THE ED MYLETT SHOW - When Life Changes Overnight: A Story of Faith, Family, and Resilience with Brie Bauer
Episode Date: December 24, 2024How Do You Adapt When Life Changes Everything? This week, I’m honored to share one of the most unforgettable conversations I’ve ever had, with an extraordinary woman—Brie Bauer. Brie’s story i...sn’t just about survival; it’s about resilience, faith, and redefining what it means to show up for life. After giving birth to her third child, Bo, at just 27 weeks, Brie faced a series of life-threatening complications that resulted in a medically induced coma, multiple surgeries, and ultimately, the amputation of her limbs. But this isn’t a story of loss—it’s a story of transformation. Brie shares how she confronted the unimaginable with a mindset anchored in faith and perspective. From the moment she woke up and made the decision to move forward, she has been determined to focus on what she can do instead of what she’s lost. Her love for her family, her honesty about the hard days, and her commitment to adapting to her new reality are lessons we can all learn from. As she says, “You have to adapt. You have to change with what comes to you.” In our conversation, Brie opens up about motherhood—how her definition of being a mom has evolved and how she still shows up for her three boys every single day. She also speaks candidly about her faith journey, admitting to moments of frustration with God while remaining open to growth and connection in her relationship with Him. And through it all, her husband Reed has been a rock—showing what true partnership and love look like in the face of overwhelming odds. Key Takeaways: Adapt to Your Reality: Life doesn’t always go as planned, but your ability to adapt determines your quality of life. Perspective Is Everything: The way you frame your challenges can completely shift your experience of them. Motherhood Redefined: Being a parent isn’t about what you can physically do—it’s about being present in every way you can. Faith Isn’t Always Perfect: It’s okay to wrestle with your faith and still remain open to its growth. Love Shows Up: True partnership means being there for each other in ways you never expected. Brie’s story isn’t just about overcoming—it’s about becoming. She’s a living example of how even in the face of unthinkable challenges, we can still choose gratitude, resilience, and love. Tune in and let Brie’s courage inspire you to face your own challenges head-on. This is an episode you’ll carry with you long after it ends. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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This is The Admired Show.
Alright, welcome back to the show everybody. So today will be a little bit longer introduction
than I normally do because I really believe today's show is one of the most unique ones
I've ever done and one you may remember for the rest of your life. And it's because of
this remarkable woman that we're going to have a conversation with today. I just want to tell you all, you know,
I made a decision a while ago as the show became more popular. Did I just want
to have actors and entertainers on every single week that are very famous like
some other shows do because it's easy to get them on once you have a larger show
like we do. And as I did some of those interviews, some of them were incredible
but some of them frankly are very general. A lot of platitudes. I don't think a lot of it applies to real people's lives.
And I made a conscious decision that every week when I come into your car, your gym or your living room, wherever the show is, I want it to change your life every week or at least have a chance to.
And so I'm very scrutinizing when I have guests on because I want them to make a difference in your life.
And that doesn't mean I don't have famous people on.
I do.
But I want to have the right people on that can change your life and I've just made that choice
with the show. And today this remarkable woman fits that description perfectly. So my guest
name today is Brie Bauer and most of you have never heard of Brie before. She doesn't have a
million people on social media. She doesn't even have thousands of people on social media. But what
she has is a heart and a spirit that
and an infectious relentless pursuit of life that I don't think most people have and I think today's going to give you perspective on your own life. So Brie went through a pretty harrowing experience
after she gave birth to her third child, Bo, a lot earlier than she expected. Bo came very, very early,
27 weeks into her pregnancy. Little Bo was born weighing just two pounds eight ounces and was immediately put in the NICU unit and
meanwhile during that time Bree's health took a traumatic turn for the worse. She
suffered tremendous blood loss during labor and birth and fluid filled her
lungs. She ended up with multi organ failure. I want you to imagine this, you're delivering your third baby way earlier than you think. Organ failure,
she ended up going to a medically induced coma and she was diagnosed with a chance, prognosis was 10%
chance of living and she ended up with streptococcal type A, toxic shock syndrome, and a thing called introvascular coagulation,
which I know a little bit about because I had a sister suffer with that.
