much closer than you think it is. And it is your ability to begin to believe and get real clarity of perception of time, it is much closer than you think it is. And it's your ability to begin to bring,
Starting point is 01:00:50 not only get clear about what it is, but bring it closer. Believe it's going to happen sooner that will get you to act faster and be less distracted by the feedback or the weather that happens while you're on this run. A 60 yard sprinter, boom, they're gone. They don't need to worry about conditions, what's going to happen around them, who thinks what, crowd noise, the path, any of that stuff.
Starting point is 01:01:13 It's now. The marathon runner, their pace is slower. There's feedback, they're looking around, they're listening, they're watching. They got to stop for water breaks, don't they? They're dependent upon getting the water. They're dependent on the towel break They're dependent on all this other stuff and because they think it's such a long race. That's how they behave Whereas the sprinter goes now So it's your lack of depth perception
Starting point is 01:01:37 It's your lack of understanding of how close it is that allows the noise the criticism the feedback to impact you negatively And the last point is this, you need to accept the suffering. You need to embrace the suffering. Here's the truth, there's two types of suffering that's gonna happen as you chase your dream. There's either the real suffering, which is the going through the hardships,
Starting point is 01:01:58 taking the rejection, making the phone call and having somebody not show up. If you're on a fitness journey, it's the real suffering of eating cleaner. It's the real suffering of hitting the gym when you're tired and sore. If you're an entrepreneur, it's the real suffering of the false start
Starting point is 01:02:12 and then the setback, the false start and then the setback. It's embracing the suffering. See, once you decide, I know I'm gonna have to suffer to get there. I know that's part of the journey for me, and I'm gonna talk about this at length in another audio. Once you accept that there will be suffering, right, it becomes so much easier when it comes your way.
Starting point is 01:02:29 It's just something you know is part of it. You don't see the suffering as some sign you should stop or the suffering as some sign that you're not cut out to do it or that it's not your time or you should go in a different direction. Because you're sprinting all the time and the dream is closer than you think it is and you accept that you're going to suffer on the way there it makes it so much easier as the suffering comes to just know it's part of the process and here's the hook though it's the type of suffering are you going to go through the type of suffering that gets you closer to your
Starting point is 01:03:00 dream or the suffering that moves you further away. The real suffering is a good thing. It moves you closer towards your dream. It's the unnecessary suffering that these haters put you through that isn't fair to you. It's the suffering of emotion you feel. It's the suffering of fear you feel, of doubt, of anxiety, of wanting to please everybody. This is what I'd call false suffering. This is what I'd call false suffering. This is what I would call suffering with no value, suffering with no finish line, suffering with no dream. I'm willing to suffer and I accept the suffering in moving towards my target. I'm gonna get knocked down, I got to get up. The race is
Starting point is 01:03:39 gonna be painful. I'm gonna get tired. I'm gonna get fatigued. I'm gonna get rejected. I'm gonna fall behind. Then I'm gonna go in the lead. Then I'm going to get tired. I'm going to get fatigued. I'm going to get rejected. I'm going to fall behind. Then I'm going to go in the lead. Then I'm going to fall behind again. I'm going to have all kinds of suffering to get to that finish line. And I'm willing to accept that suffering in order to win. And you need to accept the suffering as well. What you don't need to accept is the type of suffering that is put upon only in your own head. Put upon by outside forces.
Starting point is 01:04:04 The type of suffering that most people go through every single day, that is totally unnecessary suffering, that causes you not to go through the real suffering that gets you closer to your goal. If you're suffering emotionally, if you're suffering because of what other people think about you, if you're suffering because of these dream stealers in your life, this is what I call false suffering that gets you nowhere. You're going to suffer and you should embrace the suffering. It's actually a beautiful thing.