And so she had to have an emergency hysterectomy, later surgery on her colon, and unfortunately
the medications that were crucial for her survival led to a reduction in blood flow
to her extremities, to her limbs.
And that caused those limbs to be amputated. When she finally awoke from this experience, life was very different.
And I want to discuss this journey because this is a woman in the middle of this journey. As I interview her today,
she is doing dialysis. As we're talking today. This is going to give you perspective.
It's going to change your life and that's why I do the show. So, Brie Bauer, welcome to the show and thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much Ed for
having me. You are amazing. Well let's go to the obvious question. What did I mess up there? What
took place? And walk us through the the birth and also just the you wake up and discover,
I assume you got a conscious choice to have your limbs amputated or did you wake up and this was done while you're in a coma that was
one thing my family made sure of is they wanted to hear from for me about saying
yes to amputation so they did keep everything until I kind of came to but I
think you really did a wonderful job,
especially pronouncing all of the issues that were going on. I do want to point
out that February 17th is how this all happened. And I went in actually to an
urgent care with my primary care first,
for my shoulders just like felt kind of sore,
like when you have the flu or something.
And when you're pregnant, you know, I was like,
oh, I probably should check this out.
So went to my primary care,
but there was like seven or eight people in front of me.
And so I was like, I don't wanna wait.
And then I decided to go to my OB urgent care.
And luckily when we got there, they're able to put those ultrasounds on their
stuff, on your stomach to see contractions and how the baby's doing.
And my mom and I look over at the monitor and it's just like,
he, he, he like just like constant hills going up and down.
We're like, are those contractions?
Um, and I was just having back to back contractions.
I had no idea.
That's when Bo pretty much saved both of our lives.
Uh, not really knowing at the time, but he was in distress and the doctor's
like, we got to do emergency
cease-fire action. So I get to do it. Let's go. Um, and then as, uh, they put the
mask on me for the emergency section, that's the last thing I remember.
Unfortunately, when they opened me up, you know, the baby was delivered.
He looked great.
Unfortunately, when they opened me up, the baby was delivered. He looked great, little tiny guy,
but they couldn't stop the bleeding.
I had a placental eruption and they still needed to go to
my family and discuss the next steps,
which was to do a hysterectomy.
When all this went down, like blood pressure's going down,
they're putting me on pressors, being in DIC at the time as well, which means your blood is clotting
when it shouldn't. And it is not clotting where it should. So it's kind of backwards.
But during that time, the doctor came to my family and said, you know, we have to do this
with Seregumi.
She will probably, you know, pass during surgery, but she most definitely will die if we don't
do it.
And my poor husband, you know, he's having these thoughts of what to do.
And at the same time, you know, we're handing this certificate to name
the baby. Having both like losing his wife and then having a baby at the same time. We ended up
choosing Bo. That was the only name we really agreed upon at that time. And so he went along
and wrote that down. But they of course said yes to the surgery for me.
And they did the hysterectomy.
When they were in there, they found that my colon
had blocked in too.
Because this whole process of trying to save my life,
the focus was to provide blood flow to the major organs.
Yeah.
So like, just like the, you think of like a triangle, almost of your chest and,
and below, but that, that colon just wasn't getting the blood flow.
And so they had to do a third surgery to take that colon out and do that.
Osteomy, but it's just crazy what they found.
But it's just crazy what they found. I saw three surgeries within 24 to 48 hours.
Then it was like this 10-day span where they put me in the medically induced coma.
And slowly, my family was watching my fingers start to blue, turn blue and black.
And the doctors were saying at first she'll probably lose her fingers and her toes.
And then it seemed like, you know, with ours, they were like, she'll probably
use your hands and her feet, but they just kept seeing the blue creep up.
Even on the back of my head, it was, it became no product.
Uh, I think there's other terms to use for this kind of issue, but yet even on the back of my head, it became no product.
I think there's other terms to use for this kind of issue, but yet my limbs, they just weren't getting that blood flow.
So when I woke up, my family and the team of doctors
did a wonderful job explaining to me kind of what happened
and that they took off the bandages
to show what my limbs looked like which I greatly appreciated especially as a nurse to
to view what and why they did it.