Starting point is 01:04:28 There's something beautiful once you say, I'm gonna have to suffer to get there. But this suffering's beautiful because here's the truth. The price you will pay to get your dream pales in comparison to the price you will pay if you don't get your dream. See, the price you'll pay to get your dream to get to the finish line is short term. It's a year, it's five years, it's ten years, it's
Starting point is 01:04:49 fifteen years, whatever it is. To get to your dream body, your dream business, your dream relationship, your dream finances. It's a short term suffering which pales in comparison to living the rest of your life without that relationship, the rest of your life without that business, the rest of your life without that achievement. See, the price you'll pay, again, to achieve your dream, once you accept you'll have to suffer and pay a price, is insignificant compared to the price you will ultimately pay if you don't. That's a lifetime of suffering. But what will steal that dream from you, what will steal the ability to pay that price,
Starting point is 01:05:22 is suffering from what other people think about you, suffering from these relationships in your family, suffering from feedback from people who aren't concerned about you, who are antagonistic towards your fate, antagonistic towards your future. You're going to suffer. Make sure it's the good suffering, the suffering with a reward. There's no reward to the emotional suffering you're going through worrying about your haters, worrying about what people think about you, worrying about the detractors. I'm not here to tell you as your friend, as a mentor, that suffering is a bad
Starting point is 01:05:52 thing or that suffering towards your goal is something you shouldn't embrace. I embrace it all the time, every day before I go in the gym. I know I'm gonna suffer a little bit but it's gonna make me stronger and more fit. As an entrepreneur, I accept their suffering, I accept their discomfort, I accept their setbacks. There's something beautiful once you accept that. What's terrible is then to accept voluntarily the suffering that is so unnecessary that the rest of the world is going to try to put upon you. So distinguish between the type of suffering you're willing to go through. Don't let anybody else ever cause you to suffer, to lose your perception, to lose your vision,
Starting point is 01:06:28 to lose how close you are, to lose your belief, to steal your dream, to get you to pay the ultimate price. The ultimate price is that you begin to suffer worrying about what other people think about you and in the consequence of paying that price is you will pay a lifetime price far greater for not getting there. So today, I want you to distinguish, is someone a hater or are they giving me criticism, concern and feedback that I should respond to? That criticism, that concern and feedback, is it coming from a valid place? Somebody who's successful in the area that I'm getting this counsel from? Okay, I want you to be thinking about how much closer you are to your vision than you
Starting point is 01:07:02 think you are. I want you considering for a second about the type of suffering you're willing to go through and how worth it will be when you get there. Do not let the people in your life steal your dreams. And I hope today we've dispelled the myth that everyone's a hater. Everyone's not a hater, and it's your ability to distinguish who is and who isn't that's going to determine to some extent where you end up going in your life. Oh, this is it. The day you end up going in your life.
Starting point is 01:07:30 This is it, the day you finally ask for that big promotion. You're in front of your mirror with your Starbucks coffee. Be confident, assertive, remember eye contact, but also remember to blink. Smile, but not too much, that's weird. What if you aren't any good at your job? What if they demote you instead? Okay, don't be silly. You're smart, you're driven, you're gonna be late if you keep talking to the mirror. This promotion is yours. Go get them. Starbucks, it's never just coffee. Samsung Vision AI televisions transform screens
Starting point is 01:07:58 into intelligent solutions, from the shows that make us laugh to those that make us cry. Now, your TV knows you more than ever, whether it's reviving old memories with AI upscaling or seamless hands-free control with universal gestures. This isn't just television, it's a whole new vision because it isn't just about what's on,
Starting point is 01:08:17 it's about who's watching. Learn more about Samsung Vision AI televisions at samsung.com. Very short intermission here, folks. I'm glad you're enjoying the show so far. Be sure to follow the Ed Mylett show on Apple and Spotify. Links are in the show notes. You'll never miss an episode that way. Today's question was very simple. Ed, how do I change my present right now? By the way, if you have a question you want answered on the show, you can submit it on my Instagram at Ed Mylett, E-D-M-Y-L-E-T-T.
Starting point is 01:08:48 You submit it there, we get thousands of them, but there's a chance your question will get answered on the show. And so today is all about leadership and vision and dreams because I've been asked about this topic a lot. And don't discount yourself. If you have a child, if you have a company, a business, if you are a human being, you're a leader in the context that I'm going to cover today, okay? So today's topic is this, I want you to write this down. Here's the title. It takes leaders with vision to help
Starting point is 01:09:14 people with dreams. Let me say it to you again, this is big stuff. It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. That's not my saying. I heard it somewhere many, many years ago, but I've lived by it. It takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. What does that mean, Ed? Well, here's what it means. The first thing is it's a reminder that everybody you meet has a dream. Everybody's born with a dream. There's a heart that dreams. We get older, those dreams can change, they can evolve, they can even die and get buried. But every human being has a dream. That dream could be to be a multimillionaire billionaire, that dream could be to lead millions of people, that dream could be to be a mother or a father, that dream could be a particular
Starting point is 01:09:55 career, that dream could have a particular body, that dream could be to live with this particular set of emotions. For some of you, your dreams as simple as my dream is to begin to be happy. I'm tired of living sad or down or worried or angry. But remember this, every human being you meet has a dream. It might be a big one that's long term and it might be just a short one. Their dream might just be, man, can I get through today with a little bit of peace, with a little bit of bliss? But everybody's got a dream. I reminded myself of that when I meet humans, that they have dreams. Every precious person
Starting point is 01:10:30 has one. And like I said, there's millions of them and there's varieties of them. And some people have lots of different dreams. But this is a context and a syntax that you begin to see your brothers and sisters differently. That server at the restaurant that's serving you, that you don't make eye contact with when they ask you, how's the food or what would you like to order? That person's got a dream. That dream might be just that you acknowledge them. That dream might be that they want to be the best server that's ever lived. That dream might be that, you know, they want to have a big YouTube channel someday.
Starting point is 01:11:01 That dream might be they want to write a book. That dream might be that they want to meet the love of their life, but that person's got a dream. That's why they were born. You were born to live a dream. You were born to make your dreams come true. And I know this. And so what those people are looking for is a leader. And all a leader means is I can help you. I see something that you don't see. I see a potential. So as a leader in a company, many of you run companies or businesses. Remember this, it takes leaders with vision to help people with dreams. What does that mean? That means that you need to begin to work on your vision because everybody you meet has got a dream.
Starting point is 01:11:42 If you're a mother, what's the vision for your family? What's your vision for your children? Are you sowing seeds in them of vision and visionary leadership in them? I read a book a long time ago that really changed my life. It's an old book. It's written by a guy named Guy Kawasaki and it's called Selling the Dream. And what he was really writing about was Apple. He was the guy that kind of marketed the old Macintosh for Apple. But the entire book is the context of what Apple was doing to become a great company. And if you really understand and study that company, Steve Jobs was a great dream seller. See, selling the dream is a skill and a talent you build. Listen to me. But most people are oblivious that it's important. Most people think that's only for the Steve Jobs
Starting point is 01:12:28 of the world or the Ed Milets of the world. You wanna be a great father? You get great at selling a dream to your children and your family and your spouse. You wanna be a great business person entrepreneur? You get great at selling the dream and having a vision for where you wanna go. You wanna be a great, you wanna lead yourself in life. You better have a big time
Starting point is 01:12:46 vision. You'd be able to sell yourself on that dream. Life's about vision. That's why the Bible talks about where there is no vision, the people will perish. They will literally die. You're a dead human without a dream. You're a dead human without a dream. So you should constantly be working on your dream muscle, your vision muscle, and your ability to sell yourself and other people on that vision. I am talking to you today because I had a dream and a vision that I could help millions of people, that I could use an ability I thought I might have
Starting point is 01:13:16 to communicate to reach people. Remember this, we constantly move in our life towards what we're most familiar with. We move to the familiar, we gravitate to the familiar, we develop patterns and behaviors that are familiar. That's why when you drive home, usually from wherever you work, you don't even have to consciously think about how you're getting there. You just kind of pull right off the freeway when it happens, don't you? You're not even thinking about it because it's familiar to you. You get in the shower, you don't think, you know what, today
Starting point is 01:13:43 I'm going to soap here first and then shampoo. You got to root, you just do it unconsciously. Your life, most of it is unconscious because your brain is trying to save energy by creating habits that are repetitive and that are familiar. Well, if you're only familiar with the tasks you have to do. Or as a mom or a dad familiar with, I got to cook them lunch. I got to get dinner. I got to pick them up for school and you just do the monotonous stuff and you never have a family that's loaded with a vision or a dream of where they're going or for each individual child you ever for your spouse that you're selling them a dream and a vision of who they could be and how
Starting point is 01:14:18 much you believe in them of all the things. I'm not very good at I'm amazing at selling people on themselves. I'll tell people that all the time server in not very good at, I'm amazing at selling people on themselves. I'll tell people that all the time. Server in a restaurant is a great example. If I say, man, you're awesome. You are awesome. You're amazing. Thank you. Man, you're not even going to be here someday, are you?