Bree can I ask you I just want to interject I I just want to ask you something, by the way, this is such a, it's, it's,
I'm short of breath a little bit,
just picturing this,
but I want to ask you,
just because
everyone listening to this is going to go through
something in their life,
probably nowhere near like this,
where they're almost in shock
that something's happening to them,
whatever it is, it's someone walks in and says,
I'm leaving you in a marriage marriage or it could be a number of
things or you're fired and that is nowhere near like what you but you
understand that I'm curious is you you're about to have this beautiful
experience giving birth to your third child.
All of these things happen. You wake up and now you're looking at your own
purplish blue limp. What what happened in, do you remember what happened in your mind?
Was it shock? Was it sadness? What, what, what, what, or was it like,
let's just make a decision here and move on. What,
did you remember processing something then?
I do. I, I remember the exact moment that they were undoing all these bandages
and, uh, but again,
this is probably like two or three days after I truly came
to and that's, you know, still I was on a lot of medication. But I, the room, you know,
a lot of people came into that room that day to see what I would do. So first there's just
a lot of eyes on me, which I'm not one to enjoy that. But either way, it's a
learning experience. And, you know, again, as a nurse, and I worked for that same hospital, too. And I can understand
when people need to come in to get educated. But I first saw my hand, and it looked like a mummified hand. It was just curled up. You can still see my
fingernails and then up my arm. You can tell it got blue and black. Then they took the other arm
dressing off and then my legs. The legs were the craziest because I was 5'10", or 9 1 1 2 1 2, but I had pretty long legs
and to see all of that gone.
But honestly, I was like, okay, let's get them off.
I want to start rehab.
Yeah.
There's no way, nothing could be done, you know,
you can't save a hand that looked like that. Um, and if you keep your limbs like that,
it'll get infected, you know, and then you go subject in. So I was like, let's do this now.
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month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash EdShow. Can I tell you one thing about you that's remarkable? You don't even know
this about yourself, but I'm just going to point a couple things out to you and
everybody listening. The first thing that you said and the way that you frame this
and that you look at it is, Bo saved our lives. It's one of the first things you said. And to me, that's a
beautiful perspective and it's true. And it also goes to, I think, one of the keys.
I'm trying to figure out how a person like you that's going through dialysis
as I'm speaking to her is smiling and giggling and laughing even though I know
this has been, and by the way, this is recent everybody. This is not a long time ago.
And it is all in the way you've decided to frame this and look at it.
So the first thing you said was that both saved our lives as opposed to,
you know, I had this harrowing experience and because I gave birth to Bo,
these things happened to me. It's completely different.
And then the second thing you did is you talked about Reed,
your husband and what he was going through looking at his wife sitting there and
having this new baby as opposed to what you were going through actually
experiencing this pain and the agony of the discomfort.
I just want to point that out to you. You're smiling when I say it, but perspective drives everything in life and I just
think you're amazing that that's and that's truly the way you see it isn't it?
Yep, I think even before all this happened I was I don't think my
personality or who I am has ever changed. Just physically things have changed and time time is incredible. If I were to have
been seen at my you know primary care doctor urgent care I don't think they
have those ultrasound things. They may have test me for the flu and then sit me
with an antibiotic just not knowing because I had no other pain, just shoulder as well as,
I would have died that night.
They wouldn't have been able to save me
if I would have come in for pain or something,
I'm not sure what it would have been.
But just like, I think all the time about how,
just the steps I took and immediately being like, I think all the time about how just the steps I took and, and
immediately being like, no, there's seven people in front of me.
I'm going to go somewhere else to see if I can be seen a little bit sooner.
Just like that intuition.
And, and, um, uh, yeah, if the doctors had, uh, moved as quickly as I did when I got
there,
or you know, Bo didn't show those signs of distress. You know,
it was just a couple of decelerators.
I think they looked for the baby's heart rate and if it goes down,
yeah, and that had happened.
This is a little bit, I have to tell you, Bree,
it's a little personal for me for two reasons. And then I'm going to ask you some really hard stuff here in a second. Okay.