Starting point is 01:14:35 You want to do something out of here. I could see you out of here doing more. Or if they do want to be there, I could see you running this place someday. With my kids, since they were little, I was selling them a dream and a vision. I said that my let's are going to do something awesome. I'm telling you, hey, listen to me. The my let's are doing something awesome. They still get text messages from, hey, let's do something great today.
Starting point is 01:14:54 We're going to do something freaking great as a family. Whoo. Kick some butt today. Making a difference. The my let's are leaders. We got a vision and I'll sell them that dream over and over again. Think about all the people you admire in your life. Think about them. What's one thing they all have in common? They had a big old dream, a vision and a dream that they sold either themselves or you. Let's go through a few. And by the way, when I'm saying this, what about you? What vision are you constantly selling yourself on? What vision are you selling your colleagues on?
Starting point is 01:15:26 What vision are you selling your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend on? Your children on? Your parents on? Do you do that? Are you conscious of it? Because that's called being alive. The ability to grab a vision and develop it is a muscle. And to do it repetitively, even when people are rolling their eyes at you, going, I heard this before and here's the kicker get good at selling it that's a second step think about who you
Starting point is 01:15:52 admire let's just go through a few people let's say you're a follower of Jesus just curious did he have any dream he sold do you have any vision his, his dream was everlasting life for you. That's about as big as it gets. You bought the dream and the vision if you're a believer. Whatever your faith is, you've bought the vision and the dream of this person that is your deity. In my case, I'm a Christian. And then what did he do? He sold the dream. He cast the vision and he sold the dream over and over and over and over and over again. And then he built a team of people that sold it and it's become the biggest movement in the history of mankind. Maybe you're not religious. How about Martin Luther King? Do you admire him? Wow, that's interesting because his most famous speech is, I have a dream and he sold the
Starting point is 01:16:48 dream. He did it with his oratory skills. He did it with his physical labor in the marches and the standing in the difficult times up against adversity. And then he had other people who caught that dream like the Rosa Parks of the world who started to carry that dream and that vision. Okay, maybe you're into politics. Who do you like Trump or Obama because you don't like them both. What did Obama have? Hope and change. If you loved Obama, you were all about hope and change and he
Starting point is 01:17:18 embodied that hope and that change that you love. Maybe you didn't like Obama, maybe you're a Trump-er. You love Donald Trump. Did he have a vision? Does he have a vision? Make America great again. That's the vision and he sold the dream on it. Now it's even more powerful when you embody that dream. So let me give you some steps. You gotta get great at seeing a vision for yourself and other people. Then you got to sell great at seeing a vision for yourself and other people. Then you got to sell a big enough dream that the dream of everybody within your stewardship can fit inside the one you're selling. So if you're a business leader, you got to sell it big. Here's your number one problem if you're running a business right now. You ain't selling it big enough. You got to see it bigger. Ready for this? Get in the big, man.
Starting point is 01:18:02 Sell it bigger. Get in the big. When Apple was just a board company, Jobs was talking about being the most transformative company of all time. That was crazy. How about me? Some guy that's just plugging away as an entrepreneur 25 years ago, a dream of being worth hundreds of millions
Starting point is 01:18:19 of dollars, of influencing millions of people, of using my story to change. You'd have laughed your ass off at me back in those days. Well, people aren't laughing anymore, are they? Because I got a big old vision. I started selling myself the dream. And when you sell it and then you embody it. So here, that's step one.
Starting point is 01:18:34 Get a vision. Step two, start selling that dream. Step three, make it repetitive. Being in business or being a mom or being a dad or being a leader is not coming up with new things you say to old people. It's saying old things to new people. Let me say that to you again. Too many of you are trying to create some new thing you're saying to the old team. What you need to be doing is saying the old things to new people. So I've said it over and over and over. So
Starting point is 01:18:59 you got to sell it big enough that everybody's dream is fits inside of it. So the my let's are gonna do something awesome. Max, you can play on the PGA tour. Bella Boo, you can have your own business and run for president someday. It fits inside the dream that I'm selling. If you run in a company, you gotta get the dreams of everybody to fit inside that.
Starting point is 01:19:17 The third thing is you gotta back it up with massive action. It can't just be words. People gotta watch you go, oh, she means it now. You get good at selling that dream and you do it repetitively. You don't end up suffering from what I call leadership fatigue where you get tired of hearing from yourself. You get tired of saying it. Most businesses fail because the leader gets tired of selling the dream and acting like it. Most parents fail because they get tired. If they ever sold a dream, they get tired of selling it because the kids don't behave, they don't act like it, and they finally just quit. The more you sell the dream and sell the vision,
Starting point is 01:19:50 I'm convinced the problem for most kids is they're being raised by parents who don't sell a big vision and a big dream and tell them how amazing it's going to be. When you're a leader, that's a position. That means you have a viewpoint the people behind you can't see. You have a job as a leader, as a mom, as a dad, as a business leader, as a coach to say, hey, let me tell you what I see because you can't see it. Let me tell you how amazing it's going to be when we get there, how worth it it's going to be to go through the trials and tribulations, how worth it is to go through the ups and downs and put the work in. Let me say it to you again, because this is going quick. Okay. You got to see something they don't see because of your position as leader, and you gotta
Starting point is 01:20:27 be able to say, let me tell you what I see. And you tell them over and over and over, and you tell them in different ways until they get it, but you say the same thing. And you tell them how amazing it's gonna be when we get there. Go all the way back to Jesus. Let me tell you what I see. I see you in heaven someday. Let me tell you how amazing heaven heavens gonna be. Let me tell you
Starting point is 01:20:45 how amazing it is, right? Over and over and over. Then you tell them how to get there. Over and over and over again. It's gotta be big. It's gotta be bold. It's gotta capture people's hearts and they've gotta see themselves fitting inside the one you're selling. It can't be a selfish dream unless you're just leading you. Then you gotta do the hard one you got to validate it with your action they got to see you go wow she's serious she's in here two hours earlier than she used to be oh my gosh she's got this dream of doing this bodybuilding contest she's doing look how disciplined she is with her diet my gosh you know she takes off on lunch and works out in addition to her morning workout they start seeing it man he's talking big stuff for the company right now. He's talking major plans, major vision,
Starting point is 01:21:29 unbelievable stuff. If you seen how he's working right now, this dude's a maniac. He means it. You validate the dream with your actions. You tell your kid they're going to play high school basketball. How often are you getting out there shooting with them? How often are you getting up early? How many videos are you sending them on shooting stuff? How many articles? What the coach are you trying to get work to get them with? Validate it with your actions. You become a powerhouse and then it starts to get momentum. This is what happens in life. You got to learn to do this. If I was to tell you one thing about your life I would wish for you is
Starting point is 01:22:03 that you would get a bigger vision for you. If there's one thing I would wish for your company is that you get a bigger vision for your company. If there's one thing I'd wish for your family is that you get a bigger vision. And after you have those things, then what I would wish for you is that you work on the development of selling that dream and getting better at selling yourself and others on that dream, then I'd wish you'd repeat it almost to the point of people thinking you're crazy. And then what I would wish is that everybody can fit inside the one you're selling. And then what I'd wish is that you'd validate it by taking massive action. You start doing that, your life changes. The reason your life is not changing if you want it to is you don't have a compelling vision that's greater than your fears. And the way you make
Starting point is 01:22:50 a dream happen, by the way, you might say, I don't know what my dream and my vision is. Let me tell you what it is. Your dreams, what will move you in your life always is either the future you want or other people. You'll never do anything for yourself, but you'll do stuff to achieve your vision and you'll do stuff to make other people happy. What I recommend you do is once you get that vision is you link your love for other people to that vision and dream.