Deal. It's personal for me for two reasons. One, the birth of my son, he was going through distress
with a cord wrapped around his neck and we thought we were losing him. So very different blessings
came from that than what you had to go through. But I, a little, 1% understand.
And then I have a sister, my middle sister Andrea,
who's diabetic, had very similar issues
during her C-section that you had.
She couldn't coagulate, she was given her last rites twice.
Very similar to your situation.
And I only say that to you to say that
I just have such a heart for you
and what you've gone through.
I'm curious, and please be honest about this,
how has this changed your perspective on life overall?
And even if there's dark times,
even if it's hey, you know, three days a week,
I'm terrible and four days a week, I'm good.
Whatever it is, just take us through if you would because
you're changing lives right now Bri see not only did you save your own life but
right now there are millions of people are going through what I'm going through
is not so bad this precious woman's gone through something different or if I do
go through something horrific her wisdom having been in the middle of it right
now will save me.
So how did it change your perspective just on life overall?
I'm curious.
I really don't think my perspective on life
has changed from what it was like before.
I was a palliative care nurse for a bit.
And so, just the thought of death and how people decline when you get older
and diseases get worse.
I am a clinical research nurse for the VA and I was a part of a study that focused on
improving quality life.
And so, you know, there's so many different measuring tools, but just the, what I gained
from it was that in order to have a quality, a good quality of life, you have to adapt.
You have to change with what comes to you.
If you don't, if you keep things weighing on your shoulders of what you can't do or what it used to be like in life, then, I mean,
you're just going to be pulled down by that for the rest of your life.
And you know, that's heavy.
And so for me, my perspective has always been adapting, just changing things that are in
your control and then are not in your control.
But with that said, the thing that truly weighs me down even like till this day is my definition
of how to be a mother has significantly changed. And it breaks my heart that I can't pick up my baby
because my limbs, I just can't do it.
I can't get up the stairs to his room when he's crying.
I can't, there was a long time before we figured out how the
physician pillows and, and other tools to feed them.
Um, you know, those things that I, that meant so much to me as a mother for my
other two boys, I just, I can't do.
So when I'm, you know, in pain and laying in bed, I'll hear my baby cry.
And it just kills me that I can't stand up and get to him.
I have the love and support of family and friends to be there for him.
That's what breaks me.
But then again, what grounds me is that I'm here.
But then again, what grounds me is that I'm here. I'm here to see them grow up.
Although other people are around hearing for him, that still doesn't mean I'm not leather. I have to remind myself of that, that I'm here. I
get to hear those cries.
Hmm. Brie, I love you. I'm just watching you get so much on. I just met you and I love
you. I, shoot, you got to get me here. Bree. Yeah.
These three boys are so blessed to have you. I think,
I think a lot of things as a parent, I'm sorry, gosh, you got me there girl.
You know, a lot of things as, as parents with kids,
I think are caught, not taught.
And these three boys are going to catch some darn toughness away from you.
Some resiliency.
And it's interesting because that's what people say.
That like, you know, your boys are going to be so proud of you.
But they are just...
They're not faced by it at all.
So there's a five, a three, and then the baby.
Year old and they're like,
there's times where my five-year-old kind of catches on.
Like the other day he said,
he's just looking at me and kind of touched my left arm
and said, mom, I wish you had your arm back. It was so beautiful.
Oh gosh.
And I was like, dude.
But then I say, I wish I had it too.
Um, but you know, we got sick and, and then they're just like, oh, something
shiny, you know, like they've, and then they run away.
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You said something so powerful about adapting earlier.
You said something so powerful about adapting earlier. And the other thing he said is not romanticizing or reminiscing about what used to be.
I think so many of us, you know, comparisons the thief of joy, but really the worst comparison, I think, can be to a previous time or what could have been.
It's one of the most painful, but I'm curious. I'm sure that there's gotta be a morning.
I imagine you might even have a dream where you still have all of your limbs
and then you wake up every dream you have. Is that right?
Yeah.
And so when you wake up and there's some of the hard things I want to ask you
because you know,
sometimes people have a dream that they're still in a relationship they're no longer in or at a job or look away
they used to you'll wake up and realize oh my gosh I don't what do you do
because I have to imagine you're flooded with sadness when that happens is there
something you do do you pray do you look at your boys and be grateful for that
there's something you do to change that state, so to speak, in you when you hit those moments of comparison to what used to be?