Starting point is 01:23:16 Because as long as you tell yourself, I love these people more than I'm afraid that this dream won't happen. I love these people more than I'm worried about the obstacles and the roadblocks. I love my family. I love my whatever it is more than I'm scared, more than the adversity. My love is greater than anything that will get in the way. Most of you are afraid to get a big vision because you think you're going to miss it. And then you're afraid to really pursue it and chase it because you're afraid you'll fail. Many, many times I wanted to quit and I would remind myself I love my family more than this
Starting point is 01:23:52 obstacle. I love my family more than I'm afraid. I love my family more than this adversity. I will love my family longer and it will endure far past this problem. And once I attached my love to the dream, the people I love to the dream, I became a pretty unstoppable force because there was no cop-out. And by the way, if you know someone who's quit on their dream, you know the hard reality? The adversity was greater than their love.
Starting point is 01:24:26 The adversity was greater than their love. The adversity was greater than their love for their family. They sold their family out. That's the hard truth. I can sell out my family. There ain't any word game, any adversity, any obstacle, anything you're going to put in front of me is going to get me to sell my family up the river. And that's exactly what you're doing when you quit. Let me ask you this, let's just get this straight.
Starting point is 01:24:49 Is there anything bigger than your love for these other people? Is there anything that would come in your way that would be bigger than your love? Maybe your love for your Lord, your love for your family. Anything bigger than that? Good, I hope the answer was no. because if there's nothing bigger than that, you're gonna win. Unless of course
Starting point is 01:25:10 you renegotiate that at some point, which a lot of people do. You ever seen someone who's been defeated in their dream? Quietly they might blame someone else, they might have their excuse, but deep in their soul, deep in their intuition, deep inside them, they know. They sold out. They sold out. Here's the great news. I've quit many things before but I got back up again. It's not too late. You can decide right now. That's it. He's right. I'm gonna start attaching my vision and my dreams to my love for these other people and I'm getting up. I'm gonna be a different force now.
Starting point is 01:25:48 Let me ask you this question. Any of you that have kids and if you don't have kids, just pick somebody you love. Let's say you were sitting in a meeting right now. Someone walked up to you and handed you a note and said that person was in a serious car accident. Picture your children if you have children or your grandchildren. If you don't have children, your mom or your dad, your boyfriend or your girlfriend, you're in a very big meeting room and you got handed a note, so and so has been in an accident, it's serious, you need to come now. What would you do? You'd get right up and run out of that room, wouldn't you, in a minute, wouldn't you? Would you stop and go, well, wait a minute, I don't want to be rude to the
Starting point is 01:26:26 speaker. I don't want to get up and bother the other people in the room. What's everyone going to think about me when I get up? Is everyone going to say wouldn't occur to you at all? That stupid stuff of what other people are going to think? Because you got to get to this person you love, right? Because your love is greater than that moment. And when you got up, if you started to run out of the room and someone started to go, Hey, someone said, what are
Starting point is 01:26:46 you doing? You can't get up in the middle of the meeting. There's no way you can do this. That's rude. Sit your butt back down. Would you go, oh, okay. I, I don't want to be rude. Would you do that? Or would you go, get out of my way? My baby, my child, my girlfriend, my mom has been in an accident. Get out of here. And you steamroll. And when you got to the door, they said, hey, you need to get back in there. This door is locked. There's no way out. What would you do?
Starting point is 01:27:12 Go, well, I guess that's a sign. I'm not supposed to get to my dream. It's God giving me a sign. Too much adversity. Is that what you say? It's a sign. Nah. You know what I bet you do?
Starting point is 01:27:23 I bet you'd kick the door down, wouldn't you? You sure would. You'd kick that door down. Bam! No obstacle. When you got out to your car and it didn't start and it wouldn't go, you're like, well, I guess that means I'm not supposed to get there. Man, one thing after the other, you guys all just lay down here. Another obstacle, another sign, just not meant to be. I just don't have what it takes to get to my child. Would you do that? Heck no. You'd go car, jacket, dad gum car if you had to, wouldn't you? You'd ask, I need your car. I need your car. I need your car. I need to get, take me right now. You'd get a new, you do whatever you could. You get an Uber, you get a taxi, you'd run and get anything it took. When you got to the hospital, if you got to the door, they go, hey, slow down.
Starting point is 01:28:01 There's procedure here. You got to sign in. Are you family? You got to be like, hey, I got to get to my family. No obstacle. Well, hey, we need these. Would you say, well, man, before I do it, I need to know the exact words I'm supposed to say. I need to be totally prepared for when I get to the hot. I need total preparation before I can get to the screw preparation. You're never going to be totally prepared for that moment. You have to have the perfect words or the perfect moment
Starting point is 01:28:28 or the perfect knowledge or understand everything. That's all out the damn window. When you want something to get somebody that bad, you'd get to your baby, wouldn't you? You would need the perfect words. You wouldn't need to know everything. You wouldn't wait to get started for the right timing. None of that crap would matter, would it? Because you're going to get there because you love them so much.
Starting point is 01:28:50 That's how your dream has to be. And by the way, that's the truth of how people make their dreams come true. And here's the truth about the people that don't. They don't attach that love, that urgency, that obsession. And so little stupid things start to seem big. What are these people gonna think? Oh my gosh, someone rejected me and told me to sit back down. The doors are closed. There's no way to get in that room and make it happen. You'd find a way to get that door knocked down,
Starting point is 01:29:16 wouldn't you? There's no door closed. It didn't start. There's a setback my car. No, wouldn't matter. When you got there, they said, Hey, we need this information. We need to hear the right words from you. You wouldn't wait around and go, well, let me sit in the parking lot and prepare for another three weeks before I get started. So the timing's better. And I know everything I need to know when I get in that hospital. No, you know enough. And you'd get going. What you would say is I'll figure it out when I get in there. Isn't it trivial? And isn't it silly? when you put it in that context, what we let stop us and why we lay down after a while?
Starting point is 01:29:51 Ed, how do I get back up in my life? I'm telling you how. You get back up by getting a new vision, by repeatedly selling yourself this dream and by attaching your love like that precious child or loved one who was in an accident, that type of urgency, that type of love, that type of obsession towards chasing it, and now you're up, and when those obstacles do come, they may rattle you, they may stagger you,
Starting point is 01:30:15 but they won't stop you. You're unstoppable. What we're gonna discuss today is the filter or prism in which the point of view of which you view your life. And there's really two ways that we look at our lives, the filter we see it through. And I wrote about this in the Power of One More in my book. There are a certain percentage of people, a very small percentage of people who operate out of their vision and imagination, their dreams.
Starting point is 01:30:40 That's their frame of reference. They're almost like a child and they dream in their life. They operate out of vision and imagination. They allow that to be the dominant filter in prison at which they see life the vast majority of people don't do that, however, most people operate out of history and memory and They wonder why they keep repeating the same life over and over again with a different set of people and maybe a different set of Circumstances, but the same results the same emotions and So the first thing to ask yourself today is which one are you and it's okay If you're the one that you wouldn't prefer to be but do you for the most part
Starting point is 01:31:13 Operate out of your history and your memory and you think a lot about those things That's what most people do or you one of the rare few people who operate out of imagination Because if you can operate out of imagination, see kids teach such a great lesson, why do most kids operate out of imagination? They're going to be an astronaut or Superman. They pretend, they play games, they have joy. That's what imagination gives us. That's what vision gives us.