Yeah, not so much when I wake up. It's hard to explain kind of like the transition from a dream
to being awake, having something you don't have anymore. But I just keep going.
But what goes through my mind a lot is that I'm not doing enough. I'm not there for my boys enough.
So just sitting on the floor can be kind of painful for me.
Um, you know, I don't have a bone anymore on my right side, on my right, where my femur
used to be, they had to take that out.
And so pain on that side can increase, but, uh, then I regret, regret not doing the four to play with a baby.
Or I used to do so many different activities with my voice that I can't now.
Like build forts, play outside, go into my backyard.
I'm so limited, but I try to just be in the moment.
I try to just, even though I'm not physically playing around, I'm there to see, I'm there to use my voice.
It's really hard if one of them, you know, needs to go to time out.
It's the middle one. He's Audrey like that, where I'll say,
you need to go and tell them how buddy. And he's like, no, and I'm like,
I can't, I can't do anything about it.
He's going to figure out you can't do anything about it.
What do you hope they learn from you, Bree? Have you thought about that yet?
You're just all about other people.
And so everything you say is other people's experience with you,
not your own. I just want you to understand that's why your frame is so beautiful.
But I'm curious, since you are so focused on everybody else,
and we'll talk about you and Reed in a minute,
but what do you hope the boys are learning from you,
that we can learn from you?
Like, don't be humble, just for once in your life, for a minute here.
Like, what should we be learning from you?
And what will your boys be learning from you?
You can do more, you can accomplish more than you could ever imagine.
When you doubt yourself, you're going to let that doubt weigh on you.
You know, and just another part of my life, just a few months before everything happened. My dad died and he was just the best.
And I'm always curious of what he would think
today and I know it would break him. But he also taught me the fact that you don't dwell,
that you always try to stay humble and that family's everything.
So I hope I kind of teach my boys the same. Especially the family aspect. Family is everything.
He's very proud of you. I could tell you that girl. Very proud of you. God bless you. You know,
got me twice now, Bree. Don't talk about dads. I know, right? Yeah. I, yeah. Okay. You know,
everybody's have to say some, this is literally why I do the show right here.
And it's why I'm so honored to bring particular people into your lives. And I
love that I get to share this remarkable person with you all. How's it affected
your faith, if you don't mind me asking, did you have faith prior?
Is it weakened it, strengthened it, changed it?
Oh, goodness.
Growing up, I grew up Catholic.
Growing up high school, college,
faith was not a big part of my life.
It wasn't until I became a bedside nurse
and I recognized the difference in care or the difference in improvement.
They provided patients and so I would see their family pray or I'd see them do a ritual
or something that would help them and it worked, you know? And even when someone is passing,
faith is huge and allowing them to pass,
I think more gently.
And so during that time it improved.
I was, my dad was really big with his faith in the Bible and trying to teach us.
I come from a family of four kids and he just, the ways of the Bible and, and of course, you know, we, we agree, uh, with those facts of,
you know, how to be
a good person, you know, uh, and at Laurels and Ethics today, I
hands down believe that my father saved me and the baby.
I know if he had a choice, he would probably choose the baby because he just loved his
grandkids so much.
That's kind of where my faith has grown is knowing that he's up there. And, uh, although I'm not very happy with God, you know, um, I am faced with so many,
I mean, I'm meeting so many different people and a lot of them have just kind of
say a line from the Bible or, or tell me how important it is, you it is to believe and to allow God to come into
your life. But I'm still learning. I don't want to jump into anything that I really don't know,
that I'm just saying I do, that my faith is strong. I don't want to just say that. I don't want to
change anyone else's opinion about me because of my faith, but all in all, it's growing,
you can say.
Well, I think that's the all-time honest answer on a podcast and not a podcast answer.
That's why you're here.
First off, saying that you're mad at God is actually so honest, and so many people go
through times in their lives where they are.
And we have a relationship with God. Now the fact that we're mad at him indicates he exists
in our heart and our spirit and that's a beautiful thing. And seeking to understand why or how over
the time of our lives is absolutely appropriate and it's a relationship that we have. And what a
great answer, by the way, and an honest answer.