Starting point is 01:31:40 Memory doesn't do that for us. And so why do kids have that? Because they have no history. They have no memory. So they're forced almost to operate on it. At some age, the crime of life, the tragedy is that we begin to operate out of a history and a memory. And oftentimes that history and memory are the things that we least want to repeat.
Starting point is 01:32:00 They're some of the most emotional or scarring times in our life. And so most human beings involuntarily go through their entire life operating out of this point of view, out of this filter, unknowingly, unconsciously. They just don't know they're operating this way. And so I want to challenge you today and I'm going to give you some keys to start to operate out of your imagination and your dreams and your vision. See, because that point of view allows you to be present. There's really three points of reference, isn't there?
Starting point is 01:32:29 There's the past, there's the present, and there's the future. And I think the happiest people are present an awful lot of the time, and the rest of the time, most of that time, they operate out of their vision and their imagination and their dreams. I'm not suggesting that evaluating your past can't teach you lessons. You can't heal some of it. But spending most of your time there is not something that's productive. Deepak Chopra has this great quote where he says I use memories
Starting point is 01:32:59 but I don't allow my memories to use me. And too many people are operating out of their memories or using them It's okay to look back and to heal and to evaluate and to gain wisdom from our past But that should be a small percentage of our time We should be fully present and focusing on the future at the same time. And so how do you do that? We're gonna talk about it today a little bit. I think I can give you some keys First thing is this there's there's a term that I want you to understand called cognitive immobility. And what that means is, is when you're really mentally
Starting point is 01:33:29 trapped in a place from your past, most people have some form of cognitive immobility where they just can't move out of it. And what happens is everything they see currently, they reference to the past. You know, our minds work this way, even reading. There's a lot of research that says, the way that we actually read is
Starting point is 01:33:45 Our mind actually sees the beginning of letters and it references the past where we've read it and it tells us That's what the word means. That's why you can read very very quickly So your mind wants to take something it sees now and reference it to something else. That's really what thinking is So that's why this takes work If you're left to your own devices most of the time what you're gonna see will be referenced somewhere in the past And so that's why this takes work. If you're left to your own devices, most of the time what you're going to see will be referenced somewhere in the past. And so that's cognitive immobility. People that I think are happy, that create things, that take a life that's one way and
Starting point is 01:34:15 make a new one, have cognitive mobility. They're able to move forward. They're mobile in their thinking. So a really good example of being fully present but focusing on the future is actually physical training, is working out. I think it's one of the reasons why working out is so powerful because when you're lifting weights or working out, it forces you to be completely present on the task right in front of you because you're lifting heavy things. You have to focus on the present moment. There's actually a threat to you.
Starting point is 01:34:42 You could get injured. You could get hurt. So that's why I think so many people say, well, the reason, man, when I work out, I've got all these endorphins flowing and my neuro biochemistry is changing. And yeah, that's true. But one of the other reasons is it's a metaphor. It's an example of how to live our lives, which were fully present in the moment. But one of the reasons we're training is not the pain in the moment, it's the future payoff. So physical training, working out is one of the great models're training is not the pain in the moment, it's the future payoff. So physical training, working out is one of the great models in life. It forces you to be present.
Starting point is 01:35:10 You can't be lifting something heavy or bench pressing or squatting or running and not be present moment because you'll trip and fall, you'll drop the weight. There's a threat physically to you to be fully present and focused, but you really aren't doing it for that moment. You're doing it because there's a payoff. Your heart will be stronger, your cardio will be stronger, your body will look stronger or better. And so, physical training is a great example of how to be fully present but focused on
Starting point is 01:35:35 imagination and vision and dream as opposed to history and memory. When you're working out, you're physical, you're not thinking about your past. It's almost impossible, right? So that's a great metaphor. This is the Ed Myron Show.

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