Because you know, I asked that question to a hundred people on a podcast, it's
just going to be the podcast answer. And that's the real answer. And that's
what most people, by the way, in their life, they're struggling with the
validity of it, the truth of it. If there is a loving God, why would this
be happening to me? And if you do exist, I'm mad at you.
And when I get there, you better explain this thing to me. You know,
God's going to have some explaining to do to you when you get there and you
will get there and it will all be explained,
which is the most beautiful part of it. But thank you for that answer. Guys,
I told you we're going to, this is a deep one today.
So I think when you're married to somebody, you're married to read,
I think you think you know them and you love them.
And then I imagine when you go through something this incredible,
I mean you learn something you didn't know or something you thought you knew is
validated or so you can't go through something like this and it not somehow
alter change, improve, make worse a marriage. It has to,
how has it changed or you can even give us the before and the after, whatever. not somehow alter change, improve, make worse a marriage.
It has to, how has it changed or you can even give us the before and the after, whatever.
How would you describe what this has done for your relationship with Reed,
your husband?
He walked into the room. Oh really? All right, Reed, we're talking about you,
dude.
I love him more than I did before.
It's completely honest answer.
He keeps me alive.
He makes sure I still feel beautiful.
And he just does everything.
And like you said, you really don't know a person.
If I were told, you know, we eloped in Colorado, and if you were to like have told me a day that this is the man I
married I don't know if I would believe it. In general the things he does for me
not a lot of like close friends would ever do or you know blood relatives but
he does it without question and he makes it so I don't feel like a burden, which I know I am.
Um, gaining independence is, is something that, um, really hard at, uh, but it's hard.
It's hard to, uh, build that strength overnight.
Uh, but he is just incredible.
Everyone around us recognizes it. And again, yeah, he's now trying
to find his life again. As I gain more independence, he's kind of finding his life again and what enjoyed doing. But three kids, including the newborn and a wife that has no limbs. I mean,
and to go every day, just there's something he's doing. And he tries to make sure everyone gets a
part of him. And that's wonderful. But it's it's wary and so that's just
another motivator for me to be like Bri you gotta sit up by yourself we're
doing all of these crazy things you know with prosthetics and we're there's still
a few surgeries I need to do but I hope to be standing up again and all that all
that stuff.
Yeah.
Well, when you do, you'll come back on.
My show's very heavy audio, but I hope everybody today, you'll give yourself the gift of going
over to the YouTube and seeing this woman's face because it's just so you know, Bre, there
is a God and the Holy Spirit's all over you.
I'm just telling you, you're just a precious soul.
By the way way guys, I
thought it was a really interesting thing. I love the beginning of people's answers
when I ask things. I listen even closer and you said he makes you feel beautiful
and I just want to remind all the dudes listening to this today, are you doing
that with your lady? Are you making her feel beautiful? And ladies, is your dude
doing that? It's one of the things that's, and by the way, are you making him feel handsome and beautiful?
I mean, I just think that that's not ever said out loud. I feel safe. I feel loved.
I trust him. Well, does he make you feel beautiful?
And what a wonderful, subtle thing you said there
that stood out to me anyway. Hamburglar, why are you calling?
Rubble, rubble.
McDonald's has a new biggest burger called Big Arch, made with two 100% Canadian beef
patties, a new delicious sauce, and all the McDonald's flavors you love, and wait, you
want me to help you get it?
Rubble.
Come on.
Compared to beef burgers on McDonald's current menu at participating restaurants in Canada.
Let me ask you this. When, if ever, have you thought of giving up?
Don't give me the podcast answer, give me the brie answer because you've been doing that all day today.
Oh gosh. Yeah, I mean, there's been a few times, not as far as action, but the thought
of what it would look like around here if I wasn't here. And I feel like people, especially
my husband, my assumption would be he would be able to thrive a little bit more. Uh, but of course he would totally disagree.
And so, yeah, I have thought about just like how it, before all this happened, um,
people pleaser, you know, just do anything to make someone else happy,
make someone feel comfortable.
And if I were to be gone, I feel like that might be for the best for everyone, is to
not have that worry anymore, to know that I've gone and, you know, always think of me,
but I think it would be easier.
But what I tell myself, or I will remind myself of what my husband me, uh, as I was in a coma and he was just
praying that he just wanted the mother for his children.
And so, uh, that was, that was the biggest part is just, just to make sure that they
had their mom back.
And so then I kind of come to and I'm like, yes, I'm going to be here.
I am going to be there for them.
I don't know that I've done an interview that's honest because we're,
you know, everybody, this isn't one of these things where like it's 15 years
later, Bree's going through this now. I just really appreciate you.
And, and by the way, the latter is the right conclusion I can
promise you that and you said earlier about your boys they're five three and
one I think is that right? Like eight months yeah yeah but five three and then
Bo and yeah they don't know now everything but I can promise you like
all kids when they get into their 20s they're gonna figure out who their mom
is and their dad and they're gonna going to have an amazing example. That's the, there's always a blessing in horrible
things and this is not a good thing. Having said that, the blessing more than likely will be in
these three boys and knowing the type of mother they have, how tough, resilient, her faith will
grow over time, her example, her mindset, her love, her concern, her care, her nurturing.
And then to have a father who's such a real man. He's just a real man, you know, reads
a real man. And now you're getting all emotional. But, but, and, but I got to tell you, like,
that's where the seeds will be harvested of what's going on right now. Not that you're a psychologist or anything like that,
but I want to ask you maybe one or two questions left.
If someone came to you right now and they said, I'm going through,
and by the way, most people would be embarrassed to say,
I'm going through something difficult after listening to what you're going
through. Right?
And that's one of the other reasons I wanted you on is some form of perspective.
But in our own lives, it is our life, our journey, and our hardships are our hardships.
And so if someone finds this, you know, this is around the holiday season we're doing this,
maybe they just feel lonely, whatever it is.
They're going through something tough and you're like, hey, over here, so am I, by the way.
Would you just give them any counsel,
if they were your good, close girlfriend or friend?
What are you learning?
What would you say to them?
I would probably just listen versus saying anything
specific, because again, like I said, it's about their journey.
And I do get that a lot.
Like, I've talked to so many different people, you know, using the Instagram.
Um, and they will usually start off with this being like nothing compared to you,
but, you know, and they tell their story.
Um, and it is.
Humbling validating to hear other people's grief and what they're going through.
But I am happy to be that example of,
even look at her, she's pretty bad.
Even at rehab, which I love rehab because they're helping me get stronger.
And I know a lot of people there will look at me saying, I don't have it that bad,
but you know, we're all there for one purpose is to get stronger and improve
with whatever is rehab.
There's so many different disabilities there.
And, um, but I'm okay to be that person, but if, if anyone were to come talk to
me about what they're going through,
I have no judgment whatsoever.
Unless I was being sarcastic or something with someone.
But yeah, I think people just need to be listened to and recognized.
What do you mean by recognized?
Like, what do you mean by that recognized? The listen part, I think I get, but what do you mean by recognize? Like what do you mean by that? Recognize the listen part.
I think I get, but what do you mean by recognize?
Well, there's a, this technique that I learned, uh, motivational interviewing
and, uh, a couple of them, very powerful parts of that is, uh, I think it's like
the writing reflex, which as a nurse, I would do so much where I would
tell my patients what they're doing wrong or like, you know, you need to do this.
This is what the textbook says.
You need to take these medications regardless of what's going on at home.
And it stopped me from like writing, like jumping in front of them saying,
trying to give them the right answer.
And so, but what truly helped people I believe
is kind of like repeating what they're telling you.
It's like verbatim, like what they said,
but relaying it in a way that they know that they're heard.
And so I think that that's just a very powerful.
Oh, sure.
Okay, thank you.
And I concern, you know,
different studies I was a part of,
I would talk to patients and I could just hear over the phone
the difference it makes when you just recognize what they're saying, especially with patients,
I think they feel like they're not heard because maybe their care team is just focused on medical uh, medical side of things. But, uh, but yeah,
it just kind of recognizing what they're saying and almost repeating it back to
them.
By the way, so true. I have to tell you that's so true. I think most answers,
but it's hard, everyone that's difficult for, it's harder for a man,
I think in general, like they want to just fix or solve or what's that,
you know, but I have to tell you,
I think most problems are solved within yet there's value to talking with another
person because as long as they let you talk and validate it,
you're hearing yourself put it out into the space to get it solved.
I'm a big believer in what you just said. Big believer on that. Yes, yeah, I agree. Like I don't seek advice very often from people, but I do seek to be
listened to. And so it looks like advice. I'm sharing, hey, what do you think? But
what I'm really doing is listen to myself work this out loud outside of my own
patterns and thoughts inside of me. I have to even think today, talking about
this for you. It's just a little bit different to get outside of it for an
hour or so, right? Sure. Hear yourself discuss it. Last
question for you, and by the way I want to just first say thank you. I don't want
to thank you just at the end. Thank you and I want to thank you for millions of
people. First this is a perspective gainer for everybody, but two the lessons
are just irreplaceable. I think the biggest lesson is that you can just plug
away everybody
and not have it all figured out. You don't have to have it all figured out.
I've got everything figured out with God. I've got everything figured out with why
this happened. I've got everything figured out with my kids. You don't have
to have it all figured out. You just have to get up the next day one day at a time
and do it again the next day. And if I get anything from you, Bri, and I get a lot,
that is one of the takeaways for me is that it doesn't have to all come into
place all the time right away, but I'm curious for you,
what does it look like now going forward?
So take us a little bit about where you are. You're in dialysis as we speak,
your limbs have been removed,
what you're doing, PT, a lot of therapy.
What, what, what are we going to see happen for you from here going forward
that you're hopeful, but can be improvements upon where you are now?
I, uh, want to get the colostomy reversed.
So it's a surgery that can be done, but it is a pretty big surgery, which
I never, I didn't think that it would be too big. But for me, my abdomen's been opened
up so many times. And there's a lot of scar tissue. So we have to almost expand my skin
in order for the surgeons to open and then close me up after the class,
maybe after my intestines are pretty much put back together.
But it's a surgery that you almost have to get it done the first time,
and that terrifies me because with the last eight months or so of my life,
anything that is gonna happen,
it was always the bad, the worst of it.
And so I just wanna get through that, just that reversal.
And what will happen is I can then get a prosthetic
for my right side where I don't have a leg.
It's like this, it kind of wraps around your abdomen,
but it would wrap right over the clostomy.
So it wouldn't really work.
So I need to get that reversed
in order to have the right leg.
And then I would stand up and start taking some steps.
And then future, future kidney transplant
because unfortunately my kidneys, they're, they're, uh, they're not doing everything that they
should, but, uh, you know, I'm doing home dialysis and it doesn't impact life too, too
much.
But, um, I think in, in a probably a year or two, uh, we're going to start looking at, you know, candidates
and hopefully someone would be in action, hopefully.
I hope so.
And do that.
I don't even know the word I have for you.
I'm different because of you.
I'm different because of you.
And...
It means a lot.
Yeah.
I haven't stopped thinking about you since I saw you on John's conversation and,
immediately reached out and said, I need to have you on my show. I mean,
immediately. And I'm so grateful that we did this today. You are, uh,
you're special. You're just special.
Thank you. You are. And everybody listening to this, you are as well.
And I hope this woman's inspired you.
I hope you listen to this again and again.
I hope you share it with somebody that you love or needs to be inspired
or needs some perspective or is going through a hard time.
And you're a godsend, Bri.
I hope everybody sends you love.
You want them to you don't like a lot of attention.
You want them to go see you on social.
You want to go to Instagram?
Yeah, we were at Bo and Bri.
to go see you on social? You want to go to Instagram? Yeah, we were at Bo and Bri. Um, B-E-A-U and then and B-R-I-E. All right. Well, we'll put it, we'll put
a link on the, on the show notes. By the way, everyone, Bo is doing great.
Mm hmm. So I want to make sure that you all know that Bo is doing great. I'm
sure at the end, it was like, what about Bo? So Bo's doing awesome. All right,
everybody, Bri, thank you. God God bless you everybody. Max out.